#and then in the next he strikes fast to kill. love it when theyre the right amount of easygoing relaxed and smart and dangerous <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[enden-k]

obsessed w characters that are introduced/come off as inconspicuous/lazy/relaxed/etc but you know/learn theyre actually dangerous and deadly as hell

[twink-frank]

hi i’ve noticed the pencey prep gay conversation going on over on @awsugar and i have spent lots of time dissecting pencey prep lyrics and subjecting nathan @faggot-frank to my deranged ramblings so Here is my pencey prep super ultra mega gay lyrical analysis masterpost. it’s very long so its all under the cut but i will include a TL;DR for those who dont wanna read paragraphs of my deranged ramblings: Pencey prep uses lots of themes of: heartbreak, forbidden love, keeping love a secret, and toxic relationships. which none of that is gay on its own but combined with them almost never using gender indicators in their songs and the “nail in the coffin song” of 8th grade it ends up being a very Fruity Album.

I will be going through heart break in stereo in order and pointing out which lyrics and elements of certain songs jump out to me as Super Mega Gay and then summarizing my conclusions at the end <3

1 ) PS Don't Write

PS don't write is about leaving a toxic relationship, it has notes of moving on and leaving someone behind. "packed up all my shit / stole back all my tapes / left your spare key under the mat / this is not a joke / you'd better learn to take a hint / 'cause i'm not coming back / maybe you'll understand / when you're waking up alone / in a cold and empty bed." it has no gender indicators or pronouns which is the case in a lot of pencey prep songs, and something i'll bring up quite a bit. it also has general "coming of age" themes, something common in lots of pencey prep songs. which Yeah apply to straight people to but read in this context combined with future evidence can be pretty Fuckin Gay. "somewhere along the line / i found a hidden strength / i didn't know i had / standing on my own / cutting all the strings / that you used to control / surprise surprise / i am long gone / if you thought you could hold me down / by holding me up / you were wrong / you don't call the shots anymore." not to say only gay people can find inner strength and the room to love themselves but combined with other context it is a really poignant message about accepting yourself for who you are.

2) Yesterday

Yesterday is very repetitive and has a lot less to analyze, but the constant themes of wanting to "run away" strike me as very Fruity. once again, not saying gay people are the only people who can want to run away or escape from something But Combined With Other Context. and once again a song with no gender indicators, doesnt specify who the speaker is running away with or what they are running away from. just that they want to Leave. "i wanna run with you / i don't care what we do / gotta get out of this place / because it feels like yesterday." also saying "it feels like yesterday" could mean that the town feels backwards or old timey in its beliefs, implying homophobia. how the speaker wants to run away from an old fashioned town.

3) Don Quixote

i'm going to bring up the cultural significance of this title and literary reference first. Don Quixote is a classical novel by Cervantes which is about a crazy dude who thinks he's a knight, and goes on weird adventures with his best friend. It's typically used as a symbol of following your dreams and breaking free from what people expect of you. In the context of the song its used as a symbol of following your dreams with Someone. once again this someone is given no gender indicators. "you say it's not worth it / been burned too many times / if your spine's receding / you can borrow some of mine / don't go and quit right now / cause i'd follow you through hell." "you say so many things / and not a word of it was true / if you're still in that state of mind / i'd still vacation inside of you / cause i think you're worth every minute / and every dime that i spend / i'd spend all my time fighting dragons / just to keep you alive and talking." it's about wanting to spend time with someone, wanting to be with them no matter what. and its also about how this person feels unreachable, like being with them would be a fairytail but the speaker Still Reaches for it. "your imaginations running wild / round your deceptive heart / this is my crusade / and you're the unreachable star / but i'm reaching." talking about this person being unreachable and unattainble. which isnt gay By Itself  but again combined with the other context. FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

4) 10 Rings

another breakup song once again with no gender indicators, are you guys sensing a theme here? anyways this song is about someone cutting you off and then coming back suddenly wanting to talk again after breaking your heart. it has a sense of forbidden love, like this person Told the speaker they cant be together for Whatever Reason ;] and is now trying to come back and repair their mistake when the speaker is already hurt and reeling. "learn to live with decisions you make / i learned things from the break i can't forget / catch you doing drive-bys at 1 AM / it must kill you to know we can't be friends." "end of the summer you cut me off / i cut you out all the pictures i have." which this Isnt Gay By Itself. but bringing that phrase back with other context this is such a uniquely gay experience. being in love with someone and they cut you off Because theyre weirded out by that and then they try to come back, convince you it meant nothing.

5) The Secret Goldfish

my FAVORITE pencey song. this one has a lot. it's another breakup song about heartbreak and loss and im not even gonna dwell on the no gender indicators because yall see the theme now. it has themes of heartbreak and losing someone who is very close to you and having to let go of them and having to accept that this person cant be yours and you cant be with them. "land of the lost / i found myself in nothing / this time, promises broken find me / clutching to you for something / something that you're not / believing in what you say / it makes me lie awake at night / the truth, the truth is not what scares me / it's why you have to lie / all the time." here we see these themes of having to let someone go because they just Aren't The Same as you. "clutching to you for something / something that you're not." maybe like chasing after a straight boy and getting rejected? also the repetition of "heartbreak is forever" when you're young and gay losing that first person you felt some kind of love and attraction to can feel like the end of the world and can be a huge deal because of the lack of representation and guidance young gays get. and the themes of nothing lasting forever, the fact that gay people never get promised eternal love the same way straight people do.

6) 8th Grade

this song is the nail in penceys fucking coffin honestly. the rest of these songs have a lot of plausible deniability, just vague enough to maybe Not Be Gay. but framed in the context of 8th grade they all start to get a lil fruity. Im just gonna go through lyric by lyric for this one. "caught staring again / like a deer in the headlights / when you can't move fast enough / i take a hit for the team / pretty girl is blushing / i can't tell if she's disgusted / laughter starts to swell / someone gets the joke." this kid was staring at some cute boy ass and got caught and everyone is laughing at him for being gay. the "pretty girl" here is what most people think he's staring at but with the rest of the song it's obvious she's not the one he's looking at. "bells ring, i make my escape / helps a little, but doesn't save / beat downs a common thing / with us every day / maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools / so maybe i like the abuse / or maybe i just like you." literally This is the nail in penceys fucking coffin. "maybe i like the abuse or maybe i just like you." this kid purposefully takes beatings from his bully who is Obviously male if you take into context the next verse. because he Likes Him. "maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools" literally willingly taking beatings from his bully bc he has a crush. "another confrontation / you've got something to prove / your girl can't tell how tough you are / when you beat me up in the boys room." this just confirms that the subject of the song is a boy, and a tough macho boy with something to prove. maybe also hiding his own internalized homophobia through bullying? "well i made a big mistake / but i can't help who i like / this may not cost my life / but i am branded forever lame." LITERALLY ITS RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. "can't help who i like" "branded forever lame" do i even need to fucking explain this oh my god. he got outed as gay, he Can't Help Who He Likes and is now branded forever as "the gay kid." the rest of the song is general "im gonna get back at my bully" stuff but literally THIS. THIS is the song that brands all penceys other very vague songs as 100% verified super mega ultra gay.

7) 19

this song has a lot less, and is more about internal struggle than anything. but it is the only song with a "she" pronoun in it. but there is one thing i wanna mention. "I scream out loud / but no one hears a sound / i take my life with lack of sleep / i believe the things i feel / the things i see are fooling only me." this song is about not believing what the world shows you, believing what you think is true in your heart and what You feel. not what anyone else tells you. which is a gay experience. believing in yourself and your heart and your feelings, believing theyre right and theyre true and valid. Also this song has a significance in coming right after 8th grade on the album, going from being 13 to 19, from being unsure in your feelings and angry about the people who dont like you to lost and hopeless but somewhat grounded in yourself.

8) Trying To Escape The Inevitable

this song is about an abusive and toxic relationship, knowing you Need to escape it but being so infatuated with the person you literally cant. “i have this reoccurring dream / you make it hard for me to breathe / i gave you everything i could / i gave up everything i owned / and when you smile it’s not for me / you offer little sympathy / your grasp so far exceeds your reach / i wake up, this is not a dream.” “i have this reoccuring dream / where you admit that you’re not happy / i know that you will never leave / you’re here just to torment me.” which like again this isnt an exclusively gay experience but it is very interesting when framed that way. in that gay people are way more likely to throw themselves into abusive and toxic relationships because they dont feel like they can get anybody else. the repetition of “i know i should run” makes it seem like the speaker Knows he should get out but he just Cant because what if he never finds love again? and the little reprise in the middle “i have a new dream / and everything is perfect / the sky is pink, yellow, green, blue, and orange / and all the past has been forgotten / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and i fell into your trap.” implying that even if he escapes, even in his dreams he still falls for this person because he feels like he cant have anything else.

9) Lloyd Dobbler

another love song about wanting to have someone but not being able to because of Unspecified Forbidden Reasons. “why are you so far away / even when you’re standing next to me? / your eyes give you away / telling secrets your mouht don’t feel like talking.” falling in love with someone, maybe sensing that they like you too. that they Are Like You and that they have a Secret they dont want to vocalize. do i even need to explain it at this point? and in the chorus “That I’ll be your lloyd dobbler / with a boom box out in the street / and i’ll be there if you need someone / even if he isn’t me.” saying you’ll be there for someone even if that person isn’t you, also the use of Pronouns which is big for pencey prep. which yes the use of “even if he isnt me” could imply a straight girl ooorrr....Fruit Behavior. also this line “There’s a norman rockewll painting / of two kids sitting on a bench / it reminds me of all the stupid things / i’d like for us to share, but i dont care.” normal rockwell is a painter that paints traditionally “american” scenes. like the american ideal, that maybe he wants with this person. but he knows he cant have, but its stupid and domestic and he wants it but he Cant Have It because of FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

10) Florida Plates

another of my favorite pencey songs, and this one brings back those tragic “love but we cant have it” themes, except with a more somber tone. instead of being angry or resentful or spiteful in the face of adversity. its an Acceptance, of what they had and how good it was and how it just Cant Last. “kiss a mouth to open eyes / stall one last moment before goodbye / drive in different cars in different directions / never write all the letters full of good words, better intentions / it’s for the best although we don’t know it / paper words will cheapen the moments we shared / it’s better if i say nothing at all.” it’s about knowing you have to leave someone, even if having them in the moment is great they Can’t Stay and you can’t even talk or write about the moments you had. which do i even need to explain it at this point? forbidden love, not being able to have each other, not even being able to Talk about it. its a secret, and painful one but its beautiful while you have it. Conclusion alright!!! thank you so so much if you read all the way through that i Know it was long i Know it was a lot of repetition but i wanted to make my point. pencey prep has very big gay themes in their music. with forbidden love, letting go, heartbreak, keeping secrets, toxic realtionships. which none of it is gay on its own but in the context of: almost none of the songs having clear gender indicators and always speaking really vaguely about the subject and Eight Grade the “nail in the coffin song” you can see my point thank you and goodnight.

[poorguysheadisdoingwhatnow]

things from NC Newsies

THE TRUMPET SOLO I STAN

Crutchie is really channeling his inner 90s newsies it's fantastic

When Jack tells Crutchie to come with him to Santa Fe, Crutchie is kind of bashful and reluctant

Jack has drawn a picture of Crutchie riding a horse and he GIVES IT TO CRUTCHIE

carrying the banner is fantastic I'm pretty sure Jack is buttoning Crutchie's best for him at some point and it's so pure

Finch is IRISH and I think Specs is also IRISH and I think Romeo is ITALIAN AND IT'S GREAT

TOMMY BOY IS A GIRL SHE’S MY FAVORITE

Jack smacks a delancey with the crutch and THE CRUTCH BREAKS and Crutchie had to use it as a cane the whole rest of the scene I have never laughed so hard (he came back out the next scene with it tied in the middle with a strip of cloth)

This Davey is so delightfully awkward he's wearing a full suit I am in love

And Les is so sure of himself he’s so confident I love this child

Pulitzer waited the whole song so he could put his shoes on dramatically at the wax line and I can't take a man in bright red socks seriously

He said "shave me too close and you may cut my throat" and Nunzio GIGGLED

Medda is amazing and lovely and geez what a performance

After Jack leaves the drawing for Katherine (which he draws on the back of a poster) she stares at it for so long like all the way through the next set change

okay the world will know we got Davey in his vest and tie but no jacket he’s eVoLvInG

Jack paints “strike” over the headline

Davey doesn’t start singing along with the others till like the second verse and even then he’s really hesitant until near the end when he starts doing the motions

It’s Crutchie, Jack, Les, and Race that go into the World building. Davey tries to follow them but the door closes on him before he can

“I think we launched our strike in a most auspicious manner”

silence from the others

“...woo!”

Katherine’s so sassy she mimics the way Jack says “What’s the last news story you wrote?” when she says “what’s the last strike you organized?”

okay before watch what happens when Jack’s like “I can tell you what i’m hoping for tonight” Katherine looks at him and just laughs it was great

and when Katherine starts watch what happens, there are newsies sitting in the towers behind her, but as the song continues, they keep straightening up and leaning forward to listen to her

seize the day is great at the beginning everyone runs in and every person looks around and stops like they were expecting more people and are crushed that they’re not there

there’s a nervous newsie (becomes one of the scabs) that runs away in the middle of Davey’s solo 

speaking of Davey’s solo, it was amazing. he started all tense and nervous with his shoulders up high and then he slowly got more confident, especially closer to Jack’s speech

also when Crutchie comes out with his strike sign, Race gestures to Davey and goes “that’s great”, and then to Crutchie and goes “that’s pathetic”

also that nervous newsie made my life he was so scared of the others (actually all three of the scabs seemed really scared but I mean they were scabbing)

dance break was lit, they didn’t spin on newspapers, they sat on stacks and hit them like drums with other rolled-up newspapers

fight scene was so sad y’all I swear I had to hold back tears, one of the Delanceys grabbed Crutchie’s crutch and just bashed him in the head and knocked him out and they dragged him off stage so fast

there were still newsies running from the cops in the background at the beginning of santa fe

like they were sprinting

“Tommy!” when one of the newsies couldn’t find tommy boy for a second it broke my heart

Santa Fe was so emotional I love the way Jason Gotay sings holy shit

king of new york was amazing, the erster line killed and there was a great moment of that awkward laughter after Jacobi’s joke, you know like when an uncle tells a bad joke and you’re just like “ha...yeah”

Davey and Katherine are besties fight me they hug more than Jack and Katherine hugged the whole time

DAVEY GOT THE WHOLE TAP SOLO TIME THEY GAVE HIM TAP SOLOS HIS SLEEVES ARE ROLLED UP HIS TIE IS GONE I AM 90% SURE HE CHANGED INTO A BLUER SHIRT 

Katherine’s first tap solo was so cute she sat on a chair and barely moved her feet and then when she got going they kept picking her up

Les and Race chilled in the background together they’re buds

all the newsies kept playing catch and keep-away with the newspaper

“and you ain’t even dead!” was a clear, quality line

SURPRISE LETTER FROM THE REFUGE CAUSE IT WASN’T IN THE PROGRAM

okay when Crutchie gets to “when that train makes-”, it’s not that anyone shushes him, it’s that a kid beside him sits up really fast from a nightmare, reaching out, and Crutchie slowly helps him lie back down and shushes him back to sleep

also he still had his crutch

and Snyder came in at the end and yelled for quiet and Crutchie lay down really fast and stuffed the letter under his pillow

THE TRUMPET LIP SLUR I STAN

the butt swat after “we’re inevitable” is very pronounced

also their conversation about Crutchie is done much more sad than angry and it about broke my heart

“POOR GUY’S HEAD IS SPINNING”

whenever Hannah brings Jack into Pulitzer’s office, he kind of bows to her and she is totally blushing as she leaves I feel ya Hannah

okay this Pulitzer is so sinister his voice is so deep I love him

also Katherine didn’t come in till he said the line “I think she can hear for herself”, the Delanceys brought her in

Jack didn’t put up much of a fight, it’s like he just gave up, his shoulders slumped and he just let them take him to the cellar

“now that there is firm” is still the stupidest line in this whole musical

BROOCLYN IS HEER THEYR HEER

SPOT CONLON HOLY SHIT he has his PIMP CANE FROM THE 90s I died

mmmmm the rally LES BROUGHT HIS DATE also there were so many little kids there they’re my fave

everyone ran and ignored Jack after he finished speaking, also Katherine had snuck to the edge of the room and was watching what happened

also the cartoon of Pulitzer was him with a baton, stepping on a kid and hitting another with said baton

so “Specs showed me” WE SEE SPECS SHOW HER

she talks really fast she’s so nervous about her plan but still so sure, it’s more like she’s talking so Jack doesn’t interrupt her

SHE SLAPS HIM INSTEAD OF KISSING HIM WE STAN AN ICON

Kath and Jack don’t even kiss till near the end of the duet and their hug is so big and pure they keep hugging all the way offstage

they all have lanterns going into the cellar, and they’re all singing really quietly and you can hear how nervous they all are about getting caught

Bill and Darcy my heart

“And proud to be a part of your revolution” he sounds so reluctant maybe Katherine made him

they have a dance break during the last verse at the key change and we see all the newsies handing out the flyers and Jack and Davey are at the top of the towers throwing more into the air

omg Pulitzer’s office, first of all Spot sits right down on the desk and finds a cookie and just starts eating it like what a mood

shit Davey’s got some nerve now I absolutely love how Daniel Plimpton portrayed him and his character development I could write an essay about it (and I might)

Spot is such a little shit omg

THEY WON also Jack’s totally about to leave he has the stuff he packed and Katherine just whips out a bag like damn she really is by his side isn’t she

“What’s Santa Fe got that New York ain’t? Sandstorms?”

Jack and Kath kiss and it’s so cute and when the others notice another newsie DIPS SPOT CONLON

Crutchie’s back and he looks like he did in the Refuge I about cried again

but dang his “you’ll be laughing all the way to the pen, little man” was so vengeful sounding I love it

their finale was fantastic the lighting and everyone’s little bows one guy did airplane arms

anyway this show was absolutely perfect

[lizbian]

All the questions for Bivir, Seva, and Damien!

1) A story for every scar. Do any of their wounds have interesting origins?

I’ve told about Bivir’s.

Seva’s got lots of interesting scars - a claw mark on their shoulder from a lammasu, a bite on their arm from a sha, a twisted hole in their gut from a necromancer’s Icicle Spear spell, and the list goes on.

Damien’s got a couple burns on his hands from attempts to cook, but htat’s it

2) Three songs that show their character progression.

I think i’ll just do this for where theyre currently at in their character progression

Bivir: Un Mundo Mejor (La Oreja De Van Gogh)

Seva: I’ll Be Okay (Nothing More)

Damien: Silent Scream (Damien Dawn)

3) If they were a god which god would they be?

Bivir would be god of healers, physicians and revolutionaries. Their temples are frequent meeting-places for those making plans the governments wouldnt approve of.

Seva would be the god of children, known for interfering in mortal form to protect children from harm.

Damien would be god of the silenced, and their temples would be shelters from those fleeing from abuse.

4) What was their favourite subject at school?

Bivir’s favorite subject in a more typical school would be biology.

Seva’s favorite subject was literature.

Damien’s favorite subject was history.

5) What does their voice sound like?

Bivir’s got a low, firm voice which is heavily accented - doubly by learning common from Thuvians, and being a native Elven speaker. While they don’t have the physical presence you’d expect from someone who’s gender includes leadership, they have the voice for it.

Seva’s voice is nasal, loud, and forceful. It’s the voice of someone who’s lost far too much, and their words frequently emphasize that they’d had quite enough.

Damien’s voice is soft, faltering, stuttering, and high. He’s got a fairly typical Thuvian accent, and the faltering nature of his speech makes him seem as delicate as a spiderweb.

6) Animal, vegetable, mineral: what one thing symbolises them the most?

Bivir is symbolized best by a lion - they’re from a tribe which values cooperation for the health of the whole, they’re courageous, despite not having the martial training or magical ability of most of their peers, and they are noble, without being nobility. Lions are symbols considered both passionate and loyal - and all of these are positive traits that Bivir encompasses.

Seva is symbolized by a rat. Rough around the edges, commonly misunderstood to be underhanded or dirty, as one might assume of a physically dirty individual who spends a lot of time in a Thieves’ Guild. But rats are consummate survivors, they are immensely intelligent, resourceful, adaptable and relentless, as well as incessantly practical. Rats are also known for their nurturing nature, being some of nature’s best parents... 

Damien is symbolized by a deer. Easily frightened, they’re a tender soul that’s been tempered by the harshness of their environment. They are graceful, and while they are gentle, they are not weak - because when the time comes, a deer will strike with their antlers. They are alert - and they frequently do their actions entirely on instinct. Deer are also creatures known to migrate frequently in the name of safety - and that is a choice he recently made. 

7) If they could control one of the four elements what would it be?

Bivir would control air - they are one who is very mutable in nature, adapting quickly to new things - while those things are normally indicative of water, air also carries a connection to grace and movement.

Seva would control earth - they are firm and unwavering, stubborn to the core, and practical - as well as being physically low to the ground. There’s also a very good precedent to highly skilled blind people controlling earth...

Damien would control water - frequently harmless, even beneficial, but occaisionally fearsome, sometimes overflowing, sometimes out of control.

8) What would their favourite tv show be?

Bivir would fucking love Kids Next Door. A bunch of socially aware kids fight off bad parents, horrible adults and capitalism? Yes, thank you.

Seva wouldn’t really be one for TV. I could see them warming up to comedic musicals like Galavant or Crazy Ex Girlfriend though - it’d earn some rare guffaws.

Damien would really like anything that would keep himup at night - I imagine he’d really dig the creeper episodes of Dr Who

9) Would they ever use magic to gain love?

No, no, no.

10) What do they think of themself?

Bivir thinks very highly of themself - they’re very proud and very firm in that. Their confidence took a hit recently, and they’re scrambling to reclaim it.

Seva thinks they’re a fucking failure. To delve any deeper into it than that would be incredibly depressing for all of us.

Damien isn’t quite sure what to think of himself yet. Part of him is pretty sure he only really became a person this week.

11) Gender and sexuality?

Bivir’s bigender, hederagal-leflia (An artist and a leader), and their sexuality is around 11 in the evening, lotus position.

Seva’s genderfuck, doesn’t really have a sexuality to speak of, since they’re too traumatized after three miserably failed coerced marriages to really think deeply on it.

Damien’s questioning, and also questioning. Damien has a lot of questions.

12) Do they have a type?

Bivir’s noticed a recurring pattern...They tend to be most attracted to women who are considerably taller than them, with general dispositions more serious than theirs.

Seva... is again, rather traumatized by three miserably failed coerced marriages.

Damien’s very confused right now, and inquiries into his type would confuse him even further.

13) Playing video games, would they be a completionist, a speed runner, how would they play?

Bivir would like rhythm games, and they’d want to get 100% on everything. That’s how they are.

Seva would like puzzle games, but they’d play casually. 

Damien would play first person shooters. is that even a question. And they’d play mostly to see how many headshots.

14) If they could solve one problem, what would they solve?

Bivir would solve fucking capitalism.

Seva would fix child abuse/neglect.

Damien doesn’t really know much about bad things yet, but he’s learning fast. He was pretty horrified about the happenings in the church, so he’d like to fix racism.

15) What horoscope stereotype fits them the most?

Bivir’s an Aquarius, Seva’s a Scorpio, and Damien’s a Pisces, and all of those are rather fitting.

16) Favourite terrain?

Bivir prefers coastal shrublands due to how used to them they are. 

Seva prefers anything underground, in part due to dwarven comfort being underground and being acclimated to it. Frequently, undergrounds tend to be dark, and they feel that’s a rather equalizing factor with regards to them and everyone else.

Damien prefers indoors. It’s what he knows.

17) How do they dress?

Bivir dresses in as little as is considered appropriate, so long as their shackle scars are covered.

Seva dresses in literally whatever.

Damien dresses like a fuckin goth, because hes a goth.

18) What would their ideal home be like?

Bivir wants to build their own home, pretty decently sized, with proof of their hunting progress over a nice fireplace, and to have a sizable enough family so that a considerably sized home wouldn’t be lonely.

Seva doesn’t really dream like that anymore. They’d be satisfied with another old wine cellar, though. They like it underground.

Damien wants the Bordeaux manor back, but without Nicholas in it.

19) What would they like their mark in history to be?

Bivir...wants to dismantle capitalism.

Seva’s satisfied with the good they’ve done and the undertakings they’ve currently chosen to do.

Damien’s afraid of historians.

20) If they could be a dragon, would they be a dragon?

Bivir wouldn’t. They like being an elf far too much.

Seva wouldn’t. They’ve known dragons, and the ones that weren’t evil were trickstery bastards.

Damien wouldn’t. One killed his good dad.

[thegeminisage]

TODAY’S ZELDABLOGGING, which has ENDGAME SPOILERS (yes i beat it):

all right i got about ~3 hours to get my shield and beat zelda lets fucking do this

the temple of time music is breaking my heart

this is one place where i'm mostly ok with them not using a classic tune for it tbh

like this music has so much grief and tranquility

i used to think the plateau was SO huge and really it's almost miniscule

i know it's a bit of a waste of time but i'm making the final trek on foot, no fast travel, temple of time to the castle

So Many Guardians

i can fight them now but only if theyre in the right place too close or far away and i cant do it

on a side note: yesterday (?) i found a beautiful pink spring i took many pictures of

today i saw that glowing spot on the map and realized i'd never figured out what it was!

dropped a pin bc i was curious, and it's the pink spring

temptation to warp over, check it out, and warp back: astronomical

but i'm on both a mission and a time limit, so it'll have to wait

ok. ok. im Here. its Time. lets go. shield first. that is My Shield, and the stalnox Cannot have it

there's a door i can't figure out how to open :/

ah, i see the stalnox

but i want that door!

google isn't helping me so i guess i have to leave it??

ok, all abilities fully charged, 3 fairies, plenty of food. i can do this. i almost killed one by accident once. that is MY SHIELD.

oh my god its got SWORDS stuck all in it jesus FUCK

my first shot did a lot of damage! but im wearing the atk+ armor which i can't keep on, it's a glass cannon

oh my god that was so EASY?

i kicked its ASS LMAO

YESSSS THERES MY SHIELD OH YES

holy shit when my swoprd strikes something in here it sounds like cannon fire! steady glowing too

i don't think there's one right way to go here so i'm gonna try to explore as much as i can

i've been spoiled by the fact that zelda has a diary laying out somehwere so i wanna find it for myself

ohhh the remains of the red carpet in here

i'm actually next to the tower i climed before, apparently i was just shy of exploring all there was to see up there...i'll see if i can have another look

lol i decide that and it IMMEDIATELY begins with the lightning storm

i found it!!! oh god was this her bedroom ;_;

AAAH SHE TALKS ABOUT LINK

he's quiet and persostent and can't resist a good meal

and it talks about why he never speaks ;_;

I LOVE THIS HE HAS A PERSONALITY!!!!

omg she even talks about her mother ;_;

A WOMAN NOT OF THIS EARTH

the goddess hylia or was it fi?? oh my god.......

WORTH IT!!!

found the guard chambers ;_; this all hurts my heart, so much was just Lost

oh my god no THE BLOOD MOON...

huh. no cutscene here

honestly fighting my way thru moblins in hyrule castle...haha man

ohhhh the library ): i bet zelda loved it here

oh my god they even had docks under the castle!!!

oh NO i found the king's journal

he hated being cruel to her and was gonna be kind when she got back but instead the last time they really saw each other they were fighting!!!

still doesn't give him an excuse tbh but i can find a SLIVER of sympathy now

okay so........now i've explored all the insides. i go out?? i.......fight ?????

oooohh god im scared again ))):

oh shit oh Shit i found it oh god

im looking up a walkthru to read after the fight starts i dont need any more surprises

ZELDA?

OH MY GOD HE'S DISGUSTING HE'S SPIDER LIKE I AM SHRIEKING WHY IS IT ALWAYS SPIDERS

YEAAHH BOY HALF HEALTH FUCK YOU GANON

I HAVE COURAGE!!!!

ooh he has guardian weapons

ok yes walkthru

GOD LMAO if you dont free the divine beasts you have to fight the minibosses here

oh god this is gonna be tough

haha "guardian weapons will break your shield" NOT MY SHIELD

i mean yes it can break but its Highly durable and replacements can be made if it does

OH GOD HE'S GROSS HE'S BUGLIKE WHY WHY

GANON THE MAN WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER

i mean i know. they had us fight a manlike thing in ss AND tp but. i miss him

oooh down to 25%

YES FUCK THERE HE GOES

eeeew

im ready for phase 2 baby

there's gotta be one right there ALWAYS is

YES here we go

AAAH I GOT THE BOW OF LIGHT

oh no i dont have epona though just a different horse im sad i should have left her out

BUT HE LOOKS JUST LIKE GANON THAT I KNOW

OH MY GOD THE FINAL BOSS MUSIC IS THE TRAILER MUSIC

THE MAIN THEME AT LEAST

WE'RE ON HYRULE FIELD NEVER DID I SUSPECT THIS WOULD BE OUR BATTLEGROUND

I DID IT!!!!

ZELDA

BEAUTIFUL SWEET YOUNG BRAVE ZELDA WITH HER MUDSTAINED DRESS

oh my g o d

"may i ask, do you really remember me"

oh my god...oh my god

ANSWER HER?

AND NOW CREDITS? IM DYING

ohhh the credits showed a bit of everybody and despite myself when they played the trailer song and showed the old man/the plateau i welled up we've come so far

HEY THERE'S SHIGERU MIYAMOTO'S NAME HEYYYYYYYY

awww that was the last song of the trailer

A STINGER

THANK GOD

ohh my god 

IF THE SPIRITS OF THE CHAMPIONS AND THE OLD MAN WATCHING LINK AND ZELDA WEREN'T AN OOT NOD....

OH MY GOD ONE MORE SECOND AND ZELDA COULD HAVE MET EYES WITH HER FATHER

jesus christ, old man disappeared last too, my HEART

theyre gonna restore hyrule!! they're gonna travel together again!!

okay i GOTTA load my file and see what's what

awww it's the one i saved right before the battle i thought there was post-game content...?

it does have a little star next to it tho

ah well

that was.......incredible

and i cried

so there's that

man!!!!! im so, so glad

what a good game

honest crit: no, it wasn't PERFECT

i could have stood more classic tunes to punch me in the feels more often and give us more of that old #aesthetic since they changed SO much about everything else - at times it didn't even quite feel like a zelda game, though the reminders that it WAS were always heartbreaking and wonderful

also maybe this was just my playstyle but i feel like there could have been more than just the four dungeons since they were so short...i know the dungeon-y puzzle stuff was spread all around with koroks and shrines, but is One big dungeon too much to ask? even hyrule castle had 1000 ways you could have gotten through

could have stood a little more acknowledgement of who you were and what you were doing as the divine beasts started waking up? like from npcs and shit, not even for Glory or whatever but just because the story felt reeeeeeally spread out, even with the memories scattered everywhere

and again a little bias here but some of the battles once you began getting Up There were a little TOO fake-difficult...i saw white bokoblins in old old places so i know it has to do with You, not your location, and i could have lived w/o it tbh

would have loved some form of new game + or postgame content, but maybe i'm just sad bc i misunderstood a spoiler or w/e it was that happened

things i loved:

the music

the cinematics, holy shit

the voice acting

when they DID use classic tunes it was to INCREDIBLE effect, same with the castle style, the ruins, even the nostalgic armor

obviously the open world gameplay was delightful and addicting, i literally couldn't get enough

the final boss battle wasn't too hard but VERY climactic and wonderful, just difficult Enough - could have maybe been a BIT harder but then i did start with him at half health!!

the dungeons, while there weren't enough of them, were EXTREMELY cool, i felt DWARFED by those beasts, after i saw the first one i never called them jaegers again

actually kind of liked the weapon durability thing bc then i could just pick them up during combat when i was running low and steal them or fight with them, throw them, etc

did not like the BOW durability, all my bows broke VERY quickly, that and running out of arrows always was totally urgh...even with my weapons inventory upgraded i STILL couldn't hold all the cool ones the game threw at me, it needed to be like that for players that favored the bow - more of them that were OP, more arrows, etc

anyway i could go on and on but

i gotta sleep, and

i'm so happy zelda is free

it would have been so cool to have her as a companion in post-game, Somehow

or at least see her reunion with all those who missed her

or see link get his memories back

it ended a bit too soon but it was beautiful and i loved it

goodnight

[viralhottopics]

‘Rugrats’ Characters Ranked By Betchiness

For this weeks TBT, were going to take a look into the lives of the most influential baby friend group of the ’90s. Im talking, of course, about the Rugrats and, most importantly, how betchy or not betchy each Rugrat is. Is it polite to rank toddlers who have not yet learned to speak based on arbitrary social categories? Probs not. Is it fun? Fucking duh.

1. Cynthia

Heres what we know about Cynthia: 1) Shes a really cool dancer, 2) Shes got cool moves (as long as you move her arms and legs), 3) Shes movin out on the floor, 4) Shes ready to break some eggs (make an omelette Cynthia!) How do we know all this? We know it from her workout tape, which I am shocked has not been sampled by Avicii or Kanye or someone yet (dont listen unless you want this song stuck in your head all day).

Cynthias resting bitch face is on point, and she manages to look great in her belted orange dress despite the fact that she is missing of her hair. Cynthia didnt say or do shit for all 9 seasons of, yet she is still one of the shows most memorable characters, and it is her ability to do no work and remain popular that has earned her the number one slot.

2. Susie Carmichael

Susie Carmichael is cool AF. Did Susie need to appear in every episode? No. Susie had other shit to do. Shell check in every once in awhile to see what the babies are up to, teach them about Kwanzaa and generally let them know whats good, before going back next door to hang with her real friends. Whenever she does come over, the babies flip out because theyre like, obsessed with her (everyone is). Shes also the only person who has absolutely no time for Angelicas bullshit, probably because Susie has better hair, a better outfit, and wears a cool red bangle, which is more than Angelica could ever hope to have. Susie is three, which makes her older and wiser than most of the babies and probably accounts for the sheer lack of fucks she has to give. Did Susie get her ass lost in the woods when Dil was born? Fuck no, she was chilling in Paris getting turnt up with her older sister! Did Susie almost die with the Rugrats in EuroReptarland? No bitch, I just told you shes already been to Paris! Susie Carmichael always comes correct, and thats what earned her the number two spot.

3. Tommy Pickles

Tommy Pickles is the star of the show, which virtually guarantees him betchiness. Tommy also has the whole dressing like a slut thing down and spends all nine seasons of wearing nothing but a crop top and booty shorts. His outfit never stops him from leading his friend group on adventures, and you know once he can talk and operate a phone hed be the person managing the group chat, suggesting what clubs and parties to go to, making sure everyone is getting the free shots they deserve, and seeing you into your Uber at the end of the night. The thing holding Tommy back from the top spot is that hes too fucking nice. Hell let any baby with shit in their diaper come hang with him (cough CHUCKIE cough), and that means his friend group is riddled with duds (HI CHUCKIE). Be a little more discerning about your friend group, Thomas, and maybe well see you up at the top with Cynthia.

4. Angelica Pickles

We cant talk about Cynthia without getting to her BFF and designated Rugrat BSCB, Angelica Pickles. Angelica spent most of torturing the dumb babies (who were really only like a year younger than her) and making them miserable, yet still somehow being invited to all the group hangs, play dates, and brunches. Angelica spends a lot of time telling everyoneincluding the adultshow beautiful she is and is absolutely desperate for attention, probably because her rich AF parents never pay attention to her. Shes your friend who cries and starts shit at the club anytime she feels like shes not the hottest girl there (and she frequently is notthanks Cynthia!) Also girl, lay off the cookies.

5. Charlotte Pickles

Charlotte Pickles is Angelicas mom who is literally always on her phone. Like, always. Even in a time before cellphones could fit in your pocket, Charlotte is always on the phone with her assistant Jonathan (Cheban? We dont know) and ignores basically every member of her family to do so. When phones dont work, Charlotte straight up makes her husbands brother carry a fax machine around so she doesnt miss any important texts. Charlotte alternates between a power suit and workout gear, always accompanied by an Ariana Grande level high ponytail. In , Charlotte displays clear signs of some seriously botched cosmetic surgery, which is what has dropped her down to slot #5. Never try to cut corners on botox, Charlotte! Itll always go wrong. Honestly, Jonathan should have told you that.

6. Grandpa Lou

Grandpa Lou is another character who gives absolutely zero fucks and is down to hang. Much like Corinne, Lou loves naps and often falls asleep halfway through finishing his stories. Despite his old age, Lou is still a fuckboy, and is often seen hitting on women and generally trying to find ways to get laid. If had taken place in 2017, Lou would have definitely had a Tinder and that Tinder definitely would have had a picture of him from 20+ years earlier. Lou is eventually successful in finding a new wife, Lulu, who he moves in with pretty fast after they start hooking up (risky choice, Lou!) Outside of his strangely active love life, Lou also has many frenemies, including his own cousin Miriam; his bowling rival, Billy Strike Maxwell; and some other wrestling guy named Conan McNulty. This proves that when push comes to shove, Lou is just not very popular and kind of an old perv. Sixth place for you, Lou.

7. Phil And Lil Deville

Okay Im sorry, but Phil and Lil are fucking gross. Their diet is a mess, always eating fucking worms and mud and shit. Do you know how many calories are in a ball of worms, kids? Do you? Seriously. There is a episode where Phil and Lil drink straight-up toilet water. What the fuck is that? Is that something babies do? Phil and Lil also have no creativity when it comes to fashion, and instead just dress alike every damn day in greena color that is flattering on exactly 0 people. Their mom is a hardcore feminist, which is cool, but maybe the twins have been empowered to do a little bit too much. Like sure, Lil can do whatever she wants with her life, but maybe eating a giant pile of shit should not be one of those things? Idk. Seventh place.

8. Stu Pickles

Good Lord is Stu Pickles a sad man. Seriously. You have a beautiful house, two healthy babies, a cool Jewish wife who has managed to maintain her pre-baby body, and youre still fucking complaining! Look around, asshole! You have all this shit despite the fact that your dumb ass hasnt invented one successful toy. In fact, you havent even invented one toy that didnt explode and almost kill your entire family. You are literally #blessed but youre too blind to see it! The only thing keeping you from the bottom slot is this meme which, in the current political climate, is legit all of our lives right now:

9. Chuckie Finster

No. Just no. Im sorry, but again, its gonna be a hard pass on Chuckie. Here are all the things Chuckie would have to improve if he ever even wanted to hope to be betchy. 1) His voice, which is terrible. Do you have a cold, Chuckie? Go to the damn doctor. Its the ’90s. Hillary Clinton has passed the State Childrens Health Insurance Plan. You can go to the doctor. Go. 2) Grow. A. Pair. Dude. You know when Chuckie gets older hes gonna be your friend who calls the cops on his own party for getting out of hand. Hes gonna be that guy who side eyes you for doing molly at Coachella, making weird comments under his breath about how you never know whats in that stuff and generally bringing bad vibes despite the fact that Beyonc is literally pregnant and dancing in front of you. 3) The hair is a problem. Comb it. Dye it. Do something. Its a problem. 4) Tie your fucking shoes, dude. 9th place.

10. Chas Finster

There was no character on television from 1991-2004 that was less betchy than Chas Finster. He has all of Chuckies problems, but he is a fucking adult which means he has literally no excuse for being such a narc. Chas seems to be suffering from whatever health problems are affecting his son, and despite being a bureaucrat, apparently has no ability to get his ass to a doctor either. Like many sad old nerds, Chas must travel to a foreign country to find a wife, eventually convincing a way-too-hot-for-him Japanese woman to fly to America and be his Melania. Chas also has a double-Hitler mustache, which is 100% unacceptable, no matter what decade you live in. Sorry, Chas. Last place.

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from ‘Rugrats’ Characters Ranked By Betchiness