#anyway obviously the problem is me and my writing

[gooseraider]

Hi! 🫡 Idk if you're into angst. If so, could you write reader and Ellie who are having argument at night and reader decides to go on a walk to cool emotions down, but Ellie won't let her go alone so they go together still mad at each other and it ends fluffffffyy.

Love your posts! 💘

Ps. Sorry for my english lol

a/n: i listened to jeff buckley while writing this and i lowkey got carried away. anyways hope you enjoy!🪿

“it’s not a big deal, i don’t know why you’re making it a bigger deal than it needs to be.”

“it is a big deal ellie, you were literally flirting with another girl!”

you and ellie were out at the bar with a couple of friends earlier that night. everything was fine until a girl came up to ellie, she was obviously interested in ellie with the way she kept shooting flirty remakes her way. ellie didn’t seem to notice, if anything she was entertaining the girl. constantly playing into the flirty banter, not brushing her off when the girl would get extra touchy with ellie, she even leaned into the girl with a small smile on her face and that’s when something in you snapped.

the ride back to your shared home was silent, not the kind of silence where it was comfortable but the kind that made the air thick. ellie knew something was wrong, she asked you at the bar when she noticed you spaced out, no longer paying attention to the conversation you were having. you just brushed her off with a short “i’m fine.”

ellie reaches over putting a hand on your thigh, “you sure you’re okay?” asking one more time before you went inside.

you hum, getting out the car and shutting the door with a force the sends chills up ellie’s spine. walking inside she sees your frame already heading up the stairs.

you two get ready for bed in complete silence, the air is thick, ellie almost feels suffocated. she gets in the bed expecting you to follow suit as you normally would but instead you disappear downstairs. growing tired of whatever was happening she walks down the stairs spotting you in the kitchen. it’s dark, the only source of light coming from the microwave. you’re making tea, you don’t notice her as your back faces the stairs.

“you good? you didn’t come to bed.”

you ignore her, “look, i know you’re upset but you don’t get to take it out on me, especially when you won’t tell me what’s bothering you.”

her voice is soft, it always is.

“you.”

“what?”

“you, you’re why i’m upset.” you say, barley looking at her.

“what did i do?”

a dry laugh escaping your throat, “really ellie, you don’t know?”

“i don’t, and im sorry for whatever i did to upset you.” she says, rounding the counter and coming closer to you.

“ugh you’re so oblivious it’s actually laughable. the bar, that girl was flirting with you trying to get in your pants and you just let her.”

she laughs, “ohh, this is what it’s about, you’re jealous.”

“god ellie, i’m not jealous i’m mad, you let a girl flirt with you in front of me and you basically flirted back.”

“it wasn’t a big deal, it meant nothing.”

“she didn’t know that though, it’s like you have no respect for me or our relationship.”

“it’s not a big deal, i don’t know why you’re making it a bigger deal than it needs to be.”

your voice raising as your emotions heighten, “it is a big deal ellie, you were literally flirting with another girl! and it might not be a problem to you but it is to me and i don’t want to be with someone who has no respect for me or our relationship.”

“so you wanna break up?”

“that’s not what i’m saying but if you can’t see that what you did was wrong then maybe we should.”

you walk away from her crying, you grab your shoes heading towards the door.

“where are you going?”

“a walk, i need some air.”

“i’m coming with you.”

you sigh, “i don’t want you to come ellie, i need to be alone.”

“i get that but you’re not going on a walk in the middle of the night alone.”

you stay silent.

“we don’t have to talk, you don’t even have to walk near me.”

you two are outside, it’s cold and you’re suddenly regretting the lack of clothes you have on. the shorts and t-shirt you’re wearing are making this walk even more unbearable. noticing your discomfort ellie takes her sweatshirt of and hands it to you, you take it silently.

you continue to walk until the cold becomes to much, you guys head back. y’all are approaching your home when ellie stops you.

“im sorry.”

“what?”

“i’m sorry, i was wrong to flirt with that girl and im sorry that i didn’t take your feelings seriously. you deserve the upmost respect and i wasn’t able to give that to you and for that im sorry.”

“you really hurt me ellie.” your voice barley above a whisper.

”i know, you don’t have to forgive me right away but i want you to know that i love you so much and i would never want to hurt you. i will do everything in my power to make sure you never feel pain because of me. i love you so much and im going to keep loving you, today, tomorrow, and all the days after that.”

ellie stands there as you walk up to her, wrapping your arms around her and crying into her chest.

“i’m sorry for what i said about breaking up, i never want to lose you and that’s why it hurt me so bad because it reminded of how easily i could lose you.”

ellie pulls back, arms coming off you to wipe your tears, “i love you so much, you’re not going to lose me because unfortunately for you, you’re stuck with me forever.” she says smiling.

“i love you.”

she kisses you, it’s soft and says so many things that she can’t.

“i love you more.”

[sillydeimos]

in your eyes (or smth) how did Hank and Jeb get together, and stuff

aouh. in my mind this question has like ten different answers all depending on the day. i will attempt to be brief, (1/356) under a readmore just because im shy (kicks at the ground) (edit: oh god i started rambling)

obviously(to me anyway) it's a slowburn kind of romance, the worst but also best kind. it makes sense because i think these two have gone several years of one-sided despising, one sided not caring, forming into somewhat mutual obsession. my dark evil woke opinion is that jeb would absolutely come to the realization of liking hank (romantically) first and being so mad at himself for it, his hubris and complex mixing together into some concoction of... romantic feelings. he honestly struggles with it for a long time, not even sure if that's what he's feeling or if it's some variation of hate-fueled obsession just changing his brain chemistry and now he's overthinking things. basically jeb has a gay crisis and hank is standing to the side thinking about selling a car or some shit.

i've always thought that since jeb is always forward and confrontational, that maybe he wouldn't really have a problem with telling hank these feelings, as awkward as it would be. but the other part of me thinks that maybe jeb has this secretive nature weird impulse to hide things if he thinks he'll get hurt for it (prolly leftover paranoia from nexus)

honestly when i think about it more i feel like i don't really have a concrete like, 'when' it happened, it feels like one of those things that they sort of naturally slip into overtime, a weird desire to want to be around each other and... NOT kill each other and bicker (well, they still bicker but it's a lot less leading to stabbing each other. hey that's progress.)

i do like to entertain the thoughts of jeb dramatically confessing hank maybe while they're stabbing and killing each other or something and hank like just doesn't really know what to say to that. it sounds so mean but i feel like even in any context hank just doesn't know what to say to jebs feelings besides just "...okay." mute indifference. but not rejection!! it intrigues him more then anything, makes him ask questions like if he can pull out all the threads from jeb's brain he can figure out the shape of him in his mind.

kind of a very "i'm in love with you but i don't even like you." at least from jeb's side anyways. not to say that hank is wholly unemotional and harbors no feelings whatsoever... but i always get extra extra worried i'll write hank out of character and get a bad grade in hank writing.

[viktorarcanedeservesbetter]

The Viktor stays in Zaun point you mentioned got me thinking, Viktor is the only major Zaun character (except like Isha maybe? but she's a special case) we see who has an "average civilian background" if you get what i mean which might be contributing to people making him overly rough and mean. Like Vi was in prison for 6-7 years, Jinx literally had the top mob boss of Zaun as her adoptive father, Ekko was leading a resistance movement against said mob boss as a young adult. Obviously these characters still have their kind sides but they're under heavy circumstances even for Zaunites, which affects their personalities. So i can see how it's easy for many fans to kind of exaggerate how rough Viktor would be had he stayed in Zaun because the perspective we get of Zaunite characters is inherently skewed.

I agree!

But I’d also like to say that I often see the default for Viktor staying in Zaun (either being rejected from the Academy after being found out, or never going) and he ends up being this Chembaron?

Like-I don’t mind it or think it’s bad at all-AUs are there to explore everything! What’s the saying, don’t yuck my yum or whatever (please, someone tell me if that’s right lmao) but, from my perspective, he’d actually be something closer to a Benzo.

Aka, has a shop, but is not directly involved in leadership or conflict (obviously post bridge). He’s not an Ekko type-not because he doesn’t want peace-but he’d simply want to help people in his own way, and as many people as possible.

I think if he were to stay in Zaun he’d be more likely to open up some sort of clinic or mechanics shop, a trade-type payment system, something along those lines. Not doing it for free because that’s not sustainable, but still trying to help people while also indulging in inventing.

And I do think you’re very right in saying it’s partially due to the Zaunite characters we also see on screen, being more rough and kind of harder to break into their soft sides.

You also got me thinking about another thing that sometimes makesme nope out of fanfiction-something I myself (and even my favorite ao3 authors) are often guilty of, and that’s making the Zaunite characters mouthpieces for independence and freedom, when, besides Silco, Sevika, and Ekko, aren’t actually that.

For example, Vi’s argument with Caitlyn down deep in Zaun (before they’re interrupted by Silco) is more-so about the violence they face from Piltover. Jinx is more of a fighter on behalf of Silco in s1, more driven by gaining his approval and also “sticking it to them” not actually fighting directly for independence. Even in s2, after being told by Sevika she’s now a symbol of hope-once she gets back Isha (and Vander) her priorities again change to something personal, and Zaun independence is out the window.

(Which that’s a s2 problem, but I’d argue even if they tackled the political points more, Jinx would have still done the same thing.)

Even Viktor, when he mentions Zaun, still calls it the Undercity, and he’s not even shown talking with Jayce about getting Zaun independence, just frustrated and angry they’d make weapons out of Hextech in general.

He never even goes “I’m from there, you want to hurt my people?”

Which we can say is a failure in the writing, and it can be-but id also like to point out that in Vi and Viktor’s case-they might be too tired and frustrated with the idea of being independent and instead are just hoping for something more “realistic” to them, such as no more enforcer presence and a better general health and support for their city.

As for characters like Sevika and Ekko-getting safety, independence, respect, all for their city is their driving force. So it would make more sense for them to be more politically vocal, but as for Vi, Jinx, and Viktor-to me it falls more in their character line to try and find a way to live/survive in their city, without it being independent.

Anyways I ranted oops.

Thanks for the ask!

[tokkibean]

since im suddenly spouting (false??) wisdom, i js randomly thought of something else: don't treat your writing like its gold.

okay that sounds rly funny when i put it down on paper or screen, but like - another reason for my perfectionism, especially during rewrites, was because i loved my writing so much. the rhythm of certain lines. the wordplay. the repetition. so even though i knew that for the benefit of the whole story, this part should be edited a little, or even just changed completely, i didn't want to. because i liked them too much to just copy paste them into the document where i hoard all my pretty-but-useless lines, and i thought it was a waste of a genius moment.

and even when rewriting, i just kept adding those lines, which is kinda super, like, ineffective, because those lines are the ones causing me the problem. so i was just rewriting and rewriting the parts that are mostly fine, and that kinda made my interest in my own story run a little low.

and yeah obviously i grin like a proud maniac when i read back what i wrote and find gold, but like, i think its important to not value that gold too highly. like, let yourself accept that this line needs to go sometimes, and that you might have to change what you think is your 'best' writing, because its not, yk? like you may not always be able to stick to a certain style or write in a certain way the whole time, but you're still gna improve if you keep writing, and thats gna be hard to see because its like, improving in a different font yk.

okay thank you for listening to my ted talk anyway hope that wasnt too bad

im realising today that ACTUALLY ACTUALLY being non-perfectionistic and reclaiming my 12-year-old self to genuinely just write for the sake of nothing but having fun is so. much. better and easier than perfectionism.

the quality of my writing doesnt degrade either in fact i think it got better in terms of zoomed-out out flow, smoothness etc etc - i was kinda super busy and only wrote for like 35 minutes-ish today, but its definitely one of the best writing sessions i've had in like, weeks.

SO! moral of the story: perfectionism only makes writing harder. write because you love it, and you wouldn't be writing if you didn't. there's always a second draft anyway. i swear the words come out so much faster and nicer

[nincki-minjaj]

Something, something, feeling like your writing is getting less attention the better you get at it

grumble, grumble, feeling like an ungrateful bastard for being annoyed with lack of engagement

sigh, sigh, wondering if you should just write some more smut because that seems to be what people wanna read

something, grumble, sigh, ugh

[amtrak12]

When you know the fic will turn out so good, the writing, the characters, the humor, all of it -- but then you remember the effort that goes into writing epic-length 50k word fics

[heir-of-the-chair]

I just need everyone to know that I fucking hate Hamlet prince of Denmark. This stupid fictional man makes me so goddamned angry I need to squeeze him like one of those rubber toys where the eyes pop out and shake him so violently like a child discovering snow globes for the first time. I fucking hate Hamlet prince of Denmark oh my god.

[waywardstation]

hi! i havent been on tumblr in a Hot minute but i wanted to come here JUST to tell you that hfbe might be my fave pla fic ive read ao far! the worldbuilding and the characterization of everyone just feels so so right i fall in love

i reread it on ao3 and even tho its not completed its still a joy to reread everytime

Hello hello!! Anon you have no idea how much it meant to me to get to read this. Knowing I put something out there that you wanted to back to and reread means A LOT.

I’m glad you like it so much but man I have been editing the first two chapters (fixing errors, making characters say and do things that are more in line with how I write them now, and just adding scenes in between to help things seem more clear or hit harder), and I’m like man this really isn’t that good haha.

It’s fun to see how much I think I’ve improved since I’ve started trying to write fanfics (I wasn’t aware of how obsessed I had been with commas and run-on sentences at the start lol)

So reading this nice message really gives me such a boost of motivation. I’m so glad you like the worldbuilding, and it makes me excited to get more out because later chapters are when I really introduce specifics on a lot of things. Namely the Pearl Clan’s hunting parties, that has been my favorite.

Now I just gotta get more out! Hoping to put more out for you to read soon kind anon, I really appreciate that you find it’s something you like to reread!

For now, here is a snippet below the cut; I am unsure if I have shared this before, but it’s a scene where Ingo is preparing to advocate for the Clan to use pokeballs to store their pokemon in, so that there is less food consumption (as in HFBE, it’s emphasized that pokeballs put pokemon into a stasis where they don’t need to eat, drink, sleep, etc. for as long as they’re in them. Ingo does it with his pokemon, and he wants the clan to do it too, for their own sakes).

Wording is subject to change (VERY MUCH SO), but enjoy!

—————

“Excuse me Miss Irida, but may we talk for a moment?”

The Pearl Clan leader turned back to see Ingo – he was trailing behind the group, purposefully so. He had been waiting for the right moment to approach her.

“Right now?” Irida’s eyes flickered back over the tops of people’s heads, up towards the communal hall at the top of the hill. “I’m sorry, but can it wait until after the meeting?”

“It is actually about the meeting.” Ingo’s grey eyes were unwavering, waiting — he wanted to ask her something. And Ingo was not one to usually ask for things.

“Ok,” She relented, pausing in the snow both so he could catch up, and they could have their conversation with some privacy. “You have until we reach the hall.”

“Thank you, I assure you it will be quick.” Ingo fell into step beside her, shuffling through the snow as they now both trailed behind the group heading towards the warm hall. He kept his head tilted down just like her, using the brim of his hat to protect against the wind and snowfall. “I, well… I am planning to re-propose a proposition at this meeting tonight. I’d like to make another attempt at advocating for the use of pokeballs.”

“Tonight? Are you serious?” Irida lowered her voice for his sake, looking back between him and the group. How could he possibly think about proposing that when this meeting was for them to discuss how to prepare for this famine? “I’m saying this not as your leader but as your friend, Ingo; now is absolutely not a good time for that. Everyone is already going into this meeting angry. And if you try and start this again, they’re going to-”

Irida took a deep breath; she was already getting stressed over it.

“You know how people are going to react to that. You know who it’s going to upset, Ingo. Especially after last time. And you said you’d let it go.”

“I am well aware of what I said and I intended to stick to it, but these circumstances have changed our tracks, and I believe this may save us from derailing!” Ingo whispered back. He kept throwing quick glances at the nearing hall, gauging how much time he had left to persuade her. “Pokeballs can help us much more than the clan realizes – I’m confident that this can bring us closer to a solution, if not at least be a part of one!”

Irritation and confusion were replaced with genuine curiosity, but a fleck of doubt hesitantly followed after. Irida shook her head, not understanding. “How could they possibly help with all of this?”

“I will explain that in the meeting.” Having conquered the snowy hill, the two reached the warm light that spilled through the hall’s windows to project onto the snow. “But to do that, I need to actually present my proposal, and I’m afraid that will be difficult with the elders tonight. I am trying this for the fourth time now, and I’m aware of how this will most likely be received. I expect they’ll call to send me back to my seat before I even start.”

Ingo paused just outside the doors, waiting for Irida to go in first — she could do so and end the conversation right now if she wanted to, but she didn’t. Instead she stood there, staring at their fading shoeprints in the snow.

Irida could see why he approached her about this now, and a part of her felt sorry for him. “So you want me to vouch for you.”

“Not the proposal itself. Just the time to talk.”

[loderlied]

sharing some thoughts about deactivating here because it’s been difficult pondering idk.

[keeps-ache]

physically i feel like i've experienced exhaustion going at least 75 on a side road while i was just chilling and standing next to my own mailbox when it hit me with its stupid 2025 ford f150 But at least my eyeballs aren't itchy :)

[fruitsofhell]

galactas cause lately ive been trying to compress my gijinka into a little guy. featuring two friends

[teh-nos]

i said in the car fic end note that i had Experimented and Left My Comfort Zone etc and this is true but also at the start it was Anonymous and I tried to cover my tracks slightly and so i made AU Loki who appears to be entirely heterosexual. utter madness right? apparently in my head this would make the fic stand out less somehow. and so reading it over now it feels very weird to me for that reason. why does he only have ex-girlfriends? why is he not thinking about kissing any men? what is wrong with him??? oh god i am so sorry au loki. you poor thing. you heterosexual. i promise i won't do that to you again.

[seventh-district]

several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold

[fingertipsmp3]

Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself

[ifyourereadingthisblinktwice]

i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it