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fmp-klecksography · 5 months ago

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Hermann Rorschach

The Editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica. (2025). Rorschach Test. [Online]. Britannica. Last Updated: 15 January 2025. Available at: https://www.britannica.com/science/Rorschach-Test [Accessed 5 February 2025].

Hermann Rorschach was a Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who worked and experimented with inkblots as a way of diagnosing mental illness and personality temperaments. The foundation for the inkblots was formed in Rorschach's dissertation in 1911 where he looked at reflex hallucinations which is a form of synesthesia.

INTRODUCTION AND BACKGROUND

The term 'Rorschach' has become iconic within the world of psychological testing. The Rorschach inkblot test was first developed in 1921 by Hermann Rorschach. It was a fairly simple test consisting of 10 cards, each with a symmetrical ink blot design to provoke a response for the purpose of psychological analysis and introspection. With this Rorschach looked into the use of 10 inkblots to serve as associative stimuli in which allowed him to analyse a subjects affective and cognitive state. He put an emphasis on schizophrenics during his testing as they made up over half of of his experimental test subjects as well as the fact he believed they gave the most intriguing responses.

Over the years these 10 inkblots have remained the same since they were first created. They each have a unique history to them that reflects the life of Hermann Rorschach.

ABOUT HERMANN RORSCHACH

Hermann Rorschach was born in 1884 in Zurich Switzerland. His farther Ulrich Rorschach, was a painter and art teacher who Hermann Rorschach inherited his creativity and passion for painting from. As a child his favourite game was klecksography, with this he earned the nickname 'Klex' amongst his pears in which is the German word for 'Inkblot'. Throughout his life, Hermann Rorschach took his love for Klecksography aka Blotto and turned it into a career, however it was first introduced as a new discipline in the late 1800s by Justinus Kerner who published Klecksographien, a book of poems with associated inkblots. And then as early as 1895-1896, Albert Binet considered using inkblots as part of intelligence testing, however disregarded this idea after running into a few problems, leading the way 20 years later for Hermann Rorschach to create the iconic Rorschach Inkblot test.

From 1904 to 1909 Rorschach attended medical school at the University of Zurich, Switzerland and the University Hospital of Psychiatry, Burgholzli. After graduating, he began his research into inkblots in 1911 with his dissertation named "Reflection Hallucinations and Symbolism" which ultimately played the role of the foundation for his future methodology research. In said dissertation, he looked at the treatment working with 'reflex hallucinations' this describes a persons ability to experience a stimulus in one sensory field in which in turn produces a hallucination in another. An example of this was when a schizophrenic patient who observed a man using a scythe to cut grass and immediately felt as if his own body was being cut. This concept helped Rorschach to conceptualise an ideal way of assessing a persons response to a visual stimulus produced by inkblots. This knowledge then serves as key when learning how each individual exerted there preconceived notions or projections onto the stimulus, therefore allowing their personal experiences and mental state to be extracted. From 1914 to 1922, Hermann Rorschach worked as chief psychiatrist at Herisau Hospital, where he created a parallel series of inkblots.

By the year 1918, Hermann Rorschach had created 15 inkblots with the sole purpose of experimenting on his patients. This group of inkblots consisted of an axis of symmetry and were either black and white or red blue and yellow. He was insistent on the use of horizontal symmetry around a vertical axis so that the images would be the same for both left and right handed people as well as being aligned with how we as humans perceived bodily symmetry, which in turn gave more emotional physiologic responses. The symmetry was further created by the result of how the image was made, where ink was dripped onto a sheet of paper and then folded inhale to create a full image.

In 1921, Rorschach published his methodology and experimental findings in his landmark book Psychodiagnostics, along side with his final 10 inkblots. As a whole the entire experiment consisted of 405 patients, 117 of these were perceived of having normal controls where as the other 288 where diagnosed with suffering from various mental illnesses, this including mania, depression, epilepsy, Korsakoff's. In contrast, over half of the mental illness groups tested were made up of schizophrenic patients who likely served as the primary focus of Rorschach’s experiment.

Although there was no specific criteria for the findings of mental ilnesses, certain patterns came to light relating to a patient’s disease state and their response to the inkblots. Regular patients rarely rejected any cards, where as those who did often linked to depression, they would give few responses and neurotics who frequently rejected cards altogether. Manic patients with an elevated mood usually gave multiple whole responses and those with Schizophrenics primarily gave colour and movement related answers that were associated with poor form.

In the end Rorschach concluded “It is possible by means of the test to draw conclusions concerning many affective relationships [and that] the test has proved to be of diagnostic value". He further commented on other trends relating to intelligence and personality subtypes, saying “In normals [the test] makes possible differential diagnosis of personality; in patients, the diagnosis of illness. Furthermore, it presents an intelligence test almost completely independent of previous knowledge, memory, practice, and degree of education"

The publication of Psychodiagnostics celebrated a decades worth or incredibly important research, placing Hermann Rorschach himself as the forefront or this newly founded areas within the developing field of psychiatry. However for the majority of his work the Rorschach method was still in its early stages so on April 2nd, 1922 just one year after the Rorschach inkblot test was created Hermann Rorschach sadly died due to peritonitis secondary to a ruptured appendix that was mistaken for tobacco poisoning.

Like his unique and mysterious inkblots, the legacy of Hermann Rorschach is one of complexity, it does not come down to one conclusion instead explores a range of experience from Rorschach to other independent investigators. The inkblots which have remained unchanged for over a century are definitely representative of his life as well as showcasing that clear link to his upbringing as an artist, as well as a psychiatrist.

In contrast, the Rorschach mythology is not without its controversies however despite these controversies, the legacy of the Rorschach inkblots lives on, after having continually captivated and romanced the collective psyche of modern society. Inkblots as Rorschach theories have appeared in many elements of society such as ...

in movies like The Dark Mirror

in modern art with Andy Warhol’s series of Rorschach paintings

in pop culture with the vigilante Watchmen comic book character Rorschach

Ultimately, Rorschach’s inkblots represents our attempt at trying to understand the human psyche and inner workings of the mind. The man behind the inkblot who dared to ask:

"What might this be?"

Shantz, T L. Cravero, J C. Newman, M. (2024). The Legacy of Hermann Rorschach and His Inkblots: Portrait of a Man or Mental Disease?. [Online]. Cureus. Last Updated: 26 August 2024. Available at: https://www.cureus.com/articles/285845-the-legacy-of-hermann-rorschach-and-his-inkblots-portrait-of- [Accessed 5 February 2025].

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thedimensionsblog · 1 year ago

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Global Colorism in the Millennium: An Interview with Ronald E. Hall, Ph.D.

Ronald E. Hall, Ph.D.

Distinguished Scholar and the “Father of Colorism”

Friday, April 19, 2024

4:30-5:30 pm CST

Join Dr. Donnamaria Culbreth, Host of the Dimensions Podcast and distinguished scholar and the “father of colorism” Ronald E. Hall, Ph.D., Professor in the School of Social Work in the College of Social Science at Michigan State University for an interview and discussion on global colorism in the millennium. Topics will include colorism as a global issue, skin bleaching, physical and mental health, colorism in education, the workplace, and society, and the psychological, emotional, physical and social impact of colorism.

Colorism involves distinctions based on skin color (light, medium or dark) and results in the favorable or unfavorable treatment of individuals based on the lightness or darkness of their skin color and can include other phenotypes. Colorism is complex because it occurs interracially, intraracially, consciously, unconsciously, intentionally and unintentionally.

Biography of Ronald E. Hall, Ph.D.

Before earning his doctorate, Ronald E. Hall enabled his professional career as a clinical social worker in the city of Detroit. His occupational role encompassed the practice of individual and group psychotherapy with schizophrenic and manic-depressive clients. Subsequent to numerous clinical observations, Dr. Hall advocated the notion of colorism, among people of color, as a critical dynamic relative to mental health. Having written his dissertation on colorism, Dr. Hall devised the "Bleaching Syndrome" to theoretically explain this social dynamic among people of color.

Dr. Hall’s colorism research comprises more than 300 (co)-authored publications, interviews, and presentations pertaining to the issue of colorism. Of note are commentaries on Justice Clarence Thomas and President Barack Obama via TIME magazine and Oprah Winfrey via The Color Complex. On January 19, 2015, Dr. Hall was featured in Bill Duke’s “Light Girls” hosted by the OWN. His notable book credits include The Color Complex(revised from 1992), which was published in 2013. In 2003, Dr. Hall won the Mellen Prize for Distinguished Contribution to Scholarship for publication of Skin Color as a Post-Colonial Issue Among Asian-Americans. His most recent book is titled Interdisciplinary Perspectives on Colorism: Beyond Black & White (July 2022). His forthcoming book is titled the Routledge International Handbook on Colorism: Bigotry Beyond Borders.

Dr. Hall has lectured on colorism both domestically and internationally, including by invitation Bates College (Lewiston, ME), Pennsylvania State University (State College, PA), Oxford University (Oxford, UK), U.S. Consulate (Mumbai, India) and return to the University of Faisalabad (Pakistan). As part of his worldwide research on colorism in May of 2015, Dr. Hall traveled to Johannesburg, South Africa to lecture and collect colorism data after which during the previous 14 years, he will have covered colorism per every major racial group on the planet. That includes Europeans, and a Native-American reservation in North Dakota. Among other international speaking events, also include Paramaribo, Suriname, where he was guest speaker for a medical convention convened to address skin color. Dr. Hall also lectured on skin color in India at the Jindal Global University in Delhi and the Tata Institute of Social Sciences in Mumbai. He was then invited after return to the U.S. to speak in Washington D.C. by Congressman Bobby L. Rush on issues pertaining to skin color. In addition to the local, Dr. Hall was the lead presenter at the Global Perspectives on Colorism Conference hosted by the Washington University School of Law in St. Louis, Mo. Continuing his global trek, on November 20, 2021, Dr. Hall lectured by Zoom at the 2nd International Conference on Dermal Sciences: Psychosocial Impact of Colorism at the University of Faisalabad, Faisalabad, Pakistan. Most recently on February 25, 2022, Dr. Hall was requested by the U.S. Consulate General in Mumbai, India to lecture at its conference titled: Is Colorism Only Skin Deep? Lastly, as posted by The Conversation academic website for American university professors. Dr. Hall has attracted over a million readers who follow his work.

Previously, Dr. Hall testified as an expert witness for the nation’s first African-American colorism litigation in Morrow v. IRS, Atlanta Federal District Court (1990). On select occasions since he has served as consultant for attorneys in need of colorism expertise. Two years following Morrow v. IRS he co-authored The Color Complex published in 1992 and revised for re-release in 2013. Subsequently The Color Complex maintains active book sales 30 years later in 2022. Book publications in total by Dr. Hall include 16 titles. Academic papers published by Dr. Hall existent around the world exceed 100 in total. He has designed a yet to be offered class on colorism at MSU and among its approximately 3,000 faculty/staff is ranked second most read on the Conversation website. Dr. Hall is confident about the global existence of colorism having collected both quantitative and qualitative data from humanity at-large.

In 2022, the Colorism Project, Inc. hosted the first virtual conference on colorism in the United States named after Dr. Hall in recognition of his distinguished scholarship in colorism. In addition, the Ronald E. Hall Research Colorism Research Scholarship was created in the same year and will award scholarships to graduate students pursuing colorism research at the second virtual Ronald E. Hall Conference on Colorism in August of 2024.

#colorism #academia #scholarship

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kingofkingsschizo · 2 years ago

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Oh here it is Schizos, the guilt and shame associated of holding yourself to a standard that neurotypicals even have a difficult time with. Trying to make a career graduate from higher education. I would try with my best attempt at working trying to stay consistent in which I would fail. Kept going though through the years. I’d muster up some motivation from a space in me that had to prove that I could be like neurotypicals. College was finally a success but it took me 7 years to get that applied science degree but I did it. Symptoms of schizophrenia really hampered my aspirations to follow through after I graduated and interred the profession I chose. It didn’t work out. I wanted to prove I could do the American dream thing being schizophrenic. Nope. Didn’t happen. I felt that guilt and shame and carried it for a long time trying to succeed. I finally came to terms with my illnesses. I’m not a failure I can relax now, I know my limitations well. I can plan a route to happiness now. There’s a lot of things we can do in the time we are not sleeping or working our day out in are each very unique way. You have something special that awaits the world. Work in your own space along your own time line. You don’t have to feel guilt or shame. I’d like to challenge you to be kind to yourself.

written by Wally aka DEFIANT

Paranoid Schizophrenic later on Dx as being Schizoeffective

#kingofkingsschizo #kat shares stuff #guiltburdened #shame on you #like why #schizo things #schizophrenia #work stuff #truthoflife

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sparklecarehospital-archive · 5 years ago

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Could you please explain barry's schizophrenia symptoms? I have a hard time liking him because of how he acts, but I have 0 knowledge of schizophrenia and I'd prefer if an actual person with schizophrenia explained it to me instead if google.. I want to like barry, I really do, but I feel a lot of dislike towards people who act like him irl, maybe if I know more about his symptoms I could understand it more? I don't want to be ignorant or something;;

Hi! I am schizophrenic and I can explain his character a bit. I hope this all makes sense. I am not representing every schizophrenic person with him because everyone is different, but this is how I've written him.

A big part of Barry's obsession with science and logic is because of his schizophrenia. He wants to keep himself grounded in reality and away from his delusions. Of course he ended up genuinely liking it passionately enough that he wants to pursue a career as a physicist, but the interest originally started pretty young because of a need to find ways to actually prove things were true.

As for his "behavior" -- Barry has grandiose delusions. This makes him believe he is above others. You can read about them in various places, but there's many different kinds that exist and his just happens to be "I'm the most intellectual person alive, nobody is smarter!"

I understand not wanting to like him because he acts like this but take into consideration that he can't really help what he's doing. It doesn't really give him an excuse to be mean obviously but don't hate him for it, yeah? He's not trying to act like that, it's just what he's going through. He just needs some help and others being understanding and patient with him.

I hope I explained this well! If you have any more questions feel free to ask!!!

#answers #long post

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ichor-and-symbiosis · 5 years ago

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Hey idk if this has been asked before, but I’m curious what inspired you to pursue science?

I don’t remember getting an ask like this! c: thank you for asking <3

It’s a bit of a long journey. I used to be an absolutely brain-dead child because I was raised in a neglectful environment and I went to a really shitty elementary school that did nothing to help kids like me. I always thought I was just hella stupid. I learned to use the internet and anime/manga as a form of escapism, and during middle school, I suddenly realized that I kind of liked to read! Reading manga eventually made me turn my sights on books, and I will never forget discovering Isaac Asimov’s novels in my 7th or 8th year of middle school. I was never the same since. Those books blasted my mind wide open and made me absolutely adore science fiction (and in combination with Transformers, made me realize I am a huge unrepentant robotfucker).

From there, I started to read a LOT. I read the news, I read self-care books, I read about psychology and history, you name it. I have suffered from depression for as long as I can remember, so my interest in psychology stems from wanting to understand myself better. Family life was also getting really, really bad for me, so psychology was my way of distancing myself from my situation in a clinical way. I actually wanted to be a therapist for a while.

And then came college. I dived into psychology with enthusiasm and left it in the dust two years later because I did not like how the field neglects the necessity to integrate biology. I found a lot more insight in neuroscience - learning about how the brain works on this level made so much more sense to me, and it was endlessly fascinating. I joined a few psychology labs as a volunteer to broaden my horizons, and I even worked with schizophrenic patients for a year. It was an incredible experience, but I realized I was not the right person for this kind of job. Around this time, I also lost a family member to amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (also known as Lou Gehrig's disease), which further inspired me to not only pursue science as a career, but to primarily work on understanding how certain neurodegenerative disorders manifest and destroy the brain.

So that’s the gist of it!

#alison talks

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hrk4 · 5 years ago

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My Sanskrit Story

I am an ardent student of Sanskrit.

Over the past few years, I’ve been learning Sanskrit in a slow, schizophrenic manner – a few weeks of frenetic study of grammar and literature with long months of lackadaisical, lukewarm engagement with the language, mostly through ‘study circles’ (we’ll come to this later) that I’m a part of. But I have kept at it constantly and never regretted it once.

My earliest exposure to Sanskrit was perhaps at the age of two. Born and raised in a typical Hindu middle-class family, I was taught simple shlokas and stotras. My father took me to Cubbon Park or Ulsoor Lake on Sunday mornings and on the way he would teach me verses from the Mukunda-mala (a poetical work composed by Kulashekhara azhvar, a ninth century king and poet-saint). My grandmother taught me the Krishna-ashtakam (usually during power-cuts) and my mother taught me verses from the Venkatesha-suprabhatam. At age three or four, I became a sort of ‘installation art’ at weddings where elders gathered around me, coaxing me to recite verses from the Mukunda-mala. (But of course, getting children to recite verses is not uncommon in our families. Many of you might have experienced this in your childhood.)

That was it, pretty much: Some stray verses committed to memory and the strong notion that Sanskrit was a great language. In spite of my rejection of orthodox theism, rituals, and outdated religious/superstitious practices during my rebellious adolescent years, strangely, I never lost respect for Sanskrit.

Most of my cousins studied Sanskrit in school but I didn’t have that good fortune. I wanted to learn the language but I didn’t know where to start; for years it remained a pipe dream.

By sheer chance, I got involved in co-writing a translation of the Bhagavad-Gita with Dr. Koti Sreekrishna in 2006. At that time, I didn’t know any Sanskrit. My role was to review and edit the English; after Dr. Sreekrishna produced a rough translation, I would work towards presenting the verses in the simplest way possible. By the time we published the book five years later, I had learnt a few words here and there, particularly when we discussed the meaning of difficult verses.

In early 2011, when the manuscript of our Gita translation was being sent to reviewers, someone suggested that I get the opinion of the renowned scholar, poet, and polymath Shatavadhani Dr. R Ganesh. Until then I hardly knew anything about him. When I phoned him, he spoke in an encouraging manner and I felt like I was speaking with a family elder rather than a celebrity-scholar. He graciously reviewed the manuscript and gave his feedback. I casually mentioned to him about my interest to learn Sanskrit and my helplessness at not knowing where to start. Not only did he give me general guidance but he also taught me some of the basics of Sanskrit grammar like noun forms, verb forms, sandhi, and samasa. More importantly, he taught me the real value of learning Sanskrit in today’s world.

The rest of this piece comprises what I’ve learnt from Dr. Ganesh about the study of Sanskrit coupled with my personal experiences. It might be of value to those interested in learning the language.

Why Study Sanskrit?

Given that learning Sanskrit—or any language for that matter—consumes considerable time and effort (and some money), it’s a good idea to think for a moment if it’s actually worth it. Now, the worthiness can be decided only by one’s intentions – Why do I want to study Sanskrit?

In my case, I love learning languages when the opportunity presents itself. The process of learning itself is a great deal of fun for linguaphiles like me. So if you are a language-lover, there’s no need to think any further. Go and learn Sanskrit!

There is a widespread notion that Sanskrit is a sacred language meant solely for rituals and that its literature is entirely ‘spiritual stuff.’ So if you’re someone who likes that sort of thing – tradition, philosophy, scriptures, and so forth – you might be thinking of learning the language. The good news is that you probably don’t need to learn Sanskrit.

If you are just interested in the Vedas and want to connect with the tradition better, you could consider learning Vedic recitation, which is definitely easier than learning Sanskrit. In addition, you can read a book or two on the philosophy of the Vedas or listen to lectures on the topic by scholars like Dr. Ganesh. Even those of you who are interested in philosophy can get by reading reliable translations of the Upanishads and Bhagavad-gita as well as general works on Indian philosophy by scholars like Prof. M Hiriyanna.

There is a feeling among the culturally inclined nationalists that it is our duty to preserve Indian heritage and showcase the glory of India’s past. Triggered by this missionary zeal, some people might wish to learn Sanskrit. This often leads to a narrow interest in hunting for science in ancient India, or in the study of traditional works of polity, economics, architecture, law, or other secular subjects. Again, the good news is that you don’t have to learn Sanskrit to accomplish this.

You can always look into reliable translations of works like Artha-shastra, Manu-smriti, Surya-siddhanta, or Brihat-samhita. You can also peruse through books on Indian history, ancient Indian mathematics, temple architecture, and so on. You could even take up the study of a serious treatise like P V Kane’s History of Dharmashastra. That will satiate your thirst to a large extent.

When something can be effectively translated from one language into another—particularly when the objective is to provide information or teach certain concepts—then there’s hardly a case for learning the source language. If I can give you the exact translation of a verse from the Gita and you understand it without any transmission losses, then why do you have to spend ten years of your life learning Sanskrit?

But there are things that simply can’t be translated. Jokes, for instance, are untranslatable when they employ puns or have strong cultural references. The same goes for poetry, where the structure and the substance are closely intertwined. So if you’re interested to explore the vast landscape of Sanskrit literature—Kalidasa’s masterpieces; the two great Epics (Ramayana and Mahabharata); Bana’s Kadambari; Shudraka’s Mricchakatika; Bharavi’s Kiratarjuniya; Vishakadatta’s Mudra-rakshasa; and many other poems, plays, and prose compositions—it is worthwhile taking steps to learn Sanskrit. Stories about gods and goddesses, romantic escapades, nature descriptions, episodes from the Epics, idiosyncrasies of public life, the history of a kingdom, tales of commoners – all this and more can entertain and enrich several lifetimes.

In addition to being a wonderful treasure trove of literature, Sanskrit is also a window to our past. Therefore, any serious student of Indian history, archaeology, sociology, culture, sculpture, philosophy, and so forth will benefit immensely if s/he learns Sanskrit. Here I wish to make a distinction between one who is interested in Indian history or philosophy or culture and a full-time student of these subjects (like a BA or MA student). Those who are merely interested to know more about a certain era in Indian history can read a book by R C Majumdar or Jadunath Sarkar and be fulfilled. But for students of history, the knowledge of Sanskrit will enable them to read inscriptions, contemporary literary works, and so on, which will prove invaluable for their careers.

However, if you’re looking to improve your knowledge of physics, become better at technology, get a promotion at work, or win an election, you will benefit from doing other things than learning Sanskrit.

Is Sanskrit Difficult?

A good way to learn a language is like how we all learnt our mother tongues – by listening and repeating, then slowly moving towards understanding and speaking, and then eventually starting to read and write. If you wish to learn Russian, Spanish, or Japanese, this approach works well. But Sanskrit is not a widely spoken language. And our motivation to learn Sanskrit is not so much trying to communicate with other people as it is to read and savour ancient (and modern) literature.

Although there are a number of people who fluently speak in Sanskrit, it is almost impossible to find a person who knows only Sanskrit and no other language. It’s therefore obvious that you don’t need Sanskrit to communicate with others; you can get by speaking Kannada or Tamil or English. (On the other hand, if you’re visiting the UK and can’t speak a word of English, you’re going to be in trouble!)

To learn Sanskrit, you might have to choose an approach that’s different from what’s popularly known as ‘immersion’ in language-learning circles.

There are some people who think that Sanskrit is extremely difficult and wonder if they can approach it at all. In fact, those who are familiar with one or more Indian languages already have the basic equipment to understand Sanskrit. The nuts and bolts of the grammar can give you sleepless nights but it’s probably not as hard as you think.

At the other end of the spectrum, there are people who think that attending a ten-day Sambhashana course or reading a ‘Learn Sanskrit in 30 Days’ book can give you mastery over Sanskrit. That’s a dangerous notion to harbour if you really want to learn the language.

So, the one line answer is that if you’re interested and pursue it sincerely, it’ll get easier along the way, and more importantly, the journey will be great fun after the initial fumbling about.

Learning Sanskrit

Where do I start?

The answer, surprisingly, is: anywhere. Just start. Sanskrit is an ocean and where does one begin to swim in an ocean? Somewhere. Put your feet in the water, slowly get inside, get used to the cold, and before you realize it, you’re already kicking your legs and having a good time.

And that’s what I did: just started at some point.

I would read a verse from the Gita and then read the English translation. I had learnt Kannada and Hindi at school and as a result, many of the words were familiar to me. Reading the translation after reading the original Sanskrit verse exposed me to new words. I committed verses to memory and later replayed them in my mind, trying to check if I remembered the meaning completely.

That said, the most suitable works to start off learning Sanskrit are lucid compositions like the Ramayana or the Pancha-tantra. Get hold of a reliable translation of one of these works (preferably in an Indian language); start by reciting the original Sanskrit verse or prose passage a couple times, then read through the translation, and go back to reading the Sanskrit – this way you slowly make connections between the words and their meanings. Instead of diving into the technicalities of grammar straightaway, spending time with literature will help you experience the beauty of the language.

Three to six months after commencing the study of a Sanskrit work, you can start learning up some grammar – by reading good books, watching online tutorials, or learning from a teacher.

I’m extremely fortunate that Dr. Ganesh taught me the basics of Sanskrit grammar. That set me off on a winding path of reading different aspects of grammar and trying to wrap my head around them. This continues even today. The more I hunt for rules, more the exceptions I find. My advice: Keep aside logic while learning basics. In the initial stages, don’t ask questions; simply accept things as they are. It just makes life easier. Over time, you’ll develop an intuition for the correct form of a word.

All said and done, it’s easy to start but difficult to keep going. What’s the solution for sustained study?

In my experience, learning a language requires both self-motivation and external agency. Unless one is driven from within, no amount of external push will be fruitful; when self-motivation is present, external agency becomes invaluable. For instance, Sanskrit is taught in schools and colleges – this is a push from outside (i.e., external agency). But only those with self-motivation learn the language well and continue reading literature long after they have graduated.

When I met Dr. Ganesh in 2011, he told me about a fortnightly ‘study circle’ he was conducting and extended an invitation to me. I had never heard the term before so I asked him what that was. A group of friends would catch up every other Saturday and read the Raghu-vamsham of Kalidasa.

I started attending the study circle. This went on for close to a year and I learnt a great deal. Owing to various reasons I became irregular in attending the sessions and after I shifted to another end of the city, I practically stopped going. During the years 2013–16, I moved around quite a bit and finally I shifted to Malleswaram in November 2016.

There came an inflection point in my Sanskrit study in 2017. Around that time, my good friend Raghavendra G S had started his PhD program in IISc. and my house happened to be a sort of midpoint between the metro station and his lab. One day I casually suggested that we should meet once a week and read a Sanskrit work together. He readily agreed and we started reading the Krishna-karna-amritam (a poetical work by Lilashuka). By the time we finished reading the text in early 2018, a few other friends showed interest in coming together to form a study circle. And so, in April 2018 we formed our Sanskrit study circle and have continued ever since. I also got the opportunity to join a few other study circles and this ensured that my Sanskrit study is ever fresh; over the past three years, not a week has gone by without a few hours of Sanskrit reading (unless I was travelling or unwell).

So if you want to learn Sanskrit, try to find even one other like-minded friend and get started. Even better if you can find more friends – especially those who know more Sanskrit than you. The ideal is a group of four to six, meeting once a week, for about an hour or ninety minutes. (You can meet in person or online – it shouldn’t make too much of a difference.) There are ample online resources and translations available for various Sanskrit works. Start reading a work together. Take turns to read the verses aloud. (Even when you’re reading Sanskrit by yourself, it’s useful to read aloud). Then look at the translation. Discuss. Read the original verse again. Then move forward. In the first few sessions, you may read just three or four verses in an hour but as you go forward, your speed will drastically improve and you’ll start getting comfortable. After a while, refer to the translations only after you’ve made an attempt to understand the original. This will slowly push you to rely on your memory and learning.

And once in a while, when there’s an opportunity to meet during a long weekend, you can take a short poetical work like Niti-shataka or Kali-vidambana and read the whole thing in one marathon session.

There are many possibilities with study circles. In fact, it can prove to be the mysterious ingredient to accelerate your learning. That’s been the case with me for sure. I’ve still got a long way to go before I can say that I’ve learnt Sanskrit but the journey itself has been incredible so far. Dr. Ganesh and friends have been largely responsible for what little Sanskrit I know. And for that I’m ever grateful.

Hari Ravikumar August 2020

Thanks to my friends Pratap Simha (for getting me to write this piece), Arjun Bharadwaj (for his valuable inputs), and Sudheer Krishnaswami (for his review and feedback).

#Sanskrit #Language learning

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sloshi · 6 years ago

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Sasusaku Fanfic - ch. 1 preview

Title: Captain!

Pairing: Sasusaku

Summary: Passing lewd notes in class is all fun and games—that is, until it smacks a certain baseball captain upside the head. Japan!highschool AU [will be Slow burn / eventual smut]

Read the Prologue here

Because this was so kindly received, I decided to post a preview of the next chapter :D I’ll upload to FF.net when I have about 5 or so chapters down and tweak it a little more; enjoy!

Chapter 1

It’s only at her locker that she catches her breath, hunching over with hands on her sock-covered knees, desperate for lost oxygen that doesn’t necessarily have to do with running. Her heart races against her chest. Pink hair falls over her shoulders and into her eyes, when suddenly a pair of shiny black flats enter her line of sight.

“Sakura!” Ino exclaims, exasperated and breathless as if she, too, had taken off running in pursuit of her pink-haired friend. Sighing in defeat, she straightens upright to face her best friend. She’s surprised to see guilt marring her feminine features, but it doesn’t make her feel better in the slightest. “Goddamn, you’re quick! Seriously, how the hell do you run so fast?”

“Are you kidding?” Sakura almost screeches. Several curious heads turn to look at her as they pass through the hallway. “Sasuke-kun just read our disgusting note, Ino!” Sakura drops her voice to a harsh whisper. “Which—by the way, is all your fault—and you’re worried about how fast I can run?” She throws her hands up in disbelief before they slap against either side of her green-and-gold plaid skirt in frustration.

Ino’s perfect brows cinch in anger. “My fault?” She’s defensive immediately, as usual. “How the hell is this my fault! You’re the one who pitched the note like it was a fucking baseball across the room! Suddenly it’s my fault?!” She scoffs haughtily. “Oh, congrats on the home run by the way. And the crowd goes wild! Woo-hoo!” Ino waves her arms hysterically, openly mocking her.

That does it. Sakura jabs an accusing finger to Ino’s collarbone, completely ignoring her stupid sarcasm. (Which is totally not funny.) “Yes! Your fault! If you hadn’t thrown that note in the first place, none of this would have ever happened, Ino! And Sasuke—“ she breaks off abruptly, bottom lip trembling like a leaf as she’s reminded all over again the nightmare of which she has just been flung into. “Oh, gods, Sasuke-kun. . .” Covering her face with her hands, she tries to hide the tears that are swiftly filling her eyes to the brim. She’s so embarrassed, it’s nauseating. “What am I going to do . . .” She finishes with a defeated whisper and a sniffle against her palms.

Ino’s warm embrace surrounds her immediately, comforting and familiar. But it doesn’t help.

“Let’s just go to lunch, and try to forget this ever happened, okay?” Ino’s voice flips like a switch, not a sour note perceptible in her now soothing tone. Sakura blinks, wondering if she’s imagining things, but when Ino pulls away, a bright white smile shines back. Sakura almost has to squint.

(Ino is so weird.)

When they enter the cafeteria, Sakura hides behind Ino’s back, eyes darting around frantically as she shuffles behind the blonde, as if Sasuke will somehow jump out of nowhere and pounce like an angry lion. He’s in here somewhere, hiding in the underbrush. (She knows it.)

“Will you relax, Forehead?” Ino complains when Sakura jumps in fright, dramatically clutching onto the blonde’s shoulders and nearly pulling her backwards as a kid with black hair (not Sasuke) strolls by. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m being cautious, Pig. There’s a difference.”

“Well, can you be a little less cautious so that I can get my lunch in peace, please. People are staring.”

Sakura squeezes her shoulders. “What if he comes up to me?”

“He won’t.”

“You don’t know that!”

“I’ll make sure of it, Forehead, now get off me!”

Sakura groans, but acquiesces reluctantly. Although she steps back to give Ino some breathing room, she trails behind her like lost puppy as they make their way to the lunch line. Every spot of black in her peripherals has her jumping in her own skin. She doesn’t think Sasuke will actually confront her, but she’s not taking any chances, dammit.

But it’s only when she and Ino have their lunch trays in hand and headed towards their usual table that she finally spots him. He strolls through the double doors of the cafeteria coolly, hands deep in the pockets of his beige slacks, expression indiscernible and unruffled as always.

His KHS uniform is in perfect shape—the forest green blazer is unwrinkled, the rich golden tie tucked beneath the dipped V collar, and a stark white dress shirt underneath. The matching gold KHS logo is sewn into the left breast of the jacket. A mop of spiky midnight hair sits thick and messy on his head, moody black eyes just barely peeking through his overgrown bangs, yet somehow it’s still perfect.

Mouth dry, Sakura nearly drops her tray.

“Oh, god—there he is, Ino. He’s right there!” She whispers harshly, terror ripping through her gut, leaning to try and hide her face from Sasuke’s line-of-sight behind Ino’s shouder just in case.

He’s far away enough that she thinks he probably doesn’t see her, but that doesn’t stop her fingers from trembling as her eyes follow his graceful stride to the lunch line behind them. (Even his walk is flawless!) Sakura quickly takes note of the several pairs of eyes following the very same baseball captain she’s basically ogling. She’s surprised, however, when she catches a few angry glares sent her way. She averts her gaze.

“Okay, and?” Ino prompts, unimpressed, as they finish their trek to the lunch table where they join their typical ring of friends. Tenten, Hinata, and Karin wave them over excitedly.

“And—how are you not freaking out about this?!” Sakura squeaks incredulously, trying and failing to keep her voice down.

“Freaking out about what?” Karin asks casually when Sakura and Ino shuffle in and take their seats, always ready for whatever juicy gossip she can snatch.

“N-Nothing!” Karin blinks at her strange behavior. It’s not like her, Karin thinks, when the pinkette shifts her eyes warily, as if she expecting someone to come up and stab her at any given moment. Sakura casts several looks over her shoulder. What, did she suddenly become schizophrenic overnight?

“Is e-everything okay, S-Sakura-chan?” Hinata asks kindly, pausing in the middle of wrapping stringy ramen noodles around her chopsticks to observe her pink-haired friend with concern.

“Yeah, you look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Tenten adds unhelpfully around a mouthful of rice.

“She’s fine.” Ino says with a roll of her blue eyes.

Sakura doesn’t protest Ino’s remark, and when Tenten and Karin exchange glances with a shrug, they start gushing about a science project (At least she thinks that’s what they’re talking about; she can hardly pay them any attention.) And because all seniors share the same biology class, just different intervals in the day, Sakura quickly tunes them out.

(Wait—Did they just say project?)

Sakura blinks, but then thinks better of it and doesn’t bother to ask; she’ll just ask Kakashi-sensei about it tomorrow. She decides she doesn’t need another stressor today.

Hinata returns to her ramen, and Sakura is left to stare down at her miso soup, appetite zapped. She knows she should eat something, but her stomach won’t stop flip-flopping. A tiny square of tofu floats lazily across the gold liquid. (She’s gonna be sick.)

Next to her, Ino tucks into her extra-light salad, coated with a light (low-fat) dressing, slivers of raw carrot, and two measly cherry tomatoes. Sakura grimaces, opening her mouth to unleash a lecture Ino’s already heard thousands of times. But really, Sakura worries. All thoughts of Sasuke are momentarily forgotten in light of her friend’s health.

“You should really eat more than just lettuce everyday, Pig, it’s not healthy. As much as you’d like to think so. You need protein—like an egg or something. I swear to god you’re one leaf away from turning into a pile of dust and bones. One day you’re gonna’ wake up and Poof!” She makes an exploding gesture with both hands. “Just like that.”

Ino looks offended, stabbing the lettuce with a little more force than necessary to prove it. “My weight isn’t going to maintain itself, Dr. Billboard-brow. But thanks for the advice, I’d like to check out now.”

“Hey!” Sakura frowns at the mockery of the career she’s chased since she was a child. “I really will be a doctor one day, Ino. And the minute I graduate from medical school, you’ll technically have to listen to me.”

“S-She’s right, you know.” Hinata says quietly, supportive as always, pearl eyes blinking innocently under her dark purple fringe.

Ino sniffs, lifting her chin in defiance. “I don’t care. I’ll eat what I want, how much I want, and when I want. And none of you—“ she sweeps an accusing manicured nail at each girl at the table. “—can stop me.” With that, she pops one of the only two cherry tomatoes in her mouth.

Sakura rolls her eyes, but gives up. (For now. She’ll try again tomorrow.) Ino’s so stubborn it almost hurts. But she’s skinny—the forest green and gold KHS uniform that once fit her snugly just a few weeks ago is noticeably looser. It’s more than just being an aspiring doctor, she cares about her best friend’s wellbeing. Sakura has seen the magazines plastered on Ino’s wall; the one-hundred pound American model women posing fierce and beautiful. But gods, so underweight. She really hopes Ino knows better than that.

Sakura opens her mouth to change the subject, when a boisterous laugh erupts through the cafeteria. Even though loud noises normally wouldn’t bother her (or even catch her attention, honestly, because it’s the cafeteria and it’s always loud.) She’s already on edge, on guard, and she jerks her head and cranes her neck, searching for the source of racket.

A few tables away, she sees it in the form of blonde hair and mirthful blue eyes. Not the pale blonde hair or baby blue eyes like Ino’s, no. His colorings are saturated; full of color and light. He’s laughing so hard he’s wheezing—though at what, who the hell knows. But it’s not Naruto Uzumaki or the several other impossibly cute guys in his groupie who has her heartbeat skyrocketing instantaneously, it’s the onyx haired man sitting right next to him. Sasuke looks irritated, if not totally pissed off, as he tilts his head back and sips his water bottle.

Sakura inhales sharply, heart leaping into her throat, because the second she blinks, his dark, dark eyes somehow catch hers just as he’s tipping his head down, lowering the plastic bottle from his lips.

“No!” Sakura squeaks, dropping her eyes to her lunch-tray so fast she has to blink furiously to bring herself back to reality. It happened so fast—so fleeting and quick she has to wonder if he even registered their brief eye contact.

(But he’s a genius, stupid. Of course he totally caught you eyeballing him! Pull yourself together!)

“Forehead? You good?”

It takes a second for Sakura to catch her breath, anxiety sweeping her whole frame and filling her stomach with tingles that she’s not quite sure feel good or bad. Its his eyes, she thinks. They’re so . . . Intense. So dark and strange and filled with something she can’t explain. It makes her feel like jelly all over.

(And technically, that’s the second time he’s ever looked at her!) Sakura mentally drops her head in shame. So pathetic . . .

“—you okay?” All of her friends, except Ino who sits next to her, blink at her from the other side of the table, concerned.

Sakura snaps back to earth and smiles a little too brightly, waving her hands as if to dismiss their worry. “Y-Yeah! Totally fine. Peachy. Absolutely perfect.” She laughs nervously, palming the back of her neck with a twitching smile.

Karin’s expression turns serious and Sakura almost reels in surprise. “No, really Sakura. What’s up with you? You’re being all . . .” Her lips purse in thought as she tries to find the right words to describe her mousey pink friend. “Skittish and weird.”

Tenten and Hinata bob their heads in sudden agreement, as if just now realizing Sakura’s strange behavior themselves. Ino merely sighs, parting her lips to fill them in on all the details when she is rudely interrupted.

“Sakura! Sakura!” A feminine voice shouts (shrieks) from behind her and Sakura jerks her head over her shoulder in alarm, long pink hair—pulled halfway back and fixed with a yellow ribbon—whipping Ino in the face.

A girl with short purple hair runs full speed towards her, huffing and puffing when she makes it to their table, as if she had ran across half the country just for Sakura. The pinkette blinks in astonishment. For a moment she considers covering her head, because surely the sky is falling. “Ami?”

Still huffing, bent over with hands upon her sock-covered knees, she breathes quickly. “You—I can’t believe you threw a love letter at Sasuke-kun’s head! What the hell were you thinking, stupid! Have you even heard what everyone’s been saying!”

Several chairs screech backward when Sakura—along with Karin and Tenten—leap like frogs from their seats, palms slamming upon the table. Her forgotten miso soup sloshes over the rim when the surface shakes.

“What!” They all scream in unison, sharing the same horrified expression. Hinata merely squeaks.

The cafeteria immediately falls silent at the outburst. Even though every head is turned in their direction, Sakura becomes hyper-aware when she knows without a doubt that Sasuke is looking at her—all loud and obnoxious, she wonders how she can ever redeem herself in those dark eyes that are burning holes onto her face right now. She doesn’t even dare look.

(God, he’s judging you so hard right now.)

But it’s not like she could help it! She totally did not give Sasuke a love letter, dammit! Sue her for being upset; she should have known rumors would begin to circulate. It wasn’t like she was fucking subtle about it when she nailed the side of Sasuke Uchiha’s head with a wad of paper in front of the whole biology class of forty-five people.

Hinata looks like she wants to run to the bathroom in humiliation at the sudden limelight, and Ino is slack-jawed, speechless. Tenten and Karin exchange disbelieving looks before turning back to Sakura slowly, carefully, as if afraid of scaring her off with their next sentence. “You. . . You did what?”

When not-so-hushed whispers and stifled snickers start to erupt all around them, Sakura plops back into her seat, properly mortified—again. Heat fills her cheeks, lips trembling when she whispers: “I didn’t. . .”

The second Karin and Tenten settle back into their seats, Ino stands abruptly, chair scraping noisily against linoleum. “What the hell! Sakura didn’t give anyone a love letter, it was for me!” She snaps at Ami, who edges backward at the rage in Ino’s voice. “We were passing a note back and forth and Sasuke just happened to intercept! Tell your little friends to stop spreading false crap and get your facts straight or i’ll—“

“Ino!” Hinata gasps when the blonde starts rolling up her uniform’s sleeves. But Sakura is already laying a hand on her friend’s forearm in warning.

“Ino, you’re causing a scene!” Sakura bites out through clenched teeth, nearly groaning out loud in irritation. Just how many times is she going to draw attention to herself today! “Sit down!”

“I—I’m not trying to cause trouble, you idiots! I came here to warn you.” Ami casts a shifty glance from side to side before dropping her voice so that only their table can hear. “I overheard it in the hallway; everyone’s saying you smacked him in the head with a love letter. Somebody else said it’s because he rejected you.”

Sakura’s mouth flounders in incredulity. “That did not—what! That’s not even . . . “ She glances around the cafeteria and its only now that she notices the waspish looks being thrown her way. Glares. So many of them. And they’re whispering. Sakura groans, shoving her tray away and crossing her arms over the table, burying her head. Because not only has she ruined any chance of being in good graces with Sasuke ever, she’s also drawn a big fat target on her back.

Why me . . .

“There, there, Forehead.” Ino says lightheartedly with a pat on her back as she sits back down. “It could be worse.”

Sakura straightens up at this, her face awash with disbelief. “How?!”

Ino simply smiles. “He could have actually rejected you.”

She tries to think of a nasty retort, but Ino’s kind of right. (For once.)

“Yeah!” Tenten chimes in cheerfully. “Besides, it wasn’t actually a love letter right?”

Sakura shakes her head, sick to her stomach. No. It was so much worse. At her sudden change in expression, Karin takes over carefully, crimson eyes narrowed in uncertainty. “Sakura. . . What exactly was in that note?”

Her locker is jammed.

Of course it is, she grumbles sourly to herself, because clearly she can’t catch a break today. Her fist bangs against the cool metal in frustration.

Breathe, Sakura. Just breathe—

Her mood plummets even further when a trio of girls she’s never even seen before pass by, pointing and sniggering at her expense.

“—the girl Sasuke-kun rejected.”

“No way, I would hate to be her.”

“Did she really throw a love letter at his head? How embarrassing.”

Sakura scowls at them darkly, but instead of scaring them off like she hoped, they only laugh harder behind their manicured nails before disappearing down the hallway corridor.

Filthy witches, Sakura seethes inwardly.

The warning bell trills through the emptying halls. She’s going to be late if she doesn’t get this stupid thing open. Her chemistry notebooks are in there and unfortunately, that’s the one class she actually needs to take notes in. Cursing, she yanks the locker handle, hiking her foot against the wall for better leverage.

(Come on, come on, come on—!)

By some miracle, the locker finally bursts open. She stumbles backwards while everything inside spills to the floor in a waterfall of loose leaf papers and notebooks. Yanking on her long pink tresses in aggravation, she tries not to let out a high pitched scream. She huffs, bending over and attempting to scrape the papers up off the floor when a sudden (large) tan hand shoots out.

Sakura jumps back, startled.

“Woah, hey! Relax—I just thought you looked like you could use some help.”

She blinks stupidly, eyelashes fluttering several times in succession before she takes in the friendly cerulean eyes, strange whisker marks and sunshine hair.

“You’re—you’re. . .” Her mind stutters and she swallows hard. He’s taller than her, she notices immediately, the tip of her head just reaching under his nose. His shaggy blond hair falls carelessly over his crinkling eyes and Sakura can’t help but feel starstruck by his charming presence.

“Naruto.” He introduces cheerfully before laughing at her baffled expression. It’s a sound so genuine and pure that Sakura’s mood lightens immediately. She’s grinning before she can help herself.

“Ah—Right, right!” Shaking out of her daze, she quickly bows to introduce herself. “I’m—“

“Sakura Haruno,” he finishes for her, taking her by complete surprise. She straightens up and cocks her head to the side.

“Y-Yeah . . .” She drops her gaze bashfully, toes curling inward. “How’d you know?”

(Since when do popular guys know who she is, anyway! She’s a nobody!)

He scratches the nape of his neck sheepishly before bending down to sweep up the rest of her papers. “I—Well, I don’t know if you’ll remember but,” Sakura leans down to help pick up the last few pieces of paper before he passes over the rest of her stack. She cradles them to her chest, nods in thanks and listens intently. “freshmen year we were in math together. I really sucked at it, you know?” He chuckles uneasily and Sakura can’t help but wonder if he’s somehow nervous. But that’s not possible because why would Naruto Uzumaki ever be nervous around her? “But one day I was stuck on a certain question, god it was so stupid, but you were sitting in front of me and Iruka-sensei wasn’t looking so I tapped your shoulder and asked for your help. You were the first girl who ever bothered to help me. You know, before I joined the baseball team that is.” His grin turns sheepish and there’s something about it that suddenly makes him look like a child. His cheeks are pink. “It’s . . . kind of hard to forget something—someone—” he corrects quickly. “—like that.”

Sakura thinks there’s no way she would forget something like that, but considering Naruto hadn’t really risen in popularity until Sophomore year, she supposes it would make sense that she hadn’t even bothered to remember his face. As terrible as that sounds, it just wasn’t a striking memory. She feels bad.

Sakura bows apologetically, pink hair spilling over her shoulders. “Please forgive me. I don’t remember—“

A firm hand on her shoulder has her squeaking in surprise. Her head jerks up, green eyes wide. “It’s okay, really, Sakura-chan.” Pink eyebrows raise in astonishment at the sudden endearment, but his smile is so contagious and it sounds so natural coming from his deep raspy voice that her shoulders slacken a little. “I just figured I’d tell you, you know, so I don’t come off as some kind of a creep.”

“Of course not!” She blurts with a little more volume than necessary.

(Because, gods, this is Naruto Uzumaki! The man who helped win KHS’s national baseball tournament three years in a row! And practically Sasuke’s right hand man. He’s so cool, how could he ever think he was a creep?!)

Sakura voices none of these inner thoughts, but flushes immediately at his puzzled expression. “S-Sorry it’s just—“

“Hey, wait a second. . .” He begins suddenly, face inching closer as cerulean eyes squint in scrutiny, studying her like she’s a curious specimen under a microscope. Her heart picks up the pace and she takes a hesitant step back. (Because why is he looking at her like that!) She immediately shrinks, uncomfortably vulnerable beneath his hardening gaze. “You—aren’t you the one who threw the love letter at the bastard this morning?”

Sakura nearly chokes, heart thumping like a war-drum inside her chest. (I guess this is my life now.) She flushes several shades of red before stuttering out: “No! That wasn’t—I didn’t—!”

He looks taken aback by her discomfort, and he quickly waves his hands defensively. “Relax, Sakura-chan! I wasn’t going to tease you or anything. In fact, I was laughing so hard when I heard I nearly fell off my chair! I wish I hadn’t been sleeping in Biology, I would have paid to see his face!”

Sakura grimaces, cheeks pink, clenching the papers against her chest tighter, as if it could protect her from this humiliation that has so quickly ruined her life. “It wasn’t a love letter.” She grumbles sulkily.

He simply laughs. “You should have seen the bastard’s face at lunch when someone brought it up. He was so embarrassed!” So that’s what he was laughing so hard about, Sakura muses with dread. But then her heart twists painfully when she registers what Naruto just said.

‘He was so embarrassed!’

Oh, man. Sakura screws her eyes shut. (I’m so sorry, Sasuke-kun!)

“T-That wasn’t my intention.” She says earnestly, hoping Naruto understands.

Naruto smiles brightly, shifting to shove a lazy hand in the pocket of his slacks and waving dismissively with the other. “Oh, he’s fine. He’ll get over it. It’s definitely not the first time he’s gotten a love letter,” he pauses in thought before adding with a cheeky grin: “although, I’m pretty sure it’s the first time one’s ever been thrown at his head.”

“Well, I’ll see you around Naruto.” She abruptly spins on her heel, intending to walk away before he can make her feel even worse. Cute, popular guy be damned. She doesn’t even bother putting the rest of her stuff back in her locker. She’ll carry her whole damn academic career in her arms if it means escaping from the blond who is so clearly poking fun at her misery.

“Wait! Sakura-chan, I was just kidding—!”

Sakura walks faster, picking up the pace when she hears his dress shoes clacking against the linoleum behind her. Nope. Not happening. And when she feels him closing in on her, she breaks out into a run (she’s going to be late and she needs to get away from this guy before she spills ugly fat tears!)

When the final bell rings through the hall, she careens down the corridor like she’s being chased by a rabid dog, frowning when she still hears his footsteps behind her.

Naruto pumps his legs wildly, desperately trying to keep up with Sakura’s incredibly insane speed and he can’t help but stare after her in amazement. God damn this girl’s fast!

Running even faster, she bolts down the next hallway, huffing and puffing, before she swiftly rounds the corner—

“Uaah!” She slams into something hard.

Sakura flies backward, arms flailing, papers bursting into the air and fluttering like snowflakes all around her before they float innocently to the ground. Her head smacks the hard tile and for a moment everything goes white. Stars swim across her vision.

I’m dead. I’m dead. I’m dead. I died. I’m dead.

There’s a soft, pained grunt a little ways from her, but her vision isn’t clear enough to see what—or who—it is. Slowly, she struggles to sit up, rubbing at the lump forming on the back of her head underneath her satin yellow bow. She moans quietly when the pain shoots from the back of her head to the base of her spine. Yup, definitely a trip to the nurses’ office.

“O-Ouch.” She mumbles.

She cracks an eye open, only for every muscle in her body to freeze.

Because there, sitting on the ground in front of her, is Sasuke Uchiha.

(Yeah, she’s definitely dead.) .

“You.”

Sakura tenses like a coiled spring, bristling with a hurricane of emotions.

Because first of all: ‘you.’

(Not: ‘Are you alright?’ ‘Are you hurt?’ ‘I’m so sorry’ ‘Let me help you up’)

Nope. Just a very deep, accusing ‘you.’

Sakura’s not sure what hurts more; the fact that he hadn’t even addressed her by name, (because he definitely knows it by now.) or the fact that he bypassed her wellbeing completely in favor of glaring muderously at her. She stiffens when he rises effortlessly to his feet—he really is tall—and has to crane her neck to look up at his scowling expression from her pitiful position on the floor. He impatiently wipes the dirt from his spotless uniform.

She gulps.

There’s a desperate clack-clack-clack growing ever closer, the sound of shoes against tile echoing in the barren halls, and it’s only when she hears the obnoxious “Sakura-chan!” that she winces. “Sakura-chan, are you—oh.”

Naruto skids to a screeching stop when he takes in the situation before him, head swiveling left and right. Large cerulean eyes blink at Sasuke’s arrogantly cocked eyebrow, before Naruto’s expression darkens considerably.

“Watch where you’re going, you stupid bastard!” Naruto chides, immediately at her defense as he helps Sakura to her feet. His loyalty would be endearing if it wasn’t Sasuke Uchiha he was aiming to piss off. When she finds her balance, he begins to fix the yellow ribbon that fell askew during her graceless fall. She can’t help but blush.

“T-Thanks, Naruto, but I don’t need—“

She’s interrupted by a bitter scoff. “She ran into me, idiot.” His dark eyes lock onto Naruto in blatant irritation before they flicker almost reluctantly to hers. She wants to step backwards at the animosity she sees in them, but his intense gaze skewers her in place. “Watch where you’re going next time. . .” The Uchiha promptly side-steps them.

“. . .annoying.” He mumbles as an afterthought when he brushes past her shoulder, continuing his way down the corridor as if he’d never been interrupted in the first place.

Annoying?!

She blinks after him, openly gaping at the audacity. The nerve! The absolute gall of that guy! Her foot stomps childishly before she can help it and she crosses her arms with a huff.

But Naruto, clearly having none of Sasuke’s usual bullshit, swivels around immediately, lips floundering indignantly as he jabs a finger at his best friend’s back. Obviously, he’s not going to let Sasuke get away so easily.

“Now you wait just a minute, you bastard! Get back here and apologize to Sakura-chan right now or I’ll—!”

“Shh! Naruto!” Sakura reprimands fiercely, yanking his accusing arm down. “S-Shut up!” She casts a terrified, fleeting glance at the Uchiha’s back, praying he would ignore Naruto’s unfinished threat and pretend none of this ever happened.

(Because the last thing she needs is to provoke the very guy who could crush what’s left of her reputation in an instant!)

But because she’s somehow subject to torture, Sasuke’s tall form has already paused mid-step. While a brief moment of tense silence hangs in the air, Sakura considers jumping out one of the windows that line the hallway. Since she’s on the second floor, she calculates the possibility of whether she’d die on impact or simply cripple herself.

She stiffens, spine snapping straight as a toothpick, when Sasuke suddenly throws a challenging glare over his shoulder, black bangs flopping over narrowed eyes. “Or you’ll what?”

Naruto reels, clearly taken off-guard by the sudden intensity of the Uchiha’s threatening tone.

Wait a second, aren’t they friends?

Sakura looks between them helplessly, head swiveling side to side as if watching an intense match of tennis, wondering if she should say something to ease the tension when Naruto’s jawline tweaks in anger. He tilts his chin downward and without warning, once-friendly blue eyes fill with pure rage and a raw promise of pain that would send a lesser man screaming with his tail tucked between his legs. “Or I’ll beat your fucking ass.”

Sakura can’t stop the sharp gasp that escapes past her lips. She takes several steps backward because Naruto looks simply terrifying and she swears his pupils shrink to slits.

Lightning crackles dangerously between them as they stare each other down.

W-What the heck is wrong with these guys!

Oh gods, she’s needs to get out of here, right now! (She has a chemistry class to get to, dammit!) There’s no time for this! Before either of the boys have a chance to act on whatever personal ill-will they have towards each other, Sakura skirts around the hallway in a pink blur, scraping up her lost papers and notebooks before scampering down the hall in the opposite direction.

“—WasNiceToMeetYouGottaGo!” She nearly trips over her own feet in her haste but she doesn’t slow down nor does she dare to look back.

“Wait, Sakura-ch—!”

But she’s already rounding the corner at the opposite end of the hall and out of sight.

Seriously, how is she so fast?!

--------------------------------------------

Thoughts? :D Lmao this is so fun to write, if i’m being honest. Dorky!sakura is the best sakura...

#sasusaku #fanfiction #sakura x sasuke #highschool #au #captain!

106 notes · View notes

southboundhq · 6 years ago

Photo

MEET OCTAVIA,

FULL NAME › Octavia Medakovic AGE › twenty six GENDER › Cis woman (She/Her/Hers) FROM › Worcestershire, England RESIDENCE › Downtown neighborhood OCCUPATION › Owner of the Coyote’s Howl Bar NOW PLAYING › Moonlight Serenade by Glenn Miller

BIOGRAPHY,

trigger/content warnings: murder, criminal activity, blood, stabbing, knives, car accident, death, parental loss

Octavia was the whiz kid, everyone in town knew her for her spelling bee wins, for the book competitions she entered, and the science projects she always aced. Everyone knew her for her brain and for that her parents were extremely proud. Octavia was born to Elimarie Kingston and David Medakovic in a small town called Great Malvern. The town Great Malvern was a small place just a thirty minute drive from Worcestershire, England. With it’s traditional looks and tendency to rain Octavia was off to a proper British start the second she was brought into the world. Elimarie and David had met on travels in Russia fourteen years before and quickly became a couple. Elimarie was a linguist who worked for intelligence companies all around the world while David was a small time scientist for Outmarch.

When they’d met Elimarie had been on a business trip translating for the government and David had been on an extraction job testing different diseases in the laboratory. The connection had been instant and fourteen years later they were married, living in David’s home town and having a baby girl. Elimarie had moved to Great Malvern after visiting, she’d fallen in love with all the old-time scenery,the hills, and the town. She’d said she almost felt like she wasn’t in Britain most of the time. From the moment she was born, Elimarie knew that their child would be special, she already planned to have so much in store for her daughter that nothing would change her view on it. David knew he’d always be the laid back parent compared to his loving wife, he liked the idea of doing fun things with his daughter like taking her out for ice cream and spoiling her. As soon as Octavia was three years old, Elimarie had her in piano lessons teaching her every possible thing she could, by the time she was five she was in Russian, Korean, French, Latin, and Icelandic lessons. Most people thought Elimarie was mad but she could see what she was doing — preparing her daughter way before the other kids had even began to think for themselves.

It was no doubt that David was Octavia’s down time where he’d sneak her away early from lessons, treat her to things her mother said she couldn’t have. But even though David was the one most children would classify as their favourite, Octavia always found herself wanting her mother when it came down to things. Octavia for a six year old child was adult-like in her choices, decisions, and thinking. She liked to think that she was preparing for the world that most of her friends were shielded from, the fact that things were being handed to them instead of them doing things that could help their career. It was then that Octavia became goal-orientated, assertive and extremely intelligent Octavia’s intelligence didn’t stop with languages and music, as she grew so did her capability to learn. Books became Octavia’s best friends, sports became her hobby, and knowledge became her everything. If Octavia wasn’t reading, at the gym, or learning something new then she was either sick or tired — her mother had grown accustom to her daughters actions.

But as soon as high school came into the picture things began to change. Everything that Octavia had been learning then seemed to become too much, focusing on certain things and tuning others out became a problem. She couldn’t seem to concentrate on one thing without asking a billion questions around something simple, she quickly brought up the problem to her mother; concerned, her mother took her to see a doctor. After many tests, physical and psychological, it came back that she suffered with two things: Eidetic memory and Low Latent inhibition. Eidetic memory wasn’t the thing that was causing her focusing problem but it had aided towards her learning capability.

Low Latent Inhibition, a psychological condition in which one sees the world as pieces, rather than mere objects. This allows Octavia to create plans and make thorough decisions rapidly but also when seeing something, she notices all the things that go with it instead of just a stand-still object, as the normal world/mind would see it. With her having a high IQ, it aided towards her sanity, seeing as most people who suffer tend to find themselves slipping into a schizophrenic state, unlike the people with a higher IQ that become what others would refer to as a technical “genius.”

After her parents found out about this they decided that maybe a change of scenery would do the family good, and to their luck David was offered a job in the states as a scientist. Taking the opportunity straight away, with Octavia just being eligible for High School they knew it was the right thing to do- so they moved. High school became her sole priority after this always wanting to use her mind to learn more, posses more information, and be able to create things that others thought impossible. Still completely in love with languages, Octavia knew that was where she wanted to head just like her mother. She liked the idea of travelling, seeing the world and discovering new things. Along the journey of her freshman year she also fell in love with history and oceanology.

But of course nothing can ever be perfect in life, senior year came around quickly and when that happened everything in Octavia’s life fell apart. While out with a few of her friends she received a phone call stating that she needed to come down to the local hospital. Upon arrival it was announced that both her parents had been in a car collision and both passed away. In that moment everything in her life died.

It was a hard grind for someone who was basically still a child, even though she had prospects and acceptances to some of the best schools in the country she left and got a part time job as a waitress to carry on paying for the house that she lived in with her parents.

After her parent’s untimely death, Octavia dropped out of school in order to look after herself, but when she met Lucas Kandin everything changed. Like an angel he came out of the darkness to bring her something different than what she had ever experienced before.

Lucas, a wanted criminal was known for Art theft, bond forgery, racketeering, money laundering, Identity theft and a list as long as your arm took a poor beautiful girl under his arm. Octavia became his protégé with her quick silver like mind and intellect she was a perfect candidate to train and use in his game. And Octavia succeeded as she relished in the life of different names, hotels, scams and living the high life.

Now

Now she’d parted ways with Lucas, a man who popped up from time to time, she lived a high life in Seattle but how long before it caught up with her? Before she got caught? How long could she keep up this facade? Octavia, who?

Fast forward three years and Octavia is living in Boot Hill in an apartment that she had brought herself in Downtown. It was a crazy incident; a stabbing in a close call situation. Hands were covering her stomach as she wondered if it would be her last breath. She was ordered away by Lucas.

Told to leave town and find somewhere new to live that no one would know her, she should stay there until he came for her. Boot Hill seemed like the perfect location to hide — no one would think to look for her there. The whole place was strange and even she could tell that from the moment she arrived. There was something around that gave her the shivers at times.

Owner of the Coyote Howl’s Bar; brought for her by Lucas to give her something to do. It was her baby, something she enjoyed doing while she sat like a waiting duck. Octavia is simply wanting to meet some new people as she has kept herself to herself except for her regulars that drink in her bar.

Personality

Octavia was sophisticated, charming, abrupt and seductive, with a wide range of knowledge from art, foreign languages, culture and many unspeakable things. All of which was self-taught, a beautiful face occupied the intelligent mind. Octavia was very good at talking her way in and out of things, her beauty something she used often to get her the things she wanted. Including bank cards and the best of the best in luxuries. Octavia was a scam artist. Why was she not behind bars? Evidence. Octavia was good at covering her tracks with Alias’s. Very much into the high life, you’d find her tastes fit more to fine bars and underground casinos and clubs where she could find her next target. Octavia isn’t trustworthy but she’ll make you trust you with a bat of her eye lashes and her perfect smile. How could you say no?

❝ you can’t have intelligence without a little bit of madness. ❞

CENSUS,

FACECLAIM › Phoebe Tonkin AUTHOR › Billie

#phoebe tonkin #rp #rpg #town rp #new rp #oc rp #{ all. }#{ local. }#{ f. }#{ over twenty. }#{ billie. }#murder tw #death tw #car accident tw #parental loss tw

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saleintothe90s · 5 years ago

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406. Stalking

I’m always fascinated about how a stalker works — what drives them to never forget a person. To think about them every day, all day. The money spent on following the person around, the postage spent.

One of the most infamous celebrity stalkers of the 1980s and 1990s was Margaret Ray, who stalked David Letterman. Ray, who was schizophrenic, constantly broke into Letterman’s home in Connecticut, often sleeping on the tennis court. In 1988, she convinced housepainters that she was his housekeeper and she drove off with his Porsche—when she was arrested on the New Jersey side of the Lincoln Tunnel, she told cops she was David Letterman’s wife and her child (who was in the car with her) was the son she had with Letterman.

In October of 1998, Ray committed suicide by kneeling in front of a train. Before her death, she turned her obsessions to astronaut Story Musgrave. 1 Letterman didn’t escape his stalkers however, in 2005 a former painter at his ranch in Montana plotted to take Letterman’s son, Harry for ransom. 2

The young actress Rebecca Schaffer was murdered by a deranged fan while her career was on the rise. Robert Jean Bardo tried to come on the set of her short lived sitcom My Sister Sam several times (including bringing a knife one time), but was turned away each time. Bardo’s decision to kill Schaffer came when he saw her in the movie Scenes from the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills in which there was a scene in which she was in bed with a character. 3 He accessed Schaffer’s address through a personal detective who attained the address through DMV records. 4. On July 18, 1989 he arrived at her doorstep. He spoke with her briefly, she signed an autograph, and told him to leave. Bardo arrived back at the apartment shortly after. Schaffer opened the door thinking it was the script to Godfather III in which she was going to audition for later that day. Bardo shot her in the chest, killing her almost immediately.

One of the earliest cases of internet stalking came in 1994 when Andrew C. Archambeau wouldn’t stop emailing and leaving voicemails to a woman he met through a video dating service. In one of his emails he said:

"I've been trying to court you, not stalk you," Mr. Archambeau wrote her electronically on April 15. "If you let me, I would be the best man, friend, lover you ever could have."

Unfortunately, he lived in Michigan which was one of the earliest states to extend stalking laws to cyber space. 5 It was hard to find information, but I believe he was charged with a misdemeanor. 6

(source)

Former White House intern Tangela Burkhart stalked George Stephanopoulos (then President Clinton’s communications adviser) while at the White House and in the years following. When he moved to New York City, so did she. 8 In late 1999, Burkhart was spotted three days in a row at a coffeehouse Stephanopoulos frequented. In 1998, she was arrested twice for stalking him. 9 In early 2000, she was ordered to stay away from parts of New York City. 8

After their daughter went missing in 1974, the family of Amy Billig received consent phone calls for nearly 20 years from a man who claimed that he knew where Amy was, or he knew what was being done to Amy:

Throughout the ordeal, the one constant in their lives was the caller -- Mrs. Billig describes his voice as "low, threatening" -- from whom they began hearing within weeks of the disappearance. In one call, according to court documents filed in the case against Mr. Blair, the man told Mrs. Billig that "she would be abducted like her daughter and sold into a slave trade." In another, he told her she only had two weeks to live. 10.

In October of 1995, the police finally caught up with him. By tracing his calls to a cell phone they discovered that the caller was Henry J. Blair, a 47 year old veteran of the United States Customs Service. A married guy with two kids. He was found guilty of misdemeanor stalking in March of 1996. Blair claimed:

In his confession, Blair blamed his calls on obsessive-compulsive behavior arising, he said, from the stress of his job. He claimed he never sought psychiatric counseling because it might have wrecked his career. “Just a bunch of crank calls” is how he described his vicious campaign, insisting that he “would never act out on anything…. The pressures would mount. I would call, and then it would subside.” 11

Finally, this article:

What 9 year old pre-internet says that?! I guess he got it from a song?

1. Bruni, Frank. “Behind the Jokes, a Life Of Pain and Delusion; For Letterman Stalker, Mental Illness Was Family Curse and Scarring Legacy.” The New York Times, November 22, 1998, sec. New York. https://www.nytimes.com/1998/11/22/nyregion/behind-jokes-life-pain-delusion-for-letterman-stalker-mental-illness-was-family.html

2. “Letterman Tot Kidnap Plot Foiled.” Accessed February 13, 2020. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/letterman-tot-kidnap-plot-foiled/.

3. Moffatt, Gregory K. Blind-Sided: Homicide Where It Is Least Expected. Westport, Conn: Praeger, 2000. 94-95.

4. EW.com. “Six Years Ago Rebecca Schaeffer Was Fatally Shot.” Accessed February 13, 2020. https://ew.com/article/1995/07/14/six-years-ago-rebecca-schaeffer-was-fatally-shot/

5. Lewis, Peter H. “Persistent E-Mail: Electronic Stalking or Innocent Courtship?” The New York Times, September 16, 1994, sec. U.S. https://www.nytimes.com/1994/09/16/us/persistent-e-mail-electronic-stalking-or-innocent-courtship.html.

6. Casey, Eoghan. Digital Evidence and Computer Crime: Forensic Science, Computers and the Internet. 2nd ed. London ; San Diego, Calif: Academic Press, 2004. 160.

7. Stephanopoulos, George. All Too Human: A Political Education. Boston: Back Bay Books, 1999. 298.

8. The Buffalo News. “EX-BUFFALONIAN IS ORDERED TO AVOID STEPHANOPOULOS,” January 13, 2000. https://buffalonews.com/2000/01/13/ex-buffalonian-is-ordered-to-avoid-stephanopoulos/.

9. Barron, James. “Public Lives.” The New York Times, September 21, 1999, sec. New York. https://www.nytimes.com/1999/09/21/nyregion/public-lives.html.

10. Navarro, Mireya. “The Night Caller: 21 Years of Unspeakable Grief.” The New York Times, December 3, 1995, sec. U.S. https://www.nytimes.com/1995/12/03/us/the-night-caller-21-years-of-unspeakable-grief.html.

11. PEOPLE.com. “The Night Caller.” Accessed February 14, 2020. https://people.com/archive/the-night-caller-vol-45-no-8/.

#stalkers #1990s #1980s #rebecca schaeffer #george stephanopoulos #stalking #david letterman

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jenosweave · 6 years ago

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college!kun

FINALLY A KUN REQUEST!! this is one of my favorites please enjoy and don’t let me flop!!

let’s start w the basics…

major: linguistics

minor: comparative literature

extracurriculars: book club

other: literally writing his own novel??

school life

kun is such a good student

he always does his work on time and tries to get ahead when he can

he’s a plug too

he'll even do his friends’ readings and summarize it for them if they have a particularly busy week

he doesn’t allow himself to be used though

he just loves and appreciates his friends so much and wants to help them be successful when there are things they cant control that can get in the way of that

kun really enjoys his studies

his required courses are really stimulating and keep him on his toes

he loves leaving class every day feeling like he’s one step closer to understanding where language comes from and why we communicate the way we do

kun’s passion for linguistics sprouted from his adoration of reading

he’s a member of every book he could find on campus

he firmly believes the more you read, the more perspectives you’re able to see, which in turn, makes you a generally more enlightened and compassionate person

kun loves reading and language so much that he decided to just write his own book over the summer for fun

he sent a “very rough draft” to a local publisher

just for experience

and to get him used to rejection in case he ever wants to seriously pursue a career in writing someday

but now he’s fucked because

they actually liked it??? so he kind of has a book deal now??

which he was not expecting at all

there were a lot of comments for him to address as he expected

and the first one he decided to deal with was the lack of a love interest for his protagonist

except there’s only one problem with that

he has no idea how to successfully write for a love interest

so he does what any normal young writer would do to get inspiration

and goes to the university’s monthly speed dating event in the quad

early stages

you had been “too single for too long,” according to your best friend

and the only way you could get them to shut up about it was if you attended one of the school’s speed dating nights

and you decided it was worth the trouble, and made your way to the quad to get this over with

you had exactly two and a half minutes with every person you’d “date”

and for the most part, those two and a half minutes couldn’t go by fast enough

after talking to other students who only cared about football, trucks, and battlestar galactica, you were about ready to up and go

but your second to last “date” changed your mind

his name was kun

“alright this is gonna go by quick, so i’m gonna take the reigns if you don’t mind,” he spoke

he was oddly productive

you nodded

“great!’ he smiled. “any hobbies?”

“well, i love to read an-”

“reading? me too! what genres are you into?”

a wide smile stretched across his smooth face and his pupils dilated noticeably UGH CUTIE

“i mean, i like fantasy, historical fiction, biographies, science fi-”

“no way! me too!” he interrupts. “i just like all books so much!! i’m writing my own actually!”

you thought that was mighty impressive and asked him what his book is about

and he told you he can’t disclose that information because of his publishing deal

and youre like,,,, wA i T.. PUBLISHER?? THAT’S SO COOL!!

and he goes, “thank you! maybe you’d like to come and read it sometime when it’s finished.”

you couldn’t help but blush and turn your head away

and that’s when you noticed you only had ten seconds left on the stopwatch

you hurriedly seized the pen the event organizers had left on the desk and grabbed kun by the wrist, taking him by surprise and causing a slight gasp to escape his lips

you messily scribbled your number onto his forearm

and as soon as you had finished writing your digits, the timer rang

as you both departed from the table, kun shouted at you from a distance “how am i supposed to read this chicken scratch?!”

you shot him a smile playfully and shouted back

“text me!”

you didn’t receive a text that night

or the night after

but the night after that, your phone dinged as soon as you hopped out of the shower

“hey! this is kun from the speed dating thing. i hope this is the right number. i’ve already texted three wrong people and have had to explain myself to each of them. it’s really embarrassing. please confirm if this is you!”

you sent him a simple “:)” in response

“so does that mean you’re down to get a coffee with me tomorrow?”

“:)”

the next morning, you had the first of many, many morning coffee breaks outside the school library

these quick little meetups usually concluded with a quick sift through the library, where you’d each recommend each other your favorite books and read the prologues to each other over a hot cup of coffee

at first, the librarians used to kick you out for having drinks inside, but now youre clever and just hide your cups under your jackets

this became a weekly occurrence

and then it started happening twice a week

and now you basically see kun every other day

he even managed to get you to join the biographical book club with him, something you’d be way too nervous to do before meeting him

kun was such a good guy

you knew he was smart and funny and you knew he was caring and fun to be around

but what you didn’t know is that he had been smitten with you from the second you scribbled your number onto his arm

one day, as you were studying for your last final of the semester, you got a call from kun

you sent him the automated response, “sorry, i cant talk right now”

but he called right back anyway

“what is it?” you answered

“i’m sorry if you’re studying but this is super important and im so excited and i just have to tell someone!”

“what’s up kun?”

“my book! it’s finished! and i finally added in the love interest like the publishers asked!”

“I’M SO PROUD OF YOU BITCH

“finish studying! then we can facetime and i can read you a chapter!”

and so for the next thirty nights (even over your winter break), you and kun would facetime so he could read you a chapter until the book was finished

and you’d give him pointers at the end of each one so he could go back and revise once you had gone to sleep

the plot was incredible, honestly

the protagonist was a divorced middle-aged man whose wife left him for being too aggressive and absent-minded all the time

in the divorce, the wife got full custody of their teenage son

but when she goes on a business trip, the protagonist gets to watch the son

however, when he goes to pick the son up to take him to his house, hes nowhere to be found

so the novel follows this poor guy trying to find his missing son

but no one seems to be listening to him, so hes losing his mind

he’s working alongside the police and falls for the dci leading the investigation

and basically in the end it turns out he’s schizophrenic and his wife and son never existed at all

all of this was in his imagination

and he had just been showing up to the police station every day like a crazy person

kun did so much research for that

he even got the accuracy of his portrayal of a schizophrenic checked by his pal psych major!jungwoo

on the night kun finally finished reading to you

you were sh0000000000000k like what the fuck all that trouble for it all to be fake?? genius kun!!

so he asked for your feedback on the development and personalities of all his characters

you complimented him on how well he portrayed the dci

they weren’t your typical love interest

they were headstrong and witty and educated

and they were determined to help the protagonist find his son when no one else was listening to him

“you like them?” he asked you

“yes! they were so different than i had expe-”

“i was hoping you’d like them. i was inspired by you.”

your heart BURST!!!

“KUN THAT’S SO SWEET!”

and that’s when he explained to you why he went to speed dating to begin with, and told you he was so glad to have met you

because you were the “perfect muse”

and then he asked if you’d like to be his s/o

and of course

you said yes bc duh?? he’s kun??

relationship

kun is the cutest bf ever!!!

nothing has really changed between you two

you still have library and car dates

but now you hold hands sometimes

and when kun is feeling extra bold, he gives you a peck on the cheek

you guys have such a cute and innocent relationship

you can often be seen together on the campus quad where you met for the first time, you in kuns arms, him tickling your stomach to make you giggle

he’s so sweet and is so considerate of your needs

out of all the boys, he’s hands down the one most likely to change for you if you guys hit a rough patch

he always pays for food

which kind of ticks you off because what if one day he goes broke

but all he really cares about is your happiness and satisfaction

and he really just wants you to know that no one loves you quite like he does

and he tells you every day how grateful he is to have you in his life

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lovemesomesurveys · 6 years ago

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Do you read && like ‘and and?’ Do you HATE IT? Yeah, but I actually used to use that back in the day lol. Cringeeee. Why does everybody seek popularity? What’s wrong with being original? I don’t think everybody does? I most certainly don’t. I’m not shading those who do, but that’s just not me. Do you prefer hearing the blunt truth, or do you like sugarcoating? I mean, the truth sucks and it’s hard but if it’s something beneficial or important for me to know then tell me and be straightforward about it. Don’t be a jerk about it, though. Do you care what strangers think about you? I do and I don’t. Not as much as I used to apparently based on how I go out the house nowadays... Are you a girl that just wants to have fun? Some fun would be nice, but I don’t get a lot of that. Too much other shit going on.

Do you think heaven is a place on earth? No. Are you a perfectionist, or only human, born to make mistakes? Born to make mistakes it seems. Do you use any acne medication? No. Do you know when it’s just a little crush vs. true love? Yes. How often do you crack under pressure? I’m Humpty Dumpty, I cracked and haven’t been put back together. Have you picked out flower petals, saying, 'He loves me, he loves me not? Lol yeah, but just jokingly. Do you like to pace? Uh, I wouldn’t say I like to, it’s just something that happens sometimes. Are you a small town girl, or from the big city? * Im from a small, sh*tty city :’) <<< Same. How important is sexual attractiveness of a partner to you? I mean, there’s gotta be some attraction. However, if we vibe and I like their personality, that’ll make someone attractive, too. That’ll make them even more attractive. I can’t say looks don’t matter at all, but they’re definitely not the most important. Do you ever look in the mirror and are surprised by how good you look? HA, no. I avoid looking in the mirror as much as possible and when I have to it’s just like ew, gross. Do you ever look in the mirror and feel revolted? Yup. ^^ What is the worst career? Why do you hate it? I wouldn’t know. Do you have a hard time talking to people? Yes. How important is friendship to you? Why? I distanced myself and withdrew from everyone and I’ve been a very shitty friend. Is anybody in your family schizophrenic? If so, what is their life like? We suspect that someone might be. What’s something somebody can do to make you hate them instantly? It would take a lot to make me hate someone. How organized is your mind? How do you know it’s organized/disorganized? It’s not. My mind is a jumbled mess. Why do you hate drama, if you do? I mean, drama isn’t fun when you’re the one dealing with it. It adds a lot of stress and problems. I admit to being sucked into like celebrity drama, though. ha. Do you like it when you find yourself in a conflict? Uh, no. I avoid drama and conflict. How impulsive are you? Not very. I’m a planner and thinker. What kinds of questions do you not like being asked? In “real life” or surveys? In “real life” I hate being asked about career plans or what my plans in general are or why I’m not working, etc. In surveys questions about marriage, kids, and relationships get real old for me because I don’t plan on getting married or having kids and I’m single af, so my answers are always the same. I have no input. Why do you follow the religion that you do? Because that’s what I believe. Do you feel superior to others because you’re that religion? Absolutely not. What’s the greatest thing about science? Medical advances. I recently saw an anti-Obama sticker that said 'Sorry Yet?’ What the hell has he possibly done that would make people sorry? Or do you just hate him without even knowing why you do? Are you likely to crack under peer pressure? You asked me this already didn’t you? I said I’m Humpty Dumpty. Are you emotional or very stolid? I’m emotional, but I probably come off a bit stolid to others. I think I downplay or play it off in front of others a lot. Or at least I think I do. && whyy do people typee like thiss? do you like looking stupidd? =] I don’t see people typing like that anymore, honestly. Does it annoy you when people dumb themselves down to be cool? It would, yeah. I don’t know why they think that makes them look cool. How late do you go to bed during summer nights? I go to bed around 2 or 3 every night, regardless of what season it is. I’m not in school anymore and I don’t have a job. What’s a song you like from the genre you hate? Uhh. Do your siblings look like you? We have some similarities. Why do girls like six-packs? What’s wrong with a soft pillowy tummy? There isn’t anything wrong with either one, it’s a preference thing. To each their own. List 3 things that peeve you off. Loud eating sounds, hot weather, and being told to “calm down” or “it’s not that serious stop making such a big deal about it.”

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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doomonfilm · 6 years ago

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Thoughts : Starship Troopers (1997)

For years, I used to shoot down any notion that Starship Troopers was a classic movie. Many, many of my friends with excellent taste in movies attempted to persuade me otherwise, and like I fool, I didn’t listen. After hearing lots of critical evaluation of the film, particularly that of Rob Ager, I realized something : I failed to see the movie for what it really was. I had been taking the movie at face value, and for that reason alone, I failed to see the genius of it, but all that has changed now.

It’s the 23rd century, and Johnny Rico (Casper Van Dien) is a young man in love with Carmen Ibanez (Denise Richards), a fellow student with aspirations to be a pilot in the Federation. The armed force was created to defend Earth against Arachnids (or Bugs, as they’re commonly referred to), a threat that has emerged as a response to Earth’s explorations and colonization of space. Many of Carmen and Rico’s fellow students have become Citizens (members of the Federation) in hopes of gaining rights and proving themselves to their peers, and Carmen’s journey to become a pilot, in combination with her obviously developing feelings for fellow pilot candidate Zander Barcalow (Patrick Muldoon), causes Rico to become a Citizen as well, albeit as an infantry member. Rico quickly ascends to become squad leader, but an unfortunate call during a live round exercise results in the death of a fellow squad member. Career Sgt. Zim (Clancy Brown) stands up for Rico, who is publicly punished, but despite this, Rico decides the Federation is not for him. With one foot out the door, however, tragedy strikes in the form of a Bug invasion, resulting in the deaths of Rico’s parents, friends and former residents of the annihilated Buenos Aires, where Rico is from. With no home to go to, and a newly found desire for revenge, Rico rededicates himself to the Federation, now at war with the Bugs.

The American military has always had a way of subtly dehumanizing the enemy in order to gain popular favor for conflict, and Starship Troopers certainly embodies that idea by literally making the enemy Bugs. With the military being such a key element of their society, it must be sustained with no end in sight in order to thrive, and this dehumanization of enemies allows that sustainability. Furthermore, designating non-military as ‘civilians’ and military as ‘citizens’ continues to drive that idea home, as anyone who thrives any stature is almost forced to join for access to what seem like inalienable rights. This wouldn’t be an issue if the military had a fixed set of morals and goals, but as they learn more about the enemy, the culture shifts, which causes a sort of schizophrenic nature among the ranks as those deemed unimportant suddenly have value. All of these elements, as well as the zealotry found in those who partake and support in the military, completely demonstrate the concept of the ‘fog of war’.

As previously mentioned, my prior interactions with this movie found me taking it very literally and at face value, as if they were going for a proper science fiction film that checks all the boxes. It took learning about the director and his intentions with the film, however, to finally understand the genius levels of satire and commentary found within the frames of Starship Troopers. In terms of satire, it is a complete send-up of both space and war movies, leaning heavily into the tropes found in those genres and using them to propel characters towards (mostly) tragedy. In terms of commentary, its stance taken on the military is a scathing one. The film does not hold back when turning the microscope towards the effect it has on families and relationships (both romantic and otherwise). The fact that ‘administrative punishment’ is still used in such a technologically advanced society is also a bit of a dig at how the military ‘forms’ career soldiers (or, if you base their role on the punishment given to them, ‘slaves’).

For a film made in the 1990s, the special effects hold up surprisingly well, especially the aliens. A solid integration of internet and news media-style presentation seemed to be a glimpse into the future of what communication would eventually evolve into. Despite the film’s lighter tone at times, the violence is incredibly hyper-realistic, both in casual and combat scenes, which helps create a sense of danger and high-stakes in what would otherwise be a dark comedy. With all going on in the writing, the ability to have Rico as the center of both a love triangle and a separate unrequited, doomed romance still worked incredibly and surprisingly well.

Casper Van Dien manages to make his character pitiful enough in the beginning that his eventual transformation into a career military man is both jarring and equally convincing. Dina Meyer and her singular parallel focus on becoming military and winning Rico’s heart makes her short-lived victory on both fronts incredibly heartbreaking. Denise Richards plays enough of a tease to make you care for Rico, but is self-driven enough for us to not completely dismiss her character. Jake Busey brings a much needed sense of levity and a character that the audience can easily relate to. Neil Patrick Harris managed to break himself out of his child star shell with this role, playing young enough for his high ranking to fall into a sort of mental uncanny valley territory. Patrick Muldoon provides a solid foundation for the main love triangle to be formed upon, with his smugness and arrogance being the characteristics that drive him. Patrick Muldoon, Clancy Brown, and Michael Ironside are all perfectly cast as military leaders. Seth Gilliam turns in a memorable performance early in his career as a standout member of the Roughnecks. Amy Smart, Rue McClanahan and Brenda Strong also make memorable appearances.

Films like Starship Troopers continually remind me how good art can subvert expectations, as well as remind me how much time can change our personal perspectives. For as much as I love Robocop and consider it to be top-tier Paul Verhoeven work, I think I can safely say I’ve been converted to the camp that considers Starship Troopers a grossly underrated cult classic.

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