#and it's just funny. I guess. how arguing is a privilege

[elkrisen]

I think as a society we're all so disconnected from how anything in our world is built and maintained that it's easy to forget that everything in our over curated spaces has a messy and ethically complicated beginning that we weren't there for and as a byproduct can't ever fully understand enough to critique

[kkoffin]

You're fighting the good fight against those blackpills, but you won't win. I left radblr like 3 years ago because of them and their nonsense. It was so pervasive that there was nothing left of value on radblr.

The blackpills have given up. That's why they are the way they are. They're angry teenage atheists who can't lash out at the powerful and untouchable god (men) so they lash out at the easy target: people (women). Look at their behavior it's the exact same. They think they have discovered the single objective truth of the universe and that everyone who doesn't think the way they think is stupid.

Realistically, they're stupid. I'm not saying that as an insult, but as just a fact. They think all men are evil little rape machines, but somehow that women can all safely just up and leave men and create our own magical, safe, female utopias.... and those evil little rape machines are just going to allow it. Separatism is a privilege bought only by sacrificing all other women.

You can also see how they've given up in how their solution is just for all of humanity to die. They see no future that looks how they want, so they believe none of us should have any future at all. They either argue for women to all kill ourselves, which is obviously great for feminism; to kill all men, which extincts us; to separate all men from all women, which extincts us; or to effectively keep a small group of "breeding" men, which isn't consistent with their ideology, and kills our soul by making us as bad as men.

As the blackpills have given up on women, they have no reason not to make the situation worse by actively pushing women away from legitimate feminism. If I had entered radblr at the same place I left it, I would still be a libfem because they make radical feminism look downright evil. They are actively damaging the feminist cause in the name of their own nihilism

And that's why we can't win against them. All arguing with them does is give them a playground - like the angry little teen atheists they act like.

i hope this isn’t offensive, but this is kinda “blackpill anti-blackpill”, which is. a little funny.

I certainly don’t bother engaging or arguing with them often - the only time i’ve posted about them it’s moreso just to ward them off my blog and let others know i’m not supportive of that sort of behaviour. I think i’ve blocked the main blogs involved.

On both sides, i don’t like infighting. i also don’t like engaging too much with accounts that focus on being anti-blackpill. I’ve been tryna make my whole feed + own blog less infighting and more… anything else feminist. I’ve been posting more recently regarding female health and socialisation, which might be less “radical”, but i’m proud of the content regardless. female health and wellbeing is more important to me than any topic of infighting or debate could be. Ofc, not saying these topics are insignificant at all - they are kinks that need to be ironed out, but i simply prefer to go after the wider picture, i guess. I’ve done my fair share of arguing and tbh i’m pretty sick of it, and i don’t gain anything from it anymore. i prefer to iron things out on my own, and post my finished product, where hopefully no one needs to do any extra part. if they do, and i find my argument needs more refining, i’d rather take the constructive criticism and work with it, rather than against someone.

[kermitthesog]

spoilers hehehehehhhe (pjo + toa deaths)

literally stop. literally stop. stop. stop. stop. i can’t. I was just reminded of how there literally is no main character privilege in pjo other than for percy, annabeth and idk grover? LIKE STOP. you cannot trust rick riordan like other authors because guess what? One of the main characters? Like in the Titan’s Curse with Zoe? nope. dead. Luke? No returning to the good side, no! had to kill himself to stop kronos. Dead. STOP IT. Jason, who was there for a whole series? dead! Silena who was there the whole series and was a secret spy for kronos but redeemed herself by sacrificing herself? oh yeah also dead. Beckondorf who was also there the whole series and helped percy so much? oh you liked him? that’s funny. dead. And yeah you could argue that, at least in that particular series, that character might not be a “main” character, but come on.

it just hurts so much more when you’ve gotten a backstory, personality, fears, motivations, growth, even a redemption arc of a character and you have to watch (well, read) them die. and when that character was so well loved by the other characters and the audience. when the character dies and you have to endure everybody’s reactions. when you cry because someone is screaming out in pain for them like piper for jason, screaming he’s not dead. when they describe their anguish like clarisse with silena. when a character has to walk away after the other sacrificed themselves like percy and beckondorf. when they have to cope with them being forever gone.

i cannot deal with the fact that there are so many deaths of important people. and they still weigh so heavily on everyone else. they made an impact. want some examples?

Zoe: percy still thinks about her.

Luke: he made an everlasting impact on everyone who met him or fought against him.

Jason: the whole rest of the series after the burning maze, apollo/lester dedicates his actions to jason and promises to be human like jason had pleaded for.

Beckondorf + Silena: Are fought for in the end during the final battle against kronos.

[ink-flavored]

OC Musical Tag

Tagged by @noblebs , thank you i'm so excited to do this

Rules: Pick 1-3 songs you feel best embody a character from your WIP/s, either in general or at this moment in the plot.

I love making playlists I have so many playlists!!! Picking 3 songs is gonna be so hard. I'm gonna do it for Pride btw, you can listen to his full playlist on spotify or on youtube

Good Enough by Lø Spirit I've actually had the privilege of hearing this live (Lø Spirit opened for The Struts on their most recent tour, I saw them in May)! As soon as I heard this song I knew it was the perfect concoction of sad and pissed for my sad pissed demon guy. Lyrics example: How can I see roses, and only feel thorns? It never makes sense when everyone says that “the world is yours” I guess maybe I'm broken Or maybe I'm torn On who I once was, who I wanna be and how I was born I've been wearing these losses too long I price 'em out like diamonds, it's a problem It's so hard to feel good when I'm numb I just wanna feel good enough, good enough But what the hell's good enough, good enough?

Rat Child by Crobot If pressed, I could argue that most Crobot songs are about Pride, but this one in particular gives off his vibe so deeply. Lyrics example: There ain't no reason to serve this revenge cold Got my ears feelin' hot from this grudge turnin' old This vendetta's been bought and sold Bought and sold If you're willing to take it as far as I see I've learned everything that I really need Tired of waiting to kill the disease To rip out the anger that's buried in me It's kicked me down on my hands and knees And I can't breathe

Thank God I’m Not You by Himalayas Pride's vibe when he's in a good mood. Also I think it's very funny for a literal demon to go "well... at least I'm not YOU." Lyrics example: I'm a coward, I'm a freak The scum of the earth A liar and a cheat But I could be so much worse You could call me narcissistic You could say I'm of no worth You could call me the scorn of Satan But I could be so much worse I'm such a sinner And I have been since birth Full of greed and full of lust But I could be so much worse You say I'm hedonistic And a bit too extrovert Described as positively sadistic But I could be so much worse

I could genuinely make a sickeningly long post about all 50+ songs on his playlist, but I'll spare you. This time.

Tagging: @foxys-fantasy-tales @noblebs @ceph-the-ghost-writer @auntdarth @damageinkorporated @srjacksin @vacantgodling @duelistkingdom @sigridhawke @void-botanist and anyone else who wants to share!

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Let's talk about Ray Lana Del Rey. and her impact on the music industry. How well she has done and how she literally represents Americana. In such a way, this is what I think Courtney Love has quite a bit of respect for her Cos renoval Courtney to like when she sang heart-shaped book she was like you doing her. This song is about my vigilan. Which is just so funny to me and it it's true. It was about a vagina below, which is also about the box. As she gave him, which was heart-shaped, so yeah, there's there's Courtney ❤️ loving her, and they ended up touring together as some point I believe um. We'll be around 2015

But yes, she really represents this idea miracle. An old Hollywood taking you back to a time. You didn't even know, but she does it so well and she doesn't hide any of the various things either such as Harvey's in the sky. You are all the Wednesday. Everybody knew what he was up to and how Ah powerful, a man or us, and they were scared for we're getting fired. But this is a problem a lot of the time. Good people do nothing cause they're scared of in trouble. I get it, but people should've been less scared of someone like. Did he she Elaine, Del Rey had a huge move? Miss feud, who features ever around the female version of 50 Cent,

Azelia banks About the fact that Conney was wearing the micra hat at the time, I think it was or you talking about. Best white sided the views. But I don't know why these celebrities also, after we say democratic, is it just another part of the game? There are pieces of main checks who wants to be asleep. In fact, some songs even use a certain hurts h. Z to make you feel even angry, upset, confused and the list goes on of what it does. I'm not too sure completely they're too long and her disagreement with his Ilia and over

, she was like, can't be invested in what a black man says as a white privileged woman and like Lana, literally took her to the as of the comments like I feel your slight. Meddling, working, I'll get you. Dreams were not institute. If you're on a flight. Tell you when I'll be there and I'll pull up. So she's not so many scared, I think it's eighth, they would resume. I think a lot of the time they're not. They just don't take it seriously because the list post on tick. Talk about good music, terrible person I think she was on it. Brazilian, not wrong, obviously so more about rhino. Her first level miss called born to Delhi. I remember when friend going, yeah, there's one I just couldn't get into it. That it's only been the last few years over really, I'll come into loving every time.

.

Some people argue, she's gem and I always argue she's a cancer cause she's born homeless so this time, but she said she's definitely a cancer she thought she was a Gemini, her whole life and/or a load of geminist staff like I guess ornaments and stuff. Like that and earrings, things like that anyway here and then she's point about years ago if she was a campses, so she's all loads of things. For a council version instead. But yeah, which people out that she is not a Gemini. Can you not tell from my music like she's fucking cancer?

He hit me, and it felt like a kiss. That's some cancer shit right there. I know it's not her song. That called me daughter, too. She's a cancer, it was nice, we've made very strongly and I've got a lot of cancer basements. But yeah, it's like a good one, my opinion. It's probably a bit edgy a bit like her song, Pepsi cola..

[feverdreamsandlucidnightmares]

i banned myself from posting on tumblr (ik i haven't been entirely successful but an effort was made) until i submit my thesis so here's the shit i wanted to say in my absence (03/29/25 - 04/15/25)

Part 1, Part 2

4/7/25

accidentally bought waterproof mascara which i hate but it does work. sobbed for an hour and it did not budge at all wtf

4/11/25

the way im thinking about kissing someone for science. been thinking about andreil too much. i dont even like kissing, this would not help me write them. at least not emotionally - nothing could lmfao i don't have those feelings so i stay silly and guess and ask my allo friends. but it's been yearssss since i kissed someone. less since someone kissed me but i dont think drunk kisses in bars are going to help me with literally anything

i need someone who will have no feelings for me whatsoever and that will not expect sex to kiss me so that i can figure out blocking for scenes in my fanfiction. wAIT we don't even need to actually kiss i just need someone who is comfortable with gratuitous physical contact/affection and doesn't want to fuck me

instead of working on my thesis (due in 4 days) am thinking about andreil and neil's oblivious ass and the reason we don't have an andrew pov is because it's just him being like i have to kill that idiot every time neil doesn't realize he's being flirted with

andreil + kevin friendship soooo funny to me never die feral angry short bitches as scary dog privilege for anxious asshat who is an entire foot taller than them

genuinely if you think andrew+neil+kevin are not friends i don't know how to talk to you. arguing with me will accomplish nothing btw ALSO jeaneil bestfriendisms. will live and die on that hill. pry it out of my cold dead hands

i love jean moreau. this is known. i could not give a solitary fuck who he dates so long as they're nice to him. so like. jeremy is fine. i love him by proxy bc he's @eleanorpowers 's baby and i love her. this is just how it goes. the only ship i have ever actually felt emotionally invested in is andreil

me, completely exhausted and accomplishing nothing for hours: bitch you have four days. you're in so much debt and you have four more days. finish your fucking thesis. my good bitch. please for the love of fuck

4/12/25

i am actively in this moment filming a timelapse in the hope that it will make me work on my thesis. its working a little. but then also here i am on this fucking hellsite

trying to LOCK IN but wrote 900 words of my aftg fanfic instead fml

can't imagine hating on kevin as a character. as a person however. oh sweetheart we would be having words

i've said something to this effect before, but i think it really is the killer combination of people pleasing + the insane levels of apathy i feel about my life on a near daily basis that, were i a Fox, would have me going like damn we're doing knives today : / and just sitting there. like unless andrew were actively killing me, which he would have no reason to do bc why would i be in his stabby business, i'd just be like damn maybe don't commit a crime in front of me i've talked to enough cops in my life. Everyone there cares about everything too much. In my head it's like okay i have scholarship to do this one thing. and i have to maintain grades to maintain scholarship. so i go to practice and class and then i go to bed. how do they have time for all this drama. like i remember once when i was using public transit bc who drives anymore anyways and because i walk or take public transit everywhere and someone started talking about stabbing people and i was like damn this is my stop (it wasn't) but like that was the whole interaction. i dont have a response for these people, can't imagine involving myself in their business

4/13/25

wheres that fuckin post thats like will you be a man and watch ponyo with me will you be a fucking man and watch ponyo i need to flood people's dash with it

also. and another thing. thesis kicking my ass. two more days fuckkkkk im writing too much fuck my miserable tamagotchi life and my bitchass tummyache rah

have yet to find a position i can sit in for more than mayyyyybe 20 minutes before Pain or Numb. somehow both tbh. it feels like my legs disconnected at the knee. have you ever been typing and your hands just stop being yours. what the fuck

laptop fan sounds like its fighting for its life

fuck me its cold as hell

the like three? specific vertebrae that crunch and pop horribly all the time are actually a bit concerning like bbg i dont think they're supposed to be like that

4/14/25

locked in too hard and now am over 1000 words over the maximum word limit of my thesis and am still going hahaha oh no

[myimaginarywonderland]

No, I am actually going to be that person:

Stop trying to talk down on fucking Anti tags.

I am so tired of you all being like "Drivers deserve no hate, they are human too blah blah". Guess what. Humans fuck up. They get called out for it like they should so they can learn. Sugarcoating especially won't help in a fandom that is already centered around the most privileged fucking people imaginable (majority being cis, straight white men)

Humans also have people that like and dislike them. Do you not think that these tags were created for a purpose? Most of us saw that we didn't like a driver and just like most of you guys want to connect to people who do, we want to connect to people who don't.

Stop trying to argue that you fandom experience gets ruined by anti tags when fans have specifically created those tags so they wouldn't ruin your experience.

I am not excusing deaths threats or threats of violence in anyway but that is not what 95% of anti posts are about. Threats of any kind aren't okay but that is not the case in most posts, hell the majority do not have that.

You create your fandom experience. There are so many kinds of subfandoms that yes are aften found connected to the main fandom. So if you want to avoid one of those fandoms, block tags that are related to it. All of us who interact in and with anti tags are specifically doing that to make your fandom experience easier and more comfortable. We know how hard it can be to navigate a fandom so we are trying our best to make clear where not to go yet you all keep insisting that it is still horrible etc.

This is a sports fandom. People dislike teams, players in every fucking kind of sport. People have preference in every kind of sport. Therefore the same will happen in F1 only instead of players it will be drivers.

Nowadays we have the incredible privilege of being able to choose what fandom spaces to enter, how we want to create those experiences.

Yes, there are still people who do not know fandom etiquette but that really is a very small minority.

I also find it funny that only when your favourite white boy is suddenly under criticism are you all complaining about hate meanwhile drivers like Max and Lance where cyberbullied since they entered the sport as teens, Lewis still has to face racism from within the motorsport community, ...

Again: Anti tags do not mean death threats or violence should ever be allowed there. Those have no place anywhere.

But Anti tags are not made to threaten drivers. Anti tags are a result of people personal negative opinions on drivers that they want to share with others just like the normal tags are a result of people's personal positive feelings that they want to share with others. Both of these people deserve their place in fandoms, on completely opposite ends as to not disturb one another.

[lenievi]

I understand that this might not be what others think, but this is where I am now:

humanity evolved, went to space, Spock was born, Spock started Vulcan-Romulan unification

for Spock to be able to do that, The Eugenics wars needed to happen, because the technological progress was important for space travel

now, in the future, some Romulans didn’t like the unification, didn’t like that Kirk stopped the war between the Romulans and the Federation a few times. So time travel they did

nothing too obvious, just blowing up bridges, labs (they might not even be time-travelling Romulans, just current time Romulans who were ordered to go there because a time traveler told the Praetor, or something) [There were no Romulans hindering humanity’s progress in the TOS timeline imho] and hindering the progress

now, Sera, the Romulan, did not like the slow progress. She travelled back in time, to the 1990s, but those times were already changed by other Romulans. 

But the universe wants stuff in order - and those are: the existence of Khan, Eugenics wars, Kirk in charge of the Enterprise at a precise time in history, Spock alive and in a position where he can start Vulcan-Romulan unification (when these don’t exist, Federation and the Romulans enter the war and that isn’t supposed to happen)

in current SNW timeline, there was no Khan born from selective breeding and ruling a part of Earth in the 1990s (and La’an doesn’t exist in the original TOS timeline). Someone stopped that. In 2020s, a boy named Khan exists, who might be genetically engineered as an embryo (and La’an is his descendant).

and the universe will push so that between 2265-70, Kirk is in command of the Enterprise. So Spock stays alive. Whenever something happens to change that, it will be corrected, but it will bring changes. 

snw1 finale was also affected by that. That’s why the old Romulan was missing. That’s why the Romulan fleet was so close. There was an opportunity in that skirmish, and Romulans were right. They could go to war.

TOS happened in the way it happened. It exists, or perhaps it’s a timeline that ceased to exist. We had the privilege to watch it unfold, but it won’t ever happen again, no matter how many prequels we’ll be able to watch. The characters will arrive at the same destination, but the paths might be altered; they will be slightly different people because they went through slightly different experiences.

When Nero and Spock travelled back in time, they already came into a different timeline. Where Khan’s history was different from the one in Space Seed. Nero just changed the course of some characters, but they aligned themselves. They all ended up on the Enterprise, after some pushes.

like idk maybe I’m reaching, but it works really well for me (but I also don’t watch any other Trek shows, only those TOS related. I just like that SNW gave me the ability to see SNW and TOS in this way, and it is a valid reading.

And it could make SNW so much better because they don’t need to line up everything 100% with TOS, just the key factors. I do think one of the showrunners said “storytelling is above canon”  and sure, therefore say that TOS is a different timeline and you can do anything you want. It isn’t that hard. People will then stop arguing and nitpicking, instead of just guessing and having two groups argue.

(kinda funny how my addition to this silly thought post kinda became canon-ish)

(I mean it won’t really change anything in the way I talk about TOS or SNW, but I like the idea. And I might stop nitpicking lol)

[captainexplody]

Doctor Dangerous

Doctor Dangerous was in the mood to operate on somebody. “Give me someone to cut up!” he would yell inside his private practice. It’s private because you need an invitation to get in. It’s a real exclusive club, man. You gotta get an invite. Anyway, Doctor Dangerous feels like living up to his name. “It’s time for me to get dangerous!” he would say, and all of the people who worked for him would nod their heads and go along with it, and say things like “Well I guess it’s just time for him to do something dangerous” and then they just let him do whatever it is he wants to do. Usually, whenever Doctor Dangerous wants to do something dangerous, people just let him. Otherwise they’d have to listen to him moan and complain about not being allowed to do anything dangerous, and he can go on about it for a long time. I mean he can be really annoying, he won’t shut up about it. Really unbearable, man, trust me. It’s just easier to let him do whatever dangerous thing he wants to do.

Doctor Dangerous holds out his hands and waits for a nurse to place something in said aforementioned hands. Whatever he is given, he hopes it will be really dangerous. The nurse hands him a scalpel, and Doctor Dangerous throws it away angrily, narrowly avoiding hitting an intern with it. The intern needs to understand just how dangerous it is working with Doctor Dangerous. It’s pretty dangerous, honestly. Doctor Dangerous demands that something much more dangerous be placed into his hands, potentially something that can explode. A nurse hands him a baseball bat with nails sticking out of it, and Doctor Dangerous seems amused. “This feels pretty dangerous, all right!” he says out loud, and everybody in the room agrees with him. You can’t argue with the facts, a baseball bat with nails sticking out of it seems pretty dangerous. 

Now that we have our operating instruments, it’s time to operate! Who have we got, who is next in line? Somebody nearby spins a big wheel with loads of names written on it, to see who gets the privilege of being operated on next. Doctor Dangerous is in high demand these days, he has people lining up just to get the opportunity to be touched by his destructive (and yes, dangerous) hands. Legally, ethically, you are probably wondering how Doctor Dangerous can get away with all of this. The answer is, he makes a lot of money. He is a very popular and very influential person. He has a lot of connections. He knows people, and he isn’t afraid to operate on those people. He isn’t afraid to operate on anyone. If the people keep lining up to be unnecessarily operated on, if the people keep paying him ridiculous amounts of money just for him to hit them with an exploding hammer, then he will oblige his adoring public. People seem to really enjoy his wacky antics.

The wheel stops spinning and it has landed on ‘Former United States President George W Bush’. A large door opens and George W Bush is walked into the operating theatre, waving at everybody as he walks. He takes a good look at the baseball bat with nails sticking out of it, and points to himself as if to say “Is that for me?!”. George W Bush is instructed to lie down on a big table, which he does, as Doctor Dangerous rubs his chin thoughtfully. Is a baseball bat with nails in it really suitable for a former President of the United States? Doctor Dangerous believes that he needs to up his game significantly. 

Doctor Dangerous whispers something to a nearby nurse, who thinks that this idea is incredibly funny and amazing, and she hurries away to prepare it. “Won’t be a moment, Mr President! Have to get the good stuff ready for you, you see” says Doctor Dangerous. George W Bush is very happy to wait for the good stuff. Doctor Dangerous looks at his watch and wonders if he can fit in another operation in before the end of the day, after he has finished with George W Bush. Oh who is he kidding, of course he can fit in another operation! He can do whatever he wants, and if he wants to stay up all night operating on people, then that’s what he will do!

The nurse from earlier has returned with a chainsaw that is also on fire, and Doctor Dangerous looks as happy as a child at Christmas. What a wonderful new toy! Ah but what does Former President of the United States George W Bush think about it? George W Bush gives Doctor Dangerous a big hearty thumbs up, and that seems like a pretty good endorsement. Doctor Dangerous tilts his head back and opens his mouth as a nearby nurse pours a quarter of a bottle of Chinese vodka down his throat. The good doctor swishes that cheap disgusting mess around his mouth, spitting a little stream of Chinese vodka into a nearby nurses mouth, as he wipes his own mouth with his sleeve. Very hygienic. Alright kids, it’s time to get dangerous! Doctor Dangerous starts revving up the chainsaw, ready to go to work. He has the best job in the world.

[meanwhileinstasiville]

You young kids from 2010s or something...

I write really candid stuff about the kkk and personal family history for a reason.

Populism DBA the KKK, that's when reporting a rape got a woman raped more, discretited or murdered for "making a stink". When the people they were most supposed to trust were the ones killing them, torching houses, and "finishing them off" when they got injured. Doctors and emergency people. Democrats at the most extreme, and enforcing the status quo on anonymous pain of death.

"Guns vs butter" they call the thing between democrats and republicans

Eisenhower and "fruit growers" occupying and seeding south America with puppet states to secure crops, that's the republicans at their most extreme. A military annexation around anywhere Eisenhower saw fit; highest approval rating ever "winning WW2" like a demagogue religious authority. And it's not fascism; it's the military industrial complex at the "guns" end of services vs defense argument.

(when you're emotionally arguing about likeability for executive function positions; you are being idiots IMHO)

Fascism. Fascism is 1950s when an "exceptional person" raped you, that was considered a privilege; also Germans shooting children in people's yards, right in front of them for "playing too loud". Rapists making raper babies. All the people and development of value anywhere in a government, goes to one city with one demographic in it. Consent is *one sided* under fascism. They consented to rape you, so "you were asking for it"; using rape as an example here because it's the most clear discussion about boundaries. They consented to shoot you; you were in the wrong. Great if you fit whatever the stereotype is of the time. But *they change*.

Despotism. Also anarchy. Something the other side of my family has a long history of, and they'd as soon never discuss. Despotism is when someone like a parent makes a cruel joke at your expense, and you have to laugh along with it so you don't get splattered all over the walls *by your relatives*. Who may themselves have their technique commended by *your parents*. Because jokes are funny. Dutch people eviscerating relatives with gossip fall into this category too. It seems really great and noble and all that until you see it; again, an example extreme enough to showcase the real problem.

Shooting in north hollywood. Half a city or more responds to two guys decked out in military hardware. Seems action heroish surrounding them and blazing away to find they're armored too, right? So while you've got a ring of hundreds of people (thanks dad)... what's *behind you*??? You're the alamo between bloods and crips free too surround you a half encirclement per side. Sticking it to the man, they could've called it; do you *want* bloods and crips running LA??? Do *they themselves as generational gang members* want to be running it? Do they think they even could?

Coming ancestrally from a group of people who went through a phase *of using human body parts to make dishes*, my guess is not so much.

Communism. Socialism when *anyone outside latin america and mostly mexico* practices it. Everyone is the same. Right? Selectively bred to be one height, weight, hair color, and built. Might take a while for white people to get there. Everyone has the same skills. Mexicans are admittedly and notoriously bad at chemistry; something they just don't do. Astronomy, botany, science science stuff. Not chemistry.

No one can build a castle because *everyone* doesn't have one. Any time progress like that occurs ahead of *everyone*, they subsume and destroy it. Everyone has to start making a house at the same time, everywhere as a simultaneous exercise. Or no one has one. Spain's haciendas are for "tourists" because all the people don't have them. Consensus is communism; nobody votes where people agree in astronomical numbers about how to proceed *ever so slowly* with things.

Yes, I'm aware Colombia has ancient history of republics and representative government as old or older than greeks who "invented it". But call communism in practice something that took tens of thousands of years to build, in practice. And it only works for latinos in central america, same as Aboriginal eel traps in Australia.

Slavery was ended by executive order. Not a vote. You can't vote things like those away. Can't vote a standard of living or vote for rights.

[doberbutts]

Re: tags it was me yeah

I have like. A *bunch* of trans guys in my personal friend group that are all roughly my age, but come from wildly different walks of life. I was just talking about this funny enough with one of those trans guy friends.

I know a trans guy who has been raised as male since he was 3 years old. Literally outside of his parents and doctors (and the odd background check that dives this deep), no one knows he's trans. He may as well be a cis guy who happens to have a vagina. One of those "mom wanted a girl dad wanted a boy" situations except when he adamantly told his parents he was a boy and to stop calling him a girl the second he figured out the difference, parents went *shrug* ok guess we have a boy now.

I know another trans guy who went through full medical transition as a minor. Again, no one in his adult life except maybe doctors and background checks and his parents know he's trans. He passes so well for male that he's *told sex partners* that he's transgender and they're still surprised when they find the evidence of it on his body.

These guys I would argue (and, so would they) have a lot of access to male privilege. But still not quite comparable to a cis man. They have "get paid better" and "treated with respect at work" and "don't get catcalled" and "more likely to be hired" privilege.

But, "laws written in their favor" privilege? "Politicians biased towards them" privilege? "Doctors actually willing to listen to them" privilege? "Medical industry prioritizing them" privilege? They don't have access to any of that. That's cis men, and only certain cis men at that.

Both of these guys I'm using as examples are deeply, deeply stealth. They do not have the ability to be known *and* to have access to this privilege. It's like arguing that a gay man deep in the closet is privileged because he doesn't experience as much overt homophobia as someone who out and very loud about it. Sure, the closet grants some safety. I wouldn't say that hiding a large portion of your identity is a privileged existence.

And when it comes to statistics regarding violence against transmasculine individuals, it's not like they're safe from this just because they're so good at passing. Both of them have experienced sexual violence. Both of them have experienced domestic violence. Both of them have been deeply suicidal in their lives. One of them still needs access to abortion and his state has banned it nearly completely. One of them lives in a state where HRT is increasingly becoming less and less legal and he doesn't have any other means of producing enough hormones in his body, which means he is looking at the potential of being forced to medically de-transition if testosterone gets banned entirely. One of them had a coworker figure it out and needed to leave his job for his own safety due to the harassment. One of them has survived multiple suicide attempts. One of them still self-harms.

And like. This is just two neurodivergent white guys.

The guy I know, who disappeared after his parents forced him to marry someone he was assaulted by? He's South Asian. I'm black, I've got my own stories to tell. I know a guy who's Egyptian with *his* own stories. And a guy who's Native, and one who's Jewish, and another who's Mexican. These guys are all various levels of passing themselves, where they pass to most strangers in their day-to-day, and they have much different lives than the above mentioned two.

But for me, I do make the argument OP's talking about, only because I keep seeing the argument "trans men are men and were always men and thus always had male privilege" at which point I go "how does a 5 year old in a pink frilly dress and pigtails have male privilege".

Like I've said before I think it's not as simple as "have" or "have not" to describe any transgender person's relationship with gendered oppression vs privilege, because there is a lot of nuance there we're ignoring, but also I don't think it is a condemnation of character nor a moral dilemna to be seen as male and thus be treated accordingly, because privilege is something society bestows upon you and usually for things out of your control.

while i get where this comes from and it’s true to an extent, i reeeaaaally don’t like how people try to explain “trans men don’t [necessarily] have male privilege” with things like “some trans men don’t pass”.

like sure that’s the most obvious example (someone who is seen as a woman won’t have the privilege that comes with being seen a man) but you’re still acting like being a passing trans man is just a free opt-in to male privilege which is………kinda the issue.

[donnerpartyofone]

I love this from him, not only because it feels like almost no one else wants to admit that That Episode of That Show was cheesy and condescending, but also because when I first saw this screencap it was in a tweet where the user added something like, "Trying to imagine the person who recommended this to Paul." I also tried to imagine them! I want to assume it's like a younger relative who doesn't know any better or something, but first of all it doesn't take intimate knowledge of Paul Schrader to imagine that he probably would not enjoy The Last of Us; secondly, he JUST TOLD YOU he doesn't want to watch anything zombie-related, clean out your ears!; and third, please for the love of god don't badger people with your petty, meaningless subgenre distinctions. You can't even trust that every single nerd wishes to debate you on whether there is any point at all in separating out all the slightly-different shambling, infected mobs of ex-humans which are all used to tell the exact same kind of story--please don't do this insufferable thing to normal people. Especially not to someone who just told you they don't like the main form of shambling, infected ex-human mob, you're not going to trick that person into approving of your favorite show on the technicality that the mob is shambling for a new and novel reason. This all reminds me of:

1. How people just cannot allow anyone to dislike Their Thing no matter what. One time I posted this quote from Werner Herzog saying he prefers the artifice of pro wrestling to the broad, ridiculous imitation of emotion that you get from contemporary theater, and somebody reblogged it with a string of angry tags about how many innovations and revolutions have occurred in the world of live drama up to the modern age, concluding with "KNOW YOUR HISTORY". Which is so funny and pretentious, like "know your history" is how you scold people who don't know where their privilege comes from, it's not for bullying people who just don't enjoy something, by suggesting that they have to inspect every single available version of the thing before they're legally allowed to say "I don't like that, it's not fun for me."

2. I once worked for this comic book business where we had to come up with genres, subgenres, and tags for all the titles. Pretty much all of us employees were ex-"gifted and talented" students, and this one particularly pretentious dude argued that we should categorize a graphic novel of the New Testament as a zombie book because of Jesus's resurrection. He thought he was being soooooo clever as if he were the first person in the universe to think of this dumb joke, but the conversation was also a big waste of time because fancy thought experiments are simply not useful for merchandising. Like, if a customer walked into a bookstore, told you they wanted zombie comics, and you gave them the fucking King James Bible, they definitely would not appreciate your marvelous ability to Think Outside the Box, and also you'd be dangerously close to becoming a living *youth pastor voice* meme. You're not in third grade anymore and you're not getting extra credit for creativity, shut the fuck up and stop saying Jesus is a zombie. No one is impressed.

PS In that same project at that same job there was a whole controversy about how to label "adult content" because we didn't have any hardcore stuff, but we did have sort of R-rated books that served a similar purpose, and nobody knew what to call them because it was felt that "adult" or "mature" or whatever could be misleading to actual porn consumers. The Jesus-zombie guy suggested that we name this genre things like "bawdy", "ribald", and "tantalizing", as if that would actually be more helpful. He just wanted to show off words that he knows, as you can probably guess by now--but like accuracy of description aside, I dunno man, if I were in a physical bookstore, I would be WAY more embarrassed to be standing under a sign that said "TANTALIZING" than to be caught walking through the curtains to the ADULT section. (I don't know if any bookstores would have that or if it's only a video store thing but you know what I mean)

[scoopsgf]

I agree with you on that! I feel like a lot of people who hate that line and want to distort it into something manipulative are obviously just hateful of the fact that something that Jess said and did in front of Rory is what drove her to make a change in her life and go back to Yale. Imo that's sort of a recurring thing for them even in the revival: Jess comes back, and even for a small moment when meeting up he gets to the bottom of what's truly been bothering Rory and how she just lacks any drive and passion for where she's at, both professionally and personally. You don't get those kinds of scenes with Logan or even Dean. Even if you were to argue that Logan "supported" Rory in times of need, and so often it was very surface-level in the moments that he does offer support or vague encouragement, it doesn't have the significance that Jess's appearances have. And it's also kind of funny how it's at these moments that I've heard some fans say "well Rory should've been allowed to figure it out by herself", but lbr if Logan got the significance Jess did in these scenes they'd really just eat it up with no complaints.

oh you’re absolutely right. the thing about jess that’s so significant when it comes to his bond with rory is that he can read her so well. he’s always been able to actually. he can tell when she’s pissed off, when she’s upset, when something isn’t right in her life, when she’s in a fight with dean, etc etc. he’s just very very good at picking up on tiny cues and tells (which is a skill that a lot of abused children, myself included, tend to develop; the more you can read someone the easier it is to avoid setting them off and getting yourself into deep shit). neither dean nor logan have this ability. their perception of rory is completely warped by who they want her to be/who they believe she is. dean wants to “tame” her for lack of a better word, and subconsciously does things to get her to start second guessing herself and minimising her views, suppressing her emotions, brushing off her own feelings when they’re fighting in favor of his, etc. logan sees her as a privileged girl who’s too uptight and needs to loosen up, and his whole agenda is getting her to relax and have fun and be spontaneous, so of course he wouldn’t put up much of a fight when she dropped out of yale. jess, on the other hand, knows exactly how much yale meant to rory, and what it was doing to help her achieve her dreams, so naturally when he hears that she isn’t in school anymore his immediate reaction is gonna be confusion, concern, and even frustration. he knows who she is, he knows she’s better than a life of partying and yacht theft and whatever else she would’ve gotten into with logan. and like he said, it isn’t even about logan, it’s about rory. it’s about the fact that jess recognized her regression and knew she wasn’t okay after spending five minutes in her presence. bottom line: he gets her, they don’t. you could argue that when it comes to certain things he knows her even better than lorelai does, actually, because he sees her honestly and doesn’t have any desire to change her—he just wants her to be herself. and that more than anything is why, at the end of the day, he’s the best guy for her and always will be.

[the-scarlet-witch-22]

Chaconne: Part 9 (Agatha Harkness x Fem!Reader)

Summary: With the first concert of the season approaching, you continue working as the personal assistant of Maestra Agatha Harkness, while attempting to juggle your relationship and future in the process.

Word Count: 5K Words

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCfDtxcFoyM

A/N: Hello everyone! Welcome to Part 9 of Chaconne. One quick thing...I have decided to extend this story by just a few parts, I really don’t want to rush through the ending and there are a few more things I want to write haha. Anyways, I included a link to the first movement of Dvorak Symphony No. 9, and it’s briefly mentioned throughout the story so if you feel inclined feel free to listen. I really hope all of you are still enjoying the story, and that you enjoy Part 9! As always, please feel free to leave a comment and my asks/messages are open if you have any questions :)

Tag List: @annie-mit-ie​  @celasteria​  @danvers97​  @imthedoctorlove​  @mcfriggingonagall​  @meowsaidmissy​ @notsosecretlyalesbian​ @sarahp-stan​ @scarletwxtxh​ @scarletmeltstheice​ @shinkomiii​ @sxfwap​ @thestrangeundoing​ @teenwonder​ @upsidedowndanvers​  @venticalooks​  @vintagegoddess12​  @everythingmarvelsherlockspn​  @thoroughly--confused​

You weren’t sure how long you were frozen on stage, completely lost in your thoughts before the sound of Agatha’s heels came clicking from backstage. Just as you managed to clear your head of Wanda’s offer, the alluring scent of lavender invaded your senses. Even from a few feet away you could hear the conductor mumbling to herself about god knows what. As soon as she spotted you, however, the ramblings immediately stopped.

“Ah, there you are,” Agatha said, offering you a rare but genuine smile as she set her belongings down on the podium. “I see you set the stage.”

Nodding you motioned across the hall. “It didn’t take too long but I gave the winds extra room like you requested.”

The conductor nodded before curiously eyeing you. “Are you alright, dear? You seem distracted.”

Well you could tell her that her least favorite concert pianist had just suggested you move to Vienna. Or how Wanda was apparently aware that there was something going on between the two of you. A part of you did think it would be important to inform Agatha of that, but you also didn’t want to make the situation any worse than it already was.

You quickly nodded and gave her a reassuring smile. “I’m fine. Just a bit tired.”

Agatha’s eyes searched yours for a moment before nodding and turning her attention to her Dvorak score. A few minutes later, various MSO musicians arrived and began unpacking on and off stage. You eventually headed out to sit in one of the front rows, and you realized you never told Monica that she would be getting a new stand partner.

Luckily it didn’t take long for the violinist to enter the hall, followed closely by Jimmy and Darcy. Her face lit up when she saw you, and went to set her violin down in the row you were sitting in.

“Hey Y/N,” Monica greeted you brightly, before frowning when she noticed something was amiss. “Where’s your violin?”

“I...I’m not playing with the MSO anymore,” you explained quietly, watching Agatha berate the second chair oboist on stage for the way she tuned. “Hayward had blind auditions to fill the chair and I didn’t get it.”

“That’s whack,” Darcy immediately replied, causing Jimmy and Monica to glare at her. “What? It is.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Monica said sincerely. “You’re really talented, I hope you know that.”

“Yeah and it’s only one audition,”  Jimmy pointed out. “Hayward’s always been a bit hard headed when it comes to filling seats, especially if it’s someone he picked.”

“It’s okay,” you insisted. “And Monica you’ll be getting a new stand partner so I’m sure he’ll be really good.”

“Which one is he?” Darcy asked curiously as she scanned the hall.

You discreetly glanced around the room before you found him. He was already heading on stage, violin in hand. You hadn’t really paid him much mind before the audition, but now you seemed to notice every detail about him. The sure way he presented himself as he practically strutted up the stage. His rigid posture as he sat in his seat, as if that was a comfortable way to sit.

You motioned your head to the stage and Darcy let out a quiet snort. “Oh good. John Walker.”

Monica rolled her eyes at her friend. “You know this guy?”

“Of course I do,” Darcy replied. “I know everyone.”

“What’s his deal?” Jimmy asked curiously. “He seems a bit...”

“Like he has a stick up his ass?” Darcy guessed, and Jimmy laughed.

“I was going to say uptight, but sure.”

“Walker fancies himself to be a bit of a prodigy,” Darcy explained and shook her head. “He’s good, don’t get me wrong, but he’s not amazing. I played a few gigs with him last summer in the Hamptons and I dreaded every moment spent in his company.”

“I’m sure he’s not that bad,” Monica argued before giving you a sympathetic glance. “Sorry, Y/N.”

“You don’t have to apologize, I agree with you,” you reassured the violinist. “I’m going to go see if Ag- Maestra needs anything before rehearsal so I’ll see you guys later?”

Agatha was leaning against the podium, drinking her water when she saw you approach her. The conductor appeared exhausted again, and you made a mental note to make sure she went straight home after rehearsal.

“Is there anything you need me to do?”

Agatha handed you her spare Dvorak score. “I’ll need you to tell me how the sound projects through the hall. We’ll be running the first movement today and I need to make sure the opening cello theme is clear enough.”

“Right, and if something isn’t clear what do you want me to do?”

“Well you could always throw something at Dottie,” Agatha suggested. “That would certainly get my attention.”

“Very funny,” you deadpanned. “I’m being serious.”

“As was I, dear. Dottie needs to look up from her music more. Perhaps that would encourage her to do so,” Agatha replied nonchalantly before sighing at the look you gave her. “Fine. I’ll ask you at the end of the movement what your notes are.”

“You mean my notes on sound projection, right?”

Agatha shrugged. “Or any suggestions you have on how to improve different sections. I...” the conductor paused and glanced around the hall to make sure no one else was listening in. “I do value your opinion.”

Your felt your heart sing at those words, and it took everything in you to not grab the older woman and kiss her senseless. Instead you gave her a bright smile. “Well I suppose I can try really hard to come up with a few meaningful suggestions.”

Rolling her eyes at your words, Agatha shook her head. “Try not to make me regret my decision, dear. Take a seat a few rows back, I’ll be starting rehearsal soon.”

Sure enough, just as you took your seat Agatha had the orchestra tuning before instructing them to start at the beginning of the first movement of the Dvorak. You loved every movement of Dvorak Symphony No. 9, and while you adored the fourth movement, there was something quite special about the first. There was this beautiful building intensity that started in the strings before slowly rising to include the entire ensemble. It was passionate, colorful, and left you eager for more.

As much as you loved performing, and you did more than anything, you found yourself enjoying getting to observe the rehearsal from your seat in the audience. It allowed you to focus on so much more than when you would be sitting in the first violin section. Before you never saw how Jimmy appears to have his entire part memorized since he usually has his eyes locked on Agatha the entire time. Or how talented Darcy was. You knew she had to be a good percussionist to be subbing for the MSO, but she performed with so much energy you found it hard to tear your eyes away from her.

Then there was Agatha. The conductor appeared lost in the music as she mindlessly conducted, but you swore you never saw anything more beautiful. Every single time you had the privilege of watching her conduct you swore she kept finding new ways to draw you in. How someone could make the simple movements with a baton and her hand so enticing. She had so much energy in her while conducting, and the love she had for the music was so clear in her eyes. What was even more fascinating to you was how easily the rest of the orchestra seemed to follow her. All of her cues were perfect, and she never missed a downbeat. She was by far the best conductor you had ever seen and you would never tire of getting to see this side of her.

The movement progressed and you turned your attention to the first violin section. Monica was was entirely in her element, and you immediately felt a slight pang at not being next to her on stage. You had a few stand partners who had been lovely over the years but Monica was better than all of them combined. She was so precise in her playing, and her technique was absolutely flawless. But what made Monica so unique was how genuinely kind she was. A lot of violinists were so focused on their craft it didn’t matter who they stepped on to get their way, but it was clear Monica didn’t play by those rules.

As you felt your eyes wander, they landed on the new violinist. John Walker. He was...good. The egomaniac violinist inside of you wanted to argue that you were better, but you shoved those comments away. For one thing he used far too much bow on his tremolos, and you were worried he was going to send his bow flying across the stage with the way he was holding it. Then there was his posture, he sat so rigid in his seat. After a few moments, you realized you were sounding more and more like Agatha.

Tearing your eyes away from the first violin section, you wrote down a few notes on sound quality throughout the movement and forced yourself to stay focused. The movement progressed and you couldn’t help but note how good the orchestra was sounding. Granted Agatha ran them hard, but it was clearly paying off. They were good before, but they were finally playing with more of a purpose. Unfortunately, you didn’t think Agatha felt the same was. As soon as the final chord rang out, the conductor whipped her baton on her stand, and you could tell she was angry.

“I don’t know where to begin,” Agatha spat out as she flipped through her score. “That was the saddest attempt of Dvorak I have ever heard in all my years of conducting. I’ve worked with youth symphonies who sounded better than all of you combined.”

Personally you felt Agatha was exaggerating a tad, but you watched her continue to rant.

“Woo, your projection is eons better than before but I still need more,” Agatha called out to the winds section, and you saw Jimmy shoot up in his seat as the conductor called his name. From the percussion section, Darcy also appeared to notice Jimmy’s change in posture and she glanced over and shook her head at you.

“If the rest of you could play as well as Woo I doubt we would be having this conversation but alas,” Agatha sighed, before tapping her baton on the stand. “Flutes, I’m starting to wonder if all of you are deaf or just enjoy the sound of my voice berating you, because what the hell was that? Jones, all of your solos are splitting my brain open. Either work on your intonation and have it fixed by tomorrow morning or I’ll be moving you to second chair.”

Dottie slouched in her seat and you bit your lip. Agatha had lost her temper before during rehearsal but this was slowly starting to get worse.

“I don’t have to time to rerun all of this because we have the idi-Miss Maximoff joining us shortly, but please turn your attention to measure seventy-five,” Agatha instructed the ensemble, before turning her attention to the first violins. “First violins, I need this melody to be sweet and light as we begin, don’t give me too much too soon.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the new violinist raise his bow to ask a question. Oh good. That would definitely end well...Agatha continued rambling on about vibrato and tone, seemingly unaware of the violinist and a part of you hoped perhaps he would simply move on and ask the question later. But it appeared he was the persistent type as he cleared his throat to get the conductor’s attention. Although you were positive Agatha heard him, you were a few rows back and the sound was clear as day, she continued her rant, ignoring him completely. At this point the rest of the orchestra seemed aware of what was going on and everyone seemed to be waiting for Agatha to acknowledge him.

“Maestra? I had a question,” The violinist’s voice boomed through the hall, and you internally winced as you watched Agatha whip her head to look at him.

“Ah yes, our new addition,” Agatha said briefly, as she eyed the violinist. “John Walker, is it?”

He nodded. “I hate to interrupt Maestra-“

Agatha cut him off, appearing to grow more uninterested with every word that came out of his mouth. “Yet you still proceed to act like a privileged toddler to get my attention, so please, Walker, what is it?”

“I merely wanted to suggest a different approach to measure seventy-five,” John explained and he had far too much cockiness for your liking. “I know you feel it’s best to take a softer approach, I was always told to start with a bigger sound then slowly decrescendo. It’s just a suggestion.”

There was another pause as Agatha stared at the violinist with a calculating and cold stare. A part of you wondered if this would be the day she finally snapped and whipped her baton at someone. You had heard rumors of a betting pool the interns had on when Agatha would inevitably strangle someone for making her too angry. You had thought they were being a bit drastic at the time, but seeing the way she was looking at Walker was making you reconsider that.

“Thank you for sharing your very generous suggestions with us, Mr. Walker,” Agatha replied, and there was emphasis on the word suggestions. “I’m not sure if you are aware of where you are, but this is my orchestra.”

John frowned at that, and once again unwisely opened his mouth. “Maestra, I wasn’t attempting to overstep. I just thought I would offer my opinion on how to make the section stronger.”

“Ah yes, my mistake. I must have forgot when I asked for your opinion,” Agatha retorted. her temper appearing to grow more and more heated. “Would you like to offer any other suggestions, Walker? I’m positive the entire orchestra is simply dying to hear your words of wisdom.”

This time John remained silent, but you saw how darker his appearance grew at being called out in front of the entire orchestra. Agatha appeared satisfied by that and she tapped her baton against the stand again. “Lovely to see the newbie catching on. Measure seventy-five.”

The rehearsal of Dvorak continued to drag, and you marked a few notes for suggestions like Agatha had asked you to. You would occasionally check the clock, wondering when Wanda would be arriving since the orchestra was set to rehearse Rachmaninoff at 8:30 sharp. Eventually the doors to the hall opened, but instead of Wanda entering the room it was one of the interns Agatha hadn’t managed to scare away during her early reign of terror. The intern appeared nervous about something, who knows what, and they quickly sought you out.

“Y/N, you have to tell Maestra Harkness that Miss Maximoff won’t be attending rehearsal this evening,” the intern told you, and it looked like they were going to pass out from the fear of having to tell Agatha.

“Wanda’s not coming to rehearsal?” You asked curiously.

The intern quickly nodded. “She’s sick.”

Sick? You had just seen the pianist a couple hours ago and she appeared fine, but maybe she just came down with something. Giving the intern a small smile, you stood up. “I’ll tell Maestra, don’t worry.”

“Thank you,” the intern said sincerely. “I’m pretty sure if I tell her she’ll find a way to fire me.”

The intern hurried back out of the hall and you slowly made your way to the front of the stage, hoping Agatha would call for the orchestra to take a break so you could make your move. With there only being a few rehearsals left until opening night you knew the absence of a soloist would send the conductor over the edge. But hopefully her strong dislike of Wanda would lighten the blow. As if the two of you were telepathically connected, Agatha turned around as you approached the stage and signaled for the orchestra to stop.

“Let’s take ten,” Agatha instructed them. “Have Rachmaninoff ready by the time we come back.”

The musicians all but hurried off the stage, and said hello to the few you had gotten to know over the past few weeks. Darcy caught your eye as she walked down the stairs and motioned her head to where John Walker was standing by his case, rolling her eyes in the process. You swallowed the laughter that threatened to escape as you went to join Agatha on stage. It didn’t take the older woman long to realize something was wrong.

“If you’re going to say I was being too hard on Walker, don’t,” Agatha quietly warned you, and it was apparent she was still fuming.

“I need you to promise me that you’re not going to throw a temper tantrum after I tell you this,” you said, and your tone was light, but Agatha gave you a look.

“I do not throw temper tantrums,” the conductor hissed as you motioned for her to follow you backstage.

“Of course not, Maestra. Your outbursts are completely normal for a woman of your-“ you quickly paused as Agatha arched an eyebrow at you, clearly unamused.

“My what, darling?” Agatha questioned, giving you an unconvincing glare as you laughed.

“Your stature,” you corrected yourself.

“You’re on thin ice,” the conductor warned you. “I’m not sure I like how easily you tease me.”

“Coming from the woman who’s done nothing but tease me since we met I think it’s only fair,” you offered, and Agatha smirked. “But really, please don’t freak out.”

“If you don’t tell me what’s wrong I’ll have no choice but to tie you up and force the words out of you myself,” Agatha mused, causing you to blush, which made her smirk grow wider. “Ah, do you like the sound of that, darling?”

“The rest of the orchestra is only a few feet away,” you warned her as she took a step closer to you. “If our relationship is supposed to stay private wouldn’t it be a bit unwise to...”

“Oh no, dear, don’t stop using your words now,” Agatha practically purred, she closed the distance between you, lightly shoving you against the wall. “We’re just getting started.”

“Agatha, I really think maybe we should do this somewhere-“ you began to say, and you truly had every intention of trying to be the rational one here, but any remaining brain function you had left was erased as Agatha’s lips began trailing up your neck, occasionally stoping to nip at skin. “Agatha...”

“Now, what was it you wanted to tell me?” Agatha whispered against your ear, the warm air of her breath sending tingles down your spine. “Or do I need to encourage you a bit more?”

“I don’t know how you doing this is supposed to encourage me to talk,” you argued, and bit back a moan as the conductor bit down on your earlobe.

“I’m just trying to help, darling,” Agatha insisted, pulling you impossibly closer to her as you were pressed against the wall. “I can help even more if you would like.”

“Wanda’s not coming to rehearsal,” you finally managed to let out with a gasp, and Agatha paused her movements at that.

“Darling, I know I’m a bit distracted but I believe you just said the Sokovian dingbat won’t be at rehearsal,” Agatha said slowly, as if she was trying to wrap her brain around what you just said.

Unwrapping yourself from the conductor, you nodded, trying to gauge her reaction. “She’s sick so she won’t be in attendance today.”

Agatha scoffed, shaking her head at your words. “Wanda Maximoff doesn’t get sick and miss rehearsal. I was-I worked with her long enough to know that.”

“Well that’s what personnel told me, so I’m not sure what to tell you,” you said, and you found yourself stuck on what Agatha had almost said. What wasn’t she telling you?

The conductor took a moment to pull her phone out of her pocket and her frown deepened even more. “Oh for the love of...” Agatha trailed off before whipping her phone against the wall, shattering it in the process.

You jumped at the sound, but Agatha barely seemed to notice you as she was entirely too lost in her thoughts. “Agatha, what’s wrong?”

“Cancel the rest of rehearsal,” Agatha said dismissively as she straightened her sweater. “Those idiots are infuriating me far too much and without Wanda we won’t make any progress on the Rachmaninoff.”

Gaping at her, you took a moment to process what she said. “You’ve never cancelled rehearsal before. Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Now, Y/N. I have something I need to do,” Agatha said before storming out of the room, leaving you alone.

To say the MSO musicians were relieved Agatha had cancelled the remaining two hours of rehearsal would have been a vast understatement. You swore you never saw half of them move so quickly when you gave them the okay to leave. Since Agatha had apparently left for the day, you took the liberty of grabbing her belongings and dropped them off in her office on your way out. It wasn’t out of character for Agatha to lose her temper, you had grown used to her yelling and ranting. But her outburst backstage was unlike anything you had ever seen before. There was something the conductor wasn’t telling you, and while you had no idea what it was there was a sinking feeling in your chest that it had something to do with Wanda. Regardless of how curious, and anxious, you were over Agatha’s abrupt exit, you knew there was no good in worrying. She would tell you what was wrong...right?

It had been two days since you heard from Agatha. You received a call from management personnel early Saturday morning informing you that the conductor had cancelled all weekend rehearsals due to a stomach bug, which made you immediately go to call her until you remembered she left her shattered phone backstage. It wasn’t unusual for you to go a day without hearing from Agatha, the conductor valued her privacy and you respected her enough to give her what she needed. But after the practical smothering you had received from the older woman since the blind audition, it left you with a gut feeling that you had done something wrong.

What were the odds that Agatha was sick mere hours after storming out of rehearsal? They were slim, and it didn’t take a genius to tell you that. You had told Sam and Bucky what happened, and while they thought it was suspicious they also agreed that giving Agatha space would be the smartest move. Rationally speaking you knew that everything was fine, it just would have been nice to have received confirmation from the woman you were worrying so much about.

It had been a long time since you last had a Saturday off, so you spent your weekend watching Disney movies and napping while trying your best to keep your mind off Agatha. In fact you had been so distracted with the radio silence from the conductor that you almost forgot about Natasha Romanov and Vienna. The keyword being almost. You knew you needed to make a decision on if you were going to meet with the violinist, and you needed to make one soon. There was no guarantee Natasha would even choose you for her group, but still you found yourself imagining a world where you were performing in Vienna and finally getting to live your dreams. Only those dreams seemed somewhat bittersweet at the prospect of having them without Agatha. It was cliche being this attached this soon, but you couldn’t help it. You had never felt this strongly for anyone you dated before, there was something so different about Agatha that kept drawing you in.

Would it be fair to her if you moved to another continent when you were just starting your relationship? You knew she was concerned you would leave the Symphony after not getting the chair placement. While she had never directly told you, it was what made the most sense when considering her recent behavior. You didn’t want to leave her, you really didn’t. Agatha had given you so much while asking for nothing in return.

But the voice in your head asked if it was fair for you to stay somewhere you wouldn’t be happy. Would you grow to resent your job, or Agatha by association by remaining on as her assistant? Sam had been right when he said there were other jobs in New York City, but you knew nothing here would compare to the Manhattan Symphony Orchestra. While quitting would allow the two of you to date publicly, maybe, it would also ruin any chance you still had of hoping to join the MSO. Was that something you were willing to sacrifice? You had a lot you needed to consider, you just wished Agatha was there to help you.

Monday morning came far too quickly for your liking. You were anxious to see Agatha, to make sure she was okay, but you also had to make up your mind on whether to meet with Natasha Romanov. Wanda had sent you a polite, but short, email late Sunday night asking if you made a decision or not. You were still just as torn as you had been all weekend, and sadly this was a decision only you could make for yourself. As you exited the coffee shop, you were slightly surprised to see Agatha’s car waiting for you. The rear window was rolled down and Agatha had her gaze fixated on yours. Giving her a small smile, you approached the car while balancing both coffees.

“Good morning Maestra. Fancy seeing you here.”

Agatha rolled her eyes before helping open the door. “Yes yes, good morning dear. Please hurry up and get in before I have Hank leave without you.”

“You’re in a mood today,” you said lightly after making yourself comfortable in the vehicle. “Rough weekend?”

Agatha grimaced at your choice of words before shrugging. “Oh it was fine. A lot better since I didn’t have to hear those morons butcher Dvorak on Saturday.”

You gave her a look as you motioned to your coffee. “Oh right, your stomach bug? Maybe this won’t sit well then, should I give it to Hank?”

The conductor all but snatched the coffee out of your hands, glaring at you. “Funny, as always darling. I’m feeling much better now.”

So she was sticking with the sick story. As much as you wanted to press and find out why she stormed out of rehearsal so suddenly, you thought it best to not start a possible argument this early in the morning. Besides, Agatha wouldn’t lie to you, right?

You decided to take the safe approach. “Well I should probably keep my distance in case you’re still contagious. Wouldn’t want to catch anything.”

“If that’s what you think best, dear,” Agatha replied. “I would hate to get you sick.”

That’s how things remained the rest of the day. Agatha was clearly not over whatever upset her on Friday, and it appeared she wasn’t willing to share her troubles with you. So you did what you did best, and ignored the persistent voice begging you to talk to her. You busied yourself with various tasks both in and out of the conductor’s office. Opening night was in two weeks and there was much to do still. Even though Agatha had promised to be nicer to the interns, it appeared her generosity had run out as you began counting the number of crying individuals sent running from her office since lunch. Her mood was only growing more and more unstable as the hours passed, and even you found being in her company to be slightly unbearable. Agatha was clearly stressed, and you understood she was under a lot of pressure, you just wish she thought of healthier outlets to relieve it.

Towards the end of the day you received yet another polite, yet persistent email from Wanda and you knew the time had come. On one hand you wanted to ask Agatha’s opinion on the potential job, for you valued her opinion over anyone else’s. But the fear of a fight, especially over something involving Wanda, was enough to make you realize now was not the right time to bring up a potential move to Vienna. Plus you were only meeting with Natasha, it wasn’t like she was going to offer you a job on sight. There would be little to no harm in setting up a meeting. Then you could talk to Agatha.

Satisfied with your decision, you sent a quick reply to Wanda stating you would be interested in meeting with Natasha before heading back to Agatha’s office. Hopefully the conductor had enough time to cool down to consider leaving work within the next few hours. However, when you opened the door you were surprised to find her hunched over her desk, eyes locked on her laptop. She didn’t appear to hear you enter, and a part of you wondered if you should leave and come back later. Ultimately deciding that you would stay, you lightly knocked on the door to attempt to draw her attention away from the screen. It worked, only when she finally looked at you, you saw something unfamiliar in her eyes. Fear.

“Y/N...” Agatha trailed off, and you could practically see the frown lines become embedded in her skin.

“Agatha?” You barely recognized the sound of your own voice as you approached the conductor. “What’s wrong?”

Before the conductor could reply, your phone began to repeatedly ding. Pulling it out of your pocket you felt your heart sink at the notification. You had several texts from Sam, Bucky, Monica, even Darcy, but what caught your eye was an article from The New York Times.

‘Agatha All Along? An Inside Scoop to the Alleged Affair Between MSO Conductor Agatha Harkness and Concert Pianist Wanda Maximoff’

[y0itsbri]

Hi Bri 🥰

C-16 if you'd like to 👀

Coffee dates and disasters

au with college!lip and barista!mandy where ian is a frequent visitor at the campus café and meets mickey under rather unfortunate circumstances. don't cry over spilled milk, buddy.

which also fits under a.u.gust for @gallavichthings

words: 2.4k

"never would have thought you the type to come to one of these places," ian mused, looking around the small café with only lamps and string lights illuminating the space. "can't believe college changed you, man," ian clutched at his heart dramatically.

"don't worry. 'm still the annoying bastard you love so dearly," lip squeezed ian's shoulder before he sauntered up to the counter.

the barista's bored expressed brightened when she saw them. her perky demeanor was matched by a high pitched voice, "hey lip," she smiled, dark lipstick striking. she appraised ian with a somewhat predatory eye, "hello, lip's friend."

"uh, brother," ian coughed.

lip rolled his eyes, "and he's gay so don't even try it, mandy."

she pouted and flicked her hair behind her shoulder, "not that it's any of your business, anyways."

ian chuckled besides him, drawing another smile out of mandy, this one kinder, sweeter.

"what can i get you boys?"

the pink highlights glistened in her dark hair as she whipped up lip's cold brew and ian's caramel macchiato, then proceeded to insist that this one is on the house. neither of them argued, but thanked her before they settled down in some stools by the window.

"fucking the barista privileges?" ian asked, raising his eyebrow at his slut of a brother.

"i think of it more like fellow south sider charity," he rubbed his bottom lip, "but yours works too," lip smirked around the edges of his coffee cup.

"you're an idiot."

"can a man who got us free drinks really be deemed an idiot?" lip philosophized.

ian paused, taking a moment of thorough consideration. he looked lip straight in the eyes as he answered, "if that man is you, then without a doubt."

lip tried to knock ian's cup out of his hand, but failed at his attempt. ian thanked his well-practiced jrotc skills and a lifetime experience of growing up in a house packed with annoying siblings for his victory.

they chatted about the robotics classes lip was taking, how he got full-time access to one of the labs, and his weird ass roommate who may or may not be gay if ian is at all interested. ian scrunched up his face. after hearing so many horror stories about the guy, ian didn't want anywhere near him. he wasn't that desperate yet.

the second that lip was out of his seat and heading to the bathroom, the beautiful mess that was mandy descended.

"hiiii lip's gay brother," she leaned against the table.

"it's ian," he spun his empty cup in his hands. he couldn't help himself from smiling at her charisma.

"well hi, ian, i just wanted to say sorry if i spooked you earlier. i just had no idea lip's brother would be so cute!"

"his ugly mug's not too hard to beat." ian laughed. "he got the short end of the gallagher stick, literally."

"cute and charming. you're funny, ian gallagher, i like you." she placed her hand on his shoulder for a moment, a movement so soft compared to her rather frantic appearance. "come back here anytime and it's on the house, yeah? i work most evenings after three."

"oh. uh- okay," ian scrambled for words, "thanks."

she squeezed his shoulder once before lip returned with a rather obnoxious entrance.

"ayo mands, stop harassing him!"

ian ducked his head in embarrassment.

"oh, shut up! i'm just clearing your cups," she winked at ian as she left.

mandy was something else. but she was kind and good company. ian could get used to the chill atmosphere over the chaos of the gallagher house anytime. he might just take up her offer.

--

"you'd think with all the time you spend here, you'd be offered a scholarship or something by now." mandy sipped on her chocolate frappuccino as she laid her feet across ian's lap. he always made sure to come visit during her breaks at least twice a week during the past couple months.

ian shrugged, "guess they only had room for one gallagher."

mandy hit his arm in a way that hurt. lip was fucked if he ever broke her heart.

"does fiona even know that this is where you sneak off to?"

"yeah." mandy's look said she didn't believe him. "well, kinda. she thinks i'm visiting lip, brotherly duties and all."

"yeah? how are those brotherly duties?"

"fuck if i know."

she laughed.

"i still think you should apply here for next fall," she encouraged, "could take some art classes."

"i suck at art."

"chemistry?"

"failed that."

"business?"

"yeah, no thanks."

mandy flipped him off, "fine. botany?

"ya know what? sure." he had always wanted to grow tomatoes.

"really?!"

"heart wants what it wants, mandy. we can't all be psychology brainiacs."

"brains and beauty, what can i say?" she teased. ian laughed, eyes glistening towards his friend. mandy made things better.

"hey," she continued, "there's this concert on the main campus lawn this weekend, you should totally come!"

"isn't that just for students?"

"they don't card, dummy."

"right, right, i knew that."

"sureeee. you in?"

ian mentally checked his work schedule.

"i'm in."

--

lip and ian strolled into the café a few days later. okay, maybe ian had felt a bit guilty for abandoning his brotherly duties lately, but at least this way he could hang out with both his best friends. well he could have if he remembered the fact that mandy had the day off for her behavioral neuroscience midterm. they had literally spent her previous shift reviewing the terms, he should have known.

ian's couldn't help his face from falling as another blonde barista took their orders, mostly eyeing lip the whole time.

"hi lip," she smiled a little too sincerely, "what can i get for you today?"

ian had ordered something new at the recommendation of the blonde and he was not a fan. and to make matters worse, he had to actually pay for the atrocity that he wouldn't even be able to finish.

"so how's your little coffee dates with mandy?" lip asked over his cup.

ian nearly choked on his god-awful americano. "how'd you know?"

"please. she's obsessed with you. every time i see her, it's 'ian this,' 'ian that,' 'ian might apply here in next year.'"

"oh."

"yeah, oh. when were you gonna tell me?!"

“it’s all mandy’s idea, i’m not even sure i want to,” ian muttered, refusing to make eye contact.

“dude, i’ve literally shared a room with you since the day you popped out of monica’s wretched womb, you think I can’t tell when you’re lying?”

okay maybe ian had been getting increasingly more excited about the idea of attending school and actually learning things that he wants to learn. something that might actually lead him somewhere real since rotc was looking more and more like a poor man's fantasy the more that he thought about it.

“I was gonna tell you, swear on it.” and he was. once he convinced himself that lip wasn't going to straight up laugh in his face. but the look in his eye seemed genuinely supportive.

“mhm, i gotta catch my english lit class," lip stood up, swinging his tattered tan backpack across one shoulder. he patted ian's shoulder in his big brother ways, "don’t be a stranger, yeah?”

“yeah, yeah for sure! have fun learning a language you already know!” lip flipped him off at his smartass remark.

soon after, ian stood up to return his drink to the counter, the anxiety from the conversation making him entirely lose whatever appetite he might have had. plus, it wasn’t the same here without lip or mandy. he just wanted to be wrapped up in a cocoon in his own bed. but that was so far away. maybe he could catch an early ride—

thump.

ian crashed into a guy’s sturdy body.

the remnants of his shitty drink spilled in an americano nightmare over both of them, ceramic pieces shattering on the floor in a truly horrific manner.

ian yipped and the other man let out a grunt of irritation.

they were fucking soaked. well, at least the coffee wasn't hot? ian tried justifying the situation, but, nah, this was bad.

"shit! i'm so sorry, lemme," ian reached out and the shorter man flinched away.

they were now far enough apart that ian got a good look at him. a leather jacket.. now covered in ian's drink -- shit. and shockingly piercing blue eyes that lingered too long on ian's before his cheeks turned a shade of pink that made ian's stomach flutter.

he might have seemed cold if he didn’t make ian feel so warm.

"it’s cool, man. i gotta go, uh," and he walked out of the café without looking back.

fuck.

ian smelled like coffee the entire train ride to the back of the yards. he laid in his bed regretting his entire life.

no mandy. no lip. no dignity.

--

the day of the concert that mandy had invited him to rolled around. ian wouldn’t admit it, but he was nervous to spend a coffee-less evening with mandy, their entire friendship built inside that one room. his little bubble of safety was bursting.

well, to be honest, the bubble had burst the moment that his disaster of a coffee was spilled onto one of the most ridiculously pretty guys that he's ever seen. every time he closed his eyes, he remembered the guy’s face shift from hostile to something else. he was torn between wanting to know the his name and also on never seeing him again in fear that he would simply pass away of embarrassment.

hopefully mandy hadn't heard about it. they may not have been friends for a long time, but he already knew that she would never let him live it down.

"hey ian!" her familiar voice called. that sounded promising.

his face fell with relief as he finally spotted her at the corner. she embraced him in a warm hug before pulling back and giving him a once over.

"huh, could have sworn you'd still have coffee behind your ear or something after the description karen gave me of your little disaster the other day." she smirked, quite literally double checking behind his ears as they turned hot under her gaze.

"ugh, fuck, how much did she tell you?" he itched his forehead and scrunched up his nose.

"oh, calm your tits, it's funny as fuck." she giggled, punching his arm in a way that still unintentionally hurt.

"whatever. are you excited for the concert tonight?"

their reunion conversation lulled eventually, and ian noticed that they weren't necessarily standing alone.

no. fucking. way.

just his luck, if he was being honest. he probably deserved this.

there he stood. the man that has plagued his dreams the past few days. in a light wash jean jacket that was a little tight on the biceps, leaning casually against the wall, kicking the pebbles on the ground with his boot.

"uh, what's he doing here?" ian gestured towards the victim of The Coffee Incident.

“what, you know him?” mandy asked, walking them towards him.

“vaguely.” if that wasn’t the understatement of the year.

"huh. i didn’t think my idiot brother had any friends."

brother? how did ian not realize she had a brother?

"what, did you think i was going to babysit you all night? i can't let everyone here thinking you're my boyfriend, no offense or whatever, but you're in good hands!" she kissed his cheek, clearly not helping her own not-looking-like-her-boyfriend rule.

ian eyed said brother's good hands only to see the faded letters of FUCK U-UP on them. oh.

mandy pushed ian over to her brother, "ian, mickey. mickey, ian," she introduced before pushing and shuffling her way through the crowd of college students to find herself someone’s cheap ass fruity alcohol to mooch off of.

mickey. ian's brain repeated over and over, a chime against the murmuring sea of voices they found themselves enveloped by.

"nice jacket," ian pointed out, an awkward attempt to converse before shoving his hands back in his pockets.

"it's my second favorite." the corners of his mouth lifted like there was more to the statement. ian took the bait, as if he could resist.

"what's your first?"

"first is still airing out the fuckin’ coffee smell," he smirked as ian groaned. "oh c’mon, man, don't go crying over spilled milk."

how could he not? on the bright side, he didn’t seemed to hate ian for it.

“if it was anyone else,” mickey drawled, “they’d have to get a beat down for it.”

“why do I get a free pass?” ian mused.

“well, you’re mandy’s friend, right?”

“yup,” ian tried to suppress his disappointment. he really did. but fiona always told him he wore his heart on his sleeve.

“yeah, that ain’t why, though,” his eyebrows waggled suggestively and ian nearly felt his heart drop out of his ass.

ian blessed whatever coffee god was out there for sending him both mandy and the beautiful man in front of him.

“you wanna go listen to the band?” ian nodded his head towards the stage with passionate players jumping around like they were playing lollapalooza or some shit.

“lead the way, stud, just try to keep your drinks off of me this time,” mickey knocked into ian’s own flannel covered shoulder.

yeah, ian couldn’t believe his luck. maybe karma was finally on his side.

—

mandy smirked at her brother and best friend not-so-subtly checking each other out over the course of the night, bopping their heads to the music and downing whatever free booze they could get their hands on.

she hoped that adding mickey to the equation would be enough incentive to convince ian to stick around. things were better when he was near.

the way that ian followed mickey around like a lost puppy with that dopey moon-eyed look, it seemed like her hopes would come true.

and when both ian and mickey strolled into the café to come visit her at work the next week, mickey in his worse-for-wear leather jacket and ian in borrowed denim, she thanks the coffee gods for her luck.

[actualhumancryptid]

I decided to start another rewatch of The Wire in the first time in forever. And you know, while watching it I immediately thought of Succession. That’s probably mostly because Succession is fresh in my mind. The two shows are not exactly that similar tonally. Although. They are both nihilistic, dark and occasionally funny. And they do have narrative parallels. The first season of the Wire centres around a violent crime syndicate running Baltimore, with some focus on the dynamic between a powerful patriarch and his more sensitive nephew who works below him. I knew there was something about Kendall Roy that felt familiar to me, (beyond the obvious Shakespearean comparisons). D’Angelo Barksdale is a tragic figure in The Wire. He’s likely been written about to death, there’s so much to say. But something in Lawrence Gilliard Jr’s performance, the vulnerability of it, reminds me of the choices Jeremy Strong makes when he plays Kendall, also as a tragic figure. Like Kendall, D is someone whose very nature is at odds with the brutality required of him to play the game and maintain his family’s considerable power. Hell, brutality and ruthlessness are required in order for D to be part of his family and to be the man they want him to be. The flavour of brutality required of them varies slightly between The Wire and Succession, but morally I’d argue it’s not as much as you’d think. Both D and Ken are complicit in a system that profoundly hurts people for financial gain, and the corruption in the systems they’re part of is a feature and not a bug. Both of them have gotten away with murder, but at least D was working when he committed his and not just fucking around. Wasn’t less of a stupid murder, though.

The Roys’ syndicate is probably worse for humanity in the long run. I’d also argue that D is actually a better person than Kendall, all things considered. It’s all about context, and within the context of The Wire his decision to not play the game is suicidal (and I know there are Kendall parallels in that but they play out differently). How much of that can be down to D’s moral character is anyone’s guess, because when he’s dead there’s no more story. Like D, Kendall was also pushed to take the fall for a corrupt, violent syndicate not entirely of his making. But unlike D, he doesn’t go to prison in the end. And the show emphasises how little Ken’s choice to go against his father has to do with his moral compass. Kendall also has white privilege and a bunch of other factors going for him, which make his power, position and choices a different kind of conversation. Really, the Roys are beyond the law in a way that the Barksdales could never truly achieve. Because the Roys are legit. They get away with everything in plain sight and people in considerable positions of power fawn over them. Stringer Bell would utterly salivate over their position.

Anyway The Wire is still a great twisted morality tale. The end.