#and its exhausting managing everything to make things easier too. so im basically tired no matter what

[c-kiddo]

u_u caduceus clay u are disabled

[freeshephoun]

please please please tell your adrian headcanons im so curious!!!!! and also maybe gordon and barney if you like :]

oh boy this is gonna be a lot. apologies for any misstypes in advance!!

click to read my thoughts on the 3

okay ffirst off shephard! shes tfem which is why i will be using she/her for her. also ahes filipino-american. shephard is autistic and mute and struggles to understand the people around her sometimes. it makes her upset when she doesnt.

its a reason why she is better with aliens. they dont work like humans do and it is easier for her to connect with them even when they dont speak the same language. and the bond she has especially with spore launcher is indescribable.

spore launcher (or spore for short) is a creature she found in the black mesa facility. its an alien that, when you feed it something, it can spit it out and it works basically like a grenade launcher. at first shephard had no idea what to do with that thing. he gave it a little pat on the head and it chirped and since then theyve been best friends. you can not tear them apart.

shephard has a lot of little cat scrstches feom spores spikey exterior aswell as some acid burns here and there. it comes free with having an alien friend/pet.

Shephard also managed to get spore into stasis. everything else was taken but she could keep spore. also coming to stasis ive got some thoughts on it.

while gordon was basically in a coma in stasis, Shephard wasnt. she didnt even have a choice what to do. she was just taken and detained. and since she was detained, gman didnt put her to sleep. shephard has been in that osprey for all this time. awake. if it werent for spore she would've probably gone insane.

being in stasis also fucked up her feeling of like everything. ypu dont get tired, exhausted, hungry or thirsty. you cant even feel pain or die.

(cw sensitive topic, bit similar to sh) in an attempt to feel anything she sometimes did some stupid shit. mostly punching or slamming her body against walls or purposefully touching spores acid. that reeeeally fucked up her perception of pain and her tolerance and it still shows afterwards. (cw end)

outside of stasis she still struggles with the perception of pain. it is pretty dangerous and she basically relies on gordon or barney to tell her hey you got fucked up bad we should get you first aid.

and sometimes when she sees it she spirals down into this specific feeling where everything feels like stasis again. when was the last time she ate? why does it feel so alone again why is it so quiet? why is akl she can hear her own mind?

shes going thru it🔥🔥

jumping a bit shephard doesnt like physical touch. shes very sensitive to it and gets overwhelemed by too much physical touch. her lovd languages are acts of service. she isnt good at comforting someone or showing her care for someone so openly. its more that she guards you when around you. makes sure youre safe. you need a moment of alone time? she will make sure no one bothers you.

my friend wrote a scene that describes it perfectly so ill quote it: "In the distance, the parade could be heard. At the entrance of the alleyway, Shephard seemed to stand guard, occasionally looking back at them as the parade passed by."

for tthe other 2 and their love languages: barney is the physical affection guy. giving and receiving. hes also good at comforting people just by being there. gordon on the other hand is good with giving words of affirmation. its his love language. and on the receiving is quality time (shephard too i forgot to mention)

they are very dear 2 me.

also their fighting styles. ive thought of it before and how it differs. gordon thinks, finds an answer that works and then executes it. shephard thinks a little but she mostly just acts on instinct. and barney? hes jus tlike yeah no thinking is for nerds watch me solo this guy. hes silly like that

my friend (again) made smthg that portrays this very well: "Gordon would calculate the triangulation before he threw a grenade over a wall. Shephard would stand on a box so she could throw it over the wall without hassle. Barney would just lob it and pray"

gordon is a very sarcastic man. barney understands his saecasm oerfectly but shephard struggles to do so which is why gordon avoids sarcasm around her.

shep and barney on occasions have their 5 minutes. kind of like zoomies. it usually ends in chaos because they tried something stupid again. which is why gordon rarely allows them in his lab. actually never. but barney will still come down when it gets late and gordon hasnt even been up to eat something and basically force gordon to stop for the day.

how? he just scoops gordon up and carries him out. batney is a security guard who survived the resonance cascade, the 7 hour war, manages to get through as underciver civil service despite the hard security measures of fhe combine aswell as fighting agains the combine and staying alive for all these years. that man is strong.

he wwouldnt mamage to carry both gordon and shephard though. thats what shep does. she carries them both with one arm.

this also reminds me shephard needs a routine. she can not do without one. you will see her follow the military training camp routine eeveryday. if she doesnt do it it messes up her whole day.

also wwhile i will draw them a lot probably in their hl clothes and not hl2 clothes, if thes would have ever met its definitely in hl2 or after. i jsut dont like drawing barneys combine outfit thats why.

Shephard was thrown into the hl2 universe by gman. maybe ill even incorporate return 2 ravenholm im this if i ever elaborate on that more. she builds up her own wa yof living there. the camera drones dont manage ti actually detect her due to her gas mask. they detect humans by having a face and if they don't? thats not a human then. she doesnt know that though.

she made herself st home in an outpost outside of city 17. it used to belong to the residtance but got raided by thr combine and has since then become abandoned. at ome point shephard manages to boot up the equipment there. she gains access to a lot of old information that was stored in this outpost.

the resistance of cours enotices shit wait an old outpost was activated again whats going on there. they send a group of people to investigate but urrm uh yeah didnt work out. shephard had a little ace up her sleeve (spore and her acid). but eith that they hope to confirm it is at least not the combine because they have never used that alien species as it completely ceased to exist after the black mesa incident.

im not too sure abt thid though the way this goes might change very well depending om what i feel like.

anyway uuh sheohard goes into the city to restock some supplies. she has some good connections at this point and has heard from the resistance. and well when she goes there to restock she meets barney.

this is btw like a place where they help out citizens who are struggling, often wanted by the combine. they live off donations, mostly coming from the resistance themself.

when barney sees shephard, this guy in a fucking military uniform hes just like. boy you coming with me now. and drags her to the resistance thingy there.

or something like that. not too sure about that at all. again might change however i feel like it

also i definetly forgot a ton of things but ive been writing this for 1 1/2 hours now. if you want to know more about specific things feel free 2 aks i LOVE sharing my freeshephoun thoughts with people

also as a treat here i drew them as the power piff girls once

[be-the-spark-flyboy]

Could Use Some Love

Call It What You Want (2/?)

Series masterlist

Pairing: Med student!Poe x Reader (college AU)

A/N: This got wayyyy out of hand, and i apologize for nothing. Also this took so long cos i came up with a plot, hated it, then changed the whole plot, hated it again and now i have no plot and im just gonna see where this takes me :( what is canon I don’t her

Chapter summary: Due a broken heater situation, you end up crashing at Rey, Finn and Poe’s residence.

Word count: ~2.7k

You’ve been having an absolutely horrible week. And it is Wednesday. Work had been piling up in your internship firm, as well as in college. You’d barely slept for a total of 3 hours in the last two days and needless to say, you were totally exhausted. You had barely gotten back from work when your supervisor had called you to dump more work on you. 

Great, another sleepless night.

Your tiny apartment was eerily quiet without your roommate Jessika. She told you she was staying over at her boyfriend's place for the night. It wasn’t the first time it had happened but, you hated staying alone in your apartment, especially at night.

The snow falling outside and the temperature rapidly falling in your own house did nothing to improve your mood. You pulled you knitted blanket tighter around yourself as another shiver racked through your body from the cold. Was the heater even working? It had been giving you problems for some time now, you were pretty sure it was already working way past its expectancy. You made a mental note to talk to your landlord about it, turning your attention back to your work.

Minutes pass and it only gets colder. Now it got to the point you couldn’t put your feet on the ground without recoiling. It wasn’t a good sign at all. You reach for your fuzzy slippers and pad across the room, still in your blanket, to the thermostat.

The thermostat display was working fine, but it seemed the heater wasn’t. After several minutes of walking back and forth to the heater and thermostat and several google searches later, you come to the conclusion that your heater was broken. And there was nothing you could do about it at this hour.

Your eyes well up from the frustration, a few tears falling. You try taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself, but the cold air only stings your lungs, reminding you of your predicament, mocking you. You go back to the couch, sitting cross-legged and rocking back and forth as you mind reels.

It was too cold for you to spend the night without a working heater. It was times like this that makes you want to smack yourself for not being able to make more friends. All you have is Jessika, who won’t be able to help you out right now, and Rey, who stayed with Finn and Poe in an apartment just nearby. You could ask Rey if you can crash on her couch for the night, but you felt like you were bothering her.

You had never been over to their place, despite knowing them for months now. Finn and Rey had invited you over a few times before but you always had some excuse to not go. You just weren’t that great with people, even if it was people you knew and care about. 

You honestly didn’t know why Rey tried so hard to stick around you. You never made it very easy for anyone to be your friend. Your naturally aloof nature had made sure of it. Jessika has been the only one who had stuck around since middle school, and when both of you ended up in the same college, you jumped at the chance to room with your best friend.

You rub your eyes, picking up your phone. The time shows 1 am as your finger hovers above the call button on Rey’s contact. Just do it you have no choice, you try to convince yourself as you hit the call button.

---

The doorbell rings you stuff a few extra clothing and your laptop in a bag, just as Rey had instructed. You go to open the door, wrapped up in an overcoat, and hoping you don’t look as much of a mess as you feel. But Finn catches sight of your puffy red-rimmed eyes and immediately pulls you into a hug. The warmth is welcoming after feeling cold for so long, and you gladly fall into the embrace.

Thankfully Rey was still awake when you called. The second she had picked up the phone, the tears started flowing freely as the stress of the whole week hit you at once. She had managed to calm you down until you sounded coherent enough to tell her what your problem was. Both Rey and Finn were both willing to let you take up the guestroom in their apartment for as long as you needed. Rey told you she was picking you up and Finn had insisted he come along since it wasn’t safe for the two of you to be alone in this weather. They had basically shut down any apologies you sent their way, insisting it wasn’t any trouble for them. 

“Rey’s waiting in the car,” Finn informs you. You sling your bag onto your shoulder. “You good to go?”

--- 

The first thing you noticed when you stepped into the ridiculously large living room, was the cityscape. Tiny lights twinkling in buildings as the snow fell, softer than feathers. It looked like a scene from the movies. 

You can’t help the woah that you breathe out at the sight before you. You’re aware of exactly how stupid you look standing there, mouth agape, but you can’t help it. The entire apartment looks gorgeous.

Rey giggles at your expression, dragging you along to the guest bedroom. Which, unsurprisingly, is almost as big as your entire apartment. Settling your things on the table, Rey sits on the bed, gesturing for you to take a seat as well.

“You better now?” She asks flinging an arm around your shoulder. “You can stay here as long as you like, don’t worry I’m not expecting you to pay me or anything.” She jokes. “You know you can ask me if you need anything, right?”

It’s an effort not to start sobbing at her kind words. You lean your head against her shoulder. “You’re too nice to me Rey, not everyone would do this for anyone.”

Rey chuckles, “Firstly, you’re not just anyone, you’re one of us now,” she pulls back, holding your face in her hands. “And secondly, you would do the exact same thing if our positions were reversed.” You just nod, too dumb to say anything.

“Finn and Poe stay upstairs. I haven’t Poe since morning, he locked himself in his room, studying for some test I think,” she engulfs you in a bear hug before getting up. “Just knock on my door if you need anything, I’m right next door. And there are some snacks in the kitchen if you’re hungry. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

---

It is 3 am and Poe, utterly exhausted after an entire day of cramming for his hematology test which was probably still going to kick his ass, finally pulls his headphones off his ears. He thinks he surely looks as tired as he feels. The whole room is a mess of books, notes and granola bar wrappers strewn around, an empty coffee pot and mug on the table. He tells himself he’d clean it up tomorrow, after getting some sleep and food in his system. His stomach growls, reminding him of his hunger again and he collects the coffee pot and the wrappers and sets off to the kitchen to get something to eat before heading to bed.

His phone lays forgotten on his bedside table. He doesn’t feel like picking it up, already anticipating the number of missed texts and calls he would've received from his girlfriend. Studying medicine was hard work and time-consuming. It was easier to just pretend like his phone didn’t exist sometimes rather than try to explain to Sarah why he needed the whole day to study. He’d deal with her wrath later.

Poe sighs heavily treading down the staircase. The living room is dark and empty as expected, but there’s light coming from the kitchen. A small part of him couldn’t help but feel thankful for that. He wasn’t scared of the dark per se, but the recent horror movie had led him to question some of his life decisions. Like whether it was worth being friends with Finn and Rey. He probably would’ve walked out of the theater within less than an hour if you weren’t there, holding his hand. The memory brings a smile to his face.

Imagine his surprise when he sees you. He expected to see Finn or Rey at the kitchen, but there you are sitting at the dining table, a frown on your face as you click away at your laptop.

Was he hallucinating?

—-

You are sitting cross-legged on one of the dining table chairs. Your laptop sat on the table, alongside a few detail plans spread out, as you edit your drawings. The table in the guest room wasn’t big enough to fit the large plan drawings. So you had moved to the dining table since everyone had already gone to sleep. 

You feel like you have stepped into an alternate universe where everything feels new to you. The view of the city through the full height glass window was just so breathtaking, but the large living room only feels emptier and somehow colder than your small apartment, even with a working heater. Regardless, you slowly slip into your own rhythm getting more accustomed to the almost eerie silence.

You startle when Poe calls out your name. “What are you doing here?” You look up and oh god he looks adorable. His hair is tousled and he pushes a few curls back from his face trying to tame it. He’s smiling at you, brown eyes sparkling, and it makes you feel all soft and warm inside and- and he just asked you a question. And you are just staring at him like a creep instead of answering.

“Oh, hey Poe!” You try not to cringe at yourself, hoping he hadn’t noticed you staring. Poe grimaces when you explain your whole heater situation to him.

“Well, I hope you’re comfortable,” he says. “Don’t mind me, I’ll be back in my room soon enough,” he smiles again, moving to walk past you. You hear him rummaging around in the kitchen for a few moments.

You mentally slap yourself, feeling like such an asshole. He has a girlfriend, for god’s sake. No matter how much Finn and Rey seemed to hate his girlfriend, you still feel guilty for thinking of Poe as anything other than a friend. You cuddled him in a movie theater, christ. You resist the urge to slap yourself on your forehead. What were you thinking?

For someone who just said ‘don’t mind me’, he makes it pretty hard to ignore his presence. He is back at the table and takes a seat, curiously frowning at the plan laid out before you. His cereal bowl is on the table before him, carefully placed away from the papers you had spread out. You continue your work, trying not to get too distracted by the man beside you. 

“What are you doing?” Poe asks you. So you explain to him the long-winded process of the schematic drawing before you and how you need to add in the changes marked out to the 3D model in your laptop. You’re pretty sure you are rambling halfway through it, but Poe seemed to be interested enough, occasionally asking you more questions here and there. Explaining your work becomes complaining about it and soon you find yourself exchanging internship horror stories with him.

Halfway through your conversation, you hear a patter of tiny footsteps and the cutest corgi you’ve ever seen emerges from the hall. Poe immediately perks up at its arrival scooping the ecstatic canine into his arms. “Buddy! Why aren’t you sleeping?” The corgi paws at his shirt, barking and licking his face. Poe laughs, scratching its fur, “I missed you too, buddy.” You can’t take your eyes off the scene unfolding before you, heart swelling at the interaction, you’re sure you’re making heart eyes at them.

Once the corgi calms down enough for Poe to comfortably hold it in his arms, he turns his attention back to you. “This is Beebee,” he introduces his corgi to you, “My son,” You laugh and Beebee tilts his head inquisitively, looking up at you with his sparkling brown eyes. Like father like son, you think.

The bowl of cereal lays forgotten on the table as the two of you continue chatting. Well, he does most of the talking as you continued on with your work, your attention mostly focused on Poe regardless. He absentmindedly pets Beebee, who is now dozing off on his lap.

“He’s a big baby, can’t live alone. Honestly, I think anyone would go insane if they lived here alone,” Poe concludes his story of how Finn had practically begged him and Rey to come to live with him. Poe is your senior by two years and had been staying in a dorm before Finn started college.

“Big baby huh? Says the one who can’t watch a demon on a screen without looking like he’s going to cry,” you snicker, bumping his shoulder with yours.

“They’re just really scary okay? I don’t how you can sleep after watching things like that,”. He grimaces, holding Beebee closer. “Great, now I’m thinking about demons,”

“Oh no! Quick, think about something else,”

“About what? Ask me something,”

“Um... okay, how did you meet Finn and Rey?” you ask him.

“Oh that’s a long story,” and so he begins the tale of how both his parents, Shara Bey and Kes, were in the Air Force where they met and fell in love and-

“Wait, are you giving me your entire biography?” You interrupt him.

“No no, it’s relevant, trust me,” he assures you before continuing. Queue the entrance of a new character named Han, who was their best friend and was married to Leia Organa, who would become his godmother-

“Wait, Leia Organa?” You gasp, “Senator Organa is your godmother?”

“Great so you’ve heard of her-” you don’t even let him finish his sentence again.

“Heard of her? I've been a huge fan since the time she crushed the Vader dude during that debate,” he chuckles before continuing.

The story takes a somber turn when he tells you that his mother passed away due to an illness when he was 8 years old. He quickly skims over that part before telling you about going to live with his godmother in an obscenely rich neighborhood, since his father was away too much due to his work. Leia’s son Ben, apparently, was the resident asshole of the place, who hated Poe for reasons unknown to him. So Poe had resorted to making friends with the two younger children living across the house instead.

It’s an endearing story, which could’ve been told with lesser detail, in half the time. But you would be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy listening to him talk.

It’s a miracle that you are almost done with your work. Its almost 4.30 am and it occurs to you that you’ve been keeping Poe for quite some time. You see him trying to stifle a yawn in between words as he tries to narrate the story of how Finn had broken his arm trying to sneak out of the house in the middle of the night. 

“Poe, don’t you have classes in the morning? Don’t you need to sleep?”

Poe feigns offense, “Am I boring you?”

“No,” you laughed. “I stay up all alone sometimes, and it gets very lonely, so thank you for keeping me company.” You answer sincerely. You are pretty sure Poe is beaming, but that could also be the side effect of not getting much sleep for days. Well at least you can sleep in tomorrow, and the guestroom bed looked really inviting. “But, you also really need to sleep,” 

“Well my classes only start after lunch tomorrow- I mean today, so I still have time to sleep,” he stifles another yawn with the back of his hand. “Actually, you’re right, I need to sleep,”

BB8 is asleep, snoring lightly on his lap when he finally relents. He scoops up the corgi in one hand and the mostly empty bowl of soggy cereal on the other, dropping it in the kitchen sink.

“Good night, or is it morning already?” He flashes you a grin that makes your insides flutter.

You chuckled, “See you later, Poe,”

You’re so fucked.

---

The Dameron taglist (open):

@writefightandflightclub​ @arkofblake​ @yougottakeeponkeepinon​ @multifandomlife22​ @skymerons​ @smol-peter-parker​ @rae-rae-patcha​ @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol​ @spider-starry​ @hkmultifandom​

[the--blackdahlia]

This Life Chapter 16

Title: This Life Chapter 16

Summary:  Dean Winchester is the Vice President of the motorcycle club The Hunters. After almost 7 years in prison, he's free. But things have changed and Dean has to figure out how to put things back together.

Warnings: Language, mentions of drug use, this chapter is pretty sad

AN: Thank you to the lovely @sams-serialkiller-fetish .  The song for this chapter is Come Join the Murder by The White Buffalo & The Forest Rangers

Sam was curled up in the passenger seat of Baby as Dean drove them back to Wolfpine. He had his arm cradled against him and his eyes were closed. Dean kept casting glances over at him. The kid had worked himself up the minute Ellen stepped out of the truck and asked where Benny was. Jim had forced him to take a couple pills from the med kit that Bobby kept in the truck and before Dean knew it, his not so little, little brother was snoring softly beside him in the Impala.

Dean was exhausted. He couldn’t wait to get back to Wolfpine and collapse onto his bed. And he had the pull out couch for Sam to sleep on for the night. Unless he decided that they needed to spend the night in John’s old house. But Dean didn’t think it was a very good idea. Plus, they had the Wayward Sons following them to Wolfpine to think of a plan in case the remaining Horsemen decided to retaliate for Azazel’s death.

Bobby had called in some favors with a couple sheriff’s who owed him a thing or two. Benny’s body would be returned home, and the bodies of Azazel and the henchmen would be dealt with. Jody assured Bobby of that. Bobby could focus then on putting Benny to rest. His dad was currently drinking his way through Atlantic City, and his mom was on her honeymoon with her new husband in Europe. Bobby doubted that either would be there to say goodbye to their son.

And then there was Sam. That kid had been through more trauma in the past year than any of them had. He had watched as a fire destroyed everything, he watched his dad shot in the chest and was left for dead, and then he was chained up to watch as a man who was like a brother to him was shot in the head and killed. Bobby didn’t know about what Azazel had told Sam, and neither did Dean. Bobby didn’t know about Sam’s downward spiral into depression that John managed to pull him out of. Dean was afraid it was going to happen again.

“Sammy.” Dean said gently when he parked Baby in Winchester-Singer’s lot. Sam groaned and slowly opened his eyes. “Hey, we’re at the garage. I thought we could stay here tonight then head to my place tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Sam said softly, opening the door and slowly getting out, stretching his long legs as he did. He had been asleep when they stopped in New Mexico. He didn’t even remember Dean making him get out of the car to use the bathroom and forced him to eat a little something that the medicine in him wouldn’t screw him up too much.

“How’s your arm?” Dean asked, coming around to look at Sam.

“It’s fine.” He whispered, but he was holding it close to him. Dean was sure that it was probably hurting. He followed Sam to the building. He could hear the others pulling in. But Dean knew that Sam needed time away from all of them. Hell, he needed time away from all of them. So they made their way through everything to the room that Dean used to sleep in when he just couldn’t handle being around John, until he got the apartment that was. It wasn’t much. A large bed mainly. But that’s all they really needed. They needed sleep.

“Let me look at that.” Dean said when he closed the door behind him. Sam held out his arm for Dean to check it out. He knew basic first aid. And he knew how to change bandages. He was going to make sure that they were always clean and taken care of. “It looks fine. It should heal nicely.”

“Thanks.” Sam sighed and set down on the bed. “You want the bed?”

“I think there’s enough room we could share.” Dean laughed. “And I’ll even keep my boxers on.”

“God, you’re ridiculous.” Sam said, kicking off his boots and laying back on one side of the bed. Dean kicked off his own shoes and his vest was next. He tossed himself down on the bed.

“God, this thing stinks.” He shook his head, not wanting to know what had been done on this bed. “I’m replacing it once everything is done and over with.” Sam didn’t answer. Dean looked over to find Sam fast asleep. He couldn’t help but smile. “G’night bitch.” He said, turning over and falling to sleep himself.

****

The next morning, there were not alarm clocks. Everyone slept in as much as they could, just enjoying their moments of peace. They knew that war was on the horizon, especially once the other princes found Azazel. They also knew that they were going to have to bury Benny. Bobby had tried over and over again to get a hold of either of his parents, but nothing.

Sheriff Mills came by in the afternoon. Dean was out in the garage, trying to focus on a car to keep his mind off of everything. The Wayward Sons were staying at John’s old home for the night. Bobby had never sold it, figuring that Sam might want it during the summers or something. Or that Dean would get tired of that apartment and want a change. Lucifer, Andy, Gabriel, Ruby, and Meg were all there, waiting for the other shoe to drop and war to break out.

“Dean Winchester.” Jody said, walking up to him. Dean smiled some.

“Hey Jody.” Dean said, wiping his hands on a shop rag. She could tell that his smile wasn’t reaching his eyes though and she immediately hugged him. She might have been on the Hunters payroll, but she was also a friend. That’s what made it a little easier to look the other one every once in awhile.

“Benjamin Lafitte has been released to the North Star Hospital Center.” Jody explained to Dean. “So you guys can arrange…” Dean nodded.

“Thanks Jody. We really owe you.” Dean said. Jody looked up then and smiled some as Sam came out into the garage, favoring his arm.

“Sam.” She hugged him, careful to miss his arm. “Welcome home.”

“Thanks Jody.” Sam said softly. “Hey Dean, have you seen Jim?”

“No, not yet. Your arm hurting?” Dean asked. Sam nodded. Dean was about to say something when some new bikes pulled into the lot. Jody was a little on edge. “It’s ok Jody, they’re friends.” Dean said. Andy took his helmet off and looked over at Sam and Dean.

“You okay?” He asked, walking past Jody.

“I’m fine.” Sam sighed. Jody took this time to size up the Wayward Sons. Andy seemed okay. Meg and Ruby weren’t too bad. Gabriel looked a little rough around the edges. Lucifer was fucking scary.

“I could score you some Demon Blood man.” Lucifer said. “It’ll stop all the pain.”

“Yeah, and it’ll stop him from being a functioning human being.” Ruby hissed. “Don’t even bring that shit around here.”

“Demon Blood?” Dean asked. “What the fuck is that?”

“Street drug and nasty.” Jody told him. “I just had to interview a couple of girls who had been slipped it in their drinks.” Dean watched Ruby awkwardly rubbed her arm as Jody spoke. “Moderation shouldn’t cause any life altering effects. But too much and overdoses can really fuck you up.”

“Can we change the subject?” Sam asked. “I don’t need Demon Blood. Just some low grade, over the counter painkillers and I’ll be good.”

“What happened anyway?” Jody asked.

“I got shot.” Sam said dismissively before he headed to where Ellen and Jo were to see if they had anything.

“Well, I guess you guys have things to attend to.” Jody said. “Let me know when the funeral is. I’d love to pay my respects.” She patted Dean’s arm and offered a small smile. “And tell Bobby to give me a call.” She left then. Dean went to go make the arrangements to have Benny buried. He didn’t want him to lay there and rot because his parents couldn’t give a shit about him. He also needed to research whatever this Demon Blood shit was.

“She was addicted to it.” Andy said to Dean, startling him some. “Ruby was. She was kicked out of her home, lost her job, everything. All she wanted was more of it. But she pulled herself out and is very anti Demon Blood.”

“Why is it called that?” Dean asked.

“No matter what form it’s in, it’s a deep red. It looks like blood. And it causes the user to hallucinate. A very common side effect is they believe they have powers.” Andy looked over at Lucifer, who was talking with Meg and Gabriel. “Lucifer OD’ed on it. That’s why he’s insane.”

“That did that to him?” Dean asked.

“Gabriel said he had a slight mental illness anyway. And he got hooked on Demon Blood. And he just took more and more until his body couldn’t take it anymore.” Andy explained. “Sam got lucky. He took it once and it made him sick and he promised to never take it again.” Andy realized as soon as the words left his mouth, he shouldn’t have said them.

“Wait...what did you say?” Dean asked.

“Nothing.” Andy shook his head.

“Sam took this drug?” Dean asked. Andy sighed.

“Once, as a moment of weakness. Right after Jess died. But he got so sick that the benefits were overshadowed. And he promised all of us and God himself that he would never do it again.” Andy could see the anger bubbling away under Dean’s skin. What else had Sam neglected to tell him? Instead, Dean stormed off, leaving Andy there. He went to find Bobby so they could get ready to bury Benny.

****

The funeral home was quick to have things set up. So it was the next day and they were ready. Benny was prepped and placed in a closed casket. It was sunny and warm. Every trope in movies said it was supposed to rain. So it couldn’t really be a funeral.

It was a graveside service. The funeral home did bring Benny to the cemetery via hearse, and the Hunters and Wayward Sons were the pallbearers. While the Wayward Sons had only known Benny a couple of days, they felt obligated to stand there by the Hunters. Ellen and Jo sobbed. Especially Ellen. She had watched Benny grow up from a chubby toddler to a man.

Sam was one of the first to leave when the ceremony was over. He had to get away. He needed air. So he stormed off, running away to a club of trees where he could sit and be alone. But he wasn’t, because Dean was right behind him.

“Sammy…” Dean said. “We got revenge for Benny and for dad.”

“You think that Azazel planned this all on his own?” Sam asked. Dean was about to speak up. “There are three more princes out there, plus their fucking henchmen. Dean, we have to stop them all.”

“And we will in due time.” Dean said. “We just buried Benny.”

“They won’t care.” Sam told him. “And if what Azazel said is true…”

“What? What did he say to you?” Dean asked.

“He told me that he slept with mom when her and dad were separated and that I have a good chance of being his kid.” Sam told Dean. “I don’t believe but…”

“Dad told me about that.” Dean said. “You’re not Azazel’s son. Even if you were, it didn’t change anything. Dad loved you so much.”

“But…”

“No buts Sammy. You’re a Winchester, that’s all there is to it. You ain’t getting out of this family that easy.” He smirked at Sam, who rolled his eyes. “Come on. I think a trip up to Austin for a burger is in order. My treat.”

“Can we take Baby?” Sam asked.

“Of course. Probably hard to steer your bike with that arm anyway.” They headed back to the others. They had gotten a ride with Bobby. Dean didn’t mention anything about what Andy had told him about Demon Blood. He just wasn’t in the mood to fight with Sam. He got his brother back and he wanted to keep it that way. He didn’t want to push him away.

And a trip to Austin really could do them both a lot of good.

****

Aguila, Arizona

Azazel’s body laid on a table as Asmodeus, Alastair, Ramiel, Lilith, Abbadon, and Dagon stood around. It had been chaos when the princes had came back from a run to Mexico and found their fourth dead on the ground. This just stunk of Hunters. Alastair was sure of it.

“They’re all dead.” Asmodeus finally said. “The Hunters have to be exterminated.”

“What do we do?” Ramiel asked.

“We slaughter them like the pigs they are.” Lilith hissed. She held Azazel’s favorite pistol in her hands. “I want to kill at least one of them.”

“Lil, just breathe.” Abbadon said. She looked at the others.

“Actually, I think it would be a fantastic idea to include the girls.” Alastair said. “They have a moral code. They’re not going to willingly shoot women. And they don’t have women in their group. It would be the perfect distraction.”

“Then let’s get ready.” Asmodeus announced. “I want the Hunters dead by the end of the week.”

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @i-would-die-for-woodland-demars @dekahg @marvel-af @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogaruke @xxwarhawk

Dean Winchester/Jensen Ackles  Tags: @luciathewinchestergirl @sheris532 @bobasheebaby @flamencodiva @bella-ca

This Life Tags: @soulslaststand @jamielea81 @caplansteverogers @becs-bunker @colie87

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[waselysian]

oKAY SO: cosmos & earth for rose, sweet dreams & soothe for jav, waxing & waning for ally, galaxies & contemplation for jas, full moon & reflection for jack, night light & nightmare for lexa, candle light & sunset for joe, shooting star & reminder for lia, midnight & slumber for mia AND 11-11 for letty

late night self reflective asks 🌙

rose

cosmos: what’s one thing you wish you could say to someone you are no longer friends with?

to keziah she’d like to tell her one last time how she wished she had never come into her life or into the lives of the people she cared about. she’d confront her once more about that conversation she had way back then with james when she had no rights to do that, had no clue what was really going on between james and her. then she’d also thank her, for showing her she’s stronger than ever by being able to just let her go and not be hurt by the hole she left and for showing her that she’d never let herself get manipulated by a person like that ever again.

earth: where do you feel most at home?

that is quite an easy answer yet also a cheesy one, you could say. it has to be james arms. that’s where she feels the most at home. she could be at the most random hotel in the world but as long as she’d be in his arms, she’d still feel at home more than anywhere else. she’s never felt so at home as with him. she never thought that a person could feel like home, she also didn’t think it’d be possible to love someone as much as she loves him but he proved her wrong when it comes to both of those things, without a doubt.

javier

sweet dreams: are you happy?

yes, javier is very happy. sure, his life isn’t exactly ideal at all. he still doesn’t know what to do with his life for example but besides that, he can’t complain. he has a gorgeous girlfriend who he considers the love of his life who makes him extremely happy and who he wants to marry rather sooner than later. he also owns quite the nice house with her and has three really pretty cats. so, basically, he can’t complain. it’s not ideal but things are going good and he’s happy.

soothe: what’s one thing that always makes you feel better when you’re upset?

when javier is really upset he doesn’t really talk at all. all he wants to do is cuddle up to jean and hold her tightly and maybe sleep all his worries away. that’s what makes him feel better. or run a relaxing bath but jean needs to be there with him. if he’s in a crowded place or someone talks to him a lot,  that only makes him feel worse then. basically, as long as its quiet around him and jean is right there with him, that’s what usually helps making him feel better.

ally

waxing: what is your proudest accomplishment?

her proudest accomplishment would have to be her daughter with bas. there’s a lot of other things she’s proud of for sure but she’s very proud they both managed to handle things so well so far, that she’s managed to push through that pregnancy even though it wasn’t always easy and still made it one of the happiest times of her entire life. she’s quite sure they created a beautiful and lovely tiny human being and she’s just so proud they managed to do that

waning: what is your biggest regret?

usually, ally doesn’t really regret anything at all. she rather learns from her mistakes than regretting them. if she’d have to choose something though, it’d have to be the time she wasted at university with her law major. sure, at least she tried it out, right? but from the very beginning she already knew that she didn’t want anything to do with law. she only did it to please her parents but her mother would’ve never wanted her daughter to do something she doesn’t want to do. her father is different when it comes to that but ally has learned to not care anymore about his opinion.

jasmine

galaxies: what are three things you want to do before you die?

while two of the things are rather boring, one is quite exciting at least. lets start with the more boring things. for one, she really wants to get married and have children though that technically already counts as two things but another thing is she really wants to walk the victoria’s secret show. the more exciting thing is, she really wants to do skydiving one day.

contemplation: if you could wake up one morning and everything in your life was perfect, what would that look like?

to be completely honest? it’d be exactly the way her life is right now. even more perfect now that her and bas are traveling quite a lot because traveling is her passion but lets take a normal day… it’d just include waking up next to bas, start a day with him by her side and with their dogs, either do some shootings or if she doesn’t have work, workout though she does that either way and then end the day with bas by her side again. that’s pretty much it, her life right now is perfect to her

jack

full moon: what type of person do you hope to be?

jack really hopes to be a person who can make the ones he cares about proud. he hopes to be someone others can look up to. he hopes to be someone that can finally achieve his goals. he also hopes to be someone that can finally be proud of himself and most importantly, he hopes to be a really good soon to be husband to alana and make her the happiest he can every single day

reflection: have you ever changed something you liked about yourself to satisfy someone else?

yes, absolutely. as sad as it might be, jack used to do that on the regular when he was younger… he always tried to change so things were easier for his mother after his dad passed away. he never really was himself, tried to make her proud by faking whatever he needed to fake. just when she got with his stepfather, that changed and he did the complete opposite and did things to piss her off and rebel a little.

lexa

night light: who/what makes you feel safe?

when she is alone, she often feels unsafe and there’s nothing she can do to change that feeling really though now that she has cruz, that also changes things a little at least but besides that, she feels the safest around xari. he just gives her the feeling of comfort and safety. she’s not sure how he does it or what he does to make her feel that way but from day one with him she felt that way and now that they’re back together, that’s not changed either.

nightmare: what are you most afraid of?

as weird as that might sound, if you know alexa’s story it’s not that weird after all. she’s most afraid of her parents finding her because she knows the moment they know where she is, they’ll most likely come to her and with a snap of her fathers finger her entire life, everything she built up until that moment will easily be ruined and considering she’s just found happiness again, that’s really the last thing she needs. there’s been moment when she didn’t even care, where she thought things couldn’t get worse but she’s at a point again where she’s genuinely scared of it all.

joe

candle light: are you an indecisive person?

not usually, no. maybe when it comes to certain things he’s quite indecisive but once he knows what he wants, he can easily decide on it. the problem is getting there, figuring it all out but he isn’t really indecisive.

sunset: who is someone you thought would be in your life forever, but you no longer talk to?

it’s one of his childhood best friends. they’ve been through thick and thin together. they spend almost every single day together, shared their darkest secrets and eventually, they just somehow grew apart and stopped talking completely. sometimes joe still wonders how that all happened but in general he knows there’s no point to dwell on the past so he’s over it but it was a sad time for him

lia

shooting star: who is someone you trust to help you make the right decisions?

there is three people to be precise she’d turn to when it comes to really important decisions. starting with her father, he’s always been her rock and her shoulder to lean on. her dad is also one of her best friends and she always goes to him for advise and when she needs help making a decision. then there’s bas who is so much more than just her best friend, he’s also become like family to her for so long now. she trusts him more than anyone else in this world and usually he’s also the first one she turns to when she needs help to make a decision. she knows he’ll always help making the decision that is best for her too. then there’s the love of her life, rafaelle who is also one of her best friends on top of it all. she also trusts him so incredibly much and knows she can count on him to help her make the right decision when she comes to him and needs help with it.

reminder: who is someone you will never forget?

im guessing this aims at someone who already passed away? probably her grandfather from her father’s side so her fathers dad. he passed away a few years ago and he practically was the same man as her father, they were extremely similar personality wise. she had a very strong bond with him and he was always very loving and supportive towards her and her dreams and she’ll never forget the times he made music with her and encouraged her to keep going and continue following her dreams as well as assure her each time that one day she’d make it

mia

midnight: are you a different person late at night than in the early morning?

not really, no. well, despite the fact that she’s usually extremely tired late at night due to long and exhausting days but besides that, she’s not very different. unless something happened during the day that made her extremely grumpy towards the end of the day but besides that, no. she’s still the same exact person.

slumber: what’s one thing that helps you fall asleep when it feels impossible?

when it feels completely impossible, she usually gets up again and either gets leia to sleep in bed with her or she makes herself some warm milk with honey, gets back into bed and she has that app with soothing sounds and she puts on the sound of the ocean, waves and seagulls and she starts reading a book. most of the time, she gets really tired then and eventually starts falling asleep.

letty

11-11: what’s something you want, but feel like you will never have?

funnily enough, a few days ago the answer to that would’ve been how she’d want to have grey see her in a different light than just as a friend but she’d feel like that would never happen. turns out she was very wrong and things changed quite a lot with that. something else is probably how she wishes people would respect that the things she’s achieved she achieved because of hard work. she didn’t get all those subscribers on youtube because of her fathers money nor did she graduate from university with huge success because of her fathers money. yes, her fathers money is what made all of that possible, she’ll forever be grateful for that but it’s not what made her successful in any way and she wishes people would simply respect that and her for all she’s doing but she knows that will never happen and there’ll always be people feeling that way. most of the time she doesn’t care, she couldn’t care less about what people think of her but at very rare times it does get to her quite a lot.