#and reading through old forum posts and stuff is so fun

[selbstverbrennung]

you guys remember back when we used to call ultimis by 1.0 and primis by 2.0? man

[dovenskin]

oh um.. im back 🫩🫩🫩 ur writing is just tooo goooodddd 🤌🤌🤌

this reqq im not sure if youve done it b4 but basically is just the boring old bimbo reading bla bla but theyre so dumb to the point theyre oblivious to bill's (yes bill again, i cant help it) antics

--like no matter what he just cannot bag them because they brush him off like nothinggggg

theres no specific gender or race for thiss just go wildd 💕💕

⋆

bill dickey ノ

cw : just fluff , bimbo reader/ gn , bill is a loser with a crush

✦ Title: Don’t You Get It?

an : i must have this loser // bill nye the science guy

© dovenskin

Bill had been rejected before.

Sort of.

In theory.

He once got ghosted by a girl named Rachel who said Warhammer lore made her sleepy (and who probably wasn’t even a REAL girl with an answer like that). Another time, he asked a girl in his English class out and she started screaming out of pure horror. But you? You were something worse. You didn’t even reject him. You just… missed it.

Like someone throwing themselves off a building and landing in a bounce house.

You weren’t mean. You weren’t cruel. You were just… impossibly immune. Dangerously dumb in the most mind-nuking, hot-person way possible.

You floated through life powered by Fruitopia and vibes. You called manga “graphic cartoons.” You once said Donnie Darko was “like if a Hot Topic coupon was a movie.” And worst of all—worst of all—you never noticed Bill’s advances.

Like, ever.

He’d tried subtle at first.

Made fun of your taste in a way he thought came off flirtatious.

“You know those comics are written for normies, right?” he snorted, watching you flip through Witchblade.

You smiled. “Yeah. The girlie has a glowing hand. It’s cool.”

“That’s not even how the lore works.”

“What lore?”

He blinked.

You walked away, humming.

—

He spent three hours that night writing a forum post titled: “The Infantilization of Comic Culture & The Rise of Hot Airheads.”

He made sure to tag it with your username.

You never saw it. You didn’t even have a forum account.

When subtle didn’t work, he tried smart.

You were leaning on a shelf near the longboxes, biting the straw of a Yoo-hoo and reading an issue of Gen¹³ sideways.

“I brought you something,” Bill said, practically materializing next to you.

You looked up, all bright eyes and that vacant, serotonin-radiating smile.

“Oh! Is that for me?”

He handed you a bootleg DVD of Paprika.

“Satoshi Kon,” he said, like it meant something. “It’s high concept. It’s about dreams and identity fracturing under surveillance capitalism.”

You stared at it. Turned it over.

“Oh, cool. This the chair guy one?”

“….Yes?”

“I like the chair guy. He’s weird.”

You never watched it.

The DVD ended up in your tote bag, wedged between a glittery hair clip and a MyScene doll. Bill saw it fall out once when you tripped over a crack in the sidewalk. Still shrink-wrapped.

He didn’t speak for the rest of the week.

—

Then he tried bold.

“You ever think about dating someone who actually gets you?” he blurted one day, sweating. You were crouched on the floor, reading Archie’s Weird Mysteries with the kind of laser-focus people usually reserved for religious texts.

You looked up, gum smacking.

“Huh?”

“Like—someone who doesn’t treat you like a moron.”

“Oh, haha, yeah. That’s why I stopped watching movies with guys.”

He blinked.

You went on, cheerfully oblivious.

“They always get handsy if you fall asleep or try to make you watch stuff with no plot. Like I get it, David Lynch, whatever. But, like, where’s the kissing?”

Bill opened his mouth. Closed it.

You patted his arm. “You’re nice, though. You’re like… a cousin to me.”

A Cousin.

A COUSIN TO YOU.

Bill left work early that day and walked home in the rain. With his head hung low. Like a tragic indie movie protagonist. Except worse. Because he wasn’t mysterious—he was damp and flannel-clad and on the verge of a bimbo-induced psychotic break.

—

He tried to get over it. He did.

Told himself you were too vapid to matter. Too shiny. Too airheaded. “A creature of pure aesthetic with the cultural taste of a Hot Pocket,” he muttered once to Jerry. Jerry nodded, like that was wise.

But then you showed up the next Thursday wearing something so uniquely you and asked, “Hey, does Batman ever die? Like actually die?”

And he was back at zero.

Hard reset.

Spiraling.

-

At some point it stopped being a crush and became a condition.

He wrote about you in his LiveJournal.

June 3rd: They don’t know who Alan Moore is. They said Watchmen was “kinda wordy.” I’m in love. Kill me.

June 10th: I offered them my Criterion copy of Seven Samurai. They asked if there was a color version. I said no. They said “Lame.” I haven’t slept since.

You weren’t even trying. That’s what destroyed him. You weren’t teasing him, weren’t playing a game—you just genuinely, blissfully didn’t care. About his film references. His anime lectures. His edgy monologues about narrative structure.

You once asked if Dune was based on Star Wars.

He actually saw God for a second.

The final straw came in late July.

You were standing near the register eating a Pop-Tart raw, Bill walked in holding two Slurpees. One blue. One red. Subtle. Intentional.

You looked up.

“Oh my god! You got me one?”

He smiled, smug. “Yeah. I remembered your favorite.”

You sipped it.

“Mmm… this is wrong. I like the blue and red together. Like when they mix and get all sludgy. Can I pour this into yours?”

He blinked. “What?”

You had already done it.

The sacred Slurpee merge.

Like it meant nothing.

He didn’t speak for five minutes. He just stared at the cup, mourning the symbolism that only he had built up in his mind

That night he started a draft of a zine called “Too Dumb to Love Me: The Decline of the Modern Crush”. He drew a caricature of you on the front. You had sparkles around your head and were saying “What’s a criterion?” in bubble letters.

He never finished it.

He couldn’t.

[tinydefector]

I do not know if you have ever thought about it, but listen! Last night I came up with a funny idea where Nadia and her friend decided to have fun and did a survey among bots. who do they think they would fuck that night and obviously almost all the bots have chosen our favorite ambassador. I would be interested to see the ambassador's reaction to this prank from Nadia😁良い一日を。💕

Pay back-Human affects

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: pin-up photoshoot, mentioned nudity, thirsting, unhinged behaviour.

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Is it nearly 1am, yes, but I wanted to finish this piece because it was written with the last part, but I wanted it to split it for these requests.

Ask and request are open

________

The Ambassador sat with the three surfing what was essentially the cybertronian version of Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit all in one, laughing and reading the post.

"Ooo, this one's juicy!" Nadia crowed, shoving her datapad in the Ambassador's face, making them read through yet another raunchy post.

DockDawg66: "Primus, you guys, have you SEEN our Ambass? The way their hips sway when they walk...I just wanna toss 'em in my cab and take 'em for a spin, if you catch my drift! That soft little organic is begging for a spike the size of their torso. Bet I could make 'em sing."

The whole crew roared with laughter as the Ambassador snatched the pad, face heated in embarrassment, they were aware that some of the bots on ship had a thing for them but this, this was not what they had expected they literally had a full forum dedicated to them.

"Have you no shame, you pervs?" They huff out while pressing a hand to their forehead. Millian scanned down their notes with a smirk. " it seems you've got a bit of a fanclub, chief. Check out 'Ambass_Admirer' tag

'I just wanna rub my plating all over that smooth flesh...make 'em squeal.' They go on like that for paragraphs, it's a riot."

The Ambassador rolled their eyes good-naturedly as their motley human crew dissolved once more into giggles at the bots' oh-so-secret desires. Their jaw nearly drops as the crew scrolls through even more posts. "Fucking hell! How many of these are there!?!?"

"Seriously, it's like every other bot's got the hots for you!" Millian snorted, scrolling furiously. Nadia nudged them with a wicked smirk. "We should totally roast these pervs. Post looking for 'hot single bots' - bet their inboxes would explode!"

Millian cackled, adding fuel. "Ooh, or you could play hard to get! anyone feel like earning a private photoshoot?' Their circuits would short for sure!"

Ambassador's could feel the colour nearly draining from them with the continued bullying and jokes from the three. As for feeding such flames... Well, a little harmless teasing did feel justified, if they wanted to be fiends what was stopping the Liaison from being one back.

"Alright you hooligans, enough scheming for one night." They chuckled. That's when Taylor speaks up. " you know we could do a bit of a spicy photoshoot, kinda like only Fans make some money of horny bots," she hums while leaning over the Ambassador's shoulder. "Taylor!" The Ambassador sputtered with embarrassment and shock.

"Now there's an idea..." Millian mused, eyeing their boss. Money could go far in this ragtag outpost, and fleecing horny mechs of their shanix just felt poetic.

"Alright you lunatics, I will play along. But first-" They turned to Taylor with a stern look. "Ground rules. Nothing goes public without my say-so, got it? I don't need an invasion of metal pervs in my room!"

They three nearly squeal in delight over the go ahead. "So how far are we going to go with this boss, just some light stuff like you laying on a bed or what?" Millian asked. The three are already scheming ways to do decent photos.

"Oh, oh I have a camera somewhere"

"So... I may have been able to talk One First aid into giving me Ratchet's old servos from before we ended up on ship. Don't ask how" one of the others stated.

The Ambassador rubbed their temples, already regretting this scheme but far too amused to back out now.

"Alright, you loons - nothing explicit, got it? I'm not getting Naked for anyone, Classy pin-up style shots fine, some saucy photos sure but that only." They start laying out ground rules for the three,despite being their boss, they were also friends and they did want to enjoy some letting loose. "And I suppose props could...add a dash of naughty flair, but if we are doing this you guys act professional, don't make weird comments."

As the crew dove into planning, they shook their heads fondly. "We'll start simple - you lounging in 'sexy' clothes, maybe leaning on those servos. Gauge how you feel, then amp it up gradually if you feel comfortable."

"And I get 30% of all earnings!" The Liaison called after them as they scramble to grab what they can for the shoot.

Both Millian and Taylor carted in the servos on a trolley, the ambassador was almost impressed but decided to keep their questions to themself, not really wanting to know how they got ahold of severed cybertronian hands. The three are trying to figure out where to start and what the ambassador should wear.

"I swear if Kyle, David or Daniel find out about this I'm putting all three of you on cleaning duty for forever." The Ambassador threatens them, hands on hips, eyeing the bustling preparations with mingled amusement and trepidation. What had they unleashed upon this ship?

"Boss, take a look, scored this silky robe that's sure to drive 'em wild!" Nadia called, holding up the item in question with a smirk.

Millian hauled over a plush bed adorned with soft blankets and pillows from over in the corner Of their room. "Lay back here while Taylor and I do a test shoot, just want to try and set up lightly."

They move to lay on the bed, trying to get comfortable and move things until they feel right. Millian snaps a few pics before the Liaison stands back up looking at the box of clothing.

Nadia and Taylor begin moving the Servos trying to get them set up as close to the bed as possible. “I'm so glad these are holo on the inside, they are Heavy enough” Taylor huffs out and the move and curl the digits.

The Ambassador looks at the different clothing and fabrics with a raised eyebrow. "Do I want to know where you guys got all of this?" They ask. The three just give mischievous looks.

They let out a sigh. "We will start off with something like this, then you lot can play dress ups with me, Christ never knew you three were this much of a nightmare"

"Alright you troublemakers, out with you while I change," they chide their over-eager crew, shooing them from the room with a laugh. Once alone, they unfurl the silky robe reverently, resting it on the bed before peeling off their uniform. Neatly piling it together. They rummage through the other clothing grabbing out a rather nice looking set of underwear before dragging luxurious sheen robe over their shoulders.

They move over to Millian's set before calling out to them. "I'm changed, you can come back in" they call out. Millian's head popped in, eyes widening at the vision before them. "Boss, you clean up nice!" They let out a low whistle.

The liaison's eyes trace over the large Servos on the ground with a pile of pillows and blankets set between them. "So how are we doing this?" They ask. Nadia and Taylor piled in behind, stopping in their tracks at the enticing sight. The Ambassador lounged lazily amid plush bedding, silhouetted seductively against the soft lights. Those mighty metal servos loomed ominously close.

Taylor shook off her daze first. "Lay back and get comfy. We'll start with some innocent stuff - just look smouldering while you toy with the fabric." With that the three moved around getting lights set so they had the height for the photos. “I'm starting to get suspicious on why you guys have all of this equipment in here Millian.” They call out only for them to wave the accusation off. “Eh I do photos for Nadia on occasions”

"Alright, lay back against those pillows- yeah, just like that. Now arch your back a little and tilt your chin up," Nadia instructed eagerly, moving a few pillows into a good position, Ambassador's gaze up with eyes half lidded. “I feel so stupid doing this!” They call out which makes the others laugh. “Ahh don't worry, last time Nadia did a shoot she nearly lost the bikini top she was wearing because it got caught. Spend ten minutes trying to not have to cut it off” Taylor informed.

“Yea I didn't want to wreck one of my favourites!”

Millian gave a low whistle. "You're doing great, I promise the more you laugh the less awkward it is. Now trail one hand slowly down your chest while the other grips the robe's lapel." Taylor surveyed their work, making subtle adjustments here and there.

"You two- move that big metal hand like it's gently cupping their waist." The crew buzzed around their model putting touches in place. Each minute adjustment drew out as they chatted away about random stuff while doing the photos, it helped them not feel so awkward about doing the photos.

"Alright, I think we've got our money shot," Millian declared at last, snapping one final smouldering image. The shutter clicked rapidly as they tested angles, coaxing out new provocative poses little by little. They stand back up, wrapping the robe around themself as they walk over to Millian. " Can I see the photos? They were rather excited, this wasn't something they normally did, but the three were actually rather professional with it.

The group looked at the photos as Millian slowly flicked through the collection showing off the collection along with some of the more silly ones they took to help ease the tension. The silky robe clung to curves in all the right places, every inch of exposed flesh looked as if it glowed. Bedroom eyes beckoned from heavy lids, lips parted as if panting from passion's heights recently scaled. One hand grasped the large metal hand.

"Holy shit, you really got me good!" They breathed, awed by photos that the three had helped craft. Nadia gave a devilish grin. "Just wait till the boys get an eyeful. They won't know whether to rub one out or combust on the spot!"

Laughter spilled forth from them as Millian begins transferring them over to their data pad. “this was fun, I can see why you enjoy doing it Nadia, I haven't felt this..”

“Beautiful?”

“handsome?”

"Desirable?”

The three state one after another which gets a head shake from the Liaison. “Yes, “ They admit.

"Also how exactly are we going to be posting these photos?" Inquiry, the were feeling rather daring now and wanted to have input on the posting.

They ushered the others close, datapad in hand. "Here's what we'll do- I've got an anonymous account on one of those seedy Commlink forums the bots love. You know, the one where they all drool over flesh?"

Nadia snorted. "Oh yeah, the 'Human Fucker' board. Classy place."

Millian ignored her, pulling up the photos. "I'll post just one crop out whatever you want for your comfort - the money shot where your hand is gripping that servo. Caption will be 'Look who I've got...' nothing else."

“don't crop it post the full thing, I like it and well they want to play with fire this is what happens” the Ambassador hums which makes Taylor cackled, rubbing her hands together. "Mark my words, those mechs will be tripping over themselves trying to claim the 'lucky bot' title," Millian promised gleefully.

Commlink forum: human fucker.

Ambass_Admirer pin.

Tin_Bin25: 'Look who I've got.'

a photo of a bots servos cupped partly around a human in a Satin robe looking rather Ravished, smiling up while their robe is hanging off their shoulder showing off a rather scandalous amount of skin.

Overcharger69: Holy frag is that the Ambass? Lucky slagger, frag what a fine piece!!!

T-Wrexz: No way!. Someone Fragging did it. They got with a Fleshie!

Rev-Rid3: some lucky mech sampled fleshy friction and got the dream...

Flyboi69: : FRAG THIS WHO CARES WHO FRAGGED THEM I JUST WANNA KNOW IF THEY'RE AS SOFT AS THEY LOOK!!!!

ScienceSorcerer: My oh my, what scandalous treasures, do share more with the class! For historical and scientific purposes, of course.

Oiler69: No way, you can't just Post that! Do you have more, Post em up already, need more Proof!

_Heavyhaul: Hey, hey, keep it in your panel's mechs. That photo wasn't released with their consent, it's not cool.

Tin_Bin25: Here is another.

It's a new photo showing the Ambassador lying back against pillows in a low cut silk robe, one hand trailing lazily across their collar while the other grips a metal servo their face pressed against one of the digits as they kiss it, gazing at the camera with hooded eyes

How's that for proof, sceptic? I've got permission for their personal photoshoot, even let me post without hiding their face. Bet your spikes would glitch seeing them like this in person.

Scope_ridge: *venting noises* Frag me sideways, they look good enough to eat! This is officially the best solar cycle ever.

Bar-rizzla: Why, they positively glow with sensuality! One can only imagine the debauchery that inspired such provocative portraits.

StarFielder: Seriously, does anyone have any idea who the lucky mech was? Gotta be someone important...

WPHAS-violation: my Shanix is on it being an officer right? Bet it was Magnus!, rather tasteful compared to the stuff I make.

Con_Spiracy: got me wonderin' - think any other bots have been sampling alien delights?

SunRunner: Whoa, hold up- you've got a whole collection? Heater's firing up over here! *fans self jokingly*

Pimptheride: Hey mech, wanna pass those images over? How much you asking for?

Bar-rizzla: I've got enough engex to trade for a peek! C'mon Tin, help a bot out with his late night activities...

_________

Let me know if you would like to be added to tag list (tagged for every fic)

Taglist

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[businesstiramisu]

Just finished Several People Are Typing and I see why @peripapaya rec'd it to me so highly, this is EXACTLY my jam

I'm a little flabbergasted that it's tradpub and not.... on ao3 or someone's blog??? Not in a snob way at all, to be clear, I think it's great if Doubleday wants to publish really excellent chatfic. But for me this story feels like The Northern Caves or Caught Up in Our Stories or Q.A.B. and it's messing with my mind to get the same kind of experience from an ebook I got on Overdrive.

(Note: this does mean if you like SPAT, there's a wealth of similar content to find on AO3! I highly recommend the first two links above -- TNC is an original work, and CUiOS can be read canon-blind.)

Well, okay, two caveats on that claim: First, genre-wise Several People Typing is more like Bellweather (dysfunctional workplace comedy) or Welcome to Night Vale (similar type of wacky-existential-horror, also gay). Although I'll note that the three AO3 works i linked above are all very different genres from each other as well -- the common thread is the epistolary-for-the-internet age format. Which is a thing I happen to enjoy a lot, so if you want more recs just ask. I could keep going...

Second, SPAT is a purely a chatfic, whereas the three stories I linked above are *impressively* multi-media. And they do some really brilliant things with that formatting!! SPAT, on the other hand, does some brilliant things with the *constraints* of it's text-only, trad-pub formatting. Tripp & Beverly's subplot, in particular, relies on the fact that all the emojis are written out text codes (:thumbsup: instead of 👍 and of course the infamous :dusty-stick: ).

I will say in the realm of pure chatfic, I haven't seen much on AO3 that rises to the heights of SPAT in my esteem. Maybe The Origin of the PresAux Sexy Group Chat (though it's very short); Adventures In Attempting To Purchase A Book From That Weird Old Soho Bookshop, A. Z. Fell & Co. (why do these all have such long titles) if you want to count forum posts as a kind of chatfic; and of course the deservedly-much-lauded RE: Thesis defense issue (definitely check out the article it's based on as well) if you want to count emails. I love all three of these a lot. But SPAT has a little more meat to it. Gerald and Pradeep's developing relationship, the whole thing with sunsets, Gerald's (and Slackbot's) philosophical meditations on corporeality... I'm not saying it's the deepest thing I've ever read but there's some interesting stuff there!

I mean, okay, I'm not a super philosophical reader, I was mostly here for the fun characters and wacky workplace drama and even wackier metafictional elements. 99% of chatfic on ao3 is just recycled memes and, frankly, i like a lot of those too. But sometimes you do find chatfic with a little more actual plot and characterization... still, Several People Are Typing is really is a cut above the rest. Which only makes sense b/c it's made it through (presumably) something like a traditional publishing gauntlet.

[elluendifad]

what do you think are good resources for someone who wants to get into Elf Religion?

there's quite a lot floating around out there, luckily! most of the effort comes in hunting it down and winnowing out what works best for you! there's also lots and lots of mixed or multi-source elf stuff out there, i just work primarily with tolkien sourced stuff. i can't comment much on other sources, so what i list here will be tolkien based or tolkien adjacent at the least! reading the fullness of the legendarium, not just the silm but also HoME and other texts, will also help you find what feels right.

so before we get to the long stuff, i really recommend you go through t-e/wal's website first and look at the statement of faith, valar page, and loa page. that's a pretty good summary of the most basic parts as far as belief goes. practice is something you can make unique to you! t-e/wal has a very modern-festival-paganism vibe to their rituals. i-v is doing modern western 'shamanism' (quotes bc that is a stolen name and i don't condone its use, but the alternative 'imaginal gnosis' is unwieldy and not commonly used).

if you already have your own favorite magical practices, you could find ways to adapt them to the loa and the valar! have fun with it! some of us do lots of magic, some of us mostly do worship. it can be as complicated or as simple as you want. this list comes from a collection i have been working on since 2022 and lists both orgs and individuals posting their own experiences.

T-e or wal : a shortening for Tie Eldalieva which changed its name to Way of Arda's Lore in 2024, which is a religious organization based in the usa for tolkien religionists. They (meaning a few of their loremasters with high overlap wth I-v) have worked on the loa and astronomy of the legendarium extensively. their resources are great and pretty universally used and tweaked by tolkien spiritualists of all kinds.

main website link https://elvenspirituality.com/

facebook , old name and older content https://www.facebook.com/elvenspirituality

facebook, new name and newer content https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61559024296013

youtube link https://www.youtube.com/@elvenspiritualpath

they currently have years of public virtual rituals and discussions on essays or white papers written by their lore masters. their membership overlap with i-v means i-v lore masters will sometimes appear in their videos.

I-v : a shortening for Ilsalunte Valion, a gnostic group closely related to T-e but with different motivations which has done a lot of the imaginal work and loremastery to make tolkien religion a rich possibility for many people. Their approach is less public, but deeper and more personal, than T-e. they focus a lot on gnosis and meditative exploration and use different ritual techniques than t-e/wal.

ilsalunte-valion main website http://westofwest.org/

the main feature is the forum, which you will need to register as a member to see most of.

Dave, a founding member and loremaster of both t-e/wal and i-v has a collection of more recent writing that is relevant to both organizations and people curious about them. found here https://hackmd.io/@EriolElwin/rJrwhaDaR

hewal : a shortening for High Elven Wisdom and Love, which is the youtube channel of Kmberiel Eventide. Kimber-el/Kimberel/Kimberiel is a starseed and mystic, and overlaps with tolkien religion enough that she joined and assisted T-e in getting legal religious recognition before parting and going her own way again.

while hewal has been inactive for several years, some of her videos are tolkien-specific and she made and posted the vala-specific informational videos for t-e/wal when she joined them. in those videos (still on t-e/wal's youtube and i think on hers as well) she goes through each mention of the vala in the legendarium texts book by book. this can be very helpful for someone that isn't absorbing the same summaries from the tolkien gateway website.

hewal youtube tolkien specific playlist https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbW2r96baVJy1_ItxeeuFKrfde3HdgAH8

she has tolkien relevant videos not in that playlist so make sure to snoop around.

ES : a shortening for Elven Scholar, which is the youtube channel for Earendil Spindelilus, who was once of T-e but does his own work for loremastery and runs an online school. looks like he stopped posting youtube videos about a year ago, but his facebook group and school still have some activity.

youtube channel here https://www.youtube.com/@ElvenScholarMusings

his online school http://www.elvenscholar.org/

warning: there are no state or federal agencies that license herbalism in the united states. his claims that his courses will award you the title 'certified herbalist' are vanity titles only. all those interested in herbalism should thoroughly investigate the legal licensure status of herbalism, naturopathy, and nutrition and dietetics for their nation and state. (afair naturopathy and nutrition/dietetics are licensed in the usa and cannot be practiced without legal license.) if your nation and state has no licensure process for herbalism, look for the self-regulatory bodies developed by professionals of that field and learn the base standards of education assumed for that field by that body. in the united states, this would be the american herbalists' guild and the american botanical council.

this last one is a little controversial in that alyras was formerly a founder and treasurer of t-e, and due to usa incorporation laws, was considered the only remaining board member of t-e when they ousted her, which is the reason t-e had to change their name to wal legally. i don't understand the situation but the tea is spilled lmao. i do still use and enjoy her reference book with lots of modification and ignoring what i dont care for. she also uses ai generated images for her website, which really rubs me the wrong way. i think her urls being so visually similar to t-e/wal's is on purpose.

her work is very new age and also centered in music. i do enjoy the tambour drones a lot for meditation!

her org website https://yanaeldalieva.org/about.html

there should be a link for her handbook somewhere in there, which is a gift in exchange for donation. dm me if you need help finding it, as the website has been re-arranged since i last saw it.

alyras/yana eldalieva facebook https://www.facebook.com/elvenspiritualpath

alyras youtube https://www.youtube.com/@elvenspiritualpathmusic/videos

[musiccomplete]

Hi! I saw that you dig obscure NO interviews and fan forums. How do you do it? Do you use Usenet/Usenet archives?

Getting out of my slumber for a moment. (thank you for asking :P)

I've slowly built up a bunch of defunct websites through old Wikipedia revisions and the websites you generally find in your beginning to search for this kind of thing, joydiv.org, neworderonline, worldinmotion.net. Rolling through the wayback machine is very fun! My favorite defuncts are feeleverybeat, which I still use as a source for Electronic stuff all the time, and Ceremony which is just such a beautiful relic of its time.

I keep a long list of bookmarks in a folder called "for special eyes" of things that i know are interesting and know I'll read later. For example I have this interview saved in a bookmark and for the life of me i don't remember how i found it. (new-order.net is very strange...)

Another method is to use google's various tricks for certain key terms like looking up ("bernard sumner" -"joy division" woman) which will get results that say bernard sumner, do not say joy division, and will be steered towards those that mention women. You'll often find some really obscure articles this way. The best way to get around paywalls is archive.today btw.

There's blogs like mycuttings and the beautiful constantly feeding user-generated mdmarchive. Some other magazine archives I've found on flickr and sometimes elsewhere.

Worldinmotion never went offline and it has a large sum of strange hidden pages like the newsroom. Neworderonline also never went offline and so you can literally manually type in numbers on its articles' urls and just read from there. There's so many!

I've actually never used Usenet or read an archive of it before. But... there is an archive of a mailing list from the late 80s that went until the mid 2000s that is just dripping with information. I've spent hours reading and rereading specific threads and I'm only in 1997. I also don't remember where I found it because it doesn't appear on normal search results. Viola: FAC33 Mailing list. This will consume many hours of yours, set aside some time. Don't read it during work or school, okay? It requires full attention.

I've made a post on my SpaceHey documenting a handful of NOsites I've come across and categorized. I could doublepost it here if that would be useful to anybody.

And if you're still not satisfied, ask Chris he's been doing stuff like this way longer than I have.

[annolii]

so… i’m back. i think it’s been a couple of weeks and some change since i’ve been active on here, just graduated college and now i’m job hunting. life for me is pretty shitty right now unfortunately. the wattpad account i ran got terminated for reasons i still don’t even understand, and tumblr decided to delete the sylveris account too.

first time i came back, while going through the hassle of tumblr forums and reddit because i didn’t really want to create a new account, i wanted the one i had already established back. but that led me no where so i had to create a different one anyways.

i posted notes about talking about my old blogs, the new girl group i had planned, and the whole thing with ‘onya’. which, by the way, was just a dumb joke i made calling it my alter ego. and then… boom. the account just vanished almost a day or two later i think, and before anyone starts with the conspiracies: no, i didn’t just deactivate for fun or for the reasons you think. tumblr flagged my account. some bullshit about ‘suspicious activity’ or whatever vague excuse they gave me. tried to get it back, and it was just gone.

so i was pissed again and fed up.

writing notes, trying to reconnect with mutuals, and it just got wiped again. i didn’t have the energy to start over right away, so i stepped back. plus the world i was living in at the time for me wasn’t safe mentally.

not going to expand on that.

but coming back now? i’m scrolling through tags and blogs and apparently there’s someone out here stealing my layouts, my style, my character concepts, and just slapping them onto multiple fake identities like it’s nothing. not just mine either, other creators i know too. like, genuinely what the fuck?

i spent years perfecting my craft. from my wattpad days where people would steal my work constantly, to coming here thinking it would be less commotion. it fucking sucks to watch someone come in, rip off my stuff, and then ruin the connections i had with my mutuals and audience. it’s not just inspiration when you’re lifting entire layouts, styles, and even character ideas. it’s fucking lazy and it’s stealing. call it what it is.

let’s also talk about the timing since i’ve read that some of you are side eyeing it. i’ve seen the asks floating around,

saying how weird it is that i deactivate and this person pops up like clockwork. let me make it clear: i don’t know who the fuck that is. the only thing i know is that they’re biting my style and dragging my name through the mud with their bullshit. it’s not me. not an alter, not a side blog, not my new persona or whatever conspiracy y’all cooked up. it’s someone out here feeding off my work and trying to play it off as their own.

i remember a while back, someone copied my talk blog. like, same format. i vented to another creator about it, called it out, and guess what? they deactivated. because they knew. now i come back and it’s the same shit, different day. find this laughable or tell me it’s not that serious because it’s fic. but i’ve been dealing with this for years prior to tumblr. getting your work taken from you again and again is exhausting regardless of what kind of work it is.

and @envysvine why are you still around? fuck you and deactivate your shit because you’re still taking bits and pieces of my style after your bum apology. i’m not gonna sit here and let it slide anymore. i’m tired of watching my work get picked apart like this.

if you want inspiration, ask. if you want to take ideas, credit. it’s not hard. just stop being a fucking thief.

[mallory-x]

It's that time again, when Mal decides that everything in her life will be fixed with one simple thing that's going to be the solution to all her fuckups AuDHD. This time I'm going back to bullet journalling!

Got myself a nice B5 size journal (sadly not purple) and just need to get (or make) a cover (purple. or pink. with a bit of purple) for it. I've done bullet journalling before and it does help, so long as I remember to check it and update 🤣

This time I've printed out an A5 sticker with a one month checklist of daily metrics. I'm using them as prompts, rather than a 'must do' list, so that I don't burn myself out trying to keep up with an unrealistic schedule. I'll be recording in Health, Home, as well as Happiness categories so that everything isn't boring chores!

Health:

Brush teeth (I'm 45 and ADHD brain doesn't remember to brush my teeth every day)

Shower (if i have a run of too many days off and don't need to leave the house, I don't shower until I get gross. See above re ADHD brain)

Exercise (I'm trying to do another monthly pushups challenge with the Mr Sadman server)

5 Happy Things (I used to be on a Ravelry forum where when people were feeling down, they'd post a list of five happy things. They could be really small, really silly, or really important. It didn't matter. What did matter was that there were always enough things in your life that made you happy that you could find five of them to list. I need to focus on that a bit more, I think - I encourage anyone reading this to join in and post their own!)

Home:

Laundry

Dishwasher

Hoover

Progress (Hi, I'm Mallory, and I'm a hoarder. Not as bad as some, and living with Mr Mallory helps keep it in check, but. I definitely have a problem. I need to reduce my clothes, shoes, and craft supplies, and to organise the bedroom, living room, and craft room so that they're useable and not embarrassing if we have people over)

Happiness:

Knitting

Crochet

Sewing

Writing

Adding the fun stuff to the same list so that I don't 'punish' myself by withholding the activities that give me the good dopamine because I haven't completed all the chores. Life is about balance.

I'm not doing any fancy layouts or calligraphy or washi tapes etc. This is a functional tool to help with a neurodevelopmental disability, exactly as it was intended. The only fancy thing is that I'll be using four different colours of ink (Zebra Z Grip ballpoint pens in pink, purple, blue and green) so that my metric chart looks a bit pretty, and I'll be cycling through one colour per day so that my daily diary section is easy to differentiate by date at a glance.

So, today's five happy things!

Lazy cuddles on a Monday morning with Mr Mallory because we're on holiday this week!

We enjoyed a lovely steam train ride and series of boat trips today

I'm writing old-school drabbles (exactly 100 words) for Dreamling Week

I signed up for this year's Dreamling Bingo and I'm really excited about my prompts!

I have a wonderful group of pocket friends who support me and appreciate me 🥰

[watery-melon-baller]

so I was bored and reading through older Merlin fanfics when I got curious and wondered what exactly the oldest Merlin fanfic was, so I decided to do some digging! join me on this journey I made at 4am on my phone knowing full well I had to get up at 9am the next day

the shows first episode aired on Sept 20, 2008 so we are keeping that in mind when we search. also all fics I found here are linked at the bottom if u wanna go check them out :-)

First I decided to check ao3 since it's easy enough. there's 53k fics but this was the very first one in the Merlin tag

the author's note says that this was written immediately after the second episode which makes sense since this was 8 days after the 1st ep.

also love the my first work in this fandom tag. my guy. you're one of the the first people to write fic for this fandom, and THE first to post it on ao3.

next was fanfiction.net. Now I used to hang around on here quite a bit in my youth so I do know how to navigate it somewhat

merlin is the 12th most popular TV show on fanfic.net! With a whole 27.3k fics. I'm very interested by the fact that there's only 27k on fanfic.net while ao3 has around 50k fics (as of Oct 2023). I was expecting fanfic.net to have more fics, I wonder why it's the other way around this time. Maybe it's because by then ao3 was already in existence and established as a reliable place to post fic? I know lots of older fic writers only posted on ao3 as a way to have a backup of their fics? If anyone has any theories feel free to contribute!

and here's the first fics posted on fanfic.net! All by the same person on the same day. I'm assuming faults is the first one posted since it's at the bottom, but alk of them were posted oct 12, 3 weeks after the first episode aired. Pretty old, but not as old as the ao3 fic.

Finally I checked livejournal (shudders). I've used it a few times before but I was very unsure how to get around, and wound up just searching the oldest results for "Merlin BBC" (and here's the link to that if you wanna bounce arohnd and see old fandom stuff from the first episode)

The first (and oldest) post I found was someone reacting to the trailer which. fair. Just because the cgi is shit doesn't mean the show is (yes it does </3)

besides a few posts speculating about the show I also found the origin of the Merlin tag/community on livejournal, created just a day before the first episode aired. it also includes some lovely icons (and people made many many more after the 1st episode aired)

most of the posts after this were people's reactions to the 1st episode. a lot of them were positive, a lot were already shipping merthur, and a few were negative

this is my favorite review actually. understandable reaction.

and finally we get to our first fic on livejournal!! this one was posted Sept 23, just 3 days after the show and 5 days before the one on ao3 was first posted. it looks like we have our winner and this is the very first BBC Merlin fanfic ever written/posted!!

(I have no clue what other forums/websites were active at the time since I wasn't part of the fandom then. I checked these 3 websites because tbats what I know of but it appears that out of of these three livejournal has the oldest fic. If anyone knows where else Merlin fic was posted and can find an older one then this then feel free to share it but for now it's safe to say this one is the oldest fic in the fandom)

that concludes our journey folks! I've linked all 3 fics at the bottom if you're interested in reading them and now you can brag and say you've read the oldest fic in the Merlin fandom. congrats. i hope you had fun reading this

ao3 fanfic.net livejournal

[oyasumi-ashurii]

Okay, so it might be a little hard for me to cohesively put all my thoughts and feelings into why I care so much about Final Fantasy VIII, but because of the 25th anniversary and seeing a lot of you talk about your love of the game I'll try the best I can. So here's my embarrassingly and extremely long personal history with the game and why it will always be my favorite.

Before FF8 I was mostly a Nintendo kid. Mario and Zelda were all I really knew, and as a hyperactive as I was I didn't really have the patience for anything story-heavy that took a lot of reading. Though I did I get a PlayStation later on I hardly bothered with anything other than Spyro or Crash. Anything similar in graphics to FF7 or 8 was mostly foreign to me too, with maybe the closest being my cousin having the first Resident Evil and I was far too young and too scared to bother with anything like that. So you can imagine the complete and utter shock kid me had going to my uncle's and seeing him play FF8 for the first time. I don't think it had been out too long but he was already on disc 3 in Esthar and, bless his soul, he let me play his save for a while. Being able to fly around the map on the Ragnarok?? The realistic proportions and animations in battle?? The absolute BANGER of a soundtrack?! All of it had me excitedly begging my parents to buy me the game. Nine year old me didn't know roman numerals, though, just that it was called Final Fantasy with some weird lettering. I had no idea of Final Fantasy as a series and I didn't know it was the eighth game or that there were eight of them at all. I couldn't remember what the cover looked like either and my uncle not long after that was going through his own personal troubles so I wasn't able to visit or ask him. We didn't have internet at home until the early 2000s (it was AOL dial-up too, jesus, I don't miss that) and my parents were strict about internet use, so I was stuck. My dad did eventually buy me an FF game as a surprise when I was eleven, and lmao can you believe I was genuinely upset because it was Final Fantasy VII?! That being said, I have an INSANE amount of love and respect for 7. Considering how much easier I think the materia system is to understand for newcomers, having it as my first, full FF experience was a bit of a blessing lol. FF7 hit me in a different way than 8 did, and maybe I'll make a post about it sometime.

So other than the brief times on the internet (I was only allowed on for an hour or two before I was kicked off) and reading gaming magazines I had hardly any access or knowledge about FF8 until years later. I knew the characters briefly and read some small stuff here and there about the world, but that was it. Even so, I STILL loved it. I would draw them (I've drawn most of my life, and I still do occasionally as a fun hobby), write about what I thought they were like, so, so much of me embarrassingly obsessing over it and driving my small group of friends in school bonkers (oh lordy I just remembered my preteen username I had used on an FF forum and now I'm cringing.) You get it. So why did I cling to the game so much, even though I barely played it? Why did it mean so much to me? Because around the time I was twelve I was deeply depressed, and throughout my middle school and early high school life video games and their stories were the only joy and comfort I had. I'm not going to go into much detail because it feels too personal to write on tumblr about and I'd rather not think back too much. If you want the gist it was at a moment in time I was mostly on my own. I felt isolated and alone, and due to growing up in and around strict, conservative circles I struggled with feeling far behind my peers, so my personal and school life suffered. Things got better though and I'm happy in my life now, so that's really it.

As I got a little older I had played other FF's and RPGs in between that I also fell in love with (especially Kingdom Hearts) and funnily enough horror games, but I still didn't get my hands on 8 until I got it on my fifteenth birthday and I was over the moon. That night and many nights and weekends after that I played every single bit of that game. I had printed walkthroughs and a guide of the junction system, with overly-detailed notes I had scribbled down and highlighted. I had written down all the rules of triple triad, weapon upgrades, item refinements and what you get from monsters, side-quests, all of it. I had never went all in into a game before, but I did it because I wanted to experience the game that gave preteen me comfort everything it had to offer. And I remember vividly when I finished it I cried until I was almost out of breath.

But you know, I didn't get emotional because of the nostalgic school-like feel and inspired real-world setting, or the overall main plot with magic, sci-fi and sorceresses. It wasn't even the deeply interwoven love stories, the theme of fate or the gameplay either, though I grew to love all of those things dearly with time.

It was because I was a socially-awkward and lonely fifteen year old girl that watched an equally as awkward seventeen year old boy overcome his own deeply-rooted fears and trauma and come out at the end of it all on the path to healing.

And I knew I'd be okay, and ever since then this game has and will always be that reminder and comfort for me.

Thanks for reading.

[ar-guile]

Writer tag game!

Tagged by @ramatetsu

When did you start writing?

It depends on what you mean by 'writing'. My roleplaying career began when I got my mom to sign a permission slip to mail to the Neopets HQ (a literal piece of paper, sent through the post office) to let me access the forums. Under-13s weren't allowed, you see.

Fun fact: I failed creative writing in high school and almost couldn't graduate! tbh I only started writing on my own when I was like 27

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I enjoy scifi and speculative fantasy, especially when the worldbuilding is allowed to affect the story and characters. Those finicky pedantic little details are where I live, but I tend to write on a smaller scale where that doesn't come into play so often.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I sit sideways in an armchair and write on my phone. Everyone wishes it didn't squeak when I rock. That's too bad. Squeaksqueaksqueaksqueak

Sometimes I think I'd enjoy a chaise lounge or a fainting couch (in a fantasy life where we have a real living room), but I know I'd miss the rocking too much.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

It used to be music. Now that I'm old, I think of how their quirks intersect with regular life until something snags my brain to drag me outta my own head and into someone else's.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Declaration of autonomy in situations where the characters have limited control over their circumstances. Building a life in spite of the futility. Some know what they're facing from the beginning, some start out thinking they have it all under control and find out just how wrong they were. Tone varies from fluffy to grim, but I always gotta have some humor in there or I'll die

(I had to get help with this question... and then I got called out)

What is your reason for writing?

Part of me wants to say it's a propaganda campaign for whatever my brain is orbiting around, but for that to be true I'd need to actually share the stuff I write instead of letting it sit on my hard drive. I mostly just enjoy the process of getting a story out of my head and onto a page. Words are fun!

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I hope they look between two stories narrated by different characters and have trouble believing they're written by the same person. Voice is my strongest trait by miles and miles. My characterization isn't always what matches the common fandom interpretation, so while it might hit some people the wrong way, there's a chance it'll Open Their Eyes To Another Way.

(If not, hate is still a strong emotional reaction so I'll take it lmao)

How do you feel about your own writing?

I have a sliiiight superiority complex, but I really agonize over my writing so I figure that's for the best? Gotta feel good about the stuff I torture myself over

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I would get bored if I were writing for other people more than myself. That gives it a unique flavor, too. If I do what makes my brain buzz instead of trying to be palatable, it's waaaay more likely to hit those notes for someone else.

I sound so full of myself with these questions and that's kind of hilarious. I'm actually way too shy to tag anyone so if you wanna fill it out you're absolutely welcome! Yes that includes you even if we've never exchanged a single word

[meat-loving-meat]

Nuclear weapons AU snippet to answer @bluewingedcoyote 's question about Tylendel

I LOVE making supplementary multimedia stuff for fanfics, so this snippet is meant to be a Something Awful (or. well. the Valdemaran equivalent of Something Awful.) thread with comments from several different users about Tylendel's death announcement. Idk if it'll make it into the final fic (if there ever is a final fic lmao), but it was SO MUCH FUN to make. Hopefully I'll find the time to make it into a doctored screenshot at some point!

It's kind of long, so no pressure to read it btw! Posting it just in case you're curious and have some time to kill.

Original forum post from user 0:

This makes me sick to my stomach:

www.heraldiccircle.gov/anouncements/oct2007/tylendelfrelennyeobituary

Comment from user 1:

For anyone too lazy to read the full announcement, a summary: Tylendel was just 17 years old. He died by calling a Final Strike after an unexpected airstrike killed his Companion, Gala. The last thing he did before dying was lead 20 refugees through a Gate to safety. He was posthumously promoted to Herald status to honor his and Gala’s sacrifices.

To reiterate: Tylendel was 17 years old. 17. He wasn’t even old enough to vote in the country that sent him to war. He was planning to take online classes in praxographical studies once he graduated secondary. He ran a gimmick [MySpace] account where Gala would try to type out inspirational quotes with her nose. By all accounts, he was funny and loving and joyful and seventeen. 

He hardly ever posted pictures of himself online, so there are only a few to showcase here. www.imagehostersite.com/albums/remembering-tylendel-frelennye

I’m in shock that Valdemar, a country so deeply obsessed with righteousness and upright morality, still has fucking child soldiers. I feel sick that Tylendel, a boy the same age as my little sister, killed himself to protect us, when us adults should have been the ones protecting him.

Comment from user 2, quoting user 1:

Hey can someone tell me what the photos are? They aren’t loading for me

Comment from user 3, quoting user 2:

The image hosting website is experiencing really high traffic, so that’s no surprise. Here are some descriptive captions:

1. A professional portrait of Tylendel Frelennye riding Gala in a vibrant green field. Tylendel is wearing a gray set of formal riding wear, and his blond hair is mostly hidden by a helmet. He is smiling at the camera with one hand resting on Gala’s neck. Gala is wearing ornate ceremonial tack. She has her head turned to the side so that she can make eye contact with the camera.

2. A slightly blurry photo of Tylendel Frelennye sitting in the rubble of a collapsed, burned-out building. He is wearing military fatigues and has a rifle resting across his lap. He is laughing with his head thrown back and his eyes closed.

3. A screenshot of a [MySpace] post from the account LendelLendel. The post contains a photo of Tylendel Frelennye and another boy, whose face has been censored with a cluster of black pixels, asleep together in a plush armchair. The chair is almost too small to fit both of them, even with their feet propped up on an ottoman. Tylendel’s left leg rests over the other person’s right, and the other person’s head is tucked against Tylendel’s shoulder. The lighting is low and warm. The post is captioned, “The best way to celebrate our one year is with a nap, apparently.”

Comment from user 2, quoting user 3:

The description of that last photo is so heartbreaking. Does anyone know who the boyfriend is?

Comment from user 4, quoting user 1:

Fuck you’re so right about the child soldier thing. I can’t believe that he was allowed to fight. What do the Companions have to say about this???

Comment from user 5, quoting user 4:

So I’m a lurker on heraldspotting.net, and there is all kinds of speculation over there about this, but to sum it up, the majority of Herald Trainees never see fighting until their internships, and it’s almost unheard of (at least in recent memory) to send a minor to a combat assignment. However, from the size of his Final Strike, Tylendel Frelennye had a very powerful Mage Gift—the prevailing theory is that things are much, much worse than the government is letting on, and the Circle felt they had no choice but to use Tylendel’s Mage Gift to fill the gap left by Eivaran’s death. In response to the recent outcry, they released the minutes of the meeting where they made the decision to send Tylendel—mostly just to prove that the King’s Own Companion supported deploying him—and several Heralds and even a few Companions opposed sending him, but they were in the minority. 

It’s painful to admit, but Tylende Frelynnye prevented a massive incursion of Karsite forces and he likely killed upwards of half a dozen of their mages. I can’t speak to whether the ends justify the means in this case, but from a purely utilitarian perspective, sending him was the correct choice. I have relatives who would have been displaced from their homes without his sacrifice, and many Valdemaran lives will be saved with the deaths of those mages. It breaks my heart that a child had to die for that, but I can’t say without qualification that it was the wrong choice.

Comment from user 6, quoting user 5:

Child soldier apologist spotted ^^

ASDLKDFJKLSDFLK ANYWAY. THAT'S HOW TYLENDEL DIES IN THIS AU

[ificouldhelpyouforget]

As an old fuck in the fanfiction space, here are my hot takes and pet peeves from recent changes:

*Disclaimer: these are merely my opinions and I'm not hounding anyone for doing these things (well, most of them...), so don't be hateful.

TEASERS: Nothing annoys me more than teasers. I will see a good looking fic and try to read it, only to be disappointed. I often won't return to the fic either. The teasers of a screenshot of what you're writing? Doesn't bug me at all. But a whole ass post designed like a chapter is being posted? I'm out. Also, for anyone who does do teasers, please do not post teasers or placeholders on AO3. It's against the site's policy/rules (TOS I believe) and you will get reported.

DO NOT INTERACTS: I get it. You don't want to get in trouble if you post smut and a minor talks to you or anything, but you can also simply not respond to ageless or underage readers. I know some sites you can't, but that's on you to decide who you'll interact with. Don't put the responsibility on others when you can only control yourself. As for other DNI types... like, why? You're posting on public forums. People of all types are gonna see it, so, like... it's kinda useless. Frankly, it makes me never want to read your stuff (not that I think you care).

PAYWALLS: Fan creations are always in that gray area of this, but fanfiction is one of those things I personally never want to see behind a paywall. It feels extra scummy making money off something like fanfiction, but that's me. People who make fanart do this and it doesn't really bother me, but I get grossed out when it's fanfics. You'll probably never see me give your content public interactions because of paywalls (again, I know you don't care).

BLOCKS OF TEXT: Barring that many don't write in the English format or have English as a second language, blocks of text are overwhelming and not fun to read. I'll click off fics if I see it's a single block of text. I know Tumblr has strict paragraph rules at certain word limits, but please spare my poor eyes. A new paragraph starts a new subject and new dialogue from each character. Do not have two characters speaking in the same paragraph. But I do understand that it may not be well known to do that when writing.

TAGGING: Please, for the love of God, only tag what is in the fic. I understand you want views, but nothing drives me mad more than when I'm looking for a specific tag and get a lot of fics that have nothing to do with what I'm trying to find. For example, I read a lot of Stray Kids fics specifically about my bias. But the tag will be full of fics of different members and my bias is nowhere in the fic. Please, spare everyone scrolling endlessly through unwanted fics because you didn't tag correctly.

THE PURITY AGENDA NONSENSE: Just because someone writes or reads something that is illegal, taboo or gross in real life DOES NOT MEAN they think it's okay. Age gap of 10+, noncon, dead dove, dubious consent, sex involving minors, etc. does not at all determine what the author or reader thinks is right. The beauty of fanfiction is the ability to explore these things in a safe place that does not harm anyone. And I see people getting mad about characters of certain sexualities getting swapped to a different one, but that's another thing about fanfiction, you can do whatever you fucking want to the characters. Fanfiction came about because people wanted different outcomes or wanted to alter characters. It's fun to explore and the point of fanfiction. We have GOT to stop bullying authors and readers for what they read and write. Fanfiction is a chill place to explore a lot of different avenues of life.

I'm sure I have more icks, but this is what I can think of. I get there a plenty if people who disagree with me, and that's fine. These are my personal issues and opinions as someone who has been part of the best era of fanfiction so far. You are free to disagree with me, but hateful and rude comments will not be tolerated.

[that-one-lotr-orc]

One post gotta be the first

So, for me Reddit finally died. As a programmer who is generally in favour of making stuff available for as many people as possible, they did right by that for many years. Giving everyone who wanted that access to it was generous of them, and made it a very fun platform. Random bots everywhere, apps catered to whatever preference people had, even -dare I say it- the tiniest bit of the wild-west-internet that once existed. But they got to greedy, flew to close to the sun, whatever analogy you want to have for it. I don't fault them wanting to make money off that, hosting is expensive, but the way they lied to everyone, attacked the Apollo developer for outing their lies, "riding the storm until it died out", it was too much.

So now I'm here, hopelessly lost in land I only got glimpses of on r/tumblr. I don't even know why I write this. I doubt many people will read it, or even see it. It's my first Tumblr post, and it probably will be very rambly, incoherent, and missing any kind of red line. The shortest answer to "Why I wrote this?" is probably "Because some google doc in '#tumblr help'" told me to post stuff!".

And I'm bad at posting stuff. I never done it. In the olden days, when forums were all around, I was a lurker. I'd read about everything, posted when I actually had something relevant to say, and shut up otherwise. I was known within the communities, generally active in the adjacent msn/skype groups, but not on the main spam threads in the forum.

When the forums began to die out, I got on Reddit. My account is 11 years old now, I've been using it almost hourly over the last 6 years, and it has a grand total of 9 posts. There's a bit more comments in that, but it's probably basically nothing compared to the average comments per hour spend on other accounts.

Why do I tell this? Because I might change that here. I've been lurking around Tumblr for the last few weeks, and the interaction and people are way different than I'm used to. Honestly, it's refreshing, and nice to see. But entering a new environment, one has to adept.

And I've been stuck too long in my old habits! I am often hesitant to contribute to anything, because I never did. I don't write, because I never wrote. But having a new environment, new people, new interest around me makes me wanna try out new stuff. And who knows? Maybe I'll like it, maybe I'll find people who like what I write, and I'll have more stuff to interact with.

And maybe I don't. Maybe I'll feel too unsure, too self-conscious, to change my lurking habits. I'm fine with that. I got other places to interact about my passions. Most of them are through Discord-groups nowadays, others through the few still-existing actual forums out there, but they still exist.

That's my last thing. I don't know what I even write about. Some of my interest are too different from the usual Tumblr-niches to have any kind of following. While typing this I had a look at the "enlisted game" tag, which has a grand total of 1 active poster. I had some looks at the different Magic the Gathering tags, but (as I expected), most of the people in there are about more about the lore of the game than I do. That's fine, I got my spike-talking places, and I will probably lurk those tags anyway.

The one place I'll probably feel most comfortable is the Brandon Sanderson-aligned tags. I'll be there, maybe even contributing, once I finished the last books (or I find the appropriate tags to block, I probably gotta look into that).

That uncertainty makes me circle back to a point a made a few paragraphs ago. I can explore, I can try out new stuff. Maybe I'll try to add to some of the punk tags here, maybe I'll hop onto some of the computer science tags and see if I can wordvomit there, maybe I'll go to something completely new! I can go exploring again, discovering things I never saw before, and that makes me eager.

[catonator]

Lol, internet

The largest imageboard in Finland, Ylilauta and its offshoot Northpole (rip in peace) had a major faux pas this week. Threads older than 2 weeks are now placed behind a paywall. Imagine if Discord set message history behind a Nitro subscription, and you have the gist of it. The latter board was just flatout killed off due to legal issues.

This majorly pissed off the users, and as a result my fringe alt-imageboard (won’t name the one, rules of the internet 1 & 2) got a surge of new users. However, the results weren’t as I feared! While Ylilauta isn’t really representative of smaller corners of the internet like it once used to be and nowadays is closer to a modern social media platform, the users who showed up were still willing to play along the rules of the smaller board, even if they ended up mostly asking stupid questions. Watching the entire thing unfold was quite fun, actually, and really reminded me of the kind of stupid shit I used to do online about 15 years ago.

The noob raid ended up reminding me of how you actually learn to be a fun part of the communities you happen to stumble upon. Observation. Lurking. You learn new things by reading the old users and seeing what this place is just about. It’s an image board, you don’t even have accounts! You can just stick around and watch!

Search engines and the internet didn’t die because of corporate greed and SEO. Well, just because of corporate greed and SEO. The internet died, because we, the users, collectively all jumped to places like Twitter, Tumblr and Discord. Especially Discord. The internet has always been a haven of user-generated stuff (for better or worse…), but sometime in the past 10 or so years we all decided to stop making it available. Twitter is a collection of barely coherent thoughts in posts that can barely encompass a full sentence. Many good posts are spread across dozens of tweets, usually out of which one at most is indexable, but often the entire thread is missing. Tumblr is a blogging site where the users stopped blogging, and the blogs aren’t visible to outsiders because fuck you. Discord is an instant messaging application meant to compete with fucking TeamSpeak that through sheer user laziness and insane overreach managed to overtake forums, and the message history is completely inaccessible unless you have an account and an invitation to the server.

The result is that all of human knowledge is now contained on like 5 sites, most of which are never going to be accessible to outsiders. For the past decade, we have unknowingly waged a war on lurkers, and in the process driven them all into extinction.

The issue is, lurkers are mostly those who aren’t newcomers. They’re the ones who have learned to keep their mouth shut and try finding a solution first and foremost. The questions they do eventually ask are also the ones that are going to be the most specialised, and also useful to other lurkers. They share personal experience and anecdotes, ideas they tried out but didn’t work for their purposes. They share abstract, multilayered concepts that simply aren’t something that can be demonstrated or proven algorithmically.

The sites that exist and rule the landscape today are practically fraud. What they sell is not funded by them, nor is it created by them. They sell the writings, media, humour, anecdotes and other forms of bizarre interactions that we, the consumers create. Without any user activity, these media megastructures would simply shrivel up and die, as there’d be nobody driving eyes onto the site. They don’t really deserve anything besides maybe being paid for the server costs, which still constitute a fraction of a fraction of the total revenue generated.

But nothing prevents you from just leaving. The internet doesn’t suddenly end when you walk out of YouTube or Instagram. Sure, you can’t just upload your data onto The Internet itself, but the way the web was constructed means that you haven’t lost your rights to obtain a small webhost and an address and setting up your own ramshackle site. You’ll just pay in discoverability.

Internet users need to be reminded that the concept of the internet isn’t just a technology that transmits data to a small number of applications, it’s an interconnected series of servers, clients, more servers and more clients. A server can be any computer you can find with a little tweaking, and as long as you have a router and an internet connection, that’s all you need. You can forward the computer’s IP address and make it behave like a website. The internet was created by users, for users, and so far there’s nothing that can take that away from you.

The change isn’t going to manifest itself overnight, and I also wouldn’t recommend jumping out headfirst into the abyss, leaving everything else behind. It’s just good to know the possibilities anyone can have at their fingertips, as I’ve seen more and more people wallow in misery over the state of current and future internet. Maybe if enough people create wacko self-hosted sites as side projects, we may one day not need sites like the one I’m publishing this text on right now. And if you’re you’re interested and are willing to dive through some tech jargon, this talk by Mr. Cory Doctorow was an incredibly fascinating listen, and provides some solutions to fixing the issues from the perspective of a higher-level operation. It still contains some tidbits of info for you, if you’re concerned about how you’ll move your userbase from one platform to another with as little compromise as possible.

Now, I’ve had enough of this wistful nostalgic hopes bullshit. Next time I’ll just write a story.

[starberryshuu]

Deity

Luca’s Darkest Discovery

Luca had spent hours going through Julie’s online presence, lurking in every shadowy corner of her digital past. It was supposed to be a harmless little investigation—find more embarrassing baby pictures, maybe some old emo posts.

But then… he found it.

A name that kept appearing. A name none of the others had ever heard her say.

The Third Lotus Prince.

At first, Luca thought it was just some random historical figure. Maybe some cool warrior she admired? But the deeper he went…

The realization hit him like a truck.

Julie—Julie—was obsessed with a deity.

A literal Chinese god.

And not in some casual, “Oh, I respect his story” way. No.

This was next-level obsession.

He scrolled through her likes, saved posts, retweets, ancient forum comments buried in the depths of the internet.

Fanart. SO MUCH FANART. Some historical, some… very modernized (read: disrespectfully attractive).

Essays. Deep, passionate analysis of his story, his struggles, his loyalty, his badassery.

Aesthetic posts. Lantern-lit temples, crimson and gold robes, weapon designs—all with captions like “he’s watching over me” or “one day, we will meet” (?????)

A cursed Reddit thread. Where Julie defended his honor like her life depended on it.

A Weibo account. Following artists who drew him like some divine heartthrob.

Luca’s eye twitched.

This was like fawning over Jesus’ abs. Like having a crush on Zeus but specifically his feet. Like simping for the concept of enlightenment.

And no one else knew.

His first instinct? Expose her immediately. Laugh in her face, call her a nerd.

But then… a wicked idea formed.

Oh, he could have so much fun with this.

********************

Luca’s Sinister Plan

At first, he considered the direct approach. Walk up to Julie, stare her dead in the eyes, and whisper, "I know about your god boyfriend."

But no. That was too easy. No fun.

Instead, Luca decided to play the long game.

Phase 1: Subtle Psychological Warfare

It started small. Too small for her to notice.

He began casually mentioning lotus flowers.“You ever notice how cool lotuses are? Pure even in the dirtiest waters… kinda poetic, right?”

He changed his phone wallpaper to some random “cool” painting of the Third Lotus Prince. Kept his phone angled just right so Julie would catch glimpses of it.

He started dropping random Chinese idioms about loyalty, battle, and “divine punishment”—stuff she had definitely read in her deep dives.

He left a small lotus charm on her desk. No note. No explanation.

Phase 2: The Dream Scenario

Luca was patient, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

One day, when they were all in the lounge, casually scrolling through their phones, he suddenly sighed, stretching dramatically.

“Man… Chinese mythology is so cool. Especially Nezha—”

Julie jerked. Visibly.

“—y’know, the warrior prince? Rides on fire wheels? Loyal, fierce, a little rebellious?”

He glanced at her. Her eyes were glued to her phone, but he could see her soul leaving her body.

The others barely reacted—because no one else knew.

Luca smirked.

Then, the kill shot.

He leaned back, hand over his heart, and said, almost dreamily:

“Honestly? If I had to follow a god… I think I’d want it to be him.”

Julie’s entire posture stiffened.

A tiny, sharp inhale.

Busted.

She turned so, so slowly toward him, eyes narrowed.

Luca met her glare with a perfectly innocent smile.

Checkmate.

***********************

Julie’s Cold, Calculated Response

Luca had won this round. He knew it. She knew it.

But Julie wasn’t going down without a fight.

She exhaled slowly, placed her phone down, and turned to face him fully.

The room was still. Too still.

And then— she smiled.

Dangerous. Unreadable.

Luca’s grin faltered. Oh. She’s up to something.

“That’s interesting, Luca.” “You know,” Julie continued, voice dangerously sweet, “I read somewhere that people tend to idolize figures who represent what they lack in themselves.”

Luca’s smirk twitched. He felt it. She was flipping the script.

“So tell me…” “Why do you feel so deeply connected to Nezha?”

A ten-second silence.

Yoru looked up from his phone. Chamber stopped swirling his wine. Iso side-eyed the entire exchange.

Luca laughed lightly, tilting his head.

“Oh, Julie… you wound me.”

“No, really,” she pressed, resting her chin on her hand, eyes deadly curious. “Is it the loyalty? The unwavering devotion? The constant struggle against divine authority?”

Luca leaned forward, mirroring her posture. Game on.

“Well, what about you, Julie?” His voice dipped into something silky, teasing. “Why are you obsessed with him?”

Julie’s smile didn’t waver.

“Because he’s everything a man should be.”

And just like that— she ended him.

Luca felt that one in his soul.

Yoru choked on his drink. Iso blinked. Chamber let out a low whistle.

Luca? Destroyed.

He collapsed back into the couch, hand over his chest.

“God, you’re cruel. I should’ve expected this.”

Julie, satisfied, picked up her phone again, ignoring him completely.

But Luca wasn’t done.

No. This was war now.

He pulled out his phone and, within seconds, found something diabolical.

Phase 3: Retaliation

He turned the screen toward her.

A random, ridiculous drama adaptation of Nezha as a handsome, long-haired warrior prince—shirt half-open, dramatic wind blowing through his robes.

“So this,” Luca said smugly, tapping the screen, “is what does it for you?”

Julie didn’t even look up.

“Luca, if you show me a single thirst trap edit, I will kill you.”

Silence.

Then—

Luca smirked.

“Oh, so you admit they exist?”

Game, Set, Match.

*********************

The Unholy Trinity vs. Julie

Yoru, Chamber, and Iso were watching. Listening. Trying to understand whatever the hell Julie and Luca were on about.

Julie looked calm. Luca looked smug. Which meant nothing good.

Yoru narrowed his eyes.

“What… are you two talking about?”

Luca, still grinning like the devil, turned to them slowly.

“Oh. I just found out…” he drawled, savoring every second, “that our dear Julie has a thing for a certain… legendary figure.”

Silence.

Chamber blinked.

“A man, you mean?”

“Not just any man,” Luca sighed, dramatically, throwing an arm over the couch. “A god.”

Julie’s jaw clenched.

“Luca.”

But he was on a roll.

“She’s obsessed with Nezha.”

More silence.

Iso frowned.

“Like… the Third Lotus Prince?”

Yoru snorted.

“A literal deity? Julie. Seriously?”

Julie refused to look at them.

“I hate all of you.”

Chamber, too entertained, leaned forward.

“This is rather fascinating. Is this some spiritual devotion?”

Luca grinned.

“Oh, no, no, no, mon ami. It’s not spiritual.”

“It’s thirst.”

And that’s when they lost it.

Yoru laughed, head thrown back. Chamber chuckled, shaking his head. Iso just stared. Processing. Judging.

Julie, done with life, covered her face with both hands.

But they were just getting started.

Chamber: “So you fancy warrior gods now? Should we all start wearing divine robes?”

Yoru: “I get it. It’s the long hair, isn’t it? Julie has a type.”

Iso: “…You like men who defy the heavens. Noted.”

Luca, watching his masterpiece unfold, placed a hand on his chest.

“I have done my duty.”

Julie?

Julie was considering murder.

*******************

Julie's Eternal Shame

Julie stared at the ceiling. Wishing for divine intervention. Or a meteor. A meteor would be great.

Because these bastards—

"A god, Julie?" Yoru smirked, leaning back. "A literal, untouchable, never-gonna-happen deity?"

"You could've picked anyone," Iso added, too calm, arms crossed. "But no. A mythological warrior prince with—what—flaming wheels?"

"And three heads in some versions," Chamber helpfully supplied.

"Oh, so she likes variety," Luca grinned.

Julie considered the window. Could she just… jump?

"It's not—" she tried. "I just think—he's—"

Yoru tilted his head.

"Go on."

Chamber gestured elegantly.

"Please. Elaborate."

And Luca? The little shit was already giggling.

Julie exhaled sharply.

"He’s just—cool, okay?"

"Cool," Iso echoed, deadpan.

"Aha." Chamber nodded. "Yes. And his physique?"

"His… physique?" Julie blinked.

"Would you describe it as… divine?"

Yoru snorted.

"You all need therapy," she muttered.

Luca, grinning like a menace, wagged a finger.

"No, no, no. You need therapy. Because we all know—"

"—that you're down bad for a god."

Julie grabbed the nearest pillow and hurled it at Luca's face.

But it was too late.

The damage was done.

***************

Julie lost spectacularly.

She sat there, arms crossed, enduring the smug stares of four insufferable men who were having the time of their lives at her expense.

Luca? Smug. Yoru? Smug. Chamber? Refined, elegant smugness. Iso? Not even trying to hide his amusement.

"So tell us, Julie," Luca leaned in, chin on his hands. "Would you leave us all for your flaming-wheel god?"

"Yes," she deadpanned.

Chamber let out a dramatic sigh.

"To think we never stood a chance."

Yoru clicked his tongue.

"Tch. Be honest—it's the abs, isn’t it?"

Julie glared.

"I hate you all."

"That’s not a no," Luca sing-songed.

And Julie knew.

This wasn’t ending anytime soon.