#and why he's a problem for Victor Alice and Smiler

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer In The Dark -- Meet Lord Nathaniel Rowan

Hello everyone -- today, I would like to introduce you to someone who has accidentally become important to my Valicer In The Dark verse: Lord Nathaniel Rowan! Now, I've mentioned this dude's name a couple of times in previous posts -- most notably my first in-depth post on scores and story ideas for the verse -- but as he's become an occasionally-recurring antagonist for my trio as I come up with more scores for them to pull and things for them to do in my version of Duskwall, I figured we might as well have a proper post telling you all about his deal. So here we go --

-->Lord Rowan technically comes straight from the Blades In The Dark book itself -- there's a couple of mentions of the family name in the text in various places. The most significant one, and one that grabbed my attention first and made me realize that I should include him as a character in the Valicer In The Dark series, is in the write-up for the Six Towers district near the end of the book. Not only is Rowan House mentioned as being one of only two of the original six towers still standing (the other being Bowmore House), Rowan House gets its own entry as a landmark in the district (page 276):

Rowan House. One of the last of the original six towers, this antique building resembles an ancient castle from history books, complete with moat, draw-bridge, and arrow-slit windows. The powerful Rowan family rules their holdings from within the fortress, rarely venturing beyond the security of its thick stone walls.

AKA, Rowan House is the "giant bloody castle" Alice mentions as making her think they'd gone the wrong way when the gang first entered Six Towers in Chapter 6 of "Start At The Beginning...Sort Of." XD Given that Six Towers's whole deal is that it's a formerly-fashionable district that fell into poverty and ruin once all the rich families left, leaving their homes to either rot abandoned or be converted into cheap tenement housing, I was rather intrigued by the fact that Rowan House was explicitly said to still be occupied by an actual lord (Scurlock Manor, in the same area, may have a tenant, but it's not Lord Scurlock himself, just some "nephew or cousin" who may not even have a proper title, and Bowmore House is only mentioned as being still standing, so...). I figured there must be a reason for the family to still be living there --

-->Cue me hitting upon the idea of making Lord Rowan the literal landlord of all of Six Towers! Somebody has to be in charge of all the apartments there, after all! Basically, once all the other lords in the area started abandoning Six Towers for the more fashionable Brightstone, the Rowan family sensed an opportunity and snapped up as many estates as they could get their hands on. They then converted these estates into cheap apartments and lured in as many of the poorest in the city as they could. The family has thus controlled pretty much all the real estate in the district ever since, with Nathaniel being the latest to take over the day-to-day duties.

-->As for other members of the family -- in the "Factions" section of the book, there is a mention of an "Elder Rowan" who is a leader in the Church Of The Ecstasy Of The Flesh (the "state religion," which venerates a healthy body and abhors the spirit; the higher-ups are secretly trying to find ways to turn themselves into soulless demons, who they consider to be the ideal life forms), and a member of the family also explicitly sits on the City Council (the group of elites who essentially run the government, along with the Lord Governor -- the other councilors include members of the Bowmore, Clelland, Dunvil, Penderyn, and Strangford families). As the City Council entry mentions that all the members are also high-ranking adepts in the Church Of The Ecstasy Of The Flesh, I'm thinking of making both Rowans the same guy -- Lord Gregorious Rowan, Nathaniel's father, who has given up his landlord duties to pursue ascension into demonhood all the faster and find a way to take down Lord Strangford, who he doesn't trust as far as he can throw him. I'm also thinking of giving Nathaniel an older brother, Graham, who fulfills the traditional "heir to the lineage" noble duty of captaining a leviathan ship (as being the source of the leviathan blood that helps power everything in the city is one of the major ways all the noble families keep their power). Neither of them would be anywhere near as important as Nathaniel to my stories, but it's good to know where the guy came from and where he sits in the family line.

-->As for Nathaniel himself -- well, dude's an asshole. XD Much like his father before him, Nathaniel does not care that his kingdom is one of rot and ruin, with crumbling roads, broken streetlamps, and hauntings everywhere. All that matters to him is that it is his kingdom, and the people there must do as he says. Accordingly, his apartments charge the most he can get away with, while providing only the barest minimum necessary to keep people alive. A lot of his buildings don't even have heat or working lights, and the porters he hires to watch the doors are little more than thugs, more concerned with shaking down the tenants for cash than actually helping them in any way. The residents of Six Towers are as a result a pretty hopeless lot, just doing their best to survive day to day. A lot of them would love to rebel against Nathaniel and his tyranny, but know there's no way they could successfully storm that fortress he calls a home, so they just carry on, relying on the charity from the Arms Of The Weeping Lady soup kitchen on the edge of the district and the Advocate bunk house set up right next to it to keep themselves going...

-->And then the Three Pillars show up on the scene. Nathaniel initially completely ignores them -- in fact, he doesn't even know they live in Six Towers, given they move into the one house he has no idea exists in the district, thanks to Elder Gutknecht's wards -- but then he hears tell that there's a trio of strangers fixing up one of the old conservatories into a public greenhouse, and that they intend to give away the food produced there for free. "Welp, that won't do," Nathaniel says to himself, and waits until they've pretty much finished the place before arriving on the scene and politely informing them that he owns this land, so the greenhouse is his, thanks. Though if they really want to use it, they could pay him rent -- say, ten Coin per month? (Which, for reference, is an ASTRONOMICAL amount to charge for rent -- it's more than your average small business is expected to take in in a month, and Duskwall months are twice as long as ours!) He expects this trio of losers to fold immediately --

But then Smiler points out that ten Coin would be enough to just buy the property and asks if it's for sale. And Nathaniel, amused and secure in his knowledge that his house is impenetrable, says no -- but if the trio can steal the deed out of the safe in his bedroom, he will let them have it, no strings attached. Smiler is like "I want that in writing," which Nathaniel is fine with, and they go to Barrister Alley in Charterhall University and have a contract drawn up, notarized by an Inspector. Nathaniel encourages the trio to try to get the deed before the week is out, and goes home content to wait until they get caught creeping around and have to give him the property --

Only for them to utterly humiliate him by successfully sneaking in and stealing the deed. I am picturing him spotting them escaping at the last minute, with Smiler cheekily telling him "thanks for the greenhouse!" Nathaniel, as you might imagine, is furious, but the Inspector insists he has to honor the agreement, causing him to start plotting revenge...

-->And from that moment on, the Three Pillars and Nathaniel are enemies! I haven't planned out many more specific clashes, but I know that the group humiliates him a second time by stealing a Dragon's Bane fruit he rented to show off at a party (for Chef Roselle, who needs one for a new dish -- I promise I will explain this further in an upcoming post), and when they team up with a group of Sparkwrights to test an alternative fuel source they're working on by getting the streetlights back on in Six Towers, he's one of the obstacles they have to overcome. (He might also be somehow involved when Dr. Kelman starts trying to track them down to "correct" them, but I haven't fully decided on that yet.) Nathaniel eventually gets so pissed off by their presence in Six Towers that he puts a bounty on their heads -- but by that point, not only are the trio able to fight off potential assassins (including most of the other gang bosses in the city at a certain infamous party hosted by Bazso Baz of the Lampblacks), they're so beloved by the citizens of Six Towers for all the help they've given the neighborhood that said citizens are more than willing to fight for them. Remember what happened to the potential assassin in the fourth entry in this Not-Incorrect Valicer Quotes collection for the verse? Yeah, it gets to the point where assassins hear what the job is and just go "sorry, no, I'm not about to get beat up by all of Six Towers, thanks." XD Leaving Nathaniel to fume impotently as his district slips further and further out of his grasp. I'm not entirely sure what the endgame for their rivalry is yet, but I very much doubt Nathaniel is going to come out on top.

-->And finally, since this guy has the potential to become a very important character in this verse, I figured I ought to know exactly what he looks like -- so I made him in Sims 4! So here are some pictures so you know what he looks like too:

Lord Nathaniel Rowan’s headshot! The haircut is from Get Together – I tried a couple of others, but this is the one that I felt worked the best with his face. Had a little trouble selecting his eye color, but I’m fairly satisfied with the gray-blue I settled on. And I couldn't resist giving him terrible muttonchops when I found the option under facial hair. Era-appropriate, admittedly, since the world of Duskwall is supposed to have Victorian vibes, but still terrible. XD

The full body shot! The suit is a Get Together “sack suit” that I found on accident a while back, while messing around with formal wear options for Victor, Alice, and Smiler. As I didn’t have my CC in the game at the time I created this initial version of him (not long after the Life & Death patch), this was as close to an era-appropriate outfit as I could find for him that didn’t look just a tiny bit TOO fancy, like most of the Vampires suits (ended up choosing one of those for formalwear instead). He is wearing Vampires shoes, though (the black ones with white spats), and that double-ring designed by arathabee for Crystal Creations (since he’s supposed to be a lord, I figured maybe that was fancy family jewelry passed down through the lineage).

And finally, a shot of him looking dastardly, since he is supposed to be an asshole. XD Accordingly, I gave the Sim version of him the Aspiration of Mansion Baron (to reflect the fact that he lives in a freaking castle), and the traits Evil, Hot-Headed, and Materialistic (since he's a nasty bastard with a bad temper who likes the finer things in life). As for his Preferences, he Likes the color orange, compliments, malicious interactions, gossip, deception, polished fashion, egotistical Sims, argumentative Sims, Baroque music, and research and debate, and he Dislikes the color pink, pranks, potty humor, silly behavior, complaints, rocker fashion, funny Sims, spirited Sims, Pop music, and singing. Which, as you might guess, means he hates Smiler in particular among the three. XD Rather fun designing such a douchebag of a man – and now I have a face to go with the name in my imagination, so that’s good too. :)

And there we have it! So now you know who Lord Nathaniel Rowan is and why my trio will be having such trouble with him in the future. Always important to know your enemies as well as your friends! I hope you look forward to seeing him pop up in the verse as much as I am now. :p

[thevalicemultiverse]

Technicolor Phase meets Valicer In The Dark

Valicer In The Dark Victor: You -- really couldn't see blue until you met Emily? It's one of my favorite colors.

Technicolor Phase Victor: It's one of mine too now, but -- look, I don't know why it works so differently for my world. I'm still trying to wrap my head around realities where you just don't automatically know that someone will be important to you.

VITD Alice: It would be useful information, yes... [looks at her counterpart] But it doesn't sound like it helped you or Lizzie with Bumby.

TP Alice: Unfortunately not. The one problem with the colors is that it doesn't specify how someone is going to be important to you.

TP Emily: Exactly -- I got blue from Barkis, and I thought that meant he was my true love, not that he was going to murder me.

VITD Smiler: It does seem like an imperfect system...we're all very sorry about what happened to you. Would it help to know that our version of you burned him up with an electroplasm bomb after stopping him from killing Victoria?

TP Emily: ...it does a little, honestly.

TP Victoria: Mmmm -- I hope he's receiving his just punishment while Emily went on to her great reward.

VITD Victor, Alice, and Smiler: [look at each other awkwardly] Um...

[ten seconds later]

TP Victoria: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THERE'S NO AFTERLIFE ANYMORE?!

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Valicer In The Dark -- Fun With Trauma

Hi all -- it's time to talk about my VITD trio again! Specifically, today we're discussing their Traumas! :D Now, "Trauma" in Blades In The Dark refers to a condition your scoundrel picks up when they max out their stress during the course of their adventure -- once they fill up all their stress boxes, they have some sort of mental break, can no longer participate in the rest of the current score, and develop a new specific personality quirk that will haunt them for the rest of the adventures. A character can develop four traumas before they have to be retired from life as a scoundrel (either literally retiring or being thrown into jail as a sacrifice to the Bluecoats). On the plus side, each new trauma is also a chance to earn extra XP -- if your character struggles with the side effects of a trauma during a score, you can mark a point or two of XP for it and level up your character a little bit faster. The book has eight potential traumas for scoundrels to pick up -- Cold, Haunted, Obsessed, Paranoid, Reckless, Soft, Unstable, and Vicious -- but as I've thought about my trio and where I want them to go (and what other systems in the book I'd like to use), I've come up with somewhat more bespoke traumas for them:

-->Alice: Our favorite Cutter actually starts with a trauma -- as I've mentioned before, I looked at the description for the Haunted trauma -- "You’re often lost in reverie, reliving past horrors, seeing things" (pg 14) -- and went "yeah, that pretty well covers her hallucinations of Wonderland." (It's the reason she also gets two starting abilities instead of just one -- trade-off!) As for her next potential trauma, I was initially considering Vicious -- "You seek out opportunities to hurt people, even for no good reason" -- but then decided that perhaps a slightly more logical one would be a tweaked form called Overprotective -- "You make sure everyone knows that what's yours is yours, to the point of violence." Alice is, of course, protective of Victor and Smiler even before she picks up this particular trauma, but afterward, she can get a little overenthusiastic about keeping danger away from them, simply because she doesn't want to lose the people she loves again. That house fire where her family died did a number on her head, after all! The pair probably have to rein her in sometimes to make sure she doesn't accidentally cause them more trouble trying to keep them safe. I don't have a specific scene in mind for what triggers it, but I know it would have to involve Victor and/or Smiler getting hurt and her just letting loose to protect them.

-->Victor: My initial ideas for a trauma for our lovely Whisper were Paranoid -- "You imagine danger everywhere; you can’t trust others" -- as the result of a particularly dangerous score that spooked him badly, or Obsessed -- "You’re enthralled by one thing: an activity, a person, an ideology" -- as the result of him getting a little too much into studying the dangerous magic of Duskwall...but then, while researching the Ritual special ability to figure out how to create new rituals for Victor to use, I found the sample ritual "Portal to the Depths" -- which involves singing an ancient song to open a portal up into the Void Sea, swamping anyone unlucky enough to be in front of it with its dark water filled with mysterious starlight and dragging them into the cold depths. The thing is, whenever someone uses this ritual, along with taking six stress, they must also tick a progress clock called "Seduced By The Leviathan's Song."

Cue me coming up with a scene where Victor, having filled up that progress clock, is with Alice and Smiler at The Docks (yes, this the name of a neighborhood in the city; it is self-explanatory) -- and ends up getting mind-controlled by the song of a nearby Leviathan into nearly walking off one of said docks to either drown or get devoured. Fortunately, this is after the trio have started playing with hypnosis in their private lives, and Smiler and Alice are able to stop him in his tracks by invoking their control over his mind -- but the experience leaves Victor with the custom trauma Phobia -- "You are terrified of a particular person, thing, or place and refuse to be near it." As you might imagine, Victor's terror revolves around the ocean, and he refuses to be anywhere near it if he can -- no more scores involving The Docks for this trio!

-->Smiler: Deciding on any trauma conditions for our cheerful combination Leech/Slide was a bit tricky for me at first -- not only is Smiler a naturally-cheery person who takes a lot of things that would stress out others in stride (see them very casually talking to ghosts in "Start At The Beginning...Sort Of"), they also of course end up in possession of the ability Functioning Vice, which allows them to adjust how much stress they clear when indulging their Vice and makes emptying out that track between scores a lot easier. I really wasn't sure which of the ones on offer would actually fit them --

And then. While reading through the "Changing The Game" section of the book, I stumbled across the "Forgotten Gods" section in "Advanced Abilities and Permissions." Which details what happens when your character opens their mind to a forgotten god -- including access to the ability Glorious Visage, which allows the character to hit everyone in the vicinity with an image of the god's form, costing them three stress and causing everyone around them to at least flee in fear or be paralyzed with dread. The more traumatized the character, the more harm they can do, up to killing a specific person by shattering their mind. I was like "Oooooo, wow, creepy but neat" --

And then I was like "Smiler's already been touched by their god..."

Cue the creation of the custom trauma Vessel -- "Your body is capable of hosting the will of a forgotten god -- and they know it." The way I see this working for Smiler is, the first time they overmax their stress, their god Mar-Mal sees this, is like "!!! Let me help!" and straight-up possesses their body for the rest of the score. Fortunately they do leave once the danger is passed -- helped by Victor and Alice going "It would make us VERY HAPPY if you gave us Smiler back" -- and Smiler recovers from the experience, but the door has been opened in their head, and it's not being shut anytime soon. The trauma automatically gives them access to the customized special ability Joyous Visage -- where Smiler can use Mar-Mal's power to stun people with happiness (it works a bit like the "Hysteria" power in VTMB's version of the Dementation discipline, with people getting completely incapacitated by laughter) -- but every time Smiler uses that power, a die must be rolled. On a six, they use the power safely and only take two stress; on a five through two, they use the power but Mar-Mal takes an interest in the proceedings, forcing them to take three stress; and on a one, Mar-Mal is like "time to take over again!" and possesses their body for the rest of the score. On the plus side, Mar-Mal automatically succeeds at everything they do while in control of Smiler's body (they are a fucking god, after all); on the minus side, when they leave, Smiler has to deal with Level 2 "Post-Possession Exhaustion" harm (because hosting the power of a god is no joke). Smiler has mixed feelings about this whole situation -- on the one hand, they're super excited that they can host the will of their god and not die, but on the other...they are a little scared that maybe, one day, Mar-Mal won't give their body back...

And there we have it -- three lovely traumas for my characters to suffer with! I don't know yet when they'll come into play during all the various stories I have planned, but they are there when I need them! I'm sure the trio are thrilled. XD

[victorluvsalice]

-->Only for her and Smiler to decide they wanted to play ping-pong together, and for Alice to run off to the ping-pong table before I could stop the interaction. *sigh* Damn werewolf super-speed... I was like “fine, okay, you can play a game of –

“Hmm. Actually. Hang on. Why not play a round of juice pong instead? Be something DIFFERENT for me to watch, anyway.”

And so they did, tossing balls at each other’s cups of juice. As you do. XD And damn, Alice absolutely SMOKED Smiler, getting all four of their cups while they only got ONE. I think I see why Smiler only plays regular ping-pong with people these days. XD Sorry Smiler! Maybe this will make you a little less obsessed with the table!

-->Anyway – Victor finished the tending and the fertilizing while this was all going on (super vitality on the remaining oversized crops, and some pet poops on a few nearby flowers) – as he was busting for a pee and dirty, I had him transportalate up to the white-and-blue bathroom and hit the toilet and the shower while Alice went on a hunt and Smiler entered the greenhouse to get their plasma fruit and herbalism supplies (along with some pears and plantains) before super-selling the rest. Well, ALMOST all of the rest – the way they did it, the apple tree got missed in every super-sell batch, so they ended up harvesting that too. XD Well, they can use ‘em for nectar! While that was going on, Victor finished his shower and cleaned some more spoiled food out of the fridge –

-->And then I spotted Ian Moody standing on the porch for some reason, being pestered by a couple of specters. I decided to have Victor save the poor old guy and sent him out to give one of the ghost blobs a Potion Of Good Fortune – the gift was a hit, fortunately, and Victor got another lump of wraith wax, which he promptly sold to an oddity collector because we have ENOUGH of that stuff, thank you. XD Ian, thus freed, immediately headed back out into the world as Alice returned from her Hunt, mouth full of meat and Fury high. (I guess he saw all this and thought “NOPE.” Which, fair.) I looked at her devouring her steak while all aglow, looked at the in-game clock and saw it was noon –

And was like “you know what, I’m not going to the store today. They can just have a chill day at home for a change.” So I directed everyone to hang out on the porch together for a bit while Alice finished her meal, then Smiler went over to shape the bonsai into a freezer bunny shape (as they were feeling very playful) and had Victor get a REAL lunch of mushroom steak (as he was trying to eat ice cream – you have to eat REAL FOOD sometimes, Victor) –

[victorluvsalice]

We've hit Fall Wednesday in the Chill Save, and while the gang didn't end up visiting their perpetually-just-about-to-open store today, they did keep very busy, as always! The early morning hours saw Smiler pretty much attached to their robot-making bench, making a blue chatterbot, a teal RC quadcopter (as I thought if I could sell those in-store too, that might be fun), and tuning up Bugs the garden-bot, but Alice and Victor (especially Victor) were a bit more all over the place --

Alice: After making and securing her sugar at the end of last week's update, she indulged in a quick scavenge of the ground (didn't find anything, but it's good for overmaxing the old werewolf XP), registered with the Ministry of Labor as "co-owner and chef at Van Liddelton Groceries," then proceeded to earn that label by doing some canning! Specifically, she wasn't able to make any strawberry jam at the store (I suspect all the strawberries are in the produce fridges), so I had her get on that at home. She looks pretty pleased with herself regarding the finished product, doesn't she? She also got a start on the laundry (popping a chrysanthemum into the washing machine to make sure everything smelled nice) and painted a very cute small Impressionism painting of a cat and a dog wearing hats. :) I ended up putting that up on the wall by the pet bowls -- I mean, it suits, even if the cat and dog are clearly not Kelly and Shadow. :p

Victor: Having completed his experimentation at the end of last week's video, he was the one to get all the clothes into the washing machine fro Alice for later (having noticed the clothing pile Alice left behind when she went out to scavenge), then headed inside for a quick music break (gotta fulfill those wants) before indulging in an experiment for me -- namely, can potion bottles be Copypastoed? I was like 99% certain they could, but figured I might as well confirm it -- and yup, they can! :D Another way to make filling shelves on the store easier! Victor ALSO reminded me that Repairio can be used to increase the quality of objects, by turning one "normal" quality Potion of Plentiful Needs into an "excellent" quality one. Nice. :D

With that sorted, it was time to do some crafting -- namely, I had him buy a bunch of dyes, then start making more candles! Because I think I said last week that, having found that you can sell raw blocks of beeswax, I'm having him set up a "bee shelf" with that and his honey -- and what better way to fill it out than with a few beeswax candles? Victor made one regular candle and one sky blue dipped candle (burning himself a couple of times along the way), which got him all the way up to Fabrication skill 3 and gave him the ability to do cylindrical molded candles! So now he has even more products to offer, yay. :)

And then I noticed the cowplant's tongue was sticking out and was like "oh no you don't." Victor promptly got sent out to feed that damn thing before it started causing trouble -- though judging by Victor's expression in that second-to-last picture, even tossing it a nice package of meat is a dangerous proposition! He did still pet it afterward, though -- doesn't hurt to show it some kindness. Might save his life someday...

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer Polyship Week 2024, Day Two: “Blorbo Has Two Hands” (Soulmate AU)

It's Day Two of Valicer Polyship Week 2024, "sponsored" by @polyshipweek, and today's prompt is "Blorbo Has Two Hands!" This prompt, as per PolyshipWeek's write-up on the matter, is all about "The rallying cry of polyshippers everywhere: Why have a love triangle when you can have a trio of lovers instead?" and how the polycule makes love, not war. This is naturally an excellent prompt, but I wasn't sure whether I was going to use it or one of the other ones when it came to writing a story for Day Two --

Aaaand then Wednesday, November 6th happened. And after rather a lot of time spent staring at the prompts with no inspiration because I was still feeling kind of numb inside over the fucking election results, I came back to the list right before going to bed, looked at "Blorbo Has Two Hands" again, and thought, "You know what, I can probably do something with that and my Soulmates AU -- specifically, someone doubting the trio are all actually soulmates because multiple soulmates isn't a common thing in that verse." So I drafted out a story about Smiler, working at a bar post-the trio fleeing England to avoid the wrath of Kelman, the wrath of Victor's parents, and possibly the wrath of the police after Alice killed Bumby, getting harassed by a customer who didn't believe them when they said that both they and Alice were Victor's soulmates -- only to get proven wrong when said soulmates showed up to find out why Smiler was suddenly feeling so upset. It was pretty rough, but I figured it worked for the prompt --

And then I went, "Hang on...didn't I just do something like this yesterday?" For indeed, this story was rather similar, at least in general theme, to the "Alice vs Nessa" Valicer In The Dark tale I wrote for Day One. But given my mental state at the time, I couldn't come up with anything better for Day Two. So I left it be and gave myself a choice -- either try to write a different story later, or lean into the theme and do a Victor-POV story of some jerk inserting their nose into the polycule's business and getting theirs for Day Three.

...given the story I'm about to present is the "Smiler gets harassed by a customer about whether or not multiple soulmates is a thing" story, you can probably guess what I chose. XD For now, here is your Day Two story! Sorry it took a bit to get there! XD

--

“So – Mister Van Dort over there is your soulmate?”

“Yup,” Smiler confirmed, smiling over at the table where Victor was currently involved in what looked like a rather intense conversation with Alice, his hands flying all over the place as they spoke. “We met at one of his parents’ parties – ended up in the same corner together, started commiserating over the fact that we both hated stuffy social gatherings, went to formally introduce ourselves by shaking hands, and – well.” Smiler grinned down at their own hands, currently drying a glass. “Suddenly the party was that much better.”

“I see,” their current customer – a fellow named Robert, who apparently ran a woodworking shop in town – murmured, nursing his third whiskey. “And Missus Van Dort is – all right with that?”

Smiler tilted their head. “Er – yes. Why wouldn’t she be?”

Robert raised an eyebrow at Smiler. “Because – she’s his wife?” he said slowly, as if they were an idiot. “And would likely want to be her husband’s soulmate?”

“Oh, there’s no problem there,” Smiler said brightly, putting away the dried glass. “She’s also his soulmate.”

Robert blinked at them. It was a pretty long blink. “What?”

“Alice is also Victor’s soulmate,” Smiler repeated obligingly. “We’ve got a bit of a thing going on.”

“You’re – but – that’s impossible,” Robert insisted, leaning heavily on the bar.

“It’s not,” Smiler said, mentally preparing their usual speech. “It’s rare, yes, but–”

“Balderdash,” Robert cut in, putting a finger in Smiler’s face. “People can only have the one soulmate. Otherwise, what’s the point of them?”

Now it was Smiler’s turn to blink. “What do you mean?”

“I’m talking about how the whole point of a soulmate is that they are the person that the universe has ordained as the most important one in your entire life,” Robert said, warming to his topic. “The relationship beyond which all others pale. The one twinned to the very center of your being! If you were given more than one, then – then it would cheapen that bond. Make it – make it lesser. It wouldn’t be about finding your perfect match – it would be about finding someone you just kind of like more than the rest. A person only has room in their soul for one soulmate. It’s simple fact.”

“It’s not,” Smiler insisted. “There’s been studies done on the bond, and–”

“Oh, studies,” Robert said derisively, grabbing his drink and taking a big swig. “Yes, everyone appreciates a study. As if any scientist really knows how to measure a soul.” He looked Smiler up and down. “And what do you know about studies? You’re a bartender.”

“My father’s an alienist,” Smiler said, wrinkling their nose against the bitter taste in their mouth produced by even obliquely mentioning Kelman. “And I study chemistry in my spare time. I’m not an idiot just because I pour drinks for a living.”

“No – you’re an idiot for letting your soulmate get married to someone else,” Robert retorted, attempting to poke Smiler’s arm – they jerked it out of the way just in time. “Shame on you for that. He’ll never be able to be a proper husband to his wife if you’ve already taken up that space in his soul! Everyone knows that people who have soulmates that are just friends have to remain single. It’s the natural order of things!” He took another drink. “Cruel of you both to lead that poor woman on. She should be off trying to find her actual soulmate, not being – taken advantage of by two horrible monsters like yourselves.”

Smiler opened their mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. Closed it again. Where the hell were their words right when they needed them most? Alice had once said they could talk their way out of a murder scene while holding a bloody knife, and now they couldn’t refute one drunk?! One deeply annoying drunk who’d hit pretty much every nerve in their body, sure, but… “I...you…”

“Smiler?”

Smiler and Robert both looked over to see Victor and Alice approaching, wearing identical expressions of concern. “Is everything all right?” Victor continued, picking at the knot of his tie. “You – you feel quite upset about something.”

“Very deeply annoyed indeed,” Alice added, giving Robert a suspicious glare. He smartly shrank away. “Is this fellow bothering you?”

“Yes, but he might not be for much longer,” Smiler said, smirking. “You were saying about how people can only have one soulmate?”

Robert looked between the three of them, visibly processing the fact that Alice too had felt Smiler’s emotions. “I – but – she – you?” he stammered, clearly having trouble collecting his thoughts.

“All three of us,” Smiler said, leaning on the bar. “Two romantic bonds and one platonic one, and all very real. And even if we weren’t all soulmates – so what? I think Victor would still have enough love in him to handle both his wife and me.” They put on an innocent stare. “Unless you’re saying that nobody can care about anyone but their soulmate? Because that sounds like a pretty lonely and miserable life to me.”

Robert stared at them for a moment more. Then he reached into his pocket, plonked some coins on the bar, and fled out the door. The trio watched him stumble away on wobbly legs. “...so I guess he didn’t believe you when you told him we were all soulmates,” Victor finally said.

“He did not, and decided to give me a big old lecture about it,” Smiler said, scooping up the money and counting it. “Okay, good, this is what he owed...anyway, it was all about how ‘multiple soulmates cheapens the bond’ and ‘if your soulmate is your best friend you need to remain single’ and nonsense like that.” They shook their head as they put the money away. “Who comes up with those things?”

“Arses,” Alice said succinctly.

Victor and Smiler both snorted. “Well put,” Victor said, then laid a hand on Smiler’s wrist. “And for what it’s worth, I don’t feel at all that having both you and Alice as soulmates has cheapened anything. If anything I feel – I feel blessed. I had trouble believing sometimes when I was younger that I was worthy of one soulmate, let alone two.” A bright smile split his face. “And now look at me. Tied forever to the two most wonderful people in the world.”

Smiler beamed, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. “I feel exactly the same. Two bonds just means twice the love to spread around.”

“Well said,” Alice said, putting her hand over theirs. “Hopefully someday people will understand that better.”

“Mmm. Until then…” Smiler leaned in and gave Victor a quick peck, before shooting Alice a grin. “I’ll just enjoy what we’ve got.”

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer Multiamory Month, Day Three: First date as a polycule (Modern AU)

We're up to Day Three of Multiamory March (as created by @polyamships), and today's prompt is a cute one -- "first date as a polycule!" We all love seeing our favorite ships go out together for the first time, don't we? :) I decided to go with my regular old Modern Human Smiler AU for this one, and cover their very first date after getting together as a trio -- hitting up the roller rink at Smiler's friend Rita's suggestion! Though as you'll see, Victor maybe isn't having the BEST time rollerskating...

--

“I’m starting to regret letting your friend Rita pick what we should do for our first threesome date!”

Victor immediately and fully regretted saying that aloud as two passing fellow rollerskaters gave him funny looks. Alice snorted, then gave his left hand a squeeze. “You might want to use a slightly different term to describe just what it is we’re on,” she informed him with a cheeky smile.

“Maybe go for ‘throuple’ – or ‘triad’ would work too,” Smiler put in, holding tight to his right hand as they rolled on. “Would make everyone take a second longer to go ‘oh, they’re all having sex together.’”

Victor flushed brilliant pink. “We h-haven’t even done that yet,” he muttered, dropping his head to stare at his feet –

One of which promptly slid out from under him, forcing him to forget embarrassment in favor of keeping his balance. “Oh!” he cried, tightening his grip on his partners’ hands as he scrambled to get the recalcitrant limb under control. “Sorry, s-sorry–”

“It’s fine, Victor,” Alice assured him, slowing down so he could straighten up properly. “You’re doing fine, all right?”

“We’ve got you,” Smiler added, squeezing his fingers before shooting him a smile. “We won’t let you fall.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Victor grumbled, managing to get both feet under him again. “Goodness, I feel like I’m ice skating, not rollerskating. Why is this rink so slippery?”

“They do seem to have overpolished it a tad,” Alice said, glancing down at the shiny boards. “But really, you’re doing quite well for a beginner.”

“Yeah!” Smiler agreed with an enthusiastic, encouraging nod. “Way better than I did my first time out!”

Victor looked between them, scanning their faces for signs of sarcasm – and finding none. He blinked. “R-really?”

“Yes, really,” Alice said, tone warm. “You should know by now I mean what I say and say what I mean.”

“Exactly! And hey – if you do want to get off, we can get off,” Smiler assured him, jerking their head toward the rink’s exit. “Go grab some pizza and just chill for a while, no problem.”

Victor looked at them, then at the exit, then at their joined hands. A tiny smile curled his lips. “Well...m-maybe a couple more loops first.”

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Not-As-Vague-As-I-Anticipated Thoughts On A Valicer Ghostbusters AU

Hi everyone! Say, do you guys, gals, and nonbinary pals remember when I had not one, but two Ghostbusters AUs kicking around on my blog: I Ain't Afraid Of No Ghost, based on the original movies from the 80s with Doc, Marty, and Victor as the Ghostbusters and Alice as their receptionist, and Who Ya Gonna Call?, based on the 2016 reboot with Victoria, Emily, Clara, Jennifer, and Alice as the Ghostbusters and Victor as the receptionist? Weren't those good times? Well, it may interest you to know that, ever since Smiler showed up and became a notable presence in my head and on this blog, I've been having on and off thoughts about trying to fit them into one of those AUs! Because I am still a fan of both the original and 2016 Ghostbusters, still enjoy those AUs, and thought it would be fun to include Smiler in one of them! There was just one problem --

"I Ain't Afraid Of Not Ghost" was the one with a slot open for Smiler (as I always had trouble filling the "Winston Zeddemore" role in that one -- I think my best option was considering Clara for the role, as in the linked post)...but Smiler's general vibes always seemed a better fit for "Who Ya Gonna Call?" (which did not need any more characters in it!).

A dilemma, as I'm sure you will agree! And so the Ghostbusters AU thoughts, whenever they popped up, kept getting tabled in favor of AUs that I could actually make work. That is, until recently, when an idea hit me. An idea that can basically be summed up in the form of a meme:

Yes, my solution to my Ghostbusters AU dilemma? Smash the original 1984 movie and the 2016 reboot together. AKA make everything even more complicated and crowded! XD And so I present to you my initial ideas/timeline for the Mega-Ghostbusters AU that I'm thinking of calling "Busting Makes Me Feel Good." It's not totally feature-complete yet, but you should at least get a good idea of where I'd want go with this! Let's begin:

-->Our starting group, before all the supernatural nonsense kicks off, is Doc, Marty, and Smiler -- Doc's a professor at Hill Valley Community College, teaching applied physics and studying parapsychology in his off hours, while Marty and Smiler are two students of his turned lab assistants because they found out what he was doing in his free time and thought it sounded cool. (Think a situation kind of like what Abby and Holtzmann had going at their college at the start of Answer The Call.) The three haven't really gotten anywhere with their research into ghosts and paranormal extra-dimensional entities yet, but Doc's determined to figure this shit out, and Marty and Smiler are enjoying the ride. (And occasionally playing pranks on him, like the "ghostly fart noises" prank Abby and Holtz played on Erin.)

-->And then, one day, they're summoned to the local public library to talk to someone who says he saw a ghost down in the basement. Cue them meeting one Victor Van Dort, newly-moved to the city, who is understandably freaked out by his supernatural experience. The trio assure him that they believe him and ask him to take them down to see the ghost for themselves...and end up freaked out as well because holy shit actual ghost. They're eventually scared out of the building, a la the incident in the 1984 movie, but Smiler got the whole thing on their phone, and they gleefully present that and the ectoplasm samples they retrieved to their college Dean.

-->...Doc is immediately fired for wasting university time and resources, because the Dean does not believe them at all and has been looking for an excuse to fire that weirdo Dr. Brown for a while. Marty and Smiler are quite annoyed, but Doc sees an opportunity -- for you see, he's been working on a way to try and catch ghosts for some time now. And he's pretty sure those librarians would pay to get that ghost out of the library. So now that he has the free time, why not set up some sort of business where they can catch ghosts and similar entities to study them? Marty and Smiler are into it --

As is Victor, and it's about this time that everyone realizes, "wait a minute, why are you still hanging out with us?" XD Turns out that he just kind of followed along when Doc took them all to see the Dean because Doc seemed to know what he was doing, and well, now he's intrigued by all their research. Doc's like "cool, free third lab assistant" and says he's welcome to help out however he likes, and the core group grows to four.

-->Quick additional note here: while I intend for Emily to be a living human and not a ghost in this AU (as she was part of the core team back in "Who Ya Gonna Call?" -- you'll see her show up in a moment), I do very much want Victor, when questioned by Doc, Marty, and Smiler if there's a history of mental illness in his family, to admit that an ancestor of his back in the 1870s claimed to have temporarily married a corpse. It just amuses me to have that be his "I had an uncle who thought he was St. Jerome" moment. :p

-->Anyway, Doc gets his stuff out of the university lab (along with some of the university's stuff -- that does cause a bit of a kerfluffle, as you might imagine), and he and his assistants go looking for a good place to set up shop. And, as you might expect, they find an old abandoned firehouse that might be just perfect (Smiler in particular likes the fire pole). Unfortunately, between the needed repairs to the building and the asking price of the realtor, Doc isn't sure they can afford it --

Cue Victor revealing he's the son of canned food magnate William Van Dort and using some trust fund money to buy the place. (Victor: "I -- did tell you my last name when we first met." Marty: "I thought you were a cousin or something, NOT HIS FUCKING KID!") After the initial shock, the others decide to just be grateful they have a rich friend, and repairs begin apace. As their new headquarters comes together, Doc decides they could use some help filing and fielding phone calls and whatnot, and puts out an ad for an receptionist...

-->Cue not one, but both of Victor's high school exes, Victoria Everglot and Emily Cartwell-Merrimack, showing up to apply for the job. XD There's a somewhat-awkward reunion, with the three explaining their situation -- namely, that Victor and Victoria dated during senior year because their parents were "strongly encouraging" them to be together (the Van Dorts to leach off the Everglots being more "high society," the Everglots to leech off the Van Dort money); then, midway through said year, Emily ended up glomming onto Victor as a rebound boyfriend when he showed her some sympathy after her previous boyfriend broke her heart (and stole her mother's jewelry); and then there was a bit of a "thing" about who was cheating on who when Emily saw Victor with Victoria shortly after said glomming. But they managed to move past that (with a lot of profuse "I didn't realize you two saw this so much more seriously than I did" apologies from Victor, who was actually in the process of explaining the Emily situation to Victoria when Emily showed up -- just not very well), and they all ended up decent friends before falling out of touch after graduation due to going to different colleges. Both ladies prove to be good at the tasks required for the job AND not afraid to get their hands dirty helping with renovations, so Doc ends up hiring them both, figuring "this is probably going to be a 24-hour business, we should have day and night shift receptionists anyway."

-->Naturally, business is rather slow at first, with not a lot of people taking these new "Ghostbusters" seriously...but eventually they get a call from one Clara Clayton, local schoolteacher, asking them to come investigate her apartment because she recently opened her fridge and a weird dog-demon thing started yelling "ZUUL" at her. Doc and company promptly head over to investigate --

And, as you might imagine, Doc and Clara are instantly smitten at first sight. Somewhat annoying Marty, who keeps having to interrupt their awkward flirting over Clara's Jules Verne collection and her telescope to get Doc to focus on the job. XD Anyway, they don't actually find anything in the fridge, but Doc does note some fairly high PKE readings in the apartment generally and tells Clara to keep an eye out, maybe bunk up in a hotel if things start getting too bizarre. And that she can call him anytime, or visit him at the firehouse, or -- maybe join him for coffee sometime...basically Marty, Victor, and Smiler have to drag him out the door. XD

-->And then, shortly after that, they get a call from a local hotel saying that they have a bit of a ghost problem, and if they're legit, could they come bust it please? (I picture Emily being the one to take this call, mostly because I can better picture her being the one to yell "WE GOT ONE!" Janine-style. XD) Doc, Marty, Victor, and Smiler rush over to the hotel with their proton packs, and --

Well, of course it's Slimer, being his usual gluttonous self. Poor Marty's the one who gets the "he slimed me" moment, incidentally. XD But the boys and enby manage to wrangle the ghost with only moderate collateral damage, and with this first public bust, business starts picking up as more people become willing to tell them about the various hauntings they're dealing with.

-->It's around this time that we cut over to one Alice Liddell, getting ready to ride the subway to work (I have no idea if Hill Valley is actually big enough to support one of those, but this is supposed to be a modern day-ish AU, and we know Hill Valley gets bigger in the future judging by the fact it seems to be a much more bustling city in BTTF II's 2015 -- pretend it's a small local system that the mayor funded as part of a "better public transport" initiative or something) -- when she spots a familiar face sneaking off from the crowd. It's one Dr. Angus Bumby, the asshole who murdered her parents and sister and burned down her house, condemned her to ten years in Rutledge Psychiatric, turned to child pimping disguised as helping to rehabilitate troubled orphans after graduating university, tried to wipe her mind when she ended up in his care after Rutledge, and then -- when she FINALLY managed to drag him to the authorities -- escaped and disappeared into the ether. Alice is like "oh, you are NOT getting away from me THIS time fucker" and chases after him --

-->But then he sets down an odd device on the tracks -- and moments later, a very angry ghost appears in the tunnel, forcing her to back off and closing down the subway. Alice, seeing a poster for the Ghostbusters on the wall of the station, heads over to their office to tell them what she saw and ask them to investigate. The 'Busters are keen (especially since the subway authority have ALSO called them to be like "something supernatural is on our tracks, please get rid of it") and follow her to the station --

-->Where, before they do the bust, they encounter a young woman doing some graffiti art on the wall of the station. Turns out it's Marty's girlfriend Jennifer Parker, who's indulging a bit of a rebellious streak now that she's out of her parent's house (aka she's a bit like the 1986 Citizen Brown Jennifer from the Telltale game, because I really like that Jennifer). Upon hearing they're there to bust a ghost, she jokingly does the classic "no ghosts" logo on the wall -- the group agrees that would actually be a great logo and ask Jennifer if she wants to talk licensing later (Jennifer: "Yeah, I'll take money for this, sure"). With that sorted, the group busts the ghost (with a little distracting help from Alice and Jennifer, who insisted on coming along to watch) and find the device, which Doc notes is a specialized "ionizer" designed to attract ghosts, based on a design he mentioned in a book he authored on the subject of parapsychology ages ago. Alice is like, "I don't know why Bumby's now into ghost attracting, but I don't want him to keep doing it--"

-->And asks to join the team as a Buster. Jennifer is also into the idea (partly because she's a LITTLE worried about Marty's safety after seeing a bust in action, and at least this way they're risking their lives together), and Doc says that if someone is trying to summon ghosts, they probably could use all hands on deck and agrees to take them on, stating that they should train Victoria and Emily in how to use the equipment too. So it's back to the firehouse --

Where they find Clara waiting! Turns out, while she fortunately hasn't had any Zuuls in her fridge lately, she has been doing some research into the history of her apartment building, and, well, she's not exactly keen on what she's found. Turns out that the architect behind it, Ivo Shandor (name subject to change -- I am SO freaking tempted to make it "Cave Johnson" because they had J. K. Simmons play the guy in Afterlife), was part of some world-destruction cult, and built it to act as a sort of "antenna" to focus paranormal energies and attract the attention of a god named Gozer, otherwise known as "The Destroyer." Clara's like, "I feel like shit is going to go down if monsters are appearing in my kitchen -- can you maybe lend me one of those proton packs and teach me how to use it?"

Doc's response? "I'll do you one better -- you want a job?" Clara is initially thrown, but then is like "you know what, it's summer vacation and I really want to make sure this thing in my fridge doesn't get me and it means spending more time with you, so sure."

-->Cue a training and tech montage as Doc, Marty, Victor, and Smiler instruct Alice, Clara, Jennifer, Victoria, and Emily in how to use the proton packs and traps and test out some of Doc's new inventions in the field of ghost-busting! Also cue:

a) Clara getting really into how Doc's putting all this stuff together and helping him with it whenever she can, causing the two of them to grow closer and finally act properly on their attraction (kissing over a disassembled proton pack is as romantic as kissing in front of a telescope under the stars, right?)

b) Victoria and Emily taking a look at the 1984-inspired jumpsuits everyone is wearing and going "these desperately need an update -- hi-vis stripes would add visual interest AND probably make you easier to spot in dark environments," before using their sewing skills to make jumpsuits more akin to the 2016 ones; along the way they start acknowledging a mutual attraction

c) Alice and Smiler both noticing that Victor seems to be attracted to the other and attempting a little subtle matchmaking...only to discover what they're doing when Smiler asks Alice if she'd like to go on a date with Victor, and she's like "...I thought you wanted to date him." Talking to Victor after that reveals he's into both of them but had absolutely no plans to act on his attraction after what happened with Victoria and Emily. Smiler is like, "well, no worries for me, I'm polyamorous, so if you guys want to try the 'throuple' thing, I'm down" -- Alice and Victor decide it's worth it, and the three end up in a hinge relationship with Victor at the center

d) Marty and Jennifer, the Established Couple With Their Shit Together, wondering why busting ghosts seems to be such a romantic activity for all their coworkers (Alice: "Jennifer, you joined up SPECIFICALLY to be with your boyfriend.")

-->Also cue the gang getting some proper branded vehicles to drive to busts with, instead of just taking Doc's old "24 Hour Scientific Services" van! The fleet includes:

a) the classic Ecto-1 (with the spin-out gunner seat introduced in Afterlife because that is an objectively cool thing to add to it)

b) a DeLorean where all the time travel modifications are adapted to be for ghost-busting purposes instead (because you can't have the BTTF characters without THEIR classic 80s car)

c) the Ecto-2 motor scooter from Answer The Call, both because it's neat and because there are a LOT of characters involved here, so it's probably best we have at least one more transportation option

-->So, how does teaching the ladies how to bust ghosts go? Well, they all get opportunities to join the more experienced members of the team on smaller busts, and acquit themselves pretty well...but the real test of their training comes on a day when Marty, Doc, Victor, and Smiler are all taking the night off -- Marty's got a concert gig with his band, the Pinheads; Doc's helping him with the special effects for that gig; and Victor and Smiler are going to see said gig as part of a date night together (with Alice saying she might stop by and see how they're doing later). Jennifer of course also goes to see her boyfriend and cheer him on -- but while hanging around backstage, she spots a figure sneaking away from a storage room. And, upon investigating, finds another one of those devices they found in the subway -- which, before she can do anything about it, spits out a horrible demon-like bat-ghost. Horrified, she calls Clara at the firehouse and gets her to bring the gear with Victoria, Emily, and Alice -- however, by the time they arrive, the concert is in full swing, and there's no chance to get the stuff to Marty and the others in time. So the ladies suit up and charge in --

Just in time for the bat-ghost to start attacking the stage. Marty gets the other members of the Pinheads out of harm's way, while Doc offers advice to the women over the sound system and Victor and Smiler try to direct the panicking crowd to the exits (Smiler is much better at this than Victor). Fortunately, the quintet of ladies learned well, and while there is the usual collateral damage, they manage to wrangle the ghost and force it into a trap. Cue the crowd cheering, the various couples/throuple sharing a celebratory kiss --

-->And then the police busting in and insisting all nine of the Ghostbusters come with them immediately. There's a little "wait, what??" but the group do comply, and are whisked away to the town hall for an emergency meeting with none other than Mayor Goldie Wilson III. As it turns out, he and his fellow elected officials have been tracking the Ghostbusters' activity, and they're a little concerned -- both by the rise in paranormal events around the town, and by the fact that the people combating those paranormal events are bunch of unlicensed weirdos with probably-illegal tech. Doc points out that he couldn't exactly apply for a license to be a ghostbuster, which Goldie allows. He also admits to the group that he does not want them to stop busting ghosts, because they seem to be a legit threat -- he just wants someone to take a look at how they operate and whatnot, just to make it look like the local government knows what it's doing. Everyone's like "yeah, all right, we understand, got nothing to hide," and Goldie reveals his appointee as Official Hill Valley Mayoral Liaison --

-->And it's one Edna Strickland. AKA Doc's high school ex, former newspaper reporter, current member of the Public Health And Safety Department, and all-around nosy busybody with exceptionally prudish morals. And while Mayor Wilson is happy to let the Ghostbusters keep doing what they're doing, she considers the lot of them to be dangers to the town. Not in the least because she thinks Doc's a crackpot who chose science over her (Doc: "Edna, that was fifty years ago, let it go") AND because she's discovered Alice was formerly institutionalized and still suffers from hallucinations and suchlike (Alice: "I have gotten way better at telling fantasy from reality, thank you very much"). Things are NOT improved by Marty antagonizing her every chance he gets, both because she's being such a dick to his friends and because he has awful memories of dealing with her younger brother Stephen Gerald Strickland when he was in high school (dude's the local assistant principal and head of discipline and did NOT like constantly-late Marty). So the Ghostbusters now have to deal with her demands -- most of which seem to concern how real ghosts are (Doc: "How many eyewitness accounts of paranormal activity do you want, Edna?"), and how safe the ghost containment unit Doc built really is -- while simultaneously keeping an eye on the ghost situation...

And okay, it's no surprise that this AU crossing over the plots of two whole-ass movies with a bunch of other stuff is getting freaking long. So how about we take a break here, and we'll pick it up with the adventures of the gang as they head toward the dual climaxes in Part Two? Sound good? Sounds good.

[victorluvsalice]

Welcome back to the Chill Valicer Save, where – after introducing new member Marm L. Iser the Servo to the family last update – we get to see how Marm is fitting in on the farm and helping out at the store! How did things go for him and the rest of the fam this fine Fall Wednesday? Well –

-->I started with Victor and Alice in bed and Smiler and Marm watching romantic TV together (though if this stirred any feelings between creator and creation, they didn't act upon them). I decided to check on Marm’s enhancement status while they were both chilling, and upon learning he could indeed be enhanced, had Smiler upgrade him so he’d charge a bit faster going forward. Nice! Marm then got to recharging on the couch (apparently robots can take naps, who knew?) while Smiler lectured Surprise on scratching the furniture (Surprise, in a typical cat move, pretended to have no idea what they were talking about) before heading out to the porch to ask Shadow, sadly chewing on her ball, what was wrong. Turns out Shadow was feeling down and needed hugs and treats – Smiler was only too happy to provide, along with a brushing. :) I then had them feed Toothy before heading down into the barn basement to make some strawberry nectar – I mean, they were feeling flirty anyway, so why not? I don’t think it had any effect on the final product, of course, but it feels like it should have. :p

-->While that was going on, Victor and Alice both woke up around 3 AM – I immediately put Victor on “upgrading the tub in the black-and-yellow bathroom” duty, since he had a want to increase his Handiness (and in fact was very close to maxing it). Had him give it a water recycler (using eco parts, of course), pulsating jets, soothing jets, and a self-cleaning coating. I mean, he did all that for the shower, might as well do the same for the tub! Alice, for her part, talked to Snappy the Sixam Mosquito Trap for a bit (it was a want), then got back to working on her book. In Smiler’s room, because of course she did – never mind that I clicked on HER computer in HER and Victor’s room. *sigh* I really should lock the various computers to their owners, shouldn’t I?

Anyway, while Victor and Alice were thus occupied, Smiler finished their nectar and put it in storage (the vitality and potato nectar Victor found in the prairie grass the other day also made it in there), then went upstairs to stand by the robotics bench so I could sort out the pictures in their and Alice’s inventories and pick my favorites from the recent family reunion to put up. The best two of Alice’s pictures of the group and Marm himself, along with one of Smiler and Marm’s selfies, went into the free “column of three pictures” frames they got from the reunion and hung up near the robotics station, while another Smiler-and-Marm selfie went up in Smiler’s room, on the side wall between the windows (over their yoga mat). :) So now Marm has a presence on the walls of the house, nice. Though, while I was doing all that, I noticed there was a Potion of the Nimble Mind in the household inventory for some reason –

-->And then looked in the barn basement and realized that Victor’s potion display was missing a cube! >.< Yeah, back when I did the small house renovation and jazzed up the basement, I had trouble getting that top left corner display case to slot in, but I didn’t expect it to just POP OFF THE WALL! (If you’re wondering what happened to the shelf itself, I am pretty sure I recycled it by accident.) Even more annoying, I was actually able to move the display right below it up into that slot no problem, then add in a new case into the vacated spot. *shakehead* These snap-together shelves sometimes, man. At least I was able to fix the display!

-->With pictures sorted and Victor, Alice, and Marm all occupied, I had Smiler head into the greenhouse to clean up some cursed objects there (a slime monster and a creepy doll), then had them clean Moory’s shed (which really needed it) while making the recently-awakened Marm clean the chicken coop instead of watching Politi-Sim (trust me, Marm, you don’t wanna watch politics). Smiler then pulled the recyclable trash out of the bin, before returning to the greenhouse to drop off Elmer and Bugs the gardening bots and put them to work! Because we hadn’t used the little bots in a while, and judging by the state of the greenhouse, Victor was going to need the help. XD

-->Speaking of Victor, by this point he’d finished all the tub upgrades (without maxing out his Handiness, boo) – he went and had a little chat with Alice as she finished off her book, then showed a little love to Shadow before heading downstairs to finish off the last of the banana split waffles while I had Alice clean up some of the dirty plates around the place. And as for Marm – well, having FINALLY gotten around to the front of the house to throw away the chicken poop, he decided he wanted to play with the cowplant. I allowed this, but I first made him turn on hover mode so he’d move quicker. Because a walking Servo walks VERY SLOWLY, I have discovered. *grimace* Like, EA, seriously, what the hell is the deal with THAT?? *sigh* This is why I stick to occults like vampires and spellcasters...

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Smiler's Otherland -- Not-Incorrect Quotes Collection Part II!

Because you can never have just one "not-incorrect quote" collection with me --

--

Victor: [wandering into the big conservatory in the middle of Orchestralia] Conductor? I was wondering if you --

Victor: [pauses as he hears what sounds like a party coming from behind one of the theater doors] ?

Victor: [opens the door and finds a room full of Advocates, all dancing and listening to one Felix E. Lated, who is strutting his stuff across the stage] What -- Felix??

Felix: [waving with a big grin] Hi Victor! Here to see if you can get the stick-in-the-mud to join the festivities?

Victor: The -- what? W-Where's The Conductor?

The Conductor: [sticking his head out from behind the curtain at the side of the stage, looking deeply frazzled] Get. That. Lunatic. Off. My. Stage.

Felix: [striding over and trying to drag him on] What do you have against fun?

Victor: [facepalming] Oh dear, just a moment... SMILER! CAN YOU COME COLLECT YOUR -- WHATEVER HE IS?

--

Mr. Explorer: [wandering around the improved Dollhouse, sees Fort Resistance] Oh! That looks interesting... [cups his hands around his mouth] Hullo? Anyone in there?

Leader: [from behind the door, with the other Insane Children giggling behind her] One, and two, and three, and more! Who are you?

Mr. Explorer: I'm Mr. Explorer! I like your house -- do you want to play?

Leader: It depends on the game! Some are better than others.

Mr. Explorer: Oh, I don't mind which game! I like all sorts of stuff! And I could introduce you to my butterflies too, if you want!

Thinker: Butterflies? Like Alice's?

Mr. Explorer: Yeah, only lots more kinds! C'mon out!

Leader: Okay! [opens the door and wanders out, revealing the Insane Children in all their glory]

Mr. Explorer:

Alice: [a bit later, trying to comfort Mr. Explorer] I assure you that they're all right.

Mr. Explorer: [crying in her arms] One of them has his brain sticking out!

Drillhead: [clearly confused as to why Mr. Explorer is upset] You wanna play with the drill?

Mr. Explorer: [cries harder]

Alice: [wincing] This is going to take some explaining...

--

Hatter: [gesturing with his hands] Now this -- this is quality construction!

March: [running his hands up a leg] Aye! Look at how smoothly this joint bends! This creature can scamper and no mistake!

Dormouse: [circling another leg] I like all these lights! They go blink, blink, blink -- and then flash! Lovely for keeping one awake!

Hatter: Yes, but have you seen the syringes here? Such a fine point on them! And the liquid inside bubbles so beautifully!

Marmaliser: [lets out a little "fweee" noise that somehow manages to sound quite pleased and maybe a touch embarrassed]

Hatter: Oh, you deserve all the praise! You're marvelous mechanical mayhem at it's finest!

Alice: [observing this] I really don't know how I feel about you three getting all gooey over the brainwashing machine...

--

Dr. Minister: [rallying his Staff in the crumbling corridors of the Sanctuary] I'm telling you, if we left now in force, we would have no problem at all taking over those other ridiculous domains and making them socially compliant! They wouldn't stand a chance against our tried and true methods! Don't you want to bring everyone into harmony with our will? Don't you want to make sure everyone is corrected?

Staff: [glancing at each other nervously, fiddling with syringes and batons]

Dr. Minister: [slightly frustrated] We are the best of the best! Leaders in social compliance therapy! It is our duty to bring this mind to heel! [marches to the door and throws it open] What could possibly stand against --

Fury: [standing just outside the door, sharpening his Hysterical version of the Grim Scythe, not looking at Dr. Minister at all]

Queen of Hearts: [standing next to Fury, tentacles curling around her, looking straight at Dr. Minister with a big, fang-filled smile]

Dr. Minister:

Dr. Minister: [very slowly closes the door]

Queen of Hearts: [pouts] Damn it.

Fury: [pats her tentacle] Maybe next time.

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer Not-Incorrect Quotes, Food Edition

In honor of the “food” prompt for this month’s @polyamships Polyam Shipping Day:

--

Alice: [looking at a collection of “freakshake” photos online] I really don’t understand these things. I mean, I’ve got nothing against a good milkshake, but -- look at this, this one has an entire slice of cheesecake on it. 

Victor: I know! You know I like sugar, but -- that seems really excessive.

Smiler: You know what I’ve always thought? That those are like the milkshake fancypants version of the Vermonster.

Alice: The what?

Smiler: A giant bucket sundae that you’re supposed to eat with your friends -- it’s from Ben & Jerry’s. Why else would you get a slice of cheescake on a milkshake if you weren’t supposed to give the cheesecake to someone else?

Victor: That’s -- probably the most sensible explanation for these things I’ve heard.

Alice: Pity that probably means it’s not true.

Smiler: Probably not, but it SHOULD be. Also, if we’re ever anywhere near a Ben & Jerry’s, we should get a Vermonster.

Alice: Well, that goes without saying.

--

Smiler: [sneaking into the kitchen]

Smiler: [looking around as they grab a package of Jaffa Cakes out of the pantry]

Smiler: [grinning to themselves as they tear it open]

Victor: [immediately poking his head around the door] Can I have one too?

Smiler: How do you always know?!

--

Smiler: [pouring some strawberry mojito mocktails they’ve whipped up for everyone] We got drinks!

Alice: [comes in and claims her glass, taking a swing] Mmmm -- delicious as always, Smiler.

Victor: [following soon after] Oh yes -- you really have a talent for this.

Smiler: [sipping their own drink] Well, talent and years of helping Mom with parties and working at coffee places.

Victor: Even still -- you really should be a bartender. You’d knock the socks off everyone with these.

Smiler: [laughs] Maybe, but I think most of them wouldn’t be impressed with the lack of alcohol.

Alice: Look, I have enough problems with Wonderland, I don’t need to add booze to the mix.

Victor: And you don’t need me trying to tell you my entire life story.

Smiler: But I like your entire life story!

Victor: That involves me talking more about my parents.

Smiler: I do not like your entire life story, finish your mocktail.

--

[context: Victor and Alice are hanging out with Smiler’s other friends for a movie night]

Oblivion: [bringing in some boxes] All right, we have pizza!

Rita: Finally! Hand it over, Oblivion.

Oblivion: Yeah, hang on -- okay, this one is all pepperoni, nice and standard; this one is pepperoni and olives on one side, and mushrooms and olives on the other; this one is Meat Lover’s and sausage, peppers, and mushrooms; and this one is Hell On Pizza.

Smiler: [rolling their eyes as they pick up a slice of Hell On Pizza, otherwise known as Hawaiian] You could actually try some before knocking it, you know.

Thirteen: Everyone knows pineapple does not belong on pizza, Smiler.

Galactica: It’s a scientific fact.

Smiler: Scientists don’t know what they’re missing.

Rita: [grabbing a slice of pepperoni] Please just accept you have terrible taste in pizza, Smiler. It’ll be easier on us all.

Victor: [had been reaching for his Meat Lover’s -- but upon hearing all this admittedly good-natured teasing, he stops, considers -- and then picks up a slice of Hawaiian and takes a big bite]

Everyone Else: [regards him with surprise, even Smiler]

Victor: [after a contemplative chew and swallow] Actually, this isn’t bad. I don’t know if I’d want it every time, but --

Smiler: [practically tackles him and kisses him hard] Marry me. Now.

Oblivion: [mostly-faux horror, eyes wide] Oh no. [looks at Alice] Have they gotten to you too?

Alice: [taking a dazed Victor’s forgotten slice] We’re about to find out!

--

[victorluvsalice]

-->And then, after Alice was long done with the harvest and Smiler done with all the other chores, Victor FINALLY wrapped up all his tending, meaning – at 11:30 AM in-game – we could go to the damn store! Yay! I sent Alice around to the side to finish up her mural while Victor cleaned up the “out-of-stock” signs, then, once everything was ready, Smiler officially opened the place up!

Which – took a bit, because this lot DOES have lag problems. Like, some really nasty lag problems. I don’t know why, other than maybe it just has too much stuff on it. *sigh* But the store DID open, eventually, and the customers started coming in. Smiler of course took point on the sales floor, chatting with the various NPCs who walked in the door (and admiring their fashion choices -- seriously, look at the bright yellow eye shadow on that one lady) and working their sales magic. Alice concentrated on finishing off her mural, then joined Smiler in interacting with the customers (with some reluctance, as you can see by her face -- she did get along pretty well with Ash from High School Years, though); Victor, meanwhile, focused on making a new flower arrangement (magicking it up to better quality once he was done to make sure he could scent it with bluebells to keep it timeless), then went outside to enjoy some fresh air and a Delicioso hamburger. Nice, easy start to the day, right?

-->Well -- sort of. Because right around the time Victor had his hamburger, things started picking up in the store. At first, it was pretty manageable, with Smiler and Alice running around making sales as more and more customers started coming in and perusing their wares and Victor tried to get in a quick toilet break before doing his part (emphasis on tried, as he insisted on cleaning up his plate first)...

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Valicer In The Dark -- Accused

Time for more Valicer In The Dark, with my current favorite of the snippets I have written so far. :D This entry takes place a little while after "Discoveries" -- after getting a gondola to Brightstone and the Everglot Manor, the trio and Emily invaded the Barkis/Everglot wedding reception, causing chaos and causing the guests to scatter. Barkis himself fled into the streets with Victoria, but Victor, Alice, and Smiler were able to get her away from him (with Victor encouraging her to run for help, which she did), and Emily ended up possessing Barkis to stop him trying to kill Victor. Which led to her finding a couple of electroplasm bombs on his person, tossing one to Alice ("in case you need it to solve your problem"), and using the other to blow both herself and Barkis up. Of course, the local Bluecoat squad (run by Sargent Tannen) showed up only AFTER this had all happened...and while the trio were doing their best to explain the whole mess, one of Tannen's men just made a very unfortunately discovery on Barkis's corpse...

---

“Ah – Sargent Tannen?”

Everyone turned toward the Bluecoat – Alice was reasonably certain he was named Thomas – examining Barkis’s fried corpse. “We – we have a bit of a problem,” Thomas continued, holding up a partially-melted mask.

A partially-melted bronze mask.

Alice’s jaw damn near hit the cobbles. “What – how – he – he couldn’t have been,” she said, shaking her head against the damning evidence before her. “Not a chance!”

“To be fair, all of them are completely anonymous,” Smiler pointed out, looking as stunned as she felt. Beside them, Victor gaped, equally as shocked by the implications. “And it would explain why he had electroplasm bombs on him.”

“I refuse to believe it!” Alice insisted. “That asshole, a Spirit Warden? It boggles the bloody mind!”

“Purrhaps, but no one said you had to be good to be a Warden,” Cheshire told her, though even his smile looked a little fainter in the light of this news.

“And Bumby’s convinced everyone that he’s the heart and soul of charity,” the Queen of Hearts reminded her, rolling her eyes. “Why should this Barkis be any different? He fooled at least one woman to her death, after all.”

Tannen stared at the mask for a very long moment. Then a cold smile spread over his face. “Well well well,” he said, turning back to the three. “Seems like your little story just doesn’t hold up.”

“What? Sir, with all due respect, nothing about our story changes just because he happened to be a Spirit Warden,” Smiler said, putting on an increasingly-nervous smile of their own.

“Really? You want me to believe a Spirit Warden got killed by a ghost? One that you lot claim he himself murdered?” Tannen tched a few times. “I don’t think that’s very likely, do you?”

“Well, no, but it can’t be impossible,” Smiler argued. “There’s all sorts of scary spirits out there.”

“And these folks are the best of the best when it comes to dealing with them.” Tannen paced back and forth in front of them, hands held behind his back. “No, I think I know exactly what happened. I think this little slip of a dogsbody girl, the one who everyone knows ain’t right in the head, the one that poor Dr. Bumby took in out of the goodness of his heart, found herself an Advocate willing to listen and talked ‘em around into helping her kidnap the son of one of the richest families in the city to see what they could get for a ransom, striking the day before his wedding to make sure he would be missed. And when his family didn’t pay up, and his bride just married someone else...” He went over and nudged Barkis’s corpse with his toe. “Well. Somebody got a little mad and murdered that new husband in a fit of rage.”

“What?!” Alice stepped forward, balling her fists. The other Bluecoats immediately closed in tighter around them, raising their batons. “That – that isn’t what happened and you know it!”

“You – cannot possibly – have you met any other Advocates?” Smiler demanded, waving a hand in the air. “We believe in happiness! How am I going to foster that by kidnapping someone?!”

“Wouldn’t it make you happy to get a nice fat payday?” Tannen chuckled. “I don’t blame you for trying, mind. Just a shame that the fellow you ended up offin’ was a Spirit Warden. If you’re lucky, you might just end up with life down in Ironhook. If not...” His grin got wider and meaner. “They always need new souls to power the Hulls they got makin’ the hunter boats.” He casually flicked his hand. “Boys, if you could cuff Miss Liddell and–”

“No!”

Victor stepped forward, eyes narrowed in righteous fury. “You’ve got this completely wrong!” he continued, hands held tight at his sides. Around him, the Bluecoats glanced at each other, wondering if they dared do anything to someone known to be rich. “I was taken away into the ghost field while practicing my vows after the rehearsal by a ghost who thought I’d agreed to marry her! Alice and Smiler were the closest people around when I finally found my way back into the real world, and they helped me! Took me somewhere warm and made sure I got a good meal in me! And they didn’t hesitate an instant to come with me and Emily when we learned that Victoria’s husband was likely the man who’d murdered her! They were just trying to make sure that – that b-bastard down there didn’t kill anyone else! I don’t care if he was a – a Spirit Warden! That doesn’t automatically mean he was a good person!” He pointed a finger at Tannen’s chest. “And it doesn’t mean you can j-just make up a story to throw two undeserving people in jail!”

Tannen looked at the finger, then back up at Victor. He chewed his lip, then leaned in conspiratorially. “Well – I may be willing to admit I’ve made a mistake,” he said softly, holding out a hand. “You know. If you can back that story up.”

Victor sighed heavily, then plunged a hand into his pocket. “Yes, of course, I – I...”

He paused. He felt around for a moment. Then the anger drained from his face as a briefly-forgotten fact suddenly came back to him. “Oh...I – I don’t have my wallet,” he breathed, glancing back at Smiler and Alice.

Tannen raised an eyebrow. “No? Nothing? Huh.” He smirked and stepped back, raising his voice again. “Oh dear me – it looks like Master Van Dort was in on this ‘kidnapping,’ lads! Conspiracy to defraud his own loving parents! We’re gonna have to haul him in too!”

Alice’s head snapped left and right as the Bluecoats began to move in, unhooking manacles from their belts with a fiendish glee. Fuck – and there’s no point in telling this lot about Bumby, they’ll never believe me...or even if they do, they’ll never do anything about it. It’s just so much easier to take the lot of us to jail for a murder we didn’t commit, and – and Victor’s parents will almost certainly bail him out, and Smiler’s fellow Advocates rescue them from the cells, but me – I’m going straight back to Rutledge, and since I’m old enough this time they’re just going to Hollow me out and that’ll be the end of me and Bumby will continue ruining all those children’s lives forever –

“Unless you stop waiting for help and get moving!” Cheshire said, appearing by her side with claws outstretched and tail lashing the air.

“A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step!” Caterpillar added, flitting about her head. “Or, perhaps in this case, a single stab.”

“That idiot Carpenter had the right of it before – are you a pawn, or a Queen?” the Queen of Hearts snarled, tentacles slithering like snakes through the cobbles around her. “Do something, or we are all lost! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!”

A furious heat surged through Alice’s veins, almost akin to the spray of a Ragebox or the explosion of Hysteria. “You miserable, self-important, misbegotten toadies!” she yelled, tearing her knife from her apron strings. “I’ll show you I’m not to be trifled with!”

The Bluecoat behind her snorted and raised his baton – Alice spun on the spot and jabbed her blade between his ribs, causing him to stumble back screaming. Alice tore the Vorpal Blade from his flesh and whipped around, parrying the next blow from his companion before kicking him in the knee. A third came in, truncheon swinging – Alice ducked under it and stabbed him in the groin, getting a pained sympathetic hiss from all the menfolk (and one nonbinary person with the right equipment) in the area. The fourth, Thomas, straight-up dove for her like she was a runaway dog – she flung herself out of the way, and he cracked his chin on the cobbles. The fifth attempted to pull his gun, but he hadn’t even gotten it halfway up when her knife went through his wrist, making him shriek and drop it. Alice kicked it away, then – spotting a shadow coming up on her fast – whirled again and put the Blade straight through eye of the unlucky sixth member of Tannen’s squad. He roared in agony and fell to his knees, scrabbling at the weapon – Alice did him the favor of pulling it out, then looked up. Tannen, Victor, and Smiler all stood there, eyes wide and mouths agape, as if they could see her at her Wonderland best. Which was admittedly quite gratifying, but... “Run?” she suggested to her new friends.

Fortunately, that was all it took for Victor and Smiler to get moving, darting down a side alley. Alice was straight on their heels, managing to weave around Tannen as he broke from his trance to try and grab her. “Get up! Get up!” she heard him scream at his injured squad as they booked it. “They’re getting away!”

“Damn straight we are – that was brilliant!” Smiler added, shooting Alice an impressed grin as she caught up. “I didn’t know you could do that!”

“To be fair, I didn’t either!” Alice replied, unable to help a laugh of mingled shock and relief. “Not outside my head, at any rate!”

“Best time to learn!” Victor called from his position at the head of the pack. He skidded to a brief stop as they reached the mouth of the alley, then hooked a left. “Come on, this way!”

“Right behind you!” Smiler said, swinging left after him.

“And they are right behind you, so keep a move on!” Rabbit warned Alice, darting past her as the sound of booted footsteps started closing in on her.

“Wasn’t planning on stopping!” Alice shouted back, skidding left as she left the alley. She booked it down the street (this one full of shops and restaurants) after Victor and Smiler, past some startled ladies out for their evening constitutional. “Ugh, if only I could pull off that damn butterfly dodge here...”

“You may want to try anyway – incoming!” Hatter yelled, leaping past her.

Alice immediately looked behind her – just in time to see Thomas, now bleeding from the chin and with a look that could melt iron – lunging for her, arms spread wide to envelop her in the world’s worst embrace. She let out a rather undignified shriek and whipped sideways in an attempt to escape –

Only to find a fancy carriage pulling up beside her like a rolling roadblock. Without even thinking, she jumped like she might in Wonderland, hoping somehow to get enough height to clear it – her foot hit something hard – the door handle? The little window sill? – and she leapt again –

And found herself indeed atop the carriage, swaying but upright. Thomas gaped up at her, as did the startled carriage driver – Alice couldn’t blame them, as she was pretty shocked herself. “How in the Emperor’s name–”

“Running now, questioning later!” Rabbit cried, leaping off the other side of the carriage and sprinting toward Victor and Smiler, who’d apparently had the same thought she’d had about crossing the street to get away from their pursuers and a bit more luck in doing so. “Come on, come on!”

“Right!” Alice hastily clambered off the carriage, ignoring the baffled shouts of those within, and ran to meet Victor and Smiler as they doubled back toward her “No, no, it’s okay, I’m fine!” she assured them, waving a hand. “Keep moving!”

“How did you do that?” Victor demanded, slowing deliberately as he and Smiler turned back around so she could keep up. “I swear, when I turned around and saw you jumping like that, it looked for a moment like you’d learned how to levitate!”

“Sheer luck, I think – and an active imagination,” Alice added, glancing down and seeing blue overtaking the black in her skirt. Not the best time, brain, but if you keep it to that, I’ll allow it. “We can figure out how I learned to fly when we’re free of this lot!”

“Keep going!” Tannen’s voice roared behind them, reminding them of the danger. “Thomas, you idiot, Donovan’s already gone on ahead! How have you not gotten a hand on them yet?!”

“Not my fault, sir!” Thomas replied furiously. “That bitch has the devil’s footsteps!”

“And doesn’t she count herself lucky to have them,” Alice muttered as they pounded on, down another alley beside some sort of jewelry store. “Desperation breeds all sorts of talents, I suppose...”

“That I can believe – I’m really good at climbing things thanks to having to escape bullies in Nightmarket when I was small,” Victor admitted, pushing his hair back from his face. “Still, that was incredible.”

“Yeah, you’ll have to teach us how to do it!” Smiler said, shooting her a smile.

“I don’t know if it can be taught,” Alice said, swiping a hand across her eyes to knock the sweat out of them. “It really was just luck. I doubt I’ll be able to do it again.”

“Well, hey, if you do pull it off again, let us know and we’ll – whoa!”

A Bluecoat with a bleeding wrist – almost certainly the “Donovan” Tannen had just mentioned – burst out of a side door in the jewelry store, slamming into Smiler and knocking them into the nearby wall. “Got you now!” he declared, digging his fingers into Smiler’s collar despite his injury. “Like to see you smile your way out of this one!”

“Leave them alone!” Victor yelled, grabbing the offending arm and trying to drag it off. Alice yanked her knife out again, ready to assist as violently as the situation called for.

“No, no, it’s fine, you two – I know just how to deal with people like him,” Smiler assured them, waving a hand as the other one disappeared into their pocket. “They just need a little more joy in their lives!”

“Oh yeah?” Donovan snarled, jerking his arm to free it from Victor’s grip. “And you’re the one to give it to me?”

Smiler grinned and winked. “Well – I am a bit of an alchemist.”

And with that, they yanked their out their fist and jabbed Donovan in the neck with what Alice recognized as a Joy Serum syringe. Donovan yelped and stumbled back, clawing the emptied needle out of his neck. “There we go – have fun!” Smiler said with a cheery wave, before gently giving Victor a shove. “I always keep a spare on me, just in case – he won’t be a problem now, but how about we keep moving anyway?”

“Sure...that’s, uh, safe?” Victor asked as Donovan wobbled in place, a rather dazed-looking smile starting to spread across his face as he giggled vaguely.

“Oh perfectly, he’ll be fine! You know, so long as someone sees to the blood loss from that wrist,” Smiler qualified with a quick look back at the puddle spreading across the cobbles.

“I don’t particularly care if anyone ever tends to that or not,” Alice admitted, pushing them both along. “Rabbit’s going to have our heads if we don’t keep on, so...”

“Right, right...” Victor took point again – not that he had much choice, given he had the longest legs of the three of them – and paused briefly at the junction ahead. “Okay, so...I think the Sanctorium is that way, so...the other direction should be Shimmer Canal. . .right, come on, this way – NOT THIS WAY, NOT THIS WAY!!”

Victor did an about-face out of the alley he’d chosen so fast, Alice was half-certain he’d just flipped around without actually going through any of the intervening bits. He shoved Alice and Smiler backward, down a gap between two stores, eyes wide with sudden horror. “What? What is it?” Alice demanded, trying to peer around him to see what had frightened him so.

“Ambush?” Smiler asked, doing the same.

“No, no,” Victor squeaked, rapidly shaking his head. “It’s–”

“Really, Master Van Dort?”

The trio all froze, then skittered deeper into their hiding spot, Victor holding himself protectively in front of them. “‘Not this way’ shouted at the top of your lungs?” Tannen’s voice continued, as his booted footsteps drew closer and closer to the junction. “That is the most amateur bit of work I’ve seen since I started on the force!”

A moment later, Tannen himself emerged into the T, accompanied by Thomas (apparently the only Bluecoat of his squad still both able and willing to walk). “These rich snobs don’t know the first thing about properly escaping pursuit,” Tannen groused, getting a nod from Thomas. “No, it’s all just throwing money at the problem – which, don’t get me wrong, I’m quite happy with, but still. Like that sort of thing would fool anyone.” He turned down the alley Victor had originally picked, not even bothering to turn his head, Thomas right behind. “I’ve got you now, you little–”

“ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!”

The most spectacular electroplasmic display Alice had ever seen erupted out of the alley – glowing, sparking goop splattering across the walls and cobbles while great arcs of current shot through the air, making her hair stand on end. A horrible gray something that Alice thought might have once been a woman streaked forward after it, seizing Tannen in its grip before he could even have a chance to scream. It howled with the mad rage that only a feral specter could properly express and raked ghostly claws across his chest – claws that still, somehow, managed to cut, tearing deep gouges into his flesh that crackled as they burned with a distressing pale light. Thomas shrieked and tore back the way they had come – Good thinking, Alice decided, and grabbed Victor and Smiler by the hand and towed them away down the gap, leaving the screams of the feasting specter and the deeply unlucky Tannen behind.

They ran for a little bit in silence, across a couple more toff-filled streets, concerned only with putting as much distance between themselves and the specter as possible. Finally, though, they paused in yet another alley behind a dress shop, Alice releasing her compatriots’ hands so she could press hers to her breast. “...well,” she said as she caught her breath. “That was – horrifying.”

“Yup,” Smiler said simply, taking off their cap and running their fingers through their hair.

“I know,” Victor agreed, wiping off his face. “Oh, that...that is going to...haunt my nightmares...”

“Mine too...but...how did you know she was there?” Alice asked, turning to him as she leaned against the wall. “Ghosts like that usually don’t make themselves known until they pounce on their prey.”

“I – I ju-just saw her,” Victor stammered, waving a hand around. “The m-moment I stepped into the alley. I could s-see her plain as day, and I could f-f-feel how powerful she was. I – I just count myself lucky she didn’t see us.”

“Me too,” Smiler said, shaking themselves like a dog spraying water. They shot Victor a grateful smile. “You probably just saved our lives there.”

“I c-couldn’t just let you walk into that! Even if I’m not...I’m not...I...what’s happened to me?!” Victor demanded of the world generally, flailing his arms. “How could I see her before – she’s a ghost! You don’t see ghosts! Not unless they let you! I’d never seen a ghost at all before until Emily came along! And now they’re just – everywhere?”

“Everywhere?” Alice repeated, abruptly keenly aware of just how haunted the city was supposed to be even with the help of the Spirit Wardens (and if they let people like Barkis into their little club, suddenly she understood why).

“Yes! I – that street we just ran across – there’s three ghosts on it!” Victor declared, pointing behind them. “N-not dangerous ones, not like her, but – I saw them, going t-through the motions of their lives! And I don’t know why!”

“You did just spend about an entire day in the ghost field,” Smiler pointed out, expression thoughtful. “Maybe you’ve developed a sort of – ‘ghost mind’ as a result? An extra sensitivity to the supernatural?”

“Seems logical to me,” Alice nodded.

Victor stared at them a moment. “So I’m – I’m just stuck seeing ghosts now?”

“Maybe? I mean, we’d have to keep an eye on you for the next few days, see if the effect wanes any,” Smiler said, smiling brightly now that the immediate danger was over and the fun of scientific exploration was before them. “Oh, and see if you can consistently tell the difference between echoes, specters, horrors, reconciled...”

“Easy there, Advocate,” Alice said, pulling on Smiler’s sleeve gently as Victor began tugging anxiously on this tie. “Let’s get out of Brightstone first – then we can start worrying about Victor possibly being a little bit ghosty.”

[victorluvsalice]

-->Though I quickly learned I had bigger problems than Alice cooking naked, when I discovered Nalani had wandered around to the back porch and was doing some herbalism at the grill. :O!! Fortunately, she was good enough not to set any mood-killing fires, and she and Felipe eventually wandered into the kitchen to chat with Alice (now clothed again, yay) and offer their help with the cooking. While Clement Frost did his best to snag some leftover fruit pie and grand breakfast. *sigh* Food's coming, good sir! Alice eventually finished the meal (getting level 5 Gourmet Cooking skill in the process, nice) and called everyone to the table --

-->Cue a mess as I tried to get everyone to at least SIT at the table without getting distracted. *shakehead* It took quite a bit of wrangling as Sims got distracted playing on their phones, going outside to check on the specters on the front porch (who were currently sprinkling their playfulness all over Angela Pleasant), and trying to get other food from the fridge, but EVENTUALLY everyone (well, everyone who could fit -- sorry, Nalani, it's a six-seater!) sat around the damn table. Oh Sims, why are you like this... Anyway, everyone enjoyed the food they had in front of them, and Smiler tried telling some stories about pirate captains and castaways, because it was actually Talk Like A Pirate Day on top of everything else. XD Neither of their attempts actually fulfilled the goal (they kept ending the stories early), but everyone seemed to enjoy themselves regardless, so -- win?

-->With the meal sorted, I noticed the weather was just getting worse and worse -- so while Clement, Felipe, Nalani, and Rory kept chatting to each other in the kitchen (and getting more leftovers out of the fridge -- guys, come on), Victor headed out back to the weather machine and cleared the skies before downing a Potion of Plentiful Needs to fix his exhaustion and other failing needs. With the rain tapering off, Smiler cleaned up the dishes in the kitchen, and Alice got her tripod set up on the front porch (ignoring the passing NPC kicking over their garbage can) -- and then, once everything was clear, I sent the gang out to the front porch to take some trio shots to fulfill the "take 20 pictures" goal!

...as you can see, first shot was kind of ruined by the appearance of orange tiger stripes all over Victor. Oops. XD Not sure WHEN he got sick, but it certainly made things a mite more inconvenient when it came to pictures!

[victorluvsalice]

-->So I was like “Okay, everyone – we are ALL GOING OUTSIDE BY THE TREE FOR PHOTOS.” XD I thus wrangled the trio, Marm, and their guests, and made them all stand by that one tree in the front corner of the lot so Alice could whip out her camera and hopefully get a good shot or two of the whole group. Which was, uh, TRICKY, to say the least – in the first one, she was WAAAY too close to Victor, meaning she couldn’t get everyone in the shot (though she did try!). I managed to get her into a better spot to take a picture of the entire group, and got a few good shots there (even if not everybody looked very happy in the picture – Marm and Clement weren’t having a good conversation), then tried to set up the camera and the tripod outside the front steps of the house for her to take a picture with Victor, Smiler, and Marm –

Only to discover that she could only take a picture with two other Sims. I thought you could do four Sims at once in one shot with the tripod? Like, I swear I saw that in a James Turner video once? Maybe that’s only if the photographer isn’t joining them… I decided “Okay, can’t do that, I’ll do some solo shots of Marm instead” – but while he did go over to take some pictures, his Tense angry eyes didn’t exactly make for great photography. I mean, I guess him looking so grouchy in the pictures was FUNNY, but it wasn’t exactly what I intended as a party memento. *shakehead* Figuring what I needed to do was get a start on fixing one of the problems making him so tense, I had Alice stop taking pictures to talk to him about her werewolf experiences (hoping to bond with him a bit and turn him into a Werewolf Ally later) while Smiler shared some pictures on their phone with Nalani and Victor shared some with Rory before handing out hugs to complete the final “minor” party goals –

-->Only for the fucking NAP Inspector to show up midway through! And it wasn’t even Brian – it was some other random Sim! Maybe the NAP people didn’t want to send Brian since Smiler’s now friends with him. Conflict of interest and all. XD I went “fine” and had Alice invite her in as the guests started wandering off again –

And THEN some random woman named Jaclyn showed up! Along with Thomas Watson, asking if he could help fix stuff! What the fuck? Why was this suddenly the most popular house on the block all of a sudden, game?! *sigh* Anyway, I let the NAP inspector do her thing and check the lot for violations (none, fortunately) and left Jaclyn and Thomas on the porch to be annoyed by the specters as I tried to get back to tending to my ACTUAL GUESTS –

-->Only to find Alice had run off into the kitchen to drink some orange juice; Rory and Nalani had gone upstairs to dance to Smiler’s radio; Marm had followed them in to do some more yoga on Smiler’s mat (I made him stop and leave to try and alleviate his “scary werewolf” Tense moodlet a bit – it didn’t work well); and that Victor kept trying to slip off to bed or to the attic couch to have a nap. Oh, and that Clement had insisted on heading into the attic to judge the gang's bubble blower. *facepalm* I tried to set up a gathering in the upstairs hallway for Victor, Marm, Smiler, and Clement – having Victor and Marm get to know each other while Smiler entertained Clement (hearing about Clement’s enthusiasm for exclusive relationships) – and allowed Alice to start cleaning up all the various dishes in the kitchen just so they’d be done, but I was getting quite stressed out about trying to keep an eye on everyone, so I had everyone in the group go downstairs again to try and get them all in one place –

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer (Mostly) Not-Incorrect Quotes, Sleepytime Edition

Victor: Whenever Alice, Smiler, and I sleep in the same bed together, Alice and Smiler always insist that I sleep in the middle, between them. 

Victor: [smiling and hugging himself] It’s really quite sweet, honestly. It makes me feel very loved.

[smash cut to:]

Alice: If we let him sleep on the side he steals all of the covers.

Smiler: ALL of them.

Alice: Even if he’s little spoon, somehow.

Smiler: The man has never known warmth and he’s determined to make it all our problems.

--

Victor & Alice: [dozing in bed around 8 AMish]

Smiler: [bouncing in and throwing open the curtains to let in the sunlight] Good moooooorning~! Wakey wakey!

Alice: [groaning and hiding under the covers] No. No wake.

Victor: [squinting and covering his eyes] Smiler, come on, it’s way too early for this.

Smiler: [leaning over him and giving him a tickle through the covers] You’re missing prime breakfast time! Come on, up and at ‘em, we’ll make pancakes.

Alice: [still under the covers] Not enough cake for me to be tempted.

Smiler: They don’t have to be healthy pancakes. [tickles Victor again] Come on, I know you actually slept last night, so no excuses.

Victor: [swatting Smiler’s hand, or at least trying to] Oh God, why do I let you fuck me?

Smiler: [pauses as they reach to uncover Alice, staring at Victor]

Alice: [pokes her head out] Did -- did you just actually say the --

Victor: [realizing he just gave them ammunition to tease him about what it takes for him to say “fuck,” scrambling out of bed] Pancakes, right, let me just use the toilet --

--

Smiler: [wakes up in the middle of the night, smiles as they see Victor with his arms wrapped around them]

Smiler: [realizes they actually have to use the bathroom and goes to get up]

Victor: Mmmmm. . . [tightens his grip without waking up]

Smiler: [frustrated noise, attempts to wriggle free]

Victor: [whines and snuggles in closer]

Smiler: [freezes, not actually wanting to wake Victor]

Victor: [mumbles, then settles in again with his head on Smiler’s lap]

Alice: [stirs on the other side of the bed, peeks up over Victor to see what’s going on]

Smiler: [well and truly trapped] help

--

Victor, Alice, & Smiler: [all cuddled up in bed together, just on the verge of falling asleep]

[prrrrrfft]

Alice: . . .anyone want to own up to that?

Victor & Smiler: No.

--

(And now for one that, while not really “incorrect,” does have a distinct inspiration -- the very first “Foxes In Love” comic)

Alice: [stirs awake and sits up]

Alice: [turns to look at Victor, still sleeping, snuggled between her and Smiler]

Alice: [extremely fond look, runs her fingers through Victor’s hair, getting a happy noise]

Smiler: [wakes up and props themselves up on an elbow]

Smiler: [gazes at the sleeping Victor as well]

Smiler: [glances up and shares a warm smile with Alice]

Smiler: . . . [leans down and licks Victor’s ear]

Victor: [jolts awake both from the lick and Alice cracking up laughing]