#and i hear the name mikey and automatically react

[uwusenpaiuwu]

Sleepovers At The Baji Household feat. A Fed-Up Chifuyu

Summary: Chifuyu just wants to sleep, man, but Baji wants to be a jealous crackhead at 2 AM.

Pairing: Sano Manjiro | Mikey x Male Reader

Note(s): I had a little free time and wrote this. So, please enjoy! ALSO, to the anon that sent me a request a few days ago, I saw it and have it filed on my to-do list!!! I will definitely get to it as soon as I get a break in my schedule :)

"Chifuyu, ya wanna see some real discrimination?"

No. No, Chifuyu does not want to see what Baji means by 'real discrimination.'

Does he tell him that, though?

Yes, actually, because it's 2 in the fucking morning and, as much as he respects the other boy, he wouldn't put it past himself to smother him with a pillow after having his dream of cuddling with a sea of puppies suddenly destroyed.

Unfortunately for his sanity, Baji either doesn't hear him or, more likely than not, doesn't give a fuck, because he's already flopping onto his belly and whipping out his phone to do God knows what.

The dial tone that sounds from the speaker a few seconds later makes Chifuyu cringe, especially since it's only ever been a calm silence fit for a good night's sleep prior to Baji bulldozing through it with his absurd question. (At the very least, he's thankful that the latter has half a mind to keep the brightness on the lowest setting, otherwise, Chifuyu would have had to fight.)

On the far end of the row of carefully-laid futons, you shift in your sleep, eyebrows furrowing together at the noise. Rotating onto your side, you unconsciously reach for Baji, and just when he thinks you're being cute and trying to cuddle him, you smack him in the head.

Baji doesn't flinch, instead, takes his pillow and shoves it in your grasp to keep your unconscious self occupied, so that he can focus on getting through to the person who reuses to pick up (understandably so).

Releasing a frustrated groan after being redirected to voice mail for the fifth time, he dials the number again, muttering an impatient, "Pick up already."

Chifuyu feels sorry for the poor soul on the other end. He would've blocked someone following the first call, because again, it's-

The blond has to squint his eyes up at the digital clock on Baji's nightstand, which confirms that it's already 2:22 A.M, further solidifying the fact that he shouldn't be awake right now. And this also applies to the ever persistent first division captain, who insists on bothering who Chifuyu soon discovers is Mikey from the contact ID that flashes across the screen.

Why Baji is so keen on bothering him is a question he doesn't have the mental capacity to ponder over. The most energy he'll expend is to listen in when the call miraculously connects.

"What...?" comes a muffled voice from the receiver, tone laced in an irked grogginess birthed from a slumber rudely interrupted.

There's an absurdly loud, almost angry, roar of Mikey's name, one that has Chifuyu curling in on himself in a futile attempt to escape a sound that should be illegal at this hour.

But you know what else should be illegal?

The fucking whiplash Chifuyu gets when Baji's deep voice takes an abrupt 180°, switching from its normal gruffness to a squeaky, ear-piercing shrill as he screams, "I love you, love you, love you! Do you love me, too, Mikey-kyun~♡?!"

The room is dead silent.

Not a word. Not a murmur. Not a breath.

Just pure, unadulterated silence as both Chifuyu and Mikey process the words that hang in the air, permeating it with a goosebumps-inducing eeriness from having heard such a...a girly, overtly cutesy screech from Baji.

Then-

"What the fuck? He hung on me!"

Chifuyu opens his mouth, thinks better of reacting to the cursed scene he had the misfortune of bearing witness to, and promptly closes it.

Other people may have sleep paralysis demons.

But Chifuyu?

Chifuyu has Baji.

With both hands partially raised in prayer, he begs for the shenanigans to be over and done with.

They are not.

While his eyes remain closed in a last ditch effort to convince himself that it's all a bad dream, he hears a lot of grumbling happening on your side of the room, courtesy of Baji, who's scrambling around in search of...something. One quick peek reveals him fiddling with a phone - yours, to be exact, as evidenced by the distinctive phone charm of your favorite anime character hanging from it.

"(Y/n), wake up for a second," he hears him whisper. It takes a bit of prompting, until he's able to successfully rouse you enough from sleep to elicit any kind of response, which is, essentially, nothing short of an incoherent, slurred mess. Although, Chifuyu is pretty damn certain he heard you call Baji a 'dickhead' for the trouble.

Unperturbed, he continues shaking your limp form, coaxing you into wakefulness with, "Repeat what I tell you, and I'll let you go back to asleep. Deal?"

You squint your eyes at him, only able to make out a vague outline of his visage in the lightless room. "Promise?"

"Cross my heart, hope to die," he automatically responds with the same phrase he's become accustomed to saying whenever you two made a promise, something done purely out of habit, formed when the two of you were just kids and he wanted to get you to do something absolutely ridiculous either for him or with him. And just 'cause he knows you're more susceptible to complying if he does it, he also interlocks his pinky with yours.

"...Fine."

The approval is his cue to proceed, and it's as he's putting the phone on speaker that he turns back to a regretfully wide awake Chifuyu, mouthing a wordless, 'Watch.'

The phone rings, loud and clear, precisely once and only once.

"(Y/n), what's wrong?" It's important to note that even though Mikey still sounds tired as hell, his tone is much lighter, much happier really, than when it was Baji, which is an offense in itself to the said teen that's off to the side, attentively listening to the conversation unfold.

Then, it strikes Chifuyu, what Baji is trying to do, and fuck does it give him an instant headache.

Meanwhile, your mouth morphs into the dopiest of smiles with the pleasant surprise of hearing your boyfriend's voice, chest instantly overtaken by a warm fuzziness that never fails to make an appearance whenever he's involved. Sappy, you know, but it's true!

A light but firm nudge to your shoulder reminds you of your mission. It's too bad that, teetering along the edge of sleep as you are, the words Baji whispers are barely repeated correctly.

The initial phrase from before, the one Baji greeted Mikey with, is shortened to a simple, "You wuv I...?"

But, without missing a beat, you receive Mikey's confident reply of, "Mhm... I wuv you a lot."

There's a sleepy giggle then - a fucking giggle - before your voices drop to sweet whispers that the third and fourth wheels can't fully comprehend from where they are.

"Where the fuck was my 'I wuv you,' huh?!" Baji whisper-shouts, considerate of your conversation even when ranting and raving. "Shit, I would've taken a simple 'I love you,' too! I've known that bastard way longer than (Y/n), and this is what I get?!"

Okay. Toman's president answers his boyfriend's late night calls faster than he does anyone else's and openly expresses his love for him. So what? Chifuyu wouldn't exactly call it 'discrimination,' per se. 'Favoritism,' maybe if you wanna stretch it, but using as strong a word as discrimination, especially taking into account you two are dating; it's normal? Nah.

"You wanna say 'bye' to them? Mm. Baji and Chifuyu." A pause. "Fuyu, Mikey says 'bye.'"

"Bye, Mikey-kun."

The other person in the room waits, and waits, and waits, and when it's clear that there is no intention to address his presence whatsoever, Baji turns to Chifuyu with an almost scandalized expression, making wild gesticulations with his hands, clearly distressed. "See?!"

Blank blue eyes stare back at him, unblinking. Honestly, it's a common occurrence - Baji spiraling in a nonsensical rage - so it's easy for Chifuyu to block out the muted, jealousy-driven temper tantrum as he takes his pillow in both hands, raises it as high as he can, and-

Sigh.

-lets it flop right back onto his face.

He can't suffocate Baji. Shouldn't. Wouldn't. Couldn't. After all, they're best buds, meaning he has an obligation to put up with shit like this once in a while. (Plus, he'd probably get his ass kicked before he succeeds anyway. Totally not worth the beating.)

"Did you hear? Mikey said he wuvs me," he hears you drawl dreamily as soon as you hang up, sounding very close to clocking back out for the night.

"Yeah, yeah. Cute shit. Happy for ya, dude," Baji huffs. Thankfully, he sounds like he's in a similar state to yours, if the yawn that follows his sarcastic comment is anything to go by.

"...He soooo ignored you."

That warrants a punishing punch to the arm, dulled only slightly by the combination of the thick quilt you're swaddled in and the raven-haired boy's fatigue.

"I'll fucking throw you out right now, (Y/n). Don't test me."

"You won't."

"I will."

"Won't."

"Will."

The conversation gradually dies down shortly after, the exhaustion that took its sweet time getting to both of you having reached its peak with the help of the childish bickering. It takes 10 minutes, maybe 15, before two sets of light snores fill the room.

Finally.

Let it be known that there is a lesson to be learned from tonight's events. Really, there is. Y'know, something along the lines of 'Don't agree to a sleepover with Baji, if you plan on actually sleeping,' or whatever.

Alas, Chifuyu's consciousness fades before he realizes what it is.

~~~

"Mikey, be honest. Who do you love more? Me or-?"

"(Y/n)."

"But-"

(Y/n)."

"I-"

"(Y/n)."

Baji is only momentarily discouraged, sharp eyes glaring at the blond that lays his head on your lap after hi-fiving you. He didn't want to do this, but he's left with no choice.

"(Y/n) or Babu?"

From the way Mikey stiffens up, refusing to look at either him or you in the eyes, Baji knows he has him right where he wants him, has him torn between a cute face or a sweet ride.

"Oi! Don't pretend to be asleep! Answer the damn question! OI!"

(After hours of serious contemplation - even though you told him it doesn't particularly matter - it's revealed that, of course, Mikey loves you more. Babu just happens to trail behind as a very close second.)

[remmushound]

Curse of the Clan Part 40! @scentedcandlecryptid @selfindulgenz

They jumped. Leonardo squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his grip on his brothers so tight that his knuckles turned light and he could feel his own pulse pumping, faster and faster the longer the freefall went on.

“Leo!” Raphael called over the scream of the wind. “We can’t all pull our parachutes at the same time. I’m gonna let go so you and Mikey can pull your chutes.”

“No!” Leonardo gripped higher onto Raphael’s bicep. “D-don’t leave me!”

“I’ll be right below you.” Raphael reassured, “And Mikey will be beside you. Trust me.”

Leonardo looked into Raphael’s calm, cerulean eyes and Raphael stared right back at him. His eyes held nothing but the genuine, loving truth. Leonardo gripped tighter onto Michelangelo and forced his hand to let go of Raphael. Raphael drifted slowly away from them, smiling widely and giving a thumbs up to encourage his brother further. Leonardo swallowed a lump in his throat as he looked to the red-eyed Michelangelo, who gave another reassuring smile.

“On three!” Michelangelo said, holding up his free hand to grip the pulley. “One!”

“T...two…” Leonardo said uncertainly, moving his hand to match Michelangelo’s.

“Three.” The brothers said it at the same time as they both yanked on their pulleys that should have released their parachutes.

Nothing happened. The younger Hamato brothers looked slowly at each other, confusion turning to realization and then to horror. Leonardo yanked even harder on his cord, repeatedly tugging it harder as if that would activate the parachute. Still nothing happened for either Leonardo or Michelangelo. The box turtle audibly gulped.

“Raphie?”

Raphael drifted forward so his brothers could grab a hold of him again. “What happened?”

“Chutes don’t work.” Leonardo quivered. His heart hurt, like it had been driven through with a blade.

Raphael’s face paled. He reached up automatically to try his own parachute, which didn't work. Then he pursed his lips together tightly and whimpered before completely freaking out, waving his arms to yank his brothers tighter to his body and hug them securely so they couldn’t be separated no matter how hard the wind hit.

“Leo, right now would be a good time for a portal!”

Leonardo took the odachi from his carapace and traced it through the air below them the same way he always did with his mystic odachi. When nothing happened, he started to swing it harder.

“Mystic portal, mystic portal, mystic portal— why isn’t this working?!”

“LEOOOO!” Raphael spun on his back as the trees fast approached, keeping his brothers on the safety of his plastron and as far away from the ground as possible. Michelangelo and Leonardo buried themselves as deeply into their brothers' arms as they could manage, screwing their eyes shut as an imminent impact rang in their heads.

The crash came, but to their surprise it didn't hurt. They felt the sensation of hitting the trees and striking every branch on their way down, but no sensations of pain came through them. They hit solid ground and lay huddling together, still expecting an agony that never came. Michelangelo was screaming, but that wasn’t anything unexpected. Leonardo was the first to open his eyes. Awe tried to force its way through his heart attack as he witnessed a thin red shield covering him and his brothers, like a force field that practically radiated warmth and protection. The snow around them had burned and melted, but when the shields dropped, the chill was immediately.

“W-we’re alive?” Raphael asked, sitting up. He immediately began to shiver, wrapping his hands around his bare arms to try and keep what warmth remained.

Leonardo was used to the cold, but it still struck him like a brick; the brick was definitely made of ice. Michelangelo opened his eyes and finally stopped screaming as he looked around.

“Oh. It’s all snowy.” Michelangelo giggled, opening his mouth to catch a snowflake on his tongue.

“Raph!” Leonardo laughed, falling off of Raphael and into the snow to make a snow angel. “How’d you do that?!”

“Do what?” Raphael frowned.

“T-the shield thing!” Leonardo made vague motions, “The red stuff!”

“I did that?” Raphael looked at his arms and the remaining remanence of shield as they slowly disappeared.

“Did your powers change?” Leonardo asked.

“Did all of our powers change?” Michelangelo frowned as he looked at his weapon.

“I don’t know…” Raphael said softly, looking down at his weapons, “But we can figure it out on the way. We don’t have time to waste.”

“But how are we gonna find Donnie?” Michelangelo pouted, “We’re way off course!”

“And how are we even supposed to get back home if my portals aren’t working?” Leonardo scoffed, motioning around to the trees.

“We’ll figure it out on the way.” Raphael restated, a growl creeping into his voice. “Let’s go, Mad Dogz!”

Raphael stood up, pushing his brothers off of him and shaking himself free of the snow and water.

“Which way we heading, tough guy?” Leonardo smirked as he patted Raphael’s arm.

“Er…” Raphael pursed his lips as he hummed. “This way!”

***

“This is taking forever!” Leonardo groaned. It felt like they had been walking aimlessly for hours. “There’s gotta be a faster way than this.”

“If you have one, I’d like to hear it.” Raphael groaned.

“Great. Because I do have one.” Leonardo smirked. He stood up to Raphael, too tired to care about any potential repercussions as he flicked Raphael’s snout. “You remember our ninja mind meld? Why don’t we use it to try and reach Donnie?”

Raphael opened his mouth to try and find some fault, but snapped shut again when he couldn’t find anything wrong with the suggestion. He grunted and nodded.

“That’s… a good idea, Leo.” Raphael admitted.

“See? I’ve never let you down!” Leonardo sucked in a slow, deep breath and breathed it out through his nose. He closed his eyes, and when they opened again, his mind wasn’t just his own.

It was like he was in a cave; a shared mindspace where thoughts bounced around like the DVD screensaver, some his own and others more distant and seperate, but just as familiarly warming. It wasn’t just hearing the thoughts— it was feeling them. Like different kinds of ice cream melting together after being left out in the heat; the original flavors were there, stronger in some places than others, but mostly mixed together into something entirely new. Something good.

One of the thoughts were like cherry ice cream, sweet and pure and red. Another was playful and doughy like cookie dough, tasting of childhood joy and blissful rapture. A third was sharp and surprising, each taste providing something different— be it smooth ice cream or chewy, resilient bubblegum. That last one was Leonardo’s and he recognized it as such; he recognized the previous two just as well. Then came a fourth taste, distant and fading, but still within the cavern of thought. Emotionlessly passionate and a sweet surprise, like getting a small sliver of strawberry ice cream in your chocolate scoop.

Leonardo sucked in another breath that worked to soothe his burning lungs. “Got him.”

***

“DONNIE!” All three brothers ran out into the campsite at the same time, arms outstretched for their brother, but Donatello didn't react. When Leonardo saw this, he slid to a halt, and Raphael soon followed. Michelangelo, it seemed, couldn’t care less as he slid forward on his knees to squeeze Donatello in a hug.

“Donnie!” Michelangelo started to cluck uncontrollably, almost like a chicken, as he rubbed his beak against his brother’s. When Donatello didn't get a rub back, Michelangelo whined and continued to try and draw out a response. “Donnie? Dee?”

Donatello didn't react to the touch or his name.

“Donnie?” Leonardo waved his hand, “Hey bro—you okay man?”

“He’s so cold!” Michelangelo hugged his brother tightly.

“We’re all cold, Mikey.” Raphael sighed.

“Not me, I’m toasty!” Michelangelo stated.

“How could you possibly be toasty?” Leonardo rolled his eyes.

“Don’t know. Just am.” Michelangelo said.

“Hey Don… you okay, man?” Raphael asked softly as he moved in to hug Donatello. The moment his arms touched the softshell’s bare carapace, Donatello’s eyes shot open and he shoved Raphel away from him like the snapper was toxic. Then he scrambled away from Michelangelo’s touch as well, gripping his bo staff and slashing it out blindly. If Raphael hadn’t had snatched Michelangelo out of the way, the box turtle would have been hit by the attack.

“What the heck Don?!” Raphael snarled, but immediately regretted lashing out at the delicate brother.

“Dee…” Leonardo carried a hurt look in his eyes as he put his hands on his chest, “It’s us. It’s your brothers…”

Donatello was like a savage animal. Though he looked like he hadn’t slept in days, his eyes were wide and almost predatory as they swept over his brothers. As for physical health, he looked worse off than even Raphael had, like he belonged in a mutant mental asylum. Like he didn't even recognize his brothers!

“You’re the third set of brothers I’ve seen today.” Donatello snarled; his voice was still his own, but heavy and haunted. “What are you going to do this time? Dissect me again— dissect each other? Or are you just gonna eat each other alive again? I’VE SEEN IT ALL!”

He lashed out blindly; it took Leonardo a moment to realize that Donatello really couldn’t see them. He didn't have his contacts?

“Donnie, you’re not making any sense…” Raphael said softly.

“Nothing makes sense anymore.” Donatello rambled. “I can’t eat, I can’t sleep— nightmares—blood— my skin is peeling off— I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t— The laughter is inside my head!” He pounded at his head repeatedly until Raphael grabbed his hands to force him to stop.

“No— no no no no no no—“ Donatello thrashed around trying to free himself of Raphael’s unfaltering grip. “I can’t— I can’t take anymore—please-1”

Leonardo didn't know how to feel. Hurt? Scared? Sympathetic? His brother was in front of him so broken, so scared. So alone even now that he was surrounded by his family! His eyes trailed to the mountain and the sliver of purple thread glimmering across the entrance. There was a pure evil radiating from that place and it clenched around Leonardo’s heart to turn compassion to cold anger.

“What did that thing do to you…?”

While Raphael had Donatello restricted, Leonardo walked over and leaned against Donatello's carapace. Donatello flashed his teeth and tried to push Leonardo off of him, but the mutant held strong and rested his head on Donatello’s shoulders.

“Donnie… it’s us. It’s really us…” He ran his hand across Donatello’s arm and made shushing sounds, not to silence, but to comfort. “Remember? I used to lay on you like this all the time when we were tots. You say you hate it but…” Leonardo lowered his voice to a whisper so his other two brothers couldn’t hear, “sometimes we still do it when neither of us can sleep. You know I hate sleeping alone, and you like the pressure on your shell…”

Donatello stopped struggling. Tears that had long since stained his face fell even harder as his eyes went wide and unblinking. Leonardo could feel a low churr deep in the softshell’s chest, so he kept going.

“You pretend you don’t like it because I drool, but sometimes you send me a text asking for a sleep over because you’re so damn tired and you know that me being there helps, and you know that I’m awake too…”

“L...Leo…?” Donatello whimpered. His hands pulled free of Raphael to hold Leonardo’s hands as the slider soothed.

“It’s me, brother…” Leonardo went to Donatello’s front so the mutant could see him better. “See? No great ancient evil could look quite as good as me!”

“Y...you look like shit, Leo.” Donatello chuckled softly, giving a weak toothy grin.

Leonardo snickered. “Seen yourself lately, Hermano? What, were you hit by a train?”

Donatello broke down and rested his head into Leonardo’s shoulder. “It really is you… please… please just take me home…”

“We need to seal the rift first…” Raphael said softly.

“Uh… Raphie…” Michelangelo gulped.

“What is it Michael?” Raphael looked to his brother, and then to the rift as Michelangelo pointed it out with a shaky hand.

Just as Raphael looked to the rift, the final thread snapped.

[anystalker707]

It’s just the drugs

Requested by @that-one-sad-theater-kid​ Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader Genre: Angst Warning: Alcohol and drugs abuse Word count: 3 370 Summary: Was it really drugs that just kept you two together? It takes a while for Gerard to notice.

Feelings and demonstrations of such lost among continuous nights of touring, but it was difficult to really discern what kept you two together; exhaustion, conditions, feelings or the drugs? The nights went by as a blur that could easily be resumed in sleeping, drinking, music and drugs. It was ironical how you had started the tour with such good goals such like stop getting high or drinking so often and actually trying to be healthier, but the exhaustion that started taking over through the time was stronger. The same was shared by the other members of the band, but not at the same level.

You couldn't tell exactly when did waking up to a naked Gerard next to you started becoming something normal. After that, you were suddenly glued to him all the time; what was that? Well, who needed an answer anyways. You could find a comfort and happiness in being there like this. It was like you just established a relationship, without ever voicing it - something natural.

He would always be there. Lips pressed to yours whenever you needed and that cute giggle to cheer you up all the time. You went through the hard times together, encouraging each other - in the most different ways - before concerts and other uncountable moments. Even if you couldn't think straight for most of the time, one thing was right; you loved him.

Through it all, things started getting difficult, maybe out of hand. Was there an interview in which you were clean...? You couldn't really tell, but you remember that one time in which all you had done before it was to have a drink and that's it. Once, you got surprised with finding out the existence of an interview you didn't remember about. It happened a few times more until, seeing an specific one, you were shocked to sober up a bit and thereafter reality started to sink in.

Were you really living? Was it all about getting high then... getting high? Ray's words echoed in the back of your mind and you finally understood what he meant some weeks ago, plus the reason of the look he had on his face whenever he saw one of the other band members in a bad situation. That same look decorated your features as you observed them - Mikey was quietly sitting on the floor as leaning against the bus, probably not even in this reality anymore, while Ray tried to help him and Frank. Your heart sunk when you saw Gerard stumbling on the sidewalk and that made you freeze, thinking.

After a hard while trying, it was the first time you were really in your right mind and not thinking about getting high once again, as much as your body pleaded you for so. It was like you were finally able to see clearly after walking around in the dark with a flashlight in hand for so long, feeling an incredible relaxed sensation while some thoughts still wanted you to return to the dark - you forced yourself to continue in the light.

Anyways, it shocked you. Was that how you looked like when you were high? Your stomach churned at the scene. That was way worse than how it seemed to be, under all the chemical's effects. Noticing you could barely remember how did it feel to be in that state was terrifying. It made you never want to try any of that shit again, but you knew you'd be surrendering to your body's pleas not so long later.

The sight of Gerard falling on the sidewalk brought you back to reality and you quickly ran to his side, cupping his face. "Gee, damn, you okay?" You asked worried, not knowing if you got annoyed or more desperate at the giggle he released, slowly blinking at you. His words weren't clear, but you could understand your name among the slurs, along with some other completely unrelated words.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you shook your head to yourself and moved to help him up, deciding to get him inside the bus so you would be able to take better care of him. Once he was sitting on the couch, you had to be fast to grab a glass of water before he stood up and started walking away.

"Drink it, it'll help you." You muttered as sitting down next to him. He looked at you puzzled, furrowing his eyebrows like if trying to process what you said then opened a smile, slowly taking the glass in hands and bringing it to his lips. Certain kind of relief hit you; the corner of your lips curled up lightly as watching him, raising your hand to pull some of his dark strands from his face. After knowing the state you guys were into most of the time, now it was good knowing he had someone to take care of him.

"No!" He said suddenly, letting go of the glass away like if it was made of fire; it would've shattered on the floor if not fallen on his lap and rolled to the side, soaking his pants and the couch in the way. His sudden reaction made you retract your hand at the same time, startled. "It's fucking water!" The slurred words were still comprehensible as he said them with some difficulty, looking at you with disbelief and dilated pupils.

"Yeah?" Confusion hit you as you furrowed your eyebrows at him, shrugging while reaching for the glass before all of the liquid fell out of it. What was he expecting it to be?

A whine left his lips as he wrinkled his nose, resembling a small kid throwing a tantrum. "Where's the vodka?" His question made your heart sink again, having your expressions to unconsciously mirror the feeling. Gerard quickly grew tired of your lack of reaction and stood up. You noticed it when he was already about to open the cabinets in the search for the drink, but you were faster, grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand away, making the cabinet door slam shut.

"No! Stop! Come drink with me!" He whined again after noticing you wouldn't let go, letting the glass in the sink before you dragged him towards the bunks, with a lot of protests coming from him.

Honestly, all of that was a hell of experience to you. It was already a great shock to finally see things the way they really were, then it got more difficult with Gerard's behavior and, before you could notice, you reached a point it was impossible to determine what happened first; Gerard getting on top of you or you getting high.

In the next morning, regret hit you hard and you wanted to cry. Back to square one, to the same deplorable state of always. Was that how you really wanted to live your life? The headache wasn't really familiar to you because, normally, you'd never even give it time to happen, so every time the pain sharpened, tears stung your eyes. A muffled sob was enough to get the almost conscious Gerard's attention; he muttered something in his sleep before nuzzling further in the crook of your neck. Some kind of comfort hit you. At least he was there and you were there for him.

Later, you talked to Ray about your new choice, about how you noticed it wasn't so funny losing your senses for some determinate time then waking up with a massive headache. He was extremely happy to hear that from you and even offered help if needed, talking about how Mikey had chosen to do the same.

On the other hand, it surprised you Gerard took so long to understand it. Of course being high didn't help him remembering you had told it to him, but you hadn't really noticed that and it left you without reaction when he turned to you with that realizing expression.

"The fuck, why don't you want to do it?" Gerard narrowed his eyes at you; they widened seconds later. "You're fucking trying to stay clean! Fuck, Ray got you in this too!" He gasped, seeming angry and frustrated at the same time, momentarily forgetting to practically be forcing a bottle of vodka into your hand. "And now you're trying to do the same to me! No!" A sob escaped his lips as his eyes started showing some kind of betrayal; he quickly brought the bottle closer to his chest and sunk further in the couch. "You know it's my only escape!"

"But there are other ways to do it!" You insisted, not really knowing what to think or how to react. Weren't you trying to do something good? Why wouldn't he understand that? You cared about him, you wanted his best. Didn't him get it? Furrowing your eyebrows and trying to explain it better for him, you exhaled, reaching a hand to cup his face. "I can help you, Gee-"

"No!" He cut you off, moving away from your touch. "You're no fun anymore!" You were about to speak up, but he did it first. "I thought you understood how I felt, but no! Now you're trying to take it away from me! The only thing that makes me feel well!" His face contorted more in a betrayal that made your heart physically ache. "You're no fun anymore. You're trying to take it away from me..." He said in a shaky voice, about to cry.

As an almost automatic reaction, you reached for a hug, but there came another surprise - he didn't let you touch him. "I just want the best for you!" You choked out through all the feelings, just aching to feel his comforting warmth. "Let me help you out of this! You don't know how good it is to-"

"I don't want that help! I never asked for that help!" Gerard's eyes widened, annoyed that you weren't seeing what was obvious to him. "I liked you because you understood me and I thought you were like me!" He cried out, desperately unscrewing the vodka's bottle lid and bringing it to his lips, chugging down two long sips at once without letting you even get closer.

All of that caused a great confusion in your mind - between what was real and what you wanted to believe in. "Gerard, I fucking care about you! I'm doing this because I want you to-"

"Oh!" He cut in once again, with a realizing face much more exaggerated, mocking. His eyes were wide open and his mouth shaped an outstretched o. "You like me! Fuck, you took all the sex seriously!" At the proportion entertainment showed over his features, the hard reality crushed your heart, making your thoughts rush at the seek of another explanation for his words other than the truth.

"(Y/n)," A breathy chuckle escaped Gerard's lips, he furrowed his eyebrows. "it's all the drugs. I don't feel anything for you other than..." His eyes roamed around the room like if roaming around his mind in a seek for any excuse that would fit. "bro feelings." His eyes met yours again, seeming anxious to see you breaking under their gaze. "Do you really think we take anything serious here? Under these conditions? Frank can't even remember his own name." He snickered.

It was so casual. Casual. Your heaven casually went down at once and revealed itself worse than hell. Cool. That was so cool. To think someone would be this cold, huh? That was weird how some people could act exactly how the others thought they - or anyone else - wouldn't. Definitely amusing.

Gerard's words were successfully registered and played over and over by your mind, the whole time for two days or three. Your mind slowly managed to accept them and lock down all the feelings you had for him. It started turning easy to stay at the same room as him; your mind started treating him like part of the furniture, which wouldn't be notice until its use was needed.

If anyone asked or analyzed you, they would get to the same conclusion - psh, of course you were fine, just coming over the end of a relationship. The thing is that you knew it wasn't quite truth. They were uncountable, the times you found yourself craving not just the drugs and drinks again but also him. Only you knew it was the truth - the truth the went ignored and you wouldn't ever admit, even to yourself.

Ray, however, wasn't anyone. He had known you for long enough to know how you really were behind all this kind of shield you'd built around yourself. It bothered him more than anything because he was able to see what was happening on the other hand, what made the suffering you went through so unnecessary. He had to resist to the urge of throwing his head on the nearest wall - or maybe Gerard's - when the latter commented something about you and quickly denied the feelings.

"Can't you fucking notice?" Ray's patience had ran out; that wasn't something one could achieve easily, so Gerard was getting the prize, sitting in his place on the couch with eyes widened at witnessing the other raise his voice for the first time. "You're missing them! Waking up next to them! The way they care about you and are always around!" He threw his hands in the air, grasping at the nothing as remembering he couldn't just choke Gerard to death. "Are drugs that important to you? More than their feelings?"

Wanting the other to answer, Ray remained like this until he could cut Gerard off before the first syllabus was spoken. "You can't deny you've got feelings for them because, after they got distant from you, all you seem to do with your life is nothing! It's like if you need them to live, literally! Fucking grow up, Gerard!" Ray didn't trust himself enough to not end up hitting Gerard in the first opportunity he got, so he just walked away from the room quickly after that, not wanting to hear any other bullshit that would probably come from Gerard.

He didn't want to give up to that. No, he didn't even plan to. Still, Ray's words were stronger - they kept themselves present in the back of Gerard's mind at first, slowly taking over his thoughts until regret and guilt were eating him from the insides. It was ironical how the sadness of not having you just made him want to drink more and more - that last fact made him practically lose all the hope he had in being maybe even friends with you again.

It was like a sword went right across his heart every time your eyes ignored his form; it was so casual that he really felt invisible to you. It fucking hurt, but the worst part was knowing it was his fault. Even crying over that didn't feel right - it was like he didn't have the right of crying over something he had caused himself. You had noticed Gerard's once provoking presence turned into a fading one, but your mind was already used to ignoring him at all.

Ray's agony ended up being shared by Mikey and Frank - both had completely understood what was going on, not to mention they were trying to get better -, but neither of the three had the courage of interfering in the situation. They considered it so fragile, like if they were stepping on eggs whenever mentioning one near to the other, what was something difficult considering you were in a fucking band. Either you or Gerard would already have left the band if they weren't strong enough to pull on the strings.

That lasted until Mikey came up with an idea. Just don't say it directly, he said and Ray was quickly in charge of giving Gerard a lecture of how he needed to seek for help. Maybe not even seek for help, he just needed anyone to support him while he fixed himself. Someone that would be there for him and willing to help him under any circumstance and Gerard fucking knew who was that, as much as he wanted to ignore that.

Stubborn, but not dumb; that's the reason Gerard knew how to not ignore Ray. He trusted Ray so much that he would follow the other's words even unconsciously and he was pondering about it when finally seeing you walking through the door and entering the bus' living room area.

For once, Gerard expected you to look down at his miserable form that sat on the couch, eyeing you expectantly. It never happened. The only sound that filled the place was you pouring coffee into a cup and quickly downing the liquid, with no greetings or words exchanged. It was finally clear to Gerard how not having you in his life was - actually, that was just like admitting doing something uncomfortable for wanting to seem cool then noticing how dumb was that.

"(Y/n)..." He cried out quietly - your name felt like water in his lips after days of thirst while they sounded like a long forgotten song to your ears. Maybe you were just hallucinating, you told yourself as placing the cup in the sink, walking towards the exit until a hand grabbed your jacket's sleeve. "(Y/n)." Gerard said again, more confident this time. Nervousness hit him at once noticing he had your attention and he suddenly noted he had spent so much time worried about how to talk to you that he hadn't thought about what to tell you. "I'm sorry." Was all he could think about.

What to do? You asked yourself over and over, analyzing uncountable options in seek for a perfect one which never came. To ignore him or say something? You couldn't decide. You had hope, but you also knew you couldn't have it. Why did everything need to be so difficult?

Well, what rested for Gerard was to say the truth. That's all he had to say. "I was a fucking idiot and I'm so stupid for just noticing now that I'm fucking nothing without you. I think I was too afraid of getting attached to you or something-" He quickly interrupted himself, believing he got a bit too far. "I know that it's barely making sense, but I fucking need you to live and I'm so sorry. It's the worst thing in the world to be ignored by you and I always loved it when you played with my hair or caressed my cheek. I just fucking miss it all, I love you so much-"

The rant continued, but all your mind could process at first were those specific five words - I love you so much. You hated how it sounded so cheesy and made you seem easy, but it made you internally melt knowing he noticed the details about you. How he mentioned missing the specific way you furrowed your eyebrows when he said something stupid or the way you always pecked his cheek before you two sang Thank You For The Venom. Just having him hugging you tightly and crying on your shoulder could bring you back to reality.

He still cares. You told yourself as shakily exhaling. Honestly, you were extremely afraid. Was he saying the truth? Wasn't it, in his words, drugs again? Thinking about that almost made you back away from him, but he must have noticed your insecurity and tightened his grip around you.

"I want your help. I need you." His voice went out muffled by your shoulder as your could feel his fingers tightening around the fabric of your jacket and tears getting through it. "I-I know I'm in a worst state than I was before, but... I know you can help. Just you, just you..." The words kept being repeated by him like a mantra that would save him from an eternal doom.

You couldn't resist to that. Slowly, your arms wrapped themselves around his shaking body and you placed a light kiss to his head. "It's okay now." You whispered, quietly accepting his love and trusting him yours.

[acatwithmanyfandoms]

.

[nei-ning]

Another oneshot (tcest) about Leo and Raph :) No name to this fic since I’m so bad at thinking names to these! T__T Also sorry for writing mistakes!

Another difficult day ahead. There had been a lot of them lately… or actually ever since Leonardo had realized his feelings toward his hot-headed brother. Of course Leonardo had keep his mouth shut and feelings hidden. He wasn’t going to go show or tell about them to Raphael since, well, knowing Raphael and the way how he would react to those news wouldn’t be all too good and calm.

But still, as hard as he might, ignoring and pushing his feelings back didn’t erase the ache in his heart what longed for love, his body longed to be touched, lips to be kissed… Deep inside he wanted to feel and experience all of that but no, he had to keep his cool and step back. Taking a deep breath before opening dojo’s door Leonardo prepared himself to face his brothers who were already waiting him.

His firm and steady, deadly silent, steps took him in front of his brothers who were all bowing to him with respect and he returned it to them with his own bow, his eyes automatically meeting with Raphael’s who raised his brow, making Leo turn his gaze away towards his two other brothers. Deciding to make pairs Leo would get something else to think about so he made Mikey and Raph to practice their moves as he choose Don as his partner.

After 1.5 hours of intense training sweat drops shined and rolled down on all of their skins, Mikey and Don gasping for air, begging to be let out of dojo. Chucking slightly Leonardo nodded with permission of them all to dismiss and it didn’t take time before those two had hurry out of there. Raphael stood still a bit further away keeping his eyes on Leo, but when Leo gave him his back and started to do his own little training about katas, Raphael placed sais back on his belt and left. Hearing his brother’s fading steps Leonardo stopped and looked over his shoulder, sighing deeply.

–

Sitting on the couch next to Master Splinter Leonardo’s eyes scanned this huge TV screen, watching one of Splinter’s favorite soup operas and of course it had to be an episode where young couple was making love. It wasn’t anything new to Leo to see but still his cheeks started to heat up and he excused himself, also asking if his father needed anything from kitchen. Splinter smiled and raised his hand saying he needed nothing so Leo nodded once and walked toward the kitchen when he heard slight sounds coming from the back area of kitchen.

Stopping at the doorway his eyes scanned that emerald green skin and red bandanna which fitted so very well with that green skin. Sudden flashes from that TV show… about that couple making love filled his mind, bringing instant sadness in his heart. Sighing silently and deep Leonardo lowered his head and turned around, walking away to the stares what took him to second level and in his room. Raphael, however, had seen Leonardo from the corner of his eye and couldn’t stop wondering what had gotten into his brother. Deciding to find out what it was, Raphael put big pan of lasagna in the oven, leaving it there for 30 minute. That would be enough time for him to have a little chat with Leo.

As he assumed, Raphael found Leonardo sitting on small round carpet, candles burning all around his room and incenses burning on his nightstand. Meditating, how original. Standing in front of him Raphael waited and waited and finally he heard a sigh, seeing Leo opening his eyes and looking up at him.

“Did you want something?”

“Yeah, ta talk with ya. Ya been acting weird and I’m sure it have something ta do with me so spit it out.”

Swallowing hard Leo turned his head away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Snorting with amusement Raphael crossed his arms over his chest. “Ya are bad liar, did ya know that?” Turning more serious he continued; “Ya better slam the facts on the table or I beat them out of ya.”

“I always have adore the way how you are intimidating others.”

“Sarcasm also doesn’t suit ya, Leo.”

Sighing Leonardo decided to ignore Raphael this time and go back to his meditation. Raphael waited a while, perhaps 30 second at the most, before his anger overtook him. Reaching down at his brother, his strong fingers took extremely tight hold on Leonardo’s bicep, pulling him up and slamming him hard against the wall. Placing his arms on both sides of Leo against the wall he kept surprised and shocked brother of his in place.

Leaning closer Raphael’s voice lowered in quiet but raspy level.

“I came here for answers and I ain’t leaving before I have ‘em. So be a good boy and spit it all out.”

Much for his surprise Leonardo realized he couldn’t say a thing. His voice had suddenly left him, his legs were starting to feel weak as he kept staring in those demanding gold eyes and his heart… it was speeding up with its beating. Heat had also start to spread on his cheeks so very slowly, hiding that pink blush from Raphael still. Rising his brow Raphael leaned a bit closer, keeping his eyes locked with those fresh blue eyes.

“What’s wrong with ya? Cat got your tongue?”

Seeing Leo licking his lips fast with the tip of his tongue, his eyes jumping between Raphael’s eyes and lips finally hit the message and truth in Raph’s mind. In slight surprise he stared with wide eyes into Leo’s, smirk slowly starting to appear on his face, revealing his sharp fangs. And his eyes were getting a bit more closed, having playful spark in them.

“Ooooohhh, now I see what’s the thing in here, Fearless.” Leaning more closer, so close that their noses almost touched, Raphael’s voice turned more seductive and low, causing Leo’s heart beat so fast. “Ya want me ta come closer, talk with gentle whispers, seduce ya and… ~”

Leaning so close that their lips just very gently and briefly touched each other, Leo’s hot and fast breathing hitting his lips with burning sensation, Raph whispered again; “...Kiss ya like they do in movies and TV shows.”

Still being at the lost of words Leo kept his begging eyes locked with Raph’s, nodding few times with so faint movement, panting louder than before. Damn, he was feeling so damn hot. Seeing little spark flashing past Raphael’s eyes, Leonardo closed his eyes waiting his first kiss but when shadow moved over him, his eyes slowly opened. Raphael was still keeping him between his arms, but he had pull away with small smirk on his lips.

“But I ain’t doing it.” W-what?! Why?! Those two questions must been showing in those blue eyes since Raphael soon continued. “I ain’t all that romantic. I don’t want my kiss ta be like in a movies or TV shows. It’s way too lame and over appreciated. Beside I want ta surprise ya with the kiss. Not give it ta ya when ya want it.”

Smirking and winking once to his brother Raphael stepped away, finding his way out of his brother’s room. The smell what met him in the lair was a sign their dinner was almost done. However Raphael couldn’t stop chuckling in his mind as he imagined how stunned Leo must be looking right now in his room…

–

Rainy night, slippery rooftop and way too many Foot ninjas. Their regular night patrol had got nasty turn when they were ambushed by Foot. Hard wind howled hiding the sounds of fight with the sounds of city from the night people who still were walking down on the streets.

Weapons clashed together, rain drops splashing down in puddles while part of the blood colored some of the puddles red. Leonardo was panting hard as he focused on those 3 ninjas in front of him. He had a chance to look over his shoulder to see how his brothers were doing and much for his relief Raphael and Don were taking care of themselves but Mikey seemed to be in troubles and it seemed neither Raph or Don hadn’t a chance to go help him.

Bending down and summoning all the strength what he had, Leo gave himself a good kick which sent him flying backward through the air, landing right next to his little bro with orange bandanna.

“Get down!”

Mikey dropped on his knees and hands as Leo’s katanas flashed in the air, dropping 2 heads from shoulders. Standing up slowly Mike kept his eyes on those dead bodies, whistling.

“Wow, dude. You really went into it.”

Placing his bloody blades in their scabbards on his back, Leonardo offered a small smile to his young brother who was now looking at him in the eyes.

“Yeah, I kind of hated to do it but it was something what needed to be done and I --- Out of the way!”

Leo’s warning confused Mikey so he didn’t move out of the way when a Foot ninja was coming at the from the air, blade ready to strike, so Leonardo pushed his little brother out of the way, tilting his head back just enough when that deadly blade swung past in front of him, making small cut on Leo’s neck. Holding his bleeding wound Leonardo stepped back pulling one of his katanas in his hand, following this ninja’s movements as he jumped and turned around to face this small clan’s leader.

Raising his sword to hit, this ninja approached Leonardo who lifted his own sword to his protection but suddenly his instincts told him to dodge. He took Mikey with him and jumped with short roll away from his opponent and when he turned to look around, they both saw Raphael standing at the spot where that ninja had stood just few seconds ago. Looking over at the roof’s edge Raphael made sure his target was eliminated and rest of the Foot had run away, he turned his flaming gaze to Leo’s way, locking into those surprised blue eyes.

“Leonardo...” Was low growl what came between Raphael’s teeth as he growled while approaching his two brothers, Donatello following events at the background. He had seen what Raphael was capable of doing when angry and he didn’t want to go in his way.

Mikey stepped away from Leo as he sheathed his sword, getting prepared to anything what Raph would say or do. Probably he would yell and try to punch him so Leo’s body started to turn a bit tense and getting ready into defense mode but when Raphael was right in front of him, his strong emerald green arms made their way around Leo’s smaller forest green body, bending him down backward to the side as their lips were slammed together by Raph.

Staring at Raph’s closed eyes in surprise, Leo let out a deep sigh closing his eyes, relaxing in Raphael’s arms. His legs were giving in and Leo was sure Raph felt it, but at the same time his brother was so strong that he could easily carry Leonardo’s weight in his arms. Kiss was deep and gentle, yet full of love and care and neither of them didn’t seem to have any rush to end it. At the background Mikey had made his way next to Donnie and was now staring his two older brothers with wide eyes and mouth open. Donatello, however, stood there as calm as he always was, lifting Mikey’s jaw up with the end of his bo staff, closing Mikey’s mouth.

“Yo, bro, I didn’t see that coming. … Does that mean we have to kiss too?”

“No, Mikey, it doesn’t.”

Hearing Mikey’s long whine at the background Raphael finally opened his eyes to half, staring down in that relaxed and calming face of his leader. Gosh, how much he loved that turtle in his arms and he hoped his kiss would deliver all his warm emotions into his brother’s heart and soul. Like if sensing Raphael looking at him, Leonardo revealed his blue eyes to those golden ones, smiling to his brother via his eyes. Their lips parted only for a moment, sharing few more small faster kisses with each other. Keeping his voice low, Raphael whispered;

“Ya got careless there, fearless. Ya almost got yourself killed.”

Lifting his hand lazily up, letting his fingertips travel over his fresh wound, Leonardo whispered back; “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Hm-mh. I forgive ya this time.”

“Was that kiss your forgiveness?” A hint of playful smile spread on Leonardo’s lips and it soon spread on Raphael’s face too.

“Njah, it wasn’t. It was our first kiss. Wanted it ta be special… Memorable.”

“That… it indeed was. Give me another one and sweep me off my feet once more.” Reaching his left hand on the backside of Raphael’s head, Leo pulled his smiling brother in another deep and gentle kiss, ignoring Mikey’s kiss sounds and luckily Don knew how to shut his little brother up – by slamming his hand on his mouth and dragging him down from the roof into sewers, taking him home.

Surrendering totally to Raphael and their kiss, Leo’s body went even more limp which made Raphael pull away with chuckle.

“Ya really are enjoying this, aren’t ya?”

“I told you to sweep me off on my feet, didn’t I?”

“Yeah and it seems I’m doing a damn good job with it.”

“I’m afraid you have to carry me. My legs are all weak.”

Raphael squat down with chuckle and smirk, pushing his arm under Leonardo’s knees, lifting him up in his arms in bridal style. This made Leo blush and hide his face against Raphael’s neck, taking deep calming inhale, sucking all that lovely scent of Raphael’s in his lungs. He never hadn’t realized how lovely and calming Raph’s scent was… But he had a nice tingling in his guts that for now on he would get to enjoy it a lot more and often.