#and ridiculous/pleasant discourse

[littlesparklight]

Got the (foolish lol) idea to go through some of the works I know give physical descriptions of at least some Trojan war characters and collate them. They aren't in alphabetic order, sorry, but the works/authors are colour coded, at least!

I'll do this in two parts; this one for Achaean characters, the next one for Trojans. Watch Philostratus fanboy over Palamedes and Protesilaos (why????) and marvel, when compared to basically everyone else's description, across all works!

Helen The Iliad: 'terribly does she seem like the immortal goddesses to look on' (spoken of her, not narration), divine/shining/noble among women In Hesiod and other works she is given the xanthos = blond/auburn/etc epithet Dares: Helen resembled Castor and Pollux. She was beautiful, ingenuous, and charming. Her legs were the best; her mouth the cutest. There was a beauty-mark between her eyebrows. (Castor and Pollux: they were twins, blond haired, large eyed, fair complexioned, and wellbuilt with trim bodies.) Malalas, Chronographia: full-grown, well-dressed, with fine breasts, white as snow, with beautiful eyebrows, a beautiful nose, shapely, curly-haired, blonde-ish, with big eyes, charming, with a beautiful voice, a formidable sight among women. She was 26 years old. Tzetzes, Antehomerica: white, with soft skin and beautiful eyebrows and nose. Her skin was so white and bright as if it was made of snow. She had lovely breasts and a pretty face; she had languishing and large eyes and a melodious charming voice; she had long, curly, blond hair; she was well-behaved and perfect in everything she did; she was a lot more beautiful than all the other women, just like the moon is brighter than all the stars in the sky. At that time she was twenty six years old.

Agamemnon The Iliad: '[…] tell me the name of this gigantic man. […] To be sure there are other men even greater in height, […] handsome, nor so majestic, for he seems a kingly man.' Dares: blond, large, and powerful. He was eloquent, wise, and noble, a man richly endowed. Philostratus, Heroicus: Agamemnon and Menelaos were alike neither in appearance nor strength. […] He looked majestic and magnificent and like the sort of person who offered sacrifice to the Graces. Tzetzes, Posthomerica: white, big, of a wide chin and dark hair. He was well-bearded, well-educated, resembling the blessed ones.

Menelaos The Iliad: xanthos = blond/auburn/bright, 'standing towered with his broad shoulders. Dares: moderate stature, auburn-haired, and handsome. He had a pleasing personality. Philostratus, Heroicus: Agamemnon and Menelaos were alike neither in appearance nor strength. […] [he] wore his hair boyishly long, as was the Spartan custom, and the Achaeans made allowance for him when he was visiting, since they did not mock those who came from Euboea even though their hair was ridiculously long. He says he conversed most easily and very concisely, mixing pleasant speech with his discourse. Tzetzes, Posthomerica: the bodily frame smaller [than Agamemnon]; he had a breadth, though. He had a red skin, dense beard and blond hair.

Odysseus The Iliad: 'lesser in height than Agamemnon […], but he seems broader in the shoulders and chest.' (Also shorter than Menelaos.) Dares: tough, crafty, cheerful, of medium height, eloquent, and wise. Philostratus, Heroicus: extremely skilled in public speaking and clever, but he was a dissembler, a lover of envy, and praised malice. His eyes were always downcast, and he was the sort of person who engages in self-examination. He appeared more noble than he was in military matters; surely he was not well versed in preparing for war, in commanding naval battles and sieges, or in drawing of spear and bows. Tzetzes, Posthomerica: middle-aged, pot-bellied, white, with plain hair, nose looking down and fiercely glaring.

Achilles Dares: a large chest, a fine mouth, and powerfully formed arms and legs. His head was covered with long wavy chestnut-colored hair. Though mild in manner, he was very fierce in battle. His face showed the joy of a man richly endowed. Philostratus, Heroicus: For Achilles' physique appeared startling and divine […] When he became an ephebe, a brightness radiated from his face, and his body was beyond natural size, since he grew more easily than do trees near springs. […] hair is thick, lovelier than gold, and becoming no matter where and how either the wind or he himself may move it. His nose is not quite aquiline, but almost so; his brow is crescent-shaped. The spirit in his eyes, which are bluish-gray, casts off a certain eagerness even when he is still; when he is rushing on, they spring out along with his purpose, and then he seems more lovely than ever to those who cherish him. (long hair until Patroklos dies) Tzetzes, Posthomerica: tall, of a beautiful chest, graceful in everything, white, of blond curly and thick hair. He had a big nose, melodious voice and the eyes of a woman. His glance was terrible, in a race was swift-footed; he had long legs and scanty beard.

Patroklos Dares: handsome and powerfully built. His yes were gray. He was modest, dependable, wise, a man richly endowed. Philostratus, Heroicus: Patroklos, although he was not much older than Achilles, was a divine and sensible man, […] In size and bravery he was between the two Ajaxes. He fell short of the son of Telamon in all things, but he surpassed both the size and bravery of the son of Locris. Patroklos had an olive complexion, black eyes, and sufficiently fine eyebrows, and he commended moderately long hair. His head stood upon his neck as the wrestling schools cultivate. His nose was straight, and he flared his nostrils as eager horses do. Tzetzes, Posthomerica: middle-aged, potbellied and well-bearded. He had blond hair, red skin and lovely face.

Ajax, the son of Telamon The Iliad: 'outstanding among the Argives in height and broad shoulders' ; repeatedly called only second to Achilles in everything but looks. Dares: powerful. His voice was clear, his hair black and curly. He was perfectly single-minded and unrelenting in the onslaught of battle. Tzetzes, Posthomerica: brave, great, quick, with a nice nose and curly hair; He had a dark skin; he was well-bearded and grim-looking. He was more beautiful than everybody, except for Achilles.

Ajax, the son of Oileus The Iliad: lesser [than Ajax the great] by far, for he was a small man […] Dares: stocky, powerfully built, swarthy, a pleasant person, and brave. Philostratus, Heroicus: appeared less intelligent [than Diomedes and Sthenelus] […] looking fierce, and throwing his long hair back Malalas, Chronographia: tall, strong, tawny, squinting, good nose, curly hair, black hair, thick beard, long face, daring warrior, magnanimous, a womanizer. Tzetzes, Posthomerica: tall and had bright eyes. He was nice, had long face and dark curly hair.

Diomedes Dares: stocky, brave, dignified, and austere. No one was fiercer in battle. He was loud at the war-cry, hot-tempered, impatient, and daring. Philostratus, Heroicus: steadfast and having eyes that are blue-gray and not black at all and a straight nose; his hair was woolly and dirty. […] modest upon rebuke, checked the eruption of his anger, and refused to insult the troops or to be disheartened. He himself considered it appropriate for an army to appear unwashed, and he commended sleeping in any opportune place; his provisions consisted of what was available, and he did not take pleasure in wine unless troubles came upon him. Diomedes and Sthenelos were the same age. Tzetzes, Posthomerica: [he had a] body that was worth of four young men. He was in good shape with a flat nose, narrow neck and blond hair.

Sthenelos Philostratus, Heroicus: a good size and towering, gray-eyed, with an aquiline nose, fairly long-haired, ruddy, and hot-blooded. […] lacked Diomedes' insight, his power of speech, and his patient endurance which belong to both soul and body. He gave way to anger, was contemptuous of the throng of battle, was savage upon being rebuked, and was prepared for a more delicate lifestyle than was needed for a military camp.

Nestor Dares: large, broad and fair. His nose was long and hooked. He was a wise adviser. Philostratus, Heroicus: (statue, but also the real man?) with a beard that is majestic and well-proportioned; his ears display what he went through at wrestling school, and his neck is restored to its strength. In truth, Nestor stands upright, not defeated by old age, with black eyes and without a drooping nose. Tzetzes, Posthomerica: big, had a nose looking downwards and a fiercely glaring. He had a long face, flame-coloured skin, blond hair and he was wise.

Antilochos The Iliad: Younger than the rest. Philostratus, Heroicus: Because Antilokhos was still young and not mature enough for war when they assembled at Aulis, his father did not agree to his wish to serve as a soldier. (he arrives in the fifth year.) For Achilles' physique appeared startling and divine, but that of Antilokhos seemed to all to be pleasant and gentle. […] Antilokhos resembled Nestor, but that he was swifter, trim in physique, and paid no attention to his hair. He gave me the following details about Antilokhos: He was most fond of horses and hunting with dogs. Tzetzes, Posthomerica: younger than the other Achaeans. Almost a boy, he was white, with a beautiful neck and a big nose. He was storm-footed, provoked fear with his eyes and a beard just sprouting. He was blond with beautiful hair and grey eyes.

Neoptolemus Dares: large, robust, and easily irritated. He lisped slightly, and was good-looking, with hooked nose, round eyes, and shaggy eyebrows. Philostratus, Heroicus: he was good-looking and resembled his father, but was inferior to him in the same way that beautiful people are inferior to their statues. Malalas, Chronographia: of good stature, good chest, thin, white, good nose, ruddy hair, wooly hair, light-eyed, big-eyed, blond eyebrows, blond beginnings of a beard, round-faced, precipitate, daring, agile, a fierce fighter. Tzetzes, Posthomerica: red hair, that's why many had called him Pyrrhus. He was of young age, white or somewhat grey, the colour of the milk; He had beautiful nose and chest, hair curly and was daring; He hadn't ever been hurt, embittered, reckless and of a too wild temper; Thin tiny hair was growing from his beard.

Palamedes Dares: tall and slender, wise, magnanimous, and charming. Philostratus, Herocius: So then in height he was the same as the greater Ajax; in beauty, Protesilaos says, he vied with Achilles, Antilokhos, Protesilaos himself, and with the Trojan Euphorbus. His soft beard was springing up and with the promise of curls; his hair was cut close to his skin; his eyebrows were noble, straight, and came together above the nose, which was perfect as a square and stately. The resolve of his eyes appeared unshaken and fierce in battles, but when he was at rest their gaze was full of comradely affection and affable; he also is said to have possessed the most marvelous eyes among mortals. And in truth, Protesilaos also says that when he was naked, Palamedes weighed halfway between an athlete and a lithe person, and that he had a toughness about his face that was much more pleasant than the golden locks of Euphorbus. Tzetzes, Antehomerica: He was tall, white, with his hair blond and filthy; he was slim and had a long face; he was a servant of wisdom and of Ares. His hair was blond and visibly dirty, because he didn't trouble himself with stupidities like his hair.

Podalirius Dares: sturdy, strong, haughty, and moody.

Nireus The Iliad: the most beautiful man to come beneath Ilion of all the Danaans, after blameless Achilles. Iphigenia in Aulis: repeats the 'most beautiful after Achilles' description.

Machaon Dares: large and brave, dependable, prudent, patient, and merciful.

Idomeneus The Iliad: Older than most of the rest, gray-haired. Malalas, Chronographia: above average height, dark-skinned, good eyes, well set, strong, good nose, thick beard, good head, curly hair, a berserker when fighting. Tzetzes, Posthomerica: quick, had a dark skin, of middle age. He had a short curly hair, wide chin and beautiful nose.

Meriones Dares: auburn-haired, of moderate height, with a well-proportioned body. He was robust, swift, unmerciful, and easily angered. Malalas, Chronographia: shortish, wide, white, good beard, big eyes, black hair, curly hair, flat face, bent nose, quick-moving, magnanimous, a warrior. Tzetzes, Posthomerica: short; he had wide shoulders and beautiful curly hair. He was white; he had crooked nose, nice chin, wide face.

Philoctetes Philostratus, Heroicus: his hair was gray because of age (he was about sixty years old), he was more vigorous than many of the young men, his gaze was most fearsome among mortals, his words most brief Malalas, Chronographia: a good height, well set, dark skinned, eyebrows meeting, brave, good eyes, good nose, black hair, hairy, sensible, accurate archer, magnanimous. Tzetzes, Posthomerica: tall, beautiful, of dark skin and with meeting eyebrows

Protesilaos Dares: fair-skinned, and dignified. He was swift, self-confident, even rash. Philostratus, Heroicus: He is about twenty years old at most. Because he sailed to Troy at such a young age, he has a full, splendid beard and smells sweeter than autumn myrtles. Cheerful eyebrows frame his eyes, which gives him a pleasant, friendly manner. When he exerts himself, he looks intense and determined. But if we meet him at ease, ah, how lovely and friendly his eyes appear! He has blond hair of moderate length. It hangs a little over his forehead rather than covering it. The shape of his nose is perfect, like the statue's. His voice is more sonorous than trumpets and comes from a small mouth. It is most enjoyable to meet him naked, since he is well built and nimble, just like the herms set up in race courses. His height is easily ten cubits, and it seems to me that he would have exceeded this had he not died in his early twenties. Tzetzes, Antehomerica: a lovely face and courage in his eyes; his hair was blond and long; his skin was smooth and dark; he was bold, graceful, with beautiful body and beard; he was vigorous, although much younger than Antilochus.

Calchas Malalas, Chronographia: short, white, all grey, including the beard, hairy, a very fine seer and omen-reader. Tzetzes, Posthomerica: small, white, thin and shaggy-haired. He had his hair grey in the front and white the rest of it.

[anotherhumaninthisworld]

Do we know the favorite books that the French revolution figures liked to read? (It could be anyone, Robespierre or Saint just or Louis xvi it doesn't matter).

Much like this old ask about revolutionaries’ favorite dishes, I can’t say I know of any instance of someone exclaiming: ”this is 100% my favorite book,” but at tops people mentioning books that they thought were good or bad:

In his memoirs, Brissot writes he’s picking up Rousseau’s Confessions for the sixth time, so I guess that could qualify as a favorite book? send help

We have this list of books seized at Robespierre’s place after his death.

According to the memoirs of Élisabeth Duplay, Robespierre would read ”the works of Corneille, Voltaire and Rousseau” for her family in the evenings.

In a short biography over Desmoulins written in 1834, Marcellin Matton claims his favorite book was René Aubert de Vertot’s Histoire des révolutions arrivées dans le gouvernement de la République romaine (1719), of which he always carried a copy. Matton is an infamous romanticizer it’s from him we have the stupid leaf myth for example, but I’m willing to give him some leeway here since he could have obtained the information from Camille’s mother-in-law and sister-in-law, who were his friends:

In one of his first classes, he received Vertot's Révolutions romaines as a prize. Reading this work transported him with admiration; in the future, he always had a volume in his pocket. It was for him an indispensable companion, it was his vade mecum. He used or lost at least twenty volumes. It is perhaps to this excellent work and to the particular work that he did on the discourses of Cicero and especially on his Philippics, that we owe the lively and sharp style which distinguishes all the writings coming from the pen of Camille .

Desmoulins was however less fond of Rousseau’s Confessions, in number 55 (December 1790) of Révolutions de France et de Brabant he admits that he abandoned the book after getting infuriated by it:

Not that I idolize J.J. as I did in the past, since I saw in his Confessions that he had become an aristocrat in his old age. How far he was from looking at an Alexander with the pride of this Cynic, to whom he is compared, and how painfully I saw that he united the opposite faults of Diogenes and Arisippus! It is a pleasant thing to hear the author of the Social Contract protest in his Confessions about the simplicity of the commerce of such great lords (M. and Madame de Luxembourg) he cries with joy, he wants to kiss the feet of this good marshal, because he wanted to accompany one of his friends, an office clerk, for a walk. Is there anything smaller, more ridiculous? I received, he says elsewhere, the greatest honor that a man can receive, the visit of the Prince de Conti, (an honor that Rousseau shared with all the girls of the Palais-Royal.) At this point I tossed away the book out of spite, and I admit, that I had to reread the speech on equality of conditions, and Julie's novel, in order to not hate the philosopher of Geneva, like Durosoy and Mallet du Pan; for the same principles, in the mouth of such a great man, are more condemnable and worthy of aversion than in the mouths of our two gazetteers, whom God created poor in spirit, and predestined as such to the kingdom of heaven.

In a diary kept over the summer of 1788, Lucile Desmoulins mentions reading L’Âge d’Or (1782) by Sylvain Maréchal (of which she also copied two verses, Le Trésor and Le contrat de mariage devant la nature, in a notebook the year earlier), Les Idylles et poèmes champêtres (1762) by Salomon Gessner, L’Hymne au soleil, suivi de plusieurs morceaux du même genre qui n’ont point encore paru (1782) by Abbé de Reyrac (where she wrote down the verse La Gelée d’avril), Nouvelles lettres anglaises, ou Histoire du Chevalier Grandisson (1754) by Samuel Richardson and  Les Noces patriarchales, poëme en prose en cinq chants (1777) by Robert Martin Lesuire.

In his memoirs, Buzot mentions enjoying the works of Rousseau and Plutarch:

With what charms I still remember this happy period of my life which can no longer return, when, during the day, I silently roamed the mountains and woods of the city where I was born, reading with delight some works of Plutarch or of Rousseau, or recalling to my memory the most precious features of their morality and their philosophy. Sometimes, sitting on the flowering grass, in the shade of some thick trees, I indulged, in a sweet melancholy, in the memories of the sorrows and the pleasures which had in turn agitated the first days of my life. Often the cherished works of these two good men had occupied or maintained my vigils with a friend of my age whom death took from me at thirty, and whose memory, always dear and respected, has preserved from many errors!

Wow any chance you can sound even more like an 18th century man stereotype, Buzot?

…and that’s basically all I can come up with for the moment. But add on if you know anything more! @louis-antoine-leon-saint-just @lazarecarnot maybe you would like to share your favorite books with us if you have any?

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary536

3/19-20/25

wednesday - thursday

long day,

but very good. i did some stuff today, for textures, or just redstone, i touched it up a bit to add some more depth to it... which feels good. but today mostly i was out of the house, for a very long time, and it was all good, and it was also all of that particular character, of being out, it being a long time, and mostly the night continues happening, a long stretch, each thing that follows the last as automatic as continuing a stretch, this is to say, difficult to narrativize.

one point of tension was between our friends we went out with last time, they just... this is so ridiculous, it's like letting two crabs into a bucket, they just start snipping one another... and it's over... not even israel palestine, which they agree on, it's a horrific genocide, miserable and terrifying and disgusting and it feels like a nightmare and something people are gonna look back on in terror, but they keep... fighting about fucking ethan klein... it's so worthless. youtube being the lens by which people absorb politics is so scary and bad. i know that makes me sound like a kid or something,,, scary and bad... but idk... maybe not even youtube broadly, there's some okay informative stuff out there... but like, the class of streamer that is ethan and so on... like that's poison. i think he's clearly a clown and too much of a 'lib' when really 'lib' means someone who is maybe willing to say this is all bad, but then say, these hamas guys are bad, the government says they're terrorists. like whatever. at the same time picking on the friend who will admit ethan is stupid for ethan's points is like, she isn't him, she makes the evident. it's just like a brain melting thing. i was thinking maybe, the compulsion to attack him through the vector of our friend, and the need to defend, it's just because this crisis is so bad and upsetting and we feel so impotent generally, that this super worthless discourse is all that's left. salt dried on a dock where a sea once was, our existences worthless when the only worthwhile thing seems like stopping this totally. but we're all probably there, you know. none of us can do it alone... idk... they just need to quit it ultimately, maybe accepting impotence, inability, failure, means laziness or a lack of morals... i don't really think so... i've always tried to do what i can, but i'm worthless basically and poor, i give away when i can, i've tried to make it to events, i've gone to... one thing i guess. i'm sure both of them, being better off, or employed at least, being more mobile, have done more. i know one says she doesn't wanna do this at all, but idk, she will defend him. it feels like it goes both ways, like both want to be right. i dunno.

the other issue with describing everything, is that i am sooo tired.

we went to a couple bars, basically, split off for a bit, some friends got tacos, we got pizza, some people got very drunk but in an pleasant enough way... i talked to a friend, earlier in the night, about aleister crowley, wicca, my mom. she asked if the extremity of that stuff creates a kind of sanity for people, and i said yeah, but that generally ends up being... idk, it's actually a complicated thing, it creates a set of standards and norms by which to grasp phenomena/the world, people, etc, and by doing so everything can be reduced into that method of understanding basically. that's, especially in new age-y spiritual things, always seemed to trend super reactionary and stuff. something to think about.

but my eyes are shutting... tired tired tired... i said i was gonna dress like a whore, today, and i did, here i am, looking slutty:

it was rather cold today... i wore a leather jacket but it's not how i really liked the outfit. it's best like that, when i'm wearing very little. i kind of find wearing not a lot gratifying but maybe that's dangerous and stuff. no one really harassed me today though, probably because it's a weekday, which is good. i really like this outfit with the scarf though i think that is really cute. my gf kept saying i look like... well it's i think kind of obvious. this was sort of a reward for her, her dumb thing wandering around wearing too little. i wonder if it's bad for me to want to be like that for people or if it's okay to want to perform services like something for her to look at while out in public and be like, i dunno, well, it's all obvious, but i don't want to say it explicitly. but you know. i guess a lot of people like me struggle with things like this... it's just part of how i am, i've been like this since i was rather young so i probably can't excise it or maybe that's lazy, maybe though, it's best to say, i've made peace with being lascivious, or an object for receiving lasciviousness, maybe that describes it better. or, i don't really like receiving it from strangers, it is sometimes between polite, to being something mortifying, to being kind of traumatic and making me wanna puke, and all kinds of things between that... but usually people, men especially, make me feel crazy... i've talked about it a lot. but i also have the part that wants attention, and i like receiving it from my gf. why am i even talking about this... oh well... i feel like i ought to, since today was kind of an experiment in being super unclothed. although i've also once been in a one piece swimsuit, and swam in that.

i think maybe all this is more normal than i am thinking, this is just being sexy, isn't it, which everyone likes to be. i just feel so foreign to so many things i guess. i make it sound like some weird thing, but really it's that i want to be sexy for my gf, which is a normal thing to do.

there were some people who walked up to me, towards the end of our night, a group of other queer people, and they talked to my gf and our friend who grind on each other because they really get excited dancing around i guess, not in a sexual way, they just find it really fun. and one was like, you're so cute, and they held their hands out to my face and framed my face, and said i'm not going to touch you, they just did that for a bit. they were all in a polycule and i think they thought my gf and i were in one too. they added her on instagram... i wonder if anything will happen with that. they liked that my thing said tumblr star on it. they talked to me about the onceler a bit.

the sun's coming up now, that's so bad... i want to be normal. and sleep normal. i will sleep now, maybe this won't be catastrophic.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mercy-be-mine]

I really think this discourse over whether we need to start humanizing cursed tomes is ridiculous. All tomes are inherently worthy of protection, and don't even get me started on how far 'blessed' object laws extend in comparison.

The current popular takes are so twitter-level basic, for which I can only really blame our poor public education. For most people, their only experience with cursed tomes are from high school - I'm talking like Evolutions of Eternal Screams vol.4 or Musica Infernale - and it's not their fault.

In reality, every cursed object has been imbued with some aspect of a greater consciousness, a consciousness deserving of autonomy like the rest of us. There are so many types of cursed consciousness, and they're all valid!

Merryk's Catalogue of Lunar Curiosities is one of the strongest defenses of cursed tome autonomy, as Merryk himself lives within the text. The book is a large and well-loved leather journal with inked moon drawings and studies jotted down inside. The text, if you could read it, would detail out certain effects the moon has on home-grown spells during varying times of the year.

But you can't read it.

Instead, the second you start reading, you're awakening into a pleasant wildflower garden. Golden light streams across a contained cottage yard. Sitting across from you on a wicker patio chair with a plate of scones is Merryk himself, who spent thirty years ritual casting himself into a curse so the lonely gardener could enjoy teatime forever. He's well-read and enjoys taking notes from various travelers, sharing stories of his own projects and adventures. He'll offer you the scones and you will decline. You talk philosophy and politics, compare leather-working tools and mending spells.

He offers the scones to you more insistently, but you decline, until he tries to force-feed you. You escape by running into his gardening shed which snaps you out of your stupor. You'll slam the book shut. It wasn't until the invention of the camera that anybody actually read the contents of the book.

It is a curse, after all. However, for all intents and purposes, Merryk lives a full life in his cottage and has a provable existence outside inquiring wizard's drop-in visits. He enjoys lemongrass mint tea and can be physically harmed. Merryk deserves federal protections. Call, email, and write to your government representatives.

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Why do some people in the fandom keep saying Ewan could be up to 6’4 in height? I get that having a height difference can be very attractive, and that a large height difference plays into a lot of smutty fics. But 6 feet is still a big height difference for most women, American especially. It’s stupid I know, but I just wouldn’t want Ewan or anyone else for that matter to think we would be disappointed they were “only” 6 feet tall (which is still a very small percentage of the world unless you live in The Netherlands or somewhere similar).

I've not seen any of that sort of discourse, if I'm to be honest. Mind you, I tend to exist in a bubble. It's been confirmed by one of the costume designers for HotD that Ewan is six foot exactly in height - something they'd have to measure to ensure the costume for Aemond fits, so it does seem odd that people would continue to speculate when facts have been presented.

Google has Ewan, Fabien and Tom's heights all listed as 5'10, which seems ridiculous when they are clearly all very different sizes! As that's people's go to for information it will of course spark to debate, so I'm guessing that's why you're seeing so many people talk about it? I think 5'10 tends to be a search engine's go to height for male celebrities when the precise measurement is unknown though.

There's also the fact that very little is known about Ewan and people like to use him as a blank canvas to project their own ideals and fantasies onto. If they want to make him 6'4 then let them. Ignore and block the stuff that annoys you and enjoy your own fandom experience. It becomes a much more pleasant place to be when you focus on the "I love that I saw this..." rather than the "I hate that I saw that..."

Hope you are having a good Wednesday so far xoxo

[kebberron]

Everything I read in September + some rambles

Good month! Enigma/Tomodachi X Monster/Bags/Judge Bao/Name Of The Game were all thrift store finds and legit all of them were great? Enigma lived up to all the hype I read about it man and it honestly didn't feel like anything else I've read before (I haven't read much vertigo my bad). Tomo x Mon was a bit goofy but by the end of the book it introduces so many crazy ideas with the mon format I couldn't help but respect it? Chainsaw Man keeps being great and this past Pochita arc has been really good. I was a bit worried Fujimoto might have been getting 'tired' of it but these past few chapters have just been crazy good (the statue of liberty scene???). Immortal Iron Fist is dope as fuck but I need to get back to it soon. I'm always a huge sucker for a team up between 2 mantle bearers so the whole Danny/Orson duo has been a joy to read! Plas No More was probably my least favorite read of the month and it's not because it was bad or anything but a) I'm not a huge fan of the whole "comedic character is going through serious stuff" story and b) the way the JL was portrayed was odd and I don't even like the JL like that Damian is my fav Robin so The Boy Wonder was obviously peak 10/10 no notes mr Juni Ba please do this to my other favs at DC thank you king. Also I got my partner to read it too and they loved it just as much so it probably added to the book being a top 10 favorite for me! Ultimate X-Men keeps being a blast to read every issue. I feel a bit bad it seems most of the discourse around the line is centered around USM and maybe the Ultimates recently because this book feels so unique and the cast is always a joy to see. Ain't No Grave was wildly cool. I always knew Young for the stuff he did at marvel so I decided to try this on a whim and bro. Bro. That finale? Bro. Skybound Transformers has now made me a Cliffjumper and Beachcomber stan. I got an omnibus of the Fraction Hawkeye run last Black Friday I think? Either last year or the year before and I just now decided to read it through because of his work on Immortal Iron Fist and yeah it kinda reminds me of when I read both Spencer's Ant-Man and Superior Foes close to one another lol. But real shit? Fantastic book man. The gut punches hit so fucking hard it felt ridiculous going back to the comedy and somehow the book manages to handle those so well it's insane. The Kate subplot was so fucking funny why is Masque like that lmfao

I got really into My Chemical Romance this year and I was huh sure let's try Paranoid Garden and it's pretty good but I feel it will work way better for the trade? That said really excited to see how the mystery plays out. I've been meaning to read more manga beyond CSM so I decided to try out Ichi The Witch because I felt really bad for the artist after what happened with Act-Age and Kagurabachi because of all the memes. Ichi is pretty fun so far and I do really enjoy the protag's philosophy on hunting vs killing. I'm still in the "rougher" parts of Kagura but I can't say it's bad y'know? Like I def see those elements there that will make it better going on. I did a big Ant-Man binge read a few months ago and I thought hey why not try Sword Of Atom too? And it was a pleasant read! I think the 4 issue length puts it in a weird place where it doesn't have enough time to develop the world as much as I would have liked it to but it's short enough that the book ends up feeling like a sword and sorcery movie and that's pretty cool? Ngl tho the Atom I grew up with was Ryan so I'm gonna try the Simone run with him next! The Moon is Following Us/Minor Arcana/The Body Trade I read while on a train and yeah it made that whole ride a lot easier lmao. I think Moon was prob my favorite out of the 3 but that's more because of my love for the creative team behind it! Really hoping Lemire gets to go as long as he wants with Minor Arcana too

Giantkiller is another entry in my desperate search to feel the high I got from reading Simon Dark a few years ago (which so far has lead me to finding really great gems like Hourman/Scare Tactics/Chronos/New Super-Man) and yeah I think it's going to do the trick. My partner said the monster design felt like american cartoons and they were right 1000% as always. There's this weird element of playfullness to them I can't quite describe. I also like that the main duo is called Jack and Jill lmao Bags really feels like it shares a creator with Over the Garden Wall. I won't spoil it but there's a reveal later on the book that absolutely gave me flashbacks to the show. Might re-read it sometime with the soundtrack the original book got! Judge Bao was kinda goofy but in a funny way. Just real dudes just being guys literature right here. Sad the other volumes didn't get translated but I imagine a french comic about a historical figure in china going around solving cases with his team that also doesn't fit on your shelf was probably a hard sell. The Name of the Game was fantastic man. Eisner makes the heavy topics he deals with in the book feel so light that it made me kept reading and reading and reading every time I'd tell myself that's enough for now. He really was a master of the craft man

[a-flappy-bat]

Darling’s lil baby ‘Mitchell McChompChomp’ the shark. (Because @phenanthreneblue wrote THIS)

[al-the-remix]

not to get into Timbits Discourse but birthday cake are 100% the best timbits sour cream glaze sucks

Okay, I’m going to ignore the sour cream glazed disrespect going on here to agree with you, the birthday cake flavoured ones are very good--BUT--A large reason I think that is because they have the same caky dough going on as the sour cream glazed (I also rather enjoyed the blueberry ones for this reason)

[elizabethxjessie]

‘real lesbians’

This is a long time coming, but as a lesbian, I have found some discourse on this tag to be harmful. If you are just here to look at memes and feel validated as a lesbian, please keep scrolling. <3 

I’ve seen so many posts shaming other lesbians and telling them that they are actually ‘not real lesbians’ because had relations with a man before they realised that they were gay. 

Please realise that we all live different lives, and we don’t all experience sexuality and self-realisation exactly the same way. 

I’m going to use the example of my grandmother because it’s the best case for this that I can think of. She grew up in 1940s India where being gay was illegal, and arranged marriage was the only socially acceptable union. 

When I came out to her as lesbian, she told me that it was normal to not like boys and that she too loved women when she was my age, but she married my grandfather despite not having any feelings for him ‘because he was nice’. She told me verbatim that she didn’t actually love him. Obviously they had sex within their marriage otherwise I wouldn’t be here. This doesn’t mean that the sex that they had was non-consensual. She didn’t enjoy it, but they had to do it anyhow. Does this make her any less lesbian? No. 

I’ve seen people saying that you cannot have consensual sex with someone without being attracted to them. Thus, apparently lesbians who have consented to sex with men in the past aren’t ‘real’ lesbians. This completely erases the experiences of gay and lesbian people forced into relationships due to cultural or societal pressure. This pressure is still very real, whether it results in arranged marriage, or a lesbian being in a relationship with a man in order to convince herself that she’s not actually gay. 

The idea that lesbians and gay men aren’t valid if they had relationships with people of the opposite sex is completely baseless. Are we forgetting that before it was socially acceptable (in first world countries) to be gay, most gay people just got married to the opposite sex despite not loving them, forever repressing their identities?

Some people still live in environments like this, where being gay would put them in danger or lead to them being rejected by family or friends. So yes, some lesbians repress their identity (consciously or subconsciously), and even have relations with men to escape the reality of their sexuality. 

Was this my experience? No. I personally haven’t had sex with a man, and I do not ever want to. Does my individual experience invalidate lesbians that have had sex with men? No. I can respect that we all have different experiences as we have lived different lives. 

This brings me onto something much more important. How much it sucks to be told what your sexuality is. It’s so hypocritical that people will reply in comments like ‘You’re not a lesbian, you’re bisexual’ or something along those lines. I completely understand that bi erasure is real, and that the idea of comphet can worsen internalised biphobia in bisexual women, but this is completely out of line. I’m sure that there are bisexual women who think that they are experiencing comphet when it’s just attraction, but people should be free to explore their sexualities, and come to their own conclusions. Weren’t a lot of us told by our parents ‘it’s just a phase’ , ‘you’re straight, you’re just confused’. 

Why do we do the same thing each other when we know what that feels like? A lot of lesbians have been repressed in their feelings for so long, and have finally come to understand their lesbian identities, just to be invalidated by other lesbians on this tag. 

Only you can know what your feelings are, so when a fellow lesbian shares their experience in a space that should be safe, how about we believe them instead of trying to invalidate them? It’s absolutely ridiculous to go around telling people what you think their sexuality is when you know nothing about their personal experience and feelings. 

Anyways...Sorry for the rant, please go back to scrolling and have a pleasant day :)

[hieromonkcharbel]

Your tongue longs to jump into argument, but restrain it. It is a tyrant, and you must fight it daily seventy times seven. Fix your mind to your soul as to the wood of a cross, strike it with alternating hammer blows like an anvil. It has to be mocked, abused, ridiculed, and wronged, though without in any way being crushed or broken; indeed it must keep calm and unstirred. Shed your will as if it were some disgraceful garment, and having thus stripped yourself of it, go into the practice arena. Put on the breastplate of faith, which is so hard to come by, let it not be crushed or damaged by distrust of your trainer. Let the rein of temperance curb the shameless onward leap of the senses of touch. With meditation on death bridle those eyes so ready to waste endless hours in the contemplation of physical beauty. Hold back your mind, so busy with its own concerns, so ready to turn to the reckless criticism and condemnation of your brother. Show instead every love and sympathy for your neighbor. Dearest father, all men will come to know that we are disciples of Christ if, as we live together, we have love for one another. Stay here with us, my friend, stay. Drink down ridicule by the hour, as if it were living water. David tried every pleasure under the sun, and at the end was at a loss saying 'Behold what is good or what is pleasant?' (Ps. 132:1). And there was nothing except that brother should live together in unity. But if this blessing of patience and obedience has still not been given to us, then the best thing to do is, having discovered our weakness, to stay away from the athlete's stadium, to bless the contestants, and to pray that it might be granted to them to endure."

Such was the discourse of this good father and excellent teacher, who argued with me in an evangelical and prophetic way, like a friend. And I was persuaded, so that with no hesitation I agreed to give first place to blessed obedience.

(St. John Climacus)

[yazthebookish]

I feel like this shadows discourse will keep on going forever and seeing some readers dismiss his shadows does not sit well with me because they are a fundamental part of who Azriel is.

Shadows different from anything my powers summoned, spoke to. Born in a lightless, airless prison meant to break him. Instead, he had learned its language.

A possible reason to why the shadows vanish around Mor and Elain is:

• While Az is to Mor a dear friend whom she loves, his rage scares her sometimes. She does not accept Azriel wholly because there is a part that scares her. She is a lover of the light, darkness is something she flees from.

As if the first seventeen years of her life, spent in the darkness of the Hewn City, still lurked around her like Az’s shadows.

• Elain sees Azriel from an idealistic perspective, he is her savior and the pleasant companion who sat with her during her lowest moments. She was not exposed to the other parts of Azriel's character, the dark and vicious part. If she did, she will most likely recoil from it. Elain is always associated with sunlight, she needs it, anything related to darkness sucks the life from her.

Every curtain shoved back as far as it could go, to let in as much sun as possible. As if any bit of darkness was abhorrent. As if to chase it away. And seated in a small chair before the sunniest of the windows, her back to us, was Elain.

Elain in black was ridiculous. Yes, she was beautiful, but the color of her long-sleeved, modest gown leeched the brightness from her face. It wore her, rather than the other way around. And he knew the cruelty of the Hewn City troubled her.

The shadows vanishing ≠ he is feeling at peace

If that's the case then why did his shadows not vanish when he felt at peace after his conversation with Gwyn? Why didn't they vanish when there were scenes of him laughing and teasing?

• When he gave Nesta her gift and she jumped to hug him, the shadows around him were swirling. Isnt it said in the book that both Nesta and Azriel see through one another? She does not fear him or his shadows hence the shadows being comfortable around her.

• The shadows seem to give a more enthusiastic reaction towards Gwyn. Gwyn had seen Azriel in a killing rage, she did not recoil from him. She is perceptive and sees Azriel, she gave Az an opening to leave the ring but instead Az teased her about whether she was dismissing him and she said that she wasn't but she knew that he likes to be alone. She also saw through his lie about the dagger and teased him and then kept the conversation going until he calmed down that he didn't have to take out his frustration in the ring and left to sleep.

His shadows did not even tell him that Gwyn was in the ring and Gwyn smiled at his shadows, no wonder they like her.. she acknowledges them.

And since the shadows seem to be their own sentient being while also connected to Azriel, they seem to vanish particularly around Mor and Elain because they don't see him, not wholly. Remember, these two characters love the sunlight so they may find that the darkness/shadows are abhorrent.

In ACOTAR, darkness ≠ evil/bad. 

Linking his shadows to his trauma and how they are the manifestation of everything that he went through is a weak argument simply because Azriel seems fond of them. It does not matter what, Feyre for example, says about them because she is biased and was intimidated by his shadows from the start. What matters here is Azriel's feelings about them and there is no negative notion we get from him about the shadows. Also, Feyre is described to often find the darkness soothing, Rhys is all night and shadows and she finds peace in it unlike Elain who always seeks the sunlight.

In the blinding sun off the turquoise water, his shadows were gone, his face stark and clear. More … human than I had ever seen him. < his shadows are gone most likely because they do not like the sun. This is Feyre POV, she sees him more human than she ever had seen him but newsflash: Azriel is not a human, he is a shadowsinger

Az said, his shadows lingering in the archway, as if fearful of the bright sunlight in the ring. -- A shadow curled around Azriel’s neck, the only one brave enough to face the sunlight..

"But even the silence weighed too heavily, and though the shadows kept him company, as they always had, as they always would, he found himself leaving the room."

Honestly, most of the discourse going on about Azriel's shadows is because of the fact that they never reacted to Elain and when they did they skittered back = recoiled. You can dismiss it but it will remain a fact that they did recoil from her in that scene. Wanting him to be rid of his shadows for Elain is him abandoning his identity and who he is to fit in with someone else. If that is the suggestion then it's safe to assume that Elain won't be able to handle Azriel's darkness. She can't give him the light because she needs someone to give it to her, he doesn't have enough light to sustain himself let alone give to to someone else but he also finds comfort in the shadows.

Which two characters are the most identical? Nesta and Azriel and this is why they understand each other easily. Elain couldn't handle Nesta at her worst, could she handle Azriel and his rage?

Who managed to break through Nesta easily? Gwyn.

Who managed to calm Azriel's rage in one scene Gwyn.

All of this is based on what was present in the books and my own interpretation of the connection of the shadows to these characters.

[ichor-and-symbiosis]

some thoughts on the bnharem situation

i don’t understand why the debate of aging up characters for smut is making a comeback. when things were still buddy-buddy between people, it was totally alright for 18+ blogs to write aged-up scenarios. but now that there is bad blood, suddenly it’s a crime? make it make sense. 

ya’ll were simping for the big blogs until drama happened and you are not friends anymore. that’s not my business and i won’t deny someone the right to be angry over feeling like they have been slighted by someone they considered a friend. but spinning the story into demonizing writers for aging-up characters, when you had no problem with it before, is a ridiculous take that’s affecting a lot of other blogs now. if we’re going to spread this mentality then it should be done out of genuine conviction and not from people who were okay with big blogs writing aged-up scenarios when they were getting the attention they wanted from them. 

another issue currently making its rounds is the fact that certain blogs have not been honest about their ages. i think we, as adults in this fandom, can all agree that minors writing smut is not an issue in of itself. please write whatever you want. we’ve all been there before. the real issue here is that adults could be consuming nsfw content from blogs that could be run by minors. we want to know your age because we don’t want to consume your content. it’s wrong. minors sharing smut with other minors is fine, at least for me. we are all humans with urges. but it is wrong for servers run by adults to allow sharing of smut written by minors, especially when there are other adult members in the group. 

it is also wrong for minors to follow 18+ blogs run by adults. we have this rule for a reason. if you want to read smut from us then that is your business. lord knows that i started reading smut when i was really young, but i never interacted with the people who wrote this content. i just read it and moved on. if you want to read it then so be it, i genuinely don’t care. i just don’t want minors following me or speaking to me about nsfw content. 

and another thing that’s been brought up is how weird it is for adults to talk to minors at all. are you people serious? in what world is it grooming when adults and minors communicate? obviously there can be genuine grooming occurring. obviously adults can say some shit, minors can say some shit, it can always go wrong. but there are also good adults here who have no ill intentions. your own server has a mix of minors and adults speaking to each other. so what we’re not gonna do is bash big blogs for speaking to minors. HOW it was done remains to be seen. we need the evidence to see if inappropriate conversations were had. if the proof shows it, then i will absolutely believe your words and i will support you. but i have seen minors taking this idea and running with it and claiming these adults are pedophiles. if you have a problem with it then don’t go looking for adults to talk to. if we are going to be hardline about this then adults and minors should never communicate and they should never mingle on discord. we can’t cherry-pick here because these accusations are SERIOUS. 

throwing around the word ‘pedo’ for blogs that age up characters is ridiculous and it needs to fucking stop. the students are loved by the adults in this fandom because of their personalities and because their current appearances have the potential to look attractive when they become adults. that’s how i choose to see it and if you think that’s pedophilia then that’s on you. 

i’m also seeing discourse about another writer plagiarizing work. this has already been addressed by the writer, they have apologized to the person they wronged, they are on good terms now, and there has been no instance of this happening again. people are discussing how this writer has expressed feeling insecure about reading other people’s works because it makes them feel some type of way about their own writing, and this is being used as proof of the writer not supporting other blogs or picking and choosing which blogs they support. all of this is being used as a ‘gotcha’ moment by the blogs that are bringing up these issues.

who the fuck cares. if the plagiarism was already publicly addressed and the dispute was resolved, then we need to leave this shit in the past and allow people to grow and change for the better. and using the whole insecurity thing as somehow proof of character? like this person is terrible and unsupportive? this is genuinely childish and i don’t think this should have anything to do with the more serious topics that are surrounding the bnharem situation. i would much prefer understanding the accusations of inappropriate behavior in the server rather than this nonsense. 

if there is proof of inappropriate conversations occurring between minors and adults who knew they were speaking to minors, then that should be addressed and there should 100% be apologies and change.

if we are going to sit here and argue about who was being mean to who and who was being a bad friend or a shady bitch to who, then that is petty drama that should be resolved in private because who the fuck cares. i have seen really immature, repulsive, and rude behavior from the very people who are making accusations. people bitching about their friends turning on them and then talking shit, saying they had thoughts of sending anon hate, insulting writers for enjoying certain aus, complaining about people writing ocs, i’ve seen it all and i can safely say this - we are all human, we are all assholes when we want to be, none of us are virtuous little angels who are always so uwu nice and pleasant. so i’m tired of people pointing fingers about being bad friends because the truth of the matter is that sometimes friendships end for many reasons and you need to get over it. 

i’m waiting for the callout post. i want to understand the allegations of pedophilia. i don’t give a shit about someone being a bad friend. that’s all.

[mithliya]

I just find it so annoying the time, energy and debates the discussions like this usually turn into. Something nasty or then crazy gc discourse or someone calling you a fake lesbian on rf gossip. The nitpicking is ridiculous. As soon as I saw this thread I knew someone was gonna call you bi or get mad because she didn’t get by you saying looks you mean aesthetic. You can like a character or actors personality or acknowledge they have a nice aesthetic or be a fan without being into them. Just from now maybe use aesthetic and not looks because looks to most people means physical attraction.

So many people get so hostile and are just waiting to call some actual lesbian bi. I don’t think white fems even think about how much harder it is for lesbians of color to get where they are and how bad the pressures and socialization is. Radical feminists are massive hypocrites with their own works and beliefs. Cognitive dissonance of their own going on about how women are socialized and sexuality. Their empathy, perspective and analysis seems to disappear when it’s needed the most. Liking men can put your life in danger and women of color are especially not allowed to desire only be desired by men.

We exist as business transactions all over the world, denied so much and barely allowed to be our own person. Sexuality can be deeply suppressed. Women aren’t taught or allowed to have their own desires and to know their own bodies or orgasms, just how to please men. In high school every discussion amongst girls involved blowing men or how cum is good for your skin. No one talked about pleasing a girl ever. I hated having to hear it & girls doing it because that’s what they’re taught. even bi women I’ve met have just blown men for years and never been sexually satisfied or reciprocated by men once. Then they got lucky and realized they liked women and fell for one. So yeah I think no lesbian actually obviously fantasizes about males in anyway fictional or not. Plenty bi women feel like that and don’t want a male irl. Penis repulsion is thing. A fantasy is representative of a desire or scenario of something or someone you find pleasant and makes you feel things. I know lesbians who love anime and cartoons who just love butches and they still never fantasize about a male because it isn’t what a butch is. That anon is fantasizing about male characters and I think that’s not lesbian period. No lesbian is excited by maleness and depictions of it. I think it should end their.

So anyway, no one also does this with gay men. gay men don’t argue about this and call other men fake gay men. Maybe that’s because it’s so different being a woman and experiencing misogyny and homophobia with sexuality and the fact that bisexual men aren’t saying they’re gay or being problematic and annoying in the same way bi women who are always lesphobic do. idk. Gay men don’t go through female socialization and are taught to be submissive so it’s easier for them to be confident and at least know or realize their desires much more easier than lesbians. Some things to think about. bi women are so annoying to us and love to hate lesbians and wanna be one but this shit doesn’t happen much or in the same way or extent with gay and bisexual men. I think people need examine the misogyny and double standards here.

it’s kinda bizarre to me bc i straight up said repeatedly that i don’t really get it and that i personally have always just gotten extremely bored when male characters are involved n don’t care for anything about males.. yet bc i said i don’t think someone’s not a lesbian if she likes anime guys or w/e it means i also like fictional men in any sense 😐

u did lose me in some parts tho and the part where u said no bi men claim to be gay, thats untrue. there’s plenty of bi men that call themselves gay men, it’s just never turned into a discussion of Some Gay Men Can Be Into Women or w/e and it’s not used to prove that gay men can be attracted to women to the same degree. but unfortunately plenty of bi people of both sexes claim to be gay. some will call themselves gay bc they genuinely think they are exclusive same sex attracted while some will say they’re gay bc they’re primarily same sex attracted and think that’s the same thing. it’s terrible bc it rly makes it harder for gay ppl to communicate our sexualities and also to form communities around our shared sexual orientation

anyways i think u may have sent me the longest anon ive ever had,, i wish i could give u an award for that

[aemondtragaryen-archived]

9, 14 & 19 for the salty asks

thanks for asking!!!

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

answered here!

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

I think sometimes people take it too seriously. At the end of the day, this is the MCU. It’s not perfect at all but people can like certain things and it doesn’t make them a bad person for liking something you don’t. Do I like MCU!Wanda? Definitely not. Am I going to get upset when people have different opinions of her? No, I’m not insane.

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

The amount of discourse. It’s calm right now but there’s been times where it’s exhausting. Although I love the MCU and the fandom most of the time, I think it would be much more pleasant if people talked about the content, characters, etc. that they like instead of the ones they hate. Also I can’t take people seriously who post a majority of anti content. Again, just post about what you like, not everything you hate. Most of us are just here to have fun.

There are people in any larger fandom like this one that will say things like “if you like this characters you’re a bad person” which is the dumbest thing ever. They’re fictional characters. Just ridiculous honestly.

salty asks

[candicewright]

Hi. I wanted to ask how you deal with toxic fans and antis? Today I was called too stupid to be bxg and to ship a real person applying to some weird stuff. How funny it was when I found that this person followed the page of another cp. I mean: where is the logic? Lol. Like I think many understand that some candies are too overanysed, but we know it and make fun of ourselves being so delulu. But then then I get many messages by toxic solo for being too stupid. I should block them? But sometimes I just can’t keep it and want to argue. Sorry for this sounds more how spam. Happy New Year

I admittedly haven't had such a bad experience as what you're describing, maybe because my blog is not exclusively bjyx related or maybe for another reason. I'm sorry that you had to deal with that and know that you're not stupid. Yes, some stuff is overanalyzed and silly, but we're here to have fun. Some things seem ridiculous but shaming others for wanting to believe in them is...not the way to deal with it. After all, all we have is speculation, and what candies you choose to take is your own choice. I have seen a lot of very anti-cpf people who follow certain cpfs and I also don't find the logic to that, but I guess some cpfs are more palatable than others to those who are outside of the fandom, and that's totally understandable.

But to answer your question, yes I do block them. Especially on Twitter because...wow. Here on Tumblr, I'd rather unfollow someone than block them, but if I ever needed to, I would. You really don't deserve all of that negativity and in my experience, it's better to not engage. If you need an outlet for your frustration, you can always create some sort of private social media. I for example have a private Twitter account where I go to vent to avoid getting involved in any discourse because I know in the long run, it's not worth it. That said, it's totally understandable if you do want to argue sometimes. Put yourself and your mental health first and do what you have to do to make your social media experience a pleasant and positive one💜

Happy New Year and feel free to come to my inbox any time!💜

[scarytheory]

James Bond conquers Czechoslovakia (or not?)

In the sixties, James Bond was everywhere. But even though it was a big worldwide phenomenon, it was hardly accessible to everyone. Czechoslovakia was a socialist country with a strict regulation system for film industry, so it is not surprising that James Bond films were not screened until the end of communist regime in the early nineties. But somehow James Bond had a notable presence in Czechoslovakia. It was a name known to average film fans. They heard about Sean Connery, Bond girls, and some of them could describe a detailed plot of the movies. How is it possible? This article discusses media discourse about James Bond, and how it created a basis for a familiarization with the James Bond film franchise.

The Czechoslovak film industry was centralized in the state-controlled institution between 1945 and 1990. Every imported film was approved by the state. Very broadly speaking, genre cinema from the Western countries wasn't ideologically desirable. Only around 5–10 British films were screened every year in Czechoslovakia in the '60s and '70s . Mostly they were kitchen sink dramas (A Taste of Honey or Saturday Night and Sunday Morning) or literary adaptations (Tom Jones, Far from The Madding Crowd). The action adventure genre was presented by French comedies (super popular Fan-Fan the Tulip and similar films) and by French art films (Breathless, Pierrot le fou). Important were leftist qualities of these movies. Approved were also some James Bond knock-offs, for example West German movies about FBI agent Jerry Cotton. Some people would say that James Bond and similar films could not be shown because of censorship, but that is not true. These films were not screened, because they just were not bought into the Czechoslovak distribution. There were, of course, reasons for that.    

So what exactly was problematic in James Bond films? First, it was simply a country of origin. It was not just that Bond was British (= Western country). In Czech press were Bond movies often described as American, which is at least partly true: distribution rights were owned by the American company United Artist. Also values presented by the films were values that were in Czechoslovakia identified with capitalist countries, especially with the United States. But mostly, Bond wasn't a preferred type of a hero for a socialist audience. He was rich, obsessed with expensive cars and clothes, violent and sexual. He was not nice. He was not a socialist hero. A Polish film historian Jerzy Toeplitz wrote about a bad influence of James Bond books and films, and the article was translated for Panoráma zahraničního filmového tisku in 1966. He wrote that James Bond books are meant for a Western reader who is “succumbed to the amuck of accumulating consumer goods.” That is related to the fact that the film series itself was perceived as existing just with a goal of gaining money. A lot of articles were stating (and mocking) the way the films were used for merchandise.

James Bond was a perfect picture of a capitalist country: cruel, brutal, too erotic, sadistic and racist. Which are all fair points, but they weren't said with an aim to open any kind of discussion. The goal was purely ideological. “We must build a hero – either a man or a woman of our time who upholds our humane socialist morale – and pose him or her against this mythical hero who can do anything, nothing is a nuisance to him, who overcomes everything smoothly and –  like James Bond, for example – has the right to commit senseless murders. This represents an ideological conflict with the bourgeoisie, one that is essential and without compromise.” (Film a doba, 5, p. 243).

Perhaps the most interesting aspects were constant mentions about racism. However a language that was used to describe racism in James Bond films was very racist itself. That is actually not surprising because Czechoslovak people had – and still have – lots of racist issues. Lubomír Oliva, one of prominent Czechoslovak film critics, described James Bond this way: “James Bond embodies a new type of Superman. He is coldy cruel and dismissive of the weak. He kills without remorse, because that is his job. Multiple scenes from the trilogy show racism, which is subconscious, automatic, and therefore more insidious. Is he the Tarzan among nuclear weapons? Or perhaps he is a  different but more dangerous type of a primitive: a close relative of the Nazi Übermensch.” (Kino, 1965/11, p. 13). It is also very telling to look closely at the photos used in that article – Bond shoots, Bond fights, Bond smiles like a crazy lunatic while he kills people. The writing itself is very suggestive, evocative and even vulgar. Oliva loves to mention every specific and cruel thing Bond does in the films in details. One has to ask – what if the effect of listing all the bad things was quite opposite? Was not public more curious to watch it?

Maybe the screenwriter of many amazing Czech genre films (Adela Has Not Had Her Supper Yet, Lemonade Joe) Jiří Brdečka was a little bit fond of Bond, right? Well – not really. The most problematic part of Bond films, according to Brdečka, was their anti-communist aspect. A majority of the villains were communists and often from USSR, which was not acceptable. In Brdečka's article in Divadelní a filmové noviny he compared people of color to communists. James Bond films are full of prejudice against both, and that is simply bad. He also wrote: “This hero is deeply engaged and his engagement compels him to eat communists and colored people for breakfast – both at the same time if possible. This tells us that James Bond may not find fertile soil around these parts.” But Brdečka at least acknowledged that the films were really well made. And concluded with: “[The films] are excellent crap, with an emphasis on crap.” (Divadelní a filmové noviny, 1965/9-10, p. 10). Galina Kopaněva (another a very prominent and very popular film critic) took one step further. Not only the films themself are bad and stupid, the loving audience from Western countries is stupid as well: “[young people] devour the elegant Bond and his precise punches to the stomach. They loosen their ties a la Bond when they see the closeups of  of Bond girls’ super-breasts, they bray with enthusiasm when there is an especially well done murder, they clench their fists as they watch crazy car chases on serpentine mountain roads, and they succumb to the pleasant shivers caused by torture scenes.” (Film a doba 1965/6, p. 323). The infantilization of audience was sometimes used while describing popular culture but was not broadly used for describing James Bond.    

So, now we know that James Bond was bad for Czechoslovak people. Or at least according to the prominent film critics and state-run film industry. But how is possible that James Bond became a well known phenomenon in communist Czechoslovakia? It was not allowed to show James Bond in the cinemas but somehow people knew who James Bond is. There were also special namings for James Bond films – bondovky (that is used still today) and bondiády. People were obsessed with them, even though they did not have an option to watch them.

The most obvious answer for James Bond popularity is that he was a constant presence in the Czechoslovak film press. He was – in his invisibility – totally visible. Bond films were often mentioned (and sometimes analyzed) in the press targeted towards film professionals (Interpressfilm) or “smart” film fans (Film a doba, Divadelní a filmové noviny) and in popular film magazines (Kino). Almost every Czechoslovak film critic had an opportunity to see a James Bond movie at some international film festival or in a cinema abroad. That means that they wrote reviews for Czechoslovak magazines. But the reviews were not only about qualities of the films. More often the critics retold the plot with every possible detail (including the ending of the film). The magazines also published spreads about James Bond phenomenon in general (including lots of photos), interviews with actors or directors, short notes about upcoming films or about changing of the actors. The articles were a weird mixture of positive and negative. For example, you would have a long text about Sean Connery, and in this article author would write about how wonderful actor Connery is. But they would also mention that Connery deserves better than Bond. Or you would have a big spread about a James Bond movie premiere, and author would mention that film is spectacular and fun to watch, but also that it is still a low and decadent film. 

Another way to get familiar with James Bond were the books by Ian Fleming. Three of them were published in Czechoslovakia: Dr No (Doktor NO, 1968; both Czech and Slovak version), View to a Kill (collections of short stories Ve jménu zákona, 1969) and Goldfinger (Zlatý fantóm, 1970, with a film cover and a lot of photos inside the book). The rest of the stories was published after 1990.

Of course in Czechoslovakia were some people that managed to see a James Bond film in other countries (travelling was complicated but not absolutely impossible). Ivan Soeldner said that people used to visit strip clubs while abroad, but suddenly it was a necessity to go see a James Bond film instead. He also stated that Bond (and strip clubs) are highly overrated (Kulturní tvorba, 1965/33, p. 14). But Bond films became word of mouth sensation – not just because they were entertainment films but because what they meant. Bond films were in a way similar to popular American music or Coca-cola. People heard so much about it that it became its own animal. The efforts to minimize and ridicule Bond in press actually created by mistake an unique mythos of James Bond – almost a symbol of anti-sovietism and anti-communism, something like a forbidden fruit. 

James Bond obsession calmed down a little bit with a departure of Sean Connery. Some articles were still occasionally written but not with so much passion as it used to be in the '60s. But a new opportunity to see James Bond films arrived to a Czechoslovak audience in the '80s. Videorecorders became more affordable and in 1985 there were around 80 000 of them. For Czechoslovakia was a very important phenomenon an unofficial “pirate” dubbing. So suddenly, for some people was a possibility to borrow VHS with some movies that were unavailable before (including Bond films). 

The communist regime ended in Czechoslovakia in 1989 and Czechoslovak film industry started to transform. The process was slow and messy. But finally, a first James Bond film was shown in Czech and Slovak cinemas: The Living Daylights in 1992 (in English original with Czech or Slovak subtitles). This film also had a special bonus for the viewers – it took place in Bratislava, Slovakia (but it was actually filmed in Austria). A lot of older Bond films also appeared in official VHS market, and the “black pirate market” was still quite proficient during the nineties.

The aim of this short overview was to show the ways James Bond appeared in the Czechoslovakia for the first time. It was probably very similar in other socialist countries (Poland, USSR,…). I think that it is important to ask questions about what Bond actually meant for a different types of audiences, and how it changed over time. The answers are still relatively vague (and maybe even banal), more answers could bring complex research in daily press or oral history. 

My sources: I did a quick research using a lot of articles from the '60s till early '90s. Big thanks to National Film Archive that has everything scanned in the digital library. 

Periodicals: Divadelní a filmové noviny, Film a doba, Filmové aktuality, Filmové informace, Filmový přehled, Interpressfilm, Kino, Kinorevue, Kulturní tvorba, Panoráma, Panoráma zahraničního filmového tisku, Záběr

I also used my own knowledge of Czechoslovak film industry (so you need to trust me that it is all true). I tried to put all this together, and the conclusions are my own. Hopefully, it all makes sense (I didn’t went too much into details because well, this is not some kind of complex research, it is just something I did for fun)

And thank you to amazing @slippingintostockings​ who helped me with the translation of Czech reviews from the sixties.