#and rationing stuff before that
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second life tip in 24 hours: pls do not drift by lunch esp if u have mental health struggles as is, you will suffer the quencies severely T^T
#i ran out of food in the house fhfjdkl bc i did not get groceries last week#so I've been scavenging the last couple days#and rationing stuff before that#and man. I shan't say more but. yeah. the quencies.#sifting thru many articles and studies abt covid also did not help my well-being but i needed to to send to my mother fjfjdl#she finally asked me to show sources when i said some stuff abt how every infection and reinfection heightens ur risk for MORE reinfection#so i had to go thru my stockpile and find some updated stuff to prove that she needs to continue to mask#and anyways fhffjdksl that took a definite hit on my brain for tonight. SIGH#i smile and nod along w so much bullshit but i could not keep my mouth shut on that one#rgrhrhrhh. holding myself back from ranting any more abt any other stuff going on. sigh.#lets just say... i am very tired fjfkdl this is no way to exist but alas!!! it is the cards I must play with !!!#im going to hopefully be able to work on art tonight fingers crossed fjdkdl i Need it fndmkl#vent //#dandy.cmd
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Sorry guys, wafer on the brain, it's terminal u.u
Anyway, I'll elaborate on this in the tags bc omg I'm going to yap your metaphorical ear off.
#SO during the whole “affogato almost takes over the citadel situation” dark cacao cookie [whom i will refer to as DC for my health]#dc basically took all the cookies that were hunting/fishing/patrolling the surrounding lands for food and stuff to make them work#on fortifying the wall#therefore two things happened 1] the cookies who still were hunting for food literally couldn't keep up with the apatites of cookies who#were working super fucking hard on the wall and 2] all the farming imports from the villages near by stopped almost entirely because#it was too dangerous to import their goods or get anything from the citadel [like tools] so they had to keep what they could for themselves#so effectively a famine was starting#and so cookies started eating things they probably shouldn't like deer crackers and wolf treats#looking at you Caramel and crunchy chip#caramel just never fully kicked the habit because it was what she had alot of and she would trade her rations for them with the villages#crunchy chip just allways did that tho. he's just like that#Dc on the other hand grew up in those lands before there was real communication between villages or a citadel to depend on for rations#so famine was common and rough. eatting bark and leaves were common place in his home so while he does eat jellys he never kicked the#craving for tree bark#on the plus side hes got a crazy strong stomach and can eat just about anything#whereas chocolate wafer is from a small village near the hollyberry kingdom so they have allways had an abundance of fruits and juice to#snack on. they managed to convince dc to add dried berrys to their imported goods list and now they are considerd a sweet treat#idk how to put this in kinda organically so ill just say the dc kingdom is a place that depends on imported goods heavily#things like precious metals and food usually comes from the hollyberry kingdom [and gc before her isolation]#in return dc kingdom provides military support and has the best medicine in all of earthbread. All the best doctors studied there#anywho im dome rambling sorry for whoever gets jumpscared thinking this was gunna be short#also if you notice my art suddenly being colored and stuff its because im trying to open coms soon! i want to nail my coloring before then!#^^ if you read all that. wow! have a candy!🍬#dreamy talks#[🧋]#chocolate wafer cookie
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yay to the ol' ~let's run away together~ and a somber nod to the gritty realism of an open-secret relationship between hans and henry that will perennially leave jitka as the rejected wife-- but enough of that for a second. i've been to both clubs and i know all the songs!
the funniest and by far most compelling option for fanfic exploration TO ME is that jitka simply arrives with a personal handmaid who follows her everywhere. that's it.
she corrects everyone who calls her a servant to "my job is to tend to my Lady and ensure my Lady's safety", and always claims to be, idk, something like a poison expert and master embroider in the same breath -- but she never further elaborates, making anybody who'll deign to listen terrified to wonder just what exactly she is capable of doing.
naturally, Henry "Isterik Truther" of Skalitz is the first one to go 🤔 but it doesn't take long for all four of them to be squinting at each other two by two. they are all correct in their assumptions.
rosa loves visiting because she wouldn't miss the chance to be around other smart and willful women in a place where female independence of thought is valued. katherine is likely the wariest of the few in the know for a world of reasons but comes around as soon as she realizes this is two women who feel just as alienated as her in their own way.
and hans and jitka both agree to have a child for the sake of peace -- but then they realize they've gotten this far anyway, so... which is how the four of them band together with a selected few from henry and hans's ragtag team of people to fake a pregnancy in the longest-running and craziest con any of them's ever run. zizka does not dare compare it to the italian court heist because he fully believes this is crazier.
bozhena gets involved because someone trusted has to "deliver" the "baby", which is definitely not some child she relieved some other, slightly older child of (with her knowledge, so henry can get his beauty sleep at night).
at this point it's not even 'cause jitka and hans having to have a child would be that much of an imposition, it's just that this is far more in the realm of the kind of insane schemes all these people get into.
sam is really confused how he figures in all this at first but eventually he gets involved on priciple. "aww, 'cause of henry~!" yes sure but he also decides the whole thing is an incredibly funny way to stick it to a cruel world and he should do more of that in his free time.
i just know godwin has to run so much background interference he's coming out of it looking 10 years older. it is still most definitely the early 1400s and not everyone of the allies who end up knowing is necessary unfazed by the hansry of it all, even among those trusted enough for hans and henry to lower their guards, but godwin is officially the first one not to give a shit -- nor be especially surprised -- that hans and henry are now smooching.
i have 20/10 vision on this it's a whole thing
#zizka's definitely the other one who doesn't give a shit straight away#i don't even know that he's straight/completely inexperienced for that matter#he's giving whatever tom hardy was giving when he said ''i'm an actor of course i've had gay sex''#rosa would be my other bet for people who don't give a shit. she'd rationalize that henry didn't respond to her advances because#his heart was already someone else's and go on to not especially care that the other person in question is a guy#she's read about this all before anyway#katherine would def be interesting because she feels very alienated but she's also hostile towards stuff that makes#her chosen group and now henry more vulnerable. which to her equals *herself* being more vulnerable/in danger#so i can totally see her being one of the people who ends up knowing but needing more time to come around#anyway i gotta stop because i have headcanons for who is in the know and how each of them reacts but i'm digressing#hansry#kcd#kcd2
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love that nobody can function without echo in the empire era. the batch keeps losing the ship, barely manage to finish their missions, and entirely forgo strategy. and then on the other hand, rex pre-echo-joining-the-rebellion was living in an abandoned garage with one singular tiny ship. then shortly after echo joins they have a whole base with like twenty troopers and real doors and actual food and a ship actually designed for long distance travel.
#star wars#tbb#the bad batch#tbb s3#tbb echo#tbb rex#captain rex#redbean talks#i feel like gregor has also been instrumental in the clone rebels learning life skills#from the sound of it he had to teach everyone to cook and feed themselves#(what was rex eating before?? bar food and rations apparently)#and then even in rebels gregor seems to be the one doing the food management and housekeeping stuff#he probably had to show rex and wolffe how to do taxes and pay rent#he's the only one with any actual experience at living outside the gar#(and even then he was pretty bad at it on abafar? but that can be excused because amnesia and brain injury)
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SNIFFING DAT MAN GOALS HAVE FINALLY BEEN ACHIEVED, ( excuse winter date kara staring into your soul. )
#ya'll.... it smells so good you don't understand....#first perfume to actually make me understand what top middle & last notes mean#it smells really similar to cool water for women and arrogant by english laundry...#which is really funny bc i used to wear both of those perfumes 😭#i really love fragrances so i feel like i'd get into collecting them as a hobby if they weren't so damn expensive#... i say as i'm willing to import merch of this damn muppet man#anyways i used rinkya as a proxy for this one specifically bc they're able to import stuff that's alcohol-based#my usual proxy can't do that so this sight was a god send#also i finally started to set up one of my nerd shelfs so winter date kara is free from his plastic bag now#i'm rationing this shit like it's the last bottle of potable water on the planet#especially since i know a good dupe#i could probably get a similar smell by layering those two fragrances i mentioned before#osmt#karamatsu#merch#mj rambles
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Literally maybe nothing worse than realizing the dmc1 novel kind of Has to take place before dmc3, making Dante at the most like 16-17. Oh my god.

#Like ok obviously you gotta take it with a grain of salt because dmc3 didnt exist and stuff has pretty blatantly been retconned.#While some stuff is Still considered canon.#The existence of ebony&ivory in dmc3 means. All of that had to have happened when he was a teenager#Jesus christ.#I was trying to rationalize it being in-between dmc1&3. Just for how old he seems.#Which again is handwavey??? Dmc3 didn't exist yet so it's like.#He's definitely Intended to be older but dmc3 fucks it up a little.#I was also trying to rationalize it because of how I was interpreting Gilver as a character? Gerbil..#I kind of assumed he was either like. A half nelo angelo-ed vergil or a Clone/replica of a half nelo angelo (like trish..)#Which again I think was the. Intent. But it liike. Can't be....#ITS A LITTLE FRUSTRATING because I want to take the novel as completely canon because it's so fucking good.#But it's. The contradictions.. they vex me...#the gilver scene at the end is so much more brutal with like. Dmc3 in mind it's so sad that like... doesn't work....#It also makes. Closes my eyes. The bit where he gets? Fucking assaulted??? Like one million times worse????#Like it's already sickening and kind of radically reshaped my understanding of his character. But oh my god if he's literally 16-17????#I haven't been able to stop thinking about the novel I really wish I could stick it in between dmc3&1... ughhh.#Damn you capcom....#ITS FUCKING GOOD I need to reread it. Man. Ugh.#Literally didn't realize it has to be Before dmc3 until like an hour ago. Sometimes forget (ebony and ivory)
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I think she wanted the idea of Danny more than Danny himself, and that the guilt she felt for using him that way was huge motivator in her behaviour towards him, especially in Dark Water/Death in Heaven. She throws herself into this grand gesture of devotion because she knows she was never devoted to him- she was always going to choose the Doctor when inevitably the double life she was trying to live broke down. It's the same reason she tells him she's never going to say the words 'I love you' to anyone else ever again, because she used the cover of saying it to him to say it to the Doctor. Because the first time she said it (in The Caretaker) it wasn't prompted by her feelings for him, she wasn't even talking to Danny, she was still talking to the Doctor.
She's a control freak and that comes from being afraid of hurt, of vulnerability. She wants to keep her armour on. And part of that armour was her relationship with Danny- normal, safe, within her control. She can't control the Doctor and she often can't control herself when she's around him, and that frightens her. And the Doctor rejecting her several times in quick succession reinforces that she's right to be afraid to surrender herself to this uncontrollable passionate thing, because she'll get her heart broken. There's no way for her to protect herself except to lie.
She's fully, gloriously human, and what the Doctor gives her is the outsider perspective on that, the thousand-year view, but she's never less human. She just has more room to express herself, someone to catch her when she walks over the edge. And their romantic connection is, to me, about their complementary natures and offering each other the most realised, complete version of themselves. They're partners and equals who challenge and fulfil each other. They're wildly attracted to each other and passionately adore each other. The thing which came between them was fear, fear of vulnerability and fear of loss. In the Doctor's case, fear of what he might become if he surrendered to his emotions. In Clara's case, fear of the damage he might inflict on her without noticing.
They are so afraid of losing each other that that fear prevents them truly being together or fully understanding one another's feelings. They're so afraid that it takes the worst case scenario of where their denial can take them in order for them to finally realise they should be honest. And even then, it's Clara who forces the issue because she already knows the end of her story, the Doctor was willing to carry on the status quo. If she'd been able to accept sooner that he felt the same way, it wouldn't have got this far. He takes his lead from her in their relationship, lets her decide how honest they are about what they are to each other, and he would have confessed earlier if she had let him.
#whouffaldi#dw meta#I left this as a reply to a comment on my fic but I feel like it sums some stuff up better than I ever have before#yes someone left me a kudos and I reread my own fic what of it#it's been up for a while now so I have enough distance to decide more rationally whether I hate it or not
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Back in Far Harbor gang… I get they probably didn’t want to extend a cutscene where the player had no control out too long, but I do wish in the Acadia meeting that you can eavesdrop on they brought up Nick 😭 but they do Not so here’s me making up scenarios. The Usual. 😏
#my art#described#fallout 4#dima#fallout 4 dima#nick valentine#also like the idea that Nick & Dima have internal fans and when they get Super Emotional u just hear WRRRRRRRRRRRRRR WHDBDJ#also playing with the idea that po is a psyker/has a ‘sight’ equivalent that’s. essentially just in-game save-scumming LMAO#rly hoping that’s not an idea I’m accidentally stealing from someone. PLS lemme know if someone else has used that and I just Forgot 😭#but ye essentially when faced with the more decisive moments. Po might just pass out and ‘experience’ all of the options -#- (akin to garnets future vision in SU I’d say!) and that helps him determine the best path forward#thought sometimes when it’s a smaller decision he doesn’t pass out. just experiences some light fatigue and then -#- ‘oh ya btw that trunk is trapped. yea you’ll get blowed up if you just open it.’ ‘…. well thanks for relaying that .0001 seconds before-#-I opened it PO.’#but anyway. all that to say that’s what Nick’s referring to when he said po probably ‘saw’ it and then encouraged the path#po meanwhile is upstairs looking through faraday’s diary - I mean uhhhhhhhhhh the other secret stuff. def not his diary#anyway. DiMA’s not biological but there is an importance to him to him and Nick’s relationship. he’s stupid protective of Nick -#- who probably doesn’t appreciate being the ‘little’ brother all that much. but that’s just how DiMA’s rationalized their ‘roles’#I just like em hehe
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but i'm not supposed to scratch
#undescribed#bonk.png#uninhabited planet survive#mujin wakusei survive#HOOO BOY this is extremely self indulgent bc i like fake episodes n storylines for things n sharla is my second fav of the bunch#before i forgot caption is a line from love me more by mitski n the dialogue is taken straight from wakaba's elevator scene in utena#just altered for the characters' genders obv back to yapping all the pieces were in place for sharla to have a jealousy subplot like in the#second half of the show (after adam is introduced basically) sharla n luna dont as much focus together with the secondary character to luna#shifting to kaoru bc of being more involved in directdanger all the time n sharla not being good at that stuff is relegated to the sidelines#which is something shes insecure about!! shes not as good at survival action as everyone else n doesnt have anything skills unique to her#she LITERALLY stops taking her rations of water so the others can have more bc she feels like she doesnt matter as much as the others!!#shes fairytale girl sharla which is good for morale (esp luna's) but not particularly helpful when theyve gone a few days with no food#she also is implied to have no proper friends before meeting luna in the first episode (at which point they immediately become ride or die)#with her only sort of friend being a girl she hung out with despite her being bullied n excluded who then left her for the bullies#n episode 17 is about her wanting luna to be able to rely on her with them sharing eachother's history of loneliness#the show also has a emphasis on their circumstances escalating emotions n causing them to lash out at eachother theres a episode right b4#the winter arc where howard is jealous n lashes out bc hes used to being the center of attention but no on on the island really likes himdue#to him being a brat so he soaks up adam's attention like a sponge n freaks out when adam starts favoring menori#which is understandble n somewhat easy to digest n process but you know who has a more prominent history of loneliness n abandonment who is#also prone to insecurity n thrives on someone's affection? sharla n i set this fake story line during the space criminals arc bc it doesnt#really have a lot of character work n takes place right after the winter arc with both having the characters stuck inside for most of it bc#of more direct serious danger n sharla along with chako n shingo would be stuck inside the most BUT with the criminals arc chako n shingo#are actively doing something theyre contributing but all sharla can do is watch adam while luna her bestie luna is out dealing with people#literally hunting them with kaoru who is notably better than everyone else at the whole survival action thing has become closer to lunasince#the winter arc n from what sharla has seen has no flaws or weaknesses theres specific reasons as to why i dont think her negative feelings#would be focused on the others bc for varying reasons she wouldnt feel they threaten her relationship with luna (the rationalization for#bell not being viewed as a possible threat is interesting to me bc of the similarities between him n sharla both of them bonding early on n#her being implied to have a crush on him while he explicitly has a crush on luna but thats not what we're talking about rn)#but none of those reasons really apply to kaoru n she has the reason of Him Saying He Killed Someone to feel more justified in directing#all her stress about their situation n the anxiety crawling up her throat about luna potentially choosing someone else over her onto him
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you ever feel so in love with your own OC-
(probably wont be able to finish this today... but maybe this weeks # Wolfgang Wednesday 🤫watch this space etc )
#just opened the file to look at it before i head out tonigt hfhdfks#im in a weird headspace wrt art again so heres a tag rant#whenever i make something that feels really self indulgent ie its not like a bigger project that moves the plot or something#i start to feel guilty like i should be doing more or pushing myself and my art more#and part of me is like. its literally fine the art is there to make me feel happy that i can make it why does everything need to be So Much#but i still feel like some alarm bells like uh oh spent too much time lately focusing on wolfien thats Not Allowed when you should be#spending time developing other characters and the story and shit#does this even make sense like ? help#i feel i hit a good stride in january with story art and some story developments#but now i feel my recent art doesnt reflect that and that disconnect is frustrating to me#like i wish i could beam this stuff into peoples brains because sometimes having so little time for art is so suffocating#and ive covered just like a Fraction of what i want to with my art in terms of the story and character dynamics etc#ultimately i think all of this malaise is just coming out of seasonal depression brain and clearly not. rational#but its malaise nonetheless
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The way I approach love stories is so interesting, like I care not for both sexual and romantic part, both don't exactly need to be present for you to see that characters trust each other and feel safe
Same with family, platonic stuff and friendships, feelings of trust and whatever else worth so much in all of this
Love story being a love story just means it'll happen faster and more... Boldly?? Bc that's the main focus and all
Also since people love romance so much you get more stuff in the fandom win/win
Although I'd say it took me a loooong time to get into anything, because I rarely see something and go THAT'S A SHIP! nah, that's a friendship, that's cute and sweet
Then we have toxic stuff and that's the intoxicating codependency that makes me want to analyze it all, like wow those characters are horrible to each other
But I usually have like two to balance each other, bc as funny toxic stuff is, I want some sweet stuff be it a friendship or a healthy ship
#I'm a cat by nature so every time a ship is like a kind character taming a cat I just start giggling bc yay comfort food#Then there's a rational part that is offended by it bc that's not canon >:(#But comfort food affects my brain like a blanket and sweet tea in a cold day#Same with fully healthy stuff although it's really rare fir me to make them clear#But like for example that's Sifloop and Isafrin for me one is not so healthy and one is#But bonus points are that sifloop is like two cats comforting each other sometimes and that's double giggles#Anyway I'm a simple person and I care only for the specific characters ships use since I won't just read something randomly and go#'oh that's perfect' bc I need to already know everyone and their initial dynamics#Anyway before I was in fandoms I never actually did this bc I again don't have a shipper in me that was from talking to my friends#Like when I saw romance I'd go “oh sweet!” and that's it I didn't understand why should I cheer or something bc sure???#Especially those 2000s shows that made SURE to have canon pairings and I didn't understand the appeal of it all#I'm still somewhat not in the loop but take isat for example again - I did cheer when Isa finally confessed bc I enjoyed their friendquest#Which is why I was like YAY YOU DID ITTTT and was glad they know that they're here for each other romantic or not#And then you have something like SvtFoE where shipping is the main thing and it was messyyyy#Anyway! If I ever make my OC interact keep all this in mind - I'm not shipping any of my characters#Maybe they're in a toxic something but that's not a ship as well! I don't mind people doing it but if it ever happens - I don't see any#Well I do see but more as a person who's been in fandoms before and knows everyone ships everyone with each other
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okay but truly like. i do not understand why the fuck Devon is with Ricken.
#before it was easy enough to rationalize it like...well. he's kooky. but there must be a lot of love and support in the relationship#he's kooky but SURELY he and devon are aligned on the important stuff that really matters. juuust off screen.#but nope. clearly not.#he truly seems oblivious and self-centered and she feels like she can't trust him at all. bummer!#and i was also sooo routing for ricken to continue radicalized lumon employees with his r/antiwork bullshit#so him selling out just makes me sad :( it's all so sad :(((#(although i will grant that it's early days...so perhaps there is still hope for him. we shall see!)#severance#severance spoilers#ricken hale#my posts
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i am still sulking about no aster. (give me a few days and a couple watermelons and i'll be back to normal)
#i was one of the people who (after the reveal) fell to their knees in the burger king parking lot. maybe even wailed skyward for a smidge#my petty side says the silhouette tease and tagline HAD to have been intentional to get us to think of aster#my rational side says that they probably did not think that hard about it#and NO they are NOT intentionally bullying familiar fans and feeding off their betrayed tears /... i hope 😂#no ears and tail.... twink who gets burnt.... WHAT WE COULD HAVE HAD....#me 1: don't you like garu? what's the problem?#me 2: i'm CONFLICTED ok. i can like the char but still feel BITTERLY DESTROYED ABOUT LOST POTENTIAL#I NEEEED THE TRANSGRESSIOnS. THE BREAKS IN THE PATTERNS!!!!#oh if we had a familiar treated as a clan member. an aster dante quincy banner. unbelievable. the comedy of it all#i mean. at least this trio is a new combo. AND they haven't been in summer banners before...?#er. summer banners likE THIS. with the beachwear and stuff.#gaAAAHHH but tthe fact that they made it garu#MEANS THAT WIPES OUT ANY IMMINENT DREAMS OF MY TRIPLE YOKAI EVENT#aaaaaahhh. i see. THAT's what this is about#what? like they're gonna suddenly break the pattern and have an event that's JUST yakumo and kuya?#please. we have seen by now that no molds shall be broken. *pathetic sniff*#i guess we'll just keep doing the same top-bottom pairs forever...#and certain characters will never get to mingle with others because they've been SORTED#into HOLE FILLER and HOLE FILLED-EE#*rolls around on the floor in a melodramatic whiny flopfest*#LET THEM ALL ROAM FREE RAAAAAAAAAAANGE
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Okay, a good amount of time has passed, and after having seen this post by @weretiger-be-my-horse , I've been turning it over and over in my brain going absolutely feral over this concept. I need to expand upon my thoughts on this idea and all the evidence there is pointing towards it, whether that be actual tangible things, or purely strong vibes I have.
First of all, full disclaimer: I did not like the season 5 finale, and how it wrapped up the DoA arc. To say that I "disliked" it is putting it extremely lightly, in fact -- I absolutely hated it, and I am still, to a degree, in disbelief that I actually even watched those 24 minutes with my own two eyes, and that it somehow wasn't a complete fever dream. While I'm not going to go in long-winded detail into all the ways that I feel like the finale almost completely bastardized all of its featured characters and destroyed any and all buildup we've had going on in this arc for 50 some chapters now, because that's not the main point of this post, I will not make any attempt to hide the fact that the theory-crafting I'm about to pose here is partly influenced and prompted by how much I hated the finale, and how much I desperately hope that it will not end up being manga canon. Therefore, if you enjoyed the finale — and that's fine! — and don't want to read any negativity about it, then I would not recommend reading any further (I mean, you've probably already left by this point, which is fair lol), While obviously it's important that I be as objective and unbiased as possible when explaining my thoughts, some of my negative feelings about the writing will be a part of this analysis, even if this isn't going to be a full-blown rant. Just know that if you proceed.
With that out of the way, let me continue.
So. In the aforementioned post, the theory presented is that the anime may be operating on an alternate timeline, and that this will become evident once we read the upcoming October chapter, wherein things will go completely differently post-chapter 110 than they do in the final episode — probably for the worse, with the s5 finale intending to lull us into a false sense of security and make us assume that everything in the manga arc finale will wrap up as smoothly and consequence-freely(? lol) as it did in the anime one. It also suggests that the Fukuchi we see at the very end that sskk are fighting came from the manga timeline, where he won, and that he used the Book to jump to a timeline where he lost, the anime one, proven by the fact that this Fukuchi is wearing a mask with the same design on it as the mask Fukuchi is wearing on the chapter 110 DoA color spread/title page.
First of all, I want to note the fact that it's not just the mask design that's the same: the entire outfit is roughly more or less the same as well. It's not completely 1-to-1, because the anime can never fully match the intricacies of Harukawa's beautiful outfit designs, and the Fukuchi in this scene has the kimono half-off because of the... super saiyan mode he's in, but most all of the main pieces of clothing are there. Any small inaccuracies could also be attributed to the fact that Harukawa probably didn't have this finalized art ready back when this episode was being made, so the animators wouldn't have had the complete design to work off of. But in general, because it's all so similar, I think we can quite confidently say that the ending episode Fukuchi is meant to be the one from this manga art.
Also, people have pointed this out, but it's worth mentioning that the mask Asagiri wore at Anime Expo in July was referencing this Fukuchi. It's not a crucial detail, but it just proves more that Asagiri is a gigantic fucking troll, and that he clearly wanted to draw attention to this Fukuchi design. It's important. He describes the mask here as made in the motif of an ellipses inside a speech bubble... could that perhaps be referencing meta aspects, like the Book?
Next, I want to talk about the even bigger elephant in the room, which to me is the most damning and undeniable piece of evidence there is of the anime operating on a completely separate timeline from the manga:
This Fucking Hand™️
As we all know, in the anime, Fyodor injures his hand when the password input device blows up, and as we all know, this does not happen in the manga. In the last episode, Dazai claims that the final nail in the coffin of his impromptu plan to kill Fyodor relied on this hand injury: because Fyodor couldn't pilot his escape helicopter himself, he would ask one of his Meursault vampires to do it for him, unaware that Bram and thus this vampire was now on the ADA's side, and said vampire could kill him while his guard was down.
Ignoring how utterly stupid and contrived this plan is when you stop and think about it for more than two seconds, the fact of the matter is that something that initially seemed like nothing more than an odd but inconsequential anime original addition ended up snowballing into being the entire reason one of the big bads was brought down. If Fyodor hadn't hurt his hand, he wouldn't have needed another pilot, and so the traitor vampire wouldn't have had an opportunity to get near him and kill him without him expecting it even though said vampire was presumably with him as they were leaving Meursault, and was probably already a traitor by then, so there was plenty opportunity for him to still die. not to mention by Chuuya's hands at literally any time he wanted to, because Chuuya was coherent the whole time. Also there's absolutely no way Dazai could have known exactly what Ranpo would do, no matter how smart he is and how much he trusts him. idk it's fucking dumb, just roll with it. Therefore, putting aside all other variables for now, we can conclude that, on the most basic level, this signifies that no hand wound = no death.
And let me tell you, this hand wound bothers me. It really, really does. Because they focus on it a LOT — they go out of their way to draw attention to it MULTIPLE TIMES, from the moment it first happens to the end of the season. Fyodor even talks about it to himself, about Dazai being able to cause him tangible, visible, bodily harm, (something that, again, as far as we've seen, has never happened in the manga). Hell, even after Fyodor's death, they're still drawing attention to it, because his right arm is all of him that survives, and Dazai picks it up and gives it to Nikolai to do his hilarious sad little gay fondling of it played completely straight even though there's nothing straight going on here at all! It's like it's a big red flashing sign at all times going "you see this injured hand? This is important. Are you picking up that it's important? Are you taking note of it?" Why is that? Obviously, it serves to give us the lore crumbs about Fyodor and "that man", but that's hardly the main, much more glaring reason, as I've already mentioned.
Fyodor doesn't hurt his hand in the manga. Fyodor won't die here in the manga. I am so dead serious by this point about this, and it's not just simply the fact that this was absolutely not at all the time for him to die, or the fact that his hand is the reason for his death in the anime in and of itself, but how much EMPHASIS they place on this, and on the hand in general. What would be the point of adding something like this, if it's not meant to alert us to the fact that it has a major impact on how the story plays out? We all know Bones: they struggle to get right and include everything that's already there in the source material; they would never go out of their way to add something this noteworthy if there wasn't a very good reason for it, if it wasn't absolutely necessary. I've seen a few people bring up the fact that Fyodor gets shot in the shoulder by Sigma and that that could lead to the same outcome in the manga, but I disagree: although he has blood on his shoulder in the manga, it seems like the bullet just grazed the top of it, because his arm and hand appears completely functional afterwards (not hanging limp by his side or anything). But that doesn't even matter, because this isn't even about the semantics/logistics of how the hand wound caused Fyodor's death because again, it's a stupid outcome, or what could serve as a substitute in the manga — thematically, this is a textbook example of the butterfly effect. Countless parallel universes exist within this series, ones where even the most minute differences lead to a majorly different outcome: this just happens to be one of them. There's no reason to think it isn't, and there's no reason to not think that the anime wants us to clue into the fact that things only went as smoothly as they did on the Meursault side because of this wound; in other words, that things will go very differently in the manga thanks to the absence of said wound. They wouldn't have added it in the first place and put such clearly deliberate emphasis on it otherwise.
Things are going to happen very differently in the manga, at least when it comes to the Meursault crew (but then, if you assume that, you then naturally assume it all will be very different). This is the only conclusion one can come to with the presentation of this anime-only wound, combined with the fact that parallel universes are a very real thing in BSD.
I'm going to go on a bit of a tangent, so bear with me. I play a lot of visual novels, and although such concepts aren't really as original now as they were a while ago, some of my favorite and some of the very best VNs out there are the ones that break the fourth wall and make the visual novel branching route format directly intertwined with the story: you know, the ones where the characters go "if only I had done things differently, maybe everything would have turned out better...!" in a wink wink nudge nudge moment, and the ones where the characters are aware of the different timelines, even, or even have the ability to gain information from their selves in said alternate timelines to influence events in their current one (I'm intentionally not naming the games I'm thinking of for the sake of spoilers, but if you know, you know lmao). It gets very meta in this regard, and this is how I started viewing BSD through the lens of ever since I first learned about Beast: like a visual novel with many branching routes, and only a few routes that feel entirely "right".
When I first read Dazai's Entrance Exam, I was struck by how unnerving the ending sequence in the abandoned hospital felt. Obviously, Kunikida's internal struggle over Sasaki's actions and motives is him still desperately clinging to his ideal world that does not exist, but the specific type of phrases he uses — "who is wrong?" "[who is] the cause of all this?" "there has to be an ideal world" "there has to be something, I'm sure of it" "There must have been something we could have done!" — and the framing of the scene in general, is eerily reminiscent of a bad ending in a visual novel, to me. There's a haunting, looming, bleak sense that a different outcome could have been achieved, if different decisions had been made, or if things outside of anyone's control had been different... and we know that this is true, because in Beast alone, Kunikida never goes through the Azure Messenger incident, because Dazai doesn't have his entrance exam. Hell, you could even consider the anime's version of the Azure Messenger arc an alternate timeline in of itself, if you really wanted to, long before we even arrive at season 5.
When it comes to Beast, this timeline has almost the opposite feeling of what I described above, that I've also encountered in visual novels: the idea of a "good route" or "good ending" that still doesn't feel quite earned, or as perfect as one would expect. Beast is presented as the "ideal" timeline purely for one sole reason: Oda is alive. It is the only timeline where he's alive, and keeping Oda alive is the ultimate goal Dazai wants to achieve, the only reason this timeline exists; therefore, disregarding all else, Beast should be the best timeline, because Oda's death is the greatest devastation in the series to date. We all want him to live, so why wouldn't the timeline where he does be the best one? And yet... of course, it isn't. Dazai is alone, and steeped in darkness and loneliness without Oda, and dies by the end of the story for Oda's continued living. Atsushi has Kyouka still, but he's suffering and more traumatized, and unable to heal while stuck in the mafia, and neither can Kyouka. Akutagawa is living a much better life in the ADA... but without his sister, and without what he has from his bond with Atsushi in canon, that isn't replicated in Beast. And Oda... Oda is alive, and he has his children and his novel, but there is a feeling that he is aimless, that something in his life is missing. He has everything he ever wanted, but all that means nothing without what he truly needs: Dazai, and his time with Dazai and Ango at the bar. In this way, things going well and us getting what we want — in this case, Oda living — goes against how it's supposed to be, the natural order, which is why it feels so hollow. In the specific visual novel I'm thinking of here as a comparison (again, shoutout if you know), there's an alternate ending that involves you inputting information you gain at the end of the game very early on in the game, wherein the protagonist now has memories of the future and is able to bypass and prevent all of the events that take place normally. This means that people who die or are hurt somehow in general are saved from that fate, and nothing bad ever occurs; everything wraps up neatly and nicely... but again, there's an undeniable, unsettling feeling of emptiness, of a victory that rings hollow, because what's the point if everything is simply handed to you easily, where's the sense of accomplishment, without any struggles to achieve said victories, or any growth along the way? How can it feel earned if one doesn't have to, in Dazai's words, "scream within the storm of uncertainty, and run with flowing blood"?
You can probably already see where I'm going with this.
This finale feels weird. Really, really weird. It feels too cheap, too simple, too unsatisfying. So much so, in fact, that for almost the entire runtime, as I was bombarded with resolution upon resolution one after another, I kept thinking "There's no way this can be real. Where's the catch? When is the "gotcha!" moment gonna happen? The "it was all a dream" reveal?". And this isn't just because I hated the writing, and that it really did feel like a fever dream watching fanfic levels of bad (actually, that's an insult to fanfic writers, tbh; they could do better) — no, it genuinely feels so incredibly fake. Even upon rewatching it and already knowing what happens, my brain still naturally keeps expecting some kinda of "sike, you THOUGHT!" moment to suddenly appear. It just.... feels "too good to be true". Dazai and Chuuya come out unscathed, and it's revealed that they were never in any real danger to begin with. Fyodor, one of our biggest threats, is dealt with supposedly for good (I say "supposedly" only because of the Jesus line, but if anything imo, I think that's just a hint that this won't be the canon ending in the manga, so in a sense he's going to "come back to life"), and Nikolai seems somewhat at peace with his death. The other biggest threat, Fukuchi, is also dealt with, and he and Fukuzawa get their final moment together of closure. Yes, Sigma is left in Meursault don't even get me started on how angry this alone makes me, and Fukuzawa loses Fukuchi, but overall, everything is portrayed in a positive light, and any negatives or losses are quickly glossed over. Everything is tied up nicely, neatly, and smoothly. ...And that is exactly what makes it feel so wrong, and hard to trust in.
I'm not sure if this will make sense, but to me, the finale is so incredibly poorly written that it almost feels.... intentional. It's so bad to the point of feeling self-aware in how bad it is, how unrealistically happy and convenient an ending it is. It had to end this neatly in order to rush to wrap up this arc for the season finale and not leave the last episode on a cliffhanger — which imo is chiefly the main reason it turned out this way, and, if this whole theory is true, Asagiri just used it to his advantage — and I'm not saying this was probably an effect Bones had in mind intentionally, I'm sure they just threw shit at the wall and went with whatever stuck, maaaaybe with some suggestions/approval from Asagiri, but the result is that you have a conclusion that contradicts so much of what was set up before and goes against so many character arcs, making some characters so out of character and even regressing in their development Dazai. I'm talking about Dazai abandoning Sigma, because he would never; hashtag #NOTMYDAZAI. Also Nikolai, Nikolai for most of that is so ooc I can't even begin to describe it oh my god. Everyone is OOC to a degree though lmao, and opens so many plot holes, to the point that it's impossible not to watch all that and get the feeling that it is subtly saying to you "did you really think it could be this easy? It feels wrong, doesn't it? It doesn't feel satisfying. It feels unearned." I find it incredibly interesting and suspicious in particular that they confirmed multiple theories people had about soukoku in Meursault: that Chuuya slowed the elevator's fall so that Dazai wouldn't die from it, that Chuuya slowed down the bullet so that it only penetrated Dazai's skin and not his skull, and that the both of them used Fyodor's camera angle to their advantage because they knew he wouldn't be able to see certain things from his view. I'm not saying that Asagiri trawled BSD twitter and tumblr after those chapters dropped for the most popular theories before the final episode was made lmao, there was no time for that (imagine though lol—), but I do think it's highly likely that he already had in mind exactly what theories would be made about these parts (I mean, the evidence for the gun scene was all there), and that Dazai rattling them off in his long monologue to Fyodor at the end is essentially him speaking to the audience and going "yeah, that's what you would predict, right? Those are the clichés, after all", much like him suggesting earlier that he can maybe bring Chuuya back to himself with a few moving words and the power of friendship, and Fyodor using the split personalities trope to fool Sigma. We expect these tropes to be true. Of course we'd fall for them, as Fyodor tells Sigma, especially if the evidence is right there. But Asagiri himself has explicitly said that he likes doing the opposite of what people expect. And so just because people predicted correctly with the three things I mentioned in this timeline... doesn't mean they'll be true in the manga's. Things happened how we wanted and expected it to, and everything turned out happily. So we can relax now, right? Everything will work out just as easily in the manga, right? Or... is the reason most of this finale feels so fake and unsettling and unsatisfying because it's meant to lull us into a false sense of security before all our heroes lose in the manga? Because deep down, we don't want an ending that's this simple, because we'd rather have a conclusion where our characters have struggled more and grown more and come out the better for it, and we know it?
After rewatching the episode a lot, and watching some other videos, and doing a lot of thinking, I am pretty confident in suspecting that the only part of this finale that is actually from manga canon, aside from Aya jumping off the building of course, is Fyodor and Nikolai's exchange after Fyodor leaves Meursault — specifically, them talking about Fyodor leaving Sigma behind, and their "new game" and Nikolai being excited at the prospect of it. This little conversation actually feels in character for them, and it's easy to tell this when contrasting it with everything that happens immediately after, wherein Fyodor is fatally stabbed, and Nikolai, completely at odds with what he was just talking about, just... stands there and watches Fyodor die while Dazai monologues lmao. I'm not sure if the helicopter is still a factor, but I would bet good money on Fyolai getting out of Meursault being manga canon, and that Dazai and Chuuya getting out as well and killing Fyodor + everything with FukuFuku, is part of the anime original ending, in order to wrap up everything positively. It makes much more sense if you think about, in reality (aka in the manga), Dazai and Chuuya still being left behind in Meursault (where they can eventually try to get Sigma), because none of it was an act and things did not go according to plan, and Fukuchi having an entirely different goal that doesn't feel so stupid and contradictory to his character, and Fukuzawa possibly dying — everyone seemingly loses, with Aya still being the last hope, perhaps by awakening her ability like we all speculated.
There's a youtuber I watch who covers BSD in-depth, despite being an anime-only (she reads the respective manga content after each season, though). Going into this finale, she knew about the fact that the anime had overtaken the manga, though she didn't know where the cutoff point was; despite that, however, she made predictions about what was from the manga so far and what was anime original, and it was almost entirely spot-on, based mostly on what she basically described as "anime original dialogue." She talked about how you can always tell when dialogue is veering into the realm of anime-original, because the sentences are very short, choppy, and slightly out of character, but generic enough to not be TOO out of character, and so that anyone can easily write said lines, even if they're not extremely familiar with the character like the original author would be. And when I heard this explanation, everything clicked — because so much of this finale has dialogue like that. The Fyolai scenes just feel peppered with it, around the lines I mentioned earlier, the Dazai dialogue does too, and ESPECIALLY shit at the end like Fukuchi and Fukuzawa exchanging the cliche death lines to end all death lines: "Are you there? I'm a little tired." "Rest up." That just isn't Bungou Stray Dogs. That isn't Asagiri. BSD is cheesy at times, yes, but it isn't like this; it's smarter. The dialogue is smarter, the explanations/plot twists are smarter, Asagiri is smarter, and the aforementioned youtuber I watched agreed. She's a pretty casual fan of the series, so if even she could pick up on these things, I think it speaks volumes.
I mentioned this briefly earlier, but this theory makes sense if you consider that this situation probably came about because of Bones wanting two seasons back-to-back when they did, and this arc being as long as it is. Season 3 aired in 2019, and I imagine Bones would have wanted season 4 in 2020, and might have then been willing to wait a bit longer for season 5 in order for more of this arc's manga chapters to come out — but then covid happened. Because of that, season 4 was delayed to 2023, creating the longest gap we've had between seasons, and I wouldn't at all be surprised if the delay made them want season 5 right together with it, after getting so far "behind", so to speak. S4 was announced in November of 2021, and roughly around that time, Asagiri was finishing up writing the plot of the DoA arc. If Bones came to him sometime in late 2021 and said they wanted two seasons now (so basically, one giant two cour season), Asagiri would know that not only of course would this arc not be finished publishing in the manga for a very long time yet, but that roughly 20ish episodes would not be enough to cover it all to the end, with this arc being longer than any arc the anime has adapted to date. Because of all this, and the arc manga chapters being nowhere near fully drawn to completion, he'd have to make a decision about what to do, and what to give Bones. Without ending season 5 on a massive cliffhanger that wouldn't be resolved for years until an eventual season 6, the only other option would be to rush towards an anime-original ending for the DoA arc.... and for Asagiri to take advantage of that, and integrate it into BSD's lore. Thereby creating a truly unique cross-media experience that utilizes the different mediums to create multiple timelines, that could make both the anime and manga interact with each other and become part of a bigger picture (not that you'd need to see both to get the full experience, mind you, just that it'd provide a little bonus if you did).... and would without a doubt be Asagiri's biggest surprise yet.
...I feel like at this point I'm starting to ramble, and my evidence become more and more incoherent and less substantial lmao, so I should probably end this post. 💀 Thank you if you've read this far, and hopefully it made some semblance of sense, despite not being structured very well; I know I promised at the start to try to be as objective as possible and curb my negative feelings, but I'm not sure how well I succeeded in that regard. If it weren't for the Fukuchi thing and the Fyodor hand thing, I probably wouldn't take how wrong and strange and bad the finale feels to me as serious evidence about it being an alternate timeline, especially since I seem to be one of the only people who actually hates all of it.... but combined with everything else, I am just so convinced of this theory being true. It started off as pure copium, but as more time has gone on, I fully, 100% believe in my bones (ha) that there is no way that finale is the same Bungou Stray Dogs I know and love, for so many reasons. It just isn't. It can't be. I know BSD better than this, I know Asagiri better than this, and I know that it's absolutely in the realm of possibility for him to cook up this whole scheme to completely blindside us with in the upcoming chapters, because that's exactly the kind of shit Mr. "Please Be Surprised!" himself would pull. If I end up being completely wrong, I guess I'm wrong, and you can laugh at me all you want then.... but I just know that ages ago people were teasing the idea of the anime operating on a different timeline from the manga, and I truly do think that only now are we finally seeing that idea come to fruition, as a setup for Asagiri going full-bore insanity with the Book in the upcoming arc(s). if I and the OP of that theory end up right, this will be the wildest time in the BSD fandom's history.
Like. I cannot even emphasize how hard they are trolling us at this point. Something is going on. Something is being cooked over there, the likes of which we've never seen before... and I don't think any of us are ready for it.
Oh yeah, and one last thing of note: both Fyodor and Nikolai here have their right arms hidden from view. Is that alluding to anything? I'm not sure. I also think that since chapter 110 was so short, next chapter will likely be 110.5 instead of 111, and if that's the case, this title spread could still technically be associated with the next chapter... wherein we might see this Fukuchi, who ends up wreaking havoc, right before he jumps to the timeline in the anime, as we see him at the end of the s5 finale.
I guess we'll find out on Tuesday.
#bungou stray dogs#meta#bsd season 5#bsd s5 spoilers#alternatively titled 'when you copium so hard out of stewing in your denial anger and grief that it becomes reality'#is it still copium if there's strong evidence for it? idk#i DON'T know what i'll do if the stuff in this finale ends up being canon :))) make no mistake about that#but until the very moment the schrödinger's cat box is opened and i am forced to acknowledge it with my own two eyes in chapter 111/110.5#i am choosing to stay calm and rational and look at things with a sound mind... and acknowledge all the signs that are there#of which there are so many#Asagiri is a troll. he has always been a troll and this is more evident than ever lately#and he would know that everyone who watched the finale would take it at face value#never expecting it to go completely differently in the manga#and he's so much smarter than what was in that finale. he would never write those things. i would stake my life on it.#i don't care how many flaws BSD does have that i do acknowledge; he is a good writer in so many ways and he is so much better than /that/#i could fill an entire BOOK (ha ha) with all of the reasons why this finale does not work. seriously it is a never-ending can of worms#of ooc characterizations and plot holes and abandoned threads and straight up CONTRADICTIONS with what has been stated before in the arc#with fukuchi's motivations and presentation; with things that were happening in meursault; just.... so much illogical shit in general#THE MACHINE HEALED THEIR WOUNDS??? ARE YOU FOR REAL????#*sigh* but i said i wasn't gonna rant alskdjgfkdls#tbh though the only REAL thing i need to know that the finale was anime only was what the youtuber i watch pointed out:#that Bram magically regenerated all his clothes. because if it were Asagiri Bram would be naked from the shoulders down fjdkslsaskd#...anyway. This theory is real and true. I am manifesting it into existence 🙏🙏🙏#Asagiri my man...... you have never let me down yet in all the years I've known your series. Please don't let me down now.#I'm trusting in you more than ever right now...... and your ability to blow all our minds in the best possible way#(guys i'm really really really scared deep down; please hold me hahaha ahahahahaaaa- *cries*)#this would the coolest thing in the history of ever though if it happened though. I am SO EXCITED FOR THE POSSIBILITY!!!!!#ASAGIRI YOU SICK AND TWISTED MF; HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME BEG FOR MY FAVES TO SUFFER JUST SO THAT THIS BAD WRITING DOESN'T BECOME REALITY!!!!!!#he knows exactly what he's doing *SCREAMS* :))))))))
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Another thing is, she seems to f*tishize bigger women. Like, I had seen her before showing her inspirations for """T8OO"""" (which is basically like a s*x object to her) and it was a bunch of plus size women with little clothes/ling*rie that she found on pinterest. Not much after that, her pinterest got suspended, probably because of having too much sugg*stive/n$fw images of women with such bodies (if not worse). She showed this too recently.

She also tends to do the chest bigger to an exaggerated extent in her drawings (not showing pictures because it is eye hurting) and overall, I've never seen her draw a character with a body type like that in a non-sexual context. So yeah, it gives me a bad feeling.
#as someone who was big like that not too long ago it made me uncomfortable#but before i just kinda ignored the feeling as all her content makes me uncomfortable#mainly because of the p*do/inc*st stuff#but now i've rationalized it#maybe i'm onto something?#if you're also plus size confirming would be helpful#at the end she's creepy in general#📱📸❌#also if im not wrong calling someone aphrodite is like Cursing them
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Happy Pride, I'm redrawing old Holmes X Utterson doodles I did a time ago. The goal for each one I do will to be make it gayer/more homoerotic than before
New ver
Old ver
What New version says under cut
(Holmes is grazing the edge of Utterson's bottom lip with his thumb, muttering, "It's elementary, my dear-"
LIVE HYDE REACTION: "Wth?? Okay, this almost would be cute if Gabe wasn't such a dumbass. NO WAY IN HELL is a thumb-lip graze platonic!! That idiot..."
Utterson, thinking: "Oh, this must be something close friends do. As friends... Dear Lord... Why is my heart beating so fast? I feel so light headed... My face is burning, perhaps I have a fever..."
#Utterson before realizing that he has a crush on Holmes is SO funny to me#He really out here like “We're such good friends! So good that I wanna kiss him. The power of friendship!!!!"#While Holmes is just patiently waiting for Utterson to realize XD#Utterson just rationalizing that what he feels is The Close Bond of Male Friendship is funny to me#Thank God he finds out what Bisexuality is lmao#forfunsiesau#alternate universe#fgo#fate go#fate grand order#fgo fate grand order#original character#fgo oc#fgo fanservant#fanservant#fgo sherlock holmes#oc x canon#happy pride month#pride month#Holmes deserves a reward for being the most patient man in Chaldea while he watches Utterson sort stuff out XD#ibis paint x#ibispaintx#redraw#sketches
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