#anyway i was like great here comes the fear reactivity towards other dogs

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look at hims dancy legs

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New Post has been published on https://fitnesshealthyoga.com/what-is-loving-kindness-meditation-and-how-to-start-a-practice/

What is Loving-Kindness Meditation and How to Start a Practice

A 31-day loving-kindness meditation challenge was not going to be easy for a Yoga Journal Editor. But she was excited to see where the month would take her. 

I’m a little hesitant to say this as a Yoga Journal editor, but here goes: I do not have a strong meditation practice.

I always like to imagine myself sitting angelically on a meditation cushion, softly smiling as deep peace comes rushing to me. But in reality, my monkey mind and strong urge to “do it right” have kept me from a consistent, long-term practice.

So, when the Yoga Journal staff agreed to take on the 31-Day Meditation challenge to keep ourselves accountable throughout the month, I was game—if a little hesitant. There was a part of me that feared the unknown of meditation, and wondered what darkness within myself would potentially bubble up to the surface, which is why I chose to try loving-kindness meditation—a style of meditating that promised to help me intentionally work with negative emotions.

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See also 5 Poses to Inspire More Self-Love, Less Self Smack-Talk

What is Loving-Kindness?

I was instantly attracted to loving-kindness because I sometimes struggle with feelings of resentment, anger, jealousy, and comparison. While these feelings are normal and valid, I hoped this type of meditation would help me relay these feelings in a kinder, more loving way. I also wanted to hold more compassion and acceptance toward my co-workers, family, friends, and partner.

Thanks for watching!Visit Website

Thanks for watching!Visit Website

I honestly didn’t know much about the practice before beginning this challenge, so I reached out to loving-kindness expert and New York Times Bestselling author, Sharon Salzberg, to offer guidance throughout my meditation journey.

Loving-Kindness meditation uses a sequence of mantras to offer well-wishes to different people in your life. “Instead of using the breath as the central object, we use the silent repetition of certain phrases,” says Salzberg. “And the phrases are an offering to someone—a gift-giving.”

See also How a Daily Meditation Practice Helps You Find Trust

The most common loving-kindness mantra: may I be safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I live with ease. 

The Loving-Kindness Mantra

Salzberg recommended I stick with the most common mantra during my meditation challenge:

May I be safe May I be happy May I be healthy May I live with ease

All I had to do was repeat these phrases over and over again. When the time comes to focus on people beside yourself, just change the language from May I to May you.

“Your mind is going to wander,” Salzberg told me. “It’s not a bad thing at all. It’s just how we’ve been conditioned. The really critical moment in concentration is actually after we’ve realized we’ve been gone. Because that’s the moment we have a chance to learn how to let go more gently. We can return back to our object with more kindness to ourselves.”

Salzberg’s wisdom gave me a newfound hope about starting a sitting meditation practice. I had been putting so much pressure on myself to “do it right” that I was forgetting to give myself the space to explore something new as a beginner, which ultimately seemed like a great way to learn how to love myself in a gentler, kinder way. So, I embarked on this meditation challenge with a different mindset than ever before: I probably won’t be doing it perfectly for a while, and that is perfectly OK.

See also This One Simple Practice Will Change How You Feel About Yourself

The Loving-Kindness Sequence

The loving-kindness meditation sequence focuses on yourself first, and then you move down the list to different people within a category. You do not have to complete the sequence during every meditation session; sometimes you can sit with the feeling of one person throughout your entire practice or, as Salzberg recommended for me, break the sequence into four weeks to allow the love and compassion of the practice to slowly take hold.

Yourself The sequence begins with offering the phrases to yourself. Salzberg explains that it is often easiest to offer love to yourself first before you can offer love to others. She says that if this is difficult because of harmful self-talk, you can skip this portion until you feel ready. Personally, I found this section to be my favorite because it felt where I most needed the work. Sometimes I would only get through this section of the meditation before my session was up.

The Benefactor The second portion of the sequence goes to a benefactor. Salzberg asked me to think of someone or something that I identified as the definition of love. This doesn’t have to be a human or anyone in particular. She mentioned I could even think about my dog. I thought of my mom during this section, because I find her love to be unconditional and unwavering. 

A Friend  The third person is a friend, or someone you are fond of. Honestly, I skipped over this section in the sequence. As the weeks went on, I was eager to focus my attention on other types of people that I was having difficulty with. 

A Neutral Person The fourth person is a neutral person, such as a grocery store clerk you see often. She instructed me to think of someone who I hold no strong feeling about, neither positive or negative. I thought of my mailman—and now smile every time I see him dropping off the mail at my house. 

A Difficult Person  The fifth person is someone you find difficult. Salzberg advised that I shouldn’t think of my mortal enemy during this phase, but rather someone who I might have a minor disagreement with or get a little irritated by when we hang out. I initially thought it would be difficult for me to find a person for this section. But when the time came, I found it easy based on the stress I was experiencing at work. 

All Beings  The final portion of the loving-kindness sequence focuses on offering love and well-wishes to everyone. This could mean people all over the world or people you have not yet met.

See also A Simple Yin Meditation to Let Go of Your Inner Control Freak (and Why It Works)

Yoga Journal Editor, Samantha Trueheart, shares how her loving-kindness meditation went throughout the course of a month. 

My Experience With Loving-Kindness Meditation

I decided to start off small and only practice 15-minutes of meditation every night. Although Salzberg alluded that a morning meditation has more benefits, she also said, “the best time is when you’ll actually get it done.” I took that advice to heart and decided my morning routine was less organized than the one I do before bed, which would result in me making more excuses not to meditate.

My first week of meditation felt great: I focused on offering the mantra to myself and to my benefactor. Salzberg told me that the proof of success in this practice is when it shows through in real life. Within that first week, I noticed I began speaking to myself in a kinder way, eating healthier, feeling less reactive to work emails, and managing my stress with calmer tactics.

Sometimes random memories or repressed, shameful moments from my past would surface during my practice. Memories of my anxious pre-teen days surfaced, or how I might not have been as loving as I would have liked in interactions with family and friends. I tried to focus on the offering of love, to forgive myself, and to let go of the memory as a reminder that it no longer served me in the present moment.

When I offered the mantra to my mother, I noticed more feelings of sleepiness. That didn’t surprise me, because her voice used to soothe me to sleep. I didn’t always repeat the mantra throughout the full 15 minutes. Sometimes I just sat in these cozy, sleepy, safe feelings.

The second week of my meditation is when Yoga Journal’s January issue hit newsstands, and my practice took a new form. My digital job became even more stressful than usual as I fielded many negative social media posts about our decision to split the cover between Jessamyn Stanley and Maty Ezraty. I felt hurt as I read countless negative comments, and found myself filled with shame that we had failed our readers.

Then, I took those emotions and applied them to my loving-kindness practice.

I offered the mantra first to myself, then to those we hurt, then to the people spewing hatred toward us on social media, and finally to all Yoga Journal readers. Sometimes it was hard to get through the whole meditation because of sadness or anger. However, this meditation helped me feel compassion toward the people I felt were picking fights just for the sake of fighting. I realized that we’re all working through pain, and realized that ultimately, the naysayers just want to be loved and accepted—just like I do, too. 

As the weeks went on, it was as if I was marinating in loving-kindness meditation. I found myself saying the mantra during times of high stress at work or in my personal life. I even recited the mantra to myself when I was traveling and my airplane landing felt a little too bumpy for my own comfort.

The loving-kindness meditation was a way for me to slow down and understand my feelings before I reacted. Instead of yelling and acting out in anger at my neighbor’s loud party, I did the meditation and found myself letting go of the feeling of control, accepting the situation, and understanding that they weren’t being loud as a malicious act toward me.

On the last day of my 31-day meditation challenge, I realized I may never get to the point where meditation is an easy thing for me, and that my longing for deep, lasting peace will be a life-long journey. I told myself that it was OK to be right where I’m at today, and learned that the practice is really all about finding a way to love myself anyway. 

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Doing loving-kindness, a simple mantra-based meditation, for 15 minutes a day transformed how one writer handled conflict and helped her stay calm during times of stress.

A 31-day loving-kindness meditation challenge was not going to be easy for a Yoga Journal Editor. But she was excited to see where the month would take her. 

I’m a little hesitant to say this as a Yoga Journal editor, but here goes: I do not have a strong meditation practice.

I always like to imagine myself sitting angelically on a meditation cushion, softly smiling as deep peace comes rushing to me. But in reality, my monkey mind and strong urge to “do it right” have kept me from a consistent, long-term practice.

So, when the Yoga Journal staff agreed to take on the 31-Day Meditation challenge to keep ourselves accountable throughout the month, I was game—if a little hesitant. There was a part of me that feared the unknown of meditation, and wondered what darkness within myself would potentially bubble up to the surface, which is why I chose to try loving-kindness meditation—a style of meditating that promised to help me intentionally work with negative emotions.

See also 5 Poses to Inspire More Self-Love, Less Self Smack-Talk

What is Loving-Kindness?

I was instantly attracted to loving-kindness because I sometimes struggle with feelings of resentment, anger, jealousy, and comparison. While these feelings are normal and valid, I hoped this type of meditation would help me relay these feelings in a kinder, more loving way. I also wanted to hold more compassion and acceptance toward my co-workers, family, friends, and partner.

I honestly didn’t know much about the practice before beginning this challenge, so I reached out to loving-kindness expert and New York Times Bestselling author, Sharon Salzberg, to offer guidance throughout my meditation journey.

Loving-Kindness meditation uses a sequence of mantras to offer well-wishes to different people in your life. “Instead of using the breath as the central object, we use the silent repetition of certain phrases,” says Salzberg. “And the phrases are an offering to someone—a gift-giving.”

See also How a Daily Meditation Practice Helps You Find Trust

The most common loving-kindness mantra: may I be safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I live with ease. 

The Loving-Kindness Mantra

Salzberg recommended I stick with the most common mantra during my meditation challenge:

May I be safe May I be happy May I be healthy May I live with ease

All I had to do was repeat these phrases over and over again. When the time comes to focus on people beside yourself, just change the language from May I to May you.

“Your mind is going to wander,” Salzberg told me. “It’s not a bad thing at all. It’s just how we’ve been conditioned. The really critical moment in concentration is actually after we’ve realized we’ve been gone. Because that’s the moment we have a chance to learn how to let go more gently. We can return back to our object with more kindness to ourselves.”

Salzberg’s wisdom gave me a newfound hope about starting a sitting meditation practice. I had been putting so much pressure on myself to “do it right” that I was forgetting to give myself the space to explore something new as a beginner, which ultimately seemed like a great way to learn how to love myself in a gentler, kinder way. So, I embarked on this meditation challenge with a different mindset than ever before: I probably won’t be doing it perfectly for a while, and that is perfectly OK.

See also This One Simple Practice Will Change How You Feel About Yourself

The Loving-Kindness Sequence

The loving-kindness meditation sequence focuses on yourself first, and then you move down the list to different people within a category. You do not have to complete the sequence during every meditation session; sometimes you can sit with the feeling of one person throughout your entire practice or, as Salzberg recommended for me, break the sequence into four weeks to allow the love and compassion of the practice to slowly take hold.

Yourself The sequence begins with offering the phrases to yourself. Salzberg explains that it is often easiest to offer love to yourself first before you can offer love to others. She says that if this is difficult because of harmful self-talk, you can skip this portion until you feel ready. Personally, I found this section to be my favorite because it felt where I most needed the work. Sometimes I would only get through this section of the meditation before my session was up.

The Benefactor The second portion of the sequence goes to a benefactor. Salzberg asked me to think of someone or something that I identified as the definition of love. This doesn’t have to be a human or anyone in particular. She mentioned I could even think about my dog. I thought of my mom during this section, because I find her love to be unconditional and unwavering. 

A Friend  The third person is a friend, or someone you are fond of. Honestly, I skipped over this section in the sequence. As the weeks went on, I was eager to focus my attention on other types of people that I was having difficulty with. 

A Neutral Person The fourth person is a neutral person, such as a grocery store clerk you see often. She instructed me to think of someone who I hold no strong feeling about, neither positive or negative. I thought of my mailman—and now smile every time I see him dropping off the mail at my house. 

A Difficult Person  The fifth person is someone you find difficult. Salzberg advised that I shouldn’t think of my mortal enemy during this phase, but rather someone who I might have a minor disagreement with or get a little irritated by when we hang out. I initially thought it would be difficult for me to find a person for this section. But when the time came, I found it easy based on the stress I was experiencing at work. 

All Beings  The final portion of the loving-kindness sequence focuses on offering love and well-wishes to everyone. This could mean people all over the world or people you have not yet met.

See also A Simple Yin Meditation to Let Go of Your Inner Control Freak (and Why It Works)

Yoga Journal Editor, Samantha Trueheart, shares how her loving-kindness meditation went throughout the course of a month. 

My Experience With Loving-Kindness Meditation

I decided to start off small and only practice 15-minutes of meditation every night. Although Salzberg alluded that a morning meditation has more benefits, she also said, “the best time is when you’ll actually get it done.” I took that advice to heart and decided my morning routine was less organized than the one I do before bed, which would result in me making more excuses not to meditate.

My first week of meditation felt great: I focused on offering the mantra to myself and to my benefactor. Salzberg told me that the proof of success in this practice is when it shows through in real life. Within that first week, I noticed I began speaking to myself in a kinder way, eating healthier, feeling less reactive to work emails, and managing my stress with calmer tactics.

Sometimes random memories or repressed, shameful moments from my past would surface during my practice. Memories of my anxious pre-teen days surfaced, or how I might not have been as loving as I would have liked in interactions with family and friends. I tried to focus on the offering of love, to forgive myself, and to let go of the memory as a reminder that it no longer served me in the present moment.

When I offered the mantra to my mother, I noticed more feelings of sleepiness. That didn’t surprise me, because her voice used to soothe me to sleep. I didn’t always repeat the mantra throughout the full 15 minutes. Sometimes I just sat in these cozy, sleepy, safe feelings.

The second week of my meditation is when Yoga Journal’s January issue hit newsstands, and my practice took a new form. My digital job became even more stressful than usual as I fielded many negative social media posts about our decision to split the cover between Jessamyn Stanley and Maty Ezraty. I felt hurt as I read countless negative comments, and found myself filled with shame that we had failed our readers.

Then, I took those emotions and applied them to my loving-kindness practice.

I offered the mantra first to myself, then to those we hurt, then to the people spewing hatred toward us on social media, and finally to all Yoga Journal readers. Sometimes it was hard to get through the whole meditation because of sadness or anger. However, this meditation helped me feel compassion toward the people I felt were picking fights just for the sake of fighting. I realized that we’re all working through pain, and realized that ultimately, the naysayers just want to be loved and accepted—just like I do, too. 

As the weeks went on, it was as if I was marinating in loving-kindness meditation. I found myself saying the mantra during times of high stress at work or in my personal life. I even recited the mantra to myself when I was traveling and my airplane landing felt a little too bumpy for my own comfort.

The loving-kindness meditation was a way for me to slow down and understand my feelings before I reacted. Instead of yelling and acting out in anger at my neighbor’s loud party, I did the meditation and found myself letting go of the feeling of control, accepting the situation, and understanding that they weren’t being loud as a malicious act toward me.

On the last day of my 31-day meditation challenge, I realized I may never get to the point where meditation is an easy thing for me, and that my longing for deep, lasting peace will be a life-long journey. I told myself that it was OK to be right where I’m at today, and learned that the practice is really all about finding a way to love myself anyway. 

[cedarrrun]

Doing loving-kindness, a simple mantra-based meditation, for 15 minutes a day transformed how one writer handled conflict and helped her stay calm during times of stress.

A 31-day loving-kindness meditation challenge was not going to be easy for a Yoga Journal Editor. But she was excited to see where the month would take her. 

I’m a little hesitant to say this as a Yoga Journal editor, but here goes: I do not have a strong meditation practice.

I always like to imagine myself sitting angelically on a meditation cushion, softly smiling as deep peace comes rushing to me. But in reality, my monkey mind and strong urge to “do it right” have kept me from a consistent, long-term practice.

So, when the Yoga Journal staff agreed to take on the 31-Day Meditation challenge to keep ourselves accountable throughout the month, I was game—if a little hesitant. There was a part of me that feared the unknown of meditation, and wondered what darkness within myself would potentially bubble up to the surface, which is why I chose to try loving-kindness meditation—a style of meditating that promised to help me intentionally work with negative emotions.

See also 5 Poses to Inspire More Self-Love, Less Self Smack-Talk

What is Loving-Kindness?

I was instantly attracted to loving-kindness because I sometimes struggle with feelings of resentment, anger, jealousy, and comparison. While these feelings are normal and valid, I hoped this type of meditation would help me relay these feelings in a kinder, more loving way. I also wanted to hold more compassion and acceptance toward my co-workers, family, friends, and partner.

I honestly didn’t know much about the practice before beginning this challenge, so I reached out to loving-kindness expert and New York Times Bestselling author, Sharon Salzberg, to offer guidance throughout my meditation journey.

Loving-Kindness meditation uses a sequence of mantras to offer well-wishes to different people in your life. “Instead of using the breath as the central object, we use the silent repetition of certain phrases,” says Salzberg. “And the phrases are an offering to someone—a gift-giving.”

See also How a Daily Meditation Practice Helps You Find Trust

The most common loving-kindness mantra: may I be safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I live with ease. 

The Loving-Kindness Mantra

Salzberg recommended I stick with the most common mantra during my meditation challenge:

May I be safe May I be happy May I be healthy May I live with ease

All I had to do was repeat these phrases over and over again. When the time comes to focus on people beside yourself, just change the language from May I to May you.

“Your mind is going to wander,” Salzberg told me. “It’s not a bad thing at all. It’s just how we’ve been conditioned. The really critical moment in concentration is actually after we’ve realized we’ve been gone. Because that’s the moment we have a chance to learn how to let go more gently. We can return back to our object with more kindness to ourselves.”

Salzberg’s wisdom gave me a newfound hope about starting a sitting meditation practice. I had been putting so much pressure on myself to “do it right” that I was forgetting to give myself the space to explore something new as a beginner, which ultimately seemed like a great way to learn how to love myself in a gentler, kinder way. So, I embarked on this meditation challenge with a different mindset than ever before: I probably won’t be doing it perfectly for a while, and that is perfectly OK.

See also This One Simple Practice Will Change How You Feel About Yourself

The Loving-Kindness Sequence

The loving-kindness meditation sequence focuses on yourself first, and then you move down the list to different people within a category. You do not have to complete the sequence during every meditation session; sometimes you can sit with the feeling of one person throughout your entire practice or, as Salzberg recommended for me, break the sequence into four weeks to allow the love and compassion of the practice to slowly take hold.

Yourself The sequence begins with offering the phrases to yourself. Salzberg explains that it is often easiest to offer love to yourself first before you can offer love to others. She says that if this is difficult because of harmful self-talk, you can skip this portion until you feel ready. Personally, I found this section to be my favorite because it felt where I most needed the work. Sometimes I would only get through this section of the meditation before my session was up.

The Benefactor The second portion of the sequence goes to a benefactor. Salzberg asked me to think of someone or something that I identified as the definition of love. This doesn’t have to be a human or anyone in particular. She mentioned I could even think about my dog. I thought of my mom during this section, because I find her love to be unconditional and unwavering. 

A Friend  The third person is a friend, or someone you are fond of. Honestly, I skipped over this section in the sequence. As the weeks went on, I was eager to focus my attention on other types of people that I was having difficulty with. 

A Neutral Person The fourth person is a neutral person, such as a grocery store clerk you see often. She instructed me to think of someone who I hold no strong feeling about, neither positive or negative. I thought of my mailman—and now smile every time I see him dropping off the mail at my house. 

A Difficult Person  The fifth person is someone you find difficult. Salzberg advised that I shouldn’t think of my mortal enemy during this phase, but rather someone who I might have a minor disagreement with or get a little irritated by when we hang out. I initially thought it would be difficult for me to find a person for this section. But when the time came, I found it easy based on the stress I was experiencing at work. 

All Beings  The final portion of the loving-kindness sequence focuses on offering love and well-wishes to everyone. This could mean people all over the world or people you have not yet met.

See also A Simple Yin Meditation to Let Go of Your Inner Control Freak (and Why It Works)

Yoga Journal Editor, Samantha Trueheart, shares how her loving-kindness meditation went throughout the course of a month. 

My Experience With Loving-Kindness Meditation

I decided to start off small and only practice 15-minutes of meditation every night. Although Salzberg alluded that a morning meditation has more benefits, she also said, “the best time is when you’ll actually get it done.” I took that advice to heart and decided my morning routine was less organized than the one I do before bed, which would result in me making more excuses not to meditate.

My first week of meditation felt great: I focused on offering the mantra to myself and to my benefactor. Salzberg told me that the proof of success in this practice is when it shows through in real life. Within that first week, I noticed I began speaking to myself in a kinder way, eating healthier, feeling less reactive to work emails, and managing my stress with calmer tactics.

Sometimes random memories or repressed, shameful moments from my past would surface during my practice. Memories of my anxious pre-teen days surfaced, or how I might not have been as loving as I would have liked in interactions with family and friends. I tried to focus on the offering of love, to forgive myself, and to let go of the memory as a reminder that it no longer served me in the present moment.

When I offered the mantra to my mother, I noticed more feelings of sleepiness. That didn’t surprise me, because her voice used to soothe me to sleep. I didn’t always repeat the mantra throughout the full 15 minutes. Sometimes I just sat in these cozy, sleepy, safe feelings.

The second week of my meditation is when Yoga Journal’s January issue hit newsstands, and my practice took a new form. My digital job became even more stressful than usual as I fielded many negative social media posts about our decision to split the cover between Jessamyn Stanley and Maty Ezraty. I felt hurt as I read countless negative comments, and found myself filled with shame that we had failed our readers.

Then, I took those emotions and applied them to my loving-kindness practice.

I offered the mantra first to myself, then to those we hurt, then to the people spewing hatred toward us on social media, and finally to all Yoga Journal readers. Sometimes it was hard to get through the whole meditation because of sadness or anger. However, this meditation helped me feel compassion toward the people I felt were picking fights just for the sake of fighting. I realized that we’re all working through pain, and realized that ultimately, the naysayers just want to be loved and accepted—just like I do, too. 

As the weeks went on, it was as if I was marinating in loving-kindness meditation. I found myself saying the mantra during times of high stress at work or in my personal life. I even recited the mantra to myself when I was traveling and my airplane landing felt a little too bumpy for my own comfort.

The loving-kindness meditation was a way for me to slow down and understand my feelings before I reacted. Instead of yelling and acting out in anger at my neighbor’s loud party, I did the meditation and found myself letting go of the feeling of control, accepting the situation, and understanding that they weren’t being loud as a malicious act toward me.

On the last day of my 31-day meditation challenge, I realized I may never get to the point where meditation is an easy thing for me, and that my longing for deep, lasting peace will be a life-long journey. I told myself that it was OK to be right where I’m at today, and learned that the practice is really all about finding a way to love myself anyway. 

[remedialmassage]

How a 31-Day Loving-Kindness Meditation Challenge Transformed My Relationships and Reduced My Anxiety

Doing loving-kindness, a simple mantra-based meditation, for 15 minutes a day transformed how one writer handled conflict and helped her stay calm during times of stress.

A 31-day loving-kindness meditation challenge was not going to be easy for a Yoga Journal Editor. But she was excited to see where the month would take her. 

I’m a little hesitant to say this as a Yoga Journal editor, but here goes: I do not have a strong meditation practice.

I always like to imagine myself sitting angelically on a meditation cushion, softly smiling as deep peace comes rushing to me. But in reality, my monkey mind and strong urge to “do it right” have kept me from a consistent, long-term practice.

So, when the Yoga Journal staff agreed to take on the 31-Day Meditation challenge to keep ourselves accountable throughout the month, I was game—if a little hesitant. There was a part of me that feared the unknown of meditation, and wondered what darkness within myself would potentially bubble up to the surface, which is why I chose to try loving-kindness meditation—a style of meditating that promised to help me intentionally work with negative emotions.

See also 5 Poses to Inspire More Self-Love, Less Self Smack-Talk

What is Loving-Kindness?

I was instantly attracted to loving-kindness because I sometimes struggle with feelings of resentment, anger, jealousy, and comparison. While these feelings are normal and valid, I hoped this type of meditation would help me relay these feelings in a kinder, more loving way. I also wanted to hold more compassion and acceptance toward my co-workers, family, friends, and partner.

I honestly didn’t know much about the practice before beginning this challenge, so I reached out to loving-kindness expert and New York Times Bestselling author, Sharon Salzberg, to offer guidance throughout my meditation journey.

Loving-Kindness meditation uses a sequence of mantras to offer well-wishes to different people in your life. “Instead of using the breath as the central object, we use the silent repetition of certain phrases,” says Salzberg. “And the phrases are an offering to someone—a gift-giving.”

See also How a Daily Meditation Practice Helps You Find Trust

The most common loving-kindness mantra: may I be safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I live with ease. 

The Loving-Kindness Mantra

Salzberg recommended I stick with the most common mantra during my meditation challenge:

May I be safe May I be happy May I be healthy May I live with ease

All I had to do was repeat these phrases over and over again. When the time comes to focus on people beside yourself, just change the language from May I to May you.

“Your mind is going to wander,” Salzberg told me. “It’s not a bad thing at all. It’s just how we’ve been conditioned. The really critical moment in concentration is actually after we’ve realized we’ve been gone. Because that’s the moment we have a chance to learn how to let go more gently. We can return back to our object with more kindness to ourselves.”

Salzberg’s wisdom gave me a newfound hope about starting a sitting meditation practice. I had been putting so much pressure on myself to “do it right” that I was forgetting to give myself the space to explore something new as a beginner, which ultimately seemed like a great way to learn how to love myself in a gentler, kinder way. So, I embarked on this meditation challenge with a different mindset than ever before: I probably won’t be doing it perfectly for a while, and that is perfectly OK.

See also This One Simple Practice Will Change How You Feel About Yourself

The Loving-Kindness Sequence

The loving-kindness meditation sequence focuses on yourself first, and then you move down the list to different people within a category. You do not have to complete the sequence during every meditation session; sometimes you can sit with the feeling of one person throughout your entire practice or, as Salzberg recommended for me, break the sequence into four weeks to allow the love and compassion of the practice to slowly take hold.

Yourself The sequence begins with offering the phrases to yourself. Salzberg explains that it is often easiest to offer love to yourself first before you can offer love to others. She says that if this is difficult because of harmful self-talk, you can skip this portion until you feel ready. Personally, I found this section to be my favorite because it felt where I most needed the work. Sometimes I would only get through this section of the meditation before my session was up.

The Benefactor The second portion of the sequence goes to a benefactor. Salzberg asked me to think of someone or something that I identified as the definition of love. This doesn’t have to be a human or anyone in particular. She mentioned I could even think about my dog. I thought of my mom during this section, because I find her love to be unconditional and unwavering. 

A Friend  The third person is a friend, or someone you are fond of. Honestly, I skipped over this section in the sequence. As the weeks went on, I was eager to focus my attention on other types of people that I was having difficulty with. 

A Neutral Person The fourth person is a neutral person, such as a grocery store clerk you see often. She instructed me to think of someone who I hold no strong feeling about, neither positive or negative. I thought of my mailman—and now smile every time I see him dropping off the mail at my house. 

A Difficult Person  The fifth person is someone you find difficult. Salzberg advised that I shouldn’t think of my mortal enemy during this phase, but rather someone who I might have a minor disagreement with or get a little irritated by when we hang out. I initially thought it would be difficult for me to find a person for this section. But when the time came, I found it easy based on the stress I was experiencing at work. 

All Beings  The final portion of the loving-kindness sequence focuses on offering love and well-wishes to everyone. This could mean people all over the world or people you have not yet met.

See also A Simple Yin Meditation to Let Go of Your Inner Control Freak (and Why It Works)

Yoga Journal Editor, Samantha Trueheart, shares how her loving-kindness meditation went throughout the course of a month. 

My Experience With Loving-Kindness Meditation

I decided to start off small and only practice 15-minutes of meditation every night. Although Salzberg alluded that a morning meditation has more benefits, she also said, “the best time is when you’ll actually get it done.” I took that advice to heart and decided my morning routine was less organized than the one I do before bed, which would result in me making more excuses not to meditate.

My first week of meditation felt great: I focused on offering the mantra to myself and to my benefactor. Salzberg told me that the proof of success in this practice is when it shows through in real life. Within that first week, I noticed I began speaking to myself in a kinder way, eating healthier, feeling less reactive to work emails, and managing my stress with calmer tactics.

Sometimes random memories or repressed, shameful moments from my past would surface during my practice. Memories of my anxious pre-teen days surfaced, or how I might not have been as loving as I would have liked in interactions with family and friends. I tried to focus on the offering of love, to forgive myself, and to let go of the memory as a reminder that it no longer served me in the present moment.

When I offered the mantra to my mother, I noticed more feelings of sleepiness. That didn’t surprise me, because her voice used to soothe me to sleep. I didn’t always repeat the mantra throughout the full 15 minutes. Sometimes I just sat in these cozy, sleepy, safe feelings.

The second week of my meditation is when Yoga Journal’s January issue hit newsstands, and my practice took a new form. My digital job became even more stressful than usual as I fielded many negative social media posts about our decision to split the cover between Jessamyn Stanley and Maty Ezraty. I felt hurt as I read countless negative comments, and found myself filled with shame that we had failed our readers.

Then, I took those emotions and applied them to my loving-kindness practice.

I offered the mantra first to myself, then to those we hurt, then to the people spewing hatred toward us on social media, and finally to all Yoga Journal readers. Sometimes it was hard to get through the whole meditation because of sadness or anger. However, this meditation helped me feel compassion toward the people I felt were picking fights just for the sake of fighting. I realized that we’re all working through pain, and realized that ultimately, the naysayers just want to be loved and accepted—just like I do, too. 

As the weeks went on, it was as if I was marinating in loving-kindness meditation. I found myself saying the mantra during times of high stress at work or in my personal life. I even recited the mantra to myself when I was traveling and my airplane landing felt a little too bumpy for my own comfort.

The loving-kindness meditation was a way for me to slow down and understand my feelings before I reacted. Instead of yelling and acting out in anger at my neighbor’s loud party, I did the meditation and found myself letting go of the feeling of control, accepting the situation, and understanding that they weren’t being loud as a malicious act toward me.

On the last day of my 31-day meditation challenge, I realized I may never get to the point where meditation is an easy thing for me, and that my longing for deep, lasting peace will be a life-long journey. I told myself that it was OK to be right where I’m at today, and learned that the practice is really all about finding a way to love myself anyway. 

from Yoga Journal https://ift.tt/2UcUElR

[amyddaniels]

How a 31-Day Loving-Kindness Meditation Challenge Transformed My Relationships and Reduced My Anxiety

Doing loving-kindness, a simple mantra-based meditation, for 15 minutes a day transformed how one writer handled conflict and helped her stay calm during times of stress.

A 31-day loving-kindness meditation challenge was not going to be easy for a Yoga Journal Editor. But she was excited to see where the month would take her. 

I’m a little hesitant to say this as a Yoga Journal editor, but here goes: I do not have a strong meditation practice.

I always like to imagine myself sitting angelically on a meditation cushion, softly smiling as deep peace comes rushing to me. But in reality, my monkey mind and strong urge to “do it right” have kept me from a consistent, long-term practice.

So, when the Yoga Journal staff agreed to take on the 31-Day Meditation challenge to keep ourselves accountable throughout the month, I was game—if a little hesitant. There was a part of me that feared the unknown of meditation, and wondered what darkness within myself would potentially bubble up to the surface, which is why I chose to try loving-kindness meditation—a style of meditating that promised to help me intentionally work with negative emotions.

See also 5 Poses to Inspire More Self-Love, Less Self Smack-Talk

What is Loving-Kindness?

I was instantly attracted to loving-kindness because I sometimes struggle with feelings of resentment, anger, jealousy, and comparison. While these feelings are normal and valid, I hoped this type of meditation would help me relay these feelings in a kinder, more loving way. I also wanted to hold more compassion and acceptance toward my co-workers, family, friends, and partner.

I honestly didn’t know much about the practice before beginning this challenge, so I reached out to loving-kindness expert and New York Times Bestselling author, Sharon Salzberg, to offer guidance throughout my meditation journey.

Loving-Kindness meditation uses a sequence of mantras to offer well-wishes to different people in your life. “Instead of using the breath as the central object, we use the silent repetition of certain phrases,” says Salzberg. “And the phrases are an offering to someone—a gift-giving.”

See also How a Daily Meditation Practice Helps You Find Trust

The most common loving-kindness mantra: may I be safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I live with ease. 

The Loving-Kindness Mantra

Salzberg recommended I stick with the most common mantra during my meditation challenge:

May I be safe May I be happy May I be healthy May I live with ease

All I had to do was repeat these phrases over and over again. When the time comes to focus on people beside yourself, just change the language from May I to May you.

“Your mind is going to wander,” Salzberg told me. “It’s not a bad thing at all. It’s just how we’ve been conditioned. The really critical moment in concentration is actually after we’ve realized we’ve been gone. Because that’s the moment we have a chance to learn how to let go more gently. We can return back to our object with more kindness to ourselves.”

Salzberg’s wisdom gave me a newfound hope about starting a sitting meditation practice. I had been putting so much pressure on myself to “do it right” that I was forgetting to give myself the space to explore something new as a beginner, which ultimately seemed like a great way to learn how to love myself in a gentler, kinder way. So, I embarked on this meditation challenge with a different mindset than ever before: I probably won’t be doing it perfectly for a while, and that is perfectly OK.

See also This One Simple Practice Will Change How You Feel About Yourself

The Loving-Kindness Sequence

The loving-kindness meditation sequence focuses on yourself first, and then you move down the list to different people within a category. You do not have to complete the sequence during every meditation session; sometimes you can sit with the feeling of one person throughout your entire practice or, as Salzberg recommended for me, break the sequence into four weeks to allow the love and compassion of the practice to slowly take hold.

Yourself The sequence begins with offering the phrases to yourself. Salzberg explains that it is often easiest to offer love to yourself first before you can offer love to others. She says that if this is difficult because of harmful self-talk, you can skip this portion until you feel ready. Personally, I found this section to be my favorite because it felt where I most needed the work. Sometimes I would only get through this section of the meditation before my session was up.

The Benefactor The second portion of the sequence goes to a benefactor. Salzberg asked me to think of someone or something that I identified as the definition of love. This doesn’t have to be a human or anyone in particular. She mentioned I could even think about my dog. I thought of my mom during this section, because I find her love to be unconditional and unwavering. 

A Friend  The third person is a friend, or someone you are fond of. Honestly, I skipped over this section in the sequence. As the weeks went on, I was eager to focus my attention on other types of people that I was having difficulty with. 

A Neutral Person The fourth person is a neutral person, such as a grocery store clerk you see often. She instructed me to think of someone who I hold no strong feeling about, neither positive or negative. I thought of my mailman—and now smile every time I see him dropping off the mail at my house. 

A Difficult Person  The fifth person is someone you find difficult. Salzberg advised that I shouldn’t think of my mortal enemy during this phase, but rather someone who I might have a minor disagreement with or get a little irritated by when we hang out. I initially thought it would be difficult for me to find a person for this section. But when the time came, I found it easy based on the stress I was experiencing at work. 

All Beings  The final portion of the loving-kindness sequence focuses on offering love and well-wishes to everyone. This could mean people all over the world or people you have not yet met.

See also A Simple Yin Meditation to Let Go of Your Inner Control Freak (and Why It Works)

Yoga Journal Editor, Samantha Trueheart, shares how her loving-kindness meditation went throughout the course of a month. 

My Experience With Loving-Kindness Meditation

I decided to start off small and only practice 15-minutes of meditation every night. Although Salzberg alluded that a morning meditation has more benefits, she also said, “the best time is when you’ll actually get it done.” I took that advice to heart and decided my morning routine was less organized than the one I do before bed, which would result in me making more excuses not to meditate.

My first week of meditation felt great: I focused on offering the mantra to myself and to my benefactor. Salzberg told me that the proof of success in this practice is when it shows through in real life. Within that first week, I noticed I began speaking to myself in a kinder way, eating healthier, feeling less reactive to work emails, and managing my stress with calmer tactics.

Sometimes random memories or repressed, shameful moments from my past would surface during my practice. Memories of my anxious pre-teen days surfaced, or how I might not have been as loving as I would have liked in interactions with family and friends. I tried to focus on the offering of love, to forgive myself, and to let go of the memory as a reminder that it no longer served me in the present moment.

When I offered the mantra to my mother, I noticed more feelings of sleepiness. That didn’t surprise me, because her voice used to soothe me to sleep. I didn’t always repeat the mantra throughout the full 15 minutes. Sometimes I just sat in these cozy, sleepy, safe feelings.

The second week of my meditation is when Yoga Journal’s January issue hit newsstands, and my practice took a new form. My digital job became even more stressful than usual as I fielded many negative social media posts about our decision to split the cover between Jessamyn Stanley and Maty Ezraty. I felt hurt as I read countless negative comments, and found myself filled with shame that we had failed our readers.

Then, I took those emotions and applied them to my loving-kindness practice.

I offered the mantra first to myself, then to those we hurt, then to the people spewing hatred toward us on social media, and finally to all Yoga Journal readers. Sometimes it was hard to get through the whole meditation because of sadness or anger. However, this meditation helped me feel compassion toward the people I felt were picking fights just for the sake of fighting. I realized that we’re all working through pain, and realized that ultimately, the naysayers just want to be loved and accepted—just like I do, too. 

As the weeks went on, it was as if I was marinating in loving-kindness meditation. I found myself saying the mantra during times of high stress at work or in my personal life. I even recited the mantra to myself when I was traveling and my airplane landing felt a little too bumpy for my own comfort.

The loving-kindness meditation was a way for me to slow down and understand my feelings before I reacted. Instead of yelling and acting out in anger at my neighbor’s loud party, I did the meditation and found myself letting go of the feeling of control, accepting the situation, and understanding that they weren’t being loud as a malicious act toward me.

On the last day of my 31-day meditation challenge, I realized I may never get to the point where meditation is an easy thing for me, and that my longing for deep, lasting peace will be a life-long journey. I told myself that it was OK to be right where I’m at today, and learned that the practice is really all about finding a way to love myself anyway. 

[emdogtrainingdiary-blog]

My first three pups growing up! From left to right, we have Goliath, Buddy and Petey. Goliath was a rescue from the SPCA, guessed to be some kind of pit bull/pointer ish kind of mix, Buddy was a miniature schnauzer and Petey was an English bulldog.

Buddy came to our family first. I was in kindergarten at the time. I was sitting at my kitchen table one morning eating breakfast before school, frosted cheerios actually, when my dad walked in holding something. My sister was next to me and neither of us saw anything because he was so small he blended in with my dad’s sweatshirt. My dad bent down and put Buddy down and we went crazy. He was such a great puppy. I remember dog trainers coming to our house and being so interested in what they did and said. Buddy learned the basics but nothing over the top. He lived as an only dog in the family for about 7 years and change. That’s when Goliath came into the picture.

For Christmas in 2006, the top of my wish list was another dog. I obsessively researched online during computers class and wrote a persuasive essay to my dad begging him to let me get a dog. I did my research on pet insurances, on grooming fees and I knew this time I wanted to adopt a dog from a shelter. I don’t remember what made me want that, honestly I think it was because it was a much cheaper option than going to a breeder. My parents said no but my dad told me we could gather some items around the house to donate to the shelter instead. We brought some blankets and towels to the shelter and when we arrived, we were told that the building was under renovation so they were not accepting donations at the time. We put the stuff back in my dad’s car and he told me we could just walk through to look around. Famous last words: I’m “just looking around” at an animal shelter. I’ve lost 0-2 on that one so far. My dad and I ran into a woman and her mother going around giving treats to all of the dogs. The woman told us that her mother had recently lost her dog but was too old to adopt another one so every weekend they go give the dogs treats together instead. She gave me a treat and told me to give it to whoever I wanted to. We walked by Goliath’s room and something about him caught our eye. He was lying in the corner in his owner urine, clearly horrified. We learned later that he had been rescued with his mother (who had already been adopted); he was being used as a bait dog in a fighting ring. He was estimated to be about 2 years old at adoption but I think he was closer to 4 or 5. I tossed the treat in and he barely even moved for it; we learned later how uncharacteristic it was for him to ignore a treat. A volunteer came to tell us more about him and take him out for us to meet him. I remember he sat right in front of me for a picture. I sent it to my mom because my dad and I were already sold. She was so against getting another dog at the time. My dad put in an application anyway. They told us he was scheduled to be neutered on Sunday so depending how he’s healing he could go home Tuesday or Wednesday. He healed wonderfully and my dad convinced them to let him adopt him Monday. He went to adopt him while I was at school so I was totally surprised when I got home and saw him on our front lawn. My mom (and sisters) fell in love real quick. Goliath was absolutely amazing. When we first brought him home, he had some fear aggression. He guarded his food, barked loudly at people walking by and was leash reactive towards neighbors. He was territorial of our home and was notorious for stealing food off the counters. We took him to training group classes at PetSmart. We hired local in-home private dog trainers. With a whole bunch of TLC, time and patience he evolved into the biggest couch potato who just wanted to run around or snuggle with you. Eventually he let me take away his food mid-meal and just sit there patiently for me to give it back. He got better on leash and accepting people into our home. He was strong as hell. He was so forgiving of what had been done to him in his past and showed such gratitude to live in a home with a loving family. One time, he got out of our backyard. We knew because he was sitting on the front stoop at the door looking as if he was thinking, “I lived life as a stray, I didn’t like it, let me back in!!” He and Buddy got along relatively well...only a few minor “disagreements.”

In June of 2008, my close friend’s family’s bulldog, Daisy had a litter of adorably mushy puppies. She invited me over and I got to meet all of the wrinkle faces. When my mom picked me up, I invited her in to meet the puppies and she was head over heals in love from the start. We adopted Petey in August. He was your typical English bulldog. He was grumpy and sassy. He was not a fan of Buddy but we were the kind of family who decided that once an animal comes home, they don’t leave. We had gates up around our house to keep everyone happy. Goliath could be with Petey. Goliath could be with Buddy. Buddy could not be with Petey.  Petey could not be with any dog other than Goliath. They were best buds. Petey hated sharing his space with other dogs; he got very nervous when he felt his space was being invaded and he would pounce on other dogs to take his frustration out. He and Goliath slept in my parents’ bed together side by side; Petey didn’t care about sharing his space with Goliath.

These three dogs collectively brought out my love and passion for dogs. I love how kind they are, how forgiving they are and how much they can teach us. My long-term goal here is to be able to do some kind of specialty training like for service dogs or behavioral modification. I want to help dogs. I want to help make shelter dogs more adoptable. I want to make a difference in as many dogs’ lives as I can.

[peach-punch-satan]

If anyone wants to read the short story I mentioned in my one reblog here it is! I'm putting it under a read more (which I hope works as I am on mobile)