#and to keep me from playing veilguard for the third time

[that-vibe-i-cant-explain]

ok so Mass Effect is pretty fun

[sammakesart]

Castles in the Fade, or What Was the Point of the Veil Anyway

Something that will now haunt me until the end of time is why was the concept of the Veil ever introduced into this series.

We’ve been hearing about it since the very first game. There’s a codex entry about tears in the Veil in Origins. Tamlen mentions a thin spot in the Veil if you play a Dalish elf. Sandal has a prophecy in Dragon Age 2: “One day the magic will come back—all of it. Everyone will be just like they were. The shadows will part and the skies will open wide. When he rises, everyone will see.” Admittedly, this is just one line said by a character who often says odd things, but it hinted to the fact they were planning to do something with the Veil from the very beginning. The state of the Veil is repeatedly brought up. It all had to mean something! Or so I thought. 

When I saw “The Dread Wolf Rises” quest in Veilguard, I said, “Oh, here we go!” The Veil is coming down, magic is coming back, and it’s going to set up such an interesting story for the next game. 

Alas, no. 

I hadn’t really enjoyed my time playing Veilguard up until this point. It felt like the game was ducking and dodging every bit of world building and lore that could possibly bring nuance or complexity to the story. Every returning character or faction was a cardboard cutout of themself. They shoved Solas is a time-out box and gave him nothing to do. They refused to let him have any impact or influence on the story when he had been set up to be our main antagonist back in Trespasser. This game used to be called Dreadwolf! And while we learn about his past… we never talk to him about it. In the present, he’s in stasis.

Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain are our villains. And they are your typical evil for evil’s sake villains. They are mad, bad, and only as dangerous as the narrative will allow as to not give Rook and co too much trouble. They are surprisingly patient while Rook fixes all their companions’ problems… until Elgar’nan moves the moon to cause an eclipse. A vital component in making his own lyrium dagger. For some reason. This guy can move a satellite!? And he just let Rook walk away in previous encounters… twice. Ok. Sure.

The Evil Duo need their own dagger ostensibly to tear down the Veil, because they want to unleash the full force of the Blight onto the world. Because they are evil. And they were thwarted last time they tried to Blight the entire world. Why do they think Blighting the world is a good idea? What’s the point of ruling a world if everyone is dead? I guess they haven’t thought that through, because of the madness and the evilness.

Ok, I thought. Perhaps the gods will be the one to tear down the Veil. Or maybe we’ll have a choice to let Solas do it his way before they can, which will be less chaotic and less full of Blight. Because the Veil has to be coming down one way or another? Why introduce the concept of the Veil, especially a Veil that has been thinning and failing since the series began, if it’s just going to… stay.

There is a principle in storytelling called Chekov’s gun. If something is mentioned in a story, it must have a purpose. If you keeping mentioning that gun hanging on the wall over the fireplace, it’s because at some point in the story, someone is going to take it down and use it. The Veil felt like Chekov’s gun to me. Chekov’s Veil, if you will. It’s been here from the beginning of our tale, the spectre hanging over our protagonists’ heads for multiple games.

The Veil has been a character unto itself. It was the central focus of the third game, and its dissolution was set up to be the core conflict of the fourth game. We learn everything we thought we knew about the Veil was a lie. It was not created by the Maker to separate the Fade from this world because of jealous spirits, it was created by a guy named Solas to trap the elven gods and the Blight from destroying the world. Also, the elven gods were never gods, and they are also evil.

This reveal will surely throw the Andrastian religion into chaos! This puts the very existence of the Maker into question! The Evanuris are a lie; it’s only fair Catholicism—oh, I mean—the Chantry is a lie too. We briefly touch on that in Veilguard… then it is quietly discarded. Religious crisis averted.

But I digress.

When the title of the fourth game was changed from Dreadwolf to Veilguard, I started to see the writing on the wall. Still, I held out hope the Veil would have some greater purpose in the story. That its introduction as a concept was for a reason. That something in this world would change.

Instead, from the get-go, the question of the Veil is no question at all. We only get Solas and Varric making oblique or catastrophizing statements about it. Solas says little beyond he has a plan. If I ever wanted to hear a villain monologue about their plan, it was now! Varric, on the other hand, decries Solas’s plan. He warns that should the Veil fall, it will destroy the world and drown it in demons. And that’s that.

We never really learn why Solas wants to tear the Veil down, or why he thinks it will help anyone. “The Veil is a wound inflicted upon this world. It must be healed,” he says. And that’s basically all he says about it in Veilguard. In Inquisition and Trespasser, we learn it took the immortality from the elves. It cut most of magic off from the world. Spirits are trapped and are being corrupted into demons, and most of what we know about spirits and demons is wrong. There are ancient elves possibly asleep? That part is left vague, but ancient elves are still about. We meet some in Mythal’s temple. There seems to have been some merit in bringing it down, because elves were flocking to Solas’s cause at the end of Trespasser. He had agents working for him already. What do they know that we don’t know?

Apparently nothing, because by the time Veilguard rolls around, there are no mention of agents. He is working alone. His only motivation now seems to be he’s too deep in his sunk-cost fallacy. The Veil is unnatural, so it must be removed—consequences be damned. We are never given any reason to think Solas has a leg to stand on in his pursuit of tearing down the Veil. We never hear any kind of counter argument from anyone, not even Solas, as to why the Veil should come down. We are only told it will destroy the world. It will drown the world in demons. This is all Solas’s fault.

There is no nuance. No complexity. No moral quandary to mull over. The game gives us vague warnings with no explanation as to what exactly is so world-annihilating about the Veil coming down. We must take Varric’s word at face value. We’re the heroes; Solas is the villain. Stop him.

It makes me wonder why Solas was ever a companion in Inquisition, let alone a romance option. Solas was presented to us as a complicated character in Inquisition. We had the potential throughout the game to make him see the value of this world, to help him realize he was wrong about it. “We aren’t even people to you,” the Inquisitor says in Trespasser. Solas replies, “Not at first. You showed me that I was wrong...again.” He began the third game viewing the world as tranquil, seeing the people in it as nothing more than figments in a nightmare, just as we saw our companions in the In Hushed Whispers quest. He ends the game having made friends, having recognized he was mistaken. He might have even fallen in love. (Or he may still seen no merit in this world if the Inquisitor antagonized him the entirety of their time together.) But something makes him continue with his plan to tear down the Veil, despite recognizing this world is real. He must know something we don’t. Something we’ll learn about in the next game.

We’ve been hearing about the Veil for three games now. We’ve set up our complex antivillain for the next installment, and he’s going to tear the Veil down. We swear to stop him or save him. But it has to be more complex than that. It can’t be so straightforward. Uncomplicated. Simple. Boring. Right? Right?

Nope. He really is just the villain, mustache-twirling and all. He apparently had no greater motivation, no as of yet unrevealed knowledge that would put this whole Veil thing into a new context. It was really as simple as the Veil falling will destroy the world, so Solas must be stopped. There is no new information that is revealed which makes us question what we are doing. Solas is never given any nuance or complexity to his actions. Nuance and complexity have actively been taken away. Both him and the Veil are looking like they are the worst things to be in a story: pointless. Why introduce the Veil if it’s just going to remain unchanged? Why introduce a character like Solas, bother humanizing him (for lack of a better term), giving us his backstory, setting him up as a cunning antagonist, only to make him look stupid, then put him on a shelf until the last ten minutes of your game?

Solas was the trickster archetype of this tale. He was our version of Loki from Norse mythology. What is the role of the trickster archetype? To challenge the status quo. To bring about events of extreme change, like say, the tearing down of a Veil that holds back all of magic. Loki is a huge contributing factor in Ragnarök. Through his manipulation, he causes the death of the beloved god, Baldr. This ushers in a long winter, which signifies the beginning of the end. Loki is imprisoned for this crime. When the final battle between gods and giants begins, the sun and moon are swallowed, plunging the earth into darkness. The earth shakes and Loki is freed to fight on the side of the giants. The world burns in raw chaos, falls beneath the sea, and is reborn. The world is remade, and a new realm of the gods and a new, better earth is formed.

It really felt like this was the setup they were going for. Solas causes the death of Mythal, and this is his catalyst for creating the Veil, which ushers in a world without magic. This could be seen as equivalent to the long winter. Solas falls asleep, trapped in dreams. He wakes and sets in motion bringing about the apocalypse. It’s not a perfect one to one, but it’s there if you squint. We have a war against the gods in Veilguard. I was expecting a few remaining Titans to wake and join the fight. But we don’t get any of that. There is a final battle, but it does not end in the end of the world. Or a better world. It just ends, and everything is the same.

It seems our trickster god caused his apocalypse thousands of years before our story started, when he created the Veil. His role in this tale was over before ours began, and he really is just some relic from a long-past age. He has no role, no purpose in this story. He is here to be thwarted. He is no Loki at all.

If you can’t tell, I wanted the Veil to come down. Did I think the Veil coming down would be painless? Have no negative consequences? No. Of course not. But keeping it up has negative consequences too. And it made for an interesting story. Or at least it could have. But we never explore that. The game presents no counter argument to having the Veil stay up, which, again, begs the question: what was the point of introducing the concept of the Veil at all?

Did I think the Veil coming down was actually the best solution to help Thedas become a better place? I don’t know, and I never will, because the game never argues for it one way or another. It just tells you to want it in place and to stop asking questions. In real life, a catastrophic event is not the best way to solve any of the world’s problems. But this is the realm of fiction. We have gods and monsters, magic and myth. We have introduced the status quo of Thedas, recognized it needs to change, then our trickster god appears ready to fulfill his role in the narrative. 

Instead, it all comes to nothing.

I got to the end of Veilguard… and everything was more or less the same as it was at the start of Origins. Veilguard actually tries its hardest to pretend any previously mentioned problems don’t exist, so of course the Veil coming down has no merit. There are no problems to solve in this world, apparently. Solas is just stuck in the past and can’t get with the times. Silly Solas.

The Veil isn’t even a permanent solution. It wasn’t to begin with. It was some duct tape wrapped around a broken pipe, and we’ve just slapped an extra piece of tape on it. It’s still leaking. It is still unnatural, and will fall eventually one way or another. Large amounts of bloodshed weaken it, so I guess Thedas better achieve world peace real quick to avoid any battles. There were seven super-powered mages holding it together… now there is just one. Ironically, the Veil was going to fall after two more Blights anyway. The Wardens were doing Solas’s work for him! It would also have released the full force of the Blight at that time… which Solas was trying to avoid, I presume.

It feels like keeping the Veil up just pushed a big problem onto Thedas’ future generations. We’ll keep slapping bandaids on it until it all falls apart. Someone else can deal with the fallout, but we’ll be dead by then, so who cares.

Primarily, I wanted the Veil to come down from a storytelling perspective. The Veil was an interesting concept and I wanted the story to do something interesting with it. Conflict is what makes stories stories and the Veil coming down could create so much compelling and complex conflict. And the Fade is weird, and I like weird. Stories are also about change, and I wanted to see Thedas change. Yet, Veilguard is over, and barely anything has changed. Instead of magic coming back being a conflict for the next game, they went with Fantasy Illuminati. Oh.

The Veil turned out to be a nothing-burger, and no problems in this world are even close to being solved. Slavery is still rampant in Tevinter. The elven people are still oppressed everywhere. Mages have no more rights in the South than they did in Origins. Spirits are still trapped and being corrupted. The Calling still exists, though might be different somehow now? They don’t really get into that. The Chantry’s validity is still not allowed to be questioned. The Blight still exists in some form, but again it’s vague. Oh, and we learn the dwarves have been gravely wronged, and the Titans are still tranquil. At least if you redeem Solas and a romanced Lavellan joins him, they can work together on healing the Blight and helping the Titans. Oh, good. One problem is being acknowledged and some action will be taken. Offscreen. Hurray? Solas doesn’t have a really great track record of fixing problems, so Lavellan is definitely going to need to be there to make sure he doesn’t fuck it up.

For some reason, this game seemed terrified of letting us think about anything for more than two seconds. It shied away from complexity or nuance at every turn. The game is called The Veilguard—ironically, that word is never uttered in the game—but we are given no real motive for guarding the Veil. We’re unquestionably the hero. The villains are uncomplicatedly evil. Save the world… never wonder what you are doing or why.

I wanted the game to make me question if the Veil staying up or coming down was the right choice. I needed to be given a real counter argument. Convince me the alternative would actually be better or worse, because as I mentioned… things suck quite a bit in Thedas already for a lot of people right now. Let the Veil’s fate be a difficult choice to make. If the conflict cannot be what to do about the Veil, it should be am I doing the right thing about the Veil. If the heart of your game is so thin on motive, everything else falls apart around it.

I hoped they were setting up a complex, Thedas-sized existential conflict for this game in Trespasser, but no. I wanted something to happen, but nothing did. 

I want to feel challenged and changed by a story, not left feeling empty. I’m tired of superficial entertainment. I want to sink my teeth into a narrative that doesn’t paint the world in broad strokes of black and white, good and evil, heroes and villains.

Ultimately, I think my issue is why even introduce a concept like The Veil if you’re not going to do anything interesting with it. Or anything at all. What I thought was Chekov’s Veil turned out to just be a MacGuffin. And that’s disappointing.

[a-driftamongopenstars]

alright, i finally finished Dragon Age the Veilguard.

tldr; 3/10. I didn't like it.

If you enjoyed the game and would rather keep enjoying it, please don't click the read more section as what follows is rather critical.

I can finally sit down with my thoughts and put them together in a more cohesive structured review, touching on most things that I wanted to address. I'll start with positives and then focus on the negatives.

Warning, this is VERY long.

Overall, I had a neutral to negative impression of DatV, which got worse by the end of the game. It had some good moments, but they were entirely unexplored and underutilized, suffering from bad writing. While the game itself is rather pretty, it didn't outweigh the dialogues, the stories and the lore butchering that took place.

1. Environment and visuals. 8/10.

I think Veilguard is a very beautiful game. I enjoyed exploring the corners of this new world, the little bits of environment design and storytelling that it had. It felt magical, certain locations were mesmerizing! I couldn't stop staring at the valley where you go to with Harding, the carcass of a titan.

2. Combat. 9/10.

I love flashy combat, I enjoy hack and slash, so until the very end of the game I was having most fun in combat. Yes there was repetitiveness but I tried to combat (hehe) it with changing my abilities and weapons every now and then. I liked combos and I liked timed parries. Enemy tactics got a bit boring by the end, but a few enemies still surprised me and challenged me.

.... That's where positives end. Now on to the negatives.

1. Characters. 2/10.

I don't understand what happened. Almost all the characters in this game were tuned down to a two-dimensional personality, "good" and "bad" - and absolutely no nuance. This happened not only to the villains, but to the different NPCs and even our companions. Their interests got narrowed down to single points of interest (Lucanis and coffee being a prime example to me), their motivations got watered down.

This is not what I expect from a Bioware game. I want to be challenged, I want to dislike characters or approve of their choices. I like characters who are messy and complex and don't always have their shit together.

I like villains who may have other reasons for their choices, other than "ba ha ha, I am so evil and I will do evil things". Where is Alexius who sold himself to the Elder one, just so he could save his beloved son? Where is Samson, forsaken by the Chantry and turned to red lyrium with his addiction? Where is Calpernia, misguided in her choices, just to free the slaves of Tevinter?

Where are the slaves of Tevinter anyway?? That's another topic.

2. Rook. 4/10.

On one hand, I liked playing Rook. They were stoic but with a humorous side, ready to get the job done, compassionate to other people.

The problem is that it's the only Rook you can really play. The protagonist is set in their ways and their dialogues and there is very little to roleplay. Rook really does feel like a gentle manager, trying to get everyone to play along nicely, while providing therapy every now and then, and is excluded from the majority of friendly interactions with other people. That awkward glance everyone gives you after their banter is embarrassing. The way you can third wheel people, the way the game actively offers you to leave a couple of animated conversations between other people - why even include those? Why not make Rook a part of the 'team'?

I did like Rook's dynamic with Solas. They got to see a different side of him, one that's not presented heavily in Inquisition. But like everything else, it felt surface level and underexplored.

3. Story arc. 2/10.

I am left unsatisfied with the story. The pacing threw me off so much nearly every quest, it was hard to stay on track. From "we need to solve this NOW" to "actually, let's all slow down and deal with our problems", the plot's priorities were all over the place. We kept hearing about the gods and their destructive oppression, but we saw surprisingly little of it. Yes, there was the Blight, yes there were Venatori and the Antaam, but they felt more like a video game fodder and dressing rather than a part of the story.

Not to mention that all of those things made little sense to me. Why would the gods align with aforementioned factions? Why would the aforementioned factions align with the elven gods? In-game explanation was not enough for me, it did not make sense. Not with the established lore in the previous games.

I also did not enjoy the ending. While the idea of Solas binding himself to the Veil is good and does make sense, what was suggested as the good ending (inviting Mythal to deal with Solas essentially) actually left me feeling awful. I sent a man, full of regrets and self-loathing, on a lonely journey to figure himself out. That... did not sit right with me at all. Neither did the fact that Northern Thedas, supposedly the point of the gods' attack, gets to live and flourish, while Southern Thedas is dying of starvation and blight. That is UNHINGED to me.

4. Music. 1/10.

There was no music. I remember one track. It was not memorable whatsoever and I can't believe they hired Hans Zimmer to do exactly nothing. Just wow.

5. Lore. ???/10.

And here is the worst offender. What was done with Dragon Age lore is unacceptable. I was doing a head-in-hands every five minutes. This was a slap in the face of so many fans who enjoyed the three prior games and delved into deep, interesting lore of various races, countries, cultures and religions. Veilguard showed a big middle finger to all that.

Everyone has already touched upon the sanitization of different factions. From the suddenly slaveless Tevinter to found family Antivan Crows, everything has been scrubbed clean and made sweet and palatable and "good".

The Dalish clans have been removed from existence as we know them. The Antaam left the Qun? Don't even get me started on that. The Chantry has no influence in this game? Really? The Chantry? The biggest religion in Thedas? The one that we know has heavy presence in the Anderfels, the Black Divine in Tevinter? That Chantry?

I think it really hit me how disrespectful the game is during the quest of saving the Dalish elves, where apparently Elgar'nan's Venatori, uplifted to be his servants and chosen people, were trying to sacrifice them. It's a gross and oddly telling idea that the ancient Elven god turned to a faction of racist mages to sacrifice elven people. I actually can't believe I'm writing this. Just how much are you going to shaft these people? Mindboggling.

There is a lot more I have to say on this specific topic, and I probably will later, but the idea is this.

6. Romances. 2/10.

Whoever said this is a game with romance lied so hard. So hard. The romance was atrocious. From the badly written flirting to the lack of romantic scenes (I romanced Davrin), to the poorly timed and awkward 'final' romance moment... It was atrocious. I felt no connection between Rook and Davrin beyond what game was telling me. My actual companions got more screen time with their romances than me and my LI.

Damn, even Evka and Antoine, my single most beloved NPCs in this game, had more romance going on that my Rook.

---

All in all, Veilguard was a massive let down. After having enjoyed the first 3 games many times over, with multiple playthroughs, I was so excited to see how the story of the Inquisition, of the elves, would end. When I saw the first trailer for VG, I knew I would never get to see it. When I played the game, I was left with disappointment and disdain.

I'm glad there are people who enjoyed this game, genuinely. I'm sure there's something to find for anyone, but it was not for me. Nor was it for many other people. It was a let down. I feel like I'll never get the conclusion I wanted - so I'll have to write my own I guess.

I have more thoughts on this game that I might be sharing, but for now this is the review I wanted to write. Thanks for reading!

[ekjohnston]

The Book Club Conundrum

One thing really love about reading fanfic for videogames (Veilguard in particular), is seeing all the other in-game mini-story options that wouldn't have occurred to me in a million years. In Veilguard, for example, there is a large component of the fandom that writes Rook as isolated within the team, someone who is always helping but never gets helped in return. It's fascinating because you can do a lot with it, and also because it never would have crossed my mind otherwise.

I have started to call it The Book Club Conundrum, because you twice find book club notes in the Lighthouse where everyone gives their thoughts on a book they've read together. Rook does not give them, which I assumed meant we were supposed to fill that part in ourself (since Rook is the self-insert character, the game writers try to leave as many of their opinions open as possible), but it's very common in fic to read that Rook wasn't invited, and holds at least a bit of resentment for that, and for the way the team bonds around them in general.

As I said: a lot of mileage, which is great for fanfic, because conflict has to come from somewhere.

HOWEVER

Since I imagined Rook at the book club meetings and adding their thoughts, I did it with other examples of team bonding as well. This is particularly important to the "always helping, never helped" component of the argument, because: the team does try. They try so hard.

Most of them take you to a funeral/memorial at some point (Lucanis does it in a Blighted Treviso; if Minrathous is Bighted, you get it twice: once from Neve and once from The Viper. Davrin takes you out to play with a griffon, over and over, which is just as therapeutic). They take you through their grieving process, for new pains and old. They share their traditions. Their grief. Their anger. They wait for Rook to break.

And they never do.

Solas does a lot of heinous things, on all manner of scale, but something I find EXTREMELY fascinating is that he almost fucked up Rook's relationship with their entire team. Rook's seeming denial of their grief is the one thing that no one can break through. It makes them seem cold and a bit uncaring, like they're willing to push through almost everything to get the job done. And of course they are! Willing, I mean. It's a very Dread Wolf sort of lie: just enough truth to destroy everything.

(If you save "Words of Fire" as long as possible, Taash finally just yelling at you is SUPER affecting, lmty.)

In fanfic, I've seen everything from "it's weird that Rook is talking to an empty room again" to "Rook is grieving in their own way" to "Rook hears a weird humming noise every time they think too much about Varric, but can't do anything about it". Sometimes Rook yells at the team for not noticing (Neve notices IMMEDIATELY, fwiw, the same as Solas tells you immediately what he's done. You just keep going anyway), and sometimes the resolution is more quiet.

It's fascinating to me, both as a writer and a reader/player, that the same common start point (Solas being a manipulative jackass "for the greater good"), can have so many divergent paths. It's not just "Rook ignores the team and they all die" or "Rook moves heaven and earth for her team and they all live". There's a lot of space in that second one, and fanfic lets us wallow in what the game sets up.

Veilguard is a game of mirrors, obviously, but it's also a game where all of your companions could have been the protagonist, except all of the good guys are DESPERATELY trying not to be the main character. The villains are all like that too (especially Johanna, who is barely aware the risen gods are there), only they WANT to be the main characters. And that's usually what leads to their downfall.

Varric wrote pulp fiction. The kind reviews denigrate as trashy while millions of people have fun reading them. He wants a main character, a hero he can pin a tragedy on. He made one, and propped up another. Rook was going to be his third, and Solas (accidentally) almost made sure it happened. But Rook gets free of that, wins themself out by sheer friendship and the willingness to move forwards.

And no matter what kind of angst you want to put into your fanfic (and please, continue to do so; I am having fun!) that is pretty great.

[postcardsfromheapside]

So I finished my DA2 replay, and I had wondered if I would feel differently after taking my time with it, and with the perspective of Veilguard. And yes, in small ways I do, but about the series and about Anders, I don't. That is to say: I think Veilguard is a fucking fantastic capper to the series (I mean, pray there is more, "hope for the best, expect the worst" as the Mel Brooks song goes), and Anders is relatably angry, even if the "betrayal" is frustrating and heart-breaking.

Also, there's just too much Dragon Age just the same way there's too much Tolkien, it's just that I can relisten to Tolkien via audiobook while I work and don't have time to constantly replay Dragon Age to absorb every little detail that my broken brain forgets (and I'm pretty good with lore) and I wish parts of this fandom were more curious than scathing about things they've obviously forgotten. Or skipped through, according to some of them, because I guess the context of dialogue and a cut scene isn't necessary for some of them to weigh in on things.

Word vomit of notes below the break:

First of all.

Can these two just fuck already. Watching Cassandra go from throwing him around to absolutely ENTHRALLED by Varric's complete bullshit is just going to make it so much better when I hit the "Guilty Pleasures" quest again in DA:I. This woman is SEDUCED by his story-telling, and you *cannot* convince me he wasn't gagging on his power trip.

Second.

I never played Mark of the Assassin before, and had completely forgotten Felicia Day was in DA2, and laughed like hell. I really enjoyed it. I haven't really used a stealth option in a game since leaving Skyrim for other stuff (do we ever really leave Skyrim?) and it was really fun, but I think the wyvern at the end of the DLC was actually the best fight in the entire game, even more than Corypheus. It hinted at the dragon battles to come in Veilguard. Also, I loved how Anders' dialogue got more relaxed outside of Kirkwall, like shedding the city let him loosen up. The back and forth with Hawke about his fantasy for being rescued was completely unhinged - after I accused Hawke of being feral and lacking social graces, I've decided the two of them match each other's freak and they're fine.

Third.

All the people who were losing their minds about the line "A crow never abandons a contract" and acting like the devs forgot Zevran.

He literally addresses it in the game. I keep having these moments where shit that people bitched about regarding Veilguard is addressed right *there.*

"The crows do like saying that, but I am living proof it's a lie."

No one actually forgot, but I'm sure the Dellamorte's wish to the Maker a motherfucker could.

When people complain the writing in Veilguard is too modern, I'm going to remember Hawke complaining exactly like this. She sounds like I do when I'm side-eyeing my friends in the year of our Maker 2025.

Fourth.

I had planned on romancing Blackwall this DA:I run, finally, because I'm a little obsessed with this Warden throughline from Anders to Blackwall to Davrin. From a cage, to hope/redemption, to a more meaningful path of positive change and impact.

They both haunt Veilguard's narrative and dialogue.

And then of course:

hrm.

Fifth.

I do hope we get another DA. Or supplementary material. Because I want to know what the fuck is going on with this story I had forgotten the details of, especially with the decision regarding the Nadas Dirthalen.

These two fucking idiots. I can't believe in different lives I've schtupped them both. (I can absolutely believe it)

Sixth.

The worst part of Meredith is she sounds like conservative family members of mine. 'Better to punish the innocent than risk even one guilty person go free', rather than the opposite. To them it sounds so reasonable. To us, it's abhorrent to punish everyone else for other people's crimes.

I couldn't bring myself to feel betrayed by Anders, even though I tried to play my Hawke as I think she would have felt: betrayed by the secret-keeping, if nothing else. The shock and hurt at the innocent lives. But it's hard not to feel an understanding when I sit here in a political situation with - maybe not less fraught, but at least less fantastical - implications and certainly still feel like violence is inevitable and we are way past the point of compromise and words.

Anyway.

This dwarf.

[mollfie]

I took notes while playing and I've tried to edit them into something that makes a shred of sense.

Things I like in Veilguard:

Banter can be interrupted, and they'll continue talking. If you repeatedly interrupt, they'll start over from the beginning later on.

The banter also actually made me laugh, especially with certain companion combos. Not always but more often than not.

The companions aren't stuck in their room. You know when someone wants to talk to you or has a cutscene, but you'll also see them hanging out with other companions or just checking out places around the Lighthouse. Makes them feel like actual people with their own stuff going on outside of Rook. But I do wish you could talk to them more. I like bothering my companions. I'm fine with them repeating themselves. Just let me smooch my love interest or chat with my friends and get random flavour text. Is that so much to ask?

I like the orb and smashing enemies in the face with it. I actually prefer it most of the time to using the staff.

Can wear casual clothes instead of armour with no repercussions. Finally, some cute outfits. But not cute enough. Need more. I also miss dying outfits in different colours and dressing up my team.

It's not my fav but it's fine:

I miss being able to smooch my love interest whenever I wanted to. Let me bother everyone more. The romances are fine but I expected more in comparison to previous games.

Everyone hangs out with each other or all together (eat together, bookclub etc) but is Rook even involved? The camping trip scene was so weird. Ferelden is overrun. Where are you going? Why would these two even want to? I could maybe believe Taash being interested because they're adventurous and might be hoping to see a dragon, but even then it's so weird.

Semi related to Taash's personal storyline, I did not appreciate having words put in my Rook's mouth re: her feelings about her gender and I have seen others saying that when they play as an enby Rook it's very "third gender" rather than having any sort of nuance. This is why I'm always hesitant when companies are so proud of being inclusive, it's often so clumsy.

References:

Mage/Templar war was in the South but no one mentions really mentions much about the South. Varric?? Morrigan?? Inquisitor?? There are some letters and a few lines about what's happening but not much. Who got to be Divine, again more of a Southern issue but you think it would come up when talking to Harding or Varric. Drinking from the Well of Sorrrows. Morrigan's son. King Alistair or Grey Warden. Hawke in the Fade. Varric, my man, are we not friends? Harding, you were there even if you were just a scout! Surely you got the hot goss hanging around outside the tavern at all hours.

Surely even people in Tevinter would be talking about how the Inquisitor's old spymaster became the Divine?? Harding sort of mentions it but no one else. The Inquisitor coming along to be like "oh it's a shitshow in the South right now that's why I'm not helping you or trying to find Solas" is so stupid.

The references you do get are fine but some feel strange because they're specific enough for a fan to get them but vague enough to feel pointless because they abandoned the Keep and tracking everyone's choices. I know it's complicated because we've all played the games in a variety of ways but they started it!

I wish we had seen more of the countries. I liked the places we saw and I really enjoyed exploring them, I would have liked to see more though which is a good thing in a way? I wasn't bored by the places we got, more than they were intriguing and I wished to go further. I would have liked to see more of Minrathos outside of Dock Town, for example.

Cameos:

Re: cameos. Dorian's model looks like he got bad cosmetic surgery and veneers. What did they do to you?? However, I also hate how Alistairs looks in Inquisition so maybe I just don't like when they try to update old characters? Morrigan looks fine, but her outfit is ugly. Isabela is fine. Varric and Harding look good.

Are we unable to have cameos of characters (or references), such as Merrill, because the team are blood magic flip-floppers? She knew so much about Eluvians, blood magic, Dalish nonsense etc. She would have been a fantastic edition to the team in Inquistion and in Veilguard but apparently I can't have anything nice.

Romances:

The romances are good but once I picked my person it was weird seeing how Lucanis switched to Neve almost instantly AND how their chemistry was so much better just through banter and listening to their chats. Almost like that's what the writers intended originally and then made Rook an option later? Davrin has a sweet romance and I have heard good things about Emmerich.

Companions:

Still think I should be able to have three people tag along. Yes, it makes them just talk to each other for banter but I liked having three people.

I wish they would bicker more. Some characters are supposed to not like each other (at least for a while) but they really could have leaned into that more. Be meaner. However, saying that some fans couldn't handle Vivienne...

My main issue with all the companions is that they're really good but don't get the chance to be great. I'm assuming because of development issues. Any decent writer would want to make the most of a character. You can see what they wanted to do and what they managed is good. I feel like the writers pulled their punches too much. They could have really leaned into some ideas and expanded on some aspects so much more but didn't. They all needed an extra ten minutes to fully bake.

Taash's personal stuff is fine. It's a little awkward in places but it's nowhere near as awful as people are making it out to be. It's no worse than anyone else's personal storyline or dialogue. A lot of the criticism is over-dramatic HOWEVER I do feel like their struggles were more with their upbringing as the daughter of a strict mother (who says herself that she was never supposed to have that sort of role within the Qun) in Rivain and those two identities cause conflict, and that was really overshadowed. A lot of Taash's struggles with gender make sense when you consider how gender roles function under the Qun (how their mother would have raised them) versus how they are in Rivaini society (what she was exposed to outside of the home). That's not to say they aren't nonbinary otherwise, just that the conflict could have been woven together better.

I also didn't really like the binary choices you were presented with - why do I, a stranger, get to tell any of these people what to do with their lives? I think Rook can have an opinion but there should be a third option for the character to make their own choice, perhaps based on their approval level with you or something to at least feign free will. This felt particularly insensitive when talking to Taash.

I also think some people are forgetting or deliberately ignoring that Taash is not the only lgbt or nonbinary character in the game or the series as a whole.

But, I do also think there are awkward moments (for all the characters too) where I understand what the team was going for but it doesn't quite land right. I would have actually liked a little more focus on what it's like being a qunari in Rivain etc.

Lucanis is supposed to be a big scary mage-killing demon-possessed assassin but once you recruit him he's practically shuffling about in his fuzzy slippers making coffee at 4am. I really like him but I can't help but wish they hadn't sanded down the edges. Having the Crows fight for the little guys is certainly a choice. I would have preferred them go down more of a "these Crows in this particular family think this way" so as not to undermine everything about Zevran.

Other thoughts:

It feels like the backgrounds don't really matter, they're not referenced much anyway. I was a veil jumper so you'd think Bellara would want to chat to me about that sort of thing more but no, not really. Same with race choices. It does come up but not as much as I had hoped. I also miss the tension between races, backgrounds etc. Why am I, a Dalish elf, wandering around Minrathos unchallenged?

Where's Meredith??? We had that final shot in the animated series but that's it???

What happened to Solas' agents and the uprising? I know years have passed but you'd think there's been more turmoil considering 1. the gods are real and 2. they suck

TL;DR

I had a great time playing, and it was really fun. I actually really enjoyed the finale and the game overall. But, I am concerned that this was essentially a soft reboot and so now what? What about everything we did before? What about all those other characters we cared about?

I also think I got lucky by choosing to have my Solavellan Inquisitor and romancing Davrin, just judging my chatter online.

I think if they didn't want those choices to matter then they should have had this game hav a protagonist who has no connection to Southern Thedas at all. No Varric or Harding. Have them being a literal nobody who doesn't know anything about what's going on outside of what they've directly experienced or it's very vague. They were affected by Solas' actions. They're an elf who was an agent until they realised what he was doing. Something. I just... if you don't want to make a game where choices matter then you shouldn't be working on Dragon Age. You should make something new. This was always Bioware's whole selling point and they've just tossed all that work to one side. Who made that decision?

Imagine if we'd been forced into being a specific character, similar to Hawke in DA2, and had to actually decide whether or not to support Solas as we learned about what he was actually intending to do? Imagine.

Origins still has the strongest writing. DA2 is still my favourite. But I do think Veilguard is a good sequel to Inquisiton. Unfortunately for Bioware, this is the fourth game in a series not the second. As a fourth game, there are some really weird choices. On it's own, it's a really good game. I'm still going to get my partner to play some of it to see what they think as an outsider who only knows about Dragon Age via my chit-chat and reblogging.

[kaija-rayne-author]

Some thoughts on Dragon Age Veilguard a couple weeks after playing/reviewing it.

Obligatory disclaimer, feel free to skip to the cut if you've read it.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though, every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

Note: My reviews for DA and my blog posts about DAV in particular aren't edited. I don't have the time, energy, or heart to edit them properly.

It's been 16 days since I finished DAV.

And sadly, my opinion still hasn't changed. Especially after learning about Joplin from my friend's artbook. (Joplin is the original concept and art concepts for the game. It had so much we were all really desperate to see. It was gorgeous. And they scrapped it.)

I don't know why they scrapped it, it was exactly what so many of us wanted.

Honestly? I don't care why. I'm sick of all the excuses people keep making for BioWare turning out such a shitty game.

Were there reasons and difficulties I don't know and will never know about? There usually are.

But those things are honestly irrelevant when it comes to producing a quality product.

I work my ever loving ass off to make sure my books are good. And I don't have a team to help me and a 250 million dollar budget. I do everything myself because I have to.

Indie studios turn out fantastic games with cool worlds, good fighting systems, and interesting monsters all the time. With some help and some budget, sure. But not likely on the scale of what they had for DAV.

I'm both a creator and an editor. When you're making a product for sale, it's incredibly foolish to change a series title too much from what worked before. Sure, fix problems, streamline stuff, but people generally don't play RPGs for anything past the worldbuilding, writing, story, and characters. There's action RPGs, sure. I'm playing one now and loving it (Greedfall).

It's a solid RPG that feels like an RPG. (DAV did not.) The fighting system works. The companions are actually useful. They kill bad guys all by themselves! It's quite refreshing tbh.

When you're creating something for fun, sure, do what the fuck ever you want as long as it isn't harmful to someone else. (Don’t put words in my mouth. By harmful, I mean specifically things like racism, sexism, ableism etc. Not whether someone dislikes the colour green and thinks the word 'triggered' means unhappy or uncomfortable. It doesn't. It's specifically a needed mental health term.)

When you're creating a product for sale, you make decisions. IE. I chose to write a reverse harem series. That's a choice influenced by the business reality that my queer books hardly sell at all.

I still love the characters and world I built, still love the plot etc. But it was still a decision on my part. Because my work of words is my only income. I'm disabled and recovering from a pulmonary embolism. My partner is recovering from a broken back and has at least one, possibly two more surgeries to go. We don't get very much help from anywhere. Money is so tight it squeaks. I'm hoping with the decision to write m/f reverse harem, my sales will improve (They already have with only two books out. Third before end of year.)

So. No. No more excuses for BioWare. They've always, from rumour, had a lot of control over the games they make, even if EA does pollute the studio by owning it.

Someone made the choices that resulted in such a shitty game. Someone approved the terrible (in some cases, racist, sexist, and ableist) writing. Someone thought the editing was just fine (it really really is not).

Someone (likely Epler given what he's said in interviews) decided that it was a good idea to Disney-fie the most recent addition to an adult, dark fantasy game that has historically delivered a lot of horror elements. While somehow condescending to kids at the same time.

Someone decided to remove so many of those dark fantasy elements. It's especially obvious in the not-fucking-darkspawn. They made them goofy, not scary and vaguely horror inspiring. But it's all throughout the game.

Someone made decisions. Those decisions made an awful game.

Someone decided tying your companions' skill points acquisition to their level of bond with you was a good idea. Maybe it looked good on paper. I don’t honestly care. It made it nigh impossible to get them high enough to be actually useful. Meaning your OP character always has aggro. Fine, I guess, if you're a tank player, but what about the rest of us?

Someone decided to remove blood splatter from a freaking BioWare game.

Someone decided to go with that wretched art style.

Someone decided nerfing the rogue class was a good idea. Why even have them? They're just light skirmishers, not rogues. Without, y'know, the rogue skills that make a rogue.

It was a decision, each and every time.

Someone decided everything about that game.

So miss me with the excuses.

I would like actual reasons, but I highly doubt we'll ever get them.

Someone made unwise and often foolish decisions during development of DAV. The results are clear.

Simply by the fact they aren't releasing sales numbers... that indicates it's probably not doing well. Larian basically called their earnings for BG3 out weekly.

It mostly just makes me sad now. DAV could've been fantastic. Because of decisions human beings in positions of power made, DAV, while having some good parts, just sucks.

[rookinthecrownest]

Discussion about romances + expectations under the cut (I'd put it as like..mildly critical, but also coming from a place of understanding?). As usual, will tag as such so you don't have to engage/read on if you don't wish to. I always invite open discussion, just keep it respectful (as I will endeavour to do so myself).

This is going to be a bit of a ramble, so I apologize if my thoughts are not clearly laid out like they should be.

I think I've found the reason why I (and maybe others), feel that the romances in Veilguard feel a bit... idk, hollow, at times (not BAD!!! just feeling like there could be MORE). And that's because of the trap of expectations. I may also be speaking completely for myself here.

Anyway, let's rewind to 2014.

Be me, 10 years ago. You're not really a gamer, but indulge in action RPG's casually.

See a commercial for this hot new game coming out called Dragon Age: Inquisition. Be intrigued by the character designs, but know nothing about the world. Come to find out it's part of a trilogy. So naturally, you buy the first two games and play through them before playing the third.

Be amazed, and completely hooked on the characters, the lore, the world, the darker elements and themes. It becomes your favourite game series of all time.

But you had no idea that you could romance any of the companions going into the experience. And man, does it fundamentally rewire your brain chemistry to fall in love with cRPG and get ridiculously attached to your Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor.

So, you romance Alistair first because he's funny as hell, and has a really interesting story/character arc. Then you romance Zevran, and love that too - he's charming and suave and awkward and funny. Then you go onto DA2 and romance Fenris and Anders, and each of those romances pack their own emotional gut punches. Then it's finally time for DAI, and predictably, you go for Solas (a veritable slow burn that spans TWO games), Cullen, and partially (I never finished those playthroughs lol) Blackwall and Dorian.

I had no idea you could romance companions going into these games. It was a pleasant surprise! It always felt like an important part of the story, while not overshadowing the main plot. There was enough material in the codexes, the cutscenes, and party banter to make each romance feel complete and whole and awesome and nuanced.

And then, like some of you I suspect, I read an article that touted Veilguard as "The Most Romantic Bioware Game Yet", and I thought - "Wow, if they're saying this then the romances must be something else", given the quality of the previous romances you've experienced in these games!

But you get to the game - and while you're having fun, it definitely leans more into the ARPG style where romances feel a bit more pushed to the side in order to tell a certain story than the traditional Bioware/Larian RPG experience you've come to love.

Which is fine! Again, once I stopped thinking of Veilguard as a classic Bioware CRPG, and more like GOW/The Witcher, I found I was able to appreciate it a lot more for what it is. Things have to Happen A Certain Way for the narrative to work, and that's not a bad thing. DA2 was similar - it was a harrowing, personal tragedy about the Hawke family and their struggle to survive in Kirkwall.

Just like DA2, there are aspects of Veilguard that make me glad things happened the way they did. I'm not mad that Rook has so much dialogue without a ton of player input and you can't 'be evil' - because the game doesn't make sense if you can. At its core, Veilguard's narrative is centered around Regret, after all - you can't have an evil protagonist running around because Solas' Regret prison would never work (evil people don't generally tend to regret their actions...)!

Now, if you're expecting a long-winded, fully researched academic breakdown of every romance I'm sorry but that ain't happening tonight lol. This is not based in any fact, this is all opinion.

I can't quite put my finger on it, but sometimes it feels like the romances in this game (and I say this with the biggest grain of salt as I've only done Emmrich and Lucanis' - and am going through Neve's now), are just missing....something, to take them from good to great.

I loved Emmrich's romance. I thought it was very well done. I think a lot of people would agree it's one of the stronger ones in the game - doubly so if you play as a Mourn Watch Rook (you get a TON of MW specific lines going this route, it's great). His side romance with Strife if you don't get together is very cute, I enjoyed it. But as superbly well done as it was, somehow, I wouldn't even put it in my top 4 Bioware romances.

With Lucanis' romance - whatever my hangups may be about how it was handled, certain parts of his romance were done excellently (even better than some of the previous Bioware romances, I'd say). You can read more about my thoughts on his romance here which is why I'm not going into detail about it. Unlike Emmrich's, I would put it in my top 4 because I fell in love with the character that much (both in the game but really, I've loved him since Tevinter Nights), and I've grown very attached to my first Rook and him as a pairing. I've seen others share a similar sentiment on here (and I hate to say it but I agree) - sometimes it feels like I fell in love with Rookanis despite the way it was handled, not because of it. I can't say that for many other romances. While it's been fun to think up a lot of HC/write fics/make art about those abandoned concept sketches and parts where I felt the game could have showed us more of their dynamic, I can't help but feel like his (and other) romances would have immensely benefited from even 1 or 2 extra small scenes to flesh it out a bit more if they weren't going to let us freely talk to our companions.

The issue with the romances might also have something to do with the pacing of the game itself. I think Act 2 is where the pacing goes a bit awry, before picking back up in Act 3 (which is great, I love it).

Sometimes I also felt that there was a little too much reliance on codex entries and party banter to tell the story of the romance rather than showing it explicitly through cutscenes. I think that's what makes the romances feel a bit truncated at times, compared to the previous entries? Some of the romance-specific party banter was so good, it probably deserved its own cutscene. But it's also highly dependent on the party you have, and it's easy to miss/not trigger. I remember absolutely living for the cutscenes in the first three entries and I can't explain why I feel like, subjectively speaking, Veilguard just has less romance content (this may not be objective reality - I haven't compared the amount of romance specific content head to head with other games).

I also couldn't tell you why I feel DA2 doesn't suffer the same problems as DATV in terms of romance interaction - because you can't freely talk to your companions in that game either. Yet somehow, it always felt like I was getting enough of them to not notice that. I do miss being able to chat my LI's ear off and ask them questions about their life/their views/etc. like I could in DAO and DAI. I think it's a shame we can't because the companions in DATV are SO interesting. I want to ask them all a billion questions about their lives/stories/etc even if they're not my love interest. The party banter in this game is immaculate but being able to talk to them individually about this stuff would've been SO nice. I feel that I've missed out on SO MUCH of these characters just because I didn't have two of them in my party at the same time!

Anyway, I need to wrap this up.

In closing, perhaps, if I hadn't read that article about how it was going to be Bioware's most romantic game ... maybe I wouldn't feel this way? I think it sent my expectations through the stratosphere, and that's no one's fault but my own. Not Bioware, not EA, mine.

I know that this game's development cycle was a unique sort of hell that the other games didn't suffer. To go from Joplin -> Morrison -> Veilguard. To have so many of the original staff leave the team when Joplin got scrapped. To have to pivot from Live Service and then back to single person RPG. More lay-offs. It's a miracle this game got made. I'm happy I can sit around thinking about it. And I hope its successful enough that we get DA5 so we can all sit around dissecting that in 5-10 yrs time.

Don't get me wrong - I enjoy the Veilguard romances for what they are. I'm enjoying them more I play and discover additional banter/codex/etc that I missed the first time around. Like any Bioware romance, there are spots where they hit their stride, and spots where they falter a bit. When they hit their stride they knock it out of the fucking park. But when they falter, you can really feel it. Romance is hard to write! And you'll never fully please everyone.

But a small part of me wishes I'd gone in blind, and checked my own expectations a bit.

Maybe you agree, maybe you don't. Tell me about it. What was your experience with the romances? Did you also read that article and get your expectations up?

I hope this makes sense.

Kind regards good fandom folks,

Keep the discussion respectful. And please don't use this post as an excuse to just blatantly hate on the game.

-Rookie

[inariele]

Dragon Age The Veilguard - Final Gameplay Thoughts

Here are my general thoughts on the game. I will gather some more regarding Solas and my Inky for later. I have lots of them but I need more time for that, they are all scrambled in my brain.

Playthroughs: I’ve completed three runs totaling 150 hours.

Romance Preferences:

Lucanis: I romanced him first but gave up halfway because the romance was too slow-burn for me.

Davrin: I romanced him next; it was okay but felt somewhat vanilla. I prefer Davrin's death scene over Harding’s, so I’m unlikely to romance him again.

Bellara: I romanced her in my third playthrough and enjoyed it. She’s a bit like Merrill, and I plan to stick with her for future playthroughs.

Roleplaying and Expression:

I often felt limited by the game’s restrictions on expressing personal opinions, especially since I’ve played suppressed elf characters in previous games. I feel I should have had the option to express strong opinions on the elven gods. Especially as an elf.

Tevinter was not explored enough. I thought we would at least see the male divine or more from the magisters.

No renegade option is very disappointing.

the Inky should have been playable similar to Ciri to walk us through the destruction of the south...the one we spent 3 games saving.

Not utilizing the Keep was definitely the wrong choice.

Rook seems to have a pretty set personality, I prefer my wise and marvelous Inky. Inky as NPC however had pretty much the personality I chose for her so it was not very jarring for me.

Solas’ Memories:

It feels tragic that I can’t talk with Solas or the Inquisitor about Solas’ memories. There’s a bit of irony, though, since in a sense, the Inquisitor has learned about Solas' background. His personal quest describes how he came into the world, so in a way, the Inquisitor knows part of his story without knowing the full truth.

Exploration and Combat:

I really enjoyed the exploration and combat in Dragon Age Veilguard; they’re my favorites of all four games.

Ending with Solas and the Inquisitor:

While I didn’t like the ending execution with Solas and the Inquisitor, the romance ending comes close to what I imagined, including the idea of them going back into the Fade.

I believe Solas, as the protector of the spirits, ties in well with Mythal staying in the waking world as its protector, and with that ending their connection.

I don’t think the prison is holding them forever.

Graphics and Hair Physics:

The game is visually beautiful, and the hair physic is amazing.

I will never get tired of the hair.

THE HAIR! I want it for inquisition

[snapsnzips]

The end of an era, or a lifetime

The many flavors of grief and coping

Playing through Trespasser for the second time, talking with Leliana especially, where she talks about her memories from Origins and before, takes me all the way back too 2010 when I played Origins for the first time. She was beautiful in her baby-faced earnestness. I've loved having her in my DA:I life so much.

I know I still have Veilguard to play through, but, as of this writing, the Veilguard/Bioware team is disbanded, mostly fired. There won’t be any more Dragon Age and I grieve. It’s strange because I didn’t think at all about Dragon Age for 10 years or more except in nostalgic terms. But I’ve rediscovered my love for the lore and stories of Thedas and I grieve that just as I rediscover it, it’s ending.

I'm still processing my grief and other emotions from playing through Inquisition in December and those feelings are all jumbled up with these feelings.

I played through Inquisition 4 times in a row and it's still what I want to do at night when my brain is too tired to do anything else. I open up the game and walk around Thedas with my friends. I know it's time to move on and let them rest but it's really hard to give them up.

This last fall/winter I did this:

Did a thorough playthrough of Origins and realized I still remembered everything, even dialogue responses.

Did a half assed playthrough of Awakening because I wanted the blood magic tome to do another playthrough as a blood mage in Origins

Started a playthrough of blood mage origins and got bored, moved on to my first ever playthrough of DA2

Made it halfway through DA2, realized I had some wrong outcomes from my origins import and became increasingly anxious because I hadn't paid as much attention as I should have in Awakening (Anders...) and also Nathaniel died because I guess he didn't have enough gear in end game.

Restarted Origins for a meticulous playthrough of Origins and Awakening. Both for the lore and to get the Nathaniel quest. If I knew what I know today, I'd have put Anora on the throne and kept Alistair for myself so I could see him more in DA2. Alas, I can't live through another playthrough (although I set it up like that in my Dragon Age Keep for import into DAI for maximum heartbreak).

Restarted DA2 for a full playthrough, had my heart broken by Anders

Started Inquisition, hated it, went back to DA2 some.

Replayed DA2 a few weeks later when it went on sale on Steam and I could play the DLC (I was playing on my original pre-order disc from 10 years ago).

Went back to DA:I, modded most of my issues away, started playing it and eventually fell in love with it. The Dawn Will Come will always be a truly iconic moment for me. Eventually had my beating heart ripped out of my chest by my romance choice, skipped the other DLC because I needed to play Trespasser instantly for my mental health.

Instantly started a new game so I could get the romance Cullen and I both deserved

Played a third time as a human woman for something different, because I wanted to experience the Iron Bull romance.

Started a 4th playthrough as my canon elf to do a completionist run (I'm 67/69 achievements now too) and start recording footage for therapeutic video making

I actually just finished an EM/Dorian romance playthrough, with just bare minimum power so I could see that story as well.

Dance with Dorian mod. Worth it.

I'm still working on footage for some music video ideas I have and it's really hard to let this game and these characters go. I spent this weekend researching and modding ME1 Legendary because I've never played that story. I'm not sure I'm ready to make new friends yet. But I feel like I need to try.

I'm avoiding Veilguard because I don't think I can care about a new player character. I only care about closure for my Inky. Until I can care about this Rook person and their friendships and connections, I will wait. Surely the emotional hold my inquisitor has over me will fade with time. Won't it?

[lairofdragonagelore]

Hi, I really like your lore pages! I've been trying to figure out what DA The Veilguard Bellara's Dalish tattoo is related to, the one primarily on her forehead. Usually they represent one of the elven gods, but hers doesn't look like any of the gods tattoos I've seen. Though I have not found any tattoos for the Forgotten Ones, so it's possible it could be from there. Though those gods are considered to be evil. Any ideas?

Hi!

Hers and the Warden companion's Vallaslin look like things we didn't see before, which made me feel very suspicious about how much this new game will end up breaking lore just to make it look cool or just to pursue a "shock effect", narratively speaking.

Davrin, in any case, seems to be a retcon redesign of Falon'Din's or Dirthamen's or Ghilan'nain's Vallaslin [check Evanuris], which I hate, you can't really decide which one among those.

Why do they have to redesign these Vallaslins again? They claimed that "every Dalish clan developed their own vallaslin" since they are not a very homogeneous community and each Keeper ends up modifying their "ancient history" in order to obtain some desired effect: keeping the young people of the clan safe, making the clan less reckless in some explorations, helping the clan with some mourning process, etc. After all, DA lore teaches us that legends and cultural symbols are conquered, used, co-opted, and modified in order to obtain some political or social benefits/effects [you can explore these concepts in Dragon Age Iconic Patterns: The Sun or in The Chantry and the Mythology of the Chant of Light]. I don't think the Dalish would be an exception to this natural process that even happens in our real life history. This, on one hand. On the other hand, even when something evolves and is co-opted and modified, you can trace their origin; you can see the source that inspired it. Pretty much we can see this on a design level in the Dalish Banner in DAI, for example: compare it with the Elvhenan Banner and the Orlesian decorations you find in all Orlais [see Patterns and Styles: Orlais],

and you will see that the Dalish banner is a combination and amalgamation of both, testament of their Elvhenan culture influenced strongly in the Dales by the Orlesians during the time of the Halamshiral [when humans and Dalish tried to co-exist before the Exalted March on the Dales]. And this is a single example, DA lore has tons of them. I don't see this process in these new companions' Vallaslin. I feel, with all the ignorance we have about the Veilguard, that they may have retconned the dalish vallaslins just "to make them look cooler" once again, and put a cheap explanation: Dalish clans are not a monolith, [which is true], but they are not modifying all their own lore extremely apart from what they consider their "true history", aka the unreliable Dalish legends. After all, we know via Merril, that all clans try to gather once every few years to exchange knowledge and relics; they have mechanics to still keep their own "culture" as one with slight modifications. So far as we played all games of DA, we know that every Dalish considers their Vallaslin as something to be proud of and, with the lore given by game files or Bioware itself [they gave us all the Vallaslin's names in DAI], we know that these are related to the Evanuris. So, we can fairly assume Dalish see it that way: they are honouring their gods.

However, in DAI, we were told that the Vallaslins are marks of ownerships on slaves, and we also know, due to Bioware and game files that they belong to the Evanuris so far. Even Felassan's [Felassan and bits of lore] is Mythal's Vallaslin. So, in conclusion, so far, we always have been seeing and being informed that these Vallaslins were related to Evanuris, who [according to Solas shared Lore Part 2] put this mark on their slaves/servants.

Her Vallaslin is basically an aesthetic third eye, symbol of knowledge and insight, which is a very cheap design detail for her characterization, in my personal opinion. Why could she not use a variation of the one of Dirthamen one, for example? Even the retconned design of the Vallaslin from DAO to DAI have some resemblance, one another. This feels like a "whatever cool symbol we can put on her face".

Could Bellana's Vallaslin belong to the Forgotten Ones? Maybe, if you read all my posts, you may know that I've been playing with the idea that the Evanuris may have worshiped the Forgotten Ones first, who were dragons, and once the Evanuris acquired power [divinity] through the use of Titan's blood and other unknown elements extracted from them, they chased the Forgotten Ones [Andruil in particular], forcing them to hide in the "Abyss", a word we have seen many times in all the games to be related to places deep into the Deep Roads [complete analysis here: Attempt to rebuild Ancient Elvhenan History ]. But the Evanuris not only took divinity power for themselves, they wanted to have the divine shape ["winged shape reserved only for the Divinity and their chosen ones"], and I think it's not too far-stretched to think that they co-opted all the symbols of their previous "ancient gods" to become Gods themselves. Remember that Solas doesn't say "vallaslins are marks of the Evanuris", but "of the gods that nobles worshiped" and yet the Dalish kept the name of the Evanuris attached to them:

Solas: I've discovered what those marks mean. Inquisitor: They honour the elven gods. S: No. They are slaving markings, or at least, they were in the time of ancient Arlathan. I: My clan's keeper said they honored the gods. These are their symbols. S:Yes. That's right. A noble would mark his slaves to honor the god he worshiped. After Arlathan fell, the Dalish forgot. I: We try to preserve our culture, and this is what we keep? Relics of a time when we were no better than Tevinter? S:[…] You deserve better than what those cruel marks represent.

But can we question if these marks are truly from the Evanuris? Maybe the Dalish got this wrong too. The answer seems to imply that no, this part was correctly preserved: we had this curious example in Orlais where an elf who visited an old Temple of Mythal when he was a child had a dream during DAI in which Flemeth talked to him, and he woke up with the Vallaslin of Mythal on his face [I talked about this in Until We Sleep]. So we can be more or less sure that Mythal's Vallaslin is the one that the Devs gave us in DAI. Flemeth applies it on this new servant. Could this apply to all Evanuris? Well, that depends, since I don't know if it is Mythal the one who has double nature [Forgotten One and Evanuris] instead of Solas [I talked about this point all over my blog, many times].

However, it's also true that the tabletop core book [so questionable if its information is canon or not] says that some Dalish clans from the Tirashan forest wear red [blood based] Vallaslin and perform human sacrifices, and they are told to be related to rituals of the Forgotten Ones.

So far, we only know unreliable legends about the Forgotten Ones, as vague as they are, and only in the last DLC we may have found one of them, Geldaraun, who was, curiously, a dragon [read Frostback Basin [DLC]: Elvhen Tomb and Frozen Gate]. So, in general, Forgotten Ones are an immense mystery in all DA lore, and no game, comic, or book put a bit of light on this topic. It's as obscure as it was the first day.

On the other hand, and trying to debunk myself, we also have the example of Merril's Vallaslin, which was unique [maybe because they wanted to make her more unique herself? hence "let's made out a vallaslin out of nowhere"?], but also we can excuse that it was inherited from DAO [a game with a lot of visual difficulties, for example, they were unable to make the sun-mark on the tranquils' forehead, even though they knew it had to be there, lore-wise] and later, in DA2, we even find strange inconsistent vallaslin used on some elves that make no fucking sense [for example Huon, the blood mage elf who wears a castless dwarven mark on his face, is a blasting, enraging big wtf, lore-wise].

So, in short, can those strange Vallaslin be a representation of the Forgotten Ones? Maybe, we know so little about them that we can't truly answer with certainty.

We really don't know if the Forgotten Ones were evil, we only know that the Evanuris clearly made a big effort to erase them from History and indoctrinated their slaves to prosecute anyone who wanted to follow the Forgotten Ones [Pyre of the Forgotten]. Can we be sure that something is Evil just because the Evanuris considered so? We know Solas' story with Fen'Harel, and how the Evanuris saw him: as a rebel, a danger, someone you should not follow, and yet, Solas and the idea of Fen'Harel is a lot more complex and less evil than what the unreliable legends of the Dalish tell about him. So I have my doubts if someone or something is Evil just because the legacy of the Evanuris tells us so.

We only can glimpse a level of rivalry between Forgotten Ones and, at least, some of the Evanuris in Geldauran's tomb [read Elvhen Tomb]. We don't even know if the Forgotten Ones were elvhenan. Hence, all my speculation about them being Great Dragons. We only know three names: Geldauran, Anaris, and Daer'thal. Fen'Harel is considered a Forgotten One according the unreliable Dalish legends but I have my doubts, since Solas claims he has always been this elf you see, even though there is another part of him wandering the Fade [according to Cole's words]. However, Mythal is the only one of the Evanuris who has 2 different versions of her mosaic: one in elven form [a mother] and another in dragon form. If for a moment you consider the speculation that the Forgotten Ones were dragons, Mythal seems to fit better this dual condition than Solas. As you can see, my answer is very cautious, and basically I can't say much about these Vallaslin that they brought me a bit of worry of hardcore retcon. That's all what I can say with certainty. If they make a good in-lore explanation that justify these two strange Vallaslin, we may be in peace. Otherwise, it should be yet another retcon we have to endure, as we did with previous games. Although, DAO consistency is super low because the immense amount of visual difficulties they had, so DAO always sucked at environmental telling; DA2 and DAI are a lot more consistent one another [despite the difficulties that DA2 also had!], except with the Qunari lore, which was changed each time in each game, unfortunately.

Update: In Interview with John Epler, we learn that Bellara's Vallaslin is, indeed, Dirthamen's [??? wtf] and Davrin's.... Epler doesn't even remember the name of the god. So yes, imagine how careful they are with the lore details. I mean, we can only need to listen to the podcasts to realise they were absolutely careless with lore in the majority of the time. All these symptoms are giving me Marvel-like vibes from a game that should be the opposite.

[crowsintheforest]

2024 is now over, for better and for worse. it's been a hell of a year: switching careers, leaving the academy, going back to uni in a fully different field, getting a fulltime job that I start on Monday, starting up my goodreads account again--

all of which means it's time for my annual top 10 of things that I enjoyed the very most out of the whole year! unfortunately I'd been using cohost to keep track of my weekly media usage, and well, that site went a lil bit kaput. hopefully 2025 I do a better job of keeping track of these sorts of things.

without further ado, thoughts etc. under the cut.

end of year top 10 tag

yatagarasu: the raven does not choose its master (pierrot): out of this whole list, if you only experience one thing, it should be this. a court drama set in the fantasy world of the yatagarasu, giant three-legged ravens who can also take human form, the first cour follows two interlocking stories: yukiya, a young man who's the adoptive son of a rural lord roped into serving the crown prince, and asebi, one of the four women in the running to become the prince's new wife. it's got twists and turns, a fully realized world, and spectacular character and plot. highly recommended.

alan wake 2: night springs dlc (remedy entertainment): yes, yes, I put aw2 on my top 10 last year, but see, this is THREE alan wake dlcs in one! which is chock full of remedy's wild-ass ideas, from rose the waitress's uh....unique take on mr. scratch (matthew poretta's line readings are best of the year), to the bonkers story starring Actual Real Life Actor Shawn Ashmore that needs to be experienced. also, makes me think that maybe integrated universes aren't totally lost? didn't think that was possible. also, one of the best bops of the year with the theme song. speaking of which...

brat (charli xcx): is it the best album of the year? no. is it my favorite? probably yes that's why it's here. "sympathy is a knife" is my favorite song of the year

worlds beyond number: this beat out dimension 20 for my favorite actual play of the year, and it wasn't even close. I adore this podcast so very much. come for the longform storytelling of "the wizard, the witch, and the wild one," stay for the balls-to-the-wall chaos of "space cram."

tidal creatures (seanan mcguire): middlegame is one of my favorite books of all time, and the third book in the series feels like a return to form, overlapping a murder mystery, the weirdos you meet around college campuses, and multiple mythologies around the moon. good stuff.

dandadan (tatsu yukimoto, anime production by science saru): just a few things in dandadan: aliens! ghosts! demons! kaiju! sex comedy! jumanji! true love! giant robots! ranma 1/2! and teenagers falling in love and making friends! the manga slaps, science saru is doing impeccable work on the anime, and I cannot WAIT for more.

dragon age the veilguard (bioware): this game feels like coming home to a warm bath after a really long and not always successful bathroom renovation, if that makes sense? sure, it's not top 5 bioware games, but it does have a strong plot, fun characters, combat that surprised me in not sucking horribly, and one of the best act 3s in bioware. also the best boys of 2024: assan the griffin and manfred the skeleton.

star trek: lower decks (paramount+): what an ending to lwd, my favorite modern trek crew, and it's not even close. cerritos strong.

witch hat atelier (shirohama kamome): these girls have done nothing wrong in their lives, I love the magic system almost as much as I love the gorgeous detail on the artwork, and I fear for when the anime comes out and the internet gets another Sad White Haired Anime Teacher Man to moon over.

genshin impact (hoyoverse): yes I'm just as mad as you that the weeb video game is on this list. damn you hoyo for making a game this good. anyways I gotta go get primos to try to pull mavuika now so bye

[sarasa-cat]

I want to get back to Veilguard soon now that it is February and I have "time" for gaming.

Have collected everyone, but probably still in act 1. When I last left off, I had started the first companion quest for Taash and I think Emmrich had just finished setting up his room in the lighthouse and maybe his first companion quest became available too.

So....

My Shadow Dragon Rook made a decision (you know which one) that cut off any chance of a Lucanis romance which, honestly, was what I wanted for her in this game. Hm.

There is definitely a vibe developing between my Shadow Dragon Rook and Neve ... although she feels like a third wheel when Lucanis is around and, like, yeah, she really *wanted* to romance him but now it is all **whomp whomp whomp** saaaaad trombones.

Meanwhile, Emmrich looks like a very interesting romance but I'm just not feeling it for these two characters and want to make a Mourn Watch Rook Goth Nerd **just** for him.

(Honestly, I like making Rooks even if I don't end up playing them ahahahaha lol. it cannot be helped.)

So. It is decision time:

1. I can continue my current playthrough with my Shadow Dragon and just sort of fall into a Neve romance despite all the weirdness (which makes for interesting headcanon tbh).

2. I could back up a good bit in the game to make The Other Choice and then pursue the Lucanismance as planned AND be forced to make up some interesting headcanon for why she lets her home town burn.

3. I can keep my current playthrough as is and push her into a romance with Emmrich even if it feels awkward and I'd rather make a different character who makes different choices just for him. Nope, I definitely have a Rook & a world state in mind for Emmrich.

... While the ultimate situation would be Play ALL The Rooks, the reality is no. Life is busy, games are many, and I realistically only think I can guarantee two runs through Veilguard so I can see how different major events play out.

Despite some of the Rooks I have made so far, I think I am really only interested in playing a Shadow Dragon, a Mournwatch, or an Antivan Crow Rook.

Realizing now that aesthetically, I do want to do is NOT have a shadow dragon/shadow dragon and a crow/crow as my two world states. I want some tension in making That Decision. But I might just want to put that off for a second full run through.

Maybe I'm restarting (facepalm facepalm facepalm) with a new Rook (after all, it been a long while since I touched the game) who is a Mourn Watch and Emmrich is her kind of catnip. And I honestly don't really care what kinds of decisions she makes for the rest of the game. She'll make decisions as they happen. (Note: I am partly spoiled on a lot of the game but more in vague one-liner descriptions of the spoilers rather than in-depth knowledge).

Then, at some later point, I'll roll back my Shadow Dragon to *before* that big decision that cuts off Lucanis and proceed from there.

Time allowing, at some point I will make a Crow with epic cheekbones who will romance Neve. Because I do want a Nevemance playthough.

Also: this is sort of a rare moment for me with Dragon Age games. Normally I am interested in romance either 1 and only 1, or 0 of the romanceable characters (when playing as a female PC without romance-unlocking mods).

This is a rare Dragon Age game where at least 3 if not more of the characters interest me as romances. That said, this is also more of a "cosy dragon age game" for me rather than a Politically and Philosophically Charged Dragon Age game (I still prefer DAO/A and DA2 overall).

Le sigh.

If only I had more free time for gaming and less games in my Play Me Now queue.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Controversial Opinions About Mass Effect and Dragon Age

-Ashley Williams has a fantastic character arc in the Mass Effect Trilogy where she moves past her racism in the beginning because she realizes she’s wrong.

-The Council had every right to be suspicious of Reapers in Mass Effect the original game. It sounds far fetched. Similar the attempt to bring the vision into play by Anderson was a bad idea.

-I don’t agree it’s cheating in the second game to move on from Kaidan or Ashley but in particular I don’t think it is with Kaidan when he basically says I was kinda seeing someone.

-Kaidan and Ashley have every right to be suspicious of Shepard in the second game and a bit in the third. They go a bit far at times but aren’t bad people.

-Kaiden’s romance brings me to tears and it’s just as amazing as Garrus’s.

-Jacob’s romance isn’t bad. What’s bad is how they took the black love interest and made him into a cheater. Look I think having a cheater as a love interest was bad in itself but this was just gross.

-Killing or saving the Rachni is a morally grey choice because we only have the Queens words that she will be peaceful. How can we trust that in itself? We can’t- it’s almost impossible. While yes genoicide is bad, as far as anyone knows this is a race that attacked without hesitation and wouldn’t stop.

-Saving the council is a morally grey choice.

-Inquisition is the most boring of the Dragon Age Games.

-Anders was right but he’s also a dick in general. Both can coexist

-The First Warden had every right to not believe Rook in Veilguard. It sounds crazy no matter what. His fear during the siege later is understandable. He’s just also a dick.

-The choice to make the Gloom Howler Isseya was stupid as fuck. If you wanted to combine this, it would make more sense she isn’t invested in Blighting the Griffins but in keeping the Wardens away from them.

-Cullen’s redemption sucks.

-Alistair is a lot more selfish than you realize. He’s not a bad person but when you replay the game enough you pick up on the fact he’s got a view of the world that when rocked he gets aggressive. He gets over it though.

-Anora is a great Queen who got shafted by her father in her grief.

-Loghain isn’t a bad man. Just a very selfish one who cannot move past his trauma which leads him to horrible choices.

-Sebastian is a broken and abused man who has been led around by the Grand Cleric for years.

[moltensmusings]

Okay it's been a month so, spoilers for vielguard I'm going to talk about factions.

Starting: I love this game. It feels like DA2 mixed with ME2 only far more polished than DA2 got to be with the crunched timeline. So my criticisms are not out of me being disappointed with the game. I've replayed it twice and am midway through my third.

I definitely think the factions could've used a bit more polishing.

The Crows felt very sanitized and people go "well zevran was probably unreliable" except that we still have all the Crows admitting training was fully torture and that children are trained to be killers. Now I've mentioned before that Zevran leading this group and keeping the name out of spite could've been a super easy fix, the alternative is that the Crows are genuinely shitty people with rook being an outlier who wanted to do better. It would've required some changes to Lucanis, but honestly luncanis did need more work on his story overall so it would be for the better. Lucanis and rook clashing on ideals but still working together could've been interesting, especially if Lucanis got to deconstruct over the story.

The lords of fortune is another group that definitely suffers from just general lack of content. Most factions have specific npcs you meet on missions across the game that you get to know, and LoF only has Isabela. Now don't get me wrong I love my girl, but beyond her outfit itself feeling very lazily designed, especially compared to her concept art pieces, she really doesn't do much beyond Taash's side quest and being the one you speak to about the pit fights. I think adding one more person for her to play off and giving her a bigger role would've been better, or just keep her role the same and give us 2 npcs to spend more time with.

The veil jumpers I know are a canonically young faction having started only a few months prior to veilguard, and I kind of wish they initially were a bit at odds with rook. Demanding proof and examples to back up their claims the elven gods are blighted and evil and on their way to wipe things out. I don't want the dalish to just be antagonistic but a dalish led organization so easily accepting their gods as horrible feels odd to me. I think a few of the side missions being done to reinforce rook's claims could've been great and maybe even have it be that bellara tentatively joins because she wants to believe you're being honest but still has her doubts and her love of her gods pulling her away.

Shadow dragons, wardens, and arguably mourn watch were the best handled groups in my opinion though I do wish we got a few more missions in the Necropolis to really interact with Myrna and Vorgoth and just in general feel more tied to it.

In all I do love the game, but there are elements that could be stronger.

[arlathen]

personally i'm trying not to be a hater and definitely not trying to dunk on others opinions of the game so far, but I'm just having a really hard time looking forward to anything bioware is putting out rpg wise because it already feels so hollow of what the other dragon age games did in terms of story/characters/companions as well as the personalization of the story our characters are in. I wish I was better with words because it's not that I'm not excited, I just love these games and the world of dragon age so much and im tired of that not being reflected by those actually making the game, it's like they just ignore giant parts of it. I'm not sure if nostalgia for the first three games is just keeping me from being excited about veilguard, but idk I just wanted to get my thoughts out sorry for the word block

aw that's okay! everyone is entitled to feel a certain way. my relationship with dragon age is a little different than a lot of peoples' because i played them all at once right in a row -- so it all feels like a natural evolution. origins mechanics evolve into 2's mechanics evolve into inquisition's mechanics. and personally, i DO feel like veilguard's mechanics look like an evolution of inquisition's mechanics.

so. way back in my day (2012-2014) i was a somewhat popular gifmaker in the sherlock fandom and i *joined* that fandom right after the second season aired. the sherlock fandom was in its heyday during the gap between the second and third season and were notorious for being wacky and zany and writing a lot of in-depth meta about how the cliffhanger from the end of season 2 would be resolved. and when it was resolved, it sucked. they did it way worse than fans had imagined.

so i also have that instinct. all these very smart fans of the game have spent ten years imagining how they're going to resolve this. i've imagined hours of what my perfect resolution would look like. veilguard is inherently going to be less tailored to my tastes than what i imagined, and so i might perceive it as worse than what i was promised and feel let down. i have a strong opinion that this is what happened to cyberpunk 2077 on release -- it was so hyped for so long that everyone imagined their perfect game, and when it wasn't exactly what they imagined, that made it worse in comparison.

but then there are parts of it that are cooler than i imagined, too. even from just what we've seen.

the two games bioware has put out since inquisition are mass effect andromeda and anthem. and both of these games are, imo, special cases for different reasons. andromeda was primarily made by bioware montreal, not bioware edmonton -- different, inexperienced team. and anthem was.... i mean, it was anthem -- bioware is good at story driven single player action rpgs. anthem was a destiny clone. from what i've heard (i did not play it) the mechanics of it were fun-ish (like, flying the actual mech suits) and i've seen that the game looked beautiful. it was just tedious and repetitive and was designed to fuel microtransactions.

so the key failings in the games that have come since -- multiplayer game not in their wheelhouse and not being built by the main bioware team -- are both being averted in veilguard. it's an entirely offline experience made by the devs we know. many of the most hated parts of inquisition, in fact, they have said they cut out (big empty open worlds where you need to collect 100 silverite). i've said before and i'll say again that it really, really feels like bioware have looked at the criticism they have received and tried to course correct as best they could.

and that does inspire confidence and optimism in me, personally. it isn't going to be exactly like how you're imagining -- for good or for bad. i'm tempering my expectations in line with that, myself. i know that no matter what we're going to meet new cool companions and get to kiss 'em (this is important to me). we're gonna get a whole bunch of new lore (this is also important to me). and we're gonna put an end to my egg boyfriend's misery one way or another (this is most important to me).