#and my inability to shut up

[rsaccountonhere]

My turn,

1,16,27 please ♥️

1. Do you have freckles? - I do not, though I think I used to. I feel like I remember being a kid and having a little smattering of them come out in the summertime. Not anymore though.

16. Want any tattoos? What of? - I do not have any tattoos right now, and I've really never been sure if I want to get any. I've got a few ideas if I ever decide I do, though. Maybe a dragon somewhere. A sword maybe, if I can settle on a design I like. And this, probably:

27. What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? - Oof. I used to be a big reader, but then I tried doing an English degree and got so burnt out that I've barely been able to pick up a book for pleasure since. Let's see. Nerdiest and truest possible answer is Bionicle - Adventures #10: Time Trap. Old robot man reminisces about his final days as a superhero when he defeated the Devil one-on-one (for the second time) by holding the concept of time hostage in the ruins of the city that was once his home. Good stuff.

For some at least half respectable and less niche answers? Lord of the Rings is a bit of a slog sometimes, but there's a reason everyone has at least heard of it. I liked Kennth Oppel's Silverwing books a lot as a kid, got my fondness for bats from there. I am also the kind of person who actually laughs my ass off reading shit like Plato's Symposium, and Dante's Divine Comedy. Yeah, I'm that bitch. They're so petty, it's so funny. Also, there was this one series I started reading at one point that was called Pendragon I think. Not Arthuriana related at all, it was this kid bobbing around the multiverse trying to save various worlds from falling into societal collapse and presumably save all of existence. I never finished it, and I don't really even remember if it was any good, but a lot of the ideas in it really stuck with me so that must count for something.

[makenna-made-this]

Marriage and kids? Yeah yeah sure but have you ever experienced the unbridled trust and love of a chicken?

[sunfloralchaos]

On being told you're too loud, too emotional, too much - either directly or indirectly and getting stuck having to unlearn the urge to just disappear as a result

[ruby-static]

yeah.

[vintageandroid]

I told my partner that listening to "Peacefield" is like having Papa hold my hand musically. Maybe everything is going to be okay.

[pain-in-the-butler]

I wrote 2.7k total last night and today, we are so fucking back 💪

[johnentwistlesbassguitar]

Can he stop being the most gorgeous man to ever exist for 5 seconds

[unremarkable-gods]

how do i explain to my dad that im not giggling kicking my feet and twirling my hair because im talking to someone but because the funky internet people in my phone like when i talk about topgun

[nyxfaei]

Give this post a like if you’d be interested in a malevolent twitch drawing stream starting around 10 or 10:30 EST

[lemongogo]

do i finish dunmesh tn ..

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

I see your tags on the Wocky and Alita art, I would love to hear your thoughts on Alita actually!

I only need one person to show interest in what I have to say for me to talk forever and ever, thank you. HAHA Okay, in seriousness, this won't be as thorough/long as the Klavier post because... there really isn't much to her, but I find it extremely interesting how Alita falls into the same category of witnesses as April May and Dahlia without being — and I mean no offence to her when I say this — stunning? Like, with April and Dahlia, there's a very clear mass appeal to them which most people point out. Contrariwise, Alita's appearance is really only commented on by Trucy, and just glancing at her portrait, you can see that, without her slightly outlandish fashion, she's frankly nothing to write home about.

So why am I discussing this? Surely it's a little reductive to analyse female characters beginning with their appearances? Usually, yes, but that's the thing about this category of witnesses: their pretty faces aren't just pretty faces.

For April and Dahlia, their beauty is part of their arsenal. It functions as both their defence and their weapon of choice; they know how to wield it to bring people under their heel. Alita being ordinarily pretty instead of drop-dead gorgeous deprives her of that weapon and leads you to wonder how she became a mafia heiress to begin with. It also parallels her to Mimi Miney in a way that goes beyond the 'murderous nurse who worked for and killed her awful boss' comparison you get on the surface. Presumably, Alita, like Mimi, only got to where she was because she managed to fool the people around her into believing she was less dangerous than she actually is. Mimi did this by feigning stupidity and inviting people to underestimate her. Alita seems to do this by showing them what they want to see.

When she first meets Apollo and Trucy, Alita stays quiet and spends more time listening to them than she does talking. Once she has a hold on who they are, then she slips into her persona, and I find it interesting how she doesn't even attempt to come across as particularly delicate or lovelorn? Instead she goes for the relatively typical role of a distressed, indulgent loved one earnestly entreating Apollo for help. I'm inclined to say she does this because her read on Apollo makes her realise that he'd likely be exasperated or annoyed by such a person; but it's also almost as if she knows she doesn't have the disposition to pull off that frail, damsel-in-distress archetype and has resigned herself to being ordinary. Like how she looks. The next time she has to reapply her persona, Alita's appearing in court, and again she makes subtle adjustments that best suit her situation. The judge is old, so she takes a chance on expressing her dedication as a wife while balancing her dedication as a righteous citizen, which works. But oddly enough, despite her successes, I don't think Alita is actually good? At donning disguises? Everyone I've seen discuss this case has been able to guess almost immediately that she's the culprit, and maybe we're just prepped by past characters like her that have appeared, but I don't think she's even that convincing in the game.

Both the identities she assumes are risky manoeuvres that happen to fall in her favour, and she's not particularly dedicated to maintaining the front. When she asks Apollo to be Wocky's defence, she admits that marrying him is largely a chance at a more exciting life than some great love story; Plum Kitaki straight up says that there's a darkness in Alita she doesn't like, despite how docile Alita behaves in front of her; and Wocky has moments where he slips up and calls her things like, "imposter" and "fallen angel", implying that at least subconsciously, he knows she's not what she makes herself out to be. Even her general mannerisms don't greatly differ between her actual self and the mask who's blunt her claws — nothing is ever overtly coy or cutesy — and when Apollo brings up the fact she was Wocky's nurse, she drops the facade almost immediately. There's no waffling, no, "Whatever do you mean?"s or, "You're scaring me"s, just the statement, "I don't know what you mean by 'meaning', Mr. Justice!" delivered in a sudden cool, frosted steeliness.

And I think that steel is what really makes her different.

See, the other women are all driven to crime by some defining trait in themselves caused by their circumstances. For Dahlia, it's her desperate need to be free of the Fey clan; for Mimi, it's grief over her sister's unjust death; and for April, it's her fear of Redd White. You don't really get that with Alita. Instead of there being something dark in her life that leads her down this path, she just seems... tired. Tired of being "pretty enough" but not "gorgeous", tired of being the obedient nurse to the corrupt doctor, tired of being ordinary. There's no predatory external force pushing her into a corner, there's no abusive family beliefs pinning her down. There's just an ordinary life, lived dull and ordinarily, and she had had enough. So what does this girl, who's tired and ordinary in every way except the steel that lines her spine, do to get out of this?

She gambles.

Marrying into the mafia was a gamble, seeking Apollo as council was a gamble, shooting Dr. Meraktis was a gamble. Every decision she's made since she met Wocky has been a series of high-stakes gambles that leave her life on the line all so she won't be second-best anymore. This time, she was going to be the one on top. No matter what.

... And I'm sorry for loving evil women, but girlboss?? Girlboss???

I've heard people say they're disappointed that her "breakdown" is just an extension of her usual damage sprite, but it's honestly one of my favourite "breakdowns" in the series ever? Just because it isn't really one? Everything Alita has done up till now has been reckless, calculated risk, of course being convicted for murder is no different than losing in any other aspect of her life. Of course you're not going to get more than her damaged sprite, because this doesn't warrant a more dramatic reaction. She's lived this whole time knowing it could all come crashing down around her, and it finally did.

She made a bad bet. You caught her. Oh well.

The frosted girl of steel, standing tall to the very end. It's kind of sad that, even after all that, she's still seen as only second-best, incomparable to mimi, dahlia or any of the other women who've stood in her place.

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

every day i wish the princesses had like any character at all and werent just there to be girlfriends

[txmxkis]

i think i am in fact tired because the Thoughts™ are getting to me

[silkchvffon]

closed for @invcntions !

THE LAST TIME SHE WAS HERE she had promised both of them she'd never be back and esma's never been one to break a promise. she's always been one for rules and order, priding herself in her ability to follow direction, her eye for details, her dutiful heart. and yet it's her heart that deceives her now. the last time she was here she had towered over ryder with false righteousness. now it's her own inability to choose for herself that has her crumbling. christmas had been hard — holidays always are in the kahveci - household — and, even when her hand had been in lucas's, esma's never felt so lonely before. she can't talk about it with her soon - to - be husband — he wouldn't understand the emotional backdrop of it all, the life her parents left behind to build this one, the expectations she'll never meet even when she's always doing what she's told to. he wouldn't understand the anger she wrestles, or the heartbreak that will always be nestled inside of her. but ryder will. she's not sure what she's looking for, but even then she knocks on his door and stands swaying on his doorstep. she's been drinking too much — esma, who never has more than two glasses of wine no matter the occasion. she'd be ashamed, except without him she doesn't seem to know what she's supposed to feel anymore. it's only when the door cracks open that esma jolts out of her dazed state, eyes wide when ryder stares back at her. « i'm — i'm sorry, i — » her gaze flickers around briefly, as if to look for an excuse. it's written all over her face though: she needs him. she always did. « i should go. » and still she can't, glued to the spot, eyes soon blurring with tears she never meant to spill.

[antialiasis]

I am more than 10,000 words into writing up All of My Thoughts on The Good, the Bad and the Ugly and I only just got to the halfway point of the movie. I don't know if anyone is going to read all this but at least I will have put all the Thoughts in writing and then I will probably be able to do some other things

[novabun-ships]

Roommate: Ouh, what are you watching?

Me: American Heist.

Roommate: didn't you watch that yesterday?

Me: Yes.

Roommate: so why are you.. [James appears on screen] oh.

Me grinning: What!?

Roommate: So what's this ones name?

me: James~

Roommate: I should of known-

Me: Listen--

Roommate: You're attracted to him.

Me: HE'S SOOOOO CUUUUTTTEEEE and he's sweet and he's badass and he's pretty and he knows how to play the piano and he's a mechanic an--

Roommate: I GET IT!!! Have fun watching this a million times

Me: Thank you I will!!!! :D