#and the only reason it's a sitcom is because they are trying so hard to not want to die

[reidrum]

you can let it go

note: user reidrum's hurt/comfort demons are back but like don't read into it

summary: in which you feel yourself slipping away but not if spencer can help it

cw: hurt/comfort, reader is depressed, hairwashing, pet names, spencer loves you very much

wc: 1.7k

The soft glow of the television is the only source of light in your apartment, a marathon of sitcom reruns has been burning into the screen for the unknown amount of hours you’ve been laying on the couch.

When the door opens you don’t even notice it, your phone has been dead for the past few hours and so if Spencer or anyone else texted you about their arrival you were none the wiser. You’d feel bad about being unreachable if you knew Spencer wasn’t expecting it—you’ve played this role before, too well actually—and so Spencer knows better than to think otherwise until he’s checked home.

“Sweetheart?” he calls out softly, aware of the vague shape on the couch.

You hide it well, you think. Spencer being gone on cases most of the time makes it easier for you to slip through the cracks undetected, where the weight of the fall needs only to be beared on you and no one else. Spencer loves you, and you know this to be fact. You love Spencer too, so much that it would be the opposite of showing him love if you let him worry about you—so you don’t give him the opportunity to do so.

It’s not that you weren’t cause for worry, people worry for a reason. But the vicious cycle you’ve stuck yourself in means creating a set up for them to leave you. They can only worry about you for so long until they realize you’re not making tangible progress to get better; they’ll never know you don’t have a choice but they’ll know it’s enough for them to abandon you.

But Spencer, he has enough to worry about. His job requires him to see the worst of what humanity has to offer, not to mention he’s already dealing with navigating his own gnarly demons like addiction and incarceration. To add upon that would be selfish and irresponsible, you love him too much to do that to him.

He approaches closer and his heart clenches at how quickly you try to mask whatever emotion you had on your face to a stone cold front.

“I’m fine.” you mumble, “just tired.”

He frowns, because of course he knows. It’s the only thing you don’t like about Spencer—his ability to read you better than anyone.

Spencer finds your achilles heel and lets his arrow aim with accuracy as it disarms and exposes you. To Spencer, he’s just looking for a way in. If that’s through your most vulnerable spot then that’s a trek he’s willing to brave for you.

He kneels in front of the couch to be level with your face, his hand reaching out gently carding through your hair.

“Angel,”

Your eyes squeeze tighter, like if you try hard enough you’ll be engulfed in the darkness it brings you.

“Don’t.”

He sighs, he knows it’s a futile effort to ask you what’s wrong. His fingers don’t stop combing through your hair, and you’re thankful that your dismissiveness wasn’t a deterrent this time. You’re never sure when it’ll be the last time.

“What happened baby?” he whispers softly.

You let out a whine, unsure yourself when or how it got to this point. It just…happened.

His hand holds pressure on your head, “Did you eat anything?”

“Wasn��t hungry.” you claim but your stomach betrays you as you speak.

He’d laugh if he wasn’t as overly concerned as he was, “I’m gonna order food and then we’re going to take a shower, okay?”

You open your mouth to protest, “But—“

“No buts,” he chides, “Just…wait here.” he stands up and walks into the kitchen dialing the restaurant number.

Great, you’ve upset him now. He just came home from a trip after solving what was probably a very exhausting case, and now you’ve selfishly added more to his plate of things to worry about. You should have sorted yourself out before he got home, before you burdened him some more.

Spencer places the order and walks back out into the living room, “Food’s on the way, do you want to walk to the bathroom or I can carry you?”

Your reply is immediate, “I can walk, don’t worry.”

The ghost of a smile teases his face, “You sure? Morgan thinks I gained some muscle since the last case, won’t even strain a thing if I tried.”

You make a poor attempt at matching his joke, “It’s okay, my legs still work I think.”

“Alright baby, come on.” he holds a hand out to help you up and leads you to the bathroom.

You stand in the middle of the bathroom while Spencer turns on the shower making sure it’s in the right temperature setting as it heats up. He returns to you and gestures for you to lift your arms as he gently undresses you, before quickly removing his own clothes to join you. You both get in the shower with your back facing the water stream and Spencer in front of you. The warmth of the water is soothing on you, but the concern rises before you can counter it.

“You’re cold,” you note, as your body takes up all of the water.

“I’m perfectly fine, don’t worry about me.” he whispers gingerly, his hands coming up to frame your face to gently guide you, “Lean your head back, sweet girl.”

You listen and let the pressure consume you as the warmth surrounds you like a halo, his fingers threading through your hair to massage your scalp. It’s almost painful at how tender he’s being with you, you’re not sure what you even did to deserve this treatment.

Spencer removes his hands and pumps shampoo onto them, rubbing and lathering them together before returning to your head. His fingers rethread themselves again but he brings your head slightly closer to him to press a long kiss to your forehead. The familiar sting returns to your eyes and you know it’s not from the shampoo dripping down.

He leans your head back again to the water stream to wash out all the shampoo, before repeating the same process with the conditioner. His fingers spend extra time applying pressure to your scalp in hopes of it relaxing and calming you further. When your eyes flutter shut he smiles to himself softly before kissing your nose.

The intimacy of the moment is not lost on either of you. There’s a version of you that wouldn’t even believe someone cared about you this much to do things like wash your hair for you. Spencer can’t imagine a version of himself where he does otherwise.

Once all the conditioner is lathered out he makes quick to wash your body and his before rinsing you both down and shutting the shower off. He reaches for the hair towel and wraps your hair up, to which you can’t help but smile in amusement at the fact that he even knows how to do that. Spencer must sense your astonishment and chuckles, “I told you I’m a man of many talents.”

You reach for the bigger towel and hand one to Spencer as you both dry off and step out of the bathroom. He perches you on the edge of the bed while he goes to the dresser to grab clothes for you both, coming back to tug one of his sweatshirts over you and a pair of his boxers to slip into. 

Spencer puts his own clothes on and grabs your wet hairbrush, cause for another amusing smile because how the hell does he know the difference. He notices a lot more about you than you think, and for him sometimes it’s fun to keep those cards hidden until certain times. Like now, when he props himself against the headboard of your bed and calls for you to sit in between his legs.

Once you situate yourself he leans you forward slightly so he can brush all your hair to your back, and gently brushes out the tangles in your wet hair. The soft stroke of the bristles grounds you back to reality—back to him, and suddenly you don’t feel as heavy anymore.

The last tangle is brushed out and he sweeps your hair to one side and gestures for you to lean back into his chest, his nose burying in the crook of your neck.

“I’m not mad at you,” he says into your neck, “I know you think I am, but I promise you I’m not.”

You swallow a sob, “It’s okay if you are, I don’t mean to be so high maintenance.”

He holds you tighter instinctively, “It is not high maintenance to feel emotions, baby. Or to need support. Taking care of you is a privilege, really.”

Since the day he met you he’s spent everyday cursing and thanking whoever made you feel like this was a normal state to be in. You don’t deserve to feel scared at showing your face to the people who love you in fear they’ll weaponize it against you. But in an odd and maybe slightly selfish way he’s thankful that he gets to be the one who shows you what it means to be loved, that your ability to grow and heal is not sacrificed as a causality of the circumstances you’ve faced.

What he does get upset about is when you hide from him like this—he can’t take care of you if he doesn’t even know something is wrong, and as smart as he is sometimes it’s just not that easy to tell how you’re feeling on calls with you when he’s away.

“I mean it, I love you. Nothing will ever change that. I’ll always be here for you. Just need you to tell me when, okay?”

You angle your head up towards him, “I’m sorry.” you strain.

“Nothing to apologize for, angel,” he presses a chaste kiss to your forehead, shutting his own eyes, “You’re okay, everything’s okay.”

Spencer knows you trust him, and that your reluctance to open up is not personal to him but to who you were before you met him. He hopes that by loving you as much as he does it will be enough to uncross the wires that led you astray, and back into his heart.

[renjunpeach]

🧾 - WHAT A LOSER

𐔌 nonidol!mark x afab!reader 𐦯

⌣⌣         ◌⃘    warnings: angst , failed relationship , arguing , break up , angst no comfort , no happy ending for mark..! , reader moves on he's still stuck .

೯ ⠀ ⁺ word count: est. 5.8k ໋　｡　　

Mark hasn’t always been like this.

He used to be the guy who smiled with his whole face, who cracked dumb jokes at any time. The guy who remembered her coffee order even when she changed it every week.

He used to love her with ease. Loudly. Completely.

But lately, he's the guy who ghosts her texts for days. Who forgets their plans. Who looks right through her like she wasn’t the person he once swore felt like home.

And Y/N was tired.

Tired of making excuses for him. Of having to check her phone. Of feeling like she was holding on to someone who was already halfway out the door. “Mark, are we okay?” The question came one night in the middle of his dorm room, after another canceled date and a cold dinner she’d brought him.

He didn’t answer right away. He just stared at the floor like the truth was too heavy to carry. “Yeah,” he said finally, voice thin. “Just… stressed.” That was his answer for everything lately.

Just stressed. Just tired. Just busy.

But she wasn’t stupid. He was slipping away. And she didn’t know how to make him stay. There was a time when Mark Lee would’ve fought tooth and nail for this relationship.

But now, every time Y/N reached for him—even if it was emotionally, or even physically—he flinched like this love was a burden.

And the thing was, she knew he still loved her. That was the worst part. It wasn’t apathy. It was something more twisted—like he loved her so much that the thought of dragging her down with him made him retreat even further.

He was unraveling. And he didn’t want her to see him like this. So he shut her out.

Mark sat in the dark at 1:27 am, lit only by the glow of his laptop screen, a blank Word doc staring back at him. He hadn’t turned in his last two assignments. Even Haechan had stopped asking if he was okay.

His phone buzzed, when he looked at it.. Y/N.

“Are you coming over tomorrow?”

He stared at the message. Typed a response. Deleted it. Typed it again.

“Yeah. I’ll try.”

It wasn’t a lie, not exactly. He wanted to. God, he wanted to. But the weight in his chest—the shame, the anxiety, the exhaustion—it always won. Y/N waited until Friday night.

She sat in her apartment, phone on the coffee table, the untouched pasta going cold. The TV played a sitcom laugh track that sounded way too loud in the silence.

But this time, she didn’t cry. She just… shut it off. She was tired of waiting for a version of him that maybe didn’t exist anymore.

When Mark finally showed up two days later, eyes bloodshot and hoodie too big for his frame, she opened the door without a word.

He looked like hell.

But she wasn’t going to be the one to say it.

“I forgot,” he said hoarsely.

She nodded. “I figured.”

He stepped inside, hesitating in her hallway like a guest in a place he once belonged.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

“For what?” she asked, leaning against the counter. “This time or all the others?”

Mark flinched. She didn’t mean to sound so bitter. But it was hard not to be when you felt like the only one who still cared.

“You know I love you, right?” he said after a long silence.

“Then why does it feel like I’m the only one fighting for us?”

His eyes dropped to the floor.

“I’m not trying to push you away,” he whispered. “I just… I don’t know who I am right now. Everything’s slipping. School. Sleep. Myself.”

“You think I don’t notice?” she snapped, voice cracking. “I see it, Mark. I feel it. But you won’t let me in. You keep shutting me out like I’m some stranger.”

“I’m scared,” he said. And the words felt like a confession. “Scared of dragging you down with me. Scared of being the reason you’re unhappy.”

“You already are,” she said softly. “But not for the reasons you think.”

He looked up, eyes watering. “Then why?”

“Because I miss you. And I’m still here. Waiting. Loving you through the silence. Through the distance. Through all of it. And it’s breaking me.”

They sat in silence after that. Not angry silence. Not cold.

Just… empty.

The kind that comes after too much has been said, and still, nothing’s really changed. That night, Mark layed on her couch while she curled up in her bed alone for the first time in months.

He stared at the ceiling, fists clenched, tears slipping quietly down his face. He wanted to fix it. He just didn’t know how.

And maybe that’s what made him the loser.

Not because he didn’t love her. But because he didn’t know how to hold on when life got hard. Because he thought pushing her away would protect her. Because he let her go even while she was still standing right in front of him, begging him to stay.

Two weeks later, she broke it off.

Not with a fight.

Not with yelling or blame.

Just a quiet, “I can’t do this anymore,” at their usual spot.

And he didn’t argue.

Because maybe… she deserved someone who knew how to stay.

And that someone wasn't him.

One year later

Mark passed by her on campus. She was laughing with someone—a guy he didn’t recognize.

She looked lighter. Happier. He looked away before she could see the ache still painted across his face. He had no right to miss her anymore.

But God, he still did.

But she wasn’t his to love now.

And he had no one to blame but himself.

Not because he never loved her.

But because he didn’t know how to love her right.

And that’s what made him the loser.

a/n: stream loser by mark guys

taglist: open

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[ninjatrashpanda]

Why I think Buck and Tommy will reconcile

So I just wrote this up as a response over on r/AO3 on Reddit, and I said "Fuck it, it's Tevanniversary today, let's spread it!"

So, below to cut is a little essay about my very positive stance on Buck and Tommy getting back together. I've seen a lot of doom and gloom around, and if you wants something positive, please, go ahead and read!

Warning though, I go into leaks and spoilers here!

8x11 is the reason I think they will get back together, mainly because of tropes, the question of "What would the point be?" and general BTS. Instant sorry for the essay 😬

So, point 1, Tropes and Writing Choices:

Let's start before 8x11, though. Buck and Tommy are broken up for four episodes before they hook up. Three of those episodes feature direct, hard Tommy mentions, all in the context of Buck yearning for him and starting to bake specifically to distract himself from thinking about him. The only one that doesn't is 8x09, but that episode still heavily digs into Buck's abandonment issues, which Tommy's departure amplified. Additionally, 8x10 has Buck straight up say that Tommy breaking up with him is when he feels his life started falling apart. 8x10 also has Buck give Eddie some cookies for on the way. He was baking again.

Now, onto 8x11. The episode starts with Buck being unable to properly unpack because, in his own words, if he does, it makes it real that Eddie and Chris are gone for good. Keep that in mind. Because of this, he shows up at Madney's house, with arms full of, you guessed it, baked goods.

Buck then tries to hang out with Ravi, who's annoyed af and throws Tommy at him. Tommy opens up and tells Buck that he was yearning just as much as he did. And that's when Buck shifts from awkward to initiating their hookup. The next day, Tommy makes it clear he wants to try again, and we already know Buck wants too, but before he can agree, Tommy puts his foot in his mouth by calling Eddie competition, and Buck puts his foot into his mouth by implying he doesn't have feelings for Tommy anymore, which we know is not true, but Tommy doesn't, because Buck has never actually said anything to that regard. So Tommy leaves.

When Buck goes to talk to Maddie about Tommy's insecurities, Buck gathers ingredients and utensils to bake. Again. During this conversation, he makes it clear that he wants to call Tommy. Not Eddie.

The episode then ends with Buck unpacking and making the house his. Which means that he made his peace with Eddie's departure. Something he still has not done with Tommy's. This episode has firmly put Buck and Tommy into Will They Won't They territory, and I don't know how familiar with sitcoms and rom-coms you are, but they usually Will.

Point 2: What would the Point be?

Tommy's role in 8x11 did not have to be filled by Tommy. It could've been any random guy (or gal, for that matter) Buck hooked up with to bring up Eddie and the Buddie situation. Going into leaks and spoilers for the rest of the season there is no need for Tommy to pilot the helicopter in the two-parter. In fact, there's no need for a helicopter in the two-parter at all. Tim could've just not written one in. Those things are expensive, he would've been better off choosing something else. Additionally, the funeral in presumably 8x16 for presumably Bobby features Tommy standing in line with the 118. Why? He doesn't work there anymore. Hasn't in almost ten years.

They also very distinctly tried to keep Lou's return a secret.

All of this to say: What is the point of bringing Tommy back for these things instead of just using extras, day players, etcetera, who would be once again, much cheaper? Why would they keep it a surprise instead of advertising it if it was only for a few one offs? To me, there's three potential answers, here in order of how likely I think they are:

BuckTommy reconciliation, either this season or next.

Tommy is built up to potentially get booted up to main next season. With Peter and Ryan potentially leaving/stepping down, and Gavin all but confirmed to, there's slots available, and Tommy has proven to be lucrative. No matter if it's love or hate, Tommy brings numbers.

Tommy is built up to potentially move to Nashville. Same reasoning as above, he's a character with a sizable number of fans and has proven to bring in numbers. While not as big as one of the mains, he could bring over some fans.

Point 3: General BTS/Leaks and Spoilers.

We know Tommy is in at least two more episodes (8x15 and whichever episode the funeral takes place in, presumably 8x16. He could also appear in 8x14, but that depends on how the plot goes.), potentially more. Again, none of these appearances are necessary in any way. Tommy's role in the two-parter could be given to a character of the week, his presence in the funeral when he doesn't work at the 118 is out of the ordinary anyway. All of this while Tommy and Buck's relationship is not at all resolved in either direction. The fact that he's here at all is sign enough that a reconciliation is at least on the table.

Also, and this one doesn't prove anything lol, but I thought it was interesting either way: In a recent interview, Tim Minear quite literally referred to Tommy as Buck's boyfriend. He also used 'ex' and 'bed buddy' in the same interview, so that he slipped into boyfriend is interesting. This one is absolutely tinfoil hat territory though, and I wouldn't read into it if it wasn't for everything else here lol.

So, uh, that's it. Keep in mind, the tropes used alone would have me convinced that they're getting back together, but the BTS and leaks are amplifying it. I currently stand 95-5 on whether it happens or not.

But also, even if they don't get back together, I won't care that much. I have fanfic. Tevan fandom thrived after the breakup, and we'll continue to thrive no matter what happens. I'm just observing the tropes I'm familiar with and drawing a conclusion based on it. And that conclusion is reconciliation.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

This thoughts still cooking, so it might not make sense, but I think Thomas (Tomas?) Astruc is a very good case study on how being too attached to your own ideas can hinder your story telling.

I don't mean this in a "Thomas's original idea for the series was bad", but rather that he seems so attached to this concept that he can't stand other people having a differing view from him.

Chloe's the titular example here. Some people thought she deserved a redemption arc, and instead of just saying "nah, I don't think so" and continuing to write her the same way he had been, he had to prove them wrong, prove that his idea was the only correct one, and so turned her into the spawn of Satan and let her rule over Paris for some reason.

Instead of making Marinette less stalker-y, he wrote an entire episode poorly justifying it. And, imao, somewhat diminishing what PTSD actually is and does to people.

I'm not saying he has to make any change (though I think making Marinette less stalker-y would be a good change), but instead of 1.) sticking to his resolve or 2.) taking the criticism, he clung dearly onto this perception of his characters and his writing suffered because of how much he had to twist things to "prove" that his original assertions were right. And also that everyone who disagreed with him was wrong and didn't understand

idk if that makes sense, but the concepts been lingering in my head recently

It makes perfect sense! I've had similar thoughts. It's hard to say for sure, but Miraculous may be a case study in "kill your darlings". I'm not deep into the behind-the-scenes lore and I was not here in the early fandom, but I do know that, at some point, a much darker version of the show was pitched. That's why these exist (image source):

[Image description: two sketches styled like comic book covers. Both have the title "The Mini Menace Ladybug". The left cover shows Marinette's silhouette in a doorway. The door's glass and the glass of a nearby window are broken. In the foreground lies a hand holding a ladybug charm. The hand is limp and surrounded by blood, implying that someone is injured or dead. The right cover is Ladybug doing a spinning kick while looking angry.]

We also have this evidence of the darker original concept:

Jeremy Zag then proposed another project... which he was unable to sell to broadcasters... the project was called "Ladybug". No one was interested, as the project was aimed more at an adult audience... Sébastien had to make sure that the project could be broadcast on Disney and TF1.... Thomas wanted to make a series for adults, but at the time, it was very complicated to make a cartoon for adults. What's more, they didn't have enough money to take on such a project. Sébastien finally agreed, but there were some changes to be made, which Thomas accepted... In the end, Thomas Astruc's entire project was discarded, leaving only the love story between the two heroes and the city of Paris, where the story was to take place.

I've been aware of this darker origin story for a while due to Tumblr and, because of this knowledge, I have often had the thought, "are the writers trying to sneak elements from this darker version into canon?" Because that's the most likely explanation for what's going on here.

If I'm right, then I think that was a terrible move on their parts. They needed to let go of the story that they couldn't sell and embrace the story that they're being allowed to tell. It's why "kill you darlings" is such good advice. Many good stories have been ruined by writers clinging to an idea that ultimately doesn't work for some reason.

It's why the sitcom How I Met Your Mother has such a universally hated ending. The show was originally supposed to go for two seasons and so they wrote an ending that would fit the second season. The show ended up running for nine seasons and, by then, the ending didn't fit, but the writers kept it and left everyone with a bad taste in their mouths, which is not what any writer wants. That's why you have to do what's best for the story even if it means abandoning something that you really love.

This early version of canon may also be why the writers are so obsessed with Marinette. My understanding is that this concept had her mainly acting as a solo hero and, oh look! What is one of canon's biggest problems? Marinette being treated like a solo hero even though she has a partner and, later on, a team!

Not saying that this theory has to be true, just saying that it would explain some things. And if they're poisoning canon by trying to include elements from their darker original? Then it makes sense to assume that they're also doing it for smaller stuff. Like I'm pretty sure I've read that the head writer wanted Chat Blanc to be a lot darker originally, but no one would green light it, so we got an incredibly lackluster episode that spat in the face of the genres Miraculous' is trying to be part of while also falling to have the sort of impact we'd expect from an episode like that. It's a good example of a darling that really should have been killed. It just doesn't fit.

(Totally unrelated sidenote, but is your blog name from Tangled? Because that's what I immediately thought of and it made me smile!)

[ask-the-clergy-bc]

I saw that your inbox was open and I just had to jump in for some more of your absolutely AMAZING writing! How about character(s) of your choice with a s/o who is completely unaccustomed to asking for help, even when they need it. Like could be just absolutely going THROUGH IT, and it doesn’t even occur to them to ask for help or support.

Reflecting after writing this, I think you were leaning more towards when reader is having a rough time. But I kept it to lighter tasks because I feel like the Papas would never let you go through something serious without checking on you. So consider helping you with smaller, not as serious issues a prelude to what would happen when something big DOES happen! To quote, “you will never walk alone.” :)

 

-              G/N Reader

-              Reader x Papa Romantic

-              Reader has different reasons for not asking for help.

-              Couple Bickering (not fighting. Think Sitcom banter).

Papas X Reader Who Doesn’t know how to ask for help

Papa Nihil: Nihil doesn’t like to interfere on the occasions you do struggle to get something done. He’s learned the hard way with strong willed partners that imposing help where it’s not wanted can end in disaster. But Nihil is not opposed to lending a hand, he just wants you to make it clear you NEED the help. However, when he does want to help he’s totally an old man about it. The type of partner that if you’re putting together furniture he will just stand there, watch you, and ask irritating questions. Asking what you are doing, how long you’ve been at it, and if you would like his help. If you say no, he will still stand around for a moment and just “ok.” Nihil will only really ask if you are visibly frustrated or about to give up. Reminding you that he really doesn’t mind lending you a hand (or getting a ghoul to do it for you.) Nihil knows you don’t like to ask, and just figures that eventually you will give in and admit it. Then he’s quickly by your side trying to find a solution to your problem! One of the main ways he does try to communicate with you is waiting until later when you are calmer. Nihil will tenderly remind you that you are allowed to say you need help. It’s his job as your partner to do so! 

Papa I: When you first became friends, Papa genuinely thought you were just stubborn. He tended to leave you to your own devices. Figuring that if you truly needed assistance, you would ask him. Not realizing in the beginning that you weren’t just independent. You just struggled to reach out. And you were VERY good at hiding it from everyone. Eventually he figured your issue out by the time you became a couple. The first big giveaway being when you couldn’t figure out a translation for one of your studies and you grew extremely quiet. Glancing his way multiple times as though debating yourself whether you should speak or not. Papa did not hesitate and went to your side. Asking if you would like his help. When you nodded that’s when he realized you had a tell. This is how it went for a while. Papa waiting for your non-verbal ques (glancing his way, fidgeting, sighing heavily) before he would offer. Eventually Papa felt comfortable in your relationship to sit you down and bluntly asked if you had difficulty with getting help. You weren’t expecting him to be so forward, but it was a relief to get off your chest and be honest!  That’s how you finally broke down to tell him that you had a lot of insecurity with getting assistance from others. You always felt like a burden and hated the idea of people getting annoyed at you if you were ‘too needy.’ Papa listened with much understanding and patience and assured you he would never say such cruel things to you. You have gotten a lot better about it, slowly but surely! 

Papa II: The two of you get along so well because you are both the same. You and Papa are so prideful that neither of you like asking for help. Even if it’s as something as simple as trying to open a jar of pickles; you’d both rather jump out of a window before admitting you couldn’t do it! “I’m fine” “I can do it!” and “Don’t worry about it” are apart of your daily conversations. But the funniest part is that sometimes you bicker over trying to help the other when they are clearly struggling to accomplish something. It’s not a fight, of course, but it’s very amusing to watch the two of you grump at each other over a non-issue. Once Papa noticed that you were having difficulty opening a package. It was one of those monster packages that felt like it was taped with cement strips. Papa heard you cursing to yourself as you ripped another piece of tape off. He asked if you would like help, to which you gave a pointed ‘no.’ You being far too invested to let others help, even as you threw another wad of tap on the ground. Papa watched you fight the monster box before he got close.

“Amore, if you do it like-“

“I got it!” You insisted. Struggling for another moment Papa grabbed the scissors,

“if you just let me-“

“noooooo! Get your own!”

“Stop being stubborn! Let me help!”

“No!” Cue you both light arguing before you finally let the man help you get the package open. Once it was open you gave a reluctant but curt ‘thanks’ as you happily opened your box. Papa felt so smug about it … until he refused to let you help do his cuff links the next day.

Papa III: Depending on how you see it, Papa can be annoyingly helpful when it comes to you. Never letting you struggle with any task big or small! He regularly goes out of his way to be romantic and, as he puts it, ‘take care of you.’ It’s just part of his personality that makes him want to be your Prince Charming and swoop in to save you! You never have to ask because Papa is ALWAYS finding a way to assist when you least expect it. You drop your books? He’s picking them up. You forget your lunch? Surprise food delivery! He’s even stopped in the middle of a work call to help you open a jammed filing cabinet; all without being asked! Whether you find this incredibly sweet or undermining and annoying is up to you. But just know it’s never to make you feel like a baby who is incapable of taking care of yourself. Papa tends to overcompensate in small ways in your relationship. It makes him feel more secure to be the partner that can always provide for you; be it with finances, emotional support, or assisting you in tasks. To him, when he sees you struggling of COURSE he’s going to take over and fix it! The way he sees it, you should NEVER have to ask for help in the first place! Which, thankfully, you already struggle with! It’s been an unblessing not having to fight with yourself to even consider asking for help. Occasionally you still must remind him that you also want to attempt to solve things on your own. To which you either get puppy dog eyes and a “are you sure, amore?” or just a nod and his careful watching you.  Other times you are happy to let him be the hero and give him a big kiss for his troubles.

Papa IV/Copia: He has noticed for a long time that you were reluctant to ask for help, he’s just not sure HOW to approach it. On one hand he loves being able to help and has no problem stopping to assist you. But on the other Copia is afraid you would be offended if he asked. He doesn’t enjoy letting you struggle, but he values your independence and capability. The last thing he wants is to be overbearing! What if he constantly tried to help you and you thought he was babying you just because of his rank? Classic Copia overthinking, honestly. Copia tends to hover around you, not realizing that you could use the help but don’t want to ask. You’ve always had an aversion to ask due to not wanting to bother people. It’s an anxious curse you’ve had for your whole life! You also didn’t want to keep Copia from his work. The man was already busy, you couldn’t just worry him in the middle of a workday! The ghouls find it very funny because you and Copia have a constant routine of you struggling with a task and him hovering and looking nervous. Neither of you dared break the awkwardness about it. Eventually Sodo couldn’t take it anymore and said what they were all thinking.

“(Your Name), would you just fucking ask for help already! Papa is practically about to explode!!”

As hilarious as it was, it made you both realize how silly your shared anxiety was!

[scoobysnakz]

part 2 of dbf miguel. so sorry this took so long, accidentally deleted the draft like twenty times.

The TV hums softly as a random sitcom you've not gotten the chance to see yet flickers across the screen. You know you should turn it off, it's distracting you from completing your essay, one you've been procrastinating about finishing, but the background noise is comforting enough to let you keep it on, even if you'll have to rewatch it all later.

“Need help with that?”

You jump at the sudden noise, pen now clattering on the floor and rolling dangerously close to the sofa. You look up at where the voice came from, only to be met with a freshly shaven Miguel.

Embarrassment burns the back of your neck as you shift on the plush cushion of the sofa. The only thing covering the crinkled page of your otherwise barren notebook is an array of flowers around the margin and random notes scribbled out in heavy, blotchy lines.

“Am fine,” you smile, fingers spreading out to hide your work, or lack of.

Miguel just scoffs at you before pushing your hand away. “Such detailed notes,” he chides.

“It's meant to be an essay, but thanks anyway.”

You hear him stifle a laugh that you pray is sympathetic and not as amused as it sounds. It's shameful how far behind you are on your schoolwork when you have someone peering over your shoulder.

You aren't quite sure why you're so pent up on impressing Miguel, a man who is staying at his friend's house for some unbeknownst reason.

He sits down on the sofa next to you, a respectful distance but you can still smell his overbearing cologne and hair gel fusion. The sofa sinks slightly at his weight, a low creak eminating through the room.

He laughs, “let me help.”

Irritation bubbles deep in your stomach but you try to push it away, ignore it and keep going with the conversation. But when he acts so casual, even though he's stolen your bedroom, your only haven in this monstrosity of a household, you can’t help but feel annoyed with him.

“I doubt it,” you quip with an air of ignorance, fingers drumming erratically on the inky pages, “this is biology, aren't you like a chemist or something?”

A smirk curls at the corner of his lips at your sudden attitude, but he doesn't comment on it, leaving your opinion of him more distasteful than ever. “Well my degree says organic chemistry and molecular biology, so you're both wrong and right.”

“Mmm, so either, you're loaded, or up to your neck in debt.” you don't even try to hide the snark in your voice, “considering the fact that you’re staying here, I'm guessing student loan got the better of you.”

He scoffs at you, hand clasped to his chest in feigned hurt. “I'll have you know, I have a well-paying job, thank you very much.”

You flip your notebook shut, a small sense of relief washing over you now that disgrace of an essay is hidden, and shift to face him. “Then why are you here?”

He swallows, hard, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. His gaze flickers between your face and the wall behind you, discomfort colouring his expression. The atmosphere of the room shifts entirely, and suddenly you feel guilty for hating him. Maybe he didn't mean to take your room, not on purpose anyway.

“I lost my house, not… not because of money or anything,” he pauses, plush lips pursed into a tight grimace before he continues, “didn't get a very good divorce lawyer.”

“I'm… sorry?” you've never been good at sympathy, always pushed the hard topic of emotions onto someone else so you can focus on something you're actually good at. But now, some weird part of you wants to comfort him.

“Hmm?” he looks back at your eyes, your breath catching in your throat, “Not your fault, querida, I was a silly man who did silly things. I made a mistake and lost the love of my life.”

“Don't say that.” you hate the way your voice softens. You want to keep this burning resentment for Miguel, loathe him for all eternity, it might seem petty but he deserves it. Yet, you want to pull him close, tell him to stop being so hard on himself and run your fingers through his hair until his jaw unclenches.

He shakes his head, casually, as if it was never that important.

“I couldn't stay faithful and I paid the price, she has everything she deserves leaving me with… nothing.”

An awkward silence fills the room. You don't know what to say to that other than, I take back my kindness and spit in your face for cheating on your wife.

“She was amazing, so full of life, and then one day… we just stopped clicking,” he leans back against the sofa, head craning back so that he's forced to stare at the yellowing ceiling, “it wasn't a spur of the moment, because I got bored thing. We had stopped loving each other, she had anyway.”

You reach out, your fingers brushing against his much more calloused, harsh ones causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end. You give his hand a gentle squeeze that lasts a little longer than intended, but the sweetness of the action doesn't go unnoticed.

The upbeat theme tune from the TV suddenly blares out from the speakers causing the two of you to startle. Your fingers tighten around his on instinct but you immediately pull your hand away.

Miguel chuckles a low, mellow sound that makes your ears perk up. “Sat on the remote,” he says, pulling it from under his thigh.

“Scared the shit out of me, Migs- Miguel,” you breathe heavily.

He nods, smiling uneasily, praying that the hammering of his heart is from the sudden shock and not from the kindness you displayed. But deep down, he knows the truth.

prev <

[calware]

would you ever share a list of your fave fics to reread ? Id love to hear your recommendations and faves

sure thing :) i'm only going to list works that have been going on for a while (or at least have gotten past the very beginning of the story) and that i've read all the way through. i'm also not going to list any of the super iconic fics i like because this list is already pretty long. these are all based on stuff that i personally find more interesting to read about, mostly focused on the human characters and not a lot of romance

i don't really know if these first two count but they're too good to not include:

Jade Route by spicyyeti

a post-epilogues comic centering around jade, this is my favorite homestuck fanwork. i especially love the artwork and the way it frames the story. it is reaaallllly hard to read it on a phone so make sure to read it on a computer or tablet

House of Dirk by imarriedacherub no rating - graphic depictions of violence - 13,570 words - 20 chapters (unfinished) A sitcom about completely normal and well-adjusted newlyweds Dirk and Caliborn attempting to make a good impression on their son, Dave, and his boyfriend, Karkat.

another comic, this one hosted on both ao3 and mspfa (though the ao3 version has more pages). i like how ridiculous it is. will probably never be finished, sadly

moving on to the actual fics:

Reallocated by breezefulskies mature - chose not to use archive warnings - 324,756 words - 65 chapters (unfinished) Hal finds himself stranded aboard a certain meteor, impact-bound for Houston, Texas circa 1995. And everything spirals out from there. Because sometimes, when a system seems to be just short of defunct, all that is required is to take a step back and reevaluate the materials at hand and redistribute your available resources. And so, with birth comes a countdown on a cycle that begins as it ends: In the red.

hal is mysteriously sent to earth via unknown means and finds himself raising a baby as best as he can, which, given that he's glasses, is not easy. this is my favorite homestuck fic, not just because it's about hal, but also because i love the focus on family dynamics and the plot as it unfolds. begging everyone to read this, i can't say what happens exactly without spoiling things, it's just really really good. at the moment, it updates once a month

Ersatz Abyss by katreal mature - no archive warnings apply - 120,092 words - 39 chapters (unfinished) You look into the mirror to find your own face looking back at you. You laugh. And then you cry. Last, you try and figure out how you got to this moment. The Auto-Responder had long since resigned himself to an artificial existence, his only dwindling hope for escape hinging on a promise that has yet to be fulfilled. Then one day he wakes up, Dirk nowhere to be found. What's the point in getting what you want, if you can't show off a little?

another great hal fic. i managed to get my roommate (who has not read homestuck) to read this and they really enjoyed it, so i'm sure you all won't have any problems liking this one either. there are a lot of fics out there of hal getting a body, but this one is very different in that it's not the happy ending that you might first think it is. this fic perfects the feeling of everything snowballing into a bigger and bigger problem until it all falls apart

Falling for the First Time by nobrandhero teen - no warnings apply - 63,818 words - 11/17 chapters The game is over, Alpha Earth resets to 2009, and Dirk's bro doesn't live up to expectations. The movie director who appears so chill and stoic in interviews is actually a talkative, needy dweeb like his teenage counterpart. It's not a bad thing, as far as Dirk's concerned.

for whatever reason, i'm a sucker for fics where the characters somehow end up on earth again post-game, and out of all the fics that follow that concept this one is my favorite. sadly, this one barely touches on jane and jake, but it's pretty interesting to read about what dirk and roxy are getting up to with their guardians (and the earth) restored to their previous conditions

The Haunted Harley House by hemoanarchists teen - chose not to use archive warnings - 78,462 words - 23 chapters (finished) There is an old house you built a long long time ago, alongside someone very close to you. Now as you don a new name, slipping back into society to care for a descendant, to whom tragedy has left you as her only family left, you take her to the house, the house that bears your family name. You really shouldn't have been surprised when he came to join you. It is his house too, after all.

carlah, a young girl who lives on earth c, has just been taken in by her uncle "jacob harley" after her mother's death. as time goes on, she slowly learns more about the true nature of her new guardians and the house they all live in. normally i'm not that interested in OCs but i love how intriguing carlah is as an outsider of the story. it's really easy to get invested in her as she uncovers a mystery we all know from the beginning and another that we have to learn along with her. shoutout to dysfunctional family dynamics

actually, while i'm at it, i'm going to recommend a bunch of other stuff he's written:

Atlantis Bound teen - chose not to use archive warnings - 33,263 words - 8 chapters (unfinished) Dirk tracks down an old friend

prequel to the haunted harley house but can also be read after (or separately). i really like the dynamic between dirk and vriska here, and i also love the way vriska's repeated reincarnation is utilized. vriska's journey through the newest iteration of her life while dirk watches over her is soooo captivating, especially when snippets of her previous lives are sprinkled in throughout. do you guys love cycles? personally i love cycles

Cherubian mature - chose not to use archive warnings - 54,011 words - 29 chapters (unfinished) The 5000 year time skip never happened, at the dawn of time the gods desperately try to guide the planet into a better future. But with tensions rising it feels like one bad day could bring everything crumbling down.

all of dante's earth-c god fics as a whole changed my brain chemistry and this acts as the beginning (and catalyst) of that overarching story. a lot happens in a very short amount of time

Transitional teen - no warnings apply - 1,860 words - oneshot a simple question what changed when you went godtier?

super simple but also an interesting exploration of the headcanon that players' bodies change when they go godtier. the twist is that each "change" is unique to each character and relates to their Self in some way

Monster under the bed teen - chose not to use archive warnings - 2,573 words - oneshot Skeletons in the Closet mature - chose not to use archive warnings - 2,910 words - oneshot Small Talk teen - no warnings apply - 8,944 words - 6 chapters (unfinished)

putting all three of these together because i believe(?) they're all part of the same narrative

[arinotarianagrande]

Self-destruct, show up like an idiot

Pairing: princeton!Andrei IosivasxBlack!Singer/ActressReader

Summary: Y/n and Andrei are fwb. While the arrangement isn’t as casual as Y/n thinks, Andrei makes it clear that it isn’t that casual and is unsure where she stand. Y/n has trauma from ex who was really toxic so she pushes Andrei away.

Word Count: 1201

Warnings: Swearing, drinking, some angst??

A/N: This is my first time writing so plssss leave some constructive criticism but don’t be rude lol. you will be blocked. Also this will be a piece in my fanfic that will be posted on Wattpad called “SOS”. It’s not posted rn but I will lyk when it will be. My @ is arinotarianagrande

I’m lying on the couch, scrolling aimlessly through my phone, bored out of my mind

“Let’s see… who’s up right now?” I mutter, scrolling through contacts.

“Vicky? Nah, she’s knocked out by now. My mom is sleep… Drei ? maybe… ?”

I tap his name and hit the Facetime icon. After a few rings, the call connects and he appears on screen. He’s lying down on his couch with a hoodie on and the hood up. No way he should be as cute as he is this late at night.

“Andreiiii,” I say grinning, sitting up straighter.

“Hey babygirl,” he says smiling slightly, his voice low and warm.

“How are you ?”

“I’m good babe. What about you? ”

“Bored as hellll,” I say exaggerating just enough to make him chuckle.

“you only call me when you’re bored?” he says raising an eyebrow.

“Bro, don’t do that. You know it’s not like that,” I say rolling my eyes.

“mhmmm” he hums. “just messing with you. I like hearing from you either way” He says smirking.

“come over,”

“right now ?”

“yeah”

“it’s like… almost 1 a.m”

“and ?”

He lets out a short laugh. “you lucky I like your cute ass. i’ll be there in 20,”

“okay, byeeee”

“bye babygirl,”

I hang up and toss my phone somewhere on the couch. I turn on a random sitcom to pass the time. Twenty minutes later, I hear the doorbell. I get up and open the door to see Andrei standing there with his usual hoodie and sweats.

“Hey babygirl” He says pulling me into a hug.

“Hey Drei,” I say hugging him back before stepping aside to let him in. He takes off his shoes at the door and makes himself comfortable on the couch like always. I sit next to him, curling up my legs tucked under me.

“Seinfeld? Really?” He asks, glancing at the tv with a raised brow.

“The shit was already on and i didn’t feel like changing it. Wine ?”

“mmm sure”

I head to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of red wine and two wine glasses. I bring them back to the couch and pour both of us a glass and i hand him his before taking a sip of my own.

“Soooo, how was your day ?” I ask casually.

“Same as always, practice, more practice. no classes since it’s spring break but nothing exciting. what about you ?”

“oh, just the usual. studio drama, too many emails. pretending to care about projects i don’t want to do,” I say taking another sip of wine.

Andrei smirks. “Sounds like Hollywood’s doing you nice,”

I snort and roll my eyes. “Yeah,”

The room goes quiet, the sitcom’s laugh track filling the space. I glance over at him, watching as he swirls the wine in the glass.

“You know, you’ve been… reliable,” I say taking a sip of my wine.

“What in the hell does that mean ?”

“you’re always showing up. Always making time,”

“and that’s a problem ?”

“No, just hard for me to you know, trust it,”

He frowns.

“What?”

I hesitate for a moment.

“not really used to it,”

“Because of him,”

I freeze.

“Why’d you bring that up?”

He sighs “I’m not him.”

“I know that”

“do you ? If you did, you wouldn’t keep me at arm’s length every time I try to get close. You wouldn’t keep acting like I’m waiting for you to open up so i can hurt you,” He says putting his glass down, turning to me.

“I’m not-“

“But you are though. I get it. He broke you, made you question yourself. But I’m not finna sit here and keep letting you use him as a reason to doubt me. I’m not him, so stop punishing me for what he did” He says sighing.

“i’m not trying to punish you”

“Maybe not on purpose but you are. I’m telling you right now, I’m not going anywhere. but I need you to meet me halfway Y/n, I can’t do this by myself.”

I nod slowly while blinking back tears.

“I just don’t know how to let people in. He ruined me.” I say sniffling.

“You start by trusting me. Not him. Not your past. Me. You can’t keep pushing me away every time it gets real. I’m not asking you to let go of everything right this second, but you can’t keep using him as a reason to keep pushing me away. you’ve been stuck on this for too damn long. I’m not going to sit here while you let it ruin what we have.” He says, his voice is low but firm. There’s not any anger or anything harmful but he makes it clear this is something that’s nonnegotiable.

“I’m not going to be a backup plan while you figure out if you want to let me in or not. If you’re not ready to trust me, then be honest but stop treating me like i’m just gonna wait around while you fight your demons. I’m serious Y/n. Let it go.”

Usually I would have a rebuttal but right now, I don’t. He’s not yelling but he’s leaving no room for rebuttals or excuses.

“I’m not here to fix you,” he says, his voice softer but still firm. “But i am here for you. I’m not going anywhere but I’m also not going to keep chasing someone who won’t meet me halfway. I need you to lock in and get it together. Stop hiding behind what happened. It’s not a reason to push me away. It’s fucked. Truly.”

His words kinda stings because it’s true.

“I’m here when you’re ready to move forward. I’m not going to chase you but i’m also not leaving you behind. You’ve got some choices to make.”

I look up at him, finally making eye contact, feeling the pressure of his words. It has a strange comfort in them. He’s not demanding I move on, he’s offering me a choice. One that feels not rushed.

“I just don’t wanna fuck this up”

“Then stop letting it. You’re not alone in this but I can’t keep playing the waiting game.”

I nod. The weight of his words are hitting me hard but it’s all so true. I feel tears well up in my eyes before I can stop them. Andrei expression softens.

“You don’t have to do this all at once. But you’re not alone babygirl. Not with me. We will figure it out together just meet me halfway. that’s all. that’s all i want.” He says hugging me.

“You don’t have to do this all at once,” he says, his voice much softer now, full of care. “But you’re not alone, Y/n. Not with me. You don’t have to carry all this weight by yourself anymore. We’ll figure it out, together.”

“I’m here baby. I’m not going anywhere,”

I nod against his chest.

“Thank you” Sniffles.

“Anytime baby. But you have to meet me there. You have to let go. And when you’re ready, i’ll be there,” He say pulling away slightly to look at me. I nod.

“c’mere” he rasps. He grabs my chin and kisses me slowly. This kiss felt different from all the others. Not really lustful as usual.

“I will. I’ll try.”

“That’s all i wanted.”

[ilikekidsshows]

about 'Derision' , it's the episode that I can't understand. But what's makes it bad was the fact its part of s5. Maybe... If, say, it happened in s1 I think it would be much better episode because s1 Chloe can be nasty, like what happened in Dark Cupid and Kim is still a 'delinquent' kid as shown in Stone Heart where he bully Ivan. But also make it so Marinette not easily shut Chloe up and don't make her be friends with Kim in Origin episode because of her trauma.

Because the weird thing about Derision is the fact it showed us Chloe and Kim is such a nasty character that caused Marinette trauma yet she seems fine to talk to them in Origin, and in Kim case, she even want to help him and talk to him like she talk to her friends.

I know s4 and s5 is a product of retool, it's even obvious in Derision because the math just not mathing there. At least when they want to retcon something make it so it won't be dissociated much from the older episode!

Derision should show us why Marinette is reluctant to be friends with Kim and make her hard to trust Chloe but instead it's the episode about 'why she's so tongue tied around Adrien who's actually has nothing to do with the bullying that happened before but get the burn out of it'

---

‘Derision’ really is such an utter mess of an episode. Chloé and Kim were created as archetypes. Chloé was the McKenzie clone, I mean, mean girl bully archetype, and Kim was the jock archetype. But they hadn’t really put any thought into the pasts of these characters, because middle school drama shows usually only go into backgrounds when it’s to explain a new inclusion into the cast, like they did with Socqueline. The reason ‘Derision’ doesn’t work with the rest of the show is that it wasn’t thought out at all.

There is one thing that makes sense with the episode, though. I can see why it was made, and it’s all part of the show’s new priority of excusing any criticized writing decisions. Yeah, the episode explains the current arc of why Marinette can’t be as close with Adrien as she wants to in order to keep milking the love square for plots that don’t require the writers to actually change anything or develop characters, but it’s also there to counter the “stalker allegations”.

Marinette’s stalking of Adrien has always been as much of a hot button topic in the fandom as Cat Noir’s constant flirting. How seriously and realistically are we supposed to take it, how much of it is just exaggeration for light-hearted appeal and how much these behaviors should be frowned upon in-universe were always questions that were kind of up to fan interpretation since the show didn’t commit to any specific angle on them. So, in the season where Cat Nor apologizes for being in love with Ladybug and easily falls out of love with her afterwards, we also have Marinette go through a traumatizing experience that makes her obsessed with knowing everything about any boy she likes (ignore how this behavior is only directed at Adrien when she’s had several other crushes she was fine about).

‘Derision’ couldn’t exist before the retool, because the writers weren’t trying to backtalk parts of the fandom before the retool. And that’s what ‘Derision’ is, backtalk. It has the characters saying stuff that is obviously aimed at the audience just as much as ‘Simpleman’, yet ‘Derision’ is less hated because it’s angsty, dramatic and Marinette stans gobbled up the excuses, because they live for excusing their fave.

‘Derision’ really proves that the writers care very little about things other than Marinette and vindicating Marinette. Chloé is never this much of a menace again, not even in ‘Miracle Queen’ or ‘Queen Mayor’. Chloé is a sitcom-level threat that the show outgrew in the second season, yet ‘Derision’ is trying to convince the audience that she’s secretly always been a villainous mastermind who no one has ever dared to talk back to, who everyone’s scared of, who got rid of Marinette’s only defender, and that the characters are aware of this. Chloé goes completely undefeated in the past story of ‘Derision’, yet, all it takes for Marinette to completely defang the great evil that is Chloé for the rest of the show is Alya saying: “You need to stand up for yourself” and then standing up to Chloé once, in ‘Origins’, the original chronological starting point of the show. Except we are still supposed to consider her a big, active threat to Marinette and cheer when her neglectful dad sends her to live with her abusive mom.

Also, what they did to Kim with ‘Derision’ is character assassination. Full stop. The episode had Adrien almost Cataclysm him and it was treated as a cool moment because we’re meant to hate him for what he did to Marinette and cheer when Adrien is willing to kill someone for hurting her. And yet, despite his crime supposedly being this bad, Marinette treats him as a friend and teammate throughout the series and Kim gets easily forgiven at the end of the episode. This is another one for the pile of episodes where the Miraculous crew can’t keep their story consistent through even a single episode. In one moment we’re meant to want Kim dead and soon after we’re meant to cheer when he and his girlfriend make up, all because he said “sorry” to Marinette one time.

This episode wouldn’t even have worked as a season one episode, that’s how inconsistent it is with even the most basic ideas presented in the show.

[yellowocaballero]

absolutely adore all of the ncau and very excited for the rewrite (like legit i enjoy rereading it every couple of months and there are somany banger lines/scenes and cathartic moments and hot damn you write the clones so well and make genuinely amazing scenarios and asshole characters that are fun to love. your fox is one of my favorite characters in general.) but, what character is your favorite to write?

I AM TRYING SO HARD TO GET THE REWRITE OUT I AM TRYING SO HARD I AM TRYING SO HARD

I NEED TO TRY LESS HARD BECAUSE I STRESSED MYSELF OUT ABOUT IT SO MUCH THAT I WROTE A BOBA POV JUST IN SELF-DEFENSE AND

I love all of them. All the POVs are fun. Bly is really stand-out, because he breaks a lot of the rules of writing clones. Both he and Fox are very fun because they're so decidedly abnormal people, but Bly's maximalism and Fox's minimalism are both fun in opposite directions. Mace was really refreshing to write because he's a mature adult, but Depa was based off the AP honors student girls in high school and it was fun adapting that and showcasing a love for characters who don't get as much love. Neyo is fun because he's somehow very normal despite only doing batshit things. Boba is a lot of fun because he's so innocent and cute and yet somehow so demented. Omega is so much fun too, she's so genius and so baby.

Rex's POV wasn't fun to write because it was so unpleasant, but that was its own fun. Similarly, Obi-Wan's POV isn't fun to write because every sentence has a background depressing irony to it, but that's fun in its own way. The POV who is straight up unpleasant to write is Ben. Ben is miserable to write. This is because Ben is a fucking miserable person. He is miserable and mean. I can't even complain, I did this to him, I feel like a neglectful mother.

Thirty is obviously incredibly fun (space communist), as is Blanche (space jpoppie). Everyone's good there's a reason I wrote so much of this.

Every day is a struggle so here is some of the all-new Boba POV story under the cut. I have already written a story with a low-key running thread/joke/theme of Omega being the galaxy's first transgender cisgender person, and it was such an entertaining/interesting idea that I always wanted to do more with it. So for this story I was like Oh Boy It Would Be A Good Idea To Talk About How Queer Children Are Targeted By Fascism!!!! [metaphorical transphobic violence under the cut]

Boba could hear the sobbing from the other side of the door. It was an unfamiliar sound, and when he palmed the door open he was surprised to find a grim Kote already raising his hand to knock. His other hand was on Omega’s shoulder. Omega, who was sobbing hysterically. 

It took a ridiculous second to even recognize her. Omega’s thick and wavy hair was a ridiculously distinctive trait: not only dark blonde, but long enough to reach the nape of her neck. She had been growing it out ever since she saw a mother on a holo sitcom with long hair down to her waist, and she was very proud of it. Almost every inch of it was gone. 

Her hair had been sheared down to near regulation length, tufted and patchy. Parts of her head were almost bald, and other parts were long enough to awkwardly curl. It seemed as if a razor had attacked it from several awkward angles, uneven and careless. Boba had never seen Omega cry so hard. 

Kote gently pushed her inside, leaving Boba to take her and frantically pat her on the back. “Four Batch 1s cornered her in the fresher. Held her down and tried shaving it all off. I chased them off before they could finish. Can you report this to Prime? I have to get back to class.”

Dumbly, Boba said, “Did you beat up four Batch 1s by yourself?” The Batch 1s were almost at apex maturity, and Kote was still a teenager.

Kote just sneered. “They needed four people to attack one little kid. Of course they weren’t tough. Cowards never are.” Kote clapped a hand on Omega’s back, and Boba squeezed her in a tight hug. “Don’t let them see you cry, Omega. I have to go.”

Kote left as quickly as he came. He really must have been running late for class. Boba was left with an armful of an Omega crying so hard that she could barely breathe, and it took several minutes of rubbing her back before he could even get the story out of her. 

“They said that they were fixing my defect.” Boba had sat her on the couch and dumped all of his childhood stuffed animals on her lap. She was throttling that ancient fish plushie from Boba’s toddlerhood. It was missing a stone eye, but Omega didn’t seem to notice. “That I was embarrassing all of us with my shameful hair. And - and I said that I didn’t have to wear it regulation, but they didn’t care! They told me that I needed to learn my place, that a real clone wouldn’t brag about being defective, that - that - !”

Boba patted Omega on the arm as supportively as he could. “Did you fight back well?”

“How was I supposed to!” Omega cried. “They’re so big and I’m just a kid! It’s not fair! All I could do was bite them!”

“That’s not nothing,” Boba said encouragingly. “At least you didn’t embarrass yourself.”

Then Omega was wailing again, and Boba was left desperately messaging Dad before doing his own triage by hugging her and patting her on the back. None of it seemed to help. 

It felt like forever before Dad finally came home. He looked a little as if Boba had interrupted him in the middle of something important, but he was always doing something important so it was whatever. Boba had given him advance warning, but Dad was still visibly freaked out to see Omega crying. At least her sobbing had died down a little: she was just hiccuping and hitching wet breaths, occasionally taking a sip of water from the cup that Boba shoved at her. 

Dad walked in, looking Omega up and down. Omega visibly redoubled her efforts to stop crying. “That’s weird to see. You look like Rex now.”

“Rex is a boy!” Omega yelled, before breaking out into fresh tears. How much water could one clone have in their body?!

But Dad just sighed. He walked over and crouched in front of Omega, waiting for her to compose herself again. The full focus of Dad’s attention on her seemed to jolt her out of her renewed hysterics, and Dad waited until she calmed down again before he spoke. 

“What did you expect?” Dad said simply. Omega’s face fell tragically. “Stop crying. You accepted the risk of this happening when you chose to be different. You know full well how favorably your brothers look at clones who are different. Dented beskar gets hammered back into place, Omega.”

“I didn’t choose to be different!” Omega insisted. “I am different! Why should I pretend I’m not?”

“So you don’t get attacked in the fresher. So the other clones don’t ostracize and mock you. There’s a reason why Rex shaves his head. You get to do some of what you want, but you can’t do anything about its repercussions.”

“Galaxy’s not fair,” Boba said sympathetically. Dad said that all the time. Everyone in the room knew it. Maybe Omega knew it better than anyone. 

Omega’s jaw clenched, and for the first time she looked angry instead of heartbroken. Dad met her gaze evenly. “They’re punishing me for being a girl. I’m not ‘flaunting a defect’. I’m being me. I’m not like them. I’m not breaking any rules, so they don’t have the right to make me like them.”

“They don’t,” Dad said. “But that didn’t stop them, did it?”

“You could stop them, Dad,” Boba said eagerly. Maybe Omega was powerless, maybe the younger kids just had to put up with the older kids bullying them just because the older kids were stronger and higher ranking - but Dad was above all of that. Dad had the power to make anything happen. “Can’t you tell the clones to back off and let Omega be a girl?”

“I could,” Dad said. Boba brightened immediately, but Omega didn’t. She already knew how he would finish the sentence. “But I won’t. Orders from on high won’t change their minds or make them accept her. They’d just find other ways to put her back into place. You’ll just have to roll with these punches, kid.”

“I wish I was dead,” Omega said. It startled Boba way too much. He’d never heard anyone say that before. “I want to be dead.”

In that moment, Boba had to agree with Dad. If acting like a girl was making Omega so miserable, why couldn’t she act like a boy? Boba knew that Omega was happiest when she was doing girly things, but surely the pain of four boys attacking her in the fresher outweighed any happiness that the girly stuff brought. It seemed like a choice between a medium amount of misery and a lot of misery. Only one option made sense. But it wasn’t the option Omega chose. 

For the first time, Dad looked a little sad. He straightened, taking Omega’s hand and gently pulling her off the couch. “Let’s tidy this up. I’ll get my razor.” Omega looked up at him, question clear, and Dad shook his head. “We’ll have to shave the rest. Plenty of you keep it at that length. You should join them.”

“I can’t,” Omega muttered. She looked away, expression screwing up. “You think I haven’t tried…?”

Boba hovered near the doorframe of the fresher, watching Dad sit Omega on the toilet and tuck a cloth around her neck. Boba offered Omega ‘her’ stuffed Tooka - it was Boba’s, but he had munificently given her technical ownership of it - and she clutched it tightly as Dad spoke to her in a low voice. 

Boba wanted to know what he was saying, but he had the strange sense that it wasn’t for him. 

[sorrel-leaf-vespers]

Good [timezone] DoaI Sitcom AU Tumblr, have some Simon (recommend you read this post beforehand if you want context!

Alex had found a way to climb up to the roof of the house near the barn. They had been sitting up there all night, using the moonlight to try to jot down their asylum-raid plan. Clyde was getting more restless by the day, worried sick about Winfrey. Alex knew they had to get Winfrey out of the asylum soon. It might have been the only way to keep Clyde from charging headfirst into a fight they might not have been able to win. Alex didn’t doubt its abilities, but one Veldigun against countless caretakers was a fight they didn’t want to risk. 

There was also the issue of Alex’s Veldigun sickness. They had noticed their fingers had started developing stripes similar to those on Clyde, Simon, and Flock. They had started having some back pain, maybe from where spines would start to grow in. They were starting to get more energetic at night and lethargic during the day. Other than that, there had been no negative side effects, miraculously. They had already discussed things with the other three- er, two, since it wasn't like the Flock could contribute much to the discussions. It was an oddity. The working theory was that Alex’s prolonged exposure to Clyde had made them immune to the side effects. There was no way to prove it, but it was enough of an explanation for Alex.

“What are you doing?” someone asked.

Alex turned around. Simon was climbing onto the roof. “Oh. Hi, Simon. I’m working on the breakout plan.”

Simon looked over Alex’s shoulder at the notebook. “Mm. I see.”

“Are you still sure you don’t want to come?”

“Even if they are caretakers, I don’t want to risk hurting a human.”

Alex nodded. “You know, I don’t know too much about you, despite the fact that I’ve been in your barn for a while. What’s your story?”

“My… story?” Simon chuckled nervously. “Well, what do you want to know?”

“Mostly about you. Why do you wear the costume?”

Simon stared at Alex for a few moments, then sighed and sat down next to them. “Well… you know what Veldigun look like. Most humans find them intimidating. Terrifying. The costume makes me more approachable. I can hide in plain sight. There are a few more... personal reasons... but it’s how I’ve been able to learn so much about humans.”

“Why do you want to study them?”

“The same reason you want to study Veldigun. They’re a fascinating species, and I want to learn all I can about them in order to understand and coexist with them. I’m vehemently against harming them, as you know.”

“Why is that?”

Simon went silent. “... I regret doing so.”

“You what?”

“There’s a question I’ve been dodging since we met. I…” Simon heaved a sigh. “Hell. You remember when Clyde called me a hypocrite?”

Alex nodded.

“It sees me as such because I did originally target humans. In my earlier days, I was wandering through these woods, starving and alone. I came across this house and this barn. I thought maybe I could use this place for shelter. It was the middle of the night, so I felt safe. I snuck into the house and started exploring. I went upstairs, and I found…” Simon’s posture shifted, making him appear much smaller. “There was a young boy in one of the bedrooms. I was young and inexperienced, and naive and foolish as all Hell, and… God, this is going to be hard for me to say…”

“You killed him?”

Simon nodded. “I didn’t fully understand the consequences of my actions back then. I was starving, and I just… without a second thought, he was gone. In the next room, I found his parents, and… they suffered the same fate.” Simon wrapped his arms around himself. “I was content for a bit, but then I got to delve into their minds, as you can figure. What I discovered about them was not what I expected. These were unique creatures, with complex lives and fascinating experiences. They were curious, perceptive, intuitive. They were… a lot like us. Like Veldigun. I immediately began to regret what I had done. I saw that humans needed to be protected. I swore off hurting any more. That’s also why I decided to settle on this farm. So their minds can remain here for as long as I can allow.”

Alex didn’t say anything. What could they even say? Simon very clearly regretted what he had done, treating it like a genuine mistake. He clearly loved humans. “So is that why Clyde called you a hypocrite and treats you like a rival?”

Simon was silent for a few moments, then nodded. “It sees humans as nothing but a food source. Though, with you entering the picture, I wonder if its perception has changed. If there’s one thing that Clyde is motivated by, it’s food. Maybe giving it a pre-prepared meal and a source of shelter got you on its good side. That is what you wanted, no?” Simon chuckled a little. “I am the protector of humanity, and Clyde is its adversary. I’ve accepted it at this point.”

“What about Winfrey? Clyde has refused to talk about them in detail, but Winfrey seems to be a pretty big motivator.”

“Winfrey?” Simon glanced around at the surroundings. “I feel bad talking about Clyde behind its back, but… yes, I suppose that Winfrey would also be a big motivator for Clyde to take action.”

“Are they close?”

“You could say that. They’re… I suppose there’s no other way to say it. They’re romantically involved.”

Alex almost fell off the roof. “They’re WHAT?”

“Yes. Winfrey is the most important person in the world to Clyde. No doubt if it didn’t have you to restrain it, it would have raided the Asylum already. And to be honest, I think we should stop the discussion there. If Clyde doesn’t want to talk about it, it may not appreciate me disclosing this information.” Simon paused. “Although, as much as Clyde and I may bicker, thank you for keeping it safe.”

“It’s no problem.” Alex turned back to their notebook. The stakes had just been raised.

Simon stood up and stretched inside his costume. “The sun is coming up. I think I’ll go wrangle the Flock and get it inside to sleep.”

“Seeya.”

“I’ll report back soon.”

Simon slid off the roof and down into the house. Alex leaned back. Wow. What an evening full of discoveries that made this mission even more important.

[thattimdrakeguy]

What Happens When You Only USED To Care

I find it extremely hard to take any person in the fandom that does that schtick where they make fun of Tim based on made up or overly exaggerated stuff seriously.

I can't even find it within myself to give them the power of my hate, because it's more like a fly near your ear. You swat em away and bye bye bye.

Maybe it's because I know so much about how DC ended up being, that I can tell when they're bullshitting and saying stuff others put in their ear.

I mean you take a kid's favorite toy, and add modifications and paint jobs that take away the whole point of the toy, the kid's aren't going to want to play with it anymore.

Am I expected to blame the toy itself?

Especially with how the fandom has bastardized these characters that they so clearly love, but they still constantly get cancelled.

And I won't make mention of who, because someone will get sensitive, and plus then say "WELL TIM DID TOO" showing they're completely missing my point and didn't read the whole post.

I'm not sure why the fandom thinks taking complex and fascinating characters that allowed readers to escape their potentially bleak lives to jump into something more joyful (at least in an entertainment kind of way) and turning them into sitcom tropes is a great idea that OH IS SO GREAT, and EVERYONE WILL PREFER.

'Cause when the comics start copying that trend, you're actually scaring most people away.

Sure it's different from the big bad edgy we had to deal with a while, but it's still not getting these things back to were the once were.

You're replacing the bad, with a different flavor of bad. This time coated in a superficial dusting of praise that doesn't help anything get anywhere.

See, the fandom isn't as big as it may seem. It functions as an echo chamber which gives the illusion of their being way more. These comics wouldn't constantly be cancelled if they were as good or as popular as people make them out to be.

So all those posts praising the nonsense are as functional as having that one friend who praises you no matter what while the rest of the world says otherwise. Might feel good at the time, but let's face it, it gets you nowhere.

And that's just how the internet works. A bunch of little weirdos sitting around making their chamber, and thinking what they say to someone else still matters.

But it don't.

It doesn't.

They're all just so confident they mean something, when they mean as much to the greater world as a weed so far out of view, you don't bother trying to pull it.

You can make up what ever you want, and try to be as abrasive and irritating about what you made up as much of you want, go out praising when some desperate writer that settles for brownie points over critical praise and legacy puts it into a comic to find validation also as much as you want.

But the lack of genuine interest from most people still leaves it as a dud.

So many characters people think are popular, when they're tragically not, no matter if they were formerly good, is saddening. Because a lot of these characters at one point were good, and interesting, and genuinely popular beyond the small pond filled with indignity.

At best they have fan bases that once cared but now no longer do. That don't bother paying attention, because why should they after being denied the simple thing they want--good writing and characterization. The whole reason most start reading in the first place.

I might point one finger at one of these dudes, because I can comfortably say I used to love them too.

No one bothers trying to help out, and bring them back up though.

They want the instant glorification from a bunch of nobodies, who don't care about them as a person, and are only a validation machine instead of anything with a beating heart in it that will truly be there for them when times gets rough besides thoughts and prayers alone.

And as many years as I've seen this stuff, it never stops.

If I haven't been in a better place since I've almost entirely left DC behind in the dust, I would consider that depressing.

These people are online doing this so much that it is what they dedicate their lives to.

It is their life.

They made themselves so unlikable though, that a lot can't be bothered to find pity.

If you have to rewrite reality in your brain, what's the point of living there? You're just convincing yourself you're the only one not wrong, with no hint of irony. What a weirdo thing to do.

Clinging on to things with no solid backing.

In the grand scheme of things they are that insignificant unless you're also stuck in the chamber.

Hell, the only reason I made this post as long as it is, is less out of care and passion, and more because I can't help myself from being overly wordy.

If only DC could be fucked to remember what it takes to write good stories instead of ripping fandom people off. Maybe something would click in and once again take off.

And giving the illusion they now care--

As we can see with the frequent cancelations--

That only works when you have the talent and know how, to tell good stories, with great characters once again. A retro paint job and partially putting the character where they should be can only do so much, when limited talent has to take the rest of the wheel.

Otherwise all you're gonna get is a month or two of decent sells...and it's back into the dumpster again. Where the higher ups might eventually decide to blame the toy and not the manufacturers.

Unless you're Batman or Superman or that level of iconic/popular.

Disappointingly and quite obviously, it's not hard to know if not assume most characters don't have that level of icon to have their back in the dark times. Meaning most go back into the void unless the ones upstairs think this time their new failed from the start scheme will win them all back.

The secret of success in comics is simple, now it may not go back to the way it was, but they can still come back a bit, and here's the secret--

Learn how to fucking tell good stories, with good characterization, with artists that are beyond simply having good talent, but actual passion that shows them how everything's supposed to be.

If I order a nerf gun, and comes not looking anything like what it did on the box.

You know damn well the person who bought it is going to be displeased and not order from them again.

You're testing customer loyalty, and the economy not doing as grand, and prices going up--

The amount of time you have to get them back is depleting.

So get your head out of your ass and actually do something.

[cellythefloshie]

;; Amusement Chapter Six of Cool for the Summer

Table of Contents Chapter Five «« 🤍 »» Chapter Seven

Summary: Harper upholds the promise she made to her sister, but their escape from the city doesn't mean she can escape the attention of Andrei. Word Count: 4k+

This series to be read in conjecture with @hockeyboysimagines I Loved You Three Summers.

If there was one thing that made Harper regret leaving the dark comfort of her basement bedroom, it was the bright summer sun that, while it dipped lower on the horizon, was still hot against her skin. She could feel it burning her cheeks as she sat in the front seat of her Jeep, running her stick of sunscreen over her face until she was sure she would be set until the sun set in the late hours of the evening. Or maybe it was the humidity in the air, and how it left every inch of her feeling slick with sweat as she and Maddie walked along the highway to the fairgrounds in the distance. The Canada Day carnival was a fifteen-minute walk from where they found parking across town, but even from down by the water, Harper could hear the excited screams. 

Harper dragged her sneakers through the dirt, her every stride hesitant as they walked around the rural town of Lac Du Bonnet. She had attended the carnival every year. She couldn’t remember a time when she hadn’t, but in the most recent years, she had always attended with Darren. They would have drunk a beer at the only bar in town, and ate lunch at one of the mom-and-pop owned restaurants in town before he watched her ride the Skymaster. If she was lucky, she would have convinced him to ride on the Ferris Wheel before they would find a quiet place to watch fireworks before the long drive home. But this year, Harper was feeling more alone than if she had travelled alone. 

Maddie’s friends had joined them before they reached the carnival gates, sending Harper to the back of their pack. But she made sure to remain nearby when the noise of the crowd and the sheer number of people quickly became too much. Her sister was her only comfort–that was until Harper spotted a familiar face in the crowd. 

There it was. The real reason Harper wished she had stayed home in bed: Seth. 

He was smiling at her from his place in the lemonade line, and with the careful nudge of his shoulder into the body next to him, Harper’s eyes went wide. She shouldn’t have been shocked as she watched Andrei turn in place to look at her. Not when she knew that the only reason the two of them would be there was because Maddie asked them to. 

Before the two of them could push their way through the crowd to meet them, Harper reached out for her sisters arm and tugged her back gently as she spoke, “Hey Mads I-” she swallowed hard, her head shaking slightly as her eyes were stuck on Andrei, two unfamiliar faces that walked alongside him, “What is this?”

It was hard to hide the annoyance on her face as the four of them joined the small group that was already too large for Harper to be comfortable with. And she was forced to put on a false smile as Seth spoke out in fake surprise: “Oh my god, how funny is it to see you guys here! That’s so weird.”

Seth spoke with the confidence of an actor in a poorly written sitcom. His performance almost left Harper scoffing as he winked at Maddie, but she had to find her composure. She couldn’t be mad at Maddie, not when she was just trying to look out for her, and she couldn’t be mad at Seth. He was just an accessory to it all. Harper wished Maddie had just told her that the boys would be coming. It would have saved her from having to force a smile that looked more like pursed lips as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Yeah,” Harper hummed. She head cocking to the side slowly, her foot tapping impatiently against the ground. “Definitely weird.”

Seth let out a half laugh, his smile still consuming his features as he swung an arm around her shoulder. He gave her a small shake that made her smile a little more real as she spoke. “Love you, Harper.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she waved him off, pulling away to try to distance herself from the group and the inevitable awkwardness of having to spend the afternoon with him and his teammate, but no matter how hard she tried to look the other way, there Andrei seemed to be. It wasn’t that he was following her, or trying to be in the way, he just always caught her eye–well, Andrei and his older brother, who always seemed to be watching her and whispering to the pretty blonde on his arm. 

“Ah, who's your friend?” Harper asked Andrei slowly, as she walked just behind him rather than in the space that had been left open at his side. 

Andrei glanced back, a boyish smile splaying over his lips. “This is my brother, Evgeny.” Harper looked up at the quiet Russian with a curt nod and a smile. Like his brother, Evgeny was tall and strong, but his face was soft, his smile toothless, and his hair more red than it was blonde. And—Harper was sure—that he was older. Her age, even. Which became clearer as she found it easier to make small talk with Evgeny, and his girlfriend, as they walked through the grounds. 

That was until Seth mentioned beer and the group seemed to dissolve around her until she was standing alone with her sister. Harper crossed her arms over her chest slowly, and suddenly, she felt like she was babysitting her and Seth all over again, ready to give her some kind of lecture about not letting Seth shove Lego up his nose. 

“Madison.”

“Harper.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” Harper asked with a sigh.

“I don’t-” Maddie started strong, but she hesitated as her smile threatened to play on her lips, “what do you mean?”

“I-” Harper started, her tongue coming down to bite on her tongue as she spoke. But she was running out of time for her big-sister lecture. Seth and Andrei were already returning with a red cup in each hand–and as much as she needed a drink, Harper also needed a moment to herself. “I’m going to pee.”

Pushing through the crowd, Harper kept her head down, making it a little harder to follow if anyone had decided to try. She pushed past drunk teenagers and children too young to be left unattended until she reached a long stretch of porta potties. Her nose wrinkled. It wasn’t the ideal hiding spot. But it would do.

Holding her breath, Harper stepped inside and pulled the door shut behind her. The sunlight altered in through the cracks in the door, but as she gasped, the cracks weren’t enough to help with the smell. She could taste it in her mouth, and it burned at her eyes. She felt stupid, hiding there, away from a boy. Away from Andrei. 

Blinking her eyes shut tight, Harper blinked back tears that she told herself were because of hiding in the porta potty and not because of the frustrations that were all so consuming that she wanted nothing more than to run. To leave the carnival and go back to the security of her room, where no one and nothing could bother her. She didn’t have to worry about the heartache of her break up there, or the worries she held for her sister exploring her relationship with Seth. And, most important of all, she could hide away from Andrei and his insistent smile, and eyes that were only for. Why? She didn’t want to take the time to know because if she did? Maybe she would like the attention. 

It wasn’t a risk she was willing to take. 

“Alright, time’s up,” she gasped out before she reached for the lock and stumbled back out into the carnival. 

She craved the fresh air; it was tainted by the scent of the oil mini donuts were fried in, and vomit. And while it was enough to stop her lungs from burning, Harper could still taste the chemicals that were in the air as she hid away. Pushing her way through the crowd, Harper returned to her sister, Seth and Andrei, and reached right out for the beer in Seth’s hand. She took it without hesitation, drinking it back in heavy gulps that left the head of the beer on her upper lip. 

She winced as she reached out to drop the empty cup in a nearby trash bin, and when her hand was free she patted Seth’s shoulder playfully, “Why’d you buy the cheap bee?”

“It was all they had!” Seth defended with a laugh before they all split off to walk two-by-two ready to take on the rides. 

Evgeny and his girlfriend lead the group, and Harper followed just behind them, with Andrei at her side. She fumbled with her own fingers as they walked together, her tongue struggling to force the right words as she tried to maintain the small talk Andrei too seemed to struggle through. She felt uncomfortable, unsure of what exactly she could say to him, but worst of all, she was distracted. Even if she wanted to give him all of her attention, she wanted to make sure Seth and Maddie were having a good time. And Maddie’s friends? Well, they made it hard for everyone to have a good time. 

Harper didn’t know if it was out of jealousy, or simply because the girl was a bitch, Harper heard Maddie's friends say: “Look at the way he’s following her around, so cute. Like a puppy-”

It made Harper self conscious as she stood in line for The Zipper with him beside her. She felt like his babysitter. But at the same time, she hated herself for not enjoying his company more. Andrei could have picked any of Maddie’s friends to spend the day with. Or  he could have decided to stay back in the city and spend the day with his brother. Yet, he chose to spend it with her–and a seething Maddie. She must have heard their comment too–

As the ride came to a stop, Harper reached out, trying to take hold of her sister’s hand, but she so quickly fell out of reach. With a little wave and a smile, Maddie got on the ride next to Seth, leaving Andrei at her side and her friends standing behind them. Wide eyed, and a little slack jawed, Harper looked up at Andrei, her awkwardly empty hand reaching out to take hold of his thick wrist. 

Maybe she was just being petty, but she smiled at him, “come on the ride with me?”

Andrei nodded, matching her soft smile as they approached the caged seat of the ride. 

Harper let him get in first, his athletic frame so broad a lump formed in the back of her throat as she saw just how much space he took up. A shuddering breath took her as she squeezed into the confirmed space with him, her shoulder pressed up against his and the roughness of his denim pressed up the bare skin of her thigh. The cage rattled shut over them, locking them into what felt more like a coffin than a carnival ride. 

“Tight fit,” Andrei spoke from beside her, and she could practically feel the discomfort in his voice. Not because they were seated so close together, but the nature of the ride as the seat rotated, turned and flipped, all the while being confined into such a small space. 

The ride was unpredictable, fast-paced and trilling. It left Harper smiling, her heart racing against her chest, but she could feel Andrei sitting stiffly beside her. Sighing, Harper turned her head and looked at him out of the corner of her eye. His stare looked straight out at the grate that was right in their faces, and his lips fell apart in shallow breaths. Carefully, Harper’s fingers strained out across the safety bar, inching closer and closer to Andrei until her fingers rested over his. It was a subtle gesture, but she watched as his face softened, and his eyes met hers in a silent thank you.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

The music and the laughter of the Canada Day festivities seemed to fade away as Andrei walked alongside his brother through the carnival games that seemed to take up more room on the grounds than the rides. Screams of exhilaration became the clamor of basketballs thrown into chain nets, and the hollow thud of darks when they missed their target of colorful balloons. They left the bright neon lights and spinning rides behind them, but the crowd’s energy was ever infectious as the two of them got in line, waiting their turn to throw darts. Yet, Andrei’s mind continued to slip to Harper. She was a nagging thought in the back of his mind as he paid the staff of the carnival game and picked up the plastic dart. He rolled it between his fingers as he looked at one bright yellow balloon and let the dart fly. There was no shrill pop of the balloon, only the thud of hitting the backboard. 

“You missed,” Evgeny said, leaving Andrei to groan. He knew that tone. His brother was teasing him. 

Andrei grabbed another dart. “I’ve been distracted.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” Evgeny sighed as he leaned against them both, almost smiling as he watched Andrei line up to throw another dart and miss. 

Andrei groaned out, his head hanging on his shoulders as he looked down at his last dart. Then, his view was obstructed, his brother’s hand waving in front of his face. “You’re not even here, are you?”

He wanted to laugh, but his body and mind were both heavy with the chaos that was Harper in his mind. Andrei intended to not speak a word about it. To continue to bury his thoughts, his feelings because his brother knew he had eyes for Harper and had offered his brotherly wisdom: She is a distraction. But Andrei didn’t need to talk about it for his brother to fall into the complicated but unavoidable conversation. 

“This is because of the girl, Harper?” Evgeny asked slowly. 

Andrei sighed as he nodded. “She’s…” he hesitated, trying to find the right word to say. Beautiful? But she was more than her looks. Intelligent? Yes, but she was more than her brains. Mean? But only to him, it seemed, because she cared so deeply for her sister, and even Seth. It should have pushed him away, but it only left Andrei wanting more. And as he stood there, chewing on his words like a stick of gum, he decided on one that seemed to encompass them all, “different. I don’t know. I want a shot with her, but then I think. She just got out of something long term, and all I’ve ever done it-”

“Fling after fling,” Evgeny finished for him, shaking his head, “she is trouble to you, and you to her.”

It wasn’t what Andrei wanted to hear, though he was sure it was the truth. Reaching down, Andrei picked up another dart. This time when he threw it, Andrei hit his mark, the yellow balloon he had his eye on for the first two throws finally popping. He placed another colorful five-dollar bill down on the countertop, buying three more darts to throw. 

“She deserves more, and that is why I should walk away, but I don’t want to,” Andrei told his brother, throwing his dart and popping another balloon with his effortless, almost careless throw. 

Evgeny was sighing, leaving Andrei sure that this was one of the rare times Evgeny loathed being his big brother. 

“Listen,” Evgeny half smiled, “you’ve got to be honey with yourself. She might be here for the summer, but come September, you’re going back to Carolina. Are you thinking with your heart, your mind, your dick maybe? Wherever you’re thinking from, do you really think you’re going to take her with you?”

Andrei’s jaw clenched, not wanting the harsh reality to hit, but unable to deny the truth of it all. Harper was a summer distraction. She was the girl that happened to live next door, someone that would become a glowing memory he’d have to let go of. 

“Look, Andrei,” Evgeny continued, this time reaching out to give his shoulder a squeeze, “you need to know what you’re getting yourself into. Think about what she wants–and what you want. If she’s even interested, because the whole thing, it’s going to end.” 

Frustrated, Andrei grabbed another dart, barely aiming, and threw. It popped a balloon, but its pop was a distant sound as he reached down and threw his last dart. The result was the same. The vendor, her face blank as she had witnessed the evolution of his throwing and the family therapy session, rewarded him with a small stuffed bear for his efforts. Andrei took the small, cheap stuffed animal and stared at it as he considered Evgeny’s words, the feeling of indecision thick in his chest. 

“Thanks, man,” he said quietly to his brother, “I’ll…” he sighed, “I’ll get this all figured out.”

But Andrei wouldn’t find his resolve at the carnival, not when he had just won the perfect little gift to give her. Stuffing the bear under his arm, Andrei pushed his way through the crowded carnival grounds and found Harper with her sister, Seth, and their friends in the beer garden. Her laughter called to him like a siren’s song, and her smile was like a beacon of light as the sun set, leaving the carnival in the glow of the colorful carnival lights. The sight of her made Andrei’s heart twist, but he remained on course. He walked over, tapping her gently on the shoulder to get her attention. 

“Oh,” Harper’s surprise was laced with a chuckle of her previous conversations, “uh, hi Andrei,” she glanced at him up and down, her eyes fixating on the bear on his hands and he watched as her expression shifted to something he couldn’t quite identify. 

“What’s this?” she asked him slowly, a smile on her lips, but a hint of hesitation in her eyes. 

“It’s for you, if you want it,” Andrei told her, his stomach suddenly heavy with insecurity. “I won it. Thought of you.”

Andrei’s eyes only left her for a moment, flickering over to Seth for a moment of assurance before he looked back at Harper. She stood there for a moment, her eyes fixated on the bear before she looked back at him, her expression soft with either pity or thanks. Andrei didn’t know him long enough to know. Then, after a moment, she took the bear, her fingers barely grazing him, but it left his breath hitching all the same. “Thanks, Andrei.”

They stood there; her smile softening for a moment as she hugged the bear to her chest. The fleeting joy in her eyes gave him hope that there was a part of her that was interested in him. But in the back of his mind, Evgeny’s words echoed in the back of his mind, a warning that Andrei could ignore: This whole thing, it’s going to end.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Night settled over the carnival, the darkness swallowing up the glow of an amber glow of the setting sun and leaving the carnival to be lit by the small town’s streetlights and the color lights of each ride. The humid air cooled and mingled with the scents of popcorn, cotton candy and the occasional whiff of vomit as the ride became too much with a weak stomach or those who had more than enough to drink at the beer gardens. It was becoming a rowdy site as the promise of fire words grew near, and while their friends settled in to watch the show, Harper, Maddie, Seth and Harper slipped away, and somehow managed to find themselves at the front of the line for the Ferris wheel.

Harper stood with her arms crossed. The small bear that Andrei had won her nestled to her chest as if it were enough to keep her warm since she had failed to bring a sweater. She teetered on her feet, patiently waiting for the rotation of the wheel to run its course so the four of them could take their place on the ride. But as she waited in silence, Seth was speaking animatedly with the attendant. There was laughter, and even some jeers, like the two of them, were old friends. 

“What the hell is he doing?” Harper asked as she leaned close to her sister.

“I’ve learned to just not ask questions,” Maddie answered with a small smile, her head shaking.

Then, over the screams of excitement that filled the air, Seth could be heard exclaiming, “And look!” His hand reached out for Andrei, pulling him out of place behind Seth and drawing into the conversation. “I brought my Russian friend too, Andrei Svechnikov, you know him? Yeah? How do pictures and some autographs sound? Eh?”

Harper’s eyes rolled. It became an embarrassing display as the young man operating the ride finally realized just who exactly he had been talking to. The surrounding crowd began to murmur. She could feel the gaze of strangers on her back, and Harper hugged the bear tighter. She hugged it so tight she thought it might pop, and her grip on it only loosened when the ride stilled and the four of them took their seats on the colorful carriage Ferris wheel. 

Maddie and Seth sat together on one side, his arm falling around her so effortlessly. They contrasted how she sat so blatantly. They were relaxed, so comfortable, while Harper sat rigid and squished back into the corner of her seat as she tried to put as much space between herself and Andrei as she could in the small, confined space of the carriage. But then, as her eyes were fixed on the space where the horizon met the lake, the carriage began to rock. Her arms outstretched to grab onto anything she could, sending the small stuffed bear to her lap, Harper grasped onto the carriage with one hand and Andrei’s leg with the other. 

“Seth, don’t!” Harper shouted, her gaze snapping to him in an instant. 

He wore a boyish smile that only grew as Maddie reached out to slap him because she was closest - and Harper couldn’t bring herself to release the grasp she had on what she grounded herself to. Her heart raced in her chest as the carriage calmed, and only then did she realize just where one hand had fallen. 

“Sorry,” she muttered to Andrei when she noticed him staring, her touch slowly leaving him as she let her gaze return to the farmlands and the lakes that surrounded the small town. There was a peace over it all as they sat at the very peak of the Ferris wheel, one that would be lost when the first firework ignited the skies. 

“So, is this what you paid the guy for?” Harper asked Seth slowly, her eyes not once leaving the sky. 

“Yup, twenty bucks and some pictures with Svechy, and he was sold.”

There was a hum of laughter between Seth and Andrei, a soft sound that almost left Harper smiling, but it was quickly drowned out by the first whistle and burst of a firework overhead. It cast its bright blue glow over the carnival, earning hoots and hollers from all that could see. Harper watched the display, her expression soft until she felt the carriage rock again. Her eyes narrowed a moment, ready to reach out and hit Seth herself this time, but when her eyes found him, he wasn’t waiting for her glare. Seth had pulled Maddie in for a kiss, and Harper was sure his tongue was shoved into her mouth. 

Harper was happy for them, though the show of affection left her nose wrinkling, suddenly feeling like a third - or maybe fourth - wheel. Frowning inwardly, Harper shifted her in the seat, her knee knocking into Andrei’s. And in that moment, Harper was reminded of just how close he was sitting next to her. She could feel the warmth of his body against hers, and the subtle touch of his arm as it rested on the seat behind her. She didn’t know when it had been placed there, and she should have told him to move it, but it was warm and made her feel as if she wasn’t going to fall out of the ride as they sat eighty-feet in the air. 

Instead of pushing Andrei away, Harper shifted in closer, her hands dropping to grip at the small bear in her lap. Her gaze then rose, intending to look back up at the fireworks as they colored the skies, but then she caught Andrei’s gaze. His face was lit up with excitement, the bright colors of the fireworks a wash of color on his face as they flickered above. There was something boyish in his expression, like he was a child seeing fireworks for the first time. But he wasn’t watching the fireworks, he was watching her. Andrei’s brown lifted slightly when he was sure he was looking, his head nodding to Maddie and Seth. It was a silent invitation, or maybe a suggestion, daring her to lean in closer to him. 

To kiss him. 

Harper’s heart jumped into her throat. For a moment, she even imagined it: leaning in, brushing her lips against his and letting herself get swept up into the thrill of it all. It would be easy, effortless even, but the sensible part of her tugged her back to reality. Kissing Andrei during the small, intimate moment on the Ferris wheel. It would only complicate things. In her mind, while she tried to tell herself differently, Andrei was just a kid. And not only that, she, herself, was still recovering from her own breakup. He deserved more than just being a rebound. 

Instead, without a word, Harper listed the small bear he had won her, and she placed a playful kiss on its head. Andrei chuckled at her makeshift solution, his laugh warm and undiscouraged. Andrei didn’t pressure her further, he only smiled. “You’re cute, you know that?”

He could feel his hand on her shoulder, drawing her in so that she sat against her chest, her body angled to look up at the skies. Her heart did another flip, on the verge of panic, just as she had been in the pool. But there was no running away from Andrei now. Nowhere to hide from the feelings he disturbed deep beneath the hardened shell of her surface. So she sat there, his arm and warmth consuming her as they watched the colors kiss the sky, enjoying each burst of color that drowned out the raging desire she forced into the back of her mind. It was a wish surrounded by doubt: she wanted to kiss him, but she lived in fear of the mess that would surely follow. 

TAGLIST: @mp0625 , @starshine-hockey-girl , @wingedwheelprxncess , @kurlyteuvo , @couldawouldashoulda50, @callsign-denmark , @xciciix , @puckmaidens

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Curious, but do you know of anything Marinette is bad at? I didn't realize this until before, but Marinette always seems to be presented as amazing at everything. Like, I can get baking and designing, since they're things she's had personal experience in, but everything else? She's either super amazing or she needed five minutes of instruction and she's incredible.

Gaming? Absolute pro. Art? Amazing. Fencing? Just a little help from Adrien, and she's so good. So far, the skills she's presented to be absolutely amazing at: gaming, fencing, art, fashion, costume design (surprise surprise, fashion and costume design are two different avenues), baking, DIY, mechanical engineering (Miracle box hiding place and snapping diary box), fighting, leadership, decision-making, Guardianship, school (somehow straight-A student despite her tardiness and Ladybug issues).

And that's all I can get off the top of my head. I'm scared that there might be more. The only things I can think of that she's bad at is ice skating (which feels like a plot device for the Frozer episode, since she adapted so quickly to ice-skating as Icebug) and talking to Adrien.

I have a character (non-MLB) with the kind of genius that lets her master anything if she's seen it two or three times, but that genius has limitations itself that later compels her to actually think and work hard to master said subject. But Marinette is never even implied to be similiar to this, and everything she's good at is just passed off as "Amazing Marinette" and then left alone.

What do you think? If there's any other examples of things she's bad at, clumsiness nonwithstanding, please tell me, because this thought is driving me bonkers.

Nothing comes to mind, though I will say that Marinette wasn't a very good fencer. Then again, the show is actually laughably bad at portraying fencing, so I guess we just have to take Adrien's word for it that she was good. (I fenced for several years. May even have my old meddles somewhere as proof, though I doubt it.)

This isn't unique to Marinette, though. Most of the teen characters are absurdly talented. Kitty Section was so cool XY stole their music and their look. Alya runs a blog that's so successful that she was interviewed on national TV (end of PrimeQueen). Nino got to be on that TV competition in Simon Says. Max has tech in a literal space ship. The list goes on and on. Marinette just has more than most because she's the main character.

This isn't necessarily a flaw. It's normal for kids shows to have kid/teen characters who are super cool and talented because the goal is to inspire real kids to try things. The only reason it feels like a flaw in Miraculous is that this type of super-cool can-do-anything character is usually reserved for low-stakes episodic shows. Serialized shows (aka, shows with an overarching plot) will still have kid and teen characters who do the things adults usually do because that's what the target audience wants to see, but these kid and teen character will be a lot more nuanced and flawed. They're allowed to fail because their stories can take multiple episodes to resolve whereas characters in episodic shows have to have everything figured out and wrapped up in 20 minutes, allowing for way less nuance to their characters.

Because Miraculous is trying to be both an episodic and a serialized show, you get a lot of awkward characterization and writing. Sitcom drama with prestige TV stakes. We want Miraculous' cast to feel like they belong in a serialized drama because Miraculous has a serialized plot, but the individual episodes must stand alone, so the characters can't have the depth they need. It's messy, ugly writing.

[seriousfic]

Very early on in this movie, hero Christian Grey gives da chick the standard romantic leading man speech about how he's bad news--a loner, Dottie, a rebel--and she should still clear of him. At this point, they've gone out to get coffee one time and he's saved her from a careening bike messenger. I know it must be exciting to tell a lady that she should stay away from your twisted mind for her own feminine good, but dude, save it for at least the second date.

This came to Netflix, so I figured I might as well give a shot. It's a failure, obviously, but it's an interesting failure. There are talented people both on screen and behind the scenes, and it looks like a movie, but all their efforts amount to putting lipstick on a pig. Would it be unfairly inside-baseball to repeat the reports of a troubled production, with the author insisting on an adaptation that was too faithful for its own good?

Try not to do a shot every time heroine Anastasia Steele* extravagantly bites her lower lip in lust.

(how come Dakota Johnson's character name in this is way more silly than the name of the literal superhero she played?)

To be fair to the movie, I've seen a ton of waggish assholes like, well, me, declare that this movie is a camp classic of unintended hilarity and guys, c'mon. There's no way they didn't intend "What are buttplugs?" as a laughline.

In fact, with Dakota Johnson's sitcom star comedic timing and winsome charm, watching this movie is a bit like finding a coke-begotten relic of the 80s where some madman paired Meg Ryan and Rutger Hauer (it doesn't help that, as "Mr. Grey," they cast an actor that plays serial killers about as often as heartthrobs).

I'm making this story sound interesting, but it's not able to succeed on its own terms, as whenever it tries to get serious, the drama runs headlong into a howler of a line that must be verboten from the books. "I'm fifty shades of fucked up!" Christian groans at one point.

"I don't make love. I fuck. Hard," is another line that even Sir Michael Caine couldn't get into working order.

It's a shame, because there's no real reason a modern-day gothic romance can't work. Sure, there's no real plot to the thing besides Ana and Christian's doomed/not-so-doomed romance, but there are worse foundations for a movie than a relationship where the guy wants to hurt his lady love as much as romance her. It's fucked up, but imagine what a Cronenberg or Verhoeven could do with the assignment. Well, full frontal, probably.

(The compromise to keep Jamie Dornan from spending a third of the movie displaying the status of his circumcision is that he does most every sex scene in a worn pair of jeans. I probably should've been too stunned by his abs to wonder at this, but dude's a billionaire. Is he doing yardwork in those jeans? Home repair? Or have they gotten all the holes in them purely from screwing? Man, that guy does fuck. Hard.)

You know, given that bondage is a pretty common fetish, you'd think Christian Grey--an ubersexy twenty-something billionaire--would be able to find a woman who's into, y'know, all that--especially since his wildest antics are a little whipping and possible anal fisting.

I know there'd be no story if he didn't immediately fall in love with Anastasia Steele (snicker) and if she wasn't only putting up with the bondage to get the package deal. Still, that is a pretty contrived starting point, isn't it? At least Team Edward has the excuse of that whole 'my own personal brand of heroin' thing.

[kindheart525]

Do you have any really silly mane six headcanons

Twilight Sparkle once smoked weed during her equivalent of college and to this day is terrified that Celestia will find out (Celestia already knows)

Twilight has very little knowledge of memes and her friends frequently have to explain new slang to her before she causes political scandals (“no Twilight ‘kys’ does not mean ‘keep yourself safe’”)

Much like a real horse, Twilight often falls asleep standing up during her late-night stress & study sessions. Spike has had to wake her up and tell her to go to bed numerous times

Twilight was that kid who reminded her teachers there was homework when they forgot. Her classmates didn’t really like her for that

Her love life is very…active lol, including when she’s in a stable and committed relationship (like active within that relationship not as a serial cheater). She loves learning new techniques if you catch my drift

Fluttershy is surprisingly confident when she’s attracted to someone, and when she’s in a committed relationship she has a lot of fun facts about animal mating patterns to share with them for…no particular reason

Unlike Twilight, Flutters is surprisingly well-versed in memes because she’s learned a lot from Discord (and also Treehugger). She doesn’t really understand the humor in all of them but she’s aware of them

(In a universe where FlutterCord is canon) She had to absolutely fight for her life in the Mane 6 meetups when she told her friends she was dating/crushing on him

Daring Do eventually loses popularity, partly because so many of her books involve actual artifact theft and social attitudes have changed, and partly because ponies just moved on to newer book series. Rainbow Dash still remains her biggest die-hard fan even when she looks pathetic doing so

Rainbow Dash acts like a big baby every time Tank hibernates for the rest of her life (he outlives her) but after the first few years it’s kind of silly

This isn’t an idea I came up with but I really like all the jokes about RD writing really bad fanfiction, and it’s a headcanon I subscribe to

(Mostly a joke because I do ship her with mares outside of my next gens) Rainbow Dash is straight but has a lot of mares asking her out because of her mane, and it’s hard to get stallions because they also think she’s gay. She also has a hard time relating to her friends who all like mares

RD doesn’t take good care of her hooves because she flies all the time and forgets to trim them due to not walking very much. Because of this, they look funky and overgrown and her friends kind of clown on her for it

When she’s older, Rainbow Dash wrecks some of her joints trying to do stunts that she did when she was younger (like carrying her “little” sister). She has the worst midlife crisis out of all her friends

When Rarity was a filly, she used to create the most elaborate and dramatic plotlines with her dolls that easily measured up to any soap opera, with betrayals, love triangles, custody battles, the whole works

She enjoys listening to soul-crushingly sad music (like Marina’s discography) during her ice cream-crying sessions, in the process roleplaying a life much more dysfunctional than she has because it helps her cope with her actual problems. Also listens to that music in a good mood if she needs to be inspired for a certain fashion piece

She overstocks her supplies to a sometimes comical extent, like she has 400 refills for her bedazzler machine. How does she have room for all that stuff? A lady never reveals her secrets, darling✨

Applejack loves singing country songs like “Thank God I’m A Country Colt” and “International Harvester” at the top of her lungs, they literally never fail to get her hyped up

(In a human context, ignoring Equestria Girls) it took her awhile to learn that Apple Bloom had TikTok and other social media accounts because she only uses Facebook on her clunky home computer

AJ is incapable of enjoying any kind of sitcom because she’s always poking holes in the plot. Her least favorite storylines are the “caught in a lie” and general miscommunication tropes

She also can’t watch well-written, dramatic tv shows either if any of the characters behave dishonestly (such as Breaking Bad)

Pinkie and Cheese once performed “Amish Paradise” for her parents and sisters (even in universes where they aren’t a couple). Reactions were VERY mixed

Also some of my “how they explain the birds and the bees to their kids” headcanons for my next gens are pretty funny

Fluttershy is really good at explaining the whole life cycle (including reproduction and death) because taking care of so many animals means she’s seen it all. Nothing squicks her out anymore. She explains things matter-of-factly but gently as she guides her little ones through various examples involving her animals.

Twilight would do a good job and be comfortable with it but she would also go overboard, giving a college-level lecture about the full reproductive process when her 10 year old daughter only wanted to know what going into heat meant. Twi’s partner calls Fluttershy in to help for the kid’s sake.

Rarity buys her daughter the pony equivalent of those Care & Keeping of You books (and her son gets the male equivalent of those books). She uses those books to bond with her kids over “becoming a mare/stallion.”

Applejack is very overprotective of Apple Bloom and probably procrastinated on giving her “the talk” only to find out that AB already learned from the other CMC (especially Scoot “left completely unsupervised 24/7” aloo /hj). A similar deal would probably happen with her own kids as well unless her partner is better about it. Even though, years before, Granny Smith was very straight with AJ like “ya wanna know how our new batch of chicks was made?”

Pinkie isn’t uncomfortable with the talk at all, except her explanation gets so convoluted and off topic that her kids go off to ask someone else.

Rainbow Dash says “go ask your father”