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theasstour · 5 years ago

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𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄 | 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 𝟐𝟎.𝟐𝐤 𝐍𝐁: 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡, 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭

A/N: Thank you so incredibly much to each one of you angels who voted for ST in the 1D Craft Awards 🥺 You continue to take my breath away with all your kindness, support and love 🐚🌊✨ ENJOYYY CHAPTER 7! x

Saturday, 25 July

The phone vibrated against the wooden table, jolting Y/N out of her focus. She blinked a few times, looking over at Fatima who turned the timer off and looked at Y/N with expectant eyes. Y/N shook her head and Fatima’s face visibly fell.

“What you mean?”

“I didn’t finish, did I?” Y/N groaned, running her hands over her face, hiding it from view for a few seconds before she sat back in her chair and looked at her laptop in front of her. The two were sitting at Olive’s Café on Island Square, seated on lime green chairs outside, the morning sun beating down on them as each of them tried to do work; Fatima looking through the curriculum she was going to teach this coming year, and Y/N doing her UCAT work. Fatima was a teacher for fourth graders, so she knew how to make things easy to understand, how to pull things apart and study properly. When Fatima had suggested that the two of them take a day together to just study, Y/N had jumped at the opportunity. Now, they had met to do exactly this a few days in a row and Y/N was really starting to feel the effects.

The thought of the UCAT exam coming closer and closer made her want to hurl. September 10th didn’t seem that far away anymore, something that absolutely terrified Y/N. Not only did she need to be out of St Ives by then, leaving her entire life and friends here behind, but she didn’t know where she’d even be. Would she even have enough money? Would she still be in Cornwall? Would she have crawled with her tail between her legs back to Winchester, asking for forgiveness for leaving them all behind?

Fatima pursed her lips, tapping her pen against the top of Y/N’s laptop. “Is it ‘cause you’re stressing too much?”

“Probs.”

“It’s hard not to when it’s important to you.”

Y/N sighed heavily, nodding her head in agreement. “This practice exam… well, it was hard.”

“They usually are, the practice exams,” Fatima explained. “Not necessarily so to scare you, more so that you’ll be aware that this will be hard, but the actual exam isn’t that bad. They never are.”

Y/N gave Fatima a little smile. “Taken the UCAT before?”

“Obvs, I’m the smartest bitch in all of the UK, if not Europe.”

Y/N laughed, quickly sighing again as she looked down at her laptop again. This was the first practice exam she had ever taken; Fatima had timed her to see if she’d make it in the estimated time it took to complete the UCAT, but Y/N hadn’t managed to. She supposed she still had a lot of time to study and prepare herself, but it still made her feel like all her studying had been for absolutely nothing. One failure, even if it didn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things, always seemed like the most important thing in the world. How had the world not shifted? How was not everyone around her crying like she felt she should be doing?

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Y/N. I promise you’ll be fine.”

She nodded, knowing deep down that Fatima was right. The universe would balance itself out eventually, everything would be alright in the end even if her current world was crumbling right before her eyes. Maybe she was just being dramatic, maybe it wasn’t that deep and she had just not been focused enough, but Y/N felt like giving up now.

“When I feel like I’m failing at life,” Fatima started, sitting up a bit straighter in her seat. “I pick up a pillow and I just scream into it.”

Y/N blinked.

Fatima grinned.

“You just scream? How?”

“Just like you’d normally scream,” Fatima chuckled, demonstrating by pretending to pick up a pillow, burying her face in it, and silently screaming. “And after that, I feel better.”

“Like a proper scream?”

“Like you’re being chased down the street by a man in a clown costume holding an axe.”

Y/N smiled, shaking her head some. “I’ll do that when I get back to the Inn. Immediately.”

Fatima laughed just as someone came up beside them, asking the man sitting beside them if the chair opposite him was taken. When the tiny, short-haired blonde sat down beside them, she beamed from ear to ear. There was something about Ellie’s presence that just made everything better. She was so round, so small, so joyous all the time that it felt wrong to be in a sulky mood when she was around.

“I heard you’re studying,” Ellie said, perching her yellow sunglasses on the top of her head. “And by the looks of it-“ Ellie mimicked what Fatima had just done with the scream. “-It’s not going so well.”

“Y/N’s studying for that dentist test and she tried one of them practice exams, didn’t go so well.”

“Aww.” Ellie pouted. “I’ll buy you a cupcake to cheer you up. I always eat tons when I’m sad, especially sweets. Especially, especially cupcakes.”

“Thanks for the offer, but-“

“-Ima, you want a cupcake as well?” Ellie put her purse down on her chair as she got up, holding onto her card. “Or a new iced latte?”

Fatima brought a hand to her chin, pretending to think about it, making exaggerated thinking noises till Ellie blurted a “today!” that made Fatima chuckle and say, “Both please, babe.”

Ellie smiled. “Girls, you know what I think we should do after this?” She waited for a few seconds for either of them to say something, but when they didn’t Ellie went on. “Go to the beach! You can’t be sad when you’re at the beach! We’ll sunbathe, have a bit of a swim, and then go for a Cheeky V at the pub after.”

Fatima smiled a little, looking at Y/N to see if she’d be into that.

Though all Y/N wanted to do was go back to the Inn and scream into her pillow, she smiled up at Ellie. “Yeah, why not? Have a bit of a girls day.”

“Oh, my gosh, that’s exactly what it is as well,” Ellie gasped, grinning from ear to ear. “BRB, ladies, I’m getting us something sweet.” Ellie was off into Olive’s Café greeting an acquaintance loudly before she went over to talk to them. Fatima only shook her head some, turning back to the book in front of her.

“You’ll figure it out, Y/N.”

“The UCAT?” she asked, looking at her laptop again, feeling her stomach drop at the sight of the practice exam again.

“Everything,” Fatima answered with so much conviction that for a moment, Y/N almost believed her.

“Alright, crew,” Dax called as they pulled into the farm, its lush and green landscape opening up around them. “Just warning you now, I’m gonna absolutely crush you tonight. I go for the title of champion even if it means I’m gonna have to lose some friends.”

“Sad, that,” Fatima sighed. “Seeing as you’ve never won before, what makes you think you’re gonna win this year?”

Amir turned to look at them from where he sat shotgun. “Dax, you may try to win, but we all know the former singer and frontman of Astronaut Lions will go home champion tonight.”

“You are a terrible singer, Amir. Dunno why we let you even sing,” Jo groaned.

“’Cause I’ve got a silky-smooth, delicious, fantastic-“

“-Shut up, mate!” Ellie groaned, making Jo laugh and give her a high five.

Harry stopped his van, killing the engine before Dax got up and opened the door for everything in the backseats. Y/N made sure no one could see her bum as she descended from the car, keeping her hands by her buttocks to keep her pleated lilac skirt from showing too much of her skin. She put her purse on her shoulder, letting it hang over her white crop cardigan. Music could be heard from the large barn, some awful singing streamed out from the open entrance as people walked out, laughing and carrying empty plates. The farm was just as beautiful as Y/N remembered it, now smelling of delicious barbeque and sounding of hens, chatter, and the occasional failed high-note. The karaoke night seemed to be under full way, the courtyard brimming with people, the same went for the inside of the barn it seemed.

Y/N, Fatima and Ellie fell into step beside one another as they walked over to the gate, Harry opening it for the rest, gesturing for them to walk in before him. When Y/N reached him last he gave her a little smile, eyes falling to the gravel under his feet.

“Harry!” Grace yelled, running from the grill where Uncle Tim, Jessa, and lolo stood looking at the food. “Harry, Harry, Harry!”

“There she is!” Harry bent down as Grace came running, wrapping his arms around her and spinning her around, her feet dangling in the air.

“Alright, Mr Flores?” Dax asked as he walked up to the grill, putting a hand on lolo’s shoulder. Lolo grinned up at Dax, saying something that Y/N didn’t catch as Amir let out a loud groan hitting his chest with both hands.

“Let’s go! Gonna belt Material Girl in approximately five minutes, everyone come watch to have your life changed!” Amir ran into the barn, shouting something as he met a few familiar faces inside.

“After a few pints he’ll try Gentleman,” Fatima sighed. “Someone should cover Gracie’s ears then.”

“That SL song?” Jo asked. “Nah, he better do Wiley Flow, or else I’m gonna have to challenge him to a rap battle.”

“Amir’s got no chance of keeping up with any of Stormzy’s songs,” Ellie pointed out matter-of-factly, scrunching up her nose. “Anyway,” Ellie stopped Jo before they started talking. “We’re doing Sugababes, yeah? About You Now?”

“Obvs!” Fatima exclaimed, offended that Ellie might’ve thought otherwise. “And Y/N’s joining us.”

“Oh!” Y/N raised her eyebrows, chuckling a little as Fatima wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “It’s been a while since I’ve heard a Sugababes song.”

“They’re immense, aren’t they?” Ellie grinned. “I used to listen to Push The Button on repeat when I was like 12.”

“Was more of a Too Lost in You type of girl,” Y/N said, making Fatima gasp and Ellie bring a hand up to her chest.

“We’re doing Too Lost in You!” Ellie clapped her hands frantically. “Oh, my life! Legendary!”

“Of course,” Fatima smiled. “You wanna sing, yeah?”

“Let me down three ciders and I’ll be good to go.”

Jo laughed, gesturing for Y/N to follow them over to the main house where the four of them helped themselves to something to drink. Y/N glanced out of the kitchen window at the Styles-Flores family where they stood by the grill, sipping her cider. Grace sat on Harry’s shoulders, hands in his hair as she giggled at something. Harry had both his hands wrapped around his little sister’s ankles, holding her in place. Jessa was grinning at the two while Uncle Tim stood talking by the grill, asking lolo if what he was doing was alright, not having grilled this specific type of Filipino dish before. Dax stood chatting to one of Harry’s aunts, if it was Rachel or Abby, Y/N could not for the life of herself remember, but she noticed Harry’s aunt’s kids running around the grill, shouting at one another and laughing.

Y/N had never experienced a dynamic like this before. This family was so welcome, so big, so loving, and it made her happy to just watch them and know that, for a split second in time, she had been part of it. Maybe not a real part of it because this was not her family after all, but she had been touched by their warmth and been their guest for a time being. She would forever be grateful for that. Love tasted like Jessa’s lumpia, radiated like lolo’s approving smile, smelled like Grace’s hair after she had been out plucking wildflowers, and felt like Harry’s arms wrapped around her. Nothing would ever be quite like this.

“Let’s go to the barn,” Ellie said.

“I’ll just go say hi to Jessa,” Y/N announced, giving them all a smile before she walked outside and over to the grill where everyone was standing.

“Y/N!” Jessa exclaimed, opening her arms for her. Y/N grinned, walking over and doing the mano po on both Jessa and lolo. “How have you been? Don’t feel like I’ve seen you in ages.” Jessa swatted Harry’s arm, making him flinch away. “He’s keeping you all to himself, isn’t he?”

“I’ve been busy, nanay!” Harry said, furrowing his brows at his step-mum.

“Karaoke is huge in the Philippines,” Jessa explained, as she linked her arm with Y/N’s bringing her over to the grill where lolo and Tim were standing. “It is an understatement to say that Filipinos love karaoke, I daresay. Almost every Filipino home has a karaoke machine, Harry’s dad bought ours when we first moved here, but we put it out in the barn ‘cause we don’t really use it unless there’s a karaoke night, like tonight.”

“How nice, this is a tradition then? Each summer?”

“Yeah, we have a karaoke barbeque night every summer, everyone’s invited!” Jessa beamed. “It’s a fantastic way to just relax, forget about everything for a little while, belt your heart out to some of your favourite songs.”

Y/N smiled, eyes landing on the grill.

“Alright, Y/N?” Tim asked, smiling at her. “We made some tempeh for you, some Filipino barbeque sauce on it that’s out of this world. Not surprised, though, when Jessa made it.”

“Oh!” Jessa waved her hand as if to dismiss the compliment, but squeezed his shoulder. “I’m excited to see what you think. It was either tempeh or baos, thought you might like this a bit more.”

Y/N took a plate and a fork and watched as Tim put some food on her plate, thanking him once it was done. She picked up the tempeh and blew on it before she took a bite out of it, chewing it thoroughly and smiling at Jessa after swallowing.

“That’s brilliant.”

“Ahh! You think?” Jessa grinned, looking from Tim and back to Y/N, then at lolo. “Amá, Y/N liked the tempeh we made.”

Lolo smiled at Y/N and looked at her plate, nodding slowly. “You have to come and make some food with us once. You are part of the family now; we can show you our secret recipes.”

Y/N chuckled some before swallowing her bite of tempeh. “Wouldn’t say I’m part of the family, but thank you-“

“-Nonsense!” Jessa exclaimed, shaking her head furiously. “You are here, you’re making Harry happy, and since you’ve come to St Ives, the world’s been a brighter place. You’re where you need to be.”

For some reason, Y/N couldn’t quite believe what Jessa was saying. She knew it was coming from a good place, that she meant that it was nice to have Y/N there, but her family was in Winchester, she couldn’t possibly come into a new one and then ruin that one as well. This family she was visiting in St Ives would do just fine without her when she left in August. No one would miss her once she had been gone for a week, that was just a fact. Y/N was so bloody lost, she did not know what to do once her and Harry “broke up”, but she knew she would not disappoint and make any of the people around her sad, she refused.

Instead, Y/N smiled as she took the last bite of the tempeh, chewing and swallowing before she said. “Harry said something about an end of summer party.”

“Yes! I wanted to talk to you about that! Because, on the topic of food,” Jessa smiled back. “If you could give me some of your favourite vegetarian dishes, I’d love to make them for you! It would be amazing for many others to try something new as well.”

“I’d be more than happy to help out,” Y/N said, looking over at Grace as she sat on Dax’s back, the blonde man running around in circles as Harry ran after them, growling and acting like a disformed monster of sorts. She smiled a little at the sight, he looked absolutely ridiculous. How was he still cute? “I’ll bring the veggie food and I’ll show you how to make those, and then you show me how to make some Filipino dishes as well.”

Jessa placed a hand over her heart, beaming at Y/N. “You are an absolute treasure, me lover.”

Y/N smiled, eating some more of the tempeh. “When should I come and help out?”

“Are you free Tuesday?”

“Yeah, I don’t have any plans as of now.”

“Great! Harry will drive you here then. It’ll just be me, amá, Gracie, and Harry, and now you.” Jessa put her hand on Y/N’s arm, squeezing her lovingly before she turned to answer a question Tim asked her about the food he was currently grilling.

Y/N looked in the direction of Harry, Dax and Grace again, now walking towards the house. Jessa must have noticed Y/N staring in their direction because she linked her arm through Y/N’s and the two walked in the direction of the house as well.

“There’s more food inside,” she explained, grinning from ear to ear. “We do grill a lot, but Tim’s not really the best with the grill and he always insists on grilling at these gatherings, I don’t really have the heart to tell him no.” Jessa led Y/N into the dining room where she remembered all the food had been served at Grace’s birthday party. Again, casserole upon casserole stood spread over the dining table, covering it completely. Most of the dishes were all dug into, some almost completely wiped from the casseroles.

“Here,” Jessa said as she led Y/N over to the table. “I made your lumpia, there’s a few other vegetarian options as well.”

The fact that Jessa thought of this, thought of Y/N’s preference and made life a little easier for her, was so greatly appreciated that it nearly brought tears to Y/N’s eyes.

“This is biko,” Jessa explained, pointing to a casserole filled with banana leaves, a brown dish resting in it. “It’s a rice cake made from malagkit, or sticky rice, coconut milk, and brown sugar. Like other rice cakes, it is referred to as kakanin, taken from the word kanin which means rice, and is often eaten as a dessert or meryenda, meaning a mid-afternoon snack.”

“It looks lovely,” Y/N said, reaching for the spoon to get herself a slice before it was all eaten up. “Know we’re probably not set for dessert just yet, but I might just need some.”

Jessa laughed, smiling as Y/N took a bite of the biko. “What do you reckon, darling?”

“Heavenly, Jessa.”

Jessa clapped her hands together in delight, grinning from ear to ear as Y/N went in for another bite. “You have to try the buko pie next.”

“Which one’s that?”

Jessa pointed to a golden pie, not waiting for any sort of reply before cutting Y/N a small piece, placing it on Y/N’s plate. “It’s a sweet and rich pie made from young coconut meat.”

“Oh?”

“Buko pies are mostly sold in southern parts of Luzon in the Philippines. There’s this specific store down there called Collette’s that serves the best buko pie. I will never be able to replicate it, but I will try my hardest, every time I make a buko pie,” Jessa smiled. “We need to take you to Luzon, Y/N, you’d love it. Once we’ve saved up and all that.”

“This is the best buko pie I’ve ever tasted at least,” Y/N said, and Jessa laughed again looking out through the window only to sigh deeply.

“I need to go out there, it seems Tim is struggling and amá cannot be asked to help him out.” Jessa sprinted out, shouting something at Tim that Y/N didn’t catch but by the look on all the relatives standing around and Tim’s face, it couldn’t have been good. Y/N smiled a little, eating the rest of her pie before she realised she heard music. This wasn’t the type streaming out from the barn, this was coming from inside the house. And it was coming from the piano.

Y/N walked into the kitchen and placed her now empty plate on the kitchen counter before walking over to the dining room again, walking over to the doorway leading into the living room. With Grace on his lap, Harry was sitting by the piano, playing a tune Y/N had never heard before. It was both hopeful and very sad, unlike anything Y/N had ever heard before. There was no note sheet in front of him as he played, his eyes were only on the keys in front of him. Grace sometimes leaned forward and pressed a key she wasn’t supposed to, looking up at Harry while she giggled before leaning into him again, listening to the rest of the song.

“Can you play that other one?” Grace asked as Harry continued to play.

“What other one? There are quite a few, Gracie.”

“She means the one about me,” Dax grinned, standing beside the piano with his arms crossed, a massive grin on his face. “Go on, Hazza. Play that one inspired by Sexy Back.”

“Watch your mouth,” Harry hissed through gritted teeth, making his best friend laugh.

“Noooo!” Grace laughed. “The one you wrote after you, me and Y/N went to St Austell. The one about that trip.”

“Ahh, haven’t heard that one before,” Dax said, walking over to sit on the sofa beside the piano, watching the two siblings as they settled in again. Grace pressed one of the keys, looking up at Harry who smiled down at her and shook his head. He took her hand, bringing her finger over to the correct starting note, pressing it down for a long while so she’d get the feel of it. Then, he brought her to the next one, slowly playing the melody out before Grace motioned for Harry to take over for her.

What Harry produced just pressing a couple of keys at just the right moment was so breath-taking that Y/N almost felt dizzy. There was something to this melody that words weren’t ready to properly convey yet, something that was too powerful for a simple human brain to comprehend. Y/N understood why Harry wrote songs now. This melody captured that day perfectly. Her heart knew that melody. It had played that melody itself that day; it had been there with Harry while he came up with it as well.

She was thrown back to walking along St Austell, spending the day in the sunshine with two people that she had come to care so incredibly much for. Thrown back to standing side by side with Harry, talking about music, walking along the market, eating ice cream, laughing till her sides hurt. A lump suddenly appeared in her throat.

“What the fuc-“

“-Dax,” Harry said, stopping immediately. “No.”

“I’ve heard that word before, Harry,” Grace said.

“What, when?!”

“Harry, that was insane,” Dax said, grinning as he stood up from the sofa again. Before Y/N could be noticed, she stepped away from the doorway and walked outside again, feeling every inch of her chest hurting.

“Y/N!” Jo called. “Come in here!” They stood by the grill with a plate filled with food, waving her over so the two of them could walk in together.

She grinned over at Jo as she made her way over, them walking in the direction of the barn together. She waved at people she recognised – Florence from Bessie’s knitting club and Dax’s mum, was one of them. The inside of the barn was decorated with plenty of fairylights, giving the old interior a yellowish and homely glow resembling candlelight. There were small tables and chairs all around so people could sit down to eat, drink, and chat, while a huge screen was positioned by the furthest wall, two microphones attached to what looked to be a high quality karaoke machine of sorts. Jo showed the way and they sat down with the rest, it didn’t take long for Harry, Dax, and Grace to join them. Y/N got out of her chair and tapped Grace on the shoulder.

“Haven’t gotten a hug yet,” Y/N said and Grace jumped off the ground, throwing her arms around Y/N’s neck. She laughed, hugging the little girl to her for a few heavenly seconds before she stepped away. “You look nice today.”

“Nanay told me not to spill anything on it,” Grace said as she gestured at her pink, sparkly dress. “I told her I can’t promise that.”

Y/N chuckled. “You’re doing well so far, I’d say.”

“Thank you!” Grace beamed. “Anyway, Harry’s drinking that drink that makes his breath smell awful.”

“Gracie,” Harry warned from where he now sat beside Ellie, but the little girl did not appear to want to hear what he had to say.

“How can you kiss someone with bad breath, Y/N?” Grace asked and Y/N’s heart dropped at little as she thought about kissing Harry again. How they weren’t going to kiss again. How she wanted to kiss him, but not because they were fake dating. It took everything in Y/N not to look in Harry’s direction, because, judging by his little utterance of his sister’s name before, she knew he must’ve heard this as well.

“You don’t care if they’ve got bad breath if you really want to kiss them,” Y/N answered, giving Grace a smile.

Grace grimaced. “I would never kiss someone if their breath stank.”

“Don’t talk about kissing, you’re seven,” Harry said, sipping his pint.

Y/N raised her eyebrows at Grace and Grace did the same back. At Grace’s instructions, Y/N sat down in her seat so Grace could sit in her lap. Grace watched the people singing intently, sometimes singing along and nodding her head along to the music like she couldn’t help it. It was impossible not to smile at the sight of it, Y/N simply cared for this little creature so much it was hard for her to fully comprehend it. Grace, though young and Harry’s little sister, was the closest thing Y/N had ever come to a sister. They didn’t have a deep connection through thoughtful conversation, but they just understood and went along. There was an emotional and meaningful connection that, though not talked about, had appeared because they enjoyed and appreciated each other’s company.

Grace ran over to a nearby table to get herself some water, leaving Y/N sitting in the chair alone, her lap feeling oddly cold. On the other side of the table, Amir was talking loudly over the karaoke battle that had just begun.

“When I go back up to London for work in two weeks’ time, I feel like I’m just gonna make a right fool of myself, yeah? Normally takes a week for me to turn my weird off after I’ve been home.”

“Gonna be weird when you and Jo are off again,” Ellie said. “Why do you two have to work in London? Why can’t you just stay in St Ives?”

“Bit liberating to leave this place for another one every once in a while, not gonna lie,” Jo admitted, sipping their beer.

“Makes you realise all you’ve missed,” Fatima nodded. “Was the same when I came home for uni breaks, now I’m just really happy I ended up here. Might be underpaid as a teacher, but-“ Fatima shrugged her shoulders. “-I love living and working here, it’s home, after all.”

Y/N hated that she had never experienced that feeling; of coming back to something you had missed. Of coming home.

“Bum that,” Dax said. “I want my mates home at all times! I don’t care you’ve got a job!”

Y/N chuckled, the conversation around them commencing as she looked down at the table, picking at a stain on the table. Grace came back just then, but she didn’t get to sit down before Dax said her name.

“Wanna go up and sing your heart out?”

Grace squealed and took Harry’s hand. Harry downed the rest of his beer and stood up, walking with Grace, Dax, and Amir up to the karaoke machine. Y/N rested her chin in her hand, smiling as she watched the four of them discuss what song to do. It had to be an easy one that Grace already knew, it might be hard to find the correct one. They took some time to decide, but suddenly, the drums to a song Y/N recognised from Harry’s favourite’s playlist started playing. She remembered how Grace really loved that playlist.

“Uptown girl,” Grace sang into the microphone as she perched on Harry’s hip, sharing microphone’s with him. “She’s been living in her uptown world.”

Dax and Amir joined in as well, singing along with Grace who was still unsure of the lyrics but tried to read them as best she could on the screen in front of them. Harry moved them to the music, Dax throwing an arm around Amir’s shoulders as they started singing their hearts out. It was simply impossible not to smile as you watched the four of them, dancing and singing along to Billy Joel’s song.

“God,” Fatima sighed as she scooched her chair closer to Y/N’s. “I wish someone looked at me the way Harry looks at you.”

Y/N halted a little at Fatima’s words, looking in her direction as Amir, Dax, and Grace sang “And now she’s looking for her downtown man, that’s what I am”.

“Pardon?”

Fatima grinned. “Oh, you know-“ She placed her chin in her head, looking off into the distance with exaggerated doe eyes, a dreamy look on her face. For a split second, Y/N’s heart seemed to lurch out of her chest. Harry… Harry looked at her like that? He glanced at her? Surely, Fatima was not being serious and she had simply caught Harry smiling at Grace when she sat in Y/N’s lap.

Y/N laughed. “You’re taking the mick, that’s not how he looks at me.”

“Wouldn’t know, would you? Always happens when you’re not looking.”

“Harry,” Grace said, not even bothering to hold the microphone away as she spoke to him in the middle of the song. “You need to sing, the song’s for Y/N, remember?”

Y/N glanced beyond Fatima and at the group in front of the screen, a rush of adrenaline streaming through her veins. Laughter could be heard throughout the room at Grace’s words, many turning in Y/N’s direction to look at her, all with smiles and curious looks on their faces. At once, Y/N’s face seemed to be too hot for its own good. She bit her bottom lip, continued to watch the gang, ignoring the heat in her cheeks.

Harry seemed to take a deep breath before he started singing with Amir and Dax, both of them doing a miserable job of doing the song any sort of justice. Neither were impressive singers, but Y/N knew Harry was.

“Uptown girl, you know I can’t afford to buy her pearls,” Harry sang, voice so effortlessly breath-taking that Y/N felt like she was doing a pretty good job of imitating the dreamy look Fatima had demonstrated earlier. “But maybe someday when my ship comes in, she’ll understand what kind of guy I’ve been, and then I’ll win.”

Grace joined in then, wrapping her arm around Harry’s shoulder and leaning her head against his. They all continued to sing along to the song, Y/N not paying any sort of attention to the conversation between Fatima, Ellie, and Jo. She watched as the four of them cheered once they were done singing, bowing to the small applause they got before returning to the table.

“I need to go tell nanay!” Grace shouted, running off outside to Jessa and the rest of the family.

Y/N smiled at Harry as he came back, getting a tight-lipped smile back before he picked up his, Dax’s, Amir’s and Jo’s empty beer cans, walking over to get them all a new round. Grace came back with Halo Halo, placing herself on Y/N’s lap as the two ate, talking non-stop. The little one disappeared after a little while, Y/N suspected it was because it was getting rather late. As the night went on, Y/N realised that the only two that would be able to stand by the end of the night were her and Fatima. The others got very drunk, talking loudly about everything insignificant and nothing they would remember in the morning. Harry kept looking at the watch on his wrist, clearly making sure that they got back to his at a good hour so he could report at 3am. When Harry’s speech got a bit more slurred and his eyes a wee hooded, Y/N started looking out for him. Using the time on her phone, she kept an eye out, making sure that Harry returned to his cottage before then so he could sleep off most of his intoxication.

Talking amongst themselves as the rest chatted loudly, Fatima and Y/N agreed that Fatima would be the one to drive everyone home. It would be easier to drop Harry off last as this was his van, and Fatima didn’t live too far away from the lighthouse, the two then decided Y/N would sleep at her place that night, it would be nice just being the two of them. She loved how closed she was getting to Fatima and Ellie. There hadn’t really been a time before when she had made proper good friends, but everyone around that table were currently climbing very fast and very high up on her list of favourite people in the entire world. She genuinely appreciated Fatima’s help with the UCAT reading earlier that week, it had really helped her along, even though the result hadn’t been the best. That was Y/N’s fault though, not Fatima’s teaching skills.

At one point, Dax got all of them up from the table, bringing them over to the screen, telling them over and over again how they needed to do this. Y/N was unsure if they really did, but she didn’t bother telling a very drunk Dax that as he handed out microphones, telling people to share. Y/N scooted up next to Ellie, watching Harry as he put an arm around Jo’s shoulder, patting them as the two of them along with Amir watched Dax search for the song.

“We need to know what song we’re gonna embarrass ourselves to,” Amir exclaimed as Dax was taking his time typing.

“I’m not about to do a Union J song, mate,” Ellie said.

“Alright, I liked one of their songs ten years ago, Ellie!” Dax looked over his shoulder at her, a deep furrow to his brow. “Carry You is a belter!”

“It’s not.”

“Jo, back me up here,” Dax said, turning back to write something into the laptop standing there.

“Dax… don’t make us sing Union J or The Wanted or JLS or anything like that, we don’t need that,” Jo sighed.

“The fact you’re embarrassed about our boyband period in 2013 hurts.” Dax glared at Jo.

“Right, then, what’s the song we’re singing?” Harry shot in, nodding at the laptop again. “We’re just standing here lookin’ stupid now.”

“Looking stupid?” Amir tutted, shaking his head. “Couldn’t be me, mate. Model material, this is. Look like I’m straight off the runway.” He gestured at his body and Fatima feigned throwing up, making the five drunks howl with laughter.

“Ultraviolet, Stiff Dylans.”

Y/N gasped at Dax’s words, bringing her hand up to her chest as the others around just looked at her, afraid something had happened. She grinned at Dax. “That used to be my favourite song!”

This seemed to be shocking news to absolutely everyone.

“What?” Y/N raised her eyebrows. “Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging was revolutionary.”

“Too right,” Harry said. “But… were you…” He blinked a few times. “Were you even allowed to watch it? Not a film I reckon would’ve been allowed in your house.”

Y/N shrugged her shoulders. “What can I say, I used to be a rebel.”

“Yes, Y/N!” Dax grinned, giving Y/N a high five. “Now, bum God Save the Queen, this is Britain’s national anthem! Someone record this, history in the making!”

The familiar music started up and Y/N was taken back to a time when she had a massive crush on Aaron Taylor-Johnson, hiding her obsession with this film from her parents, and listening to this song on repeat. The whole gang started singing, Amir doing a horrible job of keeping up with everyone else, but it was fun to watch him get annoyed with himself for not getting it right. Involuntarily, Y/N’s eyes fell on Harry. He was singing his heart out, sounding better than everyone else, but in his drunken state he seemed to have forgotten some of the lyrics. However, everyone knew the song and it felt very good to be with people she adored, singing a song all of them knew and loved, together. She felt part of something bigger than herself in that moment.

Maybe that was why she did it. Because, looking back, Y/N did not quite know what came over her in that moment, but she loved herself for it. As the song started nearing the end, Y/N took the microphone out of Ellie’s hands and started singing at the top of her lungs, taking absolutely everyone by surprise but she did not care. Ellie started laughing and the rest joined in again towards the end, matching Y/N’s volume.

As she turned around after the song, grinning from ear to ear as she glanced at her friends, basking in their applause and cheers, she caught Harry’s eye. That crooked smile of his was on his face along with a look she wasn’t sure she had ever really seen before, maybe only once. Amusement tangled up with adoration, forming a sort of emotion that had yet to be given a word; someone on the cusp of surrendering themselves completely to the overpowering concept of love, yet still holding back in fear of the unrequited. As soon as their eyes met, Harry looked away, scratching at the back of his neck as he walked back over to their table, everyone following suit.

The time came for them all to leave and Harry gave Y/N the car keys, claiming that he was not fit to drive, though she had not needed him to tell her that. Y/N gave them over to Fatima and all of them made their way over to the van. The night sky was black, brimming with glinting stars and the moon hanging big and yellow over Cornwall, wishing them all a good night. Y/N walked over to Jessa and thanked her for her hospitality, asking her where lolo and Grace were. She explained they’d gone to bed a long time ago, lolo had probably read Grace a bedtime story and fallen asleep himself, he sometimes did that when he stayed the night at the farm.

Y/N ran over to the van, opening the passenger door to see Amir sitting there, a bag in front of him in case he should throw up on the way home. He gave Y/N a peace sign before she closed the door and opened the door into the backseats.

“There you are,” Jo said through a yawn. “Let’s go, Ima.”

“Y/N!” Harry called from further back in the van, making Dax groan and mumble a “shut up, mate” that Harry did not hear. “Y/N! My flower! Come back here, I saved us the whole back backseat!”

Y/N glanced in Fatima’s direction, only to see her friend raise her eyebrows at her, nodding her head. “He made a big fuss.”

“Y/N, come here, I want to tell you something,” Harry said, words slurring a bit. Y/N stepped into the van properly, closing the door behind her before she walked back to Harry, sitting down in the seat right beside him by the window, even though there were three seats in the far back of the car. The car jolted a little as Fatima started driving, steering the car up the gravel round and towards the centre of St Ives.

“What’d you wanna say?” Y/N asked Harry in a hushed voice, hoping he’d mimic her.

“I… I wanted to say something that’s been on my mind for a while now,” he said, whispering back to her, his face mere centimetres from her own. She felt hot all over, adoring their close proximity but also remembering the rule they had made some days ago. As they drove by the white fluorescent streetlights, Harry’s face lit up for a few seconds, making him appear almost angelic. “I’ve been thinking about it.”

“Okay.”

“It’s got to do with you.”

“Figured as much.”

Harry giggled, looking down at his hands where they rested between his legs, sliding his thumb along his other. “You’re very smart.”

“Thank you.”

“Smartest person I know.”

She couldn’t help but smile at the compliment. “I doubt that.”

He pursed his lips as he thought. “You do that a lot.”

“What?”

“Doubt yourself.” He stared back at her, moving a little closer so their sides were flush against one another. “I think you’re great. I’ve never doubted you.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds, neither knowing what to say as the world around them seemed to disappear completely. For a single moment, it looked like he was going to tilt his head to the side, almost as if he were getting ready to study her like he had done at Porthgwidden. He stopped himself, staring back at his hands.

“I don’t have any cucumber left,” Harry mumbled, this made Y/N giggle a little. “This ain’t gonna end well for me tonight if I don’t get that cucumber.”

Y/N giggled some more, bringing her hand to her mouth as Harry looked at her again, his crooked smile appearing on his face, dimple showing.

“What?”

“Doesn’t sound like you’re talking about a cucumber when you say it like that,” she said.

“What then?”

“Well… what’s kind of shaped like a cucumber?”

Harry furrowed his brows, thinking hard.

“You have it, I don’t.”

“A cock?” Harry mouthed, looking absolutely gobsmacked that Y/N would suggest such a thing, which made Y/N laugh again.

“Yeah, dildo or summat.”

“Y/N Bernadette Angelica McKay,” Harry gasped, shaking his head as his eyes fell on the road through the window beyond Y/N. “Saucy git.”

“You started it.”

“Well, you made it sexual.” Harry crossed his arms, pretending to roll his eyes to make Y/N laugh, which worked effortlessly. “Wouldn’t mind a dildo, not gonna lie.”

“Harry!”

“What?! It’s the truth!”

Y/N laughed again, watching as Ellie and Jo jumped out of the car once Fatima stopped it, waving at everyone before they started walking in the same direction. Fatima started the car over again just as Jo stumbled and almost face planted, making everyone in the van – including the two outside – crack up. Y/N settled into her own seat, looking down at her thighs as they drove off again, giggling a little to herself as she replayed Jo’s near-death experience in her head.

“I…” Harry started, and when she glanced up at him, he was smiling that very small smile back at her. It was barely there, making his dimples show ever so slightly, and it made every single butterfly in Y/N’s tummy flutter their wings madly. “I love the sound of your laughter.”

Y/N felt her heart skip a beat.

“It makes me happy.”

She knew that if she continued to look at Harry and he continued to look at her, she would just start feeling more for him. Though she knew it was inevitable, she would fall in love with him sooner or later, she wanted to slow the process out so that she didn’t end up spending too much time with him while she loved him.

“When you said you watched Angus, Thongs earlier, it kinda shocked me a bit,” Harry admitted, talking as if it was all part of his stream of consciousness. “Not that I think you’re innocent or anything like that, you don’t seem innocent- and when I say it like that it sounds weird.”

Y/N bit her lips together, trying not to laugh.

“From what I’ve heard your parents were very strict so…” Harry shrugged his shoulder, looking away from her again. He tilted his head a little to the side as he caught eye of Amir in the front. “Amir! Oi! If you throw up in my van I’m gonna murder you!”

“Shut up, Haz,” Dax groaned. “Y/N, why the fuck is your boyfriend so loud when he’s plastered? Bloody hell.”

“I’m not loud, I’m passionate.”

“About Amir not throwing up in your car?” Dax rolled his eyes. “Brilliant.”

Fatima stopped the car, shouting at Dax to get out and help Amir home. Dax slowly walked around the car and took Amir’s arm over their shoulder, the two walking off as Amir started singing a song that had been sung right before they left the farm. Fatima sat there and watched the two walk up the street, making sure they got inside Amir’s place where Dax would kip before she started driving towards the lighthouse.

The three were quiet for the last part of the drive, Harry seemingly about to doze off all of a sudden, humming Ultraviolet under his breath as they started driving up the gravel path to the lighthouse. Y/N just barely saw the light of the lighthouse before it disappeared, but did not pay any more notice to it as Harry leaned over her, glancing out the window as if to see his house. Once Fatima stopped the car, Harry reached for the seat buckle, fumbling for it in the dark before he finally got free.

“Help me inside?” he asked Y/N, making her lose her words a bit at first in surprise, but she quickly loosened her own seatbelt as Fatima turned around, about to jump out of the van as well.

“Just gonna help him get to bed, it’ll take five minutes,” Y/N told Fatima as Harry slid the backdoor open, getting out of the car.

“Ten if can force a cuddle out of her,” Harry said, chuckling a little to himself as he watched Y/N get out of the car and close the door behind her. She only raised her eyebrows at him, holding her hand out for his keys, which he gave her eagerly. She wanted nothing more than to cuddle him for ten minutes, she’d take cuddles for one minute if that’s all she got, but she knew he was only saying it in front of Fatima to make her believe them even more. He took his time walking to the front door, as if to drag the time out, while Y/N walked on inside, turning the lights on for him. It took some time for him to get his shoes off and while he did that, Y/N looked through his fridge, not seeing any cucumbers but a few tomatoes could maybe do as post-party food.

Harry put his rucksack with his camera down by the sofa, strolling over to the bathroom to do whatever he needed to do. Y/N put the tomato on the counter, making Harry a glass of water like he had made her last time and putting that along with the tomato on the dining table. Once he walked out of the bathroom, he rubbed at his eyes, giving Y/N a smile as their eyes met.

“Are you staying?”

“No, I… I’m going home with Fatima.”

Harry nodded. “You two…?”

Y/N chuckled some, feeling her cheeks get a little hot as she shook her head. “No, we’re friends. I’m kipping at hers.”

“Okay, good.” Harry nodded, biting the corner of his upper lip as he said, “I don’t like it when you’re alone.”

“Why not?”

“Because of what you said about your dad, that he was a bad man and all that.”

Y/N felt a sort of panic rise in her chest and she looked out the still open door, seeing Fatima sit by the stone fence circling the lighthouse, watching its lights. Harry yawned, lying down in his bed and glancing over at Y/N, his eyes trailing down her body. She felt herself blushing, both because Harry was staring at her like that and she did not want to talk about her dad, especially not while Harry was drunk.

“Can you stay?” His voice was soft, speaking with a meaning that went beyond the cottage and tonight.

“I’m going with Fatima.”

“I want you to stay, flower.”

She wanted to lay down next to him, slide her hand through his hair and watch as he closed his eyes, smiling ever so slightly and humming in total and utter contentment. Fall asleep next to him, feel his breath on her skin again, know that he was there to protect her if anything were to happen. She suddenly remembered how safe she had felt waking up here, how she had never slept as good as she did that single night she spent at Harry’s cottage. Never again would she feel like that, Y/N realised. Once she left St Ives in a couple of weeks, all the safeness and the sense of belonging would be ripped away from her. It would surely be like someone ripping off her arm.

Harry sat up in his bed as if he sensed a shift in the air around them, looking up at Y/N with slight worry but also a sort of desperation, silently asking her to please consider his offer. God, in that very second, it was very hard to resist him. Because when he looked at her like that, so attentive, so devoted to everything she did, she simply wanted to do nothing but lay down next to him and do what he asked. But she couldn’t, and with each passing second where they just looked at one another, the tension between them grew and she felt goosebumps up her back. She cleared her throat some.

“You wanted to tell me something earlier, was that it?” Y/N asked, wanting to get them talking about something else.

“What?”

“In the van, when I entered it, you said you had something to say, what did you have to say?”

“Oh,” Harry said as if suddenly remembering. He glanced away suddenly, scratching at the back of his neck. “No, it was… I wanted to tell you that… I know we haven’t spent much time together since the whole… since Terraland… last Saturday- so like, a week ago…”

She nodded, encouraging him to keep going.

“I’m sorry for that. I don’t… The last thing I’d ever do is hurt your feelings or make you uncomfortable.”

“I know, Harry.”

“I just…” He watched her, taking in every single one of her movements as if he would forget what she looked like when she left. “You and me, you know… we were sitting there together and… you were so pretty when we sat there at Porthgwidden, I couldn’t… I had to kiss you. Spur of the moment kind thing, I suppose.”

Y/N did not want to look at him, did not want to hear him say anything else. Had all the nice things he had said at the beach also been just “spur of the moment” then? So nothing was real? Not that she had thought it was, but that kind of just underlined it, didn’t it? She didn’t know what to think anymore, everything was so blurry, nothing seemed to really make sense. Everything was for the fake relationship, it always was.

“Y/N!” Fatima called from outside, Y/N glanced at her. “Say goodbye so we can leave!”

When she glanced back at Harry, Harry seemed to get a little desperate, not wanting her to leave just yet. But Y/N couldn’t stay.

“Y/N,” Harry said, maybe realising that what he’d said might’ve been a bit much. “I-I didn’t mean it like that.”

She gave him a smile. “We’ll talk soon, yeah?”

Harry just nodded, and she walked out the door and toward Fatima who was smiling at her. With one last glance over her shoulder, she saw Harry in the window over his dining table, looking out after Y/N and Fatima as they walked along the gravel path toward town. His hand was resting by the tomato she had laid there for him, hoping that it could somehow be a good second to his usual cucumber tradition after nights out. Y/N crossed her arms over her chest as a slight cold breeze blew past them and Fatima audibly shivered.

“Yeah, would you look at that,” Fatima said as Y/N glanced her way. “Left me out in the wind, you did. Now I’m freezing.”

Y/N laughed, nudging Fatima’s shoulder with her own. The two friends went on back to Fatima’s place, acting as two old friends would.

Monday, 3 August

This was the first time Y/N had ever witnessed rain in St Ives since she arrived in June. It was not pouring down as one would assume after a long drought, a slight pitter-patter fell onto the grass around her as she walked along the gravel path, falling onto the hood of the yellow rain coat she was wearing. The sky was a dull grey, not something one should be worrying about, but there were a few darker clouds hovering somewhere in the horizon and she was sure that with this high of a temperature and the promise of pouring rain later on, lightning would occur as well.

Once she reached the lightkeeper residence, she knocked three times, waited a minute for Harry to open, then peeked her head in when he didn’t. Harry was sat by the dining table, looking through an instruction manual in front of him, frowning down at the pages as if he was reading a language he did not understand. At the sound of the door opening, he looked in Y/N’s direction, giving her a little smile.

“Saw you approach just now,” he said before looking down at the manual before him again.

“So you didn’t bother opening the door for me?” she asked, smiling over at him, but Harry did not answer. This was what she had been afraid of.

Ever since the karaoke and barbeque night at the farm, Harry had not met her gaze. Whenever she had come over to study, he wouldn’t spend too long in the cottage with her and he would rarely make her tea as he usually did. There was something not subtly cold, but different. He still welcomed her to sit in his windowsill and would still talk to her, but he wouldn’t look at her, wouldn’t stay around for long enough so they could talk properly. Y/N had tried, even suggested they go down to the Bakery to buy a pasty and walk around St Ives, go to the Candy Shoppe, or to the pub to have a few pints, but Harry had turned down all her offers, told her they could do it another time. He never really gave an explanation for why he didn’t want to hang out and Y/N was afraid of asking for one. But they had to talk. She didn’t want to go on like this, especially when Harry had come to mean so much to her.

“What’re you up to, then?” She took her coat and boots off, walking over to where Harry was seated by the dining table.

“I’m about to change the bulbs before it starts getting dark out and the lamp’s turned on,” he explained, furrowing his brows as he ran his finger over the page, concentrating on reading a specific line. Y/N stayed silent as not to disturb anything. He got up from the chair, sipping the last of his tea before he shoved the manual down in the back pocket of his denim shorts. He slipped his red knitted jumper over his Elton John tee shirt, the same one he had given to Y/N to wear after Dax’s birthday party when she slept over for the first time.

“Can I help?” she asked, giving him a smile she hoped he’d lay his eyes on her to see.

And he did, lips parting a little as if he was surprised by the suggestion. This puzzled Y/N as she had always expressed her willingness to help him, no matter what.

“Go on, then.” Harry nodded. “Just needed a cuppa before I started, it’s well past 6 after all.”

“You’re going to bed soon?”

“Yeah, and the lamp gets turned on in about an hour.”

Y/N smiled as he walked past her. “You’ve been procrastinating all day, have you?”

“Not all day.”

She laughed and she thought she saw the flicker of a smile on Harry’s lips at the sound.

“I’ve done other things as well, but I need this done now and quickly.”

Y/N nodded, putting her rain boots back on as Harry got his trainers on, the two then jogging in the direction of the lighthouse as not to get soaked in the rain that was starting to fall harder around them. Harry held the door open for her, then locked it once they were both inside. They started their ascent, Harry leading them past his little office floor, past the bedroom like room, up and up and up, till they finally reached the bell room. Even though Y/N was wearing a short white sundress with her green oversized boxy high-neck jumper along with her mid-calf black rain boots, she walked up the ladder leading to the bell room. She remembered how she had been reluctant to walk up wearing a dress that first time, but now she didn’t really care. Harry needed to change the bulbs and she said she was going to help.

Along the way, Harry had brought a toolbox with him, placing it up on the floor of the bell room before he walked up the ladder, letting Y/N go on up after him. For some reason it shocked Y/N when she came up to see that the lamp – the only thing inside the bell room – was not moving. She had imagined that the light in lighthouses moved around, and though Harry had explained what offshore and shore-based lighthouses were, the pattern of a lighthouse and the like, he hadn’t really explained how the lamp worked.

“It doesn’t rotate,” she said, walking up to the relatively small lamp in the middle of the room.

Harry was rummaging through his toolbox, stopping momentarily as he glanced over his shoulder at Y/N, unsure what she was referring to first, then let his eyes fall to the lens. “It flashes.”

Y/N furrowed her brows, walking around the lens to get a good look at it, studying the ridges and different colours of it, blank and red. “flashes?”

Harry pulled a screwdriver out of the toolbox and started working on the screws around the lamp. “It’s to identify it when it’s dark out, sailors can’t make out the white lighthouse when it’s night-time.”

“Makes sense.”

“Most lighthouses, especially shore-based ones like Clodgy, rhythmically flash or eclipse their lights to provide an identification signal. The particular pattern of flashes or eclipses is known as the character of the light, and the interval at which it repeats itself is called the period.” Harry tipped the plastic lens to reveal the five lightbulbs under it; Y/N was surprised to see it wasn’t made of glass. She supposed it was more convenient. “Essentially, a lighthouse may display a single flash, regularly repeated at perhaps 5-, 10-, or 15- seconds intervals. This is known as a flashing light. Clodgy is one of them.”

“What are these then?” Y/N asked, pointing to the red streaks.

“Basically, if someone is on sea and they are driving in the direction of sharp rocks or land, they’ll see a red light flashing instead of a normal, yellow one.”

“Danger, danger.”

Harry reached into his pocket, pulling out a box and putting it on the little space underneath the lamp.

“How many bulbs are there?” Y/N asked, looking at the different ones all attached to a round object in the middle of the lens.

“Five, they usually don’t have to be changed out. You gotta do so every 15-25 years, depending. This little thing-“ Harry pointed to the small bulb between them. “Lights up 15 miles using these lenses. It’s incredible.”

Y/N looked up at Harry, seeing a tiny and amused smile on his face as he talked. This was the most she had heard him talk in over a week; it made her heart do a silly fluttery thing.

“When one of these five bulbs go out, the apparatus knows that the bulb no longer works and it will rotate and-“ Harry placed his finger on the side of the bulb, rotating it to the right so that the apparatus turned, clicking as another bulb fit into place at the top. “-Click to a new bowl, it’s on automation and all that. So, we rarely change the bulbs.”

She bit her bottom lip as she watched him, not able to help herself. It was just so endearing to watch him like this, so amazing to hear him talking so unfiltered to her again. Right then, talking about bulbs and apparatuses and what not, he was so engulfed, so eager to tell her everything, that he did not care how he sounded. He was comfortable. She could tell.

He must’ve noticed how he rambled off, because he cleared his throat and stood up straight again, running a hand through his hair as a slight pink colour appeared in his cheeks. He quickly started to change the first bulb, putting a new on in its stead. Y/N just watched him, finding the sound of Harry working, the slight clicks, the quiet patter of the rain against the windows surrounding them, very relaxing. He seemed to be relaxed as well, so she thought this might be the best time as any.

Inhaling slowly, she leaned her hands on either side of the slight counter the lamp was standing on. She looked over it at Harry, his bottom lip between his teeth as he put the second bulb in its new place.

“Harry, we…” she started, swallowing thickly. “We need to talk about… things.”

Harry sighed. “Yes. Yes, we do.”

Knowing he felt the same way about that made it easier to breathe for a reason. At least she wasn’t going into this the same way she had been going into the Emilia situation after Dax’s birthday.

He started on the third bulb as he started talking, beating Y/N to it. “I, uhm… I want to tell you about my dad.”

This came as a shock to Y/N who was left raising her eyebrows at him for a second or two before saying, “Yeah, alright.”

He glanced up at her over the lightbulb. “You didn’t see it coming?”

“We’ll talk about your dad first,” Y/N gave him a reassuring smile. “We have time. We’ll always have time.”

“But that’s the thing…” Harry trailed off, switching out the fourth bulb, not meeting her eyes. “We don’t. If there’s one thing we won’t always have, it’s time. There won’t ever be enough time spent with your loved ones, there just won’t. No matter how much time you spend or how much time you spent with someone, you’ll always want more time. Always. What you got is never enough.”

The rain outside fell a little harder against the windows of the bell room, the wind a little harsher.

“Two years ago, my dad went on a fishing trip. He usually did this, took a few of his mates and then set off out wherever. They were never gone for more than a day tops, they always returned at night with tons of fish and I remember how Jessa would be so delighted and then invite our whole family over for barbecues and the like.” He paused as he started on the fifth and last bulb. “One day, September 4th to be exact, he didn’t return. Jessa and I sat up for hours waiting for signs of him. She started calling the spouses of the others on the boat, no one else had returned either.”

Y/N absolutely hated that she knew where this was going but she hadn’t told Harry that yet.

“Dax ended up sleeping at the lightkeeper house with me for a month and some after that, just didn’t want me to be alone, you know? He’s sound like that.” Once he was done putting the bulb in place, he reached for the lens and put it back where it belonged. “I think most of my mates and the people in my family’s life tried to keep our minds off it, ‘cause the more days went by, the more likely it was that… you know… he was dead.”

Harry sighed, reaching for the screwdriver, taking a little pause in talking as he screwed everything back into place. Y/N took a few steps back, watching him do his job and make himself ready to talk again.

“The boat was found October 14th, no one and nothing was in it.” Harry still wouldn’t look at her, put the screwdriver back in the toolbox and kept his back to her for a few seconds before turning around again. The bell room was starting to get relatively dark; she supposed the light would turn on soon, and she could barely make out the slight glassy expression in Harry’s eyes.

“I went absolutely mad. There are big chunks of time that I don’t even remember from that time, my brain has just… erased it from my memory, it was the darkest period of my life. They didn’t find any of the passengers’ bodies, there were three of them as well. It had been a turbulent and stormy night, so a sea storm took them out, drowned them all. But I… I…” Harry inhaled hugely, breathing shakily. “I didn’t… I still kinda don’t want… want to believe it. My dad is laying somewhere, far away from me, far away from Jessa, Gracie, from… from home…” He looked down at the ground, blinking rapidly. “It doesn’t fucking feel real. It’s not supposed to happen. This… He was a good sailor; he didn’t drown at sea.”

Y/N felt something starting to sting behind her eyes, she bit her bottom lip to stop it from wobbling. The storm outside seemed to pick up, sounding rougher than a minute before.

“I took over after him because I thought… I thought that, if no one else could, I could help him find the way home. I could shine that light; I’d take care of the lighthouse till he came back home. I’d show him the way, I’d light up the path for him, and he’d come home to me again. Where he belonged, where he should’ve been all along.” He took a deep breath, slowly looking up again, eyes falling to the lamp in the middle of the room. “It was a way for me to ignore the fact that he was truly dead. He wouldn’t come back. I didn’t really… I didn’t realise how… I didn’t realise how true it was that my dad, my constant, was gone, until Emilia left as well.”

Y/N furrowed her brows, a sort of rage filling her again. She had never been this angry before. There was something burning inside her, a sort of desire to protect Harry from everything evil in the world. No one deserved to hurt, but Harry least of everyone.

“I met Emilia at one of Astronaut Lions’ gigs the year before. I remember standing at the bar and she came up to me, asked me if I was Amos’ son – that’s my dad’s name, by the way - to which I said yes, and she told me her dad used to lend my dad and his mates his fishing boat sometimes. My dad and hers knew each other. So, we got talking, and, I want to say it’s ‘cause our dads knew each other, we got pretty close, pretty fast.”

Talking about Emilia brought Y/N’s gagging reflex into full force, but she composed herself.

“When my dad died, she was around, but not as often as Dax, Amir, Jo, Fatima, Ellie, or my family. She visited and stuff, kept me occupied, but the gang spent a lot of time at my place, occasionally rotating. It was nice, I didn’t want to be alone. I love being alone, but I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts then.”

Harry leaned against the window, eyes falling to the floor. Y/N continued to stand where she had, watching Harry carefully.

“We had been together for a year and some then. We hadn’t really fought much, I don’t really like confrontation, it makes me very uncomfortable, so I usually just let her say what she wanted to say if she was annoyed with me and didn’t bother arguing. Fatima kept telling me how unfair it was on her and our relationship, and also on myself, that I never really stood up for myself when we fought. It’s, like… I wanted it to work out so much that I wanted to ignore the things that didn’t. I didn’t want to do something that might cause us to break up.” He sighed heavily. “We were good for each other, we did have some good times, and she was my first ever proper girlfriend that broke my heart, but… but these last few weeks I’ve come to realise that she never really wanted what was best for me the way all my mates did.”

Y/N wanted to walk over to him and hug him. She wanted to console him; tell him she was there if he needed anything.

“I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about that part of my life, you know? I’m aware that breaking up with someone ‘cause they’re bad for your mental health is valid, but what she did really affected me. It made the grieving process worse. I had never really felt truly alone till then.” He furrowed his brows some. “I didn’t have dad; I didn’t have Emilia… I knew I had my mates, but… Emilia and dad meant so much to me, losing them both in such a short period of time… broke me.”

Y/N swallowed a lump in her throat, hoping he couldn’t hear how sad his story made her. “Harry, you don’t have to elaborate if it’s hard for you.”

“No, you deserve to know. Emilia’s back, you’re my… my supposed girlfriend and you… I want you to know.”

Y/N nodded, clutching at the hem of her jumper.

“I know it was a naff move on my part when I went with her to get her that cup, I know I should have understood why you were rightfully upset right away, I know I shouldn’t have been too friendly when she came to Terraland…” Trailing off, he balled his hands into fists at his sides. “The reason why I’ve been so reluctant to push her out of my life is… I know it’s fucking mental; I know I sound right mad, yeah? But… I figured that if she could return, then maybe… then maybe dad…” Harry didn’t finish, but he didn’t have to.

Y/N shook her head as the only thing in the bell room that was audible was the sound of the rain and wind outside, sounding eerie and strong against the top of the lighthouse. “It’s not mental. It’s a very valid and normal reaction to grief, clinging onto the last shred you have of someone, hoping that one day they might come back to you.”

Harry looked at her feet, not ready to meet her eyes yet.

“My dad and I have never been close. I used to love being around him when I was little, I remember associating him with goodness and warmth. He would play with me and make me laugh, do things that my mum hated him for.”

“Like?”

“Throw me in the air, let me jump from a bunk bed and onto the mattress on the floor below, that sort of thing.” Y/N almost smiled at the memory. She hadn’t thought about that in ages. “However, as I grew up, my dad just got colder. He was still nice to me, was still protective and a dad, but he wasn’t the same.”

Y/N could tell by the slight breath Harry inhaled that he wanted to ask what changed but stopped himself. She was grateful he did. She could not go that far just yet.

“But… though it’s not the same as you, I respected my dad’s wishes to stay in Winchester and do as my mum; become a stay-at-home mum who didn’t need education or anything like that. He wanted me to marry well and learn how to be a mum; learn how to be safe at home and mostly indoors at all times.” She furrowed her brows some. “I believed him when he told me I wouldn’t be fit to become a dentist.” She paused for a moment. “You know when you’re scared, and you believe every word your parents say to you ‘cause you don’t know what else to do? They’re older, wiser, got more experience, so of course they know better than you, they know the best thing to do in any given situation.”

Harry nodded slightly.

“Before… Before I came to St Ives, I hadn’t really parted from my family at all. It wasn’t really like I had a choice. They were just always there, and I was expected to be there, too. I was terrified when I left; not only didn’t my parents know I was leaving, but I had just disappointed them in every way possible anyway, so I… I couldn’t stay there.” Her eyes fell on the lamp that yet hadn’t turned on.

Harry cleared his throat, eyes still on the lens in the middle of the room. “Your parents don’t know you’re here?”

“They do now.”

“You told them?”

Y/N felt her heart pick up its speed, she swallowed thickly, continuing to avoid Harry’s eyes. “What I’m trying to get at is that I haven’t, and probably won’t, tell them about the UCAT, or the fact that I’m trying to become a dentist. Part of me wishes that I did, but I know the reaction I’m gonna get… And the other part of me… That part is longing for that loving and warm father to return, the one that helped me fly when I was little.” She leaned against the window. “It’s not the same as you by any means, but it’s-“

“-It’s just as valid, Y/N.”

She shook her head some, looking out at the tall waves below. “You ever get the feeling that, no matter what, you won’t really be good enough, and you settle down with that thought? It’s not this hopeless feeling, but rather you’re just… content with that. You’re average so you’ll get average back.”

“You’re not average.”

She looked over at him, and for what seemed like the first time that day, their eyes met.

“Did your parents make you feel that horrible about yourself?”

Y/N crossed her arms. “In what way?”

“That you were average? Not destined for good things? That you didn’t deserve proper happiness?”

“I was satisfied with life in Winchester.”

“Satisfaction and happiness are two vastly different things.”

It seemed like he wanted to take a step forward but stopped himself, taking a deep breath before settling against the window again. Y/N pushed slightly away from the wall, standing closer to the light.

“It’s like the whole thing with me and Emilia again, innit? There were times when I was happy with her, but I think that’s more to do with the fact that I knew she was there. I could always rely on her. But bottom line is that being with her didn’t bring me instant and constant happiness like-“ He stopped himself, as if remembering there were things he wasn’t supposed to say. “She didn’t make me happy like she should’ve. I was satisfied.”

“Isn’t being at peace good? If someone or something brings you peace, isn’t that good?”

Harry shrugged his shoulders some. “There are different kinds, though. Your life and the people in it should be able to make you feel something, you know? Not being excited to see someone or to be somewhere or to do something, it does nothing. You don’t grow if you’re satisfied ‘cause you’re not moving, you’re not evolving.”

“Being happy isn’t a constant, though. You can’t always be happy, sometimes you’re just… not.”

“How boring would life be if you felt the same way, did the same things, saw the same people every single day? How boring would it be without change?”

Y/N felt herself smiling. “You’re a lighthouse keeper, you do the same things every single day.”

“I don’t, though,” he said. “I might be stuck here in St Ives most of the time, but I never do the same thing every single day. And besides…” He trailed off, biting his bottom lip some. “Besides life’s been anything but ordinary lately.”

Y/N glanced at her arms in front of her. “I… I hated change.”

“You don’t anymore?”

“To a degree,” she said. “I’m happy with the decision I made to leave my old life behind, but now… now I don’t really know what to do. I’m going to apply for University, but what if I’m too old? I’m 25, way older than everyone else there will be, and I… I dunno. I feel like I have to figure myself out all over again now that I don’t have my parents around me anymore, it’s like I don’t know who I am. Once this summer is over and I leave St Ives – ‘cause St Ives, you, and everyone here, are genuinely what’s keeping me together right now – I… I dunno how I’m going to survive. Will I have myself when I don’t even know who I am? Is it too late for me to get a fresh start? Who- Who will be there to help guide me in the right direction if I have no one in my life?”

There was no trace of hesitation as Harry said, voice deep and low, “You’ll always have someone.”

“Will I? I feel lost, Harry.” She blinked a few times, hoping to prevent possible tears from falling. “I’m so lost. Where do I even go from here? I don’t and can’t go back to how life used to be, where do I go?”

“Don’t go.”

She glanced up at him, the lamp beside them suddenly coming to life with a massive blink. Though the suddenness of the light had scared her, Harry’s words had been what got her heart racing. The light blinked in the direction of the sea, the other side from where they stood so Y/N couldn’t see it directly, only the dark back that was facing the mainland. However, she could not care less for the light as Harry stared back at her, right into her eyes, for the first time in what seemed like forever. She felt herself relax at the sight of him, but his words still reverberated through her head, making it spin slightly.

“What?”

“Don’t go,” he repeated, stepping away from the window. “Stay.”

Her arms fell to her sides. “You… You want me to stay in St Ives?”

It took a few seconds, as if he was building up the courage to say something he thought was obvious, but, seemingly, not so obvious to Y/N. “Yes.”

“But I…” She trailed off, blinking a few times as if she were trying to regain composure. “You’ve never said.”

“’Cause I’ve always been afraid of your reaction.”

“My… my reaction?”

“If it would scare you.”

“Why would that scare me?”

“’Cause someone telling you they care for you more than… more than they care for anyone else, and you not feeling the same way… I don’t want to scare you.”

Y/N was sure she had not heard him right. And if she had, she must have misinterpreted his statement, because surely he had not just said what she thought he said. The light blinked its usual pattern, lighting up the darkening bell room as the two just stood staring at one another.

“I thought you only felt like that for Emilia.”

Harry frowned, shaking his head as if what he’d just heard was absurd. “Emilia?”

“Well, then… then that you used to feel like that for her, that you two used to be close. I’ve been jealous of that, after all.”

“You’ve been jealous?” Harry’s eyes were wide, intently staring at Y/N as she continued to explain. “How do you mean?”

“Dunno…” Y/N said, knowing that she probably sounded like an absolute plonker. “You’ve always seemed pretty caught up on her. That you still have feelings for her.”

He studied her, mouth falling shut as he let his eyes scan her face, saying a soft, “I don’t.”

“But- But why do you blush when she’s around, then?”

At the mention of him blushing, a red colour appeared in his cheeks and he glanced away for a few seconds, running his hands through his hair. Y/N could not help a small smile on her lips, biting at the corner of her mouth to stop herself from doing so.

“I get flustered, don’t I? It’s not like I can help it,” Harry explained, gesturing at his face as he took a few steps forward. “She’s my ex, it’s weird being around her.”

“You act so shy, though. Isn’t that how you are around people you’re nervous in front of?”

“I acted like that with you as well, did you notice?”

Y/N felt a breath hitch in her throat, something about Harry admitting this made her entire body hot. Part of her did not believe this could be true, it was just too good, while the other urged her to keep going, see what happened next. She shook her head slightly. “I-I dunno.”

“I was so bloody nervous,” Harry said, chuckling a little to himself. “It was genuinely hard for me to form sentences ‘cause I didn’t want to make a right twit of myself, yeah? I just… I wanted to impress you so bad, but it was so hard.”

She pressed her lips together, heart hammering hard, hands feeling clammy with anticipation.

“I’m not nervous around you anymore, though.”

“You’re not?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I feel safe with you now. I don’t care that I make a fool of myself ‘cause you won’t mind.”

She smiled a little. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He gestured around him with a soft jerk of his chin. “You’re a light room.”

Y/N wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but stopped herself when their eyes met again. She wanted to walk to him, to be near him.

“It’s like…” Harry started, pausing for a few seconds before he went on. “It’s weird being around someone you thought meant a lot to you and you realise they didn’t. But with you… that’s…” He glanced at the ground again, tugging at the hem of his red jumper. “It’s different.”

She continued to just look at him, afraid that if she said anything he would stop.

“It’s… it’s like I… like-“ He cleared his throat, suddenly blushing uncontrollably, and it was as if he knew how ridiculous he must look because he let out a small laugh. “You were the prettiest woman I’d ever seen and I wanted to impress you, I didn’t want to embarrass myself and have you not want to be around me anymore.”

His eyes fell to her feet, moving up over her bare legs, landing on her tummy as he continued to find the words lost somewhere within him. He took a deep breath.

“I’m not good with words, so explaining how much you mean to me is hard, but I know that I… that you…” He drifted off again, meeting her eyes. “You were the person I wanted to be in the arms of at Terraland, when I was all shaken up ‘cause of that ride, not Emilia, no one else but you. And you’re the only person I want to be in the arms of right now, tomorrow, and probably every single day after that. I like it when you hold me, when you’re around. That’s all I know.” His eyes fell to her lips for a second, meeting her eyes as if he remembered that was forbidden territory. She had said as much. “I like it when we touch, everything seems at once much simpler but also so much more important and grander because of you.”

Biting her bottom lip, Y/N walked closer to Harry, and at the sight, he took two more steps closer as well, meeting right beside the lamp that was still occasionally lighting up the bell tower and the entire coast along with it. Standing right there in front of one another, something that could only resemble magic passed between them and circled around them, drawing them closer to one another. They were meant to be close, meant to be right here, with one another. It was wrong to be anywhere else than with Harry. She didn’t feel as lost when he was here; there was a sense of reason, of purpose, when they were together that was so great to the point of invention, there was no other way of explaining it. This, what was between then, was beyond anything. Limitless, unfathomable, immeasurable; infinite.

“I want to touch you,” Y/N said, her voice almost a whisper as she, once again, glanced at his lips.

“Touch me. Please.”

Slowly and gentler than she had ever been before, she placed her hand to his cheek, thumb stroking over the slight stubble before she slid the tips of her fingers to the back of his jaw and then forth again. He closed his eyes, leaning into her.

“Please, touch me,” he repeated, the breath of his pleading words falling against her hot wrist. “Never stop.”

She studied his face, loving the calming effect she had on him because it matched the one he had on her. Though he made her heart race and had her overthinking everything, he calmed her down and made her feel at peace. Exhilarated her and confused her; overwhelmed her and elated her. He made her feel everything all at once, and Y/N thought at last, wasn't that what love really was? When you felt like the feelings inside your body transcended everything, made you see everything around you in a new light? When it changed your world for the better?

Y/N’s hand slid down Harry’s cheek and his neck, and at the change, he opened his eyes to look at her again. She took another step forward, leading him toward her as her eyes fell to his lips, meeting his eyes as they hovered dangerously close to one another. The light blinked on and Y/N pressed her lips against Harry’s. They melted into each other instantly. Harry placed one of his hands to her neck and the other one to her hip, bringing her closer. She breathed against him, the rest of the world around them disappearing completely as they drew out the kiss.

His tongue traced her bottom lip, making a shiver run up her spine. Gently, she slipped her tongue into his mouth, making sure she did not overwhelm him, that it was okay. He instantly complied, stroking his against hers, swirling his around hers sensually, lighting Y/N on fire. She moaned into him, gripping at the hair at the back of his neck as their mouths opened wider, welcoming more of the other to enter and entrance them completely. She ran her other hand over his chest, wrapping it around him, while Harry’s slid down along her back, stopping just before he reached her bum, squeezing her a little as if he wasn’t mentally ready to go down there just yet tonight. The bell room continued to illuminate up, shining its guiding light out across the ocean, helping sailors home and to their final destinations. However, neither Y/N nor Harry could even remember where they really were as they continued to kiss one another. She felt his moan on her tongue, a slight whimper that he had not been able to hold back as they deepened the kiss. They instantly got more frantic; desperate, harder. She pushed against him more forcefully, wanting to taste and feel all of him.

For an instant, and what felt like for the first time since they had known each other, Harry took control. He pressed her against the bar with the lamp, keeping one hand on her neck, thumb at her chin, and the other on her waist. She gasped at the suddenness, her entire body aflame as Harry kissed along her jaw, tilting her head as to get better access. She could not help the contented sigh that left her lips, pushing him even closer to her, wrapping her left leg around his right one as to ensure he did not step away from her.

He whispered her name against her neck, leaving wet kisses along the skin that was exposed and that he could reach without removing the high neck of her jumper. He kissed the tip of her jaw, sucking lightly, and she could not hold back her whimper. It seemed to have had an effect on him that she herself had not anticipated, yet absolutely adored. Between them, pressed against her tummy, she could feel him. It seemed to have startled him as well, maybe not having anticipated it to happen that quickly, but he kissed along her neck again, seemingly not really caring anymore. He wanted her to know just how much power she held over him. He came back to her face, lips hovering above hers. They panted against one another, not letting each other go as the rain outside picked up, thunder rumbling in the distance, and the light that Y/N was pressed up again kept lighting up the ocean ahead.

“I, uhm…” Harry stared down, swallowing thickly. “I’m sorry ‘bout… that.”

Y/N smiled, shaking her head slightly. “Don’t apologise for that.” She brought her leg further up, twining it more around him to bring him closer. As if it was instinctual, Harry reached for her thigh, helping her bring it up to his waist. She let out another sigh, loving how he drew closer to her in the process of yanking her leg up higher. Their eyes met again, and she leaned her forehead against his.

“I thought we agreed on a ‘no kissing rule’,” Harry mumbled, lips brushing against hers as he spoke. “I thought you didn’t want to kiss me.”

“I want to kiss you; I just don’t want it to be part of our fake relationship.”

“This has nothing to do with that.” He moved to kiss her again and spoke against her lips. “I need to ask you, though, before anything more happens.”

She watched him, the sight of him slightly blurry but she did not care.

“There’s… There’s a bed… downstairs if you'd be interested in… you know…”

She smiled.

“In what?”

Harry smiled, giggling a little as he leaned his forehead against hers again. “I don’t want there to be mixed signals, so I’m just… I’m just gonna fucking say it.”

“Say it.”

He gripped her knee tighter. “Do you want to have sex with me? ‘Cause I… I mean, it’s not the sexiest way to go about it, just asking like that, but I… it’s very obvious that I would like- very much like to… you know, if you’d like. I don’t want to-“

She chuckled and Harry stopped talking, smiling at her. “I think asking is very sexy. Mixed signals aren’t sexy.”

“You’re right.”

She leaned in, pressing a light kiss to his lips.

“Flower,” he mumbled, voice rasping ever so slightly, making heat instantly pool between her thighs. “Would you let me make you feel good?”

“Do you think you can?”

Harry met her eyes, a crooked smile coming to his lips. “I’ve had no complaints before.”

“No complaints from Emilia?”

A slight furrow appeared between his brows before it lifted, his smile came back and it got wider. “You really were jealous of her.”

“She got to be close to you.”

“Well,” Harry said, eyes fluttering to her lips. “You’re close to me now. You’re closer to me than anyone’s ever been before.”

Y/N squeezed him closer, biting her lip before she said, “Yes.”

“You… you want to go downstairs?”

“Yes.”

Harry’s smile grew so wide it was hard for him to fight just how giddy he was getting at her words. He stepped away from her, taking her hand in his. They left the blinking bell room, climbing down the ladder, Harry securing the hatch before he turned to face Y/N again. Once they were in the near darkness of that room, they kissed again, desperate to feel one another again. This happened almost on every single floor – pressing each other up against a wall, needy to feel, to taste, to be close – as they could simply not help themselves.

Once they reached the floor, Y/N instantly recognised the door and where they were headed. On her first trip to the lighthouse, she had seen a bed in that room, the door had been half open, but Harry had closed it on their way down. Now, Harry opened it for her, letting her inside. It was tiny. A twin bed stood at the far end, its white sheets made neatly over it, while the desk – which stood perched right under a small window that was being attacked by harsh rain - was filled with photographs of Harry’s family. Him, Amos, Jessa, and Grace. There was a dresser with a vase on top, a bouquet of dead flowers in it that it seemed Harry had forgotten completely about.

Harry closed the door behind them. “This used to be my dad’s room. When it was stormy, he’d stay in here. The door sometimes opens on its own, logically I know it’s just a draught, but…” He shrugged his shoulders and Y/N knew what he meant.

Instead of focusing on that – because they could talk about this in the morning – Y/N said, “Kiss me.”

Harry wasted no time. He marched over to her, pressing his lips hard against hers as he started walking her backwards toward the bed. He let her lay down first, taking her rain boots off before she wiggled up to the top, watching as Harry crawled his way up to her, hovering his lips over hers as to tempt her. She tried to lean up to kiss him since he was taking too long, but he moved further away.

“Twat.”

He chuckled, grinning down at her. “How long do you think you can stand not kissing me?”

She brought her hand up to his neck, bringing him down towards her lips. They kissed again – finally. She felt Harry smile against her lips.

“Needy.”

“You were taking too long.”

“You just can’t get enough of me, can you?”

She wanted to roll her eyes at him, but he was correct. She wrapped her legs around him, bringing his core down onto hers. Harry groaned into her; his erecting cock pressed against her heat. He melted into her instantly, burying his hands in her hair.

“Neither can you,” she whispered back, making Harry let out a breathy chuckle.

“I also just want to make it clear,” he said against her lips. “If anything I do is not working, doesn’t do anything for you, doesn’t feel good, or if you want to try something new, a new position or anything like that, tell me, yeah?”

She smiled, nodding her head as they kept kissing. “Yeah. Same goes for you.”

“Do you have a favourite position?”

Y/N froze a little, thinking to herself and blushing when Harry looked down at her.

“What?” he asked.

“I’ve… only ever really done two.”

“Two… positions?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s fine, did you enjoy them?”

“Yeah, I did. Sex was never really been about enjoyment as much as it was about closeness.”

Harry furrowed his brows. “You should enjoy sex, Y/N.”

“I know, I know. I just… I used to set fire to myself to keep others warm. I realised that was not what I should be doing, which is why I ended up in St Ives. With you. Here.”

Harry leaned down again, pressing a lingering and deep kiss to her lips. “You will enjoy yourself and feel real fucking good tonight, yeah? We’ll find something that works for both of us.”

She smiled. “Time will tell.”

“What do you mean?”

“If I’ll feel real fucking good.”

Harry halted a little as he heard that word slip from her lips. He had never heard it before. She felt the effect it had on him against her. “I’ll show you, flower.”

He reached down to the hem of her jumper and the two got it off her, throwing it to the floor before they started kissing again. She wrapped her legs around him again, resting her heels at the top of his bum, urging him closer to her. Slowly and deliberately, Harry grinded against her, revealing them both of a small fraction of pleasure, increasing the anticipation that was building in the air around them. Hard against her most delicate spot. She felt a desperate need to reach for him, to feel him right there, as ready for her as she was for him, but she liked this much better. Feeling him moan against her, the slow waves of his hips as he stroked his growing erection against the heat between her legs that was aching. His promise lingered in the back of her head, making her nipples perk at the thought. You will enjoy yourself and feel real fucking good tonight.

Harry’s hand slipped down the front of her white summer dress, lingering over her breast where he felt her already hard nipple. He squeezed her breast, bringing what he could of the nipple between his index and middle finger, squeezing lightly as he started kissing down her jaw. An uncontrollable moan left her mouth as he kissed her neck, chest, between her covered breasts. She felt hot all over as he kissed his way down, leaving no spot untouched by his swollen lips. He reached her thighs, kissing up her right one, leaving wet spots that got cold in the crisp air of the lightkeeper room.

“Turn over,” he said, sitting up on his knees to make the process easier for her.

She did as he told her to without hesitation. Again, he leaned over her, nose nuzzling her hair as he kissed her exposed shoulder. Each one of the kisses he trailed down her shoulder place, and back felt like a declaration of love; felt like a promise of forever, of safe keeping. Right in that moment, she realised she had never felt more appreciated or more turned on. She felt so seen, so important, as Harry kept kissing her back, sucking on her skin, humming moans of absolute delight into her that made goosebumps appear all over her. He reached for the zipper of her dress, kissing her shoulder before he whispered, “Okay if I undress you?”

“Please.”

Harry unzipped her dress, leaving a lingering kiss to her shoulder as he shoved both the straps off her shoulders. She took them off, letting the dress hang loosely over her breasts. Just because she felt like it, she lifted her arse off the bed, pressing it against Harry’s hard-on. It took him off guard and he gasped a little into her ear, but quickly took a grip around her waist. He pressed down hard on her, parting her bumcheeks as his protruding cock could now be seen, and felt, outside his denim shorts.

“Fuck,” he breathed as he grinded against her. His hands slipped down further, hovering over her centre, laying a slight pressure on her over her dress and knickers that was exactly what Y/N needed right then.

“Harry,” she whimpered, feeling him moan at her utterance.

“Dreamed about you saying my name like that,” he mumbled, kissing her shoulder again. “Sound even fucking better than I could’ve imagined.”

He placed more pressure on her, making her gasp and throw her head back slightly, leaning it against Harry’s beside her. They grinded against one another, absolutely lost in this seductive dance that they would have no problem doing forever. Panting a little, Harry kissed her shoulder again, knowing that they could not go on like that, no matter how much they wanted, because he would surely not be able to handle much of it before finishing. The heat between Y/N’s legs was excruciating, she could barely take it as Harry pulled her dress completely off her, exposing her naked back to him.

“On your knees.”

She did as he demanded, getting on her knees in the bed as Harry positioned himself right behind her. He ran his hands over her wet knickers, wanting to properly feel all of her now that he finally had her there. It sent a lightening up her spine, making her moan as he reached her bud, flicking it slowly. He kissed the outside of her knickers before he ran his tongue over her, the hot wetness of him on her made her gasp, sweet torture that she both welcomed and hated. Hooking his fingers under the hem of her knickers, he slid them over her bum and down her legs, and. Again, she felt cold as her wet skin was exposed to the chill room they were in, Harry’s ragged breaths didn’t exactly make it better. She whimpered slightly as she felt his breath go from cold to hot, she could feel the heat of his body radiating against her cunt and bum. With help of her hands, she raised, looking over her shoulder at him to see him there, only his eyes visible as he hovered in front of her.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Y/N,” he whispered, planting a kiss to her bum before he went back to the place she had just been. “I’ll make you come, flower.”

“Actions speak louder than words,” she said, panting slightly in anticipation.

Harry smiled at her, she thought she saw a slight wink before he hovered back over her centre. She was about to tell him to just get on with it when she felt his tongue, hot and wet and hard, between her folds. She gasped again, closing her eyes at the impact. He licked up between her folds first, making sure to taste every last bit of her as he had thought about this for so long. He started off with a light pressure on her clit, licking around it, sometimes over it, driving Y/N absolutely insane. He slowly built up the pressure, making sure he did not overwhelm her, staying focused on the clit the entire time. He wrapped his lips around it, sucking lightly, something that made Y/N throw her head back, letting go of a loud moan that had Harry humming into her.

“Yes,” she gasped, fists buried in the white sheets under her.

He let go of her bud, licking up around the clit again, then over it, flicking it quickly while tipping his head to the side. She bit her bottom lip, looking over her shoulder at Harry as he continued to eat her out, eyes closed as if he was eating the feast of his life. Once again, he wrapped his lips around her clit, sucking lightly at first and building his pressure. Whimpering and panting, Y/N kept looking at Harry, the sight of him behind her like that, doing everything in his power to make her feel good – and succeeding – was so bloody hot.

When she had made her way up here today in the rain, she had never in her wildest dream this was where she would end up. On all fours, Harry seated behind her, eating her out. She had thrown away any hope of him even feeling a smudge of what she felt for him, but tonight, up in the light room, everything changed. Everything they said, and how they opened up to one another. She felt quite literally euphoric; static with adoration and completely engrossed in everything he did.

Harry moved up, slipping his tongue inside her hole, hands sliding down her thighs as he penetrated her. She swallowed thickly, biting at her bottom lip before she met his eyes.

“Doesn’t do anything.”

“Hm?” He moved up, eyes wide as he licked around his lips. “My tongue in you?”

“Yeah. Feels like you’re mushing mash into me.”

Harry laughed, resting his forehead against her bum as he shook, she chuckled as well.

“Don’t hold back,” he said.

“Sorry.”

“No, I’m glad you told me, flower.”

“Also,” she said as he started licking her again, she gasped slightly. “Can we switch? I want to watch you properly.”

Harry blinked slowly, smiling at her as he emerged. “Gladly.”

She turned around, placing herself on her back, Harry stopped to take her in, eyes gliding over her naked body in front of him. He cupped her face in his hands, kissing her deeply as he ran his hands over her tits, squeezing them just hard enough before he lowered them and himself. He positioned himself exactly where he’d been, spreading her legs wider for him.

He sucked on her clit again, this time pushing a finger into her. She instantly moaned loudly, burying her hands in his hair. Harry wrapped an arm around her thigh, holding her in place as he continued to lick at her clit, curving his finger ever so slightly as to make her feel the best she possibly could. She squirmed under him, her orgasm coming on much faster in this position than the last, streaming down her legs, her torso, towards the centre between her thighs where Harry was sucking at her most sensitive spot, pounding his finger into her. She tugged at his hair as she could feel it coming on closer.

“Harry,” she moaned and at once he reached up outside her thigh, cupping her breast in his large hand.

He ran a thumb over her nipples as he flicked at her clit, finger still buried inside her, watching as she started moving and panting and whimpering more and more. He moved his finger faster and sucked her bud, which was exactly what Y/N needed, she cried out, moving her hips with Harry’s fingers. He squeezed her breast, and she met his eyes, seeing his dark green eyes under his long lashes, drinking in the sight of her. He suddenly hit a spot that had fires erupt in her lower tummy. Y/N gasped and let out another loud moan, whimpering under Harry as he licked and fucked her through her orgasm. She did not take her eyes off him and he did not look away from her, ordering her to keep watching till she was completely down from her euphoria.

Y/N was sprawled out panting, smiling as Harry came up to hover above her. She took a grip of his neck, kissing him deeply. He tasted of her.

“I’ll go get a condom in the cottage,” he mumbled. “I-If that’s alright with you, of course. We don’t have-“

“-I want to.”

“Alright. Brilliant.” He stumbled as he got up from the bed in a hurry. “I’ll-I’ll be right back, yeah? Don’t move! I’ll-“ He looked over his shoulder as he stood in the open doorway, a huge sigh leaving his lips as his eyes wandered over her naked body. He shook his head slightly, letting out a chuckle of disbelief. “Fuckin’ hell,” he mumbled before running down the stairs and out of the lighthouse.

It did not take long for him to come back, condom in hand and panting as if he’d been sprinting back and forth. He closed the door again, placing the condom on the corner of the desk beside the bed, crawling back over her again.

“Been away from this for too long,” he mumbled, running a hand over her curves. “And your tits are bloody fantastic, by the way.”

She laughed at him, swatting his shoulder as he reached for the hem of his jumper and tee shirt, bringing both over the top of his head and throwing them to the floor.

“I’d been looking forward to doing that,” Y/N said.

“What, undress me?”

“Yes.”

His eyes seemed to darken a bit. “Take off the rest.”

And she did. Keeping eye contact, she reached for the front of his denim shorts, undoing the button and unzipping him. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, the slight pressure and caress of her fingers against his anticipating and hard prick seemed to do more to him than she thought it would. She hooked her finger around the band of his shorts and boxers, wiggling them down his hips till they were far enough down for him to do the rest. One hand supporting his weight, he used the other one to help her take his clothes off, but her eyes fell to his cock immediately.

It wasn’t like she had thought of it before. Yes, she might’ve had some dreams and daydreams involving Harry and her doing some very filthy things, but she hadn’t really let herself think about his prick. But there it was, and she felt absolutely giddy with anticipation now. She wanted to have proper sex with him; she wanted it so, so bad.

Harry reached for the condom, tearing it open and putting it on, hand sliding down his shaft and to the pubic hair at the very bottom. Seeing the slight trail from his navel and down to it made her mouth water.

“You alright?” Harry asked, that crooked smile on his lips making Y/N’s cheeks heat up. She was already flustered all over, she did not need him looking at her like that. He knew she had been looking and now he was taking the piss. As usual.

“How do you want me?” he asked, voice husky.

She bit her bottom lip, cocking her head to the side. “I dunno.”

He groaned, hovering closer to her lips. She felt him against her sensitive spot, making her gasp. “What can I have?”

She tugged at the hair at the nape of his neck. “I want to be on top.”

That crooked smile came forth again, his dimples deepening. “Yes, ma’am.”

Taking a grip of her waist, he rolled around, making her lay on top of him. His head was on the pillow, right where hers had just been, so Y/N sat up. She took a grip of him, making Harry’s lips part at the impact. He gripped her thighs that were straddling either side of his hips, squeezing her lightly as encouragement. She sat up, bringing him to her, sliding him over the wetness he had caused. He let out a shaky breath, looking to be just as nervous as Y/N felt. She slid down onto him slowly, Harry’s eyes fluttered shut.

“Fuck,” he hissed, and Y/N gasped again.

“Harry,” she said, a little breathless already. “I’ve… I’ve never been on top before.”

He smiled. “That’s fine, here-“ He placed his hands on her hips, urging her to move. She followed his lead, biting her bottom lip hard as her clit rubbed against his pelvic area. “That’s it.”

She continued to grind against him, moving her hips as he was instructing her. Placing her hands on his chest for support, she started moving a little hard, with a little more purpose, Harry’s hands on her thighs a grounding and intense pressure.

“Keep doing that,” he encouraged, letting a moan slip from between his swollen lips. She rolled her hips, loving the filthy sounds they made as the rain kept on crashing against the window. They continued to look into each other’s eyes, not daring to look away as if it would bring them back to reality. Because this was too good to be true. Never before in her life had Y/N felt like this. She felt powerful as she rode Harry, felt a sort of strength in her that had never been present before. It had never been like this with Dominic; it had never been this intense. He hadn’t demanded she order him around, hadn’t been willing or suggested to try new things, hadn’t really done it like this. Harry looked at her as if the world revolved around her alone. As if the centre of the solar system was right here, and he was watching the sun about to eclipse, watching one of the most beautiful and magnificent moments in time. He gripped into her with feverish hands, coming with suggestions every once in a while, always letting her know just how good she was making him feel.

“That’s right,” he moaned as she moved her hips in circles. “Right there. Don’t stop.”

That might just have been the sexiest thing she had ever heard along with his moans. She continued doing exactly what she was doing, feeling her entire body heating up as she could sense her second orgasm that evening. Thinking about it, she wasn’t sure she had ever come twice in one night before. Maybe it was Harry, maybe it was the moment, maybe it was the fact that her and Harry were finally letting their guard down, admitting that there was something else between them besides their fake relationship. People who fake dated each other did not kiss like that, they did not have sex, they did not look at each other like it was all they wanted to do for the rest of their lives. No, this was more than what they had let on. Way more.

Harry sat up, making Y/N fall against his chest as he bent his knees ever so slightly. He placed one hand on her bum and the other on the mattress behind him as to help him move more swiftly. With each stroke over him, Harry thrusted back into her, rubbing at her bud each time and making everything around her seem much more colourful.

“Like that do you?” Harry asked, mouth parted as he panted into her wet lips.

She nodded her head, taking a grip of his shoulders to better move her hips. They moved together, looking into each other’s eyes as the rest of the world disappeared completely around them. The rain, the thunder, the buzzing of the light from upstairs turning on and turning off, it was all tuned out. Harry leaned down, placing one of his hands on her left breast to kneed it seductively. He kissed from her collarbone and down to her breast, sucking and nibbling lightly on her skin as he made his way to her nipple. Sucking it lightly, he looked up at Y/N who was squeezing his shoulders, telling him to keep going. Electricity shot from her tits and down her spine, heating up the fire that was building in her core. He closed his eyes as he sucked and kissed her tits, humming into her and making her moan time and time again. It felt so fucking good. Though she moved a little awkwardly, though they made some sounds together that made both of them laugh and heat up, though they were still trying to figure out what the other liked, this was still the best either had ever had.

As he was closing in on his finish, Harry wrapped both arms around her, bringing her closer to him. They kissed, desperate pleads and whimpers left each of their mouths as everything started setting on fire. Harry moved his hips with her, she tried to continue to move hers along with him, her hips shaking a little with the effort. Harry’s lips parted completely all of a sudden, a furrow appearing between his brows, and she felt it. He twitched against her and she continued to grind her hips, moving him through his orgasm. Looking deep into her eyes, he seemed to completely melt away when she kissed his bottom lip, sighing against him as she herself started getting closer to her second orgasm as well.

“I’ll help you,” Harry said. “I’ll use my hand, if you want?”

“Yes, please.”

He removed his cock from inside her, meeting her eyes as his thumb circled her clit again. Y/N gasped, gripping both sides of Harry’s neck. His lips parted at the pressure, grinning up at her. He brought his other hand forward, slipping his index and ring finger into her while his other thumb continued to flick at her clit. At once she moaned, looking into his eyes as this brought her closer to her climax, fast. She moved with his hand, moaning louder and louder as the fire inside her tummy intensified, feeling even greater than the time before. Harry curled his finger just as he leaned down, sucking on her nipple again, looking up at her through hooded eyes.

Everything exploded and she threw her head back, unable to stop herself. The sound of Harry pounding into her at a fast speed, wet and filthy, echoed through the room with her exclamation of euphoria. Harry continued till she was completely done, watching her as she closed her eyes, breathing heavily above him. Gently, he removed his fingers from inside her, bringing them up to his mouth to lick them clean just as she opened her eyes again.

Y/N felt at peace. Her heart was still thundering away inside her chest, her soul was still intermingled with Harry’s, and they would not let go of one another. They didn’t need that lamp, they didn’t need a lighthouse, they could light up everything on their own. She was sure that at some point tonight, while their bodies grinded together and worked toward climax, they had lit up like the sun. What was going on between them, the cellular reaction, the emotional connection, the physical attraction, it all equated to something. It had to. What this was, was greater than either of them individually. This would forever be marked on their souls. Meeting Harry, spending this summer with him, it had shaped her into a brand-new person. That was, Y/N reminded herself, what love was all about after all. Change for the better.

Harry got a cloth not long after, helping clean Y/N up before they both slipped under the duvet in the lightkeeper room, squished together as the bed was way smaller than what they were used to. Harry ran his hand from Y/N’s cheek and up to her shoulder, his eyes following his hand’s movement.

“I fucking worship you, Y/N,” Harry mumbled, the rain still pouring outside. He caressed his fingers gently over her jawline.

She moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around him. They both closed their eyes and Y/N felt sleep coming closer. She felt so incredibly content, cuddled up to Harry and with the storm raging outside. A couple a seconds away from falling asleep, Harry started whispering against her forehead.

“Play fair with my heart, yeah?” It seemed like he thought she was asleep. That it was safe to say this. “’Cause I’m gonna fall in love with you. You don’t have to love me back, but I’m telling you now, ‘cause it’s inevitable, at one point, I’ll love you. Madly, truly, completely. Just… please… break my heart gently.”

Before she was able to form any sort of reply, she fell asleep.

A/N: If you wonder what the melody Harry wrote for that day spent in St Austell with Y/N and Gracie sounds like, I imagine it goes something like this 🥰

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#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles fic #1dff #:DDDD PLS DO COME CHAT ONCE YOU'RE DONE READING MWWAH :DDDD

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acatpersonapparently · 4 years ago

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@plzdonthitmewithyourcar requested angst so therefore I come bringing Jemtoria angst

Idealism must run in their blood. Victoria always looked up to Munkustrap and Demeter because they saw the world for what it was and still wished for more. No wonder their daughter was born with dreams dancing behind her eyes. She didn't view herself as negative, just realistic. The first time Jemima stops her paws to let ants pass she wants to scoff. She sits there for two whole minutes watching Jemima construct walls with pieces of bark around the ants marching path. Wishing them a safe travel, Jemima turns to her, smiling ear to ear, and thank her for her patience.

Anyone would do it, she says, pawing the earth.

ii.

Jemima cries when anyone else does. Victoria would call it a superpower if it wasn't so frustrating. The sniffling, the tears, the way she drops everything to sit there and let the tears flow. One time, Pounce takes a really hard tumble down a pile of trash and she finds Jemima on the tires, sobbing. She tells her that Pounce is fine, He wasn't even crying when I looked in on him and Jelly. But Jemima sits there, shoulders trembling and tears like rivers

He is, he is! Jemima insists. The tears just won't come out so I'm crying for him.

Victoria doesn't get that much at all, but she loves her sunshine girl and her little glass heart so. She wraps her up in the most loving and soft touches she can and waits for the storm to pass.

(Victoria checks on Pounce the next day. After Jemima had woken up and bounced on her way when the sun came up. He's limping and his shoulders sag with hurt pride and Victoria is almost frustrated with how right she was.)

iii.

It's after the Jellicle Ball that Jemima acts different. Her daydreaming girl is spending so much time... Elsewhere. A place that Victoria can't touch or reach. It's like she's floating along in a daze and Victoria is trying to tether her down. Jemima is still sweet and friendly and chatty with everything she meets, but the lulls in-between, it's like she stops being there at all.

Then she starts jumping. Startling out of their naps in the morning sun, jumping out of her skin while they're drinking water or chatting with Skimble, head popping up wide-eyed between bites of their meal.

Victoria sits next to her, shoulder to shoulder, and asks, Where are you?

Jemima avoids her eyes and bows her head, You don't hear that? Victoria shakes her head and suddenly her young friend looks much too old for her age. I just keep hearing somebody crying. And that's when Victoria reminds her that if someone is crying then she would be too and Jemima's shoulders shake a little with laughter and she agrees

They both decide to pretend that nothing is wrong at all now that it has become painfully obvious something clearly is

iv.

One of Victoria's proudest moments is when Jemima informs her that she's going to be the next Jellicle Protector just like her dad. Jemima is practically glittering with the good news. She positively gushes as she tell Victoria about the story-telling and fighting she's learning. The whole thing fills Jemima with a new vigor and sharpness that Victoria was starting to worry she had lost.

That's great... I wish you were spending more time with me. Victoria thinks to herself, Jemima immediately cocks her head like she's listening to something. Victoria asks her if she saw any cool flowers today to snap her back.

One of Victoria's angriest moments comes the next week when she swings by to visit Jemima and ask her how her first outing as Protector-in-training went. The den is completely dark and there's is a mountain of blankets shaking like there's an earthquake. She reaches out to lift them and-

Don't touch me! Jemima bursts out and scrambles across the room, pressing herself into the wall. Victoria flattens her ears. Everlasting, how long has she been crying in the dark? I'm his! I'm Macavity's! Jemima spits from across the room. Do you know what that means?

(She doesn't)

Victoria reaches out, to touch her sunshine girl and hold together that little glass heart. Jemima recoils like she's been offered poison. In that moment, rage bubbles up in Victoria's calm heart and she want to slash and claw and tear at everyone involved in making such a bright girl dark. Jemima flinches and Victoria's heart melts into love, love, love. They freeze, both waiting for the other to do something.

It means that all these voices are real. Jemima whispers to the dark and Victoria tackles her with a hug she can't say no to.

Pollicles attack the Junkyard. A rush of frothing, gleaming, teeth and heavy paws thundering. They rip up through dens and scratch up Victoria's favourite spot to sunbathe. She doesn't see Jemima after the chaos begins and Jemima yells for her to grab Jelly and Jenny and hide.

(She feels like a useless kitten cowering before a storm at the din outside. She's boiling with the urge to do something and fear as to what may be left when she steps outside.)

It's Alonzo who sticks his head into their dark hole to let them know the storm has passed, blood marring his monochrome.

You need to stay calm, He says

About what? She asks. He shifts his weight back and forth in his feet. She does not stay calm

Jemima, glass-heart and all, is laying hands on the wounded. Her red fur flickers like fire. She's the saint of gentle as their breathing steadies under her touch and then she gets up, stumbling. Only the blood on Jemima seems to be fresh and flowing. Victoria rushes forward to stain herself with it.

I can take their pain, Vi. Jemima's words have the cadence of an excuse made to circumvent a scolding. See? I can do this as Protector. I can protect them from all the pain, Vi. Victoria feels a creeping light pour into her, a soft prying into her ribcage. It coils around her concern, her fear, the pain that's aching in her heart at her sunshine girl being blotted out by so much agony.

She kisses Jemima. She kisses Jemima and lets the tears from her eyes pour down the smaller girl's crusting cheeks. She kisses her to stop her and because she doesn't know what else to do with her.

You can have all of me, but you can't have that. Victoria whispers. She will never be allowed to have that. The girl in her hands who loves and cares for everyone so much that it hurts needs the selfish love in Victoria's chest.

vi.

Months of ceaseless "helping" and "healing" follow. Jemima drawing grief from people's hearts and into her own. Pulling out thorns of agony, terror, and fear and letting them bury themselves in her flesh instead.

Victoria hates it. She really hates it.

Your compulsive need to fix things and help people is destroying you. Don't you see that? Victoria tells her, drawing her gentle lover up from the fetal position on the floor. She pushes back the sweaty hair in Jemima's eyes and tilts her chin up to look at her. Jem's brown eyes are cloudy, like she's look at her from the other side of the veil.

Jemima croaks. Her whole tiny body trembling with effort just to support herself. They're not in pain anymore.

Yes, but you are. I don't care about them, I care about you. Why don't you care about you. Victoria swallows all of those thoughts down, but since they're already so close. Not just close as Victoria's hands support Jemima but as two people who have mapped out each other's souls. Jemima feels those thoughts pass through her skin.

But who else? Jemima whispers. Even now, she can hear it all. The pain, the heartache, the despair that seems to be flooding out of every heart on earth.

Anyone else, Victoria tries to communicate through kisses. She wants to wrap Jemima in a blanket of love louder than all the pain that knocks at her door. She runs her hands up and down Jem's arms (Everlasting, when did she get so thin?) trying to share some of her warmth.

Jem, you need to stop. Come home with me, sleep with me tonight. We can watch cartoons and I can paint your nails, brush your hair. Victoria whispers the suggestions to the hazy eyed girl in her arms. Jemima pushes her away and takes a few stumbling steps, collapsing back to her knees.

I have appointments... Tomorrow... I'm protector. Jemima's head bobs with the sleep that always is evading her. Her hands clutching her head, rubbing her temples. Brain flashing between boiling hot agony and freezing cold grief. Mom and Dad said... I have to help people.

But not like this, Victoria thinks, rushing forward to catch Jemima's head before it hits the ground. Those happy idealists who raised you and loved you, They didn't mean it like this

#cats the musical #cause of death: The Softies #Jemtoria #Jemima #Victoria #sad little powerful empath #and the girl that would gladly say fuck em all to keep her #is this confusing? probably #i dont even sorta have a title for this #if i wasn't trapped on mobile I'd add a read more #i SWEAR

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mythiica · 5 years ago

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Obey Me! Hiking HC

Title: Obey Me Hiking HC

Fandom: Oney Me

Character: The bros™️

Genre: hc!

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1151 words

Other comments: someone feed me mammon content , I’m head over heels for him ; sorry for any formatting mistakes, I’m posting this from my phone!

Lucifer

- is the self designated leader of the group ofc

- picks the hikes they go on

- always screaming at Mammon to walk on the trail, it was made for a REASON, Mammon

- walks last so he can keep an eye on everyone and make sure no one runs off

- acts like he doesn’t care about the others but has a first aid kit in his backpack

- has bear spray and extra water just in case

- has memorized the trail map and if anyone tries to say they know the way, he will promptly prove them wrong

- checks the forecast in advance and dresses accordingly

Mammon

- forgets to pack a backpack, but someone gave him a sympathy water bottle

- he makes his own shortcuts because he knows better

- probably ends up getting chased by a bear

- finds fools gold and is convinced that it is real

- complains/whines about his feet hurting and being tired

- wants to go home before the group even starts hiking

- drags his feet and consequently gets sand in his shoes (which he later dumps into Lucifers backpack)

- gets bursts of energy and runs ahead of the group only to stop and wait for them

- “Oh you guys finally caught up, ive been waiting here for ages” (he says, still panting from running)

Leviathan

- had to be bribed with anime merch to come

- refuses to remove headphones and is always listening to music or an audio book

- has so many keychains hanging from his ita bag (not super functional but it’s cute)

- laments about not having service so he records things to post to his Devilgram when they get back

- learns that the landscape around them inspired a scene from his favorite anime and becomes 10 times more interested

- throws burrs at Mammon so they cling to his clothes

- nearly loses a figuring of Ruri-Chan and cries about it

- gets scolded for being loud and scaring the animals away

Satan

- knows everything about the landscape - how it was formed, when people settled in it, why people found it

- reading the park brochure and plays ‘I spy’ with himself to se did he can match the plants from the paper to real life

- gets distracted when he sees a wild animal and tries to become a Disney princess- I mean when he tries to befriend it

- takes surprisingly good pictures (mainly because he wants to save them and put them in his room)

- agrees to prank Lucifer with Mammon

- caries a modest backpack but then pulls out a giant book

- not a fan of the mosquitoes

- in fact he rages at the mosquitos and tries to smack one but accidentally hits Mammon

Asmodeus

- looks flawless while everyone else looks as normal hikers do

- is wearing a crop top and his entire ensemble is matching

- carries a hydro flask and alternatively uses it as a weapon

- tries to charm another hiker into carrying him

- gets blisters and wants to cry

- makes flower crowns for everyone

- constantly taking selfies in different lighting

- suggests skinny dipping in the lake (and does it even if no one else does)

- eats berries and makes a lipgloss out of it??? asmo magic at its finest

Beelzebub

- carries so many snacks (ofc)

- his backpack is massively oversized because of all the food he’s got

- constantly eating unless they have to climb

- does a good job of collecting his wrappers or other trash he finds on the trail

- almost eats the map (he mistook it for a giant wafer cookie)

- runs out of food by the time they make it to the end of the hike and he goes fishing/foraging for food

- comes back with berries, salmon, and probably stolen snacks from other hikers

- enjoys listening to the birds and sunbathing (surprises everyone)

- scratches his back against a tree like a bear

Belphagor

- lmao he’s sitting in the car taking a nap there was no way he was actually hiking

#obey me #shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor #obey me hc

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furry-monster-trash · 5 years ago

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Tigerclaw Kittypet AU

What if once Tigerclaw was exiled from ThunderClan (Forest of Secrets), he got captured by twolegs? These twolegs used to own Firestar (Rusty). This would never happen but I like the idea.

Upon exile, Tigerclaw leaves ThunderClan territory as fast as his injuries will allow.

He finds himself near the twolegplace and heads towards ShadowClan territory but collapses due to his injuries before he gets anywhere near the border.

A male twoleg is getting ready to leave for work stops when he sees Tigerclaw’s body, bloody and battered right outside of his lawn on the other side of the fence.

The twoleg takes Tigerclaw inside his house and puts him in a cat cage so that he can take him to the vet.

Tigerclaw wakes up in the cage inside of the monster and begins to struggle.

When the twoleg and Tigerclaw arrive at the vet, the vet sedates the aggravated warrior so that it can better tend to his wounds.

Tigerclaw comes to once more and is covered in bandages and he has bright colors on his claws (claw caps so he can’t scratch anyone).

He slams into the bars of the cage (vet cage - larger and better to observe his health in) in an attempt to break them. It doesn’t work.

He reluctantly drinks the stale water in the cage but refuses to eat the food.

When the vet comes back to check on Tigerclaw, he hisses and lashes out at the twoleg, but is unable to hurt him due to the claw caps.

The vet takes Tigerclaw out of the cage, putting a muzzle on him so he can’t bite, and then vaccinates him against several illnesses. Tigerclaw freaks out at the needles.

Tigerclaw talks to the cat in the cage next to him once he is placed back in his cage.

The kittypet next to him, a fat dark brown and white tom, says that he’s at the vet and that the vet is only there to help him, not hurt him. The kittypet is named Oscar.

Tigerclaw explains that he isn’t a kittypet, that he’s a warrior from the forest: “I’m not one of you soft, overfed lumps!”

Oscar knows some about the forest cats but doesn’t seem very interested in their lifestyle “Well now you’re one of us. You might as well eat, if you don’t, you’ll never get out of here.”

Tigerclaw refuses to eat for another day and is almost given an IV so that he would regain some weight. Once threatened with another needle, he eats some of the wet food given to him. “It’s better than crowfood, but a fresh mouse is heaven compared to this.”

The vet tells the twoleg that rescued Tigerclaw that Tigerclaw needs to be introduced slowly to other cats, in case of aggression.

Tigerclaw is let out of the cage in another twoleg room, where Oscar and two other kittypets are laying around.

Oscar greets Tigerclaw and introduces him to Snuggles (a tabby she-cat) and Phoenix (a chimera tom).

Tigerclaw secludes himself near the window, spending his time trying to break out.

Phoenix sits next to Tigerclaw and talks to him to distract him “Tell me about your...clan?”

Tigerclaw pauses his attempts to escape and explains in detail about clan life. Phoenix says that the clan life seems hard, but that it explains why Tigerclaw has so many scars.

The vets sees Tigerclaw getting along with Phoenix and allows for him to be released from the vet.

The twoleg that rescued him takes him home and renames him “Tiger”.

Snuggles lives next door to him and Phoenix lives on the other side. Oscar lives across the street.

Tigerclaw meets the other twoleg that lives within the home where he is being held captive in and runs away when she tries to pet him.

Tigerclaw is not allowed to leave the ‘den’ of the twolegs, so he spends most of his time hiding under the couch and only drinking water and eating only the wet food at night.

The twolegs eventually put a cat-bed on the floor for him and he recognizes the scent on the bed, although the scent is very faint: “Fireheart used to live here! These are his twolegs!”

Tigerclaw is trying to leave through the window one night and doesn’t see the female twoleg come up behind him. She picks him up and scratches him between the ears. Tigerclaw still can’t claw back due to the claw caps.

Tigerclaw runs under the couch again when she puts him down.

Tigerclaw is given a special shock collar (a perimeter shock collar) and is allowed to go outside by the male twoleg.

When he tries to jump over the fence to go back into the forest, he gets shocked and almost runs back into the twoleg den in fear: “I’m being softened by this kittypet life!”

Snuggles hops up on the fence to greet Tigerclaw, calling him Tiger, and welcoming him to the neighborhood. Tigerclaw can hear a dog in her yard. “Aren’t you afraid of the dog?”

Snuggles says that she grew up with the dog and the dog would never hurt a cat. Tigerclaw jumps on the fence and sees the massive dog in the other yard (a husky). He grimly admits to himself that Snuggles is very brave for being so close to the dog.

Tigerclaw goes back into the twoleg den and sees that the cat bed has been moved to the windowsill. “The twolegs must’ve seen me near the window.”

He lays down on the bed and sleep overcomes him immediately. The cat bed is a lot more comfortable than any nest he ever had in the forest.

Tigerclaw wakes up to find the male twoleg putting food in his bowl and filling up his water once more. The twoleg gives Tigerclaw a few good pets before leaving.

The cat flap is unlocked permanently now that Tigerclaw has his collar and he once again goes out into his yard. He successfully catches a bird and eats it.

Phoenix sees him catch the bird and is impressed. Tigerclaw is happy that he hasn’t lost any of his warrior skills.

A few days later, Tigerclaw is sunbathing on his fence, gazing longingly into the forest when he spots a ThunderClan patrol in the woods. He can easily make out Cloudpaw’s bright white pelt. He hides from the patrol.

In a puddle in his yard from the sprinkles, Tigerclaw can see that he is more fed and filled out than he has ever been in the forest and that his fur is much sleeker than usual.

When a massive storm is raging outside one night, Tigerclaw admits that he’s happy to be inside a war twoleg den rather than being outside in the storm.

Tigerclaw runs into Oscar the day after the storm. Oscar asks him how he’s adjusting. “I would go back to the forest in a heartbeat if I could, but it’s not awful. I’m surviving.”

Oscar comments that it won’t be long before Tigerclaw goes to see the cutter (gets neutered).

Another week passes and Tigerclaw officially responds to the name Tiger, but still calls himself Tigerclaw. He is beginning to understand some twoleg language and learn the routine of the twolegs he lives with.

Tigerclaw is asleep on the male twoleg’s chair when the twoleg comes back home. The twoleg picks him up and puts Tigerclaw on his lap when he sits back down in his chair. Tigerclaw makes no move to leave the lap and lets the twoleg pet him.

The twolegs take off his claw caps.

When the first snowstorm of leaf-bare hits the forest, Tigerclaw is grateful for always having food to eat and heat to keep him warm.

He sees Snuggles playing with the husky in the neighboring yard and notices how both Snuggles and the husky are having fun in the snow. “I was never able to play in the snow, I was always too worried about feeding myself and my clan.”

Tigerclaw jumps into the yard and almost runs when the husky approaches him. Instead of attacking, the husky barks happily and runs in circles around him. Snuggles explains that he is playing.

Tigerclaw resentfully admits that the life of a kittypet isn’t that bad, that the warmth and food makes it almost worth it. Phoenix says that he doesn’t have to give up every aspect of his past warrior life: “You can hunt birds in your yard and a house a little ways down has a mouse problem.”

Tigerclaw has now been living with the twolegs for almost two moons and has adjusted completely.

His twolegs remove his perimeter collar, but Tigerclaw doesn’t run back into the forest.

Tigerclaw sees Darkstripe a few days later when Tigerclaw finally ventures back over his fence. Darkstripe is surprised to see him alive and asks him where he is living. When Tigerclaw admits to living with twolegs, Darkstripe attacks him, saying that he is weak and not a true warrior.

Tigerclaw easily defeats Darkstripe and almost kills him (although he suffers a wound to his shoulder). He tells Darkstripe that the kittypet life may be easy, but that he will never have to worry about food or being sick again. “My name is Tiger.”

Tiger chooses to stay with his twolegs, enjoying their company and letting them pet him and play with him. He is taken to the cutter and becomes a lot lazier than he ever was in the forest.

When the forest is being destroyed (The New Prophecy novels), Tiger sees ThunderClan cats being captured by twolegs and risks his own tail to save them. He saves all but Graystripe, who is taken away in a monster - now known to Tiger as a ‘car’ - before Tiger can save him.

Tiger leaves the scene before any cat can recognize him and is thankful that his scent has almost completely changed.

Tiger lives to be fourteen years old and dies of old age in the female twoleg’s arms. He sees StarClan but is not welcomed by them because he chose the life of a kittypet. “I do not regret my decision. My twolegs treated me well and were kind. I can see why my father chose to live with twolegs himself. I am grateful for ThunderClan and grateful for the many seasons I spent with my clan, but I am thankful that I found my own happiness after I was cast out.”

Tiger reunites with Pine (Pinestar - his father) in the kittypet version of StarClan.

#tigerstar #tigerclaw #tigerclaw kittypet au #kittypet #warriors #warrior cats #my writing #this would never happen but i like the idea #thunderclan #darkstripe #warrior cats au #warriors au #forest of secrets #erin hunter #pinestar

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might-guys-acorn · 6 years ago

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Its been less than 2 days since my last imagine but my brain wont stop coming up with ideas. So heres another one :) Enjoy folks -🦎

P.S. I was almost done writing this and tumblr hates me so im stressed yo

---------------------------------------------------

"Shika, are you-"

"Y/N, I told you to stop calling me that." Shikamaru sat up on his elbows from his spot in the grass. He had been sunbathing by the stream and you saw him as you passed by on the bridge. You could recognize his figure anywhere, his hair swaying in the grass as he took in the bright light of day on his skin.

"Ive been calling you that since we were kids, get over it Shika." You giggle, take your shoes off and jump down from the bridge. As you walk up the calf-high stream, your pale green skirt flows back in the current, showing off your shorts through the slit. "And I was trying to ask if you wanted to come train with me and Kiba, dummy." Dummy was your most affectionate nickname for him, coined after everyone realized he was some sort of genius. He never argued with that nickname because he knew you were proud of the irony of it.

He stands up and helps you out of the water, smirking as you place your shoes back on. "You couldve just gone around, you know? You got your clothes all wet. Wait.... did you say Kiba? I thought Ino was helping you with your mind destruction technique today?" His brow furrows but you reply with a shrug, "She cancelled. Some emergency wedding thing at the flower shop. So Kiba offered to help."

He looks up at the clouds, thinking about how strange it is that Kiba would offer to help, he was more competitive than assistive. Either he had alterior motives, or he would just show off to make you feel inferior. It was a drag, but he might as well go to make sure Kiba didnt do anything to upset you.

"Its such a nice day, but I guess I'll come along." He says and you squeal as you grab his hand to drag him to the training ground with you.

○●○●

The two of you break into the training ground through the trees, you in the lead, still pulling him behind you and discover Kiba leaning against one of the tall stumps used for shuriken practice.

"Hi Kiba! Wheres Akamaru?" You ask in your usual cheerful tone, letting go of Shikamaru's hand and jogging over to him.

"With Hana. He needed a checkup." Kiba shrugs.

Shikamaru still stood by the trees, slightly irritated that Kiba was alone waiting for you, and smiling at your laugh, and picking on you for your wet skirt. As your best friend, it was his job to make sure no one messed with you, and this looked like a one-way street towards heartbreak for you.

"Maybe we should get to training. Thats why we're here right?" Shikamaru pipes up, interrupting the indepth conversation you and Kiba were having.

"Thats a great idea, Shika." You say, beaming at him, causing him to chuckle a little. He could never resist your sunshine attitude.

Kiba snickers at your nickname for your best friend, but plays it off as a cough when Shikamaru turns to glare at him. With a smirk, Kiba says "Maybe we start off with some sparring to warm us up. Me and Y/N first, then Shikamaru faces winner."

As Shikamaru goes to protest, you happily agree and walk towards the center of the training grounds with Kiba. Your best friend sits in the grass and stares at the sunlight on your face, making you look nearly angelic.

"We've gotta do the unity symbol, like in the academy." Kiba smiles and you nod seriously, walking forwards with your 2 fingers extended. Kiba linked his with yours, crouching to his knees and kissing your wrapped knuckles gently. You burst into a fit of giggles and at that moment, Shikamaru stood up and hastily stormed away.

"Shika! Where are you going? I thought you were training with us??" You call to his retreating figure. He raised a hand without turning around, yelling back in an unconvincely blasé voice, "Looks like Kiba's got you covered on this one."

○●○●

The sun was setting over the treeline, lighting the bland Konoha leaves ablaze in a painting of red and orange when you came across Shikamaru, laying in the same spot by the river where you had found him earlier. His eyes were shut, but he could feel your presence as you laid down in the grass next to him.

"Hey dummy." You say lightly, trying to ignore the bad energy radiating off of your company.

"How was your training session." He replies, nearly snapping at you.

"Good. Would've been better if someone hadn't ran off so early." You tease lightly.

"Wouldnt have stormed off if I hadnt felt like a third wheel."

"Oh come on Shika. Don't be like that." You speak, watching the clouds drift by, not even wanting to look at his face right now. You close your eyes again, wanting to listen to the calm murmur of the stream.

"Don't be like what, Y/N? Don't be aware of the fact that Kiba is interested in you? Don't be concerned over the fact that you may feel the same way? Just stop caring about the fact that youre going to get into something that may result in you getting hurt?" His anger came flooding out of his mouth, sitting up to looking down on the golden glow of the setting sun on your closed eyelids. Laying back down, he says calmly, "Youre my best friend dammit, Im allowed to care."

"Shika? Are you.....jealous?" You giggle, running your fingertips along the blades of grass around you and hold your breath as you wait for his answer.

"I mean. I might be. I'm not used to not knowing the other players next move, Y/N, and in this case, I didnt even know there was someone on the other side of the board." He squeezes his eyes shut, hating that there was no way to keep this to himself.

"Shika. Ive been waiting to hear you say that forever. The other person playing was me, dummy. Kiba did all that, just so I could know if you'd care." You smile at the thought that he did. That he got this worked up over nothing, it was reassuring. He was your best friend but he never showed how he was feeling, so there was no other way but to play him at his own game. And this was checkmate. You had him.

He opens his eyes in realization, looking over at you. "Are you saying? Kiba?"

"You know Shika, its a miracle you ever win at shogi with that awful pokerface." You laugh lightly. You finally open your eyes, and turn your head to look at him. "I love you, dummy."

The sun was nearly gone at this point, but the shock on his face was blinding. It eased away after a moment though, much like the backdrop of this moment, and your heart races in anticipation of his response.

You give him a nervous giggle, and start to play it off, but he leans up on an elbow, leans over your head on the ground and kisses you mid sentence.

"I love you too, dummy." He says, his face still inches from your own. In the nights new darkness, you look at him and smile bigger than hes ever seen. He spent all his time under a bright blue sky, but that smile became his favorite light to bask in.

#shikamaru nara #shikamaru #naruto imagines #kiba inuzuka #shikamaru fluff #shikamaru x reader #kiba

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moon-ruled-rising · 5 years ago

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as the rain hides the stars

read the full story on Ao3...

iv. if i was a man, then i’d be the man

I’m so sick of running as fast as I can,

wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man.

And I’m so sick of them coming at me again,

‘cause if I was a man, then I’d be the man

-Taylor Swift, “The Man”

“The Falcon is en route,” The bodyguard reported.

Daenerys despised her code name. Falcon. Compared to the other code names of the family, Dragon, Eagle, Swan, and Raven, Falcon was terribly underwhelming. The falcon was a bird people trained to hunt for them. It was a bird for enjoyment, not a bird that commanded respect.

Stepping through the automatic airport doors, her eyes and ears were assaulted. The flash of cameras and the shouts of the paparazzi were much louder than she remembered. After six years in Essos, she supposed she’d lost her resistance to them.

As the car door shut behind her, the security detail fell in line. Sir Jorah sat in the backseat beside her, with another in the passenger seat and an armed chauffeur. The sirens on the police cars started up and they pulled away from King’s Landing International Airport and into the busy streets.

The airport was located in the new city. An entrancing view of sleek and modern high rise buildings. Business headquarters, vegan restaurants, and clothing stores advertised themselves in the clear windows. The sun was absent, leaving room for the rainstorms that heralded her arrival.

As they entered the old city, Dany remembered why she wanted to leave so bad. The air still smelled terrible and people crowded the streets. When Dany applied to the esteemed Braavos University, they were more than ecstatic to accept a member of the Westerosi royal family. Dany was just as excited to leave King’s Landing.

Studying overseas was the best decision. People cared less about what was going on in Westeros and weren’t phased when Dany and her security officers were out and about. Granted, there were still a few paps waiting outside her apartment but it was a much needed reprieve from her life in Westeros.

People stopped and gawked at the heavy vehicles maneuvering the narrow streets. Did they know Dany was back, or were they waiting on an official announcement from the crown? She missed being able to smile at people as she passed them and take in the sun, instead she was hidden away under an armored hood and tinted windows.

She tore her gaze away from the saturated image of the world around her and looked at herself in the rear view. The bags under her eyes hadn’t improved and her skin was dry from the airplane air. She was in no shape to see her family again. They expected a perfect princess and the best she could give them was a tired college student.

“Everything alright, Your Highness?”

The voice of Sir Jorah brought her back to reality.

“Nothing,” she assured Jorah, “It just feels weird to be back.”

“I know what you mean. A few years of people not giving you a second glance and now everyone’s on your arse.”

The chauffeur coughed to show his distaste for Jorah’s language, to which he muttered an apology. Dany chuckled. They had grown too relaxed while in Essos, too comfortable with each other. That would have to change.

Of course it hadn’t always been like that. When Jorah was first assigned to Dany, he took his duties with extreme seriousness, as they were drilled into him by years of experience. But when she had a breakdown while studying for her Essos Political Science class, he broke protocol and offered her solace. An odd friendship grew between them and soon enough she had Jorah trying to drink her under the table at college parties.

Despite people in Braavos not caring about Westerosi politics, they hesitated to befriend a royal. Probably afraid of the customs and rules that came with it. There was one girl in her Valyrian Studies class that managed to get over that fear, Missandei from Naath. Dany wished Missandei was with her.

The motorcade came to the front gates of the Red Palace. It had once been a great keep built of red stone that looked over the whole city, but Dany’s ancestors had a great love for the grand mansions in Essos and had the Red Keep destroyed and replaced with a sprawling palace in red marble. It looked even more imposing than the original. Although Dany had only seen portraits of the old keep, she knew the pinkish stone couldn’t have put fear into the hearts of those that would steal it.

Her ancestors knew what they were doing because the sight of it filled Dany with dread. Years of lessons and protocol, always in the shadow of her older brothers. She tasted freedom in Essos and was now expected to give all of it up to fit the family mold. She took a deep breath in an attempt to control the increasing speed of her heart.

The iron gate opened with the grace and opulence it commanded, allowing the princess through. The cars took their usual arc around the enormous fountain in the front courtyard. A silver scene of three dragons breathing water instead of fire. Come to think of it, Dany hated that fountain too.

She slid out of the car, trying to move quickly so the paparazzi outside the gates couldn’t capture her dressed in leggings and athletic sneakers. Varys would have her head if even an inch of her body got published in something so casual. She added the dress code to her list of grievances.

Petyr Baelish met her inside the doors, matching her brisk pace through the cavernous entry hall. Their footfalls echoed in the space, a haunting sound.

“Princess Daenerys, it is so good to see you again.”

“Wish I could say the same to you,” she deadpanned.

Baelish was never her friend and Dany was more than willing to take out her frustrations on him.

He sighed and continued, “As I’m sure you know, the annual charity gala is tonight. The seamstress has already prepared selections for you to choose from and is waiting in your room. I suggest you hurry there.”

Dany rolled her eyes.

“It would also be in your best interest to know that the King of the North, Eddard Stark, and three of his children will be in attendance tonight,” Baelish reported.

“The King of the North?”

“Yes. And his three children. Crowned Prince Jon, Prince Robb, and Princess Sansa.”

“What are they doing down here?”

The North was an independent country. When Aegon the Conqueror sailed from Valyria he respected Torren Stark’s refusal to kneel, leaving them independent from the United Kingdoms of Westeros, but not without repercussions. The North was cut off from the rest of Westeros, no access to trade or military support. Members of the royal family hadn’t traveled south since the last long winter a hundred years ago.

As far as Dany was concerned they were a boring lot. Their names were rarely mentioned in the tabloids and they never did press interviews. They never appeared on TV and the paparazzi seemed uninterested. The complete opposite of the Targaryen family, whose faces were plastered on every magazine cover and nightly news editorial, who existed to be seen.

“The charity represented tonight is the champion cause of His Majesty, Eddard Stark. The palace extended an invitation to them and they accepted,” Baelish explained.

Dany hummed in acceptance of his statement, but she had the suspicion there was something deeper going on. Rhaegar learned from their ancestors to always have an ulterior motive, to never allow a stranger into your home unless the stranger had something to offer. That philosophy was one Dany lived by, although she employed it specifically for romantic partners.

Another set of footsteps entered the hall. The excited patter of little feet made Dany’s heart lurch.

“Auntie Dee! You’re home.”

Her niece and nephew, Rhaenys and Aegon, sprinted through the corridor. She bent down to hug them, giving them kisses on their foreheads. She didn’t want to let them go. The ache in her chest reminded her of just how much she missed them.

“How long are you going to be home this time, Dany?” Rhaenys asked, hope in her dark eyes.

“I don’t know yet, Your Royal Highness,”

“Longer than a day right?” Aegon begged.

“I think I can manage that.”

The children’s governess appeared from around the corner, red faced and out of breath.

“I’m so sorry, Your Highness, they saw your car pull through the front gates and took off. I told them that you’d want to be alone, but it appears they no longer listen to me.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dany assured the woman.

“Do we have to go back to lessons?” whined Aegon.

“We’d much rather spend time with you!”

Dany laughed, “I’m afraid your lessons are more important than me. How else can you become the greatest Queen and Prince there ever was?”

The kids groaned, but didn’t protest when Dany took their hands and led them back up the stairs. The whole way back Rhaenys and Aegon filled her in on how well regular school was going and all of the friends they made. And she praised them for their wonderful jobs and promised to see them as soon as she could before handing them off to the governess.

As soon as she turned around, there was Baelish, looking rather upset at the distraction.

“Your Highness, if you would please pick up the pace. Or you’ll go to the gala half dressed and Gods know we do not need another headline like yesterday.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Of course, she did know. Maybe drinking Red Priestess vodka all night was a terrible idea, but in her defense, she wasn’t buying the drinks. Braavosi custom dictated that it was rude to refuse a drink when someone else was buying.

“I see. And the naked sunbathing incident with the Khal off the coast of the Summer Isles? That wasn’t you either?”

“What are you implying?”

“Your Highness, your exploits in Essos are not lost on Westeros. People talk and what they have to say isn’t nice.”

Dany rolled her eyes, “So what? Dragons don’t care about the opinions of sheep. Besides Baelish, if there was an issue here Rhaegar would’ve told me.”

She lied straight through her teeth. Of course Rhaegar said something about her behavior. And she was confident Baelish knew too.

“Of course, Your Highness. Whatever you say.”

Baelish made a gesture for her to walk ahead of him as they approached her apartments.

They hadn’t changed since her graduation from secondary school. She ran her hand over the painted walls. Scenes of courtyards, gardens, and ancient castles painted like they were straight from a medieval manuscript. She tapped her finger on the nose of a princess engaged in a dance with a prince, as she did every time she passed. The princess was supposed to be the fair Alysanne but there was a surprising lack of a dragon anywhere near.

The plush bed looked inviting and Dany could feel the exhaustion under her eyes. She had too much to think about and doubted sleep would come easily. When she turned the corner she laid eyes on Elia Martell, resting on the ottoman in the closet through another set of archways. She stood and opened her arms.

Dany ran to her sister-in-law, crushing her in a hug. Elia squeezed back and rubbed Dany’s back reassuringly.

“I’m sure you know all about it,” Dany sighed into Elia’s chest.

“I shouldn’t tell you this,” she warned, “but Rhaegar was very upset.”

“I figured.”

“Dany, how did this happen?”

“Elia, I don’t know! I wasn’t even drunk.”

The in-house seamstress was well prepared for Dany’s arrival. A rack of red gowns waited for her. Red was Dany’s favorite and she always wore it to important functions, much to the dismay of Varys. He claimed the color was too bold and harsh for a young, unmarried princess.

“Either way, there’s a stinking mess and it’s stressing Rhaegar out. If his hair wasn’t already so light, it would be turning grey. And who was that man you were leaning on?”

Dany ran her hand over the expensive fabrics. Velvets and silks, embroidered with silver and detailed in black. They were perfect for an evening amongst high born and elite.

“Daario Naharis.”

Dany selected the first dress and held it up to her frame. Dark red knit with a shimmer. Shape hugging with a slit up the back and low cut neckline. She stepped behind the privacy screen to try it on, slipping out of her regular clothing.

“You mean the Tyroshi tech millionaire?”

“His father’s the millionaire. Daario will just inherit all of it,” Dany called from behind the screen.

“Why do Rhaenys and Aegon have lessons? It’s summer.”

“I wanted to make sure it was just you and I today.”

The seamstress zipped up the dress and Dany stepped out and onto the fitting platform. As she turned about, her many reflections mimicked her and the sparkling dress she wore.

“What do you think?” she stuck out her right leg to accentuate the slit.

“It’s a little plain,” a voice said from the doorway.

Dany whipped her head around to see her best friend all the way from Essos.

“Missy!”

She hiked the skirt away from her feet and charged at her friend, wrapping her arms around the girl’s slim frame.

“What are you doing here? I thought you had a family emergency in Naath,” Dany questioned.

“That’s just where my flight connected. Elia called me a few days ago and told me I should be here.”

Elia gave Dany a playful glance.

“Well, it’s good you’re here. I need someone to agree with me on everything.”

The seamstress coughed and Dany left her best friend’s arms to try on the next option. A crimson A-line piece in chiffon, dark and flowy.

“Are you sure you don’t need someone to make sure your boobs stay in your dress?”

Elia snickered but Dany rolled her eyes.

“We get it! I made a bad decision and it came back to bite me in the ass. Add it to the list.”

Dany let out a strangled breath as the seamstress pulled the ties tight around her. The dress was supposed to flow, why did it need to be so tight? She stepped back up to the platform.

“I like that one,” Elia offered.

“Too sweet,” Missy and Dany said at the same time.

She stepped down and back behind the screen, the seamstress undressing her again.

The last time she tried on that many dresses was for Rhaegar’s coronation. They were still mourning for King Aerys so everyone was dressed in black. Dany remembered the dress she chose. Strapless, black a-line, covered in dark flowers that turned silver at the bottom. She remembered standing in the front row of the Sept, weighed down with silver jewelry and watching Rhaegar ascend the steps. And all she could think of at that moment was their father and how gaudy and disrespectful it all felt.

The seamstress pulled the ties of the next dress painfully tight and sent her off. The soft red satin pleated around her chest in structured pleats like a seashell. It hugged her hip and gathered into a burst, fanning around her feet. Dany did a few turns and twists, her many reflections copying her.

“That’s the one,” Missy praised.

Elia hummed in agreement.

On her way to change Dany said, “We can figure out the jewels later. We need to discuss my fall from grace.”

She wrapped a black silk robe around herself and walked straight onto the settee at the end of her bed, turned, and let herself fall. The thick duvet and memory foam mattress broke her fall. Missandei crawled up beside her and stroked her silver hair.

“Remember at Galazza’s lecture when she said that there’s no such thing as bad publicity?”

“I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way for royalty. We try to keep our names out of the papers these days,” Elia stated as she appeared at Dany’s side. “The more invisible we appear, the more the public likes us. Although they seem to love when we dress up and spend time among them.”

Her dark hair fell over her shoulder. They used to have girls’ nights where they would watch sappy movies, eat popcorn, and braid each other's hair. They always watched a dated Dornish film about a Rhoynish prince disguised as a Meereenese pit fighter. Dany would always gush about the leading man and Elia said she went to school with him and they dated for a brief time. She wondered what Elia’s life would be like if it weren’t for the arranged marriage between her and Rhaegar.

“I need a drink,” Dany pouted, sitting up.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Missy asked, the tone in her voice made it clear what she was referencing.

“If I’m going to get through this evening of ass kissers and sticks-in-the-mud, I’m going to need something stiff.”

“I think alcohol is the last thing you need,” Elia said sternly.

“This is so unfair. If I were a man and that picture got out, this wouldn’t be an issue-”

“Dany,” Elia warned.

“-but because I’m a woman my boob is deemed offensive and-”

“Dany!”

She looked to Elia, who never snapped at her, with wounded eyes.

“I know you’re upset and that’s understandable. But it’s our lives. So please, do me a favor, and deal with it.”

Missandei watched Elia with enraptured interest. She’d never seen someone put Dany in her place before. But then again, Dany was usually in the right.

“How long am I going to be stuck here?”

“What?” Missy asked.

“We called Dany home because she needed a time out,” Elia explained to Missandei before turning her attention back on Dany, “And that’s indefinite for right now. You need to tell me more about this Daario.”

“We’ve been hooking up for a year and he wants to make it official.”

“Well I hope you told him no,” Elia gasped.

“Don’t worry about it Elia, he won’t be coming to Westeros anytime soon. And Rheagar would never let me formally date a Tyrohsi.”

“Why?” Missandei asked.

“The monarchy is already in a delicate position because we represent an outdated establishment. Allowing Dany to seriously entertain a foreign millionaire would make us seem unpatriotic.” Elia stroked Dany’s hair and tucked it behind her ear.

“Your Majesty, the hairdresser has arrived,” Elia’s assistant reported.

She sighed and got up, brushing the wrinkles out of her pants.

“I’ll see you two at the gala.”

Dany groaned and Missandei giggled, “You still have to find me a dress.”

#jonerys #jon snow x daenerys targaryen #ao3 #ao3 link #jonerysfanfic #jonerys fanfiction

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swinterr · 6 years ago

Text

Valerie IV

Valerie has been gone for 3 days and her family and Anwar are worrying.

They think that Valerie run away for some reason. But the truth is that Valerie is just chilling on her beach house without a care in the world.

Anwar was woken up by Yolanda, her mom, knocking in his room door continuously.

“Anwar! Anwar!” Yolanda continues to yell behind the door

Anwar groans and use a pillow to cover his ears to avoid his mother’s voice intruding him in his deep slumber.

“Anwar! Valerie is missing! Get the fuck up!”

That’s the time when Anwar start calling everybody.

He called his sisters, then Bella and Gigi starts calling everybody who knows Valerie.

Anwar even called Shawn.

Shawn is sitting on the couch inside his tour bus, strumming his guitar. Beside him is Connor and Brian playing Xbox.

As Shawn changes the position of his fingers his phone rings off.

Incoming call: Hailey Baldwin

Huh? that’s weird, they never really talked after their pr. Why she calling me? Shawn though

“Uh hello? Is this Shawn Mendes?” her soft voice fills the air, but not as soft as Valerie’s.

Shawn holds his guitar on his lap as his other hand holds the phone.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Bella called, Bella Hadid oh and Gigi called. You know them right?” the connection is a little weak so shawn’s having a hard time understanding plus the guys are are basically screaming at each other right now.

“Uh yeah. Wait a second.” Shawn mumbled as he sets his guitar down the couch, he prepares himself to scream at the guys.

He covers the speaker and shout. “Dude! Shut the fuck up!”

“Are you okay?” Hailey laughs as she hears guys complaining in the background.

“Anyways Valerie’s missing. The girls asked me to ask you if you know where she is.”

Shawn can feel the guys looking at him, he felt his world stopped spinning.

Anyway Shawn started calling everyone he knew who has connections with Valerie.

Basically that day was so stressful that even Andrew had to call Valerie’s parents to asked what’s happening.

Meanwhile Valerie had the best three days of her life.

She literally made the best decision of buying the house, although it’s expensive as heck.

Her house has a rooftop, with an helicopter parking in it. All she has to buy now is the actual helicopter. All that she can say is that her house is a dream. A gym, a pool, a library, a game room, a cinema room. Everything, she even have her own bar where she store her alcoholic drinks she stole from her dad.

On the first day she just watched movies on her laptop, ate fruits, went to the gym did some yoga. And on the afternoon she went sunbathing on the rooftop, she drove a boat and went fishing— in which she ate what she caught for dinner.

The second day is a chill day, she went to the gym at the morning and yoga at night. She spent almost her day sitting in the massage chair she brought. That’s all.

The third day— her last day she went jogging on the highway which is still her property, she thought that she the road is a little bit dark and sad. So she thought the next day when she will come back to Bel Air she will order bunch of lamp post, trees— specifically palm trees and other plants also, she will hire people to take care of her house at the same time will plant and will take care of her trees and plants.

Valerie now is packing her things, just her bag. She already did her laundry and decided to leave her clothes there in case if she come backs or something.

Valerie loaded her things on her car and zoomed off.

Before she goes she checked if she locked all the doors and the gates.

The car ride is interesting, she saw some paps on her way to Bel Air. Hoping that can glimpse at her and their family mansion which they kept private.

Its been a week since Valerie returned home from her mini vacation in Malibu.

Valerie and her dad hade some “serious talk” about what’s happening with her these past few days.

Eventually her dad, Virgo, figured out that her daughter and Shawn broke up.

Plus he said that ever since that dinner back in Toronto Valerie has been acting off and mostly sad. Virgo is worried about his angel’s mental health he says he missed the old Valerie, thus he ask Valerie to seek the help of a therapist which Valerie agreed too.

Her dad’s friend, Léon, also her godfather died because of depression. Although her case isn’t that deep. Virgo wanted her to be safe, also for him mental health is more important than physical health.

Few weeks later Shawn is in Oakland. Valerie had literally 4 sessions every week and after every session she does photoshoot and video campaigns for different brands.

Those sessions really helped him in forgetting their shared memories slowly.

That went pretty well. Today Valerie is getting ready for the ribbon cutting in Los Angeles for their hotel.

“You know what Val, I think you should quit studying and become a model.” Kayla, her make up artist slash hairstylist said as she blend Valerie’s blush out.

Her makeup is simple, glowy and natural except for her lips. Her team insisted that she should do a dark redish purple lip.

“Yeah you literally look like a Victoria’s Secret model.” Adrian, her stylists agrees.

Valerie’s looking beautiful as ever.

Adrian is currently zipping up Valerie’s dress while Kayla is touching up Val’s make up.

Valerie is rockin a black strapless beaded gown from Naeem Khan and a black and a black platform sandals from Malone Souliers.

Valerie is basically a model now, so she gotta serve looks, she gotta look stunning in every angle.

They are in Bel Air, in Valerie’s parents house.

“I don’t know I mean I would do it but I love learning.” Valerie shrugs.

“And besides, I’m not confident enough for that.”

“Girls?” a knock on the door interrupt them

They all stop what they’re doing and looked at the door.

“The car is waiting.”

“I’m so glad you guys made it!” Vernon greeted Brian and Connor.

Connor and Brian walked inside the hotel, with the maids giving them juice because Connor is still underage. Connor eyes widen when he saw the interior of the Valentin’s newly opened hotel while Brian just smirked.

“Hi I’m Vernon, I’m Val’s older brother.” Vernon approach the two while carrying baby Laslo in his right toned arm.

“Vernon! I brought my friend here, his name is Connor.” Brian introduced Connor to Vernon.

Vernon and Brian knew each other. They met last year at Valerie’s Birthday.

“Ahhh Connor, Shawn Mendes’ videographer?” Vernon shook Connor’s hands, he knew Connor through Val, she mention that he studies in UCLA just like him but he graduated already.

Laslo squirmed in his dad arms and extending his arm towards Brian. Wanting to be carried by him so Brian carried him, Brian extended his arms and carried Laslo.

Connor and Brian bodies stiffen when he mention Shawn, as a friend of Shawn of course they are embarrassed by his action.

“Where’s the kid?” Connor didn’t knew what to do so he looked at Brian, Brian eyes widen, he didn’t know where even Shawn is.

“Uhhh I don’t really know, he’s working on s project.” Brian awkwardly laugh.

“He better be, I’m gon—” Brian and Connor are mentally thanking Milo for cutting of his dad for saying something.

“Hi! I’m Laslo, I got my tooth of yesterday. The tooth fairy gave my $50.” Laslo proudly shows his missing bottom tooth to Connor.

Connor is about to answer when Viviane walked towards them.

Connor knew Valerie has two sibling. Valerie is hella attractive but he didn’t knew that even her siblings are attractive too. They look like greek gods and goddesses.

“Vernon dad’s looking for you.” Viviane look stunning, she looked like a model. She approached the group and once again Laslo is squirming in Brian’s arms, he wants Viviane to carry him.

“Brian! Nice to see you again.” Viviane smiled and hug Brian.

“Hi I’m Viviane Valentin, Valerie older sister. Nice to meet you.” Viviane hugged Connor.

“Go to the 23rd floor, Valerie’s waiting for you there.”

Viviane and Vernon walked to their parent but Vernon stopped and looked at them and said. “Tell Shawn he better be careful. Valerie is to precious to be cheated on.”

Connor eyes is practically shaking. Valerie and Viviane share the same personality with their Mom, except Valerie is more softer and Vernon and His Dad share the same personality except Vernon is more harsh and tougher like but he look soft.

“I’m literally dying when Val brother asked Shawn.” Chugged his juice down, his throat feels dry after their encounter with the Valentin’s.

The two are finally alone and can finally talk openly.

“I know! My armpits are sweating” Brian fanned his armpits.

“Dude, Valerie’s sibling are attractive! Have you seen her sister, her sister’s hot. Also I never knew Val was this rich!” Connor runs his finger through his hair.

“The first time I met her was when she was staying at her aunt’s house because I thought they don’t have no house but they are renovating their fucking mansion!” Valerie stayed at her aunt Veronica when their mansion is renovated, that’s when she met Shawn, Aunt Veronica’s house is directly to the Mendes’ Household and Brian’s house is just around the block.

“Dude Harvard is fee is around like $44,000 she rich rich!”

While the two are on their way to their designated floor they kept on talking about Val’s family wealth. Brian mostly keeps on talking to be honest because he known Val for years. He told Connor about them having private jets, mansion and other stuff that mostly billionaires can afford.

When Connor and Brian entered Valerie’s room they saw her crying on the bed with her laptop on.

“Valerie I miss youu but why are you crying?” the two lads run up to Valerie’s bed and hug her.

“I just got a modeling gig!” Valerie cried, Valerie has always been the sensitive type. When she’s hurt or happy she always cried. Shawn always calls her cry baby when they were younger until now.

“Really? That’s good but why do you need to cry?” Connor is confused.

Valerie models when it’s summer. She rarely do gigs when uni is starting.

“Yeah you should be proud!” Brian added.

“I know but it’s too much, I don’t think I can do it.”

“What brands are they anyway.”

“Um, Gucci, Burberry, YSL and Maybelline, Adidas, Calvin Klein, Moschino, Stuart Weitzman and also oh my god Chanel contacted me!”

“What!! 9 brands that’s crazy!” Connor started jumping and so does Brian.

Taglist:

@night-girls-world

@alinashawn

@feliciaceciliamariajacobsson

@clarissahunter

heyy i haven’t updated for a while hehehe. you guys still read this? if you do i love you, a lot has happened this past few months hehe

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fluff #angst #shawn mendes angst #fluff #valerie #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb

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littlebitoffanfic · 6 years ago

Text

Insanity

Fandom: Texas Chainsaw Massacre Characters: Nubbins, Drayton, Bubba Relationship: Nubbins/reader Request: Hi could you do another Nubbinsxreader ? Maybe about him falling in love with one of the victims and the victim likes him back? Thanks When your cousins friend pulled over for the hitchhiker, you couldn’t help but be totally mesmerised by this strange person who had clambered into the back of the van. He saw next to you while the others squeezed up towards the front of the van. The only reason you had came on this stupid road trip with your cousin and her 3 friends was because you were going to jump off somewhere and start fresh. You hated them with a passion. Stuck up adult children with little sense of what others might go through in their life’s when their mommy and daddy aren’t footing the bill. Like this man, he was obviously having a hard time and you had done your best to pull over and let him in. He was very smiley, chuckling every now and again as the van kept silent. Suddenly, he started to ruffle through his bag and turn to you. “Look, look here.” He pulled out a camera and raised it up, taking two quick succession snap shots of you. you blinked, but unable to stop yourself from laughing at the strange action. the prints came out and he quickly grabbed them, placing them to the side. “Why did you take her picture?” Mark, your cousins boyfriend pipped up. “Pretty girl, pretty, picture.” He held up the photo which was actually rather nice. The shock hadn’t fully hit you so you just looked a little quizzical. It certainly wasn’t the worse picture of you in the world. “Good picture, see.” He held it up to Mark who quickly reached out to snatch it out of the mans hand but he was quicker. “Not yours, hers.” He growled, sounding rather aggressive before holding the picture out to you. You smiled and took it. “but didn’t he take two?” Your cousin asked and you could tell the line of questioning along with the disgusted looks were getting on the mans nerves. “No, he just took one. It’s a double flash camera.” You lie through your teeth, knowing there was no such think but the group let out a collective ‘ahh’ as if they knew. You send the man a knowing smirk as you turned back to him and he seemed to be beaming at you. “Do you do a lot of photography?” you ask, moving a little closer to him. “Yeah, yeah!” Back into his bag he went and pulled out a bundle of photos. “use to work at the slaughter house.” He presented the photos to you and you took them. The photos were of various cattle in the different stages of being processed. “Really? How long were you there for?” you ask, flipping through the photos in fascination. It always interested you in some morbid way. “Since a child, since I was young. My brother worked there, and my pap. Family worked there.” He spouted off, seemingly enjoying talking about it. “Whats that?” you ask, holding a photo up to him. It was of a dead cow with a strange machine in the back ground. He shuffled closer to you and you pointed to what you were asking about. “Grinder. Grind up the meat real good. Make mince, and burgers. No bones can go in though. Not bones.” He tapped the photo a few times to emphasise the point. “Ive never seen one that big before. Must have been dangerous to work with.” You comment. Someone could easily lose an entire arm in there. “Can we stop talking about dead things and meat.” Your cousin started to moan as she grimaced. The man frowned at her but dropped his gaze and looked back at you. You rolled your eyes and offered him the pictures back. “sorry.” You said in a low voice so the others would hear. he took the photos and stuffed them back in his bag. You noticed him take the spare photo of you and put it in a little sack that hung around his neck. “Do you know where theres a gas station?” Simon, who had been driving the entire time, called back. “yeah, yeah, up ahead. Keep following the road. About a mile.” The man points forward, so eager to give directions. “And where are you needing dropped off?” your cousin snapped at the man. “[c/n]!” You snapped back, angry at her for being so rude. “I can get out there.” The man smiles, looking at you. He was playing about with something in his bag. Suddenly, he grabbed your hand and hauled you towards him, holding your palm face up. From his bag, he drew a blade and bought it across your palm. It wasn’t deep but it was terrifying. You heard everyone scream and Mark jumped forward, pulling the guy off you. in turn, the guy sliced his own palm as if he intended to make some blood brother promise. Simon slammed on the breaks and Mark opened the door, pushing the man and his belongings out onto the side of the road. But, for some reason, you couldn’t scream. Your hand was pulsing with pain and you couldn’t believe what just happened to you. Simon stepped on the gas and the van flew off. The man ran along side it, slamming into the side and smearing his bloodied hand over the side. But soon the van picked up enough speed. “Are you happy we picked him up now?!” Mark snapped at you, none of them really caring that you were bleeding badly. You wrapped your hand in a clean hand towel you had bought just in case. And yet, you couldn’t pull your mind away from the man. You didn’t even know his name. The others were debating about stopping at all to get gas but Simon said they had to. maybe you could ask the attendants there if they knew about the mysterious man. Soon enough, you pulled into a gas station. There were two men stepped out. Simon told the man to fill it up but the man told him the gas truck was running later and would hopefully be here within the day. You were the last to get out the van, and your hand caught the guys attention as the others debated about what to do. “what happened to your hand there?” He asked, coming up to you. “We picked up a hitchhiker. I think he took a liking to me.” You tried to shrug it off as a job. “Seems so.” The man hummed himself as his eyes fell on the blood on the side of the van. “You wouldn’t happen to know his name? he said hes from around here, and his family worked at the slaughter house.” You asked, keeping your voice low which he obviously noticed. “Don’t want your friends hearing?” he asked, dropping his voice. “There not my friends. I only came along so I can hop out somewhere and start a new life. I cant stand them.” You roll your eyes, especially when you heard the two girls squabbling once again. “Aint nothing like them, are you?” The man asked again, an eye brow raised. “No, they think im strange and weird.” You confess. “Aint nothing wrong with being weird. Most of the folks out here are weird.” The man looks around the area although there was nothing but the station. “thanks.” You smile. “I’d hug you, but im guessing you don’t want blood all over your shirt.” This got a chuckle from the man. “Nah, better not. Damn near impossible to get out of white.” He looks down at the white shirt he wore in distant. “Ive heard vinegar is good for getting blood out.” You muse, looking back to the group. “Really?” The man replies after a long pause. “listen, could you do me a favour?” “I can try.” You look back to him. “get yer friends, er, acquaintance , to stay around here for a bit. But you stay inside the station.” The man ducks down, nearly whispering to you. “Why?” you ask, frowning in confusion. “You want a new start? I can offer you one, if yer willing to work for it.” The man raised an eye brow at you. “What sort of work?” You cocked your head, very aware of the sort of work some pervs might ask you for. “Helping my brothers keep out of trouble. Maybe staying here now and then as well as some light house work.” He nodded to the station when necessary before looking back to you. “But there might be some… unsavoury things you had to see.” You paused, weighing your options. It would certainly get you out of the pickle you were in with the others, and spending a few months in the Texas heat did sound kinda nice. Plus, that curious part of you, the one that found the hitchhiker to be absolutely fascinating, wanted to know more. “Okay.” You agreed. “good. Im Drayton. You get in any sort of trouble at all, you tell ‘em my name.” he held out his hand and you took it with your not bloodied one. “[y/n].” You introduced yourself with a smile. -------time skip ------------- As requested, you persuaded the others to stay close by. They wanted to sunbath and you said you were feeling a bit queasy and went inside with Drayton and his assistant. The occasionally checked in with you but more to see if the gas truck was on its way. And then, after a few hours, it stopped. You looked out the window and you couldn’t see them. Frowning, you ducked your head a little to see if it was just the angle you were at. “Time to shut up shop.” Drayton walked in. it was nearly nightfall and his assistant had went home long ago. “What about the gas truck?” you asked, turning to him. Drayton dropped your gaze, busing himself with gather his coat. “There is no gas truck.” You stated, rather than ask as you walked up to him. “Now, now, listen-“ he seemed to get himself riled up, like he expected you to freak out and run. But you were intrigued. “Are we still going? Should I grab my things from the van?” You asked, keeping your voice sweet and calm. When he heard you, it certainly calmed him down. “yeah, come on.” The two of you walked out to his truck. He got into the driver and you jumped up into the passenger. “now, if you see that hitchhiker again, duck. Don’t need him running after my truck again.” Drayton told you as he started up the engine. “You do know him?” you asked, growing more and more curious. “yeah, don’t worry. You’ll be seeing him again.” Drayton seemed to smirk at you. he obviously knew a lot more than he was letting on. He drove out and down a side road which lead to a long path to a white house in the center. And walked down that path was the very man who had totally taken over your thoughts since you first met him. You slid down in your seat as you had been told to do. But it seems you being in the truck wasn’t what stated him running alongside. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Does he do that with every car?” You ask Drayton. “Just my damn truck. Thinks its funny.” Drayton said through gritted teeth as you sat further up once the van was past him. But when you pulled up outside the house, the man was at Draytons door. “Did, did yah keep the girl?! The one-“ He started to stutter over himself, seeming as excited as a child at Christmas. “yeah, yeah, shes in the truck.” Drayton pushed him away as he got out of the truck. In a flash, the man appeared at your side, opening the door. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you out, carrying you while he kicked the door closed. He let you down but kept a hold of your hand as he pulled you towards the house. “Hang on a damn minute!” Drayton called out but it apparently landed on deaf ears as he continued to pull you inside the house. “BUBBA!” He screams into the house, and you heard movement within the house. Someone came out of a side room and you felt fear flood your body. The man, Bubba, was massive with a bloodied apron and a mask. He let out a scared whine and seemed to panic. “No, no, no. Shes staying.” He put himself between you both as he calmed down Bubba. You couldnt speak as you watched the stranger interaction. In fact, you were in a daze until Drayton came in behind you. “He’s right. She’s gonna stay and help with the business.” Drayton walked past you all into the kitchen. “If she can stomach it.” You felt the eeriness of the house take over you as you looked around. It was old and unkept but could be beautiful. There were bones and feather scattered around the place. You totally missed what happened between bubba and the guy, whos name you still didn’t know. “I don’t know.” He said in a confused voice, as if it was stupid not to. He turned to you. “What’s your name?” “[y/n].” You told him, amused. “nice, that’s a nice name.” He nodded frantically before trying to pull you into the house, but you dug your heels into the ground. “Wait, I don’t even know your name.” You laugh at his eagerness. “Oh, its Nubbins.” He called over his shoulder, still trying to pull you forward as Bubba was called by Drayton. “Nubbins?” You laughed a little at the strange name. “Wait, wait two seconds.” He kind of reminded you of an excited child in the way he moved sometimes. “wait, can you at least tell me why you cut my hand.” You pulled back, managing to free your hand from his. Your cut hand had been seen to by Drayton, who had wrapped it up nicely in clean bandages for you. “Oh, didn’t hurt you too badly. Tried not to.” He turned to you, taking your bandaged hand in his own as he looked it over and seemed genuinely concerned. “No, its okay now. Stings a little.” You comfort him a little. “That’ll stop. Always does.” He shows you his own hand which was unseen to and still bloodied but dry. You gasped, pulling his hand closer to you as you tried to see if he had cut himself deep. “Had to mark yah so cook knew not to harm you. so, you can stay here.” This time, his voice wasn’t filled with the same level of energy as before. He spoke more mature, and with genuine worry. “Do you choose a lot of girls?” You ask as you don’t dare look up at him. “No, aint ever met one like you before.” His words draw your attention back up to meet his gaze. “Well, it would seem I owe you a great debt, considering what I think might have happened to the others.” You couldnt help but smile a little as you looked at him. It was totally insane. Everything was. Any rational, sane person wouldn’t leave her friends for dead to run off with some hitchhiker she just met. But you weren’t like any other girl. You were willing to fall into this strange world he pulled you to, ready to embrace the good and the bad parts. “Hmmm.” He raised his unhurt hand to head, scratching his scalp in fake thought. “A kiss would certainly clear your debt.” you saw the small twinkle in his eyes as well as the smile on his lips. You couldn’t say no. “Sounds a fair trade.” You smirk before leaning forward and pressing your lips to his. He jumped, obviously not expecting you to accept so quickly. In fact, he stood there for a moment seemed lost in your lips before finally kissing you back. His arms twisted around your waist and he pulled you against his body. “Bubba, you idiot, yer gonna burn it.” You heard shouted from the kitchen by Drayton, but it was enough to make you jump and pull away. “Don’t worry ‘bout him. Leaves all the dirty work up to me and Bubba.” Nubbins laughed slightly, refusing to let you go, not that you minded. “Oh, well I better keep on your good side.” You smirk, cuddling against his and resting your head on his shoulder. Whatever crazed world you had stepped into, you didn’t know and didn’t really care. Maybe you were just as insane as Nubbins on some level, not that that really mattered in the end. It was complete insanity and you loved it. Beside sanity was always such a fleeting thing.

#Texas Chainsaw Massacre #nubbins sawyer #nubbins x reader #nubbins sawyer x reader

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duhragonball · 5 years ago

Text

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (115/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation. This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

[10 March, 233 Before Age. Ristet IV.]

As the Federation-Jindan War continued, Luffa found it useful to keep herself and her star-yacht in separate places. This kept the enemy guessing as to her exact location, and it discouraged attacks on the ship itself, since no one was entirely certain of how valuable a target it really was.

Following the liberation of Gorrfeg, the Federation and Seltiss' Saiyan Free Company agreed that Luffa and Xibuyas should split up and tackle Jindan cultists on different planets. It was important to prevent the cultists from establishing a power base on another Federation world. Thus far, the Jindan strategy had been to swoop in and attack any Federation planet within easy reach. Evidently, the only objective was to confound the defenders and spread their forces even thinner. Luffa could foil this effort, but only by being in the right place at the right time.

Her secret weapon to ensure this was Dotz, a fortuneteller she had met before the war began. Dotz was no warrior, but her predictions of enemy activity had been instrumental. For this reason, Luffa had kept Dotz's role a secret, and took care to make sure she was far removed from the heaviest fighting.

And so, when the star-yacht needed repairs, it made sense to send it--and Dotz-- to Ristet IV, as Dotz's forecasts had shown no combat in the next several days. The planet was well-defended by surface-to-orbit weapons, bolstered with a Federation fleet which used the system as a command center. Given this high level of security, and surrounded by qualified starship mechanics at the spaceport, Dr. Topsas suggested that they use the time to relax and unwind.

No one, not even himself, took his advice. Topsas left the ship, but instead of taking in a show in the city near the spaceport, he went to a medical research facility and began looking up ways to improve Luffa's recovery time after each battle. Dotz remained on board, preferring to stay close to the materials she used for fortunetelling: crystals, a pack of arcane cards, and various other trinkets most people would deem useless and insignificant. As was her custom, she would sit on the observation deck and arrange these things around herself. Nearby, Zatte was perched on a lounge chair. The Dorlun had at least tried to follow Topsas' suggestion. Clad in a black one-piece swimsuit, she had spent about thirty minutes sunbathing under the dimmer of Ristet's binary stars, but shortly after this she gave up and began running diagnostics on her weapons.

"If you don't mind my asking," Dotz said, calling over to her. "Why do you even have all those blasters? I thought you could shoot ki like Luffa can."

"I can," Zatte said. "But not nearly as well as a Saiyan, or most other martial artists. Besides, I like to keep my options open. Sometimes you can do things with a plasma rifle that you just can't do with a ki blast."

"Well, there's no need for you to check them now," Dotz said. "I still don't see any sign of major combat on this planet. No Saiyans destroying cities or anything like that. At least not anytime soon."

"Oh, I believe you, Dotz," Zatte said as she reassembled a sight on one of her pistols. "You haven't steered us wrong yet, but I'm not used to knowing things like that in advance. I guess I'm a creature of habit. Can't take anything for granted. Anyway, if you're so sure this planet won't get attacked, why are you so busy with all that stuff over there?"

"Well, um, I'm trying to refine my ability," Dotz said. "I'm confident about he Ristet System, probably because... well, because I'm here. The forecasts are usually clearer when I'm on-location. But there's a lot of things I can't make out. I still can't get a decent reading on Luffa, and the outcomes of her missions are fuzzy at best. I thought I had a handle on her son's destiny, but it was all so muddled. Your wife keeps telling me how important I am to the war effort, and how grateful she is that I'm here, but I can't even predict how the war will end, or who wins."

"Shoot, I can tell you that one. We're going to win this war, Dotz," Zatte said confidently. "You'll see."

"To be honest, I don't," Dotz replied. "I can see glimpses of the future, enough to make a decent living as a fortuneteller, but I can't always see big picture stuff. I know the next Saiyan attack won't come for several more hours, but I have no idea how it'll turn out, or what's happening on other Federation planets. I'm sorry I can't be more useful than that."

"Don't be ridiculous, Dotz," Zatte said, "You've been a big help already. The challenge with a space war like this is that it's tough to know where to deploy our forces. Luffa's strong enough to beat the Jindan Saiyans, but if she doesn't know where they'll strike, it could take days to get her to the right place. You've taken a lot of guesswork out of things. Tactically speaking, that's huge."

"Oh. So is that why you've been sticking so close to me lately?" Dotz asked. "To keep me safe?"

Zatte nodded. "My people believe in watching each other's backs. I used to be a soldier, so it was my job to guard the others so they could support everyone else. But besides that, I was hoping to be close by in case you had any visions about Luffa. Until the communications are restored with the Fedender System, you're the only way I can keep tabs on her."

Dotz closed her eyes and gently raised her hands to chest height. She took a few deep breaths, then mumbled quietly.

"I see her," she said warily, as if even commenting on the vision might chase it from her mind. "She's alive. I can tell that much."

"But you still can't see her future," Zatte said.

"No, I can't. I'm sorry about that. Um... I know that made you upset before."

"No, I'm sorry. I overreacted," Zatte said. "My people has a saying: No news is good news. I had to remind myself of that. Just because you can't see what happens to Luffa doesn't mean it'll be bad."

"Is that why you don't want me to read your fortune?" Dotz asked. "Are you worried I'll see something tragic?"

"No. I mean...! Well, yes." Zatte shook her head and chuckled. "It's... complicated. I'm just not comfortable with the idea of peeking ahead at the end of the movie."

"But you're convinced about the outcome of the war," Dotz said. "What makes you so sure?"

"Luffa," Zatte said. "She's destined to accomplish great things, Dotz."

"Destined? It sounds like you had a vision of your own once."

Zatte had been applying lithium grease to a rifle part when Dotz said this. It startled her enough that she accidentally missed and sprayed it on her work gloves instead. "I... I guess you could put it that way." she said, looking up at Dotz somewhat anxiously. "I saw something. I've been trying to interpret it ever since."

"Now I get it," Dotz said. "Asking me to tell your fortune would be... well, it would be like questioning your own epiphany. Even if I confirmed what you had seen, you would feel as though you didn't trust your own instincts."

"Uh...yeah," Zatte said, more than a little amazed. "I didn't know how to put it into words before, but that's it exactly. Wow, Luffa wasn't kidding. You are good."

"In my line of work, you have learn to read people," Dotz said. "It helps fill in the gaps when the omens don't make sense. I think I envy you, Zatte. I'm so used to having glimpses of the future that I've never had to put much faith in anything."

Zatte was about to respond to this, when she suddenly noticed something outside of the transparent dome that covered the deck. At first, she thought it was the contrail of an aircraft, only brighter, like the ionization trail of a meteorite.

"What is it?" Dotz asked, when she finally saw what had caught Zatte's attention.

"Could be a starship," Zatte said, "but if it's coming in for a landing, it should be coming here, towards the spaceport. Unless it's out of control, or a hostile..."

"But... but that's impossible," Dotz said. "If the Saiyans were going to invade this planet, I'm sure I would have foreseen it. I might have gotten the hour or the number wrong, but I'm sure I would have seen something, unless..."

"Let's check it out," Zatte said. She grabbed the beach robe off the chair and a holster belt containing the weapons she had already finished cleaning. "You should probably come with me to the bridge. It'll be safer there."

*******

The people of Ristet IV had orange, scaly skin and long muzzles. As the planet's Supergovernor was currently on trial for conflicts of interest related to his vast toothpaste business holdings, the vice-Supergovernor had been the head-of-state for the past sixteen months. He conducted his business in the Red Manor, located at Number 1, Supergovernor Street, Supergovernor City, postal code 00001. In front of the Red Manor was a reflection pool, which was something of a tourist attraction to visitors to Supergovernor City. It was now gone, replaced by a crater thirty feet wide, with a small pod resting at the bottom. Moments after arriving, its lone occupant stepped out, marched into the Red Manor, and introduced himself to the vice-Supergovernor.

"It's pretty simple stuff," he said to the vice-Supergovernor and his staff. His skin was pale pink, and his unkempt hair hung from his scalp like the fronds on a tropical tree. But what caught everyone's attention was the invader's long furry tail, which waved lazily from a hole in his black trunks as he spoke.

"You all know what I am, and what I can do, and what I must have done to the fleet up there to get this far, right? Well that's it, then. I don't see why we should waste time fighting then. I mean, I like fighting, sure, but your best defenses were topside, and I already took care of those. Calling for help won't work either, thanks to the jamming device I left in orbit."

"What are your terms?" the vice-Supergovernor asked. Diplomacy was not his strong suit, though in this situation, flowery speeches weren't going to change the situation.

"I like that," the invader said. "Straight and to the point. I have friends coming over, and they need a place to stay. You will disable your defenses, you will allow them land here without a fight, and no one gets hurt. Before you know it, we'll be on our way, but you'll get to keep all your fancy buildings and weapons when it's over."

One of the chiefs-of-staff spoke up. "This planet is a Federation world," she protested. "You're asking us to betray--"

The invader pointed his finger at her and fired a ki blast through her chest, killing her instantly. "As of twenty minutes ago," he replied, "you people got cut off from the Federation, whether you wanted to or not. All I'm asking you to do is look out for yourselves. Once my guys are gone, you'll be free to patch things up with your buddies, assuming any of 'em are still around. So what'll it be? If you want to make a go of it, that's fine with me, but this little barnhouse of yours will be the first to go, along with everyone in it. Now, do we have an understanding?"

The vice-Supergovernor looked down at his chief-of-staff's body and nodded mournfully.

"Good," said the invader. "First thing you can do for me is have someone put my ship in storage. Some place with some high security. I don't want any busybodies fooling around with it while I wait for my buddies."

"We'll put it in the highest-security facility we have," the vice-Supergovernor said. "I can assure you, no one will even find it, much less tamper with it."

"Good boy," the invader said with a smile.

*******

[11 March, 233 Before Age. Ristet IV.]

"He's not a Saiyan," Zatte said.

"How did you figure that out?" Dotz asked.

"Because I'm sitting inside his ship," Zatte explained. "He wiped most of the logs, he didn't bother to clear the internal sensors, which identify the most recent passenger as a felinoid species. Felinoids have tails like Saiyans, so they sort of look like Saiyans, but they're not."

Zatte was somewhat obsessive over these kinds of matters. Over the past 23 hours, she had tracked down the incoming ship to the Red Manor's front lawn, learned the ship had been removed by government agents, and traced it to a secret storage facility. There were passcodes and sensor grids to overcome, but her ability to manipulate energy made this a fairly simple task. She was still wearing the swimsuit and beach robe from when she had first spotted the ship. Changing clothes had seemed like a luxury she couldn't afford, and so she hadn't bothered.

Someone, probably the felinoid, had done something to jam planetwide communications, but this apparently only applied to off-world communications. With the star-yacht on the planet's surface, she could read Dotz just fine on her earpiece.

"Well, could he have had a felinoid on board with him?" Dotz suggested.

Zatte smiled at the thought. "You wouldn't say that if you were here," she replied. This is definitely a one-seater. It looks more like an escape pod with a stardrive built onto it. When this is over, I might want to take this baby with us. Luffa could get some use out of a little ship like this."

"Um, I don't really understand then," Dotz said. "Why would someone try to impersonate a Saiyan like this? Especially in a war with Saiyans on both sides?"

"He's probably an opportunist," Zatte said. "Luffa's dealt with these types before. They show up on a planet, and shake down the population for whatever they can get, and the planet's leaders cooperate just to get rid of them. A lot of actual Saiyans pull this trick, but plenty of other aliens do it too, anyone strong enough to blow up buildings and cities with their ki energy. He may only be using the war as a cover. He can play at being a Saiyan and trick his victims into thinking he's got backup when he really doesn't. That's probably why the Federation hasn't stepped in yet. They may think he's with the cult, and they don't know what the situation on the ground is."

"But you can shut off his jammer and tell them what's really going on, right?" Dotz asked.

"Afraid not," Zatte said. "I was hoping he had some kind of controller for it on his ship, but I can't find anything like that. I could try using his navigational computer to backtrack his flight path, maybe find out where he left it, but if he was smart, his gadget has thrusters and a cloaking device."

"Oh! But you could take his ship into orbit, outside the range of the jamming device!" Dotz suggested. "Then you could summon the fleet that way!"

"No. If he finds out, I'll be a sitting duck, or he might get desperate enough to hurt people on the surface. Besides, Luffa's forces are stretched thin enough already. I'd rather tackle this guy by myself, save them the trouble."

"By yourself? But... but how?" Dotz asked.

"I haven't worked that out yet," Zatte said. She opened the hatch on the pod and lifted herself out of it, only to spot a guard making his rounds. Normally, her powers made this a simple matter, as she could simply warp light around herself to become effectively invisible. This time, however, she had to deal with the ship, and make certain the hatch was closed before the guard could happen to notice. While she struggled to close it as quickly and quietly as possible, Dotz continued to speak into her ear.

"It's just... I didn't even see any of this coming," she said. "If there's going to be major combat on this planet, and soon, then I have no idea how it will turn out. And I haven't read your fortune either, so if you go to face him, then... well, anything could happen. You might die!"

There was an audible clack as Zatte finished closing the hatch, one that she couldn't avoid, and one that the guard couldn't help but overhear. Luckily, the acoustics of the storehouse seemed to be in her favor, and the guard wandered off in a different direction. If he ever came back to check the pod, Zatte would be long gone.

"Anything's possible," Zatte whispered as she crawled through the metal racks. Upon reaching the skylight she had used to gain entry, she slipped inside and closed it behind her, then leaped down from the roof and made her way on foot to an airbike she had stowed in the bushes. "Personally, I like my chances. It's a risk, but an acceptable one."

"But if something goes wrong--"

"It won't," Zatte said. "I'm sure of it, just like I'm sure we'll win the war."

"Oh."

Zatte powered up the bike and sped along a dirt road. Once she was certain that she was on a public highway, she dropped the invisibility effect she had used and took a roundabout path back to the spaceport.

Why can't you believe?" Zatte asked. "You told me before that your power can't foresee everything."

"Because even the things I do see are uncertain," Dotz said. "I know Luffa's alive--for the moment--but not much else. She could be fighting for her life right now, or maybe the battle's already over. I find it's best to react to situations as they happen. Let things play out and gather more information."

"Why did you join us?" Zatte asked. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have you on board, but you've got no obligations here."

"I had a vision that someone like Luffa would help me, not long before she showed up to bring me out of the coma I was in. I also knew that my powers would begin to change around the same time that happened. I'm... evolving. I don't know how else to put it. I can't see into Luffa's future, for whatever reason. I think that might he a sign. Either way, she helped me once, and she might help me again. And since I can't predict whether or not she can help me, I'll...um... have to stay nearby and find out the old fashioned way."

"Okay, but is that worth riding out a war?" Zatte asked.

"Uh... maybe not, but I have to find out. For you, it's a matter of faith. A foregone conclusion. For me, it's a mystery."

"Huh. Well, I'll be back at the ship in about half an hour. Maybe I can take some of the mystery out of how to take this felinoid down."

*******

At the spaceport's medical facility, Dr. Topsas was poring over data on comparative Saiyan biology. There was very little useful information on Saiyan-specific medicine, as so few Saiyans bothered to seek treatment. Much of what Topsas knew was self-taught, or accomplished through his own requests, such as the scans conducted on Bigreen shortly after Luffa first transformed into a Super Saiyan.

He had begun his research on Ristet IV by asking a fairly simple question about feet. Luffa's left foot had been run through with a beam of ki energy, and this had caused some substantial tendon damage. Topsas had stitched her back together, but his preference would have been for Luffa to rest and let the wound heal. As it was, she simply had no time for this. The battle in the Fedender System was simply too critical.

"They'll die if I don't get over there, Doc," she had said to him before leaving. "What kind of a Super Saiyan would I be if I just sat around here taking it easy?"

"The healthy kind," was probably what he had said to her in reply, but her words had left a greater impression on him than he had let on, for they reminded him of an expression from his own culture. His species was of an arachnoid biology, possessing eight limbs, each terminating with a hand, and eight eyes, positioned about the head in such a way as to see in virtually any direction. In his youth, he had asked his pastor why they had so many more eyes and limbs than other beings. At that age, Topsas had already become interested in vertebrate biology, and the bipedal anatomy that often accompanied it. What strange creatures they were, to manage with only two eyes and two legs and two hands.

His pastor had explained that their people had been blessed with extra limbs and eyes, so that they would always be able to see those in need, and lend a hand to those who needed it. This, more than anything, was what had inspired him to become a physician. But it had always been a matter of helping the less fortunate. His patients were sick, injured beings in need of his care, and once he had healed them, his work was done. He had always thought that he was drawn to Luffa because she needed more care than most; more than she was willing to admit.

But over time, he had begun to realize that it was more than that. In her own way, Luffa had taken on his brand of charity, and he began to see that there was more at stake than simply keeping her healthy. Kept in sickbay, and allowed to recover in full, Luffa could save no one but herself. In the field, she could save thousands, or even millions. Everything hinged on how quickly Dr. Topsas could get her back in action.

He had always loathed this aspect of sports medicine, which prioritized schedules and purses over the health of the athlete. It encouraged risk taking and corner-cutting in the name of getting a warm body into the game. But now the schedule was a war, and the purse was innocent lives. He knew how to heal her, but that wasn't enough anymore. He had to find a way to do even better.

And so, his original query had transformed into a wider search for other treatments. He began to stray into the unorthodox, the experimental, the techniques and prescriptions that he never would have considered before, because he lacked the confidence in his own ability to administer them. And his response to the challenge was always that he would have to rise to the occasion. If a better doctor was what the galaxy needed now, then he would do all that he could to become one. He had, after all, too many eyes and too many hands not to try.

*******

While Topsas worked, his absence went mostly unnoticed by his shipmates, who assumed he was enjoying a much-needed day off. Zatte saw no way the doctor could help, and she preferred not to burden him with this latest crisis. Whoever this invader was, she was at least grateful to the felinoid for keeping a low profile.

She now stood in the conference room of the ship, eating a bowl of cereal as she tweaked a holographic model of a city block. On one particular building, a pair of fourth-story windows were ringed with glowing red rectangles. Thin beams of green light extended out from these windows and pointed to various other buildings in the vicinity.

She was still dressed in the black swimsuit, beach robe, gloves and boots she had been wearing before. Her face was somewhat drawn from lack of sleep, and her hair was messier, but otherwise she looked essentially the same as when this had all begun.

"Up here would be the best spot," Zatte said, pointing her spoon at a tall building on the edge of the hologram. "The altitude, the distance from the target, it's perfect. I could get off three or four shots and still get out of there before he'd ever find me. The only problem is the angle."

She put the spoon back in the bowl and tapped a few keys on the table's computer console, which displayed an image over the holographic city. It was the view from a telescopic sight, which showed the very edge of a window.

"His hotel room has two windows and I can only line up with one of them from up there. And I had to do some pretty daring stuff with some climbing gear to make that work. On top of that, I'd need him to be standing right next to the window to hit a vital area."

"What if something happened outside?" Dotz suggested. "You could stage a diversion, something big enough to make him look outside to see what it was."

"Maybe, but it'd all be for nothing if he looks out of the other window that I can't hit," Zatte said with a sigh. "And it's not like we could just try again until it works. Sooner or later, he'd get suspicious, or he might just stop taking the bait. I thought about sabotaging his place, maybe screw up the plumbing enough that he'd get fed up and move to another room, but I don't want to drag things out this long. I really just want to climb up there and take the shot."

She set down her bowl with more force than she intended, then dropped into one of the executive chairs with a frustrated groan. "You know," Dotz said, "I'm just impressed that you can hit anything from that far away." She got up from her seat, carefully holding the folds of her purple garments so as not to disturb the cards and crystals she had laid on the table, and pointed at the thread of green light that represented Zatte's proposed line of fire. "I mean, this is over two miles, isn't it?"

"Nearly three," Zatte said. "I've made longer shots than that without a problem. It's just a matter of taking the wind into account, keeping a steady hand. I had to get used to using the scope with my left eye, but that didn't take long."

"Your eye," Dotz said. "You lost it in a battle, didn't you?"

"That's right," Zatte said. "Was that a psychic reading, or simple deduction?"

"Well, deduction," Dotz said. "You said you were a soldier, and you seem pretty stubborn in your own way. Did you want me to divine something more than that?"

"Sure, why not?" Zatte said. "I just need to get my mind off of this for a while."

"I'll need to see your eyepatch," Dotz said. "If that's all right."

Zatte hesitated, then turned away and removed it from her face. She handed it to Dotz, but only after making sure to conceal her injured eye with her free hand.

"I only take it off when I'm alone, or with Luffa," Zatte said. It's a personal thing."

"I understand," Dotz said. She cradled the patch in her hands for a moment, and made an intrigued noise as she closed her eyes. "You didn't think she was coming back that day," Dotz said. "When the shrapnel hit you in the face, you thought you were going to die, and that you'd never see her again."

Zatte didn't know how to respond to this. She tensed the hand she was holding over her sightless prosthetic eye.

"But you didn't die, and then she came back to fight alongside you. When you pray, you thank Providence for allowing you to keep one eye so you could see her return that day."

"That's... H-how? I never told anyone that. Luffa doesn't even know, unless she picked it up from me telepathically, but we don't..."

"You still feel it in your skull sometimes," Dotz went on. "Um, your eye, that is. Sometimes, it's like you never lost it, and it's still there, aching a little."

"Okay, I think I want that back," Zatte said. "This is getting a little too personal."

"Sorry," Dotz said. As she slid the patch across the table, she paused to look at the hologram. "Um...What are these other green lines?" she asked.

"Oh, those," Zatte said. "I tried finding better angles to shoot from, but they're all too close to the target."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Dotz asked. "I don't know a lot about guns, but..."

Zatte straightened her eyepatch and checked her hair to make sure it was free of the strap. "It would be, but the shot from those points isn't a whole lot better than the one I want," she explained. So the difficulty would be lower, but there's still a good chance that I miss, and then he comes barrelling out of the window to find the shooter." She pointed at the far edge of the map. "If I'm shooting from there, and I miss, it's not as big a deal, because I'd have time to get away and hide. But from over here--" Now she pointed at a closer position, on the roof of a department store. "--he'd be on me in seconds."

"But you can make yourself invisible," Dotz said. "And you can mask your ki."

"Sure, but he could set off an explosion big enough to catch me before that would do me any good," Zatte explained. "I don't know exactly how strong he is, but I got a decent idea when I tracked him down to his place. He's definitely strong enough that I can't afford any mistakes. One shot is all I get. If it weren't for these damn windows!"

"Well, why not turn part of the wall invisible?" Dotz suggested. "You can do that too, can't you?"

"It's not quite that simple," Zatte said. She lifted her spoon and it slowly began to vanish from sight. "What I'm doing here is bending light waves around an object. The spoon is unchanged, but you can't see it because I'm not allowing light to bounce off of it and into your eyes." She then held up her free hand and placed it behind the spoon. "You can see my hand because light is bouncing off of that, and then I warp that light around the spoon and into your eyes. But I can't make a section of the bulkhead invisible, because I'd have to bend light from the other side and bring it into this cabin, and there's no pathway for me to do that, unless you open the door or something."

"Oh, I see," Dotz said.

"I could use the windows on the apartment as an opening," Zatte went on, but even so, I'd have to be pretty close to make it work. Less than a hundred feet, I think. I might as well knock on the door and shoot him when he answers it."

"Well, why not try that?" Dotz asked. She stood up and pointed at the building across from the apartment. "Not... not knocking on his door, I mean. But you could set up here, and make part of his wall invisible, and then you couldn't miss."

"Dotz," Zatte said, "he'll notice me right away. As soon as he looks up and sees a hole in his wall, he'll know something's up before I even get a chance to aim."

"He might not look up," Dotz said. "You could make a small hole, just big enough to see through."

Zatte took a deep breath and put her hands behind her head as she leaned back in the chair. "It's too risky. I mean, if he's facing away from me, there's no problem at all. At that range the shot becomes child's play, sure. But if he's facing the wall, and he's already on edge..."

"Oh, but I don't think he is," Dotz said. "He snuck into a war zone, past a fleet, and then he bluffed his way into conquering this planet. Right now, he's probably thinking he doesn't need to worry about anything. He's already won."

"Is that a prophecy?" Zatte asked.

"Call it a hunch," Dotz said. "It's just that... if he were worried, he wouldn't be hiding in plain sight like this, would he? He thinks he's holding all the cards. The last thing he expects is someone like you to shoot him. Besides, I have... well, I suppose I have faith in you. You know your skills, and you believe this is worth doing. Just like you believe Luffa will win this war."

Zatte leaned forward in her chair and looked at Dotz for at least a minute.

"You're right," she finally said. "I have to do this, and I need to do it soon. It's risky, but it'll only be riskier if I wait. If Providence has decided that I should fail, then there's nothing I can do about it."

She stood up from her chair, and then Dotz did the same. "I'll go with you," she offered, but Zatte gestured for her to sit.

"No, I can't risk losing both of us," she said. "And if something does go wrong, I need you to fill in the others on what happened. But I appreciate the offer."

"At least let me read your fortune," Dotz said. "I might be able to tell you if this will work or not."

"Thanks, but no," Zatte said. "But I'll tell you what. If I make it back, I'll tell you all about the vision I had. If I'm going to take a chance, we may as well make this interesting, right? A little side-bet won't hurt."

Dotz smiled, but not as cheerfully as she might have liked. She was confident that this plan would work, and it seemed that Zatte believed in it too, but she still felt responsible for whatever came next, as if she had signed the young woman's death warrant.

But there had been no fear in Zatte's eye when she turned and left for her mission. Dotz had gathered this much just from handling the eyepatch. With past clients, such objects often carried signs of regret, or bitterness, or repressed trauma. Zatte's eyepatch had traces of these, to be sure, but they were overshadowed by a sense of duty and honor, and the notion that her physical loss served a higher purpose. Dotz didn't know if there was any truth to this, but it didn't seem to matter. Zatte believed it, and for now, that was enough.

And so, when Zatte returned a few hours later, alive and unhurt, holding a bottle of spirits to celebrate her successful hit, Dotz was deeply relieved, but not altogether surprised.

NEXT: ...To She Who Waits.

#dragon ball #fanfiction #zatte #dotz #ristet iv #lssjluffafic

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filmspun · 5 years ago

Text

The invention of Paris began with a bridge.

Today, people simply flash an image of the Eiffel Tower to evoke Paris instantly. It’s the monument that offers immediate proof that you are looking at the City of Light. In the 17th century, the Eiffel Tower’s role was played by a bridge: the Pont Neuf. The New Bridge was Henri IV’s initial idea for winning over the people of his freshly conquered capital city, and it managed that daunting task with brio. For the first time, the monument that defined a city was an innovative urban work rather than a cathedral or a palace. And Parisians rich and poor immediately adopted the Pont Neuf: They saw it as the symbol of their city and the most important place in town.

The construction of a new bridge over the Seine was initiated by Henri IV’s predecessor, the last king of the Valois dynasty, Henri III, who laid the first stone in May 1578. Some early projects conceived of a very different bridge, most notably, with shops and houses lining each side. In 1587, construction was just becoming visible above the water line when life in Paris was upended by religious violence. With the city in chaos, work on the bridge ceased for more than a decade.

In April 1598, Henri IV signed the Edict of Nantes: the Wars of Religion were officially over. A month earlier, the new king had already registered documents announcing his intention to complete the bridge. Henri III had offered no justification for the project; his successor, characteristically, laid out clear goals for it. He presented the bridge as a “convenience” for the inhabitants of Paris. He also characterized it as a necessary modernization of the city’s infrastructure—Paris’ most recent bridge, the Notre-Dame bridge, was by then badly outdated and far “too narrow,” as the king remarked, to deal with traffic over the Seine, which Henri IV described as rapidly expanding because new kinds of vehicles were now sharing the bridge with those who crossed on horseback and on foot. The new bridge would be financed in a previously untested manner: The king levied a tax on every cask of wine brought into Paris. Thus, as city historian Henri Sauval, writing in the 1660s, phrased it, “the rich and drunkards” paid for this urban work.

No prior bridge had had to deal with anything like the load the New Bridge was intended to bear—most significantly, a kind of weight that in 1600 was just becoming a serious consideration: vehicular transport. Earlier cities had only had to contend with transport that was relatively small and light: carts and wagons. In the final decades of the sixteenth century, personal carriages were just beginning to be seen in cities such as London and Paris. Nevertheless, with great foresight, each of Henri IV’s documents on the Pont Neuf adds new kinds of vehicles to the list of those to be accommodated. He was thus the first ruler to struggle with what would become a perennial concern for modern urban planning: the necessity of maintaining an infrastructure capable of handling an ever greater mass of vehicles.

The New Bridge became the first celebrity monument in the history of the modern city because it was so strikingly different from earlier bridges. It was built not of wood, but of stone; it was fireproof and meant to endure—it is now in fact the oldest bridge in Paris. The Pont Neuf was the first bridge to cross the Seine in a single span. It was, moreover, most unusually long—160 toises or nearly 1,000 feet—and most unusually wide—12 toises or nearly 75 feet—far wider than any known city street.

The bridge proved essential to the flow of traffic across Paris: Before, just getting to the Louvre from the Left Bank had been a famously tortuous endeavor that, for all those not wealthy enough to have a boat waiting to ferry them across, required the use of two bridges and a long walk on each side. The New Bridge also played a crucial role in the process by which the Right Bank became fully part of the city: In 1600, its only major attraction was the Louvre, whereas by the end of the century, the Right Bank showcased important residential architecture and urban works, from the Place Royale to the Champs-Élysées. In addition, whenever a major event transpired in seventeenth-century Paris, it either took place on the Pont Neuf or was first talked about on the Pont Neuf.

The 18th-century map above depicts the statue of Henri IV positioned in the middle of the bridge, the first public statue in the history of Paris. Parisians immediately turned the novel kind of monument into the most popular meeting place in the city. They created expressions such as “let’s meet by the Bronze King,” or “I’ll wait for you beneath the Bronze Horse.”

The enthusiasm with which Parisians welcomed the bridge helps explain why it became one of those rare public works that actually shape urban life. On the New Bridge, Parisians rich and poor came out of their houses and began to enjoy themselves in public again after decades of religious violence. The Pont Neuf became the first truly communal entertainment space in the city: Since access cost nothing, it was open to all. The greatest nobles disported themselves in ways amazingly unorthodox for a setting where anyone could see them. In February 1610, the 16-year-old Duc de Vendôme (Henri IV’s illegitimate son) was seen running around on the bridge engaged in a “heated battle with snowballs.”

And on the other end of the social spectrum, it was at the base of the Pont Neuf that public bathing in the Seine became popular, giving the least fortunate Parisians the chance to cool off from the summer heat. Soon after the bridge was opened, bathers and sunbathers began to congregate just below the bridge, in full view of all those crossing the Seine.

François Colletet’s periodical Le Journal (The Daily), reports that during the long hot summer of 1716, the police were obliged to step in when nude sunbathers were spotted, “on the riverbank by the Pont Neuf, where they were lying and walking about completely naked.” An order was issued “to forbid men from staying out on the sand by the Pont Neuf in the nude.” The Pont Neuf was a great social leveler.

The sidewalks on the Pont Neuf were the first the world had seen since Roman roads and something that had never been seen in a Western city. And no one knew what to call those who used these sidewalks. In official municipal documents, the people who walked there were called gens de pied, literally “people on foot,” a military term for foot soldiers. By the 1690s, French dictionaries included a new term, piéton, a pedestrian. Authors of guidebooks, aware that their readers would have had no previous experience with the phenomenon, explained, as Claude de Varennes did in 1639, that sidewalks were “absolutely reserved for pedestrians.” Pedestrians saw themselves for the first time as kings of the river.

The Pont Neuf was also built just when the use of vehicles of all kinds to get around in Paris was about to skyrocket. And because of the New Bridge’s size and its central location, a great many conveyances used it to cross the river. In no time at all, it thus became the poster child for what was quickly perceived to be one of the modern city’s greatest ills: the traffic jam.

An image from about 1700 is the original depiction of a traffic jam: it has a double title, “The Pont Neuf” and “l’embarras de Paris.” In the course of the 17th century and particularly in its final decades, that word, embarras, which until then had meant “embarrassment” or “confusion,” acquired a new meaning: “The encounter in a street of several things that block each other’s way.” A new kind of urban “confusion” had taken shape.

No one could have predicted how many activities would soon be vying for space on the bridge. To begin with, the Pont Neuf provided one of the original illustrations of the big city’s ever-accelerating appetite for news and of the rapidity with which technologies were invented to satisfy that craving. Rumors quickly spread through the crowd, giving rise to an expression: c’est connu comme le Pont Neuf—“everybody knows that already.” For the most part, however, news spread in far more organized ways.

The first French newspaper, Jean Richer’s Mercure françois, or “French Mercury,” began publication in 1611, well after the bridge had opened. It discussed a full year’s news at a time and appeared only several years after the events it described: The initial volume, for example, included coverage of 1604. To know what was going on in their city, Parisians relied on the Pont Neuf.

Engraved images of crucial people and events in the news were posted on the bridge. They were also available for sale in the shops that many printers set up either on or near the bridge. The same technique was used for printed news. Placards and posters of varying sizes were displayed prominently on walls throughout Paris, but nowhere more so than on the Pont Neuf. Contemporary accounts describe people reading aloud the posted news for those unable to read.

The existence of this informal newsroom on the bridge explains the way in which political sedition erupted in 1648, when violence returned to the streets of Paris for the first time since the 1590s. That August, civil war broke out after the arrest of a beloved member of the Parisian Parlement, Pierre Broussel. Broussel lived very near the bridge, as did the future author of one of the definitive accounts of the conflict, the Cardinal de Retz.

Retz was thus able to provide eyewitness testimony to the chain reaction set off “within fifteen minutes” of Broussel’s arrest at his home. The proximity of the Pont Neuf guaranteed that many Parisians were immediately informed of his arrest; they quickly formed an angry horde. The Royal Guard was on the bridge even as this was happening. The soldiers beat a retreat, but with a screaming mob on their heels. In no time at all, the crowd had grown to between 30,000 and 40,000. Retz described the “sudden and violent conflagration that spread from the Pont Neuf through the entire city. Absolutely everyone took up arms.” And later, when the opposition forces obtained Broussel’s release, observers noted “the cries of joy” that erupted from “the middle of the Pont Neuf.”

Until the first professional theaters opened their doors in the 1630s, the Pont Neuf was the center of the Parisian theatrical scene. Open-air performances contributed to the traffic gridlock, though not nearly so much as another kind of urban spectacle that also drew crowds to the bridge: shopping. As soon as the New Bridge was completed, a street market began. You could find trinkets, fashion accessories, and the most fetching bouquets in the city. Booksellers were the first to set up shop; there were soon at least 50 bookshops on the bridge.

Wealthy consumers being jostled about and distracted by everything from buskers to stray sheep must have seemed easy prey. Periodicals and guidebooks, memoirs and novels—all make an explicit association between the Pont Neuf and theft, especially clothing theft. The stories make it clear that, if you walked onto the Pont Neuf wearing your finest garments, you were in real danger of losing them before you reached the other side.

Despite all this, it’s clear that when Parisians got an expensive new outfit, they couldn’t resist showing it off by going for a stroll just where they knew it would be seen by the biggest crowd: on “the big stage of the Pont Neuf.” The Pont Neuf was expressly designed to encourage pedestrians to linger over the vista laid out before them. The bridge’s “viewing shelves” or “balconies” may have been the most remarkable of its innovations—they made Parisians aware that their city was now a sight worthy of visual appreciation.

Small wonder that the Pont Neuf became the first major modern tourist destination and that it inspired a true souvenir industry. The wealthiest travelers returned home with a painting of the New Bridge to hang in their salon or picture gallery, views that could remind them of the qualities of the Parisian experience that were to be found nowhere else. And for less prosperous visitors who wanted a reminder of Paris there was the equivalent of a souvenir trinket—fans that depicted daily life on Paris’ New Bridge.

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monsters-demons-and-heralds-ohmy · 6 years ago

Text

What We Lost and What We Have:

Chapter 6: Sock puppets, stomachaches, and what you really learn in college

In which we meet a very strange nurse, talk about teen drug use and the plot thickens.

TW: Conversations about recreational drugs, questions about suicidal intentions, and brief mention of throwing up

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AU somewhat inspired by Episode 2x20 - What Is and What Should Never Be, and the season 14 storyline concerning Jack’s illness.

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AO3 Link

Previous Chapter

First Chapter

Complete Tumblr Chapter List

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Sam and Dean both decided to give the Kline’s a little space after after the incident with Jack’s lunch tray. Ironically both brothers using the excuse that they hadn’t had anything to eat since they arrived early that morning.

Jack seemed on the verge of mortified tears afterward and for selfish reasons or not neither wanted to be the one to push him over the edge.

The kid was already embarrassed enough.

The doctor had told the brothers (much to Dean’s chagrin) that at least one of them should come back in later that evening as they had a few more background questions for all of them once Jack had a chance to rest.

There was only so much the doctor was willing to do when they still didn’t know what was causing Jack’s symptoms but when Jack’s nausea refused to fade and several more bouts dry heaving literally drove Jack to tears they finally gave him anti-nausea drugs that had the added benefit of finally putting him back to sleep.

Getting a few hours of rest (plus something new the doctor gave him via IV to help with the fact he hadn’t eaten for a day and a half) seemed to perk Jack up a bit. At the very least Jack seemed a lot more calm when he woke up around three hours later.

Though, that could have also been the low dose of narcotic painkillers doctor Hannah also decided to give despite the risks when Jack’s stomach pain was bad enough to cause his heart rate to skyrocket.

It wasn’t enough narcotics to make Jack start accusing innocent staff members of being out to suck his blood again, but it was enough to render him quiet and subdued… and not at all like the Jack Castiel knew.

‘He could only watch and try to comfort Jack as he got sick and then hugged his stomach, literally crying with the pain the action caused him…’

A quiet Jack was better than a sobbing Jack, but it still terrified Cas.

It threw him back to sixteen years previously when Jack was first born, made him feel like he was failing Kelly all over again…

He remembered when Jack was four and a half and afraid of long clawed demons under his bed. ( strangely specific child that he was ) Then Castiel could consol him and promise to protect him from any monsters .

When Jack was seven and John died and Jack tried to run away from home, ( only getting so far as the neighbor down the street who lured him in with cookies and called Castiel ) he’d been able to reassure the traumatized boy that his parents and the people around him didn’t die because he was close to them.

“...you’re not cursed Jack, I promise… and I’m not planning on leaving you alone any time soon.”

But this…

Castiel couldn’t promise everything would be okay, he didn’t know how to fix this, he didn’t even know what this was…

Every little twitch Jack gave in his sleep, every harsh intake of breath was like an electric jolt to Cas’s heart, terrifying him that Jack would start seizing again.

By the time that Jack was awake again and Cas was able to call the Winchester’s back in he was thirty-six hours without sleep and felt on the verge of a mental breakdown.

“Med student party here yet?” Cas heard the now unfortunately familiar voice of Dean Winchester over his shoulder.

“No…” Cas said dully, hand tightening over Jack’s as he broke into another fit of harsh wheezy coughs.

‘The antibiotics either weren’t helping the pneumonia or were taking far too long to kick in for comfort.’

“I...I don’t really feel up to p-party,” Jack muttered with a tiny wry smile.

“You feeling any better buddy?” Sam’s voice was a little more tolerable.

“They gave me more drugs?” Jack said bluntly, perhaps the amount of pain meds he was given was still enough to make the teenager a more aloof if not completely loopy.

As scared as Jack must be Cas didn’t have it in him for him to be upset with Jack being a little… high, as it were.

‘Anything to keep away the horrible tears of pain.’

“They’re waiting for me to let them know you’re here…” Cas explained quickly to the brothers reaching for the nurse call button and using the moment to compose himself.

“I thought we were done with all the questions?” Dean sighed pacing by the window like nervous rather unimpressive tomcat not looking at anyone.

“Well apparently they didn’t get what they needed last time.” Cas tried not to think that more questions meant the doctors were at a loss with what answers they did get.

“It probably had something to do with you ‘scaring the crap’ out of the person who was recording them…” Cas glared choosing to believe that instead.

Dean’s eyes narrowed for a moment and he opened his mouth as if to say something scathing but Sam surprised Castiel by speaking up.

“Well whatever the reason pointing fingers won’t help anyone,” Sam said taking Dean’s old spot by the far end of the bed. It seemed like while Sam was rendered relatively unable to function when it came to Jack that same reservations did not stand for confronting his argumentative older brother or Castiel.

“So how about this time we all sit down, and shut up, and get this over with and then neither of you will have to see each other again if you don’t want to…” Sam said with an air of aggressive calm, folded his hands in his lap.

Jack eyes seemed to dart between each one of them tense and nervous, clutching at the sheets without a word.

Castiel felt a pang of guilt in his chest.

He and Dean took their seats… quietly.

They sat awkwardly like two children who’d just been chewed out by the principal until the silence was broken by a knock on the door.

Well… a series of knocks… to the tune of… Yankee Doodle?

Jack’s eyes darted between his uncle and the door like he wasn’t sure if he actually heard what he thought he heard or if the drugs were just kicking in.

“Come in?” Castiel said hesitantly.

The door opened and in stepped not the nervous med student, but another more suspicious looking individual.

Another… nurse?

“Hello,” said the strange skinny man in seemingly oversized giraffe print scrubs. He had a smile about as appropriate for the tense atmosphere as sunbather in a snowstorm, “My name is Garth but you can call me nurse Fitzgerald and I’m here to help Jack and you all with a patient history today.”

Dean shot Sam a confused look that was ignored.

“What happened to the other g-guy?” Jack hacked into the back of his hand, looking wary of having yet another stranger in his room.

"Well, Kevin was having a bit of a hard time, so the head nurse wanted someone with a bit more experience to finish it,” Nurse Fitz-… Garth shrugged the left sleeve of his scrubs dangerously close to sliding off his narrow shoulder, “they send me in when things get a little hinky,"

"Hinky?" Castiel's eyebrows rose.

"Well I say hinky," Garth smiled, "I think it's a much nicer word than the one nurse Master's used... that I won't use in front of a child.

The child in the room looked mildly offended.

"Or what was written on the chart," he picked up Jack’s chart clipboard off the end of the bed and flicked it significantly, “which is… ''disorderly"."

Dean scoffed, "Please, we weren't "disorderly”,” he drew quotation marks in the air.

The strange skinny man just continued to smile shrugging, "okay well you made poor Kevin cry in the on-call room so I wouldn't exactly call that "functional behavior"."

Dean’s mouth opened looking defensive but for a second time the words were lost behind an interruption.

“Sorry…” Jack said quietly, clearing his throat, “they… they mean well… I think…”

“We should… probably apologize to this Kevin though…” Castiel said sheepishly.

“Probably…” Dean muttered noncommittally refusing to look at Castiel.

“What’s that?” Sam spoke up suddenly sounding confused, everyone turning to see at what he pointing at.

I appeared to be a strange looking… sock with lips? hanging of Nurse Garth’s scrubs pocket.

“Oh him?” the nurse pulled the object out his pocket smiling at it fondly before slipping it over one hand, “This… is Mr. Fizzles.”

He opened and closed the sock puppet’s mouth in Jack’s general direction as the boy looked on warily pressed against his pillows.

“A lot of kids find a friend easier to talk to than a stranger, especially when in a big scary place like the hospital.”

He looked at Jack expectantly.

“I...I think I’ll pass…” the teenager said turning a little pink.

Garth seemed mildly disappointed but shrugged and surreptitiously tucked the sock back in his pocket picking back up the chart.

“Well Kevin’s handwriting started getting illegible at… drugs…” he looked up expectantly at Castiel’s affronted face.

“He had a tablet of ibuprofen about seven hours before the seizure and then a second four hours later, but no Jack does not do drugs,” Castiel said flatly.

“I think… he was asking Jack…” Sam said carefully watching Jack who was refusing to look back, scratching at the adhesive over the line in his arm.

“I don’t… do drugs…” Jack said quietly.

Castiel gave nurse Garth a satisfied “see” look.

“But there was… this one time,” Jack coughed sheepishly.

Everyone was suddenly staring at Jack who seemed to be trying to disappear into his hospital mattress.

“Jack…” Cas’s heart sunk more disappointed than angry, he didn’t have a chance to ask why before Jack cut him off seeming desperate to explain.

“It… it was just one time… Noah offered me a hit?” his eyebrows drew together and he looked unsure at the terminology, “of a joint he had?”

Dean gave an impressive little huff earning him a dirty look from Cas.

“Don’t look at me, I didn’t go to college…” Dean shrugged, shooting Sam a knowing smile he refused to return.

“It was just the one time though!” Jack said quickly looking at Cas pleadingly, “It was really, really gross and… and I never did it again!”

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?” Castiel asked exasperated, trying not to show Sam or Dean how hurt he was. What made it worse was he knew how stereotypical it was for a parent to think their teenager would never lie to them. Half the parent teacher conferences he had to call at the high school were dealing with people under such delusions.

“I… I didn’t want to get Noah in trouble…” Jack mumbled biting his lip and refusing to look Cas in the eye.

“Noah?” Castiel mentally ran over his shortlist of acquaintances Jack talked about and came up empty. “Wait… Noah Ophis?” Castiel felt completely at a loss when Jack’s blush seemed to confirm it, “Jack… wasn’t Noah the one who locked you in the school gym’s weight room and then stuck gum in the lock so we had to call maintenance to disassemble the door to get you out?”

“It… was never confirmed…” Jack muttered turning brighter red glancing back between his older brothers as if expecting them to laugh.

“How long ago did you ‘get silly with Mary Jane’?” Garth broke in on the tense moment seeming unbothered.

Jack looked extremely confused for a long moment, “Six… months ago?”

Garth wrote that down, “well it’s probably not that then, the devil’s lettuce only lasts like… a few hours, unless you snort it that’s worse...”

Castiel really did not believe that was an actual way people consumed marajauna… he had gone to college after all.

Cas suppressed the need to start in on a long speech about peer pressure, lying, and the dangers of underage recreational drug use (especially when you didn’t know the source), but now was not the time, not now with as Jack as sick as he was. He would be taking advantage of a secret Jack only willingly told because he was scared for his own safety, and Jack’s health might rely on him being honest with his doctors.

Though Cas was relieved when the next question was, just “Do you have any animal friends?”

He felt his confidence as a surrogate parent had taken enough of a hit for the moment.

“Well… I have Felix… but I don’t know if he thinks of me as a friend, I’ve read their brains can’t really process that sort of thing?” Jack’s eyebrows furrowed in thought.

Sam’s eyebrows rose nearly to his hairline.

Maybe the drugs had a stronger effect on Jack than Castiel first realized.

“What is Felix?” Sam looked completely at a loss.

Jack blinked, “A corn snake,” he said like it should be obvious.

Dean seemed to recoil slightly and then snorted, a very, “of course I’m going to judge the character of a kid I don’t know based on the fact he keeps a snake…” noise.

That was a big mistake… Castiel knew Jack was fairly shy but he’d been on the wrong end of one of Jack’s, “I must defend the honor of snakes everywhere,” speeches before when the Jack was first trying to convince his uncle to let him keep Felix.

“Felix is really great!” he insisted, probably louder than he should have judging by the short fit of coughs that followed. He cleared his throat before croaking, “N-not only do corn snakes eat d-disease carrying pests, they're really gentle, and they’re easy to breed in captivity, and they’re from the US so they... they don’t c-contribute to the… the e-exotic pet trade…”

Castiel remembered vividly Jack showing up in his classroom clutching a shoe box the day before winter break, nervous but determined. He’d gone into a spiel about how a boy had brought the snake to the lunch room to show it off but the boy was planning to kill it at the end of the day with a rock because he thought it was ‘kinder’.

“He said he couldn’t get it to eat, but! he only tried one thing and... and you can’t let him do that, he doesn’t deserve that…”

He’d practically begged Castiel to let him keep the snake, “even if it was just for a little while,” and then spent the next week researching and trying to feed it different things, bringing everything from bags of frozen mice to eggs and minnow into the house before he’d had success.

Cas remembered the huge grin on Jack’s face when he finally succeeded heard him whisper, “see you’re going to be okay now,” into Felix’s enclosure when he thought his uncle wasn’t watching.

Jack dissolved into another fit of coughing near the end of his snake rant, doubling up as Castiel laid a worried hand on his shoulder.

“Fine fine kid jeez…” Dean raised his hands in mock surrender, looking mildly alarmed, “I believe you, don’t lose a lung over it…”

“Snakes are great you’re just a mean,” Jack muttered breathily with one laugh hacking cough, sinking wearily back in his bed. The short bout of passion seemed to have taken a lot out of him.

“I don’t really like snakes, I’m sure they’re great but the way they look at me makes me nervous y'know?” Nurse Garth Gave a shiver, no one knew what he meant. “Also they can carry salmonella…”

The nurse spent the next half hour asking more questions of various degrees of embarrassment. Each answer the brother’s gave grew increasingly bored and each answer Jack gave getting softer as he grew increasingly drowsy.

Any energy Jack gained by resting seemed to run out of him like water through a sieve and soon he had fallen back asleep. Castiel knew seizures could take a lot out of a person but this? This felt different. He breathed deeply to calm himself down, told himself he never finished nursing school, let alone medical school like the doctor’s taking care of Jack.

‘He was in good hands…’

He carefully straightened Jack’s blankets, trying not to listen to the wheezy quality of Jack’s breathing even in sleep.

“Did you get all the answers you needed?” Castiel asked quietly, not wanting to interrupt and of the sleep the boy managed to get.

The nurse smiled looking a little too pleased with himself, “yup just about the entire thing, I don’t know what Kevin was upset about you all seem like very nice people.”

Dean looked up mildly guilt pulling his hand back from where he’d been trying to fish the sock puppet out of Garth’s pocket, while Sam hid his face in his hands. “Yeah… um… so it’s fine for us to take off now?”

‘Of course…’

Garth nodded satisfied, “yeah, visiting hours for everyone but parents are ending soon, and the kid looks like he’s had all the fun he can handle for today.”

Castiel just nodded in agreement trying not to seem to eager carefully fixing Jack’s mussed up hair, “I think he’s had enough of strangers for now…”

That was enough for Dean who left with one last indignant puff of air but Sam stayed back for a moment tettering as was his custom in the doorway.

“Call if something changes?” he asked, like he was half unsure he should say the words.

Cas offered a tight smile, “sure…”

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Sam and Dean left for their home and hotel respectively the nurse leaving soon after to give Castiel and more importantly Jack some time to rest.

The nurses mostly let Jack be through the evening only coming in once or twice to record his vitals and give him more of the drugs the doctor prescribed earlier, Jack thankfully remained asleep during the visits.

He seemed mostly stable much to Cas’s relief though that could have just been due to the pain and nausea meds masking the worst of his symptoms. It wasn’t until Jack reached a full twenty-four hours without another seizure that Castiel finally let himself relax.

It wasn’t until much later, half past midnight that the doctor came in again.

Castiel had finally fallen asleep in a recliner chair one of the nurses graciously brought in when they realized he was staying with Jack for another night..

‘They’d explained it was standard practice for when a parent stayed with their child on the ward…’

He’d been woken rather unceremonious by doctor Hannah pulling a cumbersome looking machine into Jack’s room.

“What’s… What’s going on?” he asked dumbly rubbing at his face, the confusion quickly turning to alarm when he saw the look on the doctor’s face.

Her face was mostly calm, but her eyebrows were furrowed and her mouth was pressed in a thin tense line.

“I… need you to wake up Jack…” she said something worrying in her calm voice Castiel couldn’t quite identify.

Castiel immediately began to panic head snapping up to the monitor of Jack’s vitals. Everything seemed the same, except the fever which had risen to an even hundred degrees.

“Is… What’s wrong?” He asked in as hushed a tone as he could manage.

The doctor gave him a reassuring smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

“I just need to check something…” she said unhelpfully.

Castiel tried to breathe evenly and remain calm as he gently shook Jack’s shoulder.

‘What was so bad you’d wake a sick kid in the middle of the night?’

He gently shook Jack’s shoulder, calling his name, Jack barely moved, his eyes twitched and he let out a soft cough.

Castiel frowned shaking his shoulder a little more forcefully eliciting an unhappy groan from Jack as he rolled away as far as the tubing on his face would allow him.

‘At least it was confirmation he wasn’t comatose or something…’

“The painkillers he’s on can have a sedative effect,” she frowned, “it’s always best to try to wake someone up naturally but I did bring something if that doesn’t work.

She produced a set of keys from her pocket to unlock the set of rolling drawers the machine she brought was propped on top of.

“Wait,” Castiel quickly held up a hand, “there’s one thing I haven’t tried yet…” he leant down close to Jack’s ear, “Jack… come on you have to get up… we’re going to be late to school…”

Jack tensed up and groaned, “I… I don’t want to, I don’t feel good…” he grumbled face screwing up.

Cas huffed a sad laugh, gently ruffling his hair to keep him from falling back out, “I know Jack, but you still need to wake up.”

Jack finally blinked woefully up at him, “you said I didn’t have to go…” His croaked eyes wandered towards the window as he coughed to clear his throat, “it’s still dark out…” he muttered bewildered.

“I know, I know… you don’t have to go to school, you can go back to sleep... in a little bit?” Cas looked back toward the doctor who offered him another thin smile, neither confirming or denying.

“But doctor Hannah she needs to talk to us… for now, alright?” Castiel said still gently squeezing his shoulder...

Jack just blinked and nodded trustingly too tired to question it.

Doctor Hannah ducked down to his level whispering, “I’m going to turn on the lights now and I need you to roll on your side like before okay?”

Jack looked wary breath speeding up, “P-please don’t stick another needle in my back…”

“It’s okay Jack, I promise I’m not going to do that honey,” she said gently flipping on a switch and making everyone in the room wincing at the sudden brightness, “I just need to run an ultrasound on your back and abdomen…”

Jack looked even more confused, face morphing into mildly suspicion, “But… I can’t have babies?”

Doctor Hannah actually chucked, “No that’s not all we use ultrasound for, and that’s not what I’m looking for…”

“What are you looking for?” Castiel couldn’t hold himself back from asking, fidgeting in the recliner.

The doctor’s face dropped a little before she could stop it, “I’ll let you know if I see it, I… I don’t want to alarm you,”

Her eyes drifted back to Jack with an unspoken, ‘or him’ .

Jack’s eyebrows furrowed but he still did as he was told and the doctor guided him onto his side before pulling down the blanket to his waist and undoing the ties on the upper half of his hospital gown while he blushed pink.

When she carefully began to probed Jack’s back it became abundantly clear the medication didn’t completely numb his pain.

He barely held back a cry of pain between clenched teeth, reducing it to a strained groan, his whole body shaking.

Castiel reach for his hand which was clenched around the bed sheets. “It’s okay Jack… I’m here.”

“Th-that… that really hurts,” Jack mumbled tearfully.

“I know Jack I know…” the doctor said seemingly lost in thought

doing her best to move quickly through prep procedures for the ultrasound. Applying a plastic cover over the wand and spreading clear gel on a portion of his back.

Jack looked like he was trying not to scream when the doctor finally pressed the ultrasound wand into his back, teeth gritted together heart rate spiking.

The doctor’s eyes were fixed on the ultrasound screen beside the bed looking grim and Castiel wished not for the first time that he’d finished his degree so he’d know what she saw.

‘All he could do was hold Jack’s hand.’

“Shit…” he barely heard the doctor mutter as she set aside the wand and gingerly wiped away the gel on Jack’s back.

There were already already tears welling in Jack’s eyes when she had him turn back onto his back.

The doctor promised to be as quick and gentle as she could as she repeated the process with the upper part of Jack’s abdomen.

Jack was shaking and crying silently by the time it was over, and the doctor was if anything quieter.Terrifyingly lost in thought.

Castiel carefully helped him back into his gown, telling him softly that he did well and could go back to sleep soon.

Jack watched the doctor red eyed and wary gripping the blankets a little too tightly even as he wilted exhausted back against the bed.

The doctor waited until the teenager seemed to have calmed back down before speaking.

“Jack… I’m going to ask your uncle and you some questions and I need you to be as honest as possible, alright?”

The tone of doctor Hannah’s voice set off the already ringing alarm bells in Cas’s mind to a shrieking pitch.

Jack nodded cautiously, “O-okay…” he said shakily.

The doctor began pacing at the foot of his bed hands clasping anxiously at one another.

“You said Jack had a headache a few hours before he had a seizure at the restaurant and that you gave him ibuprofen for it, are you sure it was ibuprofen and not aspirin?”

Castiel blinked, “yes I’m sure I know better than to give a child aspirin, and I even remember the brand I bought, it was Advil…”

“It’s was a blue... package,” Jack said after a moment coughing into his elbow, exhaustion, and illness fogging his brain.

The doctor nodded and resumed her pacing, “and… how much did you give him?” she asked seeming careful about her phrasing.

“A lower dose, one tablet… and then another four hours later…” Castiel said suspiciously, “what is this about?”

The doctor hesitated, “did you see Jack take them both times?”

There was a long pause as Jack looked increasingly upset, “wh-what are you tr-trying to say?”

“What are you suggesting?” Castiel knew full well what she was asking but he couldn’t believe he’d heard it.

“I…” she paused and sighed, “I have to ask it’s very important.”

Jack seemed to understand despite everything, “I...I wouldn’t, I couldn’t d-do that I…” his breathing sped up.

“The first thing Jack asked about when he woke up was school and needing to take care of his pet? Does that really strike you as someone who would try to… to…” Cas paused, “to hurt themselves?”

“I… I was upset and sad after what happened but…” Jack’s forehead wrinkled again as his breathing grew more frantic and his heart rate rose with it, “I wouldn’t, I didn’t do that…” he muttered eyes pleading and filling back up with tears, “please believe me.”

“I know Jack… I do believe you,” Castiel reassured him gently squeezing his shoulder.

A thought dawned on Cas and he reached for his coat still hanging off the back of his chair, “he really physically couldn’t…”

Castiel pulled a small half crushed blue box from the pocket of the coat, “I didn’t even buy a bottle of pills they didn’t have any in the hotel commissary they only had it in a box of packets and there were only four pills to start with…”

‘The stupid box had cost a whole ten dollars regardless.’

He handed it over for the doctor to see, “and there’s still two left…”

The doctor looked in the box then checked the date on the bottom, but instead of looking relieved like Cas expected…”

She just looked... frustrated?

“Alright… I’m sorry, we had to rule that out as a possibility…” she sighed.

The apology did nothing to placate Jack, who just stared at her distrustfully tears running silently down his cheeks hugging himself still breathing too fast.

Castiel tried to resist the anger and resentment building up in his own chest he knew the doctor was just doing her job, but it was late and the already ill and drug addled Jack was not tolerating being woken in the middle of the night to be painfully prodded, cross examined, and accused of hurting himself very well.

He placed a protective hopefully comforting hand on Jack’s shoulder, “couldn’t you have just tested for a possible overdose in the blood samples you took instead of coming in here past midnight and harassing him?”

“If the problem was being caused by taking too much ibuprofen it would be important to find out and treat as soon as possible.”

“W-why?” Jack mumbled hunching forward red-eyed and shaking his breath coming out in uncomfortably fast puffs, “what… what’s wrong with me?”

He looked how Castiel felt, on the verge of panic.

“Jack, it’s alright I need you to calm down…” the doctor said looking warily between him and the vitals reading on the monitor.

‘That didn’t calm him down.’

“You… you don’t know d-do you?” Jack sobbed continuing to hyperventilate, heart beating about a mile a minute on the monitors, “y-you don’t…” he coughed, the developing panic attack not helping his already labored breathing, coughing soon turning to wheezing.

Castiel’s mouth became a thin anxious line as he wrapped a supportive arm around his shoulders.

“Jack?”

The doctor moved quickly back over to the locked set of drawers retrieving a vial and injecting something into Jack’s IV line, “it’s alright it’s okay… just try to breathe deeply Jack…”

Jack tried, leaning on his uncle tears running down his face even when his breathing slowed and he relaxed as whatever drug the doctor gave him took effect.

The doctor and Castiel gently helped him lean back into his pillows as his eyes blinked blearily, “it’s alright… just rest now… you’re alright…”

She didn’t look like even she believed what she was saying as he drifted quickly back into unconsciousness the rise and fall of his chest slowly evening back out.

Castiel felt as if a live wire was clenched between his teeth.

“What happening to Jack?” he managed an impossibly calm tone.

The doctor sighed taking a moment to steal herself before answering. “Most of the tests we have back so far… they came back inconclusive… There was no sign of meningitis or encephalitis in his spinal fluid, no… conclusive signs of infection in his blood at all…”

“But,” Castiel said feeling miles away.

“But… between the blood taken when he was first admitted and a few hours ago, we’ve found a significant increase in his liver enzymes and protein levels and if… they don’t improve in the next few hours I want to look at transferring him to Kansas University hospital…”

Castiel felt like the ground was dropping from beneath him, “and… the pain, what you were testing for just now that was…”

The doctor paused for an even longer moment before answering, “Jack’s liver and kidneys… are showing signs of inflammation… and the blood tests results are signs they’re starting to lose function…”

‘Failing… she meant they were beginning to fail’

“And you don’t know why…” Castiel mumbled numbly.

The doctor said nothing...

Notes:

Dun dun dun, and the plot thickens, hopefully the introduction of nurse Garth managed to lighten things up a bit before the darker second half and reveal.

If you enjoyed this chapter and have the time and/or inclination please let me know what you thought :)

#SPN #Supernatural #Castiel #Jack Kline #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #fanfiction #whump #humor #illness #family drama #garth fitzgerald iv #Hannah #TW drugs #TW vomit mention #only accusations of not an actual attempt of overdose #kylermalloy

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