#and it leads many of the to miss antisemitism that they perpetuate

[tiredandsleepyaf]

Ok, so let me explain why rebloging posts like these do little to nothing to assure Jews that they’ll be safe around you.

Goyim reblogging this stuff don’t typically listen to Jews (which is apparent because we’ve said stuff like this doesn’t actually do anything to help us many times) about their experiences with antisemitism or listen when Jews try to educate them on things like antisemitic dog whistles or blood libel. Most of them are way more enthusiastic about punching Nazis than they are about showing any compassion to Jews. I’d venture to guess the majority of Jewish people know that often the goyim who reblog this stuff are just out for blood and don’t give a damn about us, because we’ve seen this many times. Not to mention that the desire for a violent revolution that some leftists seem to have has led to Jewish people facing a lot of antisemitism (at their hands). I would bet that some of the people reblogging this act similar to Nazis themselves. I know at the very least the goyim rebloging this don’t listen to Jews because we’ve said many times that this sort of thing doesn’t really do anything to help us, and we’d much rather goyim call out and learn about antisemitism. Overall, it’s just very performative activism, and it’s pretty obvious that the goyim reblogging this are just doing it to try and make themselves look better, and not for the sake of Jews.

[josiebelladonna]

”Unfortunately, many people associate engagement in sexual kink behavior with having a negative impact on one’s mental health or stemming from something inherently wrong with the individual, such as a history of trauma, an unhealthy way to cope with stress, or the presence of a sexual perversion. As a result, there’s a notion that mental health interventions are necessary to address kink and there is a history of viewing kink as disordered atypical behaviors.”

i’m actually surprised that i haven’t been institutionalized yet, because my brother has been wanting me to see a shrink for 5 years because according to him, i’m not right in the head. i’m glad he doesn’t know shit about my private life because he’d shit his pants if he saw the sheer amount of kinks that haunt me. and it’s weird, my mental health has actually tanked since getting to know my kinks and starting a sex journal. it’s made me open my wounds and let them bleed, like they were trying to heal already and now they have to scab over again??

“While, in some instances there may be concern for mental health intervention such as engaging in behaviors that harm others or that cause the individual distress, often the push for seeking a mental health professional comes from a place of the negative stigma that has been placed on kinky behavior. However, exploring kinks can actually improve one’s mental health in various ways.”

well, either i’m not doing this right or the research is wrong.

“Research has shown that sexual pleasure is essential to physical, mental, and sexual health and that the presence of sexual pleasure can improve overall well-being. By exploring sexual kinks, you can improve mental health as you allow yourself to experience new avenues of sexual pleasure. By not exploring sexual kinks that may interest you, you miss the chance to incorporate sexual activities that you find pleasurable and risk having a sex life that is not prioritizing your pleasure.”

>the kinktober community is a complete nuclear waste dump overrun with jerks, barbie dolls, walking caricatures, and antisemites, and i find nothing “pleasurable” about any of aspect of it >i proclaim that i don’t want to do it anymore after this year because of that tidbit and i feel like my kinks don’t matter, either >sees that last sentence while bearing in mind that i’m caught under a mountain of kinks

well, i don’t believe this.

“Sexual shame comes from the direct or indirect negative messages people internalize about sex that cause feelings of being inherently wrong. Viewing the presence of sexual kinks as something that needs to be fixed perpetuates stigma and increases shame, directly having a negative impact on mental health. The feelings of shame that come from the misconceptions about sexual kinks can lead to feelings of anxiety and low self-esteem. Also, researchers have identified the following to be reasons people involved in kink experience stress: social stigma, concealment, isolation, and self pathologizing.

When kink behavior is suppressed, we are essentially telling ourselves that there is something wrong with this part of me and that creates an internal conflict. Alternatively, when we view kink as a journey of growth and exploration, we create resiliency against the social stigmas and feel positively rather than negatively about that part of us. Thus, by exploring sexual kinks you give yourself space to decrease these negative feelings as you embrace kink rather than shame it.”

so, that’s it? just start seeing it as a “journey” and you’ll be right as rain?

okay. let me suggest this. when you look around, and you find that everyone is writing about kink, and the way they write it is in the form of scenarios, like “you are their best friend and they come to you with a dirty secret that they’re pregnant” and they are so wildly popular to the point it’s all anyone writes, just “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, “you”, over and over again to the point the word “you” stops being a word and they’re often 500-1500 words; very rarely do you find these that are upwards of 2000 words. then someone like me comes along, writing from feelings that they have literally no way of enunciating aloud because they’ve never had sex or been in a relationship and having a crush is baggage. that someone writes into a kink that’s popular, like for example size kink. outside of their comfort zone: they don’t have any fucking clue how it’s supposed to look and they need to do research in other places on what it even is. they try it out, but they aren’t happy with it because they don’t think of their crush as being a “size queen” and they just realized they wrote 4000 words but it feels like they just stumbled to that mark. they aren’t succinct, and they wish they were. 4000 words to “explore” a kink that everyone else could do in 600?

or better yet, they engage in a kink they are familiar with: leather. they ask themselves if they’re describing it right, if they can depict the smell and feel of it and the eroticism of it… whatever the fuck that is. some broad comes along and writes “you grind on their leather-clad thigh!” and everyone loses their shit while avoiding you like the ‘rona.

all i can think is what on earth was even the point. if this is the “journey”, well, then it’s a journey straight to hell on earth. you stop being “resilient” really quickly.

do you understand now why i wanted to slit my own throat last year?

“As mentioned above, because sexual kinks often have a negative connotation of being inherently wrong due to their lack of mainstream acceptance interest in or participation in a kink can feel shameful. The truth is, there is nothing wrong with you because of your sexual interest. Instead of viewing sexual kinks as something to be ashamed of, view it as a healthy part of your sexuality to explore.“

well, when all everyone wants to do is look down their noses at you when you crank out 5000 words about how much you want to explore your voice kink, is it still healthy? and how do i even know that i’m sexually healthy, anyway?

“If you have interest in a certain kink but you’re unfamiliar about what it entails, knowledge is power. Doing some research gives you the opportunity to explore what the kink entails, what you may or may not like about it, and sometimes you realize that the social construct around the kink may be vastly different than what the kink really is. This will give you the power to make an informed decision.”

*laughs in aquaphilia* *laughs in aforementioned research on size kink, too*

“Having a safe space means that you feel emotionally, psychologically, and physically safe to explore kink. The absence of safety can lead to avoidance and hiding, which directly contribute to feelings of shame. To determine if you have safety ask yourself the following questions:

Do you feel safe with yourself?

Do you feel comfortable exploring this kink, without feeling like you’re doing something wrong?

If not, this would be a good time to work on shifting your view and educating yourself, then give yourself permission to explore.

Do you feel safe with your partner?

If you initiate a conversation with your partner about your sexual kinks, how will they respond?

If you are met with negative reactions when exploring your kinks, it will only reinforce the negative stigma attached to kinks. But don’t personalize this; the other person maybe isn’t there yet, it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong and it’s great that you’re open to exploring what brings you pleasure.”

i feel safe enough with myself to consider exploring the damned things, but i cringe when i masturbate. i cry looking at lingerie and sex toys. and i do in fact do research. and it does absolutely nothing. and i’m perpetually single. i have too many mixed feelings to even consider a relationship. i don’t have any idea how or what a conversation like that would look like.

“Talking about sex and kink can decrease the internalized shame around it! While sex is a personal matter and you may not be ready to shout it from the roof tops, just talking about it with your partner removes the cover up behaviors that perpetuate feelings of shame.

Now that you have the knowledge about what the kink entails you can have an informed conversation with your partner. Sometimes people are quick to shut down a conversation about kinks due to lack of knowledge. If you are interested in a kink, you can provide your partner with information so they can make an informed decision on if the kink is something they want to explore or not rather than making a decision based off what they perceive the kink to be.”

so, since i don’t have a “”””partner”””” (god, i hate that word now), i should talk about my internal world more on here? i have literally never liked doing that, even before the advent of the censors on here. i’m one of those people who, i take a breath and i catch hell for it. really, i used to get scolded for talking about going to a party when i was in engineering school. like “no one wants to hear that and people will use that against you, stop it” (yes, i’d get that at 18/19, legally an adult).

“Everyone has their own palate for pleasure. Sometimes you may find that you are interested in sexual kinks that your partner is not and that is okay. Have a conversation in which you explore how this kink may be incorporated in a way that works for everyone involved. While this may not always be possible, it’s worth exploring the spectrum to see if there’s any overlap in desires.”

tell this to the kinktober community in 2024. requests left and right and only going by what they deem to be “popular” instead of reaching inside themselves. and i have too many fucking kinks, too. there could be overlap but i still would be left untapped. you want me to have a full experience, right? who would be able to keep up with me and all my kinks, every single one of them? this is fucking HORRIBLE! this seriously makes me sick to think about.

“When you explore your sexual kinks in a safe way, you do more good than harm, which oftentimes is the opposite of what cultural norms have taught us. If you find yourself struggling with allowing yourself to explore sexual kinks remind yourself of the benefits on your mental health.”

when you have a thousand and one kinks and you realize most of them will be left out to dry, it becomes kind of pointless, doesn’t it?