#anyway. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[mattodore]

[whenfatecollides]

the fact that sweet home writers went 'we're going to kill half our og cast and then skip a year ahead without any explanation whatsoever about what happened in between oh and by the way here's a hundred new characters and half of them are military soldiers' really is baffling to me. everything season 1 managed to build being completely destroyed in a matter of 4 episodes is craaaazy to me. I just can't believe these were the same writers involved in season 1 there's just no way

[hauntingofhouses]

putting this on my main blog too cuz i love him and want him plastered on all the walls of my brain and the internet

Commission of Indra, my OC by @lavellyne!!

This is old, all the way back from 2022, but every so often I like to look at it again and squeal because this is the best art there is of my murderous undead-ish babygirl <3 <3 <3

[peevishpants]

honestly thank god for f1. if i hadn't gotten stupidly into formula 1 racing i'd probably be watching Show Me The Money Season 11 this time of the year, which i hear apparently sucks ass. i saw the producer teams and some of the finale stages and clicked right off lmao

[star-puff]

when will i feel hot again

[theabyssalmuses-a]

Sleepover!~ Drabble

The light of the moon shone through the window, illuminating the various pens and papers placed haphazardly all across the room. Stars twinkled in the sky, scattered like crumbs upon the oaken table...

“Ugh...what a mess.”

Monika sighs, hands on her hips as she surveys the room. Several books, pieces of paper, pens were cluttering up the free space, while crumbs, wrappers and packets fell in between. Dutifully, she took hold of a dust pan and brush and got to work, sweeping up the undesireables and emptying them into the bin. She was thorough, checking every spot twice before finally moving on to organising. The paper was all put into one neat stack, the various work books placed into another- and the pens slot neatly into her pen holder.

“There.” She says with a self-satisfied tone, looking at her handiwork with a small smile. Pleased with the state of the room now, she sits down, taking a moment to think back on the day’s events. Now that she was thinking on it, she found it kind of ridiculous just how messy a single person could be...

Right- she was really surprised when Sayori ran up to her this morning- practically begged Monika for help with her homework- and so this study session was arranged just like that. For something so spur of the moment, Monika was happy with how it turned out. Even if she had to help a bit, Sayori managed to do a lot of it herself- which in a weird way, made Monika feel proud...although, there was something on her mind even so.

“This...hasn’t ever happened before...” She muses, tapping a finger to her cheek in thought. She didn’t want to overthink it-- as she was so often prone to doing-- but a [new event] like this is something she really needs to consider the consequences of.

...Back then, she promised- both them and herself- she would keep herself, her friends, her Reality safe. Back then, she told that person that, ‘even if you aren’t here, I’ll make sure to keep them happy’ . She promised, ‘I’ll show them the love you did, forever, until they understand.’

It was her responsibility, her burden, and her gift. After all that she had done, the horrible, monsterous things- she felt sickened to her stomach so much as remembering, but she could not allow herself to grow complacent. She knew just as much as anyone else how flawed she was.

But her friends? Her friends...were simple. They weren’t like Her, or ‘that person’. They were simple minded, predictable even. She loved them, of course, and she had vowed to keep them happy, to keep this carefree, everyday life running, but... at the end of the day, it wasn’t hard to satisfy them. Algorithms and Code dictated their actions, not any semblance of Free Will...as much as it pained her to admit.

...But this, right here, had never happened before. Not once. Never had any of the girls wanted to spend time with her out of school hours. (She didn’t take it personally, of course. By nature of being the Guide Character; a role she had long since accepted, she wasn’t supposed to get involved with them as much as they would each other...and ‘that person.’ )

But, here they were. 

She begins to think, and think, and think. Remembering every interaction she could, overanalysing and reaching for every little detail. “Think, Monika, think! There has to be a reasonable explanation. Perhaps the script is loading data from one of Yuri’s stories, or...or...” she mumbles, pouring over any little thing she could, mind racing to find an explanation- but there was nothing- nothing except...more, smaller, unoticed incidents.

The other day, Natsuki called her- she started the call with ‘Can you hear me?’ -- Monika had thought nothing of it at the time, but now-- isn’t it strange not to say ‘Hello’ a couple times first?

No, before that-- what was it Yuri had said as they left school for the evening a few days prior? ‘Is there any more than this, Monika?’ - At first, Monika brushed it aside as just Yuri being...well, Yuri- but with all this in mind...What does it mean? Just what does it mean?

She took a deep breath. Calm yourself, Monika, calm yourself; Just what does it mean?’ -- come now, you’re surely over thinking things again. Another deep breath, she tells herself to calm down over and over, the pounding in her chest gradually fading away.

“Ah...goodness me. To think I got all worked up over...” she goes silent, glancing at the still sleeping Sayori. “....over the thought that...my friends might one day...”

She exhales, biting her lip to ground herself. The welling emotions within her threatening to spill out. After all this time functionally alone, after all that had happened, all that she did-- if they all, some day, became like her...

would they...even want to be around her? would they hate her?

She takes more deep breaths, trying to focus herself, to push away this feeling of panic and dread taking root in her mind, before her emerald eyes finally land on Sayori’s face, sleeping soundly as ever.

Right. Its all for her. For Natsuki, and for Yuri. All of this is for all of them. If they ‘wake up’ as it were, she has to make sure they can live as happily as possible...even if they hate her. Even if they despise her. That would be her burden, but their smiles would be her gift.

She takes a seat once more, her mind finally calming down after the onset of panic. Then, glancing at the time, she sighs- before beginning to get changed into her own pajamas...

“Wrap your arms around me, we’ll take a little time, you know that i’d do anything just to make sure that you’re fine... and I know you deal with many things that occupy your mind... you can tell me...you can tell me.... Eyes are getting heavy as we wallow in the warmth, I know you’re happy because that’s all that this is for, cause you told me that you wanted this but now i wonder who it’s for... can you tell me? can you tell me?

--

“Whoaa, Moni-! I had no idea you could sing so well~!”

“Bwah-!? Sayori? You’re awake!?” Monika almost screamed in shock- but thankfully held most of her composure. “Ehh..uhm...th-thanks...How much of that did you hear?!” She asked, her voice maybe a little shaken.

Sayori giggled sleepily, grinning her trademark smile as she spoke. “Mhmmm...all of it? Your voice was so nice, I heard it in my dreams~ or something~ like that~” childish as ever, Sayori speaks non-sensically but with suck a tone of earnestness that it’s impossible to get mad at her. “Say, what’re you still doin’ awake anyways...? It’s like, Sleep O’Clock right now!”

Monika sighs, though there’s a smile on her face. Sayori was always like this, no matter what, and something about that was relieving. Even back then, with ‘that person’ -- there really wasn’t much difference between then and now. With a weight off her chest, she thinks: ‘maybe...I don’t have anything to worry about.’. She folds her clothes up and places them in her laundry basket as she speaks back, already feeling alot better than earlier (that’s just the kind of difference Sayori makes, she supposes.) “Oh, uhm...I cleaned up! Don’t worry, I was just about to go down and hit the couch, haha~!”

“NONSENSE!” Sayori suddenly excalimed, catching Monika off guard. “You can’t be sleeping on the couch in your own house! That’s crazy~!” Out of nowhere,t the club president then found herself unceremoniously dragged by an unknown, mysterious force (read: Sayori’s Hands) and pulled down onto the bed. With a cry of surprise, she faceplants into the pillow.

“Sayori, hey--! Is there really enough room for both of us?” She asks, re-adjusting herself so that she isn’t face first into a pillow. The other club member just grins to herself, almost snickering as she moves closer, and closer, and closer...like some kind of shark!

“There is if we snuggie up! C’mere!” “Waah, S-sayori?!”

“See, it’s fine! Plenty of room here, Monika~!” The exciteable, yet sleepy girl excalims. “Don’t you worry...everything will be alright.” --though inline with something Sayori would normally & casually say , there’s a certain weight, or intention, to her words. As if said with meaning, with feeling, with purpose.

Monika can only huff, before closing her eyes.

“Mhm...I’m sure you’re right, Sayori...I hope you’re right....” “I’m not too smart, but...I like to think even I can be right sometimes. Ehehehe~ Oh, but...we should get some sleep, so... G’night Moni~!” “..Oh, yes, right!...”

Monika smiles, closing her eyes contently. A sleepover, that’s what this was. It had never happened before, but because of that, she had never experienced one either. Putting aside doubts of the future, regrets of the past, and even concerns of the present- Monika allowed herself to enjoy this simple moment...

“Goodnight, Sayori...”

[1990danieljohnston]

girl the album literally came out an hour ago how are people already giving opinions are you sure? are you sure you read someone say that? okay. i guess

[redorich]

(Hermit Canyon AU)

Eventually, the Hermit seems to get attached to Puffy. It makes sense- it's been trading gifts with her for months now, and has even shown itself to her a few times, albeit while invisible.

The other SMPers don't think much of it at first. The more curious members ask Puffy questions about The Hermit sometimes, but she knows little, so they quickly give up. Occasionally someone will try to explore the ridiculously trapped town, but they give up once it's obvious they're not getting in.

The trades grow more and more valuable, and one day Puffy opens her barrel to find a beacon, and enough iron to fully power it. She's stunned, naturally. To think the Hermit is so capable it can kill a Wither just to give a beacon away- she can barely believe it.

(In actuality, they cheesed it on the Nether roof, but she doesn't know that)

She does try to hide it, but word gets around, and after another few failed raids on the town (and some rumours that the Hermit can teleport), things settle down again, as much as they can on the SMP.

Then someone steals Puffy's beacon. {You decide who, because I. don't actually watch DSMP, admittedly.}

Puffy, naturally, is devestated- she can't imagine the work the Hermit put into getting it for her in the first place (the most time-consuming thing was getting the Wither skulls, and it wasn't even that bad). But there's not really much she can do, so she carries on.

Except, the next day, the thief wakes up to find their house full of chickens, Puffy's beacon missing, and every single empty space in their chests filled with strategically renamed light grey stained glass panes.

They go outside to find the entire contents of a cave spider spawner on their front lawn. Alongside a ravager. With speed potions. Renamed Pamela's Revenge.

(Cue half the SMP trying to find out who Pamela is)

Puffy, meanwhile, wakes to find her beacon back in its rightful place, and a beautifully terraformed garden outside her house (Scar accidentally detonated a creeper and naturally had to fix the hole...and then went a little overboard. But it's fine.)

op i want you to know that i considered just posting your ask, because it’s already So Good and practically a fic on its own, but i really wanted even more content so i wrote it myself. ANYWAY here’s sapnap’s terrible horrible no good very bad day xD

It’s risky, doing anything on the wide open Nether roof where anyone can see. Hell, using a beacon at all is risky for the Hermits. Still, they’ve got all sorts of farms and copious amounts of materials at their fingertips. They’re past early game, stuck in mid-game while they wait for Etho to scope out more locations, while they build the second Upside Down (which Grian has named the Upside-ier Down), while they build their joint bases miles out from civilization. 

Having a beacon would make the process faster, they reason to themselves. They certainly aren’t risking being discovered just because they’re bored and getting a beacon is an excuse to do something. And hell, Tango made that giant, super-efficient wither skeleton skull farm right next to his double blaze spawner farm, so they might as well mass-produce Nether stars by killing multiple Withers. It’s not that difficult.

On another note, it’s after they gift Puffy one of their many beacons, in addition to a kit of iron blocks for powering the beacon that the Hermits realize that while their gifts are increasing in expense, Puffy’s are... not. So, if Puffy’s around average in the Dream SMP economy, they’ve figured out where most players meet their limit. She hasn’t stopped dropping by, though, which is nice. Her gifts become increasingly handmade, in lieu of upping the ante on material wealth. The Hermits suppose that hand-crafted items have a value that extends past money. Each and every one of them has something that she’s made for them, whether it be a shawl, a blanket, a set of earrings, a bracelet, or a pair of socks.

Apparently the beacon is more of a Big Deal than the Hermits thought. After all, the rainbow castle has several. However, the Hermits realize that they’ve been shortsighted. While it is true that the rainbow castle has several beacons, the castle is the only place that they’ve seen any beacons.

Sapnap steals the beacon. He doesn’t particularly need it, but he wants it, and stealing is fun. Maybe if he’s lucky, he’ll even start another minor war over it. He hasn’t fought Puffy very much. He wonders if she can put up a good fight.

Puffy’s-- not distraught, but she’s upset. That was a gift from the Hermit, a friend who she’s been pulling out of its shell. She doesn’t have much use for a beacon, but then again, neither does Sapnap; he’s just a dick. Just in case, Puffy leaves a note with the rest of the items she leaves in her barrel:

Dear Hermit,

I’m very sorry for losing the beacon you gave me. I made the mistake of keeping it in a normal chest instead of an Ender chest, so Sapnap stole it. I should have seen that coming. I’ll try to get it back, but if I don’t, please know that I didn’t throw it away.

Thank you,

Puffy.

Sapnap wakes up in the middle of a lake. His mattress is floating, and when he tries to paddle back to shore (once he’s done screaming), the mattress tips over and he receives an unpleasant fishy wakeup call. He trudges into his house for a shower, and finds that the showerhead, as well as all his faucets, have been stuffed with ramen noodle seasoning. 

He looks in his chests for a bucket of water. The first chest he checks is not only full of light gray glass, but also trapped. When he opens it, pufferfish fall out of the ceiling and bounce around. He dies to their poison twice before they finally die. The next chest he opens also has light gray glass, no water buckets, and a trap. This one, though, only releases a metric fuckton of chickens into his house. It’s fine. This is fine.

As he looks through his chests, he realizes something. They’ve got glass in them, sure, and they’ve been raided of water buckets, but... the beacon is gone. None of his other items, like enchanted netherite tools or literal diamond blocks, have been stolen. Just Puffy’s beacon.

Whoever pranked him missed a bucket, so he promptly dumps it over his head in an effort to smell less like pond scum and spicy chicken noodles. It takes the whole day to get his base back in order: he’s got to clean out all the faucets, empty all the glass from his chests, throw out all the dead pufferfish, and slaughter chickens by the dozens.

He can’t sleep. Are you fucking kidding. He can’t sleep. A soft hiss catches his attention, only audible now that the quiet of night has fallen. Is there somehow an unlit cave under his base?

Nope. As he steps outside onto his front lawn, he sees a daylight detector near the door that he missed when he came inside this morning. The daylight detector seems to have released approximately fifteen bajillion cave spiders onto his lawn, and they’re all angry, so he shuts the front door in their faces and goes back inside. That’s a problem for tomorrow’s him.

Horns spear the wall right next to where Sapnap was standing five seconds ago. He yelps. What the fuck is a ravager doing on his front porch? And why the FUCK does it have speed potion particles?!

<Sapnap was slain by Pamela’s Revenge>

<Sapnap was slain by Pamela’s Revenge>

<Sapnap hit the ground too hard whilst trying to escape Pamela’s Revenge>

<Sapnap was slain by Cave Spider>

<Sapnap was slain by Pamela’s Revenge>

<Georgenotfound> who is pamela’s revenge

<Sapnap> ;RVAER

<Sapnap> HELP

<Sapnap> RAVEAGER

<Sapnap was slain by Pamela’s Revenge>

<Georgenotfound> good night sapnap :)

<Sapnap> GEORGE OYU BITCH HLEP ME

<Sapnap was slain by Pamela’s Revenge>

<Georgenotfound> zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

-------

Puffy sees a whole lot of nonsense in the chat when she wakes up in the morning, and promptly decides to ignore it. She goes about her morning as usual, heading out to her front porch to sip a cup of coffee in peace. 

She... has a garden now. Hm. That wasn’t there before. And come to think of it, neither was the beacon she lost.

“Thanks, Hermit,” she says with a smile.

-------

Stress sips a cup of tea, having breakfast in Grian’s rustic sitting room with a few of her fellow Hermits.

“D’ya think we went overboard?” she says.

“...Nah,” Cub says.

[five-moreminutes-pls]

Hmmm why am I alway such in a lovey mood at night

Anyway @aaronzofficial zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ilysmmmmmmmmmmmm 💕💕💕💕💕

[peacevine]

anyways i’m too tired to reply to things in that thread while also not immediately making the pvp forum live up to its name so zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[popculturebuffet]

Mickey Mouse Birthday Shortstravaganza!

It’s Mickey and Minnie’s Birthday! It was 92 Years Ago Today everyone’s faviorite mouse came in on a tide of whistling, romance and animal abuse and swept into America’s hearts and wallets. Okay I am a day late on this, I had a busy day, but hey a belated celebratoin’s still good right? Right? Eh i’m doing it anyway.   Anyway since then he’s been one of animations most iconic characters, and while out of the classic power trio I vastly prefer donald and goofy, they still woudln’t be around without Disney’s big cheese and having not seen a ton of Mickey’s shorts, I felt I owed it to the big eared one to take a look at a bunch of his shorts for his birthday and see how I liked em. If your curious about my previous Donald Duck marathon, it’s CLICK THIS LINK.  Unlike last time all of these shorts are on Disney+ as more of Mickey’s library is on there and one or two of these were added recently, as Disney tends to add a few a month. I do wish there were more on there.. but unlike with say the handful of shows they haven’t put on there, i’m a bit more forgiving here. For one thing, YouTube has all the shorts available from various uploaders and DIsney hasn’t touched them despite Plus’ launch. Given like most companies Disney usually has their bots a cirlcing for their content, this has to be delebrate on there part and it’s a good gesture from the company. So while not in crisp HD like the Plus copies, or as easily avaliable, you can find any short that’s happened. So the shorts not all being up at once isn’t an issue like most of the shows that are absent on Plus. 

They also heavily need to cherry pick their library as some shorts simply haven’t aged well or have offensive stuff. With the exception of “The Beach Picnic”, which has a racist caricature of native americans via ants.. yes really, most of the shorts are fine to show kids, and have aged pretty well. And as my last marathon showed some shorts.. just haven’t. While not you know racist, seriously why is the Beach Picnic on there?, “Donald’s Penguin”, while utterly adorable at first, ends with Donald trying to murder a baby penguin with a shot gun. No amount of content warnings is going to get past one of their beloved icons pointing a shotgun at a baby. While Disney’s self conciousness can be silly, the splash edit and not putting the Darkwing Duck episode “Hot Spells” on plus for instance, this is one time when I can agree with them: if someone is curious about a paticuarlly offensive short or a propoganda one, youtube exists. But given Plus is trying to be all ages and dosen’t have censoring they have to be careful what they put on there, and I can respect that. I don’t think anyone’s crying a river over the fact that the goofy short where his reflection keeps saying “Hey Fat”, over and over while he struggles with his weight isn’t on Disney Plus and thankfully never will be. But seriously get rid of the “Beach Picnic”. It’s not a good short and you already have one batch of native american stereotypes with “Peter Pan”, I don’t think racist ants are the hill you want to die on disney.

So yeah, this time all of these are from Disney Plus, and since I watched them all at once, their in Watch order rather than chronological like last time. So with all that out of the way...

After the cut

1. Steamboat Willie (1928): It’s All Fun and Games Until Mickey Strangles an Innocent Duck Starting from the obvious source, Steamboat Willie was the start of Mickey’s career. And it’s.. okay. The animation is fantastic and the first half is pretty good: Theirs a pretty good gag with one of the cows. But the finale, with Mickey abusing various animals just isn’t that funny A LITTLE rattling of an animal for comedy is fine.. but the things Mickey does here are just sociopathic> And yes I know it was the 1920′s, but even in that lawless, racist, sexist time, they knew better than to strangle a duck, or, in the moment that puts it over the top, remove suckling pigs fromt heir mom and then play a pig’s teats like an insturment to make it squeal musically.. I assure you I did not make this up. That actually happens.  The pacing is also fairly slow at points, with some gags dragged out, though that can be chalked up to having no way to edit the damn thing, so that part I can forgive more.  What makes up for it, like I said, are some good jokes, and some gorgeous animation. Decades later and while clearly made a long time ago, it still looks vibrant and really pops even in black and white. It shows just how talented Disney was and how far the company could go with this medium.  One last thing to note is Mickey’s Early personality. While he’d retain trickster aspects at times, here he bounces between the loveable jolly mouse we’d come to know for the rest of his career who sometimes has a wild streak.. and a total asshole who strangles a duck. It’s just intresting to see such a diffrent side of him,  most of which would end up going to Donald over time. Overall the short is decent, not the best of Disney’s catalogue but worth a watch for the historical significance despite it’s shortcomings, pun unintended. 

2. Thru the Mirror (1936): That Was a Weird One This was easily my favorite of the bunch and as of now, my favorite Mickey Mouse Theatrical Short. Part of it is that it’s entirely bonkers; The film STARTS with Mickey , sound asleep, some how astral projecting as his soul, his spirit or whatever lead shis body and having been reading Alice Thorugh the Looking Glass, goes into a mirror world. But instead of encountring evil goatee mickey, he encounters a bunch of living objects and a bunch of fun set pieces for jokes ensue. He dances with playing cards, fights an army of them, has a sword fight with the king after dancing with the queen which.. no Mickey, bad mickey, your in a relationship and so is she. Bad Mouse bad. It is entirely fucking insane, even including a living nut cracker which.. words can’t.. look

They.. they had to know how this looked right? did the director have a ball busting fetish? I mean okay if he did, nothing wrong with that, but maybe don’t put it in your children’s cartoon.  That being said it does eat the shells which I find creative. And that’s what really makes this one pop. The creativity. Not a single minute is boring, every minute has something intresting going on, but without throwing too muchi n your face. It’s just a wonderful short and one that like Mr. Duck Steps out, i’ll be rewatching a LOTTTT. 

3. Mickey’s Rival (1936): Mortimer: The Original Bro From the same year we have disappointment. Having grown up with the disney classic House of Mouse, I was a huge fan of Mortimer. So when I first saw this, I was happy to see where he came from.. then justifably blocked it out of my mind till this review. While I love mortimer, I love Mickey having a sleazy rival and one diffrent than Pete who has different goals and tactics than the big guy. But his debut just has him as an obnoxious snickering bro.. which to be fair is who he is, but without the venre of charm his later version would have.  Mortimer just spends the short being a pranking douche, and blatantly hitting on Minnie in front of Mickey while their on a date. Which even in an open relationship is a no no, so he has no leg to stand on.. metaphorically. He also walks weird in this one because, and this is true, he’s carying 9 volt batteries in his pants. Yes really. That’s the level of Douche we’re dealing with. Someone so up their own ass they carry batteries int heir pocket instead of money or a mask or children’s trading cards like a normal person or a me.  What makes it frustrating is Minnie just swoons over the guy. And not like “Awww he’s so funny”, I mean romantically then has the gaul to say “your just jealous” when Mickey is understandably fuming over the jackass who swooped in, pranked him, is hitting on his girlfriend in front of him by teasing a bull, and in general is just the worst. Yes.. yes he is. Justifably. Jealousy is an ugly emotion but there’s a line between some dude bro like Mortimer getting mad your friends with someone you could be in a relationship with, boy, girl, neither, both, whatever your into, and Mickey getting mad his girlfriend is chuckling all over her ex who agian, crashed their date and treated him like garbage and is very transparently hitting on her in the middle of it.  It’s also just not a very funny short, outside of the bit pictured and tha’ts more for the sheer aburdity of Mortimer elctifying his pant for a really dumb gag about stealing people’s pants button. He’s very lucky we didn’t see Mickey’s Epic Mickey is what i’m saying. But given he’s a frat bro, the 1930′s version granted but a bro nonetheless,  he’d probably find that hilarious until he noticed the sheer size and scope.  Overall a forgetable, frustrating short. The one bright spot is mickey and mortimer’s cars which have faces and stuff and look neat.. otherwise it was just a waste of my time and the only good thing it did was bringing Mortimer into our lives. And that ain’t nothing. 

4. Mickey Down Under (1948): ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

This is a quick one.. because this one was a vacum. I mean I can at least say for Mickey’s Rival it’s interesting.. i’ts not good but it’s interesting. this is just.. Mickey farts around with a boomerang with his dog and then pisses off an ostrich. There’s not really a lot of consequence or intrest is what i’m saying. I can’t even find a good opening to make a letterkenny joke. No one got close to fucking an ostrich here. It’s telling by the fact theirs no gif’s of this one that no one cares and it baffles me this is one of the ones Disney chose to gussy up for D+ release. But still no donald messing around with a robot? 

5. The Band Concert (1935): That’s More Like It.  Okay scooting back a year we have the band concert. This is my third time watching this one and it’s a delight. Like the last one I don’t have a ton to say.. but it’s more because this one is just so good rather than because it wasted my time. It’s got a fun concept and the breakout performance from my boy donald duck as he constantly fucks with the band’s performance by either getting in their faces or hilariously pulling Flute’s out of thin heir. I miss that gimmick for donald, his love of pulling objects out of the either via magic and shenanigans. They should bring it back. Also his shenanigans remind me of opus and that’s never a bad thing. 

Also Horace takes off his shirt. For the Ladies. A Classic for good reason. 

6. On Ice (1935): Donald is a Bastard Man Another great one from the same year. This time around we have what i’ve come to call a Mickey and the Gang Messaround. This is back when Donald and Goofy were supporting characters, so generally each of the big three do something, usually coming together for the climax.  In this case Mickey tries to help Minnie with her skating, with him adorably following her around with a pillow before showing off for her, just really sweet stuff. Goofy’s bit is hilariously dumb, as fitting my boy, as he feeds fish tobaco to get them to spit into a spitoon, and tries to club them, with predictable results. While not the most enivrionmentally friendly just the sheer oddness, the fact it sort of works minus him actually clubbing them, and one of hte fish smacking him in the face all make it work.  The only bit that reallyd osen’t is Donald and pluto... it was present a bit before but here illustrates why I really dread Pluto based shorts. While I don’t hate the dog, he’s a dog I love dogs, most of the gags in his old shorts, and even up to mouseworks are him either being blamed for shit that’s not his fault, a pet peve of mine, or being tourtured in some way...

But dosen’t work at all now. He puts the poor dog on skates and then laughs at him and even sings a song mocking the poor dog, before justifably nearly ending up going over a watterfall, then ending up clubbed in the head. Good. I love donald but good god is he unsympathetic here.. and for some reason they teamed the two up again for more shorts! Why. It’s why I don’t get why Pluto was the star of his own shorts: if this is all they had.. why do it? Was the 30′s, 40′s and 50′s equilvent of a micheal bay audience really that into dog abuse?  So yeah otherwise a good short but that segment drags it down. not Donald’s best work. 

7. Clock Cleaners(1937): This is a Great One Not much to say on this one. It’s pretty good, has some fun set pieces, and some great jokes from all three characters. Mickey deals with a seagull, donald effs with a main spring and Goofy fights some statues. All good clean fun. My lack of brevity is more because I don’t have any jokes rather than this genuinely being bad. It’s pretty good. 

8.. Mickey and the Seal(1948): More Pluto Torture Porn! 

This one’s more of a mixed bag. On the one hand, it is really cute, as a young seal ends up going home with mickey after he visits the zoo to feed them fish. On the other hand.. it’s mostly Pluto chasing after the seal, Mickey being kind of a dick to pluto and not getting he clearly saw SOMETHING in his house, and then teasing him at the end despite him having been right. That being said the ending, with the seal brining back all it’s buddies to mickey’s house, is fricking amazing. ALso the seals in this unvierse who aren’t antrho can speak. That.. that raises a lot of questions I don’t think disney can answer. 

9. Ye Olden Days (1933): Jaunty Dueling Music Now this.. this was a fun one. Mickey and Minnie head to Medivil times, proving that the current shorts tendency to jaunt to various settings isn’t a new thing, and it’ sjust a much of a fun change up here as it was there. Mickey, a wondering minstral, ends up trying to rescue Minnie after her father throws her in a dungeon for not wanting to marry Prince Dippy Dog, who hopes she can learn to love him. I can’t tell if he’s genuine or a dick here. But it’s fun, especially the part where, after Minnie declares she loves mickey which.. it’s been a few hours slow down, they decide on a duel and thus sing some ragtime, 1930′s getting ready for duel music that’s just catchy. if X Of Swords ever gets a movie, I want to use this song. Just.. really good stuff. A fun short with some great gag,s a great concept, and my boy goofy as the villian. What’s not to like? Alright one more. 

10. MIckey’s BIrthday Party (1942): Big Chicken Breasts We end on another all together now, Mickey and the Gang Messaround that was a great note to end on. I did watch another short, Pluto’s Birthday party.. but it was both more of a Pluto short and more Pluto torture nonsense, so yeah, skipping that one, as I ended up one short of my 12 goal because I can’t count, apparently. So Mickey gets 10, but this one’s a good note to go out on. 

Minnie throws a suprise party for mickey which almost turns into a live sex celebration as Mickey clearly is a wee bit horny going in. But it turns into a fun dance party, with Donald throwing out razzes like a good buddy, Goofy making a cake, and some fun gags with a piano they all bought him. It’s a really good short. That’s the problem with Mickey Shorts and doing all D+ ones: There just isn’t the weirdly offensive stuff to talk about there is. He’s not a bad character, but there’s a reason in every short that features all three, Donald and Goofy easily outshine him. Mickey’s not a bad character, but when not in trickster mode, there just isn’t a lot for him to do. It’s why the comics reinvented him, much like they did for donald, into a plucky detective/reporter who reguarly sovles crimes. He’s not bad, and as seen with Ye Olden Days and Thru the Miror, his blank slateness cna be put to good effect and house of mouse gave him more of a personality, but here he’s just the bland good guy to Donald’s loveable scmap and goofy’s loveable dumbass. It’s an issue comedy has to this day: having a lead whose just.. not as intresting as the rest of the ensemble.  There is weirdness to note, as Donald dances with Clara Cluck> That’s not the weird part, he and daisy took a while to be etched in stone. The weird parts are 1. Donald wearing a sombrero and smoking a cigar, and 2. Clara’s MASSIVE boobs.. yes really. Clara Cuck has giant breasts. Like actual boobs that sway around while she dances with donald. it’s.. bizzare. Not terrible, who doesn’t like big chicken boobs but just.. really really weird to see ina  Disney cartoon.But yeah it’s jus ta fun note to end on. 

And that was MIckey’s Birthday special. I enjoyed it even if I had less to say than I thought. If you liked this review, you can comission your own for five bucks, just hit up my pms or my discord , avaliable on request. You can check out my ohter disney reviews in the disney tab on my blog and until next time, ther’es always another rainbow. 

[hajimeow-archived]

Did I sleep on ur blog before..? I feel like I did... anyways......snznznnzzzzzz........z.z..z.zzzzzzz..z.zzzz..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..z.........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..z............zzzzzzzzzzzzz

probably! we’re gonna have to share the blog tho, i’m getting pretty tired also .. </3 /p

[heavenlybursts-blog]

James: it’s not a horrible idea —

Annika: it’s utter horse shit

Darius pouring his third cup of alcohol: coming from the horses ass itself ... incredibly meta narrative in all its composition

*cue Annika flinging herself to fight Darius for the third time today*

Nova, floating: go go go for the jugular !

James sighing and watching them go at it because he’s learned by now it’s better to let them get it out. They won’t kill each other. Not yet anyways.

Finn: zzzzZzzZzZzzZzzZ

[boomotherfucker]

haven’t written a post about this show in a while but i saw people talking about this on my dash and i felt the need to vent about this so here

i’m going to try not to use keywords so it doesn’t come up in searches because, well, people are actually enjoying this show so i don’t wanna ruin that. the show is something i wrote a big fanfic for a few years back so most people who follow me should know what i’m talking about anyway

warning you now this got long lol

so like. i saw some people on my dash talking about some big thing that happened in a recent episode. i haven’t been following this season because they pretty much completely lost me with season 15 but i reluctantly looked around for reviews anyway because fuck it why not

let me start out by saying that i didn’t like s15 because the plot was stupid and overall “message” of the show had been lost.* the nice thing about the AI twist in s6 was that it was simple. it made sense. AI based on the human brain makes sense, it’s easy to understand, and it provides an alternate, more “serious” explanation to something we had all simply accepted up until that point. the seasons following that simply dealt with the aftermath of that revelation. then, the arc after THAT had a relatively simple twist, too. two sides fighting against each other because of civil unrest--an explanation that makes sense. two sides pitted against each other for someone else’s profit--also makes sense, but is more interesting and makes us see the events that led up to this point in a different light.

s15′s twist was..............i mean, it gave us a different perspective, kind of. not really? was it even really a twist? it felt so contrived, like it was trying to say something important about the reds and blues. but.......i don’t want a self-congratulatory message about how cool the reds and blues are, or how lucky they are that they’re so awesome. like. i know they’re cool. it’s way less cool when you talk about how they’re cool instead of just showing us them being cool.

i also just didn’t feel like the character arcs were very deep. what i liked about s6-s10 was that it made us think about themes that were relatable to us. finally letting go of our past, trying to find meaning when we just keep going through the motions, finding new purposes but struggling to fulfill them. s15 almost did something that, but then backtracked because the #squad isn’t complete without the whole team, and hey, instead of actually talking about legitimate issues like being dragged into old conflicts because the gang is too used to being thrown into dangerous situations and don’t know how to settle down and live normal lives anymore, let’s just torture the one guy who pointed all this out with loneliness until he comes crawling back. sure. that sounds like character development.

and now we have this:

an overarching plot where whacky dumb shit a la s1-s5 keeps happening, but oh wait! it’s not whacky because see the thingy is an AI! except.......it’s still whacky because..........they introduced..........literal gods............into the lore..........o..........okay...............

a big emotional speech about how.......people learn from their mistakes. mistakes make us who we are. we shouldn’t change the past because the past is the past guys and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

so let’s start with #1. this has gone way past “trying too hard to be s1-s5″ territory and WAY INTO “jumping the shark” territory. i don’t know fuck about the game series lore, maybe gods and titans really do play into it, but it never fucking played into this show and i never once wanted it to! the pull of this show was the fucked up sci fi what-ifs, the outer space political drama, the character development! oh, and SPEAKING OF WHICH

okay, fine! “we grow from our mistakes” is not a bad moral to have! but it doesn’t have the fucking moral complexity of “i love this character who has been in this show for 9 fucking seasons straight and although i’ve spent all this time trying to be with her, although our relationship was actually the happiest moment of my life, although she didn’t deserve to die, maybe me holding onto her memory is causing her more pain than i realized.” 

it doesn’t have the depth or impact of “listen, i know you kind of hate me, and i’m always bossing you around, but this time i won’t. this time i’ll let you decide what you want to do. because you have been going through the motions this entire time, not able to decide anything for yourself because all the decisions were taken from you. this decision is a self-defining kind of moment and i’m giving it to you now.” or “i know you’ve pretty much accepted that you’re an incompetent idiot for the past 11 seasons and therefore don’t put any effort into anything but i actually see so much fucking potential in you and i genuinely believe in you”--WHICH THEN, MIND YOU, WAS FOLLOWED UP BY AN ARC THAT ACTUALLY DEALT WITH THIS SHIFT IN MINDSET, SO IT WASN’T JUST A PAT ON THE BACK FOR THE SAKE OF TELLING THIS CHARACTER HOW COOL HE IS

i think it’s perfectly fair to compare these seasons to the previous ones because this show is supposed to have a consistent tone and development. it’s fine if others are okay with the plot getting weird and the character stuff becoming less deep than it used to be, but that stuff was the only thing that made this show distinctive to me. that’s what made it stand out.

so yeah the plot sucks the character stuff is shallow and boring thanks for coming to my ted talk

*granted, i also didn’t like that my ship had taken a back seat to everything and my favorite characters didn’t have the spotlight anymore. i get that other characters also deserve the spotlight, but i’m not obligated to keep watching a show that doesn’t have my favorite things in it anymore. simple as that.

[newstfionline]

Tips for doing your taxes (IRS, if you’re reading, please don’t audit me)

By Dave Barry, Miami Herald, Feb. 22, 1987

Each year at this time (11:30) we present helpful tips for preparing your federal income-tax return so you can obtain the maximum possible financial benefits combined with the minimum possible prison term. As usual, we wish to caution you that these helpful tips are not necessarily accurate or true or representative of human brain wave activity. These tips are here solely for the purpose of taking up space in the newspaper, similar to editorials, and before you attempt any of these maneuvers yourself you should consult a trained accountant.

That’s what we do. We consult with our accountant, Evan, every year at tax time, and he always tells us: “Dammit, you have to keep complete financial records. These are NOT complete financial records. These are expired service warranties from various fondue sets.” Evan is constantly nitpicking like this, but we keep him as our accountant anyway because he has attractive picture books in his office that you can look at while he attempts to imagine what your actual incomes and expenses might have been if you had thought to write them down. Also, he invited us to his wedding.

But you’re not interested in my accountant’s wedding: You’re interested in seeing Sophia Loren naked. We all are! It’s perfectly normal! But first we must pay our income taxes.

This is especially important this year, because the government needs all the money it can get to combat that darned pesky federal budget deficit, which in 1987 will zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Whoops! Sorry! It’s just that the deficit has grown so large and boring that even we journalists can’t write about it without our faces crashing down onto our word processors. The same thing happens when we try to write about the tragic situation over there in the war-torn Middle Easzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Back to tax tips. By now, you should have received your 1986 tax form in the mail from the Internal Revenue Service (“Your IRS: Working to Put You in Jail”).

As in past years, my No. 1 tax-preparation tip is: NEVER USE ROUND NUMBERS FOR DEDUCTIBLE EXPENSES, BECAUSE IT WILL BE OBVIOUS YOU’RE LYING. To quote from Official IRS Information Pamphlet Number 2893-C, How to Fill Out Your Tax Forms So You Don’t Get Caught: “Taxpayers should try to make up numbers that look like they might be real, such as ‘$1,407.62,’ or even ‘$3,219.83.’” This is important, taxpayers. If you write a number like “$500,” you might just as well add: “Go ahead and audit me, scuzzballs!” This is how they got mobster Al Capone, who put down, under Business Expenses, “Cement: $100,000.” If he had put: “Cement: $100,000.79,” they probably would never have nailed him (except that he also made the common taxpayer error of listing his occupation as “mobster”).

COMMON TAXPAYER QUESTION: Well, what if you really DO have a legitimate tax-deductible expense that by sheer random chance happens to be $500?

ANSWER: You should put a little explanatory note in the margin stating: “Really! I’m not lying! On this one!”

In the unlikely event that, despite following these tax tips, you are called in for an audit, do not become needlessly alarmed. Remember: The people who work for the IRS are just human beings like yourself, with normal families and homes and kitchens where they like to put live chipmunks into their Veg-O-Matics. JUST KIDDING, IRS workers! You know how much you love to kid around! Please give me back my child!

Seriously, a tax audit is not the end of the world. All that happens is, you take your financial records to the IRS office, and they put you into a tank filled with giant stinging leeches. Many taxpayers are pleasantly surprised to find that they die within hours.

Still, it’s probably better to avoid an audit altogether by obeying the tax law to the maximum extent you can considering that neither you nor anybody else has ever actually seen it. And to help you get fired up, this year the IRS plans to produce a series of motivational TV commercials called “Taxpayers in Action,” patterned after the highly successful armed-forces recruitment commercials that show young armed-forces personnel having fun helicopter adventures and learning Valuable Career Skills, but never being shot at or getting mandatory comical haircuts or standing in the rain at 4:30 a.m. getting yelled at by angry men with no foreheads. Similarly, the “Taxpayers in Action” commercials will stress the positive side of taxpaying, showing, for example, a group of happy taxpayers dancing around and triumphantly giving each other the “high-five” handshake after successfully getting through on the convenient IRS Taxpayer Assistance Telephone Hotline in under 200 tries.

So the government has done its part, and now we taxpayers should do ours, by following the many helpful tips that have appeared in this column, thanks to all the research that I did, which caused me to drive 352,792.4 miles and eat innumerable business-related lunches.