#and im supposed to just be normal about that. cool
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god. play donut hole by hachi.
#leologisms#バイバイ���う永遠に会えないね//何故かそんな気がするんだそう思えてしまったんだ//上手く笑えないんだどうしようもないまんま#and im supposed to just be normal about that. cool
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more masquerade concept
#the cat witchs guild#the misc adventures of mochi and lime#tcwg#tmaomal#masquerade#beta#art#ocs#original#concept#cryptids#npcs#playing around with different hair kinds. i feel like i want to branch out with hair.#i want to have pokemon level character design#bonus points to whoever recognizes where this outfit was recycled from#i always think about this outfit because i used it once for something else and never again#needed to simplify her outfit i realized i would need to draw that shit over and over#she is a frequent customer of the springs due to back problems#if youre REALLY LUCKY as a witch you can somtimes use back pain spells in exchange for services but this is so extremely rare#dont ask how the sash holds it or how youre supposed to walk normally like that#im throwing the fantasy excuse and just acknowleding that that shit would hurty but it looks cool
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blocktales ponies i did blahlalala (runs in circles) i hope i did them justice..!!! + bonus demo 4 griefer under the cut
#art#blocktales#blocktales fanart#roblox#mlp#I FREAKING GUESS.#griefer blocktales#kyoko blocktales#calypso blocktales#accountant jim blocktales#kitchen wizard blocktales#blocktales oc#ok fine ill give him a proper tag#oc: bug blocktales#im not doing more tagging this is pain and torture#Anyway! i wasnt sure how i would go about giving calypso braids like i normally do so i just let her hair puff. yayya#i honestly think kitchen wizard looks better bald but im trying ok#uhh IM PARTICULARLY PROUD OF GRIEFER. i think he's some sort of bat or vampire fruit bat pony#he's an earth pony because. got idk. i guess i think it'd be fitting if he didnt? it adds to the disappointment#i would understand if u saw him with wings. have you seen that guys acrobatics#ALSO HIS CUTIEMARK. the vines are supposed to kinda look like lightning (cool) but also like. alluding to his fate. being ensnared by#the sword. Idk its not that deep im having fun#Bug's cutiemark alludes to him being “pinned” to his fate HEH winks at you#i think he's also a changeling. im not sure how he'd go about it but it's important to his feelings of isolation#ok ill shut up now (smiles) yay#i would like to do more in the future. if i want to anyway
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god its so cool and Important how. despite all the bright colors and flash fabrics and jewelry, all of the socs are really just carbon copies of each other. theyve all got the same base, just recolored like a character selection page on a cheap game.
all the guys have their crisp, clean, bright shirt, their nice stiff pants, belt, and white shoes. add in some rings and maybe a chain or somethin, and thats about it. add on their matching letterman jackets, and theyre practically identical.
all of the girls have their pretty dresses and styled hair, but thats really it. their dresses all match the popular style at the time, their hair is perfectly placed and not really Theirs. theyre all styled to be popular, not individual.
and they're all so colorful! because they can afford new fabrics and bright colors and expensive dry cleaners to wash them, though they're careful not to get dirty. theyre so bright and colorful but so painfully similar
contrast that with the greasers, who are all relatively in the same color palette. theyre in basic t-shirts, and denims, and leathers. work clothes. theres no split based on gender, ace wears pants with the guys. they are all down in the dirt and grimey, they all have to move and work in these clothes.
but theres so much personality in their outfits! even just the little things, like jewelry or headbands, tells so much about each person. ace's headband is a scrap from the shirt on her back, showing her resourcefulness. darry's flannel and work pants showing his grit and hard work. the patches decorating steve's jacket, showing his passions and the things he fights for. Johnny's vest showing his heritage, and his too-big clothes showing how hes got hand-me-downs. two-bit's tattoos, shown proudly and boldly on his bare arm for the whole world to see.
the greasers might all look 'the same' at first glance because theyre all in grays and dirty whites and denims. but god there is so much more heart and character and diversity in their outfits and therefore in their lives simply because theyre not worrying about sticking in a top spot of society. theyre not worrying about individuality being a weakness to tear them down. theyve got much bigger things to think about. theyre so free in that sense. free to be themselves, free to be with each other and support each other. because thats all they got; their hearts and each other.
the socs dont have that connection. they dont have that chance to be vulnerable and share a part of themselves so constantly. they may live where the grass is greener but are they really so much better off, if they can never truly show themselves?
#this literally was supposed to be a costume analysis but it did turn into more of a character and society one#i just think its so cool how we all get so excited about. what will the new soc looks be like#when really theyre all so similar. theyre all almost identical#save for a few sweaters. theyre all button ups or dresses#and dont get me wrong i LOVEEEE wondering about the next new costume. i love that shit with all my heart#its just so interesting how much of a facade it kinda is#yea omg theyre all so different but theyre not really. its just the color or fabric. theres no individuality#and thats so important for the socs#they all must fit in and be the conglomerate perfect white americans#whereas the greasers all can truly be themselves because#why bother trying to fit in if its literally impossible for most of them#the only ones who could try would be the curtis brothers. and only one of them made any attempts at that#also. there could definitely be something to say about how paul is the only main soc guy not in a normal shirt#hes got the sweater#like hes the only soc guy thats A Little Different#and hes the only one who interacted positively (at one point) with a greaser#(bar cherry bc that happens in the current plot. please understand me here LMAO)#idk now im yapping#but godddd i love good costume and character design#this shit is so important in a story like this#a story about class and race and poverty and 'real' people#the outsiders musical#the outsiders broadway#costume design#ily sarafina bush and ur team
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it's hans trapp! from drawfee! hans trapp the straw crab!
#cw: scopophobia#ask to tag#I sorta thought I'd draw all three of the thangs mentioned in the latest drawfee ep but ultimately only hans trapp hitted for me#its funny to hear abt that guy in the video nodding along and then scrolling down to the comments and seeing alsace people go#yeah no idk what the lore in the video is from we dont know about all that#hans trapp from drawfee <3#there Is supposed to be a companion piece to this with hans in his knight armor scuttling in the forest crab style#I just think dunmeshi hit the jackpot with that one. yeah a set of plate armor can be a crab. I think thats cool#ultimately I couldnt really mentally justify it so I just did this one but knight crab lives on in my brain#hope u guys can catch some briscoe park vibes from this bc I have been so normal abt that style of photography recently#at this point every value sketch on black I do is in this style lmao. Im not complaining but I do worry just a little bit abt#how sustainable it is. actually no who gives a shit I will do this until I stop and that's the way to go babey <3#holidays for u guys. one more month for me#u guys have fun! hans trapp will be there.
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Just. finished fallout. normal.
#what the fuck#what the fuvck what the fuck what the fuck#im so normal about this guys very so normal#(shaking and gripping the edge of the sink hunched over like im playing silent hill)#so normal so normal#what do i even do with my life now#how am i just supposed to go about my day#FUCK that last scene fucking insane though#oh my god the ghoul is so cool#like holy SHIT#the relization that the ghoul could of killed maximus in that first meeting but just like. chose not to? insane.#fallout is ruining my life i have to play every game now#fallout#i need a season 2 NOW#8 hours is not enough#i need to see Lucy kill her father#its like 5am where i am#im going to impulsively dye my fuckass mullet about this#fallout show#fallout series#just fishdeath-ing#fallout tv series#if anyone wants to talk abt fallout with me i dont know how to start a conversation but im clawing at my walls & willing to try please plea
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Wait, fuck, hold on-
THEY CAN'T FUCKING BRING OUT AN ANTI-HERO ARTEMIS WHEN I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF STUDYING FOR FINALS!!
WHAT THE FUCK, DC?!? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FOCUS?!?
oh i am so excited holy shit. am i the only one getting slade vibes from her?? because im getting massive slade/rose wilson vibes from the single eye cover and im wondering if artemis is a plant, someone unconnected from slade who wouldn't be considered a threat, to go undercover and get close to the titans. this is also like, high-key a chance to make jade and artemis sisters and/or half-sisters in canon which would be neat. i know comics fans aren't huge on changes to the canon based on outside things but making them half sisters doesn't really change jades backstory, nor artemis'.
#i am beating back spitfire fans with a broom#you don't understand what you are asking for. this man canonically has children and is married to someone else#so you are only asking for heartbreak#also Artemis canonically has a kid with someone else#so. again. stop it. if it happens it will be SAD#which#... i mean honestly id be cool with it if it was like... a mutual breakup where they remain friends after#but i kinda want Artemis and Wally to get character development without romance involved so like#im team 'lets not do that pls'#oh holy fuck dc wait don't try to pair up roy and artemis. waid i love you i trust you pls no#this is the pain of being a fan of a female comics character lmao. immediately worried about a shoehorned romance#and don't get me wrong. i fucking LOVE YJs spitfire but this isn't that and it would be so different#and itd be real hard not to be different in a bad way#so#yeah#thats my thoughts#OH GOD FUCK IS ARTEMIS SUPPOSED TO BE FRAN?????? WALLY'S SUPERHERO/SUPERVILLAIN TEAMMATE GF THAT HE LEAVES THE TEAM FOR???#TO GO TO COLLEGE TOGETHER??????#Like. I know that Artemis took Frans place in YJ but is Artemis doing it AGAIN in CANON?? Waid no i LIKE Fran.#Shes magneto but cooler and she just wants to be normal and she was childhood bffs with Wally and she also murdered her family and grew up#with a cult mom. Fran is so central city coded. shes such a girl next door with skeletons in her closet#aughhh#dc#dc comics#kid flash#wally west#artemis crock#tigress#roy harper#speedy
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i should stop starting video games so late at night bc now i dont want to sleep <3
#camera talks#just started in stars and time :33#(saw too many mutuals kinda posting about it and also i heard it had time loops <3)#very very fun for me so far i am enjoyinggg <3#this happened to me with strange horticulture the other day tho and i played like. 75% of my playthrough between 9pm-1am so yah#anyways. made more bread after i stopped wallowing#it is currently cooking and im very excited :))#also emailed my boss about the situationn earlier so that was fun /s#wont get to eat it tonight bc i has to cool But !! fresh bread for the morning before my dentist i suppose#still very worried about that ngl.#also have to drive there and then around the 'big city' with my sister#(its the big city to Us. and we have a little bit of school shopping to do cuz we dont go to this city with my nana when she takes us)#but i will go to sleep dw <33 just reluctantly#i love the rock paper scissors thing in isat btw it makes me so happy ngl#also sorry for the number of concerning posts ive had recently btw. ive had a tough august </3#(normally im chill during august idk what happened </33)#i am trying to get better. it will happen eventually
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waiting for a guy to call you back is such An Experience ™️
#OKAY#so me and FG were SUPPOSED TO HAVE A FACE TO FACE CONVO ABOUT WHAT HE SAID THE LAST TIME (check my last rant post if you dk what im talking#about) ON SUNDAY BUT I RAN OUT THE CAR BC AAAAAA FEELINGS BUT THEN WE WERE SUPPOSE TO MEET TODAY AFTER MY CLASSES BUT HIS BRAKES FOR THE CA#WERE ACTING UP SO HE HAD TO CANCEL BC DUH ITS THE BRAKES THAT CAN CAUSE AN ACCODENT#AND SO WE WERE ON THE PHONE JUST DOING SMALL TALK KINDA DANCING ADOUND THE ACTUAL REASON WHY WE WERE TALKINF#AND THEN HE HAD TO GO BC IG HIS FRINED WAS ON THE OTHER LINE TO HELP HIM WITH HIS CAR SO VALID#AND HE SAID I QUOTE “HOLD UP I’LL CALL YOU BACK’ END QUOTE#4 HOURS AND HELLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO IM STILL WAITING FOR A CALL LIKE ???????????????#AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AFTER AN HOUR OF WAITING HE SENDS ME A MEME#ON INSTAGRAM#LIKE MY LIEGE ARE YOU SEARS?! DO YOU WANT ME TO BLOW A FUSE ??????? LIKE IDEK WHAT IS GOING THROUGH HIS HEAD LIKE OMGOODNESS#i’m Calm Cool and Collected ™️ tho yk? like i’m soooooo normal about this guy and my feelings yk? im just in turmoil on the inside#Friendly Giant ™️#vk overshares in the tags#mutuals my beloved
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im thinking again
#ive been dealt the bad hand; the worse hand; the hand from the arm from the body#im just.....okay#Well aaaa its weird#nothing anyone says to me is to *me*#which is fair-- no one knows me. but i do wish i got it. i dont know#the passing of time is still my worst enemy#i love everyone so much. itssssssweird.#if youre following these posts and saw the last one: i think i am still gonna die soon. awwh man. i dunno#but i have no reason to go on truthfully and i dont feel like finding one#im tired and sad OK?#i do want an acknowledgement again#and if you're following these posts im going to do the same thing i did last time and talk to the three tumblr blogs:#1. hi. i really like you. i admit it. j think youre really cool and all. uh okay im supposed to ask a question so here; how are you? well i#hope. k dont know. i havent been reading up like i should be and as for the second blog im talking to here i also havent been reading up lik#e i should im very sorry. i will make that journal again though.#and third blog: hi!! i still have no clue how to do that one thing but youve really gotten me into the hypothetical idea of differences base#f off of like ...area. the thing you said about that one thing.! i javwnt been doing much about it but thinkin but you know thinkin is fun.#i do want to do reading on it but ive been very sad lately and i cannot be bothered#this is really fun talking to people like this. um#youre very cool blog one ive been becoming a big fan of you again#blog two.if you see this: i want you-- I'm sayin that to specify that I'm talking to you. but i dont. anyway: uh. oh no i forgot what i was#gonna say#okay here's to not talking to anyone particular:#i want to do drugs. its the only way ill be able to handle all this.but i... oh hey i have melatonin!!#hmmmmmm#idk#it just puts me to sleep and i hate sleeping cause im always having bad dreams-- both nightmares and just dreams that Suck-- but...... im#desperate.#okay im gonna take a normal dose and just keep it together i hope#I hate sleeping
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GOD IN HEAVEN AMERICAN MUTUALS WAKE UP. AMERICANS WAKE UP MILES EDGEWORTH IS COMING TO YOU. PLEASE WAKE UP THE DIRECT. THE DIRECT.
#sorry. im being cringe tonight that's where we are get with me#aaa#see every time they go “ace attorney news coming!” we go “investigations 2 translation we haven't given up hope”#and then it happens and i have to figure out how to be fuckin cool and chill about it whateverrrrrrr show me. fender his name is fender now#and whatever patricia roland's name is gonna be#etc etc#SORRY. GREDEWORTH. ON MY SWITCH#I WILL PLAY GREGORY ON MY SWITCH#and i'm just supposed to wake up tomorrow#and tomorrow and tomorrow#creeps in this petty pace from day to day til the last syllable of september the 6th#normal#okay okay okay okay okay okay okay#get me in the morning when i feel properly embarrassed about my reaction to this#ace attorney
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dude no offense but as a system you are so painfully obviously plural i mean this in a completely neutral way but youre plural boi
Are you for real or are you kidding? Please you gotta be honest with me about shit like this, I'm constantly afraid that all of my problems are actually universal (and I am the only one who's bad at handling them) and that I am just "faking" that there is something wrong with me.
#if youre for real you need to tell me because i feel like whenever i ask if my experiences are universal i hear nothing but crickets#which to me implies that they ARE universal. and then i go 'ooohhh ok so im just making nothing into a problem'#and then im like 'i need to Git Gud because obviously this happens to everyone and i am the only one who is bad at living with it so i need#shut up and take it and get better at coping with it'#and i feel like im just making up the rest. i mean people keep saying it to me all the time anyway#people always tell me that its just me being neurodivergent; that its just my adhd. but you know the weird thing is other people with#adhd dont seem to have my problems. all methods that work for people with adhd; they dont work for me either. when i ask further; the#problem seems to be different. but i think that maybe im just making it up. maybe i want to feel special and i just dont know it.#maybe im just looking for differences. but still; it doesnt add up you know? i asked people. i asked people and it turns out that#'remembering' is something else than i thought it was. it turns out that not remembering and sudden remembering works differently#in other people with adhd. when i have a lapse in skills in memories its like...logically i KNOW i have eg seen Blender. i KNOW that#i worked in it because i can log on Nexus and see my mods. but i have never fucking seen Blender. i am utterly unfamiliar with it#sometimes for a reason i cannot name a vague memory of working in it may come back but its like: 'What? But I have never worked with#Blender. What is that? I didn't do that. I mean this memory seems to be telling me that I did but that isn't right. That's not even my#memory. But it's in my head so it has to be. But it doesn't feel like it. It feels numb and wrong and distinctively separate from me; like#movie about a character.'#and i think that may not be common but maybe it is and im just making molehills into mountains?#or like ive always thought that it is normal for your intrusive thoughts to like. have their own belief systems separate from yours#and to have their own voice and their own ability to 'control' you. i mean thats what intrusive thoughts do; isnt it? i mean why would#your own voice yell at you? of course intrusive thoughts would have their own voice with their own vocabulary and their own set of#experiences. after all intrusive thoughts are not you. so i assume this is what is meant by that.but theres a gnawing fear in me that#maybe intrusive thoughts are not supposed to be like that.#or like i have bpd. and i always assumed that that explains everything but after attending group therapy i noticed that i could relate to#others but they couldnt relate to me. and thats mildly worrying but surely it just means that im being paranoid and attention-seeking#like for example i thought that black and white thinking is when you think eg 'I really like them! I think their kindness is super cool!'#and another part of you suddenly goes 'Wow youre a complete idiot. They suck total ass and kindness is just a different word for weakness.'#and you go '???? Are you mental? Thats unhinged. That makes no sense at all. Plus I like them so shove it.'#and that part goes 'Well I hate them. So you can go shove it too.' and you dont agree with that part's feelings at all#nor do you understand their opinion so you're stuck feeling both strong affection and mild hatred at the same time and youre like this suck#and apparently that might...not be how black and white thinking works?
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i feel like going back to ts4 just to spend hours recreating my ocs
#i just oppened it today cause i had to find out which cc broke my game#normal life of someone with tons of cc after updating the game ikr#i decided to check some of my ocs/sims and they re honestly so cool#tho im lowkey more interested rn on keep receating a dude#making men on ts4 is way more difficult than women but ok i suppose this oc im talking about isnt even cannonly pretty so whatever ig#tho i always like to make my ocs and “yh this bitch looks so fine”
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ew theres people in my house
#loud as fuck too. how am i supposed to study in those conditions#i was studying for a bit though. about the genetic types of soil. very cool. i am tired#this month is gonna be super weird. i only have like two days of normal school left (graded projects and stuff) and after that im basically#-free to go and do my own. and study. study a lot. i am scared#but uhhhhh a month free of school? i guess?? but ill be studying at home instead so how good can it be#just need to survive those two months. yikes#mdiaryposting
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Not to be weird about my favorite things on main again but I really enjoyed fully being present for the early album drop; it hit a lot of reoccurring themes the way this artist is wont to do, the wordplay and the way the album was presented was haunting, and i really do think that leaving it like this is both a wonderful teaser and sincerely adds to my personal listening experience and like
I get being excited and it being hard to wait and whatnot, and I did get the feeling that I was a bit older than some of the folks in the chat, but all that being said, I really didn’t appreciate the way those two people kept interrupting others to bulldoze and complain about there not being more immediately; I don’t think it was meant out of harm, but it left me feeling really negatively about part of an overall experience that was otherwise extremely enjoyable and exciting to share! Which is probably a huge part of the frustration, I don’t think it’s actually about those two people at all but more like… the parts of myself that tend to be perceived by myself and others as rude, and arrogant, and kind of inconsiderate? This feels like it’s about me managing to turn minor annoyance at others into self-loathing, honestly.
I want to get back into writing. I don’t think I was ever as good at it as people made me feel, and I definitely don’t think I’d ever hit ‘popularity’ again by any sort of metric- the thought of people reading the things I write makes me want to puke, which is a very weird way to feel about something I used to do for attention because I felt good at it, but those short stories the other day felt good. Yes, that was substantially drug-induced, but I really do feel like I hit something real there, and it was helpful and it felt good, and like it was enough… going back to read it doesn’t trigger embarrassment, or that weird feeling of being fully perceived and wanting to actually have the ground swallow you up like the pastor used to yap about… I want more of that.
#personal#as always I very much don’t want this to end up in the artists tag but it’s the same one that’s usually got me in a chokehold and the album#is amazing and drops on all platforms in like 10 hours and I’m promising myself I’m going to be normal about it#but it very much resonated and I loved it while also fighting the urge to like#write a fan letter and ask if they’re doing okay#maybe a cool rock or an edible arrangement#which is incredibly weird and inappropriate and would probably make them feel horrible under no circumstances will I be doing that#but there was a point during t w e ezers where it was like Oh im seen and then very quickly#oh fuck I can’t believe someone else feels like this that’s awful#village idiot discovers empathy for the first time I suppose#but no I had a really good experience don’t let the documentative process fool you I think I’m just being weird and pensive
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can we take a moment to appreciate how beautiful and perfect and smart i am
#dont talk abt those stupid vampires im working on it ughh. its just i imagine vampires as like not aging But i guess i have fairies aging so#i suppose i could have them age... jsut in my imaginings its like. as long as they feed they stay the same age#but if they go to long they age rapidly and wither up and die or whatever. i just loveee immortality where like#you can die with like. all the extra years youve lived hitting you all at once and instantly aging you#i think its kinda gnarly. so yes. its bc of those books ill never be free. peculiar children my beloved.. SO for my personal vampires i#think its cool if its like that..... + that way you can still kinda likeee. you still Have vampires who age and such.#i also view vampires as not being able to have kids . this is my personal belief. but thats not real in the sims#i suppose it could be they can have kids and the kids age normally up until they start drinking blood?#perhaps a vampire could go their whole life Not drinking blood and just live as a normal human... but thats kind of lame tbh. IDK....#i like the tragedy of being stuck at one age 4ever and such i think you can do some interesting stuff with it but i also love rapid aging#death so im not sure how to make those 2 things work together and i say all this to say i dont want to have to make another fucking age#reference sheet theyre so fucking mindnumbing i dont wantttt to make one for vampires i still havent fixed my fairy one#so i think ill just put in the like game appearance info type stuff for the tricous and then like. i suppose ill jsut have fun and make up#birthyears 4 them and i just wont worry about aging....
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