#and maybe something over on nathan

[goodmeeting]

❝ I'm a perfumer by trade, ❞ she says. By nature, too. It's been instilled since youth. Nina is nothing if not a perfumer. ❝ It's not as exciting as you'd think, I suppose, unless you like that sort of thing. Some people find it dreadfully boring. ❞ — @omniterror

[halffootguildofficial]

How's Dandan doing

"Oh, I haven't seen poor old Dandan since he passed several years ago..."

"Stop telling people I'm dead, Tims."

"Sometimes I can still hear his voice..."

"Tims."

"Y'know, in my dreams, he has all his paperwork done on time, and he doesn't show up to work late, and he especially doesn't spill half of the on tap cider when he pours himself a drink after hours..."

"Oh come on! It was one time!"

[scoringeffects]

tell me about natemac and cmd

OKAY. SO. outside of the obvious (1oa teenagers kidnapped from their childhoods to save some fuckass city) theyre constantly compared to each other (see: past three/four nhl awards + runners up) they’re both one and two for best skaters in thr league and best player rn, but they will both forever be in sidney crosby’s shadow (natemac will always be cole harbor’s second son, connor will always be the next next one, the second modern generational talent) but there’s no real angst there bc i don’t think they particularly mind + they both have raging childhood/current crushes on him anyway. i think despite colorado’s incredibly incredibly lean years (rip 2016-17 colorado avalanche) and the fact that it took natemac ELEVEN. years to win the hart + ted lindsay (and to my knowledge he’s never won the art ross) + he didnt win thr conn smythe (tbh like. his other other boyfriend got it so i dont think theres any real angst there) + his old contract was a freaking fleece, connor would swap their careers if given yhe chance bc he won the cup! and he successfully did what the oilers have fallen short of year on year (build from underneath graves up all the way to the freaking moon) not to mention the avs swept the oilers two years ago on the way to that cup and that was the year leon had a high ankle sprain (and connor found it difficult to watch him play like that, as a friend). theyre also very much a similar level of intensity/insanity + they have a very similar ‘u have to look hard to Get them’ vibe. also they sat next to eachother at the 2024 asg skills comp + there was a clip of them interacting

more nichely. connor has his exboybestfriend dylan strome often called 2015’s draft bust and similarly nate has jo drouin. often called 2013’s dr

[lady-luckk]

kids are cute, let’s make one

# pairings: yandere sugar daddies x sugar baby reader

# synopsis: you’re eight sugar daddies are starting to want more from you. they’re envisioning a future with you. they want something that will chain you to them. what’s more perfect then a child.

# warnings: this will contain dark themes such as obsession, baby-trapping, and toxic behavior. if you are uncomfortable, please block me. viewer discretion is advised. minors DNI.

# notes: reblogs, comments, and likes are appreciated!

# parts: part 1 𖤓 part 2 𖤓 part 3

# tags: @hopingtoclearmedschool, @yawnzzx, @hasty-desert, @enchantingarcadecreation, @cannyyyyy, @lianobody

something was shifting.

you started to notice a new pattern in their obsession—one that’s more invasive, more intimate.

they’re all talking about children.

elijah brings it up casually over dinner. "you’d make such a good parent," he says, brushing a lock of hair behind your ear. "you ever think about settling down? having a little one running around? maybe… soon?" he grins, but there’s a look in his eyes that makes your stomach churn.

lucas leaves a baby magazine on your coffee table one day. you know you didn’t put it there. when you ask, he just shrugs. "just curious," he says. "wondered if you ever thought about a future. our future."

nathan jokes about it first. "imagine a little version of you running around. wouldn’t that be something?" but then he gets serious. "you’d look beautiful pregnant," he says. "really. you should think about it."

kai starts watching your cycle. you don’t know how he knows, but he always seems to know when you’re not feeling well. "we don’t have to use anything," he says one night. "i’d take care of you. both of you."

matthew starts buying vitamins. leaves them on your counter like it’s the most natural thing. "prenatal’s good for you even if you’re not pregnant," he says with a tight smile. "you never know."

leo gets quiet when you bring up birth control. "you don’t trust me?" he asks. the next time you’re together, the condom disappears. he just grins. "guess we’ll see what happens."

xavier's eyes never leave yours, a hint of something darker lurking behind his affection. "i’ve been thinking about our future," he says quietly, his hand resting lightly on your stomach. "a family... with you. we’ll make it perfect. just the way it’s meant to be."

damien doesn’t say anything at first. but he starts talking about names. baby names. casually, like it’s part of a normal conversation. you laugh it off until he hands you a list. "just in case," he says.

you feel trapped in silk—soft, golden lies that tighten every time you smile back.

but it doesn’t matter.

because they’re all dreaming of the same thing:

tying you to them. permanently.

soon, their suggestions turn to plans.

you catch elijah browsing baby clothes on his phone while you’re lying next to him. when you ask, he turns the screen away and says, "just looking." later, he offhandedly mentions how his apartment has a second bedroom. "could make a nice nursery."

lucas books a weekend getaway to a remote cabin and conveniently "forgets" to pack your pills. "you don’t need them all the time," he says. "you should trust me. we’d make a gorgeous kid."

nathan buys you a silk robe—one size up. when you laugh and ask if he thinks you're gaining weight, he just smiles. "you’ll grow into it."

kai starts talking about quitting your job. "you shouldn’t be stressed all the time," he says. "i’ll take care of everything. just focus on yourself. on… us."

matthew has taken to watching you sleep. one night, you wake up to find him staring at you from across the room. he’s holding a small, velvet box. inside isn’t a ring—it’s a positive pregnancy test. "just imagine it," he whispers.

leo starts leaving baby toys in your bag, your coat pocket, your purse. you find a rattle in your kitchen drawer. a bib in your laundry. all new. all tagged. all left without a word.

xavier starts talking to your stomach, even when you’re alone. "you’ll be a good mother," he says. "our child will be perfect. better than either of us."

damien starts recording you on his phone when you’re not looking. videos labeled with dates and times. you catch a glimpse of one named "first signs."

you’ve always felt like you were running the game. scripting the story.

but now, they’re writing their own chapters. and in every one, you’re a mother.

a possession.

a prize they plan to keep.

you don’t care about love. you don’t need it. you care about money. security. a life of indulgence. and as long as they’re giving you what you want—gifts, attention, wealth—you’ll keep playing the part. a baby? that’s not part of the plan. but the luxuries they promise? now, that’s something you can’t resist.

you knew they cared for you. at least, you thought you did. love, or at least the way they acted, was easy to ignore at first. fleeting glances, soft touches that felt almost like accidents. casual conversations. but lately? everything’s been different.

they’re not just affectionate—they’re obsessed. in ways you never expected.

elijah

you’re curled up on the couch with elijah, the room softly lit by the flicker of the tv. he’s close—too close—and you can feel the heat of his breath against your skin, but it’s not the comfort it used to be. there’s a shift in the air tonight, a subtle change in the way he looks at you, as if he’s seeing you for the first time. or maybe he’s just trying harder to convince himself of something.

"i was just thinking about something," he says, his voice unusually soft. his fingers idly trace the rim of his mug, but his eyes are glued to you, like he’s waiting for a reaction. "do you ever think about the past? i mean, really think about it? like, when everything felt right. simple."

you feign a thoughtful expression, though your mind’s already calculating how to play this. he’s nostalgic, searching for meaning, and you know exactly how to feed into it. you smile gently, nodding, your tone light but smooth as you reply, "yeah, i’ve thought about it. a lot of people wish they could go back to those simpler times."

his eyes brighten a little, encouraged by your response, and you can almost feel the trap snap shut. he’s already entranced by the fantasy, the idea of a perfect, easy life. you let him run with it.

"my grandmother’s house," he continues, drifting off into his memory. "it was always so warm, so... safe. i remember her kitchen, the smell of fresh cookies, and how she’d always hum little tunes when she baked. i used to sit on the counter, and she’d tell me stories about love, about how everything just... works out. back then, i thought maybe she was right. maybe things really do just fall into place."

you notice how his voice wavers, just a touch, and a small part of you feels a flicker of guilt. but the larger part knows this is your opening. you let him paint his picture, nodding with a gentle smile, your eyes softening just enough to keep him talking. you want him to keep going, to believe in this idea of a perfect future with you in it.

"i think that’s what i want," he says, his voice quieter now, almost intimate. "a life like that. the family, the love, the little moments. a house full of laughter, a kid running around. maybe it’s silly, but i picture you there. i picture us together, raising our little one in a place just like that."

you feel the weight of his words, heavy with his expectations. he’s already imagining you as a part of his dream, as the perfect mother in this idealized life. and you—well, you’re simply here for the luxury he promises, for the status, for everything he thinks you want. a baby, though? that’s not part of the plan.

you let your smile stretch just a little wider, a calculated mix of warmth and consideration. "let’s just enjoy our time together first," you say, your tone soothing and playful. "we’ve got all the time in the world to figure things out, right?"

but you can tell by the way his brow furrows, the way his gaze stays glued to you that he’s not hearing the subtle dismissal in your voice. elijah’s too wrapped up in his fantasy of a future with you—too blinded by the image of a picture-perfect life. his smile falters slightly, but only for a second.

"i know we do," he says, though there’s a small crack in his usual charm. "but i just… i keep thinking that we’re meant for something more, something bigger. you and me, building something real, something lasting."

you can feel the pull of his sincerity, and for a moment, you wonder how far you can lead him. how much you can take before he realizes you’re only here for the perks.

you lean closer, your hand brushing lightly against his, the perfect image of affection. "you’re right," you say, your voice low, almost teasing. "we’re meant to have it all."

and that’s exactly what you plan to get.

lucas

lucas stands at the edge of the room, watching you scroll through your phone with that lazy, practiced smile he’s grown used to. you don’t even need to look up to know his eyes are on you—he’s always watching. always assessing.

“you ever think about what comes next?” he asks softly, voice barely above a whisper.

you glance up, feigning curiosity. “next like… what?” you already know.

“a real life,” he says, moving closer, his hands tucked in his pockets. “something solid. a family.”

you tilt your head, studying him. you know what he wants—what he’s been hinting at for weeks. he’s too careful to say it outright, too controlled to beg for it. but it’s written in the way he starts keeping extra toothbrushes in the bathroom. the vitamins in the kitchen cabinet. the way he holds your waist like you might vanish.

“with me?” you ask sweetly, tilting your head in mock innocence.

he nods once, slow. “yeah. with you.”

a pause.

“i think you’d be good at it. being a parent. i see it.”

you smile, soft and distant, the kind that keeps him guessing. of course he wants a child. a future. something permanent to anchor you to him. but you? you just want the stability, the luxury, the money. you don’t care about late-night feedings or milestones. what you care about is the black card in your purse and the name on the lease.

“let’s take our time,” you say, your voice smooth and sweet like honey. “we’ve got everything we need right now, don’t we?”

lucas watches you for a moment, his expression unreadable. but you can tell he’s clinging to hope. clinging to you.

“yeah,” he murmurs, almost to himself. “we do.”

you lean forward, kiss his cheek like a reward. because that’s all this is—a game. and the deeper he falls, the more you win.

nathan

you find nathan in the kitchen, hunched over the stove with a recipe book cracked open beside him. the scent of something overly sweet lingers in the air—his attempt at baking again. it’s endearing, in a clumsy sort of way. he looks up when you walk in, startled like he always is, cheeks already flushed.

“hey,” he says, brushing flour off his hands. “i, uh… i made something. thought you might like it.”

you smile, amused by how nervous he gets just offering you dessert. “how thoughtful,” you say, stepping closer, letting your fingers trail along the counter like you own the place—which you practically do by now.

he watches your every move, eyes wide, anxious. “i was thinking, um… it’s kinda dumb, but…” he hesitates, then blurts, “do you ever think about kids? like, maybe someday?”

your smile doesn’t falter, but inside, you’re rolling your eyes. he’s been skirting around this topic for days now—staring too long when you walk past, buying things he thinks you might need “just in case.”

you lean against the counter, all soft glances and false affection. “you really think i’d be good at that?”

his face lights up like you handed him the sun. “yeah. yeah, i do. you’re already amazing. you’re everything i ever… i mean—” he stops himself, voice trailing into nothing.

you tilt your head, feigning interest. “maybe someday. just not right now.”

he nods quickly, eyes cast down. “of course. no pressure. i didn’t mean to rush anything. i just… i like thinking about it. about us.”

you reach out and touch his hand lightly, just enough to keep him hopeful. he melts under the contact, bashful and grateful, clinging to the fantasy he’s built around you.

you take a bite of the too-sweet dessert and smile. not because it’s good—but because it’s working. he’ll give you everything. and all you have to do is let him believe.

kai

you wake up to the sound of kai pacing the bedroom. the curtains are still drawn, the room bathed in that pale gray light that makes everything feel dreamlike. he’s muttering to himself, barefoot, shirt half-buttoned like he forgot how to finish getting dressed. when he sees you stir, he lights up like a fuse.

“you’re awake,” he says too fast, too excited. “i was thinking. we should just do it.”

you blink, still groggy. “do what?”

“get married,” he says, stepping toward the bed. “why are we waiting? we don’t need a big wedding. we could just go. right now. vegas. or a courthouse. something private. something just ours.”

you stare at him for a second, then sit up slowly, letting the sheet slip just enough to keep his attention. “kai, it’s six in the morning.”

he laughs, a shaky little sound. “i know. but i couldn’t sleep. i kept thinking about it. about you. about us. it’s not just about love anymore. it’s about making this real.”

you tilt your head, watching how his hands tremble slightly. he’s always running too hot—too much energy, too much emotion. and he dumps it all into you.

“i want a life with you,” he says, crouching next to the bed now, his eyes wide and bloodshot. “a family. a home. i wanna come home to you every day, and know it’s permanent. no doubts. no distance.”

you reach out and brush your fingers along his jaw, your expression soft and practiced. “that’s sweet, kai. but maybe we should talk about it when you’re not… so worked up.”

his face shifts—hurt flickering across it like a crack in glass. but he nods anyway. “yeah. okay. yeah.”

you already know he’ll bring it up again—probably tomorrow. he wants to trap you in love, in rings and contracts and babies. and you? you want the penthouse, the trips, the wild, obsessive devotion he throws at your feet like offerings.

“come back to bed,” you say sweetly, tugging him by the wrist. “we’ve got time to figure it all out.”

he lets you pull him close, curling around you like a storm ready to break.

and all you have to do is keep him just unsteady enough to never question a thing.

matthew

matthew’s already in the kitchen when you step inside, sleeves rolled, apron spotless, breakfast lined up like it belongs in a magazine. the scent of lemon and herbs is sharp in the air, too clean for this early.

he doesn’t greet you—just gives you a once-over with narrowed eyes and pulls a chair out. “you look pale,” he says. “have you been sleeping? i told you to take the vitamins. the ones in the glass jar, not the white bottle.”

you sigh dramatically, dragging your feet a little as you sit. “i took something,” you lie.

he frowns, already moving to pour you a glass of water. “not something. the right thing. consistency matters, especially now.”

he sets the water down with a quiet clink, then brushes a hand over your forehead like he’s checking for a fever. you don’t pull away. you’ve learned not to.

“you need to be careful,” he says. “i’ve been doing research. early nutrition, hormone balance, sleep cycles. i’ll start meal-prepping. no caffeine, no stress. we’ll take it day by day.”

you arch a brow. “we?”

his jaw tightens. “you’re not doing this alone. this isn’t just about you—it’s about us. about the baby.”

you blink, slow and calculated. “matthew,” you murmur, voice soft and lilting, “i’m not even—”

“yet,” he cuts in. “not yet. but it’s going to happen. i’ve already cleared out the guest room. i’ve got names written down. and i want you resting more. no more of those late nights with your friends. they’re a bad influence.”

you stifle a smile behind your glass. “you’re serious.”

he steps closer, brushing invisible lint from your shoulder, fixing your collar like you’re a doll on display. “i’m always serious. this matters. you matter. and our child will have everything. structure, calm, care. they won’t grow up in chaos.”

his fingers linger at your wrist, possessive without pressure.

“you don’t have to think,” he adds, almost gently. “just follow the routine. i’ll handle the rest. you’ll see—it’ll all fall into place.”

you meet his eyes, innocent and trusting, masking the truth beneath practiced sweetness. you don’t want the baby. never did. but he wants this so badly he’s practically trembling from the pressure of his own devotion.

so you nod, just enough to keep him content. let him dote and micromanage, let him spiral deeper into the fantasy. because as long as he thinks you’re on board, he’ll do anything for you. and you’re not about to give that up

leo

leo sits on the couch, his body slightly hunched, nervously fiddling with his phone. he’s been texting you for hours, sending small, pointless updates about his day. the moment you step inside, his whole face lights up, and his eyes immediately scan you up and down as if checking for anything wrong.

“hey, are you okay?” he asks, voice filled with concern that makes him seem like a lost puppy.

you shrug, brushing past him toward the kitchen. “just tired.”

“no, you don’t look tired. you look…” leo follows you, but stops at the doorway, his hands wringing in front of him. “you look… stressed. do you need to sit down? i can make you something. i know you like that chamomile tea. i remember.”

you roll your eyes, a small smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. “leo, I’m fine.”

he’s quiet for a moment, but his gaze doesn’t leave you. it’s a soft, almost pleading look, like he’s waiting for you to need him in some way. the truth is, you know exactly how to manipulate him. you’ve been doing it for a while now. every word, every glance, feeds into the desperate need he has to take care of you.

he bites his lip, still standing in the doorway, his words slow, cautious. “you know… i was thinking about us today. about what comes next.” he steps closer, a nervous energy radiating off of him. “i want us to be… more, you know? i want us to be together forever. i know we can have something special. i… i want to build a life with you. a family, maybe. i know it’s a lot, but i’ll do whatever you need. we’ll have a nice place, a perfect home. you, me, and our future.”

he trails off, waiting for you to respond, but you can see the unease in his posture, like he’s afraid to push too hard.

you can almost feel the weight of his hopes pressing down on you, and yet, the more he talks, the more your mind drifts, calculating how to keep him hooked without giving up too much.

you glance over at him, your voice dripping with reassurance. “we’ve got plenty of time to think about that,” you say sweetly, taking a seat at the counter. “no need to rush into things.”

leo visibly relaxes, though his gaze stays on you like a hawk. “yeah, but… i just want to make sure you know how much i care. you’re everything to me. i’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you’re happy. i want to be the one who takes care of you. i can’t imagine my life without you.”

his words are almost desperate, and it’s clear he means them with every fiber of his being. leo’s never been good at holding back his feelings, but it makes him easy to manipulate—he’s so emotionally dependent on your approval that you don’t even have to try hard.

you let your eyes soften, making him feel like he’s won just a little bit. “i know, leo,” you say, your voice kind and warm. “but there’s no rush, okay? let’s just enjoy what we have now.”

he nods enthusiastically, almost too eagerly, as if your words were the reassurance he needed. his hands twitch at his sides, wanting to do something for you, to prove his love and devotion. but you know what he needs most is your constant attention, your affirmation, and you’ll give it to him as long as it keeps the luxuries rolling in.

he moves closer, gently brushing your hair from your face with a tenderness that’s almost suffocating. “whatever you need, i’m here. always.”

you smile, just enough to keep him believing that the fantasy he’s built in his head could actually come true. in reality, you don’t want the future he dreams of. but for now, his affections are just too easy to accept, too useful to ignore.

“thanks, leo,” you say, leaning into his touch. “you’re too sweet.”

he beams at your words, his face glowing with happiness, but you can see the cracks of insecurity hidden beneath the surface. he’s so ready to give you everything, but he still needs to hear you say it. you don’t say the words out loud, but the smile you flash is more than enough to keep him wrapped around your finger for now.

he steps back, still hovering in the doorway like he can’t quite pull himself away. “anything you want. just say the word,” he murmurs, his voice full of quiet desperation.

and you know you’ll never have to say much. he’ll keep offering, keep giving, as long as you keep playing the part.

xavier

xavier leans back in his chair, watching you with an intensity that makes your stomach flip. he’s usually so confident, but tonight there’s something different in his eyes—something raw, almost vulnerable.

“i’ve been thinking about settling down,” he says, his voice lower than usual, almost thoughtful. he doesn’t take his eyes off of you, waiting for a response. “i’ve got everything—money, power, success. but none of that matters without someone to share it with. someone who’s truly in this with me. someone i can count on.”

his hand rests on the arm of his chair, fingers drumming slowly as he watches you closely. "you know, i’m not getting any younger," he says, as though he's thinking out loud. "i’ve built everything i need. money, power, status… but it’s all meaningless without someone to share it with. someone who’s in it for the long haul. and that’s where you come in."

he pauses, his gaze softening as he leans forward, elbows resting on his knees. “i’m done with the games. i want a life. i want a family. i want you. i want us to build something real. a future. a home. kids.” he looks at you with a seriousness that makes your pulse quicken. “i want to settle down, but only if you’re in it with me.”

you lean back, your fingers drumming on the edge of your glass, taking in his words. there's no hint of hesitation in his tone, no doubt in the way he speaks. everything he says sounds like it’s already planned, already decided.

“settling down? that’s not exactly what i had in mind,” you reply coolly, trying to keep your voice even. inside, though, you're calculating. the future he’s offering sounds tempting, but it comes with too much weight, too much commitment. it's not what you need right now.

xavier’s smile falters, just slightly, before he recovers. “but think about it,” he urges, his voice low and persistent. “we could have it all—kids, a future, everything you’ve ever dreamed of. i can give you that.”

you tilt your head, pretending to consider it, but your mind is already elsewhere. a family? that would tie you down, take away your freedom, your ability to move freely in the world. the money, the luxury, the life you crave—that’s what you want. the rest is just a distraction.

“i don’t know if that’s really my thing,” you reply with a forced smile. “i like things the way they are now. no strings attached. freedom.” you shrug slightly. “you know, enjoying life. luxury. i’m not really ready to jump into something so… permanent.”

xavier’s smile drops, just a little, but he recovers quickly. there’s a flicker of disappointment in his eyes, but he doesn’t push. instead, he leans back, crossing his arms and watching you, a calculating look now in place.

“i see,” he says slowly, his voice steady, though there's a hint of something else beneath it. “i guess we’ll just have to see where this goes, then.”

damien

damien looks at you with that soft, almost pensive gaze, as if he's carefully choosing his words, not wanting to overwhelm you. his presence is calming, but there's something undeniably serious in the way he speaks tonight.

"i’ve been thinking," he starts, his voice steady but filled with a quiet emotion. "about the future... about us, and how we could build a life together." his hand finds its way to yours, gently holding it as if grounding both of you in the moment. "i don’t just want a relationship with you. i want everything. a life. a family."

he leans in closer, his eyes never leaving yours. "imagine it," he continues, the words slow, almost like he’s picturing it in his mind. "a home, just the two of us and our child. a place where we’re not just living—where we’re really building something, a legacy. i want to be there for you, always. i want to take care of you, provide for you and our child. i know i can make it happen. i can give you a future, a real one."

his hand tightens just slightly around yours, not possessively, but with a sincerity that catches you off guard. "i see us growing old together, you know?" he says, his voice soft but confident. "building our lives, raising a family. you and me, together in this life i know we could have. everything would fall into place."

he pauses, his eyes searching yours, like he’s waiting for some sign that you see it too, that you can picture it as clearly as he does. "i know it’s a lot to ask," he admits, his tone slightly vulnerable. "but i believe in us. in what we could be. and if you’re willing, i want to share that with you."

there’s a weight to his words that feels different from the others. it’s not a plea or demand, but a quiet promise, a glimpse into the life he’s hoping to build with you. and as much as you try to push the idea aside, you can’t help but wonder—could this life he’s imagining be what you’re looking for, too?

but the truth is, it’s not the child he offers that catches your attention. it’s the luxury, the comfort of the future he’s offering you, that glimmers in your mind like a shiny, new prize. but you stay silent, hiding your true intentions, letting him believe you’re on the same page.

each one of them is so sure. so certain. their love, their desire to make you a part of their future, feels real, genuine. their words are sweet, full of promises, of things you’ve never allowed yourself to imagine. they see you as more than just a passing moment—they see you as the center of their world, as the one who will carry their legacy, their love, their future.

and yet, despite all their tenderness, all their devotion, a feeling creeps inside you—one that’s hard to shake. they love you, yes, but they love you in a way that isn’t quite healthy. it’s possessive. it’s consuming. and somewhere beneath the softness of their words, you can feel the pressure building. they’re not just asking for your love—they’re asking for everything.

they want to tie you to them, forever.

and with each passing day, it becomes harder to breathe

you woke up one morning to find your birth control missing. not just one pill—the whole pack. you check your nightstand, your bag, the bathroom drawer. it’s gone.

you’re careful with things like this. you have to be, with eight different men orbiting your life. there’s no room for error.

you try not to panic. maybe you moved it. maybe it slipped behind something. but the longer you search, the more certain you become. someone took it.

your mind flashes back to nights you wish you could rewind. moments where you weren’t as guarded. where one of them stayed over a little too long.

nathan, maybe. he insisted on staying. said he missed you. said he wanted to be close again.

he held you tighter than usual. kissed your stomach. whispered things you brushed off at the time.

"you’d look good round," he said, voice thick against your skin. "glowing. soft."

you’d laughed, unsure how to answer. now you wonder if you should’ve taken it more seriously.

later that week, leo asks if you’ve been feeling okay. his tone is too sweet, too knowing.

"you’ve been looking different lately," he says. "in a good way. like you’re changing."

you keep your face calm. smile like always.

"i just want you to be healthy," he adds. "you are taking care of yourself, right? eating enough? sleeping?"

you nod, but your stomach turns.

that night, you go to buy a new pack. the pharmacy clerk gives you a funny look, says, “didn’t you just buy these a few days ago?”

you didn’t.

someone did. someone pretending to be you.

your phone lights up again. it’s xavier this time.

have you been thinking about the future?

then kai: if something happened—something big—you’d tell me, right?

they don’t know about each other. they’re still in the dark, still convinced they’re the only one who matters.

but something’s shifted.

they’ve stopped talking like lovers. they’ve started sounding like planners.

you check your cabinets again and find a fresh box of prenatal vitamins, tucked behind your cereal.

you didn’t buy those.

you try to steady your breath.

they’re still oblivious to each other.

but not to you.

you’re the one thing they all want to keep. and they’re ready to make sure you never leave.

lately, they’ve been acting strange. clingier. needier. but it’s not just about where you go or who you’re with anymore.

it’s about what your body could give them.

their obsessions are mutating. no longer satisfied with your time, your attention, your presence—they want permanence. blood. legacy. a way to keep you tethered.

and they all have the same idea.

your phone buzzes, another string of messages lighting up the screen.

"you’re not answering. are you with someone else?"

"i had a dream you were carrying my child."

"come over. now."

they’re getting bolder. and richer.

luxury handbags, wired deposits, fine jewelry—all gifts, all apologies wrapped in money and obsession. you take them. you always have. you let them believe they can buy you, that their love is currency. but now the stakes have changed. they don’t just want to own your time. they want to own your body. your future.

when you step out of your building that afternoon, kai is already waiting at the curb, grinning like he belongs there. he opens the car door. "i found us a place. quiet. private. with room to grow."

that night, you catch elijah slipping something into your drink. he smiles when you confront him. "it’s just a supplement. good for fertility. you said you felt tired lately, remember?"

nathan leaves a black card on your vanity with a note: "for you and the baby. when you’re ready."

lucas starts asking questions about your family history. medical things. subtle at first, but then specific—like he’s researching.

matthew hands you a shopping bag with designer clothes for "future stages," as he puts it. "don’t worry about money. you’ll have everything you need. forever."

leo shows you a bank account he opened in your name. "for emergencies," he says. but there’s a clause at the bottom: joint parental use only.

xavier holds you longer after sex. "i’d give you the world," he murmurs. "you’d never want for anything again. just give me this."

damien starts sleeping over more often. always watching. always touching your stomach.

they don’t want you free. they want you claimed.

and you’re beginning to wonder if they’d rather trap you with comfort than fear.

money can be a cage, too.

a beautiful one. a quiet one.

and this time, it's holding a threat of diapers and diamonds.

there’s a knock at the door.

soft. then louder.

then a voice through the wood—low, familiar, insistent:

"open up, baby. we need to talk."

you freeze.

because it’s not one voice.

it’s two—one from the front door, one from the back entrance behind you.

and they both call you the same thing.

but neither knows the other is there.

[zolass]

Lust and Envy PT. 2 Top Male Reader x Perv Male Best Friend OC

Part 2 finally here, thought I'll feed y'all with some smut after leaving y'all kinda dry with the progression of 'Detectives Attraction' I'm not sure if I'll maybe post another start of a fic or some smut with characters. smut kinda lame ngl bc I also looked up tips for smut bc I'm not satisfied with how I write it.

cw: Cheating, Sex without protection, yes Nathan broke up with Lexie after getting his brain fucked out the night before.

1.1k words

You didn’t know exactly how or why you continued– maybe the fact that you didn’t want Nathan to be all pouty and annoying again around you, or because he looked rather cute when he begged you for something. So that’s how you were once again sitting on the bed after fucking Lexie in front of your best friend. 

Surprisingly it didn’t take long for the woman to leave yet again, which made you sigh in relief, before you leaned back on the bed, your arms holding you up while you looked at the brown haired male. “Satisfied now? Or–” your words cut off as you still saw the painfully hard cock, weeping precum while he blushed heavily with tears in the corner of his eyes.

A small frown formed on your face, “Do you need help with that?” you simply asked, without questioning, which made Nathan focus on you. Slowly he nodded while biting his lip, in return you only tapped your lap. Your best friend quickly stood up from the chair and pulled his pants off completely after they only hung on his thighs, before he walked over to you.

When he sat down on your naked thigh, feeling your warm sweaty skin against his had him almost weak in the legs while his cock throbbed. You only watched his face, tears in his eyes and red cheeks and slightly bruising lips. He looked so pitiful in your eyes, while he sat on your lap you couldn’t help but place one hand on his waist while your other hand wrapped around his weeping cock, which enlightened a moan from the other. 

“I’ll jerk you off, okay?” Nathan only nodded, as his arms looped around your neck. Moans spilled from his lips as you started to move your hand, the precum making it easier as the wet sounds reverberated in your ears along with Nathan’s moans. It didn’t take long for Nathan to cum, his back arched pushing his chest against yours, while his body trembled.

White cum spurted from his tip, painting your torso and his shirt, as you continued to stimulate him through his orgasm until the last spurt of cum came out of his tip. You can’t lie the lewd face of your best friend sent blood rushing to your cock, which pressed right against his ass.

But instead of a disgusted look– Nathan tried to grind down on it, making your breath hitch, “Come on–” Nathan whined as he placed open-mouthed kisses against your jaw, “I turn you on– you turn me on, let’s just give in,” his lips brushed against yours as his eyes found yours, “Fuck me.” It wasn’t a softly spoken request– it almost sounded like a demand, which made you chuckle.

“Didn’t think you were one to cheat on your girl– especially not with your male best friend, Nate.” You said with a raised eyebrow, “I would’ve said she doesn’t need to know for the thrill– but the way she’s eyeing you, it would be for the better if she knew, no?” Nathan whispered, while his words made you raise the other eyebrow as well. “You sound like you have more feelings for me than her–” “I thought it was obvious– I might be a dick for using her to have a view of how you’re in bed, but now that I have the chance to be the one that gets fucked by you– I don’t see why I should continue the relationship,” Nathan shrugged his shoulders as if it was nothing, 

You were– speechless for obvious reasons, but you threw your doubts out of the window when Nathan placed a kiss on your lips, “Let’s focus on us, okay?” He asked oh so sweetly, which made you swallow and nod, but just as your best friend was ready to get back into action pressing your cock against his rim, you stopped him, “Don’t you need–” “To prep myself? I already did that before you fucked her, because I knew I would get what I want,” Nathan chuckled. 

“Also I don’t think we’ll be needing this,” with those words he pulled the condom off of your aching cock, before letting the condom drop onto the ground, before he grabbed the lube bottle and popped the lid open, to squeeze some lube onto your cock. You only placed your other hand on Nathan’s waist, as you watched how he kneeled above your lap, with your cock in his hands as he was so focused on getting your tip in after rubbing the lube over your length, and as the warm tightness of his hole wrapped around your tip, you couldn’t help but groan and grab his hips tightly. 

The brunette suddenly dropped onto your lap– shoving your entire length roughly into his hole, making him let out a shameless loud moan with an arched back and eyes rolled back in pleasure while enlightening a groan from you as you tighten your grip on his skin. Nathan didn’t waste too much time and started to lift and drop his hips, until he found a comfortable pace for both of you making him ride your cock sometimes quicker and then slower while his hole clenched and unclenched around it.

Nathan loved the feeling of having your cock slide in and out of his hole, reaching deep inside prodding against his prostate, accompanied with the wet squelching sound. You started to thrust up into him, as his legs trembled. Oftentimes your lips crashed together into a heated make-out which was interrupted by the needy and breathy moans from your best friend, with your thrusts and hands on his waist guiding him to bounce on your cock it made Nathan never wanting this to stop– even as his second orgasm hit him. His sweaty forehead laid on your shoulder, as a moan erupted from his throat. Your blunt nails dug into his plush skin, as his hole tightened around your cock pushing you over the edge making you spurt cum into his hole painting the velvety walls white.

You felt Nathan clinged to you after the high ebbed away, making you both heave in breaths occasionally with a kiss sneaked in between. You couldn’t help but caress his sweaty back as he kissed you, his hands on your cheeks as the kiss deepened. Slowly both of you pulled away just enough for him to speak, “What are we now?” He was nervous as he asked you this– not wanting to ruin it after everything. 

But how could you label it suddenly, “Let’s figure it out together alright?” You only asked him, making him nod as he bit his lower lip. “How about another round?” Nathan suddenly asked, to which you didn’t say no, leading to a long night shared between, what once were, two best friends.

[honeyhaeya]

(🔐)🖇 ༘ ⋆"How to Date Discreetly"

' ╰┈ "the day that i met you i started dreaming"

' ' 박성훈 x fem!reader

🎧ྀི 'ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Kingston (Faye Webster)

♫⋆₊˚ ﾟ. 'ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ genre / tags: idol!sunghoon x idol!reader, ice prince x reckless rookie, secret & established relationship, enemies to lovers (kinda), fluff, smut (2nd part) – MDNI, angst (minor), a pinch of comedy ੈ✩‧₊˚warnings: NSFW WARNINGS ON CHAPTER 2 (no smut on this part) ! smut, slight jealousy (m), language, detailed explicit scenes, angst (minor), reader on the pill (birth control), mutual hate that’s just actually horny confusion, mild hate (online), – ugh, theyre so in love, its intoxicating ✩‧₊˚ wc: 6472 –1/2 (mini series) ੈ♡ a/n: lol this is peak delusion. dont like, dont read. also, im open for constructive critisism but fact checks or logical expected outcome are out of the picture, come on yall, this is fanfiction. also, wtf. shit, i really made this? hoon is so fucking adorable, argue with me if you disagree :p . uploading part two tomorrow 5pm kst :) part two is up and posted *^★ playlist: kingston (faye webster), lowkey (niki), august (taylor swift), soft spot (keshi), always (daniel caesar), best part (daniel caesar & h.e.r.), almost is never enough (ariana grande & nathan sykes)

dating was never hard for you.

you breezed through high school with a boyfriend for every semester, each one a lesson in love. you weren’t heartless—you did like them. maybe not enough to cry after the breakups, but enough to smile while it lasted.

you were living the easy life. pretty, popular, and always in love with something… or someone.

but all of that changed on a thursday afternoon.

you’d just turned down a free meal from your friends (and it was their treat, ugh) because your sister texted you, “buy the skincare stuff i told you about. only from that store near the station. they run out fast.”

so there you were, dodging pedestrians, phone in hand, a bit annoyed, very hungry.

you sighed, glancing at your screen for the third time—no calls, no new texts.

and then you noticed her.

a woman, maybe mid-thirties, blazer and red lipstick, standing across the sidewalk and watching you.

your brows knit instinctively. weird. you kept walking.

but then she followed.

“excuse me,” she said, heels clicking as she caught up to you.

you turned. “uh… yes?”

she smiled, like she already knew you. “sorry if this is random. i’m a manager at (-) entertainment. and… have you ever thought of becoming an idol?”

you blinked.

“me?”

“you’ve got the face. the vibe. we’re recruiting trainees right now. it’s competitive, but i think you have a real shot.”

you stared. was this real? was she legit?

she pulled out a card, glossy and gold-trimmed. it looked expensive. official.

“call this number,” she said. “auditions are still required, but… i can pull a few strings.”

and just like that, she walked away.

later that night

you sat at the dinner table, card on your lap, phone in your hand, still processing.

“what’s that?” your sister asked, peering over.

“uh… a manager gave it to me,” you muttered. “she wants me to audition. to be a trainee.”

your mom nearly dropped her spoon.

your dad blinked like he misheard.

“a what now?” he asked.

your sister grabbed the card, eyes wide. “no way. (-) entertainment? they’re huge. that’s, like, the company.”

“it’s probably fake,” you said quickly. “i mean, i haven’t even danced in public before.”

your mom smiled gently. “if it’s something you’re curious about… we’ll support you.”

“what if i’m not good enough?”

“then you’ll try. and if it’s not for you, you’ll walk away knowing you tried.”

your sister nudged your arm. “do it, loser. if you debut, i can brag about you.”

you laughed, but your heart was pounding.

a few weeks later, you stood backstage after your audition, heart thumping, palms sweaty.

the evaluator handed your file to someone behind them.

“she’s raw,” the woman murmured. “but i like her. give her the green light.”

that night, you got the call.

you were officially a trainee.

you were late.

again.

you burst into the practice room, sneakers squeaking against the floor, hair sticking to your forehead. seven other trainees glanced up—some sympathetic, some smug. the trainer didn’t even look surprised.

but he did.

sunghoon.

he was leaning against the mirror, arms crossed, black sweatpants, white shirt clinging to him like he’d already been at it for hours. perfect posture. flawless control. and the most judgmental eyes you’ve ever seen.

“this is the third time this week,” he said flatly.

you rolled your eyes, dropping your bag. “thanks for counting, mom.”

a snicker echoed from someone in the back. the trainer sighed.

“five laps. now,” she barked.

you groaned and started running.

sunghoon turned to the trainer. “i don’t know why you waste time on people who can’t take this seriously.”

you stopped mid-lap, heart racing for a new reason.

“excuse me?”

he glanced at you, cool and unbothered. “you heard me.”

“you don’t even know me.”

“i don’t have to. it’s obvious.”

you wanted to throw your shoe at him. or maybe yourself—how dare he look like that while being such an ass?

“you know, not everyone got trained with a silver spoon in their mouth,” you snapped. “some of us have to catch up.”

his jaw clenched. oh. that got to him.

“then maybe catch up quietly.”

later that week

“again!” the vocal coach yelled. “you're off tempo!”

you bit your lip, trying to hide how winded you were. sunghoon stood beside you, breathing steady, voice perfect, hair annoyingly perfect.

when the session ended, you stayed behind, muttering the chorus under your breath, trying to fix it. your body ached, throat dry.

“you’re holding your breath wrong,” he said suddenly.

you jumped. “oh my god—can you not sneak up like that?”

he leaned against the doorframe, arms folded again. why was he always doing that?

“i’m not sneaking. you’re just slow.”

“and you’re just insufferable.”

he walked over, stopped behind you.

“breathe here,” he said, lightly tapping your stomach. “not up here.” he tapped your chest.

you tensed. “if you’re going to insult me again, don’t bother.”

he sighed. not annoyed. tired. softer than you expected.

“look. i don’t think you’re bad. i just think… you’re distracted.”

you turned, suspicious. “and what would you know about me?”

he shrugged. “nothing. yet.”

your heartbeat did the most annoying little skip.

“for next week’s evaluation,” the trainer said, scribbling on the board, “you’ll be performing in pairs.”

groans. whispers. panic.

sunghoon raised his hand, calm as ever. “do we get to choose partners?”

the trainer gave him a tight-lipped smile.

“no.”

and then she said your name.

and then she said his.

dead. silence.

sunghoon’s head snapped toward you. you were already staring, wide-eyed, mouth open like someone just told you santa wasn’t real and sunghoon would be your new stepdad.

“what?” you said.

“no.” he said at the same time.

the trainer arched a brow. “you two clearly have chemistry.”

“hate-mistry,” you muttered.

“professionalism, park,” she said. “and you, too, y/n. if either of you screws this up, you’re both out of the showcase.”

that shut you up real fast.

day one of practicing together

you stood at the center of the room, arms crossed, glaring at him.

he mirrored you, looking about three seconds from snapping.

“you need to follow my lead,” he said.

“and you need to drop your ego.”

“i’ve been training for years.”

“cool, i’ve been dancing since i was five.”

“not the same.”

“let’s find out.”

music blasted through the speaker—some upbeat, sexy number that had no business making this situation worse.

and yet—you kept up. every move. every beat. matching him step for step, hips snapping, body sharp. when you spun and ended up right in front of him, close enough to feel his breath—

he blinked. stunned. just a little.

you smirked.

“not bad,” you said.

his ears went pink.

day three

you both ran the routine again. and again. until sweat dripped from your jaw and your hair clung to your temples.

the trainer clapped slowly from behind.

“didn’t expect that,” she said. “y/n—your control improved. and sunghoon, i’m glad you finally look like you're dancing with someone instead of against them.”

your lips twitched.

he side-eyed you. “don’t let it go to your head.”

you grinned. “you’re just mad i’m good.”

he didn’t respond.

later, as you wiped your face with a towel, he walked over—less guarded. still annoyingly perfect.

“you really haven’t trained before?”

you shook your head. “just picked things up. why?”

he hesitated.

“…you’re a fast learner.”

you looked up, surprised.

“and you don’t hesitate. most new trainees wait for permission to mess up.”

you blinked. “…was that a compliment?”

he smirked, turning away. “no.”

(yes.)

the music cuts. your breath is caught somewhere between your chest and throat. sunghoon’s hand is still on your waist. your head is tilted back, lips just barely parted—and his eyes are on you. unreadable.

nobody moves.

"are they dating or something?" someone whispers too loudly.

"wow?" another trainee mutters.

the trainer exhales like she just witnessed art.

“that…” she starts, arms crossed, eyebrows raised. “was beyond what i asked for.”

you try to catch your breath. your body still buzzing from the adrenaline. from the dance. from him.

you don’t look at sunghoon when you mutter, “told you i wasn’t just a pretty face.”

but you feel it—how his grip on you lingers just a beat too long before he lets go.

you’re surrounded before you can even step off the floor. compliments, questions, stares—all of it buzzing in your ears.

“that was insane—”

“i didn’t even know she could dance like that.”

“how did they sync so well?”

“isn’t she new?”

you brush past it. you’re used to attention, sure. but this? this is different. this is real.

you find your way to a bench, just as someone flops down next to you.

“you’re kind of a show-off,” yeonjun says, nudging your arm.

you scoff. “jealous?”

“nah, just impressed. you looked like you were born on stage.”

you grin. “thanks.”

he pauses. “...but dancing that close to sunghoon? bold move.”

you roll your eyes. “wasn’t like i had a choice.”

across the room, sunghoon watches. sighing.

“you good?” jay asks, sipping his water bottle.

sunghoon’s averted. “he’s touching her.”

jay raises an eyebrow, finding you and a man together on a bench. “you mean yeonjun?”

“who else would i mean?”

jay blinks. “you do realize you sound like a jealous boyfriend right now?”

sunghoon scoffs. “i’m not jealous.”

“sure.”

“i’m not,” he repeats, harsher this time.

you pass by just in time to catch that last line.

you freeze. look back. sunghoon doesn’t see you.

but now you’ve seen him. and something about that look on his face—it doesn’t match the version of him you’ve built in your head.

your knee twinges wrong during a routine—small misstep, sharp sting. you hiss, stumble, fall back on the floor.

the door creaks open.

you tense—expecting a trainer or staff. instead, it’s sunghoon. of course it’s sunghoon.

“what the hell are you doing here alone?” he asks, stepping in.

you glare. “i could ask you the same thing.”

he walks over anyway. crouches beside you. “you could’ve gotten seriously hurt.”

“i didn’t,” you mutter, but the way you’re holding your leg says otherwise.

without another word, he grabs the first aid kit from the wall. wraps your knee like he’s done it a hundred times before.

you watch him. confused. curious. quiet.

“…you really care about this, huh?” he says eventually, not looking at you.

“about what?”

“training. performing. dancing.”

you shrug. “is that surprising?”

“a little.”

“why? because i don’t break my back trying to look perfect in front of the trainers?”

“because you make it look easy.”

you pause. “it’s not. i just don’t let anyone see when it’s hard.”

that makes him glance at you. just for a second. then—

“…you’re good, you know.”

you blink. “what?”

“you’re good. at this. i just didn’t want to admit it before.”

you laugh, breathless. “was that… a compliment?”

he stands up, tossing the bandage wrapper in the bin.

“don’t get used to it,” he mutters.

but he doesn’t leave.

and neither do you.

sunghoon was irritated. no—scratch that. he was pissed.

you were laughing at something yeonjun said, all wide-eyed and glossy-lipped, head tilted back like he just told the funniest joke in existence. maybe he did. maybe he didn’t. either way, hoon didn’t like the view from across the room.

he wasn’t sure what ticked him off more—the way your fingers brushed yeonjun’s arm, or the way yeonjun let them.

“you good?” jay asked beside him, noticing the stiff jaw, the tight grip on his water bottle.

“fine.”

a lie.

jay wasn’t stupid.

“you’ve got a weird definition of fine if it includes staring daggers at yeonjun’s face.”

sunghoon didn’t respond. just looked away. jay chuckled.

“she’s cute, huh.”

hoon scoffed. “please. she’s a walking red flag.”

“yeah?”

“yeah. too bold. too flirty. i don’t get how she always gets praise like that.”

jay grinned knowingly. “you mean, praise like she danced better than you yesterday?”

sunghoon gave him a flat look. jay laughed again. “man, just admit it. you like her.”

what he didn’t know was that you were behind the door, holding your breath. oh, you heard that. every word.

so the next day? you stepped on the gas.

“sunghoon,” you greeted, your voice all sugar and sin. “nice to see you glaring at me from across the room again. missed my face that much?”

his eyes narrowed. “you wish.”

“oh, i know you do,” you said with a smirk, stepping just a little too close. “you get jealous so easily. it’s kinda cute.”

“you’re delusional.”

“mm, maybe. but i’m also winning this little game we have.”

“what game?”

“oh, so you do admit we’re playing one.”

he didn’t answer. you leaned in, lips near his ear.

“catch up, sunghoon. or i’ll flirt with someone else again.”

the hallway was dark except for the faint glow bleeding under one door.

you already knew it was him.

you hesitated, then knocked—lightly, like a whisper.

inside, the music wasn’t playing. just silence. and when you opened the door and peeked in, you found him sitting with his back against the mirror, sweat-drenched shirt clinging to his skin, eyes heavy like they hadn’t rested in days.

he looked up. tired. annoyed, maybe.

“what do you want?”

you raised a brow. “aw, you missed me that much?”

he didn’t laugh. just huffed, dropping his head back against the mirror.

you walked in anyway.

“heard your team’s debut’s getting real close,” you said, plopping down next to him on the floor, knees brushing. “congrats.”

he didn’t respond.

you looked at him sideways, voice gentler now. “you okay?”

he nodded, but his fingers were twitchy—fiddling with his rings, bouncing his knee. anxious.

“you don’t look okay.”

he let out a breath. it shook a little.

you leaned forward, peeking at his face. “when was the last time you even slept?”

“don’t remember.”

you reached into your bag and tossed him a mini water bottle. “hydrate, superstar.”

he caught it, glanced at you. “why are you even here?”

you shrugged. “i could say i was worried. or that i heard music earlier and came to see what you were working on.”

you paused. “but honestly? you looked like a kicked puppy lately. i thought i’d put you out of your misery.”

he snorted. actually snorted.

progress.

you beamed. “there it is! that cute little laugh.”

“wasn’t a laugh.”

“was a laugh,” you said firmly. “i have excellent ears. dancer ears. and that? that was a giggle.”

he shook his head, hiding the smile pulling at his lips.

you fell quiet for a bit. then, in a softer voice:

“must be scary. having everything come at you at once. pressure. cameras. fans. and barely anyone who really knows what you’re going through.”

his jaw tensed.

you leaned your head back, mirroring him.

“i think about it sometimes. how that might be me in a year or two. training ‘til i drop. debuting and... still feeling alone.”

you glanced at him. “but hey. at least you’re not alone right now, right?”

sunghoon turned to you.

your face was relaxed. you weren’t being kind out of pity. this wasn’t charity. it was just... you.

for a second, he forgot about everything else.

“you’re really annoying, you know,” he mumbled.

“and yet you look like you’d die without me.”

he looked away, but not before you saw the smile he tried to hide again.

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

the hallway was loud again. busy. debut-season chaos in full swing. managers barking schedules, stylists dragging suitcases, trainees practicing lines and formations in every corner.

you stood off to the side, sipping banana milk like you were just background noise.

“look alive, rookie,” someone called, nearly bumping into you.

you gave a lazy salute. “yes sir.”

just another day of not being noticed.

sunghoon passed by with his group—a cluster of stylists, staff, and busy energy. he didn’t look your way.

not that you cared.

but you didn't see the way he glanced back at you.

“people come and go,” you muttered, raising your banana milk like a toast. “that’s showbiz, baby.”

and then you tripped on a suitcase a stylist must've left there, you didn't see or too distracted to notice.

the banana milk went flying. your knees nearly kissed the floor. and when you looked up—sunghoon was right there.

of course he was.

he blinked down at you, eyebrows raised, and said nothing.

you, sprawled like a tragic mop, just smiled. “hi.”

he blinked, eyebrows raised. “you good?”

you held up the now half-empty drink. “well, the banana milk isn't.”

he bit back a smile. “that’s your third time tripping in front of me this month.”

you raised a brow. “you count my embarrassments now?”

“it's starting to feel intentional.”

you got up, brushing yourself off. “please, if i were trying to get your attention, i’d go bigger. maybe a cartwheel. or a dramatic monologue.”

“the floor dive was convincing.”

you smiled. “i like to keep it original.” then, a little quieter, “you’ve been busy lately.”

his smile faltered just slightly.

you waved it off. “no, seriously. you’ve got fans and press and a glam team. i’ve got... banana milk.”

“sounds like a solid support system.”

you laughed, but your smile faded when he glanced down the hall. his team was already moving.

“you should go,” you said. “hair and makeup’s waiting.”

he hesitated. “you sure?”

you nodded. “go be famous.”

he looked at you like he wanted to say more. but then he just nodded, and walked away.

you watched him leave. then looked down at your shoe.

still sticky.

“tragic,” you whispered.

a few days later

the vending machine blinked angrily at the girl in front of it.

the girl—probably thirteen, maybe fourteen—had her tiny fists clenched and was glaring up at the machine like it had insulted her ancestors.

you crouched beside her, trying not to laugh. “did the evil robot eat your money again?”

“yes!” she huffed. “i pressed the peach drink but it gave me black coffee! that’s not even close!”

you gasped, clutching your chest. “that’s betrayal. you’ve just been betrayed.”

“i don’t even like coffee! It tastes like burnt sadness!”

you dramatically nodded. “we must avenge you.”

she grinned. “you think I can sue?”

“only if you’ve got a lawyer. or at least a really angry eonni (older sister) .”

she tilted her head. “you’ll do.”

at that moment, you kicked the machine gently (totally just a little tap, you’re not trying to go viral for violence). and... silence. the drink didn't fall. awkward.

the little girl snorted, holding her laugh with all her might.

you smiled, laughing under your breath and kicking the vending machine again, a little love tap and—miraculously—the peach drink clunked down into the bin.

both of you screamed.

“victory!!” “you’re a vending machine master!”

you laughed. “told you i can save you.”

a low chuckle behind you made you freeze.

you turned, slow-motion style, to see sunghoon standing there with a water bottle. heeseung stood beside him, sweaty from practice and grinning.

heeseung gave a thumbs-up. “iconic vending machine diplomacy.”

sunghoon raised an eyebrow. “burnt sadness, huh?”

you stood up straight. “i—she didn’t mean—”

“she meant it,” the girl said proudly, sipping her drink. “she says it tastes like regret in a cup.”

you stared at her, betrayed. “you were supposed to have my back.”

sunghoon laughed. like, really laughed. the kind that made your stomach twist a little.

“didn’t know you were mentoring now.”

you shrugged. “somebody’s gotta fight for the little ones. didn't know you were keeping tabs on me now.”

heeseung grabbed his drink, still chuckling. “i’m hanging out here more often.”

sunghoon lingered, eyes still on you. “you’re good with kids.”

you blinked. “oh.”

he smiled, soft and small, before heading off. “try not to start a vending machine riot next time.”

you stood there, stuck.

the girl tugged your sleeve. “...you like him, huh?”

you looked down at her. “no idea what you’re talking about.”

she narrowed her eyes. “peach tea never lies.”

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

“i feel like i keep seeing her everywhere lately,” sunghoon said later, on their way back to the practice room.

heeseung gave him a look. “more like you keep noticing her.”

sunghoon didn’t answer right away. just stared ahead, thoughtful.

heeseung nudged him. “you’re smiling, dude.”

sunghoon wiped the smile off his face immediately. “no, i’m not.”

“you’re so obvious.”

he didn’t say anything for a while.

but later, he’d find himself glancing down hallways a little more. wondering if banana milk girl would be there.

just... wondering.

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

you hadn’t cried in weeks. not since training got serious.

but tonight? the moment the studio door clicked shut behind you, the tears came.

your hands were sore. your voice was gone. and no matter how hard you trained, you still felt behind—like everyone else had a head start and you were just catching up, slipping on a treadmill that wouldn't stop.

the mirror felt cruel. it always did when you weren’t at your best.

and then—

a knock. soft, careful.

you wiped your face fast, spinning around like nothing happened. “practice room’s full. try the one on the second floor.”

“already did.”

your breath hitched.

sunghoon stood in the doorway, hoodie pulled over his head, cap low. casual. unbothered. he should be prepping for stage performances, meetings, shoots—life after debut.

but he was here.

you blinked. “aren’t you like, super busy?”

he shrugged, stepping in. “don’t tell my manager.”

you let out a small laugh. it cracked.

he sat beside you like he belonged there. like no time had passed.

“you’ve been avoiding me,” he said softly.

“i’ve been busy.”

“so have i.”

you didn’t say anything.

he nudged you. “talk to me.”

you bit your cheek. “what’s there to talk about?”

he looked at you, really looked at you.

“you’re scared.”

you looked away. “i’m not.”

“you are.” he reached out, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. his fingers lingered just a second longer. “i was too.”

you met his eyes. they weren’t teasing or smug. just... warm.

“hoon, i’m the last trainee to enter and they expect me to keep up with girls who’ve been doing this for years. i feel like i’m constantly proving that i deserve to be here.”

“you don’t have to prove anything to anyone.”

“except everyone.”

he took your hand—held it. his thumb brushed yours like he wasn’t even thinking about it.

“you think i didn’t feel the same before i debuted?” he asked, voice hushed. “you think i don’t still feel like that sometimes? like i’m faking it, or like i’m not enough?”

you stared at him.

“you’re more than enough,” he said. “you were the only one who saw me before all this. let me be that for you now.”

and just like that, the tears were back. but you didn’t hide this time.

you leaned into him. he let you. his arms came around you like a shield, like home, like this was always meant to happen.

“this doesn’t mean i’m falling for you or anything,” you mumbled into his chest.

he smiled against your hair. “sure. and i’m not hopelessly in love with you either.” it was a lie.

ONE MONTH LATER

your body ached. your shirt clung to your back. the playlist on the studio speakers had looped for the third time now, but you weren’t done yet. not even close.

you wiped sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand, hair tied up haphazardly like your last brain cell had done it for you. two turns, down, pop—reset. again.

then the studio door opened.

you blinked, already preparing to snap at whoever thought now was a great time to interrupt—only to freeze.

sunghoon.

cap on. mask half-down. that dumb post-debut glow still clinging to him like glitter. he looked like a k-drama lead showing up in your lowest moment with no right to be that good-looking.

you squinted. “are you... lost?”

he didn’t smile.

he stepped in, quiet. closed the door behind him. took a breath.

“go on,” you said, gesturing vaguely at your unfinished choreo. “you came to judge my pirouettes or what?”

he scratched the back of his neck. “actually…”

pause.

“i wanted to ask you something.”

you raised a brow, waiting. arms crossed. heart racing.

“do you...” he hesitated, then stepped closer. “wanna go out with me?”

you blinked.

was he out of his damn mind?

you looked down at yourself. hair in chaos. sweat-drenched shirt. left sock halfway sliding off. “like... right now?”

he laughed softly, but there was a nervous tremble to it. “no. i mean... soon. when you’re free. like, a real date. just us.”

you stared at him. the air felt too quiet.

he looked serious. almost nervous. not like the usual sarcastic, biting sunghoon who annoyed you daily—this was the one who held your hand when no one else was looking. the one who showed up when you were breaking.

you let out a long sigh, walking past him to grab your water bottle. you took a sip. gave him a look.

“sunghoon,” you said flatly, “you realize i’m one month away from possibly debuting through a televised hunger game for trainees, right?”

he gave you a sheepish smile. “yeah.”

“and you’re busy being an idol or whatever.”

“also yeah.”

you raised an eyebrow. “then why now?”

he didn’t flinch. “because I like you.”

…

you stared at him. like, really stared. and god—he was really standing there. asking you out while you looked like a dehydrated noodle. and it should’ve been dumb. it should’ve been ill-timed.

but he meant it. that was the stupid part.

you sighed again, dramatic. wiped your face.

then, you looked up at him with a small smirk.

“fine,” you said, shrugging. “one date.”

his eyes lit up.

“but if it sucks, I’m ghosting you.”

“deal.”

you narrowed your eyes. “and you’re paying.”

“always.”

“and no kissing—unless I say so.”

he grinned. “so you will say so.”

“shut up,” you muttered, tossing your towel at him—and missing.

ONE WEEK LATER

first secret date

you almost laughed when you saw him.

cap pulled down low. hoodie up. mask on. sunglasses too. like he was about to rob the convenience store instead of take you on a date.

he looked left, then right. then spotted you.

and you—well.

you were in simple jeans, a tucked white tee, lowkey makeup, and your hair done just enough to look effortlessly good. no flash. no glam. just enough to look soft and gorgeously dangerous.

sunghoon blinked under his cap. “wow.”

you tilted your head. “wow?”

“i thought we said casual.”

you smirked. “i am casual.”

he blinked again. “casual doesn’t usually knock the air outta someone’s lungs.”

you bit your lip to hide the smile. “then breathe better.”

he laughed under his mask, tugging it down slightly as you both started walking. he had chosen a small side street near the han river, early evening, sun soft in the sky. not too crowded. not too exposed.

it wasn’t fancy. no candlelit tables. no bouquets. just two kids sneaking time together between a debut and a dream.

and somehow, it was perfect.

“are you really allowed out?” you asked, nudging him. “i don’t wanna be the reason you get exiled from your group.”

he scoffed. “i’ve snuck out for worse.”

you squinted. “like what?”

“like ramen.”

you cackled. “you’re risking your career for cup noodles?”

“if they’re spicy enough, yeah.”

you rolled your eyes, but your hand brushed against his as you walked. he noticed. he didn’t say anything—but he didn’t move it away either.

you felt the heat rise to your cheeks.

later, on a park bench near the river

you sat next to him, knees barely touching. the sun had dipped lower now, painting the water gold.

he was quiet.

so were you.

until—

“you know,” he said, “i wasn’t sure this would work.”

you looked at him.

“i’m busy. you’re about to be busier. and all the pressure—fans, survival shows, cameras…” he exhaled. “we’re barely even normal people anymore.”

you nodded slowly, biting your lip. “so… why’d you ask me out then?”

he looked at you.

“because even when I’m not sure about anything else… I’m sure about you.”

you blinked.

okay. rude.

he was not allowed to drop lines like that while you were emotionally vulnerable, sweaty from practice last night, and wearing your second best sneakers.

you tried to play it off, heart punching your ribs. “you’ve been practicing that in the mirror, huh?”

he grinned. “nah. you’re just that inspiring.”

you stared at him, lips twitching.

then, casually, you reached over and hooked your pinky with his.

that was it.

that was all.

he squeezed gently.

after the date — back at the dorms

you got a text. just as you slipped into the trainee dorm’s hallway.

sunghoon: home safe? you: just got in. you? sunghoon: still outside. walking around like a loser who just got his crush to say yes you: you are a loser. but like. a cute one i guess sunghoon: say that again i’ll screenshot it you: goodnight, hoonie sunghoon: night, pretty girl.

you stared at the screen, face flushed.

then threw your pillow at the bed and let out a scream into your blanket.

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

you barely made it through the last eight-count. your legs were jelly, your ponytail was falling apart, and your throat was screaming for water—but more than anything, your brain was fried. you didn’t even notice someone step into the practice room until you heard a low, familiar voice.

“psst. trainee of the year.”

you turned, and there he was.

sunghoon.

with a hoodie pulled up and a mischievous glint in his eye… holding a snack-sized bag of chips and a chocolate bar like they were illegal contraband.

you blinked. “hoon—what are you doing here?!”

he smirked. “looking out for someone who forgot how to rest.”

“i’m on a diet,” you whispered, eyeing the chocolate like it was your long-lost lover.

he stepped closer. “then pretend i didn’t bring snacks. just come with me for five minutes.”

you followed him to the vending machine hallway—dead center between the boys’ and girls’ dorm floors. no cctv. no trainers.

just buzzing machines, flickering fluorescent light, and the sound of your heart thudding louder than it should.

he leaned against the wall, opening the chocolate and breaking off a square.

you stared at it.

“i said i’m on a diet.”

“i said i don’t care.” he offered it again.

you took it. obviously.

a beat of silence passed. then another. you sighed.

“i’ve never dated someone in secret before,” you mumbled, fingers fiddling with the wrapper. “do you think it’ll work out?”

sunghoon didn’t hesitate.

“I’m actually an expert in secrets…” he said, tone suddenly lower, softer.

he leaned in, closing the already-small space between you.

“...especially dating.”

your breath hitched.

he was close—too close—his scent all cozy detergent and warm skin, his lips ghosting a little too close to your cheek.

“i’ll teach you how.”

you were in the middle of laughing—like, full-on cracking up with the other trainees in the dance room. someone made a joke about one of the trainers being secretly in love with their reflection, and you had tears in your eyes.

you didn’t even realize your phone buzzed until you were finally alone, tying your hair up again, everyone else already off to shower or sleep.

sunghoon: u free? sunghoon: dance room. come before i fall asleep on the floor.

you stared. then blinked. then immediately bolted.

the second you opened the door to his group’s practice room, you saw him sitting there on the floor, back against the mirror, head tilted up like he’d been waiting hours.

he looked up.

“hey.”

just that one word and you were melting. it’s been weeks. actual weeks. and yet, there he was—same hoodie, same tired smile, same boy who made you forget how to breathe.

you walked in slowly. “so you miss me, huh?”

he scoffed, but the smile said it all.

“i’m not gonna lie. i might’ve forgotten what you looked like.”

“rude.”

“well, i remember now.” his eyes swept over you.

you rolled your eyes, trying not to combust.

you sat next to him, shoulders barely touching, and it was quiet for a second. not awkward. just… warm.

“you’ve been working hard,” you said quietly.

“you too,” he murmured. “i see it in the practice logs.”

you raised a brow. “you stalk me?”

he smirked. “maybe.”

he stood up a little while later, stretched, then turned to you again.

“come here.”

“why?”

“just—” he waved you over.

you got up, brushing imaginary dust off your sweatpants. “if you prank me, i swear—”

“i’m not. just come.”

he walked backward, tugging you gently by the wrist until you both slipped behind the tall mirror divider that split the practice room—probably put there for storage or stage simulation. barely any light. no one would check there.

you opened your mouth to ask what is this, but he was already leaning in.

and then—

footsteps.

two voices. familiar.

heeseung. jake.

you froze. sunghoon cursed under his breath, then pulled you closer—closer—until your back hit the mirror and his body shielded you completely.

your heart did a full somersault.

“shhh,” he whispered, breath fanning across your ear. “they’re just grabbing their stuff.”

heeseung’s voice echoed faintly. “you think sunghoon left already?”

“probably. dude’s always staying too long.”

you held your breath, heartbeat racing. he was so close. his hands rested on either side of your head, and he kept glancing down at you like he might actually—

once the door shut and the voices faded, silence fell.

you stared at him.

he stared right back.

then he grinned.

“i wasn’t gonna kiss you, you know.”

“…right.”

“…but now i kind of want to.”

you raised a brow. “you sure about that? we haven’t even had a second date.”

“so?” he whispered, leaning in again. “we’re behind a mirror. does it count?”

you were this close to shoving him playfully, but your breath hitched when he tilted his head just enough.

his lips brushed yours.

soft. tentative.

dangerous.

but then you kissed him back.

just once. quick. stupid. electric.

you pulled away with a shaky breath. “you’re so annoying.”

“you like it.”

“i hate it.”

he grinned. “i’ll teach you how.”

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

the call started with you lying flat on your bed, hair down, face fresh from a shower, hoodie oversized and barely clinging to one shoulder.

“you look tired,” you mumbled, frowning into the screen.

sunghoon was on his dorm bed too, hair pushed back with a headband, cheeks still flushed from rehearsal. “you look pretty.”

you blinked. “that’s not the point—”

“but it’s true,” he said, smiling. “also. i am tired. i miss you.”

you flopped your head dramatically against your pillow. “ugh, i miss you too. stupid idol schedules.”

he laughed. then sighed. then just stared at you for a second longer than necessary.

the silence was comfortable. until your phone buzzed.

you glanced at the notification. trainee gc.

someone: you looked cool in practice today someone else: your form’s improved a lot lately and then: wanna hangout sometime? just chill, talk about training n stuff?

sunghoon raised a brow. “who’s that?”

you snorted, a little too amused. “hm? just the group chat.”

“your phone’s lighting up a lot,” he said, too casually.

you tilted your screen to the side, showing the flood of not-so-subtle messages.

sunghoon squinted. “that guy. the one who complimented your jumps last time. he’s the one who sent the hangout thing, right?”

you blinked slowly. “hoon. are you jealous?”

“no,” he lied, immediately, like a liar.

“you so are.”

“i’m not,” he repeated, suddenly invested in adjusting the blanket on his lap.

you smirked. “you’re sulking.”

he didn’t respond.

“hoon~”

“i’m just saying,” he said, voice all pouty now, “he doesn’t even stretch properly before practice. what does he know.”

you wheezed.

“oh my god.”

“i’m just—i’m just watching out for you, okay?” he said, flustered, biting his lip. “i don’t like how they act around you.”

you rolled onto your back, giggling into your sleeve.

“you’re adorable.”

“no, i’m serious,” he grumbled. “i can’t even talk to you in public, but they’re out here throwing compliments like confetti.”

you peeked at the screen again. his lips were pursed. eyes narrowed. sulk level: maximum.

you reached out like you could actually pinch his cheek through the screen.

“you know you’re the only one i want to hear compliments from, right?”

his gaze softened.

“...really?”

“really,” you said, smiling. “but also, you’re kinda hot when you’re jealous. not gonna lie.”

he hid his face in his hoodie.

“stop.”

“never.”

you grinned.

“hoooon,” you whined through the screen, “can’t you just teleport here? like now? please? i’ll pay.”

he snorted. “what with? ramen and protein bars?”

“yes.”

he smiled, soft and lazy, eyes crinkling. “i wish i could.”

“me too.”

your voice had dropped, just a little. tired. yearning. and his fingers twitched like he wished he could reach through the screen and pull you into his chest.

but then—

“hyung! dinner’s ready!”

jungwon’s voice, right outside his door.

sunghoon groaned, rolling onto his side with a quiet, “just five more minutes!”

“are you still on call with y/n?” jungwon asked, then cracked the door open like he already knew the answer.

sunghoon quickly angled the phone to his chest, like a whole dad caught texting his crush in middle school.

but jungwon just leaned in and waved toward the screen. “hi, y/n!”

“oh my god,” you said, hiding your face with a hand, laughing. “hi wonnie.”

then sunoo appeared in the hallway too, leaning over jungwon’s shoulder. “tell her i say hi too!”

“i did already!” jungwon argued.

niki popped in last, chewing on something. “you’re not slick, hyung. we all know you’ve been heart-eyes emoji for like, three months now.”

sunghoon nearly died on the spot.

“get out,” he hissed.

“we’re going,” sunoo grinned. “but don’t kiss through the screen or anything. the wi-fi’s lagging.”

and they vanished.

you wheezed. “your roommates are literally chaos.”

“they’re menaces.”

“but cute menaces.”

“fine,” he mumbled, trying not to smile again. “but i’m the cutest, right?”

“you’re the cutest and the hottest.”

“and you’re the reason my heart’s doing cardio without moving.”

you blinked. “that was so cheesy.”

“i know,” he grinned.

a few nights later – secret car hangout edition

he picked you up in a manager’s car, hoodie low, cap on, mask covering most of his face. when you slid into the front seat, your eyes met and for a second neither of you said anything.

then you both burst into giggles like schoolkids sneaking out past curfew.

“you’re insane,” you whispered, shutting the door.

“you’re prettier in person,” he whispered back.

“you’re biased.”

“i’m in love.”

you froze. blinked. stared at him.

he blinked back, wide-eyed. “i mean—i—i said that out loud, didn’t i.”

you bit your lip, suddenly warm.

“yeah,” you said. “but… same.”

his hand reached for yours between the seats. fingers laced. thumbs brushing.

you two just sat there for a while. soft music playing. headlights passing. the world rushing around you, but in here, time stilled.

“you’re leaving again tomorrow?” you asked.

he nodded, lips pressed into a thin line. “fanmeet. then music show. then filming.”

“you’re everywhere.”

“except here,” he murmured. “with you.”

your heart tugged.

“then make the most of tonight.”

he turned to look at you.

eyes locked.

“yeah?” he whispered.

you nodded.

then you climbed over the center console like it was nothing, and next thing you knew, you were on his lap, hoodie and all, faces close, lips brushing. giggling quietly, almost getting caught when a van drove past and made the headlights flash inside.

you kissed like the world didn’t know.

you laughed like no one could hear.

and when he pulled back, forehead pressed to yours, breath warm, he whispered—

“i’ll teach you how.”

then just like that, you two were back to kissing. he kept a hand on your chin to angle your head in the perfect position. his tongue slipping in your lips, tasting you like he'll never get a chance to again.

and that's when you two made out recklessly in the car, breath heavy, and in love.

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

the survival show started before either of you could even process it.

you were waking up at 5 a.m., rehearsing until midnight, crash-napping in dance studios, living off energy drinks and willpower.

sunghoon was across the world—london, tokyo, la, award shows, en-oclock, fanmeets, and endless nights of soundchecks.

the phone calls slowed.

the messages became one-word replies.

then one-sided.

then nothing.

but not because you stopped caring.

it was just life.

it was debut season.

dreams were happening in real time.

you both were flying so fast that you didn’t even realize you were flying past each other.

months later

you were back. not just in seoul, not just in the same time zone—but here.

and you were debuting.

you made it into the final group.

four girls. you were the visual, the ace, the one people couldn’t stop looking at.

and the moment you saw his name pop up on your schedule—same venue, different floors—you knew.

you had to see him.

so you did.

your steps were slow but steady. nerves in your chest like fireworks waiting to go off.

he looked up when you entered the hallway. paused.

you smiled.

his mouth parted. just a little.

then you ran—fast, too fast—and wrapped your arms around his middle like you were afraid he’d disappear again.

his arms came around you instantly. like muscle memory. like home.

“i made it,” you whispered into his chest, voice trembling.

he didn’t say anything at first. just held you tighter.

then—

“i know,” he said quietly.

you blinked up at him.

and he smiled, eyes a little glassy, cheeks a little pink. “i saw every performance.”

you laughed through your tears. “you did?”

“mhm.” he nodded. “even the boot camp episode. and your level test. and the one where you cried after your vocals cracked—”

“shut up.”

“i cried too.”

“shut up.”

“i saved the fancam.”

you slapped his shoulder, but your grin couldn’t be wiped off.

“and i saw yours,” you whispered, pressing your palm to his chest like you could feel all the places he grew while you were away. “every award. every encore. every fancam. you were so… amazing.”

“you too,” he murmured. “we both made it.”

and for a second, it didn’t matter that the world was watching.

that you had bodyguards and managers and contracts now.

that there were rules and rumors and cameras always watching.

because right here, in this small hallway of a massive building—

it was just the two of you again.

“missed you,” you said.

“teach me how to get over you,” he whispered.

and you shook your head.

“no,” you whispered back. “i’ll teach you how to keep me.”

a/n: posting part 2 tomorrow 5pm kst ! if you want to be tagged, please reblog so you can be added (that would help me much too hh). i already have a reserved taglist, so if you want to register, just click my forms :>> loveyallsosomuchh

chapter 2 is posted !

<to read next chapter tap the underlined>

taglist: @kpoplover-19 @kpoppiesofinternet

[sleepiestoken]

i've just pulled out some interesting quotes from the metal hammer article for myself and anyone else interested. anything bolded for emphasis by me.

-

George Lever [Sleep Token producer 2016-2021]: The starting point was removing this idea of the music you listen to being related to the person making it. By being anonymous, the listener is forced to relate to what they're actually hearing.

-

James Monteith [Tesseract guitarist/publicist at Hold Tight PR]: I was approached by Tom Quigley, who was a scene regular and ran a few blogs at the time. He said he was working with this new band, would we maybe be interested in doing their press? We ended up talking for an hour, and he rolled out the whole concept, the imagery and everything about it... other than the music.

George: The lore/narrative was pretty loose still, but it definitely existed.

James: There was nothing specific as such, more this idea of creating an occult vibe and feeling, led by this prophet-like character who leads a religion.

-

George: A lot of the first EP was actually us trying stuff out. We recorded the drums on a whim at Monnow Valley Studio in Wales. I introduced him to one of my friends, who actually still drums in them now.

-

James: We always got requests [for interviews], but the band said from the start they were anonymous and wouldn't do them. It helped create more curiosity because nobody could get access to them.

Matt Benton [Metal Hammer writer]: You can't do an introductory piece without an interview. We managed to get an agreement for an email interview with Metal Hammer. Even then, the band knew they didn't want a voice.

Matt: It's one of only a few interviews they've ever done. It's something I'm glad exists, because it's like getting the Word Of God.

-

George: I had freedom to offer interpretations of what I was hearing. It was a very fortunate combination of personalities and ideals. There was never any, 'We're going to take over the world' -type chat. It was more, 'Do we like this? Let's do more of that.'

-

Nathan Barley Phillips [co-founder of Basick Records]: Trying to keep some sense of anonymity was a real mission. Particularly getting them to and from the stage [at Great Escape festival 2018] without anyone seeing who they were.

-

George: We did Sundowning in three months - we went from demo to final master being released in just 12 weeks. We didn't have days off; we'd do seven in the morning until seven, eight or even nine at night every day for three months. We were in each other's pockets; we'd go to the gym together, swim, do the sauna... All this stuff to recover from being sat down all the time. There was a lot of time to spend holistically being friends making this record. We didn't know how to make this thing, but we had a confidence that we'd get there in the end. That's my favourite three-month period of my life.

-

George: We started making [TPWBYT] and the first day was when lockdowns began. Tomb... was tough for all of us emotionally. There were lifestyle pressures as a result of the lockdown that made it not very conducive to making art that is supposed to be welcoming. A lot of those songs are, in one way or another, about love, love being lost or remorse, they are compassionate tales that are designed to bring the listener towards the artist. It's hard to do that when it feels like the world is going to end.

-

Matt: I've got friends in merchandising and they say Sleep Token shift more merch than any other UK heavy band - more than even Iron Maiden.

-

Nathan: Bands like Ghost and Sleep Token aren't successful because they wear masks. They're successful because they write great music. Masks don't mean anything if the music isn't any good.

Matt: I'll be interested to see, when the first official TV movie of the band gets made, the difference between the reality of what happened and the story that gets told. In a way, the myth becomes reality.

[thesilmarillionblog]

𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐒

Summary: You play Soldier Boy's wife in the new movie. He's a method actor, and so are you. 

Pairing: Soldier Boy / F! Reader

Warnings: +18! (Minors DNI), SMUT, Soldier Boy is cheating CC, rough sex, oral sex (m! receiving), kinda role playing, kinky, unprotected sex, dirty talk, porn without plot lol, set in late 1970's

Word Count: 3283

A/N: English is not my first language.

"Cut!"

Soldier Boy winked at you, pulled his lips back, and loosened his firm arms over your back as the director ordered. His hand continued to touch you daringly during the romantic scenes, so it must have been fun for him to witness your heart race. After licking your lips, you faced the director, who had been discussing the specifics with the rest of his staff.

With an anxious expression on his face, the director wanted to tell Soldier Boy something, but he was too scared to say anything since Soldier Boy wasn't the most sensible person when it came to providing guidance. Whatever was said to him didn't matter. Never.

The director then collected all of his stuff and gestured for you to join him. After taking the iced coffee, Soldier Boy turned to face the anxiously breathing and sweating director in front of him. 

“Now what?” Sitting in the chair, Soldier Boy stretched out his muscles and asked in a harsh voice.

Soldier Boy became irate every time he was given instructions to act with greater enthusiasm and better, suggesting that the director, Mr. Nathan, must be dying of dread and worry. 

“It's a romantic film,” Mr. Nathan remarked, appearing to become agitated as he brought up his hands on his hips. “And the subject at hand is war. It's meant to be intimate and heartfelt.”

“And?”

“You shouldn't behave as though you're going to have sex like you're in an adult film. I hope you don't take offense, sir. You're an excellent actor. However, would you mind being a bit more romantic? It would be quite beneficial.”

Snorting, Soldier Boy said, “Fuck that. A sentimental war film, huh? Jesus... I have no doubt that young soldiers would find greater use for pornographic films if we produced some. Believe me, If I fuck her and then leave her to join war, that would make women and men all cry their eyes out. Are we really making this trash movie for housewives only? Who approved this fucking script anyway?”

“Sure and no, sir—no, definitely not. I'm among those who approved, of course, and I can tell you that the script is excellent. Act a little more genuine. This is a movie that everyone should see. If you'd prefer, we could change the actress. If it would help you to be partners with Crimson Countess, maybe we can arrange that.”

The director looked at you, and you crossed your arms over your chest. Stupid coward. That would be the beginning of your best work, but his terrified ass was prepared to destroy your career before it had ever begun. 

“Oh fuck no!” Soldier Boy gulped down his cold coffee. “Not her dry pussy coming over here. My co-star is talented and fine enough.”

You were going to defend yourself in front of the director, but luckily Soldier Boy was kind enough to stand up for you, which made things much better. You were giving him every indication that, in the end, you would do anything to get this job. You would never have taken part in a greater movie before, and Soldier Boy would be the ideal match for it. That was the top of your career already. He was attractive and interesting, but it was difficult to resist and melt into him at the moments when he was meant to give you a gentle kiss. Clearly, that wasn't his thing—being gentle and loving.

It wasn't your thing either.

Mr. Nathan sighed and answered, “Sure,” becoming tired of Soldier Boy not caring at all about what he was trying to say. “We're all going to have some break, and then we can go on filming, is that alright?”

“All right. Whatever,” Soldier Boy said. His specialty was not romantic war films, obviously. He sounded so corny in situations that you could be positive he detested every single love phrase he ever delivered. But none of you had the guts to tell him that out loud. 

If he wasn't concerned about his acting in the first place, that didn't matter to you. There were times when you found it amusing that he was exaggerating in order to enrage the director. It was difficult for you to not break your character in these situations. The kissing scenes, however, were exceptional. You would have let him fuck you if he had made the move right then. He was only getting you wet with his tongue. 

As soon as Mr. Nathan left, Soldier Boy stood up and stepped toward you, looking intently at you. Your entire body tingled with anticipation. Desire was already causing your legs to tremble. 

With a low tone, he said, “Follow me,” and handed his empty cup to someone. 

With joy, you followed instructions. You had already been thinking filthy stuff since the morning. Your pussy was swollen, and your underwear was already wet since he had been teasing you so much. 

He locked the door when you followed him to his trailer.

He approached your body and looked at your long skirt before saying, “So,” and licked his lips. “What are you thinking about that guy who said that? About acting and anything else?”

As his thumb lingered on your breast, stroking it to make you go wild, you put your hands over his chest, excited about what was about to happen. Your thighs tensed with yearning. 

Whispering, "He might be right," you ran a hand down his chest and felt his hardness through his trousers. 

He smiled a bit at you when he realized you were ready for a quick fuck. You continued to softly touch him there, and his cock hardened. 

With a sigh, “About?” he began to undo your dress so he could see your tits. 

“About your acting,” you muttered as his harsh hand continued to torment you. “You should act more romantically and intimately.” 

“Hmm,” was all he said. 

He palmed both of your tits after he had finished unbuttoning your dress. 

“I consider myself to be a method actor,” he said, grinning arrogantly at you. 

You smirked and said, “What a coincidence; me too,” as you unzipped his pants. You lowered his pants and waited for him to give you guidance. “But what would your girlfriend, Crimson Countess, think about that?”

“I don't see an issue if you seal your pretty mouth. I also don't want to fuck her dry cunt forever. Now, get on your knees,” he said rudely, then, putting his hand behind your head, he pushed you on your knees.

Your pulse was pounding as you followed instructions. It wasn't that you were inexperienced, but it also wasn't that you were doing it for the first time. It had only lasted a minute or two until you had completed it in the past. It hadn't pleased you. You had immediately stopped. 

You were ecstatic to see Soldier Boy's massive, pulsating cock, though. You wrapped your hands around his thick shaft, and you licked your dry lips, sensing its weight in your palm. It was exciting and tantalizing to consider sucking the strongest superhero on the planet. 

You murmured, looking at his face and lightly brushing the tip with your lips, “What do you want me to do?” It was apparent that he was beginning to take pleasure in and enjoy what he was seeing. “Sir.”

He grinned at you and tightened his grasp behind your hair when he heard the final word, letting you know how weak you are in comparison to him. After all, you were both method actors, and the game you were playing was harmless. He was definitely thrilled.

He continued, taking his big cock in his hand and pressing it against your lips. “You're a naughty one, aren't you? About to be railed and excited to suck your co-star's cock. Not because you want to get the job, but simply to be fucked.”

“Maybe,” you said, licking the tip with your tongue. It didn't taste horrible, but it was salty. “Maybe I just want to get fucked by a supe; maybe it's because I want to keep my job.”

He finally lost patience with you and shoved his cock inside your mouth when you continued to tease him. You obeyed and took his cock in your mouth. You could take the head since his shaft was far too big for you, yet it was clear that he wanted more.

“Or perhaps I agree with the director's wish for my co-star to act more intimate in his part.” You teased him and palmed his heavy balls, adding, “Would you act more romantic just like you are expected if I was there, standing while your cum inside me?” You were certain that he would come early enough.

“You shouldn't worry about it. My cum will be flowing between your legs as you wander around,” he groaned. “But you'll suck that cock nice firstly.”

He pushed his cock into your mouth again before you could respond. You started to lick it by slowly getting used to the size of it before figuring out the right rhythm.

“Take it more,” he moaned, pressing your head on his cock. You were too aroused to resist, yet it was difficult to withstand his strength.

You attempted to take more of his throbbing cock by opening your mouth wider and placing your hands on his knees for assistance, but it was too huge.

“Fucking take it,” he snapped, annoyed by your poor attempt. Taking complete control, he then reached behind your hair with his other hand and stilled your head.

He made you choke around him by forcing half of his cock into your mouth with such power that you gagged uncontrollably. But you were determined to push yourself to the very limit. Under the mercy of the most powerful supe made you feel things. You had no idea that you needed such treatment in order to suck a cock properly. You became more and more wet as he applied more pressure, made you choke, and filled your mouth with his cock. 

When you finally had enough of him, he withdrew so he could grab your mouth and start to fuck your face.

"You like that, don't you?" He moved your head to his cock because he enjoyed it. "You like being used like this? You like being controlled, huh? Yes, fuck. Take it!"

His cock, which was covered in your saliva, began to pulse in your mouth as he continued to fuck it. You clenched up, knowing what was about to happen. Your fingers gripped his legs more tightly as you tried to keep up with his power. 

He asked, “You want it in your mouth?” However, it was obvious that it wasn't a question. Both of you and him were lost in pleasure. 

Soldier Boy pulled back his cock and rubbed it on your reddening lips and waited for your response. 

“Yes, please,” you moaned. “I need you finish in my mouth.”

He groaned, “Anything for my co-star,” and pushed his shaft back into your mouth as hard as he could. It was hot inside your throat. 

You shivered in delight and disbelief as he started to flow in your throat, releasing his hot sperm. You moved a bit to relax, but he gave a loud grunt and stilled your head. 

He moaned, “Fucking swallow,” as he continued to thrust his cock farther. You were so out of breath that tears were streaming down your face. He was cursing as he filled your mouth with his thick cum.

When he makes you taste him, you close your eyes and let him release his hot semen into your mouth fully. Though you weren't sure whether you liked the taste at all due to how strong and salty it was, you really enjoyed the whole process. You felt slick there; the way he was controlling your body was beyond perfect. 

He withdrew his cock back once he had finished fucking your mouth. 

Grasping your chin firmly, he said, “Let me see it.” 

Your mouth opened. Excited, you could feel your legs quivering and hoping he wasn't done with you just yet. Even though you weren't sure whether you had enough time to go all the way, you needed to be touched so desperately. 

He said, “Good girl,” seeing that you swallowed all. “Get up now.” 

Without allowing you to react, he made you stand once more. It was absurd how he was still hard destipe spilling inside your mouth seconds ago. You wondered how frequently he would need to come in order to soften. It may have been because he was a supe. The cause didn't matter to you. Thank goodness he had the energy to continue. After all, you had your own needs. 

“I hope we are not finished yet,” you stated, indicating your intentions with another stroke of his now firm cock. 

“You want to be fucked badly, don't you?” Your long skirt was pulled up by the tough hands of Soldier Boy, who gave you a sly smile. “You enjoy getting fucked by engaged men?”

When his erect cock brushed your thighs and you felt out of breath, you taunted him, “Only the supes.”

He chuckled and had a brief look at your underwear. You were relieved he hadn't ripped them off. He removed your tits from your white bra and pushed your unbuttoned shirt down. You arched back properly when he gave your nipples a little play.

“Let's check to see whether you're wet enough to handle it all now. Tell me you're not a virgin.” He gave a warning but added, “I'm going to fuck you raw anyway.”

“I'm not,” you moaned, impatient for him to get inside. This time, you were unable to stop pleading. “Could you please fuck me already?”

The way you begged him made Soldier Boy smirk. “Since you're begging so nicely...”

He grabbed your hair into his palm, then gave his cock five or six firm strokes to make himself completely erect. He then bent your body into the trailer's wall and positioned himself behind your entrance. 

When you actually noticed how much bigger he was than your hole, you gasped. Not that you didn't get fucked, but it had really been a while. 

“Relax a little for fucks sake. Take it properly, or it's going to hurt. I won't give a fuck,” he warned, pressing himself farther inside of you.

You tensed up. He was pulling your hair a little and knowing that if he utilized his strength a little more, he could break your neck. That should have alarmed you, but instead it enhanced your excitement. Being at a supe's mercy as he fucked you was more exciting than any other sex you had ever had because you never knew if he might lose control while trying to get his pleasure. 

He made you scream with pleasure and pain as he pushed his entire cock inside of you, pushing back with one strong motion. You began to moan and tried to fix your balance, but he instantly stilled your body by pulling your hair.

He moaned in rage, “Don't fucking move,” and proceeded to fuck you senselessly. Your eyes watered with every move he made, and your insides ached a bit. Both the pleasure and the pain that you experienced were immense.

“That's how you should get fucked. Like a slut you are. You are a slut, aren't you? You wanted me to fuck you there?” He groaned while continuing to penetrate you from the back. Your hair was tugged again by his hand. He needed a response. 

“Yeah,” you moaned, placing a hand against his severe grip on your hip. “I needed you to fuck me right there.”

He was obviously pleased with your response since you could almost hear him smirking. 

“Oh, yeah. Are you not embarrassed to want to have sex with an engaged man? Allow him to use your body any way he chooses. Show him that you are better than his future wife. You like the idea of a supe cheating on his girlfriend with you?” His filthy words caused your walls to contract as he gave you a strong and quick fuck. You were embarrassingly wet. 

You teased him, “So what?” in between moans. “In the film we're in, we're husband and wife, right? We need to get into the role properly.”

“Do you think you can wear my sperm right there and yet perform your role properly? What would they say if they knew? Will you tell them you wanted me to fuck you so that you could do your role more effectively? Do you want everyone to know your cunt is full of my cum? Is that it?” 

You knew that the game you were playing was making him more thrilled, so when he bent your body harder, you let out an excited gasp. He widened your legs and placed both of his hands on each side of your hips. Without his support, you would have already fallen. 

You screamed out, “Yes, please, please,” as your walls continued to clench around his thick cock. “Husband.” 

“Oh fuck,” he groaned as he got closer. He firmly gripped your bouncing tits and gave them a firm squeeze. “I'm going to fill you so good. Going to satisfy my wife's small greedy cunt nicely. Do you really want that, baby?         Where do you want me to cum?”

Moaning, “Yeah, oh fuck, fuck. Please come inside, husband.” Your orgasm hit so hard you had to scream his name this time. You were sure some of the staff heard your screaming. Your walls clenched badly. You got his dick wet with your slick as your legs were trembling frantically. You felt like you were about to pass out from the intense fucking you were getting from him during your peak.

He moaned, “Whatever my wife wishes,” as he continued to penetrate you despite your oversensitivity. He then began to come inside of you with a loud grunt. Before he came, he held your hips so forcefully that you felt he was going to break your body till he was satisfied. 

He cautiously removed his cock after giving you a bit more pleasure and making sure he had emptied his balls within your pussy. He gave you a hard spank on the ass and complimented you on your well-done move, seeing how his sperm was flowing between your legs. 

You grinned to yourself and pulled up your underwear when you knew you were fucked well for real. You could let him fuck you again since his hot sperm in you felt so nice. 

As he was complimenting you, you could hear him stuffing his dick back into his pants. “Now that was a good fuck.”

You looked at him and fixed your shirt, skirt, and hair. “I'm glad you enjoyed,” you said, biting your lips. You could still taste him.

“I'm sure I'm not the only one who enjoyed it,” he said, immediately lighting a cigarette and giving you a sly smirk. 

You were told to expect on the set in five minutes when someone knocked on the door right then. You smiled to yourself, undisturbed by the stares from the staff, and spent the remainder of the day with Soldier Boy. You both believed that the method of acting had had the intended impact on you and him. The director was pleased with the two of you. After the break, Soldier Boy was acting better, at least. If only they knew the reason.

It's true that method acting helped you get into your roles better. Particularly behind the scenes.

⋆⋅☆⋆☆⋅⋆───⛥───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───⛥───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Comments and reblogs are very appreciated. Let me know what you think please. For more, here's my MASTERLIST. ♥︎

[cuteandhughesy]

I was wondering if you could do prompts 23 and 26 for Nathan Mackinnon? Or maybe just 23 off your 1000 celly list. Thank you. 💖

Ben & Jerrys | Nathan Mackinnon

summary: you’re craving ice cream and you’re making it your husbands problem. prompt no. 23: "i'm carrying your giant baby, the least you could do is get me some ice cream." + prompt no. 26: "I can't tell if I hate you or love you right now"

[word count] 1.0k

warnings: pregnancy + pregnancy hormones

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

you consider yourself pretty lucky with your pregnancy when it comes to cravings. you've heard stories from your friends about their absurd food and drink cravings they experienced while they were pregnant. things like peanut butter slathered pickles, baby food, ketchup and bologna sandwiches—one of your friends even couldn’t stop sniffing gasoline.

but you? all you want it's ice cream. any flavour of ben & jerrys ice cream was all you craved. morning and night, after every meal, and anywhere you went, you were ready for the sweet, milky treat. you honestly blame it on your health nut of a husband— he never buys ice cream because it's 'not good for you'— fucking whatever.

but when you got pregnant and started to having cravings, nathan made sure the freezer was always stocked with at least 10 individual tubs of ben & jerrys ice cream. he was really considerate about it too—giving you a variety of different flavours so it didn't matter if you wanted something fruity, chocolatey, or simply french vanilla because it was at your disposal. 

so yeah, you were really lucky when it came to cravings. ice cream is delicious and it will always be delicious. it's an easy craving to manage, and you don't get weird looks when you're out and about because you gnawing on a piece of raw coconut—you only get looks from nathan when you're sucking down your ice cream cone faster than anything he's ever seen.

but it's times like this, lying restlessly under the covers, leg half hung over your pregnancy pillow while the baby kicks at your ribs and rolls around in your uterus—begging for some damn ice cream. it's almost 4 in the morning, your alarm clock making sure you're well aware of the awkward time. it’s taunting you.

you're so warm and cosy in bed—and tired—you really don't want to go downstairs for a tub of ice cream right now, despite how badly you want to flavours to bless your tastebuds. plus you don't want to wake the dog up, who will inevitably beg to go to the bathroom…and then you have to wait 30 minutes while he tries to find a spot to pee.

you blink in surprise when nathan groans beside you, flipping onto his side, facing your direction. he's squinting tiredly, and you instantly know that your tossing woke him up. "what's wrong?" he questions lowly before you can apologize, his voice all gravelly and hot with sleep.

your core flutters pathetically at the sound of his deep voice—you're also insanely horny with this pregnancy, but that’s neither here nor there. you make a small noise that comes out like a whine, rolling off your back, baby protesting the entire flip over, and face your husband.

"I want ice cream," you mumble.

nathan sighs, "then go have some honey."

you whine again, louder this time like he's just asked you to go for a run instead of going downstairs—with his pregnant you are though, it’s practically the same thing. "I don't want to get out of bed," you tell him honestly, foot sliding under the covers and pushing between his calfs. "can you go get a tub for me?" you ask after a beat, eyes wide with hope.

"babe," nathan starts in disbelief, rubbing the sleep out of his right eye with the palm of his hand before continuing, "you can go get it. don't be silly."

your face falls, a white hot stick of anger poking at you. "i'm carrying your giant baby, the least you could do is get me some ice cream," you snap all to harshly, pushing up onto your elbow as you glare down at your husband. nathan's eyes widen in a mixture of humor and shock, looking at your angry contorted face. you sigh, "i'm sorry for yelling. can you please go get me a tub of half baked from the freezer? i'll love you forever."

"you're supposed to love me forever regardless," he grumbles lowly, already swinging his legs over the side of the bed, which gives you a nice view of his toned back.

you smile happily, falling back down to the pillows as nathan gets out of your shared bed. "thank you." you sing song, which only earns you a tired hum for a response as nathan steps out into the hall, door clicking closed quietly behind him.

it's only 5 minutes later when nathan is returning to the bedroom with your carton of ice cream. he already took the lid off and stuck your spoon in the middle—he even slipped the carton in a little cover so your hands wouldn't get cold while you’re enjoying it. you love him so much.

you gasp, sitting up in the bed and leaning back against the soft headboard. nathan passes off the ice cream to you, kissing the side of your head absentmindedly as you thank him again.

you scoop a pile onto the gold spoon and waste no time pushing it past your lips—the gooey brownie melting on your tongue with the chocolate and vanilla cream as you suck it off the spoon. you moan, "I can't tell if I love you or hate you right now."

the mattress dips as nathan slides back into bed, "why would you hate me?" he mumbles half heartedly, scooting right up beside you and your ginormous belly.

you spoon another mouthful, deliberately avoiding the biggest piece of cookie dough for your next bite,  "because it's your baby keeping me up," you say through the mouthful of melting ice cream.

he laughs quietly, palm resting flat over the largest point of your belly. "our baby," he corrects.

"same thing."

"well," nathan starts, leaning in and peppering your cheek with two lingering kisses while his hand rubs along your stretched skin rhythmically, "I certainly love you," he says against your sleep warm cheek.

you moan dismissively, carving out a chunk of cookie dough with the edge of your spoon.

"say it back."

"no," you breathe.

"y/n."

you crack, cold lips turning up in a lopsided smile while your spoon drags across the surface of your delicious ice cream. your wide eyes flicker towards your husband, "kidding," you chime, "love you."

nathan snorts, "that's what I thought."

[allforthegaymes]

Andrew sat in the fbi interrogation alongside Neil, stuck between trying to decide wether to keep his wary eyes on the agents sat across from them or to keep his eyes locked on Neil, as if he’ll disappear again if he loses sight of him at any point.

Instead he keeps a finger hooked around one of Neils belt loops and sets himself to memorizing every word out of Neils mouth, keeping a watch on the agents to make sure they dont make a sudden attempt to go back on their words.

Which means he gets the first hand sight of how other people would react to hearing about what Neil’s gone through. And while he’d accepted every word from Neils mouth without a facial reaction, watching how the agents react make him think maybe he shouldve.

(The whispered thanks from Neil afterwards about Andrew not looking at him differently changes his mind)

The only part that really makes him freeze is when Neil begins the talk of his mothers death. Andrews all too familiar with dead mothers in cars, but hearing about the gun wound, the vinyl seats sticking to a half burnt away body, the bone burial along the beach. Neil stutters only once during his recounts, where he slips and mentions the smell.

He compares it to the scent of cigarettes, used Andrew’s one marlboro reds as a reference and suddenly all those rooftop rendezvous together makes more sense.

Neils half smoked cigarettes, never stubbed out but left to continue burning on the concrete next to them while they sit and talk. The way he only does stub them out when talking about his parents, or when Andrew mentions something about his own mom, or when Andrew says anything about the earlier days with Aaron.

Neil stops talking for a moment after that. Lost in thought.

And as always, Andrew follows him half a step behind.

Neils adamant claims during their zombie apocalypse walks with Renee around the track that he would always burn their friends bodies to make sure they dont come back from the dead.

The way he always leaves the room when they watch the newest episode of that stupid viking show that Aaron and Kevin like to watch and theres a burning boat funeral.

The way he-

And then Neil starts talking to the fbi agents again and Andrew is forced to tune back in and tuck away those thoughts till later.

He tells them about what happened in Baltimore.

The torture from Lola. The dashboard lighter pressing seared wounds into his skin. Over the tattoo, scattered across his arms, the faint marks from where she tried to burn holes through his jeans to get to his thighs. Saved only half as well as they were by the fact he’d worn a pair of the carhartt work pants Andrew had bought for him and not a pair of the threadbare thrift store jeans he usually wore.

Andrew makes the mental note to stop using his own dashboard lighter to light the cigarettes he smokes in the car. And to swap cigarette brands. And to stop smoking in the car.

And then its about the trunk of the car, the way Lola had held onto him and the comments she made in the car, the basement, the offhanded mention about how Nathan was barefoot when he walked down the stairs.

The little details that only someone who’s truly grasping for any recollection in a traumatic moment would retain. The way even when Nathan was walking down to tear Neil limb from limb, Neil still couldnt bring himself to look at his fathers face. The face that Neil shares. The face Neil still avoids looking at when he walks past the mirror in the hall in Columbia.

And he thinks about the way Neil shied away from Wymack in the beginning, the way he now searches for Wymacks face whenever they get separated from their coach at away games.

The gun shots during the Hatford raid, the way even though Neil was bruised and battered he still found himself with a smile on his face when he saw Lola’s body get blasted apart by silenced guns.

The way he knew even if they got a proper funeral no one down there would get to have an open casket. The evidence in their bullet shattered bones that their bodies would never rest peacefully. That people in a thousand years would know from the unmarked graves and their remains that they deserved whatever ended them.

And then he claims it goes dark, he says it with the same way Neil lies about everything else, with his body forced relaxed to not twitch and give himself away, but he breathes a little heavier when he calmly tries to describe the way he came to and found himself being helped by the emergency services, feigning he doesnt know what theyre actually called, playing into the runaway kid sent on the road too young and not knowing completely how the world works still.

Andrew wishes he didnt know Neil well enough to know its only half real. Wishes he didnt know Mary probably only taught Neil how to recognize and run from EMT’s, and never actually explained what EMT was meant to stand for.

Andrew knows first hand how hard it is to gain sympathy from government officials, but Neil’s got them eating out of his hand with the way he words his story, their final nail in the coffin to take down the Wesninski trails in Baltimore and beyond.

Neil knows they need him and he knows how to play them to believe whatever story he deems they’re worthwhile to hear.

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Under the Stars ❤️

Angst with a happy ending, mdni. 18+. Fwb but both parties are smitten and don't know it...❤️

❤️

Eddie can't help but smile as you giggle and attempt to move out of his embrace.

"Come on princess, stay" he kisses down your neck and disappears under the covers to press kisses over your stomach. "Stop" you shriek with laughter as his stubble tickles your skin.

He can't stop smiling as he settles beside you. "Come on sweetheart, stay" he pouts and you give in because you always find that look endearing.

"Okay, for a little while, then I have to go" you try to be stern but Eddie pulls an exaggerated sad face that sets off your giggles again.

"Can I see you tonight?" he asks hopefully and your smile dims. You look away from him and there's a distance to you that wasn't there before.

"I don't know. Aren't you seeing Stacey tonight?" he blinks at the sudden tenseness in your tone and swallows.

Ever since the two of you got together you both said this would be casual, you could both date other people and that was fine...at first.

The truth was he liked spending time with you, you were funny and sweet and the sex was incredible. He has been on a few dates with Stacey and a girl called Jenna before that and he thought they were nice and sweet but there wasn't this urgent need to see the two of them constantly.

He's trying not to look too closely at what that means, until you tell him something that makes his heart sink. "Um Pierre asked me out on a date, I said yes... I mean, you have Stacey and there was Jenna before that so I thought maybe I should get out there and date"

Eddie nods. He's been dreading this since your last date with Nathan; that guy was a total douchebag and now there was Pierre.

It's not like he could say anything. This is what you both wanted right? No attachments? Causally dating. Jesus H Christ he wanted to say something.

"Uh yeah, that's good, maybe I might meet up with Stacey then" he mumbles and you kiss his cheek, then move to his lips. The kiss lingers for a few seconds then you pull away, there's an almost sad and wistful expression in your eyes.

"I should go. I need to write this report for work and get ready for later" he nods and pulls you in for another kiss, it leaves both of you a little breathless and Eddie longing for more.

He watches you leave and sinks back onto his bed groaning. Fuck. He really should have said something.

❤️

Trying to pretend that this isn't eating him up inside he calls Stacey and they agree to meet up for a date. It would have been nice if it took his mind if you but it didn't, all he could think about was you hitting it off with Pierre and tossing him to the side.

The thought hurts like a bitch.

Stacey seems to realise that he's distracted and bluntly asks him what his problem is. "You're distracted all the time right now and honestly I'm fed up with it? I understand you're totally smitten with this other girl so maybe you should just..." She pauses at Eddie's stunned look.

"What?" he yelps and Stacey frowns.

"Am I wrong? you pine after her when she's not around and it should bother me but it doesn't because I don't think this is working out anyway so it's best we just go out separate ways anyway" Eddie is still stuck for something to say.

"We aren't... I'm not smitten with her...we're just, it's just casual and she's on a date tonight anyway" he says all of this but it feels wrong and Stacey seems to think so too. It doesn't help that thinking of you on this date is getting to him as well.

"Seriously Munson? Do you maybe think that she might have felt the same way but didn't think you did? That's why she's on this date instead of with you?" She shakes her head and gives him a potting glance.

"Good luck Eddie. You definitely need it" Stacey leaves at that point and he's left alone with a million thoughts running through his head and the truth hitting him all at once.

The truth is he really has fallen for you hard and he doesn't want to date anyone else. Just you. Yet he didn't realise it until now and it could be too late.

Fuck. Without another thought he leaves money on the table for the bill and races out of the restaurant, he's convinced he's possibly too late and you may have actually given up on him. Maybe you might hit it off with Pierre and be incredibly happy with him.

Even if the thought kills him inside he wants you to be happy but he's not losing you without putting up a fight.

Your apartment isn't far from the restaurant or his place, he's hoping you may be back from your date but dreading finding out how it went at the same time.

There's a halfway point between his apartment and your apartment that you and Eddie would meet up at sometimes, it's a beautiful park that you were in love with, you fed the ducks in the pond every Saturday and Eddie liked to join you.

In fact that's where the two of you first met. He wonders if that's how you met Pierre as well or if it was at work.

The thought of anyone else kissing you and making you giggle, making you come apart with pleasure and waking up beside you, tears new pieces of his heart away.

He really was a goddamn idiot.

❤️

When he gets to your apartment he knocks a couple times but realises that no one is home. The sinking feeling in his chest weighs heavily on him.

You must still be out with Pierre. He swallows down the disappointment that he feels and heads back outside.

He's just making his way past the entrance to the park when he decides to go in and have a few moments to himself.

While he's sitting in the bench he catches a glimpse of a very familiar umbrella and his heart leaps in his chest. You're walking towards him with a shy smile on your face.

"Hi" he feels almost shy seeing you and you return his grin.

"Hi, How was your date?" You ask softly and settle on the bench beside him. He realises this is his chance to tell you how he feels.

"Stacey and I aren't seeing each other anymore sweetheart" your eyes widen and you move towards him and rub his arm in a soothing manner.

"Oh, I'm sorry Eddie" he shakes his head and reaches out to caress your cheek, delights in the way that your eyes light up at his touch.

"I'm not. It should have ended a while ago...so how was Pierre?" He's dreading finding out but he has to know.

"Pierre is really nice but um... I'm not seeing him again" his fingers interlace with yours and he squeezes your hand.

"Good fucking riddance. You're mine, I adore you and I'm so sorry that it took me so long to realise" he blushes just a smidgen and adds on. "I really hope you feel the same way princess"

Your expression gives nothing away until he sees a tear roll down your cheek. "Do you know where I was just coming from Eddie?" He shakes his head and you answer him, "I was just coming back from your apartment but when you didn't answer the door I thought you were still with Stacey and I hated that thought" you confess.

Hearing this he moves closer to you "What a coincidence because I was just coming back from yours" you're smiling by this point and he wastes no time in kissing you.

"I don't want to be with anyone else, I don't want you to be with anyone else. So let's just be together and stop with all of this other shit yeah?" You're nodding vigorously and you kiss him again under the stars, on the bench and underneath the trees where the two of you first met.

❤️✨

[lovedivers]

Live fast, die young, bad boys do it well.

💌 ⤻ CLARKE MEADOWS, THE HOCKEY PLAYER

—> he's loved the ice since he was a kid, but maybe he can love you too.

⤻ reader is female, yandere behaviour, possessive behaviour, thoughts of killing, small gore, obsessive behaviour, suggestive themes, mentions of alcohol, set in a university (all 18+), identity crisis moment lolol, [h/n] is hobby name

The first time he met you was at a party. He couldn't exactly remember what you were doing, you were one of those people that were irrelevant to him. Whether you were dancing with your friends and screaming to the music of the party or slumped in a corner, restless and alone, he didn't know. All he knew was that some people talked about you and he registered your name into one of those in his mind.

He was an asshole like that, he supposed. Or maybe he didn't care. He didn't care because his only care in the world, should be Hockey.

His Father was a hockey player and he wanted to live up to that expectation. He wanted to surpass him in both fame and skill and that was his whole identity. His identity was tied to this sport.

His friends? People from his hockey team.

His girlfriends? Didn't really have any, but his requirement for being his girlfriend was that she needed to always come to watch his games.

Even his popularity was all intrinsically tied to his sport. Everyone knew him as the guy who became Captain of the Hockey team in just one year of joining.

The guy who everyone knew would be in the big leagues, up there with Nathan MacKinnon and Seth Jones.

He was so close to being signed on with a team.

Everything was about hockey, before everything became about you.

✧ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ✧

Sure, Clarke Meadows knew about you. But he didn't know about you.

Not until that day you stumbled on him inside one of the rooms of the frat house he was in. You had simply wanted to take a piss somewhere and since the toilets not connected to the bedrooms were all taken, probably from pent-up teenagers and people who were vomiting from all the alcohol and decided to take your luck and pray no one was inside blowing each other's backs out.

Even if they were, you honestly could overlook it for the sake of being able to finally relieve yourself.

That's when you stumbled upon his sad self.

He sprawled onto the bed, a spilled bottle of beer falling from his hands with a soft clink before rolling to the other bottles of miscellaneous alcohol strewn all over the floor. Your first instinct was to be worried because with the amount this dude was drinking, he could be suffering from food poisoning.

You made your way towards him and sat on the bed. "Hey, hey!" You called out, trying to wake him up by shaking him, worried that he had passed out or even worst, died.

He groaned and swatted your hands away like a baby being disturbed. "What the hell do you want?" He growled out, surprisingly hostile when he had always been somewhat polite to everyone around him. Just as he didn't know you, you didn't know him.

"Are you okay?" You asked, irregardless of his tone.

"Fuck... yes, I'm fine!" He snapped at you, covering his face as you noticed something sparkling in the dim lighting of the room. Tears? "Just quit being so loud." He told you. He must have drunk a lot for your whispers to be considered loud in his ears.

"No one drinks that much or starts crying when they're drunk because they're fine." You retorted as you watched him wipe away the tears on his face before sitting up. His drunk eyes focused on you, on your blurry figure and body. But your face seemed to be the clearest of them all. Your eyes, your lips, your eyebrows and cheekbones, everything shone as bright as the sun.

"You wouldn't get it." He said.

"Try me." You didn't know why you said that.

And perhaps out of drunken vulnerability, he replied, even when he didn't know why he did it. "Just... what am I supposed to do with my life?" He murmured.

You raised an eyebrow at his words. Wasn't he like some popular hockey dude? "Your hockey, I guess? I heard you like it." You said, completely forgetting about your need to pee.

"No, I don't- I don't know what I want. Besides my hockey, what else do I have?" He asked and your eyes widened at his words. What else did you know about Clarke Meadows beside his hockey skills? You tried to think. He liked hockey... he was popular and... yeah, you couldn't think, especially with all that alcohol stocked up in your mind.

"You have free will, you know." You reminded him.

"But then, my hockey." He slurred, like a baby.

"Is anyone holding you at gunpoint to only play hockey?" You asked.

"N-no." He murmured, as if his eyes have been opened.

"Then try new things, see where it takes you." You said as you dusted your skirt off and sighed. "No one can force you to do things you don't want to do."

"But I do like hockey." Oh my God, you wanted to just smack him over the head right now, he was acting like such a baby. "I love it. It's my whole life." You almost felt jealous of the sport. No one had ever said 'I love you' in such a way to you before.

"You can love different hobbies. We aren't like robots tuned into one thing. I like [h/n], but I also like [h/n]." You informed him. His dark blue eyes pierced into your [e/c] ones and you paused just to admire him. Gods, was he pretty. He was such a pretty boy it almost made you feel jealous that his face wasn't yours. "An- anyway," you felt embarrassed for imparting advice when you weren't even that smart, "just think about it. I'm not forcing you to try new stuff either. Ultimately, it's your choice." You flustered and eventually went to the bathroom after remembering your urges.

When you came out, he was already gone.

✧ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ✧

For the next few days, you felt eyes on you. Dark blues one, but you didn't know that. You stopped going home alone every night after your later classes and you started carrying pepper spray with you as an extra precaution. Yet, every time you turned around, you couldn't see anyone following you.

You even felt it when you were resting in the university's courtyard.

Of course, as the readers of this fic knows, it was Clarke Meadows.

Sure, your words were cheesy and kind of cringe but you made him feel seen, outside of his talents. Maybe it was by accident, but in the world, there were no accidents, just fate. And he decided that it was fate to have met you and be comforted by you. You didn't need to do this but you did anyway, and he had grown completely smitten for you.

He collected a pen that fell from your bag, he bought perfumes, shampoos, body wash, conditioners that smelled like you just so he could wash himself with them and convince himself the scent was from his dreams of cuddling next to you. He collected the trash that you threw, putting them in a ziplog bag like a complete freak and dumpster diver. He followed you home to ensure no unsavoury people were stalking you... which was ironic. He even kept watch for you whenever he could during your lunch times.

When you talked to another person, he thought of all the different ways he could slam his hockey stick into their head or shins. He imagined how it would be like to be bloody and have you wipe away the red. He wanted to kiss you while he enveloped you in the blood of his rivals.

But for now, he'd be a silent protector, by your side.

"Don't worry, my saviour, I'll keep you safe."

[fromdove]

BRUCE WAYNE ,, as a girl dad

The soft click of the front door echoed through the grand Wayne Manor, followed by the unmistakable sound of laughter. Bruce didn’t look up from his paperwork immediately, but the faint tension in his shoulders told the story—he could already feel the change in the atmosphere. It wasn’t just the sound of footsteps; it was something else, something he hadn’t quite prepared for.

"Dad," came the familiar voice of his daughter, still sweet but tinged with the note of teenage uncertainty. "I need you to meet someone."

Bruce exhaled sharply, setting down his pen, straightening up in his chair. The calm, controlled demeanor he’d perfected over the years wasn’t quite enough to prepare him for this moment. He had seen his daughter grow from a tiny bundle of joy to a curious young girl, and now... now, she was a teenager, with a life of her own that he couldn’t control. A life that might include a boyfriend.

A small knot formed in his stomach, but he quickly quelled it. There was no need for that. He was Bruce Wayne, after all. He could handle anything.

His daughter walked into the study, her nervous smile betraying how much she was feeling the weight of this moment. She was holding the hand of a young boy—about her age, maybe a little taller, with messy hair and wide, unsure eyes. Bruce raised an eyebrow, not hiding his scrutiny.

“Dad,” she said again, clearing her throat, “this is Nathan. Nathan, this is my dad.”

Bruce stood slowly, his towering figure causing Nathan to straighten instinctively. The boy looked at Bruce with a combination of respect and clear nerves, and it didn’t take long for Bruce to figure out that this was a serious moment for the both of them.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Wayne,” Nathan said, voice a little shaky as he extended his hand.

Bruce stared at the offered hand for a beat, his gaze sharp. Then, with a deliberate motion, he shook it firmly. “Bruce is fine,” he replied, his tone neutral. “You’re the one my daughter’s been talking about?”

Nathan nodded quickly, glancing at his daughter before looking back at Bruce. “Yes, sir. Uh, she’s amazing. I—um, I mean, we’ve been friends for a while.”

Bruce nodded, still studying the boy. Friends, he thought. Right. He knew how these things worked. But his daughter—his little girl—wasn’t so little anymore. This wasn’t the first time she’d brought a friend home, but it was the first time she was introducing someone as more than that.

“I hear you’re into, uh… science and photography?” Bruce asked, attempting to break the ice, his eyes narrowing slightly, as if he were scanning for any weaknesses. He didn’t want to intimidate Nathan, but he also wanted to make sure the boy understood who he was dealing with.

Nathan’s eyes widened, clearly caught off guard. “Y-Yeah, I love photography. And I’m thinking about pursuing it as a career, actually.”

“Good,” Bruce said, his voice softening, just a little. “Always good to have a passion. Just make sure it doesn’t get in the way of your schoolwork.”

His daughter shifted uncomfortably beside him, and Bruce noticed how she was biting her lip. She wanted him to like Nathan, but she was also caught in the middle of two worlds now—the one where she was still his little girl, and the one where she was her own person, navigating relationships outside of the family bubble.

“Dad…” she began, her voice quiet, but Bruce caught the pleading note in her tone. She was clearly trying to steer the conversation to something else, away from the awkwardness.

“Right. Let’s sit down.” Bruce gestured toward the seating area, his voice softer now. He wasn’t trying to intimidate the boy anymore, just... trying to navigate the new territory that his daughter was venturing into.

They all sat, Bruce folding his arms over his chest, while his daughter took a seat beside Nathan. Bruce tried to remind himself that he didn’t need to be the overbearing father—he was in uncharted waters, yes, but he was still Bruce Wayne. He could handle this.

“So, Nathan,” Bruce continued, his voice calm but direct. “What do you see in my daughter? What makes her ‘amazing’ to you?”

His daughter shot him a look, one that was half-exasperated and half-amused, but Bruce didn’t look away. This was important. She needed to know what to expect in relationships—how to be valued, how to value herself. She was still his little girl, and this would be his last chance to leave an impression on this first boy she had introduced him to.

Nathan blushed under the sudden spotlight. “Well… She’s smart, and kind, and funny. And I respect her. A lot.” He paused, glancing at the girl beside him. “She makes me want to be a better person. Honestly, I didn’t think I could ever feel this way, but I do, and it’s—”

“That’s enough, Nathan,” Bruce interrupted, raising a hand. His eyes softened for just a moment before he gave a tight smile. “I just want to make sure you understand that my daughter’s not someone you can take lightly. She deserves respect, kindness, and honesty. Anything less isn’t good enough.”

Nathan’s face grew serious, his posture straightening, and Bruce saw the respect, and perhaps a little bit of fear, in the boy’s eyes.

“I understand, Mr. Wayne,” he said earnestly.

Bruce nodded, the tension in his chest easing just a little. This was a moment of transition, but one that his daughter was ready for. He wasn’t happy that she was growing up—he didn’t think any father really was—but he would be damned if he wasn’t going to ensure she had the tools to make wise decisions.

“And, Nathan,” Bruce added, voice darkening just a shade, “if anything happens to hurt her in any way, you’ll answer to me.”

His daughter rolled her eyes, but Bruce wasn’t kidding. He was her father, and he wasn’t about to let some teenage crush cause harm to her.

[slasherscream]

hey, i was wondering if you could do a crazy ass boys gang react to a reader who just likes break music/music about hating their bf or something but doesn’t actually relate to the song

❥  turn that shit off  ❥

Jason Dean/JD - You think you’ve stumbled upon the one thing JD is normal about because—at first—he has no reaction and thinks nothing of it. It takes a while for the doubt to creep into his mind. Even a shoddily built house doesn’t collapse under the first rainstorm it endures. It takes time for the water to seep into the walls and rot them from the inside out. That’s what the songs do. Drip. He wonders why you sing them so passionately compared to anything else. Drop. Have you grown distant? Drip. Are you kissing him differently than you used to? Drop. Is he letting his mind run away with him? He’s prone to it. It’s in his blood. But every time he’s close to tossing the whole thing up to the monstrous weight of his own paranoia… there you go. Singing again. JD wants to open up your head and peer inside. Sift through all the precious membrane and viscera until he can wrap his fingers around the truth of what you’re feeling. Whatever it is. Before he drives himself crazy. 

Sparrow!Ben Hargreeves - If Ben was told to describe his own personality, within his top three character traits would be: thick skin. Laughable. Truly laughable, considering that you can ruin his day by just singing a little “you must not know ‘bout me” while you lovingly make the two of you breakfast. It shouldn’t get to him. He knows it shouldn’t. But it does. In true Ben fashion—when he’s being irrational—he turns it back around to be your fault. You are clearly playing mind games with him. Yeah. He’s got it all figured out. You want him squirrel-y and on edge. You’ve interpreted him being affectionate with you (barely) and vulnerable (hah!) as him developing some pathological need for you. And now you’re holding it over his head. He’d respect the power play if it wasn’t happening to him. Expect sullen silence. Then explosive anger… followed by more sullen silence. 

❥  gritting their teeth and bearing it  ❥

David Mccall - Your first instinct is: no way should David be here. He’d absolutely tell me to turn that shit off. Well, you’re right! That’s certainly what he wants to do. However, that’s not what a normal boyfriend would do. And we all know that David wants nothing more in the world than for you to think he’s normal. On his good days, David likes to put on shows of sanity for you the way other people put on puppet shows for children at the local library. Relationships are about compromise. Sometimes the compromise is invisible. Here, it’s him not smashing the radio to pieces, so he doesn’t have to hear you sing another R&B-crooner-jam about leaving him any day now. As if he’d fucking let you. 

Kevin Khatchadourian - To be fair to Kevin, most everything is an exercise in tolerance for him. This is no exception. He very plainly doesn’t like music to begin with. Any of it. Why you think the exception to this rule would be music about not needing a man (him being the man in question) is anyone’s guess. Still, you can tell this irritates him more than most things do. If you ask why—which is a recipe for getting your feelings hurt—he’ll say it’s because your enjoyment of this particular genre is the modern pass-time of insincerity. Here you are, day-in-and-day-out, singing about having your heart-broken (while it remains intact) and not needing him (when you do). For just a moment, you’ll swear his ever-impassive face will twist with the heat of real anger… but he blinks, and it’s gone. Maybe it was never there at all. Or maybe it was. Either way, it’s probably safer to sing when Kevin isn’t around.

Nathan Prescott - Even before you were officially dating, the gnarled roots of his loathing for your little hobby were settling into the foundation of your connection. It’s the way you put so much feeling behind every crooned note. The way you close your eyes to relish the lyrics as they roll off your tongue. The only thing Nathan can think any time you’re in the passenger seat, not even looking at him as your head bobs along to the rhythm of your latest favorite song, is: Who are you missing? Who do you see when you close your eyes? Who do you wish he was? He wears insecurity like a second skin. There hasn’t been a single moment in his life where he’s been good enough. Where he measured up. Even when he didn’t have any fucking competition. There is something in him that is rotten and worthless. It’s knocked him out of the running for more races than he can count. Nathan knows it’s a miracle he has you. He spends all his time counting down the seconds before his luck runs out. Whenever you belt a song about leaving some good-for-nothing boyfriend, his stomach twists. But he grips the steering wheel tight enough to hurt his hands and keeps his mouth shut. He has to. The moment he says it out loud will be the moment it clicks in your mind. And then you’ll be gone. Like everyone else. 

Billy Loomis - At the start, Billy is too high off the honeymoon period to have complaints about anything. It’s so rom-com-esque. The two of you settling into domestic bliss together. Finding your rhythm and place in each other’s lives. Except, your Mr. Right is a serial killer. And you’re his plucky protagonist with enough of a dark side that you went, “Nobody’s perfect!” when you found that out. You two are living the perfect happy ending. But something in his stomach twists every time you belt along to your stereo. He can’t help but think back to his mother. The months leading up to the moment she packed a bag, and he never saw her again. There were signs. Billy’s picked his memories clean—down to the bone—to find them. He wonders if this is a sign he’s choosing to miss. Blinding himself like his father did to his mother’s unhappiness. Billy hopes you’re happy. Hopes you’re not a caged song-bird aching to fly away on the next breeze. God help the both of you if you are.

Josh Washington - Josh is grateful you’re even around. That you’ve stuck with him through everything that’s happened. After everything that’s happened. There are enough ghosts in his head to fill a small cemetery. His sisters. All his friends. Everyone he loves is dead and gone. Except you. Grateful doesn’t begin to cover the scope of what he feels for you. Neither does love. You’ve both been through something no one else understands. Seen things that no one else believes in. Josh wouldn’t even be human without your interference. The way you’d coaxed him from the mines like he was little more than a scared animal, all the while trying not to flinch at how his features had twisted to resemble the monsters that had killed all your friends. Josh doesn’t have the right to ask anything more from you. He certainly doesn’t have the right to ask you to stop singing. 

It’s harmless. It’s beautiful. Josh loves the sound of your voice. It pulled him from the edge of insanity. And you sing nowadays because you’re happy. Because you’re healing, and things like singing along to the radio don’t feel pointless anymore. It’s what you sing that’s the problem. That’s where the torture starts. Josh can never forget that he doesn’t deserve you. It keeps him careful with you. Careful with his words. Careful not to scare you. Careful in a way he’d never been before the mountain. But his mind is weak. It always has been, but it’s weaker now than ever. On his bad days, the threads of logic can be so hard to grasp onto. Almost impossible. His mind takes fragments of songs and throws them into his face over and over. Until all the pieces build up to one simple message: you’d be better off without him. Josh curls up somewhere dark and quiet and pretends it isn’t true.

❥ secret fourth worse thing ❥

Stu Macher - You’d think Stu, with his class-clown nature, would understand when something isn’t that serious. Mostly, he does! A familiar beat starts to play. He’ll turn to you with a: ‘we doing this?’ type of grin. And then he’s belting along to the break-up anthems with you. Supplying the essential back-up vocals and ‘you go girl!’ ad-libs. Sometimes, though, they get to him. There’s no rhyme or reason you’ve been able to decipher. No pattern you’ve started to crack. It’s unnerving. Not being able to tell when a song is going to lead to a honey-soft memory soaked with your shared peals of laughter… or when it will make Stu blow up. But the only thing worse would be making Stu feel like he’s too sensitive to take a joke. So, close your eyes. Ignore the chill running up your spine. And just hope Stu is feeling playful when your favorite song comes on the radio.

A/N: first time back in the saddle in months! thank you for sending this request. I love when the gang gets to be not normal about a non-issue like this. It’s a great character study… that’s still an x reader! my favorite thing to write! 

if you enjoyed these headcanons consider reblogging, leaving a reply, or an anon! this writer's only fuel is engagement. xoxoxo

[zolass]

Lust and Envy Top Male Reader x Perv Male Best Friend Oc I don't know where I wanted to go with this but I'll probably drop a part 2 because I do have some ideas to continue ngl. Also I'm mostly experimenting with those TvT and yes they'll fuck bc I'll make em. content/warning: smut, p in v, does it count as dub-con?, cuckolding, protected sex, perverted best friend, toy and cum and lube, if there's more I'm sry.

1.6k words

You’ve been friends with Nathan for quite a few years, you also heard weird shit spewing from his lips or him asking you a few weirdish requests, yet never something remotely close to this.

“You want me to do what?” you asked in utter disbelief– he couldn’t possibly be serious. Your brows were furrowed together, your jaw working as you grind your teeth a bit in irritation. Nathan’s blue eyes looked slightly up at you, nervous at your reaction, “Well– I just want to see what it’s like to see–” your palm hit your forehead as your eyes closed and you counted down from ten, before you opened your eyes again. “Nathan sometimes I’m questioning why I’m still friends with you– fucking your girlfriend while you watch?” you repeated his request.

This was the with utmost certainty the stupidest thing your best friend ever requested. Nathan shrugged his shoulders, “You’re like the only one I could’ve asked–” “Nathan I’m not even interested in women like that, I wouldn’t even get a boner at seeing a pussy in front of me,” you said. Truth to be told, you did in fact already did something like this before– yet you were actually fucking the boyfriend while the girlfriend watched, to be fair you only did it after making sure you wouldn’t get any smoke from whatever might happen after the experience.

But with Nathan it was different, he wanted you to fuck his girlfriend, it wasn’t a random couple that you probably never see again, it’s someone,despite the many times you questioned yourself being friends with him, close to you. “What if you simply think it’s a guy– come on I’ll owe you one,” Nathan said, grabbing onto your arms while putting on the puppy eyes.

Closing your eyes, you sighed in defeat, “You look stupid with that look on your face,” you simply stated before opening your eyes and glancing down at Nathan, who had a goofy smile on his lips, “Where and when?” 

This was how you found yourself two days later on a saturday, early evening in your best friend's apartment. You stood in the bedroom with the couple, already naked. You looked at the woman standing across from you, before your eyes landed on Nathan who sat in a chair close to the bed, then back to Lexie.

Without a word, the woman kneeled in front of you and took your soft dick in her hands, giving it a few strokes while you tried really hard to imagine it was a guy. Already regretting saying yes, but Nathan this little fucker knew you rarely said no to any of his requests, but before Lexie could take your dick in your mouth you stopped her, “Let’s not– I’ll just do it or else it’ll probably stay limp for the rest of the night,” you said. The woman only glanced at you with a raised eyebrow before she shrugged and stood up.

You grabbed your dick and gave it a few strokes, added with a bit extra help of memories of your past hook-ups you got your cock to be semi-hard, you bit your lip as a grunt was about to leave you, before you opened your eyes and quickly grabbed the condom you took with you. As you glanced over to Nathan, you already saw he had his pants slightly shuffled down, and his dick hard against his stomach. 

Whatever flows one's boat.

You ripped the condom open with your teeth, before you made quick work on rolling it onto your length. The bed queked under the pressure of one person, as you looked over you saw Lexie’s ass facing you, so maybe she did know that you were gay or whatever, at least you didn’t have to see her face. When you took a few steps over to the bed, placing a hand on the curve of her ass, you lined up your cock up to her pussy before you pushed in you, trying your best to trick yourself that it was simply a guy. 

As you pushed in, you didn’t feel as much tightness as you thought, yet the moment her moan sounded, you grabbed her nape and pushed her face into the sheets before thrusting your entire length in. The muffled moan made it easier for you to forget that it was a woman, as you started to harshly thrust your hips while your eyes were squeezed shut. Small grunts started to erupt from you, as you picked up the pace, the light stimulation of the clenching while your mind was somewhere else helped quite well. 

It didn’t take long for a load moan to erupt from Lexie, as her body shuddered and her hole clenched around you as she came, you quickly pulled your dick out, even if you wore a condom, and all that her moans made it painfully obvious that she wasn’t a guy. “I’ll jerk off in the bathroom,” you spoke bluntly, before leaving the bedroom to go into the bathroom, closing the door behind you.

You didn’t want to be blue balled after all of this, so you took your hard cock in your hand and started to give it long strokes, before quickening the pace. Small groans left you, until you came in the condom. Resting your forehead against the cool wall, you shaky breaths as your orgasm welled down and the last spurt of cum landed in the condom before you pulled it off and tied a knot at the top and threw it in the bin. 

Before you tugged your cock back in, you cleaned yourself before stalking back to the bedroom where your pants, and other stuff was. As you walked inside the bedroom, you were rather expecting the two of them to go at it like jackrabbits, but both of them were in the same places they  were before you left the bedroom. 

Pursing your lips, feeling rather awkward and out of place now, you quickly put on your boxers, pants and shirt, before you grab all the necessities you brought wherever you go, you looked at your best friend, whose legs were spread with a white substance all over his shirt and stomach, you couldn’t help the slight snort escaping you gaining the attention of Nathan, “Seems like you really owe me one now, I’ll be going,” you said after putting on your shoes and ready to walk out, “Where’s the condom?” the stupid question came from your friend, to which you looked back at him with your eyebrows knitted together, “In the bin where the hell else?” “Oh–” a dumb smile formed on Nathan’s lips to which you only rolled your eyes, “Take care– both of you.”

With those words you were quickly out of the apartment on your way back home. Yea you were quite stupid for going along with your friend, a dry chuckle left you. Unknownst to you, it didn’t take long for Lexie to also leave her boyfriend’s apartment, saying something about a late ‘girl’s night weekend’, leaving Nathan alone.

Nathan had his head leaned back on the back of the seat, as he simply stared at the ceiling. He remembers clearly how you looked with your eyes closed, small grunts coming through your lips, a frown on your face as even with your eyes closed you seemed focused as you thrust your hips so vigorously. The loud clapping of skin hitting skin, had him wishing it was him underneath you instead of Lexie, just the thought alone of getting his asshole pounded into the mattress by you, had him climaxing.

Then he suddenly remembered the condom you had used, he bit his lip as he stood up before almost making a dash to the bathroom. As he looked into the bin, he saw the tied condom beside some papers you’d used, biting his lip he fished the condom out as he felt the blood rushing to his dick.

He swiftly walked out of the bathroom, to the kitchen in which he grabbed a pair of scissors, only to rush back into his bedroom to grab a box from underneath his bed, after he put the condom and scissors on the bed. Unlatching the handle and opening the top, only to reveal the pink dildo, which basically had the same size as your own.

Nathan bit his lip as he grabbed the dildo and put it on the bed, hastily undressing himself, he snatched the condom and the scissors before cutting the knot off and throwing the scissors into the box in which he hid the dildo. His hole clenched and unclenched in excitement while his cock was basically weeping, dirtying the sheets even further. Slowly he arched his back his ass sticking out, while he looked concentrated back as he slowly let a bit of the white liquid inside the condom drop onto his cheeks, feeling it run down his crack making his dick twitch, before he emptied the rest of your cum on the dildo lubing it up with it.

He couldn’t help but swallow as he simply threw the now almost empty condom somewhere, as he quickly grabbed onto the dildo, keeping it as steady as he could while he lined up his hole with the tip. Shaking with excitement, he basically plunged the entire length inside of his hole, like he did quite a few times before. Nathans back arched, as his eyes rolled to the back of his head and a loud shameless moan rippled from his throat.

The tip pressed right against his prostate, as a spurt of cum shot out of his tip. Not wasting any more time, Nathan started to ride the toy with eagerness imagining it was you, all the while the knowledge of using your cum as lube, thrilled him. He pulled one orgasm out after the other, just wishing it was you ruining him instead of a toy, until he passed out on the drenched sheets with the dildo lodged in his ass. 

Nathan didn’t know how long he could continue, until the greed ultimately got to him.

[joelscurls]

give in to temptation

pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

words: 5.5k

summary: you're in a relationship now — a good, healthy relationship — that doesn't stop you from texting your ex Javi late at night.

warnings: 18+ minors dni, post Narcos s3, porn with plot, smoking, alcohol consumption, explicit smut, sexting, infidelity (I do not condone cheating, but unfortunately it's hot when it's with Javi), reference to masturbation (f), oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, unprotected piv, creampie, use of pet names (cariño, querida, baby, etc.); lmk if I missed anything!

a/n: hi! enjoy 5kish words of dubious morals bc I couldn't get this idea out of my head :)

Humidity clings to the walls, bedsheets strewn across your legs damp with sweat. You kick at them aimlessly, and the cotton grips tighter to slick skin.

In the curve of your palm rests your phone, ringer switched off and brightness turned all the way down — the last thing you want is to wake your boyfriend, dozing next to you as you text another man.

Your fingers are clammy where they wrap around metal, sweat pooling in the divots between your knuckles. 

This is wrong; you know it’s wrong, just like every time preceding this one. But the guilt does nothing to slow the adrenaline racing through your veins. If anything, it makes your heart thump harder.

That, and the words pixelated on the tiny screen of your flip-phone.

Javi [2:03am]:  I’ve been thinking about you all day, cariño. Got me so hard.

You’d met Javier Peña just over a year ago. 

A young woman alone at the bar, you’d drawn him in like a moth to a flame. He had dark brooding eyes and a savior complex that’d been made more apparent with each story he’d shared about his time as a DEA attaché in Colombia, from which he’d recently returned.

Do you miss it? you’d asked, nursing a martini.

Like hell, he’d said. But I have nothing left to give.

I don’t know if I believe you, you’d countered with a wink.

Not an hour later, you’d found yourself in his living room, dress hiked up to your waist as he devoured you. 

Sex with Javi was easy, mindless. For a while, his body served as a refuge for you after shitty days at work and arguments with your overbearing mother. A lone beacon in the fog, he was always more than willing to help you forget the stressors in your life. And your own name.

It was passionate, and filthy, and sticky — left your legs trembling and your head dizzy — each and every time. 

With him, you didn’t have to talk. Didn’t have to think. It was just sex, with no strings and no labels. Your relationship, if you could call it that, was perpetuated by the transcendent pleasure you felt in the spaces between words, when your mouths were preoccupied.

But when your birthday came and went and you found yourself another year older, an aching feeling settled in your gut — a feeling that time had begun to pass more quickly than it used to. And on its heels came the desire for something more, something you knew Javi was not willing to provide: a relationship.

The decision to end things was mutual, amicable. It was the easiest “breakup” you’d ever gone through. Maybe because it wasn’t a “breakup” at all.

A few weeks later, you’d met Nathan, a law student with a polite disposition and an eagerness to settle down. He’d treated you well, the type to open doors for you and ask about your day. On all fronts, he was a good man — a little boring, but good.

After a month, you made it official. After two, he moved into your place.

And you stopped thinking about Javi, about the way his large hand had fit perfectly around your throat, the way he’d been able to coax you to orgasm in two different languages. No, you only thought about the man in front of you, the one with the steadily growing collection of argyle ties and the unstamped passport.

Sex with Nathan was admittedly different. He didn’t make you cum as quickly or as easily; your body didn’t crave his with the same amount of fervor it had Javier’s. But it was loving, sweet, what any woman would want…should want.

And it was normal that you thought about your ex sometimes when your current partner laid his weight on top of you, that you imagined a different mouth slotted against your neck or on your tits. Because certainly, everyone did that every once in a while. It was harmless.

As long as you never uttered his name out loud, he’d remain only in your head, lost to time to exist there forevermore.

But then came the day in the grocery store, on your date to the cereal aisle to restock Nathan’s favorite, bran flakes. He’d materialized like a ghost of good sex’s past.

You didn’t dare speak to him, didn’t trust yourself to. Under the bright fluorescent lights, you’d felt your palms begin to sweat, your throat constrict, eyes glued to the selection of boxes in front of you. But while Nathan debated between store brand and name brand, you’d snuck another cautious glance at him.

Javi’s expression was unreadable. He’d looked between you and Nathan as if he were trying to solve a rubix cube. One he was becoming increasingly frustrated by. He’d gripped the handle of his shopping cart so tightly, the skin on his knuckles appeared near translucent.

And then he’d disappeared, tiny wheels on the carriage screeching, noise barely audible over your pulse.

The first text came later that night.

Are you seeing someone? it’d read.

Yes, you’d replied. But that doesn’t mean we can’t talk. 

You’d quickly established ground rules: messages would only be exchanged after midnight, never two nights in a row, no calls, and — most importantly — Nathan would never find out.

Okay, Javi had said. Just one more rule: don’t use his name with me.

To your right, Nathan snores, the singular catch of an inhale in his throat, and the noise jolts you, face heating as if you’ve been caught.

Then he shifts, turns on his side, away from you. You feel a strange wash of relief. A semblance of privacy that you shouldn’t be after.

You respond to Javier with your tongue between your teeth.

You [2:04am]: thinking about me doing what?

Javi [2:06am]: Riding me. Your tits in my face. My hands on your ass.

 Your breath catches, attention abruptly pulled to the incessant throbbing between your legs.

You definitely shouldn’t sneak to the bathroom and touch yourself. Shouldn’t send Javi a grainy photo of your fingers in your panties. Shouldn’t make yourself cum with your ex-lover’s name on your lips.

Not for the third time this week.

But when your cunt inadvertently clenches around nothing, your judgment is suddenly clouded.

With one last glance at the sleeping form beside you, you clamber to your feet and tiptoe down the hallway, wetness dripping down your thighs as you go.

The bathroom door closes with a quiet click. You fumble for the lightswitch, eyes reflexively squeezing shut when the room brightens. 

You hover over the sink, steadying yourself against porcelain with one hand while you type furiously with the other.

You [2:10am]: yeah? you wanna suck on my tits?

The mirror parallel you reflects something out of a thriller, your pupils fully dilated and your forehead glistening with sweat. You almost don’t recognize the woman staring back at you in all her depravity.

You slump to the floor. Rest with your back to the side of the tub. 

Javi [2:11am]: Dying to. Always felt so fucking perfect in my mouth.

Desperate fingers slip under the hem of your shorts, into your panties. The phone balances precariously in your other hand, thumb stumbling over buttons on the keypad.

You [2:12am]: I miss your cock.

Javi [2:13am]: That’s right, querida. Best you ever had, huh?

You [2:13am]: Yes. Always made me feel so fucking good. 

Javi [2:15am]: Fuck. Are you touching yourself?

You swirl two digits at your entrance, amply coating them in your slick before dragging them up to your swollen clit. You can’t stifle the moan that slips past your lips.

You [2:16am]: yes

Javi [2:16am]: good girl

The phone distractedly tumbles from your grasp, clinking against tile as you begin to work yourself toward the brink.

And then — there’s a knock on the bathroom door.

The room spins, walls suddenly shrinking in on you as you wrench your hand out of your panties. Nathan’s voice on the other side is muffled, by the exhaust fan and by the ringing in your ears. But you can just decipher his words, his voice laden with sleep.

“Babe? Are you okay? I thought I heard-“

“Fine, I’m uh, I’m fine,” you say, scrambling to your feet, wiping wet fingers on your shorts.

The doorknob jostles, and it dawns on you then that you’d forgotten to fucking lock it.

 “No! Don’t come in,” you sputter. The door hitches, less than an inch cracked. “I just had a stomach ache, but I’m okay now. I’ll be back in bed in a minute.”

“Oh.” He yawns. Pulls it shut again. “Okay.”

You brace yourself against the sink, struggling to slow your racing heart. 

With a flush of the empty toilet, Nathan’s footsteps recede down the hall and out of earshot. You wash your hands, then, fingers shaking under the stream of lukewarm water.

You dry them hastily, not bothering to pick up the towel when it slides off the rail and onto the floor.

You [2:21am]: gotta go. sorry. 

Javi [2:22am]: ???

Nathan is far too kind the following morning. He sets a plate of buttered toast and a mug of peppermint tea out for you on the kitchen table, and presses a nauseatingly gentle kiss to your forehead as you eat.

His amber eyes scan you like he’s searching for any indicators that you’re still hurting, fingers anxiously carding through his sandy hair.

You’re sure he’s clocked the dark circles marking your undereyes — not that he knows the real reason for them.

“I’m fine,” you promise when you feel him staring.

“Are you sure?” he probes. “The noise you made was…intense; you sounded really pained.”

Pained? Not exactly.

“I know.” You stuff the last bite of toast into your mouth. Tilt the empty plate toward him.

“But I’m okay; see? Even have an appetite this morning. It was just a weird bug or something.”

The lie burns on the way out, scalds your throat. But Nathan buys it. Doesn’t ask any further questions.

Still, he tells you to take it easy today on his way out the door.

You can’t look him in the eye when you insist that you will.

You call out of work, too sick with self-loathing to show your face in the office. Instead, you mope around all day, attempt to distract yourself with the overflowing hamper of laundry in the closet.

It’s futile though, your brain paralyzed by thoughts of Nathan finding out about the affair, and the clothes remain unwashed.

He returns that evening with a plastic bag in his clutch, the local pharmacy’s logo printed on the front.

“Here,” he says, pulling out a brand new heating pad. “I realized last night that we didn’t have one of these laying around.”

You know, at that moment, that you need to end things with Javi.

Nathan is good to you. He loves you with actions, not just words. Thinks of you before he thinks of himself, in every situation. And you — you’re cheating on him. Taking advantage of him. Not even trying to be what he deserves.

You’ll try harder. To love him, to think of him. No longer will you give in to brainless, animalistic needs. Surely, you can mimic the passion you have with someone else if you just try. 

Try, try, try. You can do it.

Sleep evades you that night, coming in brief stints and leaving you breathless when you wake. 

In those conscious moments, the analog clock in the corner of the room taunts you, glaring red neon making your head pound.

After three straight hours of tossing and turning, you decide it can’t wait any longer.

You fish your cellphone off the nightstand. Snap it open.

You [3:23am]: We need to end this before things get ugly.

You’re sure he won’t be awake this late; not without reason. But then — the screen blinks.

Javi [3:24am]: Nothing’s going to get ugly. Please, cariño. 

You [3:24am]: I almost got caught last night. I don’t want to hurt him.

Javi [3:25am]: Can we talk about this? Javi [3:25am]: In person?

Your heart palpitates. For a moment, you swear it stops altogether.

You [3:26am]: What the hell? No Javi, I can’t.

Javi [3:27am]: C’mon. Just talk. Don’t you think you owe me that?

Your eyes flit to Nathan. 

You watch him for a long moment: the steady rise and fall of his chest, the slouch of his shoulders, the gape of his mouth.

He’s well and truly asleep. You’re sure you could sneak away without him waking. Slip out the door and get a cab to Javier’s, talk things through, and be back in bed before the sun rises — before Nathan even knows you’ve left. 

And then everything will be just as it was before you messed this up. You can leave Javi in the past, where he belongs. 

Of course, you’re not just going to talk. Deep in your bones, you know that. Know that when he’s there in front of you, you’ll be too weak to resist any of his advances.

Still, you play coy. Ignore the spring of excitement tightening in your abdomen. 

In a move of finality, one which you know you won’t be able to come back from, you stand. Make your way into your closet to pull some pants and a t-shirt on, your cell phone clutched in your hand. 

You [3:30am]: Fine.

Javier sends you his address — as if you’d have forgotten it. As if the name of his apartment complex isn’t permanently etched behind your eyelids, along with the wide slope of his shoulders and the plush of his bottom lip.

When the cab pulls up to the curb, the driver is visibly concerned. His bushy, gray brows thread together and his narrowed eyes catch yours in the rearview more than once on the drive across town.

It’s only when you reach Javi’s building and hand over your fare that the man speaks.

“Are you alright, sweetheart? Quite late for you to be out on your own.” 

His voice crackles, the smell of cigarette smoke heavy on his breath, and it’s strangely comforting. 

“Yeah,” you promise as you push the door open and step out.

He rolls his window down, anxiously watching as you maneuver your way to the front door. And then he’s driving off, headlights vanishing into the thick night.

Javier lets you up on the first buzz. He’s waiting for you in the entryway of his apartment, leaning with a large hand pressed to the doorframe.

Your mouth goes dry at the sight of him: shirtless, bronze skin cast in the dim yellow light of the corridor. 

His eyes rake over you the moment you’re in front of him, lingering when they catch on your collarbone, your breasts, your legs. He looks so imposing like this. You find yourself unable to move; frozen under his silent, lustful gaze.

“Are you — can I come in?” you ask meekly.

He nods then, a slow lift of his chin. Steps backward into darkness. You will yourself to take one step, and then another, following him over the threshold and past the point of no return.

It feels so odd to be here, in his space, with the intention of doing anything other than fucking. If you look close enough, you swear you can make out the shape of your body imprinted in the couch cushions, can hear lingering echoes of climaxes reached with your face shoved into one of his decorative pillows — can feel them, too.

Arousal pulls between your thighs. You ignore it.

You wonder how many other women have been here since you, have taken Javi in their hands or their mouths or their cunts. How many names that aren’t yours has he chanted in the throes of passion? 

And — moreover — why do you care?

You don’t. You definitely don’t.

Javi pours you a glass of wine, fills a crystal with whiskey for himself. He flicks a lamp on, casting the room in an orange glow, and settles into the couch You follow his lead, perching yourself on one of the arm rests apprehensively.

“So,” you start. “About what we’ve been…doing-“

He cuts you off with a quirk of his brow, a flinch of his jaw. 

“Javi,” you try again. “This has to — we can’t-”

“You’re sure you want to break it off, cariño?” His voice comes out low, dark.

And the thing is — you’re not sure. You wish you were, wish you had the strength to tell him definitively that it’s over, to go home to your boyfriend and block Javi’s number on the way out. 

But the flex of his bicep when he hooks his arm behind his head, the knowing smirk playing on his lips, his cock — which you can’t see, but know is long and thick under his jeans — it all makes your head feel heavy. 

You let the weight of it drop between your shoulders, hang there as you silently search for just a particle of sanity left in your being. You come up empty. 

“Fuck,” you hiss, claw your fingers into your scalp. “This is — fuck.”

Leather groans under Javi’s weight. He stands. Steps in front of you.

You don’t dare look at him, not until he pinches your chin between two fingers and forces your gaze to meet his. His eyes are charcoal-black, something devious swimming behind blown pupils.

“Baby,” he croons. “Why did you really come here?” 

You play dumb. “What do you mean? To — to talk.”

His thumb skates along the underside of your jaw, soft and placating.

“We’re not really gonna talk — are we?”

Your head spins, mind clouded by Javier’s words, his touch. You sense yourself losing resolve just as he pulls you upright by both hands. 

You’re so close like this; can taste the whiskey on his breath, can feel the warmth of his exhale against your skin.

His mouth moves to the shell of your ear, voice a mere whisper when he speaks again.

“Wanna know what I think, querida?” he asks, palm flattening at your lower back, pushing you flush against him. “I think you came here because texting wasn’t enough anymore, huh? Think you missed me.”

And the truth is, you have missed him — painfully so. You’ve missed the timbre of his voice, the caress of his hands, the stretch of his cock. All just in reach, tangible for the first time in so long.

Your need for him borders on carnal. The feeling snakes its way up from your stomach into the cavern of your ribcage, splays its weight across your delicate, pounding heart. 

And then the rational part of your brain whirs weakly to life.

What are you doing?

“I have a boyfriend,” you say. You’re not sure who you’re reminding. 

“Mhm,” Javi mutters, deft fingers peeling the fabric of your t-shirt up, up, up your body. You don’t stop him.

“And does your boyfriend —“ he kneels down, presses a kiss where exposed skin meets denim — “make you feel as good as I do, cariño?”

You can’t answer that. It wouldn’t be right. Because any of this is.

“Javi — I,” you try, cut off abruptly by dull teeth in the flesh of your waist. You yelp, the sweet sting quickly dissipating as he pauses. Pulls back. 

“You can say it,” he goads with a wicked smirk. “I won’t tell him.”

“He — no,” the words leave you before you even feel them in your mouth, and then you’re cursing yourself. You can’t take it back — it’s too late. Javi knows, you know. The only one still in the dark is Nathan. 

Javier says your name. His tone is different, soberingly serious. 

“Tell me to stop.” 

Fuck. 

“Tell me to stop,” he repeats, “and I’ll stop.”

“I can’t,” you whisper, so quiet you barely hear yourself. 

“Cariño-”

“I can’t,” you stammer, louder. “I — fuck, Javi. Please.”

“Please?”

He knows what you’re asking for; he just needs to hear you say it.

“Please fuck me.”

In an instant, he’s standing back up, grasping at your sides and impatiently guiding you onto the couch. He brackets you against the cushions, one hand splayed next to your head on the backrest, the other popping the button of your jeans open. 

You lift your ass as he tugs them down your legs, pulls them past your ankles and leaves them in a heap on the floor. And then he’s moving down your body, kneeling at your altar and prying you open for him.

You surrender to him willingly, desperation growing when he pulls your panties aside and gazes at your glistening sex, transfixed by you.

“This gorgeous pussy,” he hums, leaning down to taste you.

“Yeah?” you breathe. “You miss it?”

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he groans. Dips his tongue into the apex of your heat, refamiliarizing himself with your nectar before licking a languid stripe up to your throbbing clit.

You writhe under him, beg with wordless whines and whimpers for more. He knows your sounds, knows their tells, soothes you with a gentle shh against your cunt. 

His lips wrap around your clit, then, envelope it completely as he starts to suckle, and the sudden sensation makes you buck your hips.

“Javi — fuck, oh — holy-” 

He retreats, mouth shiny with your arousal. “What is it, baby? Your boyfriend doesn’t eat your pussy like this?”

“He doesn’t,” you admit breathlessly. Javi clicks his tongue. Faux-pouts at you. 

His lips reattach to your clit and you curse.

“Fuck, Javi, he — he’s never-“

The half-admission stops him in his tracks. He stares back up at you with narrowed eyes.

“Cariño, don’t tell me he doesn’t go down on you?”

Your face heats. “He — he says he doesn’t like to do it.”

Suddenly, Javi looks livid.

His fingernails dig into the meat of your inner thighs mindlessly. You watch his lip twitch and his eyes roll to the ceiling.

He’s unaffected by much these days — but Javi clearly doesn’t take kindly to a man not pleasuring his woman. Especially when you are the woman in question.

“Pendejo,” he murmurs. 

“Javi,” you whine. “Please.”

Your pleading voice seems to snap him out of it. Or at least remind him of the task at hand.

He returns his attention to your dripping pussy with one final huff. “Gonna take care of you baby, don’t worry.”

You anchor yourself with fingers of one hand twisted in the dark, sweaty curls at the crown of his head. Two digits on the other pinch at one of your hardened nipples, just as Javier begins to swipe his tongue back and forth over your clit.

“Fuck,” you sigh, draping your trembling legs over his shoulders. 

He licks your cunt like he fears you’re going to melt, lathes over your clit again and again with the wide flat of his tongue. The wet squelch of him slurping at you, eager to catch every last drop of your arousal, bounces off the walls obscenely.

You hope, fleetingly, that his neighbors are heavy sleepers. Better yet, that they’re out of town.

Maybe he’s putting in extra effort because he knows now that your boyfriend isn’t doing this for you at home. Or maybe he’s just better at it than you remember. Regardless, you find yourself completely overcome with ecstasy, close to falling apart on Javi’s tongue in a matter of minutes.

As soon as he curls two fingers into your cunt, you’re gone, cumming so hard your vision pulls and your thighs shake.

You sing Javi’s name like a hymn. It rolls off your tongue effortlessly, naturally. Like it’s made for you to recite.

He lets you come down, soothes you with gentle hands stroking along your thighs, soft lips pressed to your sensitive mound. 

When your breathing evens, he lifts off of his haunches, motions for you to lay flat on the couch with your neck supported by the armrest. And then he shucks his pants off, his cock immediately springing up to his stomach, a trail of precum dripping down his navel.

You’d forgotten how gorgeous it was — the heady, pink tip shiny with arousal, veins running along the underside of the thick base prominent. It twitches in interest as Javier leans down to kiss you, prods against your slick inner thigh when his tongue presses into yours.

You hook your legs around his back, desperately attempting to pull him closer, attempting to drag him into your achingly empty cunt.

He grins against your lips, hand moving between your bodies to guide himself to your entrance.

“Impaciente,” he mumbles.

You whine, nails digging into his shoulders. “Please Javi, need it.”

“Yeah?” He pauses with his cockhead right at your seam. “How bad?”

“Fuck — so bad, need it so bad.” Your nails burrow deeper into flesh. He hisses.

“God damn, querida; that much, huh?”

“Yes, Javi,” you groan. “Please just-”

He bottoms out in one deep thrust, effectively knocking the air out of your lungs. You moan in unison, his head falling against your shoulder as he slowly begins to move. 

Your cunt sucks him in greedily, clenching around him over and over again. It’s intoxicating, the feeling of his cock nudging your g-spot with every roll of his hips. You wonder how you went so long without this. Fear you won’t be able to again.

He pulls all the way out and snaps into you before setting a new, brutal pace, one that leaves you babbling underneath him. 

The room grows palpably warmer, white heat licking at your neck, your chest, your back — where it sticks to leather. You find yourself lost in the way your bodies move together; a dance you’ve done so many times before; one you’d perfected all those months ago. 

“Shit,” Javi slurs. “Take me so well, cariño. Like you’re — ahh — made for me.”

I am, you want to say. 

“Fuck,” you moan instead, “so good, baby. Feels so fucking good.”

And it does. You’re going to snap soon, going to cum for a second time, soak his cock.

You tighten around him, a silent warning. He slips out and you whine at the loss. But then he’s hiking your legs over his shoulders, spreading you wider for him and delving back in at a new angle that makes you scream.

You can feel it building now, like a snowball in your abdomen. You can’t fight it, can barely warn Javi, his name spilling brokenly from your throat as your orgasm crests.

He talks you through it with praises whispered in your ear. So beautiful, princesa — that’s it. So pretty when you fall apart on my cock. There you go; let it all out, baby.

Fucked-out and boneless, you beg for Javi to please cum inside.

He growls, low and primal, gripping tightly to the flesh of your waist as his thrusts begin to falter. “That what you want, querida? Want to — shit — want to go back to your boyfriend with me dripping out of you?”

“Yes,” you chant thoughtlessly, yes, yes, yes. 

“Dirty. Fucking. Girl.” he grits, each word punctuated by a jerk of his hips. 

He spills inside you with his teeth in the crook of your neck. There’s so much of it, filling your cunt, leaking out around his cock and onto leather. It sates you in a way you didn’t know possible, as if your womb needs to be claimed by him and only him. Nobody else will do.

You almost resent the feeling of your eyesight returning and your breaths steadying. You don’t want to come down — not if it means you need to go home.

But the sky outside is turning purple, bruising with the threat of a new day on the horizon, and you know your time together is nearly up.

“Javi,” you mutter, his chest still heaving against yours, cock softening inside you.

“Up.”

He shifts, pulls out in a devastating loss, and retreats to the opposite side of the couch.

You begin to knead the muscles in your aching calves, Javi fumbling with the pack of cigarettes on the side table next to him. He takes one out and lights it, the end glowing faintly.

“What do we do?” you ask. He rubs at the crease in his forehead, definitely set there by years of chasing after drug cartels. Maybe also by running away from meaningful conversation with you.

“You can’t go back to him,” he mumbles.

You scoff. “I can’t? I have to Javi, Nathan is my-“

“Don’t say his name,” he snaps, abruptly ashing his cigarette and turning to face you. He looks wrecked, his eyes wide and his lips downturned. 

“What do you want from me, Javi?” you bite, pulling your panties back into place and reaching for your jeans where they lay on the floor. “You want me to be at your beck and call forever? Cheat on him until one of us dies?”

“I —“ Javi sighs. “No.”

“Then what?” You pull your pants on: one leg, then the other. Pull your shirt back down to cover your breasts. 

“I — want you.”

You nearly choke on your own saliva.

“What?”

“All of you,” he clarifies. “When I saw you with him for the first time in that grocery store — my heart sank. I didn’t — didn't realize how serious my feelings were for you. Fuck, I shouldn’t have let you end things that day.”

He stands. Braces pleading hands on your shoulders. 

“I know I’m an asshole,” he continues. “I thought I could never be someone’s partner. That I wouldn’t…wouldn’t be good. How could I be when I’ve done so much bad in my life?”

You sink into his touch. His words.

“Javi-“

“No, cariño — I need you to hear this. I want to be good for you, know I can be. I’ll do anything. I just — I can’t let you get away again.”

You feel as if you’ve just been struck by an arrow. Or, more accurately, a train. Your bones hurt and your insides twist.

You’re silent for a long moment, watching as his eyes desperately search yours. You know you need to say something eventually, put him out of his misery, but you’re too afraid to find out what happens next.

The undeniable fact that you want to be with him too is almost too much to bear. You’ll have to break it off with Nathan, split his heart in half. He doesn’t deserve it, you think, over and over.

But then, maybe you don’t deserve to remain unhappy. Unfulfilled.

Maybe you need to hurt him once in order to stop repeatedly hurting yourself.

“You’re good, Javier,” you say then. “You’re a good man. You deserve good.”

“Yeah?” his voice cracks. Tears prick in the corners of his eyes. He retracts them with a deep breath in.

You grab the sides of his face. “Yes. And I — I want you too.”

Javier kisses you, so deep you think your lips might bruise. There’s finality in it — you’re his and he’s yours — and no longer will you pretend that’s not the case.

He drives you back to your place, unwilling to let his girl get in another cab alone before daylight.

Laredo looks beautiful at dawn, all dozing buildings and empty roads. You pass by your workplace and groan at the realization that you’ll have to be back there in a few hours; you can’t call out again. A stack of unfiled reports will surely be waiting for you atop your desk.

That dread doesn’t last long, though, not when you look to the man in the driver’s seat, the one who makes your mouth water and your heart skip.

When he catches your gaze, corner of his mouth turning up at you mischievously, you know for certain that everything will work out just fine.

Javi turns onto your street slowly, moreso than he needs to, a possessive hand gripping your thigh.

“Will you let me know how it goes?” he asks when the car pulls up to the curb.

“Yeah,” you sigh. “I mean, I think it’s safe to say it won’t go well, but-“

“I know. But if he gives you any more trouble than he needs to, you call me.”

Your eyes flit up to your bedroom window, blinds drawn up and curtains pulled aside. The room is still dark, Nathan no doubt still asleep.

You’ll go up in a second.  After you kiss Javier one more time.

He seems taken aback when your lips catch his, maybe because it’s crazy to do this here, now. But you can’t help it. Can’t keep your hands — or your mouth — off of him now that you have him.

He relaxes into it after just a second, licking into your mouth to deepen the kiss, his hand moving from your thigh to the back of your head to hold you against him.

And then — he abruptly pulls away.

“Shit,” he curses, staring wide-eyed at the window.

You follow his eyeline, freezing when you see what he sees: Nathan, tall and shadowy, looking straight at you.

“Well,” Javi laughs nervously, “I think he knows.”

end notes: ty so much for reading! pls consider reblogging and/or leaving a comment if you enjoyed :)

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