#it really does feel that way sometimes
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Something, something, feeling like your writing is getting less attention the better you get at it
grumble, grumble, feeling like an ungrateful bastard for being annoyed with lack of engagement
sigh, sigh, wondering if you should just write some more smut because that seems to be what people wanna read
something, grumble, sigh, ugh
#i know im just being unbrateful and bitchy#but idk man#it really does feel that way sometimes#people loved stuff i wrote a year ago that i can look back on and see (now) is deeply deeply flawed#then i feel like im writing much better stuff and it feels like no-one is interested#maybe because i am moving away from more fanfiction-y tropes and narration?#i dunno#ignore me honestly im just a grumpy bastard#its just kinda sad to pour my heart into stuff that it feels like no-one wants to see#maybe i should just be writing original stuff#but it used to be so fun posting fic and chatting with people#i guess i just want that back#but idk how#anyway obviously the problem is me and my writing#its not the audiences fault#ugh#as i say#ignore me#just venting a little bit
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been going a little bit insane about this sentence from Ace by Angela Chen for the past week
#replace this with any other type of significant relationship too#also! this book actually rules btw i really recommend it#i didnt read it when it first cane out bc i was like. well i am already pretty familiar with asexuality and not rly interested in 101 stuff#but it turns out it doesnt feel 101-y at all its a super awesome piece of queer theory and also chen has Good opinions#and not weird watered down ones that i am sometimes wary of in aspec communities (frankly especially ace ones)#i think maybe if more people approached asexuality the way chen does (including and maybe even especially ace people)#i would be more inclined to still ID as ace#but anyways!#aro#aromantic#<- tag selections that reflect how i personally engage with this quote#also#described in alt text#also also#j tag#:/#aro media
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I can only imagine that the way tumblr staff got that 1/4 number is if they counted the spam bots as users
#this implies that 3/4 of tumblr are bots but I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case#it really does feel that way sometimes#i have something to say for once
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Okay, but Elizabeth being an absolute savage girlboss isn't something that's talked about enough.
Love how you're spitting facts for our girly pop. 💪💪💪




TBH I go off the personality baby has, and gotta assume some of that sass is definitely Elizabeth
#ask reply#like no way baby was programmed to be that sassy that’s gotta be Elizabeth#TBH I don’t think Elizabeth is mean she more protects herself#so if someone is rude first she’ll be rude back#especially having an older brother like Michael definitely grew thick skin sooner#I gotta draw Elizabeth having fun sometime though#I like to believe despite this fussiness#she’s actually really nice and just wants to have fun too#wants to feel special and loved etc#so does anything she can to get attention#MORE AFTON kids content soon..#they aren’t always fighting promise 💗#when you’re in a dysfunctional family sometimes all you have is your siblings#and I like to believe the Afton kids definitely go by that
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,

#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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i think thats supposed to be about sex things but Not One Of Those, this is the fourth, fifth? couple youve given a lil baby and i think you maybe love lil babys
i too, give the Characters lil babys, because i love them
as well as the myriad of Situations it puts the blorbos in
fourth or fifth publicly/in recent memory, i've been doing it for Years in art i haven't posted akfdhdjhd
i do just really love putting them in Situations you're right
#ramble#nobody really asks 'hey juno why do you keep doing this' but the fact that people know it'll happen comes up a Lot lmao#the short answer: it's fun to write#the long answer (and to why it's usually seahorse dads)#as a queer person and especially a transmasc person when it comes to family stuff you feel kind of. invisible?#like everything surrounding having children is So cishet focused to the point where it never registered as an option for me#at least not until i was an adult#and on the other side of it. being in fandom in the 2010s as a baby trans boy there was just NOTHING#and what there WAS was always fetishised#like CONSTANTLY i cannot stress enough how that's all it was#and that's fine genuinely i don't judge. but sometimes you just want to see yourself Existing in a way that isn't someone's kink?#and i've never wanted it to come across that way in my art and i hope it doesn't bc it's never been about that for me#it's just sort of like. if i keep doing this it might normalise it for someone somewhere#and if they see it in real life (which does happen ALL the time) they'll be less inclined to think it's weird#and queer family rep is way better than it used to be but there's just not enough of it#idk i just like to draw a world where queer families just exist and nobody asks questions if that makes sense#the Situations are also fun
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I WAS HAPPY.
NAGI SEISHIROU; 05.06 Birthday 2025
#blue lock#blue lock spoilers#nagi seishirou#bluelocksource#anisource#animangahive#animangaboys#userokkottsus#userartless#userlysandra#userinahochi#usertorichi#useradrienne#:m#e:gfx#nagi#so i cant animate on path on photoshop. i see. i cant even animate filter? punching the wall punching the wa#im asking for too much wkwkw but the max my laptop can handle is illustrator........ using ae here would give me a headache#anyways given Recent Events. i feel like i gotta make something for nagi's birthday!!!!!!!!! partly to cope#it was nice going back to old chapters for materials n see how much hes grown. hes like a beloved lab rat to me#v msc chapters in particular were. hm. hilarious. ?#i can feel agi's struggle hes basically screaming at ngro to get it together for the last half of the match#epinagi was really fun too hes literally looking at the world with childlike wonder...#his curiosity was delivered as sassy remarks at times n like. sometimes he does mean it but hes an endearing character in that way#wherever that brought him man. hes doing such a good job at Trying!!!
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something about season 5 of voy starting with the episode called night where janeway is at her lowest point + wants to go on suicide mission and ending with the episode called equinox (the time when day and night are approximately the same) where she goes on a revenge rampage, nearly killing someone. <3
#i don't really like when people are like well she is bipolar ☝️ when they try to explain inconsistencies in her character#bc she feels pretty consistent to me#and it doesn’t really work this way??#but i am also bipolar so i claim her#sometimes it does feel like equinox lmao#kathryn janeway#star trek voyager
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“he was mentally ill. this monster was a- was a sick fantasy. a product of his dementia.”
“…i saw it too. does that make me disturbed? demented? does… that make me sick too?”
#txf#the x files#dana scully#fox mulder#folie a deux#this episode … this EPISODE!!!!!!#genuinely so indicative of how much they trust each other….#between mulder just . having to rely on scully for the last part of the ep#scully thinking he’s off his fucking rocker and still looking into what he asks her to look into bc she TRUSTS him . bc she LOVES him !!!!#and maybe he’s a little nuts but goddamnit she will at least check it out !! just in case he’s right!!!#AND she lies for him all the time . i mean she always does this whenever he decides to go nuts But specifically in this ep…#looks skinner in the eye and goes . yea man im totally fully with mulder on this . and he’s definitely not being weird and i definitely kno#what’s going on with him#she lies for mulder all the time its soooo…#anyways . drawing wise this drove me nuts i hate drawing mulder . he’s so hard for me to draw#they’re kinda kirie and shuichi coded in the bottom part but . well . why not . might as well be#ALSOOO i chose that quote for the bottom bc . well . does she think he’s crazy? like actually for real?#i feel like every time scully talks about mulder (up to season five at least as thats where im at) its contained in some way?#in her reports . to family . to skinner . to mulder !#i think the only time she’s Really honest is in the confessional but even then…#bc its not like she’s against speaking her mind . i mean generally and situational but for ppl she’s close to she usually isnt#but when it comes to mulder it always feels contained and like she’s making excuses for him (he is always her exception .#llike whenevrr he gets some disease or affliction or whatever she ALWAYS jumps to going ‘but well… sometimes there’s this excuse’ and she#does this w a lot considering shes science focused but w mulder shes always like . well he ISNT crazy because uhhhh .#this hyperspecific scenario that is in no fuckin way the case)#but does she think he’s crazy? does HE think she thinks he’s crazy?#is he asking about this specific case or is he asking in general? over the entirety of the show?#its been five years scully. is he crazy? sick? demented?#has this all been a sick fantasy fueled by mental illness? youre the doctor scully . surely you have the answer?#anyways i dont think she knows . and if that is the case — what does that mean for her?
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something darkly comedic about the fact that Clea’s last words to Alicia before Aline’s chroma overtakes her are “have fun” and what follows next is just sixteen straight years of Maelle experiencing The Horrors
#I know Clea was probably being a little ironic to begin with but I do believe she genuinely wanted her sister to have fun in the canvas#like so much of the Fading Woman dialogue is just her telling Maelle to spend time with her friends and enjoy herself#sometimes in a condescending way? yes but she’s an oldest sister it’s practically a contractual obligation#she’s likely witnessed months of Alicia (1) heavily injured and in pain and (2) in a deep depression#she really does want Alicia to be happy and enjoy her life. in whatever way she chooses.#and then Maelle goes through an absolute ringer of (dead parents) (foster homes) (being seen as a bad child) (nightmares) (abandonment)#(trauma) (finally feeling safe with Gustave and Emma) (witnessing mass slaughter) (thinking Gustave is dead) (actually watching him die)#(having a breakdown) (multiple more nightmares and out of body experiences) (watching everyone gommage) (gommaging herself)#all in sixteen years. speedrunning the trauma gauntlet.#god poor Maelle watching her in act two makes me so sad she’s just a kid and she’s going THROUGH it#expedition 33 spoilers#clair obscur spoilers
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I've been following @druidposting's DR2 playthrough on discord and we just had a really good discussion about DR's Closing Arguments. Specifically the way the murderer is depicted as grey and featureless, which until now I found a bit annoying.
In Danganronpa it's repeatedly the case that we don't have the full picture until the talking actually stops- which always goes beyond the end of the trial. We generally vote first and come to understand what the murderer's actual motive was, sometimes filling in important pieces of the timeline in the process, afterwards.
But none of that matters for the killing game because characters' emotions aren't directly relevant to who was the 'blackened'- the only thing that matters to Monokuma- so it comes out afterwards and does nothing to change their execution. It doesn't matter how sympathetic they are (basically everyone) or whether other people share responsibility for the situation (eg. Hanamura, Pekoyama, Momota) or whether they intended to murder at all (Nanami). They objectively pulled the trigger and nothing else matters. Nothing about them as a person matters.
The Closing Argument mechanic might illustrate that problem- literally. They're a dramatic, conclusive summary of the entire case... constructed before the vote even happens, before we know if we're actually right, and they're missing something really important:
The actual perpetrator.
We quite literally don't even begin to see the real person behind the crime, any real exploration of their mental state, anything besides the cold, hard facts of the murder that are necessary to convict them, until the comic finishes and the protagonist makes their final accusation- replacing the grey figure with their real appearance in a shot that's often intensely emotional.
And these comics lack crucial parts of the case's timeline and sometimes important parts of the very scenes they depict that we only find out about afterwards. And those are what we know; characters may die with some pieces of the truth and prevent us from ever learning them. These aren't objective depictions of the murder, they're the protagonist's subjective attempt to connect the facts they have. A join-the-dots portrait of someone with missing dots and no colour.
Even characters' expressions may not match how they truly feel, with the grey placeholder potentially looking way more confident and sinister than they were in reality. Pasting Falter's commentary here since they put it well.
For obvious reasons this could especially be a problem for characters that die before the trial- the ones we never get a post-vote testimony from. DR1 chapter 4 really highlighted that in the way Asahina's huge misinterpretation of Oogami's feelings took up a lot of the post-trial discussion, only for Monokuma to reveal Oogami's real suicide note and recontextualise everything.
It might really be a problem for how Komaeda's depicted in DR2 chapter 5. While he isn't greyed out, we get panel after panel where he's either level-headed or maniacally evil, and even the depictions of his self-torture and death don't humanise him:
But we know that his real feelings were more complicated than that. We have his actual corpse to compare the last page to.
He died afraid.
If we approach the comic as Hinata's mental image of him instead of reality, he died without anyone truly understanding him. He was alarming, very hard to relate to, actively fought against people doing so, ensured even the killer didn't watch him die, and the survivors couldn't begin to understand his motive until a chapter later. The Closing Argument reflects that.
Early in DR1 Togami calls out the rest of his class for judging others by their own standards. However, he, too, is doing this, maybe more so than many other characters; his inability to view other people through anything but the cold, brutal logic of the killing game bites him in the ass in chapter 4. In DR2 chapter 2 voting without a good understanding of Pekoyama's motive or Kuzuryuu's involvement nearly got everyone killed. Komaeda's a walking embodiment of the problems with flattening people into caricatures and not empathising with them, suffered from people doing that back to him, and his case- the Closing Argument for which turned everyone else into grey placeholders- was impossible to solve with objective facts. It was only survivable because the survivors cooperated and one person tried to analyse things the way he would.
The games have always been a critique of the justice system and Japanese society and push us to care about others as individuals, not reduce them to- and judge their right to exist by- something they've done or their net impact on society. There are always consequences when someone neglects to do that, and the above might be yet another way the games explore that theme.
#danganronpa#dr analysis#komaedology#komaeda#.txt#sorry @ non komaedaheads for making it about komaeda again LMAO#that was not the intention initially he's just... a really good exploration of this#and i think about his expressions in that comic vs his corpse and what we retroactively knew he was dealing with a lot#btw don't send spoilers to falter please!! i'm @ing to credit them- this was a discussion not solely my ideas- but they are not done yet#and aren't reading this post until they're caught up for obvious reasons#this came from discussing ch2 since the incomplete picture people voted with nearly killed them#(btw don't @ me about komaeda's description in the second-last paragraph being an oversimplification; i know :p )#(he has nuance- especially outside of the killing game- but i'm just focusing on the thematically relevant broad strokes here)#(eg. i feel like he demonstrates empathy sometimes but kodaka has said that lack of ability to empathise/be empathised with#is a theme for him- and the ways he's been proactive in the killing game consistently lacked regard for others' feelings/individuality#reducing them to interchangeable Ultimates(TM) instead. it's partly why he self-destructed while everyone else#was able to forgive themself and keep moving forwards imo. your worth being defined rigidly by objective contributions to society#does not mesh well with the idea of rehabilitating people who've destroyed the world before they could even start to improve it#and even if he did give them a chance at surviving he still succumbed to his own ideology in the end#killed himself for 'hope' and to be 'important' like he 'wanted' but died terrified and in pain and alone instead of fulfilled#man i wish 2.5's ending/postnwp canon in general dug into that ;-; )#ANYWAY ty for reading all that. i feel like i rambled a lot in this one. i have a headache now ghdkjsfgdsf
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Being constantly surrounded by the presence of a loving God sounds great until you realize you never know when his freaky fuckin eyes are gonna show up to check on you.
And man. They do it a LOT.
#primus please let the mech breathe#what i want to emphasize most with this iteration of optimus is the inherent fucking terror of being made a prime#really pick at those little threads of how fucked the matrix as a concept is. same with the staple tropes of op himself#the idea in tfp that it can entirely change your personality. and that if you lose it you cannot remember your time with it#those implications send me spiraling. to what degree is optimus the same being as orion pax? do you forfeit your soul to be a demigod?#do you fucking die to become a conduit for the higher being that made you? letting it puppet your mind and body like a parasitoid?#if death in transformers is simply rejoining the allspark; if the soul is something splintered off from the whole;#and if to die as a cybertronian is for that fragment to merge with the whole once again. is a prime not fundamentally a dead mech walking?#a prime stands with one pede in the afterlife and one in the land of the living and has to keep up with both at once#constantly seeing visions from a plane his processor was never meant to comprehend with optics that were never built to see it#forced to adapt into an elevated being as much as a frame that still has silly things like wants and needs and emotions and base coding can#how does a mortal live when his body is no longer just his body; but a vessel fir something holy and a tool fashioned to heal the world?#when he can never truly be alone again and he has to simply live with the ever present knowledge that he is being watched#both by his god and by the world#how does one live knowing not even their thoughts are private? when your god may be living but man he does not get the idea of boundaries#guess it must be hard to grasp personal space and all that when youre an ocean of souls that left it behind#maccadam#transformers#wayward sparks#optimus prime#art tag#sometimes i feel kinda bad for putting this bastard through The Horrors. if ws gets made all the way he will be thrown so many bones#only sometimes tho >:3
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bunter keeping peter from being swallowed up by an evil bog with the kind of hysterical strength otherwise only known by mothers deadlifting cars to save their tender babes is something that can actually be so personal
#lord peter wimsey#mervyn bunter#so jigencore of him honestly. if lupin or peter were inside a irrevocably burning house jigen and bunter would be running#directly and determinedly into the fire to get to their personal Little Guy and that's just the way it is#with the slight distinction that I think bunter might genuinely and uncomplicatedly be *gentle gasp* straight (??? listen i KNOW)#I'm only just about to start book 3 so my opinion is by no means conclusive or comprehensive of course. but those are my vibes#you know how rarely and hesitantly I bestow the 'heterosexual' headcanon upon a beloved blorbo but I think this is one such situation#his attachment and devotion to his silly lil guy seems to come from some far deeper and less readily explicable source#than any such humdrum motives as human sexuality or romantic feeling however sincere could account for lol#it's not exactly parental but sometimes it feels like peter has two moms. his mom. and bunter who actually does most of the mom stuff lol#(or arguably also the wife stuff if we start to look uncomfortably deeply into the overlapping roles in traditional gender politics)#also wrapped up soooo much class stuff and the politics of caretaking physical AND emotional inherent in that#don't worry tho I am seeing rampant queercoding in plenty of other places lol (can we TALK about parker marrying peter's sister.#like ok king. I'm sure that means nothing. also everything about sir impey biggs. what a delight of a character I'm obsessed with him)#(one thing I really noted in clouds of witness is that denver's valet doesn't note Anything about his employer's mail or general mood#can you IMAGINE for even a second bunter not being on top of all of peter's correspondence. not attuned to his emotional state#or interested in his well-being at any moment in time. no you cannot. that is a thing that just would not happen.#I suppose denver does not have the sheer pathetic sad wet cat energy peter has that awakens the protective instinct in people lmao#I jest but I do have deeper thoughts about for all the fantasy of financial independence and freedom from worry he represents#wimsey is right from the getgo a character defined by his vulnerability and interconnectedness -- in being dependent#on the people in his life to help him manage his mental health. he is so fundamentally not a lone detective he's so deeply entrenched#in a social and societal context right from the beginning!!! he seems lonely in many ways but he NEEDS people around him#in a way and with a urgent fragility I feel is rare in the genre and with the tropes at play. and bunter#is in many ways the emotional center of that here in the early days. he keeps peter's world together more than anyone. fascinating stuff#(peter holding on to parker's trenchcoat at the end of whose body hit me so tenderly right behind the ribs my god)
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Rikuo Byakuya in No. 1 Sentai Gozyuger 01x17 Shine Brightly! No. 1 Sports Day!
+ bonus
#gozyuger spoilers#no. 1 sentai gozyuger#no.1 sentai gozyuger#gozyuger#gifs.rikuo#rikuo byakuya#gozyu leon#gozyu lion#super sentai#userdramas#umbrella.gifs#tokuedit#please do not repost#umbrella.edits#umbrella.posts#really glad his relationship with hoeru is growing#hoeru feels comfortable enough to open up a bit and you know he's not the type to ask for help when he needs it but this one thing means#something and rikuo can recognize that and i just think rikuo can recognize a lot but at the same time he does tend to be mindful#of others' boundaries so he sometimes can come across as not caring too much when he really does care but wants to be respectful#i have a lot of thoughts about this will have to work out my thoughts soon#either way i think him supporting hoeru as his equal is a big step for their relationship
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I like Batman. I like Batman as a character. I like Bruce Wayne. But it is very unserious when people act like Jason Todd, or maybe Damian, the robins as a whole, or any one writer, or any specific story arc, is singlehandedly corrupting Bruce’s character into an severe and inflexible colleague and distant, emotionally-unavailable father. Because even if he hadn't consistently been a questionable, loving yet unhealthy AT BEST father figure in the majority of his appearances since the early 80s (and I do mean to Dick, to Cass (actually shaping her into his image in Batgirl 2000 at the cost of her social development and autonomy ISNT good,) a BAD mentor to Steph, not even getting into Helena, like truly it’s not all about Jason?) The first well-written book that comes to mind where his morality is at its worst imo? That’s Wonder Woman: Hiketeia. No robins, no batfamily, just Bruce putting aside Wonder Woman’s input and the context of the situation and chasing down a girl who killed the men responsible for trafficking, assaulting, and killing her baby sister, to the point where it ends with her jumping off a cliff.
And the thing is I still like reading him in Hiketeia, because he fills the role he needs to fill in that story well, his actions align with his wordview even if it’s taken to the extreme in an uncharitable way, and he keeps my attention. I just think it’s goofy how some of us on here look at the guy who’s big character trait is being a hard-to-know, stubborn, and condescending control freak who puts other people's emotions on the wayside in favor of his mission prolifically, and go “all he did was LOVE TOO MUCH! His mean kids and associates and teammates are PUNISHING HIM for LOVING with his BIG BIG HEART and it’s tainting the narrative!” And you could say “well Hiketeia doesn't count, Greg Rucka is just a hater!” (though I certainly wouldn’t.) But when the issue is Damian entertaining the idea of leaving the family business, and before that it’s Red Hood stepping on toes, and then, wait, before that it’s Green Arrow and Wonder Woman, and then Huntress, and then oh wait we can’t think about the weird patch with Nightwing where their relationship was super rocky, and then Jason but before he died, and of course the Green Lanterns are basically treated like punching bags for him to do something awesome then- Like maybe if it’s a consistent pattern spanning what, 20, 30 years now? The issue isn’t Damian or Red Hood alone, or PKJ or Greg Rucka or Judd Winick or Marv Wolfman + George Perez or even Jim Starlin being a hater, but your blorbo just having extremely well-documented character flaws?
#Batman already has to be the strongest and smartest and most powerful at the cost of other characters getting shafted to a comical extent#and now he's the kindest and the sweetest and the most understanding and the biggest heart in the whole wide world too?#why's it character regression for Damian + Jason when they get into the same 20 year old fights w/ Bruce but not character stagnancy for hi#it's okay for him to stick to his guns at the cost of everyone around him but for them it's regression to not fold to his will everytime?#ok#yeah sure#some of you are so devoted to the character Batman (man who dresses up as a bat) being right forever and ever#that you're starting to use actually unbelievable justifications to defend his name in every possible situation#“it doesn't count that he punched Dick in the face he was just in a really bad emotional place!”#“he's such a cute girldad to Batgirl! I love when he tries to get her to live her life underground unable to leave for fear of the FBI”#batman has never wronged ANYONE! and don't say prioritizing catching the Joker over his runaway presumed-suicidal kid son#or blaming Dick for Jason's death or trying to sacrifice Cass's chance at a public identity so she can be his soldier full time or Steph#or Helena or making an effort to isolate every one of his kids from their peers (he's overprotective daddy uwu) or#or letting multiple women die in favor of their assaulters or firing Dick in the first place or going out of his way to PROTECT the Joker#“Jason's the only problem child who makes him act like this” so I am excluding every thing he did wrong to RH Jason to humor that bs#this isn't even about Jason the ever-understanding version of Bruce you imagine simply does not exist outside of maybe DCAU cartoons!#dc comics#I'm not tagging this as Bruce for obvious reasons but I'm not anti Bruce for real#and I'm not saying “urrrrgh Batman hitting his kids is fine actually”#I'm saying “Batman would NEVER! He kisses them tenderly on the forehead every night and reassures them he loves them” is just so untrue#just saw something tagged with “bruce wayne critical” which feels much more accurate than “anti bruce wayne” so I'll use that!#bruce wayne critical#I'm not anti him this is just kinda unflattering commentary on how we interpret his character sometimes
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jason and juno's relationship is like "you were my mother, why couldn't you have just been my mother? and "i will be your sword and your shield" and "i made you into a hero. you ruined me. it's the same thing!" and "i will spend my lifetime being your dutiful champion" and "everything i am is because of you" and "it was my life! you had no right to take that from me. it was my life" and "a girl will be the daughter of zeus but you, jason grace, shall be mine" and "mom, am i still young? can i dream for a few months more?" and "i love you and i always will and i am sorry. what a useless word" and "i have my father's nose and all his rage, but i have my mother's face and her grief" and "or was my rage my mother's? or her mother's? or hers? an inherited creature?" and "but i am very homesick for arms that have never held me" and "the arms that cradled you are covered in an unfathomable amount of blood. but they cradled me, yes?" and "i will die your daughter and i will die your daughter and i will die your daughter" and "i hate you for what you did and i miss you like a little kid" and "hello? this is your mother. are you there? are you coming home?" and "mother, eat me and give birth to me again. this time around i'll make you proud" and "a fragment of god has been found in my mother's tender, fleeting smile" and "beause i'm my mother's son, i leave the arrow in my throbbing heart. what kills me keeps me alive" and "i have searched for my mother's love in all corners of the world" and "to say that you abandoned me would be very unjust, but that i was abandoned, and at times horribly, is true" and "i've done everything you have ever asked me. everything. i have given everything i've ever had" and "if i let him do this to me, what else will i allow? anything, anything, anything" and "i love you so much i'm going to let you kill me" and "you believe me like a god and i destroy you like like i am" and "i am forever your most devoted believer" and "somebody always needs to go first. i know this. i go first" and "i ache for the idea of it" and "i still loved you. i still have to live with that" and "i forget about you long enough to forget why i needed you" and "i miss you more than i remember you" and "when you find an old picture of us, and you clear away the dust, i hope you miss me sometimes" and "if home is where the heart is, then we're all just fucked. i can't remember, i can't remember" and "and i'll dream each night of some version of you, that i might not have but i did not lose" and "it's been a long time since i've been me" and "i am not the person i dream of being" and "i want everything back, the way it was. but there is no point to it, this wanting" and most importantly, "of course the love is there. still, still, still."
#THIS ONLY WORKS IN AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION WHERE RIORDAN ACTUALLY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT HIS CHARACTERS#first of all the most mommy issues man i've ever seen#and it's all about your mom being the worst person alive and still loving her anyway#and my gallery is full of web weaving quotes that i will now have to delete#and i wanted more quotes from juno's perspective but really who's writing about that?#'i'm sorry i love you but i'm going to rewrite every facet of who you are'????#'you're my son in every way that matters but i do not care enough'?????#'i love you. it will not save you. if anything you are more damned than ever before'????#and jason is her dog (devotedly) and her son. i do think some things are too important to ever fully be wiped#but juno does her best and jason is never fully her son again and she will never be his sometime-mom again#and he will never truly remember and therefore he will never truly be Jason Grace again#also imo riordan should've leaned into the whole 'giving jason up to juno' or whatever#like his spqr tattoo should've had a peacock feather instead of an eagle. real 'son of juno' vibes#everyday i think about pre-amnesia jason being her most devoted follower and then i think about post-amnesia jason feeling basically nothin#very mommy issues but also very 'knight and their most precious lord'#jason grace#pjo hera#pjo juno#jason and juno#jason and hera#pjo hoo toa#heroes of olympus#hoo
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