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cre8inghavoc · 1 year ago

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What are friends for?

Note:

This is my first ever post, so please be kind! I've been working on this piece for a few days, and there will be more parts to come, but it may take some time to complete. The story will also include text messages between you and your friends (SMAU). I'll do my best to maintain a good length for the story, but there may be some shorter parts. Also, I'm new to this, so there may be a few errors, but I hope you enjoy the story! :)

Status: ongoing!!

Updates: Whenever I can, no set date.

WC: 2756

Description: Characters are aged up. Y/N's stuck in a toxic relationship with her controlling boyfriend, feeling lost and doubting herself. Now, she's facing a crucial choice: stay put or find the courage to break free and reclaim her independence. Pairing: megumi fushiguro x FEM!reader

Genre/Warnings: [18+] This story contains toxic boyfriend, cursing, name calling, self-doubt/hate, angst, breaking up, post-breakup, alcohol, drunk moments, new friends, dating!au, college!au, no curses!au, dark humour, dark jokes. SMAU.

Your friends have been telling you to leave your boyfriend for months now. They warned you about him, about his manipulative, controlling, and narcissistic nature, which contributes to his toxicity. They keep pointing out his flaws – how he always wants. No. NEEDS to tag along wherever you go, how he tries to control what you wear and who you hang out with. And don't even get started on the name-calling and arguments that seem to happen like every single day. But despite all their warnings, you find yourself wondering if maybe it's just his way of showing he cares… it was all out of love wasn’t it? If he didn’t care about you he wouldn’t act the way he does…

Right…?

You're constantly caught in a loophole of conflicting feelings. On one hand, you can't help but notice the red flags they've been waving in your face. But on the other hand, there's a part of you that wants to believe there's genuine love behind his actions. He loves you?

Right…?

Still, you can't help but question: does all this make him a "bad boyfriend"? Sure, he's not physically abusive, but his mood swings leave you feeling like you're walking on eggshells. As you grapple with these thoughts, you can't help but wonder where to draw the line between love and toxicity.

"Y/N!"

You snapped back to reality as Maki's voice cut through your thoughts, finding yourself now parked in front of Yuta's house, a 15-minute drive from your own.

"Are you okay? You've been lost in thought the entire car ride here," Maki asked, a mix of concern and confusion evident in her tone.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I was just thinking about the exams coming up," you replied with a forced smile, though it didn't seem to convince her entirely. Luckily for you, she didn't question further.

You made sure to silence your phone before heading out, knowing the argument that would likely occur with your boyfriend over your plans with friends. It wasn't news to you that he disapproved of your friendship with Yuta and Inukami, despite having plenty of female friends himself. Hypocritical isn't it. But today, you decided to take a stand. You were tired of the never-ending arguments and his controlling behaviour. It felt like you couldn't say or do anything without setting him off, and honestly, you were fed up with it.

You felt it was the right decision, even if it meant facing another argument later. You were determined to spend the day enjoying yourself with your friends, and if that meant upsetting him, then you were willing to deal with the consequences. After all, arguments had become a daily occurrence between you two, so what harm would one more do?

You didn’t quite know where this newfound confidence had come from. Normally, the thought of upsetting him would send shivers down your spine, making you hesitant to go against his wishes. But today was different. You were reaching a breaking point, tired of his behaviour and the constant strain it put on you. Mentally, you were drained. Ever since getting together with him, you'd been affected with a sense of unhappiness, a feeling that even your friends had picked up on. All they wanted was to see you happy again, but it felt like an impossible challenge to break free from his control and spend time with them. He dictated every aspect of your life, and you were beginning to realize just how suffocating it had become.

He felt like a never-ending storm cloud, hovering over you wherever you went, casting a shadow of negativity that left you feeling drained and miserable. It was as if his presence drained your strength, both physically and mentally, until you were left feeling defeated. You knew deep down that the only way to find a “cure” was to get rid of him, but it was far from simple. If it were that easy, you would've done it long ago, at the first signs of trouble.

Believe it or not, he wasn't always like this. That's why you were drawn to him in the first place. But as time passed, things only seemed to deteriorate. A part of you held onto hope that he would revert to the person he once was—caring, supportive, and loving. Yet, as months turned into nearly a year, nothing changed. If anything, it only seemed to worsen.

Why? Why did he change? Was it something you did? Was it your fault? Did you somehow fall short? He always made you question your self worth. He made you believe that this was what you deserved—that you deserved to be hurt, to be broken. He convinced you that you weren't worthy of more.

You and Maki entered Yuta's house, using the spare key you both had. It was a common practice among your close group of friends; you all had keys to each other's homes. After all, you practically grew up together, so there was nothing unusual about dropping by unannounced.

Inumaki and Yuta greeted you warmly as you entered the living room, where they were too focused on a video game. As the hours passed, laughter filled the room, followed by playful teasing and occasional cussing at each other due to the intense gaming moments. You all talked about life, ate your favourite meals, and for the first time in a while, you felt a sense of happiness return. It was as if you were reconnecting with the positive, joyful version of yourself that had been buried beneath the weight of recent struggles.

"I'll be right back! Just need to use the bathroom," you announce before grabbing your phone and heading off.

"Do you want us to pause the movie?" Yuta offers, showing his consideration for your absence.

"No, it's okay! Keep watching, I'll be quick," you assure them with a laugh as you slip away.

Time flew by, and before you knew it, it was almost 9pm. Your peaceful day took an abrupt turn when you saw multiple missed phone calls from no other, your loser of a boyfriend.

**5 MISSED PHONE CALLS AND MESSAGES BETWEEN Y/N & BF**

Luckily, Maki, Inukami, and Yuta were too engaged in the movie to notice your lengthened absence. However, tears welled up in your eyes as you read the messages, feeling the weight of self-doubt creeping in once again.

"I’m just a bitch. That’s all I am. I'm nobody," you muttered to yourself, your eyes red as you struggled to contain your emotions. You couldn't afford to show weakness in front of your friends. This shouldn't affect you, you reminded yourself. You knew this was coming, so why did it hurt so much?

Knock Knock

A knock on the bathroom door interrupted your thoughts. "Hey, Y/N. You okay in there?" Maki's concerned voice broke through your internal chaos.

Fuck.

Of course, Maki sensed something was wrong. She had picked up on it the moment she picked you up. She wasn't one to pry, though. She respected your privacy, and if you didn't bring up the issues first, she wouldn't force them out of you. That's why you cherished her friendship so much—she was the best friend anyone could ask for.

You wanted to tell her, you really did, but you knew all too well what her response would be, and frankly, you didn't want to hear it—not today. All you wanted was to be with your friends, to immerse yourself in their company and forget about your troubles, if only for a little while. You didn't want them worrying about you or your mental state. So you took a deep breath and plastered on a smile, hiding all the negativity like you always did.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I was just on the phone with my mom," you said, forcing a smile as you opened the bathroom door, only to be met with Maki's skeptical expression. Her raised eyebrow spoke volumes, questioning your excuse without saying a word. But she didn't press further. Instead, she offered a soft smile and placed a comforting hand on your back.

"You're missing the movie. We decided to pause it when you didn't return after five minutes. Come on, let's go," she said gently, leading you back to the living room.

You both made your way downstairs and settled back onto the couch, resuming the movie with the others. After a few minutes, Yuta stood up from his spot and took a seat beside you, leaning in closer to whisper in your ear so only you could hear him.

"Hey, I know you haven't been feeling your best lately, and I understand why... But I want you to know that you can always talk to me. To us. We're here for you, no matter what." he whispered, his words causing your heart to stop for a moment. A soft smile spread across your lips as he leaned back, his eyes meeting yours with warmth.

"Thank you," you replied softly, leaning your head against his shoulder as the movie continued. Resting on each other like this was a familiar gesture among your group—it was something you all did since childhood, a sign of trust and comfort. So when you leaned on Yuta's shoulder, it wasn't a romantic gesture—it was more like seeking comfort from an older brother figure. Your friends have always been there for you, caring and supportive, much like older siblings would be.

Finally the movie finished, with the time now showing 11:16pm—it’s very late, thank god you guys had no classes scheduled for the next two days.

"It's getting late, Y/N. Are you ready to head back?" Maki asked, her expression soft with concern.

Before you could answer, Inukami jumped in with a hopeful tone, asking if you guys could stay a bit longer. You could tell he was really loving the reunion, bringing back memories of all the fun times your group had shared in the past… just like before you got into a relationship.

"Yeah, come on, Maki and Y/N! We haven't had this much fun in a while. It feels good for the group to get back together again," Yuta chimed in, his gaze shifting between Maki and you. The collective attention turned to you, though you knew it wasn't intentional—they subconsciously understood that the decision rested with you, or rather, with your boyfriend's expectations.

Even though it was late, the idea of going home to an empty house, knowing your boyfriend would be out, doing who knows what, filled you with dread. You knew it would only trigger more overthinking and anxiety so with a reassuring smile, you decided against it. Tonight, you didn't feel like going home, and that was perfectly okay.

"Fuck it," you thought, smiling back at them.

"Why don't we have a sleepover?" You ask, breaking the silence. Their eyes widen in shock, the suggestion catches everyone off guard. It's been a while since the last sleepover, back before you started dating your controlling boyfriend. They've tried to organize some since then, but you always declined, due to your boyfriend's disapproval.

Of course. Typical.

Their initial shock quickly turns into smiles and nods as they exchange glances before turning back to you.

"Let's do it!" Maki says with excitement.

All of them cheered in excitement, and the lively conversation continued throughout the night until exhaustion finally led to all of you drifting off to sleep on Yuta's spacious and comfortable couch. Despite the cozy setup, you found it hard to sleep as your mind continued to race, clouded by thoughts of him once again. Unable to find peace, you quietly slipped outside to the backyard, just to get some air.

Yuta awoke shortly afterward, noticing your absence. He got up from the couch, careful not to disturb Maki and Inumaki and began searching the house, half expecting to find you sleeping in his room. But you weren't there. He started to slightly panic as he considered the possibility of you leaving without informing anyone. How did you get home? Was something wrong? Why would you leave without saying anything?

As his mind rushed with worry, Yuta made his way to the backyard door and spotted you sitting on the stairs. Leaning against the door frame for a moment, he gathered his thoughts before joining you outside, silently taking a seat beside you.

"Hey," Yuta says as he settles beside you.

You jump at the sudden sound, caught off guard by his unexpected presence. "Omg, Yuta," you playfully shove his shoulder, "don't sneak up on me like that."

"Sorry," he chuckles softly, "didn't mean to scare you."

"What are you doing out here this late?" he questions.

"Couldn't fall asleep so I decided to get some air."

"Something on your mind?" He asks with concern.

I smile at him. "No."

"Come on, Y/N. I've known you for years; you think I can't tell when something's on your mind..."

You both sit there in silence for a moment before he speaks up again.

"Is it—"

"Mhm. But I don't want to talk about him. I'm here with you guys today, and that's what's important. Not him," you state, trying to change the conversation away from your boyfriend.

Yuta gives you a reassuring smile and nods, but then an awkward silence settles between you. It's unusual; conversations with your friends usually flow effortlessly, so why does it feel so difficult now?

After a moment, you decide to break the silence.

"Yuta..." you begin hesitantly.

He meets your gaze with a soft look. "Yeah?"

"I'm thinking about breaking up with him, you know," you confess.

Yuta's eyes widened in shock, a spark of excitement shining in him. As your best friend, he genuinely cares about your well-being and wants what's best for you. They all do, and they know that leaving your boyfriend will bring out the best in you, bring back the real you.

"Really?! How come... I mean, I already know why, but I'm just curious after all the times we've mentioned it to you, you never really pa—"

"Yuta," you interject, giggling at his enthusiasm.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking, and being here with you guys today reminded me of the times we used to have together before him and I got together. And honestly... I haven't felt happier and more relaxed in a long time until now. It's like when I'm with you guys, I'm constantly smiling, laughing, talking, and I never feel judged. But with him, I feel so... miserable. I don't even remember the last time he and I actually talked and had a laugh together. It's always arguments, and he's the one who always starts them over nothing."

Yuta places a comforting hand on your shoulder and gently wipes away the tears on your face. You hadn't realized you were crying. You tried your hardest not to cry for months, but while telling Yuta how you felt, you couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Shhh... it's okay, Y/N. I'm glad you feel like yourself when you're with us. You deserve so much better than that jerk," he reassures you, his words bringing a sense of comfort.

He never fails to make you laugh.

"Thanks, Yuta," you say gratefully.

"Hey, what are you guys doing outside?" Maki and Inumaki mumble sleepily as they stand at the door.

Yuta grins mischievously and glances over at them. "What's with that ugly grin?" Maki jokes, prompting laughter from everyone.

"MAKI!" you all shout in unison, teasing her.

Yuta can't contain his excitement any longer. "Y/N is planning on breaking up with her boyfriend!" he blurts out.

If Maki and Inumaki thought they were awake before, they're definitely wide awake now. They exchange shocked glances between you and Yuta, repeating the gesture several times. You can't help but smile; despite the gravity of the situation, you feel a sense of pride. Proud that you've finally gained the courage to do something you've been wanting to do for months.

"You're not messing with us, right? Because I swear to god Y/N, if I find out yo—" Maki begins, her voice tinged with concern.

You cut her off before she can finish her sentence. "I swear I'm not messing with you guys. I'm going to do it tomorrow night."

Yipeee!! Go Y/N!!! finally we've all been waiting for this moment.

im currently working on the next part so please be patient!

Also, thank you so much for reading!

#fushiguro megumi x reader #smau #jjk smau #jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfic #megumi fushiguro #megumi smau #jjk fluff #megumi fluff #fluff #angst #jjk angst #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smau #jujutsu kaisen megumi

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kimeoshi · 1 year ago

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‘Twas both 👁👁, but yeah honestly I’m very interested cause damn- (sorry if I seem awkward I’m not good with online interaction 😭😭 LMAO)

NAH no worries you're doing fine!!

It's a pretty wide array of topics but touching the surface of it, I'll go into my art process.

Here's a short thread where I went into this similarly!

I pretty much follow the steps of what I mentioned there, but it varies a little bit based on the style I go for too: painting whole illustrations or design or more simple fun things.

I could describe what I did in each frame of my process gifs which I've posted before but I would need some time. With big pieces, the steps I go by (read slowly, it's a pretty dense text):

thumbnailing -> sketching with bigger shapes to get the line of action/feel (that is, I'm just blocking out the composition) -> refine that a bit -> hide BG, draw the characters (lineart) and add the base colors of them. (then merge & rasterize a copy of it for later) -> put them back in the environment (unhide BG), make them grey -> add shading in greyscale style (multiply layers, glow dodge layers, you name it) -> get that previous rasterized layer back and put it on color mode -> those characteristic shiny parts get a new layer with overly saturated + high brightness colors -> color BG with a new color layer -> then rendering/refining for concerning amounts of time -> add effects and change color/brightness/contrast curves + gradient map -> profit???

For software, I generally use Paint Tool SAI (I adore blending/painting here), I use Clip Studio Paint for the 3D posing library/sketching/lineart, and Photoshop for final effects. (Update: I mostly do all things in CSP now)

(if you have CSP, try out this brush... it saved my life)

As for improvement:

I experiment, watch a lot of youtube videos (I personally like the ones which analyse an artist). I suggest thoroughly understanding how something moves and works (for anatomy I can recommend the book 'Anatomy for Sculptors'), I also study and jot down important pieces of advice or insights to a collective document, rather than saving them to my device where it is highly likely to be forgotten.

I believe if you put great importance on colors and composition, that can cause the most noticeable, 'fastest' improvement, at least if you view it from the lens of social media. (While online environments provide significant reassurance, it must be engaged with in moderation, as it is easy to fall into a lot of negative mindsets, taking the enjoyment out by perfectionism, comparison, or seeking validation, etc.)

Another improvement technique you can try is to slow down a speedpaint video of your choice and follow along with the artist. Extremely useful, I recommend, put your artist under a microscope.

Of course I don't do all of these things every single waking hour, it's just a side hobby to my unrelated studies in real life. Even if you don't actively draw your visual library and knowledge can improve passively, I find that so fascinating. I don't touch a paper for months and there's a sudden jump, like damn what. (Not saying you should do this, active learning is still better ofc) Either way my point with that is, that improving does and did take a lot of time for me as well.

Apologies if this goes all over the place, I tried to touch upon every subject that came to mind at the moment, in not too much in detail, overall I hope it makes sense

If you have any specific questions related, feel free to ask! Or if there's any specific problem you'd like to tackle but find yourself lost, same applies!

#i wrote this before sleeping so it might all be chaotic/nonsensical #thank you for the ask!#asks #art tutorial #art tips

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randomperson99sworld · 10 months ago

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Ruffled Feathers 🪶

~ Part 9 ~

Summary: Julia Morgan, Bobby's niece, has always been a royal thorn in Dean Winchesters ass since the day they met 1 year ago at Bobby's memorial. She wants to be a hunter, he thinks she's a dumb kid playing dress up. Will she always be seen as an unwanted load in Dean's eyes or will he see something more?

Pairing: Dean x OC

Warnings: Age gap, language, sexual themes (used lightly), physical abuse (Not by Dean).

Word Count: 570

A/N: Hope you guys are enjoying the story so far. As always, this story is cross posted on my Wattpad which has more chapters. Happy reading! ♥️

The brothers returned to their usual grind of hunting, keeping in touch with Julia now and then but mostly keeping their distance. Dean had insisted she still needed more time to recover from her injuries and that she shouldn't be getting into hunts just yet. As much as Julia wanted to argue, she reluctantly agreed. The deep scratch from the werewolf had left her sore and shaken, but she was healing, both physically and emotionally.

Weeks passed, and though things remained tense between her and Dean, especially after the werewolf incident, Julia found herself missing the banter, the action, and even Dean's gruff, frustrating personality. It didn't help that Sam had started texting her, making sure she was alright and keeping her updated on their cases.

One quiet evening, as Julia sat at her kitchen table, sipping tea and scrolling through her phone, a knock came at her door. Surprised, she stood up cautiously, grabbing a knife out of habit before heading over to open it.

Dean stood on her doorstep, looking rough around the edges. His expression was neutral, but Julia could sense something was off.

"Dean?" she asked, stepping aside to let him in. "Everything okay?"

He walked in, hands stuffed in his jacket pockets. "Sam and I are in town, and, uh... thought I'd stop by. You doing alright?"

Julia raised an eyebrow, knowing full well Dean didn't just drop by for casual check-ins. "I'm fine. Healing. Been taking it easy like you said," she replied, folding her arms as she studied him. "What about you? Something on your mind?"

Dean sighed, glancing around the small space as if he was avoiding eye contact. "Sam's doing fine. I've been... thinking. After that last hunt, you know, with the werewolf."

Julia felt a pang of guilt. "I know I messed up, Dean, but I—"

"You didn't mess up," he interrupted, his voice softer than she expected. "I just didn't like seeing you hurt."

Julia blinked, surprised by his admission. She'd gotten used to Dean's hard exterior, so hearing even a glimpse of concern caught her off guard. "I can handle myself, Dean."

Dean nodded, but the tension in his jaw remained. "Yeah, I know you can. Doesn't make it any easier though Julia."

"I know but none of us seen it coming until it was too late," she shot back, frustration creeping into her voice.

Dean's eyes flickered with something unreadable before he took a breath, letting it out slowly. "Look, I'm not here to fight. I just... wanted to make sure you were alright. And maybe let you know, we got a case nearby. Thought you might want to come along."

Julia's lips parted in surprise. Dean Winchester, asking her to come on a hunt? He'd been so adamant about her staying out of danger since the werewolf attack. She could sense he wasn't exactly thrilled about the idea, but the fact that he was offering meant something had shifted.

"I don't know, Dean," she said cautiously, still gauging his mood. "Are you sure you're okay with me tagging along?"

Dean gave a short nod. "Yeah. You're a part of this now. Just... don't do anything stupid, alright?"

Julia smirked, feeling a mix of relief and excitement. "You're the one who usually jumps in headfirst, Winchester."

Dean's lips twitched, and for a brief moment, she saw a flicker of amusement. "Guess we'll see who's more reckless."

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idleray-av · 2 years ago

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** ~ —- -! !! ~*`- WELCoME -`*~ !! !- -— ~ * *

[|| My name Austin or Ray | non pronouns or they//he//it ||]

(no pref)

more about here

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Any use of my drawings other than commercial and for mass production is allowed, on one condition: Use my work = Don't forget to include my credit. (-IdleRay- // @IdleRay_AV )

I deal with difficult subjects. My work consists of can be considered NC-17

✧ (GORE//HORROR, SENSITIVE TOPIC//SUGGESTIVE CONTENT and other such elements will be present.)

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ANYTHING I DRAW OR HAVE DRAWN, I IN NO WAY ENDORSE, FETISHIZE, CERTAINLY DON'T DO IT AND DON’T SUPPORT IT IN REAL LIFE.

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This does not apply only to orders//trades//collabs. (abbreviation -> O.T.C.)

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(+Basic dni criteria)

• DON’T ask me for donations and DON’T disturb me about politics. I get really nervous or//and start to panic about it and It makes me feel terrible and horrible.

• Radqueer and the other, queerphobic, abusers, anti-neurodivergent + anti-neurodiversity, sexists, racists, MAP (pedo), incest, zoo and other weird stuff.

• People who see LGBTQ+ as a fandom, not as a community (this is not a sandbox for games, but a serious community of people who are fighting for their right to be equal) !

• Use the terms «f%g», «tr%nny», «tr%p», «f%mboy"», «t%mboy» and others to invalidate//insult queer people. Support Cringe culture. Cisphobic, heterophobic.

I don't like it, but it's tolerable :

• People identify as queer because of trauma or neurodiversity.

• Anti-Objectum, otherkin e.t.c.

I have a terrible experience with otherkin persons, and I have a hard time taking them seriously. Mostly tolerable, because I try to understand them (but mostly I accept them, if it is related to their neurodiversity and traumas). I'm still partly like that because of my neurodiversity, yeah…

— Sorry, my English is bad!

Please forgive me if I make mistakes or don't understand.

— I like socializing, but I'm nervous about starting a conversation. So feel free to write me in DM!

I also love requests//questions, do not hesitate to ask anything! But I don't answer right away <]

I love it all, I really love this kind of stuff. I love it like crazy. /pos

Well, now, about me!

Discord: IdleRay_AV

ALL MY LINKS - https://hipolink.net/idleray_av

MY TRIGGERS — Belts, fly, Jokes about hanging.

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AND ALSO I LOVE SO MUCH LEGO.

• Trades: Not now, I'm busy <]

Tags:

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Reblog - IR_POST || Reblog+my work - IR_MyPost

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▸Fandoms

That are currently interesting to me and maybe I’ll draw them or not

Lethal Company // Dandy’s world // DSAF (Dayshift at Freddy's) // HellPark // CUPHEAD (game|show) // Fallout // Regretevator // Andy’s Apple Farm.

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◊ Devices

• Laptop, XP-Pen Artist 24 Pro

◇ Programs

• Draw: Clip Studio Paint(not free)

• Animation: Clip Studio Paint(not free)

By Author: @ blackqueerliberation

That's so true. It's so right off the tongue.

#IR_RQ

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ryttu3k · 2 years ago

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So this next update is from the Gauntlet of Shar through to the end of act 2 and I have *checks* 690 caps so. This'll go fine.

We head into the (creepy, creepy) Gauntlet. Well, first the tomb, which confirmed a theory, then to the Gauntlet. Shadowheart talks about the tasks required to become a Dark Justiciar and everyone exchanges nervous glances hearing about a sacrifice, because. It's fine. This is fine, right.

I feel the highlighted text is basically the arc line for every companion story.

Just going to transcribe this bit because... image limit, but there was a very interesting exchange between Shadowheart and Halsin here:

Shadowheart: "Lady Shar… so many must have toiled to make a visage so grand. It's beautiful…" Halsin: "Shar's armies of destruction arose from within these halls." Shadowheart: "Those who do not listen to the reason of Lady Shar's words must instead feel the keenness of her blade." Halsin: "You sound like a student - reciting words for a test without considering their meaning." Shadowheart: "I've considered them plenty. Besides, Lady Shar favours actions over words. Try it out, sometime."

Huh!

Balthazar confirmed for creepy. "We're still close. She's in a jar on the shelf over there :)"

Did the first trial, the invisible path one. Shadowheart died several times. I savescummed and used a guide until I got it right. Next, the battle with the orthon. Not sure if it was a glitch but I didn't even get the chance to talk to the guy, alas. Wyll came in very handy here, since he levelled up to 11 just in time to learn a portal spell, so we could basically sneak up.

Astarion: "The orthon is nothing. I'll have my satisfaction when Raphael makes good on his word." Tae: "Repeat after me: Thank you for helping me, it was very kind." Astarion: "Hmm. Hrmmm. Thank you for helping me, it was very kind :|"

Marvellous facial expression here. But no disapproval!

Then, speak of the devil - here's Raphael, here to deliver his promise to Astarion, telling him what the scars mean. tfw you find out you have an infernal pact meant to kill you and elevate your abuser of two centuries to extreme never-before-seen power.

Astarion: "Hmm…" Tae: "Cazador is a piece of shit. We're going to stop him." Astarion: "Do you think it's so simple?" Tae: "You'll never be free while Cazador lives." Astarion: "I hate how right you are. I knew he wouldn't leave me alone even when I was just another wretched toy for him to play with. But if I'm the key to this power he craves, he'll hunt me to the ends of Faerûn. I need to take the fight to him. And I need you to help me." Tae: "Of course I'll help. We'll hunt him down and kill him." Astarion: "Thank you."

Yeah I am thinking thoughts about that, "I need you to help me" part and the, "I'm not used to asking for help and being met with, well... help" line (when Raphael reveals his scars). Yeah, he's scared out of his mind over what Cazador has the power to do to him, and it could just be sheer desperation, but it could also be that he is starting to trust his friends.

One of my favourite parts, now - the companions have their say. My favourite response is from Karlach, as seen in this post, but they're all. So good <3 Fuck you, Cazador, you're not touching our friend! Here's all of them:

Karlach: "Wish I could say I was surprised about Cazador's pact. Where blood, death, and betrayal parade, you can bet your arse a devil is riding grand marshal. We're going to keep Astarion safe. On my life, Cazador won't touch him."

Lae'zel: "Full-fledged vampires are not so easily slain. Astarion's master will be no exception. Fortunate for him, slaying monstrous fanatics is a pastime of ours."

Gale: "I can't imagine how Astarion must be feeling. The terms of your own condemnation carved into your skin… A monster's actions. And monsters do not deserve such power as that ritual promised. When the time comes, Astarion will have his revenge, I'm sure. And it will be richly deserved."

Shadowheart: "It seems like Cazador used Astarion's flesh not as a canvas, but as a contract. We haven't heard the last of this, I'll wager."

Wyll: "Our very own vampire's the missing pawn in his master's deadly game. Now how about we go and reverse Cazador's fortunes?"

Back to the Gauntlet! We complete the other two trials, albeit not just with Shadowheart - Astarion does the sneaking one on his own, and, well, the whole squad goes in for the duplicate one, haha. Then... it's time to jump into the Shadowfell, to find this relic to stop Ketheric, and for Shadowheart to do the last part of the Gauntlet, to become a Dark Justiciar.

Naturally, it doesn't run smoothly. Shadowheart declares that Balthazar has interfered in Shar's plans for too long, and it's time for a fight! We beat him, and that leaves... Shadowheart, to face off with the relic keeping Ketheric alive, and her intended sacrifice to become a Dark Justiciar: Aylin, the Nightsong, daughter of Selûne.

Funny how those things so often coincide. Training the weapons of Shar on the undying body of her own niece, and also the one directly connected with the plot.

Had to do a reset here, because I was nooot going to pass that DC 30 persuasion check (the correct method is to trust Shadowheart to her own actions, let Aylin talk to her, then pass the now-DC 21 check. If you talk to her after failing the DC 30 one, you have to fight and kill her. Not ideal!!). Still had to ask a pointed question, though - "Is this what you truly want?"

(Arc words!!)

Shadowheart is convinced - and hurls the spear she received from the Gauntlet into the void. Then freaks a little because oh god oh fuck she defied her goddess.

Aylin proceeds to steal the show by producing a shining set of armour and a big set of wings, nbd you see that all the time. She gives Shadowheart a Selûnite spear to replace the one she discarded, and then gives the next mission:

Onwards! We return to the outside of the Gauntlet - only to find that in those few seconds, Shadowheart has been blocked from leaving by Shar then tortured and banished holy shit ;_;

Larian why did you not give me an option to say, "You're not alone, you'll never have to be alone again, you have us"? ;_; Once again, the companions can voice that, but damn, I really wanted to tell her. Here are their comments:

Halsin: "Shar's ire has shaken Shadowheart… and yet she goes on. There is untold strength there, I feel."

Wyll: "She called Shadowheart 'nothing'. But I know better than that. She is something. She is worthy, she is strong. She is Shadowheart. Nothing can take the her from her. Not even a goddess."

Astarion: "I suppose it was only a matter of time until Shar took vengeance. For the Lady of Loss, she does not like losing."

Karlach: "I hate seeing Shadowheart suffer like this. All for doing the right thing. It's up to us to look after her now. If she needs a rest, we carry her. If she needs a hand, she has ours. If she needs ears, we've got four between us. Whatever she needs."

Lae'zel: "Shadowheart suffers. You might be surprised, but - it pains me to see."

Gale: "Poor Shadowheart. The gods are nothing if not vindictive in their vengeance."

Best lines here go to Karlach (again) and Wyll. So much love and support! And even Lae'zel!

Still, there's a fight ahead! We hurry back to Moonrise Tower, where there are fights ahead, battling our way to the top to get to Ketheric. Tae tries to extend mercy, understanding what happened to his wife; neither Ketheric nor Aylin are having it, and Ketheric strikes out. Tae and the others are saved with the Prism - and that, unfortunately, reveals that, yes, Tae has the Prism.

Whoops.

(I really like this cap the lighting is so pretty here.)

Big fight. Followed by big tentacle. Followed by big complaint.

Sorry Astarion you may need some new boots after that.

Lae'zel: "We must be ready to confront the elder brain. One presides over every ghaik colony." Astarion: "No problem. And what does this old brain look like?" Lae'zel: "A hovering mass of grey matter, sprouted with lethal tentacles and oozing cerebrospinal fluid?" Astarion, having a day: "Right!! Good!! Glad I asked!!!"

First up, a meeting with Chop. This is... depressing. Free at last, Chop.

Also free: kitty :) Welcome back, Us!

Also depressing: the fact that there are letters to the Absolute from children oh god what the fuck.

Over to the tadpoling centre, where we find Zariel's asset - Mizora herself. Who proceeds to say she'll free Wyll... within the next six months or so. Man c'mon.

To mixed approval (Shadowheart and Halsin's) and disapproval (Lae'zel and Astarion's), we also free the others in the tanks. This includes Zevlor, and Fist members - and a few fully-grown newborn Mind Flayers whoops.

Win the battle, talk to Zevlor to work out what the actual fuck happened. It's not pretty, but Tae tries to be understanding.

Another excursion, this time to some kind of lab. Get a neat sword! There are some interesting brain jars we can interact with, genuinely curious to see what response you'd get from the brain jars from the Nautilus. Oh well. Get a nice permanent boost to Int rolls!

Into the depths of the colony, then, where Gortash fled to. He's there, yes - as are Orin, a pale, creepy-looking woman, and... Enver Gortash, the one who betrayed Karlach to Zariel.

They reveal, then, the Absolute - an Elder Brain, controlled by an immensely powerful Netherese crown, controlled by the three stones the trio hold.

Gale prepares to carry out Mystra's orders; Tae is only just able to talk him down, convinced there's another way. (My graphics were not having it at this point.)

Gale: "Look at that crown. It radiates with power unlike anything I've ever seen. To have it… to hold… If only I could… But I can't… This is it. I must do as Mystra commands." Tae: "Gale, you cannot do this. You can't condemn us to death." Gale: "What choice do I have? More than just a goddess counts on my courage: whole worlds hang in the balance." Tae: "Trust me, Gale. We'll find another way." Gale: "I do trust you. More than myself right now. Perhaps even more than Mystra. I… I have no desire to end your life, you know that. To end it… To struggle on… It is a grave choice you're making for us both, but if it must be so - very well, I'll stand down to stand by you."

;_; Literally the only reason he doesn't kill himself at a goddess's command is because a friend asks him to. God that's so sad. (And I'm sure that crown thing won't come back in any way, I'm sure!)

Controlling the elder brain, they infect their prisoner - Duke Ravengard, Wyll's father. Orin and Gortash leave with the newly-infected Duke, ready to start the attack on Baldur's Gate, and that leaves us with Ketheric, and the newly imprisoned Aylin restoring his immortality. Time for a major battle to free Aylin and take Ketheric down!

Which succeeds, up until, well...

I call this cap 'well, that escalated'.

Anyway I'm really glad that I had the mod that let me have all nine characters (plus Aylin) fighting because the Ketheric-as-apostle monster thing had 181 HP. Aylin goes in on him to finish him off with extreme prejudice (Lae'zel, the closest at hand, had this expression I can only called 'scaroused'), Tae takes the stone from Ketheric's armour, and we finally meet the Dream Visitor in the flesh.

They reveal who the three are - Ketheric was the Chosen of Myrkul, Lord of Bones. From the way Orin spoke, she's a follower of Bhaal, God of Murder. And Gortash is a follower of Bane, God of Tyranny. This is what the Absolute is - an enslaved elder brain manipulated into service by the Chosen of the Dead Three.

So nbd!!

We leave the ship, get back to Moonrise Towers. Karlach is Not Pleased to learn Gortash's involvement. Which is. Understandable.

Yeah we're definitely going to kick his ass.

Gale's also having some thoughts - about that Netherese crown the elder brain was wearing. He decides they'll check out Sorcerous Sundries in Baldur's Gate. Still a bit concerned here, Gale!!

Wyll gives us our next destination - Wyrm's Rock fortress. All roads to Baldur's Gate lead to it - and it's also headquarters for the Flaming Fist, led by one Duke Ravengard. Probably a good idea to prevent him opening the doors for the Absolute's army! He also opens up about his past, about why he made a pact with Mizora. He was only seventeen at the time...

Karlach: "She never stops, does she. Not for a second."

Also at Moonrise Towers - Withers. He has... concerning things to say about their opponents.

Good to hear!!

Some happiness - a reunion between Aylin, and her lover, Isobel. With Isobel's father and Aylin's captor, Ketheric, now gone, each believing the other was dead, they can finally be together again <3

They head off to, er, "take succour in one another's bodies and words" ("Aylin 😳"), and we catch up with Alfira, who's here with a lot of the others from the Last Light. She wants to write a song for the kids to enjoy, but needs another Bard, and where will she find one of those?

Tae pretty much scruffs Astarion and shoves him Alfira-wards. God bless multiclass mods :)

Astarion earns 3g :)

We talk to Art Cullagh. He's doing better. Not entirely sure what he thinks of the modern-day Flaming Fist, but Duke Ravengard seems to be a good sort. He'll wait to see Thaniel when he fully wakes up, and then... yeah, who knows?

Back to camp! We have a lot of interesting conversations. One with Astarion, about what he plans to do with the ritual - he admits he's tempted, and if it means sacrificing his siblings...

Astarion: "I never saw myself as a banisher of shadows. I was always more a 'lurker in', historically." Tae: "I wanted to ask about Cazador's ritual. You must be thinking about it?" Astarion: "The thing that will decide my fate forevermore? Yes, it has been on my mind!! Why~?" Tae: "All that power - you must be tempted to take it for yourself." Astarion: "Well, of course I've thought about it. If I completed the ritual instead of Cazador, I'd get all that power. And I could walk in the sun without fear I'd turn into a mind flayer." Tae: "And the souls that need to be sacrificed?" Astarion: "I don't relish it, but my siblings lured thousands of people to their deaths over the years. I doubt Baldur's Gate would miss them. Of course, I don't even know if I could complete the ritual. It may be impossible - but it certainly is tempting."

In-character-wise, I kind of wanted to have Tae like... set up the acknowledgement that, yes, it's tempting. It also comes with a whopping cost. Just gotta think about that.

Talked to Karlach about Gortach. He is, in her words, an evil, evil bastard and we're going to kick his arse into the hells.

Talked to Halsin about Thaniel. He and Oliver are both recovering - what will happen next depends on them. They may return to be one - but Halsin kind of hopes they won't. It's always nice to have a friend. (An interesting note: Halsin says he has everything he wants, now, "But perhaps there is more than I want." Tae... does not touch that with a barge pole, because they've pretty firmly placed Halsin in the category of 'You remind me of my Grandpa :)' and they are Not Going There! Wyll's expressed interest, Halsin, go try him.)

Shadowheart is... doing okay.

She'll be okay <3

Conversations with Isobel, who talks about how she met Aylin, and Aylin, who is Extremely Dramatic, but also she's a demigod who just killed her tormentor of a hundred years and been reunited with her "mate most high, darling Isobel", so we'll allow it XD Aylin is Selûne's gift to aid the world in the fight against the Dead Three, which. Handy!

And onwards to Baldur's Gate! The Dream Visitor speaks to Tae again, instructing them to gather their allies, especially when they get to the city. "Baldur's Gate may not know it yet, but its fate is bound to ours."

One last obstacle before leaving Reithwin - a Githyanki patrol. We're warned by the artefact Voss left us, and are able to fight them off. Lae'zel gets very Intense.

"It is as we knew. My people have turned their blades against us. They will emerge from the shadows and descend from the skies. And we will grant them their only just fate: death."

I can't wait until she punches Vlaakith in the face.

Next stop: Act 3, and Baldur's Gate!

#ry plays bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers

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minettestan · 4 years ago

Note

Do you have a tag for games you recommend? I'm always looking for new games and my experience with point and click or 90s computer games is sorely lacking.

💕My favorite question💕 I took one of my old posts and updated it, so here!

💕 Personal Favorite

💀 Scary Content

👧 Female Protagonist

✨ Important to the genre’s history

📚 Tricky for new players, look up controls or a walkthrough to get started

❕ Difficult

👿 Potential insensitive content

The Colonel’s Bequest (1989) $5.99 💕✨👧💀❕📚

“It is the year 1925, and the roaring '20s are well underway. As Laura Bow, young college student, you've been invited to visit the Colonel's isolated estate. Watch as the Colonel announces his intention to bequeath his millions to all present!”

The classic Sierra murder mystery game, developed by the mother of the genre Roberta Williams. Laura Bow is a sorely overlooked female protagonist. The game works by navigating Laura and typing in commands, kinda of tricky at first. Tons of game overs are a hallmark of a Sierra adventure game so save often! If you play the GOG.com version you get the benefit of autosaves. This game runs a timer, the events of the night will unfold with or without you so stay on your toes and keep moving! The game can be found for free here, but imo the $5.99 is worth it for the easy of access.

The Dagger of Amon-Ra (1992) $5.99 👧✨❕📚👿💀

“Laura Bow, intrepid heroine of The Colonel's Bequest, is back! This time she's trapped in a huge, imposing museum in the dead of night, surrounded by socialites, miscreants, thieves...and a cold, relentless murderer.“

Roberta Williams is back! Iconic game, iconic heroine. It’s still a Sierra game so like TCB there are tons of (iconic) game overs, so save often. Solving puzzles in this one gives me a great serotonin rush. Unfortunately, this game has some racism issues, particularly with the characters Lo Fat and Ramses. While an important game in the genre take it with a huge grain of salt and maybe turn of the (kind of awful) voice acting and enable text-only mode and you’ll avoid some awful accents.

Sam & Max: Hit the Road (1993) $5.99 💕✨

“Sam (a canine shamus) and Max (a hyperkinetic rabbity thing) are hot on the trail of a runaway carnival bigfoot across America’s quirky underbelly in this deranged animated adventure!“

Sam & Max are truly my favorite characters in all of fiction. I have the box art to this game as my phone case. I have Sam & Max action figures, a plush Max on my bed, a print edition of Sam & Max Freeland Police Special #1 framed on my wall. From comics, to games, to cartoons I love these guys. Sam & Max: Hit the Road is a classic of the Lucasarts adventure games. That being said, it’s the least user-friendly of the Sam & Max adventure games and the slowest. I still love it to bits and it’s important to the genre’s history imo.

Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Fathers (1993) $5.99 💕💀👿

“The adventure of Gabriel Knight starts with gathering materials for his new book, and ends up becoming a fight for his very soul. He must now face countless dangers in New Orleans, Africa and Germany, each bringing him ever closer to unraveling the mystery behind suspicious voodoo murders. Haunted by nightmares, he won't give up until he reveals the truth. “

Another Sierra game directed by a woman, Jane Jenson. Gabriel Knight, voiced by Tim Curry, is one of my favorite adventure game protagonists of all time. This game is scary and gory so enter at your own risk! I love the gameplay in this one, I love the narrator, I love the puzzles. But it seems Sierra games have some problems with the representation of minorities. The game is set in New Orleans and focuses on a voodoo cult. Which means consequently the game's major antagonists are all black. Unlike the Dagger of Amon Ra, Sins of the Fathers actually employed black actors to play black characters. There’s a lot to be said about the ways in which white media demonizes voodoo and those who practice it. If you play this one, remain critical. And for the love of god, don’t play the 20th anniversary version.

Day of the Tentacle: Remastered (1993/2016) $14.99 ✨👧❕

“Originally released by LucasArts in 1993 as a sequel to Ron Gilbert’s ground breaking Maniac Mansion, Day of the Tentacle is a mind-bending, time travel, cartoon puzzle adventure game in which three unlikely friends work together to prevent an evil mutated purple tentacle from taking over the world!“

Another classic LucasArts game! This was the first game co-headed by Tim Schaffer who would go on to make the outstanding Grim Fandango! This one is exceedingly wacky and the remastered version has made it more user-friendly than ever.

Toonstruck (1996) $9.99 💕

“Drew Blanc is a cartoon animator and the original creator of the Fluffy Fluffy Bun Bun Show.. Drew's boss, Sam Schmaltz, sets him the task of designing more bunnies to co-star in the Fluffy Fluffy Bun Bun Show by the next morning. However, the depressed animator soon nods off, suffering from acute artist's block. He wakes early the next morning to inexplicably find his television switched on, announcing the Fluffy Fluffy Bun Bun Show. Suddenly, Drew is mysteriously drawn into the television screen and transported to an idyllic two-dimensional cartoon world populated by his own creations, among many other cartoon characters.“

If you’re a fan of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? you’ll love this. Christopher Lloyd is Drew Blanc (ha) trying to save a cartoon world through inventory item puzzles. Truly wacky, zany, and ani-mainy. I played Toontown as a kid so I’m predisposed to like this one. This is also the only game with Full Motion Video I’m putting on the list because FMV games can be an acquired taste.

Grim Fandango (1996/2015) $14.99 💕✨

“Something's rotten in the land of the dead, and you're being played for a sucker. Meet Manny Calavera, travel agent at the Department of Death. He sells luxury packages to souls on their four-year journey to eternal rest. But there's trouble in paradise. Help Manny untangle himself from a conspiracy that threatens his very salvation.“

Yesssssssss! I LOVE Grim Fandango! The iconic game directed by Tim Schaffer has received the best remaster I’ve seen a point n’ click receive. I cannot recommend Grim Fandango enough! Stick with it through the forest section, trust me.

The Last Express (1997) $5.99 ❕ 📚

“Paris, 1914. The world is on the brink of war and this train could push it over the edge. You are Robert Cath, a young American urgently summoned by your old friend Tyler Whitney to join him aboard the Paris-Constantinople express, departing from the Gare de l'Est on July 24th. Arriving late, you discover something has gone terribly wrong. Now you must untangle a complex web of political intrigue, suspense, romance, and betrayal. Every move you make could bring you closer to the truth or your own demise. Bon voyage! “

Ooooh I love a murder on a train! This game features rotoscope animation, which I love. Like The Colonel’s Bequest this game runs in real time, meaning the events of the game will unfold with or without you, depending on where you are at what time you’ll receive different information or see/miss different events. Very replayable with several different outcomes.

Sam & Max Save the World (Remastered) $19.99 💕

“ Sam is a six-foot canine detective with a love of justice. Max is a hyperkinetic rabbity-thing with a taste for mayhem. Together, they're the Freelance Police. And they're about to save the world.”

Sam & Max Save the World, originally released in episodes from 2006-2008 has been remastered and looks AMAZING! After LucasArts was shut down their game devs formed Tell Tale Games and produced three seasons of Sam & Max sequel games, all of which are great. But TellTale was shut down (and screwed over their employees) in 2018. Since then some of their devs have formed Skunkape Games and are currently remastering all of Tell Tale’s Sam & Max series (I’m thrilled). They’ve also adjusted some aspects of the game to make the game more inclusive and less **offensive. So imo it’s worth it to wait for the release of the other seasons to experience Sam & Max in pristine condition. Save the World is the only season out now, but you can get the non-remastered versions of Beyond Time and Space, and In The Devil’s Playhouse, here and here.

**I should note the “offensive” material in the original is not as egregious as say, The Dagger of Amon-Ra, but it’s just a nice change to see especially in a game I hold dear.

Emerald City Confidential (2009) $9.99 👧

“Explore the underbelly of Oz as Emerald City's most cunning detective! As Petra, you'll be lured deep into mysteries involving new foes and familiar faces; Scarecrow, Lion, and Toto included! This is Oz as you've never seen it before! Solve the mystery and unravel a conspiracy of magic and intrigue! Follow a case through five chapters full of puzzles, witnesses, suspects, and allies in this twist on a timeless classic! “

We’re moving out of the 1990s now. Emerald City Confidential is the Wizard of Oz meets film noir. I played this as 13 year old and have revisited it as an adult and I still eat it up. Wadjet Eye makes consistently good adventure games so check this one out!

The Blackwell Series (2006) $14.99 💕👧

“Meet Rosangela Blackwell, an embittered writer who just found out that she is a medium and that it’s her mission, whether she likes it or not, to assist tormented spirits and investigate other supernatural goings-on. She is assisted by the sardonic Joey Mallone, a ghost from the 1930s.”

Another Wadjet Eye game! I’ve seen these games recommended amoungst the Clue Crew before and I’ll just throw my own endorsement on the pile. Yeah I’m in love with Joey Mallone. What about it?

The Charnel House Trilogy (2015) $5.99 👧💀

“Witness The Charnel House Trilogy, the chronicle of one fateful night aboard a train bound for Augur Peak. Three thrilling, horrifying adventure games in one, from the depths of the Sepulchre.”

Plays like Blackwell, has a Blackwell reference at the beginning, okay you got me. This is a good, if kinda short, game. It’s very creepy, involves murder and has some gore/violence so watch out! I’m still waiting on the sequel Owl Cave!

Thimbleweed Park (2017) $19.99 👧

“A haunted hotel, an abandoned circus, a burnt-out pillow factory, a dead body pixelating under the bridge, toilets that run on vacuum tubes... you’ve never visited a place like this before.“

Made by Ron Gilbert and Gary Winnick the creators of the classic games Maniac Mansion and Monkey Island Thimbleweed Park is a love letter to the classics of the point and click adventure genre. Features 5 different playable characters, ala Maniac Mansion, who and how many you play is up to you! This one also has stand alone DLCs!

Unavowed (2018) $14.99 👧

“ A demon possessed you one year ago. Since that day, you unwillingly tore a trail of bloodshed through New York City. Your salvation comes in the form of the Unavowed – an ancient society dedicated to stopping evil.”

Okay I haven’t actually played this one, but I want to. Its a Wadjet Eye so you know it’s good. From the reviews I’ve seen this is the Blackwell Series meets Dragon Age. A point and click that incorporates RPG elements, I love that.

I also have a love of the more, strange, and unusual adventure games that I can't necessarily recommend with good conscience. So if you want bizarre 90s and early 2000s games of dubious quality hit me up.

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strangergrove · 5 years ago

Text

× VOL 002 × 05.02.2020 ×

TUMBLR | @pretty-bratty AO3 | prettybratty

× Baby Can You See Through the Tears ×

SERIES: Baby Can You See Through the Tears

CHAPTERS: 11/?

WORD COUNT: 60,811

There are a few things that Billy knows about Steve Harrington. Not a single one of them explains Harrington's weird as fuck behavior lately.

(or, when Steve acts out, it's apparently up to Billy to fix it, even if he doesn't know it himself yet).

Pretty-bratty weaves a beautifully cathartic story of desperation and release, of loneliness and compassion, of found family, of love. The story unfolds from Billy's POV, which allows us to see first-hand the struggles he experiences as he tries to improve himself and become someone Steve can not only trust and feel protected by, but someone he can count on to give him the structure and discipline he's been desperately lacking his entire life. Billy struggles with his feelings for Steve, with voicing them. At the same time, Steve struggles with learning to trust and obey and let someone actually take care of him for once, because even though that's all he craves, it's been ingrained into him that it's not okay to want that, to need that.

The story and characters are wonderful, but the writing itself is beautiful too. There are moments, lines, that just strike you and you have to reread them. There are pokets of stardust woven into the fabric of the story and it's such a delight every time you come across one. The whole fic is a delight. I look forward to every single update of this story.

× This aesthetic piece ×

FICLET

A short and stunning piece about the way the world seems to glow at every edge when you're madly in love with someone the way Billy is with Steve.

The writing here is just so beautiful and sensory. Reading it feels like looking through old Polaroids and reminiscing about those golden moments you had forgotten about. There's something in the way the words are woven together that feels good, sounds good in my head. It's sweet and fizzy and you want to envelop yourself in the feel of it. It feels like it could be a scene from an incredibly heart warming movie.

× This piece ×

FICLET

This piece is about lingering pain, about the way things haunt us, about how sometimes it's just best to show you're hurting.

I love the way Steve's life presses at the edges of this story. We know the things he's been through, we know about his absentee parents, but most of the people in his life don't. You can feel the way this pulls at Steve, how everything in his life is constantly weighing on him. The way we're told that Steve has a particular phrase set on repeat in his head, but we're not privy to this phrase immediately is a great tool, because the suspense of what has been grinding through Steve's head parallels beautifully with the pressure building beneath his skin. We get that release at the same time as Steve.

TUMBLR | @greyspilot AO3 | greyspilot

× objects in the mirror are closer than they appear ×

WORD COUNT: 2,334

CHAPTERS: 1/1

Steve wasn’t scared of much anymore, but as he tip-toed through the woods, dead silent aside from the crunch of leaves beneath his feet, he couldn’t seem to help the chill that crept up his spine.

Reposted for Horrorscopes round 1.

This story is the kind of horror that you can feel but you can't see. It creeps on you, slowly, latching onto you with invisible hooks. I got chills twice while reading this. The suspense, the anticipation crawls through the story in just the right way, and the pacing is spot on. We feel the dread building, the sense of wrongness growing more intense with every line. We know. We know something is wrong, off, and we can't do anything about it.

The use of single sentence paragraphs in key areas of the story drives it in such a way you can feel everything beginning to spiral out of control. One of my favourite tools used in this wonderful piece is the mirroring of the beginning at the end. You see these lines in a different way, in a haunting way. It's a lovely dip into Harringrove horror.

× i'm falling again (but this time it's in love with you) ×

WORD COUNT: 3,453

CHAPTERS: 1/1

All he knew was that one moment he was out at the quarry, beer in hand and Billy by his side and the next he was wondering if Billy’s eyes had always been that blue, if his skin had always been that warm, if Steve had always wanted to kiss him.

He hadn’t even really had time to process it before he fucked it all up.

There is a special kind of ache resonating through the entirety of this piece. It's in the way both boys are hurting so keenly. It's in the way neither of them are able to find the words to mend themselves, to mend each other. It's in the beautiful, delicate golden thread of hope woven between them, a thread that has since snapped. You can feel the ache, right there between the beautifully sculpted sentences.

The story drops you right in, forcing you to find your bearings as Steve is finding his. Everything feels certain and yet uncertain at the same time. You're left to suss out what went wrong, what's happening now, why everything feels hopeless, like it's too late to fix things.

× for him. ×

WORD COUNT: 840

CHAPTERS: 1/1

words aren’t something he’s good at (especially those words; he was never taught to say them), but steve needs to hear it, so billy would learn to say it. for him.

This piece is short and sweet, but there are a lot of things that aren't explicitly said, things we see in the thoughts and actions of our sweet boys. Steve's insecurities are so grounded in everything we know about him, in things we may not actively consider. Steve's entire life, he's always occupied a position that has led, in some form or another, to emotional dissatisfaction. So who could blame him for assuming the same of Billy? And Billy's entire life, well, when your mother tells you she loves you before abandoning you, how can you put much stock in those kinds of words? This beautiful piece explores the way these two types of thinking can clash, how they affect not only the person they belong to, but the person closest to them.

TUMBLR | @saltstuck AO3 | saltstuck

× cravings ×

WORD COUNT: 1,585

CHAPTERS: 1/1

“I bet you can’t go a week without smoking,” she’d said.

“Bet you a month of rides to the arcade that you lose,” she’d said.

and Billy, like a fucking idiot, had scoffed, said, “A month of zero rides when I win or no deal.”

Yeah, real smart, Hargrove. Real smart.

Hasn’t even been a full day and he’s ready to throw in the fucking towel. Fuck this bet, fuck his pride, and fuck Maxine.

God, he wants a fucking cigarette.

This piece has a very nostalgic feel to it, like coming home after a summer away. Billy and Steve are so in-character it's like watching a deleted scene, one that we should have gotten, one that we deserve, that the boys deserved. Billy's on edge, a ticking time bomb waiting to go off, and you feel it. You feel the itch beneath his skin, the little twitches, the craving.

The shift from one craving to another is exquisite. It feels natural and right and pulls the reader right along, to exactly where they want to go, to where that fix is.

× magnets ×

WORD COUNT: 939

CHAPTERS: 1/1

Steve knew it when he struck. He knew it by the crack of laughter bursting in the echo, when his lip split bloody under Billy’s fist, when porcelain shattered on bone and tile. Bathed in Billy’s brutality, he knew.

They were the same.

The calculation and manipulation in this story is subtle, it's its own artform. You can feel it slithering through the text, guiding an unwitting Billy along. There's a fantastic play here between caring and wanting to help, wanting to fix things, and wanting to fix the right things, or perhaps they're actually the wrong things, and put things back in places maybe they didn't go before, but places they fit so well.

× strangers in the city ×

WORD COUNT: 1,734

CHAPTERS: 1/1

Billy misses his Camaro, yeah, but the perpetually exhausted pretty boy he gets to stare at every day on the bus makes up for it.

AKA Steve needs his coffee and Billy can't keep his eyes off of him.

I absolutely adore this story. I've read it a few times since it was first posted and I smile ever time I reread it. The tone of the story is very much Billy, with its matter-of-factness and spunky attitude. It has the feel of Billy telling someone the story of how he met the love of his life.

One of the things I love most about this story is how natural and real it feels. We crush on people and it usually doesn't go the way we want, even for someone like Billy Hargrove. Things can get messy or weird, and it's no different for these boys. I love getting the opportunity to watch them try to work things out when things don't go according to plan.

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knjnvrland · 5 years ago

Text

Prank Wars - ch. 4

> pairing | jungkook x reader

> word count | 5.6k

> genre | college!au, fluff, smut, angst

> warnings | swearing, sexual harassment

> synopsis | College can be a stressful time in anyone’s life as it is, why don’t we throw a little prank war in the mix to make it harder?

> fic masterlist

> A/N | English is not my first language, I'm sorry for the eventual spelling mistake, please let me know if you find any! Things start to get a little bit heavy in this chapter, it's not much but it still is something and I ask you to be aware of that. Please be safe. I'd also like to add that I'm updating frequently now because I have a few chapter already written, once those are done I'll probably take a little longer to post.

CHAPTER 4 - Pink Drink Thrower Horse Girl

Hoseok was stressed trying to find back up dancers for his final performance, the one that was worth 50% of his grade and pretty much settled if he would or not be approved. Jimin was already helping out, of course, but his classmates all had their own performances to worry about, and Jimin’s classmates, even the nicest ones, didn’t think they could fit more rehearsals into their busy schedules. At least that’s what they told Hobi, but Jimin knew that everyone was secretly a bit afraid of the older dancer. He was too, actually, but he also loved Hobi too much to say no. But it wasn’t enough, Hoseok need at least a couple more dancers for the routine he had prepared to work, and he was cutting a bit too close. That’s why, when Jungkook approached him while he was at the library, it didn’t take much for him to carve.

“Please hyung, she’ll never know it was you” Jungkook pleaded, elbows on the table, body anchored forward, full on puppy eyes mode right in front of Hoseok’s food.

“You’re hanging with Taehyung too much” Jungkook plopped back down on the chair and moved his hair back with a huff, to what Hoseok showed no reaction to.

“I’ll be your backup dancer” it’s what got his attention “if you tell me the guy’s name, I’ll help you out on the finals”

“I'm listening” Hobi leaned back and stoped anxiously munching on his snacks.

“I’ll even get Taehyung to dance too, you need two, don’t you?” Hoseok nodded “Then we’ll do it, just tell me his name”

“And why would you want that?” He still didn’t know where Jungkook wanted to get with this, and he knew it couldn’t be anything good.

“Would you believe me if I told you I was just trying to help her out too?” Hoseok glared at him “Ok, but if I tell you you’ll become an accomplice, do you want that?”

“Fair enough, his name is Ray, we rehearse at studio twelve every day at seven, if you or Tae ever get there late I’m whipping your ass” Hobi said in a single breath and stood up, gathering his stuff to go to class while Jungkook scribbled the name on the side of his notebook. “He does something with engineer, if that helps”

“Thanks hyung” Jungkook turned but Hoseok was already gone, and a few people on the table over were looking at him weird, but it didn’t matter, because now he knew how to get back at you.

A couple of days passed before Jungkook could put his plan into action, he needed to find the perfect moment, and the perfect moment just happened to be at Yoongi’s lunch break. They were both at the university’s radio studio and some indie R&B song was on while the two boys ate their ramen quietly. Yoongi was good at mixing up trendy songs with really underground ones during his time on the radio, and along with his producing skills, he was a pretty amazing rapper as well, witch made him nearly unbeatable as far as audiences go. That and the fact that his program was on from mid morning to mid afternoon, when the campus was usually packed. Jungkook or Alice would drop by with food sometimes, knowing that Yoongi would forget to eat lunch if they didn’t, but Jungkook would actually help out as well, and they had just began to work in a few of Yoongi’s side pieces, along with Namjoon, so it wasn’t weird for Jungkook to just be at the studio at random hours of his day.

That afternoon, however, it wasn’t as innocent as it usually was. While Yoongi left to throw out the trash, Jungkook got into the transmission booth and took his chance when he saw it. He locked the door from the inside out and, even though Yoongi obviously knew the password, it would give him a couple more seconds that could be essential for it all to work. Spending as much time as he did there, he knew his way around all the technical equipment and, when he noticed the song that was on was reaching its end, he stopped the playlist that Yoongi prepared and started broadcasting.

“Hello hello and good afternoon to every student out there on their lunch breaks” Jungkook spoke into the mic “We have a special request today from a dear friend of mine, and I own her one so: y/n, this is for you”

You were at the cafeteria with Namjoon when it started. The both of you recognized Jungkook’s voice straight away and started paying attention, but it didn’t really seem to bother that many people around you. That is, until your name was mentioned. Yoongi would never mention names, he would sometimes receive more personal requests and do dedications, but he would never ever say the names of anyone. So when a name was mentioned, everyone stopped for a second to listen.

“For those of you who don’t know, y/n is the horse girl that dyed Delta Sigma’s kitchen pink a while back” Jungkook’s voice kept coming from the speakers and you felt your face starting to get warm. Namjoon looked around but everyone was paying attention and not really looking at the two of you, either way his brotherly instincts kicked off and he dialed Yoongi straight away to find out what the fuck was going on. “And was at Delta Sigma that she met the guy of her dreams”.

Yoongi had just entered the studio when his phone started ringing, seeing as it was Namjoon he just ignored and assumed that they were both trying to do the same thing: murder Jeon Jungkook. The “on air” sign was still on and, as much as Yoongi wanted to burst through the door and drag him out, he also had a job and a reputation to keep, so he decided to just send the younger boy a homicidal glare through the window before cutting the transmission, but Jungkook was faster and as soon as he saw Yoongi opening the door, he sped up to get to the real deal.

“So if you’re Ray from engineering, just know that horse girl really wants to ride you” the transmission ended abruptly and a soft mellow tune started playing as if nothing had ever happened. Everyone around you was whispering or laughing quietly, and you began to feel a couple of eyes being averted to you.

“I think Yoongi got in” Namjoon put his phone down, having had his call ignored “JK is so dead” deep down he knew that it was all in good fun and the talking wouldn’t last long, but he could few how annoyed you were from across the table.

“I hope he is, ‘cause if Yoongi don’t kill him I sure will” you bit your apple angrily, and your brother laughed.

“Just let it go, it will die down soon enough” you took another bite, staring straight ahead at nothing, contemplating the most painful ways you could commit murder and not get caught. “Please don’t do anything stupid, this will get out of hand way too fast.”

You knew your brother was only looking out for you, but in your head you were already plotting the next step to wipe the smile out of Jungkook’s face once and for all.

“Who is that Ray guy, anyway?” Namjoon resumed eating, assuming it was best to ignore the look on your face and the whispers going around and just try to distract you.

“I am” a guy stood behind Namjoon and had a shy smile on his lips. He was in a simple blue shirt that matched his eyes and looked as good as you have even seen him. “Hey, y/n”

“Oh my god Ray” you stood up and swallowed the piece of fruit you were still chewing in a rush, starting your non stop anxious mumble "I’m so sorry that was my… a guy called Jungkook, we’re in this kind of war with each other I don’t know how he found out your name or that I talked to you and I’m so embarrassed I don’t even know where to begin to apologize I promise I will personally kill him and make sure he never speaks of you again-“ Ray just smiled patiently at you.

“Hey it’s okay, breathe” you took a deep breath in and laughed even more embarrassed at the whole situation.

“But really, I’m so so sorry” you covered your face with your hands, knowing you were redder then the apple you were just eating.

“It’s fine, I’m actually glad because I’ve been trying to find you for a while now and what a coincidence we were both here when that happened” he turned around to point at a table on the other side of the cafeteria where a few guys from Delta Sigma sat “JB knew who you were and spotted you here” JB and a few others waved and you waved back shyly.

“I will never live down this embarrassment” you stated, more to yourself than to Ray “I can’t even-“

“If you want to apologize so bad, you could go out to dinner with me this weekend” he interrupted you again and this time actually left you speechless.

“And that’s my cue to leave” Namjoon grabbed his tray and backpack and stood up “take care sis, don’t commit murder” he winked your way and you blushed even more, if that was even possible. Being asked out in those circunstantes in front of your brother was definitely up there in the ranking of humiliating situations you’ve been in.

“So… Friday?” Ray was looking at you with the same expression from the night you first met, the one that made him look like a greek god, and suddenly you forgot what language you even speak.

“Ye-yeah, sure!” You were a little too bewildered about what was going on.

“Give me your phone” you responded on auto-pilot, and watched as he typed in something and then took out his own phone, showing you he had called himself “I’ll text you later” he handed you back the device and winked at you, at what you only stood there, frozen. You had never in your life had so little game at a flirting situation. You were definitely losing this game and honestly? You didn’t even mind that much.

“Okay” Was all you managed to say, before he turned around and walked back to his table. You must’ve stood there a few seconds too long but finally you picked up your stuff and left. You still had a Jungkook to kill and even if that whole mess turned out kind of alright, you couldn’t help but get more and more angry again with every pair of eyes staring at you as you made your way out of the cafeteria.

Funny enough, you couldn’t find Jungkook for the rest of the week. That boy was in every single sports team he could be in and as the semester neared it’s end he was training for something nearly every day, so whenever you got together with someone from the group, he was never around. Taehyung was the one who told you Jungkook was still alive, but not for long as he wanted to murder the boy as much as you did, seeing as now, on top of all the art work he had to finish, he was also having dance practice everyday with the scariest instructor ever: Hoseok. So, in Tae’s own words, “get in line”. You didn’t worry much, though, because throughout the week Ray texted you constantly and you really enjoyed talking to someone outside your friends for once.

Friday finally came along and you were excited for your date. Ever since you got to college you didn’t have the time or the stamina to date anyone, and your last serious relationship was when you were still in high school. In the year you spent abroad you didn’t want to get to know someone only to have to say goodbye soon, so you only maintained a couple casual booty calls and that was it. You were rough around the edges when it came to actually having dinner with a cute guy and Alice had to stop you from biting your nails off during the entire time she was fixing your hair in a pretty loose braid.

“It’s done” she stated, admiring her work. She picked up her phone and took a picture to show you, and you were very grateful once again to have her in your life.

“Thank you Al” you smiled at your friend through the mirror and she dismissed you with her hand. “he should be here any time now, when do you leave?” Alice was going back home for the weekend on the last train of the day.

“Yoongi will come pick me up soon, please don’t get in trouble while I’m out” she pleaded, like you were a little kid.

“I won’t, mom” you rolled your eyes and she jokingly sticked her tongue out to you. Your phone notified a text and you checked to see that it was Ray letting you know he was downstairs. “He’s here, do I look okay?” You had a short black dress on, trying way harder than you generally did, and even though the dress was long sleeved and you had stockings and you favorite leather jacket on as well, you could tell you’d be cold throughout the night.

“You look hot… but also cold” Alice handed you your jacket while you putted on your heeled boots.

“And my brother’s awful sense of humor is getting to you” You grabbed you jacket and hung it over your shoulders.

“What can I say, Jin’s rubbing off on me” Alice then handed you your purse and you thanked her quickly, excited to begin your sure to be fun night “I dropped a couple condoms in there, just to be safe” she winked at you and you once again rolled your eyes, getting out as soon as she bid you farewell.

Ray had a fancy car that was way out of a college student's budget for sure, but you enjoyed how comfortable and specially how warm it was. You went to a restaurant a bit out of town, it was this little cozy Chinese place that had some of the best dumplings you've ever had, and the conversation between the two of you flowed easily. You learned that he was majoring in computer engineering, after all, and lived out of campus in the same neighborhood as your brothers. You talked about favorite movies, because he wasn’t that into books, and about places you wanted to go. At the end of it he payed for the entire bill and held you hand on the way to the car.

On the drive back it started to rain softly and he turned on the radio but kept the volume low, you were distracted by the nice view of the ocean as you passed by the beach when he rested one of his hands on your thighs. It took you by surprise but you didn’t really mind, and soon you got used to the weigh of his hand on you. He then started to move his hand further up, and you rested yours on top of his to stop him when he was getting a little too close for comfort.

“What’s the matter, baby?” He purred, still looking at the road ahead. You didn’t know how to answer him, so you just pushed his hand back to where it first was and left yours still on top. “Didn’t you enjoy our date?” Once you didn’t answer he looked your way with the same charming smile as always, and you smiled back.

“I did, yeah” at that he pushed his hand a bit further up again, but not by much, and squeezed you a little.

“I'm glad, we could continue it for a little longer, don’t you think?” Your smile faltered a little, not knowing how to let him down easy. Is not that you didn’t want to spend more time with him, but when you were actually looking forward to date someone, you wouldn’t sleep with them on the first date.

“I'm a little tired, actually, it was a long week and I need to catch up on sleep” you were looking at his hand on you while you spoke, but you could see from the corner of your eyes his smile drop a little. “but we could go out again soon, if you’d like?”

“Hmm, I’d rather we extend tonight a little longer than postponing what we both know we want” he slipped his hand a little further up again. “My place or yours?” He looked at you for a second and you could see, for the first time, the hunger in his eyes now that his smile wasn’t as bright.

“I really just want to sleep tonight” you squeezed his hand, now unsure of what route to take. Outside, the rain was getting heavier and the speed of the car faster. “can you just drop me back at my place, we can go out again tomorrow.”

“I’m going straight to mine's” his voice no longer had the traces of kindness it had before. “You can either come with me or just find another ride home” you knew he was joking, he had to be, but then again he slipped his hand further up and turned to look at you while the car was already way above the speed limit “and it’s raining pretty hard now, so I don’t think you have a choice, really”

At that you snatched his hand away from your legs and hugged your jacket closer to your body. “just leave me here, then, I can find another ride home”. He still drove a few seconds, both hands on the steering wheel and you could see his knuckles going white with how much strength he was holding it, and that's when you really started to get scared. Then he started to slow down, and you started to believe again that he was only joking, but he slowed down until the car stopped completely.

“Get out then” he didn’t even look at your face. Outside the rain was even harder now and you could see the violent waves on the ocean at the distance. You stared at him and realized that this was actually your best chance, so you opened the door and got out.

You could barely close the door and he was already gone. And now you were alone at night in the middle of the road during a storm and saw no sign of another living thing anywhere near. You hugged your jacket as close to your body as you could and, seeing no other alternative, started walking. You were so caught up in you own misery it took you a few minutes to remember that phones are a thing that exist and that can be used in these kinds of situations, so you dug yours out of one of the jacket’s outside pockets only to realize it was dead. It could’ve been just the battery that ran out, or it could have been that it was soaking wet and you were dumb enough to leave your phone in your outside pocket during a storm. Having no other alternative, you just kept walking. A couple of cars passed you by, but no one stopped, and you don’t know how long you walked until you found a gas station with the lights inside still on.

You rushed in only to find a little man with dark skin and a thick white mustache behind the counter staring at you as if you were mad. You could understand him, though, you were soaking wet and your hair was nowhere near what it was at the beginning of the night, you rubbed your face only to see your hands painted with the leftovers of your once nicely done make up, and you knew you had murder written all over your face. Man were trash, you had to remember yourself over and over. You were never dating anyone ever again.

“Hi sir, do you have a phone I can use, please?” The man nodded and took from behind the counter one of those old dial phones, and motioned it to you without saying a word. And that’s when you remembered: you didn’t know any numbers by heart beside your mom’s, and you really didn’t need to worry her. You could call the police, but really, what would they do too? You let out a sigh of frustration and promised yourself you’d start memorizing phone numbers from now on. You decided to take a look around the small convenience store and grabbed some tissues to at least try to dry yourself a bit, going back to the counter next to pay. As you took out the money from the inside pocket of your jacket, you noticed that amongst the few damp notes you had folded, there was also a small piece of paper with a number on it.

Jungkook’s number.

That was the same jacket you wore at the halloween party, and one of the paper’s you and Jimin were using as confetti must’ve gotten in there. You asked the man to use his phone again and dialed the number with one hand, while using the other to open up the pack of tissues you had just bought. It rang a few times and you were starting to get anxious when he picked up.

“Hello?” His voice sounded tired, and you knew you must’ve woken him up.

“Hey Jungkook, it’s me” your voice was shaking, you noticed, and the reality of your condition started settling in.

“y/n? It’s almost 3 am” he grunted on the other line, clearly annoyed. He had only gone to bed an hour ago, having stayed up late finishing up an assignment only to send it after the deadline anyway, and his legs were sore from the amount of exercise he was actually getting that week, all Jungkook needed was to sleep for as long as he could.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, could you rang Jin for me? My phone is dead and I’m in a bit of trouble, I need him to pick me up” he must have noticed how defeated you sounded, because all the red signs in his mind went off and he was suddenly very awake.

“Where are you?” Jungkook was already getting up, if you were in trouble there were no time to call anyone, he could pick you up himself, as much as he loathed you, you were still his best friend’s little sister, so he just putted on his shoes, not bothering to change out of his cozy outfit.

“I'm in a gas station in the middle of the road, I don’t think I’m too far from the city-“ at that the man behind the counter pointed at a sign above him that read ‘Pier 11’ on bright green colors “near pier 11?” You sounded unsure, but Jungkook had been there before.

“The one near the beach, with the green neon light up front?” He was already waiting for the elevator on his hall, and for a second he wondered if he should actually call Jin.

“Yeah, that’s the one” but your voice was shaking and he didn’t know why, but he just really needed to make sure you were alright.

“Ok, I’ll be right there” at that he hung up and you thanked the man, handing him back his phone. The man handed you some keys and pointed at a door on the other side of the small store, and you assumed it must be a restroom, so you headed there to try and get yourself back together.

Looking at the mirror you realized your mascara had run all the way down your cheeks and your lips were so white they were almost blue. Your hair was a mess and it took you a while to untangle it from what used to be the pretty braid Alice gave you. You took your jacket off and washed your face with warm water, but your entire body was shaking because of how cold you were, so it didn’t help much. You finished cleaning up as much as you could and dried yourself to the best of your ability with the rest of the tissues you had, and took a sit on the corner of the bathroom, hiding your face in between your knees, you took a few deep breaths and probably more time trying to get your head in place then you realized, because that’s when you heard the bell of the front door ring.

“Y/n?” You recognized Jungkook’s voice, so you grabbed your jacket from the floor beside you and stepped out, not bothering putting it back again. The second he saw you, his already furrowed brows grew deeper. “hey, you okay?” You nodded, and went to the counter to give back the keys to the old man, thanking him silently. “Let's go, the car is outside” that’s when you noticed his hair was a bit wet as well, and he was in very pajamas like clothes, only a hoodie, a pair of sweatpants and those black sneakers he wore all the time.

You followed him outside and he opened the door for you and then went around to get on his sit. Before even starting the car properly, he turned on the heater to the max and you let go of your jacket to put your hands in front of the air vent. He turned to the backseat and found a yellow jacket you remember seeing him wear before, handing it to you. He started driving quietly and you were, for once, thankful to have him in your life. He never asked you what happened, but the way he looked at you you could tell he was curious, so you told him. You were doing fine until it got to the part where Ray put his hands on you. At first you were just too angry to feel anything else, and then you were too cold and worrying about not dying, but now you were safe and slightly warmer in a car with someone you came to trust and before you noticed your eyes were filled with tears and your throat was shut.

Jungkook didn’t know how to react. You were always quick to clap back and hot headed, and he had yet to see you lower your head to anyone, so seeing you try to hold back tears after the hell of a night he was sure you had, it just broke something inside of him. You brought your hand to your mouth so you could bite on the side of your nails, but Jungkook intercepted your movement and held your hand in his in front of you. “You’re alright now” he said, barely a whisper, but you could understand. And that’s all it took. You letted go of his hand and covered your face, letting the tears roam free inside the small dome you created in front of you. You sobbed silently for a few seconds, and then took a deep breath in, realizing something you haven’t thought of before.

“I can’t go back home now” you stated, more to yourself than to him “he knows where I live and Alice’s out of town for the weekend”.

“do you want to crash at mine’s?” He offered, in a heartbeat.

“I don’t want to bother you, really” you couldn’t even look at him.

“You won’t, I promise you” he smiled softly at you, and you couldn’t help but be grateful for it. “Besides, I feel kinda responsible” his smile slipped and he looked back at the road ahead, the city around you dead and quiet in the middle of the stormy night.

“It’s not your fault.” You were quick to response “but thank you”.

You were back at his place in no time and, as soon as you stepped in, you realized you had never actually been here. The layout of the loft was the same as Yoongi’s, who lived a few floors down, but it was so different at the same time. Yoongi’s was very crowded with stuff, action figures, sound system, his producing material and clothes everywhere, while Jungkook’s was surprisingly clean. He had a few movie posters on the wall, and some photography equipment in the shelves and in one of the corners, but aside from a small pile of clothes near his bed, everything else was very minimalistic and neat. While you were looking around, Jungkook went to grab you a towel and some warm clothes, handing them to you and grabbing his now wet jacket in return.

“Go take a shower, I’l make you some tea so you don’t get sick” he bossed around and you’d be annoyed otherwise but you were still a little bit in chock and just followed his instructions, hopping into the bathroom the take a shower. He had nice hair products and a soap that smelled like peaches -smelled like him, you realized. You took your time getting clean, trying to wash away not only the dirt from the rain and from the road, but also everything else that took place that night. When you got out dressed in clothes similar as the one’s Jungkook was wearing, the boy was at the small table for two he had separating the kitchen from the rest of the place, with a couple mugs in front of him. He was busy scrolling trough his phone to notice you were back out, and only looked up when you were already sitting in front of him.

You were both quiet while you drank your tea, but the tension around was starting to be too much to bear. “Thank you” you blurted out, not really looking at him.

“It’s alright, really” he reassured you “but I was wondering, why did you call me?” That was eating him inside from the moment he hung up the call, and seeing the small smile grow on your lips he decided he didn’t have to know why for sure, but he was glad you did.

“It was the only number I had” the confusion only grew on him “I found one of the papers that you had written your phone in one of my pockets, the one’s you gave the boys last year?” You tried to jog his memory “Jimin still had a bunch of them on him and we were playing around a while back, one must’ve slipped inside my jacket and I never noticed.” You were looking at your lap, so you never saw the small smile that showed up on Jungkook’s face.

“If he still have that many he didn’t do his job properly, that’s why I couldn’t get a date recently” he joked around and got a small laugh out of you in return, but it turned into a yawn and soon both of you were on sleep mode. “You can have the bed, I can sleep on the floor” he offered, but his bed was big enough for the both of you and you didn’t find fair to cast him out in his own home.

“I don’t mind sharing” you stood up, grabbing the mugs and leaving them at the kitchen sink as if you’ve done it a thousand times.

“Are you sure?” And that’s when you realized Jungkook was a nice guy. A little rough around the edges, sure, but a nice guy nonetheless.

“Yes, I’m sure. Besides, it’s too cold for you to sleep on the floor” you made your way to the left side of the bed, as the right side had the covers pulled and you assumed that’s where he was sleeping before you called.

“I won’t argue with that” he got in as well and turned down the lights, but you could still make out his profile from the light that creeped in from the window. You both fell into silence, but you could tell none of you were actually asleep.

You don’t know how long you were just laying quietly on the dark listening to his breathing, you were very tired, and emotionally drained for sure, but for some reason you just wanted to stay awake a little longer. Eventually the tiredness got the best of you and you fell into a dreamless rest. Jungkook, however, stayed up a little longer. It was silent enough for him to hear every single small noise you made and even though he noticed you had fallen asleep, he still felt like he had to say something. A while later, you turned around and rested one of your arms over his chest, hugging him sideways. He held his breath, trying not to bother you but also not knowing what to do. Your hands were still cold and he noticed your pale lips, so he made another one of the many bad decisions in his life related to you: he scooted closer and passed one of his arms under your neck. If you had woken up he didn’t notice, but you molded yourself into him, resting your head on his chest and wrapping one leg around him as well. He then grabbed your hand with his and took it closer to his lips, blowing hot air on it until it wasn’t freezing anymore. He could feel your heart beating through your wrist and that’s the rhythm he followed until he too, was falling into a dreamless sleep.

> A/N | A little bit of angst, a little bit of fluff. It will start to get a little bit angstier from now on, and I'm planning to touch on a couple of difficult subjects moving forward, so please read with caution. Have a nice day, wherever and whoever you are :)

TAGLIST | @w1tchcraftt ; @girlwiththeglittereyeliner ;

TAGLIST IS OPEN!

#jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook smut #bts fanfic #bts x you #college!bts #university bts #bts fic #university!au #college!au #smut #fluff #angst #prank wars

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nightimedreamersworld · 5 years ago

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Ten Question Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @sharing-a-room-with-an-open-fire @adamarks @theflyingpeach and @the-clueless-philosopher 💖❤️

1) What’s your favorite genre to write?

I don't know?? I think Urban Fantasy or Magical realism (which are the genres of some ideas I'm nurturing), but aside from that... Contemporary? Dunno, pal.

2) Do you pull inspiration from real-life, or do you pull things from other books/ fanfiction you’ve read?

I think it's natural for writers to pull inspiration from books/fanfiction we read, even when it's not consciously. It's just like... Everything we read inspires and resonates with us in different levels, so there's that.

I also pull inspiration from real life, yeah. Especially for dialogue and character quirks, which I think makes them seem more natural/believable.

3) Do you tend to write one-shots, short stories, or longer things?

Oh, man. I... Might have a little problem. It's like my brain tries to stretch every single idea I have, no matter how simple it may be, into a novel-lengthy fic.

It's like.. I find it hard to write short stories. Or even one-shots (that don't have to be necessarily short). But I've been experimenting with shorter things (drabbles, for example), and I have some ideas that I could turn into one-shots.

4) Do you prefer to write description or dialogue?

I don't have a preference, actually. Some days I'm just in the mood to dig into long descriptions, and some days I have neither patience not time for that. These days, dialogue comes more naturally. Overall, I try to keep things balanced.

(Especially because I get bored if there's no action happening, so I try to keep the characters moving; their thoughts or physically.)

5) Favorite fic/book of all time?

Me: Oh no. A list of favorite things.

My brain: Time to go blank!

Seriously, tho. I'll just say the first 100 that come to mind, in no specifical order:

Books: The boy in the striped pyjamas; The Hunger Games trilogy; The Raven Cycle; Navigating Early; The Chronicles of Narnia; Bridge to Terabithia; All the Bright Places; They Both Die at the End; The weight of the Stars; and Carry on and Wayward Son, Of course!

As for fanfiction... I think I'm going for "Stay up with Me" by @sharkmartini because this thing haunted me in my sleep. I mean, it was absolutely wonderful and heartbreaking, and I couldn't stop thinking about it for days. Reading it felt like someone sticking a hand inside my chest and squeezing my heart, and by the end I just felt groundless.

(I thought I was evil.) (I want to be like you when I grow up @sharkmartini )

6) Favorite trope?

Wait for it... Just wait...

ROAD TRIP AUS!!!

I seriously couldn't believe when I found out this would be Wayward Son's plot. I was like... SCREECH. I think it's partially because I have this dream of leaving everything behind and hitting the road to nowhere for indeterminate time. (Whick I can't do, ofc. So, fanfiction!)

But I'm also a sucker for Soulmate AUs (ahem. I'm writing one rn), and I love High Fantasy/historical AUs with all my heart. Also, text fics are so fun to read! Also, Superhero/Villain AUs. Which aren't so common on this fandom, unfortunately. Oh, and don't forget to bring the #angst with a happy ending, of course.

7) Are you the kind of person to work on more than one wip?

Definitely not.

First of all, I'm a slow writer. Second, when I start working on a project, it takes over my mind. It's really hard for me to divide my attention like this, because I get really invested in whatever I'm writing at the time. So.

(I'm working on two WIPs right now, though. Not really sensible on my part, but I'll make it work.)

8) How long have you been writing for?

For this fandom? Since January. (Not a long time, I know.)

But I've been writing in general since... I can't recall. Probably since I learned how to write. I remember writing stories when I was seven. Then nine. Then I was eleven and attempted to write my first fanfiction. Then, at the tender age of 13, I attempted my first book. I finished none of them.

9) Do you tend to write more during the morning, afternoon, or evening?

Evening. Late at night. When I should be sleeping, y'know.

It's just that, well, I'm a night owl. Besides, the night is the only time I have to write when I'm studying. (Now that I'm quarantined, tho, any time is a good time to write.)

10) Do you prefer to post and update your wip chapter by chapter, or do you prefer to wait until your wip is 100% finished before sharing it?

I post chapter by chapter because I crave attention and feedback. That's it.

(I also get anxious if I don't post immediately after I've finished writing.)

I'm working on a fic for the COBB, though, and it will only come out in July, so I hope to have it all finished by then.

Tagging @phoxphyre @sourcherrymagiks @pipsqueakparker @neck-mole @bazypitchandsimonsnow

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chriswhitewolf · 4 years ago

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Omfg. Y'all.

Content warning for My Mom's An Ableist Bigot, Doesn't Support People of Color, Sia's 'Music' being an horrendous thing, and reference to the organization Autism Speaks and it's absolutely awful views on Autism.

Proceed at your own discretion.

I've been following the discussions surrounding Sia's movie Music (DON'T WATCH OR SUPPORT IT!) because it's something I take interest in and it's part of a societal issue I am passionate about. I've talked about it with my mother several times previously, just about how awful Sia's been and how harmful the movie itself is.

Today I mentioned that I'd learned that Sia worked with Autism Speaks to create the character Music, and how horrible that is when autism speaks is heavily despised by the autistic community.

And she was like "okay but what's wrong with autism speaks??" And I mentioned some of the stuff I knew about them that were awful, and eventually pulled up a video going through the timeline of events from its founding. She was on her laptop on their website the whole time being like "they removed the thing about curing autism from their mission statement in 2016" and just being like 'but their website doesn't say that now. And it came to a point where I was like "y'know even if we don't or can't see how or why or what is so wrong about them, the fact that most autistic people are against the organization is what really matters, because they're the ones directly affected."

And she goes "yeah, sure."

Like. I've been reminding myself that I really came expect much if anything from her at all on any topic, but like.

I've got ADHD. My oldest brother is on the spectrum. Literally two of her four children are ND.

But somehow the thoughts and opinions and voices of the autistic community shouldn't be the main focus??? Like. I know I can't expect much but I did think she was better than this.

It's just.

Like.

I can't. I don't have words to describe the thoughts and feelings this gives me.

I know she's an asshole, and an abuser, and tends to disregard things like the opinions and experiences of marginalized groups but.

I still believed she was at least enough of a decent human being to not react with that in this situation.

This isn't even mentioning her trying to defend the movie by being like 'but is she really trying to say that this is an okay way to treat autism and autistic people?' 'Are we sure she didn't intend well? Is she not just trying to show the harsh and painful realities of autistic life??'

Like. When it's that bad and that extreme, I don't give a fuck what the initial intentions were. Intentions mean jack shit to Impact.

I can call you an ugly fat asshole and not mean it to be upsetting or hurtful. But if it is, than that's on me.

Impact matters more than intention, and people have to take responsibility for the impact of an action or statement instead of arguing that it's the other person's fault for getting hurt by it.

Content warning: the text below may trigger some individuals, please take care of yourself and don't read if you might be triggered by:

Mentions of emotional and verbal abuse, disassociation

Also just cause I realize I haven't really mentioned this yet and I wanna update anyone who like cares:

My parents are hella abusive. I realize I have a lot of posts where I speak about my struggle to determine if their treatment was abusive or simply unintentionally insensitive. I did work up the courage to look for what qualifies as emotional/verbal abuse, and I was absolutely appalled by the sheer extent of the "criteria" their treatment of me meets. I actually was completely emotionally dissociated for the rest of the day after seeing just how much of what I've endured is abuse.

Unfortunately as I'm over the age of 18, and thus legally an adult, there's really nothing I can do as far as legal consequences. I'm also unable to move out or cut ties, as my health issues and disabilities prevent me from working. As far as the law goes, the most I could do is file a restraining order against them, which, again, I am incapable of living independently at this time. So, I'm hoping I can start picking up commission work on my Tarot Reading blog ( @chriswhitewolf ), and I'm working to improve my candle making abilities to start selling candles online. I own everything I need but I'm horribly inexperienced and the candles I've made this far are....lackluster and disappointing. Once I've got a decent skill set for it I'll start selling them and will update y'all on links to that. Thanks to everyone who follows me and shows their support in likes and comments and reblogs, it means a lot to me to know that people actually read the stuff I post and follow me.

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themarginalartist · 8 years ago

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Gotta agree with the fact of every character being OC. I doubt there is difference between chars with studios behind them and chars made by one peep. Most interesting is the creativity with most of all, I think. Could read anything as far as it is creative. But how do you set good vibes to reader to make him stay and be excited for next chapter? I can see it happening on me when reading something, but I don't seem to find the key of doings to do so while I'm really interested on how

(I am so sorry this got really, really, really long so I’m putting it under a readmore, I am not kidding, this is ridiculously long. I checked before posting and it’s 1576 words (not including this bit here), which is like my normal chapter length so read at your own risk I guess???)

I mean a character is usually created by one person, or at least the initial concept of them is, then expanded on either by that person or the writers in order to weave them into the story.

As far as getting a reader interested… I am not really sure why a lot of people are interested in my things…

But usually the way that gets me interested in reading something, and I am basing this off my response to different novels I’ve read (I’ll get to fan fics in a sec), is a combo of the synopsis and the first chapter being the hook. Now not every synopsis makes me want to read a novel, I have read many books where the synopsis made me go “huh” which is like mild interest, and then I start the first chapter if I have time, if by the time I am done with the first 2-3 pages and I haven’t found anything interesting the book gets put back.

There was one time at a scholastics book fair that I read like the first 3 chapters of a book, it was while I was in high school and my brother was still in elementary school, but like I was hooked the moment I read it… The title escapes me though…

As far as fanfics go, I used to be the most avid reader of them in my friend group, admittedly at the time I was looking for a very specific fandom and such, but my preference for fanfics is a longer story or longer chapters. My friends were not that way… Which made getting recommendations and giving them hard.

But as far as what I like to see when I am browsing for a new fic is if the fic is hosted on FF.net or Ao3 a synopsis that doesn’t give the main plot away, but gives a quick intro to the idea, so for example on Think Ink (which I should update that synopsis I think) the bad version would be “Henry’s also been turned into an Ink Demon and now he has to figure himself out. Fighting different studio members and searchers in his journey to understanding himself.” where as “Henry woke up covered in ink, a spike of fear rushing through him, his life forever changed from that moment on.” is a bit better (not the best but yeah).

Then comes the spelling and grammar component which I can’t stress enough. If the fics first chapter is extremely bad, and I am talking to the point were the word used is wrong, the spelling is wrong on a number of words, and there isn’t a clear tense being used, then I exit out, it doesn’t matter if I really like the synopsis or something or it’s an AU I liked, if the grammar and spelling makes the fic unreadable then it’s game over.

Next is characterization, similar to spelling and grammar, if the character you are using is portrayed wrong, it’s also a game over. However there are a few exceptions to this. For example I used to really love Hetalia, the basic gist of the anime is that all the countries have a human representative but is also heavily biased as the Japanese stereotype of those countries. Italy in Hetalia is seen as an airheaded, easily frightened, guy who is a womanizer, eats pasta for literally every meal, surrenders in a second, and takes naps whenever possible, again this is the Japanese stereotype based in WW2. So if he’s characterized as being really serious there needs to be a damned good reason for it. You can’t just change a character to fit what you want if you’re basing it on someone else’s work.

Next comes plot. Plot is key for any fanfic, I mean yeah every once in a while it’s fun to read a one off or throw away fic of cute activities like baking and stuff, but there’s no action or craziness (unless it’s a fic disguising itself as such which is also fun). The goal of the first chapter is set up. In a novel the first chapter is about introducing the main character(s), the world, and what the problem is. And fanfic is no different, however it has the luxury of us already knowing the character (in a way at least, take Spiderman, there’s the basic concept but there’s also a number of versions of him from different cartoon series and comic series). We might also have the luxury of knowing the world already as well, so that can be sorted out really fast, the rules and nature of the world are defined so we don’t need to explain anything. So then comes the problem, what is the character facing, is there something going on right now or is it coming, do(es) the character(s) have the power to stop it now or are they going to have to travel. The goal of the rest of the story after the first chapter is to show how the character(s) grow and change as a result of the difficulties they face in order to take care of the problem.

And finally cutoffs. First what I mean by cutoffs is where an author chooses to create a time skip, scene change, or end of chapter point and I’ll talk about each of those in brief.

For a time skip, the only reason that should happen in a fic is if the task at hand would be meaningless for the reader to know about like them going through all the steps of baking a cake (unless it’s to show the characters relationship with each other then don’t skip) or if there is a large gap of time where nothing important happens and I am talking about years of time, which is what happens in Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, there is a 7 year period where Link is “gone” from the world and so when he comes back to it many changes have taken place and so it’s a call to action for him.

A scene change is similar to a time skip in some cases such as character x and y are driving and now scene change to x and y being at a motel for the night, but in other cases it’s a shift in who’s talking like we were getting told x’s point of view for a long time and now y is saying x is stupid or something.

And finally the end chapter cutoff, which is honestly a hard one, there has to be a reason for the end of a chapter, a lot of times cliffhangers are the main way to go about it, but also resolution of a current problem is important to consider. For example chapter 4 of Think Ink was a cliff hanger I purposefully put in, one because it was evil and made people want the next chapter, and two because I wasn’t ready to continue on with the story at that point, I can’t tell you the amount of “omg what the heck why did you cut off there” I got from people. Now compare that to chapter 10 of Think Ink, the end of that chapter is Henry and Bendy finally coming to an understanding of each other, what has been going on with each of them separately, and the beginning of repairing the bond. It ties up loose ends that Henry and Bendy had been facing for a long time.

Good vibes come from the care and dedication to the fic that you have. And every reader is different, they pick up on different things, they read something in different ways. I mean hell I have been asked if I wrote lines on purpose when the reality of the matter was I was just like hey this sounds good and it was by accident. But I think what a lot of people don’t think about is how not all stories have happy beginning, middle, and endings. Sometimes there is loss, there is anger, there is dumb decisions that a character made, there are mistakes and problems and too often I see fics that are just “oh everything is happy and good and light”, and that’s not interesting for a multi-chapter fic, maybe a chapter but not the whole thing.

So in reality there isn’t a short answer. It just depends on how well you can connect with your readers. And it takes time, there have been plenty of fics that I begin reading after 4-5 chapters are already out or the fic has been completed, so don’t worry if people aren’t reading yet, just keep going and stuff. And not everything I said has to be a part of the fic, time skip and scene jump all over the place, make mistakes and get wild with writing. And the biggest thing, and best way to get better, is to make note of what you like the most, what caused you to like a writer’s style, why did this work, what hints did the author drop in order to lead you to this plot point. And it sounds like school work… but that’s because this is what you have to do for basically every English/Language Arts essay ever. analyze the text…

Congratulations on making it to the end of this monster wall of text btw. 🎉🎉🎉

#thoughts in the margins #LONG ANSWER #I am so sorry #I just #have a lot of thoughts

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misspandalily · 8 years ago

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update! - Immortal Love (Ch8)

ANOTHER CHAPTER. FINALLY.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything, and I am certainly not excellent with brain anatomy/functioning.

AO3 | FFN

I take a tentative step forwards, praying that the shrieking will die away and the phantom figure from yesterday will dissipate.

Blink.

The piercing noise stops, to my relief. And then there's a blissful silence, save for the panting of late students running into school with their bags bobbing up and down behind them. I recognise Moegi streaming past and sending a brief wave before disappearing into another hallway.

Snap out of it, Tenten, you're just hearing things.

I swivel around for extra measure, skimming the immediate corridor for any signs of red paint or creepy messages. None. My breathing starts slowing down to a normal pace as I lean against the door of Umino's classroom, chest rising and falling with each intake and outtake of breath. The distinct smell of cleaning liquid and sweat flows into my nostrils the moment I calm down enough to start registering the other events transpiring around me, like the outline of Gai running to the beat of his exercise music in the school gym, and the disturbing notion that not one person passing by seems to have heard a thing. Which leads to two different, yet equally harrowing hypotheses:

One, my auditory cortex is acting up and everything unusual I've been hearing over the past two days is absolute bogus. (Rebuttal: But that doesn't explain why everything feels and sounds so real.)

Two, only I can hear the noises.

And, honestly, as bad as it sounds, I would take cranial dysfunction over the second option any day.

If training with Lee for three straight years has taught anyone anything, it's that exercise is the best aphrodisiac in the world. So, for the first time in days, and during first period no less (undoubtedly, Umino will be stamping a cold, hard detention next to my record), my feet carry themselves over to the dojo for some hearty frustration-venting, stress-relieving, one-sided violence.

Fun fact: it really doesn't hurt that no teacher ever ventures into the dojo unless they're immune to the scent of sweat, like Gai, who advocates for fitness and body positivity so fervently that he wouldn't kick me out even if he had to, "legal action be damned".

The pungent smell of perspiration diffuses throughout the centre with increasing rapidity when I start sinking my fists into the bag and round housing it into oblivion. Bend, twist, release. The bag swings up higher from the impact and creaks as it whooshes down like a pendulum. Breathe, Tennie. You're not going crazy. There's a perfectly logical explanation for everything - the weird noises, the raid, the paint, the threats.

It's just a stupid prank.

Please be a stupid prank.

"Fancy seeing you here," Temari angles a not-so-subtle glance at the flushed cheeks and sopping wet hair that is indicative of a post-exercise shower and frowns, "Where have you been?"

"In the dojo," I shrug, settling my tray onto the designated cafeteria table. "I didn't feel like going to class."

Which isn't exactly a lie, so to speak, as much as it is veiled truth.

She watches me carefully when I sit down and then turns away. "I heard something interesting from Hinata," she says with a tone of nonchalance.

"Oh?"

"She tells me that Neji told her that he's visiting your place tonight, at seven."

"So, does she also tell you that I told Neji that his visitation was pending approval, and from not-me?"

Temari lets the corners of her lips droop dramatically. "No. But I am glad that you two are on speaking terms again."

"Yeah, me too," I take a moment to breathe. "But, just curious. Did Neji happen to say anything else to Hinata...before she told you?"

"HA," Temari shouts, slamming her palms onto the hard plastic of the table as she stands up, chair legs scraping deafening against the floor. The sound echoes throughout the cafeteria and draws some startled glances from nearby patrons. "Not really," she shrugs, feigning disinterest and seating herself again. "Just that he wouldn't be home for dinner at Buckingham Palace again."

"I thought he lived with his mother?"

"Really?" She responds, genuinely incredulous.

"That's what he told me," I bite into a sandwich, letting its contents slide down my throat. Of course, right after that, he'd invited himself to my house for the night. And then my stalker decided to make themself known - at school. So clearly, they were a student, or someone who was skilled enough to disappear at a moment's notice. But seriously, that noise.

"Hm," she hums contemplatively, giving me a funny look.

"What?"

"I just had no idea he lived with her, is all. In fact, none of us did. Except you, now." Neji suddenly makes an appearance in the cafeteria with Naruto on one side and a grouchy Sasuke on the other. Temari eyes them thoughtfully. "Fascinating."

Fishy, is more like it. Hyuga heiress goes haywire over truffle advocacy, Hyuga poster boy pops in with a haircut - which, going by the rest of the Hyugas in their mansion, is uncommon to the point of unspeakable - and a determination to expose...something...tonight, Uchiha exchange student happens to move into the apartment next door, and right after making up with aforementioned Hyuga heiress, the apartment gets ransacked and creep-stamped, and said creep comes to school and disappears. Note to self: target Naruto to find out what happened at home; alternatively, ask Hinata herself. And avoid Sasuke.

Even if he has amazing cheekbones.

And the dreams. The first few are few enough to be dismissed as an overactive imagination. But, afterwards, it's coincidental. Almost real.

"-right, Tenten?"

"What?"

Temari looks over, mildly affronted that I didn't hear what she just said, and exchanges a Look with an apple-toting Ino, who responds with a suspicious glare.

"You were thinking about Neji, weren't you?"

"No," I say quickly, noticing said boy being pushed to the taekwondo team's table by Naruto. "Shut up. And I wasn't, for your information."

She folds her hands together and places her chin on top of her fingers. "Then what, pray tell, were you thinking about so deeply that prevented you from listening to the dulcet tones of my voice?"

"They weren't dulcet-"

"Yeah, that's great Temari," Ino waves her right hand dismissively, using the other to bring the apple to her mouth and bite it. "So, in all seriousness. Are you alright, Tenten?"

"Why? Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've just been a little...off. Lately. I mean, more so than usual."

"Wow. And I'm fine," I lie, but stress the last word anyway - because who in their right mind would believe my recounts of the past few days? Definitely not her, or Temari, or anyone except my grandparents. There simply isn't any point, at this moment in time, in venting about something that seems more likely to be happening in my mind as the days pass. "I'm tired, is all. From the dojo practice."

They see through the lie, clearly, and send each other another cryptic glance before resuming their meals.

"All I'm saying," Ino continues airily, "Is that if you're feeling bothered by anything at all, we're your friends and we're here to help."

"I'm fine," I respond sharply. Because, on top of everything that's been happening lately, there's still that big, gaping question of where my mother is. Where she had been, when Asuma Sarutobi died in a car crash. Why she hadn't been in that dinky little apartment next to Ichiraku's that she'd left behind right after his death. Why, when I'd been staying in it for months in the hopes that she'd come back and pull me into her arms and tell me that it's alright, you don't have to deal with this without me anymore, she hadn't shown up.

No calls, no texts, no emails. Not even a letter, or a word to her mother.

"I'm fine," I repeat in a softer tone. They spot the lie again, but choose to shrug it off. "Thank you."

You are no stranger to gilded finery. You live in a world where golden dragons line hallways, beads of jade crafted by the finest workers hang down the necks of court women, and food served on plates of gold are placed at your dinner table.

A delicate box of jewels delivered to your bedroom has no effect on you, in contrast to the letter accompanying it. Your husband, despite being a man of war, writes with elegant calligraphy.

He has been away for far longer than the expected time, but you are a patient woman. You spend your days preparing for your child's arrival, making small talk with the palace maids and busying yourself enough to collapse onto your bed in a state of fatigue every night.

And one day, the letters stop arriving. The ones you send out never find their home in the hands of a man with pale, white hands. You don't need to see the messenger arriving at the Palatial Court, scroll in hand and grim expression in place, to know what Fate has had in store for your husband. With great effort, you try to bar yourself from crying.

"Lord Hyuga has bestowed the greatest honour upon our country."

The Emperor - your father - sends him away with a flick of his wrist, eyes unwaveringly staring at the space where the messenger had been standing. There is a sudden kick from the inside of your belly. You lurch forwards, wincing at the pain but smiling sadly. Your mother looks to the side in concern.

"The child will be strong, like his father."

Another kick. The bottom of your robes begin to wet at a rapid pace. You lurch forward again, this time in unbearable pain.

The maids rush forward, hands frantically touching your shoulders, and then you hear your father roaring for the Royal Physician to arrive immediately.

It is time.

"A boy." The Physician beckons for the maids to wash the infant as soon as you feel them separate your baby from the cord. Some rush over with wet towels, while others hurriedly clean up the bloody mess on your bedsheets.

You feel weak, your throat sore and hoarse from the screaming. Suddenly, you realise why so many women dread childbirth.

But you are inexplicably, uncontrollably curious. "Let me see him," you order. Does he have his father's eyes? Or your brown hair? Will he speak like his father, write in fluid script and poetic verse? Or will he be more akin to you, with a sharp tongue and desire to escape? A desire to run away? The nurse carries your child over to you with a bright smile, announcing that the Emperor and Empress are pleased with the news.

At the very least, he will be loved by his grandparents. Still shaking and weak, you watch your baby being lowered into your arms, the blanket wrapped around him a brilliant blue. The moment he makes contact with your fingertips, however, results in another painful lurch. You gasp, eyes widening, desperately looking up at the Physician and nurses, who rush back to the end of your bed and lift up the blankets.

"There is another one!" One of them shouts, to your horror, "I can see the head!"

Your baby begins to cry, and you beg for him to be close to you. The nurses smile at you sympathetically. "After you are finished, you will be seeing both at the same time."

Your lower lip quivers, ready to outright demand to see your son, at the very least his face, but then your body jerks again and you scream.

You feel blood oozing down your legs, onto the mattress, and a sudden pain in your back. You breathe heavily, black spots flooding your vision, then look towards the baby in the adjacent cot and see his pale face and dark, dark hair. The nurses are patting a wet cloth over your forehead, begging you to keep pushing. Your body is screaming for you to rest, to stop, but it is your mind - fatigued from the simultaneous loss of a husband, elated from the birth of a son - that pushes you.

Hours later, the scream can be heard on the other end of the bed, a piercing shriek and the sensation of another mass leaving your body, is both relieving excruciatingly painful.

"A girl," the nurses note, with a less enthused tone. You nod, feeling yourself losing consciousness. The speech in the background is becoming nothing more than a soft hum. Your vision fades in and out intermittently. When you look up, the Physician is congratulating you, and then your husband is there, smiling softly and reaching for your cheek.

And then you know.

"Wait for me." You say. He smiles gently.

"I'm coming."

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