#anyway im reading leap of faith and loving it so far and it’s been a while since we’ve checked in on the marvel characters

[tisajest]

Okay so Peter in Gotham fics are neat and all

But what about Dick in NYC fics?

Dick somehow dimension travels to a Marvel universe and needs to figure out how to get back home

He encounters the Avengers and Spider-Man and they help him out

Some way or another, he or Peter connect Richard Parker to him and it’s suddenly “oh hey this is a superhero alternate version of my father”

I just think it’d be fun

[juyeoniemyhoney]

make you feel my love

Losing means nothing to Ishikawa when he has you.

pairing: ishikawa yuki x reader

genre: fluff, established relationship

warnings: i don’t think there’s any!

word count: 2074 words

A/N: i honestly dont know who wants to read this but im just gonna post it anyways HAHA so here all you ishikawa simps pls enjoy<3

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It all happens at once.

The noise— screams of all pitches and encouragements of all sorts, forming a raucous cacophony in the large gymnasium— halts almost immediately; like a vacuum has sucked it all up and the only thing that is left is an eerie stillness as everyone waits in antsy anticipation for the player to serve.

And then he is running up, throwing the ball great lengths into the air and jumping to meet it halfway, hitting the ball with such force and determination you can almost feel the impact yourself. The ball hurtles through the air and crosses the net with such speed you almost don't see it.

But the Japanese team does. Their libero, Yamamoto, crosses the court in a flash and bumps the ball up so high up it gives his teammates half a second to breathe before they are rushing to connect it, the setter, Sekita, tossing the ball higher in the air for Ishikawa to hit it.

The tall Brazilians loom over him like a curse, like bad karma, as determined as the Japanese are, but not nearly as desperate. Ishikawa does not mind them and he bravely hits the ball with as much strength as his worn out body allows him, sending every last bit of energy into this spike, hoping, praying, practically begging for it to work, for the ball to hit the other side of the court with such violence that the Brazilians would not be able to even react before it hits the floor.

The next thing you know, the ball hits the hands of the Brazilians and is spindling down towards the floor at breakneck speed. Yamamoto, Sekita and Ishikawa (when he lands), all throw themselves to the floor in a desperate bid to save it, to not let it touch the floor, to not let all their hard work be washed down into a drain. But to no avail.

The ball hits the floor with a resounding thud. The whistle blows and all at once, the Brazilian supporters leap from their seats and yell and scream and shout with unadulterated joy. Because they have won! They have won the game! And the Japanese have lost. The Japanese team and their supporters are quiet in the wake of their loss. You do not move, almost as if if you did, the bleachers would crack open, the earth beneath the gymnasium would cave in and you would be falling to the floor, through the soil and to the core of the earth.

The three men lift themselves up from the floor with the weight of defeat on their shoulders and their teammates pat their backs silently, looking solemn but trying to be as encouraging as possible. The team gathers at the end line of the court and another whistle blows, signalling both teams to bow. When Ishikawa's eyes hit the floor, so do the tears.

He cries in silent agony, somehow feeling like it is all his fault. He is the captain, he should have led them better than this. He is the ace, he should have been able to hit pass those blocks. He knew hitting hard was risky, he should have been more careful. He should have moved faster, reacted faster, gotten to the ball faster. He should have been sharper, more alert, better. He should have been better.

His teammates shed a few tears too, but not quite nearly as much as Ishikawa. It's unrelenting— his tears. It doesn't want to stop, even when Ishikawa roughly wipes at his eyes in frustration, desperately wanting the raw showing of emotion to stop. Everyone can see him cry in this moment and he hates it.

When Ishikawa and his team begin to move off the court, is when you break from your stunned daze. Quite frankly, you were shocked speechless. You knew Brazil was a tough opponent but your faith in your boys would always trump any form of doubt. You knew they could do it. You knew they would be able to do it. Until they didn't.

You do not see the tears from quite so far away, but when you do, you are ripping yourself from your seat with such great speed, the people around you jump in surprise. You do not care, you do not even really notice before you are sprinting down the stairs, leaping from each flight, ignoring the desperate calls of your best friend and the shocked expressions directed at you as you race to the exit of the court.

"Ishikawa Yuki!" you yell just in case you don't catch them in time. You know you could just call him or meet him at his house but you came as a surprise, and though you'd wish you could surprise him after his victory, you think that surprising him and being able to comfort him in his loss will mean just as much.

At the sound of your voice, his head whips around, eyes wide in shock as he desperately searches the people for your face, eyes glassy with unshed tears and vision slightly blurry. You jump off the rest of the stairs, running to him with flailing arms. And when Ishikawa sees you, you swear you see his lips pout, eyes glossing over as tears run down his face.

You grin and run to him and he drops everything, his water bottle, his towel, his jacket, everything, so that he can hold his arms open for you to run into and give him a big hug. And you do exactly that. You run straight into his arms, wrapping your arms around his torso and shoving your face into his chest, not caring at all that he is drenched in sweat (and possibly tears), not caring at all that almost the whole gymnasium full of people can see the two of you have such an intimate moment, not caring at all because Ishikawa Yuki, the love of your life, is in tears and you have to do everything in your power to stop that.

Ishikawa's arms wrap around you too, holding you so tight and dear to him, you swear the both of you stop breathing. And with you in his arms, he finally crumbles to the floor, tears spilling from his eyes and sobs escaping his throat in ugly, high-pitched hiccups. But he doesn't care, you don't care, he's safe as long as you're here.

"When did you get here? I thought you were only going to touchdown tomorrow," he whispers in between sobs, his shaking, swollen hand coming up to your hair and entangling his fingers with the strands messily. You pull away slightly and pull Ishikawa down so that your chin rests on his shoulder and he can bury his face into your neck, your hand coming up to his sweaty hair to run your fingers through the corse, tangled strands as Ishikawa continues to cry in your arms. This position is so incredibly uncomfortable. After all, Ishikawa is insanely tall and the top of your head doesn't even really reach his neck, and you're sure Ishikawa's back is going to hurt a little later but he doesn't seem to mind at all at the position change, indulging in you as he shoves his face into the crook of your neck, hot breaths that tickle your skin, coming out in pants as he struggles to control his sobs.

"I wanted to surprise you," you say with a fond smile, the hand that was idle on his back coming up to send a wave to his teammates when your eyes meet, even sending one to his coach, who just smiles bitterly at you. His teammates send you rueful smiles and thumbs-ups of approval before they make their way back to the locker rooms, leaving you and Ishikawa to continue embracing at the exit of the court.

Ishikawa lets out a tearful laugh, saying, "Well, I'm surprised alright. I was just thinking about you when you called my name. I almost thought I was seeing things.".

You laugh but do not reply, allowing a comfortable silence to take over as Ishikawa lets all his emotions out in the form of hot, regretful tears. Your hand continues to soothe him with pats and strokes to his back and your hand remains in his hair. Ishikawa's large hands fist your shirt at your waist as his tears and sweat seep into your shirt. You don't mind. Of course, if this were anyone else you would. But this is Ishikawa Yuki, and you love him more than anything else in this world.

"You played so well," you whisper after a while of silence. You can feel Ishikawa wanting to pull away from you but you do not allow him, knowing full well that he wants to pull away to argue with you, to debunk your words with his incessant humility, so you do not allow him. You do not allow him to deny himself the praise he very much deserves because he's worked hard for this, no matter the outcome, he and his teammates have worked his ass off for this, and the least you can do is praise him.

"Yuki, you played very well. Don't try and deny it," you say with a firm voice, hand on his head keeping his chin to your shoulder. At this, he finally laughs and you loosen your grip, allowing him to pull out of your embrace just enough for him to see your face.

His cheeks are tear-stained and his eyes are beginning to puff up with all his crying, red beginning to bloom at the corner of his eyes, slowly taking over the white. His smile is nothing short of breathtaking, swollen eyes and red lips curled up brilliantly, smile lines and the corners of his eyes creasing sweetly. You can't help but grin back when you see his smile, nose souring with endearment.

"You know me so well," he comments, fingers coming up to tuck strands of your hair behind your ear, fingers trailing down your jaw to your chin, tilting your face up just a little bit more. His fingers guide your head just slightly forward before he is meeting you halfway in a sweet kiss, grinning immediately after your lips meet his.

Ishikawa's eyes trace over your every feature, observing, remembering, ingraining; tracing over the curve of your eyes, the slope of your nose, the perk of your lips, the peak of your eyebrows, and the line of your jaw, fingers ghosting over each feature along with his eyes, all the while maintaining the smile on his lips.

Then, he is giving your forehead a sweet kiss before pulling out of your embrace fully, turning around to pick up the things he had dropped when you came running into his arms. He brushes off his jacket and drapes it across your shoulders, holding open the jacket for you to slip your arms into the sleeves, to which you do, before he is hooking the zip and zipping it all the way up to your chin.

In his mind, he laughs at the way you are dwarfed by his jacket. Your hands can barely be seen, only the tips of your fingers peeking out from the sleeves, and the jacket, where it usually ends at his hip, ends almost at your knees. Unconsciously, he smiles and has to physically restrain himself from pinching your cheeks.

After he zips up his jacket, he bends down to pick up his towel, draping it over his shoulder before he is bending down once again to pick up his water bottle, having set them down to help you put on his jacket. Then, without a word but with the largest, goofiest grin, he takes your hand in his and leads you out of the court and to the locker rooms in a comfortable silence, fingers intertwined with yours.

For a second there, he almost forgets that they lost the game and are not able to proceed to the quarter-finals. For a second there, he almost completely forgets about his regrets and anger and frustration. And it's all because of you. And of course, he is eternally grateful to you. After all, what on earth would he do without you? He would still be crying his ass off, that's what, though he would never admit it out loud. And it is because of this reason— though he would do it without a reason at all— that he kisses you a little longer, hugs you a little tighter, loves you a little more.

[traincat]

I know that everyone is pretty sure that the FF movie will mean that Johnny will now never be officialy let out of the closet but personally I feel like since the FF are so unpopular and ppl have been bugging Marvel and Disney for an actual canon & 'important' gay character that they may just? Use him? I'm absolutely losing it and its not going to happen (and if it does, good god, its going to be handled so badly) but imagine. Tho as long as they dont bring lyja in im ill count the movie as Ok

So I am going to go Full Conspiracy Theorist out here for a minute because when I and a couple others I personally know have been kind of saying “Johnny’s never coming out now” it refers to a very specific recent incident that we were kind of side eyeing for Possible Movie Interference even before this announcement. Saying up front that I don’t know that this is true, and even if Someone Did Change The Script it’s just as likely to be comic editorial pulling the plug than Kevin Feige coming down from on high to stuff Johnny back in the closet like he’s the Plant Man and it’s the ‘60s:

And then they never let him out of there again. (Strange Tales #121)

So here’s the deal: we know that there are several creators involved with Marvel who hold the belief that Johnny Storm is not the bastion of heterosexuality he’s very often been pushed as. Marjorie Liu (and most likely Daniel Way but we only have Marjorie Liu’s word on this last time I checked) intentionally wrote the relationship between him and Daken in Dark Wolverine as sexual. When I reviewed Marvels Snapshot: Fantastic Four for Women Write About Comics I received some very nice commentary from the creators and a retweet from Kurt Busiek, who is in charge of the Snapshot collection -- and I spend the majority of that review pretty openly talking about the subtext of Johnny’s sexuality and the history that has. So like, this is out there, it goes beyond fandom circles. People know, and you can tell, because a lot of the time multiple creators don’t spend decades making jokes about a character being gay if they don’t kind of think that character is gay. (I am looking at you, John Byrne.) But anyway, fast forward. It’s 2018 and the Fantastic Four are back on the shelves after their Film Rights Mandated Banishment (that Jonathan Hickman leaked as being a Real Thing and not another conspiracy theory). And while I have some significant problems with the 2018 run so far, I have to say, that first issue starts off strong, not in the least because it also featured the return of Wyatt Wingfoot, Johnny’s best friend and former roommate. Turned current roommate again, since apparently they were living together. They were also touching a lot.

Like a lot lot. Love a boyfriend leash. (Fantastic Four v6 #1) And like, look, longtime Johnny readers can tell you all about his long relationship with Wyatt Wingfoot and the subtext you can read into it, but a lot of casual readers noticed this too. People were talking about it. It was noticed. It was pretty obviously paralleled against Ben and Alicia, who were getting engaged at the same time.

Fast forward a couple of issues, all of which Wyatt sticks around for -- he was pretty obviously living with the Fantastic Four after their return for a couple of issues there -- to Ben’s bachelor party, where he and Johnny have this particular conversation:

“When you know -- and you’ll know -- take that leap. Don’t wait fer stronger shielding. Be brave, Johnny Storm.” (FF v6 #5) There’s a lot to unpack here in general, but the “be brave, Johnny Storm” sentiment continually sticks out to me, along with how ungendered this speech is -- not when you meet the right woman, blah blah blah. It’s not a big jump to imagine this as leading out to a coming out narrative, and that’s before we factor in this solicit for Fantastic Four #7:

“Plus a strange new development in the life of the Human Torch.” If you’ve read the issue, however, you know literally nothing of note happens to Johnny in it, let alone anything you could consider a new development, strange or not. It seems pretty clear, if you pull the clues, that there was originally some kind of plot involving Johnny -- and likely his romantic future -- in the original plans but then at some point that plot got pulled and likely replaced by the current Sky soulmate plot that has literally left Johnny shackled by heterosexuality. So it’s clear that at some point in early 2019 something shifted and this Johnny plot got pulled, for whatever reason. And I have no proof beyond all this circumstantial evidence that they were lining up anything that was actually going to concretely within the actual Fantastic Four book address his sexuality, but I think given the circumstantial evidence it is a valid theory. I don’t know if I specifically believe that the reasoning behind whatever this plot getting pulled was MCU interference, but it’s likely that the Fantastic Four project was seriously in development by that point to be able to announce it now, and if, by whatever chance, my “Johnny was going to come out” theory was true, we also know that the MCU has a serious problem with actually handling queer representation within their universe -- see Tessa Thompson’s bisexual Valkyrie scene getting cut, the entire Gay Joe Russo incident. They’re, what, 20+ movies in now and there are no actual queer main characters, right? I know Eternals is apparently changing that, but Eternals is not out yet, and also has significantly less name recognition than Fantastic Four. It’s not a great record, and while I would like to think that maybe that could change either with the Fantastic Four or by the time a Fantastic Four movie rolls out, I just don’t have that kind of faith. But if I’m wrong I’ll totally donate double the cost of the ticket and large popcorn to a charity that actually deserves it.

So there’s my conspiracy theory! Some people do this with celebrities, I do it with Johnny Storm. It’s probably equally unrewarding either way.

[macneiceisms]

Writer Tag Game

I was tagged by @ectogeo-rebubbles and am responding to a general tag by @cemetrygatess. If anyone wants to do this, please do and tag me so I can see it!

How many works do you have on AO3?

11

What's your total AO3 word count?

233,594 (holy shit!)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Fair Gendry & Ser Arya the Gallant (arya/gendry, a song of ice and fire)

running like water (will/hannibal + murder family, hannibal)

No Kingdom for a Blacksmith (arya/gendry, a song of ice and fire)

Princess in a Red Cape (arya/gendry, a song of ice and fire)

Caught a Long Wind (arya/gendry, a song of ice and fire)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! these days I try to respond to all of my comments. I got my current beta for running like water via comments and she's absolutely fantastic and I've made a lot of lasting fandom friends through responding to comments. I started commenting on fics as I was getting into deep space nine fics, and then when I wrote correspondence, I started replying to comments and it totally changed how I felt about my fic and how I felt about writing and sharing my work.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

So I haven't actually uhhhh....finished any of the multichaptered fics I've written (lol). I try not to have angsty? endings. that's not really how I want to resolve things. At most I'd say my endings are bittersweet, but more often a happy ending even though I hate that idea. I think I strive for a resolution but anticipation of the future.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Probably caught a long wind. That one was just a family-oriented one shot I wrote and so it's some of the more saccharine stuff I've written.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

I prefer AUs if need be but, no, I don't write crossovers.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not that I can recall, though occasionally I get weird comments that make me wonder why people are reading it. I had someone once say they hope the main characters of my fic don't get together, despite that relationship being....the central aspect of the fic...

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. I think I would describe my approach as making it as horny as possible (this is distinct from as dirty/explicit as possible). There's also far too much porn without there being any masturbation and it's just not realistic lol. the one thing I really strive for is that the sex isn't cookie-cutter instruction manual sex that could be recycled somewhere else but feels integrated into the story and is an extension of the story. and im always pushing myself to write it better. I have a few fics I always revisit to figure out how they do such a good job.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I had someone contact me for a Russian translation of rlw which I would actually love to try and read myself as someone who is a native speaker but is terrible at reading and writing it.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Fiona and I are co-writing a post-fall Hannibal fic which I'm super excited about and it's taking all my energy to not say anything about it because I adore it.

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I've been through a lot of fandoms but my first real ship was draco/ginny from (oh god) more than a decade ago and I'll always have a place in my heart for it.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

im not about to curse myself like that because I hope that I'll be able to come back to my stagnant WIPs as a stronger writing and be able to solve whatever clusterfucks I got myself into.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I do a good job with sense of place; I've always liked describing settings but I've been pushing myself to really make places as alive as the characters.

What are your writing weaknesses?

finishing a fic lmao. but actually plot resolution is incredibly hard and it's the one thing that I haven't had much practice with.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think its great when used sparingly and in interesting ways. I think it comes up a lot in Star Trek fic where people have invented languages and it makes for some really good writing. I do think leaving readers in the dark does them a disservice so that's something I keep in mind if I use it.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I wrote stories about Black Beauty in a notepad program on this tiny laptop my dad got me when I was like, ten or eleven. My first published fic was a Danny Phantom fic when I was in middle school (lol)

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Oh man. I've had such a knockout experience with running like water. I remember pitching the first two chapters to ironlotus back in december as I was just starting to be active in the hannibal fandom and trying to find a place there. I'd really enjoyed fics with Abigail as a central character but it turned out to be really rare to find, and particularly rare to find fics about her relationship with will as a father figure and all the complexities therein. I had been writing a bit of another story to feel out their relationship and then I started running like water. I didn't have any expectations of what it would be when I started and I took sort of a leap of faith and just posted what I had. The feedback I received through comments really shaped what this fic turned into. I started to hit a stride with writing and I just ended up writing so much. I also had a really great time talking to my girlfriend about working out the overarching plot so even though I was letting it take me where it wanted to go, I had a direction to go in and everything I've been writing has been towards that end goal. having an actual ending has really changed the game lmao. who knew. anyways it's been a blast. I'm happy with what I've written. I feel like I've done good work and I'm proud of it and I'm proud of what it means to everyone who tells me it resonated with them. running up is despite the warning signs because that's another fic that grabbed by my the muse and wouldn't let go.

[madeintimeland]

im oversharing this got long sorry. just reminscing on shit ive thought about a million times over again

theres so much art i want to create and so little motivation. i should start smoking weed again bc every time im high i get my best ideas or at least like, it takes away the layer of film over my brain that stops me from being able to come up with creative ideas, but also im scared its going to send me into mental hell again. like i need to be in a perfect state for it lest i fear im going to invoke my months long existential crisis again and i Cannot be doing that shit rn. but also i wonder if its going to be worth it anyways if i can create something to leave on this earth again. like ive been so bad at creativity lately like i want to draw and produce things and im bubbling over with energy and i feel the ideas fermenting in the deep recesses of my brain like theyre nestled into the grooves and folds but i cant access them yet. and i know i can if im stoned. i might turn into a hermit hunched over my tablet all hours of the day just making shit tbh. i absorb so much of the things around me and i know if i try to make something now its going to basically be direct copies of the things i saw but if im high im sure i can actually create something new and beautiful. im scared of being intoxicated again but i was scared to drink again too and i got drunk and proceeded to love it and want to drink every single day because surprise surprise i have alcoholism coded into my dna and consequentially have an addictive personality in general. which is why i felt like my life was useless without weed. all up until i was finally able to get my hands on a stash that would let me smoke whenever i want versus when i would get a small amount every couple of months and completely and utterly fail at ratioing it out and binge it all and then have ridiculously introspective trips where id start to go a little crazy at the end (i have a distinct memory of looking at a meme that had a woman on it and thinking ‘jesus christ... what the fuck is that’ and then spiraled into thinking about how life is pointless but i didnt have enough weed to continue with that train of thought and if i did i may have had my crisis a lot earlier, it was just inevitable) i just felt like being high was the only time i could actually get in touch with my inner self again. like i used to before the thick clouds of depression and psychosis settled in. but then i finally was able to get high for longer than short bursts of time and it all came to a head where my brain broke and i have existential terror now that i feel im going to not be able to deal with confronting again. but every time i say that it never ends up staying permanently, it comes in waves, it all comes in waves. back and forth. i feel beauty in life and then i feel fear. i feel like its all worth it and then i cant stop thinking about the inevitable heat death of the universe and the pointlessness of it all. and then i get a hug or listen to a really good song and i feel like its worth it again. i wonder if this is just a period in my life im not a total stoner or if its actually permanent. anyways point is i want to make so much stuff that my hands ache and my brain rots when i think about how many things inspire me. thats why my aesthetic tag is #inspiration, its been like that for many years now, its stuff that inspires me. but at what point am i going to turn that inspiration into reality? im bad at initiative. my initiative is going to be when i pick up the pot again because im too lethargic and procrastinatey to create the things i want any other time. but when will that be? i cant see a therapist or anything rn and working it out on my own has been mildly successful, not bad, im not spending every single day in terror like i was at this point last year. it started all going away around august after starting in march. march 30th in fact. from then on its been a constant battle with dissociation. funny because just earlier in march was some of the best experiences of my life. i think if lockdown never happened this never would have happened either but at the same time im left wondering how anybody can go through their life without wondering about the meaning of it all and coming out the other side with purpose and resolve. mine was to enjoy myself and find as much beauty and love in life as i can before i die and enhance the lives of the people around me while i can because i feel too small to do anything on a grander scale. and im fine with that, for the most part, but i still get attacked by these waves of thought where i wonder what the purpose of reality is . i always have to smack myself and remind myself no dumbass you already went over this a million times, just enjoy yousrelf while youre here. but when im high its a million times worse cuz the only time i can get my mind off it is when im replacing it with horny thoughts and thats not the only thing i wanna do when im high ofc i want to experience and create and listen to music. but i mean i havent smoked since june. i think the 15th ? i could go back and read my journals to tell exactly when it was but yeah its been almost a year now and i feel like i might have it in me again. i used to love getting high and working on shit so much. some of my best works and most  creative projects and honestly just most enjoyable periods of my life were when i was high. going back to what i was saying about early march 2020 being the best time of my life, idk what it was about me but i was just having a grand old time experiencing absolute beauty playing ark with my friends, feeling so creative and developing new ideas and experiences, and using the freedom and motivation i felt ingame to also want to explore the world irl. i seriously was close to actually finally reading my survival manual and start camping and shit and i wanted to visit my relatives in their hella secluded farmhouse in the middle of fuck nowhere kansas, cuz i did visit there during that time period and i loved it to death, i felt so free. two different relatives actually and they both had that same aesthetic about them. of course they were horribly racist but i mean, thats rural kansas for you. i just wanted to camp in their woods. its funny because that month was simultaneously the best and worst of my life. all because of weed! if i never started smoking or rather never found a reliable source at that point in my life i wonder how i wouldve turned out? id like to chalk this up to fate that im like this, maybe its for the best, maybe smoking again wont help me but maybe it will. i have a way to ease myself back into it i just need that leap of faith and  bravery like i felt when i was drinking again. its funny because i used to be such a fucking druggie and i wanted to get high all the time and then after my existential crisis that all just. stopped. i feell ike everyone i know is sick of me talking about it but it really fundamentally changed me on the inside even if it doesnt seem like it much on the outside so i feel its right of me to talk about it sometimes. it makes me feel better at least. like this is jsut a thing t hat happened, not a fated break from the universe i cant come back from yknow? i dunno. ive rambled on way too fucking long and idk if anyones gonna read this. tldr i want to draw and create so many things and i have too many ideas to deal with but i only feel ill be able to unlock my creativity and motivation if im high but due to bad past experiences im terrified to get high again. i mean ive done and made some pretty cool stuff since then but the motivation and ideas are much fewer and far between compared to the absolute deluge i get when im stoned , whether any of my ideas are actually any good or if they were just high ramblings is up to debate but i think it gave me a really good way of looking at things and i made some pretty cool stuff and i miss it a lot but i dont know if going back to it is going to be a mistake or not and im not brave enough to find out if itll hurt me again or if im ready. yyyyaaaayyyyy hahahaha ✌

[tarotwithme]

Hello! I’m Finny, and my placements are cap sun/moon, and leo rising ! I wanted to ask two questions, the first being a general reading on myself. The second is a general reading on my love life ! Im sorta interested in a boy who works at a cafe currently ! I’m nervous abt it since I get the feeling it might not pan out the way I think if I confess aha. Anyway, thank you !!

Hi! Thank you for your ask! I hope it resonates and helps!

General Reading:

Cards that came out:

Accelerated Motion

Intuition

Love Begins

Heartache and Loss

Material Harvest

Firstly, I feel like things may have been quite slow for you lately, perhaps you have been feeling kind of stagnant. However, this is all about to change. I see that whatever you have been manifesting or working towards, it is all about to come in fast. You are quickly heading towards your goals and what it is you desire. Things may start to move fast, and it may seem a lot at first, however it is important that you ground yourself and trust the process. Look inside and let your inner guidance guide you to where you are meant to be. Trust yourself, because completion and endings to delays are fast approaching.

You may have experienced some type of pain or loss in the past, or recently, which you are still trying to heal from. You are now in the right place to move on from this, shed the past and focus on the positive future which you are working towards. You cannot have completion without healing first.

I clarified ‘Love Begins’ with ‘Suffering in Silence’ and ‘Emotional Withdrawal’, you have gotten through the worst of the pain, you can now see the light at the end and are being asked to focus on the last bit of healing and allowing yourself to go with the flow. Put your trust in the universe, that the positivity you have given out, is being poured right back into your life. Once past issues are resolved, your heart is then open and ready to receive. I see you coming into balance in your life.

I clarified ‘Material Harvest’ with ‘Patience’ and ‘Authority’, you have been so patient when working towards your goals and desires. You are almost at the end; you are just being asked to wait a little longer. I feel like you need to tap into your masculine energy, tap into your inner wisdom, strength/power and leadership. Once you embody these qualities I feel like you will be able to reach this completion and find balance within your life. If you have been working towards some kind of financial or material gain (could be in your job/career or with a project), I see this coming to you very soon.

General Love Reading:

Cards that came out:

Disruption

Firm Foundation (Clarified with ‘Fulfilment of Wishes’)

Spiritual Strength (Clarified with ‘Balance’, ‘Partnerships and Alliances’ and ‘Sacral Chakra’

Universe

So, as I spoke about before, you have recently been through some type of pain, this could have been to do with your love life. I do see you coming out of this soon, and again as mentioned before, I see you starting to fully move on and heal from the past.

Once you have done this, I see you forming this strong foundation within your love life, you will be at a place where you know your wishes can come true. I see you almost turning over a new leaf and realising that now is the time where whatever you want in your love life can easily be achieved.

I see you coming into your own power, and really discovering your inner strength and wisdom. I see you using this to hold yourself up and help yourself gain this stability in your love life. By doing this, you will gain balance in your life and feel almost complete and strong within yourself. I see you doing a lot of self-love and focusing on helping yourself get to a place where you feel you can truly feel comfortable and begin to express yourself. Your Sacral Chakra is all about your desires, emotions and sexuality. By finding balance in your love life, I see you will begin to feel able to express your desires and emotions, not only towards yourself but others as well.

Finally, again, I see completion. Endings of a difficult period and the fulfilment of your desires and wishes. You will finally be able to see how far you’ve come and your love for yourself, everything you want will be within reach.

I feel like you may have more options in your love life than you know, perhaps someone or multiple people have their eye on you. I pulled the card’ New Beginnings’, therefore I do feel like you need to take a risk! Look at the world through a fresh pair of eyes and try to experience things as if you have never experienced them before, take a leap of faith. It may lead to an exciting new beginning and the start of a new journey…

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[standardlovers]

59 & 94 & 117 bc why not <3

hello my friend, what are you doing around these parts? 💘💘

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

Far too long ago, I can't even remember the actual time it happened like I have not details but I get to go on another one later this month to visit the uni I may go to so,, fun!

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

all hours access to museums

a better birthday present for our dear pumpkin king cause i wanna get something good and idk if what I've got already is enough,,

happiness, contentment and clarity for my loved ones and myself

can I get uhhhhh, the love of my life?

117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.

i have been informed the question was supposed to be 'how are you?' but given that's not a question I want to answer, I'm gonna pretend they asked

"What are your thoughts on emotion in the music of the Disney movie Tangled?"

well, my darling take a seat BECAUSE when I said that I have a few moments in mind! And it's gonna be messy cause the songs are split into sections according to how I think of them and are not in an understandable order at all!

Tangled's Soundtrack was created by Alan Menken and Glenn Slater, both of whom have written on various other works I love, you may known Slater from School Of Rock The Musical or Menken from other Disney works such as Beauty and The Beast or The Little Mermaid!

The song When Will My Life Begin has 2 reprises used to show so much emotion in Rapunzel in our short time of knowing her at the start of the movie.

The first time we hear this tune, Rapunzel is singing about her regular life pattern and things she does to occupy herself in captivity, even though she is not yet aware she is held captive. The tone of the song is very upbeat and happy but her need for change shows! When the line "stuck in the same place I've always been" comes, her tone changes to what I perceive as a slight desperation, before going back to a slightly happy tune but still ending with the "When Will My Life Begin", she is very aware that her life is not really Started and that she has a lot left she wants to do and it's made clear in the soft, sad line 'now that im older, mother might just let me go' that she Knows her mother is the cause of this

I have no serious analysis of this until later but know this is relevant!

The second reprise comes after her mother has told her she is Not to leave the tower, not even for her birthday. It's a lot sadder than the first, with a soft hopeless tone as she accepts what her mother had said, but it touches a bit more on the relationship between the pair that what's originally heard, and may others have read into this too! The entire lyrics are about Rapunzel agreeing with what her mother has said because she has been conditioned to believe it, never asking for more than 'mothers love' - not even asking for freedom , not even asking for Privacy ( "yes I have everything, except I guess a door..") and even subtly highlights the guilt Rapunzel is feeling at the moment in the lyric "I've got so many things I Should be thankful for" and then even ultimately her giving up her wants for these things to agree with her mother "perhaps it's better that I... Stay in. But when will my life begin?"

There's a pause between Reprise 2 and Reprise 3 for Mother Knows Best (also known as lies, guilt tripping and degradation feat. catchy tunes which is a whole other level of emotion used that I'll talk about in the Mother Knows Best section after this part is over) but Reprise 3 is started with hesitance but mainly covers the relief and joy Rapunzel feels at the sense of freedom she gets from going Outside for the first time, she mirrors the first reprise by listing things she can do but it's no longer about her captivity or distracting herself because now she talks about all the possible things she gets to do now that she is outside of the tower and Mandy Moore conveys that joy so so well, you can hear every moment of it in her voice as she excitedly talks about "running and racing and dancing and chasing and leaping and bounding, hair flying, heart pounding and splashing and reeling and finally feeling that's when my life be-gins!"

Now let's circle back to Mother Knows Best & then skip forward to Mother Knows Best Reprise because The Feeling Of These Songs Are So Fucking Strong It Physically Hurts To Listen To Sometimes

The Mother Knows Best songs cover the manipulative and controlling relationship between Mother Gothel and Rapunzel! The first song, Mother Gothel is informing that not only is Rapunzel not allowed to go outside but... She doesn't really want to anyway, she lies and deceives Rapunzel into thinking of life outside of the tower as a horrible threatening world rather than talking about any of the positives about the world outside for her own selfish reasons, and she also spends a decent amount of this song degrading Rapunzel and destroying her faith and confidence in herself to nurture a toxic codependency for Rapunzel, which also involves further guilt tripping by mentioning all Gothel has done to raise Rapunzel, making Rapunzel feel like she owes her something. Mother Gothel is very careful with her words and tone to ensure Rapunzel believes this is for Her, to keep her Safe and it works terribly well! Because Rapunzel accepts that she shouldn't go until she meets Flynn, which was a turning point Mother Gothel never could have predicted, Flynn, or any outside stranger, was not accounted for in Gothel's carefully planned manipulation and so Rapunzel was able to leave due to the fact she realised that she Could now.

And now we skip forward to Mother Knows Best (Reprise) which is probably Worse! This is what I see as the truly soul destroying moment as well as the scene around it, Gothel confronts Rapunzel on her leaving and Rapunzel is strong in the relationship she's developed with Flynn, and Gothel forces her to doubt that, twists their relationship for her own gain and tries to destroy Rapunzel's self confidence as well as her trust in Flynn to make her return to being codependent on her. Despite the overall disgusting vibes of the song, Rapunzel powers through and refuses to let her tear her down, which doesn't end well but it does show a serious development in Rapunzel's character and confidence, Rapunzel is has a very clear sense of self that would be harder to waver than most other things, so Gothel adapts her tactics to change how she hurts Rapunzel.

And now this is so long so instead of babbling so much more I will say: Kingdom Dance is the song I want played at my wedding!

[benedict-lover]

The lying detective ideas

Again I'm mainly doing this to organize my thoughts but anyone is welcome to comment or edit. First off something is still really off. I still think that tst was unreliable narrating. I also still think Mary is not dead. I don't necessarily think she was holding john hostage like I did before but I don't think she's dead. I think some weird shit went down at the aquarium and I was hoping to find out in tld but I guess we will (hopefully) find out in tfp. I think the Mary we saw today was obviously part of johns imagination, which is really important. It shows that he's actually really smart. A lot smarter than most people give him credit for. But it also showed him being able to live on from Mary. After the hug he doesn't see her anymore, he's able to move on now ready to be ok with his feelings and be with Sherlock. Next I think there's divinely something going on with the TD12 drug. Maybe john and Sherlock and others are having it given to them without their knowledge, which I don't think is a far leap given thob. Maybe some of the plot could've been altares by this memory drug but honestly I'm not really sure what is and isn't real. Then the part when Sherlock was saying he didn't want to die. That was super important. That to me at least showed that he realized he needs to start treating himself better. He needs to value his life. He needs to wake up and realize people love him and care about him. This realization was hinted at through the whole episode one major example being the night with 'faith'. Then the hug. That was the best thing I have ever witnessed. That was all I ever wanted from this show if I couldn't get a kiss but I know we're going to get the kiss. I have a feeling that was real. That was definitely real. They finally are talking they finally are ready to be together. Irene was only thrown in for Sherlock to say he doesn't respond showing he doesn't love her she was thrown in for john to yell at him and tell him to take his chance because he might loose it and then for Sherlock to not respond to her but take his chance with john and hold him. Then we're left with euros (is that how you spell it?)/the therapist/'faith'. I don't think she's Sherrinford. Im still not certain if sherrinford is a person or place though I did just read a compelling theory that it's the mental institute that she's Euros is staying at. The theory basically says that the person she was in a relationship with was helping her out by telling Mycroft she was secure when she really wasn't. To me that was a really cool idea! I'm not quite certain about it but It would be super cool if it happened. I don't know what her relation with moriarty is... if she's the real moriarty who hired James or if she's working for him...I kinda like the former. Obviously john isn't dead. I don't know what happened. Maybe Sherlock showed up and saved him. Maybe Mycroft. Maybe Mary? Maybe she doesn't actually pull the trigger? Maybe the gun wasn't loaded. I don't know but he's obviously alive. Anyway I'll end it like my last one johnlock will be cannon. We've got the longest week ahead of us we just need to believe. That sounds so cheesy but I don't really care. Something's fucky and johnlock is going to be cannon. When in doubt remember love conquers all and the hug! I'll probably be making edits as I read more theories just wanted to get something out there.