#and should go into compsci bc she had the best pattern recognition | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

monarda-citriodora · 4 months ago

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tbh i really do struggle to understand how the treatment of trans kids is any different than the treatment of gnc cis kids bc ime, it's the same. i have trans siblings and myself am trans right? and my observation is we got the same exact shit that gnc cis kids did but the main difference is our parents never punished us for it and since we never went to public school, we were able to be extremely nonconformist without the same level of social shame/pressures that many gnc kids experience that temper their nonconformity as they grow. what i find interesting is we only came out as trans after each one of us was "introduced" to society & rigid gender roles personally, whether that a stint in public school or starting college. even now we dont fit our preferred gender's roles either, existing between the binary in presentation and action

#it's been extremely interesting seeing the gender dynamics play out in our house since she came out #i honestly dont consider myself to have had much of a gender as a child #i considered myself a girl but i wasnt super committed to it from my memory #my family is extremely gender ambivalent #yet my mom constantly told my other afab sibling that our one of our amab siblings was just 'naturally' the most intelligent in the family #and should go into compsci bc she had the best pattern recognition #and tbh after taking formal math classes & studying a very math heavy degree i realized that #half the time she was just BS'ing stuff or making random connections that dont actually exist #like she *is* incredibly intelligent in some ways but i think it was really harmful how my mom put her intelligence as better than ours #and idk if some of it is bc she has a learning disability my mom was trying to overcompensate for #but like...my afab sibling and i also have learning disabilities #we never got that sort of treatment #idk just many thoughts this morning #and it feels like mom gave her slack that would have never been afforded to us #like. i really dont think my mom would have been as patient and understanding if my afab sibling & i left dishes in our room to mold #for months & would go weeks without showering #i feel like certain allowances & extra kindnesses have been granted to my sister that havent been to the rest of us #and i wonder how much of it is bc she was the only child my parents actually planned for & she was their eldest son for so long #like. my mom's always joked that i was inevitable/came with the wedding & my afab sibling was an accident #but that our sister. they planned #and that we didnt need accommodating like she did bc we are just so precocious and independent all on our own #which like...idk if that is inherent to our personalities or the result of her parenting that really does seem to coddle her amab children #bc she doesnt think they're capable of much

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