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sideblog-usernametaken · 4 months ago

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Ok so Dandadan analysis time because I've been seeing some of the old conversations about it again. So two things about Dandadan (Not the only things but two important ones):

One of the over arcing themes is bodily autonomy

This series is a romcom

Rant below the cut.

A major reason people don't like Dandadan and/or are willing to dismiss it outright is because of the SA scenes. More specifically, a lot of people believe these scenes are fanservice and have no narrative reason to be there. They do have a narrative reason to be there though. These scenes aren't supposed to be fanservice either they're intentionally supposed to be upsetting/unnerving (I won't get into how here because other people have articulated this better than I can, and they will continue to do so as long as this misconception exists).

When people think of "violations of bodily autonomy" or "violations of consent" they usually think of rape or sexual assault. It is the beginner's example to the concept, largely because everyone with common sense agrees that rape and sexual assault are bad so it's easier to point out why they're bad. This also makes it easy place to start a narrative around bodily autonomy.

The very first scene of Dandadan is of a guy trying to coerce Momo into having sex with him even though she clearly doesn't want to. The same episode/chapter directly puts this kind of behavior on par with rape and sexual assault by paralleling the time Momo kicked him to the time she kicks the rapist aliens so hard she breaks their space ship. It's very clear that the narrative's stance is that not only are rapists bad, the people who aren't legally rapists because they technically got "consent" first (through coercion) should be treated with the same level of disdain. This isn't the kind of thing that you write into a series without legitimately thinking about the dynamics of consent and bodily autonomy.

Continuing on: The series also touches on the double standard between male and female victims of sexual assault. Okarun gets laughed at for having his genitals stolen, and Seiko just does not believe Momo got abducted by aliens. This very clearly parallels how in real life people will believe male victims got assaulted, but their assault is also brushed off as not that important or something they "should've enjoyed" or a sign of weakness. Especially if the assaulter was a woman. Meanwhile female victims are usually accused of lying regardless of any evidence they provide. These two things hold constant in Seiko's reactions throughout Dandadan. She literally rides in a space ship but doesn't believe aliens are real, and even when she's helping Okarun she's usually also doing a bit at his expense.

Going even further, Dandadan also branches out into other forms of violations of bodily autonomy that aren't thought about as often. For the sake of the analysis I'm going to do bullet points regarding each character. Fair warning: There will be major spoilers here so if you haven't read the manga keep scrolling until you stop seeing bullet points.

Acro Silky: It's very easy to point out that she was a sex worker, but what I don't see is people talking about the other ways she had to sell her body to keep her and her daughter afloat. She worked in janitorial services (A lot of manual labor) and as a store clerk (A lot of standing). Individually these two jobs are not necessarily coercive, they're not great but they aren't pulling you into something you didn't know about from the start. The thing is though, none of these jobs pay enough by themselves for Acro-Silky to make a living, meaning none of them are properly compensating her for her manual labor. This is an instance of manufactured consent, while she technically agreed to take these jobs, it's clear that she wouldn't be working all of them unless she had to. This is kind of an expansion of the coercion from the guy in the first scene but on a societal level where Acro-Silky wasn't in the position to be able to say "No" and move on. As a result, her freedom is restricted. She can't spend nearly as much time with her daughter as she wants to and she can't afford to get her nice things either. To top it off, any time she did spend with her daughter she spent physically exhausted because of her work.

Mr. Shrimp: Similarly to Acro-Silky, Mr. Shrimp is forced into work he does not want to do because of limited options and the need to support his child. What sets him apart though is that he's a migrant worker and his employers physically abuse him because they can get away with it. This is an exact parallel to how migrant workers are treated in real life. He even goes to work on a farm and it's potrayed as him making an honest living to support his family which is exactly what the majority of migrant workers are trying to do. Mr. Shrimp doesn't technically "have to" work on a dairy farm now, but he chooses to enthusiastically because it's his only option that doesn't require him tk disregard his morals.

Jiji: Jiji is an example of bodily autonomy violations of minors in regards to medicine. This one is a bit more complicated so stick with me here. When the Evil Eye starts possessing Jiji, the adults around him unanimously agree it needs to be exorcised and start preparing for the ritual. When Jiji decides "Hey, actually I want to try to co-exist with him" Seiko is his only adult advocate, and even she turns around on the idea when the Evil Eye has a close call with Momo. This parallels how in real life adults will make decisions for the children in their care regardless of their wishes, and how even the adults trying to be accommodating will still go against the kids' wishes sometimes. It also does a good job of accurately capturing the nature of these disagreements too, because yeah the Evil Eye is a problem so it's understandable why all the adults want to just get rid of it even if Jiji doesn't agree. But Jiji's stance of "Yeah this will be a pain but it's one I want to deal with" is also understandable. Like, imagine instead of an exorcism we're talking about getting an amputation that would be technically helpful but isn't strictly necessary.

Vamola: One of Vamola's initial goals when she's introduced is to find a strong man and have kids with him. This isn't something she actually wants to do but is something she has been obliged to do because she is one of the few survivors of a planetary genocide. She has been marked as her people's only chance at a continued survival because the rest of her people are too old to have children. Her mother and the rest of the surviving Sumerians gave everything they had to get her off planet safely as "the last thing left on Sumer to defend" so she has unfathomable amounts of pressure and survivor's guilt to go out and have kids. She doesn't get to figure out if she wants to have kids or not, that's just something that has already been made up to her and her only choice now is with who. Luckily, the story currently has her in a position where she can have peers, a (comparatively) normal life, and she doesn't have to think of her mother's request for a while. But even if it's not the primary focus in her life right now it's still there.

Rin: At a very young age Rin was forced into the role of caretaker. With a bedridden grandmother, a deceased father, and a mother who had to work long hours to make ends meet, Rin had to learn to be independent fast. She was basically forced to, otherwise her already unstable home life would break apart even further. To make things worse, Rin knows the predicament that she's in and her mother doesn't yet. Rin's mother thinks she "got lucky having such a good kid" and doesn't realize the pressure has gotten bad enough that Rin is already giving up on her passions to take care of her grandmother to give her mother a break. Mostly because Rin knows their family doesn't really have any other options and she doesn't want to place an even larger burden on her mother by adding more grief on top of it. It's essentially the "parent running themselves ragged to support their kid" story we've seen at least twice now but from the perspective of the child.

Zuma: Similar background to Rin where his father died and he took on a caretaker kind of role for his younger brother. Except his brother dies and this absolutely breaks his mother, to the point she commits suicide and tries to take him with her. Zuma is in the position where he has lost both his caretaker and the person he took care of, and he is fully aware of why that happened. This manifests as rebellion and him forming a gang that protects kids at his school from bullying and harrassment. He's becoming a caretaker again, but this time it is an active choice he has made. He doesn't technically have to start his gang or protect anyone, he has an adult taking care of him now and if he wanted to he could spend the rest of his highschool years stepping back and being a kid again. But he doesn't, and society labels him a delinquent for stepping in when the adults who should have didn't. This is another way that Dandadan shows how minors often have their opinions dismissed by adults who believe they know better.

Much shorter less spoilery rant:

Dandadan is a romcom. I have seen too many people complain about basic romcom shenanigans as if it's bad or generic writing instead of being genre conventions. "Ugh, there's a love triangle," Yes romcoms tend to have those. "Ugh, so many girls are into Okarun," Yes, and a lot of guys are into Momo, they both get romantic rivals because it's a romcom. "They keep going back to the romance and I don't like it," It's a romcom there's going to be heavy focus on the romance, you disliking that is a genre preference not a writing issue.

Like, do people not understand the concept of blended genres? Yeah this is a Shonen battle series but it's also one that has decided to be a largely character driven romcom. This is like someone walking into a horror comedy and walking out complaining that there were jokes and the horror would be better without them. The jokes are the point and the horror is a vehicle to get there. If you don't like jokes, go find a pure horror movie to watch.

#dandadan #dandadan spoilers #dandadan analysis

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the-gay-trashmouth · 7 months ago

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I think something that's bothers me about how folks talk about mouthwashing is how they talk about Swansea. It's either "Swansea would have killed Jimmy immediately if Anya had told him" or "he knew and he did nothing just like curly." because, to me at least it leaves out a lot of nuance to his character and situation. Curly and Swansea are really good foils to each other, one who's got a reputation for being the kind and helpful captain but in the end does nothing to truly protect the crew from Jimmy, and one who's gruff, harsh, and cruel but genuinely tries to help in the background, the reliable mechanic.

(read more for a long Mouthwashing character ramble tw for unwanted pregnancy and SA)

Because Curly is the one with the power. He doesn't take what Jimmy did seriously enough. And you can say that he might not have known fully what Jimmy did, but I think the "I told you" pregnancy conversation and his reaction to Jimmy right before the crash ("come on we'll get through this together. We'll figure it out, you've had hard times before-") are indicators that he knew, but he still chose to stick by his friend and treat it like a "mistake" rather than what it really was.

Now that's my own personal speculation of course, there's no outright scene of her telling him "your best friend assaulted me", but I think there's enough evidence in game through Anya and Curlys interactions to say that he knew, and he knew before Anaya knew she was pregnant. He had a fully functioning ship and four fully functional cryo-pods. He could have at least given Anya more security, kept her far away from him, and at most forced him into the cryopod until they got back to earth. Jimmy STILL had full, uncontrolled access to the cockpit AFTER his freakout with curly. AFTER Anya tells curly she doesn't feel safe with him. AFTER Curly finds out he raped Anya. He's so focused on seeing the good in his friend that he does NOTHING to protect Anya, doesn't strip away not one of Jimmy powers as copilot and consequently endangers her and the rest of the crew.

Curly was the captain, he had the power to relegate Jimmy to the fucking storage closet if he really wanted, at least put him in the cryopod until they got back to earth. In fact, he was the only person above Jimmy in terms of rank on the ship, but he chose to do nothing. He chose to let Jimmy continue as acting co-pilot, chose to comfort him rather than actually confront him. Slides off his weird sexual comments as jokes "So what's this about horses?"

Now let's compare that to Swansea, the mechanic.

We don't have any evidence that Swansea knew about what Jimmy did until after the crash ("it's been her telling me things") where they were trapped with no captain, barely any rations, and a single cryopod that he kept hidden away in the one room he had the key too (and the only room that could lead into medbay). He didn't use it for himself, he makes it clear he didn't intend on getting off this hunk of metal in his last few conversations with Jimmy.

Swansea as the ship's mechanic, was used to fixing things in the background. He didn't need to get along with anyone to keep the ship running, he didn't need people to like him to keep them safe. We see that with Daisuke. He's harsh on him, for sure, but he leaves constant notes to help him learn. Genuinely tries to keep him out of harm's way when it comes to more dangerous jobs. We know Anya was scared of Jimmy getting a weapon, she hid the gun case in the medical bay even knowing she would never get it open. We can see Swansea and Anya off on their own towards the first days after the crash, and Swansea still has a tight grip of the axe weeks and months later.

I personally think that was him trying to keep Jimmy from having access to a weapon. The only time Jimmy gets the axe while Swansea is alive is when Anya Specifically asks him to use it to get medical supplies. I don't think that's a coincidence.

Swansea, like any good mechanic, was quietly trying to keep things running out of Jimmy's sight. It's not until everyone is dead or dying that he snaps, that he finally takes direct action. But it was too little too late.

Both Curly and Swansea thought they were doing the right thing, helping in their own way. Curly genuinely wanted to see the good in Jimmy, wanted it to just be some challenge they could overcome, but in doing so he failed to see the monster right in front of him. He had all the power (in context of the crew, the company is a whole other can of worms I have so many other thoughts on), but he was too afraid to use it. Hell, he was DISCOURAGED to use it if the memo about HR complaints are anything to go by. Swansea, on the other hand, never trusted Jimmy, never even really liked him, but he didn't want to make anything worse either. He didn't know what would actually set Jimmy off, or what he was capable of, and aside from just straight up killing him what else could he do that wouldn't just push Jimmy further off the edge? Like with the foam. "One wrong move and you'll rip this ship a new asshole", he worked carefully, hiding the last pod from Jimmy, keeping the only other weapon on himself, guarding the only other entrance into Medbay, but Jimmy was escalating quickly. He underestimated how far Jimmy was willing to go, just like Curly had, and in the end suffered the consequences.

The only character who actually understood how dangerous and unstable Jimmy was is Anya. She knew the moment she found out she was pregnant he would hurt her ("you won't let me protect myself"). He wouldn't be able to take it, he would do something drastic. She knew he was escalating the longer they were stranded. Anya is the only crew member who truly understood how dangerous Jimmy was and took direct action.

And interesting thing to me is that she doesn't just kill herself. She locks herself in the medbay. She could have waited for Jimmy to sleep, or locked herself in the cockpit, but she locked herself in the medbay with Curly. She knows that with her gone there would be no one left to take care of him, she knew Jimmy would continue to escalate his abuse, and with her gone all of his anger and fear and guilt would turn on Curly.

And wouldn't you know it? She was right. Without Anya to stop him, he takes curly out of the bed, forces him upright into the cryopod, and forces a man with no skin, no arms, no legs, and infected tissues to be frozen for 20 years while the rest of his crew Rot. And that's only what we know to be reality- if any of his delusions had some basis in reality he could have done so so much more. Anya is the Only one to take reasonable, direct action to keep herself, and then Curly, safe.

But she didn't have enough power over Jimmy to truly protect herself. She didn't have the code to the gun case, she didn't have a weapon or a rank to fall back on. She was outnumbered by men who she knew from experience either wouldn't or couldn't keep her safe, and she was heavily pregnant with a baby she didn't want and most likely couldn't even get enough nutrients to sustain either her or the fetus. She was physically weakened and trapped in a stranded ship with her abuser with no way home and a medical miracle (curse) in Curly.

This game is a really good reflection of reality, in my opinion as an abuse survivor. Some people will see them as "one of the boys" and constantly excuse or downplay their actions (Curly), some people will do small things in the background, recognize the abuse and disprove, but don't want to get in the way or make things worse (Swansea), and some people are just straight up oblivious/naive (Daisuke). But in the end, it's the system that allows abuse and incentives coverups to keep peace or save face that really allows abuse to fester and escalate.

Which is why I personally have a problem with the idea that Anya should have just Told A Different Man because it ignores the very real chain of power and her own agency in her story, AS WELL AS the idea that Swansea and Diasuke knew but didn't care because that's just not reflective of real life. Not every man is some rapist apologist who doesn't care what abusers do until it happens to them, some people just don't know what to do, or don't have any good options that wouldn't result in further abuse. Hell some people just don't even fucking notice! Not everyone has had exposure to the signs or knows what to look for.

It's easy when looking at fictional depictions of abuse to say "well if I was there I would have just punched him/killed him/called the police" but real life, in that moment, its never going to be clear cut. You can call out abuse, but that might just lead to that abuser taking it out on their abuse victim later. They could even start to target you for daring to speak out, or try to hurt you and cut you off from the person being abused. You can know all the right steps and the right programs, but in the moment, when faced with a real situation where someone could get hurt or even killed? You stumble. You think things over, you don't try and make any direct moves that would set their abusers off. Sometimes that's a good instinct, and sometimes that just lets abuse escalate. It's never a good situation, and it's never actually anyone's fault but the abusers. And this way of thinking also conveniently leaves out the survivor of this abuse, and portrays them as someone who needs to be saved, rather than someone who needs support and resources to save themselves. It also very conveniently lets the company that Put Anya in this situation in the first place get off Scott free.

The solution isn't "oh one of the men on board should have personally killed Jimbo and saved Anya all by himself" its "Anya deserved the support of her crewmates instead of being forced into close proximity with her rapist and also maybe Jimmy shouldn't have access to the fucking controls or medbay or any weapons- AND ALSO the crew shouldn't have financial incentives not to report things to HR"

#yall thought this was a curly and swansea analysis?#nope got distracted with Anya #my beloved 😔💕#i just dont like the very black and white analysis ive seen going around #the nuance of this game and their situation is truly the best part #i also think the men of the crew and centered too much in discussions of Anyas assault #mouthwashing #anya mouthwashing #curly mouthwashing #swansea mouthwashing #stari wont shut up #yall take a shot everytime i said escalate wtf #read a thesaurus or something me. damn

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babyjakes · 1 month ago

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forever and a day | 55. baby her.

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summary | a story in which america’s favorite captain gives a new life and family to a five-year-old girl who has suffered well beyond her years at the hands of hydra.

characters | dad!steve rogers, girl/willa rogers (original character)

warnings | AU similar enough to OU to include spoilers to many Marvel movies (Age of Ultron and beyond). action and fight scenes with violence and killing. injuries/mild gore. mature themes related to and semi-graphic depictions of child abuse/neglect, past CSA and CSM, and their aftermath (emaciation, wounds, scarring, etc). medical abuse (including sterilization) and experimentation. ptsd/trauma symptoms in a child (developmental discrepancies, de-humanized behavior, detachment, extreme fears). medical treatment of CSM and other aftermath of abuse.trauma-informed therapeutic treatment of ECT. minor mentions of disordered eating. themes relating to abuse of power/authority and immoral interrogation tactics including SA (with brief depictions.) evil!Tony Stark.

[Steve]

"D'you think she'll try to run out of the house?" Jenny asks, the alarm evident in her voice as she rises to her feet. Carefully standing up myself and brushing off the sand from my clothes, I shake my head.

"No," I try to assure her. "I installed a surface lock higher up on the door where she can't reach it, after that night she went down to Bucky's," I explain, continuing to shake the loose sand from my shirt.

"Alright," the young lady breathes a sigh of relief, her gentle eyes catching mine. "Is this the first time something like this has happened?" she asks softly. I nod.

"This is the closest she's ever had to a tantrum in all the time I've known her. I don't think I've ever seen her angry like that before; it's just not like her."

"I understand," she says politely. "Steve, I know this must be startling for you, to suddenly see her behaving this way. But as I said before, this is right on track for how a lot of children begin to heal from complex traumas. The fact that she's displaying anger is a step in the right direction, in my opinion. What'll be most important is how we handle things from here."

I nod again, feeling as though I have a good idea of what she means. "Yeah, it's strange to see. But in a way, it's also a relief," I admit. "She's right. About the thing with Tony, I mean. I didn't save her. It's only fair that she gets to be angry with me about it."

Jenny smiles sympathetically, giving me a nod in return. "I would agree that her feelings are fair. It's really great that you're able to see that, Steve. Your ability to think of Willa's wants and needs before your own is critical, and I only grow more and more confident as time goes by in your ability to be a wonderful parent to her."

A subtle sense of encouragement and pride settles within me as I tell her, "Thank you, Dr. Brighton. I truly appreciate that, especially coming from you." Looking down at the mess of sand on the floor, I suggest, "If you want to go see where she might've went, I can get things cleaned up in here."

"Alright," Jenny agrees before stepping out of the door. Taking a moment to myself, I let out a deep sigh, running a hand back through my hair. An image of the child's face twisted in anger flashes through my mind, followed by her voice insisting, "You don't. You didn't."

I didn't. As many times as it happened, as many chances as I had to stop it all before it could get any worse, I didn't. And she paid the price for it. Over and over and over again.

Exiting the room, I go into the set of cabinets by the bathroom door and pull out the vacuum. From the front of the house, I can hear Jenny's soft voice speaking; they must be up in the living room. Going back into Willa's room, I start up the machine, running the head over the piles of sand collected on the floor. The mess takes little time to clean up. When I'm finished, I switch it off again, crouching down on my knees and collecting Willa's toys up in my arms. A hint of sadness washes over me as the little brown-haired doll catches my eye.

Putting the toys away in one of the bins, I carry the vacuum back out and put it away in the cabinet. Soft footsteps approach, and as I close over the wooden door in the wall, I look up to see Jenny. "Everything clean up okay?" her careful voice asks.

"Yeah," I respond with a low voice, straightening back to a standing position. "How's she doing?"

"She's... regressed. Significantly," Jenny informs. "And by that I mean, her brain is entering a younger state of mind due to an inability to cope with her current situation. You've mentioned that she's potentially done this before with you in the sense that she's grown very upset and cried for her mother, but this is a little different. I think it's probably due to the fact that this is the first time she's challenged you so openly." I nod, my heart sinking in my chest at the news.

"How can you tell?" I ask. "Is she asking for her mom again?" The woman's lips purse slightly as she shakes her head.

"I'm afraid it's... a little more intense than that. When I walked out into the living room, I found her curled up on her side in the corner of the room by the television. She was sucking on her thumb and rocking feverishly, behavior more typical for young or mid-toddlerhood. When I tried talking with her, she ducked her head down every time I spoke. And when I asked her questions, I only got a mess of incoherent babbling."

"Oh Willa," I mumble, the description of the poor girl nearly bringing tears to my eyes.

"Her current state reminds me of descriptions from her Hydra files, behaviors the agency noted from training sessions before she learned to swallow down most of her fear in self-preservation. Those notes were all from years ago, though, when she was maybe two or three."

I sigh heavily, shaking my head. "I mean, I don't blame her. That was definitely the boldest I've ever seen her act, especially towards me; I just wish I could show her that she's not in trouble for it. It's not exactly behavior I want to encourage, but I think it was well justified given the circumstances."

"I do believe there's some room here for reparenting," Jenny suggests gently, at least seeming to offer a tiny glimpse of hope. "I think it would be best for me to leave so that you two can have some time together; that's probably what she needs more than anything right now. Her mind is currently collapsing due to fear of the consequences of her actions, but you have a window of opportunity to step in and give her a happier ending than whatever it is she's anticipating for herself."

I nod again, knowing that the doctor's probably right. "Thank you, Jenny. For everything," I breathe.

"You're more than welcome," she replies with a kind smile, turning and heading for the front door. "Oh, and Steve?" she pauses.

"Hmm?"

"Now might be the time to 'baby' her a little," the blonde hints with a sweet smile before turning back and making her way to the door.

'Baby' her a little, I think to myself, nodding in agreement though I know she can't see me. While I feel mostly out of my element when it comes to all the trauma-informed child psychology that Jenny's so well-versed in, this does feel like one answer I probably could've come up with myself. If Willa's internally regressed to a younger state for now, out of the need for safety and comfort, then it only makes sense to approach her at whatever age that might be.

Turning back, I make my way through the little girl's open bedroom door, grabbing the fluffy pink blanket off of her bed as well as a blue pacifier that happens to be sitting on her nightstand. On my way back out of the room, her bookcase catches my eye. Pausing, I grab Goodnight Moon off the top shelf, which has been one of her favorites for quite some time now.

Heading into the kitchen, I open up the microwave, tossing the blanket in and running it for thirty seconds to warm it up. In the meantime, I grab a Sesame Street-patterned sippy cup out of one of the cabinets and fill it up with apple juice from the fridge, figuring it might earn me some points to offer her favorite drink. Once the timer goes off, I remove the blanket, collecting everything up in my arms again and making my way out to the front room.

As soon as I walk through the archway, Willa's faint cries of fear and distress become audible from over in the corner. In an instant, I soften up my posture, looking over to see her in exactly the state that Jenny described: curled up in a fetal position with her thumb in her mouth, her cheeks puffy and red as tears trail down them. "Shhh. It's okay, Willa," I hum softly, not sure if she notices me yet.

As soon as the words leave my mouth, her whole body jerks back, her big green eyes landing on me as she collapses into a stronger round of sobs. "Hey, hey," I murmur as I make my way across the room, stopping a few feet away from the little girl and kneeling down onto the floor. "Shhh, sweetheart. It's okay- you're okay, Willa. You're okay, there's no need to cry. No need at all, it's safe here." Choking and spitting through her thumb, her other arm rests up by her face in a defensive position, her entire body trembling terribly against the wooden floor. "Look sweetie, I brought some of your things," I try to entice her, placing the objects down on the floor. Jenny was right; every time I begin to speak again, the poor child's head jerks back in fear. At the sight of my offerings, Willa cowers, her legs kicking out faintly as she tries to press herself back further into the corner.

"I have your blankie, and your pacifier, oh- and some apple juice. I brought Goodnight Moon, too. Remember the two little kittens?" I list, but nothing seems to come even close to tempting the inconsolable little girl to listen. "Hey lovebug, you're alright. Deep breaths, remember? Can you take some deep breaths with me?" I ask, but as I predicted, my words do little to help as she continues to cry her eyes out. "Willa, Willa- shhh," I shush gently, reaching out and placing a hand on her shoulder.

A sob wracks through her body at the terrifying contact, tears and spit dribbling onto the floor as she whimpers, "M-mm-... h-h-... p-p-... p-p-... n-n-... n-nnn... " And while she fails to get out any actual words, the message she's trying to convey is clear. Help. Please. No.

"Shhh sweetie, it's okay, it's just Daddy, sweetheart. It's just Daddy; nobody's gonna hurt you." Rubbing gently at her shoulder, I lean down a bit closer to her, my hand trailing up and beginning to brush down her hair comfortingly. "I know you're scared, baby; I know, it's okay. But Daddy's right here, Willa-bug. Right here, and nothing bad's gonna happen to you. Nothing scary, doll. Just safe. You're safe." With my free hand, I reach over to pick up the blanket, asking, "Can I wrap you up in this, sweetheart? It's nice and warm; I just threw it in the microwave."

A new round of tears spills over as Willa ducks away from the object, whimpering weakly into her thumb, "H-ho-... h-h-ho-o-"

"No honey, not hot. Not hot, just warm," I cut her off once I understand her fears. "Just warm, pumpkin. Nice and warm and safe. See? Daddy's touching it," I point out, wrapping my hand a little bit further around the fluffy fabric. "Not hot, won't hurt you. Daddy's not gonna hurt you, baby."

As slowly and carefully as I can, I take the blanket in both hands and reach out to place it over the shaking child. The moment it touches her, she lets out a heartbreaking cry. But once she realizes that there's indeed no danger, she quiets down a bit, her big green eyes staring up at me as I offer her a soft smile. "There, see?" I coo, stroking her shoulder again through the fabric. This time, thankfully, she seems to let me.

"Hey, Willa-bug. You want this?" I ask, picking up her pacifier and holding it out to her. "I know your thumb must be sore, sweetheart," I hum sympathetically. Cowering back slightly, the small girl whimpers, her eyes widening at the familiar object. "Here honey," I soothe, gently placing the nub in front of her mouth and easing it through her lips. A faint cry rises in her throat at the insertion, but as soon as it's in place, her thumb falls to the floor, her eyes drooping slightly as the pacifier bobs in her mouth. "There you go, sweetheart," I murmur, letting out a deep breath I must've been holding in as the sight before me suddenly seems a lot more manageable than it was even two seconds ago.

The little girl's eyes trail to the picture book on the ground, and I smile at her lovingly. "Hey baby-bug. You wanna come sit on my lap and read Goodnight Moon together?" Willa shrinks back at the suggestion, more tears building up in her eyes as I quickly reassure her, "Hey- you're okay, sweetheart. Shh-shh shh, you're okay. Here, honey," I soothe, reaching out and gathering the child and her blanket in my arms. She whimpers softly as I hold her in one arm, using the other to swaddle her up in the comforting pink fabric. Once she's all wrapped up, I set her down in my lap with one arm still behind her, cradling her.

Willa shakes as she gazes up at me, fresh tears threatening to spill as I lean down, planting a kiss on her forehead. "You're okay, pumpkin," I promise as I rock her back and forth gently, relaxing as the girl's small body begins to settle against my own. "See? Not scary," I hum, reaching over and picking up the book off the ground. "You're safe with Daddy, baby. Always safe with Daddy."

Willa mumbles something into her pacifier, something I can't quite understand, causing me to lean down and ask, "Hmm? What was that, sweetheart?"

"Goo'night moon," she repeats, warmth spreading from my chest throughout my whole body at her simple words.

"That's right, doll. Goodnight Moon. You remember how it starts?" I ask as I flip open to the first page, well aware she know the whole thing by heart.

"In the great green room, there was a telephone, and a red balloon..."

← last chapter | series masterlist |

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dimitriblunt · 5 months ago

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good lord. okay. talking about phainon & anaxa stuff because i am very enamored with them right now and they've pulled me back into my kevinsu brain worms

mentions of leaks, so BEWARE!!!!

i talked about the nikador time loop thing briefly in another post i made, with how the entirety of amphoreus May just be one big ass time loop in general - i still think that that could be possible, unless there's evidence to refute that (in which case let me know)

BUT ANYWAYS. nikador. the titan of strife. phainon. strife... destruction... we already know 2 out of 3 paths of amphoreus, that being remembrance and erudition. and as for the third, we're being left in the dark in regards to that right now.

the reason we even know about amphoreus is because the garden detected entities capable of being/on the same level of power as emanators AND because akivili was never able to travel their themself. (the garden pays no mind to normal pathstriders)

others have theorized the third path to be destruction, which makes the most sense to me given how much we know. if not destruction, then finality (you get it, hopefully) or enigmata OR elation (since amphoreus' existence within the cosmos had not been previously detected, so i assume there's some weird shit going on making that way. so yeah)

anyways, back to destruction, the amount of gold imagery and detail phainon has with him, not to mention that literal scene of him splashing gold liquid onto his chest, and him seemingly being the one to inherit the coreflame of strife (which i do not actually think he will, im so fucking sure something will happen and mydei will actually take it)

there are so many damn references to nanook the destruction just from him in general. plus the prophecy and regarding amphoreus' impending doom. with that being said, i definitely do think there's more to him, of course (he's a kevin variant, i mean, c'mon now)

he might be one of the entities the garden noticed - leaks mentioned both him and cyrene are possible emanators. emanator of destruction phainon?????????

BUT BUT BUT ALSO. PHAINON. KEPHALE. COME ONNNNN

i don't know anymore man. whatever. i hate him. moving on

ANAXA!!!!

i do not get how some people will still try to claim how he isn't a su variant???? like What. are we looking at the same dude

sure, their hair colors aren't completely the same, but so what? there's a shit load of other things in regards to similarities between them.

with the su/sa variant universe, there's them (su & sa), of course, and then there's vita and anaxa.

anaxa uses a gun..... su & star of eden...... anaxa leaked to have a tree in his ultimate..... su & the seed of sumeru....... similar hair, similar eye colors, the ring anaxa has is practically the same as the tattoo/markings su had on one of his fingers...........

GROVE OF EPIPHANY. A GIANT ASS TREE. SEED OF SUMERUUUUUU

do not play with me.

anyways if you've read this far, i am now ordering you to go read the second key manga. yeah. you heard me.

kevinsu tragic yaoi be upon YOU

it will never not fuck me up in regards to the implication that su kept a framed photo of kevin from their high school days that he said goodbye to everyday before work. bro. dude. man........ ok yearner whatever

#mya's thinking time #* leaks #hsr #honkai star rail #phainon #anaxa #phainaxa #kevinsu #i miss them dearly #please interact in hsr IM BEGGING YOUUUU #50000 years #im dead.

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christinebloodwrittings · 8 months ago

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Die in your arms #1

Alastor x Fem!Reader.

Warning: mentions of implied SA, imprisonment, murder.

July 1913. Manhattan, NYC.

The courtroom, with all those eyes staring, would make anyone tremble with anxiety. The jury of men in gloomy suits, whose faces you did not know and did not bother to remember, the judge with white hair and glasses perched on the tip of his nose, and the lawyer on the side of the people looked at you as if you were the worst scum in the world.

How distasteful.

The D.A’s office had taken the trouble to give you a new outfit to wear to court, with lots of layers and cream-colored ruffles. The last time you wore something so nice was when your parents brought you to a friend of the family’s house, for dinner.

The high neck of the dress was not tight, but given the heavy atmosphere and the nerves, it was as if a rope had been put around your neck.

"Your Honor, my client has not a single criminal record prior to this incident. Her family in Denver reported her to missing persons five years ago, the police deliberately dropped the case after a week” he paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before watching your lip quiver, “After her father asked to do so" but you knew that already.

Incident, five years of imprisonment, and the attorney who is supposed to be defending you used such a weak word to describe it all.

Also, your father… it should have surprised you, but after everything he said before it all started…it really didn’t.

Before your attorney could actually begin to speak, the defense took his sweet time trying to make you look like a serial killer, a potential risk to the community.

“Miss Desmond, is it true that your commanding officer knows that you are the New York Smiler?” the lawyer asked, the jury having their sole attention on you. “No” the scoffs of the public at the hearing echoed in the room. “Do you consider yourself guilty of the twenty-two victims, murdered in between the years of 1910 and 1912?” it was only 1912, december, you remembered because there were christmas decorations on some houses.

“Twenty-one, and no, I did what was necessary to stay alive” at what cost, liberation? That one breath of fresh air felt like needles down your throat, and has brought you nothing but problems ever since.

“Twenty-one? There were twenty-two bodies at the scene” he placed a detailed record of the evidence found in the scene in front of the jury for all to read.

“When I left there was one that was still alive, since he was in no position to follow us, I didn’t do anything, I was the one to notify the ambulance about him” his kneecaps were shot with a gun, he would never walk again so it meant no harm at the moment.

Then, he continued to the one charge he could actually condemn you to, “Miss Desmond, did you or did you not fake an ID to enter the army?” your attorney nodded, giving you a pass to say the truth, given his strategy. “I did” he presented a photo of the woman of the original identification, “Who’s ID did you forged?” mercilessly, the memories flooded your mind.

‘Everything will be alright Y/n, just…’ she took a deep breath before caressing your cheek, ‘Do what they say, and no harm will come to you’ her bloodied hair stuck to her face as she smiled, teeth broken and red. “Martha Woodsman” her name burnt as it left your tongue, “Who is she?” you closed your eyes trying to remember a time when she was the most beautiful woman inside the facilities. Her creole accent and brown skin, along with the greenest eyes you had ever seen, she was idyllic.

“Was” you corrected, “One of the eldest women inside the brothel, I stole her ID and placed a picture of myself” you answered with the truth, your voice trembling and breaking as you did. “Nothing further” that lawyer had some mercy in finishing his questions after that.

"Do you understand, Miss Desmond, that if you lie while under oath, you risk being charged with perjury?" the judge reminded you. The judge had a cold and defiant attitude towards you from the moment he found out that the accused was a woman. He reminded you about perjury with the sole motive of saying ‘you are a woman so don't get emotional and tell the truth’ indirectly.

"Your Honor, I did plan the escape, down to the smallest detail, with the goal of getting out of that place without anyone getting hurt. The boss shouldn't have been there, I checked the schedule book three times before the escape." You were irritated, but you didn’t let his guts get to you. "If I had planned a murder of that magnitude, I would have admitted it from the start, they were bad men, but that doesn’t excuse ending a life like that, I didn’t plan to harm anyone that night" satisfied, yet adamant, he signaled to your defense to step forward.

In all, it took three sessions in court and at the grand jury, during which you spent the night in the cell of the police station closest to the courthouse. Three sessions that lasted about two weeks, telling the same story over and over again until someone could make up their mind.

"I understand that it's difficult for you, so take your time" Your defense looked at you as a victim, not as just another psychopath, it wasn’t a great help, his look of pity boiled your blood.

"I had been in brothels for a little over five years, in different places, although I didn't know exactly where, they blindfolded us and kept men with us, with guns" The weight and cold metal of a revolver barrel is a sensation that will never leave your skin.

"You and other women" matter of fact-ly directed himself towards you. "Yes" you tried to sound sad, not as nonchalant as you would hope. "How many would you say?" One hallway, five rooms, the red door always had more voices coming out.

"There were six of us in the room, but some time passed and two of them didn't come back. When I left I saw that there were more rooms so I guess more than a dozen" you managed to get 26 girls out, the red room was secured on the inside for some reason, so picking the lock resorted impossible, and when you thought you had cracked it, your boss came back through the main door.

Spotting you, red-handed.

"And those two who didn't come back, do you know what happened to them?" you shook your head, "Not very well, but I heard that the ones that aren't sold to other brothels are usually killed in front of the newer ones to set an example, but it may have been just a rumor".

"There were women of many ages, the youngest must have been about fifteen or fourteen" chained, with hands and legs to the wall. You watched as the youngest and newest ones entered trembling with fear, knowing there was only so much you could do for them.

“People of the jury, she’s no psychopath, she is a little girl who tried to escape her captors, a stray kitten who saw no other way than to scratch her abusers in self defense” ‘Oh call me kitten one more time’ you bit down, trying your very best not to give them even a smidge of anger to use against you.

“Miss Desmond, why did you join the army?” They had not asked themselves why, they had only seen the deception and identity theft. “Objection, relevance?” The defense tried to prevent your attorney from using a sympathy card, but the judge, tired of going over the same case over and over again, allowed it. Like the jury, he was curious as to why on earth a woman would want to enlist in the military.

“Overruled. Miss Desmond, answer the question” your answer left a few men in disbelief.

“I tried to join the police force to bring down the people in the brothel, but not only did they reject me, but also they didn’t believe me, so I thought the army would help me build my body to help others” ‘how noble’ you heard the judge mutter under his breath.

“You didn’t want anyone else to feel like a victim” speculative, that earned a misplaced objection. “No, I wanted to give the victims someone that would fight for them, some hope to survive” an executioner, someone that would cut the heads of the snakes for them.

The judge called both representatives to the chambers after they started arguing, faces far too close, fists tight and white, like two wolves showing their fangs in warning.

“She did forge an ID to enter the army” started the defense, "Forging an ID can be considered a misdemeanor, but my client did not do it for sinister reasons" continued your attorney. "And what do you suggest we do with your client, Mr. Davis?" the old judge sat, his eyes never leaving your over coloured form.

"Remand her to the care of her family, one foot outside will get her 35 to life in prison” a bunch of files were opened before the eyes of the judge, records of your family mostly. "Does Ms. Desmond have a family, a husband?" no husband, though there were men that tried to buy you for that purpose, you never understood why.

"A cousin in New Orleans, no husband” you shook your head at the thought of your cousin, you haven't seen him in years and now you were going to drop on his front door in shackles with a criminal record? “I don’t want to be a burden to my cousin”, you didn’t even know how he looked like after so many years.

“If you get a husband, it will be the same sentence, remanded to his care, one year” tied to a man that will have a sexual appetite, and probably demand that of you, hell no. Your attorney saw the hesitation in your face, “Y/n listen, either is this or a lifetime in the reformatory in Indiana, your choice”.

After what felt like half an hour, the jury had come to a decision.

“Does the jury have a verdict?” you closed your eyes, a bruising grip on your skirt as the leading man spoke, “We have, your honor”.

“On the charge of first-degree murder, how do you find?” the charge of planned manslaughter, “Not guilty” and how it hurt their pride to find no evidence of a planned murder. “On the charge of forgery, how do you find?” oh, that’s the one you would have to pay a few bucks to get rid of, “Guilty”.

After assuming that you would walk as a free woman, the judge proposed house arrest to the jury, “Gentlemen of the jury, do you agree with the solution?” instead of the fine that forgery would make you pay for the rest of your life and that you would not finish paying even after death, “Yes, your honor” now you were going to be imprisoned, again.

"Y/N Desmond, you are hereby remanded to your family’s care, you will be considered a flight risk, and your title as a soldier will be removed”

“This is an extraordinary measure, given that you freed more people than you killed, but as Mr. Davis says, one foot outside will resort to a lifetime behind bars, do you agree to this?” it’s not like you had any other option, “Yes your honor, thank you”.

The sound of the gavel was the last thing heard in that quiet courtroom.

You were assigned a nurse for your medical care, among other cares. Given the severity of your wounds and the time it took you to call for help in the army, several of them became infected or went from being a knife scratch to a deep cut.

The stitches made by the commander's assistant were not the best, so some dead pieces of skin had to be surgically removed and sutured. More than one or the other, you looked like the daughter of the mummy and Frankenstein, covered in sutures and bandages.

Not to mention the cut on your cheek from the first time you were forced to please a man, orally. The mobster took an awfully big liberty in permanently scarring your face, which is why he was never allowed back in.

The train and ferry ride was long. At night you couldn't really appreciate the scenery, much less being handcuffed and delivered to your cousin's door without warning.

Finally, the police car that picked you up at the port stopped in front of a two-story brown house. In the darkness of the night, and with it being the new moon phase, there wasn't much you could make out of the image.

A police woman delivered a few punches to the front door, immediately attracting rapid footsteps from the inside.

“Howard Desmond?” she asked, suddenly Howard was paler than he already was. “Yes, is there a problem, officers?” A tall man, with short, ebony-black, tattered hair, dressed in an old, smelly nightgown, as if he had never washed it, appeared through the door.

"Your cousin, Y/n Desmond, is under your legal care for one year, the details are written here" he slammed a thick file against his chest, before pushing you inside "We'll be monitoring from time to time, just to make sure the sentence is carried out" he released the iron grip of the shackles and walked out the door.

“Thank you, uhm, good night officers” Howard said goodbye, absolutely sleep deprived and shocked. Though that would be an understatment.

“Y/n, what the hell?” He wobbled a little, but after processing it for a second, Howard ran to hug you. The embrace was something you longed, every fiber of your being wanted to remain in his arms until your flesh dissolved.The sudden pins and needles that his strength against your wounds provoked was everything but comfortable, but to be cared for just one second, you could bear with it.

“What happened?” cold rushed by your body the second he stepped away, he glanced at the file for a second, “I can’t summarize five years of shit in a couple sentences” that came out shaky, more than you expected.

“How did the jury find you?” you rested your back against the wall, finding some comfort in the cold surface, “Not guilty for first-degree murder, but guilty for forgery, thank god they oversaw the identity theft charge” he was appalled, not understanding a single thing and making movie about you being a mastermind of crime in his head. You rolled your eyes and pointed to the file they gave him, “Like they said, read it, may I have some water?” from the table next to the coats he took a small pair of glasses, his face became paler as he read the reports. “Of course” he sprinted towards the kitchen whilst reading and muttering ‘oh goodness’ as he went.

Meanwhile you took it upon yourself to wander around the living room, specially to the picture frames on top of the fireplace. His graduation, marriage - she was pretty, maybe too pretty-, then Howard in front of a building with a glass and lots of happy people - maybe a grand opening?-.

His pacing sound made you turn around, the silence as he handed you the glass of water was sepulchral. “Wow, you own a business? Swell” an ice breaker, not a very good one, because he didn’t seem to un-glue his eyes off the pages.

“Twenty-one?” he breathlessly asked, either in disbelief or pride, you weren’t sure, his tone didn’t match the smile on his face. You nodded, saying something would be redundant, given that your confession was on the report, signed by you.

“And a nurse will be coming to my house to tend to your rehab?” Multiple injuries that worsened over time, bones that healed poorly, rehabilitation and physical therapy was the only option the doctor gave you to heal completely. You thought it was incredibly invasive, but they promised you a woman nurse to aid you, so in order to heal, you could bear it.

“It’s already paid for” Howard felt his knees buckle at the sudden information, he hadn’t seen you in years and you show up with this kind of situation, money wasn’t the problem. “You know that’s not what I mean” with that he meant perhaps what kind of people the crime committed could attract.

“Look, I didn’t want this to happen, my parents aren’t an option and I don’t have a husband, please” begging to stay somewhere safe for a year wasn’t on your plans, but for the sake of not being thrown in jail for the rest of your life, you could lower your pride enough.

This time, willingly.

“Did you get them all, or?” The disagreement look you gave him was enough of an answer.

Howard was going to ask about your possible luggage, but noticed that you only had what you were wearing, the cream-colored ruffled dress from the trial. Thinking out-loud he began to make a list of needs, “I’ll have a modiste come tomorrow, also I’ll hire you a tutor so you can learn some basics” he spoke of shoes, undergarments, cooking books, he wrote everything so he wouldn’t forget.

“Sweet lord” he exhaled, gathering some thoughts, “You want…some alcohol, food?” you shook your head, “I’m not very hungry, the train got me a bit dizzy” he left the note with the file and his reading glasses on the table near the door, “Then, rest, we’ll figure stuff out in the morning” he took the empty glass off your hands, after putting it down in the sink he made his way to the stairs.

“Howard th-” he cut you off before you could finish your sentence, “Don’t even mention it, not until you are thoroughly okay” with that he disappeared upstairs, the sound of a door closing the last you heard.

---

Stay tuned.

Taglist open: @littlebluefishtail @maxlynn17

#hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #alastor the radio demon #radio demon #hazbin alastor #hazbinhotel

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fairlyang · 1 year ago

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Ghostie III 🕷️

the beginning of miguel's obsession with you, he plays with you, & normal couple things

w/c: 3.8K

pairing: ghostface!miguel x f!reader

tags: 18+ smut. mention of murder, SA, dark web, blood, stalking. Instantly obsessed, jerks off, grinding, slight dry humping, marking kink, oral (f!receiving), exhibitionism mention, unprotected sex (don't do that), breakfast in bed, slight fluff, grocery shopping together, fluff (for funsies)

part one ~ part two

Miguel didn't exactly plan on going on a killing spree if anything he was trying hard not to, but some people pushed him over the edge and he was slowly losing his sanity.

He'd been a savior for a few women in the past, he once walked around the streets late at night when he heard yelling coming from an alleyway and he ran to go help. Some drunk men were groping and sexually assaulting a young woman.

He luckily was able to help her and after a good two months he got enough information about them, making sure they'd never do it again.

After he killed those three men, he told himself that'd be it. There was no evidence that'd lead the cops to him. Everything went perfectly and his new become friend, Grace, was relieved that those men won't be bothering other women but not knowing he was the one that killed them.

He told her she can sleep peacefully now and that she'd be safe. He kept telling himself that was it, that he wouldn't cover his hands in blood again.

That was until he noticed just how many awful and terrible people were freely roaming around the streets of his neighborhood, the absolute worst of the worst.

So after the first time, two weeks passed, he had found information on tons of people and had a strict day to day schedule on who he'd kill each day, what time, where, and how. He didn't think he'd get so invested on making sure to put an end to all these fucked up people.

It's like he couldn't help but want to take down all the shitty people he'd find out about. He'd go on the dark web and find different chat rooms where people would talk anonymously about the bad people in their life.

It took him a while to find people letting out their frustrations and concerns that were near him. He somehow ended up stumbling across sites for the movie series 'Scream', he found out it had a lot of crazed fans talking about how they'd be Ghostface and how or who they'd kill.

People went on in graphic detail and he was shocked he hadn't stumbled across it before. Some of the things were more calm, some saying how they wish they could be a victim like Sidney or some saying they've had dreams of being like Billy or Stu.

He wasn't a big of a fan like some fanatics out of there but he did appreciate the attention to detail in the movies and especially loved the intro scenes with the first girls. Just that alone had given him the idea to use the ghostface mask when he first started.

But some were unlike others, yours specifically stood out to him as you wrote about how badly you wanted to be used and played with by a Ghostface killer. He was drawn to the way you worded your biggest fantasy, the way you went into such specific detail of how you wanted everything to be done, what you'd do, how you'd seduce him...

Wanting to read more about this intriguing scream obsessed fan he went on to your page and found dozens of confessions. He couldn't contain his excitement and spent hours reading them all carefully and even reread his favorites.

He was slowly growing obsessed with this stranger not able to help the way his cock twitched under his sweatpants reading your posts, and quickly searched for your IP address, needing to know more about you, where you live, what you looked like.

He groaned when he saw you were using a VPN but found a post where he ultimately was able to find your address in a few seconds. He searched it up on google and felt so happy when he saw that you only lived fifteen minutes away from him.

He forgot all about his schedule of the next week and focused on a new plan, a new plan on how to find you on a day to day basis. He needed to know everything about you, where you studied, who were your friends, family, where you worked, if you had a boyfriend....

That last thought alone was enough to anger him and he groaned, fists clenching. Oh how fast he'd take care of it if you did have one.

He quickly found your socials including a twitter account and a public instagram. He went to your insta first, eyes immediately widening and his head falls back against the sofa cushion. He puts a hand on his bulge, lightly stroking it, his teeth lightly tugging on his bottom lip as he admired how pretty you are.

He knew he'd be attracted to you no matter what, but you being just his type was insane. It's like he was meant to find you.

He looked through all the posts you had up, only four but they all had multiple pictures which was very helpful for him and his hard cock. He clicks on a bikini post and immediately groans, zooming in on the picture looking at the sultry look you posed as well as how perfect your tits looked, and how pretty you looked on your knees, your thighs looking so fucking perfect.

That was the first time he came looking at your pictures, it wasn't the last time either. He'd stroke his cock looking at all your pictures more than he'd like to admit.

He ended up doing some more investigating on you and found you went to the nearby community college with a few of your friends.

And on the boyfriend aspect he was happy to find out through your tweets that you were recently single after a two and a half year relationship with a dickhead that cheated on you with more than one woman.

The fact that he would cheat on you was mind blowing to him and Miguel was already thinking of the ways he wanted to hurt him but it not being his first thought. His first thought was needing to see you in person.

He didn't know how, maybe look at you from afar at a grocery store? Maybe peep outside your bedroom window? Follow you around for a day? No, you're a scream fan surely you'd figure out you were being watched....

He sighed and tried to think of any possible excuse he could go see you that wouldn't make you suspect him of anything. He decided to go with the grocery store plan, but now needing to know when you go, he wrote down your address and thought of maybe watching over you for a bit, just to learn your schedule and know when's the exact day or time you go buy your groceries.

He felt himself become insane in a whole different manner, now instead of wanting to kill, he wanted to protect and obsess over a complete stranger he practically fell in love with at first accidental sighting.

He was already beginning to think of how he could make your biggest fantasies come true, he was already ready to make you the happiest girl possible.

I heard a knock on my window which made me jump but as soon as I saw just a glimpse of the familiar mask I couldn't hide the grin that appeared on my face.

I quickly got up from my bed and ran to the window then unlock it. I swing it open and step aside waiting for my new favorite visitor to come in.

"Y'know you don't exactly have to put on the mask when you come over anymore." I tease as he climbs in.

He stands in front of me and takes the mask off and shows off a wide grin, "well what would be fun in that?"

I shrug and give him a grin back, "maybe to not scare the shit out of my mom if she ever catches you...."

He scoffs and wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him as I wrap mine behind his neck, "wouldn't be the craziest thing in the world considering you have a scream shrine." He teases making me scoff.

"It's not a shrine-"

"Nena, half of your room looks like it belongs in those chatrooms you're in." he teased once again making me glare at him. (Sweetheart)

"You can't say shit about that though since you were on them too!" I said in defense but he just laughs and pressed my body against his, bringing me in for a hug.

"And good on me for finding them otherwise I would've never found my favorite girl." He says making my heart melt.

I move my arms and wrap them around his waist as I listen to his heart beat slightly racing. Crazy, mines doing the exact same.

"I was thinking what if we recreated my grand reveal?" He murmurs making me laugh.

"What miss that day so bad?" I tease and he chuckles.

"Maybe... let's not forget Ryan spoiled my original plan." He replies and I gasp.

I pull away from him and look up, "what was your original idea?"

He laughs and walks over to my bed plopping down before patting the spot next to him which I happily comply to and jump onto my bed then sit next to him.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I lay my head against his chest. "Alright so I'll start off by saying I simply couldn't wait to see you so I purposely went to the diner so you could see me-"

"And thus it technically wasn't Ryan's fault.... In other words, you ruined your own reveal." I say and look up at him as he looks down and rolls his eyes at me.

"Alright fine, maybe I ruined my own reveal but how was I suppose to know he would find me-"

"Well you found me easily.... He found you in a couple minutes by just using face recognition..." I say trying to fight off my laughter.

"Anyway. You, I think were on your back, and I was under your bed waiting for the perfect moment to pop out. I was going to climb on top of you and have my knife against your throat." He admits making me hum.

It is incredibly sad how fast that turned me on.

"I was then going to grind myself against you and remind you of the dirty things you were doing for me the night before." He whispers softly and I nod, putting a hand on his chest and laying my cheek against it.

"I just wanted to see your reaction, the look in your eyes, and hear the first words you would've said to me." He says and traces along my arm softly while his hand moved strands of hair out of my flushed face.

"I knew you'd get excited right away since you specifically said you wanted to be manhandled and thrown around like a rag doll." He murmurs as his hand trails along my jawline gently.

"Wanted you to feel how hard you had me, how I was already wrapped around your little finger before we even officially met." He purrs sending a shiver down my spine and makes me subconsciously squeeze my thighs together.

I felt my breathing getting heavier and I just knew he was taking notice or more like he was doing this on purpose to get a reaction out of me. But I didn't mind.

And he was already starting to read me like a book, which I also didn't mind.

My thoughts get cut off when I feel Miguel slip his hand down my thighs, lightly squeezing the right one then the left before he just rubbed circles against my skin.

"You're so fucking pretty." He whispers and leaves a kiss on my forehead.

He's truly the sweetest.

"Y toda mía." he says and brings his hand back up to cup my jaw, before leaning in and leaving a peck on my lips. (And all mine)

I peck his lips back and he just smiles then leans his forehead against mine. "Toda mía verdad mami?" He asks and I nod. (All mine right)

"Nomas tuya." I confirm and climb onto his lap, his hands already found their to my hips, pressing me down against him. (Only yours)

I bite my lip and move my hips against him, slowly grinding on him. He lays his head back onto the pillow and watches, along with helping me move.

He then decides to let me go which has me pouting for a solid second before he grabbed my hands and intertwined our fingers. The butterflies in my stomach were going insane and my face was burning hot.

How someone could change my life in under two months even though we met through the drastic way ever, was truly beyond my understanding.

Even if we met in "normal circumstances" I still felt like we'd have this strong bond, we had a lot in common and our personalities matched perfectly.

Maybe what one might call soulmates or just the phrase "meant to be" but I was so ecstatic nonetheless.

I then am knocked back into reality when Miguel flips us over and he's now on top of me. I smile and he gives me one right back before bringing his hand down to kiss my neck but soon enough just leaving some new marks.

I sigh and tilt my head back while I bring my fingers up to play with his hair. I felt my eyes flutter as he left new love marks all over my neck to replace the ones that were already fading.

One of his hands went down and started toying with the hem of my shirt but then brought it up my stomach and left it there. He pulled away from my neck and started bringing himself down between my legs.

I spread them wide enough for him to fit when he leaves the softest of kisses on my inner thighs making them shake in anticipation. He then wrapped his arms around my thighs, squeezing the skin as he started to gently suck on my inner thigh.

He's grown to love leaving marks anywhere he can, where people can see them, where only he can, the places he loved the most. He used any excuse under the moon to claim me as his.

Which again I didn't mind, as long as I was able to do the same.

Especially after I connected the dots that my best friends were drooling along with me for the same man, but I was the one that was living rent free in his head.

But still I almost felt like jealous of other women just looking at him, I couldn't bare the thought of other thirsty people like my friends looking at him like how we looked at him.

Them doing it is fine, none of us knew he was my secret ghostface, they still didn't know because i didn't have the guts to admit I fucked our town's killer. But hey he stopped just for me so that's the good news in that.

All they knew was I was getting treated really good in all aspects and that's all they had to know. Plus the so called love bites all over my body prove it.

He pulls away from my thighs and drops down, quickly taking my little thong off and throws it behind us. He settled between my legs and spreads them more before diving straight in.

I moan and immediately grip on to his hair, bring him as close as possible to my pussy. He looks directly into my eyes as he sucks on my clit, one of my weaknesses.

I very quickly learned what I loved the most when Miguel would have his way with me. The first being how vocal he would be, how fast his mood changes, the eye contact, and how down he was to try new things.

Just last week he fucked me in a forest wearing his ghostface attire, was probably the hottest thing we had tried next to when he made me sit in that shed we had in the backyard and watch him jerk off in my room.

He wanted me to see the torture he was in for months while I only had to do it for an hour, I couldn't stand it. He looked so fucking good and those moans on that specific day keep me up at night by how perfect they were.

"Miguel-" I moan and wrap my legs around his head, in a way trapping him there.

He moaned against my pussy making me whimper and tug on his curls harder. "Just like that baby- fuck! always making me feel so good." I cry out and buck my hips forward needing even more.

He wraps his arms around my thighs as he laps his tongue against my folds then teases my hole with the tip of his tongue. "Amor por favor- te necesito tanto." I whine and pout making him give me a wink. (Love please- I need you so bad)

I whimper and try to buck my hips forward but he holds me down, "fuck-"

I then see him buck his hips up and pull his sweatpants down along with his boxers. I smiled then quickly moaned at the sight once he started to grind against the mattress. Holy fuck-

"Mmm Miguel~ no pares por favor-" I moan and close my eyes, laying my head onto my plush pillow as he continues devouring my pussy. (don’t stop please)

I feel my orgasm build up in my abdomen as he continues thrusting himself onto the mattress. Him doing that was leaving me an even bigger mess. Can he get anymore perfect?

Suddenly he pulls out making me spill out whiny little pleads as he lifted himself up and climbed on top of me. He lifted my legs up and spread them wide before pressing them back.

He gave me a look and I immediately took hold of my legs as he was teasing my poor hole with the tip of his already hard cock. "Miguel no juegues conmigo- te necesito tanto por favor ya-" (don't play with me- I need you so much please go-)

And he slammed into me without another word. We both moan as he let me adjust for a solid second before pulling back and slamming right back into me again. "Fuck!!"

"Pobrecita, me necesitabas tanto mami?" He grunts and I nod, letting out whimpers as grips onto my legs to help him pound into me. (Poor girl you needed me so badly?)

"Siempre te necesito-" I mutter and give him a smile before he starts going faster, thrusting his hips into me. (I always need you-)

He groans and starts pounding into me leaving me a whimpering mess as I tried my hardest to keep quiet. But as always he didn't care and always wanted me to be heard. So everyone knew who I belonged to.

"No te calles ahora nena-" he moans out and rolls his eyes back, "Mmm quiero que tus vecinos nunca se olviden a quien perteneces." he groans making me clench against him. (Don't shut up now baby girl- I want your neighbors to never forget who you belong to)

"Oh fuck!! Miguel- mmm Miguel soy toda tuya-" I cried out and felt my legs begin to shake. (I'm all yours)

"Yes you fucking are." He murmurs and fucks me deeper but slows down.

I then feel my orgasm nearing with every thrust, and I cried out for him, "Miguel! I'm gonna-"

"Cum for me pretty girl- be my perfect girl and cum for me." He moans and with one final deep thrust I felt him fill me up as my orgasm hit me like a ton of bricks.

I was on the verge of tears as my legs violently shook and I was completely breathless. Holy shit-

He was breathing heavily as he went down to kiss the back of my leg. I whimpered and clenched against him making him sigh. He then helped me bring my legs down and then slowly pulled out of me.

All his cum leaked out and dripped down to my asshole but I wasn't really thinking about that. He laid down next to me and wrapped his arms around me gently. I melted into his touch and closed my eyes, letting him embrace me as my breathing calmed down.

"Love and adore you more and more every day my perfect girl." Was the last thing I heard before I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to the spot next to me empty, it always made me sad how he usually slipped out when I fall asleep because he didn't want to get caught by either of my parents leaving in the morning.

But then I hear footsteps coming closer to my room and I wipe my eyes before letting out a yawn as my door opened.

In comes Miguel with a tray of food and I gasp, a smile forming on my face as he grins and walks over to your side of the bed. "You stayed." I say and grin up at him as he sets up the legs of the tray on each side of my legs.

"How could I not?" He says and pecks my lips softly before taking a seat by my legs.

He grabs a strawberry from the bowl and plops it into his mouth before picking up another and brings it to my mouth. I open my mouth and gladly take it, savoring it's sweetness before cutting up a piece of the mini waffles he made. "You're the best boyfriend ever yknow?"

He grins and shrugs, "only for you mami, now until forever."

My heart melts and I stare at him lovingly as I take the first bite of the waffles. "Forever." I say and grab his hand making him intertwine our fingers together.

"Tráeme un paquete de chorizo y queso fresco porfis!" I tell Miguel as I pick up some fresh veggies and he just nods, was about to head off when he looks over at a cucumber and nudges me. (Bring me a pack of chorizo and fresh cheese please)

"Me dio una idea....." he whispers into my ear and I just scoff and slap his shoulder playfully. (I just got an idea....)

"No empieces con tus tonterías aquí de todos lados." I whisper fast and stuff some bell peppers into a bag. (Do not start with your dumb shit here of all places)

"Porque?" He whined making me roll my eyes. (Why?)

"Ya sabes porque. Estamos en la calle..." I say and he smirks. (You know why. We're in public...)

"Eso no dijiste la última semana.." he says and I gasp, slapping his arm and glaring at him. (That's not what you said last week..)

#miguel ohara #miguel ohara oneshot #miguel ohara smut #miguel ohara imagine #miguel ohara x reader #across the spiderverse #spiderman #miguel spiderman #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara x y/n #Miguel o hara #miguel o #ghostie

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irrealisms · 9 months ago

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svsss and sexual violence pt. 3: non-bingqiu sexual violence

standard disclaimer at the beginning: i am not saying that this is the Only thing svsss is about, or that other readings are invalid; i am not intending to character-bash most of the characters here (while i will freely admit to thinking e.g. old palace master or qiu jianluo are pretty one-dimensionally shitty, lots--probably most--of the characters in this series who i mention as perpetrating SA are characters who do have depths & who i in fact like a lot! despite this meta, or perhaps because of it, my second-favorite character is luo binghe, and i am in fact a bingqiu shipper!); and, obviously, huge fucking CW for sexual abuse and adjacent topics. this section is about 2k.

(also: shoutout to @rooses40stepskincareroutine for motivating me to actually write all this out!)

TABLE OF CONTENTS pt 1: shen yuan's realization of himself as a target pt 2: gender and homophobia pt 3: non-bingqiu sexual violence (you are here) pt 4: shen qingqiu's body pt 5: we live in a society

so, in parts 1 & 2 i talk a lot about bingqiu as a site of sexual violence & shen yuan as a victim. but to establish that this is a theme of the book as a whole i want to talk more about the sexual and sexualized violence done and experienced by other characters! this one will be broken into a few subparts lol

volume 3, chapter 16

one of the things i noticed is that a lot of this ramps up all in the same chapter--in chapter 16 of vol 3 (i'm working with the official translation; in the web novel this is chapters 59-63, and I don't know which parts are in the same vs different chapters), we get four different references to sexual abuse of/by different characters, of varying levels of explicitness. some of these, on their own, i wouldn't necessarily take as evidence of sexual abuse, and i don't necessarily stand behind all of these as definitive proof of sexual abuse for the characters on a fully watsonian level--but to have four references, all incredibly close together, after spending a lot of the book on scenes of sexual assault and sexualized violence, is not an accident of writing, either. this is supporting my take of svsss as broadly concerned with sexual violence, as a text.

the first two happen at the same time, and are the most explicit: old palace master.

No wonder the Old Palace Master had always been so good to Luo Binghe, to an almost unsettling extent. No wonder that Su Xiyan, despite being his most beloved disciple, had held absolutely no attachment to Huan Hua Palace and had readily betrayed her sect to run off with a demon youth without ever looking back. This “love” must not have been much different from molestation. And the Old Palace Master’s favorable interest in Luo Binghe was definitely founded in the shade of a former beloved disciple that the sect leader had seen in him. He had extended his perverse possessiveness of Su Xiyan to Luo Binghe, deluding himself into thinking he could groom Luo Binghe into an obedient darling child.

it is IMO explicit text from this (and from what we hear later of Old Palace Master, Su Xiyan, and Tianlang-jun) that Old Palace Master groomed, raped, and generally sexually abused Su Xiyan. It is also explicit text from this section and the section surrounding it, in which Old Palace Master looks at Luo Binghe like he would touch him if he had hands and talks about how he looks like his mother (there's feminization as a site of sexual abuse again!) and SQQ thinks about how OPM was unsettlingly doting on LBH and that he was "thinking he could groom Luo Binghe", that OPM wanted to sexually abuse LBH in the same way.

It is not canon whether he successfully did sexually abuse LBH in the same way, but, well... I observe that (a) Luo Binghe was part of Huan Hua Palace for a while post-abyss (b) after SQQ's death, Luo Binghe makes OPM into a human stick, which in PIDW he does to SQQ--his abuser (c) OPM comments on LBH looking most like SXY "when his eyes are closed", and it's not like he would have been lacking in access to asleep LBH while LBH was his ~beloved disciple~ at huan hua palace (d) SQQ, known Most Oblivious Man Alive who is terrible at identifying when people are sexually attracted to each other & thinks that LBH (both versions) is Immune To Abuse Probably, after, like, a page of seeing OPM interact with LBH (who isn't even conscious for it), is going "OPM groomed LBH". It's not conclusive, but it's really fucking suggestive. At the very least, he extremely textually really wanted to rape Luo Binghe. We've got some Unsettling Implications going on in there!!!

the third implication in this chapter is Qiu Haitang, witnessing Shen Jiu's past:

“It’s not possible… Not possible…” she said, her lips trembling. “It’s fake! It’s all fake! It wasn’t my brother. My brother didn’t do anything wrong—it couldn’t have been him! You’re lying!”

now, on its own this isn't obviously sexual, and whether the Qiu Jianluo-Shen Jiu relationship was sexually abusive at all is something that is left ambiguous through the end of the book, and which I will discuss further later in this post. But this is a major reference to that relationship, which is...well, whether it was sexually abusive was ambiguous, it's not an unambiguous "no" either. this is my weakest point of the four IMO but put next to the others i don't think it's nothing.

the last implication in this chapter is actually from Tianlang-jun, and it's one I haven't seen talked about at all:

“Peak Lord Shen, don’t forget, your immortal body was in our hands for no short amount of time,” Tianlang-Jun replied, his words quite suggestive and teasing both. “There’s really too much we could have done.”

this is in the context of having forced him to drink demon blood while he was unconscious--something that luo binghe did earlier in the book in a very sexualized manner, which was both emphasizing the threat of sexual assault and deliberately analogous to being sexual assault (it's a very literal, physical violation of autonomy). and TLJ is insinuating (suggestively!) that they could have done more, that they had SQQ's unconscious body for a long time, that they could have done anything with it. his words quite suggestive. again, i don't think we have an unambiguous "TLJ raped SQQ" here; i'm not sure if, on the watsonian level, I think that he did? but certainly we have strong implications and threat of sexual abuse. which, again, we are getting a LOT of. right in a row.

qiu jianluo & shen jiu

okay, i said i'd come back to them, right? it is...never stated that shen jiu was sexually abused. i have read and enjoyed interpretations where he isn't, even. but he was, very much, a slave--someone who has to do whatever their master tells them or get punished. someone who is not allowed to say no. the history of slavery, especially when you look at people who were slaves to families instead of companies/factories, is very obviously full of sexual abuse. one of the word choices i'm not sure if i'm reading too much into is that it refers to the slavers as "human traffickers"--which is a phrase that can be and is used for a lot of nonsexual slavery (construction and agriculture have huge human trafficking problems) but in english it does also have very sexualized connotations such that the first thing most people think of wrt human trafficking is specifically sex trafficking (and the implementation of "trafficking" as a word is very racialized, and the combination of these is such that I generally prefer avoiding it altogether and using "slavery", but that's a tangent). and shen jiu, who is a slave being abused by his master...kills all the men of the qiu household, is afraid of men, and only feels safe around women. his master tries to marry him off when he's fourteen and this is one of the inciting incidents of him snapping and killing everyone! can you read this as "he was, as we see onscreen, being physically abused by qiu jianluo, a man, who didn't physically hurt him when he was around qiu haitang, a girl"? sure, i guess. it's not definitive. but....again, they tried to marry him off when he was 14 and unable to say no; even if it didn't happen, that is enough for me to say that the threat of shen jiu being forced into sexual relationships is present in the QJL-SJ relationship. much like OPM and LBH, it's...certainly extremely suggestive, even if it's not onscreened, especially when paired with the novel's overall themes. i'd also like to draw attention to the following quote:

“Gege, he’s so much fun! No wonder you purchased him even though you’ve always hated bringing in outsiders. I rather like him.” Young Master Qiu smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “I too like him very much.” Upon hearing the word “like,” Shen Jiu couldn’t help but shiver.

(there's also something to say about his relationship with how he's iirc somewhat afraid of men even before the Qiu family buys him, and how his position as a slave begging on the street was also a very high-risk one, and about how his relationship with Wu Yanshi is clearly pretty predatory on Wu Yanshi's part + Shen Jiu at that point has no other support system, but that's more speculative; and there's a quote that i think fits better with the point i make in the next part but which provides additional support for shen jiu as having been raped.)

@regicidal-optimism also drew my attention to another very specific word choice that i'm not sure if i'm reading too much into--

Having witnessed the incident in its entirety, Shen Qingqiu was stunned. Such a brutal first time!

and...this is about SJ's first time killing someone. but "a brutal first time" without specifying is...well, it's a very, very specific wording choice, which is (IMO) clearly evocative of the way people discuss sex.

bing-ge

man i have enough to say about bing-ge (mostly wrt svsss's themes of gender) that it could really be its own full post BUT most of that would be a ~tangent. i'm pretty sure "bing-ge is a violent serial rapist" is, like, uncontroversial and i don't need to get textual evidence there, but for exactly that reason i didn't want to fully leave him out of discussion about sexual violence? so instead in this section i mostly want to draw attention to something that @wolffyluna pointed out to me last month, which is a section from book 1:

The girl thought, “Since I’m about to die, I must leave behind some memories to ensure that my life won’t have been in vain. I don’t have many days left, after all, so I won’t suppress my feelings anymore.” Then, using her weak and fragile body, she pushed Luo Binghe down. Luo Binghe put up a brief show of resistance before telling himself “She did it all for my sake. I don’t have the heart to reject her final wish.” He yielded, still half-reluctant, and went along with it…

this is...not framed by Shen Yuan, or presumably by PIDW, as rape. but it is at the very least dubcon, and it's most likely rape. resisting someone who is pushing you down and trying to have sex with you before yielding, "still half-reluctant", is not. good consent. that's sexual coercion and assault at the very least. but because he's a man--the epitome of masculinity, even! the great stallion novel protagonist, bing-ge!--this is framed as him progressing, as him gaining a wife. which is...really, really horrifying, and once again Says Some Things about how Shen Yuan sees gender. i also recommend these posts which were linked to me today by @rooses40stepskincareroutine about bing-ge and sexual violence!

gender

this is another short section but: something i noticed while writing this up is that the primary unambiguous case of sexual abuse (other than, well, bingqiu, but bingqiu is more complicated for other reasons) is that of old palace master and su xiyan; and that, at the end, when a crowd is decrying su xiyan (for, in large part, having been abused by old palace master), misogyny is a major part of it, and (for obvious reasons) his attempt to coerce her into an abortion bc her child is by someone he sees as a romantic rival is ... a very historically female sort of abuse to experience. given how deliberate mxtx is with gender/feminization and its ties to sexual abuse in svsss, and on a less positive note how few female characters she has, i think the choice to make the one "this character was, unambiguously and repeatedly, molested/raped/sexually abused" a woman who is then subject to sexist victim blaming and entitlement to her body is probably a deliberate one.

#svsss #scum villain's self-saving system #meta #my writing

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holybibly · 3 months ago

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/moilele/779011791230484480/mentions-of-sicide-sa-mental-illness-the?source=share

See how that motherfucker playing victim now? They're the one that start a war yet can't even fucking finish it. What a fucking loser. If they know their life is miserable then they should shut the fuck up. They messed with the wrong bitch ffs.

So I can't read the post, but honestly I don't care. She was the one who started it all. Throughout that magical evening, and in fact throughout my blog's existence, I have never allowed myself to talk about people in that way.

Even in that post about the underage girl, it was all done in a polite and respectful manner, I asked several times to be polite and correct so as not to harm the child.

The fact that she continues to push the situation only shows her lack of maturity and inability to take responsibility for her words. I have provided evidence, explained everything in detail and, most importantly, I have done so in the context of the blog. I do not need to put it all out there for everyone to see, make scenes, throw tantrums, etc.

If a person cannot deal with what they have done, it is not my problem. In no way have I ever called for a witch hunt, I have never even asked you to protect me, because I believe that every person has their own mind and can make their own choices.

#sugar and sin #bunny questions

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k4txlulzz · 1 year ago

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(warning: this is a random late night rant y'all , feel free to not take this seriously its just my scrambled thoughts lol)

vanitas no carte fandom is a lot more chaotic than i remembered it to be😭guys what happened i just came back to see how the story progressed (BTW MY FAVE SCENES GOT ANIMATED SO WELL !! the eng dub is so good too)

okay so! vanitas is my favorite character and i truly think he has a good, selfless heart. but yk what? that kiss scene with him and jeanne keeps popping up in my head. but then i remember that if i consider that moment SA i'd have to consider ALOT more romance scenes in the story as that too and i just don't think there can be that amount of **intentional** assault scenes from the creator ?😭

folks have brought up the cabin scene and??? that just confused me. because i never even thought of that possibility while looking at the panels or the scene. people hate vanitas or vanijeanne or even jeanne because of this kinda stuff and . while im conflicted and even uncomfortable(the kiss scene specifically) i also believe that the creator would not make a character SA anyone like that and make it seem romantic. i see this as: if its shown to be cute or romantic and does not show negative mental consequences of the characters after the event, it was not **intended** to be assault. (edit: while vanitas is shown to be malicious in this scene, the incident gets brought up like once after and doesn't really turn into an obstacle in vanitas' and jeanne's relationship which is what made me think this) basically, if it's shown to be harmless, it was most likely intended as that. and i understand the issue with that one weird kiss scene, i don't like it either. its just that vanitas happened to be my favorite before i learnt all this and that made me try and look for an explanation or some sort of evidence that maybe this is a "suspend your disbelief" moment but i dunno. i just desperately don't wanna think that a character and one of the dynamics that mean a lot to me have gross, scary implications . the creator wouldn't write jeanne or vanitas to do something so horrible because those are some of the characters she wants fans to be invested in and that can't be done if those characters are assaulters😭 the kiss scene still does ick me though and i think the moment should have been done differently? in any case, i generally think that media literacy is something every fan needs to have. because otherwise we back ourselves into a corner and "criticize problematic stuff" ourselves into viewing every character as a terrible person who should not be liked

but then again, this IS just my opinion and, to be clear, i don't support assault being brushed off in any media

[edit 2: i also acknowledge that i may be leaning towards copium with this one but that doesn't mean i don't recognize the creator's attempt to create a complex dynamic and characters; i just feel like because of this one scene a lot of people hate vanitas and brush off his dynamic with jeanne entirely which is sad because they have a lot of stuff thats worth getting interested in. i just wanted to make it clear that this post is just me ranting about something and not meant to be taken as a proper analysis ^^🙏🏼 it has also been a while since i looked at VNC stuff and may have gotten a bit rusty. i acknowledge that SA may perhaps be a significant part of the storytelling in VNC but i don't really want to think about those moments for personal reasons and especially when it is shown to be done by a character that really does mean a lot to me:) i enjoyed reading the comments i got on this post and am genuinely quite grateful for them]

#vnc #vanitas no carte #case study of vanitas #the case study of vanitas #vanitas #vnc vanitas #vnc jeanne

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moony-2001 · 2 years ago

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Lore Olympus ep. 252 critique

Before all you stans get mad I generally thought this episode was pretty okay. But maybe that’s because not a whole lot happened.

Cassandra

So going in the order of events, first up is our favorite gal Cassandra.

Gotta say, already like her loads.

I don’t have a whole lot to say about her general existence, beyond the fact that it’s stupid that Apollo is using her as a walking incognito tab. My main criticism more lies around the idea of when did Apollo even meet her? He obviously couldn’t have met her during the time skip because there were no interactions allowed between realms during that time and he was kicking it in Olympus.

We also have no indication of when he actually met her post-punishment. There’s no definitive timeline for how far we are post-time skip, but by my estimation, we can’t be more than a month past when the embargo officially lifted. Idk I can already smell the mess that is this storyline a mile away.

The SA plot line

Holy fuck. I don’t exactly know what the hell Rachel is exactly trying to achieve with the SA plot line but I can tell you that the handling of it has been piss poor.

Uhhh... this is great and all except for the fact that Persephone never thought this. There is not one shred of evidence that Persephone ever liked or actually found Apollo handsome. Not even in the very early chapters. She didn't even say that he made her feel special. She said that she liked the way Hades made her feel. Hades made her feel special by grooming her but that's a whole-ass post on its own.

Even after her assault, she continued to express at minimum a clear discomfort for him in front of others and at maximum immense hatred for him when by herself or with only him. And now suddenly Rachel wants to flip the script? Why? What purpose would that serve? Why is she suddenly backpedaling on a plotline that was established within the first 25 episodes/the second day Persephone is on Olympus? The SA plotline is the longest-running and the "big bad" that has yet to be resolved. But now it only pops up when the story needs a little conflict or an extra boost to drive it forward. Plus now she wants to portray Apollo as this misunderstood ex-love interest/boyfriend with whom the audience is supposed to sympathize? It's disgusting. @genericpuff who I really need to stop tagging in these posts I'm so sorry made an excellent essay about how Rachel is burying the SA plot line that basically takes what I've said above and greatly expands it. Go read it, they made a lot of excellent points.

Melinoe

Ah yes. The mystery deity that was really Hades’ inner child/actual child all along!

So I actually had a conversation with another LO critic about how weird I thought this "inner child -> actual canonical child" pipeline was. Now, granted, I could be reading into this way too much but when I first read this, I honestly thought it was some kind of weird/unintentional representation of parents projecting their trauma onto their children.

We've seen this little ghost buddy in past chapters and a lot of people (myself included) thought that our ghost buddy was a representation of Hades' inner child. A little Hades if you will. And it was portrayed that way. We often saw our little ghost buddy/little Hades who was extremely traumatized by Hades' past experiences. The part of Hades that just can't let go despite what he may claim about "moving on" or "being better". But if this little ghost/Hades is actually their kid Melinoe, that means they saw everything that Hades went through. All his traumas, all his struggles. Everything. And now also with Persephone and her little jaunt through the mind-scape and the shit she saw. So now we have to recontextualize all of those scenes where Hades interacts with this being and tbh the scenes kind of become very ick? This is such a strange direction to take this particular storyline. Something about it just rubs me the wrong way and I don't know if it's my above complaint or something else.

But yeah. Pretty tame in comparison to some of my past posts and posts that will come. Until the next chapter and/or my next post.

#anti lore olympus #lore olympus #anti lo persephone #anti lo #lore olympus critical #lo criticism #lo critic #lo critical #lo hate #unpopular lo #unpopular lore olympus

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mentxlity · 1 year ago

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had a thought while doing aventurine's story in the latest penacony main quest and this might come off as controversial but i decided to let it out. After learning about aventurine's backstory (yes i did cry during his story), that one scene where his buyer said he looked good made me think aventurine could have been SAd, and others had also said so. Now when i come across smut fanfics of aventurine, it may not be canon that he has been SAd but even knowing that there was the slightest evidence of that, it feels so uncomfortable to read them. I may not be a victim but i feel that SA victims would be having trouble during intercourse because of the trauma recollection yet no smut or normal fanfic implies that. I feel like they dont because they want to make aventurine seem strong but there's still fragility in him its literally been said that he cant even fool himself and after the boss fight, he's going insane with the "why cant i be free too?" these were just my opinions and im not out to get anyone, just wanted to share my thoughts with whoever! on a side note, i love how penacony's story shows us that each of the characters actually have their own agendas so they're all not exactly on the same side. This makes them have that sort of realistic feel to them and its so beautiful, despite making me go crazy over who to trust or side with... as a lore enjoyer, i am being fed very well thank you hoyoverse!!!!

#mentxlity rambles #aventurine #hsr aventurine #honkai star rail

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tobbesdiscordkitten · 7 months ago

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hello, I am one of your mutuals but wanted to be on anon for this.

I took a paralegal program in college and studied criminal law. I have done my research on little michelle and shelia. although I don’t have access to tiktok I read many articles and this is what I think. 40+ years is a LONG time to wait to prosecute axl. If something happened in the 80’s there would be evidence at the scene. first, where is the evidence and if there was any, like dna it would be destroyed by now. I also read some where that axl originally rejected her because of her age at the time. nothing makes sense, it would be an open and shut case even now. finally, why, is she putting on tiktok bio what happened. That’s really bad, make it make sense. right now it’s he said/she said case with zero evidence.

I think she needs therapy and needs to learn to forgive axl, he gets so much hate he doesn’t deserve. he deserves children and a family 🥺😞

Hey, that's alright! I'm glad to still see you in my inbox ☺️

I agree. I'm not a big fan of digging up dirt from somebody's past, especially if it happened 20 or 40 years ago. I am, however, a big advocate for fixing things right away, ideally within a span of 10 years, if the victim needs time to recover and heal from traumatic events. But why even bother bringing it up now, in 2024, when it won't solve anything?

Michelle's best chance was filing a lawsuit against Axl in the '90s when both Stephanie and Erin did, but she didn't. Another good time would've been during the early 2000s when Axl was out in public and touring, but, again, she didn't. She's wasting her time and breath on him when she needs to be an advocate for survivors - educating people, raising awareness, and providing legal support to families of SA victims. She's focusing too much on one man when she needs to turn her focus to a larger group of individuals who share similar stories. That is what will make a huge difference, NOT taking Axl to court.

It also disturbs me how she puts everything on her TikTok bio. She wants to forever be remembered as the girl who was r*ped by Axl Rose, which is kinda sad because she could have the potential to change her legacy and be remembered as a strong leader/fighter for r*pe victims. Unfortunately, she wants the public, and her audience on TikTok, to see her as this fragile woman who is hanging on by a thread. Oh, the sympathy!

Which leads me to my next point that you mentioned earlier, she does need help. She needs to talk to a therapist, find coping mechanisms, learn to forgive the past, and move on with her life in order to help other people, as l've mentioned before. It would make her have a purpose in life instead of wallowing in her own self-pity. Axl learned to heal, why can't she do the same?

Michelle mentioned that she's speaking out now because of the lies she's read about her incident. But this just begs the question, had she not read those lies, or had Slash not written about her story, would she still speak out, or forever hold her silence? 🤔

Axl already talked about her story a long time ago, saying how she was crazy and ran out of his place, down the street butt-naked, not being able to remember her own name, probably because she was strung out on drugs. Yet, that's not the reason for her speaking out. It's because of Slash's book and what the other GNR members said over the years, not what Axl said.

Another question I have for Michelle is: how far long were you when you had the miscarriage? It seems she's only mentioning having a miscarriage because Erin had one, and I think - maybe - she's trying to fabricate her story so Axl can FOR SURE pay his dues 😒

I explained in another post that Michelle might be trying to "cancel" Axl or take him out of the music industry, but some people took my words out of context 😅 So, to clarify, here's why I think that might be her intention.

On Michelle's TikTok, she shared a news video about women, from four nonprofit organizations, who were "hoping to bring changes" to the music industry. There is a report they compiled called Sound Off: Make The Music Industry Safe and it's “being released as sexual misconduct lawsuits" that accuse "some major names" in the industry like “Danny Elfman and Axl Rose.”

four nonprofit organizations (left), Sound Off report (right)

Below are the women's goals they want to execute with this report:

"NDA's (nondisclosure agreements) are one of the many tools that the music industry uses to silence and suppress survivors."

Although Michelle isn't part of these organizations, she still supports the report, and I can't help but think that she's using her own voice, in a similar fashion, to try and take Axl out with her story.

I will always question the universe on why Axl didn't deserve to have a family and kids of his own. It's all he ever wanted, and it could've fixed him 😭

#cine has spoketh #anon #asks #answered asks #axl rose #axl gnr #guns n roses #guns n’ roses

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chaifootsteps · 1 year ago

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(long ask, sorry - there was a lot of unpack)

I read the fix-it fic (it's very cute and wholesome!) and looked at the comments expecting to see a few flames or people disagreeing with the premise, but it's an out and out dogpile in there.

it's so ugly to treat someone just writing a vent fic like that, & they must have been actively looking for people daring to criticize Viv given that there's nothing in the tags to suggest it

also like, one of the flamers being like 'how can you say Viv and Raph didn't handle the topic of SA well but still say people are entitled to like the episode or find it cathartic? if people like it and you recognize that, that proves Viv and Raph handled the topic well!'

which is like, no. that's not remotely what they were saying or how it works. they're just giving grace to people who got something out of it, but they still think the depiction and handling of the topic as a whole was bad themselves. being compassionate for someone else's take on media & their feelings doesn't objectively prove that take is correct, they're just making space for other opinions in a way a lot of these 'it was handled well, end of discussion' type people aren't

it's such an all or nothing, combative way of thinking about art, that if you dislike it you must also call everyone who likes it stupid or something otherwise it means you secretly recognize it's good or some nonsense like that. that and it's just populism - if some people like it that means it's objectively good. which is funny because usually we treat something everyone likes as just 'having mass appeal' not 'high art'.

but I guess when people get terminally online they assume the vote of the majority is correct - it reminds me of this one debate about something pewdiepie did (I think it was an edgy joke or something, I'm not interested in relitigating it, it's just an example) where one of his supporters claimed 'we've [already framing a constructed audience] already decided he's innocent because the amount of support/likes he got on a response to [insert controversy here]'. it's literally the logic/rhetoric of 'if the mob decides something is good, it's good' which is horrifying logic and has been used to justify any number of irl awful things. but I digress

you could just as easily argue it the other way - if someone likes the scene but makes space for criticism of it, does that automatically make the criticism right?

also like - there's so much evidence in those comments that people do not understand what SA is. like so many people have this conception that SA is the same as rape - like, unless there was penetration of some kind no assault happened. but like if you actually look at the legal definition of SA, multiple places define it as

1 did person A touch person B? 2 did person B not want to be touch and person A should have reasonably understood that? 3 then it was sexual assault

dragging someone into a room while they yell and plead and say no is sexual assault, even if they got away before they were penetrated. being set upon and kissed and groped by a crowd of people is sexual assault, even if they also were not penetrated (and given Blitzo's dialogue there it's doubtful)

Sir Pent was SA'd, Moxxie was SA'd

anyone who has been held down or groped against their will but was rescued or escaped was sexually assaulted. sexually assault can include rape, but it doesn't always

we desperately need better literacy around this, it's legit disturbing to see how many people will pull the 'well technically the show doesn't mock SA because [insert logic solely reliant on the idea that Sir Pent and Moxxie were not SA'd]'. & it's such a revealing line of debate because they know they can't argue whether or not the show is making light of sensitive topics (it absolutely is) so instead they do the internet thing of making the next argument - they claim no, this wasn't SA and demand people debate them on those terms instead. it's falling into their trap because the issue behind that is the one they don't want to talk about - that Viv does not know how to handle this topic with the slightest bit of sensitivity

(tangent but back when HB aired I didn't judge Stolas as harshly for the full moon deal mostly for the tone the show had set up, if that makes sense? I thought the show wanted us to understand that Stolas and most of the cast were all terrible people and that was the entire 'joke' of the show. that Stolas definitely did a bad thing but the show was more interested in dark humor and the audience just kind of had to meet it where it was at. when they started moving towards there being dramatic consequences in Ozzie's I still though the show understood Stolas was a bad person, only now they were actually paying off a dramatic plot point they'd set up so he would actually have to grow and change. Then season 2 happened and the show is insisting he never did anything wrong, he's perfect, etc. and everything that happened in season 1 looks way worse by comparison. it was already bad, but I thought the writers understood that. they don't. instead they've engaged in the most laughable, embarassingly written domestic violence storyline I think I've ever seen in any media, ever, just to get him off the hook for anything he's done. do I respect the opinions of people who find him standing up to Stella cathartic? yes. does that automatically mean those people are right and it's good writing, actually? no. hard no. a million times no. survivors of dv, especially male ones, are often starved of media representation. I want them to feel seen. it doesn't stop me thinking they deserve far better than being represented by a terribly written character like Stolas, who himself is accidentally the show's best representation of a convincing abuser, but that's a rant for another time)

also also, it's kind of annoying that A03 allows guests to post under any handle instead of assigning a random one, because now if anyone points to AyyLmao that it's unhinged behavior to try to police fics people post on the Organization for Transformative Works (the clue's in the name what fanfiction is for!) he can just claim someone tried to frame him, even if there's plenty of reason to suspect he would totally do that (some of the more hateful bigoted flames strike me as exactly that - going as far as possible with it to be able to turn around and say 'look how hard the Viv haters want to frame me! look how cartoonishly bigoted they make me out to be!'

this is so deeply bizarre to me. I've been in fandoms where the media in question is less than perfect and fix-its exist for entire arcs of shows and everyone else is happy to be like 'I see why you had a problem with this even if I think it was OK or not a big deal', or 'I don't see the problem at all but I'm just going to let you vibe like an adult would do'. and the same with character shilling fics, I'm old enough to know that the best solution for fanfic or transformative works you don't agree with is to just click off. but some HH/HB fans are actively out to create a high control group where any criticism must be policed. if I ever get annoyed enough by HH/HB to make my own vent fic, I'm posting it under anon and with comments moderated. I'm not interested in providing an open forum for people to send me hate for a show that is far from worth defending (and even if it was, who cares? they ought to be able to get on with their day if their fave show is so obviously above criticism)

last point, sorry for the rant - it's kind of laughable to me that the author in the comments provided a long, objective list of what Viv and Raph have been doing that anyone can check and all of which happened publically, because they did it publically, and I don't recall seeing many comments in that thread attempting to respond to any of it; it just got ignored. it's pretty funny they simultaneously want to act like Viv is the victim of unfair hate campaigns when she's actively cultivated a fandom that attracts people like them, who bully people to the point they fear making even the mildest critiques. like you want to act like Viv is some bullied saintlike professional, but can you imagine the showrunner of any much bigger TV show encouraging the worst elements of their fandom to the point that said worst elements think harassing an SA survivor in the comments section of a fanfiction where they process their feelings about how lousy the show is in handling SA, and trying to claim said showrunner is still a professional?

to repurpose a point Viv herself made, a professional would know that any show with more than a cult following will attract criticism. a professional would not encourage people like AyyLmao and Norry, they would shut that shit down and know to leave the writers of a fanfic a couple hundred people at most will see that's dealing with a topic sensitive to them, in peace

No apologies needed, it was an excellent ask!

It's absolutely insane that any of this happened. In all my years of moving through some pretty aggressive fandoms and seeing (and writing) some pretty contentious fics for them, never have I seen anyone dogpiled like this just for writing a small, intensely personal fix-it fic. It's just beyond disgusting.

#Anonymous #vivziepop fandom #hazbin hotel critical #viv stuff #actual blog post

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