#and i sympathize with horrors a lot so that's an experience

[catboybiologist]

thanks for your explanation about the roots of transmisogyny and ergo why transandrophia doesnt make sense as a counterpart - found that explanation enlightening.

as a trans man, there’s another piece to the misogyny ive faced that maybe you have thoughts on? since i was raised and treated as a woman for the first two decades of my life, i was often considered less capable or less worthy of awards/promotions/etc just for being a “woman”. now that i pass, i experience male privilege, but underneath that, i still have all the setbacks of 21 years of misogyny (setbacks that my trans sister, for example, never faced. not trying to play oppression olympics here to be clear!). so i have male privilege in the present moment but not the snowball effect that cis men have.

anyway, i appreciate your clear and thoughtful breakdown of how these structures of oppression operate, and am interested in any thoughts you might have on this angle

So yeah, these are thoughts I've grappled with a lot, and honestly get really personal. They're also thoughts that I talk to a lot of cis women about, and is a reason why I think it's important for trans women to have more solidarity with cis women.

Misogyny does affect trans women pre-transition, let's be clear. Vilification of feminity and being branded as "faggotgender" are manifestations of misogyny as well, and trans women will often have this experience. I was, and the series of incidents that I consider my worst interactions with transmisogyny were actually technically pretransiton, when I was questioning and tepidly telling people that.

With that out of the way, that experience is MUCH different than what most transmascs and cis women go through. One compare and contrast I've made with some cis friends is their first experiences with sexualization. I was first nonconsensually approached and followed by a man in public when I was 26 years old. For my cis friends, it was as early as 11.

That does shit to you. That's trauma inducing. I'm not going to deny that it is, because that would be horrifying.

Cis women have also had to deal with exactly what you said: not being taken seriously as a professional for years. Trans women don't necessarily have that until they transition.

The flip side of this, however, is that trans women face misogyny in ways that are far more silent and isolated than cis women.

Alongside their horror stories, my cis friends have also told me of the support: mothers, sisters, friends, community members, older women who protected them, pulled them aside, gave them love and sympathy, attacked the men who targeted them, and gave them advice on how to keep their head up in the face of sexual danger and professional sexism.

Trans women, more often than not, get none of that.

There was no one to defend me or sympathize with me the first time I got sexually assaulted. No one believed me when I noticed people rapidly taking me less seriously after I socially transitioned. No one believed that I was "enough of a woman" to get catcalled.

Slowly, over time, that changed. But it changed because I had open and honest conversations about it with people- and I would say I have a strong network of friends and supporters now, precisely because I've engaged with the different ways this has affected us.

It's all a balance. I'm not doing anything oppression Olympics here, and neither are you! These are important experiences to compare and contrast. In fact, let's take that lack of support I mentioned: the first people I started getting support from, were the same cis women telling me those sorties. Breaking down the barriers, talking openly about how to navigate a misogynist world, and restating that yes, the force we're feeling is misogyny is a super important thing to bring into your day to day life.

Bit of a personal pontification and guilt under the cut.

This cuts at a bit of guilt I've been feeling recently.

I graduated high school as a man.

I got admitted to my undergrad as a man, and started research there as a man.

I got my Bachelor's of Science as a man.

I got my first Masters of Science as a man.

I was admitted to a PhD program as a man.

I transitioned.

I dropped out as a woman.

I've felt a lot of complicated feelings of failure and guilt around this. They're deeply rooted to other parts of my life too personal to talk about on tumblr. But... Yeah. This is all part of it. And yeah, I do see how I was propped up in the past, and how much of that I've lost.

Along the way, I had a lot of silent oppression as well. But I still don't talk about those, and to the world, it still looks like I became a woman and immediately crumpled. What kind of message does that send?

Idk. I know this is dumb. But yeah. Shit sucks.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I actually like Malleus quite a bit but to be fair his fans (not all of course but some of them) makes it hard to like him sometimes because it feels like they are forcing you to like him.

The thing with Malleus is it's either players that love him to a scary degree and players who hate him to also a scary degree which makes him an overwhelming character for me like I would have liked him more if I wasn't in the fandom.

He is treated way differently by the fandom (mainly the En) then other characters.

Like for example I see the players who dislike Leona publicly rarely get harassed unlike the ones who dislike Malleus.

Aaaaah 💦 For better or for worse, Malleus is a character that gets “special” treatment, both in-universe (OP, crown prince, etc.) and in the fandom. I don’t think you’d be the first to notice that.

I’ve heard way too many horror stories about run-ins with Malleus fans from my friends (though like Anon said, not ALL Malleus fans are like this, just a loud minority of them). I’ve also had my own unpleasant experience being anonymously harassed for over a year just for expressing the reasons why I don’t like him. All you need say is “I don’t like him”, and it tends to summon a few very strongly opinionated fans to defend him, to argue with you, or to insult your intelligence. They are also quick to defend any potentially morally grey action he takes, often dismissing it by redirecting blame or pointing to a sad aspect of his backstory to excuse him. It feels there’s a social pressure to like him or to protect him, even if it’s not always overtly stated.

I’m not exactly sure why this is seemingly a recurring issue when it comes to him specifically, though I’ve certainly speculated on the matter. I don’t think they realize that them acting this way only exacerbates things. People are not going to consider liking Malleus (or, if they do like him, they may feel ashamed of it) because of these extreme fans.

Then there’s the other side, the Malleus haters. I’m not sure what started this collective, but it feels like they may have formed as a countermeasure or in response to the intense Malleus lovers?? But this other extreme isn’t a great alternative. The language they use can also be needlessly hostile towards him, and there are some who seem to attribute every bad thing that happens to Malleus even when he genuinely had no hand in it. It can get very uncomfortable to read some of the vile things said over a fictional character.

And then I think the Malleus haters end up making the Malleus lovers feel like they/their boy is being attacked… so they retaliate… and it perpetuates a vicious back-and-forth. You end up being caught in-between the two and getting stressed out over it. One notable example is the debate on who is "responsible" for the dreams. It can’t be easy being caught in those crossfires 😔

Malleus has become a pretty popular character in JP recently (like, the latter half of book 7), but not to the same heights as what we see in EN (he’s not consistently placing #1 like he is in EN, more like 7ish in JP now?). However, I haven’t seen anything nasty from the Malleus fans over there. That’s probably because JP fandom is much stricter with fandom etiquette and don’t exert their own opinions on fans who disagree with them; they see something they don’t like? They just ignore it or block and move on. I really with EN fans could take a page out of JP fans’ books; the fandom would be a lot more peaceful that way.

I’m sure there are fans that take these extremes for every character (I have encountered something in this vein for Twst characters from every other dorm). They’re just less frequently seen because there are fewer fans of them compared to the sheer number of fans for Malleus.

I really sympathize with you 💦💦 It feels stressful to say you don’t like Malleus, and it also feels stressful to say you do like Malleus. There’s always that fear of Malleus lovers coming for the former, and Malleus haters coming for the latter. No happy medium…

[ilikekidsshows]

You know, I think Felix would be a lot more interesting if he was a sentimonster (and the only sentimonster in the cast) who was based on Adrien. It made his actions against Adrien in his introduction make more sense, since he would have resentment towards Adrien due to finding out that he’s essentially a copy of Adrien but with his autonomy and even life able to potentially stripped away at any moment. Plus he could be a character who is against hawk moth for self interested reasons.

---

I think I said at some point that I considered Félix being a Sentimonster more palatable than Adrien. At time I said it was because he’s a side character, so the existential horror of what he is wouldn’t be as in your face, but you’re absolutely correct that his role in the story can be enhanced by him being a Sentimonster, and his being a Sentimonster could be given more meaning due to his role in the story.

A resentful clone who’s unsure of how much freedom of choice they have is actually a pretty common superhero trope, and actually creates a lot of audience sympathy for these characters regardless of how morally good or villainous they are. Galatea and the Ultimen in Justice League Unlimited are tragic and make Cadmus look like absolute monsters for what they did to them. The Clone Saga from the Spider-Man comics is only poorly remembered because of how stretched out it got, lasting for two years of not only monthly mainline comics, but multiple tie-ins, spin-offs and additional one-shot stories. And the Clone Saga got so bloated because Marvel wanted to milk it because the initial story was very beloved and well-regarded and it sold like hotcakes.

The Miraculous writers have already shown us that they’re only willing to truly discuss any aspect of what it means to be a sapient Sentimonster through Félix, so Félix being the only sapient Sentimonster and therefore getting to carry the entire sapient Sentimonster plot alone could have made the ideas presented far more focused, concise and clear. It would even make Félix’s new “tortured bad boy” characterization more believable if he really had suffered through a uniquely horrible experience and was lashing out because of it, which would make me far more sympathetic towards everything he pulls.

Turning Adrien from a fellow victim under the actually worse circumstances into the representation of what Félix has suffered for (to be made into the “perfect son”) would make me sympathize with Félix instead of me hating him so much. In that case, he wouldn’t be victim-blaming someone in a worse situation than he is. Like, yes, he’d still be victim-blaming Adrien, but it would be far more understandable coming from someone in an even worse situation. It would actually serve to showcase how harmful abuse and manipulation are when they are parallelled with literal magical mind control, because Félix was compelled to obey his abuser through magic, so, to him, Adrien’s situation looks like he’s "letting" himself be controlled, but they're actually in very similar situations.

Of course, the writers would even fuck this up by most likely agreeing with Félix that being manipulated and abused into following Gabriel’s orders is Adrien’s own fault. After all, they managed to blame Adrien for being magically mind-controlled into it too. If only Miraculous had good writers and morals…

[pitviperofdoom]

Hello pit! I've been thinking about getting into tma lately, however I'm unsure how to go about it? I'm kind of a wimp when it comes to horror, and I don't have a lot of time on my hands (cuz med school). I also know that someone has uploaded all the seasons without the statements and just has the parts related to the main story, which would be faster and would cut out a lot of the horror stuff, but I also feel that listening to that would be,,, idk disingenuous? Disrespectful? To all the work rusty quill put in for the full thing and how they wanted to present it

I mean it's less that it would be disingenuous or disrespectful and more that if you don't listen to the statements you might not know what's going on.

Disclaimer, I haven't listened to the cut you mentioned so I don't know exactly how much they leave out, but-

The reason why TMA works so well within its medium and format is that vital story and worldbuilding elements are introduced through the statements long before they appear in the diagetic action. The "main story" will bring in characters that have long been established and built up through appearing and being mentioned in the statements, and because of that their presence and importance don't need to be explained in the dialogue and action, so they aren't. And a lot of times the dialogue and action are in direct response to what was just narrated in the statement; this is especially true at the end of Season 2, when the information revealed in several statements directly prompts Jon's actions in the finale. Several episodes throughout the series are major characters giving live statements to explain their backstories and motivations and/or further the plot; Martin's statement in Colony is the main story. And that's not even getting into Season 5, when the line between statement and main story gets blurred even more.

As a fellow horror wimp I definitely sympathize. Lost Johns Cave, A Guest for Mister Spider, and Tucked in were some of the worst ones for me, and A Sturdy Lock was one of the only ones I had to skip ahead. Personally horror podcasts are a lot easier on me than horror movies, so the horror was manageable enough that it was worth gritting my teeth once in a while for the sake of a really good story. Plus, TMA explores a lot of different types and flavors of horror, so some episodes may not even hit your particular pressure points. I don't know your limits so really only you can decide that.

And as for time, I've never been to medical school (good on you!) so I can't really give solid advice, but the beauty of podcasts is that you don't really need to set aside time for it, you can listen to it in the car or on the train or while wandering around the grocery store. Again, you know your schedule better than me.

At the end of the day it's up to you. The main story bits of TMA are fun and exciting, and definitely not all of the statements are plot-vital. I guess, don't worry about being disingenuous or disrespectful--it doesn't make a lick of difference to Jonny Sims and Alex J. Newall how you choose to interact with their story. You get to have the experience you want with this; just know that there's no real clear-cut separation between statements and "main story"; TMA is a conversation between the two.

[random-thought-depository]

Re: my last post about HDG: also I think if I were writing something in HDG I'd want to make the Affini feel more like actual aliens.

Affini would logically have a very different somatic experience than us. So much of human experience is shaped by the fragility of our bodies. Affini are mostly made of easily replaceable vines and hard wood, they can fully regenerate from even very severe injuries as long as their core is intact, and they don't experience degenerative aging. They would probably have little instinctive fear of penetrating injuries (wounds) or blunt force trauma, because those things wouldn't have been major threats to them in their ancestral environment, and they would probably experience little physical pain from even quite severe injuries, because basically anything that doesn't harm their core is just a temporary inconvenience to them. Also, Affini reproduce by pollination so they probably wouldn't have any instinctive fear of or horror at sexual violation.

On the other hand, I think they might be just vulnerable enough to have enough empathy for us to take a look at non-utopian conditions of human life and go "AAAAAAAA!!!"

I think for a species like that when a death did happen it'd hit hard. They'd probably be even more K-selected than us. A typical death in a species like that would mean the loss of a living library of centuries or millennia of accumulated knowledge. Every death would feel the way the death of a 16 year old in a car crash feels to us, the foreclosure of vast possibility. I think very plausibly there would be very old Affini who were alive during and remember their Stone Age and still remember and mourn friends they had back then who died before they could have cool experiences like getting to understand the true nature of the stars and getting to walk on other planets and getting to meet intelligent aliens.

A species like that wouldn't fear penetrating injuries or blunt force trauma much, but they would have reason to fear fire, and various molds, fungi, etc. that might infect and rot them, and deprivation. Chronic inadequate nutrition and chronic exposure to stressful environmental conditions would be some of the biggest threats to a species like that in their ancestral environment, and hence would logically be some of their biggest primal fears. So I think Affini might empathize and sympathize very easily and acutely with a human suffering from a calorically adequate but poorly nourishing and unappetizing diet, poor housing, etc., cause that'd be one of the human experiences most similar to one of their biggest primal fears! Similarly, Affini would probably be a lot more intuitively scared of low-intensity chronic health problems and stressors than us, cause for them a problem that might kill them in 200 years would be one of the primary threats to them (for a human it wouldn't be worth worrying about cause something else is going to kill them long before that anyway). So I think Affini biases would kind of be the opposite of ours in this way: they'd empathize with low-intensity chronic pain more easily and intensely than they'd empathize with acute pain.

I think if you take seriously the idea that Affini imperialism and slavery is qualitatively psychologically different from human imperialism and slavery because the Affini version isn't motivated by selfishness or in-group preference (I would be willing to run with this idea, I think the problems with imperialism and slavery wouldn't all go away if the imperialists and slavers are nice), it suggests that a lot of human social emotions would be alien to them and empathizing with us and modelling how we think wouldn't be easy for them. A species like that would probably have to have much less intra-species competition in their evolutionary history than we have in ours. A lot of human social emotions are adapted for a social environment with intra-species competition (e.g. to detect, resent, and resist exploitation) and might be very unintuitive to a species that wasn't shaped by intra-species competition (a lot of autistic/neurotypical miscommunications seem like autistics often not getting status emotions, so that might be something to look at for IRL precedents for how such a species might find interacting with humans difficult).

I think all this might explain a lot about how Affini act toward humans. Especially, I think human status emotions being unintuitive (possibly counterintuitive) to Affini might explain a lot about why they talk to us in ways that realistically would be a huge unforced propaganda/PR disaster for them.

One contrarian take I have on HDG is I think it'd make more sense if the Affini didn't understand human psychology well at all at the beginning of the war, and relatedly it'd make more sense if you scaled back the size and age of the Compact a lot so contact with humanity was a third or fourth contact for the Affini and they aren't very used to dealing with sapient aliens.

Some general notes:

I definitely favor the idea that Affini don't naturally look like the cute monster girl version of an Ent, the ones who regularly deal with humans often deliberately shape themselves to look like that by strategically pruning and carving themselves (similar to how human gardeners make cubical bushes and the like) to be more relatable to us, their natural form looks kind of like if you tried to make a shoggoth out of a willow tree and if you went to an Affini core world most people there would look like that.

Also, I think it'd make a lot of sense if ancestral environment Affini moved around a lot less than modern ones, and the modern Affini high-mobility lifestyle is a product of them unnaturally super-charging their metabolisms by consuming artificial sugars and/or spending significant amounts of time under artificial high-intensity grow-lights. There's a reason plants are sessile; sunlight is an abundant but relatively low-intensity energy source.

If the floret thing is derived from Affini relationships with symbiotic pollinators on their homeworld, I think it'd make sense for them to be very into hooking their florets up with other florets and Affini for polyamory. As somebody who'd love to have a partner who actively helps me hook up with other partners, I think there may be some wish-fulfillment potential being slept on here!

Another fluffy thought is I think Affini might often express intimacy with florets by letting them carve writing, art, etc. onto them, like carving messages onto the bark of a tree.

[holdy-caulfield]

My review on Star Trek book.

Dreams of The Raven by Carmen Carter

Genre: Sci-fi, drama, psychological, thriller elements

Pages: 255

Key words: amnesia, physical traumas, self-identity, character study, medicine, friendship, body horror, angst

TW: gore

Highlights: plot, mystery, atmosphere, very canonical characters, accuracy, dialogue, depth, drama, villains

Downsides: lack of some details, the reason of amnesia (far-fetched), McCoy being useless without 25 years of experience (exaggerated)

Vibe/tone: dark, serious, realistic

First, huge thank you to @very-bad-poetry-captain for their book review, because the amount of ST TOS books is a bit overwhelming so I follow mostly recommendations/reviews to choose what to read next. I will probably compare this book to Doctor’s Orders by Diane Duane, because it’s only a second ST book I read and both books are about Doctor McCoy, who’s my favorite character, so my excuses if you find it a weird comparison. Minor spoilers.

To put it shortly it’s probably one of the best ST TOS things I’ve read so far if I count fanfics. It is very good. Probably I will change my opinion ‘cause actually I have nothing to compare it with, but after reading it I felt pity it was finished and did not know what to do with my life for a few moments. You know that feeling if you a reader.

The story follows two plotlines: McCoy suffers amnesia (big amount of stress + alcohol + exhaustion + head trauma) and forgets everything that has happened for the past 25 years, so in his head he’s 23, and also a few ships Enterprise included were attacked by mysterious (and horrifying) aliens, so there’s Kirk & Spock dealing with those two problems.

First and foremost, the characters. They are very canon. And even more canon then in Doctor’s Orders. Spock and McCoy behave exactly like in the show, their relationships are ambiguous and not bubblegummy, as it shouldn’t be. It’s very much what you see in TOS.

And Kirk & Spock. One of the things I didn’t like about DO was that Spock got kinda lost in the background and it either was McCoy with Kirk or Spock and McCoy. Here Kirk & Spock have all these small details about them going on, like Kirk understanding Spock, caring about his feelings, Spock touching Kirk and very domestic scene of Kirk taking a shower while discussing with Spock matter of things while Spock is thinking about the next move of 3D chess. It was just very… Cute. Very TOS-y. Very t’hy’la. You can feel they are so at ease with each other.

Kirk & Bones dynamic is also amazing. Kirk experiences a lot of angst with the loss of his friend, there are a few cute moments between them when Bones is Bones (because Bones McCoy and Leonard McCoy felt like two different people to the characters). Kirk is just so in character, even the small details of him hitting the turbolift doors out of frustration (he does it a lot in TOS), his endless questions, his battle tactics.

There’s also I have to admit enough presence of Scotty & Uhura, they both have good amount of scenes (separately), Uhura is just such a vibe and mood there as well. Also there’s a few scenes with Sulu and Chekov. Nobody was forgotten, everyone had their moment.

And then, let’s discuss Bones.

He is 25 years younger in his head, so he is slightly out of character obviously, but it’s just so realistic, recognizable, that I believed wholeheartedly that it is exactly how Roddenberry would direct/write him being 23 y/o. I can’t name it OOC even. Well, he acts like a 23 year old. He is a drama queen even when he’s older, so you can imagine how dramatic he acts thinking he’s younger (complaining also all the time that he’s old, like, boy, you’re 48) it all just feels very natural.

All the interactions and dialogue feel very natural, I must say, and I often noticed that in TOS too. So the author did an incredible job making such an accurate, emphatic and believable portrayal of my favourite character.

And I felt very sorry for McCoy. I sympathized with him completely. I actually felt a little bit sad when he regained his memory, but it is also thanks to the writer. The way it is worded is beautiful and bittersweet.

About an elephant in the room - romance. Well, I actually liked and understood it. At first, have you seen Bones? Second, those two are both in their 20s technically speaking, well, I understood she is (and if she was hitting her 30s because I am not sure about her being in her 20s, still point stands) so it was natural, the chemistry was there. Third, characters are allowed to act stupid, and Dyson acted stupid and she fully knew she was acting stupid, but she just wanted to have sex with him for a long time, so I understand and wish it was me. So it didn’t bother me at all and I actually awaited them to kiss. It is a flink, obviously, and Dyson knew that. So even if she’s heartbroken she should be fine, I think, plus she did act like she was half-expecting to not continue it with him. I hope though Bones never finds that out. So it is a good believably written part in my very humble and probably unpopular opinion. Good for her even.

The plot and the atmosphere. The plot, the mystery is amazing. It doesn’t let you put the book down. Also, the atmosphere of the book… Well, it is grim. Because the whole situation is not very fun. And also it has gore. Even though @very-bad-poetry-captain did mention the gore I didn’t expect it in so much detail, and at one point I was reading with such expression: o_O (I low key love horror, so it didn’t bother me). And then the aliens themselves… They are terrifying. They stepped out of some sci fi horror, and the author doesn’t hesitate mentioning dark details and I LOVED it about the book. I like when the villains are actually scary. I don’t wish those monstrosities to exist. There’s literally body horror elements in this book, and it’s one of my fave horror sub genres for some reason, so it’s also a positive point. TOS also has some very dark stuff going on, and the serious, darker tone suits it very well especially in the book form. The style of the author is nice. It’s straight to the point.

So it does feel like TOS but the sadder/darker episodes. And I liked that the book doesn’t feel short. It has a lot going on both plotlines are equally interesting. I wouldn’t mind book being even longer actually. Even more details. So if you enjoy a good mystery I recommend it.

Well, I guess I also have to point out some downsides. Well, the dreams in the title. Why dreams? No, literally, why? If it was like living in a dream then yeah, McCoy kinda lives in a dream, but what Ravens have to do with that? Book mentions nightmares, but give me those nightmares. Nightmares although are a cliche they work for showing character’s fears, doubts. So it felt like some portion was cut out. Because nightmares are mentioned a few times. Well, you could argue that the nightmares are because of the trauma. I guess. For me also the reasons of amnesia felt a bit far fetched. I would personally add some near-death experience of Kirk, to add to the stress or Bones seeing Raven do its thing (won’t spoiler it), just to make it really horrifying for him. He also is called “doctor” when he’s thinking he’s 23, so it means he would be able to still… Be a doctor. And he acts as if he’s in the second year of med school. Which according to the medical doctor isn’t realistic. Also, the ending feels a bit rushed. I wanted a bit more disorienting from returned McCoy. And some hello from Spock, maybe a surprise for Bones on why Spock is acting extra enthusiastic or friendly or smh like that. But on the other hand I didn’t feel like the book lacks something. It was actually more than I expected.

Hugely recommend, also wish the writer wrote more TOS books :(

And I also want to read more darker/serious TOS books like this :)

[mspaintbrush]

Mauga thoughts

He is a biter

He WILL bite you if you hold him down

The only one who can really keep Mauga under control after Baptiste left Talon is Doomfist

Doomfist uses violence for that (of course) (he has been bit while holding him down) (uses his gauntlet hand around Maugas head now)

Mauga refuses to let Moira experiment on him (even though she'd love to), my boy has had enough of unpermitted alterations to his body, even though he liked the changes the first time

He really doesnt get along with Reaper

Reaper is very bitter/serious/stern about the fights and Talon's mission, completely opposite of Mauga who sees it as a game and a fun way to spend his time

Reaper tells Mauga regularily that this isnt a game and that he should stop playing with dying men

Mauga is not impressed by any of reapers threats, he finds them amusing at best

#1 reaper bully, walks through him on purpose on a daily basis just cause he likes the feeling of the smoke on his skin

Sombra sympathizer

There are not many other fun people to spend time with at Talon anyways

Sombra is weary of him and pretty quickly saw through his happy and laid-back mask when she watched him in battle

But she also doesnt have many optional conversation partners at the base, so they hang out and bully Reaper together

Sombra is fascinated with how he gets his hair so nice and fluffy (the secret is the blood of your enemies)

Pranks him sometimes by putting sticky notes on his back that he cant reach because he is too buff

He can play Ukulele or at least owns one (canon)

It used to belong to Baptiste

Mauga took it from his things after he left Talon, its his only reminder of their time together

Sometimes Mauga just holds it and plays a few notes when he is reminiscing

Together with his guns one of the only things he hates people touching

Could work really well with Lucio if he wanted to

Maybe I'm writing Lucio a bit very naive here but I feel like he could be fooled by Mauga's personality (and Mauga would take full advantage of that)

Like he would bring this dude to the base á la "hey guys meet my new friend he plays ukulele and is really fun" with Mauga just grinning as everyone stares in horror

Baptiste used Mauga as a couch during their Talon times (illegal murder operations dont really provide comfortable resting places, so you make due)

Both miss it, both have no one close enough to replicate the feeling (which doesnt mean they dont try)

Mauga leans his guns on his side or the ukulele on his chest, but since everyone has enough common sense to not go anywhere near him thats all he can do

I think it would be funny if during a mission brief a very tired Sigma leans onto him (he doesnt have this famous common sense to really notice the danger radiating off Mauga) and everyone holds their breath as it happens. Against all odds Mauga doesnt say anything as he quietly enjoys it. Its not a common occurence, much to Mauga's disappointment.

Baptiste sits on the side of the couch, owns a very big pillow and the tendency to lean onto people if he gets very tired (since most people arent a 6 foot mountain of muscle  though, they dont really have the necessary strength to hold him)

Some eventually catch on and subliminally try to persuade Reinhardt to sit next to Baptiste more often. Maybe Reinhardt notices it too, but definitely not as the first lets be honest. (Reinhardt is the general couch for everyone in Overwatch who wants to, i dont make the rules)

Mauga's body needs a LOT of nutrients and protein to keep up its shape, more so with him working out on the side, so this man is constantly eating

This guy is a foodie, gets really gnarly when he's hungry and even more ruthless and unpredictable

Fish is a main food in Samoa, but since Mauga has a strong connection to the ocean and the ecosystem behind it I dont think he would eat any fish he didnt catch himself. And he doesnt trust Talon enough to verify where the fish came from. So no fish for him right now.

Is a sweettooth, there a lot of sweet samoan dishes featuring coconut milk and fresh fruit from the island

He probably often complains about the cheap quality of the fruits Talon have to offer him. They get picked too early before truly ripe or just dont seem to have the same intense flavor as an island grown fruit would have.

Can and will crack a coconut easily by hand. Or rather by teeth.

(I wonder if that is humanly possible)

(I looked it up. You need around 610N to crack open a coconut. Humans can bite with about 1000-1400N. So its possible. Crazy.)

Being used to warm and tropical weather he struggles with any mission too far up north. He has to wear more clothing during those, limiting his mobility and effectiveness.

Probably has a hard time finding fitting clothes in general, Talon has a special seamstress just for this case. (And for Doom and Sigma too probably, they are huge)

Is a very well educated man and still keeps up with recent studies and research, especially revolving around marine biology.

He doesnt show this side of him in public, only reading when he is alone in his room.

Sigma is able to gain access to whatever books and publications he wants, nobody really double checks because they dont care or wouldnt understand anyway. So Mauga puts his desired books on Sigma's list and takes them from his lab once they arrive.

Sombra picks up on this eventually, since she spends a lot of time with Sigma. What will she do with this information? Who knows.

Sigma isnt aware of this but does wonder why there are books about non-physics topics around. Sometimes he looks at the colourful reef pictures.

Scuba Sigma - the origin story

favourite animal: shork

He knows how vital they are for marine life and relates to them.

They look and are told to be extremely aggressive, but arent. They still are incredibly powerful and efficient killing machines though. There is a nice metaphor compared to himself here. Somewhere.

Corrects anyone badmouthing sharks and doesnt care if that feels "out of character" to bystanders

Always wanted to learn how to surf but is lacking balance and a normal body size. And since being in Talon, time. And water. Everything really, but he thinks about it sometimes.

Good swimmer, his body shape is not super helpful but he makes up for it with great strength and form

Loves to dive, not necessarily in whole gear, but he can hold his breath longer than average

Generally just enjoys being in water

Knows how to catch fish (of course)

Usually you'd catch fish with a traditional net or maybe hook and rod, but Mauga knows how to spearfish and sometimes does it to show off

If there are no current missions he helps out carrying cargo and other equipment around Talon quarters. Its something of a practical workout for him.

Not a drinker. One or two bottles of beer at most. He wants to be in full control and aware of his sorroundings at all times.

He does pretend to be more intoxicated to provoke bystanders to let their guard down.

If he truly gets wasted he is the silent type. The "stares at you uncomfortably from a corner"-type. His extroverted and noisy facade disappears, revealing the cunning and sadistic spirit inside.

[punch-love]

I have a comment that I was idk I was not really inclined to share. But it’s been on my mind. Your last chap really fucked me up in the sense that it was super triggering to see Peter deal w so much inner turmoil. And I don’t really get triggered very often and I haven’t ever dealt w that much turmoil and I just was feeling overwhelmed by his thoughts and that they were super unhealthy… which I’m sure u know his thoughts were unhealthy because you are creating characters who don’t deal w things in the healthiest way and Peter and wades whole relationship is supposed to show how unhealthy they are but like it was also hard knowing people are mentally struggling that much daily and I couldn’t live within that head space for just the few minutes it took me to read the chap. And idk I was super reluctant to share this comment because I only really post positive praising ones and not that it’s not praise because you were able to make me feel peters thoughts just by your writing but idk it was still kinda hard to read. I’m sorry I hope this doesn’t offend it’s the last thing I’m trying to do

It was my intention for it to be hard to read. I want my work to be difficult to both read and process, because it's important to me that the characters I write about have brains that are genuinely not always pleasant to be inside. I think sometimes people write (and read) about characters as a means of escaping the horrors of the human experience, but personally: I write to highlight and sympathize with the horrors.

I don't write to trigger people, however. I will add a trigger warning to that chapter! It's people's choice to read my work, but I can see how you weren't given enough context pre-chapter to really understand what you were getting into with Peter's perspective. I took a long time writing this chapter, in part, because it wasn't really a fun one - just difficult. I'm going to always write works that have the potential to trigger people, that's just how I exist as a writer. I will take responsibility in being more intentional in preparing my audience for that though!

Also, I don't dislike this comment at all, if anything, it communicates that my writing does exactly what I want it to do - not that I want it to trigger you - but I do want people to have strong reactions to my work. I don't consider this negative feedback at all! You also mentioned struggling with processing, how people struggle with that type of mental process daily. I write a lot from my own experience. I have a very difficult brain, and writing is often the only way I can get people to understand the interior of it. It's absolutely not a fun way to live! I don't blame anyone for not wanting to sit with that.

To me, writing is a way that I can spread my own discomfort into something I can sympathize with/perceive outside myself. I also just really like writing about difficult and human people. I'm not offended that it's not everyone's cup of tea, and sometimes that difficult humanity actually has the capacity to be triggering. I am open to any and all comments of how people connect to my work: the good, and the bad.

[vonclosen]

Canis/DT (Dead Thing)

25+

18+ only. I am an adult and sometimes I talk about mature themes. Minors - I’m not your dad and you can do what you want online, but know that I’ll probably soft block you.

Indigenous (Cheyenne River Lakota). IndigiQueer Intersex Dyke. Disabled. Artist and Academic (Native American Studies and Anthropology). I’m not picky about pronouns.

I like history, horror, dark sci-fi/fantasy and making OCs. I yap a lot but I'm also a very private person.

I talk a lot about Indigenous rights here, and am pro community education and open good-faith dialogue. Education is fun! 🌟

From River to Sea 🍉 & LandBack 🪶

For those seeking donations: I cannot offer financial help at this time, as I am very poor.

I tag most common triggers upon direct request; DM or send an ask.

OP of BODE, feel free to ask about it; icon by andromeddog

commission info under the cut

☆ ☆ ☆

You may also know me as:

mnikhowozu

deathmental

frumentariae

dentalcaring

I am a creative and enjoy fostering a sense of community in fan spaces! Please feel free to DM me or send asks. Community engagement is fun!

☆ ☆ ☆

Commission Info:

DM me here or on discord (@ gerardkeay) for inquiries!

☆ ☆ ☆

Some specific dni:

The usual baseline applies; I don’t want to be near people who associate with TERF, SWERF, or right-leaning ideologies. Additionally:

LGBTQ+ exclusionists (aphobes, panphobes, biphobes, truscum/transmedicalists etc.) or those promoting community infighting. We must unify and strive for intersectionality!

If you enjoy or support Twilight or Harry Potter. (I do not care how critically you do so; These are both fundamentally colonial projects that cause real tangible harm to real communities that I am a part of).

If you like cottagecore in any capacity. See why

Zionists and/or IDF & Israel sympathizers

MAPs or sympathizers, pro-consang, zoophiles. I will block you if you reblog or make art of minors in sexual situations.

I block liberally, usually it isn’t personal. I like to curate my online experience carefully :]

☆ ☆ ☆

Art usage rights:

You may use my art as icons/headers/sidebars provided that you clearly and directly show credit and are not in violation of the above DNI criteria. You may not use my art in any capacity, including commissioned work, if I have blocked you, or you have blocked me.

☆ ☆ ☆

[raayllum]

I'm torn with Claudia. The humane part of me wants her to stop walking her dark path before she destroys herself completely and find some measure of peace. The fucked-up part of me wants to watch her to lose it and go on the warpath and cause lots of chaos. Is that last one wrong to hope for?

Not at all! I do think we'll see her warpath arc next season, since as Ezran stated/foreshadowed

We all want peace and we all want love. But violence tests us. In a twisted way, it converts us to its cause. Because pain and loss feel so terrible inside, you want to hate. You want to hurt someone else.

Given that Rayla cut off her leg and the trio cost her the chance to save her father's life (since if/when Viren survives, I don't think Claudia will know for a while), I think she'll start chasing Revenge. (Which may lead to even more fracturing with Terry, as "I always believed in you because you had a reason" but we shall see...) And then maybe Soren and Viren will work together to try and bring her home, but maybe only in s7 - so who knows?

But yeah, I don't think ever wanting characters to go through "negative character development" or "fail" means we don't like them or don't understand/sympathize with them. Too often, I think, fandoms can have a tendency to moralize, well, everything, but in this case the choices writers make regarding their favourite characters, i.e. "This Bad Thing happened to Character A so therefore the writers hate them / are punishing them."

And don't get me wrong, I've definitely seen shows where a writing team just did not know what to do with a character, so they just heaped tons of pain on them and/or under utilized them, and who is shown on screen with discussed/processed trauma vs who isn't is definitely a discussion worth having, because none of that exists in an apolitical or aracial space.

However... by no means is the "punishing" angle what's happening all the time, either. What I think it comes from is like, some base assumptions and also a lack of literary understanding for some key aspects I'm gonna do my best at articulating clearly:

1) Operating under an assumption that if you like a character you should only want 'good' things for them, and for them to be a 'good' person, because you are also a 'good' person. This doesn't seem super moralized on the surface, but it explains a lot about "how could anyone like that villain" or offense to "how could anyone want that character to fail" and it's like, idk how to explain that failure and therefore conflict and tragic figures are Just Interesting, Brenda, even if they aren't your personal cup of tea. (I say, as a diehard Macbeth and literary Judas enjoyer lmao.)

2) Ignores catharsis and tragedy as elements of storytelling / as its own desirable genre. Sometimes, you want to watch a thing where you know the whole time everything is going to go horribly wrong for certain characters, or all the characters, and that's what's fun about it. The desirable outcome for every story or character is not a happy ending, nor are all characters or stories built for a happy ending, either. It can be upsetting, of course, when a character we like doesn't get the (happy) ending we hoped for, but that isn't necessarily always the same as a bad ending, y'know? Substantially bad things happening to a character doesn't always mean a narrative hates them; a focus on them is still a focus.

All of this to say: I don't think it's wrong at all to want, or be interested in, Terrible Things happening to a character. It's a thought experiment like any other, and pushing characters to their limits, revealing how they respond under intense or painful experiences - whether than pain is physical, emotional, or something else entirely - is fun and interesting. There's a reason there's are entire genres for Horror and Drama and tearjerker films after all.

Like I've been waiting and wanting for Claudia to snap and become a fully fledged villain since S2 because it was very clear to me just how much she was already Skewed in S1 and S2 made it clear to me that, unlike her brother, she would not be getting on a better path any time soon. Sometimes mess and hurt and mistakes is more interesting than healing, and sometimes it's the opposite (and those things aren't mutually exclusive either).

Like going into S6, I want everyone to Fail so badly (except, arguably, Claudia - who still isn't going to be getting what she actually Needs - and Aaravos, who's going to get exactly what he wants). Watching how characters and their relationships can fall apart, how their own consistent flaws and patterns, can lead them to make awful but understandable mistakes? That's my shit. And getting to see how they do, or don't, come back from that in the season, and in season 7? Chomping at the bit, I'm so excited.

I also don't think that hoping for another end, though, is worse than being excited for a tragic end, because while tragedies are about sadness, they are also - at their core - about Hope that maybe it won't end badly this time. If a tragedy cannot provide catharsis to a viewer, for some reason, then they are still fulfilling their purpose in nurturing hope and indignation in the face of perceived unfairness - that a character could try so hard and still be doomed; that we ourselves often take on tasks that feel insurmountable, that we can take on what looks like a losing battle and still, somehow, win. And maybe we don't - maybe they don't. But tragedies, if nothing else, teach us resilience and the merit of telling a story when you already know how it ends, and the skill of it lies therefore entirely in the execution (sometimes literally).

Basically: hope for whatever you want for whatever character you want, even, or especially, when it's 'bad'. It's what we've always done for a reason.

[lord-squiggletits]

I need to reread the comics again to have specific arguments/evidence for this, but like

I feel a bit like I could've been sympathetic to the way other Cybertronian colonies view Cybertron, if it weren't for the fact that at least several of them (as in, ones that get notable dialogue/screen time) are so low-key self-righteous?

Like, idk... there's a lot of criticism of Cybertronians because they're so "warlike" and how their obsession with violence and vengeance is just dragging the whole galaxy down with them, but uh. The Autobot-Decepticon war was basically a product of societal ills bubbling over for like 6 million years beforehand and then finally boiling over into a 4 million year war that lasted as long as it did because the people involved had immense social/psychological trauma from being "raised" in an oppressive society.

So when the colonists come in being all 'omg you people are so violent and uncivilized why don't you just like, stop fighting' it kind of pissed me off a little bit as a reader/person like. Idk the colonists really came into this society of people full of massive amounts of trauma where even before the war society was super oppressive and no one has any experience of living "normal" lives unaffected by violence and bigotry. And the colonists were like "ummm wow why don't you guys just??? stop fighting???." Like idk it wasn't EVERY SINGLE MOMENT, in fact I think that when it was played for laughs it's quite a funny "fridge horror" type element. It was just annoying because like.... IDK???? It's just really annoying to watch a bunch of people who lived relatively sheltered lives on their own planets come to a different planet full of traumatized people and be like "omg why are you people so fucked up" IDK BRO MAYBE BECAUSE THEIR SOCIETY WAS OPPRESSIVE AND THEY LIVED THROUGH A LIFELONG WAR???

It also doesn't help that the colonies were literally founded based on imperialism and conquest so like, it's fucking rich to hear colonists scolding Cybertronians for their violence ruining the whole galaxy while literally sitting on planets that their Primes colonized from others. The hypocrisy of this is briefly mentioned in Unicron (literally the FINAL STORY OF THE SERIES) but like, that's basically the only time Cybertronian characters are given a reprieve of sympathy from other characters in universe and it's so tiresome.

I've talked to other people who didn't like the colonists and thought they basically (narratively speaking) existed just to shit on the existing characters, and it's actually really easy for me to sympathize with/outright agree with that assessment of the story considering how much of exRID/OP seems to be preoccupied with "Cybertron/the Primes/Optimus sucks" with very few reprieves for anything positive happening and even fewer chances for characters to get to explain themselves and experience a little bit of justice? Like, as the audience, it's just very frustrating to see the characters you spent hundreds of issues keeping up with get shit on by a bunch of "literally-who"s and then not really get a chance to ever defend themselves, either by literally defending themselves in conversation or having some sort of narrative thing happening that vindicates them at least symbolically

[amalthea-writes]

Hello!!

🎨 Hello! I'm Amalthea, an up and coming author based in New Jersey. With a little over 15 years of experience in the world of creative writing, I (like a lot of other hobbyists) have always dreamt about getting a story of mine out into the world! My go-to writing genres are psychological horror, angst, and dark fantasy.

🌈 About Me

I'm a creative thinker, a problem solver, and an avid learner, always exploring new ideas and potential stories. I strive to create immersive worlds by either typing them or tattooing dead trees; and I also would love to get to know my potential readers!

I have this Tumblr blog to not only showcase my works, but to answer any questions about them as well! I’m a HUGE advocate for “learning as I go,” so feel free to ask me things about my current works in progress! Maybe you’re theories and whatnots will sneak their way into the final product!

💼 Experience

As stated, I’ve been writing for a good 15 years! Not sure what other things represent my “experience,” but… yea!

🎓 Education

I graduated high school, that’s something; right?

I wrote a ton of essays and helped my peers in the editing process of their own essays.

I also drafted out the plot for my main WIP; Nothing Feels Real while watching a documentary in my World Genocides class.

RMA (Registered Medical Assistant)

Graduated with honors

I actually very strongly dislike the medical field! I’m worked like I don’t have my own physical issues, and I’m expected to care for, and help people that are screaming at me for something that the doctor himself did not do. Then I get yelled at by the doctor for telling him that “hey, you need to do this.”

As I stated, I really don’t like my job.

What would I want to do instead of my current job?

Sell my art! I’ve been drawing for as long as I can remember, and I think I’m pretty dang good at it!

Write, as a part-time gig!! I say part time because my ADHD brain, I don’t think, would be good at writing for 8+ hours all day everyday… yet!

Overthrow the United States’ government!! I say this, and I mean it. My government is pretty much in shambles, and I know that I myself am very… persuasive in writing at least! I’ve been writing argumentative essays since the 5th grade. I’m sure I can think of ways and words to do that too.

Free Palestine!! No, in all seriousness; this is a hill that I will not only die on, but I will resurrect myself on the millisecond someone starts to complain about the olive oil prices being “too high,” or that citrus fruits are so hard to come by, or that fucking SOAP prices have sky rocketed—my list can and will continue on.

Free Luigi M. (I forgot how to spell his last name), and Briana Boston. In my eyes, they did nothing wrong. Luigi is innocent until truthfully proven otherwise, and Briana did what every white supremacist has been doing for the history of ever: she said something out of anger, and possibly a feeling of helplessness. No, I am not sympathizing with WS. Ew.

I’m just saying… it’s not like nobody has not been threatened before!

🚀 Projects

Nothing Feels Real

Is a story that is heavily inspired by different aspects of the Weirdcore aesthetic, Star Flesh aesthetic, and maybe the backrooms.

Currently, there are only two main characters, though I’m working on weaving in a third.

The story is written in third person limited, through whichever character is telling the story at the time.

SWING

A fun little side project for when the main one gets too much!

Still is in the horror-esque genre, but not as planned out as Nothing Feels Real

This one is written in third person omniscient! So that’s pretty fun.

📬 Contact

Let's create something amazing together! Reach out to me at:

Email: amalthea815@gmail.com

Or send me a message via Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/amalthea-writes

Thanks for stopping by my corner of the internet! 💫

[gyokutoll]

send me questions you have about my character!

Favorite animal? Favorite bunny breed?

Does the immortality help with the copious amounts of alcohol a host is expected to drink? How Is Hotarus Liver Doing.

3rd least favorite guest experience Hotaru has had to entertain.

send me questions about hotaru ; always accepting !

His favorite animal is a chinchilla! He likes rabbits, but not any more than any other animal. His association with rabbits is generally meta-commentary that is sometimes adopted by those he speaks with. Some people call him bunny, rabbit-like, but he doesn't understand this, really. But us, as the viewer, and perhaps the other muse, carry this tacit understanding that Hotaru is a prey animal. Saying this aloud, I almost wonder if this isn't voyeuristic horror, in a way--that all of us are privy to this knowledge as Hotaru as a victim, but he lacks this information himself, as most victims in horror do. They can't see the monster that we do. They do not have the wide camera angle highlighting a creeping shadow or a glinting knife. He doesn't know that he's the rabbit to be slaughtered, but we do, and maybe your muse does, too.

Anyways, entirely unrelated tangent aside, his favorite animal is a chinchilla purely due to the efforts of Susu for preserving his sanity. I think Hotaru loves all animals, but definitely feels more at ease and favors prey animals like chinchillas and other rodents, though rabbits aren't rodents, which makes his rodent preference even more ironic, in its own way.

As for his liver, it wasn't good before the immortality. He developed a good alcohol tolerance, as was necessary in his line of work, but the immortality helps. I'm not quite sure what his liver damage is looking like, but I feel like Hotaru does make lifestyle choices to offset some of the alcohol. His diet and exercise are likely fairly strict to mitigate some of what the alcohol does, but when he was younger and first had the curse, he was a lot more reckless with it because he understood that the curse wouldn't let him have tangible consequences.

Third least favorite guest experience.... I think Hotaru really dislikes salarymen. Especially those who haven't unpacked their sexuality and make weird comments, try to get handsy, don't abide by the rules. The most common customers for hosts tend to be hostesses due to a variety of factors including the usual loneliness but also the fact that a host can sympathize with their experiences.

I think... his third least favorites are salarymen, to reiterate (sorry, I love tangents). They're normally harmless, for the most part, but can be very creepy and hands on and not understand boundaries. A lot of them tend to be crying, pathetic drunks too who likely lament to Hotaru that they can't find the company of a willing man so have to pay like this. It gives him The Ick, but believe it or not, there are worse out there. So... not a favorite but not the most hated, either. You have to be patient to keep hosting for as long as he has and Hotaru has long since made peace with the fact that his work is going to put him in extensive contact with people he silently calls "pathetic freaks who should probably just give up and die already."

[maddie-grove]

2024 Reading Roundup: General Fiction

I've decided to write a roundup of all the books I read by genre last year (plus a separate post for rereads) before sharing my top twenty. These are the general fiction (not YA or romance) novels I read last year, in order of publication date:

The Night of the Hunter by Davis Grubb (1953): In the bleakest days of the Great Depression, the Reverend Harry Powell roams the poverty-ravaged Ohio River Valley, consumed by a twisted religious fervor. Following a lead from a condemned man, he courts young widow Willa Harper and charms an entire small town...except for Willa's ten-year-old son John, who fears him intensely and has guessed at his ulterior motives. This is a tense, beautifully written book, but honestly I think seeing the more-famous 1955 movie first spoiled it for me. The movie is very faithful to the book and has the added benefit of featuring gorgeous visuals and electrifying performances.

The Power of the Dog by Thomas Savage (1967): In 1920s Montana, awkward, gentle-natured rancher George Burbank marries delicate widow Rose Gordon. It's a fine match, but George's brother Phil, a complicated man who rarely bathes or holds back his cruel remarks, despises both Rose and her sensitive teenage son Peter. It turns out, though, that Peter is pretty complicated himself. This is also a book where I saw and liked the movie first, but this time I liked the story even more in novel form. I really enjoyed getting into the characters' heads, and the ending hits even harder when you read it.

The Siege of Trencher's Farm by Gordon Williams (1969): American professor George Magruder and his English wife Louise are living unhappily in a small Cornwall town, partly because their marriage is strained and partly because they don't fit in with the clannish locals. When the escape of a child murderer from a nearby prison coincides with a little girl disappearing from a Christmas party, the couple finds themselves dealing with much more immediate threats: home invasion and mob violence! Sam Peckinpah based his controversial movie Straw Dogs on this novel, but I've never seen Straw Dogs so that's not important right now. I have no idea how seriously I'm supposed to take the gender politics of this story--at different points, it feels like Williams is endorsing the subservience of women or mocking those who find that idea attractive--and honestly that ambiguity enhanced my experience. The exciting, gruesome action sequences were also excellent.

The Stepford Wives by Ira Levin (1972): Joanna Eberhart is ready for some culture shock when she moves from New York City to the suburban Stepford, Connecticut with her husband and children, but she's not prepared for single-mindedly devoted most of the women of Stepford are to their homes. She makes friends with women who still have their own hobbies and interests, but, as their ranks thin, she begins to suspect something more sinister than ordinary conformity. Based on its reputation, I was expecting the novel to be sharply written and offer insight into the backlash against second-wave feminism, but I wasn't expecting it to be so genuinely terrifying. It delivered on all counts.

The Woman in Black by Susan Hill (1983): Arthur Kipps, a young solicitor, travels to coastal northeastern England to settle the affairs of a remote estate, but finds himself trailed by a gaunt, black-clad figure with malevolent eyes. This gothic horror novel has some top-notch spooky shit going on (lots of fog, a house that's only reachable at low tide) and an absolutely devastating payoff.

The Sympathizer by Viet Thanh Nguyen (2015): An unnamed North Vietnamese spy in the South Vietnamese army moves to Los Angeles with his former general and many other refugees following the Fall of Saigon. With flexible morals, a broad mind, and a generous heart, he tries to balance his ideals and his personal desires. This book doesn't have a ton of momentum until the ending chapters, but it was vibrant and often very funny whenever I picked it up.

Slade House by David Mitchell (2015): From the 1970s to the 2010s, a mysterious house becomes the final resting place of several lost souls: a lonely young boy, a washed-up cop, an insecure college student, and others. I'm a sucker for stories about a house/monster/artifact/whatever that uses your deepest insecurities and desires to kill/consume you; it's such a great way to study a character. Unfortunately, like many stories of this type, the deal with the Scary Thing (in this case, the house and its inhabitants) is less interesting than the deal with its victims. It's so cheesy. It doesn't really detract from the rest of the story, though.

The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune (2020): In a world where magical beings exist and the government systematically oppresses them, middle-aged social worker Linus Baker is sent to investigate a remote orphanage for unusual children, run by the eccentric Arthur Parnassus. I should say upfront that this isn't really my kind of book; I have a limited capacity for magical-school/orphanage stories even when they're for kids, and the adult version interests me even less. It's a sweet novel, but it bashed me over the head with whimsy and drowned me in therapy-speak. I was exhausted by the end. Also, Klune sets up the government as this sinister, all-powerful force, but as an antagonist it feels less like Big Brother from 1984 and more like the douchey bosses from Office Space.

Embassy Wife by Katie Crouch (2021): After her husband announces that he's gotten a Fulbright grant to study genocide in Namibia, Silicon-Valley-based breadwinner Amanda agrees to move with him and their nine-year-old daughter Meg to Windhoek, where she soon finds herself at loose ends. Ambassador's wife Persephone, lively and frequently intoxicated, strikes up a friendship with her. Meanwhile, Meg becomes friends with the daughter of a Namibian minister, whose beautiful wife has a secret history with Amanda's husband. This novel is kind of an odd duck. The beginning foreshadows all kinds of danger and dark secrets, but it's ultimately a soapy beach read. It did keep me turning the pages, at any rate.

The Turnout by Megan Abbott (2021): Dara runs a ballet school, inherited from her mother, with her fragile sister Marie and her retiring husband Charlie. Just as Nutcracker season is beginning, their lives are disrupted, first by a fire in the attic and then by Derek, a crude, insinuating contractor hired to fix the damage. Derek has his eye on both the family's ramshackle Victorian house and their secrets, but the extent of the danger he presents is unclear. I liked this book well enough; however, it's not Abbott's best. The lurid reveal is lurid in a pretty predictable way.

Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan (2021): It's December 1985 in small-town Ireland, and Bill Furlong, despite a hard economy and a somewhat rough childhood, has managed to build a decent life with his wife and five daughters. An encounter with an abused teenage girl from the nearby Magdalene Laundry, however, has him questioning his values. Tender and contemplative, this deserves to be a new Christmas classic.

Tracy Flick Can't Win by Tom Perrotta (2022): The ambitious, lonely teenage heroine of Election is now a forty-something vice-principal at a suburban New Jersey high school, expecting to become principal once her boss retires. The school board has more ambitious ideas, though, and once again she finds herself competing with a less qualified but more popular man. Times have changed since the novel was published in 1998, so it's no surprise that the sequel is gentler towards Tracy than the original (which at least raises the possibility that Tracy's ambition presents some legitimate threat, even though I think it ultimately answers that question in the negative). This approach could feel toothless, but it doesn't, because Tracy has lived a whole life since the events of the first novel and come out mature yet totally recognizable. Perrotta's best decision is making her a competent, reasonable, compassionate person...who's still kind of a mess. It works really well.

The Vaster Wilds by Lauren Groff (2023): Circa 1610, a servant girl escapes from the starving, disease-ridden Jamestown Colony into the Virginian wilderness, where she struggles against man and nature to survive. I did not enjoy this book so much. The style was overwrought, the author didn't seem to know the difference between Anglicans and Calvinists, and the message about colonialism was muddled.

Old Crimes by Jill McCorkle (2024): In the opening story of this collection, Lynn, a first-generation college student in the nineties, notices the cracks in her relationship with her upper-middle-class boyfriend when they go to stay in a dubious inn. For him, it's a novelty that would shock his uptight family's sensibilities; for her, it's an uncomfortable reminder of a past she almost didn't even think of escaping. At her best, McCorkle is one of the finest short story writers ever, and this is one of her best collections that I've read. She packs so much meaning into stories that seem simple and gravitas into stories that are funny.

[a-thread-of-green]

Having seen the first episode, I think I know why the creators of the live action Avatar series made the changes that they did, and I don't think their intentions were entirely wrong, even if I hated watching it. The original series is an incredibly character-driven story; there is a fantastic and complex world, of course, but it mostly functions as an extension of the characterization of a dozen people or so. Take the genocide of the air nation, for example: we as an audience care about it because we care about Aang and we experience the loss through him alone. Moment-to-moment watching The Southern Air Temple, I don't think about the pain of the people who died, but rather the pain of Aang learning that they died. Or, for another example, it's a famous quibble that Aang shouldn't worry so much about the ethics of killing the Fire Lord in the finale when he hurt so many random enemies, some of whom probably died from their injuries. But the show isn't constructed to make you question this; the fight scenes focus on the named characters and their spectacular abilities, and the extras really only exist to show off those abilities. A lot of the best critiques of the original are rooted in this character-focus. Like, if we only think about the handful of main characters, Zuko becoming fire lord makes perfect sense, but can a teenager effectively govern a nation? Should the power structures that oppressed and colonized the rest of the world remain standing, even under leadership that will try to do better? These are great questions that the show simply wasn't built to answer.

Looking at all this, you could say that it's a bad idea to create a world so rife with horrors, many of them imported from the real world, and explore those horrors only through the perspective of a few people, all of whom are in some way silly or careless or selfish. I think that's what the creators of the live action show tried to do, because the world and its populations take center stage in this story. It starts with a random earth bender who dies before we get to know anything about him, and a few minutes later shows the genocide of the air nomads with a heavy focus on unnamed and unknown characters. It reminds me of Soviet montage theory: how cinema (and, by extension, television) is a medium biased towards individualism and, to make it collectivistic, you need to cut between different characters so often that the audience understands them all. It's an approach to art that I sympathize with on a political level, but I just don't think it works grafted onto this source material. The story is still built around a couple core characters, but those characters become dull and serious under the weight of a fully-acknowledged world.

I started watching Avatar when I was seven, and I've kept coming back to it for the past twenty years, so maybe I'm bound to nostalgia and can't really appreciate a reimagining of the original. And maybe this new, collectivist approach is powerful and meaningful to some people. I certainly don't begrudge the creators and actors, who I think came in with a lot of skill and the best of intentions. But watching the rest of this just isn't how I want to spend my time.

[our-epic-quest]

Becoming half-illithid in BG3 is so weird because, at least in my experience, it happens at the same time Shadowheart dyes her hair and so like, my character is going through some body-horror, what-am-i-becoming, illithid shit and the next morning all his friends can talk about is how great Shadowheart's hair looks. Except for Astarion, who basically called him a grotesque monster before sympathizing a bit; Halsin, who used his disappointed dad voice; Jaheira, who was probably the most sympathetic of the lot; and Lae'zel, who treated him with suspicion and disgust. Anyway, BG3 is going great lol.