#and not even every month
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Genuinely concerned that i'm fast approaching the point where i can no longer afford to both pay rent and feed myself.
So that's cool.
Don't know.... What i'm going to do about it.
#monster noises#the only extraneous spending i really have is Sometimes I Go To The Thrift Store#but at Max that's 30-60 dollars#Per Month.#and not even every month#it may be a relatively fair chunk of change i guess#and i'm working on reigning it in even further#but it it pales in comparison#to the fact i get paid 1200~ dollars every two weeks#and from that i have to put 600 toward rent and 300 toward groceries#then my bus pass is 112 dollars a month#and Then the various charges and fees i get from insurance and the bank and student loans#it's fucked! I'm fucked!#and i don't know what to do!#no one who pays more will hire me because I'm an experienceless educationless shlub#and i am a relative nobody within the online art world#who can't handle commissions#so like what!#so like w h a t!!#i give up 40+ hours of my week to busting my ass for this????#i'm furious! i'm enraged!! i'm scared!!! i'm fucking TIRED!!!!#i'm going to go Jump in the fucking River!!!#Fuck!!!!!
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'It's not too late to learn, Fenris'
#fenhawke#fenris#hawke#garrett hawke#dragon age 2#i can't believe i finished a comic#it's been six months#and i've been anxious every time i stared at the canvas of a 'new page'#this one's been on my mind since January#thumbnailed in Feb#FINALLY the AF gave me enough energy and selfesteem to actually draw it#LOOK#i never chose this option#not ever#not even during my first playthrough a decade ago when I only knew Hawke by the looks#but the angst in this prospect is so chef's kiss#not to mention Fenfen would rip/ghost phase through the veil himself to bring him back#sigh#i'm also delighted I managed to draw a silent comic about words u_u#so many experiments in this one#also bedhair Hawke siiiigh#dragon age#las!art
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WARNING 18+
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#ra speaks#it’s a silly joke/pun dw#we stay silly :3#edit:#woahg. that’s a lot of notes. hi everybody o/#10k. stop clenching your jaw and drink some water.#15k. eat some fresh fruit this week! I’m having kiwis tonight :]#20k. quit sitting like a shrimp it’s bad for your neck! sit up straight and do a little stretch every now and then#25k. I’m up at 2 AM but I’ll get to see the sunrise today :] if you can’t see that I hope you admire the sunset later today#30k. do something fun you haven’t done in a while. I haven’t drawn in months - I think I’ll paint a cat tomorrow :3#40k. I just slept 9 hours straight for the first time in weeks :] remember to ask for help when you need it! no glory in senseless suffering#50k. it’s been over a year since I made this post. I’ve grown and changed so much and I’m so happy I have. but. I stay silly :3#okay random edit bc PSA: don’t tell ppl to kill themselves! even as a joke in response to a silly pun!!! some of us are mentally ill!!!
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i think alphonse would still experience depersonalization and dysmorphia even after getting his body back
#alphonse elric#obviously hes glad about having it back#but there's this unease at the back of his mind#because hes been put into a new body that is drastically different from the one he was in for years for a second time#and that body isnt the one he lost. it had changed so much since he was 10 and i dont even think he could recognize himself for a while#i also think thats why he got the exact same haircut he had as a kid. to feel more like that younger and more familiar version of himself.#anyway i think he would still feel like he lost another part of himself by gaining everything back#even if he hated every second of being in that armor and even if all he ever wanted was to be normal again#he still spent 5 years in that body. long enough to begrudgingly become used to it#and for his body to change instantly into an unrecognizable version of himself#i dont think he had an easy time adjusting to being so different physically#even beyond the fact that he had to spend months/years physically recovering#oughhh its such a weird and complex feeling to miss something that made him miserable#just because that familiarity is more comforting than all of the pain and overstimulation of gaining his senses back#and being a completely different person physically#i also think hed have trouble sleeping for a while and start Thinking About Things He Shouldn't at night again#this is one of those things#fma#fullmetal alchemist#fma fanart#fmab fanart#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#fma art#fmab#fma brotherhood
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Also increasingly aware that a LOT of people "manage" getting through the 40+ hour work week by sleeping less than is healthy and relying on stimulants like coffee and energy drinks to keep them going.
For people who are unwilling or unable to do this...work really does just dominate your life. Like we really should not have to rely on unhealthy practices just to have a social life or keep on top of housework or whatever.
I know I post about this a lot but I'm so TIRED all the time and it's just so depressing that this is how we're expected to spend the one life we have.
#i have to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night to even barely function#with sleep#getting ready for work#commute#cooking#and errands#I typically have maybe 2-3 hours to actually do what i want in a day#and I'm usually too tired to actually do the things i want to do#and that's with a very short commute#if i actually had a long commute I'd basically do nothing but work#i see my friends like once every few weeks or months#because we're all so fucking busy with work and have such little time for socialising#and none of us even have kids or anything!!
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Price: It has 5 bedrooms, three bathrooms, full basement with laundry room, but it has room for making a couple more bedrooms and a bathroom.
Price: Was thinking of using this bedroom as a guest bedroom for now.
Price: The other bigger ones for the kids someday.
Price: An open kitchen, very big, a little bare for now.
Price: This is my office.
Price: This would be your space. You can do anything you want with it.
Price: A reading room, a gaming room, art room...
Y/N: What?
Price: In the back there's a greenhouse and a big garden. Do you like gardening or just having flowers around?
Price: I can arrange someone to come every so often to take care of the yard.
Y/N: Wait...
Price: Let me walk you through it, you'll love it.
Price: I can build a gazebo riiiight there. What do you think?
Y/N: John, enough.
Price: (tilts head confused)
Y/N: This is literally our first date.
Price: (shaking his head) None of that.
Price: What's your ring size?
#cod x reader#cod scenarios#john price#cod incorrect quotes#john price x reader#john price x fat reader#john price x plus size reader#this man locked in immediately when he saw you#he would 100%#bro even has a card with money for you to use every month#man's ready to put the house on your name too#and a child in you but whatever he'll wait
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don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers#sorry it's even scribblier than usual :') hopefully my chickenscratch is legible#anyway come here and join me in the corner where we go to be embarrassing about anime characters#just. between riddle and trey's dreams i've been thinking a lot about how#trey knew this kid for like two months when he was nine and then never really got over him or how their friendship ended#which. honestly. understandable given the circumstances#and then when they finally met again riddle acted like they'd never met before and neither he nor trey ever intended trey to be his vice#but every time riddle talks about his childhood post-incident it's basically#'oh yeah i constantly thought about trey and che'nya and fantasized about still being friends with them! this is fine and normal'#(there's a bit in one of his birthday cards where he talks about crossword puzzles and shit man that one got me)#idk. i can't put this into words very well#just...the implications that riddle was actively resisting trey's friendship#(presumably because it ended SUPER badly last time and he's learned that if he shows he wants something it gets taken away from him)#and trey had to work REALLY hard to just to get to the point they were at by the time canon starts#that was progress somehow#y'all can call him boring all you want but trey's defining feature really is that he keeps being like#'everything's fine :) this isn't a big deal :) i don't care that much'#(trey on the inside: THIS IS THE BIGGEST DEAL THAT I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT AND I WILL NEVER LET IT GO)#anyway i continue to be absolutely murdered by the timing of riddlepunzel directly after this#riddle's line about not wanting to keep standing in front of a door that's never going to open...#hey. hey silly gacha game about anime disney boys.#you are not actually allowed to do this to me#oh shit oh damn i'm out of tags and i haven't even talked about cater yet. NO BUT I HAVE LOTS OF FEELINGS THERE TOO --#(i am crushed under a falling safe looney tunes style)
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11/20
#big day for doomed yaoi enjoyers#(me)#i’m never ever doing this again i was screaming every minute coloring this i literally cannot do hard light#biggest case of “trust the process” i’ve ever experienced in my life#also i was gonna originally do a gun instead of knife to keep it canon but i quickly learned i can’t in fact draw guns#a knife is more symbolic anyway. stabbed in the back. yk#(trying to comfort myself that i can’t draw firearms even after eight years of art)#i remember playing this scene for the first time and actually breaking down at 2am bc that betrayal STUNG#i actually had no remorse for akechi after that 😭😭 i actually felt like a sadist for enjoying beating his ass in shidos palace#akechi as a character was specifically designed to make me go through all five stages of grief within a matter of minutes#absolute rollercoaster of emotions#ANYWAY IM FINALLY FREE TIME TO NOT DO ART FOR THE NEXT FOUR MONTHS 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼#persona 5 royal#persona 5#p5#p5r#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#goro akechi#akechi goro#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
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Prompt: Dick Grayson has worn all too many faces in his life. Richard Grayson, Richie Wayne, Robin, Nightwing, Batman, Renegade, Agent 37, the Gray Son, Crutches, Ric Grayson… the list goes on.
So when Nightwing is kidnapped and drugged via truth serum, and his kidnappers ask for his true identity, Dick responds with “I don’t know”.
This has consequences.
#dick grayson#richard grayson#batman#dcu#nightwing#dc comics#batfamily#batfam#fic prompt#some commentary on this:#dick’s relationship to his identity is so interesting even compared to his family/other siblings#because he has uniquely needed to commit to each and every one of them#like Bruce has his Matches persona#but in comics he only stays like that for a few hours or days at a time before switching it up#some of the boys have also had ops#but they’ve only had to stay in character for a long time (>1-2 months) like once#meanwhile dick has been long-term assuming identities his entire adult life#depending on the continuity you follow#he’s renegade for like 6 months#then crutches for a few months#then needs to become Batman and assume Bruce Wayne’s responsibilities#then immediately goes to Spyral for a YEAR plus#then immediately becomes Ric for another half year#that’s not even taking into account the switching of his hero personas or anything else#these are just ops he’s had to live#(willing or unwilling)#and when you consider this is all over a 4-5 year time span#he’s almost never Dick Grayson. there literally isn’t enough time.#how long has dick been able to be dick? he’s probably held some personas for longer than he’s been himself
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happy solvermas
#cause t. no actually if christ is the son of god and the solver is god then it'd be like uzimas#quick sketch i pulled out of my ass yesterday to see if i could get myself out of art block/burnout/whatever ive got going on#v was added after cause i had no idea how to work her into the scene#implied nuziv or something look man im just desperate about this ship#and i dont know how to draw fluff or whatever#im so bad at romance i dont know how to express it#but i've been desperately trying to draw nuziv for the past months#i think this is actually like some of my best linework yet im really satisfied with everything right now#been a long time since i've felt that#turns out the “stop overthinking every pixel of the expressions and just draw the approximation the audience will get the jist” approach wo#ks#something something n is the star of their life. tree light chrismtas#it is taking. All of my restraint right now#to not be So Mean to all of you#You Don't Even Know#I Could Do Something. I Might Still.#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#uzi doorman#murder drones n#serial designation n#murder drones v#serial designation v#murder drones cyn#i need liam to explain whether cyn and the solver are the same person already so i can tag them appropriately its driving me nuts#oh yeah cyn got a plush core to chew on by the way#the idea of giving her a chew toy was rolling around in my head and i think its a very funny visual so here we are
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[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]
Hitting a lil' too close to home?
#junie art post#ink sans#error sans#utmv#errorink#implied. but yea not the focus#this has been turning around in my mind for quite some time. im glad to finish it lmao idk if my ramblings make sense even.#so like listen. do you ever think about how similar the function of the utmv is to the dark worlds in deltarune.#in a meta narrative to fandom sense? idk the word#we are making exaggerated expanded worlds of the ordinary tools and entertainment of the real world and make it into something more#isnt that very very interesting?#and we explore every sort of possibility in that creation. both good and bad#and when all is said and done. every possibility found and the entertainment and secrets has all run out#we put it away. abandon and leave it behind#what is left? what happens to the world and characters we have created? can it sustain without us?#what of the ones left in the dark?#idk if yall saw me a few months ago but i reblogged comyet's old post of ink begging us not to leave him alone and to keep creating#yea that never left me#and seeing exactly THAT SCENARIO in deltarune made my brain iTCH#imagine an ink in King's position.... wait isnt that just underverse#mmmmmmm. darkner ink.....#also error is here too. not just for errorink or that i can't separate these two to save my life#but error is also one of the few people to be able to GET IT?? he can hear the creators too. ink cant#but hes pretty much programmed himself to avoid having a mental break down to this via reboot memory loss.#and ink has his own internal coping mechanism (hooray for short term memory loss)#these two idiots will do anything but confront truths lmfao#ahhh my favorite idiots. never change#mmmmm#deltarune
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MDZS AU where Jiang Cheng realizes that Lan Sizhui is the Wen orphan that Wei Wuxian took care off during the Burial Mounds arc, decides that's close enough to qualify him as Nephew, declares that no Nephew of His (much less a surrogate son of Wei Wuxian's) is going to be raised in the Cloud Recedes, and immediately launches into a custody battle with Lan Wangji.
But since neither Jiang Cheng or Lan Wangji can acknowledge that Sizuhi has any connection to Wei Wuxian, both begin steadfastly and stubbornly insisting that he is a Cultivator of peerless potential and skill and he belongs in their sect thank you very much, and would clearly be very unhappy in the other's. This confuses the hell out of the already mystified Cultivation world, who had barely adjusted yet to gossiping about Sizhui being Wangji's illegitimate child by mysterious love affair.
(Eventually the common consensus in the rumor mills is that both JC and LW where in love with Sizhui's mother and both believe themselves to be Sizhui's real father.)
(LW couldn't care less what gossips say, but JC has to bite his tongue till it bleeds to avoid telling anyone the truth in a fit of anger.)
(It was Nie Huaisang who put that rumor out in the first place, partly to troll JC, partly because, in a way, it's a little true.)
#MDZS#mo dao zu shi#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#the untamed#Jiang Cheng#lan wangji#lan sizhui#wei wuxian#Wangxian#nie huaisang#mdzs shitposting hour#thoughts that come to me in line for take out#in the end they settle on joint custody#half the year in the cloud receces half the year at lotus pier#but not after first re-litigating every point of contention in the 'wei wuxian should have come with ME' argument#poor sizhui is just confused and a little overwhelmed by the whole thing#being assigned nephew by Jiang Cheng is an honor and a horror at the same time#just ask Jin Ling#also he dosen't feel worthy of all this attention#but in a weird reverse self fulfilling prophecy sort of way#with both LW and JC to train him#he does end up one of the best cultivators of his generation#then WWX comes back and complicates things EVEN FURTHER#but somehow LS's joint custody situation is enough to prompt a Jiang Sibling reconciliation#and eventually LW begrudgingly agrees to live a few months out of the year at Lotus Pier#everyone is happy but the family dinners at first at awkwarddddddd
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waow… so animal crossing
#the hundred line last defense academy#the hundred line#thllda#eito aotsuki#takumi sumino#nozomi kirifuji#animal crossing#this was supposed to be smth quick. a warmup even. i forgot the animal crossing style requires rendering#<— cel-shading flat color warrior#ermine eito c: so cute!#he visits your island every month says the villagers ruin the beauty and asks if you want him to ‘convince’ any to leave!!#nozomi… the thinker…
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made the mistake of thinking about him, now having ailments (pain and suffering)
#my art#one piece#portgas d ace#ran into the issue of like. this is too stupid to upload on it's own#but nothing else I've been drawing looks good enough I'd want it added here... this ended up surprisingly ok........#IT'S STUPID BUT BABYGIRL OF ALL TIME I'M STILL SAD I STILL MISS HIM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM ALL AGAIN... FORBIDDING MYSELF FROM READING ONE PIECE BC I NEED TO DRAW MY ZELDA THINGS !!!!#also happy pride month to him....#I'm incapable of drawing smth For important times I get instantly blocked but listen everything I draw counts to me you feel......#it's not even rly pride month where I live but also every month is pride month anyway in my heart
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O sad to see that myths has been sunsetted. Are the pins also going to stop? Btw have you watched blood of Zeus?
no the pins are not going to stop
no, journey to the west is also not going to stop, it is a Legends Summarized, I have only sunsetted Miscellaneous Myths
the series is not necessarily permanently dead, but it is not currently happening because it stopped being a fun educational diversion for me and turned into a tedious monthly slog
the myths were extremely fun for me to make and research at a certain point in my life, but my focus has since shifted to a broader and deeper-scoped interest in the evolution of storytelling as a whole, making finding and summarizing individual tales without greater context or analysis increasingly unrewarding for me. there's a more in-depth analysis and explanation in the video.
this is also something that really stressed me out at the time because I was worried that by stopping this series I was letting down the people who'd gotten invested in it, which is honestly probably why it took me over a year to accept that I wasn't having any fun making them. they had been fun once, rewarding, energizing, and it really scared me to think I was outgrowing being able to make something so many people liked. I had no idea what would happen. I didn't know how much of our audience was only sticking around for the shortform snark about mythical doofs who died stupid.
that said, there hasn't been a new misc myth in eight months and apparently nobody who missed the announcement even noticed.
#asks#not aurora#look everyone is allowed to be disappointed but I already spent months beating myself up and revving my brain engine til it overheated#it took a lot of work before I was willing to unclench and let something end#and I thought I was cool with all of it by now because the response to the video was so supportive and lovely#and the channel's been doing a-ok even with the sunsetting#but it feels worth saying that every time I get an ''omg no it's over??'' message it's giving voice to exactly the fear that kept me#locked into the series long past the point I stopped getting anything out of making it
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the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.
#and that goes for every type of growth#backstory of this post:#after I came back after a few months of doing my international internship I felt so much more confident#it was easier making friends and walking up to people#i took more chances#and generally just heard it a lot from those around me who kept telling me how much i’d changed#this was further supported by my first office job that went pretty well#but then came my grad internship. and while i love the work and have met some great people I noticed it was difficult again#there was one office lunch where no one spoke to me at all! it was my first week and I didn’t know what to say#if i should even say anything#we were all sitting at the same table#not one person even glanced my way#it made me doubt myself; i was doing so well before#was that even real? why can’t I just speak up? this is not the way to connect with people#especially in my first week!#but you know what#i was still doing well. i just had to factor in the fact that these were all middle aged people talking about reality shows i didn’t watch#and bikes i knew nothing about#as well as people who knew i was the new intern yet didn’t speak to me at all even though I’d introduced myself to them all individually#and even so#people I couldn’t really talk to about MY interests outside of work either#my point being:#it’s okay to not feel a connection with everyone you meet#it’s okay to fall back into old habits even though you’ve developed new ones#it will never unravel the process you’ve made and the connections you’ve built#you’re doing fine#after this internship I will surround myself with people who reaffirm that belief#growth in the self#self love#positivity
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