#and previous iterations didn't capture them

[gludgenbell]

in one ear and out the other, cucumber-bro

[thankchaosforspellcheck]

Thinking about the "Rise!Mikey being a box turtle has serious effects on his ability to move to a new place after their lair is destroyed" setup and how it might be applicable to more iterations than rottmnt.

Like, we know 2003 & the 90s movies turtles moved house plenty of times (especially 2003. it seemed like they were getting a new lair every week sometimes) throughout their continuities.

Which makes sense! If your enemies have figured out where you live & all of your stuff gets wrecked in the process, the best course of action is to find a new place where that won't happen again (or at least take longer to happen than with the previous place).

And yet, time and time again, the 2012 and 1987 guys go back to the exact same lair and just. rebuild it. (or have it spawned back to normal by the next episode in 1987's case BUT STILL).

There are plenty of reasons for them to go back to the same place rather than find a new one, of course: emotional connection, it's logistically the easiest place to protect that they've found, the animators didn't want to learn how to draw a brand new place after who knows how many seasons of repetition, etc.

But there is so much potential in it being an instinct thing.

The shredder knows where you live.

The aliens actively hunting you down knows where you live.

Everyone you have ever faced has destroyed your home over and over again, using it to their advantage and capturing you all with little to no trouble because, again, they KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.

This could all be solved just by moving even a couple blocks over to a different sewer canal, but you can't.

You can't even conceptualize it.

Splinter brings it up one time and never again. He can't bring himself to cause those looks a second time.

So you clean up the mess, help Donnie set up new & improved traps and security systems, and pray that this time they're enough to keep them safe.

But they never are.

[hoardcloneheadcanons]

Stone & Robotnik's Gaggle of Robot Children P6

Stone needed to find a new way to view Dr. Jeffers, one that allowed him to be polite and gentle.

Think of him as a badnik, they weren’t perfect either when you first worked with them.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Robotnik is dead, Agent Stone is "captured" by G.U.N. and is still trying to build Metal and complete his boss' legacy.

On his quest to do so Stone gives the gangliest, saddest researcher he can find an actual spine.

It will come with a price, but Dr. Jeffers doesn't need to know that yet.

First Chapter

Previous Chapter

Ch 1: The Miserable Start of Kyle Jeffers

Kyle Jeffers liked watching birds, and deer, and dogs, and insects. He disappeared a lot into the woods as a child and his mother was fine with it as long as he returned before sundown.

When he was 8 he wanted to have bird wings and tried to make some for himself out of blankets and plywood before his mom took his jury-rigged construction away from him and herded him into the “animals and biology section” of the local library.

There, he learned that bird bones were hollow, and his were not, and even if he made perfect copies of bird wings for himself, it would not work, because he had the wrong density.

His mom tried to get him interested in paper airplanes after that, but he was so interested in the actual motion of the thing. He didn't want gliders; he wanted something that flapped.

So instead, he tried making a tiny bird toy, one out popsicle sticks, rubber bands glue, and a toy-car engine. And he created something that flapped, but not something that flew.

Frustrated, he switched to creating a copy of the family dog. Flying was hard, but he was certain he could do it perfectly with a dog.

And so with the same materials, he made a thing that walked on four legs. It did not walk like a dog, but it walked. Over the next year he obsessively watched his dog. He studied dog musculature and skeletons from the local library and tooled around with making fake joints with cue-tips and plywood And with each iteration the toy walked a little bit more like a dog. He made floppy ears for it, and a tongue that moved. He considered it finished when his mom looked at it and gave a quizzical but impressed “huh, well I’ll be�� at his tiny creation.

And when it was done, he tried to make a deer, then a cat, then a stink bug. He became obsessed with capturing motion in automata. When he remade his bird toy it flew.

He never stopped, he just got better materials, a more intimate understanding of biology, and less adult supervision when he used power tools. He won science fairs, and helped out with parade floats. He was a quiet kid, an odd one, but a nice one. And he never stopped hiking or loving nature. 

He got a bachelor degree in mechanics and life sciences, a masters in veterinary science, and finally a PHD in biomimicry.

He never really got the handle on public speaking. He was so attuned to being quiet in the woods, and calm for animals that speaking up never came naturally. He managed to get past his dissertation because the people on the review board liked him well enough and were certain enough of his research to go lightly on him. They took him out to a bar and drilled him on his dissertation on Pangolin-based body-armor while the alcohol allowed him to bypass his natural nervousness and stutter. They told him he would do well working on academic journals and data collection.

It was a gentlest way to tell him his public speaking still sucked.

It was after college, after his PHD, while he was applying to different research positions, when the incident happened.

Kyle was taking a break from the drudgery of applications by doing what he loved best, and walking in the woods. He was hidden under bushes, with some binoculars, excited to see a red-crested woodpecker or some interesting squirrels, when he witnessed the wrong deer, So named in his head, because it moved wrong. It picked up its legs too high, and the motion was out of order. Deer, in general, lift only one leg off the ground while shifting the weight on their other three. But this one would move its feet in diagonal pairs, more similar to a beetle than a deer. Then he saw two more deer, walking exactly like it.

He thought he’d discovered some new neurological disease, specific to deer, and he followed them. closer, taking pictures. But looking closer, he noticed that the hooves were almost iridescent, and their pupils were round instead of rectangular, and he grew even more excited, suspecting he’d discovered a new species of deer.

Then, one of the three deer opened its mouth impossibly wide, unhinging its jaw at a straight 180 degrees, and from the back of its throat a large insect head popped out.

Kyle was very lucky his fear caused him to freeze instead of scream. He stayed in those bushes, motionless, watching the creatures chitter to eachother, rezip the deer jaws, and walk away.

He called animal control, and the police got them to send a town warning to stay out of the woods, and then sent a research report about the new parasitic species he’d discovered. He did not sleep, and he did not go into the woods again for weeks. The longest he'd ever gone in his life.

Then the town warning stopped, and some nice government agents came to his door and informed him that what he witnessed was an not a new species, but an extra terrestrial scouting mission. They were very proud of him identifying the spies before more could be sent over and they assured him that they had already eliminated the threat.

(That didn't really matter, Kyle would see the fist-sized compound eyes in his dreams for the rest of his life.)

However this was not the kind of species that they wanted the global public knowing about. They were already burying the story and hiding his research paper.

He, as a witness was given three options: Have his memory wiped and possibly lose some of his memories of his doctoral program, be imprisoned, or accept a very strict employment contract.

 They’d seen his body armor research, they thought he had such promise.

Kyle had taken option 3. 

And at first they thought he had potential. He thought had potential. And it seemed like a sweet gig.

They were going to set him up with a job monitoring animals. It wouldn’t be outside, that wouldn’t have enough global coverage. Instead it would be from a series of computers monitoring data recorded by citizen scientists and social media. He could create bots and programs to compile data and scan for abnormalities. They gave new shiny lab, with a bunch of computer monitors for the task.

But that was just supposed to be his back-burner assignment, the thing he did while he was finding his footing. His main job was to come up with new cutting, edge military technology based on the animals he observed. More stuff like his body armor, He was to write up a proposal, submit it to a budgeting committee, and then they’d approve it, he’d get a team, and make cool new shit for them.

The problem is he never got that far.

Every idea and project proposal had been shot down.

Most didn’t even make it past the submission phase. The few that did were killed the moment he got in front of an audience, and they got to see his stutter, and hunched formed, and meandering points.

It didn’t help that the incident itself made him a more nervous person. His stutter was worse.

A year passed, and then another, and another, and then it was five years. And people stopped expecting things from him.

everyday all he had to look forward to was looking at screens, day in and day out, and waiting for the weekend when he could drive off base, to the park reservation two hours away and collapse in the woods.

He couldn’t wait until his thirty-year contract ended.

And it was in that dreaded fifth year of no expectations that he found note slid under his door that said:

Come to Dr. Keller's office tomorrow between the hours of 10 and 12 if you want any of your grant proposals to get approved."

He was sure if this was punishment for bad performance, or an offer of assistance, but either way he was a little insulted that he wasn’t worth the email.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Ch. 2 - Predatory, Active Species Need Enrichment

Dr. Keller had always judged people who bought dogs bred to run and run forever, when they knew for a fact that they didn't have the time to take them outside. She'd watched an old work colleague do so and was insanely frustrated when she saw the poor creature vibrate with pent-up energy and bite at its fur.

However, at the current moment she felt like one of them. 

 Stone was restless, every single part of him. There were times when he'd just sit in a chair at the far side of the lab, staring at the opposite wall while his leg jostled or his fingers tapped. Both of which he did completely silently.

He was driving her primary Agents insane. He was always in their space asking for new tasks, and he didn’t make noise when he moved, so he was just suddenly there, frequently startling all three of them.

It felt like they were going in inverse directions. As she slowly recovered from her years of overwork he seemed to be falling apart from stillness. She was certain the cell he was staying in during his office hours was making the situation worse. The best she could do was slide him more reference books and hope he didn’t explode.

The lab was sparkling, and alphabetized, every reference textbook he was handed was filled with neat tiny notes, and people were handed their tools before they asked for them, and the pastries he made kept getting more complex, and he looked a like he was going a little insane.

So was a little bit more lenient than either Agent Adelaid or Agent Franklin would like when he started asking about Dr. Jefffers.

He’d been in one of his “taskless, staring at a wall states” when she heard.

“Dr. Keller if it wouldn’t bother you too much, I’d like to ask about Lab 707.”

She jumped when he talked, she’d forgotten he was there.

It took her a moment for her brain to click out of the jolt and engage in the conversation.

“Yeah, I got a few minutes, what about it?”

“I am curious as to the reason there is a researcher’s name plate over a door that I was fairly certain was a utility closet last time I was here.”

“Oh- Dr. Jeffers, yeah- Uh.” How did she explain Dr. Jeffers? “A lot of his work is virtual, so he doesn’t need a lot of space, and he’s... new so he gets last pick on lab spaces. He got shuffled there when Dr. Myopic needed more space for his bacteria.”

“Not a great self-advocate?”

“No. “ An understatement. Jeffers gave off the disposition of a startled baby deer. “Honestly, he should have had mentorship upon coming here, but his hiring was sudden, and nobody had the time or space. And he said he was fine, that he needed some time to compose himself.”

“Would you mind if I attempted to help him?”

Keller felt like] she had a glimpse into what must’ve been in Stone’s quiet contemplation, a tiny smirk came to her lips.

“Am I not a dysfunctional enough scientist for you, Agent Stone?”

Behind her, Agent Franklin choked.

Stone's right eye twitched, and the tips of his ears got a little redder.

“It’s not that I don’t enjoy working with you, but I am used to scenarios with a little more- stimulation. This lab seems well and sorted, and his situation seems like more of a challenge. And maybe I’m hoping G.U.N will look a little more kindly on my sentencing if I can get one of their assets in order.” ” She looked to the side mulling it over, “If it were just up to me it would be an automatic yes, but I need to run it through Rockwell if I can get your tracker changed to allow you movement between more than one lab.”

“I'd appreciate that for the future, but It's unnecessary for today, I already asked him to come here tomorrow while you’re out at a progress check-in, but I'd appreciate it for the future, it'll probably make working with him easier."

The lab grew cold for a moment, and Keller’s eyes narrowed, “I’m going to let this go because you look very close to chewing off your own leg but never invite anyone else to my lab without clearing it with me first. Understood?"

He held up his hands defensively “Heard.”

“And don’t let it interrupt any of your tasks. I’m lending you out, not giving you up.”

“Absolutely not, I know who my primary scientist is.”  

__________________________________________________________

Later Agent Franklin pulled Dr. Keller aside.

"I urge you, strongly to wait on that request with Rockwell. Jeffers lab is so out of date that it is one of the few labs without security cameras or Agents. I know you like him, but can you at least wait until we get cameras installed before you let the security-threat move to the security weak-point."

"We're worried about him in a utility closet?"

"Alone? with a possible hostage that can't defend himself? Yes. I can think of three ways to kill Jeffers with computer parts right now."

"Fine. I'll put in a camera installation request first, it wasn't likely Rockwell was going to approve it anyway."

______________________________________________________________

Ch. 3. Venus Fly Traps Smell Like Nectar to Approaching Insects.

Kyle didn’t know what he expected from the scribbled note under the bottom of his door, but the man with a well-ironed suit, standing by a well-cleaned lab table with a dish of neatly-sliced quiche sittion on it was not it.

"Are you Dr. Keller?

" Oh no, she's away at a meeting right now. I’m Agent Stone. I've heard that you've been having trouble getting some of your projects through."

The name Agent Stone sounded familiar, but he couldn't place where, maybe he saw a character with a name like that in a movie?

From the side of the room Kyle Jeffers could see two agents keeping themselves busy working on an experimental engine, close enough to not quite give privacy.

"Do you want a quiche? I'm trying something new, I need more people testing them."

“Um-” the closet Kyle was staying in had one flicking overhead bulb and he usually left it off to prevent seizures. He relied on the light of the screens and a little desk-lamp he found. He was still blinking in the bright, overhead light of Dr. Keller’s sterile and spacious lab. 

“Uh-no on the quiche. Is this a disciplinary meeting?”

“Absolutely not.” The strange agent's smile was warm and Kyle wasn’t prepared to respond to it after not talking to people all day. He thinks he was supposed to move his face muscles to match it? The moment had probably passed, but the agent didn’t seem to mind and he kept going, "I think we’re in positions to help each other. I was wondering if you could do me a favor and gather some of your old proposals so we could review them together. See what we can polish on them.”

“What for?”

“Well- ideally to get them approved.”

“Did someone send you?”

“No.”

“Then why?”

“Well. You seem to be… stalled in your career, and it makes me deeply sad to watch and-”

The agent kicked his foot out from under his desk to reveal a blinking anklet.

“-I’m a little stuck myself, My last employer went AWOL on his contract, I got implicated in the incident and now I'm under house arrest here while still filling out my duties to the Agency. I would like more freedom.”

The agent rubbed his face, he looked visibly frustrated. “Keller’s doing what she can but Director Rockwell still insists on treating me like a threat. I’m hoping if I can help you move forward, they’ll see me as enough of an asset to give me some breathing room. Or if I do this right, you’ll get enough influence to pull some strings for me. So I help you move forward you help me get more freedom. Are we clear?”

“You’re hitching your ride to a hopeless case, but I can agree.”

Agent Stone’s smile seems to flicker, before returning to placid and calm.

“Fantastic! I look forward to working together.”

Stone reached out to shake his hand. 

“And word to the wise? There are already enough people here who will be looking to exploit your insecurities. You don't’ give them a full-flight path to them in self-deprecation.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Ch. 4: Baby Cuckoo Birds Pretend to Be the Children of Other Bird Species to Gain Resources

Kyle brought Stone his old reports, and Stone attacked them in red pen, with a viciousness that rivaled his bloodiest target eliminations.

Some of the problems with Kyle’s work seemed so evident and basic to Stone that it made it hard for him to want to snap in front of the young man. He had to scan and reprint the first few just so Dr. Jeffers didn't read his first round of red-inked insults.

“At this point in your career, how do you not understand the basics of the human attention span This is long, meandering and impractical. How are you so uniquely un-adapted to this environment? Who let your hiring go through? They need to be reported. You could have watched other presentations and read other reports and mimicked their style. How is it still this bad?” 

This was unproductive. This wouldn't work if he broke the kid so early, he needed him on his side. These were all words that he needed to be prepared to choke down his throat and shove back into his chest when he talked to Dr. Jeffers.

He needed to find a new way to view this, one that allowed him to be polite and gentle.

Think of him as a badnik, they weren’t perfect either when you first worked with them.

______________________________________________________________

The badniks had always been good at targeting and shooting, but they hadn’t always been good at being subtle.

Robotnik had designed them to be fully shielded; they didn’t need to hide. They could come in, in full force and blast whatever target was there.

But it was easier to eliminate multiple targets if you could take out a few without sending up the alarm.

He’d tried to explain this to Dr. Robotnik, who insisted the drones were fast and plentiful enough to compensate for their lack of stealth and had responded by saying.

“If you think you’re so good at it, show me. I’ve got a bunch of spies who took some proprietary information from me. Fetch it or kill them all. Actually, scratch that. Do both or never correct me on my drones again.”

He then ordered them not to follow their automatic drives, and set them to mimic Stone and follow his orders. He'd have to direct them bit by bit.

Stone remembered shushing the hovering eggs and gently herding them to where the brush was thickest, where the fog covered the area, or where the angle of the sunlight would get in the victim's eyes as they turned around. And then showing them, one small, silenced shot to the back of the head.

“Now you” he mouthed to the one closest to him

They mimicked diligently, and Stone managed to sneak in and get the blueprints before anyone realized that half their men were dead.

Robotnik got his proprietary information back, and he adjusted their programming so Stone remained registered as a head badnik that the others could update from. From that point on the had a combination of their automatic drive and mimicry.

Well I guess as government dogs go you are a nearly-perfect killing machine.

Stone bared his teeth at the compliment ripped from the jaws of the stubborn.

“Thank you, Doctor.”

______________________________________________________________

He let the memory reform his view of the writing, remembering the early badniks bursting through the bushes with reckless abandon, throwing power everywhere instead of focusing on one point.

He thought about it as he continued to mark out the presentations, going word by word.

Perfectly fixable.

………………………………………………………………………………………………...........

Ch. 5. The Stomach Acid of a Vulture has a Comparable PH to Hydrochloric Acid. They Practice Defensive Vomiting.

Kyle had responded to Stone’s summons by giving him all of his past work from the past five years. He was hoping it would delay Stone enough to give him time to figure out how he felt about the man.

It took Stone a day.

“You got through all of them?”

“Yes! I’m a fast reader, and it was engaging although a little-”

(Stone thought of the badniks using full powered blasts on a single victim “that’s noisy, you don’t have to waste your battery on that, one lower powered shot to the neck would do.”)

“-over-eager? Look for instance, this one right here. You had a project based on the corrosive properties of the stomach acid of vultures. And you said you could create a machine that mimicked it perfectly so that you could consistently and cheaply create that stomach acid to use as a rust remover or use as a weapon. Here’s my question- why did you recreate the entire system? Why not just the parts necessary for the corrosion?”

Kyle resisted saying the “Because then it wouldn’t be as cool” part and instead said “Well there’s nuanced variables and I wanted the system to be complete. And that would help us better understand vultures if we could fully mimic them from scratch.

“Right it would. And when you get an established reputation you might be able to ask for that. But this is a military facility, and they’re not going to fund research that’s pure academic curiosity. You have to have a use-case and you have to focus on it. If you pared this project down to just get the parts you’d need for the acid you could cut your budgets and timeline down easily and make it much more acceptable. Did no one tell you this?”

(Hold it back, Stone)

“They told me no one was interested in the digestive system of vultures, and that I was wasting their time. So I switched to other animals that sounded more militaristic.”

Stone had read through the clamps based on alligator jaws that required the entire head.

(Take a deep breath)

“The Agency isn’t always clear with it’s directions. They didn’t want different animals, they wanted a less thorough exploration of them, they wanted evidence that you would have a result on a shorter deadline.”

 But there are additional applications if we fully mapped out their stomachs! They eat bacteria filled meat all the time, there could be disinfecting applications if we research further, not to mention the propulsion capabilities.”

“But do you hear how that’s two additional projects? And it means a longer time for the agency before they get some results back on their investment. You were busy trying to justify why the animals were interesting instead of showing that you could make something based on your study. All of these are salvageable. Every single one. Pick one and cut the budget and timeline down as much as you can.

Pick the shiniest feature you can create, emphasize how it’s cheaper and more effective than what they’re using now, guesstimate a timeline based on similar projects, and then repeat what the shiniest feature is until it’s impossible for the reader to forget This is an easy fix. We’ll go over it when you’re done”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

It hurt Jeffers to adjust his proposals. Even if his hopes had been diminished over the years he had never stopped dreaming of being able to study a creature’s insides and create a perfect simulacrum. And he’d gone into depth each time describing why each part was fascinating.

Cutting it down to a simple focus felt like a baby's first project. It felt like cutting off his own limbs, making the entire thing stunted and small.

Surely, they were looking for more than this?

He looked at his own cramped office, filled with nothing but screens and shelves, and one hanging light-bulb with bad wiring.

Then again maybe not.

At a certain point he got spiteful, started scratching it down to its most basic parts. Until it was nothing but the barest essential practical's.

He could’ve done 5 projects based solely on vultures if it was just like this. It must be more efficient to loop all under one proposal. Surely that isn’t what they wanted?

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Ch. 6. Sea Turtles and Most Species of Snake, Abandon Their Eggs After Laying Them.

He handed it to Stone a week later.

“This is markedly better.”

“You’re kidding. Please, you have to be kidding. This is barely anything. This is injecting some chemicals into a vat with some microbes and calling it a day.”

“It isn’t. It’s based on knowledge you have in you expertise, but you’re too deeply in it to see it that way. You can make some figures to prove it’s better than our current metal treatment techniques, and how it can be made easily into a weapon. This would actually be good for making a body appear older than it is...” He said the last part as an afterthought, disappearing into some dark part of his mind.

That would haunt Kyle when he wasn’t distressed by the tragedy of lost possibility.

“But all of this technology already exists! And it’s based off of pre-established knowledge. It��s just taking things we already have and mashing it together. There’s so little discovery!”

Stone had his hands steepled in front of him. And Kyle could’ve sworn that he was repressing a smile.

“Well. Yes. Which makes your chance of success more certain for the people giving you funding. Don’t worry, they’ll likely complicate it, once they’ve accepted it.”

“How does that make sense? You just insisted I simplify it.”

“Because it’ll be changes, they ask for instead of the ones you want. They want it to be cheap and fast, but they will also want to add their own interests and addendums. The trick is to negotiate for more money every time they do.”

“No- I- that’s gotta be a special circumstance. They can’t want this. I’m a research scientist, this is technician work.”

Now Dr. Jeffers was certain that Stone was suppressing a laugh.

“You’re in Research and Development, heavy on the development. I’m going to mark out a few formatting errors. Submit it and see what happens. In the meantime, work on a few others, get them to the same level.”

Jeffers turned to leave, still wanting to protest. But assured that he’d be able to shove it in Stone’s face when he got rejected as it always did.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

It was in review.

They were asking him to present it in a week.

Dr. Jeffers felt high.

This was better. It was better than being locked in a closet, just reviewing screens for possible aberrations in animal behavior. There was hope of moving forward.

 But it was a project that he could finish in a couple of months. It wasn’t that exciting. It felt like he was shifting from boring to slightly less boring.

He’d found a dark tunnel out of his hole and now he wanted to know how long the dig would take.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

It was the first time he’d come into Dr. Keller’s lab without a note stuck to his door telling him the time to come in at a specific time. He found Stone, the other Agents, and a woman he didn't recognize, who he assumed was Dr. Keller, in the middle of welding together smaller parts onto the experimental engine he’d seen them work on for the entire time he was coming.

He waited in the corner until Agent Stone walked over to him.

“Jefffers, I didn’t expect you here today. Did your proposal make it through?”

“Yeah-actually, thanks. I didn’t expect it to work.” The reminder that this was intended to move him forward, made him feel guilty and ungrateful about asking the next question, but it was eating at him and he pushed the words out anyway,

“You said I could negotiate for more exciting work once I got more respect? How long do you think that will take?”

“Well- I don't actually know. My last boss was already established by the time I was working for him." Stone waited for a pause in the welding, "Keller?”

She lifted up her welding mask to look at the two. Jeffers shifted to put Stone in between them. The other scientists in the facility still intimidated him a touch.

“How long do you think it took you before you got to the point in your career where you could request a project that had a year’s deadline or more, and had more exploratory features rather than guaranteed ones?”

Keller squinted at Jeffers.

He seemed to be standing up just a little bit straighter, and she's not sure he'd ever asked another scientist a direct question before.

Keller rubbed her teeth with her tongue, thinking.

“You’re comparing apples to oranges there. Technically I got to a point like that the moment I started working for the agency, it’s why I joined. However that was 17 or 18 years into my career. Before that it was a lot of saying yes to whatever project was thrown my way and being part of a team that was under supervision by a more established project lead. A lot of designing the gear shift or break mechanism of the car rather than the entire vehicle. Even now- I get more project requests that someone else thought of, they just give me a lot of creative freedom to solve their problems. They still haven’t approved my mech suit design.”

She wiped the sweat from her head looked at Dr. Jeffers with pity.

“ But I’m not sure if any of that applies to you. I don’t think G.U.N has the established infrastructure to train someone new. I don't know what they were thinking when they hired you. They normally hire scientists established in their careers. I don’t know how your path will go. It could go faster because you’re essentially starting a new department from scratch, and have some freedom to play around or slower because you have no support.”

She watched Jeffers face get paler. She had tried to explain it to him gently but he did need to learn. 

Stone turned to look at Jeffers, “Does that answer your questi- oh you should sit back down, let me get you some water.”

,.............................................................................................................................

17 years.

And he had no mentors when he should have

Stone handed him an open water bottle and he stared at it blankly.

“I should’ve had my memory wiped. It would’ve taken me a year to relearn anything I lost, and then I could’ve taken a research position. They told me I was made for academic journals and obscure research when I did my dissertation. I wasn’t made for development. I’ve spent years wondering what I’ve been doing wrong and it turns out I was acting like I had a different job that the one I actually had.”

He was a circular peg trying to fit into a triangular hole and no one had told him.

“It’s not going to help you to focus on the past at this point. It’s time to focus on what’s left. When’s your presentation?”

“Next thursday.”

“Let’s focus on getting that in order. We can arrange some time for you and I to go over some practice questions, figure out how to fix your presentation style.”

Jeffers nodded, he was still staring into blank space, locked into the void.

(Stone remembered fixing the wiring of a badnik as it struggled to contract and expand it’s main optical aperture. It sparked under his gloved hands.

“I’m sorry my darling, we didn’t know they had armor piercing bullets. I’m going to get this fixed up and then your Dad’s going to figure out how to reinforce your shell, ok?”

He said it in Arabic, hoping no one would hear the softness with which he spoke to the badniks. As far as he knew, no one had, Robotnik had certainly never brought it up.)

He sighed

“Look if you really need exploration to function, you can send an email. To Director Granite of Warehouse F. I’ll see if I can get his contact info.”

“Warehouse F?”

“Yeah, F for failure- and that’s the politer phrase. It’s where all the decommissioned projects go. Ones that ran out of money or never accomplished their target goals. Things they don’t know what to do with. It’s just junk that they have no idea what to do with but hide for proprietary reasons. They’re overly ambitious puzzles that more experienced researchers failed to solve. Ask for one of them. It’ll give you something to explore while you wait for something bigger. It might even help you get more approval if a department head sees you showing initiative. I wouldn’t let it distract you from your primary work, but if you need something to puzzle through, it’s there.”

And suddenly, Jeffers felt like there was a small lamp in a long tunnel.

“Yeah, yeah I can do that.”

One main anxiety down, one to go.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Something bugged at Keller, and she brought it up Stone once she knew Kyle had left the room.

“Stone, answer me something.”

“Hm?”

“I only remember G.U.N. having one scientist with a biomimicry degree. So, be honest, Was Robotnik supposed to be the one to train Jeffers?”

Stone shrugged.

Internally, he may have remembered a ‘request for trainee form’ sliding across his desk around the time. Most of those requests, along with ‘additional agent requests’ slid off his desk and into the trash too fast for him to recall.

“It’s possible, but Jeffers came in around the Montana incident. At which the Agency cut ties with both of us.”

“So they hired him with the idea that there’d be someone to train him, and then couldn’t admit they’d messed up when there wasn’t.”

“Likely. It’s probably for the best. He wouldn’t have survived Dr. Robotnik.”

She thought of the way the kid hid behind Stone from her and gave a morbid chuckle.

“No, he wouldn’t.”

Her faced screwed up in irritation, and then rage.

"Jeffers has a degree in mechanics, right? Biomimicry in chemistry and mechanics?"

"Yes."

"Goddam it I was requesting extra-personal for years and he was right down the hall. I could have trained him. It would have solved two problems in one go."

She sighed and then fiddled with her blow torch.

"Excuse me for a minute while I set something small on fire."

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Ch. 7: Striped Hyenas are Born Blind and Helpless. They Do Not Develop Bone Crushing Jaw Strength Until They Are 3 Years Old.

Kyle sent the email to director Granite. It felt weird how many additional channels there were to get work and prove yourself. 

Nobody had told him anything except the basics, They expected so much out of him that he hadn’t been given guidance and then they let him fail.

Thank god for Stone.

He’d had to have a desperate criminal give him the option.

..........................................................................................................................

The next thing Stone told Dr. Jeffers to do, was make the most dumbed-down version of his presentations he could, and then write up a script for it.

Something basic that he felt like he could recite even if he was drowning.

He then requested that Jeffers present it to him, in the hallway while Stone stood in the doorway of Kellers lab.

When Jeffers brought up how hideously awkward that would feel with anyone being able to walk by. Stone claimed “That's the point, if you can present it in an inherently awkward way now, it'll make it easier for you to do it in front of a crowd later.”

It also gave them a modicum of privacy from Keller and her agents, who seemed to be calming down after several of Kyle's visits.

The process was simple.

Kyle would present for 15 minutes or until he broke. Then they would go over breathing techniques, or some way to refocus him and they'd do it again. It was easy. He was starting to get comfortable with Stone, and even if he was nervous, he could say it all if he was going slow and staring at the wall. He eventually got to the point where he could say it without. Stuttering. He knew all the words, it was easy.

He thought after that, that Stone would extend the time. He didn't.

Instead he started asking questions. The first few were soft balls, ones that just, allowed him to expand on a point that he knew the answer to. Then they got hard, questions he hadn't thought of. But then they got more annoying. More condescending. He'd ask him to repeat parts he'd already said, Ask him minute details that just didn't matter.

And Dr. Jeffers was tired of saying the same thing over and over and over again in an exposed hallway, holding print outs of his slides and he starting snap at him.

"That's a stupid an irrelevant question?! Yeah, it could dissolve a hinge if you got a few hours to spend on your B & E but may I suggest a screwdriver?"

"Good response. Good diction and energy, no stutter. Work on the anger. Learn to say the first part in your head. You can take a minute."

"I can't just tell them their question is stupid?"

"You? No. Keller? Maybe, but you don't have the reputation, established respect, or pile of blackmail for it. You'll get shot."

"Metaphorically?"

"Depends on who you insult."

____________________________________________________________

The worst session, by far, was when Stone stopped asking quesions.

Jeffers kept waiting for them to come, but instead Stone looked restless and bored and was looking the other way to check in on Keller's lab and then would switch to looking at his watch.

Kyle's vision started to flatten, and his heart rate picked up, and he couldn't form the next word of his sentence. It kept coming out wrong. And his chest hurt.

He knew it, this still wasn't going to work. It was all going to turn out the same for him, and when they kicked him out, the compound eyes would be waiting.

Stone stopped the timer, “Jeffers I'm going to need you to list three things in the room for me.”

“WE'RE IN A HALLWAY.”

“In the hallway then”

“Your stupid overly shiny shoes, the overhead lights that are giving me a headache and Dr. Kellers's name tag on the door.”

He felt his heartbeat go down as he was forced to pay attention to his surroundings.

“Now do you want to tell me what happened there?"

“They're not going to care. We're going to do all this and they're still not going to care. You can't even care. I mean- I know when it's you, it's an act to make a point, to help me practice but it won't be when I get up there.”

“... that's not necessarily true. A lot of them have the training I have. And breaking down someone's self esteem before negotiating with them, is part of that.”

Suddenly Jeffers wasnt struggling to breathe. He was momentarily distracted by anger.

“Say psyche right now.”

“ If they did accept your project, then they would be negotiating with you for how many details they can add without you adjusting the budget, hoping you'll do unrecorded hours to compensate. And that's easier if you're already... pliable. You're also just in a room filled with people used to being in charge.”

“I've not even able to show them what I have that's valuable because I'm so terrified that it sends me into stuttering fits. I can't even get to the negotiating table.”

“They find that an acceptable loss. They look down on weakness and a lack of presentation skills is that.”

“But- if that's true - they’re doing it so much that I can’t even show them what I have is useful, they’re destroying me before I even get to the negotiating table.”

“They are under the impression that, that is an acceptable loss. In their minds if you’re too weak to do a presentation, then your science isn’t worth looking at.”

“But my science is good. I was a good researcher before this. I was before they got me here and shoved me in a closet. They forgot to give me resources. I just suck at presenting. That doesn’t make my science faulty just because they can’t listen through a stutter.”

Jeffers felt like he was flailing as he said it. But it also sounded true. He was a good researcher. He was dedicated and had the most rigorous studies and was the best at keeping notes and finding sources, and diagnosing the errors in machines and identifying behavior patterns. He was good at this, and he felt like that fact had been beaten out of him.

There was a slight quirk to the corner of Stone's lips, so small. Repressed.

“I know. I didn’t say they were all that bright. They waste useful resources all the time. It’s what happens with a lot of money and a lack of oversight.

Something shifted in the register of Stone's shifted as he said it. The unmistakable tone of condescension as he talked about their employers.

Something in Jeffers’s brain was breaking. The thought that people might be intentionally tripping him up, intentionally getting in his way was infuriating. He’d been stuck in a closet for years, for a dick measuring contest.

“Dr. Jeffers?”

Kyle looked up.

"Are you ready to keep going?"

He half shook himself out of his rage trance.

"Yeah- yeah let's do this."

……………………………………………………...........................................................

Dr. Jeffers, had a new problem.

He could now say, the entire presentation fully, entirely without stutter, with confidence, with his full chest.

The thought of a room filled with idiots, who had actively screwed him over, and had coaxed him into an employment contract they weren't prepared for was- oddly relaxing? It was easier now that all the respect was gone.

He just couldn't say respond to questions anymore without at least one insult slipping out. Stone noticed, and they'd stopped and restarted on a different day, but the anger was still there, trying desperately to bubble out of his throat.

“Well yes, this project would be easy to scale up. You basically just need a larger vat. And I'd be happy to shove you in once you get one, so we could estimate the size and capacity."

It probably didn't help that Stone just thought it was funny. He had put in an effort to look disappointed on the beginning of the second day, but Jeffers caught Stone's shoulder's shaking in his peripheral when he thought Jeffers had his back turned.

"Are you still laughing at me?

He was audibly snickering now that he knew Jeffers was looking.

"I swear I used to be better at hiding this, I think I'm out of practice."

Stone looked exasperated and fond.

“This is really going to be a problem for you isn’t it? You’ve gotten a taste for it and you can’t stop.”

“It’s easier not to be scared when I’m angry.”

Strone considered, and then looked to the side at what Keller and her agents were doing and noticed that They were working with a large loud buzz saw and had hearing protection on.

“Look, I have a solution, but it's going to require you to ask a limited number of questions."

"Oh, actual super spy shit?"

"Yes. I'm going to find the guest list for your presentation. Then I'm going to find the person with the least amount of social status amongst their peers. Someone they won't mind being mocked, and I will give you a name. If you find them and confirm their name, you can rip into them once. Do you understand? It’s not my favorite solution, but I believe a controlled detonation is better than an unpredictable blast.”

Dr. Jeffers cocked his head to side. That sounded...practiced.

"Did you have to do this for your last boss?"

“Oh- him? Yes. Though he had the authority to have a few more names on his list.”

If Stone’s expression had been fond before, it could now melt sugar-cookies with its level of warmth as he looked into the past, into a memory that- based on the expression- must've been hazy and pink and filled with flowers.

“I used to get him a list of everyone in the room, maybe discounting one or two major sponsors, numbered in order from “least problematic to insult” to “most destructive to insult” and on a good day he’d only go through three or four and on a bad day I'd be lucky if there was three or four left. But he always went in order, every time. He had them memorized. Some of those lists had more than two hundred people on them. I think he was showing off. But that was just for meetings and conferences. Couldn’t do anything about him in the field though, then it was just whomever was closest.”

The loud buzz-saw Keller and her Agents were using sounded off and ripped him from the happy memory and the expression vanished.

“-and it was completely destructive to his reputation, and you should not mimic it."

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Jeffers learned that Stone very much liked his old boss. And that he wasn’t supposed to, which meant he was probably a traitor.

Jeffers did not feel loyal enough to G.U.N. to care.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Ch. 8: The Death's-Head Hawkmoth Can Mimic the Presentation and Smell of Bee Well Enough to Enter a Hive Without Harm.

Keller went to Jeffers Budget-hearing presentation as a walk-in. She had the time now.

She didn't feel the need to add anything, she was just there with her chai latte, observing.

Agent Franklin was still on her case about not trusting Stone, and she figured she'd keep tabs on his latest project to see how it was going, to see if he was actually helping Dr. Jeffers out or doing something secret behind their backs while using the kid as the justification.

If all went well, She was planning on bugging Rockwell about updating Jeffers lab to their current security standards and lengthening Stone's leash.

Based on everything she saw, yeah, he was.

Jeffers had maybe tripped-up word here and there, but the presentation was, well-timed, clear, engaging to follow. Which was a vast improvement over the last time she saw his presentation, which inspired in her second-hand embarrassment, and a desire to nap.

She wondered how many presentations Stone had helped Robotnik with- all of them? Stone seemed to be an adept communicator; it wouldn't surprise her.

That would make it hard for him to avoid learning technical skills though, being so close to the project proposal. A more paranoid voice in her head said.

She shrugged it off. Theory was different application. You could know what direction to turn a wrench and still hold it wrong. He'd probably take to it though if given half a chance.

Her musings were interrupted by a reedy voice asking if he knew the itemized pricing on the titration equipment.

Jeffers rattled off a rough estimation, at which point the voice asked if it was a fully researched budget or if he was just guessing.

She glanced over to the speaker. Ugh- Feldspar, one of the accountants who took a little too much pleasure in her job. She'd be at this for the next 20 minutes.

Keller glanced down at her phone screen. It was 11:57. Dang it she was hoping to have enough time to have lunch outside today, rather than ordering in and eating it in her lab.

Jeffers froze, for several long beats, Keller was worried that he'd lost whatever nerve he'd carefully built up. Then he squinted, reading a name-tag.

"Harmony Feldspar, right?"

(A memory itched at Keller, Dr. Robotnik on stage, crouched, squinting at a nametag before saying "So do you not have five braincells to clack together or are you deaf? Because I need an explanation for why you didn't hear me the first six times.")

"So do you have tunnel vision, or are you actually capable of seeing the other people around you? Because I cannot think of a drier topic than what every spoon and syringe costs. And as much as I want to watch everybody's head slowly drop to the table or try to claw the walls to escape as you satisfy your curiosity, then maybe we don't go down this line?"

Feldspar was squirming.

"This is unprofessional behavior- and it's perfectly reasonable way to gauge you research techniques."

"My entire presentation was a perfectly reasonable way to gauge my research techniques. Tell you what. I'll answer any question you have if you stand up here with me, look at your colleagues and tell them you don't care about their time. Ok Harmony?"

The kid wasn't blinking, and he was vibrating with rage.

Harmony Feldspar clicked her teeth shut.

"Any other questions?" No one spoke.

"Great! Presentation over, everyone get-out and have a nice day."

Oh.

Oh that was too familiar.

Maybe Keller could wait on asking Rockwell to extend Stone's leash. At least until she did a little extra digging.

...........................................................................................................................

Dr. Jeffers manages to act cold, calm and collected, all the way to his office, at which point, he closed the door and let his bones turn to soup as he collapsed on the floor.

The main accounting officer? That was the name Stone had given him?

His brain was flipping back and forth between blacking out and reviewing all the words he'd said to see just how much of an asshole he'd been.

He'd felt giddy, he felt sick. He felt like he'd finally succeeded for the first time in a while, and he was wondering the cost. He'd felt confident when he'd been speaking, but he'd also had the anger waiting to pop.

He'd memorized the seating chart because he'd been eager for it. Then when it happened it took everything in him to hold his cool and not apologize when the woman looked flabbergasted and afraid.

She was just doing her job.

"Part of her job was breaking you down." A voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Stone's said. "She had her teeth bared just as much as you did and she wouldn't have given you half the consideration you're giving now."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean it feels good."

He needed normalcy.

He logged on to the computer to do his normal, standard job of reviewing global animal behavior.

One email notification popped up, then two.

He skimmed through them.

Glad to see your presentation skills have improved. Excited to work with you. Can we meet to discuss details at lunch tomorrow?

He made a face.

"This place is weirdly fucked up."

............................................................................................................................

The next morning, Dr. Jeffers opened his office to see a white, spherical, object taking about 30% of his office floor. It had, what appeared to be a large powered off-eye, and not much else. He couldn't see any buttons or switches to turn it on or activate it, just slats where it could theoretically open up.

On top was placed one, yellow sticky note.

“Check Your E-mail, Director Granite."

"Oh, yeah Warehouse F" he thought, "I'd almost forgotten about that"

He did, staring at the unidentified object the entire time.

The email read as follows:

Hey kid, saw your presentation yesterday. Glad to see some initiative and some guts out of you finally. I got project tailor-designed for you.

We used to have a different scientist on staff who was interested in biomimicry and weapons, but he went absolutely insane and died and now nobody's been able to activate any of his drones. I figured your specialties aligning you might have additional insight. We’ve sent some files on what’s been tried so far. Whatever you do, don't try prying them open, they explode.

The guy went by Dr. Ivo Robotnik. I think G.U.N. got ahold of his old assistant, you might want to try asking him some questions.

Don’t get too distracted by this, we still need you on potential alien monitoring. Tell us if you find anything.

-Director Granite.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

[ladyirisreviews]

Final Fantasy 5 (GBA) - Review

Out of all classic Final Fantasy games, it breaks my heart that this one didn't get a 3D remake like 3 and 4 did. This is one of the best Final Fantasy games and if it had gotten that treatment it would be one of my favorite games ever.

The plot starts with one of our protagonists, Lenna, seeing her father, the king of the kingdom of Tycoon, off as he is heading for the wind crystal, one of many crystals that give the world life. He suspects something must be going on because the wind stopped blowing, and so, he flies away on his drake, but without realizing Lenna left the castle in an attempt to follow him.

Meanwhile, another of our protagonists, Bartz, who I renamed as Baldz, is riding along with his Chocobo, when he hears a very loud crash and goes to investigate.

He meets Lenna, who is unconscious in front of a meteorite, and even closer to it he finds an elderly man named Galuf, who appears to have lost his memory, and only seems to remember that he had the mission to check on the wind crystal, and Bartz decides to tag along with both him and Lenna.

With no clear path to the crystal, they go inside a cave, where they spot a pirate ship that seems fine despite no wind to sail with.

In an attempt to steal it the group gets captured by the pirate gang, they are then interrogated by their boss, Faris, who seems preoccupied by the pendant Lenna is wearing, which is the same as theirs.

After listening to what they have to say they agree to take them to the wind crystal, where they also join the party to see what's going on.

After finally arriving they see the crystal is in pieces, then they see what appears to be king Tycoon, who tells them they 4 are the chosen ones by the crystals, and that they must protect them.

And so the adventure starts.

If it weren't for the 3D Remake of Final Fantasy 4, this game would be the one with my favorite plot so far, but the enhanced dialogue of FF4 3D took its place, this is still a good plot for an RPG of its time though.

While relationships between characters are still kind of simple, they do interact a bit. There's also a lot to discover about each character. We might be lacking the cutscene direction from Final Fantasy 4 3D Remake, but it makes the most of what it has.

There are emotional moments that feel impactful and sequences of events that are quite gripping, and the music adds a lot to these scenes, it's incredible what they were able to manage with the limitations all things considered.

The interactions are still far too little and simple for my taste, but I do appreciate them existing at all, it's definitely a step above all of the previous games.

Other than that, this game has one of the best antagonistic characters from the whole series, and it isn't even the main villain, it's more of a henchman of the main villain.

Not only is he the centerpiece of one of the best sequences in the game, he clearly grows as a character and interacts with the main group a lot during the encounters you have with him, he is definitely more fun to see than the main villain in my opinion, and I am glad he periodically shows up for the rest of the game from the moment you encounter him for the first time.

And that's pretty much everything I'm willing to say about the plot, it was definitely a step in the right direction for the series.

Now moving to the gameplay, it is again an ATB battle system, and it behaves more or less like in Final Fantasy 4, character bars fill over time and when they get full you can act.

I love that the bars stop every time an animation plays, it makes it so much easier to plan your moves, and I feel like this is the best iteration of ATB in the whole series because of the rest of the mechanics it adds.

Outside of turn order the combat is the same, attack, item spells, you can multi-target spells, you know how it is.

What sets this game apart from the others is the Job system, and it's one of my favorites in the franchise.

After you arrive at the wind crystal, the crystal shards give you various jobs, and you are free to assign any job to any character you want.

But also, each class levels up with the AP you earn after combat, unlocking skills for each class, BUT ALSO you can assign an unlocked skill from any class a character has, so the character could be a monk who knows basic white magic, anything goes.

The default class, called freelancer, can equip 3 skills and is also able to equip all equipment types, normal classes are restricted on what they can wear.

The whole system is truly lovely, letting you build your characters from the start while also giving you more classes as you advance on the game is such a fun ride, and you can also create some nasty combos with it, I heavily recommend coming up with disgusting builds.

The dungeon design is more or less what you might already expect from the series at this point, but at least there's a handful of puzzles this time around, which is a step forward at least, I still wish there were more to the dungeons, but that's a recurring feeling in this series to me.

Having said that, this is still one of the most fun Final Fantasy games, the plot is engaging enough and it takes unexpected turns, the new job system is nothing short of amazing, and there are a lot of memorable setpieces.

Out of the first five, this would probably be my top pick for someone starting out.

I can only imagine what the team that 3 and 4 3D remake could have improved if they were able to do a 3D remake of this, I really hope it happens someday, a day when Square Enix decides to embrace old aesthetics without compromising the game, come on it would be cheaper to make than any other game they are releasing, but I can only dream.

Definitely try this game if you haven't already, I will be replaying it multiple times in the future and will keep on dreaming it gets a remake of some kind too.

[fideidefenswhore]

The Other Boleyn Girl (the Portman & Johansson movie)

well...let's just say i had in common what most historians reviewing the other tudor production peter morgan did (henry viii 2003), critique-wise....

that oblique critique dashed off; here we go:

eric bana as hviii...i mean, i don't know who i would've wanted instead, but this was not it.

i mean, this is kind of more attributable to the writing, but this was such a staid, somber, sullen henry (much like worsley's six wives doc, good casting, but bruh, was that personality ever not evident and he was a cardboard cutout)...not that that wasn't one of his dimensions, but he could also be giddy, life-loving, charismatic. frankly, even firebrand captured this better than tobg (altho, similar critique re: the SA scenes)

the henry percy arc was a mess. or, to be more specific, the henry percy arc thrown into relief with the other script choices was a mess (anne is actually crushing severely on hviii from the very start, and percy is her consolation prize, in the film, when it's usually the reverse, and like, i would be fine with this choice, it was at least something new and thus subversion of expectations re: the usual formula...if there wasn't that horrible SA scene with them placed around blackfriars to go with it). at turns, i'm not even sure why they used this source material as adaptation, if they were going to veer off it so severely, and the choices made here don't match the ones morgan made for his previous miniseries either (henry viii 2003, wherein she's deeply in love with percy, very genuinely frightened and wary of the king's pursuit, and has the memorable line of "as comfortable as prisons get" re: luxurious court accomodations circa 1525-6), which is weird...(considering in other places, like with the SA scene-- simply placed at different dates, but still in both-- and this exchange--he transposed excerpts of the previous script onto the new film script near, or total, verbatim...)

speaking of, actually, i think this would've just made a better miniseries, the structure of the novel would be more adaptable to that (i know it was, but like, one with a respectable budget, better casting, and six episodes, not three). there are so many scenes from tobg i would like to see adapted, it was long enough that it pretty much has an iteration of most of the ones in tudors (and sometimes, imo, better ones...like, i like the version of the scene where anne has her brat summer over catherine still making henry's shirts in the tobg novel > tudors' version, for example)

i didn't hate the relationship between norfolk and anne in this film, but i would've liked more time devoted to it and had it been more faithful to the novel, this dynamic where he's sort of (reluctantly) impressed by her... there's so few iterations with a relationship dynamic that's more of an alliance, with any affection, besides this novel i think the only other one that left an impression they even used to have an alliance or suggestion of affection was anne boleyn 2021

i have more, but, five items limit, so....tags

[los-ninos-tortugas]

I get what you are saying about the 2003 Turtles being too serious for the Scooby Doo crossover... HOWEVER! What if they are the straight men?

The Gang accept everything going on as PERFECTLY NORMAL, because to them, it is. But then you have the 2003 guys just completely perplexed and out of their league because WHAT THE HECK?? The dog talks, and everyone is fine with that. What the heck is going on with those doors? Why do Shaggy and Scooby's terrible disguises trick the bad guy every time? Heck, if you get the right version of the Gang, they would be fine with 5 foot talking turtles immediately with the weakest of explanations!

Raph hates all of it. Mikey immediately makes friends with Scooby and Shaggy and joins them in being terrified. Donny is spiralling. Those clues make no sense - how the heck did Velma figure it out?? That trap should not have worked - it didn't even obey the laws of physics!! WHY IS EVERY BAD GUYS' PLAN TO DRESS UP AS A MYTHICAL CREATURE??? Leo is flummoxed; he has no idea what is going on and no idea what to do about it. Also Fred keeps trying to get him to wear a matching ascot because they are both leaders and leaders wear ascots!!

WAIT OMG YOU’RE RIGHT 🤣🤣🤣🤣

It’s got mild Turtles Forever vibes where the 2003 turtles are utterly bemused by these stranger’s abilities to bend the laws of the physics. But I’m just imagining it now, Mikey being buds with shaggy and scooby, being scared and also making impossibly tall sandwiches together. (Maybe shaggy is low key convincing Mikey to become a vegetarian)

Donnie both admiring Velma’s intelligence and also wondering how she comes to half the conclusions she does and is correct nearly every time?? How does she do it???

Lmao even Raph deciding that this is above their pay grade but he keeps getting dragged along cuz they’re in too deep now. He keeps spotting trapdoors before Daphne does and keeps pulling her out of the way just in the knick of time and is like “how do you almost keep getting captured every few minutes!?”

Leo must just be wondering “why does Fred constantly suggest splitting up? Why does it work??” And also the image of Leo with his own little ascot… too cute.

Love the idea that maybe this is one of those versions of the mystery gang where they’re just kind of an amalgamation of all their previous iterations so they’ve seen both sides of the spectrum of mysteries having real human causes or having genuine supernatural causes, so mutant turtles in the sewers? Yeah, nothing compared to those soul stealing cat demon ladies.

[darthkvznblogs]

If Ares became aware of the previous iterations, like Hecate did, how would he react to the memory of his original/base (what would the right word be?) self being captured by Doom and Reed? Not well I imagine.

I think he would be enticed by the thought of personally getting to knock some mortal heads in a way the Olympians usually can't (his OG self didn't have that limitation), but yeah, for the most part he'd be furious. I wouldn't be surprised if he set his children on tracking down Victor and Reed so he can personally smite them (no one can accuse the god of war of learning his lesson, lol)

[aartformgames]

AAA - America Against Ants: A Development Retrospective

The journey of AAA - America Against Ants has been anything but conventional, spanning over a decade and transforming across multiple mediums before finding its current form. What began as a simple digital experiment has evolved into a rich, story-driven strategy experience that captures the B-movie charm of 1950s creature features while delivering engaging tactical gameplay.

From Industry to Independence: The Digital Genesis (2013)

After years working full-time in the games industry, I made the leap to freelancing in 2013, drawn by the freedom to pursue my own creative vision. Having been fascinated by the atomic age sci-fi films of the 1950s as a child, particularly the giant ant thriller "Them!", I decided to channel that inspiration into my first independent game project.

The original AAA was conceived as a sprite-based hybrid that blended tower defense mechanics with real-time strategy elements. Set around the nuclear testing facilities of 1950s America, players commanded US military forces against swarms of giant, mutant ants that threatened to overrun the Southwest.

I chose GameMaker as my development platform, but I had no previous coding experience. This attempt would ultimately prove a tad too ambitious. While the systems design and core concept came together relatively smoothly, the technical implementation was a sticking point. Complex targeting behaviour for the military units proved beyond my ability to solve, and I reluctantly shelved the digital version and moved on to other projects, though AAA was always lurking there, in the recesses of my imagination.

Analog Evolution: The Board Game Years (2017)

Four years later, the giant ants came skittering back. In 2017, I decided to explore AAA through a different medium, though one I had a lot of experience with: board games. This allowed me to focus on pure game design without the technical barriers that had stymied the digital version.

The board game iteration reimagined AAA as a cooperative experience for 1-4 players, emphasizing teamwork against a relentless insect swarm. The core mechanic was a modular map system constructed from randomly drawn tiles, ensuring that each playthrough presented unique tactical challenges. Players worked together to destroy ant nests positioned at the top of the board while preventing the spawning ants from reaching the bottom edge, where their presence would advance a terror meter toward inevitable defeat.

Through subsequent iterations, I introduced light story elements via a card system that brought three distinct characters to life. Professor Gillian Carter was the scientific backbone of the resistance, an entomologist whose research into pheromone-based weapons provided players with specialized tools to disrupt ant behavior. General Gordon McCoy represented military authority and strategic thinking, offering logistical support and battlefield coordination through his card effects. Perhaps most importantly, Johnny Henderson started as a farmhand who becomes an inspirational ground commander, embodying the everyday American thrust into extraordinary circumstances.

These character cards didn't just provide mechanical benefits; they formed a narrative thread that gave emotional weight to the tactical decisions. Players weren't just moving units around a board, they were experiencing a story of unlikely heroes rising to meet an impossible threat. The antagonist presence in the card deck was represented by "Old Queen" cards that introduced complications and setbacks, personifying the alien intelligence directing the ant swarms.

Digital Renaissance: Partnership and Polish (Present)

In early 2025, I connected with Aartform Games, who proposed we partner to develop a game together. Aartform is an indie developer with a proven track record in strategy titles and had the technical expertise I had lacked in my solo dev efforts.

This partnership has transformed AAA into something far more ambitious than either the original digital prototype or the board game could have achieved alone. The current video game version, now nearing public beta, significantly expands the scope across multiple environments throughout the American Southwest. Each location brings its own visual identity and tactical considerations, from sun-baked deserts to military facilities, towns, and ultimately Las Vegas.

The story-driven campaign structure ensures that each mission feels unique and purposeful, moving beyond repetitive scenarios to make for a more cinematic experience. Our three core characters have evolved alongside the medium, with Professor Carter, General McCoy, and now Lieutenant Johnny Henderson (elevated from farm hand to military officer) serving as narrative guides.

These characters introduce and sign-off each mission through briefings that establish context, stakes, and personality, transforming what could be dry tactical exercises into emotional investments. Players aren't just commanding anonymous units; they're following characters they've come to know and care about through increasingly desperate circumstances.

Anyways, sometimes the best path forward isn't the most direct one. The years spent away from digital development, developing AAA through board game mechanics, weren't a detour—they were essential research that revealed the heart of what made the concept compelling. Without that analog exploration, the current video game would lack the narrative heart that now defines it.

As we approach public beta, AAA has become something considerably greater than my vision for those early GameMaker sessions: a complete experience that honors its B-movie inspirations while delivering strategic depth and storytelling. The question is, will you be prepared to give the order for the nuclear option, should it come to that.

AAA is available to wishlist now on Steam: https://store.steampowered.com/app/3629860/America_Against_Ants/

- Mark Brendan

[vampthropologist]

AAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAA

Watching Deadpool and Wolverine making me fall in love with Logan again. I will always fall in love with Logan because his story gets me every time. Also Hugh Jackman is a great actor. Also I love him.

Okay. ok ok ok. So, I'm glad I watched every X-men movie (aside from Logan) before this, and I'm glad I watched it with my movie buff dad. I got all the extra context required.

Oh my god. I will get on with it. I went into this movie as blind as you can while seeing some fanart and reading the movie description.

Final warning before I get into it for real. There shall be spoilers but in a really messy way because this is all stream of thought writing.

The timeline mixing at the beginning was confusing. I disliked midlife crisis Deadpool. I prefer the choreographed fights compared to the CGI-heavy ones (which there seemed to be more of in this movie), but I love Logan so I can't be mad. Speaking of which, DEAR GOD UUGHHHH. Seeing the variants wasn't too big of a deal for me. I LOVE rock-bottom Logan. I LOVED seeing his arc. I am a SUCKER for it. He's different from the previous Logan because he's a guilt-ridden depressed and more of an ass for that, but dear god I love the character I love the arc and I love him. I did not care for him being shirtless. The fights and banter between him and Deadpool were really fun though! OUGHHGHHGHGHGHG!!!! I didn't care for Peter. I think Cassandra was a boring antagonist, too "I'm chaotic and childish and evil" for my taste. I've seen that archetype done in a more interesting way, plus she kept reminding me of the Ancient One / old Sorcerer Supreme. Laura and Blade and Gambit and everyone else were so fucking cool, though I was a bit hesitant towards the Gambit actor. I wish the subtitles actually captured his fucking dialogue. Seeing Toad and Mephisto was fun. I like "power of two" saving the world scene. Very friendship is magic of them. I hope the Paradox fucker loses his name and his job because such a cool name should not have been wasted on him. I was so fucking excited for Logan pulling on the mask!!!!!! SO FUCKING EXCITED!!!!! I wish his beard was more accurate though, since the mask covers his beard in other iterations. I didn't care about him going topless, though it was obviously a joke in the way they did it. Put a damn shirt on. AND WHEN HE DID AT THE END!!! Dogpool was cute also. Anyways THE ENDING!!! YIPPEEE!!!! EVERYONE HAPPY AND AT PEACE AND YAYAYAYAYAY!!! DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE MADE A CANON EVENT AND SAVED THE TIMELINE AND LOGAN FOUND A NEW HOME AND EVERYONE ELSE DID TOO AND THE RELATIONSHIP WAS SAVED AND YIPPEEEE YIPPEEEE YIPPEEE!!!! Also I love that the Captain America actor got to play something else again. I've only known him as Cap and I bet he had a lot of fun playing something else again for a change. Then again, I don't know what else he's in. I don't even know the actor's name.

YIPPEE YIPPEE I WAS IRL KICKING MY FEET AND GIGGLING FOR MINUTES AFTER THE MOVIE ENDED IN JOY!!!! (mostly because Logan being happy after finding a new found family and being domestic brings me so much fucking joy).

Okay I'm done. This was disorganized and might not make any sense but who cares. Initial thoughts yahooo!!! I am going to go to bed kicking my feet and giggling about Logan again. Goodnight. :3

[venalier]

these training simulations are becoming more and more like the real thing. the cold, benthic depths of the monster's lair last time, and now the beating, dry sun of the desert steppe. dagger-like rocks dig even through the soles of her boots as she runs, gritty sand threatening to stick to the insides of nose and throat with every labored breath. and this heat, baking under a cloudless and unimpeded sky, threatens to play tricks on the eye.

"there!" the camp just ahead, she announces to her teammates. and inside it somewhere, rafal. "let's find him and get him out of there!"

already, they've been spotted; there's no cover in this featureless dune of cracked soil except the tents these bandits can hide behind. because what else could they be, to capture someone innocent? —simulation or not.

PSYCHOPOMP activates! 2 → SRENG WARRIOR 9/10, CAELDORI 9/10.

she fights off a strange dizziness that's been leaning on the edges of her mind since arriving here, not having had time to decide if it was the setting, the heat and brightness, or something else. in fact, though she'd come into this tournament at first with determination, it'd quickly put that very confidence to the test, seating her with the bound weight of a tome in her arm and not the comfort of steel and sharpened blades. but ugh, it wouldn't be the first time — she recalls the wind spell that'd been briefly assigned to her in one of the previous iterations, and . . . well, she'd made it work, hadn't she?

regardless, there isn't any time at all left for uncertainty when they reach the camp's perimeter, launching into its heart. shouts and cries ringing out around them — angry men surging their way.

caeldori grits her teeth, ducking around the wild swing of the first man and pausing, head swiveling back and forth. where are they holding rafal? hastily-searching eyes flick from one erected structure to the next. and then, sensing a threat at her back, she swerves, breaking finally into a sprint to outflank her pursuer. she can't just stay in one place and think — she'll just have to — go from tent to tent and find him.

"... st you will know what to do."

huh? didn't that sound like—

without stopping, she veers toward the voice, calling out when she catches the telltale striking colors, tall form, white head: "rafal!" any surprise that he wasn't being kept further in is discarded as she races up to the enclosure ( which is exactly what it is, she realizes; myriad other cages are scattered around this pit, the rest of them open and uninhabited. but even in an illusion, that's still not encouraging. ), reaching instinctively for where a spear would be before remembering she already holds the weapon she'd have to make do with.

it's fire magic, right? "hold still—"

( ZEALOTRY activates! ) CAELDORI hits JULIA with SEA FIRE. ( 14 ) JULIA 7.5/10, inflicted with BURNED. JULIA counters with SERAPHIM. ( 11 ) CAELDORI 6/10. POISON STRIKE activates → JULIA 6.5/10.

she thinks she knows what mages must feel now, the instant before their spell goes awry.

a collision, sudden and stupefying, sending her staggering backwards and coughing the sense of burning smoke from heaving lungs, processing the angry sting across her arms and front. what in the dragons just—? then she catches sight of lilac hair and delicate features pressed in pain, embers catching on clothes, and dread strikes caeldori like a lance. no, she couldn't have— where did julia— had she been following just behind her?

mouth opens to apologize, try to help; but at that moment a rending shriek fills the sky overhead, resounding off the distant outcrops. and the arrival of something massive blankets them in shadow.

◜  ₊  —  𝓡  ˚  ₊ 𝐍𝐎 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐒; team 15, bronze round.

[ammocharis]

Bizarre bits of outdated Dragon Age lore

So there's this old guidebook for Dragon Age: Origins made by Prima Games. It was published around the same time as the base game. The guide contains some... very curious bits of lore. They can found mainly in the "Traveler's Guide" section, which was included in the Collector's Edition of the book. So it's not only an old piece of Dragon Age media, but also somewhat rare, and as a result these bits of lore aren't mentioned a lot in the fandom, especially nowadays. When you compare them to other sources, it's clear that they're outdated, and in fact, they were already so at the moment of release. My best guess is that the people responsible for putting together the guide received the materials in advance, but they weren't told about subsequent changes in the lore that happened during development. Consequently, the guide offers a peek into the previous iterations of the lore that didn't make it into the canon.

For example, here's what the guide has to say about the power struggle that followed Andraste's death:

1050 TE (-165 Ancient): The Alamarri tribes begin a long series of internal wars as various powerful banns step up to attempt to replace Maferath, starting with Andral, the supposed son of Andraste. Andral manages to unite Ferelden briefly before it is proven that he is not Andraste's son and the union falls apart. Several more "sons" of Andraste step forward, each fracturing the valley into bitter feuds. Andraste's ashes are recovered from the Imperium by her disciples and interred at the Silver Temple in Highever; however, after several attempts by the sons to take them by force to lend credence to their claim, her ashes are secretly moved to an unknown location and are lost.

What a doozy! That's markedly different from what's shown in the established lore - that Andraste had three adopted sons (born from Maferath's concubine, Gilivhan): Isorath, Evrion, and Verald; as well as two biological daughters: Vivial and Ebris. The lands conquered by Andraste&Maferath's army were divided between the three sons while Maferath ruled the Fereldan Valley until his betrayal of Andraste came to light. Isorath, Evrion, and Verald didn't manage to hold their respective territories for long, and the grand Alamarri union fell apart. However, there were no "false sons" of Andraste popping everywhere, as the Prima Guide claims. I can see how this early idea morphed into what we've actually got, with the adopted sons and the conflicts that arose in the territories they ruled. Moreover, in the current version of the lore, Andraste's ashes were brought by Havard directly to the Frostback Mountains, without the stop at Highever's temple.

981 TE (-234 Ancient): Andraste is born a peasant commoner in the village of Luighdor (today part of the city known as Denerim), on the eastern coast of Ferelden. She is captured by Tevinter forces at a young age and becomes a slave.

Looks like name "Luighdor" got scrapped, now it's just said that Andraste was born in a fishing village that later became Denerim, and the original name doesn't appear anywhere. Another detail is that Andraste was a daughter of an Alamarri chieftain, not a simple peasant, but that could be part of the disparaging accounts of Andraste's life, which is baked into the lore. Even in the current iteration, the stories about Andraste differ a lot from codex to codex, especially around her enslavement. Some say that she was kidnapped as a child, other imply that she was already married to Maferath.

1020 TE: A massive horde of barbarians cross the Waking Sea from the south led by the warlord Maferath and Andraste, the Betrothed of the Maker. Some records claim the barbarians were driven north by the darkspawn, others that Andraste was bringing freedom to the people of the Imperium who had been long oppressed by the depravities of the magisters.

This part about the darkspawn didn't appear anymore, probably because it made little sense. The First Blight has already been ended for a while at that point, so why would darkspawn stragglerd suddenly drive the Alamarri north if they hadn't done so during the actual Blight. In fact, the north of Thedas was were the darkspawn horde caused the most damage.

1024 TE (-191 Ancient): The Archon declared a truce, while Maferath allowed his wife to be captured by Imperial agents and subsequently publicly burned to death in front of a large crowd at the Proving Grounds in Minrathous.

I'm kind of curious why Proving Grounds were supposed to be the place of Andraste's execution, was that just because it's a large open space, or did the dwarves from the Ambassadoria somehow helped with bringing her to the capital? Anyway, that got changed, Canticle of Apotheosis says that Andraste's pyre was built near the entrance of Minrathous, at the feet of the Juggernauts that guard the gates.

Alright, let's give Andraste some rest and move onto other areas of the lore.

2:10 Glory: The grandson of Hafter, Teyrn Caedmon, seeks to raise himself above the other teyrns. He declares himself king of the Fereldan people and officially establishes the presence of the Andrastian Chantry in Denerim. A civil war erupts to oppose him, and while he has great success at first, his downfall occurs when he commits too much of his power toward the Exalted March of the Dales in the west. In the end, the great Battle of Valmorn Hills results in Caedmon's death. Three more claimants to the title of king emerge, including Caedmon's son, Talemal, but all suffer quick ends as the civil war consumes the land. No more attempts to claim the king's title are made, though the various teyrns struggle for dominance during a long period known as the War of Crowns, named for the sudden rise of the various teyrns adorning themselves with royal crowns even if they did not call themselves kings. Centuries later, King Calenhad rounded up these crowns and destroyed them, though legend says some are still hidden away.

Everything besides the italicized parts seems to have been axed, and oh my, it would've been so wild if they kept all of that. An Alamarri king who brought the Chantry into Ferelden ages before Calenhad? He even got involved into the Exalted March against the Dales? Looks like they gave that role over to Kordillus Drakon II. Oh, and imagine the hidden away crowns of the Alamarri being discoverd by someone ages later. What if the Warden was able to dig one up and give it to the person they supported as Fereldan monarch?

Every nobleman appointed his arbiter. A bann had men who resolved the disputes on his land while a teyrn did the same. This led to inevitable disagreements as arbiters conflicted each other based on the rank of whom they served as well as the differing laws in each land. King Vortigeyrn in 4:85 Black reformed this system by decreeing that "every man had the right to be heard by the king." After that point, all arbiters represented the king and the king's law only. This did not go over well with the Fereldan nobles, especially in the Bannorn, and it was not until the various lords were given the power to collectively determine the king's law in the Landsmeet that this was deemed acceptable practice throughout Ferelden.

This guy got thrown into a hole, never to emerge, it seems. He would've reigned before Calenhad's unification, so not entire Ferelden population answered to him, though this excerpt make it sound like it did. I imagine this is why he got erased. He’s named after a 5th century warlord in Britain.

Seldom was anything accomplished, as the idea of giving up personal independence for the common good is not truly a Fereldan trait, but sometimes overriding concerns brought action: for example, in the Landsmeet, the banns fought against the occupation of the Imperium, repelled the werewolves during the Black Age, and elected to follow Maferath and Andraste into history. Since the time of King Vortigeyrn, the Landsmeet has become a more official body as well as a legislative one.

Apparently, these historic decision were made at the Landsmeet. The sources that reference the Landsmeet don't provide these examples, from what I recall. Vortigeyrn's involvement doesn't fit the current lore, but the other could still be true.

3:10—3:25 Towers: Toth is awoken and the Third Blight begins. Cormac plays a major role as he journeys north and fights alongside the Marchers against the darkspawn hordes, dying in the final fight, the Battle of Hunter Fell.

Hmm, this one is interesting because Cormac isn't mentioned in connection to the Third Blight any longer. He's the legendary Alamarri hero who, according to some, repelled a Chasind invasion led by Flemeth and her daughters. (Though Genitivi notes that the timeline doesn't line up, and Morrigan claims Cormac led a civil war against his own people.) If Cormac's role in the Third Blight remained in the lore, would he be eventually identified as the person who killed the Archdemon? Even now, the Hero of the Third Blight is a mystery, the only known thing is that they used a blade which was later reforged into three daggers dubbed Thorns of the Dead Gods.

Legends also claim that a race of half-shape-shifters called "ferals" descend from that time, living quietly among humanity or withdrawing deep into the wilds (depending on the legend).

Sorry, what are half-shape-shifters? :P Shape-shifters who can change only half their body into animal? Or maybe they succeed just half the time they attempt shifting.

8:99 Blessed: The previous several years have seen two dragon flights ranging out of the Frostback and Orkney Mountains, even though it was thought that dragons had been hunted to extinction by Nevarran dragon hunters during the Steel Age.

The Orkney Mountains, a rugged chain of mountains that stretches from the icy wastelands of the southeast deep into the continent's center, dominate the southern lands of Thedas.

That got me a bit puzzled because the Orkneys aren't marked on any of the maps, and if they were as massive as they describe here, at least a portion of them should've been labelled somewhere. Strangely, the Orkney Mountains did make it into "Codex entry: Geography of Thedas" that appeared in Dragon Age, but the version of this codex entry featured in the Prima Guide doesn't mention them. All in all, it looks like someone forgot to update stuff when they changed this geographical detail.

9:20 Dragon: The young Empress Celene of Orlais makes her historic visit to Denerim, putting aside decades of strife and resentment to sign a peace treaty. This officially ends the long war between the two nations.

I don't think Celene's visit to Denerim in 9:20 is referenced in the current version of the lore. Ferelden and Orlais did certainly sign a peace treaty after her ascension to the throne, and Celene has exchanged letters with Cailan, so there's that. The devs said that in the original plot of DAO, Celene would've arrived in Denerim to meet up with King Cailan. If that plotline was kept, Celene's previous visit to Denerim ten years prior likely would've been brought up.

The Donark Forest marks its northern border and is a rain forest of tall trees and uncivilized freemen who have notoriously evaded control by their southern cousins.

I suppose existence of these freemen could still be true, but the way the Donarks are presented now, no humans seem to live there. But the jungles are largely unexplored, so maybe some folks do indeed thrive beyond the borders of known Thedas.

Now they have been part of the Qunari culture and Qun philosophy for so long that they could not even imagine going back. For their part, the Qunari treat Par Vollen as their homeland. Contact with their original homeland was intermittent at best across the turbulent Northern Ocean before it finally ceased altogether two centuries ago. Several ships have been sent home to restore contact, but they have not returned.

Excuse me, what? Qunari were once envisioned to have had contact with their homeland after they landed in Thedas? They tried to restore it but no one returned? What's happening in the Qunari homeland, BioWare pls tell me.

The Crows are almost omnipresent in their own nation and are known to appear elsewhere, all identifiable by their unique tattoos (a tradition taken from the Rivaini; some Crows display their tattoos proudly, while others keep them hidden).

From what I could hear in Zevran's dialogue, this detail about Crow tattoos possibly being inspired by Rivaini tradition doesn't come up. In a banter with Leliana, he says they're sacred and that he cannot talk about their meaning, and that's all I believe. Will the topic resurface in DA4? I suppose the Crow markings could originate from some Rivaini ritual. Tattoos are said to be popular among the people of Rivain, much more than in other cultures of Thedas. Antiva has some ties to Rivain, they're close geographically, and the two nations were brought close together when Asha Subira Bahadur, a Rivaini princess, became Queen Asha Campana of Antiva. I think giving Crow tattoos Rivaini roots would be pretty neat actually.

1200 TE (-2415 Ancient): The tribes of people known as the "Alamarri" cross the Frostback Mountains and settle in the lands that would become the country of Ferelden some 3,000 years later. What drives the Alamarri across the mountains is not known, but the oldest tribal legends mention evil forces belonging to the "Shadow Goddess," a being whose proper name was never invoked by Alamarri scribes lest her gaze fall upon them. Some modern scholars suggest that the Alamarri likely fled a great natural disaster—a flood caused by a large earthquake appears the most likely cause, according to hints in the old tales, though there are several tribes with stories that directly contradict this theory and instead point toward some form of enemy invasion. Regardless, the Alamarri crossed the mountains from the west and spread quickly across the Fereldan valley.

This particular story stayed mostly the same, except the ommission of the flood theory. I do wonder why it wasn't mentioned in the current version of the lore, the timeline just says that it could've been a disaster without suggesting what it could be. Before looking into the Prima Guide I had theorized that the natural disaster was an eruption of a large volcano that forced the Alamarri to flee across the mountains, mainly because the "shadow" part of the "Shadow Goddess" made me wonder what events that could cause prominent shadows, and that brought ash clouds to my mind. Now I suppose "shadow" was simply meant to invoke hardships that the Alamarri went through because of the earthquake and the flood.

These are the differences that caught my attention when reading the Prima Guide. There are some more details here and there which stray from established lore, but I think I the ones I listed are the most significant. I'm curious what other might think about these differences. Do you think some elements should've been kept? Which changes were for the better and which made things worse?

[melishade]

Hello.

I feel bad for Megatron in the timeline with Elite One. Megs must be currently consumed by guilt

Previous Episode of the Beloved Timeline

That and he's 100% sure she is going to fucking kill him.

There is a reason she is a high ranking Autobot in the first place. Sure, Elita was a social butterfly, but she is extremely clever and a down right menace. According to the Covenant of Primus, she helped conspire to overthrow the Quintessons and helped with colonial expansion of Cybertron. I also like other iterations of her being a badass fighter. I like to picture that she took down 50 Decepticons by herself as she tried to escape before Megatron had to intervene and subdue her himself. And the reason why she was in her situation in the first place was because of Megatron, so the minute Elita sees Megatron again, those Kill Bill sirens are going off. Megatron is doing everything he possibly can to avoid her.

But we'll deal with that later.

For now, after Optimus has to answer those questions from the Survey Corps, dodging as many inappropriate ones as he can. Historia and Ymir decide to make their demands while everyone else is here and announce that surprise moment of Historia wanting to marry Ymir. Ymir agrees and they do the wedding in secret. Hanji adds to Optimus that he can invite Elita as his plus one. Optimus is a little irritated at the notion, because he knows for a fact some of the Survey Corps are going to be treating him differently for a little while. But the thought of spending time with Elita again does make him feel happy.

He does return to her and being to explain what is happening with Historia and Ymir, which Elita is confused by because being sparkbonded is a private matter. But Optimus has to explain that there are differences in human culture and Cybertron. Optimus explains the logistics of it and Elita respectfully declines. Elita explains that she would probably just hog all the attention. She does remember when she was last here and the commotion she caused. Also, she hasn't exactly talked to anyone in 20 years, so her social skills are practically shot. And the humans look dangerously similar to the titans and it's not something she's comfortable with. She only feels easy around Optimus because of familiarity.

Optimus is slightly disappointed, but respects her decision none the less. He's just happy that she's back, and tells her to take the time that she needs. Elita does ask about the difference between the humans and titans and ultimately what has been going on with him and Megatron since being on this world. Optimus decides to explain it piece by piece as to not overwhelm her in one go, because learning this shit himself has definitely taken its toll.

"How is it that bad that you're fazed by it?" Elita questioned.

So, day by day, in preparation for the wedding, Optimus helps out there and later explains what's been going on. And the more information she receives, the more mortified that she is. Like this is some messed up shit!!!! But it's fine. It's fine! Totally fine!

"Elita, you do not have to-!"

"It's completely fine, Optimus!" Elita forced a smile, "Not only is my beloved forced to fight again, this world is more backwards than I thought!"

The Survey Corps are disappointed that Elita won't be attending the wedding, and they try to capture sneak peeks at her, because some of them didn't get a good look at her. Eren was really the only one. Hanji is very persistent, and Elita swears she can feel eyes burning into her back. But they do notice that since Elita has been around, Optimus' mood has significantly improved. Like he is definitely more sociable and talkative, and she's not even around!

Day of the wedding, Optimus bids her farewell, and Elita...decides to take a look around this place. This is the most relaxed that she's been in ages. She still hasn't seen Megatron yet. She wants to kick his ass. As she's walking around, she does mind her step and avoid the humans, but they do notice her and can't help but stare. They are aware that people like Optimus don't eat humans, but to see a titan in the walls walking around without a single alarm going off and a shot being fired is odd.

Elita is curious about the top of the walls. She's always wanted to know what was up there. Elita took few steps back, got into a starting position and bolted towards the wall. She managed to jump up and get some good distance before climbing it with ease and little damage. When she reached the top, she could hear cheering and clapping and looked down to see the humans that had been following her just praising her. Elita can only wave sheepishly before walking along the top of the wall and taking in the view from so high up. And it was breathtaking.

As she's walking along the walls, she comes across military men in uniforms with roses on them. They are a little tense when they see her, and Elita is just as tense, but Commander Pixis greets her to ease the tension (with Anka and Gustav keeping a very close eye on him). The two talk and Elita does learn more about the humans in the wall through the Commander. With what Elita knows; however, there is one burning question she has in her spark:

"Do you intend to continue the ways of your ancestors?" Elita demanded.

Pixis paused and looked up at her.

"I understand that your memories have been wiped of this knowledge, and you have only now just learned about it. I also understand that the sins of your ancestors should not reflect the innocent here and now," Elita explained, "But knowledge is power, and power can corrupt. Optimus has the habit of seeing the good and potential in everything, willing to grant opportunities for change."

Elita raised a servo to her spark. "Despite how I feel about Optimus, it is not a principle I can always agree with in such strenuous times. I need to know if Optimus' faith in you is well placed and you will not default to the carnage of your ancestors."

Pixis noticed the rather emotional look in Elita's optics at the name of Optimus, and how fond it looked. And suddenly, everything clicked. Why Optimus was in such a better mood, why the Survey Corps have been acting rather mischievous, why Megatron wasn't even here right now and avoid this place like the plague.

"I see," Pixis smiled before looking on ahead, "I wish I could speak on behalf of all who live within these walls, but we humans are fickle beings. Self preservation and greed is in our nature. When pushed to the brink of annihilations, there are those who would tear each other apart to survive, and those who choose to fight for those who cannot. Personally, I would like to continue fighting for a better and peaceful and free world. Only for the sole reason that my comrades who fought for that same dream, did not die in vain."

Elita is quite moved by the answer and laughs. "Well, at the very least, your answer is an honest one."

Elita thanks Pixis before jumping off the wall and landing on her feet with grace before returning to her temporary home. Pixis can only say 'well done Optimus' to himself.

The next day, Elita decides to introduce herself to the Survey Corps, thinking it would be best way to go considering she's decided to stay and help. And the Survey Corps couldn't help but notice the way Optimus beamed at the sight of Elita.

Side note: Anka threatened Pixis when Optimus informed them about Elita and she immediately pulled him aside.

"If you so much as look at her wrong I will castrate you and throw you over the walls, you drunken bastard," Anka seethed.

"Eh, not the worst way I've imagined going out," Pixis shrugged.

(Interactions between Elita and the Survey Corps will definitely be for the next ask)

[briannas-casebook]

INTRODUCTION TO THE MAKING OF: CHARACTER DESIGN FROM PROMPTS.

As mentioned in a previous post, as part of my homework for the Introduction to 'Making Of' class, I was tasked with designing a character based on one of four prompts:

ninja cat

independent robot

emotional demon

insect warrior

I was drawn most to the "Insect warrior" prompt as I have previously done work on the anatomical components of insects for past projects. So I started by drawing various different types of insect faces and bodies. I knew I didn't want a character based on a praying mantis, as I felt using an insect best known for its fighting and prey-hunting abilities would be too predictable and cliched for an insect warrior character. A good example in pop culture is Master Mantis from the Kung Fu Panda franchise. I also wasn't drawn to the bee and dragonfly faces as they were too similar to a mantis head and I didn't want to evoke that for reasons stated previously. I drew one face that I did like; the upper middle face which I based loosely on crickets and katydid (large horned grasshopper native to North America) faces. There was something about the unique rectangular shape of the head and the particular intense look of katydid eyes and their tiny "pupils". So I decided to roll with the idea of a character based on a grasshopper.

I first just focused on the anatomy and proportions of the character, creating several iterations with slight differences until I was satisfied with the body. Although I did make the character upright walking, I also kept some insectoid traits like the extra pair of arms and had the "knees" of the character's legs which bend backward instead of forward to reflect the anatomy of grasshopper legs in real life.

I also modified the final body to have longer legs than the previous iteration as I wanted the proportions of the character to be less uniform. I also felt their height could give them a more imposing silhouette to add to the warrior aura I wanted to capture. Along with this, I modified the position of their second pair of arms to be tucked behind the back, as this would allow them to be used to protect the warrior from behind thus adding another asset to a warriors toolbox. I took some inspiration for this pose from the way the Skeksis in the Dark Crystal have a similar second pair of small arms hidden behind their backs.

To make sure I stayed consistent with my character's proportions when moving on to costume design, I used my light box to trace over the drawings I made on the previous page.

As I was designing a chracter based on crickets, I thought about the real life biology of the insects and how I could use that as inspiration for what kind of warrior specifically they'd be. I remembered the fun fact that crickets or grasshoppers are usually solitary creatures, and when a group of them forms, rubbing against each other causes a chemical change in the grasshoppers, turning them into swarming, crop-devouring creatures called locusts. I thought about how this would impact an alien species with similar anatomy and biology to grasshoppers and how this would affect their society. Perhaps this character, and by extension, the rest of their species would avoid physical contact with themselves or others - As should they touch, it would cause them to transform into ravenous monsters. If this were the case, I decided it would be fitting to make this character a long-range warrior or fighter such as, for instance, a lone sniper. so I went with this idea.

When designing the costume, I drew on a number of references and influences. I first used images of real-life sniper uniforms. experimenting with drawing the character in the different uniforms and their pieces to see what would work.

I also drew on fictional inspirations such as the character Ana from the videogame Overwatch (especially the concept art for her wasteland alternative skin) and the female characters of Mad Max, Fury Road. I wanted to convey that sense of the lone, nomadic, and stoic yet meditative warrior. I also focused on how much the clothes covered the body. As the character could not physically touch others, it would make sense for them to cover as much of their body as possible to avoid any chance of physical contact.

Eventually, I combined some of the elements I liked from each uniform, such as the real-life sniper hood, the knee pads from Ana's wasteland skin (with the round part of the kneepads on the back of the legs and not the front to accommodate the backward bending legs), Ana's coat and bulletproof vest, and the goggles from Mad Max's Furosia.

I will be creating a dedicated character sheet for this character to not only tweak their physical appearance but also to flesh out their backstory and personality as part of the character design brief. This has so far been my favorite exercise of my classes overall, as I'm genuinely proud of the character I've been able to come up with thus far through the character design process.

[spydertrans]

man, it's so interesting (re)rewatching Rise. there are so many new details that i'm able to catch now.

like, in the first episode, Leo flat out says that he banters mid-battle to cope. watching the show for the first time, i didn't think much of it, but watching it for a third, you can tell that he wasn't lying. it really shows in the movie - first after Raph is captured by the Krang and they're in the subway tunnels, looking for him. even when he's trying to be serious, he can't help but quip to try and lighten the mood a little ("Feeling a lack of rush in this rush hour, right?").

then again, during his showdown with Krang One. his fear is obvious as he looks down at the city from way up on the Technodrome, and when he turns around to face Krang One, right before he slips into his persona, mocking the Krang's, "surprise," from earlier in a goofy voice.

and again, after he's sealed both him and Krang One away in the prison dimension, despite being beat up, despite the fact that he thought that he would never see his loved ones again, he teases him ("You've been portal chopped.").

another not heart-wrenching detail i've noticed is how, from the beginning, it's been hinted at that Leo was destined to become the leader of the team. more often than not, he's the one coming up with a plan even if it doesn't always work, leading them into action, telling them what to do/how to act, hyping them up whenever they get down on themselves, and the "face man" of the team - even though all of that should technically be Raph's job.

in the final episode of Season 2, when Splinter declared Leo to be the new leader, i thought he did that as a half-joke, half-callback to previous iterations where Leo had been the leader from the start. but no, it's clear now that it was neither of those.

although Raph, as the, quote, "biggest brother, the brother who is the biggest" was their leader for who knows how long (seemingly, since they were elementary school age), he was never actually very good at it. Leo, however, once he learns to take things seriously and listen to his teammates, is an excellent leader.

[transgirl-gaming-thoughts]

Breath of the Wild: Great Standalone Title, Bad Zelda Game

Unpopular opinion: Breath of the Wild really disappointed me. Don't get me wrong, I love Breath of the Wild! I'm even going for 100% on it! I enjoyed my time in the latest iteration of Hyrule, and played the entire Expansion Pass. It's a top-tier game, deserving of its Metacritic score of 97.

...but it would be downright untruthful to say I wasn't disappointed by it in a lot of ways. Everyone knows by this point that Breath of the Wild really broke the mold in a lot of ways for the Zelda franchise. There's always been a certain aspect of open-world exploration in Zelda games, all the way back to the very first game from 1986. However, Breath of the Wild is 100% fully open-world, allowing you to go anywhere and do anything from the very start (at your own risk, of course). This format for the game has lead to a lot of things I loved, and conversely things I hated.

Warning: The following may contain spoilers for The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and other games in the Zelda series

First of all, it granted a sense of freedom. Being able to do absolutely anything at all in any direction from Central Hyrule was absolutely incredible. There were so many things to do and places to go, I had no idea where to start! I loved being able to unlock new parts of the map. It reminded me a lot of The Wind Waker's sea chart. Being able to challenge the main "dungeons", the Divine Beasts, in any order allowed me to customize the game progression to my own strategy.

However, this brings us to my first issue: dungeons. In previous Zelda titles, dungeons have not only introduced new challenges to the player while giving them new pieces of equipment, but they've also added to the depth of the lore and the atmosphere of Hryule. I remember the first time I entered Deepwood Shrine in The Minish Cap, or Ganon's Tower in A Link to the Past. Dungeons were always these unique locations that marked a milestone in your quest, and inspired a certain sense of awe and wonder when you stepped inside. In Breath of the Wild, they didn't have traditional dungeons. The Divine Beasts are the closest thing you find, and there's only four of them. If you measure the length of a Zelda game by the number of dungeons, Breath of the Wild just might be the shortest game in the series. The Shiekah Shrines scattered across Hyrule offer mini-dungeons almost, but they're even shorter than the Divine Beasts. Most of Breath of the Wild's content comes from the shrines, side-quests, and overall optional content, as opposed to the actual main quest. Regardless of the length of the game's main quest, the puzzles themselves are pretty hit-or-miss. Some of them are extremely easy, and some are so difficult they require a YouTube tutorial. Why isn't there an in-between? In previous titles, I always felt like the game started easier so you could get the hang of it, and then got progressively more difficult. Breath of the Wild doesn't feel like it does this, and I think it suffers from that.

Something else I liked was the concept of this version of Hyrule. The developers perfectly captured the "soft apocalypse" vibe. It's not harsh and violent like the Fallout series. There's a certain peacefulness about the landscape, and it's quite relaxing most of the time. The atmosphere, the soundtrack, the art-style; it all coalesced into a fantastic experience.

On the other hand, I was severely disappointed by the story. Breath of the Wild officially unified the three Zelda timelines (maybe I'll write on that in the future), and it accordingly features references to all three timelines. However, this didn't result in a deep, impactful story that took advantage of the entire series up to this point. Rather, the story was incredibly bland and basic. Zelda is sealing Ganon in Hyrule Castle. Go stop him. ... That's literally it. The lost memories quest with Impa is optional, freeing the Divine Beasts is optional, even claiming the Master Sword is optional, all of it is optional. This might offer the freedom to play your own way, but this also means that the story has to be stripped down to its core so as to be relevant to any of the many play styles available. This concept definitely worked better on paper. I can't speak for everyone, but I know that I don't want to sacrifice story for freedom. That's not a fair trade-off in my book.

Additionally, every single Zelda game up to this point built onto the lore in some way, shape, or form. Skyward Sword established the origin of the Master Sword and the cycle of reincarnation. Ocarina of Time split the timeline and explained all the different universes. Every game offered something new that built onto the expanded Zelda universe in a meaningful way, and allowed us to watch the timeline grow into a beautiful world where everyone was able to love something entirely different, and still be able to connect with other Zelda fans.

With Breath of the Wild, and this is partially a result of the basic story, but there was no meaningful building on the timeline beyond disregarding 20 years of lore in favor of everything being destroyed anyway and unifying under this newest Hyrule. I've had conversations with friends who've only ever played Breath of the Wild, and I actually find myself having to explain most of the lore to them before we can actually have a conversation. Breath of the Wild introduced little to no new lore that has any impact on the Zelda universe as we know it, and hardly reiterated any of the previously introduced lore. I found it hard to engage in the exploration of Hyrule or pay attention when I talked to NPCs, because there was never anything meaningful. I found it hard to become immersed in a Zelda game that only felt remotely like a Zelda game.

Now, I'm by no means saying this is a bad game. I enjoyed all 205 hours I've spent on it. However, I never truly felt like I was playing a Zelda game. It felt like I was playing an open-world indie game, that maybe had some Zelda references in it. When I'm in the mood to play a Zelda game, Breath of the Wild never even crosses my mind. I think if Breath of the Wild were released as a stand-alone title, with it's own world and story, but maybe retained some crossover content from Zelda, I'd be happier. As it stands, it makes me feel disappointed and even a little sad to think of it as a Zelda game, because it was such a weak entry in the series. I love the art, the music, the controls, the mechanics, everything about this game... but it's such a weak Zelda title.

Thinking about the future of the Zelda franchise, especially knowing that they're developing a sequel to Breath of the Wild, I can't help but feel concerned. If things continue going the way they are, and the "formula" for Zelda games changes entirely, then I probably won't say I'm a Zelda fan anymore. I'll still love the old games, but I won't be able to say I enjoy or follow the franchise as a whole, because that style of game is not why I was roped into the series, and it's not why I love the world of Zelda. I came for games like The Minish Cap, or The Wind Waker, or Skyward Sword. I play Breath of the Wild because I want to play Breath of the Wild, not because I want to play a Zelda game. I hope Nintendo will recognize the fact that different players are after different things, and hopefully do more remakes like Link's Awakening on Switch. I'd personally love to see the 3D titles like Ocarina of Time remade on the Breath of the Wild engine for more immersive combat. Bottom line, I hope Zelda doesn't 100% go for this new style. I think that would stray just far enough from their roots that we the fans would loose a big series that we've been able to depend on for games we'll enjoy. Let's all hope and pray that wherever the series goes, we'll all find something to enjoy from the amazing world of Hyrule. May the way of the hero lead to the Triforce, and may the goddess smile upon us!

Thanks for reading another post! I want to emphasize that these are just my thoughts and opinions, not facts or predictions. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me! For now, have fun, stay hydrated, do what you love, and God bless!

~Alex