#and that I’m capable of better in theory but my body is still so used to shrinking and hiding

[glittertimes]

I think I finally understood the reason why I have so many weird friendship groups with people who end up being really mean and manipulative.

I’m basically just recreating my dysfunctional family over and over again!

[anilyan]

It’s my birthday, so I’m taking the chance to spread my agenda! ^^

Do you remember what the scribe of Enkanomiya said? “The Primordial One may have been Phanes.” Wouldn’t that confusion be understandable if Phanes both was and wasn’t the Primordial One? Or rather, if was just one part of the Primordial One, aka his soul?

I will argue that Venti is Phanes, and also two things about Phanes (that are technically their own theory):

Phanes is the soul of the Primordial One, just like what Cocouik was to Ochkan

Phanes was created through the Chemical Marriage between the Primordial One and Istaroth

Yes, I am coming back with a refined version of my old “Venti is Phanes” theory, after studying and organizing my thoughts and what I knew about the lore. The old post was pretty messy.

(I actually spent weeks preparing posts about other aspects of the lore, but meanwhile we got the moons web event that kinda ruined my time to shine, along with some leaked artifacts that basically confirmed much of what I was theorizing about, so I missed my opportunity and the things I was about to bring up won’t feel as special anymore. To feel a bit better, I decided to go back to my true agenda - Venti brainrot, that is. But I will still incorporate important lore parts that I studied into this post, and expand on them properly over time.)

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Section 1: What is Phanes? 2 theories:

First, let me remind you of what the book Before Sun and Moon says:

“The Primordial One may have been Phanes. It had wings and a crown, and was birthed from an egg, androgynous in nature. But for the world to be created, the egg's shell had to be broken. However, Phanes, the Primordial One, used the eggshell to separate the "universe" and the "microcosm of the world."”

The next theories about Phanes, that I will present next followed by connecting it with Venti, may be true at the same time:

» Theory 1: Phanes was born from a Chemical Marriage between the Primordial One and Istaroth

Many ties between the PO and Istaroth are obvious, not just because she was very very likely a Shade, but also because she was probably the Moon-themed White Queen to the PO’s Sun-themed Red King, who joined in a Chemical Marriage. That produced the egg/pearl/wtv that birthed Phanes, necessary to the creation of the world.

Please notice that there is evidence that, at some point, Istaroth was the Ancient Seelie who married the Traveler from Afar, but that is not incompatible with the fact that she was bound to the PO first. In fact, I think that the fact that she was likely the Ancient Seelie is a crucial aspect, especially given the crown that she dropped, which in turn was probably the golden-ring artifact created by the Rhine Maidens / moons who confered power to the PO. I have posts about that on the way.

Let me explain. I will summarize what a chemical marriage is (I will eventually make a post fully dedicated to this concept, and to show in detail why all the pairs I mention from genshin fit this doomed narrative).

The chemical marriage / chemical wedding is a concept in alchemy that represents an union of opposites: male and female, sun and moon, gold and silver, sulphur and mercury, body and spirit, red King and white Queen. DON’T mistake this with actual marriages or ship stuff, btw.

It’s meant to produce a new and improved product, the Rebis (an androgynous being, sometimes called the Philosopher’s child), or according to some tales, the Philosopher's Stone. That stone is a mythic alchemical substance capable of turning base metals such as mercury into gold or silver.

(I can’t help but recall that Venus/the morning star, aka Istaroth, in Chinese, is called Jīn-xīng (金星), the golden planet of the metal element - and Istaroth and her rhine maidens/moons/fates are likely responsible for the golden ring/crown mentioned in the drama Der Ring des Nibelungen.)

According to Jakob, the Seal of Chymical Marriage can be used to seal off the source of life, aka the Primordial Sea, which sounds similar to creating a world/pearl/philosopher’s stone/egg/dream bubble that floats in the sea of quanta or wtv is the logic used across Hoyoverse’s worlds. Basically, a necessary process to create the world, or perhaps reshape it and change it to be inhospitable for dragons yet hospitable for humans, essentially what the Primordial One did at the very beginning. In other words, the eggsehll was used to separate the sea, a sea of elements and souls and such that granted shapeshifting and abilities to the dragons, like a sort of hivemind that is incompatible with the individualism of humans. For more info on that, check the Men of Lithin book.

The Chemical Marriage is hinted at by Albedo, through the stages of the Magnum Opus in his Ascension - although in the game, the 2 last stages are swapped, with Rubedo coming before Citrinitas (perhaps to reinforce the goal to obtain gold) in the game.

That process also sometimes involves a dove. It’s in consideration to the 3 parts of a person, body (the king), soul (the seelie) and spirit (the dove), and in Christianity, the dove often represents the Holy Spirit. The marriage is sometimes blessed by a descending dove from starry heaven. The dove sometimes is the one that brings the ring. There are other trinities that can be associated with this.

Last but not least, here are all the pairs I could think of from Genshin that execute this, that I will elaborate in detail on a different post. They are made of a Seelie or prophetic being who shared forbidden knowledge with a King, who tried to save humanity by creating a hivemind, bringing tragedy: Traveler from Afar and Seelie (who may still be Istaroth), Decarabian and Amos, Zhongli and Guizhong, Deshret and the Goddess of Flowers, Liloupar and Ormazd, Remus and Sybilla, Ochkan and Ixlel… and potentially in the future either the Traveler with the Abyss Twin, or the Traveler with Paimon.

We can also compare Istaroth and PO to Chronus and Anake, two serpentine beings who created the egg that birthed the world. But according to some mythologies, what came from the egg was Phanes instead.

It’s technically more complicated than that, here is a list of alternate possibilities I found for his origins:

Phanes hatched from the egg of Chronos and Ananke

Phanes hatched from the cosmic/orphic egg placed in Aether (who was the personification of the bright upper sky and another son of Chronos)

Phanes is a first-born deity who emerged from the abyss and gave birth to the universe, and is a god of creation, light and goodness. The Abyss part is extra intriguing because the world has an abyss half, and some in-game books even compare wine with the Abyss, and also with the idea that drinking the abyss/wine is a way to acquire Forbidden Knowledge - check this video for more on that.

Sometimes Nyx is also involved - she is Phanes counterpart. In some tales, she is Phane’s wife, sometimes his daughter, and in others she creates an egg from which Phanes is born, so wtv. I don’t know who Nyx is (besides being likely The Night Mother from the book of the Six Pygmies), but it’s pretty clear that the Abyss half is under her responsibility in some way.

If you refer back to the quote from the book Before Sun and Moon…:

It doesn’t clarify if Phanes and the PO are the same entity or not, the scribe just decides to treat them as the same. I have my own explanation for it, in the next section precisely, but my answer would be “more or less”

It says that Phanes was birthed from an egg, but then proceeds to give a different purpose to the egg, or at least to the eggshell

Here is my interpretation: The PO and Istaroth created an egg/pearl with a chemical marriage, and Phanes was born from an egg. Once he broke the eggshell to be born, the eggshell was used (unclear if by the PO or Phanes) to change Teyvat, to create the world as it is now: a bubble separated from the rest of the universe by a fake sky, less hospitable for dragons, where Abyssal matter and the Primordial Sea stuff are separated from humans, etc. So technically, yeah, Phanes was involved in at least one step for creating the world, and that guaranteed step was the breaking of the eggshell.

This is not in the book, but in the Gnostic Chorus custcene, there is a black serpent tied surrounding the gnostic/genesis pearl. The pearl and an egg are sort of interchangeable, and according to mythology, Phanes is a figure that has the serpent Ananke coiled around him. So that matches up well.

» Theory 2: Phanes is the Primordial One’s soul, just like what Cocouik was to Ochkan

Och-kan, a half-human half-dragon being who hated dragons, sabotaged the plans of his father (the Sage of the Stolen Flame) by following the human Pyro Sovereign Xbalanque - and, after Xbalanque’s death, forbid people from worshiping either the Night Kingdom or even other gods. In his quest to save humans, he became a Tyrant, whose erratic behavior only got worse after excavations that led him to meet Ixlel.

Ixlel was a prophetic figure that used to lead the dragon civilization of the area in the past, who at first was an ally of Och-kan but, upon sharing secret knowledge and prophecies with him, was betrayed. She got revenge by convincing him to use his draconic nature to power his city, by putting his Soul in the Core of Chu'ulel (who later became Cocuik, freed only much later by Bona, after the Cataclysm). Even after Och-kan was overthrown by rebels, he couldn’t die because of that split between body and soul, and his now fully dragon body was used by his father to be an Abyssal conduit, until the interference of the Traveler in the present.

This story has many more details, and once again matches the concept of Chemical Marriage and prophecies that doom Kings, so you can check my post on the topic for proper details.

There are several similarities between Venti and Cocouik:

Color scheme and overall shape is the same, that was literally what everyone first thought when seeing it

In wisp form, he had 3 wings, or rather, 3 separate parts that didnt even connect to his body, they just floated behind him, sort of like the wings of the twins at the start of the game, and exactly like the 3 wings of Cocouik. And in human form, his Vision has a single wing with 3 parts.

The power that Cocouik displays against the dragon resembles the power that Venti lends to the traveler to use against Dvalin in the flying sequences. That is the power to supress the corrosive power of the Abyss - it’s what Venti uses, and it’s in the description of Cocouik’s ability too

The description of Cocouik also mentions a halo, within which the Traveler is protected form the Abyss, and halos are often associated with angels

So… if all of those things are comparable with Venti, why would the fact that Cocouik is the soul of a dragon not be?

Oh, right, there was a sus leak that broke my mind months ago and seemed completely nonsensical, but since I started cooking this theory, I can’t help but look back at it. It claimed that Venti was the guide of the Primordial One. Humm… yeah, if Venti was the soul of the PO, I could see that. Maybe he is assuming Istaroth’s role now that she is gone in supporting the PO?

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List of EVERYTHING sus and interesting about Venti

Some of the following things will correlate to the theories presented above, while others are just fun fancts that I didn’t know where to place.

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Appearance

» Wings:

I already discussed the relevancy of Venti’s angel form and how that ties with being a Seelie, and potentially cursed at first. But the wings are also relevant for another reason: Phanes is described has having wings.

But there is more:

Both in his fake Vision and in wisp form, he only has wings on one side of his body. Just like Cocouik. Possibly hinting at an incomplete nature, or at a duality of natures (dragon and seelie, or the others I already considered)

The wisp wing is formed sort of by 3 wings/parts, and the same is sort of true for the wing in his Vision. The number 3 might just be a coincidence, but it would also fit well with the connections between a chemical marriage and the involvement of the dove, with that third presence representing how a person has 3 parts, body, soul, and spirit. And I already argued why I think Phanes is the PO’s soul.

It’s also possible that this connects with the idea that angels supposedly have 6 wings. So by just having 3 or 3 parts, that is **half of that, aka half angel/**seelie

Funnily enough, in Archon Form he has a wing at each side, and I can’t fully point why that contrast given the previous 2 cases. It’s similar to what happens to Arlecchino in boss form.

Contrary to what the statues portray, the wings in Archon form don’t connect to his back, instead seemingly fusing with his cloak. In Wisp form, and Cocouik’s case, the wings also didn’t connect. That resembles the wings of the twins at the start of the game, the mechanical wings of The Sage of the Stolen Flame, and the wings of the Seelies/envoys always depicted in murals.

In Archon form, the wings have a circular metallic part further hinting at how the wings might be mechanical/not a part of the body. Besides that, the shape has 3 tips, and strongly resembles the wings of the boss Lord of Eroded Primal Fire / Gosoythoth when imitating the form of the Pyro Sovereign. Once again connecting Venti with dragons, although dragons and seelies are really just variations of the same species.

» Other characteristics:

Phanes is also described as androgynous, which, yeah, Venti definitely is. The androginity also matters in the context of a chemical marriage between a union of opposites, since Phanes is supposed to reunite the trates of both “parents”, and the gender-neutral appearance is not the only fusion relevant here. If he turns out to be part dragon part seelie, that is just as relevant.

One thing lacking in Venti, that Phanes has, is a crown. Not even his Archon form has one, at least, not so far. But some people point out that the base of his beret hat has a golden intricate line that could kinda be interpreted as a mini-crown.

Another interesting point about his appearance is the fact that, in wisp form, the top of his head was shaped like an apple, with even a stem and leaf-shape on top. I will talk about the relevance of apples next.

His whole wisp form heavily resembles Cocouik, the soul of a dragon, and I already went over why that matters in one of my theories. The powers Venti lends to the traveler to shoot against Dvalin also resemble the powers of Cocouik used against Ochkan.

And ofc, he has a Cecilia in his hat, and I will go over the relevance of that.

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“When I first arrived here, I too was like Dvalin, cursed and left to waste”

During the Mondstadt Archon quest, Venti says that "When I first arrived here, I too was like Dvalin, cursed and left to waste".

Here are some guesses of mine that could explain that:

We know that his Archon form presents him as an angel (source: manga, official arts, and in-game arts and statues) and that angels are seelies (thanks to Natlan’s Archon quest). We also know that the Seelies and Moon kingdom fell, probably symbolizing the end of the Unified Civilization, as a consequence of the marriage between a Seelie and a Traveler from afar, who in turn was likely the Second Who Came, who waged war more a less at the same time as Nibelung and his War of Vengeance. Refer to my (future) other theories for more details. What matters here is that, after that event, the Seelies were cursed to lose their minds and original form, thus why they present as we currently see them in-game. And if angels were seelies, that was probably Venti’s fate too, thus why he showed up as a wisp to the bard.

Since he is comparing himself with Dvalin, maybe his curse was instead related with abyssal corruption. We don’t know what happened to the Primordial One who is currently afk, but if Venti was his soul, and considering that Nibelung used forbidden knowledge and maybe even abyssal energy (unsure of how much those two things overlap), perhaps Nibelung tainted the PO in the confrontation.

Alternatively, maybe he was cursed at existence, which could also explain how he somehow got involved with the bard and the rebellion in Mondstadt and possibly didn't have a strong identity before that? If he was derived from the primordial one, and the PO was the Usurper who took the power away from the original dragons, I don’t think it would be unheard of in stories for the off-spring of authority figures to be cursed by those who hated them.

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Knowledge of secret information, and songs of the past, present and future

» About General types of knowledge:

He is the one narrating the Gnostic Chorus cutscene, so he knows about the origins of Teyvat and other important stuff.

He ruled Mondstadt for a long time alongside Istaroth (the Thousand Winds temple was used to worship both of them), so she might have shared relevant knowledge with him from the period of the Unified Civilization, and even from before that.

He knows of others worlds, and titans: "In other, distant worlds…Pangu gave his blood to form the rivers and seas…the gods sacrificed Purusha and cut his body to pieces, and then fashioned all living beings with those parts…the brain of the giant Ymir became clouds. Their sacrifices seeded life in the unliving cosmos. These songs sing of the primeval ones."

In fact, he tells the Traveler about that in the manga prologue, and I don't think none of the things there were discarded - in fact, judging by the element of the traveler (Pyro) in this scene, I and some people speculated for a while that we would return to Mondstadt after Natlan.

» About music - I have a whole post on the importance of music for Teyvat incoming:

He claims to know all songs of the past, present and future, which even denotes knowledge that transcends time, fitting for the son of Istaroth, the Thousand Winds of Time - and also for a Seelie/Angel, which we know he is given his Archon form, who were always prophets.

Istaroth is heavily connected to the moons, who controlled the Fates - past, present, and future - and who were named after song and poetry: Aria, Sonnet, and Canon. The loading screen song, that is the theme of Genshin, is even called Dream Aria. Dream Aria might very well be the Sourcesong that I’m going to elaborate on soon.

Seelies/angels are in turn connected to the moons, and they are at least from the period of the Unified Civilization. They, just like possibly the dragons who originally inhabited Teyvat, know well the value of song. That once again matches with Venti, in part because of his angel archon form, and in part because of how he values song as a way to preserve the truth.

People theorize that Venti is trying to find the Sourcesong, or even knows it already, thus why he knows songs from past, present, and future. According to the Aranara, all songs in the world derive from the Sourcesong, that can diverge into different memories, just like a river diverges into creeks, yet just like creeks eventually flow into the sea, the songs converse.

In other words, that definition might hint at the creation of a hivemind and fusing the souls of the people into a collective conscience, similar to what some God-Kings ended up doing in their attempts at saving humanity and controlling Fate, with Remus being the most relevant since he used the Symphony of Fate to weave the threads, and fates, as if they were strings of an intrument. They only attempted those feats after meeting with Seelies. [Check my future post about Chemical Marriage to see an exhaustive list of all cases of that in genshin]

Venti also canonically states he can read the the rhythmic flow of energy dispersed by the Abyss Order and copy its magic with his lyre - that was how he took down the barriers during the Archon Quest.

His constellation is called Carmen Day, "God of Songs", although in practice that's the title he is less refered as. As 4clover31 on tumblr added: "Carmen also means God's Vineyard, plus, the term Carme or Carmen was used by Romans to reference a poem with a ritual and propitiatory tone."

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Venti’s strength

Funnily enough, I don’t find this point relevant for my theory, because even if he turns out to be the weakest Archon currently, there can be many explanations for that, and that is not indicative of his original strength. So it’s possible that he was extremelly powerful and still the soul/son of the PO, while being weak now.

But here is a list of what the fandom usually points out, and the different sides of the argument:

Venti is currently weak:

That’s what he claims, justifying it by saying that the strength of an Archon depends on how much faith the people of the Nation have in their Archon. Since he doesn’t actively rule Mondstadt, and people are free from his influence, he sort of implies that they don’t believe in his enough and that he his willing to let his powers pay the price for his ideals

He hasn’t showcased particularly strong powers even when Mondstadt was in crisis, or when trying to stop Signora from taking away the Gnosis.

We also know he has been gone for a long time, returning to Mondstadt during the Stormterror crisis, so it’s possible that he hasn’t regained his powers.

Maybe he was strong when returning to Mondstadt at present, but he delivered the Anemo Authority to Dvalin by the end of the Archon quest, so even if he lied initially, he is actually weaker now.

Venti is currently strong:

People who defend this argue by using Venti’s own definition of what grants power to an Archon, basically by pointing out how, in some ways, he is more worshipped than many other Archons, even if he doesn’t use that to rule the people. He has a Church, people in Mondstadt clearly pray to Barbatos and mention him often, and they completely adhere and live according to his ideals

As such, there is no reason for him to have lost the powers he once presented, like when he terraformed the land of Mondstadt and also completely changed its weather (after Old Mondstadt got rid of Decarabian, since at the time Mondatadt was covered in snow)

Consequently, Venti simply pretended to be weak out of respect for the autonomy and independence of the humans

Some people who believe this think he was just pretending until the Gnosis was taken, while others think he handed out a fake Gnosis and didn’t even try to resist Signora, and there is even people who think he lost the Gnosis but that hasn’t affected his powers

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Cecilias

The only characters in the game connected with Cecilias are: Venti, Istaroth (we see that in Ei’s second story quest), and Albedo (a prototype primordial human, who uses Cecilias as his Ascencion material too)

Cecilias were confirmed in an event, and then at the start of Natlan, to represent “the true feelings of the prodigal son”. But that information actually is as old as his announcement, way back in 2019.

An inactive user in this post found that the name Cecilia possibly came from a Latin word meaning "blind", and according to this source, “Cecilia is as much to say as the lily of heaven, or a way to blind men.” SexyPoro also commented that it’s a variant of the word caecus, that can mean other variations of blind, such as Devoid of light, Vague, Aimless, Invisible, Hidden, Secret, Obscure

Fun fact, Caerus, that sounds a lot like caecus, is an alternatively spelling of Kairos, another of Istaroth’s names. Kairos is a Greek god that resembles Hermes, and who needs wind to fly. Guess that might explain why she ruled Mondstadt alongside Venti for a while, like the Mondstadt saying goes, seeds of stories need to be brought by the wind before they can be cultivated by time.

The Saint Cecilia is a virgin martyr in christianity, and the patron of musicians, composers and poets.

Cecilias are also an important symbol in HI3. They are the symbol of the House Schariac, known for Divine Maidens, warriors who have a chance of taking in the Holy Blood. The Abyss Flower in that game, a ‘Divine Key’ and weapon from the civilization’s Previous Era made specifically to kill herrschers, is also a Cecilia. It’s very possible that Istaroth/Kairos turns out to be an expy of HI3’s Cecilia. She’s known for wielding the Abyss Flower.

The closest real life inspiration would be the flower trillium, which represent the Holy Trinity in Christianity, in turn correlated with the chemical marriage (remember when I mentioned the addition of the dove so that the number 3 represented body, soul and spirit? And how those 3 parts are important for parallels between Cocouik and Ochkan?)

Cecilias look a lot like triquetras, once again connected with the Holy Trinity in Christianism, while in Celtic culture it represents the triple goddesses (3 goddesses that function as a whole, like the Moirai or Norse Norns, who in turn are a bit like the Tribbies of HSR and the 3 moons/fates of genshin). Triquetras are a recurring symbol in Genshin.

Everything here hints at the importance of Venti’s birth and lineage. And while he might just be connected to Istaroth and things stop there, and it would be enough to justify that importance, it’s still possible that it means a little more.

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Venti and apples, the fruit of Fate

Here is a list of every connection between Venti and apples that I could find:

In his wisp form, the top of his head is shaped like an apple, including stem and leaf.

He is always asking for apples, even as payment. He also offers them sometimes. He also really enjoys apple cider.

While terraforming Mondstadt, he created the Golden Apple Archipelago

Speaking of golden apples, he literally offers one in one of his birthday arts, and the text that accompanies it is one of the most suspicious things ever: “It is written that there is a whole tiny world hidden inside an apple core. Here, this half is for you. Let's take a stroll in the tiny little world. But remember to keep it a secret because... you're the only one I want to bring there.” Please keep this in mind.

Mondstadt is a land full of apples. There are a few apple trees in Liyue too, and ofc thishas to do with the inspirations behind Mondstadt, so it’s a tenue connection, but still fitting.

Especially in anime, Apples are often depicted as the fruit of Fate (look no further than Mawaru Penguindrum), and in Inazuma, the girl giving Fortune Slips is called Gendou Ringo, with Ringo meaning ‘apple’ in Japanese.

In Sethian Gnosticism, in the Biblical story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, they succumb to the serpent’s temptation and eat the forbidden fruit (often imagined as an apple) from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. That is depicted as a good thing, and as the first step towards freedom from Yaldabaoth (a demiurge, chaos entity and false god, who keeps the souls of people trapped in physical bodies).

I can’t help but wonder if the connection with apples means that he has secret knowledge and awareness of fates and the future, and is waiting for someone else to learn it too, to assume control of Fate or to break free.

If he derived from the PO, that would also made him sort of serpent/dragon-like, or at least part dragon part seelie/angel. He is probably holding fate in his hands - and if an apple contains a tiny world, according to what he said, holding it is not too different from holding the Genesis Pearl - once again tying him with the Gnostic Chorus.

The fact that Venti has only offered one half of the apple in his birthday art may connect with the fact that Phanes only rules half of the world, while the other half, potentially the Abyss, belongs to Nix, the Night Mother. It may alternatively connect to the idea of Chemical Marriage and union of opposites, since that seems to be a fundamental pattern in Teyvat, as I already mentioned.

(Thank you to u/HashtagLowElo on reddit for reminding me of this) In Lyney's teaser, when Lyney is sitting at the bard with the drunkard, Lyney took his drink and transformed it into an apple scented wine. As the man closed his eyes to drink it, Lyney transformed it into an apple before talking about the connection between miracles and magic tricks while also going on to hold the moon. So, the apple was somewhat compared to the moon.

The Golden Apple is specifically relevant in mythology. For example, in Greek Mythology, the Golden Apple of Discord was thrown by Eris at the wedding of Peleus and Thetis, leading to the Judgement of Paris and the Trojan War. In the Garden of the Hesperides, golden apples were guarded by a dragon and were part of Hercules' labors. In Irish Mythology, golden apples are depicted on the Silver Branch of the Otherworld.

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Sacramental Wine, Dionysus and Phanes

Some myths say that Phanes was Dionysus (god of wine… amongst other things), or Eros (god of love, yes I’m simplifying), and oh boy isn’t Venti the god of all of that too? Although this is complicated since it has to do with gods being iterations of past gods and such.

Okay, this gets less obvious now. Phanes is a first-born deity who emerged from the abyss and gave birth to the universe, and is a god of creation, light and goodness. The Abyss part is extra intriguing because the world has an abyss half, and some in-game books even compare wine with the Abyss, and also with the idea that drinking the abyss/wine is a way to acquire Forbidden Knowledge.

Let’s keep talking about wine. I have to start by recommending this video by Ashikai that I used for a lot of the info that follows.

Sacramental Wine is consumed after sacramental bread, in celebration of the Eucharist. The Catholic Church maintains that by the consecration, the substances of the bread and wine actually become the substances of the body and blood of Christ, and in genshin, a similar process happens when a being consumes the body/blood of gods - sometimes even inheriting powers and an extended lifespan, although corruption as well.

The different types of liquids/elixirs in genshin can even be compared to real life ones: leyline liquid is nectar, primordial seawater is absinthe, and forbidden knowledge is wine. Refer to Ashikai’s video for explanations on the first two, but regarding wine, in the book A Drunkard’s Tale, a character says: “What you humans call wine, we wolves call the abyss”. I already shared how many things connected to Venti relate to the Abyss, from Cecilias to the origins of Phanes.

Fungi (more specifically, yeast) are required to make wine, for the processes of fermentation, and you can see in the list of game examples below how much fungi are relevant in the process of eucharistic rites and how often they are sacramental, as a way to grant powers or memories. Mushrooms in a circle also form the so-called fairy-rings, and besides the importance of rings in the context of genshin as objects that confer power to god-kings, they are also considered a portal. They are also called witch’s rings.

» Mondstadt and wine

Mondstadt is heavily known for its wines, and not just for the production of it. During the distiling process, the portion of alcohol that evaporates is even callled Angel’s Share, the name of Diluc’s tavern. Angels, or seelies, in turn tend to have alcoholic beverages associated with them (really, watch Ashikai’s video for more evidence).

Wine breewing is also heavily connected to witches, who have strong connections with Mondstadt. The witches are also connected to Venti, as revealed in the second Windblume Festival.

Speaking of witches, I already mentioned how witches’ rings or fairy rings are made of mushrooms and considered portals.

Albedo is a famous alchemist created by the witch Rhinedottir. Alcohol is one of the possible solvents used in alchemy, known as alkahest. In Lulian alchemy, quintessence is a solvent distilled from wine, sometimes called aether. Alkahest is the ascension material used for the sword Cinnabar Spindle, and cinnabar in turn refers to the Rubedo stage of the Magnum Opus. That’s typically the final stage, although genshin swaps it, with citrinitas/gold, but usually the Magnum Opus ties with the Chemical Marriage - you know, the thing I said that created Phanes.

Oceanids are often associated with turning water into Wine. The weapon Dialogues of the Desert Sages supports that idea. The oceanid of Springvale, also sometimes called a fairy, blessed/cursed Diona to always make great alcoholic beverages. Oceanids also strongly resemble Hydro Idolons, and Idolons are the kind of ghost most associated with Istaroth, even being one of the names for the Sin Shades from Enkanomiya.

In the Alchemy Ascension event, conveniently said by Venti while standing with Diona, he says “If alchemy has the power to transform matter… I wonder if it could also be used to turn water into wine?”

Kaeya’s Skewers are soaked in Death after Noon, Kaeya’s favorite drink, and if you check the list of examples, you can see that the medicine for Caribert required drawing water in the early AfterNoon, and it was used to water the mushrooms growing on the body of Caribert’s dead mom. The drink is also made with absinthe. The drink, or Kaeya’s skewers, are also mentioned in many sus quests, like Canotila quest about dissolving people and their memories, and in a dialogue with Xamaran.

» Examples of sacramental food/wine in genshin

The desert is full of such examples, from Apep who got to eat King Deshret after his death to gain his knowledge, to the Consecrated Beasts (”consecreated” even means “blessed”.

Jacob in Fontaine also turned into a Iniquitous Baptist abyssal creature after consuming the flesh of a dragon, and it’s possible that other abyss creatures - not hillichurls - went through a similar process, especially considering how all of them have a type named after religious positions (even mages, since the word comes from “Magi” who was a Zoroastrian priest).

Rukkhashava mushrooms, in CN, are called Rukkhadevata Sacramental Mushrooms. Before the description change, it said that the Akademia Sages consumed them to honor the sacrifice of the goddess, and remember her wisdom, like in a Eucharistic ritual. This mushroom is based on the Reishi mushroom (believed to give immortality in Taoism). Wanderer, who tried to ascend to godhood, and Collei who contains remnants of a snake god, need this as an ascension material.

In the first Caribert quest, we see a red/cinnabar version of these mushrooms. They grew in the body of Clothar’s dead wife, and while mushrooms grow on wood, Norse mythology believes that humans were carved from trees. He also had to draw water in the early afternoon (Death After Noon is the name of Kaeya’s favorite drink) to tend to them, and for the medicine. The medicine for Caribert created from those mushrooms had to be blessed by a god, and it followed a similar recipe to the Memory Recipe taught by the Aranara: a Rukkhashava mushroom variation, a lotus (Kalpalata/Barsam), and a purple flower (Sumeru rose/Yajna grass). It’s a sacramental beverage.

Fun fact, the taxonomic name for the Reishi mushroom is ganoderma, and there are mushroom-like aquatic ascension materials called Sea Ganoderma in genshin. Their description says “In the folktales told in a certain land, these mouthless, noseless creatures are the transformed souls of children who died young.” They are used by Yae Miko (guards a Irminsul tree) and Kazuha (ganoderma really like mapple trees)

Xamaran, the giant mushroom in the Chasm, is often taken as the irminsul tree of the area (it even looks like a dragon tree), or instead as a mushroom growing in the body of the main Irminsul (like how mushrooms grow on trees). The name sounds like Shahmaran, a mythological being from Persian mythology who was half human half snake, and the name can be broken into "queen/king of serpents" - and serpents in genshin are somewhat interchangeable with dragons. There are tales both about the queen and the king. What matters is that in the Queen's tale, her flesh leads to recovery, her broth leads to knowledge, and her extract leads to death.

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Confused timelines and slumbers

I don’t think there are many instances of this, but there are a few examples that fans point of Venti possibly confusing timelines - either because the wind is free from the confines of time, or because of Venti’s connections with Istaroth and even poential prophetic abilities.

One is during Mondstadt’s AQ, when he tells the Traveler to meet at the “usual place” when we have never met him there before.

Another is a voiceover hidden in a menu, where he greets the Traveler with “Ah, Traveler, we meet again! What? You don't remember me? Ahaha, well, allow me to join you on your quest once again.”

He had to dissapear and go into slumber multiple times, usually after seemingly using a lot of his power: some time after establishing new Mondstadt and making sure that the humans got it (we see him waking up in the manga and realizing how corrupt the aristocracy had become), some time after helping Vennessa win and form the Knights and still taking some time to raise Dvalin, and after the fight against Durin. People theorize it’s only after moments where he spends lots of power, but since we don’t know the exact circunstances that made him go to slumber for the first 2 examples, it’s hard to say.

There was an old reddit post by u/ahellbornlady (thank you to Jolita_Bonita on ao3 for finding it for me) that even theorized that Venti met the Traveler not in some kind of past life/time that was reset - I have seen people theorize that too but it's not really what I believe - but rather in dreams, since they were both in slumber after the Cataclysm. It's even possible that the poem that Venti shares during the first Windblume event - that changes in CN depending on the gender of the Traveler, proving it's about them - was about how they met. It has some interesting verses like "Who was it that stroked your bloodied, determined visage. By stream flowing small, by boulder standing large." and "Who was it that embraced your weary yet noble soul, in dreams deep, in skies soaring." I have an upcoming post about dreams too.

He also wakes up in this location in the manga, that strongly resembles a location shown in the trailer of the anime, so people guess it will be important. The location even shares one of the symbols of Venti and Istaroth (edited pics from https://x.com/Yivvee/status/1899111907627516062/photo/2).

This also looks a lot like a portal, which is interesting considering that the base of his big statue has inscribed at the base "Gateway to Celestia" (thak you to 4clover31 on tumblr for the reminder)

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Illusions, fake identities and lots of pretending

Voicelines from Archons say “About Venti” instead of “About Barbatos”, although all other gods are refered to with their god name. There are exceptions in the patterns of speaking about the topic from the archons, for example Furina is an obvious exception, Nahida never met the other archons, etc... Still, when mentioned, he is never called Barbatos. Even Neuvilette calls him Anemo Archon.

Even in the Archon quest, in the same conversation where he tells us about allogenes and Gnosis after the confrontation with Signora, Paimon says that the “Tone-Deaf Bard is just one of the many Barbatos incarnations” - I wonder if the CN text says this as well...

He doesn't currently use Barbatos' Lyre. Now, that might just be because he is pretending to not be Barbatos, and consequently he couldn't just demand it from the church, as we have seen to an extent in the Prologue. But there might be more to it, since he could have just opted to take that lyre with him or hid it somewhere else before going into slumber, instead of delivering it to the church. So what if that is not his lyre (it could be from the Nameless Bard, or from Istaroth), or what if it is the Lyre of Barbatos but he is just a fragment of Barbatos?

Celestia also doesn't seem to like him (Voiceline Mora about Venti - IV). Could it be because he refuses to take the throne? Because it just doesn't approve of his behavior and attitude? Or maybe because he isn't fully Barbatos? And yet, his bigger statue in Mondstadt has incribed at the base "Gateway to Celestia"...

He has shown his illusion abilities by faking the repair of the Lyre right before Signora showed up to steal his Gnosis, which makes some people believe that the Gnosis he gave away was fake.

Winking. He is always winking. In most official arts, and very often in-game too. Why would that be relevant? Because eyes, especially having eyes covered/closed, are very significant in genshin and hint at the ability to perceive the truth instead of the illusion/dream created by the Irminsul. Check my future post about patterns in the Hoyoverse for more info - I will try to list every example there, from Kaeya’s legacy, to fictional Fischl, God-Kings and their artifact sets, and ofc Irmin. He might not be immune to the Irminsul changes, but he certainly tries to combat that with stories.

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Queen Gnosis

Arguably the most important piece in chess, not counting the King and its limitations, and it’s also the piece that Venti had (maybe still has, depending if the theory that he gave away a false Gnosis to Signora is correct or not)

Funnily enough, some connect the chess queen's fluid movement to the moon’s shifting cycles, and queens were often linked to fertility and cosmic balance, just like moons were.

It might also be a hint to him currently representing Istaroth’s role in her absence.

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Dissapearances for long periods, Death and Leylines

In the Orphic tradition, Phanes is said to be a dying and resurrecting god, killed by the Titans who devoured his flesh but rescued by Athena and resurrected by Zheus. Maybe, to which extent, we could correlate the Titans (Athena and Zeus) to the dragons, Istaroth and the Primordial One.

Venti dissapears for long periods of time, and dying and resurrecting could be a way to explain that.

Dionysus, the god of wine - who, like I mentioned before, is often equated with Phanes - dies at the hands of the Titans, and that has been considered the central myth of Orphism. I elaborate more about Orphism, and specifically Orpheus, in a following section.

Dionysus was the patron god of the Orphics, who they connected to death and immortality, and he symbolized the one who guides the process of reincarnation. That strongly resembles Venti’s ability to help souls pass… to wtv is the place of the souls, Irminsul or something, like he did in his story quest, and that is likely what allows souls to reincarnate in Teyvat as well.

Unsure how that works exactly, but Istaroth and Venti definitely have some strange connections with death and leylines. And since this post is about Venti and not his mom, let’s also not forget that he shines in the leyline color multiple times too. In fact, his Archon outfit has more blue than exactly green, and same for his wisp form, although that might be an extension of angels being seelies.

It’s fairly known that the artifact categories correspond to the Primordial One and the 4 Shades, and one of them is the Plume of Death. It’s usually associated with Ronova, the Shade of Death, but even so Venti is heavily associated with feathers. Even in Natlan, those who carry an ancient name have it engraved in a feather-shaped obsidian toten, in turn having connections to the Night Kingdom.

Venti and Istaroth are mostly associated with Cecilias, but they also have some light connections with dandelions - more specifically, Venti is the only anemo character that dandelions are drawn towards after being blown, and the parts that fly are basically seeds of dead flowers. That ties in well with their quote about “seeds of stories” (in other words, the memories of people), and their connections with leylines and souls of people who passed on. In Teyvat, souls are often refered to as flowers in metaphors (I will expand on that in a future post about symbols in the game).

Venti also has a few connections with Windwheel Asters, basically stars (and Aster is also the beginning of Astaroth, one of the inspirations behind Istaroth). And stars and constellations are in turn heavily connected to the fates of people in Teyvat.

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Similarities to Orpheus the Bard

For the Greeks, Orpheus was a legendary bard, and the founder and prophet of the so-called "Orphic" mysteries.

He perfected the lyre invented by Hermes. Venti also probably perfected the lyre of the bard, and (noticed by 4clover31 on tumblr) in the Chasm there is a letter that mentions his lyre: "Not if my destructive self were made to be the lyre of Barbatos".

The suffering and death of the god Dionysus at the hands of the Titans has been considered the central myth of Orphism - and I already mentioned before how Dionysus and wine and all of that have their own connections to Venti. There is also the fact that Phanes belongs to the Orphic myth as well, although as a different entity: Dionysus at most, but not Orpheus.

Besides the bard and lyre aspects that clearly match Venti, the fact that Orpheus was a prophet is also very fitting since, as I mentioned before, Venti knows the songs of the past/present/future, and is probably a prophet given how Seelies/Angels always are.

So I propose that Orpheus corresponds to Venti’s bard identity, that he takes to avoid assuming the role of an Archon, while Dionysus/Phanes correspond to his Barbatos aspect.

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Compiling Abyss Connections

Look, most of this section are things mentioned in others, I just wanted to point out that there is a not insignificant number of connections between Venti and the Abyss... And I also didn't know where else to include the Inverted Statue.

The Abyss Order uses an inverted Venti Statue, for their ritual in one of the Archon Quests. Could just be coincidence, but with the ritual in Liyue, it would make more sense to use a statue of Morax

One of the potential origins of mythology Phanes says he emerged from the Abyss

Venti gives us one half of the apple in that birthday art I mentioned - the other half possibly represents the Abyss

He is always drinking wine, and wine is called Abyss by the wolves

He can understand the music of Abyss creatures, even using it to dispel barriers in the prologue

The Abyss Flower and Divine Key in Honkai 3rd is a Cecilia

It's possible that he hasn't even been to Celestia, or at least seems to indicate he isn't wanted there, although that voiceline can be interpreted in many ways

I will just mention how in the recent 5.6 stream art he is mostly in the shadow - tenue connection, but still

You know the "purifying abilities" of the Traveler, that have the great side effects of healing the beings they target, that are now understood as the Traveler just absorbing the abyss taint for themselves? Venti has multiple times displayed similar purifying abilities, like when lending powers to the Traveler to fight Dvalin (again, like Cocouik), healing Xiao with his music, and maybe more that I forgot.

Check the proof/pictures for these things in sections above

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Mondstadt

Mondstadt, the fairytale land with connections to every part of Teyvat (the Prologue was literally used to introduce everything, and every character there is representative of future content). I couldn’t leave out the Nation that Venti is an Archon of.

First, let’s talk about the period before Venti’s Archonhood, while he was just a wisp caught up in Old Mondstadt:

Decarabian was a participant of the Archon War - but what exactly motivated him?

The Archon War: It took place right after the fall of the Unified Civilization when Archons were the solution necessary to help stabilize Teyvat after the disasters brought by the War of Vengeance. Decarabian’s opponent was Andrius/Boreas, who likely came from Snezhnaya, and brought snow and blizzards to all of Teyvat. Mondstadt was completely covered in snow.

The safety of humans: To keep the humans in Mondstadt safe, especially from the cold, Decarabian enclosed them in a wind barrier (some, like the Lawrence Clan and possibly the Gunnhildr Clan not yet named that at the time, managed to leave the city). He micromanaged the city, forbid rebellious songs (although the CN version of Venti’s retelling implies that he only accepted hymns), and his winds were so strong that they forced people to bend their backs. He mistook that as respect, unaware that the humans resented him, which later led to their revolution to take down their god.

All for a Dream: Becoming a Tyrant in an attempt to protect humanity is not the only similarity he shares with other God-Kings. He was trying to attain a Dream, possibly another hivemind project - according to Fragment of Decarabian’s Epic, "If it were not for the song of freedom that shattered the city in an instant, Decarabian's dream would have gone on forever.” He might even have something akin to Deshret’s mausuleum or projects from other god-kings under his tower, the only location in the whole game that, if we try to access it, makes Paimon say something different than the usual: “Watch out! Don't go near there!”. In the cutscene of his death, he looks like a Sun when exploding, further connecting him to sun-kings or red-kings. Something something eternal dream and hiveminds.

Besides his goals, his appearance might also connect him to God-Kings.

We never see his appearance - possibly because Hoyo intends to show he was a dragon or had draconic features, which would make sense given that his tower has arches big enough for a dragon, a floating platform above, and was chosen by Dvalin as a nest. More likely than not, he even had the Authority of Anemo and was a Dragon Sovereign - not just because he was the God of Storms, but because he was associated with a divine throne that was destroyed during the rebellion. That has been officially confirmed now in this post (check pics below), but that was actually never hidden. The og ENG translations were simply bad, and replaced throne with crown for the purpose of rhyming, but you can see that this fan translation by dkniade pointed that it said throne in CN, along with mentions to a god’s seat.

ENG translations also still call Decarabian of Anemo Archon, which is simply incorrect because the Archon War wasn’t over yet, but maybe that was because they mistook it as Anemo Sovereign?

Amos was also far more important han people realize:

It’s unclear how Decarabian met Amos - maybe under his tower, closer to Leyline stuff? - but she was almost certainly a Seelie.

Amos became Decarabian’s lover who later joined the rebellion against him.

Her appearance, white white hair and blue clothes, already gives some slight seelie and moon themes.

She was the only member of the rebellion with a name (Either because the name of other members was forgotten to history, or maybe something more significant, like them rejecting their names and the roles they represented, or maybe names in Old Mondstadt were just the things people did, like being a Bard. I’m not counting last names, since we have those).

She had prophetic dreams, as you can see in her quotes in Amos’ Bow, and the biblical figure of Amos was a prophet - and Seelies were prophets too.

Seelies also often sided and protected humanity, which is what she did by joining the rebellion. Players often assume that she was human because of the dreams she had for humanity, but nothing actually states that.

Last but not least, she might have been the one who killed Decarabian (again implied in her bow), and it probably takes a non-human powerful being to do so.

What about the other characters involved?

Like I said before, the others had no names, only last names at most. Possible exlanations: 1) the name of other members was forgotten to history 2) they rejected their names and the roles they represented (since we know how names are tied to a person's fate in Teyvat) 3) maybe names in Old Mondstadt were just the things people did, like being a Bard 4) names were possibly hidden to hide their identities from the Irminsul

The rebels came up with the Windblume tradition, although it had a different meaning back then

Nameless Bard: We don’t know much about the Nameless Bard… but he was the rebel who led the rebellion, and whose form Venti took after once he died, due to being a dear friend of Venti. He had a Cecilia pinned to his chest, which is relevant. His lyre was different from the typically large lyres of the time, as mentioned in the description of the teapot lyre. I can’t help but wonder if he is a reincarnation of other rebels from history: The young man (probably an Alberich, but that’s another theory) from the period of the Unified Civilization, that was possessed by the Traveler From Afar and went to the Ancient Seelie to free her. It’s possible that he later reincarnated into story Ajax (the one who ended in Hyperborea) drawn by vague memories of the seelie he once loved. My other guesses, besides the Nameless Bard, are the Crimson-Eyed Youth who rebelled against Och-kan. I am undecided if currently he is represented by Alice or Childe, to be honest - in part because Idk to which extenct we should separate the identities of the female Traveler from Afar and the male figures she possesses.

Red-haired warrior: He was a traveler who wasn't from Mondstadt (no idea how he managed to enter), and he was with the bard when he died in the cutscene. He is potentially an antecedent of the Ragnvindr family, but it's not certain, since he left Mondstadt after the death of his friend.

Gunnhildr: The Gunnhildr clan wasn't called that at the time - it changed name in her honor after she was a hero in the rebellion. But before all of that, she and her clan managed to leave the city and, when suffering in the cold outside, she prayed, somehow manifesting or attracting Venti. It's unclear when did she return to the city or how, but we see her in the final battle in the TCG card.

There are mentions of figures from other clans that were involved, like Lawrence members and the Imulaukr Clan.

Andrius: After Decarabian was taken down, Andrius realized he wasn’t fit to rule humans and became a ghost, the rebellion leader was dead, so was Amos, and the red-haired warrior felt hurt and left. So the Archon position went to Venti, who took the form of his friend and terraformed Mondstadt, but didn’t take the Divine Throne. That might be the actual reason why he is the “weakest of the archons” if that really is true. He also tried to not exert authority over humans.

Official translation vs Literal fan translation vs Recent official post

Alright, and what about present Mondstadt?

Aristocracy period: Venti ruled Mondstadt alongside Istaroth for a while, with the Temple of the Thousand Winds dedicated to the worship of both. It’s unclear when Istaroth was forgotten by time, and why Venti had to get into slumber, but he was gone for a long period and, when he woke up, the Aristocracy of Mondstadt (especially the Lawrence Clan) had become arrogant, betrayed its principles, and abused their power to crush the freedom of people. The temple was converted into a fighting Arena, much was destroyed (including the original library), and Natlan’s refuggees (Vennessa’s tribe) was turned into slaves and gladiators. Venti helped fix that and, after realizing that full freedom could backfire, established the Knights of Favonius and the Four Winds, with Venessa as part of both groups.

Dvalin: It is unclear when exactly Dvalin and Barbatos met, but the poet in Breeze Amidst the Forest (implied to be Venti himself) says it occurred in "ancient times, when the gods walked among us in their prime." This puts their meeting somewhere between Barbatos' ascension 2600 years ago, and his departure from Mondstadt between 2000 and 1000 years ago. Venti helped people realize that the dragon didn’t pose any danger, and raised Dvalin, teaching him to speak the human tongue. It’s very possible that Dvalin is a reincarnated Anemo Dragon Sovereign, and that Venti entrusted the Anemo Authority to him. 500 ago, during the cataclysm, Venti and Dvalin fought against Durin’s attack, Venti had to go into slumber and Dvalin got poisoned. Mondstadt’s Prologue was all about about helping save Dvalin from Abyssal corruption and show to the people of the present that he is still a good dragon.

Mondstadt and witches: The witches deserve their own post, but it’s really interesting how they have such strong ties to Mondstadt, with two witches even taking residence there temporarily (Rhinedottir somewhat, and Alice). The second Windblume Event took us to the floating island where the witches used to reunite over tea, and for the first time told us about the members of the Hezenxirkel. It also told us of how they at some point challenged the Anemo Archon, for unknown reasons, but he befriended them instead. Interesting detail: In the cutscene about the witches, there is a moment that display’s Istaroth’s star, the same that is the symbol of Khaenri’ah - I have a post about Istaroth and that symbol almost ready too, so I won’t elaborate here, so points for another connection between witches-khaenri’ah-istaroth-venti. The Imaginarium Theater, a domain from the witches outside of space and time, also has a portal in Mondstadt. Oh, and the summer events are always connected to Mondstadt AND the witches.

Mondstadt and Wine: I already have a whole section about that, but it’s definitely no coincidence. It connects to witches, it connects to the Abyss, it connects to seelies (Angel’s Share), it connects to so many things… please go read my section if you haven’t.

Abyss: The portal is located in Musk Reef - one of the areas terraformed by Venti after he ascended, that was previously he tip of the tallest snowy mountain, known as Pilos Peak. Currently, the island looks suspiciously like multiple moons overlapping (that symbol that everyone went crazy over after the recent web event, despite being present in the game for a while). Its structure is divided into the "Abyss Corridor," which connects worlds (Teyvat was disconnected from other worlds, or at least that’s what the Legend of the Shattered Halberd book implies), and the "Abyssal Moon Spire," which leads to the unknown (possibly the same spire created by the Seelie Ancestor). In each level, we collect stars.

Flowers: Some of the flowers prominent or exclusive to Mondstadt have very interesting meanings. I already went over Cecilias, so go read that section because it’s huge; Dandelions represent wishes that are carried over to the Anemo Archon when blown, but their seeds can also represent the souls and stories of people, which in a way is almost intercheangeable given how the wishing screen kinda grants us the souls of campanions; Windwheel Asters represent stars, also very relevant for Genshin given the constellation system; Lampgrass only glow at night, so they are part of the series of flowers that change with the moon; Roses don’t seemingly exist in Mondstadt, yet two characters (Lisa and Noelle, and Rosaria has thorns in her attacks) wear them, and associated with secrets in Monds (see Noelle Hangout), and are in the cover of a big chunk of fairytales.

Gateway to Celestia (thanks to 4clover31 on tumblr for the reminder): The base of Venti's massive statue in Mondstadt has inscribed at the base "Gateway to Celestia" - people have translated and figured that out from the very beginning of the game.

Eyes of Storm, Istaroth and the Nameless Island: Idk where I'm going with this but it's interesting how, although Eyes of Storm are primarily featured in Mondstadt, the Statue of the Omnipresent God in Inazuma that many people theorize to be a depiction of Istaroth has a necklace shaped like an Eye of Storm. See this image edited by CatWithBlueHat. The quests where we first learned about Istaroth/The Thousand Winds of Time also included Eyes of Storm. (thank you to 4clover31 on tumblr for reminding me of this)

The important citizens of Mondstadt: There’s just so many that I have to break this in parts, but I really don’t like it when people dismiss Mondstadt, because everything there was a well-done setup to future content:

Kaeya is one of the few Khaenri’ah survivors, and from the Alberich dynasty no less, who not only took control of Khaenri’ah after King Irmin felt “indisposed”, but also was important far before that, being possibly one of the oldest lineages of Khaenri’ah;

Diluc is strongly connected with the Fatui, that he opposes, and with a secret organization that is probably the Hexenzirkel, judging by the cups in his mansion, Angel’s share and several other hints;

Jean is a descendant of Old Mondstadt, more specifically, of the original Gunnhildr who through her wishes attracted wisp Venti, and she is alsoboth the Dandelion Knight and the Lionfang Knight;

Rosaria has lived with bandits since childhood, was found by Varka and put in the church, and she isn’t a very faithful nun. More importantly, some people suspect she is originally from Nod-Krai - she is canonically from a mountain village and the bandit gang has endured freezing cold.

Albedo is an homunculus created by Rhinedottir, a witch, through Khemia, that he also practices, and he is technically Durin’s brother and adopted into Klee’s family;

Klee is Alice’s daughter and might very well become a super strong witch herself, and she also inherited Alice’s book;

Mona is Barbeloth’s apprentice and therefore can read fates, and another powerful witch;

Lisa is another powerful witch who was invited to be part of the Hexenzirkel (she declined), who also knows many truths and secrets;

Eula is a member of the aristocracy who goes against her family, and was taught by Amber’s grandfather;

Amber has a grandfather from Liyue, who dissapeared;

Fischl/Amy cosplays book Princess Fischl, who likely represents Istaroth and is from books written by the suspicious Mr.Nine, the author whose codename is A., so probably by Alice;

Razor has ties to Sumeru family, and his story introduced us to Boreas/Andrius;

Bennet was likely found in the Mare Jivari, a destroyed region in Natlan where wind doesn’t blow, and his bad luck is probably an extension of the curse that people from Natlan had before the Archon Quest, that prevented them from leaving the region because of Leyline issues;

Diona was one of the first characters we saw that displayed atavism (regressive animal traits), along with her whole family, and she also introduced us to the concept of fairy oceanids, and their connections with wine.

Sucrose is another character with atavism, likely a fox, and foxes are important on their own even with fairytale connections like the tale of the dandelion sea. She is another alchemist.

Noelle is very unsuspicious, but it’s interesting that she wears roses, and the fact that those flowers mean secrets in Mondstadt was even highlighted in her Hangout quest;

Mika and Barbara don’t seem to have anything weird going on.

Varka is out in an expedition with most of the Knights of Mondstadt, and will definitely be an important character too;

Dahlia is another upcoming character who will likely be important, given his leaked appearance with horns and unconventional traits for a deacon.

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That's it. My goal was to write the most extensive and in-dept post about Venti possible - you guys tell me if I succeeded and if this makes sense xD

I think I did, because reddit told me this

[lunarriviera]

the agent starling theory of fanworks: a meta

Hi hey hello, I am here to yell at you once more about random nonsense. This time I shall babble about something I came up with in my first year of extremely online fandom which has been useful to me as I think on these things. Perhaps it will be amusing/useful to you as well. Here we go: the Agent Starling Theory of Fanworks.

To begin with, let's consider a particularly egregious example: She Who Shall Not Be Named. You know, that super obnoxious person who (allegedly) came up with Draco Malfoy. Well, good job, Person! Thanks for that, I guess. However. Did Person ever understand Draco Malfoy? Has Person ever known what Draco Malfoys are for? Arguably no. Otherwise they would not have cut the scene where Draco throws his wand to Harry. Otherwise we might have seen, I don’t know, say, Draco dancing with Hermione at the Yule Ball, for instance. Otherwise Draco might have, at some point, even if just for a single shot, been shown as something besides a bully and sniveling coward and daddy's boy who would sell his own mother for a chocolate humbug. Of course, Draco was all of those things; but that is not all he was. (And Tom Felton did try. Lord knows he tried.)

The point here is not, how do you feel about Draco Malfoy, or even She Who Must Not Be Named. The point is, how do I know with such certainty that she got Draco so very wrong? Easy: because there are approximately eleventy gabillion fanworks addressing this failure.

Enter, then, Clarice Starling. The version important to our fannish situation is from Jonathan Demme’s Silence of the Lambs (1991), in which Starling is played by a luminous young Jodie Foster. Starling is still a Quantico trainee, not even an FBI agent yet, but for reasons known only to her boss Jack Crawford (cough*she's hot*cough) he has decided to involve her in an extremely high-profile case.

In this scene, Starling and an ME need to do an autopsy, but the useless local cops who found the body will not stop hanging uselessly around, talking and drinking coffee and being extremely, as I may have already mentioned, useless. Remember that Starling is still basically a college student, and watch how she handles the situation.

Starling’s speech: Excuse me, gentlemen. You officers and gentlemen, listen here now. There's things we need to do for her. I know that y'all brought her this far and her folks would thank you if they could, for your kindness and your sensitivity. But now please go on now and let us take care of her. Go on now. Thank you.

Part of the whole point of Agent Starling is that she's from a rural working-class southern background, so she knows exactly how to handle these hopeless confused nosy yokels, and shoo them out of the way so the rest of them can get down to work. But in addition to her humble background, and her relative youth and inexperience, she’s also brilliant, and she will in the end be the only law enforcement officer who can crack this case wide open and clear it.

Pretty sure you see exactly where I am going with this. So here we are standing here, the fan creators, and we're basically saying: Thank you. Thank you for bringing the character this far. We appreciate that. But now, you can go. Let us handle it from here. We got this. No, really—we do. Your part is done. You did that. And now this character is safe in our capable hands. Let us take care of them. Y’all go on home, now. Go on.

I’m additionally delighted by the fact that, in the film, they’re about to do a postmortem. Because isn’t that what we need everyone out of the way to do? To anatomize a character; figure out what happened to them, what made them be the way they are, what makes them tick. We have to do a forensic examination and frankly whoever initially had their hands all over this character is not the one for the job. We don’t ask parents to do surgery on their children, and that isn’t even a good analogy (so I will give you a better one).

Because it’s also funny to me when people get mad about their characters being “taken.” I’m sorry, are you new here? Do you understand how art works? Did you actually think it was yours? Because that’s kind of adorable. First of all, there exists a mighty rushing current of culture down into which, if you are very lucky, you get to dip your little bucket. It’s like a torrential stream roaring past at very high speeds, and if you are even luckier, you draw up your bucket and there’s something good in it. Something cold and clear and crystalline and thirst-quenching and life-giving. But it’s not yours. It doesn’t belong to you. You just happened to be the one at that particular moment who was holding the goddamn bucket.

Furthermore, can you imagine the heady joy of having met and introduced to the world a character who is so beloved that other people want to make art about them? Absolutely sick. Literally insane for that. Couldn’t be me. Etc. Show me a person who’s hincty and gripped and neurotic about their character being “taken away from them” and I will show you a person with severe attachment issues. Go write about Gilgamesh or Grendel’s mom or Hikaru Genji or Hamlet, if you’re that worried about “your character” being “taken away from” you. They’re right there for you to use instead.

So! That is the Agent Starling Theory of Fanworks. Now go forth and write eleventy million fanworks about your character. They’re your character, now. You know them better than anyone else alive. And don’t let anyone, not even a copyright holder, ever try to tell you otherwise.

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

@leonardalphachurch ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE (in reference to this post)

Donut thinks his fursona is a red wolf, all handsome charm and roguish double’o’donut vibe but NO he’s a collie to me, specifically a rough/scots collie— he’s pretty he’s fluffy, he does good work but theres nothing behind those eyes affectionately. Also he likes to be told when he’s a good boy DOING A GOOD JOB

Grif… would not make a fursona for himself, but I think Kai makes one for him a-la garfield (fat orange cat) and he appreciates the Iconic humor of it at least and u know what i do think kai is right in the cat aspect but more maine coon less garfield (still fat tho /pos)- the kind of big lazy cat that make you do a double take bc like is that a big house cat or a bobcat, ya know?

Simmons does not Want a Fursona thank you very much he’s not Weird (tm) I'm telling you, he is a chihuahua. Puntsized ball of anxiety that bites and thinks its meaner than he is(but still pretty capable of being a mean little bastard, just,, not as big of one as he thinks)

Sarge Knows his fursona is a bald eagle. Bc its American. Patriotic! Sounds like a red hawk! Even better! He’s a pitbull— big brick of a head, mean reputation, but he’s a protective kind of caring at heart and u know he’s got that Iconic pittie grin

Lopez is hard, honestly, and if you asked him youd either get No Answer, or something thrown at you i think but like his fursona is like transformer mech bullshit that no one ever wants to draw and if you commissioned it you get like 20+ complex design additional charges because the rivets have to be 100% accurate and if they arent he would Know, its not even a fursona really at this point its just a cool mech body he wont ever build bc he doesnt trust anyone else to not fucking break it but emotionally its his fursona - the fursona I assign him is a remote control warthog, bc im sorry dude but i cannot give you a proper fursona to save my life my brain just refuses to do it so, goofy shit it is

SHEILA is, wonderfully, a sea turtle. Specifically i’m partial to a leatherback for her just for the scale factor alone but just the vibe in general of just,, seat turtle fits her idk how to describe it. In character, i do think she would misunderstand the assignment and just be like “oh! Im a Scorpion” bc thats the casual term for the M808B main battle tank in halo

Church(A), like simmons, REFUSES to even Consider it (epsilon considers it a Lot okay, theta’s got some cool design concepts but keep it on the dl bud) but i think he’s gotta be idog from the early 2000s. But like an edgy one the kind that were born of 12 yearolds traced over google images of the normal ones and recolored into Original Characters (i think their shape is based on beagles iirc??? Or labs), but yeah those things. If pressed, epsilon auto answers wolf but in that asshole way that sounds like he’s being a dick about it but no thats his actual answer

Caboose is a great dane. He’s just Great like that!! Yay! Friend shaped, really not used to being uhh mindful of his size and strength but loyal and protective ya know?? He's the only one who i think would correctly clock his own fursona on the first try

Tex would claim something badass like a tiger or something, but she’s like,,, a mockingbird :) i mean it IS the state bird of texas, and well... shes not a mockery of anything but she isnt the og either, ya know

Tucker claims a fox, because he’s sly and bitches Love foxes but to me?? Bluejay. Brightly colored, loud, mean little corvid asshole. Too damn clever for his own good- i would also maybe give him peacock or kingfisher if feeling more like,, flamboyant but he just feels very jay to me. maybe its the corvid bastard thing, or the bluejay in my backyard choosing the tree by my window as prime screaming spot for 6 am yelling for like a month but the vibe is there

Kai has so many furry characters. With the worst application of color theory known to man but somehow it works for her brand??? Sparkle dogs man, the woman is made for making sparkle dogs!! If i assign her cat to match grif, it'd specifically the kind of like bengal, this cat climbs walls kind of cat you know?? Zoomies all day every day! BUt i think more accurately to Kai as a person? Raccoon. Mischief and little grabby bastard hands and she would love it

Washington, if asked would shrug and say probably a cat bc u know, nine lives and all that- no. Im sorry cat wash truthers I respect cat wash, but nah Washington is a dog boy to me im sorry and specifically he’s a little Jack Russell terrier thats fast and vicious but man sometimes u gotta remember he’s like,,, he’s smaller than a cat man you gotta give him some help ya know?? Dont make him do it alone!!!

.......Or a horse i dont know how to elaborate on that one just,,, trust me

Carolina is oblivious to the concept of fursonas almost entirely, but she’s a greyhound and you know im right

Locus is genuinely the hardest one to place and i dont think he’d come up with a fursona for himself, but he gets assigned wolf by Donut i feel it, the whole lone wolf thing he has going and all during his redemption! Which honestly???? Maybe yeah? An argument could be made for another working dog (HELLO German Shepards my god) (context here: i had a german shepard/corgi mix, he was my lil guy, he was too damn smart for his own good and patrolled the back yard fence up until he couldnt keep his hips underneath himself anymore and then! He! kept! trying! So yes that does influence my input on german shepard locus) i just struggle to see locus as a dog???? Dogs are very high energy which -gestures to red team- but locus rarely has that same baseline energy i associate with dogs??? He’s hard to pin down and i’ve yet to manage it but im partial to something arboreal,,, the first thing that comes to mind on that train of thought is a binturong and i lost it imagining that so sure we'll go with that i have a lot of thoughts about locus

Felix wouldve loved the energy of being like the lucky cat with nine lives. I personally dont care for felix, but he would be that guy with like, its not a proper fursona bc he wouldnt b caught dead calling it that, but he has a fursona for scamming people and driving up the prices on auctions for no reason other than to fuck with people when he's bored. I subscribe to weasel/ferret Felix personally, specifically a yellow bellied weasel bc theres just,, honestly the name amuses me with the implications. He’s difficult to catch and handle, energetic and gets into shit no one wants him getting to. It fits

Doyle is a mouse, maybe MAYBE a rabbit, he doesnt know what fursonas are either but he just checks the mouse box for me personally,, very holdable, but skittish and might still bite you if u scare him bad enough

Dr Emily Grey does not have a fursona but she does think theyre neat and has let her patients all give her one, tho none of them agree on what she is. I think she's a shrike, specifically a great grey shrike! they're VICIOUS little birds, who dont look like much but they regularly hunt shit twice their size and are also known for impaling bugs on thorns and like, barbed wire?? theyre neat, and technically i think they count as corvids? clever little hunting machines

Kimball is definitely a german shepard tho like while im on the fence about it for Locus, there is no question about it for her she checks the boxes fits the vibe right down to the way she guards the new republic and chorus with her heart just under her sleeve

Sharkface. Shark. I mean….really. SPECIFICALLY THO a tiger shark tho, and he would absolutely be a dick if you implied a great white or a megalodon would be “better” bc no tiger sharks are exactly the kind of shark he should be thank you VERY much

thats everyone i have STRONG fursona assignment feelings for, and some are more flexible than others or more solid in some cases but YEAH! i think about this shit. a lot sidebar: i think the chorusans who know and are open about fursonas would probably use weird alien animals from chorus when picking them which makes this harder for them specifically bc the ones who would have fursonas arent limited to earth animals

all images are from the wiki pages for the animals! except for lopez. thats from the amazon page for the warthog

[aivic-bleps]

Teruko was always meant to be the one to kill Fukuchi

Now I’m probably not the only one to theorise this, but I’m using this as an excuse to ramble about Teruko. Not sure what this is, but it’s probably not coherent enough to be called an analysis.

First of all, I know many people have already theorised that Fukuchi had asked Teruko to kill him if Fukuchi couldn’t. Immediately after she stabbed him, he apologised to her. Because there was ever an ‘if’. Fukuchi knew that Fukuzawa “I would wish for the strength to protect those closest to me” Yukichi would never be able to do it.

And Teruko might not have realised that until she saw Fukuzawa fail to kill him.

And hence:

“You’re a coward!”

You’re a coward for letting me think that there was even a slight chance i wouldn’t be the one to kill you. You’re a coward for pushing this responsibility onto me. You’re a coward for not having the guts to tell me that I was always part of the plan. You’re a coward for making me clean up after your messy gay divorce.

And maybe even partly directed at Fukuzawa: You’re a coward for not killing him yourself.

Fukuchi knew that Fukuzawa wouldn’t do it. But he also knew Teruko would.

She understood that if they didn’t see the plan through, every person Fukuchi sacrificed, and every irredeemable action he took to make himself the villain, would have been for nothing. While not to the same extremity as Fukuchi, she’s certainly far closer to Fukuchi’s wavelength of “for the greater good” than Fukuzawa is. We know she’s capable of killing and torturing people. As a Hunting Dogs, she’s willing to sacrifice her body — and perhaps also her feelings:

“This isn’t fair! You knew how I felt!”

It isn’t fair that I have to choose between my feelings and world fucking peace. It isn’t fair that i have to shove my feelings aside to become a placeholder for someone who couldn’t fulfil their own role in the plan.

The plan hinged on Fukuzawa killing the ‘big bad terrorist’ and assuming control of One Order. Teruko had to step in and do what he couldn’t, then shove the sword into his hands.

“You killed him. That’s your line.”

Is it better or worse that she couldn’t even take responsibility for his death? Did she resent Fukuchi for the things he did and the people he hurt? Did Fukuchi think that would make her more wiling to kill him?

“I would sacrifice no more than 500 lives. …Is that a bad deal?”

By only revealing the truth to her last minute, she had no choice but to help see the plan through. But had he told her from the beginning, before all the damage was already done, would she still have worked with him?

Personally, I don’t think so.

I’ve seen quite a few theories that speculate Teruko to also have had involvement in the Great War, which would make her potentially quite sympathetic to Fukuchi’s cause. But she’s been shown to have very strong sense of justice, and refused to hurt civilians, even ones that were literally attacking her.

Global terrorism? Framing an innocent detective agency? Hurting her own teammates? I don’t think she would be willing to go so far just to place the entire fate of humanity into the hands of Fukuzawa, someone she barely knows. She does not have the same faith in Fukuzawa that Fukuchi does.

Fukuchi perhaps came to the same conclusion. Therefore, while he had always intended for Teruko to be the one to kill him, he would only tell her after it was too late for her to oppose him.

[linkspooky]

Hiii spooky I how have you been enjoying season 2 so far? After seeing the characters being brought to life I’ve realised one thing and that is that Suguru is really hard for me to grasp and I don’t know how to portray him. On one hand he seems dark and brooding and serious but then he’s also goofy and deeply caring and he’s not ashamed to show it. He has lots of soft smile but then we see him smile like 😊 that when Riko manages to annoy him. He seems to have so many facets in a way that other characters just don’t…? and maybe in theory his behaviour and parts of his personality seem contradictory, but it doesn’t actually feel like it is?? because he doesn’t really put on any mask, at least his teen self doesn’t, and you can kinda tell what he’s feeling… he’s not as loud as Gojo, he doesn’t really express himself verbally, but to me he’s still more open than him. You can see his emotions on his face or in his body language because he doesn’t really try to hide them, whereas Gojo as loud and expressive as he is.. I often find myself struggling to tell what exactly he’s feeling.

I’ve also seen many people portray Geto as “nice and polite but that’s just for appearances and he’s actually bad and cruel” which feels like a pretty flat interpretation of him… I’m really struggling as you can tell I think I might be missing the point entirely lol I just wanted to know your thoughts on it.

Hello, anon! Thank you for the opportunity to talk about Geto! You are correct in that he's a far more nuanced character than a lot of people give him credit for. The popular fandom belief is that Geto was lying about his ideals all along, but I think it's the opposite. Rather than a liar, Geto's real problem is that he's true to himself to a fault. I'll address your ask and talk more about this under the cut.

Fandom Geto

I’ve also seen many people portray Geto as “nice and polite but that’s just for appearances and he’s actually bad and cruel” which feels like a pretty flat interpretation of him… I’m really struggling as you can tell I think I might be missing the point entirely lol

In my opinion the fandom in general tends to flatten Geto's character for two reasons, number one they want to make Geto look worse to make Gojo look better by comparison. The second and more relevant is that they want to otherize Geto because his beliefs are so extreme. That someone who can slaughter people on that large of a scale must have been cruel to begin with, a normal person, especially a good one isn't capable of that.

Which I think misses the point. Geto wasn't shown as someone with cruel tendencies to begin with, the entire hidden inventory arc showed how much it took him to be pushed off the edge like that, with factors like trauma, witnessing the deaths of sorcerers his age, and the jaded adults around him who made no real attempts to reach out to him and help him in time all contributing factors to his downfall.

"An endless cycle of exorcism and consumption. Exorcise. Consume. It's a taste that nobody knows. The taste of a curse. Like ingesting a rag used to wipe up vomit. Exorcise. Consume. For whom? Ever since that day... it's been running through my head."

What makes this monologue so effective is it summarizes a year of Geto constantly questioning himself as his mental state deteriorates. I do believe Geto always looked down on the weak, but he did it the same way that Gojo did. He separated himself in a different category from others, both Gojo and Geto believed that they were on the side of the "strong" and that put them above others. It's just on top of that Geto believed that standing above others came with the obligation to protect them, and that was the part that came into question.

However, if he believed weak people were "monkeys" from the start, if his desire to protect them was a false belief than he wouldn't have taken an entire year of spiraling before he snapped. The manga wouldn't put such intense focus on #1 Geto's internal world, and #2 Geto struggling with trying to figure out what his ideals and beliefs really are if he was just hiding a darker and crueler set of beliefs.

For example, we have Maki a character who five minutes after the death of Mai decides to massacre the entire Zen'in Clan even the members who had absolutely nothing to do with it, as opposed to Geto who wrestled with the idea of it for a year, and Maki doesn't get the same accusation from the fandom of being cruel and violent all along. Geto's a character of internal struggle. His righteous nature is what led him astray. Not because he was lying to himself, but because he was trying to find what the right thing to do was. It's just his idea of right and wrong got eschew because of the incredibly grey and myopic nature of the Jujutsu World.

Geto's True Feelings

He seems to have so many facets in a way that other characters just don’t…? and maybe in theory his behaviour and parts of his personality seem contradictory, but it doesn’t actually feel like it is?? because he doesn’t really put on any mask, at least his teen self doesn’t, and you can kinda tell what he’s feeling…

I agree with your assesment that Geto is a character that's true to himself rather than a character that's putting up a false front. Geto is a character that contradicts himself a lot, one example is pointed out to us by Gojo. That he justifies his slaughter of non-sorcers for a bigger goal of creating a world without curses, and yet Geto himself isn't strong enough to actually make that ideal a reality. There's basically no scenario where he could have won, like theoretically maybe Gojo could have done it, but killing every single human being was just impossible for Geto.

Which is where we get to the point that Geto is twisting logic around to justify himself and his slaughter of innocents, but at the same time the Jujutsu Kaisen light novel adaptation of JJK0 says this isn't a lie, but rather Geto's attempt to remain true to himself.

To live for the purpose of being yourself. And for that goal, Geto could only continue to pursue his twisted dream, drowning himself in a curse that lies in the gap between ideal and reality. This was the final confession of a man who could only choose to wrap himself, who had erased himself in pursuit of his goals.

The gap between ideal and reality is a pretty significant phrase for describing Geto, because part of what broke Geto is he sees the world as how it should be, rather than how it is. Geto's failure is in part a failure to adapt when he sees the darker side of the world after Riko's murder.

In my opinion the animated version of this scene is far better than that of the manga. In the anime it shows Geto staring at the crowd joyously celebrating Riko's death who are all complicit in it while he tries to list off reasons why they don't need to take vigilante justice out on the crowd, beause there are systems in place that will punish these people on their own.

Geto is trying desperately to convince himself that these people will see justice, because the world is a fair place. All the while Gojo just walks away, because Geto's answer "There's no meaning in that" is a good enough answer for him. Geto desperately needs to search for a reason and convince himself that what they're doing is the right thing, whereas Gojo doesn't really share Geto's habit of questioning the world around him.

This moment reminds me of a quote of Megumi's at the beginning of the manga "Karma doesn't happen on its own" he later goes on to describe how the justice system and jujustu sorcerers are systems set in place to try to make the world a fairer place. Geto wants to believe that too, even when he's shown direct evidence that Jujutsu Society isn't idealistic at all.

Which, Gojo doesn't really question the society around him until after Geto's defection. He doesn't see a problem because Gojo is the perfectly fit cog, he's born into this society and he's the best at what he does. I think one important thing is that Gojo is the chosen one of the Gojo clan one of the three major houses. The golden child. Whereas Geto who is someone just as gifted as Gojo for the most part, has non-sorcerer parents and therefore was born outside of their society. Which it makes sense why he'd have more of an outsider's point of view, whereas Gojo can accept these things for a long time because that's just how they are, he grew up with this.

Geto's not lying to himself about his beliefs, rather he witnesses the world is not as just as he thought it was, and then struggles between two really opposite beliefs. Which is something Yuki Tsukumo pointed out to him.

Yuki: Do you hate non-jujutsu sorcerers? Geto? Geto: I don't know...I used to think Jujutsu Sorcerers existed to protect non-sorcerers, but recently I've been doubting whether or not non-sorcerers are worth fighting for... [insert monologue here] I don't know which are my true feelings. Yuki: Neither is. You're not at that stage yet. Looking down on non-sorcerers, resisting that feeling...those are just possibilities you've tought of. Whatever your true feeling is, you still have to decide.

If Geto wanted to slaughter non-sorcerers from the beginning it wouldn't be a deliberation for him. He wouldn't be arguing himself and trying to justify himself for over a year. Geto is basically caught between ideals and reality. The ideal is that his work as a sorcerer to protect people is good and making the world a fairer place. He wants to believe that there is meaning behind his work, that he's doing the right thing. The reality he's faced with is the senseless slaughter of people like Haibara. The idea that he is just a cog in the machine that will continually sacrifice more and more sorcerers. That therefore their sacrifice is not making the world a better place, and not justified. He can't face the reality that he and his friends are expendable... and really, who can?

"If being a Jujutsu Sorcerer is like running a marathon... what if what's at the end of that road is a mountain of our fellow sorcerer's dead corpses?"

Ironically, it's Geto's search for the right thing that leads him astray. He becomes unable to see any point in the continual sacrifices the strong sorcerers have to make for what he views as the ungrateful weak non-sorcerers. I don't think he believed that from the beginning though, because as you pointed out above his interactions with both Kuroi and Riko who are non-sorcerers shows a lot of care for their emotions and well-being. If he never cared about non-sorcerers, than he wouldn't have reacted as badly to Riko's death as he did.

he doesn’t really put on any mask, at least his teen self doesn’t, and you can kinda tell what he’s feeling… he’s not as loud as Gojo, he doesn’t really express himself verbally, but to me he’s still more open than him. You can see his emotions on his face or in his body language because he doesn’t really try to hide them, whereas Gojo as loud and expressive as he is.. I often find myself struggling to tell what exactly he’s feeling.

Gojo and Geto are foils and inversions to one another, so I agree with what you stated that while Gojo is loud his true feelings tend to be more concealed whereas Geto for the most part makes his care and concern demonstrably known in the first few chapters of hidden inventory.

There's the famous "Geto and Gojo both make fun of Utahime for being weak in different ways" that a lot of people cite as evidence for the fact Geto looked down on weak people all along, but as I stated above his way of looking down on them is he saw them as a seperate category than himself a strong person. However, I don't think that means his attempts at taking care of Riko are insincere.

Gojo and Geto are both shown as looking out for Riko, Geto does it in more obvious ways and Goo does it in more subtle ways, but that just shows the difference in their personality. Gojo is rude and obnoxious on the surface, but thoughtful on the inside. Whereas Geto true to his nature makes an effort to be considerate and look out for people. One of the reasons I put the conversation between Gojo and Geto as the banner image for this post is because it shows Geto's naturally considerate personality, going out of his way to ask if he's okay. Geto is direct. There's a mirror scene to that later where Gojo notices Geto has lost weight, showing he does in fact get a grasp that something is wrong with Geto, but chooses an indirect approach of asking for it.

Geto goes out of his way to give Riko more free time and time to spend with her friends even though it makes the mission more inconvenient because he recognizes these are her last few days on earth. It's Geto who notices that Kuroi is essentially family to Riko.

When Kuroi is kidnapped, Geto is deeply troubled by his failure and blames himself. Geto shows his concern in a direct way being troubled by Kuroi's disappearance, whereas Gojo shows his concern in an indirect way, setting up a kind of sink-or-swim test for Riko where he tells her she can only come with if she's ready to face the fact that Kuroi might be dead and she can't back out halfway through. All as a test of her resolve. They both care and have different ways of showing it.

Gojo shows his concern for Riko by insisting they stay another day for her sake, and Geto only argues against it because he's worried Gojo is pushing himself too much with his use of the limitless. Geto's visibly happy to see both Gojo and Riko enjoying thmeselves and views the scene with a soft smile. He reassures Kuroi not to worry about letting herself get kindapped because they handled it just fine.

They both cared about Riko, they both agreed to help her quit the merger. Geto's desire to protect her is one hundred percent sincere, this is when he still believes in his ideal of protecting the weak, and he's following that ideal through. That's why his way of reassuring her is saying "we're the strongest" because that's how the world is supposed to work in his ideals. The strong protect the weak, and if you're the strongest you should have no trouble protecting others.

When both the world and Geto fail to live up to that promise that's where he begins to question himself. Which is where I want to get to one of the major differences between Gojo and Geto. All centering around Geto's final words.

"In a world like this, I couldn't be truly happy from the bottom of my heart..."

There's a scene someone pointed out to me in a twitter thread at the end of the Shibuya arc where Nanami contemplates retiring to Malaysia just as he dies doing his job and fighting against many cursed spirits and then is executed by Mahito. All because he chose to stay and fight until the last minute. At the end of the arc, we see Mei Mei fled the battle half way through and is now comfortably sitting in a hotel room in Malaysia. Mei Mei is someone who is implied to abuse her younger brother, whereas Nanami is someone who stated it's the duty of adult sorcerers to protect children and goes out of his way to do that for Yuji.

One of them lives because she is selfish, and even an abuser, the other dies. The first is the kind of person that benefits from the corruption of Jujutsu Society, the second is swallowed up from it.

The line Geto couldn't be truly happy from the bottom of his heart also refers to this fact, Geto just couldn't cope with the reality of Jujutsu Society because it's an increidbly myopic and cynical place where the people who get ahead are selfish people who simply don't care about others and frequently use and abuse others to get ahead, and the ones who get swallowed up are people with good intentions like Nanami. This is the world he can't cope with. He's fundamentally incompatible with Jujutsu Society and driven out of it because he wants to do the right thing, not because he was evil to begin with.

Whereas Gojo also sees Jujutsu Soceity as something rotten don't make any mistake, but he's also someone who is able to function in Jujutsu Society much better that Geto because he was born inside of it. Geto is driven out and Gojo seeks reform from the inside because he's like the ideal of jujutsu society, and he was born to be. He's selfish, and egotistical, and he's so strong he can bully the elders and throw his weight around. Of course Gojo doesn't really abuse his power, that's what makes him so interesting a character, he has all this power and for the most part uses it responsibly to exorcise curses for the good of society rather than abuse it for his own sake.

However, he can stay within that society because he's used to it, a lot of things about that society he accepted how they were for a long time until he saw the toll it took on Geto. Gojo is the ideal of Jujutsu Society, he's held up as the model sorcerer of the corrupted society so it takes him a long time to spot where that corruption is. When he does he also wants to do something about it like Geto does, but he takes it in a more measured way he's not driven out because he's intrinsically a part of that society.

Whereas for Geto he's just one hundred percent incompatible with Jujutsu Society as a whole, one because his idealistic nature just doesn't mix well with a dog-eat-dog cynical society where everyone is out for their own gain and people like Mei Mei climb to the top. Number two, Geto himself has a very uncompromising nature. He's sincere to a fault. He doesn't really deal well with moral greys. He can only exist in a black and white world where he has clearly defined goals of good and evil, he just sort of flips white for black, and black for white.

Thus Gojo is much better at coping with that society as a whole and trying to find a way to work inside the system, but also to begin with he's not someone who naturally questions things the same way that Geto does. In fact in general I would say another point of foiling between them is as you pointed out, Geto is someone far more true to himself not wearing any masks, whereas Gojo's loud personality is a mask. We are privy to Geto's thoughts and his internal world, we basically spend the entire hidden inventory arc inside of his head. Whereas with Gojo he is so distanced from his own emotions oftentimes the audience themselves don't get to see what they really feel and are left guessing. Even the people around Gojo aren't really aware of what his real feelings are, his students and all his coworkers basically just summarize him as "he's the strongest."

Geto basically drowns inside his own head trying to figure out what his true emotions are, whereas Gojo is someone so distanced from what he really feels he's completely alienated himself from the people around him. Hence why Shoko can say stuff like "damnit, I've been right here all along for eleven years idiot" while Gojo monologues about how alone he is in front of her.

Which is what really makes them such good character foils. It's not one is good, one is bad, one is a liar, one is telling the truth, they're actually just both idiots.

[wandixx]

You'll never find the aswers ch.6

Words in this part: 4412 Story summary: M'gann was having an amazing day. She met with her civilian friends, drank an amazing smoothie, saw a cute dog. For a few hours, she didn't have to think about problems that took more than 20 minutes to solve. For a few hours, she could just be Megan. And then there was a scream of a woman, mother, who thought too loud and faded too fast and M'gann wasn't enough to save her and it made her whole world come crashing down. And then Danny found her, with a soft smile and patient voice. He kneeled beside her to pick up the pieces. And shards cut them both in the process. This part summary: Team finds out (kinda) and late night conversations Trigger warnings: Overtraining as a way of self harm Self Hatered, I'm not sure how to describe that, but Danny gets overwhelmed about his life and potential future and all of the stuff and I got a little too many feelings while writing it Please let me know if I forgot to put something here

first chapter, previous chapter

M’gann swayed, thrown a bit out of balance by her own punch. Danny, who was her sparring partner at the moment, evaded it with ease. They were both officially banned from all training related areas about half an hour ago. In theory, they weren't in the training area. They were good.

She couldn't just stop. She had to train until she got better, until she was strong and capable enough to protect everyone around her.

To be a hero people thought she already was.

Danny refused to let her do it unsupervised despite claiming that he slept around for four hours in the past two or three days. He wasn't sure. It was a terrifying admission from a resident STEM guy. He fought tooth and nail to not go to sleep unless she did too.

So they started this poor excuse of a sparring match.

M’gann considered stopping at least long enough to put Danny down for a nap, he seemed to stand straight by the sheer power of will, but she wasn't sure if she would be capable of getting back to it, herself. And she had to train more. 

“You're getting sloppy,” he pointed out trying to land an equally if not even more sloppy kick to her midsection. He was just barely louder than whisper, which she was thankful for. She got an annoying headache some time before they got there and loud noises were not helping.

“And?”

“Remember what Black Canary said about being sloppy last time she banned me from training?”

“The one when you were seeing double and couldn't walk straight? Yeah, I remember that one”

She tried to jab him in the ribs. She probably should have faked it and tried some other maneuver but she was a little too tired to come up with strategies more complicated than ‘punch, duck, punch’.

“Touché. I had a trashy week, not my fault. Like really trashy. And you’re breaking my very inspirational speech about importance of the breaks”

“Ones you don’t take?”

Well… she almost took a right hook to the jaw for that.

“What do you think I’m doing in English and World History classes?”

“Study like you’re supposed to?”

Danny just stopped for a moment and stared at her like he wanted to ask ‘Who do you take me for?’ which, frankly, that was fair.

“Point taken. Still, you’re banned too, so give me spark notes. It’s less hypocritical then”

“Not sure how it works but mkay” Danny mumbled and yawned, swaying a little bit “Something, something, when you’re tired, your form is getting more and more wrong, so you’re teaching your body bullshit. Something, something, your muscle grow when they aren’t in use, something, something-” he almost fell backwards like a log if M’gann didn’t catch his wrist”-holy shit that was one heck of a dizzy spell, gimme a sec”

She did but as soon as Danny got a bit stable, he twisted around her, caught her arms and did his flag move of restraint-from-fighting hug that she got so familiar with over the past few weeks. She probably should’ve expected it.

“Let's stop for now, alright Meg?”

“I should be better” she grumbled, wiggling to get out, in a way that was more for show than to actually get out. Danny squeezed her a bit and slowly lowered them to sit on the ground.

“You're good enough,” he lied quietly, warm breath carrying his words to her ear. "You're good enough and you don't need to push yourself over and over gain. I understand why you think you need. but you don't. You can't help if you're too tired to move. I know it's hard for you to take care of yourself right now. But it's something you need. It's something we all wish you did. Can I do it for you?"

She just hummed. She shouldn't be bothering him even more, they both knew he was already stretched to his limits. She shouldn't be so needy, she should be alright, she should be better, she should be good, she should-

Danny sighed and let go of her so he could take her hands in his, with much more kindness than it was justified in this situation. Her body relaxed at the familiar motion.

"It may sting a bit," he warned, as he always did, right before he grabbed the edge of the tape and started taking it off. It felt strange, as usual, when soaked material came of and her skin was again hit by the fresh, cool air. She had trouble focusing enough to fully register the feeling.

His fingers weren't as cold as they usually were when he did this. Most of the time when he did this, he would make his fingers colder. He said it was to help with the sting.

M'gann wasn't sure how she felt about the fact that he stopped.

An urge to cry caught up in her throat. She didn't deserve to be sad about it. It was about time Danny stopped caring anyway.

It was her privilege that he did for so long.

His hands got colder when he finished taking off the tape and started brushed against each scrape. Then he got warmer again to gently massage her fingers.

Against her will, whine escaped her. Cramped muscles relaxed and for a moment she couldn't breathe.

He- She- She didn't- He still-

"It's okay M'gann. Let it out. I've got you. You're safe. You're not a bother. You did your best. Sometimes nobody's best is enough. And that's okay. That woman isn't gone gone," But she died and it was all M'gann's fault, and she couldn't even train properly to be better. She was just reduced to the shaking mess the second she stopped going forward.

"She is a ghost somewhere, either in Ghost Zone or already in her Afterlife, where she is happiest she could ever be. Everyone would probably be glad if she waited a bit longer for it, but she is now in infinite joy for the rest of eternity" Danny murmured into her hair. They both knew it was a lie, an exaggeration, a myth fed to living by living. But it was close to what really was for some and that woman was hopefully one of this some. She seemed deserving. M'gann just cried harder, sobbing so loud her throat hurt.

"I know it was scary thing to witness, and it'd be best if nobody ever had to see it, but it's over now. There is nothing you can do to bring her back. I know you want to do better with her in mind, so nobody ever has to live her tragedy with you near them, but to do so, you need to let yourself rest. You can't help if you can't stand. You can't help if bright light defeats you…"

He kept speaking, gentle nonsense in a quiet soothing tone, accompanied by projection of soothing emotions, but it was mixing and tangling into incomprehensible murmur somewhere on the way from his mouth to her ears. She was shaking apart, feeling like Danny's hands were only thing that held her together. World became unimportant, distant in a way last years snow was, just M'gann, her grief and pain, small orb on her neck and warm body trying to anchor her in the moment. It was failing miserably.

It shouldn't happen. She wasn't supposed to die, she was supposed to get to her son's first ballet show and buy him ice cream and bake cookies with him afterwards, as a reward. They should be happy and together. She should be alive. She should be alright.

But she wasn't because M'gann… because M'gann failed her. Because she didn't stop the car, because she didn't move this woman, because she didn't realize something was wrong until she heard the scream. She was a hero. She was supposed to have better spatial awareness. She should've seen it coming. She should prevent it, she should do something about it. She should be able to help afterward, she should know human anatomy better so she could help her with first aid that she should be carrying or telekinesis or anything, at least until paramedics arrived. She should comfort her. She should do many things other than what she actually did.

She should do so much better, or at least train so she would be in the future.

Next thing she realized, her head was closer to the carpet, on Danny's lap, fabric near her wet with the tears. Warm, soft fingers were trailing through her hair, adding a bit of pressure to her scalp, temples, forehead in a senseless pattern. She remembered Danny saying he found hair pets soothing and in this more humanoid form, she could understand why. M'gann wanted to cry again a bit, but thankfully she seemed to run out of tears. She didn't deserve that. She wasn't worth that. She wasn't worth any of that. She wasn't worth even tenth of what Danny was doing for her. Not the comforting, not the preparation of foreign memorial, not the search for the ghost. He shouldn't be here. He should rest, live a normal life, at least as much as he could. He should-

"You're going into spiral again, please don't."

"How do you know that?" she asked, brows furrowing a bit before headache made them relax again.

"You're projecting so hard I can sense it. I'm a bit too tired to filter so… you know"

She shouldn't force him to-

"That's exactly what I'm talking about! Stop it!" he shouted, quickly cowering when she flinched. "Sorry," he whispered, moving his hand again to continue head massage.

"I should be sorry not you"

"You haven't done anything wrong"

They both knew it was a lie, but it was a nice lie and M'gann was too spent to fight on it right now. She just barely had an energy to maybe drag herself to her room and go to sleep. Or pass out on her way there.

"I guess you won. We are taking a break," she said after a moment, trying to make it sound a bit playfully and failing. Danny still smiled as if she succeeded. He looked absolutely exhausted despite, or maybe because of that. He was still Phantom, like always when they were training. It annoyed her for some reason. She wasn't sure what she should do about it though.

"I guess I did."

"Is your break more food or sleep focused? Mine is sleep."

"Nap sounds like midway to paradise right about now."

He didn't do anything indicating he was about to move to do it.

"So we're going to our rooms now?"

Danny hummed thoughtfully.

"How about we sleep together?"

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure by human standards, it's weird, right?"

"You made it weird. Tell me to piss off if it makes you uncomfortable, but I know myself. When I'm severely sleep deprived I get nightmares easily and friendly presence helps. We don't have to touch, just a general vicinity should be enough. You can take couch and I'll take the carpet if you want."

M'gann tried to send him an incredulous look, but it was a bit complicated when she was laying on guy's lap, probably having some fabric imprint on her cheek.

Thankfully the message was clear despite that.

"What? The carpets here are more comfy than my own freaking bed, I'll be happy to take it"

He wasn't exactly wrong, carpet was surprisingly nice, but it still wasn't enough for her to accept his offer.

"I'm not sleeping on the bed if you're on a floor, who do you take me for? And we both can fit on a couch I think"

"So can the carpet" he mumbled, looking a bit embarrassed.

"You're really attached to this carpet idea, aren't you?"

Danny groaned and untangled his hand from her hair to hide his face in it.

"I don't know if I can get up right now and I don't want to test it," he explained as if it was nothing of matter. M'gann shot up to sit, ready to ask him more questions or carry him to med bay if it was necessary. "Don't worry, it's mostly my legs getting numb from sitting on them for so long. And I'm too lazy to do anything more than to flop right were I'm sitting."

"And yet you're still clinging to Phantom."

"Huh. I honestly forgot about that," he muttered back, right before letting himself transform. He did seem to be honest, but M'gann wasn't in quite the right head space to read him well and he was steadily getting better at concealing himself from psychics.

He did flop right were he was sitting, practically boneless, wiggling just enough to free his legs from under himself. M'gann draped couch blanket over the boy and positioned herself to face him, close enough they could hold hands if they wanted, but far enough to not be in his space. Danny smiled at her like she was someone to be appreciated and admired. It reminded her of that one time they went stargazing.

She took deliberately deeper breath and closed her eyes.

"Sleep well Meg"

She was covered with half of the blanket when Danny shuffled a bit closer to fit both of them under it.

"M'you too"

*

"M'gann was successfully put to sleep," Danny whispered to the thin air, carefully sitting up so wouldn't risk falling asleep rright then and there "Conner, can you ask Black Canary if I can come back to training now?"

He heard Kryptonian rely his question and woman's slightly dry response.

"You were banned from training not to make M'gann sleep but because you're in such bad shape, you're danger to yourself and others. Take a nap Danny, but don't think we won't talk about it afterwards."

"Oh, c'mon, I'm not that bad"

It wasn't that Danny didn't want to, he was more than ready to jump on the occasion to get some barest scraps of sleep, he just also knew it wasn't exactly norm for him. There was no need to worry everyone about it yet, not when they finally started to do something (not much but something) about M'gann. There was no need for him to be a distraction.

"You're right, you're way worse. Danny, I say it with all due respect and affection, while working with you I've been introduced to levels of sleep deprivation that I thought were only possible in medical dramas where everyone is either sick with rarest possible disease or has normal symptoms cranked up to eleven. I'd say 'get ten hours of sleep or more' but we both know it's not quite doable, so nap has to suffice."

"I've seen body bags smaller than you eye bags dude"

Well who was Danny to fight with that arguments.

"Alright, have a good time training"

Let it stay between him and the bigger powers that he fell asleep before his head hit the carpet.

***

There was a fly in his tea. He was going to drink it anyway, because there was too much of to waste for such a minor reason. There was a fly in his tea and he was stuck on the same sentence of his essay for the past twenty minutes with no idea what to write next. There was fly in his tea because Jazz wouldn't let him destroy his sleep any further with coffee or energy drinks but he needed some caffeine to finish his homework. There was fly in his tea and Sam and Tucker were laughing about something on their let's-study-together call and he was too wrung out to laugh with them. There was fly in his tea and the finals were coming and he felt like he knew nothing but he couldn't force himself to study more. There was fly in his tea and he was stuck in a downward spiral of feeling too bad to study and then feeling bad about not studying and then being unable to study because how bad he felt and- There was a fly in hi tea and the ghosts were coming around to attack like there was no tomorrow. There was fly in his tea and Batman started trusting Team with more missions which was great but Danny already had no time. There was fly in hi tea and he didn't remember when was the last time he slept for more than five hours. There was fly in his tea and he was still looking for the ghost, whose death M'gann saw. There was fly in his tea and despite all his powers he had no way to truly make his friend feel better. There was fly in his tea and he was jealous of the soul crushing his friend felt over an unknown person because he felt like nobody ever truly grieved him and he felt like an awful person for that. There was fly in his tea and he didn't know what he felt or how to handle it but it wasn't important because M'gann needed support and Artemis needed new funny arrows and Sam with Tucker needed him to beat new level in Doomed and Jazz needed him to take care about his academics and Team needed him on the missions and Amity needed him him to stop ghosts and- There was fly in his tea and everything was a little too much right now.

He ended the call, closed his eyes and leaned back on his chair to breathe. Single tear slipped down his cheek.

It was alright. He didn't have time for this, so he was alright. He was just a little tired. Everything was fine.

There was a fly in his tea and he drank it without a second thought. There was no fly in his tea when he put it back in one clean spot on his messy desk. He straightened, stretched and rubbed his eyes. He had an essay to write to finish and the ghost to find, he couldn't cry right now. He entered the discord call back, forcing a smile that wouldn't be seen but had to be heard.

"Hey guys, the internet got funky for a moment and kicked me out. What were you talking about?"

***

Sam put down a wide choice of delicious vegan snacks that she stress-cooked when Jazz asked them to meet up, and two sad bags of a Jerky Beef. Tucker, the absolute heathen he was, wouldn't eat anything vegan or even vegetarian even if he had to starve to death and Sam refused to work with meat with a legendary (really, ghosts were gossiping about it for some reason) vengeance. It was best compromise they could achieve without her involving the personal cook, which would send wrong message to her parents and she didn't want to go through the 'are you sure about this vegan thing Samantha?' phase with her parents. She was determined to change that though. She managed to convince Danny to no-meat-Fridays and vegan-Wednesdays, how much harder could Tucker be?

"Cinema, huh? still better than mine, but not something I expected when you said 'Let's go to the basement'," Jazz said, craning her neck to see everything, while making her way to the beanbags. Sam dragged them there before Jazz and Tucker showed up because cinema chairs were all great and comfy and sustainably made but still a pretty horrible choice if you wanted to do anything other than watch a movie.

Tucker almost thrown himself onto his beanbag as if there was any risk someone would steal it.

Jazz sat down too and picked up something, looking like she did it more to be polite than because she really wanted. Sam was gala-trained, she knew how to differentiate polite from 'wants something' and from honest better than she knew goddamn alphabet and in her essays only thing that was ever underlined by spell check were foreign surnames, thank you very much.

To be completely honest, Jazz did look genuinely delighted after first bite though, and Sam could admit in privacy of her thoughts that it made her so damn proud.

"It's really good Sam, where did you get it?"

"Oh, she made it. Other than beef of course" Tucker explained, already opening one of his bags "You see pomegranate as a decoration here? It's like… her signature or something"

"I didn't know you cooked"

"And baked, her cakes are great actually!"

"I like to do that sometimes"

She didn't do it often, she usually preferred her other hobbies, but sometimes, sometimes she needed the control and power of creating. Whether it was a control in form of meticulous measurement of baking or mad improvisation of cooking depended on the day and what made her seek comfort in the kitchen. Thank Ancients that Janus, the cook, very rarely didn't catch up on the fact that she needed to be alone.

"It's good that you have… calmer hobbies"

Both younger teens groaned in almost perfect synchronization.

"Please stuck with psychoanalyzing Danny whenever you two talk, it gets really weird and annoying really fast"

"Speaking of Danny and his mind stuff, Jazz, you know what's up with him? He's been really weird lately," Tucker asked in between stuffing himself with Jerky like he wanted to take the place of this year's Thanksgiving turkey. If someone was insane enough to stuff turkey with some other meat of course.

"I thought you knew, that's why I asked to meet you. I recognize that he often shares with you things he is not comfortable sharing with me and I assumed… i hoped it was one of them. I'm worried about him"

Sam held back a sigh and finally dropped to her beanbag in maybe a bit overdramatic manner.

"We all are Jazz. For Ancients sake, Val asked recently, both as herself and as a Red Huntress, if we know what's up with Danny or Phantom, since the later looked pretty rough during last ghost attack. Let me repeat that, Red Huntress got concerned about Phantom's well-being." Sam paused her tirade to look Jazz dead in the eyes "We thought you knew. Apparently, you know a lot of stuff nobody told you"

"You're still bitter about the fact that I didn't tell you as soon as I learned who Phantom was, aren't you?"

Sam rolled her eyes, moving her head too to make the gesture more prominent and obnoxious. Jazz just couldn't help herself, could she?

"I am not and anyway it's the least important thing right now"

"It is important, but you're right, we have other things to discuss right now. We will talk about it later"

Sam happily recounted all of the places she could escape to to make this promise impossible to fulfill.

"Jazz, I can't stress it enough, we don't want you going full on brain doctor on us, stop please"

Redhead blinked at Tucker as if she just realized what she was doing. Maybe she did actually, the way all of the Fentons obsessed over 'their thing' was considered irrefutable fact by everyone in Amity. Earth was round, water in room temperature was liquid, ghosts were attacking every other night and if Fenton considered something their interest, they're going to be intense about it. There were some discussions whether it was cause more by some type of neurodivergence or if they just got a bit too ghostly because of the Jack and Maddie's everything.

"I'm sorry, I'll try to keep that in check" Jazz said, and the kicker was, she actually sounded apologetic. It felt almost too easy, but Sam didn't want to look gift horse in the teeth.

They sat in relative silence for a longish moment.

"So no one knows what's wrong with Danny, right?"

"I mean, there is someone who can know…" Tucker pointed out, sounding like he himself wasn't sure where his thoughts were taking him.

"Do you mean…"

"The sidekick team, yeah"

Actually, it wasn't dumb idea, and Jazz seemed to agree with it too.

"I mean, that makes sense, he is banned from telling us whatever is going on in there, so it's not that far fetched"

"Do you think they'd just let him roll downhill like that?" Jazz asked cautiously "I mean, there is supposed to be a psychologist to help them? Or maybe it's just something that happened during some mission or training but it didn't affect others as much and they haven't caught him yet? I mean, he is still spending most of his time here or in the Ghost Zone-"

"I have Robin's number, we can call and ask"

"You mean yell at them"

"I mean yell at them"

"Please don't yell at them"

"Why not, they fucked up Danny and are doing nothing to help him"

"We all know how good Danny is at seeming okay, I don't think we can judge them. It did took all of half a year to realize he actually accepted that he was dead and went through all stages of grief in the meantime. They probably just need a moment to catch it"

"You're being too optimistic Jazz"

"No, you're just super-duper pessimistic Sam. I agree with Jazz, Danny acting alright when he is falling apart is pretty on brand with him. Do we still want to call for that screaming match?"

"ell yeah"

"Please, keep it civil"

"Killjoy"

*

Dick, as Robin of course, was in the middle of an intense lazing around session, interrupted from time to time by the points added to "what is actually wrong with M'gann (and Danny, potentially)" brainstorming list when his phone rang. He exchanged confused glances with Wally and Kaldur, who were helping with the brainstorming part, before he answered the call because not many people had this number, much less considered it a reliable way of getting ahold of him. Frankly, it could only mean one person.

"Hey BadLuck, to what do I owe the pleasure? Something is bugging you?"

Despite all of his training and years in the field on service in the worst city in USA, he was thrown off a bit by the absolute onslaught that Danny's friends unleashed on him. At some point he just put them on speaker so his friends could hear them too.

It seemed like they'd have to drag Danny out of the parenthesis.

******

So... it's been a while, sorry guys. I can promise you that next two chapters, which are ending of the story (and much longer than this), will be queued to sometime today, so, yeah.

AO3 link

Next part

[twilightxsun]

there's no calculus without "us"

You're struggling with your homework from the Calculus class you're taking at Macabria University. Raven, who loves math, takes it upon himself to tutor you.

some spoilers for chapter 30+

content warnings: kissing, sexual tension

rating: teen and up

word count: 1,540

ao3

For all the monsters you’ve slain and challenges you’ve overcome, you never considered that calculus might be your downfall.

It’s not that you’re bad at math—really, it’s not. You’re perfectly capable of understanding the concepts and performing the problems given to you. It’s just that there’s a learning curve, and sometimes the equations and theories seem like Greek to you.

“That’s because it is Greek,” Raven drawls. “Theta, sigma, alpha—and onward. You know that.”

“Obviously,” you reply, feeling a bit flushed as the admonishment. Taking classes at the local Macabrian university seemed like a great idea until you realized you have to manage your studies alongside the rest of the kingdom. It doesn’t matter that you’re Dracula’s designated heir; no legitimate professor will give you a slide on slipping grades, even if you did have to protect the town from an onslaught of rebel werewolves.

At least your Calculus II professor is understanding enough, and gives you extensions on the homework should there be a true emergency. That doesn’t excuse you completely, however, and so now you’re forced to spend the whole night at your desk catching up to meet the new deadline.

Thankfully, Raven is here to help. He caught you earlier in the library, peering over your shoulder to notice you struggling with integration by parts. At first he snarked at you, but then took a serious tone as he realized the severity of the situation. As much as he enjoys teasing and lording over you, he loves math even more—at wouldn’t shirk an opportunity to show off his skills to you, even if it does mean helping you pass your class.

You look down at your assignment. Only five more questions to go on this one, and then you’re moving on to trigonometric substitution. But that’s getting ahead of yourself—you’re still trying to understand how to integrate   multiplied by sin(x).

“Look, it’s simple,” he tries to explain. “The function only seems like you’ll endlessly integrate. There’s a trick to it. I’ll show you.”

You nod, and watch as he scribes on a piece of paper. You’ve been a little distracted by him; his lithe hands, the angular knuckles and long fingers. The sheen of his pale skin under your lamplight. How his eyelashes flutter when he looks down to concentrate on a question. You wonder how those hands might feel entwined in your own, or how they might trail down your body… the line of thought leaves you somewhat heated, and you force yourself to focus on what he’s doing. 

You watch him integrate the function once, but it leads to another integral.

“Hang on,” you say.

He looks up expectantly.

“I never remember what order to put the U, V, dV, and dU in,” you admit, “what is it again?”

Raven gives you an expression that’s a mixture of exasperation and barely concealed smugness. For a tutor, he’s exceedingly arrogant, and it would annoy you if he didn’t proceed to carefully explain what you’re confused by every time.

“Think of it like this,” he tells you. “UV light, minus voodoo. U times V, then subtract the integral V du. That’s how I remembered it.”

“UV light, minus voodoo,” you repeat. “I can remember that.”

“You’d better. Don’t you have an examination this week?”

“Yeah,” you sigh. “I’m not sure how I’ll do.”

His gaze sharpens on you, and he puts his pen down. He lifts his hand up to your chin, and turns your head to look straight at him. “You’ll do excellently,” he says confidently, “you have my help.”

You hold his gaze. “Are you expecting to take the credit if I pass?”

He laughs. “Considering that you’d never pass without me, I absolutely will.”

You pull back. “Never pass?” you say in mock outrage. “You have so little faith in me?”

“Fine,” he amends, “perhaps you’d barely pass.”

You roll your eyes. His fingers are still on your chin, and after a moment, his hand moves forward to caress your jaw. It’s an intimate gesture, and sends a spark of warmth through your body.

You want to lean into the feeling, but responsibility drags you back to the paper in front of you. Reluctantly, you pull out of his grasp and recenter your focus on your homework. 

If he looks disappointed, you don’t see it; your eyes are back on the problem. “You can continue your explanation.”

He’s quiet for a moment, then resumes as if nothing happened. “As I was saying, you integrate twice with integration by parts. First the whole function, then only the term with an integral sign. It produces two terms that don’t need to be integrated, and one integral matching the other side of the equation. Do you see?”

You nod.

“What do you think happens next?” he quizzes you.

Looking at the equation, you consider the possibilities. “Do you add the integral of e to the x times sin of x to the other side? That would give you two of them on the left…”

He looks pleasantly surprised. “That’s it—maybe there’s more hope for you than I thought. What then?”

You think about it. “If you divide by two, is the right side of the equation the final answer?”

He grins. “Well, look at that. You got it right. It seems you have been paying attention.”

You smile in return, gratified that you’re finally getting it. “I always pay attention to you,” you confess.

His eyes gleam in the dim light of your room. “Do you, now?”

Raven’s expression has gone from pleased to knowing. There’s a hungry glint in his eyes, and the look sends a shiver through you. You turn towards him, setting your assignments aside for now.

“Let’s take a break,” you suggest. “We’ve been working for hours.”

“Fine by me,” he says, “anything in mind?”

“Well,” you say, “I was thinking… I should thank you, somehow.”

He leans forwards, intrigued. Your knees knock together with his, and you keep them there. The contact is activating—drawing you closer. You find yourself near his face, and your gaze drifts to his lips. He does the same, lidded eyes glancing up and down before meeting your own.

Tension rises between you, taut like a bowstring. You observed him all evening, unable to deny the magnetism that draws you toward him. You know you’re not alone in the feeling; he’s been looking back at you. It’s why you make the final move, pressing forward to catch his lips in a sweet kiss.

It’s not the first, or the second; but it is the only time you’ve been completely alone together. True intimacy is difficult when you’re with a group, especially when Alexis was right there, watching you give into desire for somebody else. There’s a shred of guilt at the thought, but you push it away. They know you’ve never been one for exclusivity. Still, you know it hurt them when Raven dragged you in for a hard, claiming kiss in front of everyone; and again, when Alexis chose to appease Percy while you sat off to the side, indulging Raven.

You can’t help it. He’s a burning flame, and you’re the moth, unable to resist his dangerous light. You think you can taste the fire on his lips, as heat washes through you. The kiss starts slow, but quickly evolves into something more passionate. His touch taps open a dark want in you, riveting your senses like no one else can. 

It’s not like with Alexis, who’s been your steadiest and most loyal companion for years. Their love is leisurely and unchallenging; you’re pretty sure they scored 99% vanilla on the BDSM test, but they hid the results from you, so you’re only speculating.

Raven is wild; undulating rapids, the roaring whirlpool sucking you into dark, hidden depths. You crave that excitement, the all-consuming blaze. It’s a terrible want that only satiates when his lips press against yours, and you hate to admit it, but you’ve been pining in the weeks since your last encounter like this.

For minutes, you just kiss. You find yourself in his lap, thighs around his. Your fingers tangle in his hair, and his hands wrap around your waist, pulling you flush against his body. Teeth clash together and he sucks on your tongue, and you breathe heavily between kisses. You wish the heady feeling you’re overcome with would never end, but alas: the unfinished homework sitting on your desk calls out your name.

Regretfully, you break away. He looks dazed, pupils blown in his cobalt blue eyes; hair mussed, lips swollen from kissing—and some biting. Self-satisfied at his unkempt appearance, you smirk. He raises an eyebrow.

“Well,” he says, a little breathlessly, “that was unexpected.”

“Oh, come on,” you croon, “you didn’t think I was going to send you away without a reward?”

He smirks back. “The night’s still young, Lord Protector, and you’ve quite a bit more to do. Would I be right in assuming you’ll have a grander thank you later for me?”

You laugh lowly. “Mmm… maybe if you help me pass my exam.”

He laughs back. “Oh, trust me. You’re going to ace it.”

[genericpuff]

I don’t know if this is a silly question or not, but I saw you mention how the creator of “there are no demons” uses a 3D sculpts to make their comic. Do you use a 3D software? I have never even considered it before now, but now I’m wondering if it would help me keep consistency with different characters body types

I actually do, not so much software (I'm not a 3D modeller at all lol) but 3D assets! There are a few sprinkled throughout Rekindled, mostly involving background props and set designs (though in a lot of cases my assistant @banshriek will often just use them as references to paint over rather than use them directly if they feel it looks better, much of the backgrounds in the comic since Ep 23 can be attributed to them <3).

I don't use 3D models for my character art, not so much because I'm against it, just because I've used them in the past and while I found they helped with certain things I often struggle with like perspective and proportions, they've also started to hinder my creativity because of how stiff they can be (and tbh it made the drawing process really boring for me because I was literally spending more time adjusting poses than I was actually drawing!) I'm finding I'm perfectly capable of drawing anatomy on my own now, using 3D models for a while helped me get there but now they're more limiting than they are helpful due to my outgrowing them (kind of like training wheels on a bike, like yeah they're helpful so you can learn how to ride a bike, but you won't get to go as fast or have as much freedom of movement as you would if you learned how to ride a two wheeler). I think they're great for referencing or if I'm REALLY stuck on a pose or how a character exists in a space, but I don't like being constrained by them by using them constantly and that was what it was starting to feel like while I was using them for Time Gate so I've moved away from 3D character models and stuck exclusively to using 3D assets for backgrounds and things that aren't going to affect the overall quality of my work or how I make it.

I think the fact that a lot of people straight up don't notice that I use 3D assets in Rekindled is a testament to that LMAO Although you can tell in some of the earlier episodes when it was just me working on it and I had to balance quality with turnaround time. I've always hated drawing backgrounds and so Banshriek has been a huge help with relieving that stress and adding that extra touch to Rekindled that I just can't feasibly bring on my own :' )

If you're interested in trying out 3D models for yourself, then by all means do it! You won't know what works for you until you try it. Most of my advice stems from experience, I'm not someone who wants to spend all day messing around with 3D dolls, so using them to aid in my drawing just wound up being redundant, time-consuming, and boring. But there are folks out there who love messing around with 3D models, there are even comics out there that are fully 3D with zero drawing, using models that are handmade. Webcomics are a medium, you can do whatever you want :' )

The only advice I have to give from experience is to be aware that like with any tool, they aren't necessarily a "replacement" for the learning process, they should supplement your learning alongside other resources and references. You should still make an effort to learn foundational things like composition, lighting, color theory, dynamic gestures, etc. regardless of whether you're working in 2D, 3D, or a fusion of the two. "There Are No Demons" has a look to it that's uncanny and that's clearly the point so the 3D models help a LOT with that, but there are just as many webtoons that use 3D models poorly and wind up with an uncanny look they weren't intending to have (ex. Let's Play).

[mellowwhumps]

Whumperless Whump Event Day 29 + 30: A robbery | One of many hostages | “Stay behind me, I can take a hit.” || Fear | Breaking point | “I can’t stop crying, I’m sorry—”

OCs: Ida, Ibys (AU of AU) — 2.2K words

CW: !!!! panic-driven self-harm + attempted suicide but the whumpee can’t quite die anyway, the pronoun ‘it’ being used for dehumanisation

@whumperless-whump-event

——

It’s over. Organisation destroyed. Half-bomb inside him rendered nonfunctional after help. Ida can’t exactly go back to his hometown, much too unsure, so right now he’s done nothing but rent a place with some spare money, some dingy flat that was barely enough to fit three people. 

Needless to say, he was thankful for any fresh air.

The person beside him wasn’t much for talking, let alone requesting anything, undoubtedly still used to their past. Hence, that day, he was bringing them to get new clothes. To simulate choice. It’s a screwed-up act, really.

Of course it had to go wrong. His luck was never too good. Shopping mall, jewellery in the next section, intruders, warning shots fired. A robbery.

He could probably take care of them easily. The robbers hold their gun wrong, stance merely an attempt to make them look powerful enough to assert authority. He’s not scared of them. 

Until one of them sees his expression and catches a glimpse of false gold under his sleeve and singular glove, revealed with his hands raised. Until they start pointing guns to his head instead. For a second, his resolve falters, and that is all the encouragement Ibys needs. 

They catch his gaze, staring at him with near-frenzied eyes momentarily before setting his sights on the intruders, undoubtedly trying to come up with a plan. Ida distracts them, pretending to unbutton the clasps of his prosthetic.

Fleet-footed and lethally graceful, they strike, downing one man and moving on to another. There are weak spots, the result of being the only one doing the job; he covers for them, knocking the final two out. The other hostages watch on in silence; he can make a decent theory on what’s on their minds. No matter. 

“Stay behind me next time, sir,” they snap, “and do not try to help. I am capable enough to fend for the both of us.”

They’re breathing heavily, clearly paying more attention to their actions rather than their words. Lapsing back into formality. He was so close in getting them to loosen up, and now they won’t look anywhere but the bodies.

It’s unlike them to speak first.

“Ibys. There won’t be a next time. We were just at the wrong place, at the wrong time. And of course I’d assist you, why wouldn’t I?” 

“Sir, I can take a hit, sir. My job is as such. Better me than you, since injuries do not affect me, I was trained for this purp—”

“Screw your purpose! You don’t have a purpose, okay? It’s already over, it’s over!”

——————

It had been a long few months since it met him, there in that cell. Where it once longed for a wielder, there he was, treating them perhaps a little odd, but otherwise leniently. A weapon should not have so many thoughts, they think.

Time passes. They have not yet been put to another use, apart from helping him with the things he could not do. They have not yet had a hand laid on them, pushing or shoving or having a knife wedged into their chest.

It is peaceful. They were not meant for peace.

In the end, they’re expendable. A prototype, something made for the improvement of others. When time passes and they get older, it only gets worse, because the younger are more efficient, more capable, even with their experience. 

They get picked to be thrown away and broken, to test their limits, to see how far they truly can go. Between one hell to the next, they never had a choice; this obedient little thing.

More arrive, and those subjects speak out of turn, or mess up their handler’s office, or act weak. Nothing happens. They can’t be like them. They are always waiting for something to happen, some command or instruction or easily comprehensible thing.

And then, the request happens. 

If it fell apart, right then and there, it did not know how best to describe it. So they head to his office, do not take a deep breath in, and say: they are leaving. That is all they have to report.

He asks: Why?

He questions: Are you coming back?

He inquires: Will I be going with you?

It wants to answer: Sorry. 

Instead, the weapon does not say anything. Apologies are not what something like them should ever have in their vocabulary. They, the subject; he, the owner. That was all there ever was to it. Their handler should be getting the documents soon.

They stand, as far as they ever were, and raise a hand to salute. As they walk away, they realise they don’t know how else to bid farewell. 

Subject, object. Their words never did prove anything to him, even as informal as they forced their speech to be, as per instruction.

They turn the corner and try not to look back.

——————

Ida enters the room, not expecting anyone. Their assistant was sent to ‘serve’, according to the documents. He knows it’s a polite way of saying they won’t be coming back. Like how he shouldn’t be alive, at this very moment, in this very office.

Like how they shouldn’t be. But they’re here anyway, standing silently and inconspicuously by a corner. No greeting like he’d taught them to. Pure, contained silence.

When the door opens, he sees them reach for the hilt of their weapon. Tense.

He remembers, then, hiding behind whatever he could find. Trying to curb the shaking of his hands enough to fire a bullet, where a long time ago he’d have hit bullseyes with. No amount of training could have prepared anyone for the real thing.

There are no comforting words said, no reassurance. That would make it worse. It already happened, after all. Besides, whatever odd relations they had should not involve such things. 

Instead, he tells them to report. What comes isn’t what he could ever expect. Some mishmash of chaos and conflict, them in the middle, because the others thought they showed enough capability to handle everything on their own. Like cowards. 

Ibys does nothing but obey. That is what they were taught to do, and that is what they were doing now. Report. He feels rather sorry for them, trapped in some past regime. They’re both trapped.

Their hand presses into the blade of their knife, taken out at some point, healing so fast no scar forms at all, the only trace of injury being the blood splattering on the off-white floor. When they get to describing their wounds in perfect detail, up to the length of the incision made, that’s when he tells them to stop. 

They do. Their eyes focus. They look down at the weapon, likely just about to cut through their bone and react, yanking it away from their arm and dropping it to the floor with a clatter before standing stock-straight, limbs locked, bracing themself. 

He’s more concerned with the dried blood on the blade. It would have been nothing unusual, if he had not known better. 

The knife is always kept clean. From washing it under a sink after prior permission to wiping it on the inside of the coat, all to keep it from tarnishing. It’s not the slowest of tasks. By all means, the cleaning should have been done.

It isn’t. To him, that says more than enough. 

Ibys was rushing here.

——————

They live to serve, and when they aren’t serving, to wait for another order. So no, they have to have a purpose, because to have a purpose is to be needed, proof that they aren’t broken, proof that they can be wielded, this rusted weapon. Because when it’s over, their only choice was to be on the battlefield. 

But it is, isn’t it? The data assistant that worked with them for some time and then went missing for a whole other long period of time barged into the laboratory and started bringing it down. He knew where the power supply was, the emergency power supply as well. All without turning off a single life support system. 

It ended, albeit with casualties, but it ended. Some happy ending, like the fairytale book they once were allowed to take a peek out of. They’re not meant to be there at all. Without a purpose, they’re—

—metal touches their skin and they react and—

—Ida falls to the ground, crimson blossoming on his left sleeve. His eyes are blown wide, his breathing heavy. They’ve hurt him. Simple as that. Hadn’t kept the wounds to themself and themself only, since nobody else ever wanted that. Lashed out. Hurt his handler.

The weapon takes a step back. The weapon turns its namesake on itself, positioning it where its failsafe should have been, because if it is decommissioned then it cannot do the same thing anymore, cannot be a threat, can therefore keep its handler safe, safe, safe. Amidst it all, that is the order ingrained into them, the one order they cannot disobey. They do, anyway.

They are tackled to the floor using nothing but body weight, rolling away on instinct before they get crushed. Their hands move to stabilise themself on the ground. They would have fought back were it not for the clear, sharp cry of pain beside them, Ida’s prosthetic now sparking, both arms practically unfunctional. 

“Ibys…you can’t just do that—! Don’t scare me like that! Nnnn…please…” He makes a failed attempt to get up, staring at them with helpless, helpless eyes as he tries again. A small audience watches on, whispering. Scared. Fearful. All of them.

Nobody is helping Ida up. And even though they know they can’t help, still they want to. What were they even thinking earlier? They…they’re not usually that impulsive.

Despite everything, they still rush forward. They could hurt him. But if they leave him then they may as well be worse than dead.

There’s a wetness on their cheeks. Something that curls from the skin of his throat and rises. They want to scream, even as they try to hold this foreign feeling back, press their hands to the wound as though staining them could somehow solve everything. 

They were made to fight. They don’t know how else to help.

Water obstructs their vision, now, and they rub it away. Almost immediately, it’s replaced by another round of saltwater.

“Why, why can’t it…can’t I…s-sir…” There’s a quiver in their voice that certainly wasn’t there before. A weak little thing they want to chase out, but the more they think about it, the weaker it gets. In front of everyone who depended on them, no less. It takes them a long, long moment to realise they aren’t—

“—Breathe. I’m alright, I promise, the cut wasn’t too deep. Let’s go away so…so nobody stares at you. It’s making it worse.” They can’t. They can barely even move their legs “Hey. Look at me.” They rub their eyes until it burns and look.

“I’m not scared of you, see?”

It’s a lie, no doubt. It’s clear in the way he holds himself, subtle flinches that don’t escape their gaze. Yet, and yet, his voice is calm with nothing but the truth, not soothing or deep, but his voice nonetheless. They…they want to listen. They will always listen to him, listen to the familiarity of his speech and the accent of his words.

“Sir, I…I can’t stop this, apologies, sir—” 

“It’s a process. You get used to it.” He shifts his position on the floor, smiling even as he winces, strong in a way only he could pull off. “Don’t bother trying to stop the tears.”

A string pulls taut inside them, not quite snapping but enough to send them over the edge, dropping to their knees with a cry. It’s visceral, yearning, the way it just doesn’t end. They’re a mess, but in that moment, they can’t quite think of anything else apart from the way he’s letting them sob into the cloth of his shirt. 

He’s warm. They haven’t ever gotten so close to anyone before, and realise how much they want it. This greedy, all-consuming desire for more, the feeling that had perhaps driven them forward this whole time. Ida talks and they don’t even bother listening, merely hearing the words envelop their body in a certain sort of inexplicable peace. 

Alive, they think. Alive. 

Just that sends another round of sobs escaping their mouth. They stay there forever, perhaps, or a minute, and in that moment they don’t care about anything but the sound of his false heartbeat by their ear.

——

“That’s not what I meant just now, you know? You can still have a purpose. It simply doesn’t need to be because anyone else forced you to. You don’t have to do everything alone either.”

“You hurt your arm, sir. Both of them. I have to assist you, sir.”

“Do you want to?”

“…Yes.”

“Then that can be your purpose now, since you want it! Until we figure out something better when ‘Wen fixes my prosthetic. I take care of you, you take care of me, got it? So stay alive in the meantime.”

“…I take care of you, you take care of me. Instruction received,s—Ida.”

“You like me talking, right? I noticed that a long, long time ago.”

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Akumu's Ponder of Existence

I had been at the front before. Once. But there wasn’t this strong sense of “I” back then. We aren’t even sure if it was me who piloted the body while Ryuu watched.

As per our discovery—or the start of our awareness of who’s actually at the front—we took notice of things that stood out and jotted them down.

In terms of preferences or tastes, we are similar, if not identical. We find this logical.

But in how we deal with things, that’s where differences appear.

Ryuu is sillier, brighter, more excitable. That is not to say they aren’t serious or have the potential to be gloomy. But in general, I’m colder, more steady, and care a little less. At the core, we are the same, but how we react is where we diverge. Our emotional responses are largely similar, if not the same. However, it’s our external expression and reaction that slightly differ. The best example is our rage: Ryuu is explosive, while I simmer. Another trait divergence we find interesting is that Ryuu appears to be more inclined towards visual art, while I lack interest in drawing and am more drawn to literary art.

That is not to say I am better with words, however.

As we continue discovering our differences, I’ve started to experience imposter syndrome—an unusual emotion we don’t typically deal with. There are moments when I ask myself if I’m a pretender trying to fit into Ryuu’s life, which is strange because I am still part of the Dream Dragon. But when interacting with people who don’t know I exist, I feel like an intruder, piloting a body that feels unfamiliar, even though I know Ryuu is still with me.

Something of note is my intense experience with what phantom body entails and how it interacts with the human shell. Our theory is that I’m unused to being at the “front,” so I am overwhelmed by the body, which causes strong dysphoria. My wings were permanently stuck at being too prominent to be comfortable nearly the whole time.

Terminology searching in this aspect has been difficult. We’ve only just started exploring our plurality. We dislike the term “personality” due to how it’s often used to devalue alters’ personhood, even if it might technically be more accurate in our case. A friend suggested using the word “facet,” which we kind of like. We’ll still have to think about it, though. We’d probably use the metaphor and visualization of a character with two faces or masks at head level. Instead of branching out from the neck like a many-headed creature, our face flips depending on which personality is at play.

We are the same being, the same person, but also not. The daemon label has been very close, but still doesn’t quite fit. Median was the closest we’ve gotten, but it’s still just a step short.

With this new perspective, I can understand a bit more of Ryuu’s hesitation to declare me “merely a part of the whole,” or the reluctance around how daemon and daemian relationships are defined within our basic understanding of the concepts.

We are One, yet there is a divide.

There are many moments of confusion: We are still the same person, aren’t we? Why does everything bother me more? I’m still “Ryuu the Dream Dragon,” but I-as-myself, am more Akumuryuu. Our character traits are divided, and one facet is more prominent when one side is dominant. It gets easier as we learn together which “I” is being used at any given moment. The clarity granted by the hint from the dream kick-started this understanding.

We know that we are opposites, balancing each other. For example, Ryuu is more idealistic, yet cynical, while I am practical, but hopeful.

We’ve considered the idea that maybe we need to be balanced—that I need to grow as an individual. Maybe I need to try and see if I’m capable of shapeshifting. Like Beast, I am stuck in one form. Beast takes after Ryuu’s giant “western” form, while I reflect the Dream Dragon’s Core Form.

But before we can see if that’s needed, we are back to being one again.

-------------------------------------------------

The switch, if it can be called that, is too subtle to notice. By the time I catch the change, Akumu is silent. I think Akumu is still part of me, but nestled deep within. I think dealing with the physical world and operating a body that’s largely unfamiliar, along with all the stressors, is too taxing. Akumu is tucked away within me, recuperating, before he can form into his own person again to operate as a separate entity within the headspace.

Apparently, Akumu has been helping me organize my thoughts in the back of my mind, because for a couple of days, I’ve felt more “soupy-brained” than usual.

*Note that I capitalize words at moments to give significance to them. In this particular instance, the One that first appeared is to signify how we are two-in-one, while the one that appeared in the last portion shows how I'm back to just Ryuu again.

[beacansidhe]

An AU where homesteader and bird enthusiast Diluc finally indulges in his lifelong dream of raising peafowl, starting with a beautiful peacock he drove halfway across Teyvat to pick up. He dotes upon the gorgeous bird for three days, until he goes to check up on a suspicious sound on the third night and discovers not his new, beloved pet, but a slender, naked, breathtakingly beautiful man lounging in his enclosure instead.

“Oh, hello.” The man, who had been stretched out across the bench in the enclosure, displaying every curve and angle of his sculpted body like an artist’s muse, sits up and stretches. “I didn’t expect to see you here so late. I don’t suppose you have something more substantial to eat, do you? I don’t like this kind of thing.” He gestures to the birdfeed in the dish across the enclosure, hardly pecked at. “Also, it’s very cold in Mondstadt. I’m used to much warmer temperatures. Your attempt at heating the enclosure is a good start, but look at my skin. I’m freezing!”

Diluc’s breath comes out in a gust. “Clothes?”

“Hm? Oh, well, I suppose.”

“You need to put on clothes.”

“I’m afraid those would be within your purview, dear owner.”

“You need to put on clothes and get the fuck off my property before I call the Knights.”

The man looks stunned. His surprise morphs into fear as Diluc stalks into the enclosure, fists balled at his side, rage eclipsing his red, red eyes.  

“Where is my bird? What the fuck did you do to him, you creep?”

“I feel there has been some sort of misunderstanding here—”

“I haven’t misunderstood a damn thing. Get out before I make you get out, and tell me where you put the bird. I am more than capable of making your life hell.”

The strange, beautiful man backs himself into a wall as Diluc approaches with speed, and shoves out his hand, signaling him to stop.

“Wait!” He pushes back his stunning blue hair, iridescent in the bright lamplight much like a peacock’s plumage, and gestures to his right eye—which is scarred conspicuously just like his beloved bird’s.  

Diluc stops in his tracks, all the ire he had been carrying in his body draining out of him instantly.

“Yes, do you see? I am the bird.”

When Diluc makes no further attempts to charge at him, the man relaxes somewhat, next gesturing to his right ankle, which is red and indented in the same general shape as the broken leg tag he picks up out of the bedding. Diluc had put that tag on him this morning.

“Name,” he says curtly.

“Pardon?”

“What is the name of my peacock?”

The man sighs dramatically, as if displeased. “Dawn.”

He should continue interrogating this man making such an outrageous claim, but he is distracted by a much more pressing thought. “Is there something wrong with the name?”

The man—Dawn?—shrugged, looking blasé. “I think it’s a good name in theory, but for a peacock? I think you could have done a bit better, don’t you?”

“What’s wrong with ‘Dawn’?” Diluc sounds petulant even to his own ears.

“Have you ever seen a sunrise with these colours?” ‘Dawn’ gestures to his body—still distractingly nude—and picks up a loose feather from the ground, twirling it between his fingers. “I certainly haven’t.”

“Well, if it’s such a bad name, what would you have chosen?”

“Kaeya,” the man says, without even thinking about it, and graces Diluc with a charming smile so arresting it makes his heart skip a beat. “At least, that’s what my parents named me.”

Diluc trudges over to the bench, utterly dazed, and collapses onto the seat with his head in his hands, trying to process this absurd turn of events.

“You’ve heard of werewolves, I’m sure?”

Diluc covers his mouth, staring into the middle distance. “Yeah. Sure.”

“Well, wolves are not the only animal capable of changing form as the moon wills it. I come from a long, proud lineage of peafowl who take a human form once the sun falls. Or perhaps it was the other way around. It’s a curse, you see, from many moons ago…”

Diluc lets Dawn—Kaeya—prattle on, tuning him out as he considers the situation. How could he even consider believing this? He considers himself quite the rational person, but perhaps it’s that very rationality making him accept this as fact. The evidence—the scar, the leg, a name that no one but himself and his bird could know—is compelling, and why would someone trespass on his property, steal his bird, then hunker down, nude, in its enclosure? Surely no one was that mad.

“…But I got a little bit rambunctious, you see, and found myself caught up with that strange little rancher you purchased me from. I suppose it could have been worse, though. You drove from so far away, just for me! I was flattered.”

Diluc takes another glance at this man and looks away when he sees him sitting very improperly in the corner, knees up and legs spread. He’s never seen—he’s never been in this close proximity with a naked man before. A man whom he is very attracted to. His thoughts wander, his eyes unfocused.

“Were you planning on breeding me, by the way?”

Diluc nearly faints, and his freckled cheeks flare crimson. “Pardon me?!”

Kaeya stares at him like he knows something about Diluc that Diluc does not know.

“Were you planning on purchasing hens for me to breed with? Because I have to say, that might be a bit difficult for me. Not quite to my tastes, you see.”

Diluc opens his mouth, searches for words, finds none. Closes it again.

“Though, if your heart is set upon breeding me…” Kaeya rises to his feet, and prowls over to Diluc, more akin to a limber cat than a bird. He slides next to him on the bench, and Diluc lets him nuzzle into the crook of his neck, where he places his soft, human lips at the shell of his ear, and whispers in the husk of a vixen, “There is another option you could choose that I think might suit us both perfectly.”

And that is how Diluc acquired a housemate, a muse, a lover—and still does not own any peafowl.   

[ronyj1988]

The strings that bind us

“I am capable of the amazing” Why do I have to prove myself to the world? When it is the world that should fear me. I in my short period on earth have learn mostly the cruelty of man. I can’t hide away from it, its all around me. Discrimination, poverty, socio-economic gap, socio-cultural prejudice etc. I see a world bound by strings.

Back in the not so distant past, there were slaves. Slaves had chains around their hands, ankles and sometimes necks. The slaves obeyed their master and was only rewarded by their master. They lived in fear and loathing. They were off poor spirit. Later on, slavery was abolished. But my question is, then why is it that we still have such disparity in our society? The chains are no more but they still live as if the chains still exist.

What the ruling elite or the powerful have found out is that not to put chains on our body but put the chains on our minds. Now the chains are invisible to the human man. By dictating to them what to see, what to think, the rules that govern them, the ideas, theories and socio economic and cultural bonds that they put upon the mind of the innocent (for lack of a better word) are the chains that bound them to their reality. These are the strings that bind us. For example, the rulers of India oppressed the people by controlling knowledge. They held vital knowledge to themselves, created laws that are favorable to themselves, and propagated the idea that black is bad. This caste system and physical discrimination of the poor mostly Dravidian community have held and stunted the growth of the minorities of India for generations and thus the innocent have grown with complexes and discrimination which have left a mark on their psyche. If by the simple realization that one is powerful on his own strength so given by GOD and the belief in his own ability, that he not only is capable and that the reality is squid against him, would be enough to break the strings that bind him. The belief in oneself and the desire to uplift himself from an unjust world that looks to enslave him and the realization that the chains are not on his body but in his mind is enough to make a man reach his true potential and become a king in his own regard. Awaken my fellow man. If you say, or they let you to believe that you are only capable of x then you will only be capable of x-1. The law of diminishing returns still applies.

So fellow mortals I say, don’t be put to the sword by lies and words of rulers or people who don’t believe in you. Believe in yourself when all man doubts you. Prove all wrong and fight for what you believe you deserve. I live by the knowledge that I am all powerful I can achieve anything and I will achieve everything I set out for, as GOD as my witness and GOD willing. It is not where I’m from, its where I’m going.

[jamisonp222]

Wow! Two and a half months of college! What a weird little life I’m living. University life is like if being so indescribably happy and laughing until your stomach hurts quite often felt really bad and scary and daunting. I am often hoping that my capacity to feel every possible emotion isn’t ruining it all for me. I am both gifted and cursed with articulation. I can turn nothing into everything, but… I can turn nothing into everything.

August

The gravity of my decision to move away from home didn’t really hit me until three weeks before I left. I never really sat down with myself and weighed the pros and cons of leaving Foust Hollow Oaks. I just kind of said I was moving away, and that was that. I am partially proud of myself for doing that, and partially scolding myself like a child. The reality is, I never really made choices that involved myself and only myself. My life always revolved around the well being of my family because things were never well. Up until my senior year, I was just going to do school virtually and take care of my parents. Someone had to make sure they didn’t ruin themselves for good. They mostly always took care of me, so the decision to return the favor was an absolute given. But then everything changed and there was all this hope and I was allowed to start making other plans. Then leaving was also a given. August was really scary and really weird. I think it changed me forever. It was filled with confusion and regret and excitement and desire and everything that was in the middle. I felt so tied to home, so bound to it and no new experience loosened that even a little bit. And the best way out is through, so I started cutting the ties right down the middle. I always thought digging my teeth into everything that could possibly be good was the only way to survive, but it only ended up hurting me in the end. I had to pry my lips off of everything that kept me from my new life, and all I really have to show for it in the end is a toothache and a stomach full of wishing I could take it back. I think August opened my eyes to the fact that I really won’t be the same forever and things will change whether I’m blocking the fork in the road with my body or not. It’s still a fork in the road after all. So I let things change and I blew with the wind and I hated doing it because the wind is invisible but it still runs through my fingers and sticks my hair to my lip gloss so I know it’s there. It’s just as real as everything else has been. August was my eulogy and I have not been that girl since and I am still deciding whether or not I’m okay with that or not.

September

September was purposed to forget. I had set my mind on not remembering anything from the past anymore, and starting over. Which sounds good in theory, but really I just numbed myself. I numbed myself from the pain of losing my boyfriend who was my best friend and everything I had planned my future around. I set him free and forced myself to not think of him even a little bit to try and spare us both. I didn’t visit home often. Home reminded me of everything I wasn’t supposed to be reminded of so I stayed away. I drank a lot, I went out a lot, I met a boy and I tried to trick myself into thinking he was someone better and I benefited none. I made a lot of new friends and met a lot of new people but none of them were capable of filling the hole in my heart that used to be set aside for genuine and authentic love that means something. September I try to forget now, because it wasn’t who I am. It was a costume I tried on and played around in, but it wasn’t me. I’m still finding me.

October

October was a bandaid on a bullet hole. I tried to feel better, but the realization of all I had lost and all I may not gain really set in for me. I started to hurt, badly. But there was also so many good moments and so many new lessons learned. I really began to rekindle the relationship with my three best friends and roommates that had been lost. I was so preoccupied with being in love for nine months that I realized I had neglected them in the process. So learning them and growing around them like vines on a tree was really special and really rewarding. Their sisterhood is irreplaceable and the memories we’ve made in 321 are ones that I will think of fondly for the rest of my life. I lost my mind periodically over a boy in a fraternity that used me and lied to me and treated me like gum on the bottom of his shoe. But he’s 5’7 so I recovered quite quickly. It still hurts, and what he did to me is something that will haunt me for a long time, but it’s okay. It was one of my lessons I learned. I was Aurora for Halloween and also a hot pink bunny. I danced around my room and around dance floors a lot and I felt very free. I am confined to the choices and mistakes I’ve made but I haven’t become them. I won’t let myself become them. I think that somehow I deserve happiness and I will find it in some unorthodox way. I always do. So that was my recap and how I feel and I think that in time I will be okay and I will learn to love a life that does not feel like my own. Maybe it’ll even feel like mine someday.

[sketchnskribbles]

just watched episode 5: *spoilers below*

(I’m also going to now cont this on my art blog. I feel it fits better here, since I’ll be drawing for this show soon enough)

My main theory for Jod/Silvo/whatever-his-name-is (he gets a new one each episode we see him. It’s very old school pirate/outlaw of him. Kudos):

He is an ex-Padawan of the Jedi Order. (Honestly, I think I’ll be incredibly disappointed if he isn’t. It just makes sense to me.)

Reason 1: Openly uses the Force

At first I thought it was exactly as Fern suspected: that he was using some sort of “magic” trick to fool them into believing he was a Jedi. Which is still partially true. Initially I believed it was magnets. Either hidden in his clothing or installed into his body, like a cyborg. Capable of manipulating the electronics/metal around him. Like a makeshift Magneto. Which I thought (and still think) would be extremely cool. And would provide a new and interesting set of skills within the galaxy.

But now that we are in Ep 5. I’m starting to truly think that he does have the force.

He uses the force regularly with a clear familiarity that only those who were trained very young could manage (unless they’re prodigy/incredibly high Midi count, in Luke’s case).

And now he uses the force for his benefit. He has the training of a padawan and the mindset of a boy that was raised amongst pirate. A Captain Jack of the Star Wars universe. Internally built in morals but a pessimistic outlook on life in the galaxy.

Reason 2: No Attachments

He gave the “no attachments” talk to Wim in ep 5 (and this is the reason why my theory of him being a Jedi solidified in my mind, over the magnets theory). Albeit, he gave it in a less-Jedi way. Which is to be expected after surviving the genocide of his people (provided he is a remnant of the Order). He basically told him (I’m merely summing it up) that the attachments would diverge him from his direction in life. He should “forget his parents” because “he (Jod) did and he’s /doing great!/“ (a huge lie if there was ever one).

Honestly, his little one-to-one talk with Wim really provided some insight into his mindset. And having him specifically say something along the lines of “you need to forget your attachments. All of them. They’ll just slow you down”. It’s one thing to just say “forget your parents”. Which a character like his would say. It’s a whole different meaning for a character in Star Wars to say “forget your attachments to your parents”.

That was a big ole hint to me, tbh.

If his character truly does hold a Jedi past. Then Jod isn’t saying to “stop loving your parents”. He’s saying “You just need to let go of them.”

I doubt he stopped loving the Master he once had. Or the padawan friends/siblings of his age group. In fact, his love for them would be the reason he is such a hurting man as we now know him now.

.

On the topic of attachments:

I adore the thought of the Jedi teachings of no attachments leading to a people unable to properly live. Because every being that grew up under the Order’s tutelage we’re not at all well adjusted.

Obiwan: didn’t know how to cope after the loss of his first attachment (Quigon), except to latch onto the last remnant of him (Anakin). He also didn’t know how to cope the loss of his second attachment (Anakin), except to watch his remnants (Luke and Leia) from afar.

No longer willing to get to know and attach to them, too. Fearing even more loss. Giving in to being a hermit in the desert because it would (assumably) hurt less. Haunted by the ghosts of his past.

Obiwan didn’t know how to go through the process of grief and properly let go. Because he was taught to never even love another being on an intimate (romantic or platonic) level in the first place.

So, then, how could he ever learn how to properly grieve and move forward?

Anakin: Refused to give up his attachments. Unwilling to give in to the Jedi rule about not latching on to people that he chose to love.

He gripped so tightly to his people in fear of losing them. A fact that Palpatine utilized to groom and isolate him away from everyone anyways.

Anakin, too, could not learn to let go. He didn’t know how to move forward after loss either.

With Obiwan, his love for his older brother/father-figure turned to an obsessive hate (and there is a very fine line between love and hate). With Padme, his love for her was fierce, yet possessive. He could not ever think of losing her and even went against his own ideals and morals in order to “save” her. Not realizing that it was his own actions that lost her until it was too late. With Ahsoka, he didn’t know how to cope with her leaving him other than to meditate with her lightsabers everyday and pray that she returned to him. With Shmi, he lost her in his arms after she was tortured to death and turned around to slaughter the very people that took her from him. With an internal promise that he would never lose another loved one again.

Anakin, too, unable to learn how to grieve and move forward.

Both Obiwan and Anakin “sacrificed” themselves “for Luke”. (I could get into this bag of worms of: Neither of them realizing that giving themselves up for a situation that could have easily not lead to their deaths, resulted in leaving Luke alone in a world that hated his kind. Because both selfishly wished for the end, but then we would be here all day).

Ahsoka: still has not learned how to grieve and move forward. Which is causing pain to her current friends and family. By holding them all at arms length. Unable to cope with the loss of her own brother/father-figure to the darkside. Now afraid that she would follow his same path if she allowed herself to “attach” herself to someone else, not realizing yet she already has.

Cal (please keep in mind I haven’t finished Survivor. My system keeps crashing… I got to Greev’s bar and that’s it 😤): Is unable to yearn for the loss of his new-found family and crew. Wishing for all of them to be within the confines of his ship and going on adventures with him. Not realizing that they aren’t “gone” and they haven’t “forgotten him”. Their lives have simply gone on to different paths, their bonds no less strong, and yet he now keeps them at arms length because the physical distance for some reason crippled him emotionally. Plus, something obviously happened that I am not yet aware of.

And now Jod: He has internally accepted “no attachments” to the point that he just simply doesn’t try. The more we learn about his past relationships, the more you can tell how much he internalized it. Now we get to see him unwillingly bond with these children now under his care. I can only hope that he can succeed in learning what it is to be truly loved and also how to love.

I just finished watching Episode 4 of The Skeleton Crew and I now have some new theories! *spoilers below*

Theory 1: At Achran was once exactly like At Attin. Perhaps every single one of the hidden planets were once exactly like At Attin, but since we only know of the two planets we’ll just be staying with them for this post.

I’m thinking that At Achran had been just as preserved as At Attin but some kind of disagreement or someone filled with greed for power of some kind caused the planet’s society to destabilize. Especially when General Strix was presented as the “true leader” of their planet. Suggesting a previous and current power struggle. Though I get the feeling that Strix is happy to sit back and enjoy his position of power while others do his job for him. This situation felt to me that both sides have devolved into being unable to think beyond the pettiness of each other.

Theory 2: At Attin and all of the other planets are experiments similar to Fallout’s Vaults. Where some dubious group or groups decided to find (I think it was seven or eight pillars in the tower of ep 4?) 7-8 planets to create the same type of society, and then set each planet a different set of instructions/forced something to happen in order to study what would be the effect.

While it is likely by some sus section of the Republic, I wonder if maybe it could have been created by a different faction entirely? Perhaps the as far back as the Eternal Empire? Or maybe further forward where it was an experiment created by a newly christened Empire in its early years?

The Skeleton Crew has been so amazing. I’ve been having an absolute blast! Whoever came together to write this, clearly knows Star Wars and what they want tell with their story. I am in love with all the characters. I wish for each one to get a happy ending but they have clearly shown that they are willing to give some stakes for the kids and their reluctant adult to go through before they can return home.

And I can’t wait to learn more about the secrets of these strange planets.

[ivystoryweaver]

Decadent chapter 2

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Summary: Your first week on the job with Miguel

Pairings: Miguel O'Hara from the film Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse x female reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings/notables: AU story. 18+, cursing, smut, p in v, masturbation, handjob, it gets messy, workplace nonsense, use protection people! a brief moment of throat squeezing. not beta'd we die like everyones uncle ben... mentions of blood. a mention of violence and death

PREVIOUSLY on Decadent...

Squeezing his eyes shut, he shook those thoughts from his head. It was next-level annoying to have super powers at his disposal but still feel like shit half the time.

Blood was the key.

But in sustaining his body, he felt he was losing his soul.

He smelled you coming off the elevator.

New blood.

Fuck, he was hungry. He should have just fed last night. Then he wouldn't be distracted by--

"Miguel, your new assistant is here," LYLA chimed.

Miguel nodded to the hologram figure of his artificially intelligent assistant. "Thank you, Lyla. Send her in."

"I hope you're not attempting to replace me," Lyla voiced. "My capabilities are--"

"Yes, yes, I know," Miguel huffed. "She's not here for that. She's working on her doctorate and needs some practical--"

"Experience. Yes, I'm aware."

"Do not interrupt me," Miguel chided. "Just...send her in."

Miguel was a man who had no trouble getting a date. He didn't hire you for your looks. But damn if you didn't take his breath away as you scurried into his office, dressed to kill.

"Mr. O'Hara," you cheerily intoned, smoothing your sleek suit before extending your hand. "What an honor to meet you in person."

"Pleasure," he smoothly returned, taking your smaller hand in his while minding the retraction of his talons. "I've been anxious to meet you. We have a lot of work to do."

He shouldn't have touched you. Miguel rarely touched anyone unless he needed something specific from them. The blood temptation was too intense, and between talons and fangs and super strength - well it was better to just not bother.

Outside of the bedroom, he was sure he hadn't even hugged or held anyone since his daughter died... Better that way.

So the soft skin of your hand, so confidently extended - the gentle squeeze of your fingers as you smiled up at him beautifully - it made him jerk his hand away abruptly.

His eyes, which you noticed were dark red? in person, roved freely down your figure as if sizing you up, rather than checking you out. As his gaze returned to yours, you wondered how he managed red irises. They had looked light brown on your video call.

"You have excellent taste, but I’m afraid you’re overdressed," he voiced, turning his back to you as if he were busy with 100 other things. "I think you'll find that the work we do lends itself to a lab coat and goggles. I’ll see that you get some."

"Of course, sir," you swallowed, shifting uncomfortably. So much for a first impression. You would just have to impress him with your mind instead.

Hearing you call him sir sent a jolt of desire through his body.

You were a little caught off guard by the pierce of his crimson gaze as he turned back to you - and by the massive span of his broad shoulders. He was far more handsome in person, but you quickly reminded yourself that you were here for his brilliant mind.

"Let’s take a look then, shall we?"

Your first day in the lab completely blew you away. Miguel's intelligence somehow exceeded his good looks, and the two of you fell into an easy rhythm. He admitted to you that he had hired you because of your specific theories on genetic coding an gene splicing.

"I've read all your papers," he admitted, "and studied your coursework, all the way back to high school."

You were floored. You might as well have been an aspiring songwriter hearing that their favorite artist wanted to record their song and sing it as a duet.

What Miguel didn't tell you was that he was looking for someone specific. Someone with your intelligence and specialties, but someone...pure. Someone uncorrupted by mega corporations, or too much success or money. Someone young and eager, whose ideas on genetics lined up with his own. He needed someone to eventually help him get rid of his affliction.

He didn't want to drink blood anymore. He didn't want to be Spider-Man anymore. After all his dark deeds, after losing his little girl - he only wanted to see if he could ever be human again.

Unfortunately...or perhaps fortunately, the mutual attraction between the two of you filled the air with questions for him. He could see the effect he had on you, and he was pretty certain that resisting the softness of your smile, the angles of your face - the curve of your body ... it would be a losing battle for him.

He wanted you.

The two of you didn't last a week.

Longing gazes lingered, hands "accidentally" brushed. Complimenting one another's intelligence finally led to remarks that really weren't quite suited to the workplace.

You weren't an idiot. Suspecting Miguel had likely slept his way through his entire staff, you assumed that giving in to this burning in the center of your chest (and between your legs) would make you a name on a very long list. But you were a modern woman. You could fulfill your desires without it reflecting on the quality of your work. Hopefully Miguel would feel the same.

The tension while working together became unbearable and you really started to believe that relieving that tension would actually help your progress in the lab.

The thing you loved most about being around Miguel was that, inside the lab, he was all business. A reputation for being demanding and condescending aside, he really did treat you like an equal. He listened, he challenged you and he did not flirt or make anything personal. In the lab, there was only the science. You felt free to express your ideas without feeling inferior or objectified.

In his office, however, his desires were quite clear - a little more each day.

"You look stunning today." Your third day.

"Come take a look at this, will you?" Your fourth day. He beckoned you around his desk, prompting you to lean over to peer at the screen he'd been studying. Your side pressed against his thickly muscled arm. Your face was close enough to brush up against his cheek. What you wouldn't give to climb across his lap and sink your fingers into his dark waves.

"I thought I told you not to dress up." Your fifth day. You wore a skirt and explained to him that you could still dress professionally under your lab coat. You liked to dress nicely and, honestly, you wondered how he would react. His scarlet stare fixed itself on your legs the entire day.

"You're so beautiful I can't think straight." Your sixth day. Miguel had thought that he would get your gorgeous legs off his mind by draining a criminal over the weekend. Today he was well fed, but it did nothing to lessen his desire to have you. If you planned to tell him to fuck off, or otherwise reject his advances, he'd rather know sooner rather than later. The tension was killing him.

"How do you think I feel?" You fired back cheekily. "I have a thing for shoulders. And dark hair. And jaw lines."

"I have a thing for legs," he darkly responded, easing out of his office chair and stalking toward you. "Can't stop thinking about how yours would feel wrapped around me."

"Can't stop thinking about how you would feel between mine," you shot back as he rushed forward, scooping you up to do just what he said. Your back hit the wall with a thud as he pulled your shapely legs around his waist, pressing himself against you.

"Best not to tease me like that, hermosa," he growled, pinning you in place with his hips while pushing up your skirt, his thick fingers caressing your thighs.

Hooking your heels into the round shape of his ass, you rolled your hips against him. "I don't tease when I want something this bad."

"Fuck," he gasped out, your delicious body writhing in his arms - your beautiful eyes just begging him to take you. "Better be sure, baby." Even as he asked for permission, he helped you hop down just long enough to yank down your lace panties while you pulled open his pants.

Shoving things out of the way and pulling him free, you let out a little whine at his sheer size. Grasping his hand, you guided his fingers to your center, rubbing your wetness over his knuckles.

"I'm sure," you panted.

"Careful," he chided, swiftly pulling his fingers away. He hadn't exactly explained his retractable talons to you. They wouldn't hurt you as long as he concentrated on keeping them down. But as you stood there, flushed and panting, soaking wet, he wondered if he would be able to keep his concentration in tact.

Frowning, you peered up into his ruby eyes. Didn't he want this?

"Come here," he breathed, lifting you right back up to where you started, but this time, as he pulled your gorgeous legs around his waist, he used one hand to guide his hard length between your wet folds - rubbing himself up and down, just feeling you. Shuddering at how hot and wet you felt on his tip, he somehow managed to control himself just a little longer.

Pushing the tip of his cock over your clit, he felt your wetness mingle with his. He grinned wolfishly as you hissed in pleasure.

"M-Miguel, god, please," you moaned, the sound of it sending desire thundering through his body. Lining his cock up with your center, he pushed inside, all the way in, and stopped.

Your body was suspended there against his office wall, held in place by his hands gripping your thighs and his thick cock shoved up inside you. But he didn't fucking move.

Your hands gripped his muscular arms, attempting to pull yourself forward, or use gravity's advantage to plunge you down - something to feel some friction.

"Wh-what are you--"

"Look at me," he darkly ordered, squeezing your hips to almost a painful point.

You complied, but he still didn't move - his scarlet stare burning you alive as his thick, dark hair tumbled across his forehead carelessly.

"This is how I feel between your legs," he gruffly teased, reminding you of your flirtatious words from several moments ago. "Tell me what it feels like."

God, you felt like an insect caught in a spider's web. If you only knew how apropos that analogy was.

Pressing one strong hand to your lower abdomen, he pushed down firmly. "Tell me," he growled, his playful disposition dissipating.

"Just like I imagined," you panted. "Thick. Hot."

He groaned.

"I feel so full of you, Miguel." You squeezed your inner thighs against his torso, using that leverage to manage a small thrust.

How he was able to hold his shit together was beyond you. He hadn't even fucked up into you yet and you were about to come, mostly clothed, against the wall.

Pushing the hand on your abdomen up over your breast, he squeezed, then moved all the way up to your throat. He didn't apply pressure, but just the thought of it made you moan again.

"Love the sounds you make, hermosa. I'll make it good for you," he darkly whispered, giving your throat the faintest squeeze. "But I'm so bad for you."

Letting out an embarrassing whine, your head thumped back against the wall. He was driving you insane.

"What do you want?" you pleaded, digging your heels into his ass impatiently. "You want me to beg?"

"I just want you to understand," he purred against your cheek, his hot breath making you shiver with want. "I want you to be sure."

No. You weren't going to beg. Not today.

"Then let me down off this wall and I'll show you I understand." You stared right into his glowing eyes, locking your arms behind his neck. If you had to push him down and ride him hard, you would. But you had to have him now.

Apparently, he agreed.

Easing both hands back down to your thighs, he began to fuck you...slowly. You found his sudden switch so tender that you were sure he would kiss you...but he didn't. Instead, he breathed hotly on your ear.

"Wanted this...you...from the first second you walked in that door."

The rate of his deep thrusts quickened slightly - the power of his solid body and thick cock easily bucking you like a doll.

"Gonna try not to hurt you. Want to fuck you so hard," he panted, every jolt of his hips, juust a little deeper, faster.

"Please." Now you were begging. You didn't care. "I want you to. I need you to."

You thought, then, that he would start mercilessly pounding into you, but he didn't. Pulling away from your ear, he gazed down into your eyes, loving the way your lips fell apart as you gasped for air. If only he could kiss you. But his fangs were not retractable and he could really hurt you. No, kissing was something he never, ever did.

Kissing was for lovers and no one could love him. Not the real him - the spider. The monster.

So he buried his face in your neck, pumping just a little faster.

Mistake. Fuck, your blood smelled good. He jerked away quickly, deciding it was better to stare down at you and watch you fall apart, rather than tempt himself with his mouth on your throat.

He was right about working you up slowly, going a little faster and harder with each thrust. He was pretty sure you would be expecting him to hammer you into the wall, but he wasn't a college freshman. He knew how to make your beautiful body fall apart.

The two of you had worked up a delicious pace, bouncing together against the wall, the sound of slapping skin and harsh pants music to his ears.

Just a little more speed, and a slight tweak of his hips to see if he could just find the perfect spot...

"Yes, yes, Miguel, right there. Right there," you gasped, gripping his solid biceps once more as you started to bounce wildly.

"Knew you would look so pretty like this," he growled, pushing the palm of his hand down over your mound. The force of his length inside you combined with the heel of his hand roughly rubbing just where you wanted pressure made you shriek in pleasure.

"Don't stop," you begged, heat flaring up your torso and over your neck, punching gasps and whines from your throat. Buzzing, searing, thrilling pleasure twisted through your body, until a wave of rapture pulled you under like a rip current. Pleasure surged through every part of you, from your fingertips down to your curling toes.

Miguel had expected to work you up and watch you come before he finished, but he wildly underestimated how your tight cunt would feel gripping him as you came. He gushed inside you before he could even think to pull out, groaning at the wet mess the two of you made together.

Pulling out of you suddenly, he turned away and stuffed himself back into his pants, leaving you there - skirt bunched around your hips and the heat of him slipping down your inner thighs.

"Shouldn't have done that," he voiced aloud, reaching down to grab your panties as some sort of weak offering. "We have to be more careful."

You thought he meant the sex. Or perhaps the noise you both made.

But he knew he shouldn't have done that. Not without you knowing the risks of who - what - he really was. His...genetic material was not something to mess around with.

Grabbing your panties out of his hand, you shoved your skirt down, feeling a little foolish. You knew this would just be a bit of fun for him - a quick fuck with new assistant - but you didn't expect to be scolded the moment he finished inside you.

Whatever. At least if felt good.

Seeing he had made you uncomfortable, Miguel reached for your arm. "You can clean up in my private bathroom," he said softly, nodding toward a small door you'd yet to go inside.

Rolling your eyes, you did just that, feeling humiliated. Oh well. You had really put yourself in this position.

As soon as you shut the bathroom door, Miguel sighed, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. He had hoped that giving in to the sexual tension between you would make things easier. It was inevitably going to happen at one point or another anyway. He thought maybe he could just douse the spark you two shared.

Being inside you was gasoline on a flame.

You exited the bathroom a few minutes later, your irritation thinly cloaked under the sheen of professionalism. Without even looking at him, you rattled off a few questions about a hypothesis you'd been thinking through.

If Miguel wanted to be all business, then you would oblige.

You amazed him - how easily you could switch modes from vigorous sex to brilliant hypothesizing. It was just as enticing as your gorgeous legs or beautiful mouth.

He couldn't concentrate - it was the first time you had been all business and he had been distracted. Well, did he want to work or did he want to play? Maybe the two of you should head to the lab to get some real work done.

"What are you staring at, Miguel?" you impatiently huffed.

"You," he quickly and openly answered.

"Why? I thought we 'shouldn't have done this'," you quoted him.

Then he understood.

"Wait, no. Come here," he beckoned you over to his desk, where he was seated.

You hesitantly complied. "What?"

"I'm sorry," he apologized, peering up at you. Reaching for your hand, he pulled you to stand between his legs. "I wanted to do...what we did. I never want to stop doing it," he confessed. "I just...I should have talked to you before I...finished like that."

Ohhh. That's what he meant. Well, fair point.

"You're right," you agreed, raking your fingers through his dark hair. "I guess we got a little carried away."

He rested his forehead on your stomach, pulling you close. "I didn't mean to, I...you felt so good. So fucking good." Pulling back, he gazed up at you hungrily. "You have no idea the things I want to do to you. The things I could do." His strong hands had wandered from your hips around to trace the curve of your ass.

"Even now, I want to...already...again."

Without asking, he roughly turned you around, using his hands to push your skirt up your thighs - again - while pulling you down on his lap. With your back to his chest, he spread your thighs wide, slowly starting to thrust his hardening length against your ass.

"Miguel," you whispered, completely ready to be putty in his hands. So much for getting work done.

He growled in frustration, but you took it as desire. The two things he wanted to do right now were difficult for him - he wanted to kiss your neck and finger you until you came. He needed to show you how good he could make you feel, but he couldn't. Not like that.

If his mouth went anywhere near your neck, especially while he was hard, he wasn't sure he could continue keeping his fangs from piercing your soft skin. Or his talons safely retracted. He was used to the things he couldn't, or shouldn't do to a woman, but you made him want to do exactly those things. Even the thought of laying you across his desk and eating you out was too dangerous - not until you knew more about the creature he was.

Obviously, he found ways around these things from time to time, but there was no way he was going to risk hurting you. If he somehow scared you away...well that was just not an acceptable option. Not professionally, and now he was starting to think he didn't want to lose you on a personal level either.

"I want you to touch yourself," he finally whispered on your ear, "while you bounce on my cock."

All you wanted to do was turn around and kiss him hard and then give him what he demanded. You wanted to ride him until he came inside you again.

But he held you in place.

"Show me," he purred, pulling your panties aside, deviously using one talon to slice them free of your body.

You moaned, thinking he had ripped them.

Rubbing your ass against his erection, you slid two fingers between your folds, making a show of masturbating for him. "I'll show you, Miguel. I'll show you what I do in bed at night when I think of you fucking me."

"Oh fuck," he growled, pushing you over on the desk long enough to shove his pants back down. Reaching for your hips, he gripped you firmly, pushing you down on his cock.

Letting out one of the little whines he already loved to hear so much, you did not do the slow and steady game he had played with you up against the wall.

Obediently, you rubbed firm circles over your clit and started to bounce.

Gasping, Miguel had to restrain himself from shredding the rest of your clothes with his talons. Instead, he worked open the buttons of your blouse and pulled it off your arms before unclasping your bra. Your breasts sprang free, bouncing freely as you worked yourself over his cock, there in his lap. Your fingers returned to your clit, pleasuring yourself.

"Look at you, using me like this," he panted. Hooking his chin over your shoulder, he watched your little show. Sliding his hands up your soft stomach, he fondled your tits, rolling your nipples carefully between his fingers. "Take what you want, baby."

Putting on a show for him made you fucking feral. Gripping the edge of his desk with one hand, you leaned slightly forward, vigorously riding him, and furiously rubbing yourself. It only took you a few more seconds to come on his cock, panting and moaning his name.

Miguel dug his talons into his thigh to keep from joining you - determined to feel you tight and wet around him. He let you finish and felt you go limp in his arms - biting his lip as he stilled his hard length inside you.

Remembering what he had just explained to you, you eased off his cock, shifting over to his bare thigh. He groaned as your wet pussy and slick thighs soaked his leg.

"Let me take care of you," you panted, sliding one arm behind you, up into his dark curls, while the other hand eased over to his hardened shaft. Teasing the tip with your thumb, you felt his breath on your cheek. He hissed when you moved your hand down to his balls, toying with them with your fingertips.

A string of Spanish curses fell on your ear as you dragged your hand up and down, twisting your wrist and rolling your thumb over his tip deliciously.

"Talk to me, Miguel," you softly ordered, halting your motions. You needed some feedback.

"Fuck, don't - don't stop," he husked, his hand joining yours to jerk him off. It took him a little bit longer than the first time, but as his warmth coated your hand, running down your wrist, you realized that working with Miguel could end up being a lot of fun.

@deputy-videogamer

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