#and i needed to quarantine it or it wouldn't make Any sense

[theradicalace]

you know my htf worldbuilding has gotten convoluted when i have to make a New ao3 series to contain it with 2 paragraphs of explanation and a disclaimer along the lines of "it definitely doesn't make sense yet but will later and please ask if you have questions"

[gotham-daydreams]

Not Now (PT. 2)

[Platonic! Yandere! Neglectful Batfam × Gender Neutral! Sibling Reader]

[Warnings: Mentions of Neglect, Mild General Yandere(ish) Behavior, Arguing, Awkward Tension(?), No One is Having a Good Time, Angst, Implied Past Injuries (To Reader)]

(When I say arguing I do mean it this time. Might be a bit more OOC? Dick is living up to his nickname. This is longer than the first part, just fyi - and by a good 4k or so words. Again, take your time and remember to take breaks!)

Didn't tag anyone on this post since both this part and the first are posted back to back :] Regardless, enjoy!

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3 (PT. 1). [Series Masterlist]

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"I… I just don't think it's a good idea. It doesn't feel right, and- and I…" You couldn't think of much else to say. All the reasons you had felt too personal, and you didn't feel comfortable telling Dick any of them. Not out here, and certainly not while he was in the suit. Though even if he wasn't, you weren't sure that it'd make you any more willing to tell him anything. 

After all, you wouldn't even share the date of your birthday if he asked now, with or without the suit.

"Yeah, but why? It doesn't make sense to not go to either place just because you have a ‘bad feeling’ or anything. Even then, you'll be safe, and that's what really matters." That didn't feel like it was the case. Your safety doesn't feel like a priority over him just being able to keep an eye on you, and being able to pull anything he wants to without any prying eyes.

Though it was with that thought, did you wonder when you began to see Dick as someone so untrustworthy that you considered him to be on the same level as a thug out on the streets. Just far more dangerous and capable.

"Look, I just-" You sigh harshly, looking back at Dick as the fire in your chest rose, building up as it poked at your ribs and flesh. Begging for more air, more room to grow. "I'm going to the park. If you're not coming then that's fine by me, and if you're not okay with that, then there's nothing I can do about it." You state, looking forward as you pick up your pace. 

Dick fumbles over his words before he hurriedly matches your pace, "Wait! Let's try and think this over-"

"Why? Even if we're out in the open, you're still a vigilante. If you can defend and look after an entire city, then surely you can protect one person, right? Not to mention that I can take care of myself." You huff, still keeping your eyes forward even as they narrow. You add, "Besides, again- not many people are out tonight. And if anything- seem to be rushing home, because of whatever is going on. We'll be fine."

"Sure. Yeah. I can handle it- but wouldn't it be smarter to just be inside anyway? That way it's less likely for anything to happen. You have to think rationally-" You swiftly cut Dick off again, really trying to put your foot down and stand your ground here.

"I am thinking rationally. You're a skilled vigilante that's been trained under Batman, and have only improved in skill and technique over the years. If anything goes wrong, and I can't handle it, you can. Not to mention that you have a way to contact the others if things really do go sideways, and you're in the suit. I didn't think I needed to say anything else." You sigh, lightly scratching the cup in your hands with your nail.

"Also, if you haven't noticed, even criminals and thugs are running home. It's like some kind of quarantine or lock down is going on. Some random person eavesdropping on us doesn't seem like it'll be a problem. Let alone with all of the noises that seem to be 'persuading' people to go home."

Dick could only sigh himself before saying, "Alright- okay. Fine. But like you said, I'm still in the suit."

"And?"

"And someone could see, and think that you're a close tie to me or something. You could be put in more danger."

"Are you actually worried about that now? You've been walking beside me this entire time when you didn't have to, and it's only now that you're worried about me being seen with you in the suit?"

"How else are we supposed to have this conversation? And I'm sorry for being worried about your safety, and well-being in the future for being seen with me." You could practically hear the eye-roll in Dick's voice despite knowing that he didn't actually do it. When did he get so sarcastic?

"That's not the issue, and you know that. We could've figured out some other way to have this talk, and you didn't have to walk beside me this entire time." You shot him a glance, causing Dick to sigh again.

"What if something happened while I was up top, and I couldn't react fast enough because I wasn't next to you? Someone could've tried something if I wasn't there, especially because you'd appear to be by yourself."

"So… remind me again, who's the paranoid one?"

"Y/n, I'm being serious." Dick states.

"I know. I'm being serious too, and I'm just saying that it's kind of ridiculous to be worrying about that now when it's already been a few minutes." You huff, "And I don't know what you expect me to do about it. I'm not the one in the suit, y'know. Why don't you just go and change somewhere?"

Dick rubs his nose bridge, getting annoyed but not trying to show it as he says, "Fine. I can do that, but at least come with me." He looks at you expectantly as his hand drops from his face. You couldn't help but raise a brow at his words.

"Why?"

"So that I can keep an eye on you…? And if anything happens while I'm changing- I'll be able to jump in and help much faster?" Dick said, confused. Talking as if he was stating the obvious, and maybe he was in a way, but you didn't see why he's so adamant about being close to you enough where he could easily protect you or reach you if needed.

"But wouldn't that kind of go against the point of you changing…?"

"What do you mean?"

"If I wait somewhere and Nightwing walks off, only for you-know-who to pop up after a little while, and we walk off together, wouldn't that be weird? Or at least hint at a certain something?" You point out, a little confused and surprised that you even had to explain this to Dick.

"C'mon, I won't be that obvious. And even then, no one will be able to figure it out."

"You say that like every other villain or wannabe in Gotham isn't some genius or anything. They're criminals and all that, but they aren't entirely stupid."

Dick sighs, though it came out more frustrated than he would’ve liked as he ran a hand through his hair once again, "Still, I'd just like for you to at least be close by. I don't want anything to happen to you, and I want to be able to help out as soon and as quickly as I can if anything does." He explains, getting a little closer to you.

"Please, Y/n. Just come with me."

You shake your head, your shoulders feeling far too heavy, and the flame in your chest was much too hot for you to even think about it. You knew Dick wasn't happy about it when he gave you a little room, but still kept close. As if hoping you'd change your mind, despite already knowing the answer.

"I'll just head to the park, and wait a few minutes. I'm not defenseless and can handle myself for a while, and it's not my fault that I could be in more potential danger because someone thought it was a good idea to come see me, and follow me around while in their suit. You can figure it out, and live without me for a few minutes." You huff harshly, adding, "If you aren't there after that time? I'm leaving. That's all." Once again, you pick up your pace, only to be stopped by Dick as he rushes in front of you.

"Wait- hold on. Are you sure about this? I don't think it's a good idea- and how long exactly will you be waiting? Where are you going if you leave? Are you going back to the apartment? Are you going home?" You don't like how hopeful Dick looked when he asked you that last question, but you push your discomfort to the side, and stand your ground.

"I'm an adult, and I'm a L/n. I'm sure about this. You can think whatever you want, and like I said- I'll be waiting a few minutes. If you're not there by then, I'm going to leave." You narrow your eyes at Dick, piercing him with your gaze as you said, "I've made my choice and I'm sticking to it. If you're not happy about it, or don't agree, then you can leave and I'll go on with my night. I'll wait at the park, and that's that." You state one final time before making your way around Dick, and continuing to walk forward. Luckily, he didn't try to stop you again, and if anything — seemed to stop following you entirely.

All you heard was a low scoff from behind you, and the rush of wind.

When you glance back, Dick was gone, and it was only then did you realize how heavy the air felt. Releasing the breath you didn't know you had been holding, you clutch your chest. Your heart aches, and yet you manage to push on.

Tonight wasn't exactly going well for you, but that almost tipped you over the edge.

You were beginning to hate many things about tonight, along with Dick. It almost made you think that maybe you were lucky back when he hardly ever noticed or talked to you. It made things easier, after all, and of course now that you've had your longest conversation with him — things were only getting harder.

Every word he said made him seem bigger, or pushed you down as an attempt to make you smaller. His reasoning could go from making complete sense, to being outright idiotic and paranoid. With each action of his being either too small or way too much. 

Dick, in that way, was too much.

You could chalk up some of your discomfort and nervousness to your lack of experience with Dick, and being around him. Of course some of his antics and habits would seem strange to you — since you were never able to see much of them, and those that you did notice were from a far, and never up close. You weren't able to experience them yourself, not until now. Though that almost made you grateful for all the times he turned you down or ignored you, seeing as now you could only see how much of a handful he is to deal with. 

Maybe that could've changed if you were more familiar with him, but it was too late for that now. Even if you did wonder how this whole thing would've gone if you did know him. If you were more familiar with how Dick acted, and had actually managed to spend time with him. If Dick was more familiar with you, and how that'd change this whole situation… but, again, it was much too late for that. If he really wanted to know you, he would've taken one of the chances you gave him over the years, and yet he didn't. No one did. No one except for Alfred…

You hope he's okay, at least.

Shaking your head, you push your thoughts to the side. There was no use thinking about 'what if's, not when such thoughts and possibilities kept you in the manor for so long. Not when your mind used them against you, and had you keep that pathetic hope you once desperately clung onto. You promised yourself you wouldn't do that anymore, and so you took a breath, and tried to stop them from coming in. They always slip by, but you try to ignore them. Especially since they caused you so much trouble that could have easily been avoided in the past.

You took a small sip of your coffee, only to pull it away and look at the cup strangely. 

It was… bitter. More so than you remember, and it immediately struck you as odd. Since, Jessica always managed to make your coffee the exact same way every time, and even if she did make some mistakes here and there, the change was never this significant or noticeable. Not like it was now, with the taste lingering on your tongue, almost trying to further stain your taste buds and remain there for as long as possible. As if trying to permanently ingrain itself in your mouth.

You couldn't help but cringe a bit. Maybe getting coffee really was a bad idea after all…

Sighing, you just continue on and brush the weird occurrence to the side. Whatever, you have enough things to deal with and worry about now. There wasn't much you could do about the coffee, and if anything, maybe that just went to further show how horrible your night is going thanks to Dick. 

Though, you wouldn't push it that far, even if your opinion of him was definitely souring by the minute, but the thought was pretty funny to think about, at least.

The night felt calm for once, and it’s only now, with you by yourself, do you realize how much you needed this.

Sure, Gotham was potentially going to hell, and you might see Dick again in a few minutes, but you don't have to worry about that right now. Just here, in the streets, did you have… normal problems. Problems unrelated to a family you no longer wanted to involve yourself with, that also just so happened to be made up of vigilantes. Problems that didn't involve your musical career, and how your rise to fame was becoming both an inconvenience, and a bit of an issue. Problems that… just about everyone has dealt with one way or another.

Your coffee didn't taste quite right, you felt exhausted despite having only walked a bit, and your social battery was just about to hit its limit. The air was just a tad too cold for the clothes you were wearing, you had a strong desire to crawl into bed and sleep like you had nothing else to worry about, and really — besides yourself and making a few dumb mistakes, the only thing you really had to worry about here was getting mugged. Maybe even jumped, at a push.

Yet, such things got a light, airy laugh out of you. You felt so at ease by yourself, and during the most dangerous hours of the night, no less. Despite everything, you couldn't help but find a bit of humor in it, and such a little thing even made you feel better. That uncomfortable heat in your chest dying down, and almost going away entirely as you cooled off.

As funny as it was, you felt safer and so much more at ease without the person that was so adamant about wanting to do all of these things, to protect you. How could you not laugh at the irony?

Suddenly, the bitter taste on your tongue didn't feel so bad anymore.

Walking along Gotham streets when it was so quiet still made you feel a bit uneasy, but for the time being you were able to find some small peace with it. After all, who knew when you'd get another breather like this? Especially with whatever business Dick had with you. Vigilante and hero work wasn't exactly known to be light and easy, after all. 

So, you took this moment as it is. Finding odd little details in the night that helped you relax as much as you could before things continued.

Honestly, you didn't think you were ready for whatever Dick was about to talk about or mention, but you doubt any of it could surprise you. After all, in a city where a villain breaking out of the local prison or asylum every now and again during the week was normal, it was hard to be surprised by things related to such occurrences. Since, it even felt like someone was trying to blow up the place at least twice a month, and robberies were so common that it was a wonder that anyone had any fortune left to protect at all.

Though it did still make you curious about what’s going on. 

Obviously, it couldn't be any good, but it just seems too… quiet to be anyone that Gotham had already seen before. Seeing as the usual villains and whatnot always made some kind of mess, or made things as extravagant and entertaining as possible. Almost like a certain clown that loved to try and run circles around a certain bat.

Regardless of that, however, you were still more curious about why Dick — or any of the others, really — had bothered to seek you out at all. Sure, the first thing that came to mind was that they need you for something, rather that be for help or something else entirely, but that's only because it made the most sense to you. Why else would they try to find out where you live? You couldn't think of another reason. Though, again, maybe that was because they had ignored you for so long? Even then, you can't think of anything else. 

Besides help and such, nothing else made any logical sense to you. There is no other reason. There couldn't be, and if there is — you couldn't think of it. They couldn't just be here for you. They almost weren't capable of it. You're sure, since they have made it very clear a long time ago. You were just too naive and blind to see it at first, but now you did, and you don't plan on becoming blind to that again…

Nevertheless, you continue on your little path.

Now that Dick wasn't with you, your journey to the park was short, and much more peaceful and quiet. It was almost calm in an odd way, but you appreciated it all the same.

The park held that strange feeling of abandonment and emptiness that most of Gotham seemed to have tonight — thanks to whatever was going on — but you manage to ignore it for the most part. Making your way around the park, your pace was slower and your breath was a bit heavier. You felt like you were prolonging the inevitable, and such a feeling spawned so much dread that you almost choked on it. However, you manage, and instead try to find a good place to sit and wait for the time being.

Sure, it would be easy to leave and just go on with your night, but you did want to stay true to your word even if only a little. It's the least you could do, since this would be the last thing you'd ever do for any of them, anyway. 

Besides, you were better than them in that way — following through with what you said, instead of saying a ‘maybe’ that'll never come, or a ‘next time’ that'll never arrive. Always stuck to a tomorrow that was always just out of reach.

Your words held meaning, unlike theirs.

Moving on, you eventually found a good spot. It was closer to the center of the park, and the moon could be seen as clearly as it could be with all of the clouds passing by, and building up. The air had an odd moist and damp feeling to it, and it made you think that it might rain after all, seeing as you remember hearing something about it earlier in the day. Yet, that just gave you all the more reason to hope that this whole thing would be wrapped up soon. Though whether that happened with Dick not showing up, or him making good time and keeping things short and simple, you didn't care.

Even if you did hope that he just wouldn't show. For both his sake, and your own.

Settling down on a park bench off to the side of the path, you took a big breath, before letting it all out. You still don't have a good feeling about this, but you'd take all the little victories you could. Since, you managed to avoid going to the manor and clock tower by some miracle, and even got Dick to leave you alone for a little while. Even if a small part of yourself did wish that you had pissed him off enough for him to leave you alone, you wouldn't count on it. He seemed oddly stubborn about sticking around, or to at least keep you around him, and though it made you feel uncomfortable, it unfortunately meant that there was a chance that he'd actually show up again.

You'd pray if you had any faith left, but you don't. Not at the moment, and certainly not with that possibility hanging over your head, just waiting to drop and crush you under its weight. Though for now, you'd try to not think about it as you look around, taking in the dark scenery instead.

The darkness of the night shaded over the park in an ominous, beautiful way. With the trees looming over you, and their leaves providing more shade than necessary. As if trying to protect you from the moon's stare as much as they could. The clouds slowly crawled over the sky, waiting for the perfect opportunity to drop all they were carrying — and leave the burden for Gotham to hold. They covered what could be made out of the blank, pitch black void that was the night sky, with the moon trying its hardest to shine through. To take a glimpse of the chaos below, and judge you in its silence.

A loose breeze drifts by, causing you to shiver thanks to its added chill over the night's natural coolness. The sounds of nature were hardly audible, as if even the insects have been silenced by whatever is going on, and the only thing you could hear was that constant, sickening snapping and cracking of broken bones, and that popping from joints getting dislocated. Even if such noises were much fainter now, thanks to the spot you've chosen, they still managed to reach you here, and dominate all other noises that tried to make themselves known, with its echo.

You could only sympathize with their desperation to be heard, to be noticed — only for the violence to cover all of their efforts. Maybe you'd even pity them, but you already felt foolish over your emotions, and feeling sympathy over noises was silly enough. You have already made enough humorous and dumb choices tonight, so you'd at least try to not make another. Even if you bothering to actually wait here, instead of leaving right away, is dumb enough.

You don't know if it was hilarious or sad how many stupid choices you’re making in one night, and all because of the people you are trying to leave behind. People you were so sure would never bother to look for you or even give you a single thought, and yet here you are now. Waiting for one of them to show up – only because suddenly he couldn't leave you alone. Almost like he couldn't afford to, and now you couldn't help but debate over the humor and sadness of that.

Of course it had to be now, it had to be tonight, that one of them showed up - but you don't know what exactly you're expecting. After all, if one of them were to try and show their face to you despite everything, it would be at the worst time possible. It felt fitting in an odd way, so maybe it was only right that things went down like this. That life throw one of the biggest ‘fuck you's it could at you, during a time where you are trying to recover. To heal. To get better.

Of course he just had to show his face when you were done with him — with them, and their whole family. It had to be now, when you're trying to move on, did an effort have to be made. It couldn't be while you were in the manor - when you were trying to do the same.

… Maybe you should've let him bust open the door to your apartment after all, and just ran away while you still had the chance. 

Yet, as if knowing you were thinking of walking away while he still wasn't around, Dick finally appeared and made himself known with a little whistle.

You turn your head and face him, his appearance almost making you laugh, but you didn't have it in you to do so. Much too exhausted and fatigued to even try, and your feelings were too mixed up to even consider the thought. Though you did have to admit, he did look a little funny.

Dick almost looked out of breath, but he still manages a smile when you turn to look at him. The clothes he wore looked strangely baggy, and you could've sworn that you saw the smallest glimpses of various price tags that were tucked away sloppily. Which made it look like he really was in a rush, and… well, you didn't know how to feel about that. Yet, in that same moment, you caught the tiniest bit of his suit right under the shirt he wore. Further ‘hinting’ at the fact that Dick had been in such a hurry that he didn't actually bother to change, and instead opted to cover up his suit.

His mask was off, at least, and for a moment you wondered where he put it until you noticed him subtly stuffing something in his pocket. Which is funny as it is concerning.

Dick wore an oversized coat that he left open, with a collar shirt underneath that had two of the buttons unbuttoned, along with sweatpants and shoes that didn't quite look his size. All in all, he looked like a mess, but Wayne's look good in everything for a reason, you suppose.

“Made it just in time! I told you I would, didn't I?” Dick chuckles, still holding onto the coffee you had given him earlier with one hand. The smile on his face quickly grew into a playful smirk, and you didn't know if you should find it weird or oddly scary how much closer he seems to be to the side of him you've only seen at a distance before. The side you have seen at galas or with his family, occasionally. A side you didn't have any personal experience with until now, and the dread you felt from before only grew at that.

“Um, no, you didn't-” You try to point out, only for him to cut you off.

“Well, it probably just slipped my mind, but I'm here now!” He muses, and you can’t help but find his tone off putting considering how things ended off a few minutes ago. He both looks and sounds way too happy for someone who was so annoyed with you before. 

“I didn't keep you waiting, did I?” Dick steps closer, making his way over to you casually. Not a single trace of his previous demeanor could be found.

You can't help but move a little further away, and bite your tongue. You hoped he would've, that he did, but unfortunately he did make good time. Since, from the moment you sat down, Dick appeared only a minute after, and had it not been for his messy outfit, you would've thought that he had planned this whole thing out — down to the very last second.

“No…” You drag on, looking away once again, trying to hide the disappointment in your voice.

Yet, despite the implications of it, Dick couldn't help but find it… cute, in an odd way. Causing him to exhale softly, his smirk dying back down into a smile. Blue hues shining as they look down at you.

He moves to sit down on the bench — noticing a spot next to you, but deciding to sit beside you instead. Still remaining close, but not getting in your space entirely, since he felt like you both weren't at that point just yet. There was an armrest between the both of you, and he felt as if that'd be enough for now. Even if he did want to move closer, he decides that this was the least he could do for having been ignoring your discomfort and clear nervousness thus far. 

While he still couldn’t fully bring himself to acknowledge or accept it — since he still doesn't want to think about it — he at least wants to try and do this small thing for you.

Though, the space between you and him would never be big enough for you to be comfortable. Since just knowing he was around, and that you were in his space, already made you feel a certain way, but he didn't have to know that. Not that you would tell him, anyway.

Dick took this little opportunity to take a slow, long sip of his coffee. The drink not quite to his liking, but he wouldn't complain since you seem to like that little diner, and the last thing he wants is for your opinion of him to get worse, so he kept his mouth shut. Besides, it wasn't even that bad anyway, especially knowing that it came from a place that you enjoy going to.

Silence was quick to fall over the both of you again. Yet, this time, Dick didn't exactly have a problem with it.

Even if you weren't looking at him, he could still see that little twinkle in your eyes that the faint bits of moonlight were able to show and make clear. How your hair matched you just right, and the way you did it and took care of it completed your look even more. Along with how even the little things on your person said so much, yet so little, about who you are now. About who you have become after all this time. 

A sense of endearment and sentimentality suddenly washes over Dick, and he can't help but feel as if it were just yesterday that you were introduced to the whole family. Though he still couldn't quite describe the look in your eyes then, as there was an unmistakable hint of excitement and unfounded joy that lingered when you first met them all. When you first met him. 

You were such a little thing back then, and you have grown so much since. Dick still can't help but think about it even as he finally pulls the cup away from his lips, and sighs, content.

You were so small, and little. Your face round and youthful, hands soft and delicate - just like everything about you at the time. The world and the people in it were still so new to you, and you looked just about ready to explore it all. To see every little thing you could, and learn about everything that you found. ‘Wonder’ was the first word he thought of when he saw you that day, and looked at your expression. It was full of that child wonderment. 

Yet… look at you now. Grown, and significantly taller than you were before. Face matured and settled, but still did have a youthful look to it. He notes how your hands did seem to be a bit rougher, and instead of delicacy, he found a gentleness that was always there — but is more prominent now. That look of wonder gone, and now replaced with something more. Something complicated and complex in nature, and yet simple all the same. There's a sense of turmoil but… he couldn't look much deeper than that. He can't bring himself to.

Point is, you have clearly changed. 

Sure, he noted how you looked different and everything before, but now that same conclusion felt different in a strange way. Though maybe that was because he wasn't only looking at you now, but seeing you as well.

Dick doesn't just see the change in your clothes, and how your voice has changed its tempo and volume, but some other things as well. Maybe that's because he's able to connect some things he's learned about you over the course of the entire day, back to you and how you showed yourself now. How those details presented themselves in your appearance and mannerisms.

It’s a lot to take in, sure, but in this moment of silence - Dick found himself slowly absorbing all of this information, taking it all in and finding ways to love you through it. Even if the changes made a particular fact all the more clear — despite the time he has missed, he did genuinely love the person you have become. He does now, at least. 

Despite everything he has done to you, or lack thereof, you have managed so much on your own. Despite him and the family not being around when they could've, when they should've, you managed to pave your own path and face all the challenges it brought by yourself - from what Dick could tell anyway. Even if he wasn't fully aware of all you have gone through in his absence, and he knew that as well – you’re still here. You're sitting beside him, looking at the scenery of the park, coffee cup in hand, and just… living in this moment with him.

Dick didn't know when such small things made him feel so happy or content, but in this moment, with you, it's like all he could feel was happy and put together, in a weird way. He doesn't know how to describe it, but now that he's here with you, in your space and presence, he feels… whole. Complete. Like all the missing pieces he didn't even notice were gone, all fell into place when you were around. With you here with him, he feels the happiest he's been in a long while, and he couldn't even begin to explain why.

He's only really known you for a day, but it already felt like he's spent a lifetime with you.

“Hey… Y/n?” He spoke up, breaking the silence between the both of you, looking back at the coffee cup in his hands. “I just want to say that… I'm happy you're here, and that you let me see you.” He begins, slowly looking back at you, an easy but pleasant smile on his face. It was easily the most natural one he's shown you tonight, and his clear unannounced happiness, no matter how light, made the pit in your stomach grow deeper and wider.

Why is he looking at you like that? And why did it hurt to see it now? Why did it relight the fire in your chest, and make it burn - the flames barely tickling your chest from the inside? Why did you feel like this? What did you do to cause him to wear such a smile?

Why now? What was going on?

“I know we haven't talked much, or really hung out, but this… this is nice for what it's worth, and I'm happy that I get the chance to spend this time with you despite everything.” The small bits of moonlight shined in his eyes, almost making Dick appear better than he was. More friendly, charming, and brighter than you saw him as. You couldn't stand the sight. Your dread growing much too big for you to keep looking at him.

So, you look away. Hoping that Dick would get whatever kind of message you were trying to send - and yet, even if he saw it, he didn't bother to decipher it. Words tumbling out of his mouth before he could think them over, too deep in his own feelings to see yours. Though he doesn't seem to mind as he said the words that began to fill his heart, and let them out into the open air. The wind whisking them away, and shoving them into your ears.

“You… mean a lot to me, and I know that, again, we haven’t really done much together, or really spent the most time together either, but- you matter to me. You’re important to me, and I’m sorry that was never made clear before.” He blurts out, heart aching and swelling at his own words, but Dick just couldn’t help himself. He feels like he needs to say something, to say this, and he doesn't want to have to wait any longer to say it. Even if you don’t like him or saw him a certain way, he wants to at least say this. To tell you his truth - his new truth. A truth that is becoming more clear to him as the seconds pass. Seconds he spent with you. “I know that I’ve messed up- a lot, and I know that it isn’t just me that made things turn out like this, but I at least want to let you know that I do care about you. I just…” Dick ran a hand through his hair, pausing for a moment as countless words he wanted to say float around in his head, but he just didn't know how to say them. Or even say them in a way that would get you to understand, or at least hear him out.

He looks away for a moment before looking back at you. Hand dropping and folding around his cup once again. “I’m sorry, for everything. For missing your concerts and performances, and just- everything. I should’ve been there, and even if I was busy, that isn’t an excuse. I should’ve made time for you, I could’ve, and yet it just always slipped my mind and… I should’ve never done that to you. You didn’t- you don’t deserve to go through that, you didn’t have to, and yet you did, and I’m just.. so sorry that now is the time that I’m realizing this. You… you deserve so much more than what we gave you, and I’m sorry if that made you feel any less than what you are- because you are amazing, and wonderful, and bright-!”

“You’re.. you’re a lot of things, and I really couldn’t list them all since I’m still slowly seeing it all for myself. Though even then, we’d be here for a while… wouldn’t we?” Dick chuckles lightly, a tinge of endearment in his tone, with a hint of a softness that was slowly becoming more and more apparent as he went on. His expression softened even more, and yet all you could feel was dread and anger that grew with each sentence that fell out of his mouth.

Was he messing with you? Was Dick trying to make himself feel better about everything, or just mess you up even more? Maybe both?

Why was he saying all of this now? Why tonight? Why now of all times? His words… they couldn’t be true. They can’t be. If they were, if they are – then why did he wait so long? How come he didn’t realize anything sooner? Why couldn’t he realize it sooner? Why now? Why right this minute, when you were almost ready to let go?

Why is he trying to give you hope over a future, a dream, a wish you never thought would come true? That they, indirectly or not, made you believe would never be made into a reality? No matter how much you did, and sacrificed for them behind the scenes? Was he trying to trick you? Did he really believe that you’d allow yourself to become blind again? That you could actually take the little words that he’s saying to you at face value, after all this time? After all of your wasted effort?

Did he really think that he could salvage what little remained of your nonexistent relationship with him, with just a few words and soft smiles? That you would just suddenly be willing to let him back into your life, after you spent the last year or so just trying to make it so that once you left, you’d never have to turn back? After everything he and the others put you through?

You understood that they were busy. That protecting Gotham and Bludhaven were more important to them than you’d ever be. That they care more about their work and their own lives than they never will about anything you’d try to say to them - you understood that well. It was almost impossible not too with how long you’ve had to deal with it, and come to terms with everything over the few months you’ve given yourself to truly soak everything in and reflect. The one time you gave yourself a breather to process all that's happened over the years you wasted on them, and think about how you are going to move forward in your life. How you’re going to deal with the family moving forward, or if you’d ever bother to deal with them at all. Though, you're still in that process, and had yet to really think about what you’d do moving forward.

Yet, Dick just had to show up while you were in that process. He just had to show his face after so long, and do this to you. Torment you with his words, and cause further conflict inside of you that you don’t need. Causing more heartache and pain that you didn’t want, and yet he just had to keep going, he had to keep talking. He couldn’t just walk away again like he had all of those other times when you were fighting to spend time with him, to just mean something to him. Dick just had to show up, and lie to your face about this. He just had to finally notice you, and hurt you more.

“I’m… I’m just really glad I got to see you is all I’m trying to say, I guess. And that I missed you too, in all honesty.”

So he keeps going, it seems. He just has to say that, like you’d believe him. Like you’d truly think that he cared about you more than the criminals in Gotham did. Like he wasn’t just lying to your face in an attempt to try and hurt you more. To crush what little part of your heart you still had given to them, and destroy it entirely. 

Honestly, now it was like he's trying to get you to hate him. To rid of the memories where you used to look up to him, and really tried to see him as your older brother until the reality of it all crushed you. Until reality forced your eyes open, and made you realize the little you had, and the little he cared.

Your own anger was beginning to blind you, and your hatred grew within you - though you hardly found a part of yourself that cared anymore. 

Even if Dick’s words are true to him, they aren't to you, and that’s all you cared about. Since, as far as you know, they were never true until he suddenly felt bad, and this whole thing started.

However, you still try to remain civil. Just taking in a breath, and sighing before looking back at Dick. Exhaustion becoming more evident, anger and hatred beginning to bloom – but you manage to tuck it away for now. No matter how frustrated Dick makes you, you could keep your composer. You could keep yourself together, and by God would you try no matter how much you want to just get up and leave. No matter how much you want to think that he wasn’t worth the time or energy. At least, not anymore.

“Dick, just tell me why you’re here.” You say, getting straight to the point and seemingly completely ignoring what he said before. Not taking his words to heart, no matter how much they sting and add fuel to the flame growing in your chest. 

Dick looks at you confused, a little taken aback by your response, but just pushes it to the side. Only raising a brow, managing to keep up his smile, “What do you mean? I told you already, silly.” He chuckles a bit, his words already pinching at your skin.

“I’m here to see you.”

‘Bullshit.’ You immediately thought, but don’t say out loud. Not yet, anyway.

“It’s obvious that something’s going on, I mean- do you hear the sounds echoing throughout Gotham? Or, hell, how quiet it is besides said noises?” You ask, tone shifting with every word that spilled out of your mouth, undertone unclear, but Dick didn’t like it. “You don’t have to explain what’s going on, but please, just tell me how or if I can help so that we can both go on with our nights? I know you don’t have time for this. Both of us don’t.” 

Dick can only furrow his brows in response, his confusion growing the more you spoke, but also worried about the tone you’re using with him. A tone that was growing increasingly harsh.

“What are you talking about? I never said I needed your help with anything, and didn’t I already mention that the others are handling the situation?” Dick said, genuinely confused, and yet that only seems to make the flame in your chest burn brighter.

“Then what are you doing here? Why are we even talking right now if you don’t need anything from me?” You ask, voice rising in volume a bit before you bring it back down. The little stings Dick’s words left on your skin turning into a grip around your heart. 

“I’ve already told you, Y/n…. I just wanted to see you.” Dick said again, growing a little more worried now.

“Yes, but why? What made you want to see me so badly that you even went out of your way to find out where I live?” You couldn’t help but ask, frustration growing but so did your desperation. Over what, you don’t know, but all you knew was that you want this to be over. You want to go home. You want to be away from Dick. From them.

Even if your home probably wouldn’t feel as safe anymore now that they knew where it is, and you knew that too, but couldn't find it in yourself to care. Anywhere that wasn't in the immediate vicinity of Dick felt better than being here, with him at arm's length.

“I need a reason to see my younger sibling now? I can’t just come visit them?” Dick asks, still worried and confused, yes, but an odd tone of sarcasm seemed to develop under his tongue.

“After months of no contact? After all that’s happened?” You say as a meaningless, humorless laugh escapes you before your voice drops and cements itself, “Yes. Yes you do, because you’ve never visited me before. You’ve never gone out of your way like this, not even to see me in my own room. So why now? Why tonight? Why come see me?”

Your words stung Dick, and you can tell with how he flinches a bit at your words, if only for a brief moment. He even cringes a little, as if they have physically hurt him, but you didn’t react much. You want to know why, because it made no sense to you, and by God did you deserve an answer.

There is no reason why he should’ve come to see you, none. You aren’t related to him, and even if you are by law, he’s never treated you like family in the past - just someone else who lives in the manor, but over time you began to believe that he started to forget that too, with how he’d grow increasingly surprised by seeing you in person when he'd occasionally visit.

You meant nothing to him, last you checked. So what was so important that he and the others needed to find out where you live, and seek you out like this? What was going on?

From how you look at Dick, he can tell you wanted to know. That you want a ‘real’ answer, one that you’d accept, anyway. Along with the fact that you aren’t going to take your words back, finding them to be nothing less than true, and even if they are, they don’t hurt any less. Especially considering how far he’s come today. How much he’s seen, and how his view is beginning to change. How you were growing on him without even knowing it, making him realize that some of it isn’t even you to begin with. Though there wasn’t much he could do about that, not right now. Not with you getting worked up like this, and not with how he's beginning to hurt too.

The truth hurt, it almost always did. Never sparing anyone, and almost acting as a sword rather than weight. A dagger than another page, but paper cuts did exist for a reason – he supposes.

“I.. I know that it might seem hard to believe, considering everything, but that really is all there is to it.” Dick says, trying to explain as he clutches onto the coffee cup in his hands, “I just want to see you because I was worried, and I… I just wanted to make sure you were okay. That’s all.”

“Then what about the others? Why find out where I live? What’s with all the noise?” Your desperation was becoming a little clearer as you spoke quickly, the questions falling out of your mouth as your heart began to squeeze tightly. The smoke that the fire in your chest was creating, started to reach and fill your lungs little by little with each passing second.

“The others are busy taking care of the city, and how else am I supposed to see you? You weren’t answering any of my or Tim’s calls or texts. We…” Dick drags on a little before just sighing, looking dejected, “I was worried about you- I am worried about you. I thought something happened, and I had to know if something did. Is that so wrong? Can I not check on my younger siblings anymore?”

“That's not what I meant, and you know that.” You point out straight away, but did falter the slightest bit when he mentions how you were ignoring them trying to contact you earlier. However, you didn't back down. “And both of you just started contacting me today. I didn't have any time to answer either of you before you showed up at my door.”

“Really? You had absolutely no time at all to pick up the phone? Not even send a quick message, or even read our texts?”

“I was busy? And was doing something else, so I couldn't get to the phone right away.”

“For several hours? Y/n, you've got to be kidding me.” Dick chuckles out, obviously not believing you, which ticks you off even more.

“What, so I can't do other things? I have to be at your every beck and call, now?” You scoff, rolling your eyes. “None of you have ever contacted me first, so I'm sorry that I didn't have any time to respond to whatever you both had to say. I have my own life to deal with, you do know that, right?”

“That's not what I-” Dick cuts himself off, just letting out a sigh before speaking again after thinking over how to reword what he wants to say, “Look, just- what was so important that made it so you couldn't answer the phone?” He asks instead, searching your expression for something, and furrowing his brows when he couldn't find it.

“... That's none of your business.” You answer instead, narrowing your eyes at him a little. Whatever you did in your life, he didn't have to know. He doesn't have the right to know, not anymore. You may have been willing to offer him this one chance to ask something from you to help with whatever is going on, but that was all, and where your generosity ended. It wasn't a chance to reconnect, or to rebuild what never was, and still isn't. 

If there's anything that this whole situation has told you, it's that you shouldn't have tried in the first place - and that maybe, just maybe, you should've left sooner. That was clear to you now. 

“...” It's like Dick could tell things were getting worse this way. He didn't know what was causing it or how, but he could feel it. Especially with how you were growing increasingly upset, and how he was as well. 

So, he tried to settle down a little and just took a breath. At this rate, he could only dread how things would get, and so he at least tried to change the direction of things a bit. Yet, he still couldn't help himself either. Maybe he didn't deserve to know, but he did want to ask. 

“Look, just-” he tries to find the words to say, to not make this whole thing worse than it already is, and settles on a simpler question. One he figures you can handle, one he hopes does what he wants it to do. “Can you at least tell me why you keep ignoring me when I say that I'm here to see you? Or at least why you just… brush it off?” Dick manages to say, eyes never once leaving you, but for a different reason this time.

He just wants you to open up, but how could you do that when he kept you out for so long? When he locked that door so long ago, and forgot where he left the key? Leaving him to never know of the chair you left right under the handle.

“... What do you-”

“You know what I'm talking about, Y/n, just… please.” Dick almost pleads, which makes you uncomfortable. Causing you to press your lips into a thin line once again, “I don't want this to…” he doesn't want to say it outloud. He couldn't bring himself to. Especially when he doesn't want it to be true. To be made into reality.

“I just want to know, Y/n. So please, just tell me? Because I don't understand why you keep avoiding it, or just don't acknowledge it at all.” Dick says instead, which causes you to grow quiet in the process. 

“...”

You couldn't think of anything to say, just being able to look at him before glancing away and taking in a breath of your own. You couldn't bring yourself to answer the question because - what were you supposed to say? What are you supposed to say? The truth? Or make up a lie? Though even if you picked one or the other, would it be for yourself? Or for Dick?

You didn't know, and a special kind of uncertainty came with that, jabbing your gut and making the flame within you crackle harshly. You hate this. You hate this more than what their inaction did to you, and almost as much as the realization that it's because of them that you're in this position to begin with.

“Why do you think?” You begin, emotions and thoughts swarming in your head and squeezing your heart. You want to not care, to brush it all off as you have before, but only find yourself hurting despite everything. Why does your chest hurt so much? Why did it feel like something was pressing against it, threatening to pierce it? “Why do you think that I'm ‘ignoring’ it or just… dismiss it?”

Dick hates how you look away, and the swirl of emotion he saw in your eyes when you looked at him before. Which only made his own emotions grow like a heavy weight, threatening to fall on him. To crush him, and only leave the tiniest parts of himself behind. Parts that still hung onto that false hope he made himself.

He knew, or at least had an idea, but he ignored it. Dick wants to hear it from you, even if he doesn't know what he's hoping for with that. He knows of his faults, and yet not the entirety of them - at least, that was the impression he was getting from all of this.

He isn't blind, but there are only so many things he could let himself see before the ugliness of it all rears its head at him, and snarls. Before the quiet part that he refuses to glance at, becomes loud.

“I… I don't know,” Dick manages to say after a moment, still looking at you as he searches for something, anything that will point things in a different direction. Something that will give the little hope he has anything to cling on to.

Something he doesn't find.

He takes in another breath, “Can you please just… tell me? I do want to know, I really do- so just, please. Tell me why you keep ignoring what I'm saying?”

“I'm not-” You cut yourself off, speaking before you could come up with a response, the words tumbling out of your mouth quickly before you caught yourself and take in a slow, uneven breath. “I'm not ignoring what you're saying. I'm not, but- just…” You drag on before finally letting out a sigh. Some of the tension freeing itself from your body, but not enough for it to let you truly calm down or relax. 

“What do you expect me to do? To say?” You finally manage to voice it outloud, to ask as you look back at Dick briefly. With the moon trying its hardest to peek through the clouds as they begin to fill and crowd the sky. “You haven't checked up on me in all the years I was in the manor, and, hell, I doubt you even know where my room is-”

“I know where it is.”

“- and even if you do, that doesn't change what happened. Or, really, what didn't.” You narrow your eyes at Dick's sudden words, but don't comment on them as you continue, voice wavering slightly, “You've… never checked up on me before, or even asked me if I was okay- we barely even greeted each other, and I didn't see you around all that often. I didn't get to. So I'm sorry if it's hard for me to believe that you just suddenly care, or want to check up on me after all this time.” You say, still biting your tongue and holding yourself back from sharing more than you should. From giving more than you already have.

“...” Dick's lips press into a thin line before he goes to speak again, “I understand that, but… why can't that change now? Why can't I care about you now?” 

“It isn't about what you can and can't do, Dick. Nor what can be changed now or not, it's…” A quick, small groan escapes you as you try to gather the words you want to say, and finally let them out when you do, “it's what I'm used to, Dick. That's just how it is.”

Finally, dread made its way into Dick’s heart as well, “So… that's it? You're just ‘used to it’? And I can't change that?”

“I don’t know, can you?” You asked sarcastically in a dead tone, already tired of all of this, and yet the fire in your chest continues to burn ever so brightly. “You haven’t really done a good job of that thus far, if that's what you’re trying to do. I’ll say that much.” Your words hurt, you could tell right away. The way he looked at you said everything, but you didn’t try to look deeper than what presented itself on the surface. 

“This isn’t some kind of…. ‘reconnecting session’, stuff like that doesn’t really matter. I thought something serious- something important was going on, or had happened, that’s why I bothered with… all of this.” You point out and explain, only watching as the expression on Dick’s face morphed into something else. Something you couldn’t decipher, but didn’t like looking at. A face that made your stomach twist, with dread pouring out of every crevasse it could manage.

“And why would you think that? I don’t remember saying anything that would hint at that, and even then I would’ve said it outright.”

“You suddenly appeared at my door in the suit, and at some point was banging on it. How could I not think something was going on? Or that you didn’t need something from me? That something serious wasn’t happening? Especially when I don’t remember telling any of you where I live-”

“Okay, okay. I… I get it,” He didn’t, at least maybe not to the extent one would hope he would, but he didn’t want to argue. Not here, and not with you. Especially not when he was really beginning to see you. “But still… I want to change that. I want to make it up to you and fix things. Is that so bad?”

“...” You had no response to that, but even if you did, what could you say? You had imagined countless instances like this, but those situations weren’t real — this one was. In those scenarios, you always had something to say, rather it be good or bad, and you always knew what to do. Yet here, now that it was actually happening, you had nothing. You didn’t know what to do or say, and even if you did have some things you wanted to just let spill out, you kept them in. You didn’t want things to get worse either, but the more Dick talked, the harder that became.

Why couldn’t he just be the person from your thoughts and dreams? The person you always saw him as until now?

“I just…” Dick tries to gather his thoughts, not exactly liking your silence but trying to push on anyway. He finally had a chance, and he’d be damned to not take it. “I want to make things right, and yeah, maybe it's late- really, um, late, but I still want to try.” He manages to say, taking a small, quick breath before he continues, an easy smile trying to settle on his face.

“You deserve better, and I want to be better for you. Things may not be the same, and sure, it might be a bit awkward-” He chuckles slightly in between his words, “-but I think that we can… work it out if you just give it a try. Give me a chance-”

“But I did.” You manage to say, cutting Dick off. He has to fight for his smile to not falter immediately, unaware of how your heart pounded harshly in your chest, the fire it held growing and clawing at the bars of its cage that was your ribs and flesh. Scorching your lungs, and the smoke causing your throat to close, making it harder to breathe.

“... What?” Dick said, partially confused but still trying to at least seem optimistic. A weight of its own beginning to press down on him.

“... What do you think I did all of this time?” You ask, looking away for a moment, glancing up at the covered moon before looking back at Dick, “What do you think I did all of those years I spent at the manor? Before I decided to move out, and be on my own?” 

“...” Dick didn’t have an answer, not one he said right away, anyway. Not one that wouldn’t make him look bad, but he didn’t know what was worse. Staying quiet when he knew a part of it, or saying the part he knew and risk being wrong, revealing how he still didn’t know the full picture despite everything. Despite getting a glance into a life he knew he wasn’t involved in, and feeling more guilty all the while.

However, you decide that his small bit of silence was enough of an answer, and just as Dick opened his mouth to say something, you spoke again. “Most of my time in the manor I’ve spent trying to give you chances- to give the others a chance. Trying to give opportunities to just do something, try anything, and… well,” You look away fully this time, caressing the coffee cup in your hand, it’s dying warm doing little to help you, causing you to draw your attention to the shaded greenery of the park instead.

“We both know how that turned out.”

If your words didn’t hurt him before, they definitely did now. Even as Dick fought to keep that smile of his up, it was pointless. You were right, and he knew that. Even if he didn’t know the true extent of your words, he was at least aware of the times where you’d try to get them to see you perform, to hear your songs and listen to your music that had gotten you this far. He knew that much, and yet he still couldn’t help but try. He wants to mean more to you, to do what he hasn’t done up until this point, to truly be your older brother, to be your family - despite how long he’s been unable to do that.

“I… I know, and I’m sorry.” Dick could only say that much, even if it did little in the long run, and a part of himself could tell that his words only made whatever you were feeling worse as you inched away from him, the sight of the small action breaking his heart even more.

“Maybe that doesn’t mean much, but it’s true. I’m just… sorry that things turned out this way. That we- that I never noticed how hard you were trying until now, and even if it is late, I want to be honest and say that I’m sorry.” He adds, finally managing to look away as well as he looked down at the cup in his hands, thoughts swarming and eating away at his heart. Even if they were going too fast for him to process them all, they hurt him all the same and caused his worry to grow. “I’m sorry for everything, for never noticing what was going on or the extent of it, or appreciating the effort you tried to put in for our attention, for just not… being around. You deserve better- and I want to give that. I want to give you want you deserve and finally be-”

“Stop.” You said under your breath, voice wavering as you take in a shaky breath. Yet, even as it falls upon deaf ears, and Dick couldn’t make out exactly what you said, he still pauses for a moment before speaking again.

“... I just want to fix things, Y/n.” Dick says instead, but it doesn’t make you feel any better, nothing does. 

“You mean a lot to me.” You just want him to stop. 

“And maybe that’s… weird to hear with everything that’s happened. But it is true, and I’m sorry I never made that clear before.” You want him to stop lying to you, to stop trying to make you feel better. You’ve been doing fine on your own without him, without them, and so the only thing you wanted now was for Dick to stop and leave. To act like he had before, and go back to ignoring you.

“So… let’s change that, okay? I… I want to spend more time with you.” You want him to shut up. You want it so bad that it hurts to hear him talk as he goes on and on. His voice ringing in your ears to a point you’re convinced that they’ll bleed if this continues on for any longer. If he continues to talk for any longer. 

“I’m being honest, I really want to try and be your-”

“Stop… please, just- just stop.” You manage to say, voice small and wavering as you try to take in another breath. You want to be unbothered, unhurt, painless, and numb, but you can’t and you don’t know why. You thought you had gotten used to this, and you had, but to hear that - to hear the words you’ve wanted to hear for so many years - that hurt more than anything else. The pain was indescribable, and its result only made that fire grow, the flames scratching at your chest even harder, and your heart bleeding as a result.

Suddenly, all the progress you’ve made over all the months you’ve been away feel useless now. Reduced to nothing in Dick’s presence as his words stripped down your walls in the most violent, volatile ways possible.

Once upon a time, you fought to have a single conversation with him that lasted more than just a few short exchanges, and now you’d do anything to have that back. For him to go back to the Dick you grew up with, the one you fought to even have to look at you for more than a few seconds.

“You can’t do this to me.” You said without thinking, voice weak and shaky as you scramble to keep yourself together, to hold back tears that you refuse to spill – refusing to shed any more over them. Refusing to let all of your progress go to waste just like that.

You were happy, you have been happy these past few months, and you refuse for that to be taken away from you.

“What? Y/n, what do you mean-” Dick tries to speak, but you don’t give him the luxury, not after this. Not after what he’s been doing to you.

“You can’t do this to me,” You repeat, trying to breathe and fight past the smoke building in your lungs, nearly gasping for air as your teeth begin to grind, “you can’t- you just can’t. So stop… please just..” You try to take in another breath, no matter how small it is or strangled it feels.

“Just. Stop.”

“...” It’s like no matter what Dick tries to do, things end up becoming worse, and he hates that he doesn’t know why. He can't understand why. 

Clearly he’s hurting you, he could see that no matter how much he doesn’t want to, but he doesn’t know what he’s saying that’s hurting you. He doesn’t know what he’s doing that’s causing you to become so upset. 

After all, don’t you want this? Don’t you want him to try? For your efforts to be reciprocated? Don’t you want to be family too? For him to try and be what he’s supposed to have been all of this time? Don’t you want him to try and be your big brother? 

You couldn’t have given up yet, right? There was no way you could have. You couldn’t have given up after all you have done, after all the awards and such he saw that you’ve earned over the years – awards that were still in your room. You couldn’t have given up. That's impossible, there’s no way. No one would throw all of that away, right? No one would do all that you have, only to just put it all behind them - not anyone that Dick could think of at the moment.

… He hated how he thought of it anyway. How the thought creeped into his mind, and remained there. Letting his dread and worry grow as reality began to sneak its way into his brain. 

Dick doesn’t want to think about it – let along consider the idea, but this isn’t about him. This isn’t about what he thinks or feels.

This is about you, and despite his words, he hates that he had forgotten that already.

“Y/n,” He calls out to you softly, really trying this time, and you hate that detail with all of your heart, “can you just please tell me what’s wrong?” Dick’s words make you physically pause, even causing your rushing thoughts to come to a halt. They repeat in your head once more, and you can only think one thing.

Is he seriously asking you that?

“I know that you’re upset, but I want to work through this with you. So, just tell me so I can help, okay-?”

“Stop- God, just please stop, Dick.” You manage to say, already getting slightly choked up before you manage to shakily exhale, trying your hardest to keep it together as your heart squeezes and your chest tightens. You can’t bring yourself to look at Dick, but your teeth grind as you scramble to keep the flames eating up your body from the inside, trapped and hidden away.

“You can’t do this to me,” You say more desperately than you wanted to, a few tears developing that you fight back violently to keep them from spilling, your own teeth getting crushed and feel as if they were beginning to chip and break with how hard they’re grinding against each other. “You can’t- you can’t-” You struggle to get the words out, nearly gasping for air as that sickening, thick smoke threatens to escape your lungs.

“You can’t do this to me, you can’t give me hope.” You finally say, voice straining as your breath trembles. When you finally do look at Dick, neither of your expressions are good ones. Both filled with mixes of emotions, but his was more deep and almost controlled, while yours was frantic and ever changing.

“... What?”

“After all of this time, after everything- everything I’ve been put through. Everything I’ve been trying to move on from-” You struggle to breathe momentarily, but manage to get yet another gasp of air before continuing, “you can’t just try and give me hope like that. You can’t. You just- can’t.”

Now it’s Dick’s turn to pause as he processes what you said, each word making the weight in his chest sink deeper and deeper until it reaches his stomach. The very thing he seems to dread is becoming more real with every minute that passes and he hates that more than anything. He wants to ignore it, to push past it, but how can he do that when it’s right in front of him? How can he do that when something worse could be laying underneath everything?

He doesn’t want to think about it, and so he doesn’t and tries to tuck it away as he goes on to say, “But… why? Why can’t I give that to you? Why can’t I try to help you?”

“Dick, please, for the love of god just-” You want to say it, you really do, but manage to hold yourself back with the little self control you have, and simply just take in the biggest breath you can manage, and sigh just as deeply. “Nevermind, and just- you know what? We’re… we’re done here.” You say instead. Placing your coffee cup on the bench, not even caring that you barely finished the drink, and move to stand up.

“What? Wait- what?” Dick asks, sitting up and tensing when you stand, but not making a move just yet, even if it was clear that he’d do something. What, you don’t know, but you didn’t notice anyway as you were too focused on yourself and getting out of this situation.

“We’re done here, what else do I have to say?” You don’t look back at Dick, instead continue to try and steady your breath. Trying to calm yourself down, and finally do something to quell the burning flames inside your chest, “This isn’t going anywhere, and we aren’t discussing anything important, so… let’s call it here. I’m leaving.” You say outright, being blunt this time as you make a move to step away-

Only to be stopped when Dick suddenly grabs your wrist, his grasp a touch too tight.

“Hold on- who said you get to decide that?” Dick asks, having sprung up to grab you as swiftly and quickly as he did, a flash of panic showing on his face before he pushed it aside and swallowed his nerves. He tries to manage another smile, even if it doesn’t reach his eyes yet again, “Let’s just talk about this, okay? There’s no need to overreact.”

“Overreact…?” You glance back at him, physically feeling as all of your previous progress to calm yourself was quickly diminishing, the fire only roaring to life at Dick’s words, and it’s like he could feel it too with how his smile faltered the smallest bit before he tried to pick it up again.

“Okay- maybe not overreact, but we can still talk about this… can’t we?” He says instead, as if realizing his mistake once you point it out. Scrambling for something, anything.

You don’t say anything right away, your chest only hurting even more, “And talk about what, exactly?” You ask, just barely being able to hear the clouds overhead groan in displeasure, “What is there to talk about? We have nothing to discuss, and so we should just end things here.”

An airy laugh escapes Dick, almost as he can’t believe what you’re saying, and yet he continues to stare at you. All he does is raise a brow, his heart pounding as that weight in his stomach drops further, “About… everything?” He says, as if a little unsure of how to word it, but keeps going anyway, “About the family, about us, about you- everything! What isn’t there to talk about?” He counters, furrowing his brows a little.

He knows you want to leave, but he can’t bring himself to let you go. Not when he doesn’t know when he’ll have this chance again. Not when he’s so close – but to what, he doesn’t know anymore. All he knows is that it deals with you, and that’s enough for him.

“... But there isn’t anything important to talk about.” You point out as if it was obvious, raising a brow of your own as you look back at Dick, ignoring how the longer Dick held onto your wrist, the heavier your dread became. Nearly making it impossible to breathe despite how you were trying to act now,  “Again, I even bothered to do any of this because I thought something was going on or that you needed something from me, and I turned out to be wrong, so there’s no other reason for me to be here.” You try to be logical, or seem that way, anyway. You try to give whatever bullshit reason you can, saying anything that you hope would just get Dick away from you and just let you go.

“...” Dick hated your words with a burning passion he didn’t even know he was capable of feeling, and the breathy laugh of disbelief that escaped him only furthered his own change of heart, “So I’m not important to you? Our family isn’t important to you? Because of everything that’s happened? So our effort to change everything isn’t important to you? It matters that little to you now that you’ve lived on your own for… what, a few months?”

“What are you talking about? You’re asking me that as if you know me, and- news flash, you don’t. So get a hold of yourself- and let me go already!” You yank your wrist away from Dick’s grasp, pulling it back towards you harshly.

The moment your wrist leaves his grasp, his hand twitches, but he manages to hold himself back and just let his hand fold into a fist as it falls back to his side. His eyes pinned on you once again, never leaving you, “Why can’t I get to know you now? Why can’t that change, Y/n?” He asks, his own tone changing without him noticing, making it sharper than he meant it to be, “Why can’t you just let me in?”

The visceral hatred those words spawn in you is hotter than words can describe, and felt as if it was burning right through your chest, melting your muscles and organs down to nothing. You not only struggled to breathe, but it hurt to even take in the smallest breath. “‘Why’…? You’re asking me, ‘why’?” A small, airy, pathetic laugh escapes you, a look of disbelief clear on your face.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s because of the years that have passed? That every attempt I’ve made to do what you’re asking me right now- was ignored until I didn’t try anymore? Until I go off and try to actually live my life, that you ask for me to let you in? For things to change?” You almost spat out, barely managing to take in a steady breath, “I don’t know, Dick. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

Dick could barely pull himself together. Everything was falling apart, and even if he could see that, he could barely get a grasp on his own emotions that he was failing to calm down. He wants you to understand, and he wants to understand you too, but god was everything making it so hard. He just couldn’t understand why you were being so stubborn about this, and why you wouldn’t just hear him out. 

So, in the midst of his own frustration, he tsked and spoke without thinking.

“I haven’t done anything to you! Why are you acting like this?” The moment those words left Dick, his eyes widened and he scrambled to recover, “Wait, I didn’t mean-”

“Isn’t that the point?” You cut Dick off, the smoke finally escaping your lungs as you furrowed your brows, chest tightening as more unwanted tears began to build, “That you did nothing? That you- and everyone else didn’t do a goddamn thing?”

“You try to act like I owe you something. Like I owe you this. Like I owe you my time, but you know what? You really don’t, because back then? I clearly didn’t deserve yours. I wasn’t worth your time, and now, years later, you think that I owe you mine? That you can just say whatever the hell you want to my face, because I dared to try and be respectful and civil and do all of this shit for you?” There was no holding back anymore, not when Dick dared to say something like that to your face when you’ve been trying so hard to act calm and civil around him. To give him a chance to say his piece and leave.

The one time you tried to do something for them, for him, after months of being away from all of them, and he dared to say something like that to you?

“Then think again. Because unlike before, I have some god damn self respect and won’t stand for your bullshit anymore.” You spat out as the sky above growled even louder, “You don’t get to say that to me, Grayson.”

Yet, despite your words, a single measly tear manages to slip past your defenses and slowly, painstakingly roll down your cheek. The clouds above seem to have taken that as some sort of sign, as a few small drops of water fell from the sky and hit the pavement under your feet.

Dick pauses after that, if only for a moment as he looks over your expression before sighing. “Okay- fine, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that… but,” he took a short breath before saying, “that still doesn’t answer my question, Y/n.”

“...” All you could do was stare at him. Another pathetic, airy laugh escaping you all the while. He really was unbelievable.

“Which one? The one where you asked why things can’t change? Why I won’t ‘let you in’? Or why I’m ‘acting like this’?” Dick clenches his hands into fists, squeezing them before he lets go.

“Why can’t things change, why can’t the relationship between us change?” You hate the tone he used and how the look he gave you expressed and showed more than words could describe. A certain desperation in his eyes that you wish didn’t exist, that you didn’t notice.

“You never showed me that it could change. That it would always stay the same as it has for the past few years-”

“But why does back then matter? Why can’t we focus on now? On this?” He gestured between the two of you, “Can’t we just- I don’t know… move on from that?” You didn’t know if you wanted to laugh, or actually allow yourself to cry, especially when a few more raindrops fell from the sky. He couldn’t be serious, could he? Did Dick actually just say that, and to you of all people?

“Move on?” You say, a few more tears spilling despite your efforts to stop them, their touch burning your skin and sinking into it like acid, “You want me to move on from that? Move on from the years of my life that you weren’t a part of? To just forget all that’s happened?”

“You don’t have to forget… maybe just, push it aside so that we can work on this! On us…” Dick says, dragging on a little before he takes in another quick breath, “Is that so bad? Don’t you want to be family-?”

“You don’t get to say that to me.” You immediately cut him off the moment Dick even tries to mention family again, “You don’t get to say what I want or what I have to do- after everything I’ve done for you! For the others-! You don’t get to say that to me anymore!”

“Y/n, please, just calm down-”

“No! You don’t get to do this to me! To say all of this shit to my face-” You struggle to speak, your words catching in your throat and nearly choking you, but you manage to continue. To continue to say your part, and finally say the words your heart has been longing to say, to give yourself this much, to finally feel this out, “Do you even know how much I’ve done for you- all of you? How much time I spent doing all of these things I thought you guys liked just so that I had a chance to hold a conversation with any of you? To just mean something? To actually be part of the family, only for no one to show up-?”

“No one asked you to do those things! No one asked you to do anything!” Dick snaps, but immediately tries to reel it back, “I understand that things didn’t work out before, but I’m here now, aren’t I?”

Your brows furrow even more, and your teeth grind so hard that it feels like they’re chipping away, “No one had to ask! Hell- none of you ended up caring anyway! It was a waste!” You shout, voice raising the more you talked, tears mixing with the drizzling rain, “It was for you- I did everything I could think of to just talk to you, and now you want me to do more for you? After everything I’ve already done? After all the effort that was put to waste because of you?” At this rate, you knew you weren’t talking to just Dick anymore. Instead, he acted as an extension, in your mind. An extension to something bigger, something greater than himself. Something more than he was.

Dick falters, but just sighs again, “No one told you to do all of that,Y/n]. You didn’t have to do anything but just try to-”

“Try to what, Grayson? Try to what?” You cut him off, eyes swirling with untold emotion as your gaze pierces into him, “Go on, tell me what else I had to do. What I should’ve done.”

“...” Dick looks at you for a moment before speaking again with a small huff, “You could’ve tried a different approach, or maybe, talked to us?”

“...” You don’t know what you want to do more; try to strangle Dick, cry harder, or leave again after trying to kill him. “You did not just say that.” You manage to laugh out, but it’s broken and far from genuine. The humor in it long gone, and all that was left was a sickening, uncomfortable emptiness where it once remained. 

“Well, I’m just saying-”

“You did not just say that shit to me when you’ve been the one shooting down every conversation I’ve tried to have with you. You- the person who’s supposed to be the ‘family man’, and we’ve barely even talked. And let me tell you now, I’m not the one who hasn’t been trying to talk or avoiding it.” A pained smile crept up your face as you laughed breathlessly in between your words once more. Not even caring anymore as you let the fire burst from your chest, and have its ashes and smoke spill out of you.

Dick narrows his eyes and furrows his brows a bit, “‘Avoiding it’? What the hell are you talking about? I haven’t been avoiding you-”

“Then please explain where the hell you’ve been all of my life until now? Why you could never follow through with what you’d always tell me? Why you come to me now, when I gave you years to do or say anything?”

“I… I was busy, okay? You know that,” He tried to lighten his tone with a chuckle but it did little to help, and only showed his own strain, “I don’t always have time to come to Gotham-”

“But you make the time to do it anyway. You make time to visit, especially when it comes to Damian.” When Dick falls silent again for a moment, you take in a shaky breath and sniffle slightly, feeling awful in every sense of the word, “I guess I just wasn’t worth it, right? I wasn’t worthy of your oh so precious time, but everyone else was. Something else was.” Your expression darkens slightly as your strained smile drops completely.

“There’s always something else, right? Something else to do, someone else to see. You could make time, alright, but just couldn’t for me.”

“That’s not what I’m saying, Y/n.”

“Then please, enlighten me, what are you saying, Grayson?” Dick hates every time you say that, every time you refer to him by his last name. It feels like there's a deeper meaning to it that he refuses to see, and just hearing you call him that instead of anything else only forces him to remember that. To remind him of his own faults, both past and present.

Maybe he'd wonder how he keeps messing things up or why he keeps saying everything besides what he actually wants to say, but he's too deep in his own feelings to even think about that. Even if the answer laid within the action itself.

“Saving the city- having to look after Bludhaven and Gotham sometimes, and even the world on occasion- doesn't really give anyone a lot of time to do certain things. You know I'm not over all the time, and that I'm not always… y'know.”

“Dick Grayson?”

“Yeah! And just…” he took a breath before sighing once again, “All I'm saying is that a different approach could've been taken.” You hate how every word he said only seemed to validate concerns you had in the past. Thoughts that still liked to linger every now and then when you caught yourself still thinking about what could've been, and if certain things happened, would that really change anything?

It's funny that only now were you truly beginning to think otherwise.

“So… what?” You say in a dry voice, “Are you saying that I should’ve been just like you? Just like the others- and give up my dream, what I wanted to do- give up my passion, because at least then I would be able to talk to you? Because I would have a higher chance of even seeing you?”

“That's not what I mean, Y/n, and you know that-”

“No. No I don't. I don't know that, and honestly? I have no idea what the hell you’re even trying to tell me right now besides that I should’ve tried harder. That I didn't do enough, because clearly- spending all of my time trying to do things for you, to accommodate for the whole fucking family that couldn't even stand for me to be in their presence for even a few seconds-” You took a shaky breath, more tears spilling out and escaping you, more falling than you would've liked, “that's not enough. Wasting my life away and trying to do everything I could to the point where it put my health at risk- that wasn't enough. I should’ve just dropped everything and followed everyone else instead of trying to find an alternative, because there was no alternative, right? Is that what you're trying to say?”

For once, Dick was speechless and had nothing to say, and his silence only made you hurt more. It's like you were waiting for what felt like the inevitable.

“What else am I supposed to do, huh? What else haven't I done? Is nothing else good enough for you? Is that really the only way I could've been with you? To see you, to actually talk with you and all the others? To be part of the family? Is that what it would've taken?” You're nearly gasping for air at this rate, with every word you say only carving deeper into your heart, and getting harder to say as you struggle to voice them aloud. Nearly choking on both your words and tears, and yet you push on.

“Did I really have to give up on my passion- my dreams to have a better chance to be something to you?”

“Y/n, that's not what I mean. Doing it wouldn't have gotten in the way-”

“You know that's bullshit! You act like the line of work you do doesn't take over your life! Like you don't think about it everyday- like you aren't constantly in danger!” At this point you're shouting and you barely even realize it, tears flowing freely now as they burn into your cheeks and crash down on the pavement below, “Is it so bad that I don't want that? That I don't want to put my life at risk? That I don't want to live your life?!”

“Maybe you enjoy that. Maybe you like that chaos and constantly putting your life on the line- but some people don't! Maybe you're made for that kind of life, but I'm not! I want to live my own life without having to be even more worried about my own well-being and safety!”

“Y/n, please- calm down! I don't want to fight, I-” Dick took a quick breath, his own heart squeezing as he tries to remain stable, to remain calm. Even if it felt like he was watching his whole world crumble before him, each tear you shed stabbing into him, and every word that spilled out just twisted the knives as they dug deeper into his chest and body. “I understand what you mean, but you have to realize-”

“Realize what? That everything I did was for nothing?” Thinking it was one thing, but saying it out loud was another. The words weighed heavy on your tongue, and the more you tried to say them the more choked up you became. “That all of my effort was in vain, and I should’ve given up while I was ahead? Because that's the impression I'm getting right now-”

“That's not what I meant, Y/n. I… I didn't mean it like that.”

“But how else could you have possibly meant it? How else am I supposed to interpret that?” You laughed again, but it was just as sad and pathetic as the last, “You can't expect me to just know these things, Grayson, especially considering everything and just-” You felt like you were going to tear your hair out, like you were going to collapse and truly break. Yet you managed to stand, and speak again no matter how weak your voice is.

“You were never there for me, none of you were.” Your hands are shaking and your face burns, voice cracking in every way possible, and you hate this feeling. Yet above all else, you hate how he made you feel like this, “I could show up at the manor, bloodied and bruised, and no one- no one would notice or bat an eye. I could be wearing a cast and have crutches, and yet not a single person besides Alfred would see it or comment on it. I could be at the hospital and no one would show up, not one of you-”

“Wait… what-?” Dick tried to speak, but you wouldn’t let him, you couldn’t.

“You were never there when I needed you. You never checked up on me, you barely even noticed me-” again, you suck in another breath, barely able to take it in, “do you know what I’ve had to deal with on my own? How much it cost me? How much it hurt me-?”

“Wait, wait- hold on! You’ve been hurt?” Dick managed to cut you off, “I… I never heard about this.”

“Of course you haven't!” You couldn't help but laugh, more tears spilling and leaving scars on your face with how badly they burned into your skin, “You hardly even noticed, how can you expect to hear about it?”

“You didn't tell me- you didn't tell anyone! How- how am I supposed to know about these things when you won't even tell anyone? When you won't tell me?” Dick can feel himself begin to tear up, but he keeps it all down. He was frustrated, and even if it wasn't directed towards you, he couldn't keep his big mouth shut. Even if by the looks of things - you couldn't either, even if that was for a different reason.

Maybe you both were one in the same, but different in some ways. Dick would feel stupid if he noticed it, but of course he couldn't — not at the moment. Not with how things are going.

If only he noticed that sooner. If only he had done a lot of things sooner – then both of you wouldn't be in this position. You wouldn't be in this position.

Yet, he couldn't help himself. Both of you couldn't, in a way.

“I can't read your mind, Y/n! I'm not even at the manor half the time- how am I supposed to notice? You can't just expect me to suddenly know-”

“But you visit enough for the others? For any one of them you'd come rushing over, especially if it was for Damian-”

“At least he tells me when he gets hurt!”

“Are we talking about the same kid right now? God, and here I thought that he was your favorite.”

“‘Favorite’?” Dick chuckled out humorlessly, feeling something in him break at your words. “I don't have any favorites-”

“That is such bullshit, Grayson, and you fucking know that.” You couldn't help but sneer, everything you tried to keep inside finally rearing its ugly head as the lid you tried to put on your emotions flew off, leaving you feeling nothing but unapologetic rage. “You play favorites all the time, but I wouldn't know that, would I? I'm probably your least-”

“Don't say that. You're not. You never were.”

“Right! Yeah, you're right. After all, I'm not even on the list, am I? How can I be the least when you barely even acknowledge me-?”

“I didn't-” Dick just cuts himself off, sighing before he continues, not being able to stop the scoff that slips past, “I didn't mean it like that. You're important to me, Y/n, how many times do I have to say that? It's like you're trying to put words in my mouth at this rate.”

“Well, excuse me for not believing you considering that, oh, I don't know, I've been ignored by you for years? That-”

“‘Ignored’? I haven’t been ignoring you, no one has-”

“Really? Are you really trying to say that now-?”

“I understand that you're frustrated, okay? That you have all the reason to be mad- but no one has ignored you. I haven't ignored you-”

“BULLSHIT! That is bull-SHIT!” You scream before you even notice the words had left your mouth in the first place, “You would have said that before it that was the case! And even then- how the hell do you explain this entire shit show? How do you even dare to try and explain where the fuck ANY of you have been?! Because people can only be so ignorant and stupid until others begin to think it's intentional and you're doing it on god-damn purpose-!” Broken, harsh chuckles escape you - slipping in between your piercing words, ones so rough and dry that it scratches your throat just to let them out. The disbelief was heavy in each and every one of them, utterly devoid of any humor, and yet they were so unbelievably empty simultaneously.

You could feel your heart breaking even more, but you weren't the only one. Not that it mattered, as with each piece that was chipped off, you could only register the little sounds of you coming apart. Everything else was muffled, and almost completely blocked out. With your only focus being on him, on them.

“Just because something looks a certain way, doesn't mean that it's really like that. I told you, it isn't that easy. Like I said before- I haven't been avoiding you, let alone ignoring you! I wasn't trying to do anything like that-”

“It doesn't matter what you tried! What you're trying to do! Don't you see? What matters is what it felt like to me-”

“But you won’t let me change that! You won't let me try and change things- it’s like you want it to remain the same-!”

“YOU DON'T GET TO SAY WHAT I WANT! NOT AFTER THIS- NOT AFTER EVERYTHING! You don’t get to say shit like that- you don't know me! You don't know what I've been through-! So stop talking like you understand me!”

“But you won't let me in! You won't give me the chance to understand! How can I expect to know anything when you're giving me nothing to work with?!”

“How about you take a fucking hint, Grayson. Can't you read the room?! You're a cop for crying out loud! And was trained by the best detective the world has to offer- so it's not my fault you're acting like you're stupid!”

“You're not another case, Y/n! You're family, you’re my sibling! Not something that needs to be solved! Is it really so hard to just tell me anything and not push me away when I'm right here?!”

Your words catch in your throat momentarily, but you try to push past that and force something out, not caring if it was made of broken glass or venom. Yet, just as you go to speak, and the first letter escapes your lips – Dick finally breaks too.

“SHUT UP! Just Shut. Up. And ACTUALLY listen to me for one second! Please! For the love of-” Dick can't help but scoff, running a hand down his face, and covering his mouth with it.  Looking away as he does so, brows furrowing. 

He wants to say something, think of anything that he wants you to hear and understand clearly - but nothing comes to mind. Nothing you'd truly hear him out on, anyway. Nothing he's already mentioned to you. Nothing that would make this better. Even as he goes to try and say something, all that comes out is a mess of half finished words that he can't make comprehensible, especially not in a way that'll have you listen to him where you won't try to bite at him again.

So, he falls silent. You both do.

Your eyes widening at the sudden shout, before your gaze hardens and you glare at Dick through your tears and agony. His silence makes you angrier, but his loud response does shut you up momentarily.

“Well– fine, if you want me to be quiet so badly, then I'm leaving.” You manage to say after a moment, voice wavering and becoming weaker — now spent thanks to how you've been using it up until this point.

Still, your words immediately snap Dick out of whatever trance he was in, and cause his head to snap back in your direction, with his eyes locking onto you once again – though they widen a little before he tries to calm down, and take in one last breath. He scrambles to say anything, especially as he sees you turn to leave, and see your words through.

“W-wait, hold on, I-” he presses his lips into a thin line, thinking briefly before continuing, “Can I at least walk you home? It isn't safe-”

You pause in your movements, “No. Just-” you don't look back, you can't bring yourself to, but you do just barely glance over your shoulder – though not enough to actually see him again. Dick can't see your eyes anymore, but he can still see the tears streaming down your face. “Just leave me alone. All of you.”

Dick tries to reach out, to stop you one last time – but he hesitates, and just lets his hand fall back to his side. Instead, opting to watch you leave while he stands there, left hurt and alone. His eyes eventually find and land on the coffee you had left behind on the bench, and he finds himself staring at that once you're out of sight.

He has to hold back from running after you, and following - if only to just make sure that you'd reach your apartment in one piece - but he manages. It's the least he could do, after all, and besides, he doubts he'd be able to do that without making you hate him even more. He's gathered as much from all of this, and really - from the looks of things, he had a lot more to consider than he had originally thought. All of them did.

… It's only as you walk away and the distance between you and Dick grows bigger, with both of your words beginning to settle - that you both notice the clouds once light cries have turned into ugly sobs, with each tear being shed heavier than the last, thunder roaring and echoing in the distance, lightning striking the earth with a deafening clap. It was only then that both of you even noticed that the light drizzle from before had turned into pouring rain, and that there was more than just the two of you in the world. Something that felt heavier than it should’ve, but felt appropriate at the same time.

Regardless, you continue to walk away, and once again, never look back as you commit to your decision no matter what may happen afterwards, or the consequences that may follow. Just like that one day back in the manor, you move on and go on with your choice, just knowing what you want in that moment and seeing no reason to deny yourself — especially when you want the same thing you wanted that night, when you just want to get away. You don’t know what happened tonight, but all you knew is that you didn’t want to be a part of it anymore, so you just left, and maybe you would’ve felt a little grateful that Dick let you go if you had noticed to begin with – since your mind was more focused on just putting as much distance between you and him as possible.

Your phone vibrates in your pocket, and it’s only then that you remember that you still had it on you – not that you knew why you’d leave it anywhere or forget it, but it’s something you noticed nonetheless. You fish it out of your pocket as you walk, and wipe some of your tears away with the back of your hand, sniffling lightly as you check the notification. Jessica had left you a voicemail – several, actually. You couldn’t imagine why, but you didn’t try very hard to think of a reason, and instead just opened your phone to listen to it.

[“Hey, hun’, it’s been a while, you okay? If you don’t call in the next twelve hours or so then I’m calling the police- even if most of them are useless as hell, I know more of them will look, since they know who you are and all that. But I swear if that asshole did anything to you then he’s got another thing coming, and I know you don’t like to fight, but please, for the love of god, just sucker punch that creep in the face if you have to. He looks like he could use one, and an extra hard one at that.” She takes a moment to sigh, clearly frustrated - which her tone made very clear - but you could sense a little worry, “But, seriously. Just get back to me when you can, and you better be safe, alright? Listen to my other voice message if you haven’t already, talk to you soon, bye.”]

Just hearing Jessica’s voice made you feel a bit better, and some of what she said got a little laugh out of you. She always tried to look after you, and with what just happened – you couldn’t be more grateful for it.

So, you did as told, and listened to the other voice message she had left you, curious as to what she had wanted you to know about.

[“Hey, it’s Jess, darlin’. I hope you’re not still with that guy, but if you are then just remember what I told you, okay? Well, anyway, Cece came by, and is waiting for you in the diner, and barely awake at that. So just come by and pick them up, since- well, I’d send ‘em home on their own but honestly I doubt they’d be able to make it there themselves. I’m a little surprised they were even able to reach this place- but you get the jist. Come by, but if you’re still with that guy? I can wait, just hurry up because a girl’s gotta get her beauty sleep. See you, bye.”]

… Oh, well, guess you had to make a stop on your way home, then. You wanted nothing more than to curl up in your bed and just sleep, but it’s not like the walk to the diner was long anyway, and besides, it was on the way back to your apartment, so you couldn’t really complain.

With that, you made a turn and headed towards the diner. Still processing and taking in everything as you do so — but when you feel more tears begin to well up, you push it to the side, and tell yourself that you’ll handle it later. No matter how short or long that interaction was, it drained you, and you desperately needed rest. Maybe it wasn’t the most healthy decision to make, but you couldn’t handle doing anything else right now, so it’d have to wait. Besides, with how tonight went, you definitely didn’t want to think about Dick and the others at the moment – they didn’t deserve it, anyway.

Thankfully, you reached the diner in no time, and it’s only when Jessica stops you at the door do you even realize that your soaked… which makes sense but you feel a little embarrassed when she points it out nonetheless, and says how she loves you but doesn’t want to have to clean the floor again when her shift has been over for about a half hour. Cece was sitting at the counter, and perks up when you enter, giving a sleepy smile before standing up and making their way over to you. Both of you thank Jessica as you take your leave – but not before you wish her a good night and say your usual goodbyes, even if she does make a point about how you and her will talk later. Hell, she even sneaks in how you almost looked like her after her breakup with Michael which… ouch, you can only imagine how awful you really look if that was the case – but it also only fully confirmed that you were talking to her about what happened no matter what.

Still, you were grateful that she left it at that, and didn’t pry anymore as she finally let you and Cece go home. The walk to the apartment – or, rather, the short run there – since you and Cece ended up sharing their jacket as cover from the rain, and they had a funny idea as you both held it over your heads, and… well, one thing led to another – and it's safe to say it turned out to be rather eventful. Ending with you and Cece laughing in front of your apartment building once you reached it, huddled in front of the small entrance – Cece ending up being partially soaked despite their best efforts, and of course, you’re beyond drenched.

Once you reach your shared home, Cece, despite barely being awake, basically shoves you into the shower once you're both a little more settled, and you just do as told – more than a little tired yourself in numerous ways, and definitely not in the mood to argue. When you’re clean and in a new set of clothes, you and Cece talk a little. They try to ask why you had been out, but you just say you ran into someone – though it wasn’t anyone important, and that it wasn’t something to worry about — with them just accepting that answer, much to your relief.

The rest of the evening becomes a bit of a blur after that, with you and Cece just talking some more here and there, sharing a few laughs that really helped brighten your mood and made you forget all about what had happened. The pain becomes dull, and that bright fire in your chest finally dies out - leaving behind a warmth that wasn’t burning or suffocating, but instead comforting and painless. One you welcomed graciously and with open arms as you felt yourself relax more and more.

Eventually, Cece turned in for the night, and as they headed back into their room, you did one last check of the apartment — making sure all the windows were not only locked, but that the curtains were closed. Going as far as to check the front door a few times just to make sure that it was really locked. Even if none of what you did would really stop any of them from getting in - it put your mind at ease a little, and really, that’s all you could hope for.

With that, you finally settled into bed, and fell asleep faster than you had in years.

For once, you hoped you’d never wake up as your worries and fears felt so far away, and reality was out of reach – even if it laid just beyond your closed eyelids. As much as you hoped for a better morning, more than anything, you hoped that you’d just sleep the week away if you could help it. God knows you needed the rest, or at least it felt like you did.

—----------

Dick had no such luxury.

The night became a blur after you had left, and he barely remembers even meeting up with the rest of the family once everything was said and done. He couldn’t tell how long he had been standing in that park all by himself, thinking of everything you had told him and looking at the little pieces of your existence that still remained behind.

All he knows is one thing led to another, and now he’s here – sitting on top of a roof with everyone else both simultaneously chastising him and trying to discuss what they should do now. Though Dick couldn’t bring himself to pay attention, since the events that had unfolded moments prior replayed in his mind like a broken record, torturing him slowly as his brain reminded him of all of the mistakes he’s made tonight. He can’t understand why he said half of what he did, especially because he didn’t mean it. He didn’t mean to blow up like he did – especially in front of you, and when you were clearly hurting and frustrated on top of that. The only thing Dick wanted to do in that moment was stop both of you from arguing, and it seems that his mouth ran off to do just that before he could think of a better way to do it. Now leaving him like this, and things worse off than they were before.

Point is, Dick felt like shit, and he knew he deserved it. Though the rest of the family definitely weren’t helping him out in that regard.

“How the hell did you even fuck this up, Dick?” Jason asks, his tone so heated it sounds like it could’ve come from the depths of hell itself – and all just to burn his older brother.

“I knew I should’ve gone instead, this would’ve never happened-” Tim can’t help but mumble to himself, arms crossed as he sighs, frustrated – but not completely at Dick. If there was a moment for him to really believe he should’ve kept your address and apartment number to himself, it was definitely now.

“Wait- so… what do we do now?” Stephanie asks, concerned over what happened, and that Dick hasn’t really said anything about it to them – even if all of them can tell it went poorly.

Damian just sighs, his arms crossed as well as he looks at Dick before looking to the others, “Take matters into our own hands, obviously.”

“While I agree that something should be done, is it really a good idea to act now?” Barbara pitches in, not entirely sure of what Damian was talking about, but not liking the implications of it all the same. Something about it just didn’t feel right to her, nor did the look he gave her.

“Of course. Now that they’re presumably heading to their apartment, we can just-” before Damian can finish what he was going to say, Cassandra covers his mouth, cutting him off swiftly which annoys the little Robin enough to shove her hand away and give her a scrutinizing look, “what?”

Cassandra just shakes her head, and instead begins to sign something, basically saying how they don’t know if you're even at your apartment, and by the time they find out where you actually are, it’ll probably be morning. Even mentioning how since you know that they know where you live, you probably wouldn’t even be there anymore. Which just causes Damian to huff in response. She had a point, and he knew it, but he wasn’t going to admit it out loud.

Still, despite that Jason spoke up again, “Actually, I agree with the little twerp. Now’s a good a time as any to get them home.”

“... You can't be serious, right?” Barbara asks, now getting a little concerned over what Jason meant as well, and the half-shrug he gave did little to reassure her or calm her nerves that were slowly beginning to rise.

“Why not? They’re still out there doing god knows what- who knows where in the dead of night,” he points out, giving Barbara a little glance, “it anything, I just see more of a reason to get them before anything else happens.”

“Jason, do you even hear yourself right now.”

“What? Is it a crime to be worried for my god damn family now?”

“Jason.” Bruce’s voice pierces through the air, cutting through the tension before anyone else can speak up or give their two cents. Almost as if just his voice alone was enough of a barrier between those who wanted to get you home, those that didn’t, and the few who didn’t know where they stood at the moment. 

Regardless, it’s enough for Jason to stand down, if only temporarily as Bruce turns to Dick – who’s still out of it, and staring at the ground just before his feet.

“Dick,” Bruce calls out, which only gets him a subtle glance, with Dick not even bothering to pick up his head – or maybe he just couldn’t, no one could tell except for the one person among them who was much too fluent in body language. “What do you think?” He asks simply, narrowing his eyes a little when his eldest son grows quieter somehow.

Dick fidgets with the coffee cup in his hands, its warmth long gone, and yet he still runs a finger or two along the side as if it was still there. He doesn’t know why he grabbed it, but now he almost couldn’t find it in himself to let it go. It was yours, after all, if only for a brief moment – and even if all it did was serve as a reminder of his faults, it reminded him of you, and right now? That’s all he could ask for. Dick can’t explain it, but it’s like by holding the cup and having it with him, he had a small part of you with him. Since, sure, while you had left it during your… ‘dispute’ with him, it had come from a place you liked and he could only assume that it was just how you liked your coffee. It was silly, but holding it made him feel close to you, and that’s all he wanted at the moment. To be close.

… It takes him a beat or two before he responds, and even then he seems unsure of himself – but remembering what had transpired minutes ago is enough to set his mind straight.

“I think… we should give them some time, and… a bit of space too for a while.” Dick manages to say hesitantly, tapping the cup lightly as he still holds onto it.

That seemed to quiet everyone down for a moment, until Stephanie eventually asks the question on everyone’s mind.

“Just how badly did things go, Dick?”

He couldn’t answer that, he didn’t want to, so he remained silent. However, Cassandra could tell, and found herself just as divided as she felt the moment she first saw him. She didn’t know what she wanted to do more – throw Dick off the roof, or go looking for you herself. Maybe she’d try to do both if Bruce wasn’t right there. 

“So, what? Do they hate us now or something?” Jason says sarcastically, but with how Dick tenses a little his tone turns harsher, “... You can’t be serious.”

“Dick- please tell me you didn’t screw things up that badly. Please tell me that you didn’t make things worse!” Tim almost begs, desperate to be wrong and hoping that his eldest brother hadn’t made things worse – that there was still a small chance.

Sure, they didn’t expect things to go great, but none of them really believed that they would go so horribly!

“Look, just-” Dick takes a short breath, looking at the cup in his hands in quiet defeat before glancing away, “I think we should give them some time to themself is all.”

Jason can only scoff as he crosses his arms, “I knew I should’ve gone instead, they would’ve been home right now.”

“I believe me and father would’ve handled the situation much better,” Damian states, as if it would lead to the only positive outcome should he and Bruce had gone instead.

“I knew I should’ve kept my mouth shut and just gone over by myself- stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” Tim curses under his breath, looking away as he continues to mumble to himself – expression growing increasingly darker and the air around him shifting into… something indescribable.

Cassandra seemed just about ready to rip something apart, and Stephanie was getting nervous from how the others seemed to be reacting, only able to stutter out a small, “G- guys? Maybe we shouldn’t be talking about this right now-”

“I agree…” Barbara chips in, her own concerns only growing as she looks at the family, but tries to help Stephanie out nonetheless, “What’s done is done, and we should be trying to figure out what to do from here on out.”

Damian scoffs, “Right, like that will be easy with brother being silent about everything.” Dick could only look away in response, taking a small sip of the coffee in his hands, finding a little bit of comfort in its taste. It was cold, and wasn’t how he usually got his done – but it’s how you liked it, and that was enough from him to like it too.

A small argument seemed to spawn from that alone, with some now going back and forth yet again on what to do – Cassandra, Jason, and Damian pretty adamant about wanting to bring you home, with Barbara, Stephanie, and Dick more keen on waiting and giving you space — even if Dick was definitely more quiet about his stance, still thinking about… whatever was on his mind. Tim didn’t seem to engage much in the arguing either, and instead seemed to be dealing with his own thing as he kept mumbling to himself, leaving Bruce to be stuck listening to all of the nonsense until he finally got fed up with it.

“Quiet down, all of you.” He states firmly, voice cold and harsh as he shuts everyone up without even moving an inch. His eyes seemed to judge all of them as he looked at everything before sighing, and making the decision for everyone.

“We’ll give them time, and stand down for now.” He says, his tone alone indicating that there would be no arguing on this. What he said was final, and everyone would be smart to follow along with it, no matter where they stood. Still, he turned to look down at the city, and caught the faintest glimpse of your apartment building in the not-so-far distance. “but if anything happens, then we’ll act accordingly.”

[anna-the-undertaker]

Here’s a thought nugget for ya! Can demons/angels smell when MC is on their period?

Are demons like sharks in the water? Does that make the Bros+Royals more protective or distant?

And what about angels? Do the grown-ups treat MC differently? Does Luke already instinct y’alls know what’s up?

And how does Solomon deal with all the chaos every month?

This was really fun to write. I hope this was what you were expecting. Any critique is appreciated and will help me better my writing, so please leave a comment. Hearing from y'all acts as motivation for me.

MC, the boys, and the Human Menstrual Cycle

To answer the first question, yes, demons and angels can detect when MC is on their period or when they’re ovulating. Demons, in particular, are highly sensitive to the change in smell, especially if they’re romantically involved with MC. During ovulation (the period before the menstrual cycle begins and eggs are released from the ovaries and into the uterus to, possibly, be fertilized by sperm cells), MC’s body emits subtle pheromones that humans can't smell but demons can easily pick up on. These pheromones might trigger a protective or possessive instinct in some of the demons, particularly those who are more territorial or prone to jealousy.

During MC’s period, the scent of blood, combined with hormonal changes, can cause various reactions. Some demons might be more on edge or aggressive due to their heightened senses, while others might become more nurturing, wanting to care for MC during this vulnerable time. Angels, on the other hand, might sense the change in MC’s aura or energy rather than a physical scent, but the effect is similar. They would likely be more concerned with ensuring MC’s comfort and well-being.

As for if the demons are like sharks in the water, in a way, yes, they are. Demons are drawn to the scent of blood. They have eaten humans, and some probably still do or would if they were allowed to. However, reactions to the smell would vary as this isn't just an open wound and the smell is very different than the blood that runs through a human's veins.

The Brothers who are romantically involved with MC might become more protective, wanting to keep MC close to ensure their safety. This protectiveness could manifest as possessiveness (especially towards each other), with them being more attentive and hovering over MC during this time.

For the Royals, the reaction could be a bit different. Diavolo and Barbatos might not exhibit the same intensity of protectiveness but would still be aware of MC's state. Diavolo would be more curious and fascinated by the human body's natural processes, while Barbatos would quietly ensure that MC has everything they need. They wouldn't be distant, but their reactions would be more controlled and subtle.

All in all, though, one thing is certain. During this time MC would be quarantined or at the very least not be allowed to go out on their own to ensure their safety from other demons.

The angels are more attuned to changes in emotional and spiritual energy rather than an actual scent, however. Simeon might sense the shift in MC's energy and become more compassionate, offering gentle support and comfort. He wouldn't be driven by instinct as the demons are but would be more focused on MC's emotional state and ensuring they feel at ease.

Luke, being a child, wouldn't fully understand what's happening, but he would know that something is different. He might become extra caring and try to cheer MC up with sweets or small gestures, without realizing the full context. His innocence and concern would be endearing, even if he doesn't fully grasp what is going on.

Then there is Solomon. Being the experienced and somewhat mischievous sorcerer, he would handle the monthly situation with a mix of care and chaos. He'll still help MC, perhaps brewing up special teas or using magic to ease their discomfort. However, Solomon's chaotic side also emerges as he finds the whole situation amusing. He might intentionally stir the pot by subtly triggering the demons' instincts, just to see their reactions. He might say something provocative or leave items around that intensify the demons' protective behaviors, all while feigning innocence. Watching the ensuing chaos unfold becomes his own personal entertainment, a smirk never far from his lips as he observes the demons' reactions with a mix of curiosity and amusement.

[obsidianpen]

Howdy! Awhile back you mentioned you weren't likely to get back to Enticed and asked if anyone wanted to pick up and write the rest, you could share your plot/plan with them... I'm no where near as good of a writer as you and couldn't do that (it actually terrifies me the idea of trying to continue a fic that you started tbh, you are one of my favorite writers). But I still find myself sometimes imagining what happens in later chapters of Enticed, for instance the big showdown at the end of OotP where Harry finally presents at the Ministry, and then in Year 6 when Harry as an Omega leads to some kind of huge Alpha fight (I imagine something like a massive chaotic bloody fight in the Great Hall where the Alphas are all triggering each other & beating each other to a pulp/dueling while the Omegas hide and Betas run for cover and teachers try to stop it). So, I wanted to ask if you wouldn't mind sharing maybe your general plot/key scenes with us just for fun? And maybe the endgame couples? If not, no worries! :)

sure! Spoilers ahead!

so yeah Harry presents as a delta (omega) during the whole ministry fiasco, ofc, and it’s about as dramatic as you would expect me to make it. It happens during the possession scene and so V is right there - like couldn’t be closer to it really - and loses all self control and sense of self, trying to uh, get Harry lol but Bella, also a delta, is there, and she and Harry’s dynamics actually revolt each other so she’s not affected at all. She manages to drag her lord away to safety (she is the only one who would be powerful enough to do this), where he otherwise would have been caught by Dumbledore.

Harry meanwhile is a mess, and it’s too late for any kind of repressing potion for him. He gets taken away by Dumbles (who has MUCH more self control than Voldemort btw) and is put into quarantine. Poor Harry, it’s not a fun time.

he eventually resurfaces and is told what all happened. He has a nice little chat with Dumbledore about the uniqueness of being a Delta, which Dumbles knows all about, because duh, Grindelwald was a delta. (He also learns ollivander is a delta).

year 6: Harry is getting all the stares. He’s finally able to perceive magic and now he GETS it. He and Ginny (also an omega) have insta-bonded. Hermione is protective and already planning future ministry legislation. Ron is uncomfortable but is still Harry’s best friend and ride or die.

Draco Malfoy keeps a great distance from Harry but can’t seem to keep his eyes off him. Harry gets it because he’s having the same problem with him and about six other alpha wizards. He still hates him.

Harry is no longer able to stay in the boys dorm. He now has to stay with the other omega girls in their special dorm room, which he finds mortifying at first, but then realizes how necessary that is, and grows to enjoy them quite a lot.

Harry is aggressively adopted by Godiva (self appointed Head Omega of the Gryffindor squad) and is forced to be ‘one of them’ (though he still escapes all the time and prefers to hang out with his ‘lowly beta’ friends). Godiva is upset when she learns his name is not Hadrian or Harrison. She calls him Hadrian anyway. In lieu of being able to give him a real proper lady make over, she and Fey (who has a muggle mother as I’m writing her) figure out Harry’s glasses prescription and get him some contacts ‘so that his lovely eyes can be admired properly’ and because ‘those glasses are hideous and you’re going to make us all look worse if you wear them’. Harry is sort of into it once he gets used to it. Snape kicks him out of class when he shows up without them with no explaination.

Harry becomes obsessed with Draco Malfoy. Hermione tells him it’s just because he’s an alpha and says be needs to go shag someone else to get over it. Ron is still uncomfortable. Harry says it’s def only because Malfoy is up to something Bad but he isn’t sure if he trusts himself anymore.

Harry (who has to be even more meticulous with taking repressants btw, because he’s not as predictable as a delta) thinks yeah maybe hermione is right actually but every time a bold alpha dude hits on him he panics and can’t handle it. Godiva sighs and makes it her mission to teach him.

the Myrtle bathroom scene with Draco goes very differently. Idk for sure how that would go but probably Malfoy has been forgetting to take his repressing shit what with how stressed he is and there’s probably some pretty intense hate sex, or at least very close to hate sex and plenty of hate snogging. Is this drarry? Maybe

the death eaters still break in, Harry still goes with Dumbledore, Dumbledore still dies

seventh year starts semi similarly, Harry is out with Ron and Hermione doing their thing and hunting horcruxes but they have a limited supply of the repressing elixir for Harry. Voldemort, being a bastard who still very much wants to kill Harry (perhaps more than ever now, because deltas are exceptional and this makes Harry more of a threat in some ways), puts insane regulations and safety measures around repressing elixirs for omegas, as well as any ingredient needs to brew it, making it impossible for Harry to get his hands on any without outing himself. They eventually run out when they’re out camping in the woods when Ron is with them and they have the locket.

he has no options. Hermione and Ron have to tie him up and help him suffer through a heat when one hits (they’re beta so they can’t help in the uh, other way). Harry is losing his mind halfway through it. The only thing that helps at all is the locket. He somehow gets to it and puts it on. Locket Tom reaches him in a dream and manages to convince a half-mad Harry to say ‘voldemort.’

the snatchers show up first. This includes Fenrir Greyback. He immediately goes insane upon finding Harry like that. But voldemort has been waiting for something like this to happen, so he shows up too.

big crazy alpha duel. V versus Fenrir. Hermione and Ron can’t get anywhere near the insane magic that’s happening, but Harry can. He’s having the wildest magical awakening of his life, and when he commands these two alphas (who he no longer sees as individuals in his current state) to kill for him, they do (or they try to anyway; Voldemort wins)

and then ofc Voldemort is supposed to kill Harry because that was the point of all this. But he sees his locket and Harry’s wearing it and that poses many questions and, well, if he’s going to kill Harry anyway he might as well enjoy him first. Somewhere in the middle of that much more intense and messed up hate sex, he realizes what Harry is, so of course he takes him ‘home’ (and don’t worry either he takes him away from hermione and Ron first or more likely Harry somehow banished them, idk the details there but I would not have them watching that lmao).

uhhhh yeah that’s about how far I had the plot going in my head!

[coff-in]

thank you so much for doing my request!! if you’re comfy with a pt 2 I’d love to read it!! seeing reader cope with becoming a parent and how reader copes with getting raped by andrew … how the dynamic at home changes, andrew as a daddy and ashley as a aunt!! does andrew force reader to marry him? <3 if ur not comfy w doing it as a req then maybe ramble or do it in any other form like a hc! thank youuu 🥹🤍

notes from coff-in: it's past midnight right now where i am (as it it's closer to 1:00am) but i need to write. this is definitely a ramble but thank you for clarifying that i could do that! writing properly for ficlets and headcanons take a bit out of me but i want go give you guys the best that i got, you know? sorry, sorry... on to your ask!

[fem] reader-insert, [afab] reader-insert(?), NSFW, rape, talks/mentions of pregnancy and abortion, incest in the last bits but it's skippable really

the biggest thing that i wonder about is how [reader] met andrew and ashley. how long have they'd known each other? were they quarantined together (was [reader] quarantined at all)? i think i'll leave it up to the reader's interpretation/imagination but these things feel like they should impact the story, you know? um... [reader] doesn't really take to being a mother too well. she doesn't want to be a mother, so it makes sense. ashley wouldn't let her get rid of the child, either. she doesn't like [reader] all that much but she does try to recognize potential opportunities to keep andrew close in this... situation.

the last thing a parent wants to do is to make their child sad. if ashley could get close enough to andrew's child (she'd love the child ofc, it's an extension of her brother) then she could keep andrew close to her, too. any separation of them would also affect the child and until it's born who knows how that can go. ashley doesn't like [reader] all that much. she could come to like [reader], but when i was writing the original piece i sort of didn't write it with ashely in mind... so any relationship they build would be after the rape event.

andrew. andrew andrew andrew. he... he wants the child. it's possibly a new chance for him to have a new life. not necessarily an ordinary life (years of sexual tension between him and his sister build up somehow to him raping a women they sorta kidnap/escaped with from an apartment after demon summoning, murder, and cannibalism) but it could be considered close enough if you squint and tilt your head. again, when writing the original piece i didn't really write with andrew and [reader]'s deeper relationship in mind, just the surface level stuff

andrew has come to care for [reader] to some extent, and the child makes him try to enforce that bond and relationship. he would reflect on his own parents and their parenting and how he raised ashley when it comes to his baby. trying to figure what to avoid (i think putting in the effort would be way better than what his parents did, though. it's not even a battle). he gets touchy feely with [reader]; sleeping in the same bed, holding their hand or resting it on their hip, brushing her hair, etc etc some of the stiff we've seen with ashley. i think he'd also talk to the baby bump, too.

[reader] isn't expected to kill people anymore or to do excessive physical labor. i don't think she takes part in the cannibalism as much either. i'm kinda leaving her vague because i want you guys to really just imprint on [reader] i guess when it comes to this situation. andrew would be a fairly good dad though. uh... sort of dozed off a bit trying to think about him as a dad. he would be way more attentive that his own parents, that's for sure. he's the voice of reason along with [reader] (ashley is that "cool aunt" that the kid loves), but andrew is also still a bit of a doormat or pushover. he can't stay too mad at this kids.

do i think andrew would force [reader] to marry him? maybe. it would probably be good for taxes and other legal documents but i don't know if he'd put such a high value on marriage. i think he'd like the intertwining aspect of it, the legal binding it brings. i doubt ashely would enjoy this but it's also dependent on your relationship.

mixing this idea with incest ideas because i can't help myself right now, fell free to skip this: andrew and a sibling [reader]. especially a younger one. i don't know but i kind of enjoy the idea of him during quarantine (or right after) just... losing control one night. it's not violent or loud or out of hate; it's quiet and gentle and out of frustration. he takes his younger baby sibling while they're sleeping as a way to just let it all out. the tension and stress and repression of his feelings for them... he just lets them go. ashley's dead asleep and so is [reader], as ling as he's quiet there are no immediate consequences to this action. he raised [reader] since they were a fucking baby and what a wonderful adult they had turned out to be (as wonderful as a graves could be).

aaaaahhh, i'm tired. sorry for the weird sleepy rant response. i feel like i should mention again: i have never been raped nor do i know friends or people personally who have been raped. i haven't really read anything scholarly about it so take all i say with a grain of salt and an open mind. thank you for requesting, 'nonnie. i love it when people ask for expansions or explanations in previous posts (reminds me of devious anon, i miss them)

anyway my eye saight is losing focus so i'll end it here. good day/night/evening whatever you are

----

coff-in

[davekat-sucks]

"I love how conveniently most Homestuck "antis" ignore Meenvris being canon, and how Meenah is adored by them" Grown women grooming girls is okay because lesbians need more rep! /s God. These people fucking hated Hussie for wanting to get with Vriska until Hussie started pretending to be clown gender and made himself into a woman in pesterquest. (and I've seen them say that the one shit quarantine clown game was Hussie's way of coming out as a trans woman.) Meenah and Hussie alike get away with wanting to fingerbang Vriksa because theyre queer enough to this stupid ass audience. It just proves that the main focus of the HS fanbase is on bullying those that don't have their shit taste. And their shit taste has nothing to do with looking out for minorities or actual gay people. They're losers who buy their own virtuous BS and made fandom an unlikeable hellscape for the rest of us. They run on hate, not on logic. If anyone would have some magic time machine and went back to tell these "fans" 20 years ago that men would be allowed in women's bathrooms, they would have freaked shit. Now they pretend to give a shit about trans people. It's all an ego driven agenda to them so they change their views on a dime. If you don't believe me look up how antisemitic people are now because of a stupid fucking terrorist group killing Jewish people and then hid behind Palestinians. (It's Hamas that's shit here. But I wouldn't be shocked if the HS fans support Hamas just like Starbuck's Union on X did. Which was what started the boycotting starbucks trend, that Starbuck's actually corp didn't want their union to support terroist acts.) In 2020 these HS fans were all about "punching nazis." They don't care about Jewish people. If they did they wouldn't be shitting all over them openly now. They're just people filled with hate that are using anything they can find as a shield so there is no making sense of anything they're doing. You can't argue with an idoit and no poking holes in their logic will change. They're just going to drag you down with their stupid arguments and they will say the most sexist things about women to justify John being June. And they will morph character's personalities to force ships that make no sense to be canon. I keep trying to ignore these types, but it's hard to not get angry. They make the causes they stand for look like jokes. And I do care about women and children living in Palestine, but Queers for Palastine is the funniest fucking thing I've heard in years. It's like something you'd hear in the most offensive comedy special ever made. Exactly like the Black White Supremacist in Chappelle's Show.

I couldn't have said it any better. Thank you, Anon!

[catreginae]

Thou Shalt Not Fall: The Past - Teaching Old Vampires New Tricks

The vampires try to train Link in all things vampire… but it doesn't go the way it usually goes. The vampires begin to realize that Link isn't quite the same as the other vampires. I'm sorry this took so long! It just took its time in the oven but it's here now! Also, I wanted to save it for the 2nd anniversary of Thou Shalt Not Fall! Happy birthday to my funny little vampire dude!

[Previous] - [Next]

View the Master Post here!

Link was impressed with Elena's set up. Their estate was large, though the part of the estate the vampires lived in was much smaller than the part of the estate that the Hylians lived in. From the ground floor up, it was everything he expected of a manor for nobles – there was a lot of furniture for people to converse in, art hanging from the walls and sculptures on display, and the constant bustle of people who he assumed worked there. The upper floors had bedrooms, though Link only saw inside the guest ones.

The vampires resided in the basement and, with the basement being underground, there were no windows – and therefore no sun – to worry about. The vampires didn't seem to care for art as much as the nobles upstairs did, but the amount of furniture they had rivalled the amount of furniture that the Hylian nobles had, even though their space was a bit smaller.

However, one thing he found was that everything was too loud and the amount of different things he could smell was overwhelming. He hadn't really noticed how his senses changed since he was stuck in his room for so long, but now that he wasn't just stuck in his room it was way too much. Link finished the tour with Elena and went back into his room.

“I admit, it's been a long time since I was in your place,” Walter, one of the vampires, said as Link laid on his bed with the pillow held to his face again. He invited himself inside and sat down by the foot of his bed. “Most people are turned by other vampires and only surrounded by other vampires, so we don't usually have to uh... quarantine new vampires to the point where something like this happens. It should only take a few days before you adjust.”

Link hissed in response. He didn't know where the hissing was coming from, but he found it worked well enough. Besides, he liked the way his throat and chest rumbled to make the noise in the first place. Walter laughed.

“You have a lot to catch up now that you don't have to be a hermit, but we'll take it one step at a time.”

He groaned. Just how long was he going to be stuck here?

Walter was right. In a couple of days it was no longer so overwhelming to be about in the manor, but he still had to be accompanied by another vampire. So far that job seemed to fall to Walter. Link didn't mind that so much.

One day, while Link was in his room after drinking a cup of blood, Walter asked to see the mark of his blessing. Usually he wouldn't show it off so easily because, for some reason, it felt kind of private. The fact that he was the hero and had a piece of the Triforce was no secret, not even to the general population, but that didn't mean he went around showing it off. Walter seemed so excited though and Link was already more comfortable with Walter than he was with most of his soldiers, so he held out his hand and let Walter hold it. Walter ran his thumb over the mark.

“There it is. Have you always had it?”

“The Triforce? I don't know. The mark wasn't always there, though. It appeared after my first, true battle. It was during a time of need and while it didn't protect me completely, the person I was with came out unscathed.”

“Interesting! Can you feel it or is it just a mark?”

“I mean, the mark kind of burns sometimes when all three pieces are in proximity of each other, but otherwise having the mark doesn't feel any different than not having it.”

Suddenly, Walter's thumb moved from the mark on his hand to the scars instead. Link raised an eyebrow as the other vampire massaged his scarred hand, like he was trying to erase them.

“I'm sure Elena has told you that we vampires are able to regenerate. If I got stabbed with a sword right now, the wound would heal almost instantly. There's a few catches though – one is that you will only ever be restored how you were when you were turned. These scars will always remain, but you will never get a new one.”

“What are the other catches?” Link asked.

“Wounds involving our weaknesses take longer to heal. If you were burnt by fire for example, the burns would take longer to heal than a regular stab wound. If the weaknesses don't kill you, they will take longer to heal. Also, you need to have blood in your system to regenerate, otherwise you'll just sit with the wounds,” he said with a smile that seemed almost... nostalgic. “You will live, of course. Our bodies are much more durable than that of a normal mortal. Hunting troublesome vampires is actually quite a revered career abroad, due to how hard vampires are to kill.”

It was a lot to take in but his life did change a lot in the last two weeks, or three if he counted the week he spent wondering what was happening to him before he woke up in the manor. Regardless, he’s been a vampire for less than a month and at some point he was supposed to be independent. If he wanted to go back to Mask and Tune and help figure out why they were still here, he had to figure it all out. His job as a hero would make it impossible for him to lean on the vampires as much as he currently was. Maybe if he treated the whole thing like a class that had some sort of test at the end, it would be easier for him to take it all in.

“So we're essentially a meat shield.”

Walter chuckled. “If you choose to be, I suppose. Getting wounded still hurts, even if we heal quickly, so you should keep that in mind.”

Link merely hummed. He could handle some pain.

One of his first lessons involved Elena bringing in another glass of blood while he was sitting by the fireplace with Walter, though the smell of it wasn't quite as strong as he was used to. The reason was that the top of the cup was covered by some leather, with the excess folded over and tied to the cup with a bit of twine. He poked the leather and found that he could feel the blood moving underneath.

“You have to figure out how to use your fangs now. When you leave the estate, people aren't going to be around to serve you glasses of blood. You will have to source it yourself.”

Link looked from the covered cup of blood back to Walter and Elena.

“We can suck blood up with our fangs,” Walter supplied. “There's tiny grooves on the back of our fangs that channels blood from the source and into our mouth. You just have to bite and suck.”

Link almost laughed because the image that popped into his head at Walter's words had nothing to do with the cup of blood he was holding. Instead, he steeled himself and focused on the cup. With some ease, he summoned his fangs and used his fangs to pierce the leather cover. Following Walter's advice, he was surprised to find that he could taste it on his tongue. He swallowed it and pulled his fangs out.

“That felt... strange.”

But also good . It felt good to have his teeth buried in something. 

Elena smiled. “Very nice. You can have the rest of that – drink as much as you can with just your fangs but I don't expect you to get to the bottom. Maybe you can go hunting soon. We drink animal blood for the most part because the Hylians will drain the blood from the game they catch before they use the rest of the animal for themselves, but we do drink monster blood if monsters happen to be too close.”

Link considered that as he continued to drink the blood with his fangs planted back into the leather cover. Monster blood was probably going to be his best bet. He could sneak away from the castle or any campsite the army made, kill a monster, and drink its blood. Of course, not all monsters looked easy to drink from. Could his fangs pierce the scales of a lizalfos? He had no idea how sharp his fangs actually were. 

Walter frowned. “Monster blood is kind of... icky.”

“It's his best bet though. I have no doubt he fights and kills plenty of them. It's just a matter of going back to the bodies when he can sneak away, drain them, then chop their heads off.”

“You're not wrong but it's not helpful if he can't stomach it.”

“Maybe that's just you,” Elena said with a shrug. “The rest of us can drink it even if it's not the tastiest.”

“My lady, you wound me,” Walter whined. Then, he turned towards Link and pulled him close. “You will know what I mean.”

“I'm not interested in settling some sort of argument between you two,” Link muttered when he withdrew his fangs from the cover to take it off completely. What did he have to do to drink some blood in peace? It only occurred to him a second later that it was a strange thought for him to have. A month ago, the thought of drinking blood would have disgusted him. 

“Is monster blood actually disgusting?” Link asked as carefully ducked under a tree branch that Marcus was short enough to simply walk under. The younger-yet-older vampire had yet to turn back to look at him at once so Link knew not to push his mood too much, especially since he didn't know exactly where Marcus was taking him. He knew Hyrule pretty well but he didn't know the region where the estate was that well.

Especially in the dark. His eyesight was better, especially when he had his fangs out, but that didn't mean he recognized the way it looked in the moonlight.

“It's not that bad. Walter is just being dramatic about it. It's not as good as animal or human blood but it should do just fine. You might actually enjoy it more.”

Link didn't say anything. He was... kind of confused. Why would he enjoy blood that didn't taste as good?

“I don't feel bad about killing monsters. It's the only time I get to go all out these days. Their blood might not taste as good but it's kind of fun to drink every last job. Trust me. You'll get it.”

They continued to walk in silence for another fifteen minutes or so when the smell on the wind changed. He wrinkled his nose. Marcus finally stopped and turned around, his fangs visible and his eyes changed. “Smell it?”

“I smell… something?”

“Hmph. Follow me.”

In a blink of an eye, Marcus practically disappeared, speeding away with a speed Warriors never saw before. Was he supposed to be able to go that fast? Maybe if his fangs were out he could. Marcus had his fangs out at any rate. Well, either way, he wasn't getting anywhere without running even if it was at the pace he always knew.

He started running and picking up a pace he never managed to reach before. He was always able to run fast, part of the reason why he did so well in training, but he never ran so fast before. He quickly realized that his pace was too fast though. He could barely see where he was going. He had even less of an opportunity to change direction to dodge any obstacles, so when he saw the tree in front of him, he knew there wasn't much, if anything, he could do.

At first, he only knew he hit the tree when he stopped moving. For a blissful moment, there was no pain, just a momentary pause in reality before it all caught up with him and he could feel the blood drop down his face. The pain came shortly after, burning in his forehead. He groaned and sat up, shooting a glare at the tree as he rose to his feet. He stumbled once but he found his balance quickly. He felt his forehead. He could feel where the skin split but he would have to get a better look later. For the time being, he had to find the little bastard that left him behind.

Apparently, he didn't need to bother, as he could see Marcus coming out from behind the trees.

“What's taking you so long?”

Link merely shot him a glare.

“I see you didn't see a tree,” Marcus said with a smirk but frowned when he saw the wound. “That should have healed by now.”

Link stayed silent, completely unsure of what Marcus could possibly expect him to say. Like, why mention it? He was then further thrown off when Marcus' feet left the ground and he just sort of hovered in front of him, inspecting the wound with a confused frown. He didn't say anything more about it when his feet touched the ground again.

“Well, you still need to learn how to hunt. Come along.”

The vampires were looking at him more closely since he came back from the hunting trip with Marcus. Clearly, there was something weird about his wound. He knew vampires healed fast and he did! The gash on his head was all healed by the time they returned so he didn't understand what the big deal was. He would have never healed that fast without a potion a month ago. 

Either way, they were watching him, and he was aware of the fact that he was being watched when they led him to a large, empty room. It had a surprisingly high ceiling for a room that was underground but he wouldn’t be surprised if Elena designed the entire manor from top to bottom and specifically planned for a large, underground room with high ceilings.

“This is our sparring room,” Elena stated. Today, she ditched her usual elegant dress for a hooded purple tunic, black leggings, and knee high boots. In fact, all of them were wearing pants that day, something that struck Link as more functional than he was used to seeing them all wear. They were definitely planning on it. “It’s time for us to work on developing your powers. Even if you don’t use them, working on control will help prevent you from using them accidentally.”

Walter came to his side and patted him on the shoulder. “It feels like flexing a muscle. It should come naturally.”

Link wasn’t so sure about that. Sure, running faster than he ever did in his life came naturally, but the control over his fangs didn’t. His control over his fangs wasn’t perfect either, though he did have a better grasp of his fangs than he did when he first discovered he had them. As if sensing his apprehension, Walter elaborated.

“It’s like controlling your fangs. You just have to want to do it. It’s about intention. Just watch us.”

There was a lot to absorb in a short amount of time. Vampires could fly – that was what Marcus was doing before when he was checking his forehead earlier. Good to know. Link was aware of the superhuman speed but the superhuman strength was new, which was proven when Marcus kicked Walter into the wall with such strength that the wall cracked and crumbled. Elena looked at the damage with a shake of her head but she was judging them with her feet firmly planted on the ceiling. Last but not least, was the hypnosis, which was something that Link couldn’t even try to practice with them – apparently, only Elena was able to hypnotize other vampires. They would have to bring in a Hylian and Link didn’t want to inconvenience any of them.

For the first couple of days, Link simply watched the other vampires, hoping that if he just studied long enough, he could figure out how to replicate what they could do. 

But when several days passed, he was growing increasingly frustrated. The speed and strength was something that did actually come naturally – as long as he had his fangs out and focused, the speed and strength came. He couldn’t say the same about anything else. No matter how often Marcus, Walter, and Audrey threw him around the room, he always hit a wall or floor. He couldn’t recover by floating or flying. At most, he could tuck himself in and roll, minimizing the damage he was receiving. 

Elena also tried to help him walk on the ceiling and the walls, or ‘wall-crawl’ as they put it. She would hold him by the shoulders or waist, he would take a couple of steps, and fell whenever she let go.

The only nice part about those days was Beth, the vampire who only looked to be around thirteen at the most. She helped him get back on his feet, always found himself some blood to drink when the others were done for the day, and tried her best to say something encouraging when she saw him. She was starting to remind him of Mask. 

He missed that little brat. He missed all of them. 

“We’re taking a break for a few days,” Elena announced as she started inspecting his growing collection of partially healed bones and cuts. Link was sitting up in bed while Elena sat beside him. She pressed her fingers into his forearm and he couldn’t help but to hiss in response as pain shot up his entire arm. “Not because I don’t believe in you but because this is clearly taking a toll on you.”

“Let me guess, I should have healed already,” Link muttered.

“Your regeneration is definitely abnormal. I haven’t seen a vampire recover as slowly as you. I feel as though I’m missing something…” She lowered his arm and put a hand on the shoulder that wasn’t connected to his broken arm. “I’m sorry, Link. I treated you as I would treat any other vampire but you aren’t like other vampires. Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that you were turned by magic. Either way, we should have met you where you were, not where we expected you to be. That’s our fault.”

She let out a sigh when Link said nothing further.

“Link, do you plan on using your powers?”

“Do I even really have them?”

“I’m sure you have them,” Elena said quietly. “We just don’t know how to bring them out. It’s not your fault. ”

Link rolled his eyes and settled his head into his fist before he remembered that his arm was broken and that it hurt to do that. It wasn’t Elena that was the source of his frustration. Clearly, they had no idea how to help him with his powers, despite that being the entire reason why he was even there to begin with. What made him so different? He just didn’t get it. 

“I don’t think it’s worth pursuing it,” Link muttered. He was just tired and he didn’t know where it came from. He knew what it was like to keep running forward, no matter what was going on in the background. He knew what it was like to get beaten down and get back up again. That was the basis of his military career. He was getting back up ever since he started dabbling in swordplay as a child. He wasn’t used to giving up but there he was, telling the strongest vampire in Hyrule that he didn’t want to figure out these powers that he may or may not have.

“If that’s what you want, then we will refocus. We’ll make sure you’re confident in feeding yourself and being around people without craving anything,” she said with a smile. “And if you ever change your mind down the road, we’ll be here.”

He didn’t know what he expected but it wasn’t Elena taking his response so easily.

“Thank you.”

“Now, I’ll let the others know to let you rest up. I’m not sure why your regeneration is so slow but getting some sleep might help you out. I’ll be back later with some blood.”

She left just a moment later. Link sighed. He laid himself flat on his bed, pulled the covers up, and rested his broken arm on his chest. He was pretty damn tired.

One of the things that puzzled the vampires was the fact that he was still attracted to the smell of the kitchen upstairs. His nose was sensitive enough that he could smell the Hylians upstairs cooking food from the basement if he was near the stairs or by the fireplace, and sometimes he found himself sitting outside the kitchens just to enjoy the smell. It was like the food he got in the castle, though he supposed he shouldn't be surprised that the Hylian nobles fronting for the vampires would also eat well. Sometimes, he could smell the pastries and it made his mouth water.

“You shouldn't be interested in this stuff, you know,” Audrey muttered. It was one of the rare times where all five of the vampires were together outside of the training room, gathered with him outside of the kitchens. “You can't eat it. You'll just throw it up.”

“He would be new enough to remember how things taste,” Walter said with a shrug. “The mind is a powerful thing. He probably wants it because his mind is still associating the smell with how he knows solid food tastes.”

“I say we just let him eat and find out what happens,” Marcus muttered with a huff. “Besides, I never went through that.”

“He's right here,” Beth mumbled. “It's rude to talk about people like they aren't around.”

“Link, it's up to you. You can try it if you want but it won't taste like anything and you won't be able to keep it down.”

“Maybe just a spoonful? It's been a while since I had solid food.” Though by the sounds of it, he shouldn't even be worried about that. They were all pretty sure he couldn't keep it down but Link had a nagging feeling that it didn't match his experience. He didn't know when he started being a vampire, at least not down to the day, but he was still eating at the castle and he could keep it down. He didn’t get sick at all. The only thing that clued him into the fact that something was wrong was actually the fact that he didn’t feel full, no matter how much he ate. He had a constant craving that only raw meat did anything for.

Elena raised an eyebrow, then disappeared into the kitchen. She emerged a second later with what looked to be a small amount of cake on a spoon. Just enough for a bite.

“You're going to throw it up,” Audrey warned.

“If he keeps it down for a minute, I'll do more of the babysitting,” Marcus said with a smirk. Link glared at him, then took the spoon out of Elena's hand and shoved it into his mouth.

And damn, it was a good cake. Just from the small chunk he had, it was fluffy and moist and he could taste the chocolate in it! He loved chocolate, but he rarely had it with how hard it was to get, even though he lived with Zelda and could get it any time he wanted. He just felt bad for doing so. He hummed.

“Not that you guys would know, but that was an excellent cake.”

“Well, how do you feel?” Beth asked, tilting her head slightly.

It felt a little heavy but the last time he had solid food was the castle. It was kind of expected that even a small amount wouldn't exactly settle well in his stomach. He didn't feel nauseous though. He said as much out loud, much to the shock of all the vampires in the hallway. All of them, except for Elena, were looking at each other with quirked eyebrows and frowns. Marcus started chewing on his lips with his fangs as he tried to study Link, like he was looking for any sign that would win his little bet after all.

“Really? Not even a little nauseous?”

“You really don't like me, do you?” Link said, rolling his eyes. He wished he had more cake to rub into Marcus' face, but he was sure if he had much more, he would throw it up with how long he went without solid food. He knew that in cases where somebody was starved, you couldn't just feed them a full meal again. He would have to work his way back up to solids, all the while keeping up with all the blood he had to drink to keep himself sane. 

“I've never seen a vampire eat solid food and keep it down,” Elena mumbled with a frown, settling her hands on her hips before she shook her head and started walking back towards the stairs that led to the basement. “I think I might have to write some letters, consult some vampires that are even older than me...”

“Ah, wait for me!” Walter called out as he scrambled to catch up with her. 

“Huh, I can’t believe you stumped Elena,” Beth said. “Good job.” 

Link found himself chewing on his lips with his fangs. Why was he so different? 

Link made it a habit to go into the kitchen while the cooks were working for a small bowl of food to try himself back up to eating solids again. It was part of his plans for a disguise – nobody would think anything was odd if he could eat food alongside everybody else. He could hunt for blood during the night when only a skeleton crew was around to keep watch. He just had to fix his sleeping schedule and confirm one small thing.

He wasn't scared of sunlight itself – his experience differed after all – but he was a bit worried about how he was going to test it out. Link was going to have to sneak past all the servants who knew he was a vampire. There were no windows where the vampires lived since it was underground, so he would have to make it upstairs to a window just to confirm that he could indeed handle the sunlight. Link was also going to have to stay awake since he was getting tired and finding his way back to his borrowed room around the same time the other vampires did.

Link decided to take his chances on a day where he noticed that there were fewer servants around than usual. The vampires usually had a few servants around during the day who did some chores before they left to go back upstairs – he could hear them doing things in the basement on days where he wasn’t in a deep sleep – but he heard fewer footsteps than normal. He cracked his door open, peaked outside, and left when he saw nobody in the hallways.

At this point, he was pretty comfortable navigating the manor even though he only ever ventured upstairs at night with the other vampires. The closest windows were in the hallway that led to the basement, as it gave the vampires an opportunity to see how much light there still was before they left the safety of the staircase. He was sure it was why this hallway in particular had so many damn windows.

By the time he got up there, the entire hallway was lit up by the early morning light. For a moment he hesitated, but Link didn’t get anywhere by turning back when he was scared. He took a deep breath and walked into the hallway, holding out his hand as he approached the light so that he only burnt or lost his hand if he ended up being horrifically wrong.

Nothing happened. His hand was in direct sunlight and nothing happened.

That was all Link needed to walk towards the window and look outside, letting the sun warm his face. He liked the moonlight fine enough but he did miss the sunlight. He missed how much more awake and active the world was during the day. He’d get used only being outside at night, but he was glad he didn’t have to pick and choose.

“What are you doing?” somebody asked. Before Link knew it, he was knocked to the floor towards the stairs and away from the sunlight. “Don’t you know that sunlight is dangerous for vampires?”

Link wiggled out from under whoever tackled him, finding it to be one of the servants that was often in the basement, although he didn’t know her name. To her credit, she was a lot stronger than she looked. “Did it look like it was bad for me?”

The woman paused, but he didn’t get another word in before he could feel the presence of one of the other vampires on the stairs behind him. Marcus. Despite being shorter than Link, and younger if they were both Hylian, Marcus made him feel small, like he was just a little trainee again.

“What are you doing now?” Marcus asked, glaring at Link.

“He was at the windows, in the sun.”

Marcus raised his eyebrows, looking between Link, the servant, and the rays of sunlight in the hallway. Suddenly, the other vampire grabbed his arm and started to drag him down the stairs. He didn’t even give Link a chance to get his feet on the floor but he managed to find his footing quickly.

“Hey! What are you doing?”

He didn’t get a response. Marcus dragged him down the stairs, down a hallway he wasn’t familiar with but he knew that was where some of the vampires slept during the day. He picked a door at the end of the hallway and let himself inside. The first thing Link noticed was the large canopy bed in the middle of the room, which used a dark, lacy fabric for the curtains. He also noticed a couple of torches mounted to the wall, though only one was lit, and a thick red carpet under the bed.

“Elena! Your little project can sit in sunlight and not burn into a crisp!” Marcus called out.

“He can what?” Elena asked quietly as she shuffled around in her bed and opened the curtains of her bed. It was the first time he saw Elena dressed down, wearing only a white, loose nightgown.

“Sunlight doesn’t bother him.”

She sat up straighter and swung her legs so that they dangled off of the side of her bed. “Link, come closer.”

Marcus let him go so that he could. She grabbed his left hand, her hand brushing over the mark of his blessing. She studied his hand. Her intense gaze made him nervous but he stayed silent. Marcus stayed at her door.

“In some ways, you’re exactly like us. Your eyes look the same, your fangs work the same way, blood helped calm you down the first time you came here, and you wouldn’t be able to stomach blood at all if you weren’t a vampire. On the other hand, you can eat solid food and withstand sunlight. You aren’t human, but you aren’t quite a vampire either. I wonder if it’s because you're a carrier of a piece of the golden power that you ended up somewhere in the middle instead.”

“I heard something about Link and sunlight?” Walter asked, his voice drifting in from the door.

“Back when we were in Labrynna, there were plenty of vampires who said that they, or another vampire friend of theirs, knew somebody who was born from a union of a vampire and a human. However, whenever they were asked to prove that this being existed, no proof was ever offered. You may very well be the first half-vampire anybody’s ever seen.”

“You really think so?” Marcus asked.

“Do you have a better explanation for what we’ve noticed?” Elena asked.

Walter hummed. “Half-vampire, huh? Can the Triforce really do that? Just make him half-vampire instead of a regular vampire?”

“It’s protected me before,” Link muttered. He couldn’t think of anything else, unless that weird spell that Cia hit him with only intended to turn him into a half-vampire instead of a full vampire in the first place. He doubted that was the case though. Cia didn’t seem to be the kind to half-ass things. “What do we do now?”

Elena grabbed his other hand so that she held both, then looked into his eyes. “The same thing we were going to do. We’ll make sure you can feed yourself and stay in control. We’ll make sure you can pass as Hylian as much as possible. Once that is done, we’ll send you back to the world so you can do what you have to do. If you have the time and you ever need us... we’ll be here.”

[bluestar22x]

Clean

Summary: You give Javi a blowjob while in the shower

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x Germophobic F!Reader

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Oral sex (m and f receiving), fowl language, excessive use of Spanish terms of endearment

Word Count: 1,830(ish)

Author's Note: This is one of the most spontaneous fics I’ve ever written. Just popped right into my head this morning when I should have been thinking about other things and didn't leave. I thought my idea fit Javi G so here's another Javi fic involving water smut. Oh, and this is my first time writing oral sex so keep that in mind.

xxx

Germophobe. That's what your friends and family had labeled you.

As far as you were concerned it was just common sense. The house wasn't truly clean if you didn't disinfect every surface during housework every week. You should use more than one old cloth when cleaning the toilet (the top of the seat having its own assigned cloth because that's where you sit). You should use hand sanitizer throughout your work day and wipe down your phone when you get home. You should always wash your hands after coming indoors from the outside. You should stay six feet away from strangers as much as possible.

You tried not to think too hard about how most people didn't do all those things. Didn't consider germ protection on a daily basis outside of washing their hands after going to the bathroom (and you knew many didn't even do that and it horrified you if you thought too much about it).

You weren't convinced you were a germophobe. You didn't have the high anxiety most germophobic people had over touching dirty items, but then again, if any part of your clothing touched a toilet you changed out of it as soon as you could, and you could only use a public restroom if there was a promise of a shower later in the day.

You weren't like this before Covid. Or at least not nearly as bad. But after the world quarantined you never quite left that space. It was still out there, after all, even if they were saying it wasn't that serious anymore.

You were bad off enough your family was convinced you'd never keep a man, wondering if you could even handle kissing anymore.

It turned out kissing and even regular ol' sex wasn't a problem with you, you were fine with that. The issue was all your house rules put in place to keep your space a safe zone, like no sitting on the couch if you've sat on any public seat beforehand, eventually wore them down.

After going through five different guys in a span of three years you'd begun to go to therapy sessions in secret, but your therapist said it would be slow going to get you comfortable with typical exposure to microbes even though it was considered completely safe (when was the last time a person got sick from just sitting on the average couch?).

Funny enough, the therapist's office is where you had met Javi seven months ago, striking conversation in the waiting room several times before he finally asked you out. He was there because he'd been manipulated by his toxic family for so long that he was having trouble figuring out his sense of self, and when you'd explained why you were there he was nothing but understanding.

Javi was always considerate of your needs. If you were trying to get past an urge you had to clean something that didn't need cleaning he'd get your mind off it. If you weren't ready to do that, he'd indulge you and even help you clean it. He was never pushy about you making progress. He was just supportive.

He was the same in bed, always letting you take the lead and decide what you wanted when you were trying something new.

It was kind of unspoken that oral was off the table, the mere idea of having your mouth on anyone like that making you highly uncomfortable. And as far as you were concerned, if you weren't giving back, you didn't feel right receiving it. You were sure Javi wouldn't mind if things were one sided, you knew participation during sex wasn't supposed to be some kind of competition, but you were all about taking only as much as you gave. You didn't feel right otherwise. You weren't really interested in any kind of oral sex anyway.

Until you were. Over time, as your relationship grew stronger, after "I love yous" were shared and your love making felt less novel, you started to get curious about it. What would it be like?

So many of your friends had mentioned it before, and it was in so many of the books you read, it was an unavoidable question.

Would it be so bad after a shower? You thought you could handle that. As long as you both showered there would be nothing to worry about, right? It's not like you were unfamiliar to each other. You knew Javi was a clean person and you knew he'd never tested positive for any STDs. There was literally no reason for it to trigger your anxiety.

So one lazy Sunday morning you asked Javi to join you in the master bathroom's shower and started washing with him, not telling him your plans just in case you chickened out.

You both started with your hair, taking turns under the shower head to rinse first the shampoo out, then the conditioner.

After that you both took your fresh washcloths off the bar in the roomy shower and squeezed a palm sized amount of the same unscented body wash onto them. But before he could start rubbing himself down with it you halted Javi, grabbing him loosely by the wrist.

"Let's wash each other," you suggested.

He beamed at you. "Oh? Where would you like me to start, cariño? Here?" He lightly swiped the cloth over your left shoulder. "Or here?" He slid the cloth across your chest, above your breasts, and you grinned before guiding his hand lower, to the top of your right breast.

"Here."

Javi was very thorough, taking his time to soap up your breasts, sweeping under them, and paying special attention to both of your buds until your breaths quickened and your eyes fluttered shut. When your first gasp escaped your lips you felt the cloth in his hand move over your shoulders and back before being dragged down your belly, and between your legs.

"Javi," you choked out as he softly stroked between your folds with the cloth. The friction of the cotton felt good. Very good.

"Beautiful," he whispered, soft eyes on your face.

You opened yours to stare into his lust filled chocolate ones and forced yourself to start wiping him down, starting at his expansive shoulders, pausing at times to kiss him, sliding you tongue against his, exploring his mouth, and to breathe while he continued to seek new places on your body with the cloth in the name of getting clean and so much more.

You reached his dick and balls and took your time to clean every crevice and fold to be found, taking him in your empty hand to gain better access.

The almost innocuous way you were paying attention to him still made his length grow and caused him to groan lowly, almost painfully.

"Sound so good Javi," you praised him. "Wanna make you feel even better, guapo."

You knelt in front of him, discarding the cloth to grasp him firmly in your bare hands as the shower water rinsed away the soap.

He gaped at seeing your mouth so tantalizingly close to his cock, the wanting expression on your face, and sucked in a deep breath. "Are you sure, mi luz?"

"You're clean," you replied. "And I'm curious. If you're okay with it?"

"More than, cariño." Whatever you wanted to give him he would take, no matter how little or how much, it was always intoxicating. But if you wanted to try something different, he wouldn't dare say no. He could never say no to you.

You tentatively swept your tongue over his tip, knowing from all the times you'd given him a hand job that it was really sensitive, and you were rewarded with a hiss and the sight of his jaw clenching.

He leaned forward on one hand against the tiled wall of the shower above you as you licked an experimental line up his well-trimmed shaft and squeezed it with your hands before dipping your head back down to suck on his head.

To your pleasant surprise he didn't taste like much of anything except maybe a hint of remnant soap. Mostly he just tasted clean, and felt firm and warm.

Giving oral probably wasn't going to be your new favorite thing, but when you took as much of him as possible into your mouth and a loud moan tore out of him as he reached to cradle the back of your head, you decided this wasn't going to be the last time.

The sounds he made, the way he shuddered at your every touch and lick, made the threat of gagging worth it and pushed away any thoughts of sanitation out of your brain.

And, you thought, if he was reacting to you like this when you'd never given oral before, how would he react once you were more experienced and smooth about it?

You definitely wanted to find out.

For now you drew on what you knew about him already and what you could recall from the books you'd read. Maybe they weren't the most reliable source, but bobbing on him like they described sure seemed to get a positive reaction.

You could see him fighting an urge to move his hips for your sake, and it drove you to show him your appreciation all the more, to thoroughly put your mouth and hands to work.

His knees trembled and you felt yourself leaking at the sight of it, at the guttural groan he released, the sensation of your hot, wet mouth and hands on his cock clearly overwhelming him.

It took one gentle tug of his left ball with your hand and he was pulling away, freeing himself from your mouth. You watched as his cock jerked with his release, his cum spurting onto the shower floor, and he shouted his pleasure out along with it, panting heavily after.

"Shit."

You smiled up at him, proudly as you gripped his thick thigh tightly, wishing you could replay the noises he'd made over and over. "Not bad for my first try?"

He helped you up onto your feet and kissed you feverishly, so intensely you were gasping when you broke apart. "Good then?"

He laughed lightly, sounding almost delirious. "Mi amor, I don't deserve you."

"It's not about deserve," you told him.

"But you are about keeping score, si?"

"Equality," you corrected.

"Please let me, preciosa," he murmured into your ear heatedly, and the next thing you knew he was guiding you back against the shower wall, kissing his way down your body as he sank to his knees, and hiking up one of your legs to gain better access to your pussy, using one of his huge hands to help you keep your balance.

He waited for your yes then ducked down, licking a long strip from your front to your clit. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head with the jolting pleasure the pressure of his tongue sent through your body and you opened up wider to him as you arched against the wet tile behind you, a drawn out moan slipping from you.

Yeah, oral was definitely growing on you.

xxx

Tagged: @harriedandharassed

xxx

Main Masterlist

xxx

[destinyc1020]

This is no shade at all!! (Just a bit of perspective from someone who is an immensely huge fan of Austin!!)

I think this is just important to say out loud because there are so many misconceptions/ false pretenses of him!

A lot of the things Austin says in interviews tend to be taken out of context! For example his actors on actors interview, with Janelle Monae. He said "he didn't see his family for three years"... Now the media/articles/ internet ran with that dubbing him some insane method actor that isolated himself from his family and never spoke to them. Which couldn't be farther from the actual truth, the context on why he said that is so important (it's also in the rest of the interview). He filmed Elvis in Australia (the film took so long to produce due to force majeure being called on the film and most notably the Covid-19 pandemic). He didn't "see" his family in a literal sense due to quarantine, he still lived his own life and spoke with them everyday he could!

That's just one of many instances where the media miss construed what he's said and blatantly leave out key elements to the bigger picture!

I suppose I say this not to start anything just know that!! 😭 But to say that I don't think he is fully to blame for the "mistakes" he made you know what I mean?

Also when people discuss him going so "hard" on the role, people equate that to him being some insane method actor. But from the beginning he has always said when preparing for this role he never thought he was Elvis, never wanted people to call him Elvis he just spoke like Elvis for three years, because he felt it would be easier to not have to consciously think about doing the accent!

I hate how twitter has demeaned all the things he went through during filming, as him being a crazy method actor when in reality he just has a really big work ethic! He adores what he does and the fact that people can't see that to the point that they have to make fun of him and his obviously real voice is just gross. (It boggles my mind how people can genuinely hate him over something as simple as his voice! these tweets about him raking up 800k likes, I didn't know people could be so obsessed!! People need to focus their energy on people who are actually bad...)

His voice would obviously change with that much strain on it, he sang like Elvis everyday for three years of course his vocal chords wouldn't return to how they were immediately! It sort of reminds me of how Britney Spears sang in the "baby voice" so much that now she cannot sing (or at least be stable) in her naturally deep singing voice!

As your resident Austin girly! I can admit he was too naive when it came to promoting Elvis, but people online should be way more compassionate and understanding that this was his first big film that he was leading and he put his blood, sweat, tears and soul into the role! He was just excited, and him being excited shouldn't have been condemned like that.

He continues to be way too kind to the media, even when they have been beyond cruel to him! I think that just shows how good of a character he has! In a perfect world people would be way kinder to him, because if they gave him a chance they would see how absolutely kind, passionate, and incredible of a person he is. They would love him if they didn't judge him first!

I hope my little rant in some way made sense!! Sorry if it comes off weird lmaooo

Hey Austin Girlie Anon! 👋🏾

Welcome to my blog. 🥰 I didn't sense any shade at all, don't worry!

I totally agree with a LOT of what you said.

Also when people discuss him going so "hard" on the role, people equate that to him being some insane method actor. But from the beginning he has always said when preparing for this role he never thought he was Elvis, never wanted people to call him Elvis he just spoke like Elvis for three years, because he felt it would be easier to not have to consciously think about doing the accent!

All of this! And even JE said he did the same EXACT thing in his recent GQ interview, yet I don't see anybody saying anything. 🤷🏾‍♀️

He didn't "see" his family in a literal sense due to quarantine, he still lived his own life and spoke with them everyday he could!

^^THANK YOU! I think that comment was taken waaaaay out of context. He was prepping for Elvis in 2019, and was supposed to film in 2020, but then the pandemic happened, and Tom Hanks caught covid as well, so production was HALTED for about half a year! Nobody was traveling during that time.

I myself didn't "see" my own family for almost 2 years due to covid! 2019 - 2021 🥴 But that doesn't mean we don't talk just about every single day. He was obviously keeping in touch with family when he could, even if he couldn't see them in person.

I hate how twitter has demeaned all the things he went through during filming, as him being a crazy method actor when in reality he just has a really big work ethic! He adores what he does and the fact that people can't see that to the point that they have to make fun of him and his obviously real voice is just gross.

Yea, it's ridiculous. He definitely has a very strong work ethic, because even Vanessa said he has one of the strongest work ethics she's ever known. And I'm sure that was one of the reasons why he impressed Denzel Washington.

People hating on him for that is just weird to me. 🥴

(It boggles my mind how people can genuinely hate him over something as simple as his voice! these tweets about him raking up 800k likes, I didn't know people could be so obsessed!! People need to focus their energy on people who are actually bad...)

It literally is ridiculous. Save that energy for people out here who are rapists, racists, abusers, rude, hateful, violent, and misogynists for goodness sakes. The whole voice hate thing is really dumb and overly played out. 🙄 It's also such a dumb reason for disliking someone.

Btw, his voice doesn't sound that different to me?? 🥴

This was 7 Years ago:

He sounds pretty much the same to me. 🤷🏾‍♀️

As your resident Austin girly! I can admit he was too naive when it came to promoting Elvis, but people online should be way more compassionate and understanding that this was his first big film that he was leading and he put his blood, sweat, tears and soul into the role! He was just excited, and him being excited shouldn't have been condemned like that.

I didn't see anything wrong w/how he handled the insane schedule had for the Elvis press tour, AND the crazy awards season. He, Baz, and the entire cast poured their whole heart and soul into that film, and you can tell!

People hating on him for that just comes off as bitter tbh.

He continues to be way too kind to the media, even when they have been beyond cruel to him! I think that just shows how good of a character he has! In a perfect world people would be way kinder to him, because if they gave him a chance they would see how absolutely kind, passionate, and incredible of a person he is. They would love him if they didn't judge him first!

Like I always say on here on my blog Anon, unfortunately, people hating on actors is just par for the course in this industry. Actors are just going to get hate no matter what, sad to say. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Unfortunately, you can't MAKE people like someone. People either like you or they don't. 🤷🏾‍♀️

But I agree with you...Austin has always seemed like a sweet and humble guy...even when he was acting as a kid. I always look at people who hate him, and I'm like: "Are we talking about the same person??" 🥴 It just seems so unnecessary, and I get the feeling ppl view him in a way that's totally opposite from how he is irl lol.

Anyway, I hope he stays grounded, cuz that industry can be vicious. It's good he's not on social media much, cuz it can be so toxic.

[theblackdeathstravelblog]

Florence, Italy

Next, I shall describe my observations and experiences in one of the most beautiful and distinguished cities in Italy: Florence! Well, it was before I got there...

Here, it seemed that people thought I was sent as punishment from God. I'm not quite sure about that one... they needed to find some reason behind my effect on people. Did it occur to NO ONE that I am simply a worldly traveler, seeking a journey through the Italian Peninsula? I can't help that I'm a deadly bacteria :( Anyways...

As soon as people started getting sick, they closed off the city from anyone wanting to enter and anyone wanting to leave.

They showed the same symptom as before, the swollen lymph nodes that oozed pus. The people of Florence called them "gavoccioli". How I love the Italian language! It's one of the romance languages, you know. These "gavoccioli" spread all over their bodies and turned black (this is where my nickname comes from, the Black Death!).

The doctors in Florence were at a loss on what to do to treat the sick. Most of the patients they treated died by the third day of the symptoms appearing. The doctors couldn't figure out the cause of what was making them sick and they had no idea what remedy to use. I am microscopic, so no one knew that it was ME behind it all.

I spread VERY quickly, just by touching the clothes of the sick could infect someone! I was even infecting the animals. I was on a roll!

The "becchini" were those of lower class who were the gravediggers. They would collect the dead bodies to place them in any unoccupied grave available. Just like in Sicily, there was no time nor no room for a proper burial.

Soon, some people were staying in their homes (quarantining, if you will) and wouldn't allow anyone to speak of the sick and dead that were outside. They lived in their own world. However, there were some that did the opposite! They lived life to the fullest, drinking and laughing and singing and enjoying the pleasures of life. But, most people were somewhere in the middle of this wide spectrum of behavior.

One way that the people of Florence tried to avoid the illness was by carrying flowers, spices, or other things rich in scents because they believed the smells would purify the air for them as they breathed in. The stench of the dead and overall sickness was quite pungent, to say the least.

Just like in Sicily, people turned away from each other. The sick were abandoned by those they knew, all sense of community had decayed before my eyes during my visit. At one point, the city was filled with corpses.

Near the end of my visit, the city was empty. All those that were once there either perished or were able to escape before I got to them. I arrived in a bustling city and left a ghost town.

[valeriixchen]

her expression made it clear she had no idea what was brewing between ashton and the female scarface but she believed his claim regardless. "shit ash, she's like one of the four people in this building who could actually kill you." any one of the residents could try, sure, but with ashton's training and common sense most of them wouldn't stand a chance.

but sada was... insidious. she plotted. while the idea of sada orchestrating and carrying out a murder while not even on the same floor as her target made a chill crawl up valerii's spine, she couldn't deny that she was impressed. "i'd say make sure you don't let her get you alone in a room but i don't think she needs to be that close to kill you." valerii probably wasn't helping. ash confiding this in her was proof enough that he was already well aware of the very real danger he had found himself in.

after a moment of thought she quirked her head. "we could probably get away with it during your quarantine. i'll be getting samples from you anyway." at the very least they could spend some time in his room practicing her stance, taking whatever pointers ash could offer. hell, if she brought up some of the mats from the gym they could even spar. "i think we just found a way to keep you from losing your sanity." and... maybe ash spending so much time on the quarantine floor would be a good way for val to keep an eye on him if sada tried something. it wasn't ideal but it was better than him sleeping with one eye open for the foreseeable future.

she should've expected that sort of answer from him; from a soldier. she pursed her lips then gave a half-hearted smile. "not your first rodeo, huh?"

"yeah... I'm still working on a list." a lie. what was preventing her from telling the scouts what she needed was the indecision over if it would just be easier for her to go with them. she didn't expect them to be able to identify everything she needed.

Ash scoffed at the ugly memory of being the one finding the poor sod Hawthorn naked and tied up. "Honestly I feel like I'm next once she gets bored enough so if I go missing, you know who did it," he joked, but was it really a joke? He really didn't put it past Sada to kill him one day, the most nervous might've been having her live right next door, thank god she's gone back to her ivory tower upstairs. Though he was curious of the people that have gotten on the path of Val's anger, one he'd rather never be in the line of sight of. But he never asked, not one to pry about interpersonal problems.

He knew to read between the lines with that question, he rubbed the back of his neck, "eh I'm sure we can work something out," he let out a small humorless laugh to that, "I've promised Charlie I'd stick around at least for a few days. Just let me know when." Even though this would probably drive him more insane just not having anything to do. Perhaps this would be something to fill the void and as Charlie said, help the people who are still here. He felt the pang of guilt not having check this in with Val earlier. But he can now.

Ash hesitated to the loaded question as he thought about the best way to articulate the answer, would a straight answer be yes and no? The fear and adrenaline is what keeps him alive. He's trained to never lose that fear. But on the bigger picture of asking is he afraid to die out there? "I think.. I've come to terms with death a long time ago." A small shrug as he rested his elbows on his legs, looking towards her. He's faced it multiple times and his relationship with death was something he was also trained to be ready for. "Rather be useful and die than be useless in here. But that's just me." That's what he'd be if he sat around here doing nothing. Val on the other hand still had so much to give in the building. "Heard there might be supplies you need?" Perhaps that was the silent answer of resolute that he'd still go out there.

[danafeelingsick]

Hello! It's me again, the one who asked permission to write somwthing based off your art!

Lemme ask you something real quick!

Tristamp Vash's been around for about 150 years, do you think he ever got sick during this time?

If he has never been sick in his life, do you think his plant powers would make it even worse?

Can you imagine him feeling sick/nauseous for the first time and not understanding what is happening with his body?

I dont know why, I can see his powers making him suffer a little more with what to Meryl is something normal

hi there! thanks so much for your interest. i'm honored some of my art inspired you (˶◜ᵕ◝˶) hope this ramble down here made any sense though:

i think maybe yes. even though I love the trope of a non-human sickie experiencing nausea for the first time, i feel like tristamp vash needing to eat and sleep leaves him very vulnerable to picking up a stomach bug or eating something bad. we already know '98 and trimax both get sick, i think trimax vash even had a chapter where he was sick and feverish (but it didn't go into detail sadly). and when that happens he probably gets very sick for several days, and has to deal with that all by himself. or maybe he returns to Home for help.

but if you'd rather go the route of he never got sick before and the first time happens around Meryl, Wolfwood and Roberto, then you can also excuse it by him being around humans for long enough got him sick (he picked up something off them). i mean, do scenarios like that even need an explanation?

going into light spoilers for tri/gun stam/pede here!

ooh, and i totally can imagine him experiencing nausea for the first time. he doesn't notice the first symptoms since he has a good tolerance for pain, but internal pain he doesn't know the cause is a new one. so he ignores the shivers, the discomfort, but that stomach-sinking feeling every now and then he can't really place it. and when he starts to feel queasy it's such a foreign feeling he can't help but get anxious, not knowing what's wrong. it evolves to a point where he is dizzy, he so feels bad, he feels heavy, gross and slimy and he just needs to sit down and try to collect himself, and maybe keep himself from crying.

or he could just not get sick that often because his body probably knows how to deal with it, or he isn't as susceptible to illness. it has to be something very gnarly to get him actually sick, like exhaustion and lack of care, some made-up bug only plants get.

about his plant anatomy when sick: aside from the glowing patterns showing up if he's too weak to surpress them, maybe they show up exactly where it hurts (maybe they light a trail from his belly all the way up to his throat when he's about to puke 😳). vash being a plant (this is my own interpretation and do remember i am fairly dumb with those things) means he can transform his energy into other things, although it's something he can't quite control, so when he's sick these processes get all twisted. he probably produces a lot of heat and gets super high fevers, like could burn – not really burn but make it uncomfortable to the touch – someone if they try to hold him for too long. he can't handle food at all, so giving him soup is just so he'll have something to vomit because that won't stay down, and he won't really be able to digest it. maybe those black vines come out of his limbs too, but those either don't last long or he won't let anyone see them. and i feel like Vash could influence the smaller life-forms around him when he's sick, so they often quarantined him back in Home so it wouldn't damage the flora there, or maybe all of the worms would avoid him if he was in the desert, he probably avoided the citys too, just in case whatever he had was contagious.

it's all down hill from there. he doesn't really know how to hold in his vomit, or what nausea even feels like, so when he starts gagging and feeling like his belly is trying to turn itself out, the fear finally gets to him.

i feel like he would be very guilty and apologetic about vomiting once he knows what it is exactly. he doesn't need as much food as humans do, resources are scarce, but he does feel hunger and thirst, and it still feel wrong about wasting anything.

ooo rant over

[crane--here]

I'm currently replaying the following, and it got me wondering. Do you think the blue stuff (aka the liquid/mist that transformed Kyle) has anything to do with the version of THV in the 2nd game (especially Aiden)? Both have the same (or at least very similar) blue to them, (even tho they could have chosen any other color to represent the infection, like the yellow for Kyle's) and both are sensitive to light (whereas the original didn't give two shits if you stayed outside past your bedtime of you got your antazin). We do know that crates of THV have been taken from Harran as well, so yeah. And I also just can't help but draw parallels between Aiden going into "volatile mode" and Kyle gradually transforming during the fight with the mother. Only main difference is that Aiden's version is more instantaneous and well, it doesn't make him fully transform.

this is an EXCELLENT catch, and something that i've been speculating about as well!

you're very right, the contents of the vials and the current thv strain are very, VERY similar in a lot of regards - and it's something worth bringing attention to. just about everything you mentioned can be linked between the two. like, the choice to represent aiden's seizure with the blue tint in contrast to kyle's orange ones was something that i INSTANTLY caught on. artistic direction? or perhaps deeper connection between the two?

we could very well speculate that the origin of the thv is linked to the blue stuff. now, the main concern here is that the current strain most likely did not come directly from the vials, as per cut voice line from the following ending:

- Look I just need that medicine to save my friends! - You mean these vials? How many are left? Two, three? You would only prolong their anguish.

jasmine states that there have been only a few of the vials left by the time crane confronts her, and he most likely took every last of them while trying to leave the dam. HOWEVER, we cannot throw the possibility of this being retconned out of the window (this voice line can only be found in the game files after all). we can also speculate that, possibly, kyle was the one to spread this very strain outside and within the quarantine zone when he turned

but how did the gre exactly get ahold of this strain? the answer is:

yeah, this forgotten game! who would've thought that a dying light battle royale would hold lore we're looking for?

in case people are unaware of this game, the premise is that dozen of players are thrown into the quarantine zone and fight with each other for their lives while trying to gather samples from hives. the main goal is to gather enough samples to be escorted by a helicopter outside of the quarantine zone. the map itself IS the slums! very overgrown with wildlife, and with NOTICEABLE changes in the tower

while there's no official statement, bad blood is most likely canon, and may hint at the possibility of crane bringing the very different strain of the harran virus back to the slums. we really wouldn't know though, with his fate being so vague

i've also seen people speculate that the gre somehow caught crane and got his strain directly from him. this might be reaching as there's no concrete evidence, but it's not exactly out of the question either

it all could very well make sense. as you pointed out aiden's and kyle's behavior while turning is EERILY similar. so perhaps even if the thv strain isn't connected to the blue liquid, the serum aiden and other kids were administered is? there's so many possibilities, but i honestly believe there HAS to be some sort of link between the two. techland wouldn't set up something as monumental and important in the following only to throw it away in the sequel, now would they?

[agentmarymargaretskitz]

Buck: Today we're talking about the Legend of the Dred Pirate Jiwe.

Eddie: Seriously?

Buck: Yes.

Eddie: *sighs and pulls out his phone*

Buck: Wh- Babe, what are you doing?

Eddie: I'm calling Chimney. He deserves to be here for this one.

~30 minutes later~

Chimney: Okay so why am I here?

Buck: We're talking about the Legend of the Dred Pirate Jiwe.

Chimney: Seriously?

Eddie; *nods* (whether this is in excitement or in resigned defeat is unclear)

Chimney: Oh, this is gonna be good!

(This is Chimney's first guest appearance. He appears quite frequently after this.)

-

Buddie's 100th episode is about Eddie himself.

Buck: Theory number 4: Eddie is a clone.

Eddie: *bursts into giggles*

Buck: Eddie?

Eddie: I promise you babe, I'm not a clone. I personally know two people who are clones, they're good friends of mine actually, but I'm not one.

Buck; *narrows his eyes suspiciously* But if you were a clone, would you know it?

Eddie: I have baby photos of myself, and I don't have any missing gaps in my memory where I could have been cloned. Also, a clone wouldn't have any of my scars, and I still have all of those.

Buck: Okay, fair. So theory 4 is bullshit then?

Eddie: Yes, theory 4 is bullshit.

-

Also, Bigfoot is just a time-traveling Grodd wreaking havoc in the Pacific Northwest.

-Quarantine Anon

As soon as Buck introduces that, Eddie does a double take and knows he needs Chimney there. If Buck doesn't know Eddie knows the inspiration behind Dread Pirate Jiwe, he sure as hell will know after the episode airs.

But yes, Chimney gets to guest star. Eddie puts the podcast on hold because they had fun with it when it was happening, and they're gonna have fun with it now. Chimney is peppering in fantastic pirate jokes and puns and Eddie is being a bit of a shit with the history.

(In the temporal zone, Behrad is having a special listening session in his room. Astra is insanely jealous of them)

Chimney does come on several more times. He has an armada of dad jokes and will get into it with Eddie on the history ("You could not have taken Blackbeard in a fight." "I could." "No way." "He's a WIMP!")

OMG 100th episode- YES! Chimney gets to guest star for this one and somehow so does Hen. Eddie goes between being sassy and driving the fans nuts with his elusiveness. But as soon as he mentions clones, everyone is like 'Eddie, how do you know clones??? How are they your friends?" and thinking fast, he blurts out "Twins."

Buck: That's not how twins work.

Theory 4 is bullshit. But Theory 3- Eddie is a ghost- has Eddie confirming he is not a ghost.

Buck: Yeah, I can touch him and my hand doesn't go through.

Eddie internally: I will not do this to my boyfriend.,

(Unless somehow he and Chim lose their powers but IDK)

They go on a Bigfoot trip with Christopher. Eddie ends up seeing Grodd and OH, that makes sense.

(Also, I can only imagine how he and Chimney must have felt if they dealt with Grodd with the Legends. "How do you think Maddie would respond if someone called this in?" "I don't even know how to describe this.")

[straydawg-writing]

𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞'𝐬 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦.

- 𝓚. 𝙯𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙮𝙘𝙠

• hunter x hunter series!

summary:

┍━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┑

𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙝 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮.

𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙩𝙝.

𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩, 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙨 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙨.

ˏˋ♡̩͙♡̩̩̥͙♡̩̥̩ ⋆ ♡̩̥̩♡̩̩̥͙♡̩͙̩͙ˊˎ

- 𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧, 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙂𝙤𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙆𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙪𝙖. 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙡𝙤𝙩. (𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙨𝙚𝙩 𝙙𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙧𝙖 𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙘)

┕━━━━━♥♠♣♦━━━━━┙

Chapter 1 —

⋯✰⋯

"Book."

"Gain!"

Bisky's eyes shined like stars as a smooth blue gemstone appeared in front of her. You could spot tears of hers spring up as she cradled the glittering rock like it was the most precious thing in the world.

"What should I name it? Blue-chan? Planet-chan?" she gushed, bouncing on the balls of her feet. You stifled a laugh, catching a glimpse of Killua's dumbfounded expression. If one thing were true, it's that he does not understand women.

While Gon and Killua endured Bisky's brutal training during Greed Island, you had grown to like her. Despite her being 45 years older than you, you imagined she was the closest thing to what a big sister would be like. Or maybe a mom? You wouldn't know.

Unfortunately, you weren't special enough to escape her unforgiving training either. Bisky knew no mercy. While training their physical bodies, she also trained the trio's nen abilities.

Gon developed his special punch move by using the rock, paper, scissors of Chinese martial arts. Killua learned how to better channel his electricity, though Bisky had looked concerned when he first demonstrated it to her. You couldn't blame her. Killua's ability to withstand electricity only came from years of shock torture, and you noticed how he rarely mentions the fact that he still feels the pain. You caught on to it the night you watched his Heaven's Arena match, remembering his voice floating to the stands.

"𝘐'𝘮 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘐𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘦. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘐𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘴."

Your heart clenched for him every time you remember this fact. He has a tendency to hide his pain, in order to not burden his friends.

Then there's you, who Bisky took upon herself to help.

Since the day Wing opened your nen pores and declared you a Manipulator, you practiced your nen with Gon and Killua daily. When the time came to decide your special ability, the answer was as clear to you as a cloudless sky.

𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴.

Since then you'd been seen carrying around leather pouches of dirt, water, and vines wherever you went. It was a nice start, but it sure did make your back hurt. And of course, Bisky would not accept that. Ordering you to dump out all of your pouches to the ground, she had you draw out your power from the scattered elements that had begun already mixing with the dirt.

Unsure, you had hesitantly stretched out your arm and tried pulling from the water. It took you a number of tries to get it right. You had squinted long and hard, focusing on extending your nen to the elements around you. To your giddy surprise, small, sparkling droplets of H20 were separating from the glob of inky mud to float just a few inches above your hands. Concentrating harder, the droplets began orbiting one another. They looked like little planets.

Sensing the vines, you were able to control their movements too, even manipulating ones that hadn't originated from your leather pouch.

Bisky's wide smile was all that you needed.

From that day on, you only practiced manipulating whatever was around you. The earth was your ally.

"Well, what will you do once you find Ging?" Bisky's voice snapped you out of a daze.

"Naturally, I'll introduce him to Killua, my best friend in the whole world!"

"What am I, a roach?" You mocked, but couldn't keep a smile from spreading across your face.

Gon's unyielding positivity and bubbly voice was like honey to your ears. No one could ever doubt the adoration he held for his best friend.

"Stupid, cut that out! It's embarrassing," said Killua, turning red as a tomato. He looked away in an attempt to hide his embarrassment, except you were right there to catch his blush.

You flashed a mischievous smile to Killua. "You know, I think an I-Love-You-Too-Gon-I-Also-Think-You're-The-Best would suffice once in a while."

"Shut up."

Killua was as stubborn as ever. You are playfully rolled your eyes before turning your attention back to the rest of the group. Gon was inviting Bisky to come with them and meet Ging, but she had said something about not being interested in men who already have kids.

"If I stay with you any longer, I really will get too attached..." Bisky tried to mask it, but you've always been good at noticing little details. She was going to miss them. And truth be told, you were going to miss her too.

"The hunter world is a small place. We'll all see each other again in no time!" you reassured your friends. "See you later, Bisky."

"Take care, Bisky." Gon said his goodbyes, Killua nodding next to him.

⋯✰⋯

"Accompany on."

"Nigg!"

At that, a bright light enveloped all of them, streaking them through the sky. Every time you did this on Greed Island, you had always shut your eyes tight. You'd never get used to the feeling.

The next thing you knew, the three of you landed in an area thick with white fog. It was slightly chilly, causing you to shiver. A hundred feet in front of you was a tall sakura tree with roots so large they could be mistaken for a magical beast. It had to have been there for at least a couple hundred years. Soft, pink petals drifted in the wind, dancing around you and your friends. As your eyes focused, you noticed a shadowy man reclining on the tree's roots. Could it be Ging?

Before you realized what was happening, the mysterious man turned towards the three of you and opened fire on Gon.

Then, Killua was diving in slow motion and pulling Gon out of the way and the two of them were rolling on the ground holding onto each other. Getting a hold of your senses, you looked down at dozens of bullets that had made holes in the ground and noticed an injured ant lying motionless on the floor. The thing was completely decapitated.

"Now look what you've done, you killed an innocent soul!" you exclaimed to the man, pointing at the poor bug.

"That's not Ging..." Gon whispered.

"What was that all about?! First, you push us down, then you fire at us. Stop messing around!" Killua accused the Not-Ging.

After helping Gon back up, Killua examined the insect too. That is, before it ruthlessly attacked him.

"Oh. It wasn't dead," you stated the obvious.

The man quickly finished off the ant biting Killua's leg with his machine gun before scoffing at you. He took off the black jacket he was wearing, unveiling straight, platinum white hair so long it almost touched the floor. You could get a better look at him now. He was lanky, and the beret he wore casted a shadow over his eyes. If you had to guess, you'd say he's about 6'3. Just who was this man? Had God finally sent an angel to cleanse you from your sins?

"I was being dead serious. If I hadn't opened fire, you would have been attacked. That was no ordinary ant, it was a Chimera Ant."

"A what?"

"An aggressive, carnivorous insect that's been designated Quarantine Level 1. You three didn't realize it, but you were standing right in front of their nest. If I hadn't fired the moment I did, an army of Chimera Ants would have consumed all of you by now," the angel explained.

You gawked at his beautiful long locks, gracefully flying in the wind as he turned to leave.

Gon seemed to have recognized the man, asking something about if he were the one who had saved him back then. Gon told a story about being rescued from a fox bear, though it looked like he had remembered something else because he held his cheek as if he'd just been hit. For the first couple of seconds, the man looked at Gon like he was in denial about the person right in front of him. Then, like it was nothing, he called Gon by his name. And if by a miracle, he also knew Ging.

"My name is Kite. Ging was my master."

You nudged Killua, "Did you hear that?! He knows Gon's dad!" Killua looked just as shocked as you.

The three of you followed Kite to a small campfire as he told them stories about Ging, himself, and his current mission. You were thankful for the heat source, warming your hands against the flame as it was only getting colder as night fell. You cursed yourself for not being like Gon and Killua, who always had their long sleeve layers and could just strip them whenever the weather deemed it necessary. All you were wearing were burgundy shorts, combat boots, and a black t-shirt. And of course, your necklace. You reached your hand and held onto the choker pendent around your neck. It was all you had left of your home. Just holding onto the pink pendent brought you enough comfort to warm you from the inside out again.

The sun was beginning to set by the time you met Kite's friends and the cute dog that had taken a liking to Gon. Your eyes softened as you watched Gon play with the puppy, having found its sweet spot right behind its ear. He caught you staring, and flashed his pearly whites.

"Y/N, come rub his belly! He's so soft!"

Getting up from your spot next to Killua and wiping the dust off your shorts, you traveled to where Gon was now teaching the dog new tricks.

"How are you gonna teach him anything without any dog treats?" you asked, petting the little dog.

"With this!" Gon pulls out a handful of goldfish from his pocket. He tossed one to the pup, who caught it in midair.

You held in a laugh. "Gon, why do you just have goldfish lying around in your pockets like that?"

"You don't always have time to snack when you're training you know.. Plus, It's in a baggy!" He showed you the zip -block bag that was stuffed inside the pocket of his green shorts, bashfully rubbing the back of his neck. This time you couldn't help but let out a laugh.

"Oh I see, as long as it's in a bag, right? Can I see one?"

Gon nodded and put some goldfish in the palm of your hand. Looking for Killua, you spotted him sitting on a log watching as the sun set under the ocean's horizon. He looked so ethereal as the orange light reflected off of him. The light made his fluffy white hair shine, and a slight breeze made delicate strands wisp in the wind like snowflakes. You almost felt bad for disturbing the picturesque scene in front of you.

"Hey, Killua! Come feed this dog Gon's two-year-old musty goldfish with me!"

Yeah, you had ruined the moment.

"It's not two years old! I bought it in Yorknew," he whined.

"But it's musty?"

Killua walked up to the two of you with a questioning look, and you paused your bickering to hold open his hand and transfer the goldfish. The dog barked.

"I'm not sure, animals typically run away once they smell Mike on me," he said, referring to the oversized human-eating guard dog at the Zoldyck estate. Considering it's job was to deter people, you guessed that made sense. Still, you had faith that this innocent pup could show Killua some love. He needed the free therapy.

"Just try it!" Gon pushed.

Killua succumbed to Gon's request, holding the treat out to the tail-wagging puppy. Though, instead of taking the treat, it knocked Killua clean over, licking his face.

"What the heck— Help!" Killua desperately tried wiping the slimy slobber off of his lips.

"I think he's trying to kiss you." You giggled.

Mission accomplished!

"Kite did say that hunters are well-liked by animals. This means you're a great hunter, Killua!" Gon excitedly shared.

Killua offered a small smile. "I haven't passed the test yet, dummy."

⋯✰⋯

author's notes: hope you guys liked the first chapter! i'm excited to keep this story going!

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤