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timextoxhajima · 5 years ago

Photo

NCT One Shot Collection

Member: Yuta

Genre: Fluff, a teaspoon of sed

Word Count: 4k

Ding

A message popped up on your laptop screen. It was one of those messages from an online dating app you had been using the past week, and you couldn't wait to delete the stupid thing off your laptop. Why, you ask? You were on a deal with a friend who was trying to get you hooked up with someone, so she helped you install the app into your laptop and she guaranteed you that you would get picked up in no time. The only problem was that you didn't want to be picked up. You were perfectly fine living alone, the peace and tranquility of being alone had become your favourite thing to look forward to at home after work. But being friends with her for 10 years, you decided that it wouldn't hurt, and she wouldn't know anything if you didn't tell her. You roll over back to your desk on your roller chair and click a cross on the popup, before rolling back to your cabinet and sorting out some files for work.

Ding

"Ugh," You groaned and shoved the files back into the cabinet, annoyed. You rolled to the desk, opening the app and looking at the notifications. Someone had left you 2 messages, the first one you had crossed away.

OS0162: Hello! I saw that you were reading a Japanese book in your profile photo. Are you Japanese, or learning?

You frown and process the information. Nobody had ever commented on your profile photo and the Japanese book.

You: I spent some years in Japan when I was younger so I can read Japanese, but I'm Korean by blood.

You hit send, muting your computer and closing the window. After clearing the cabinet, you roll back to your laptop and notice more notifications.

OS0162: Oh, sweet! I'm Japanese, but I'm in Korea now. The book you're reading is really good, and I love the plot.

You frown again, pleasantly surprised. Nobody you knew was aware that the book even existed. But you weren't so quick to buy into his words.

You: Really? What's the plot about? Have you read it?

You hit send again, trying to test his sincerity.

OS0162: I have! More than once! Yakuno travels back to his father's castle through water portals and he freaks when he finds out that Miwanaki had been taken hostage by the government. I won't spoil the ending for you, if you haven't finished the book.

You have, and that was exactly how the book went. He wasn't lying.

You: Cool, so what brings you to Korea?

Send.

OS0162: Parents' family business.

You blinked.

You: Training to become heir?

Send.

OS0162: You could say so, but I'm not the most keen on running around and making sure my henchmen do what they are supposed to do. I kind of have other plans I want to do instead of living my life because I was born into my family.

You paused to wonder and noticed his profile photo was of his back, and yours was of the crown of your head as you were reading the book. Neither of you knew how each other looked.

This is ridiculous.

You shake your head and huffed, shutting off your personal laptop and using your work allocated one instead.

The sun had set and your colleagues began trailing out of the office building one by one, sometimes in two. You were one of the youngest employees, but seated in a supervisor's office. You had a heavier load than your colleagues, and though sometimes it held you back in that boring four-walled room way longer than you colleagues, you didn't mind at all. You loved your work, and nothing could ever tear you away from it, not even that dating website.

"Bye, y/n, don't go home too late," The last standing colleague of yours knocked on your opened office door, her bag in hand.

"I'll see you tomorrow," You smiled at her and waved.

You pushed your hair backwards, leaning forward and saving your work on your work laptop. Closing it, you looked over to your own personal laptop and saw the sticker of Yakuno, the character from the Japanese book, pasted on the back of it. You had spent the first decade of your life in Japan, and your best friend had gifted you that book, the same physical book you were holding in your profile photo you used on the dating website. Your best friend had specially printed a whole sheet of stickers of characters and objects from the book to gift to you before you had left Japan. It was the most heartbreaking thing you could remember from your childhood, because you never saw that person again. The one and only person whom you had diligently remembered every likes and dislikes, even till this day, and yet contact was never kept. It had been more than 10 years, and it hurt you to realise that your best friend probably couldn't even remember how you looked like.

You pushed open the door to your penthouse, the built-in home system turned on jazz, lo-fi music.You pulled off your blazer and your hair tie, making your way into your bathroom and turning on the tap, filling up your bathtub. It had been a long week, and you needed this. You grabbed your phone and sealed it in a small waterproof bag, just in case you drop it in your own bathtub.

Ding. 7 unread messages from Kandlelite

You roll your eyes, annoyed that your laptop and phone were so perfectly in sync that whatever happened on your personal laptop happened on your phone too.

OS0162: Hey, uh... I'm in Korea for two weeks

OS0162: Do you wna hang?

OS0162: I kinda need help with orienting myself around in Korea

OS0162: Especially in Seoul

OS0162: And Busan

OS0162: It's alright if you don't and you're busy though

OS0162: I understand

You couldn't believe it. That flitting thought sped past your mind, thinking of agreeing and actually meeting up with someone you've spent a day talking to.

"Don't be an idiot, how good of a relationship can it be if it was started online?" You locked your phone and lifted your elbow onto the edge of the bathtub, rubbing your temples with your fingers. You were slowly slipping into some kind of peace and sleepiness, before the sound of your doorbell woke you up.

"Jesus Christ, it's Friday night..." You groaned, leaning your head backwards and refusing to get out of the bathtub. The doorbell rang again. You growled and got out of the bathtub, wrapping a baby blue silk robe around yourself, pulling all of your hair to one side and making sure you look the most presentable you could be with wet hair and a robe. You looked at the intercom camera fitted onto the wall near the door, noticing that it was a male right outside, his body language looking confused and anxious. His face was covered and shadowed by his hoodie, so you couldn’t tell who it was. You frown to yourself, pressing the voice button and leaning towards the device.

"Can I help you?"

"Erm yeah... does anybody by the name of y/n live here?"

You frown more. "That's me, who am I speaking to?"

"Open the door and you'll find out," The man replied, almost like a child playing hide and seek. You pull away from the device and fold your arms. If today was the day you were supposed to die, you wouldn't be able to change it anyway. Who was to say that you were not going to be brutally murdered in your own home on a Friday night, right? You took in a deep breath and wrapped your slightly wrinkled fingers around the door handle, pulling it open with some force given the weight of the door.

You would have never forgotten those eyes even if you had dementia, or a billion things on your mind. It was Nakamoto Yuta, your best friend from your childhood.

"Hi y/n," He grinned. His teeth might've gotten larger and looked different, but the shape of his lips when he smiled hadn't changed. The way his eyes remained twinkling, some of his long fringe covering part of his eyes.

"Yuta?" You whisper, like you were scared someone was going to catch you for saying something illegal. He smiled again and nodded, looking at you brightly, not bothering about how you were only in a robe and uncombed hair. He had seen you in a kiddy swimsuit more than 10 years ago anyway. You slowly and messily found a way to get your hands to unlock the gate, your eyes never leaving him for a second. He was dressed in a black hoodie, jeans and sneakers.

"I... how did you find me? Why are you here? How are you here? What--" You stopped yourself, watching him let himself in and close the door behind him.

"It's been a long 13 years, y/n. I hope you're as happy to see me as I am," He said softly, watching your eyes shift in its eye sockets and observing his facial features. You warily stretched out your arms, like there were weights holding them down. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you tiptoed and hugged him.

"I'm sorry I never kept in touch. My parents always told me I'll see you again soon, until your parents decided not to come back to Osaka," Yuta had his arms around your lower back, careful not to touch anywhere inappropriate.

"No, oh my God," You pulled away, tears now in your eyes threatening to fall. "I never blamed you. There wasn't anybody I could blame even if I was really angry. I tried looking for you, but I just... I googled your name everyday in high school!" You laughed softly, sniffling and rubbing your eyes.

"Well then," He was now holding your hands between the two of you. "About how I found you... you can thank yourself for that. I found you through your company's website. Your name was so high up on the rankings, that I was so happy for you. I wanted to look for you earlier, but my parents kept me under some security system to protect me from anything the outside world could offer,"

"What? What do you mean 'protect'? Are you in any kind of danger? Your family?"

"No... I... did you ever find out why exactly you grew up in Japan then had to move back to Korea?"

"No, my parents told me it was a business trip," You turned and gently pulled him to the sofa.

"Yeah, but do you know what business trip it made them stay in Osaka for 15 years, had you born there, then came back to Korea and not return to Osaka?" Yuta was now sitting down next to you, his eyes still fixated on you.

You shook your head. It never occurred to you that the business trip and why they chose not to return to Osaka was related.

"Your parents were working with mine, and it was apparently a very dangerous business. Your parents never went back because it was under the safety protocol. They needed us separated because we were children, too big and too easy of some few targets to threaten the business with.”

You listened intently, confused. You never knew your parents were handling such a dangerous business. After you came to Korea with them, they just let you grow up like any other kid. Study hard, go to university, get a job, work to the top. Whatever your parents' lives had been in the first 12 years of your life was unknown to you. They covered it up so well and so carefully, it never occurred to you that you could've been in any trouble.

"I only found about this a few years ago, when my father told me the business was now stable and fixed. He wanted me to start preparing to take over the business, but before I could do that at home, I needed to find the Korean half of it for a merger sequence. Your parents now live in--"

"Busan," You looked at him, ready to break out in laughter. "You're on Kandlelite. OS0162. OS for Osaka and the numbers... it’s your birthdate reversed," You laughed. Yuta was confused for a moment, before he realised what you were talking about.

"No way, you're the one I've been talking to the entire day? Man, the odds..."

"I know, right? Lord, I just... the last thing I expected on a Friday night in the middle of July is for you to show up on my doorstep after virtually talking to you the entire damn day," You sigh and lean back in the sofa, running your fingers through your damp and uncombed hair. He smiles.

"It's a really nice place you've got here,' He says after a minute of silence.

"You say it like you don't have a nicer place to stay, given what your parents are doing," You joked, nudging him on the side.

"You mean our parents. Your parents are as equally as well to do as mine, and no, I told my dad I didn't want a nice five star hotel."

"What? Then where are you staying? For two weeks, right?" You sat up straight again, giving him the same look you always gave him when he took something of yours and hid it somewhere when you were younger.

"I'm staying at a loft that's more traditional Korean," Yuta nodded. "Just about 20 minutes away from your place,"

"20 minutes? That's great. You can check out now and stay here! I'll bring you around Seoul and Busan for the next two weeks," You got off the sofa and stood up, excited.

"You really didn't change much, y/n. Still the same girl I knew back in Osaka," Yuta blinked at her, then looked away and around. "Are you sure though? Don't you have work? I can't just suddenly crash your place like this,"

"Oh, come on! I can apply for leave until you're done with Korea. And yes, I have more than one bedroom, tons of space and even if I didn't, I would definitely make time for you. Besides, you hate staying at hotels and lofts," You raised a brow. Yuta rolled his eyes before breaking out into a large smile, nodding then agreeing to the arrangement.

It became the best two weeks of your life. It was like those 13 years was never lost and you just picked your friendship up with Yuta where you left it off. You showed him around Seoul in the first week, letting him eat all kinds of street food, visiting random tourist stores for him to pick up gifts for his family. In the second week, the two of you packed for Busan to stay with your parents for a few days. The days were filled with home cooked food by your mother and old ginseng alcohol (Insam-Ju) from your father who were both as excited to see Yuta as you were at the start of the two weeks. Yuta's schedule included visiting schools, hospitals and the poorer areas of Busan, for him to research on how he could help improve the environments through the business and what he could do to help. The business that both you and his parents had started was only dangerous because there were rival companies who wanted the ideas for themselves, with many ideas much more practical and realistic than the rival company's. Your father gave Yuta a bottle of wine that he was supposed to have with Yuta's father, but never did because of the circumstances, the same circumstances where your family was forced back to Korea due to the threats in Osaka. The last three days were spent back in Seoul, where you took him to all your favourite spots in the city. Ramen in a convenience store, a picnic by Han River, late night barbeque sessions and early morning cycling, all in 3 days. While the two weeks spanned longer than a day, it felt like it was a day, but never enough to compensate for the 13 years you had lost with him. All the times that the both of you had tough times, first relationships, first heartbreak, academic stress followed by the obligation to handle the company on Yuta's part, all done without one another and you could only imagine how easier life would've been growing up, had Yuta been with you all this time.

Your last favourite stop which was the stop you procrastinated till the end, due to how cliche it was, was the N Seoul tower. You always loved the romantic part about getting locks as a symbol of promise and eternity. While Yuta took his time admiring the view of the city at the tip of the tower, you got two locks, one for him and one for yourself, whatever promise the both of you wanted, you would write on a sticker and paste it on or write it on the lock itself with a marker.

Yuta wrote his in Japanese, while yours in Korean. You eyed his features from his side profile, marveling for the last 2 weeks how well he grew up to be. He was such a handsome man, with such a bright future and with one of the kindest hearts you knew, not just because he was your best friend. You turned back to your lock, and thought carefully before printing it down in ink.

To Yuta whom I came with, I wish you happiness and love in the years to come. In success and in health, our friendship will never be replaceable. Not even if I get married. I love you with all my heart, I always have.

"I'm done," Yuta smiled at you, capping on his marker and looking at his blue lock like it was a pet. You smile back, looking around the fence for a space to lock them.

That night, the two of you decided to stay in and watch the movie that bonded the both of you: Yakuno's Fairytale. At the end of it, the both of you took deep breaths in synchronization, exhaling at the same rate and feeling some kind of peace, but at the same time, loss, knowing that he was leaving the next morning.

"You know, y/n, this was the best 2 weeks I've had in a long long time. Seeing your parents again after so long made me realise how close I was to your family before, I really wish you could see mine," Yuta looked at you, then looked at his fingers, peeling small bits of skin off the edges.

"You know I'd love to, but I have to stay and work unless it's during some official office break. I was lucky enough they let me off these two weeks," You sighed, leaning back on the pillows and watching him.

"I know, y/n, I know... I just wish the last 13 years I spent alone could have been with you. When my dad told me about the company when I was 21, I freaked, you know. I was... angry and upset because their choice, and your parents' choice, had caused us to be separated. If our parents hadn't chosen to stay in that business, we would have never been separated so... abruptly. It sucked to have realised that they told us we'll be seeing each other again soon just to get us to leave one another... only to wait 13 years,"

"Yeah, but if they didn't take it up, both of us wouldn't have been so well off," You rested your head in your palm, your elbow perched on the top of the sofa.

"I just... 13 years lost, when it could have been with you," He looked at you, his eyes glistening and his eyebrows slightly furrowed near the center of his forehead.

You watched him watch you, almost able to see your reflection in his. You chuckled to break the silence, shifting a little and pulling your legs in to yourself.

"What are you going on about now, Nakamoto?" You mumbled under your breath, your heart racing and suddenly unable to look at him in the eye.

You thought you were the only one.

"Remember when we were 10, we got lost at the Tenjin festival in Osaka together? When we were both scared, but for some God forsaken reason, I was more of a wuss than you were... and you took care of me, though I'm older than you?"

"Yeah, but you were like 2 inches shorter than me, it was easy to feel like you were the one needing protection," You snickered, eyeing him from the corner of your eyes.

"But now you're like 6 inches shorter than me," Yuta laughed widely. "Anyway, point is, y/n, 13 years was hard to get through, because as hard as I tried to forget about you, to move onto someone else, romantically, you were always at the back of my head, telling me that I was going to meet you soon, and that we were never meant to be separated."

You went quiet again, ecstatic, yet afraid of what he was going to say next.

"y/n? Hey," Yuta shifted closer and looked at you intently. You didn't even realise that tears had formed in your eyes and your nose turned sour, your line of vision blur and Yuta's face was soft around the edges, instead of his defined features. "Hey, don't cry, please don't cry," Yuta wrapped his arms around you, quietly hushing you and you buried your face in his neck.

"I missed you, so much. When I was in college, I thought I'd never see you again. I couldn't blame anybody, not my parents or yours because they did what they had to do for our sake, and it hurt, not being able to blame anybody," You croaked, the back of your throat tasting bitter. Yuta hummed in response, gently stroking the crown of your head.

"But it's alright now, isn't it? We've found each other again and..." He pulled away and cupped your face. "I believe we both never lost our feelings for one another."

He said it. The truth that you had buried deep down in your heart for a long time, for more than 13 years, had finally been put out there.

"I thought... I thought I was on my own... I thought you didn't know," You whispered. Yuta pressed his forehead against yours, reaching down to hold your hands.

"No, it wasn't just you. But I thought I was on my own too."

You laugh. Fate was such a dumb idea. Separating you two when you were the best of friends, and more than a decade later, reunite the both of you, only to reveal the truth that both of you had kept to yourselves over the years.

"I wish you could stay," You hugged Yuta's waist, feeling a kiss on the top of your head.

"I wish you could come," You heard him say into your ear.

"I promise I'll visit Osaka soon," You reply. He hummed, stepping back and grabbing his luggage.

"I will see you soon, I promise," Yuta says, moving away with his luggage. You nodded, waving to him.

Yuta walked into the departure hall, remembering every single moment he had with you in the last 14 days. He had wished you were there the last 13 years, and he could never tell you all the hard times he had been through. Just as he caught the last glimpse of you, he remembered what he wrote on the lock, and promised himself never to break it.

To y/n who taught me what love and friendship was, you are irreplaceable and nothing in the world could keep me away from you. When I'm done with the important things I have to do in Osaka, I will return for you, and for you only. I loved you for as long as I can remember, and it will stay like this. I promise.

#timetohajima #yuta #yuta fanfic #yuta imagine #yuta one shot #nct yuta #nct one shot #nct imagine #nct scenario #fluff

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

Text

1129

[created by: youvebeensurved - LiveJournal]

How often do you get fountain drinks from a gas station? I’ve actually never tried getting a drink from one of those fountains. I find them nasty, and the fact that gas stations aren’t the most hygienic of places certainly doesn’t help their case.

If you get online and look at graphics, what website(s) do you go to? I never find myself looking for graphics. The closest thing I search are vector icons, and for those I have an extension on Chrome that lets me look for icons to place on slides and such.

Who would you say your favorite celebrity is? At the moment it would be Rosamund Pike, but my all-time favorite would be Beyoncé.

Have you ever slept in your car? If so, explain. Sure, mostly when I took naps in between classes. There were also a few times I had late nights out and didn’t have a place to crash at, so I’d sleep in the car for the night before heading home in the morning.

If you were forced to murder one of your parents, which one would it be? This is a horrible question.

What song are you currently obsessed with? Find Me Here - Hayley Williams.

Explain your last run in with the police: Never happened.

Who was the last friend you hung out with, and what did you guys do? In terms of a physical get-together, I was with Angela, Hans, Pia, Kyelle, Al, Gab, and Sam and we had dinner and drinks at this gastropub that announced its impending permanent closure by the end of February. Virtually, I hung out with Andi, Peter, Carmel, Rita, Robin, Mik, and Elis to have a Jeopardy game night over Zoom.

What time do you usually go to bed and wake up? On weekdays I try to turn in anywhere between 9–11 PM and wake up by 6:30. On weekends, I try to stay up until midnight at the earliest, but I’m trying to make it a habit to stay up until like 2–3 AM just so I can catch up on my hobbies and shows. I wake up anywhere between 5–7 AM.

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? What's stopping you? Lawyer, which is a route I seriously considered for a few years. I get extremely tense in arguments though so I doubt I’d be the best fit for that kind of career.

Do you have a friend that's in a horrible situation right now? Explain. Yeah, my college batchmate (who’s now also my co-worker) Aimee tested positive for COVID this week after being in and out of a fever over the last two weeks.

What was the last store you were in, and what did you buy? I suddenly needed plastic bags while I was packing groceries at the office the other week, so I went to the nearby convenience store to check if they had any. They didn’t, so I left without buying anything.

Who was the last person you texted, and what did this text say? I was texting some media friends to tell them some shoes we had ordered for them to try out are going to be delivered to their address within the day.

What is the reason for the last time you cried? A show I had been watching had an emotional scene.

Who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? Joanna, of course, mainly because that’s the character Audrey Hepburn plays.

What color did you last paint your nails? I can’t remember the color I chose the last time I had my nails painted 79472394348 years ago.

It's 112 degrees out today, describe your attire: A very thin tank top with airy shorts.

Do you have any friends that are currently in jail? Explain their situation. Not friends but I can think of a couple of relatives who’ve gotten ‘in conflict’ with the law. I won’t get into their cases but for both of them, it was because they got tricked by their respective abusive bosses, hence the quote marks.

Do you tend to take long or short surveys? I like taking those whose lengths are right in the middle - anywhere between 35-80 questions. Shorter ones look boring and I find the longer ones too time-consuming.

What do you currently desire? I changed my mind about La Creperie and will be going to Ramen Nagi instead since I just remembered they currently have a truffle ramen thing that’s only going to be around for a limited time, and I want to get my hands on it before they take it off the menu.

How often do you honk your horn? Depends on how stupid the people I’m driving with are on a given day.

For what reason were you last at a park? We don’t have too many parks here so there’s little opportunity to stay at one. I remember seeing one with Gab when we were at BGC a little over a year ago, but we only walked through it since it was part of the route we were taking to get to our actual destination.

What junk food can you never pass up? Salted egg chips and pizza.

If you're a girl, what is your favorite brand of feminine hygiene products? If you're a boy, what is your favorite brand of condoms? I don’t have a favorite.

Where was the last place you went on a walk to? Just around the neighborhood. I also wanted to make this morning’s route with Cooper a little longer so he could walk more, so we went to parts of the village we don’t normally reach.

How are you feeling today? I’m content :) It’s the weekend so I’m not too tense like I normally would be on weekdays. I also have plans to go out later today so I’m looking forward to that.

Do you ever make your own surveys? Never tried because I know I wouldn’t be able to come up with new and interesting questions.

How flexible are you? Not very. I can’t even reach my toes when I do stretches.

What is your favorite class? Any history elective. I also like biology, anthropology, and some aspects of political science.

What is your boyfriend's name? I don’t have one.

What is your favorite drink? Non-alcoholic, cold water. Alcoholic, Long Island Iced Tea for mixed drinks, and tequila.

Who is your best friend? Angela.

What time is it? 11:20 AM.

What is your middle name? My second name is Isabelle, but I’m not sharing my legal middle name.

What 3 websites do you visit daily? YouTube, Google Suite, and Twitter.

Where do you work? At home, haha. But under normal circumstances I’d be working in an office somewhere in Metro Manila.

What is your favorite band? Paramore.

How do you feel about abortion? Personally not a fan of the procedure for myself, but I am as pro-choice as it gets.

Do you want any kids? Very much so.

Have you ever microwaved soap? Nah, but I know what happens to it from watching YouTube videos hahaha. It’s so fun to see it gradually expand and become a pretty lil cloud.

Are there any new movies that you want to see? I Care A Lot, but I feel sooooooooo lazy about watching new movies. Idk if I’ll ever get around to it.

How many places have you lived? I’d say around five in total, including the house I currently reside in. I’ve lived in my parents’ apartment in Manila, then we briefly moved in with my dad’s parents, and then I spent most of my childhood in a duplex living with my mom’s side (and got to live in both houses), until we finally settled here when I was 10.

Do you have any health issues? Yeah, the main one I have to live with is scoliosis.

Are you texting anyone? Nope. And I don’t really text anymore, either. Most of my conversations take place on Messenger or Viber.

What do you drive? A Mitsubishi Mirage hatchback.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Sure, both male and female ones.

Are you drinking or eating anything? Nope but I am starting to feel a bit hungry.

What color is your shirt? Yellow with some grey text.

Do you drink? Like...alcohol? Sure. I have the occasional soju night.

What year do/did you graduate? I graduated high school in 2016, and college in 2020.

Do you play any sports? Table tennis, though it’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to play. I got to take it as a PE elective on my last sem, but my time with it got cut off because of COVID :(

Do you pop your fingers? Yeah, I just cracked my knuckles a few minutes ago.

What is your shoe size? I can wear a size 6 or 7.

Have you ever had a UTI? Apparently I’ve had one, but all I got from it was a persisting high fever. I didn’t actually have any difficulties or felt pain in my urinary tract, though of course I felt scared to pee during that time because I thought it would hurt lol.

What was the last thing you baked? Cookies. A lifetime ago, since I don’t normally bake.

When was the last time you showered? Yesterday afternoon when I was finally able to clock out of work.

Would you rather go to the dentist or the doctor? Dentist. I actually find the procedures soothing. There’s a whole lot of issues that can be unpacked when you visit doctors, so I’m kinda scared of that.

Have you ever been in love? Yes. I miss the feeling and being able to act on it, but I’m liking being with myself too.

How do you feel about public speaking? I’m ok with it for the most part. I know I can speak well and generally have a good hold of my thoughts, so I don’t mind if I have to do it unless I have to talk about something I’m greatly unfamiliar with, like insurance or economics lmao. The latter situation is the only time I’d feel unprepared or scared of public speaking.

Do you see anything green? Yeah, since we have artificial plant accents on the coffee table.

What shoes do you usually wear? Sneakers or running shoes.

Do you take any birth control? Nope.

Who is the last person you talked to? My sister; I just asked her to turn the volume down on the TV.

Are there any fast food restaurants that you refuse to eat at? Just Tokyo Tokyo. I can take or leave Burger King but for the most part I find their burgers too plain.

Do you recycle? Whenever I can, yeah.

Do you know what you want to major in in college? I wanted to take up journalism. I suppose I don’t regret it, since I ended up wanting to be in a field that’s close enough to it anyway and I don’t feel like the skills I learned went to waste.

Have you ever snuck anyone in your room? Nah, I always let my mom know if I’m letting someone over since she doesn’t knock and would find out anyway.

Who was the last person in your bed besides you? Gabie.

Have you ever been in the hospital? Other than when I was born, yeah, at least once.

What's the last movie you watched? I watched Midsommar with Nina and some cousins last Christmas lol. We unknowingly downloaded the Director’s Cut, which we found out wasn’t as good as the main version since they added cheesy scenes to it, which ruined the suspenseful mood of the movie.

What's your favorite fruit? Avocado.

What do your bathroom walls look like? The bottom half has coral-ish tiles, while the top half is just a plain white wall. In the downstairs bathroom the setup is the same, but instead of coral tiles we have light blue wall tiles instead on the bottom half.

What do you spend most of your money on? At the moment, most of the money that I do take out of my account is the money I give to my parents every couple of weeks to help out with the bills. The next main thing I spend on is food, because I always have cravings I need satisfied haha.

Do you have any weird obsessions? Reading about serial killers and unsolved crimes isn’t really considered ‘weird’ anymore since a lot of other people have taken up the interest. But that’s probably the most out-there ~obsession that I have.

Do you bite your nails? I do but not obsessively.

What's the last color you dyed your hair? I’ve never tried dyeing my hair yet.

How do you feel about mustaches? Not my personal preference, but you do you.

Is there anyone that you really want to see in concert? Beyonceeeeeeeeeeeeee.

#survey #surveys

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maisstories · 6 years ago

Text

I Need Your Help

To be more precise, my girlfriend needs your help. The reason I am the one writing this text is because right now she is so depressed and discouraged that she doesn’t have the strength to believe asking for help would make a difference, and that… that terrifies me.

For those who don’t know us, I am Mai, and my girlfriend is Kari. Under different circumstances, we should have our lives all nicely sorted out, but as we are all aware, we live in the kind of dystopian world society at large likes to pretend only happens in fiction. Especially Kari. You see, I’m from Spain, and Kari is from the US. This means an entire ocean separates us (otherwise I would’ve bundled her up and brought her home, believe me).

Kari is a poor wlw who lives in a very conservative area (as in, Bible Belt conservative). She has ADHD, which went untreated most of her life, hampering her at every turn. First, because she grew up in a very conservative Catholic family and most Catholic families just Don’t Believe in Those Things. Now… well, now because she has no medical insurance and can’t afford to pay for medication. Cute, isn’t it? And that’s not even the best part. Kari has depression, that I mentioned, but this whole situation, and the hopelessness it causes her, has brought forth suicidal ideation. I don’t have the words to express just how scared I am by this. It paralyzes me. There is nothing, physically nothing I can do if they ever get the better of her.

To add to this, it has been made abundantly clear to Kari that her parents won’t help her if she becomes homeless. They didn’t want a child to begin with. A gay child? Yeah, no, forget about it.

(On a bit of a bright note, Kari has two adopted cats, which are the cutest fur balls over. They’re her closest emotional support most days, and I am very grateful for them. I can’t cuddle her or be physically there for her at all, but I can at least ask her to go cuddle them. They’re not even on the particularly scratchy side for cats).

Currently, Kari has a job, but despite taking on as many extra hours as possible, she cannot make enough money for rent. In fact, she cannot make many other basic necessities, which I will list here because they’re important, I am worried sick, and we really do need help:

-Work: Kari lost her previous job for one of those completely absurd, US-only reasons back in late October. I say absurd because any company trying to pull that shit here in Spain, and most likely anywhere in the European Union, would’ve been fined out of business. But hey, Country of Freedom and all that, isn’t it? She finally found a new job mid-November. Lower pay, though, which means it doesn’t help her cover full rent.

-Rent: As many people in the US will know, and others not from the US will have heard, rent outside of isolated areas is ridiculously expensive, especially for such a large and unpopulated country. The Wonders of Capitalism. As such, Kari is forced to pay a truly monstrous amount of money for a minuscule space to live in, one that ate up most of her previous salary and that surpasses her current one.

-Bills: Let’s not forget these. She rations. As much as she can. Electricity, water, internet… she goes for cheapest and least use, so far as to monitor her use of water during showers, but this still adds to her expenses.

-Food: Now’s where things get to a truly awful degree. When she moved to the place she lives in now (and if anyone wants the story that led to this move, please ask, because that’s an entirely other level of fucked up), she had to apply for food stamps, because she had barely no money left to feed herself and her two adopted cats after all the mandatory expenses. Food stamps people don’t look at the money you have left after bills, they just look at your income, so she was allotted $16. Useful, right? Anyway, fast forward to late October: Kari loses her job, so, obviously, one of the first things she does is contact the food stamps people to update her situation and have her allotment reevaluated. No response. Contact again. No response. This keeps going on. Mid-November, she gets a new job (still no response from the food stamps people despite the many attempts to contact them). Last Friday, her food supplies consisted of a bit of chicken, two fish fillets, and a couple eggs. I do not kid you. Today, the food stamp people finally answered her call: they won’t look into her case until, at least, December.

That’s it for the basics. As you see, it’s a wonderful situation.

Now, my role in this, as I’m sure some of you are wondering.

Let me start by saying this: I am a heavily disabled woman (nearly blind) living in an isolated area with the worst public transport system this side of the Mediterranean Sea. I am incapable of even getting out of home without assistance and someone to drive me at the moment. This means, having a job where I currently live is out of the question (I’m working on getting a job somewhere else where I’ll be able to live on my own. Sort of). My only source of income right now is my Patreon account, the earnings of which go fully to Kari because my girlfriend’s wellbeing matters to me much more than anything I could ever need for myself. I may say whatever I want about my parents’ belief that my relationship isn’t real because they don’t believe you can forge real connections through the internet (or the fact they want me to have a BOYfriend because they want grandchildren), but at least they’re so terrified I’ll break the moment I step outside on my own that they take good care of me.

Still, unfortunately, I’m only a writer, and a writer’s Patreon doesn’t make enough money to cover for such serious issues.

But Kari is the most important person in my life. I’m not exaggerating. I never thought I’d fall in love. I’ve always been the weird one out, the blind kid teachers coddled too much out of pity so other kids disliked and picked on, the one who was so odd that didn’t even fit with the weird kids in school. That happened everywhere, anywhere I went. Even in some fandom groups. It came to the point I stopped trying. It came to the point I thought once my parents died I wouldn’t have anyone. I’d stopped making plans for the future. There was no future for me.

And then I met Kari. She can make me smile with a silly gif and an obscure quote I thought no one else knew at 3am when I’m on the verge of tears because I feel trapped in my own house; she can get me excited about doing a joint cosplay in the distant future when I’d given up on cosplay years ago because I had no one who wanted to go to cons with me; she listens to my stupid history rants and even shows interest in them, when the most I’m used to getting are eye rolls and a change of topic.

Kari is the best that’s happened to me. Ever. And I want her to be happy. I want her to not have to worry about rent; I want her to be able to buy herself a chocolate bar because she feels like it without having to feel guilty for wasting the money. I want her to be able to live without the fear of being evicted every month, without having to worry about tomorrow’s meals because she ran out of food stamps and the fridge has only a can of soup left for the weekend. I want her to be able to go to the doctor when she’s sick and buy the medication she needs to get better.

But I don’t have the power to do this. Not now, not yet. So I’m asking you, everyone out there, to please help us. Help her.

And, I’m afraid, November is an awful month for Kari. Due to the late date at which she found her new job, she is missing a large chunk of rent. I’m doing everything in my power to gather money, and I ask —no, beg— you to help. Donate something, anything. Even if it is small, many small donations can make a difference.

Originally, we wanted to do a GoFundMe page with a three-month goal of 975 dollars to cover that period’s expenses (yes, guys, we’re missing about 500 this month. It’s that horrible), but every single crowdfunding website we have found works through bank accounts. Banks in the US are sharks; they tax you for not having enough income, for not having enough activity… Basically, if you’re poor in the US, you have to pay to have a bank account that will never have any money in it because the bank will eat it up. So, until we find an alternate crowdfunding site that allows to collect through paypal, we have set us several other safe forms through which you guys can donate to help Kari.

Paypal.Me: https://paypal.me/findyourwaycrafts

Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/findyourway

Kari has a crafts store, because she is a fantastic artist (and you should totally check it out), with much stuff already on it and other stuff planned to come:

Store: https://findyourway.storenvy.com/

Store Tumblr: https://findyourwaycrafts.tumblr.com/

However, these things take time to take off, and we are running out of time in November. So please, please, help us cover the remainder of Kari’s rent for this month. Even if it’s just a dollar, three, five, a purchase of a necklace. Anything. Please, help us. Help Kari keep a roof over her head this Winter.

#help #signal boost #crowdfunding #fundraising #capitalism #solidarity #homelesness #long post #lgbtqa+#adhd #disability #usa #i know this is far from my usual stuff #but this is very important to me #kari is my beloved girlfriend and I'm terrified for her #please help her

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wongxiexie · 6 years ago

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Discard

Pairing: Byun Baekhyun x Reader Genre: Angst Word Count: 2.003 words Warnings: Just a very brief mention of sex Note: The photo’s from EXO’s website.

His touch burns you.

The spot where he grips your wrist hurts not because of the pain from his tight hold, but from the mere contact of his skin on yours. The hands that used to bring you sparks and fireworks bring you now only pain and uncertainty, insecurity and dejection.

Once, there was a time when just a mention of his name sent butterflies fluttering in your stomach -- after all, Byun Baekhyun was that - giddiness, excitement, butterflies and rollercoasters. It used to be a good kind of nervous whenever you were around him, but now? Now you only know fright about what things you will need to question again because of his actions.

Is it your fault? Do you assume things? Are you needy? Are you unbearably clingy? Do you embarrass him? Are you together? Is he just being nice? Do you make his actions out to be something that they’re not?

If you start listing all your questions down, you will confidently bet your apartment, car, degree and life that you won’t be able to finish writing them within a day. Each question just elicits even more questions when you try to answer them and instead of reaching proper conclusions, you always end up with even worse uncertainty than before.

You were raised in a wonderful environment and you grew up knowing your own worth while still maintaining what you think is proper humility, but the years you spent fostering that right mindset all came crumbling down the instant he decided to play with you and your feelings.

… but wait, is he leading you on? Or did you just assume?

There go the questions again.

The sound of the party is becoming more and more like white noise the farther Baekhyun drags you away from the house. You want to stop and just scream at him in frustration but admittedly, there is a part of you that is a tiny bit hopeful about this concern he seems to be expressing.

When you are about two blocks away from the alcohol and music, he halts and you almost bump into him with how sudden he stopped walking, but luckily you get your wits enough at just the right time.

You want to talk, you really do. There are so many things you want to say to him and even more things you want to ask him about but you remain silent. It’s rare for him to pull you for a private talk when there are people around, so you don’t want to scare him away with what is sure to be a nonstop barrage of queries about where you stand with him.

You just want confirmation and affirmation, is that so difficult to give?

He turns towards you and you are surprised to see the frustration that is apparent on his face. Lithe fingers run through his hair as he paces in front of you, seemingly deep in thought about how to formulate what he wants to say.

“You…” he starts, breathless and shaking his head in disbelief. He stops walking and looks at your eyes. “Just what do you think were you doing with Chanyeol?”

A gasp escapes you and you bite you lower lip to physically prevent yourself from yelling at him.

“Me?” you say with a scoff. “What did I do with Chanyeol, huh, Baekhyun?”

You raise your brows at him, challenging him to say out loud whatever stupid thing he thinks will justifiably warrant his anger.

“You were--” he gestures his hands around, clearly irritated about the whole ordeal. His brows are furrowed and his lips look almost curled to a sneer. Heaving a disbelieving sigh, he scoffs back. “He was all over you! You were practically fucking each other back there in front of all those people!”

“We were just dancing--”

“What, you’re so desperate for a fuck that you’d just whore yourself out to any guy that--”

He feels it before he can register what you did. Next thing he knows, his head is forced to the side as his left cheek throbs in pain.

You had just slapped him, he realizes belatedly, and when he looks at you, you swear you can see that he almost wants to take his words back… Almost, because Byun Baekhyun would rather swallow glass shards than admit that he is wrong.

Hands balled into tight fists and eyes flickering in an effort to prevent tears from spilling, you are the epitome of hurt, betrayed, and belittled. Even with your attempt to not cry, a couple of stubborn tears cascade down your cheeks as you stare him down.

As much as you don’t want to admit it, in the back of your mind and in the depths of your heart, perhaps you’ve always known that he doesn’t really care much about you. But for him to actually voice out how little he thinks of you? The jealousy he’s showing might say otherwise, but you know that he’s angry solely because you embarrassed his reputation the moment you decided to go near another guy.

To an outsider, the scene might look like one straight out of a romantic movie. The two of you stand near and facing each other with the yellow glow of the lights casting a gentle glow over your forms, the moon high above and the people far away enough to leave the conversation a hushed secret only known to the two of you.

And how you wish that is true, but the fact remains that it isn’t now, and won’t be any time in the near foreseeable future.

Sniffling, you inhale deeply to try and stabilize your breathing but it seems like you aren’t having any luck with that. You open your mouth to speak but all that comes out is a soundless form of his name.

You sniffle again and meet his gaze with your own, “I don’t need to explain myself to you, but if you must know, I was only dancing with Chanyeol, who’s a really good friend by the way,” you wipe your eyes with both hands and continue, “We weren’t doing that you thought we were doing… or what you were actually doing with that girl you’re with earlier.”

Baekhyun scoffs. “That was no one. She was clinging to me the whole night so I indulged her a bit.”

“Yeah?” you say as you let out a humorless chuckle. “Indulged her a bit? As in kiss her, tell her things that would make her feel special and have sex with her as if you’re actually making love to her?”

“What the fuck are you talking about? Why are you so hung up about this anyway when you were about to do the same thing to one of my friends!”

The annoyance is clear on his face and it takes almost all of your self-restraint not to give into the urge to pull your hair in frustration.

“I told you, Chanyeol and I were just dancing!” you scream at him. “And why are you even jealous when last time I checked, we were never together, right?”

That makes him stop. You gulp and lock eyes with him, deciding to bare your emotions at last. If it’s going to end, whatever it is, you want to end it yourself and in your terms.

“When it’s just the two of us, you turn into the sweetest person,” you say with a pained smile, “It almost makes me believe like you actually feel something for me…”

“...but you never tell me anything. Whenever I try to ask you what we are, for some reason, you always evade the question.” You wipe the stray tears that drip from your eyes. “And then you go around hooking up with other women… and you don’t even try to hide or deny it…”

Closing the distance towards him, you approach him and take his hands gently in yours. “I knew how you treated women and yet I still thought I can have a relationship with you. Or is it even a relationship? I don’t know, since we never once talked about it… and I know you’re mad because you want to keep me to yourself, not because you like me, but because you’re not done playing with me yet.”

When you look at his face, your heart breaks even more upon seeing the clear discomfort painted on the features you loved so much. Seeing his desire to just flee the situation makes you want to do the same, but you decide that you need to let him know how you feel… not for his sake because who knows if he even cares, but for yours, so you can get the pain and negative emotions out of your system. You need to break it off so you can move on from him, so you can completely free yourself from him no matter how even just the thought of it already hurts.

“I won’t fool myself anymore, Baek, so just… goodbye.”

You turn around and walk away knowing full well that he won’t follow you or even try to make things right because no matter how hurtful, the truth remains that he never once cared about you, only about the idea of having one more spare notch on his belt that he can add to his brag count and play with when he gets bored.

That, you figure, is where you've done wrong.

You believed him - everything he said and everything he did, you put to heart. He always made you agree with him without being the first to suggest an arrangement. Somehow, he had the ability to make you be the one to say that you should meet up, to say that you missed him.

He made it so that you would be the first to suggest everything, but he did it in a way where you wouldn’t notice because of the excitement he gave you with his words and actions.

Manipulative. That’s what he is.

Baekhyun made you chase after him and you never suspected a thing for he was always so sweet, so thoughtful, so attentive. He was everything you wanted and more, but he made sure to always be like that with others so when the time comes when you’ll demand an explanation, it would be so easy for him to deny anything because after all, he’s like that with everyone.

But he also never said anything about a relationship. Never confirmed nor denied that there was something between you. That way, he could flirt his way with others because what then, would you say to him? He wouldn’t be cheating on you because you weren’t together, and you wouldn’t have the right to complain or be jealous because after all, he never actually told you that you were together, right?

He made it so that you would blame yourself for everything.

The worst part? He was such a good guy all throughout, that even when you got slapped with the truth - that he was nothing but a manipulative playboy - there’s a fool’s gold of a hope that has embedded itself in your heart that makes you hold onto the chance of him being a nice guy deep inside.

You’ve been trapped and even though you’ve freed yourself from him physically, you don’t know if or when your heart and mind would be free from him any time soon.

Thrown into the ocean that was him, you got sucked in and it was already too late when you realized you were already drowning. And when you tried to get out, you swim up above only to be pulled back in, deeper and deeper every time.

Today, you walk away, but tomorrow… you’ll see what will fit Baekhyun’s needs. Will he want you back again because he’s bored with his other collections, or will he finally discard you permanently because you’ve turned into one of those things that he hates - the kind that demands commitment from him?

#exo #exosnet #baekhyun #byun baekhyun #exo angst #baekhyun angst #byun baekhyun angst #exo x reader #exo x reader angst #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun x reader angst #byun baekhyun x reader #byun baekhyun x reader angst

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itsdaggerandsheath · 5 years ago

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An Introduction to Sex (Part 2)

To be quite honest with you, I don’t know when Fanfiction first really became popular or mainstream, nor do I know if it’s still those things. What I do know though was that it was a huge influence on my knowledge of sexuality as I was growing up. A good chunk of my education on sex as an… ”activity”, rather than solely a means of reproduction, came from Fanfiction.

It’s occurring to me that perhaps some people reading this may not know what Fanfiction is, so I suppose I should attempt to explain it before I really get on with the story.

Have you ever watched a TV show and really wished that your two favorite characters would just fall in love already?! With Fanfiction, you can write your own perfect story on how you picture that special moment happening, then publish it online for other people to read. Have you ever had a massive celebrity crush that you just wish would notice you? You can write a Fanfiction all about said celebrity falling for a character based on you! Anything goes with Fanfiction, really. Do you think the singer of your favorite band is into BDSM? Write a fic about them tying you up and ass-fucking you (or a character that you come up with) until the ropes make your wrists bleed. What about a disturbingly specific and detailed fic about your favorite band members squirting milk up the bottom’s asshole to clean out for anal sex (with more emphasis on the milk than the sex itself)? Yup, that exists. What about a fic involving your favorite YouTubers in which a live hamster is shoved up the sub’s asshole and the dom fills an entire hat with semen? Yes, it’s out there. (Bonus points to anyone who knows which fics I’m referring to).

While some Fanfictions are wonderfully crafted love stories full of heart and passion, others…aren’t. And hey, smut is fine, I’ve read *cough* and written *cough* plenty of it myself. But surely, you would think, that the more explicit Fanfictions wouldn’t be accessible to those under the age in which it would be appropriate to read them, right?

Wrong.

I was eleven years old.

I’d first come to discover Fanfiction through my favorite Disney television show at the time, Austin and Ally. Yes, that show that Ross Lynch was on. It was my favorite show in my tweens, and I wanted the two main characters – Austin and Ally, obviously – to end up becoming a couple so badly. My original goal was to see if maybe the writers of the show had hinted at the possibility of the two characters becoming a couple in an interview or something. So, I pulled out my phone – because my parents thought it was smart to let an eleven year old have a cellphone with full Internet access – and simply typed in, “When will Austin and Ally get together?”

I did not find an interview with the show’s writers – instead, I found chatrooms, wiki forums, and YouTube videos from young people like myself who all had the same opinions on the subject as myself. I then clicked on a link that I thought was just going to be a post on some website from someone talking about how they wanted these characters to end up together like I did, but it was actually a link to a story on Fanfiction.net that I read and finished in the same day. From then on, I was hooked.

Now, right away, I noticed that these stories had a rating system. I’m not sure if the rating system for Fanfiction.net has changed at all since it’s been years since I’ve been on there, but at the time, it was something like rated G, PG, T, and M (there might have been a T+ in between T and M, but I don’t remember). As I was eleven at the time, I stuck to the G and PG stories. Who would write rated M stories about a Disney show anyway? Oh, how naïve I was.

One day, I read the summary for a new story that sounded exciting, so I opened it up without looking at the rating or the word count. All I saw was how many people at commented, so I figured it was a popular story that a lot of people liked! Turns out, it was a 300-word one-shot (meaning, it was a single chapter) consisting of Ally naked on her knees saying “please” over and over again while Austin rubs one out and eventually comes all over her face.

I would like to issue a formal apology to Ross Lynch and Laura Marano.

Seeing as I was eleven, I was traumatized, and was extra careful from then on (for a while, at least) to always check if the story was rated M.

I was just so confused. I’d grown up being told that touching yourself was wrong, so why was there a one-shot about it on Fanfiction. And why did he do it on her face?! Such a concept had been unheard of to me at the time (because I was eleven). I was disgusted. I felt sick. I felt dirty. I felt wrong.

I felt curious.

But I was so afraid that I’d read something else strange or that I’d never known people to do sexually, I was afraid of what I’d learn, that despite my curiosity, I didn’t intentionally click on a rated M fic again until I was twelve. By this time, I’d had my first period and a few more, so I’d officially began puberty and became even more curious about sexuality. So, I began to search specifically for rated M Fanfictions because I wanted to know more about what sex was like and I was too scared to watch porn (we’ll get to that in Part 3).

What I experienced while I read these sex scenes was something new, exciting. Why did I feel a throbbing sensation in my vulva? Why was I getting a tingling sensation like I had to pee? Why was my underwear getting wet? As I continued to read more and more of this erotic Fanfiction, I read about the female characters feeling similar sensations when they were feeling “aroused” or “horny”, which were new words for me. Why did I have to learn this through Fanfiction rather than in school?

I then showed my new discovery to all my friends (of course). I remember when my entire cheerleading team had a sleepover, I’d told two of my closest friends on the team that I’d found Fanfiction with sex in it. Later that night, as the three of us lay in our sleeping bags with me in the middle, we huddled together to read the erotica on my phone. I remember them asking me things like, “How do girls come?”, “What does *insert word here* mean?” and “How does *insert sexual act here* work?”. I remember I loved telling them what I knew, like I had some fantastic, secret knowledge, and that it was my duty to share it with everyone I knew my age. So, I did. Soon all my friends were reading smutty Fanfictions.

While still in my Disney phase, I ventured into the world of gay and lesbian fics as well. I didn’t know how sexual encounters worked between those of the same sex worked, so I read them more so out of curiosity rather than in search for arousal. However, I found that they aroused me anyway. I remember the first time I read a lesbian Fanfiction wishing I was in the characters’ shoes (I hadn’t realized I was bisexual yet, but that was a decent indicator), and then I read a fic with a threesome between two men and a woman and wondered why I hadn’t read it sooner.

Why hadn’t I learned how same-sex couples have sex at all in school? Why didn’t I learn that males having sex with other males should still use condoms? Or that females having sex with other females should use dental dams? Why did I have to learn about these through Fanfiction of all things?

By age fourteen, I had graduated from Austin and Ally and Fanfiction.net, and I eventually moved into my emo phase where I ventured into the world of band fics on Wattpad (I would also like to issue a formal apology to Chris Motionless and all of Motionless in White). It was here that I learned about BDSM – and Tumblr, but we’ll talk about that in Part 3. I was reading Wattpad stories about my favorite band, Motionless in White, and I’m pretty sure in every sex scene I ever read involving a girl and one of the band members (I mostly stuck to the ones about Chris because I adore him to this day) had mentions of spanking or some other form of impact play, and bondage was also seen very often, and occasionally a ball gag here and there. A common fantasy, it would seem, among young girls from all over the world who were probably far too young to be writing out such fantasies about men in their thirties. Oh yeah, sexual Fanfiction is plenty toxic too. I was fourteen reading brutal sex scenes about men who were way older than me, and a lot of the rougher/BDSM-esque fics were written in a way that made it seem like the sub was actually being raped as opposed to consenting to what was going on.

Luckily, I saw this pretty quickly and knew that it was wrong, and I made sure to stop reading a Fanfiction if it seemed to be portraying rape in a romantic light. It’s likely that the person who wrote the Fanfiction didn’t intentionally mean to make the “sex” scene look like rape (although, having a girl scream “No, I don’t want to!” but then all of the sudden enjoying it once the guy forces himself inside of her should very obviously be seen was wrong), and they were just uneducated.

And then, by age 16, I began reading exclusively gay Fanfiction about my favorite YouTubers, Dan Howell and Phil Lester – who I will not be issuing a formal apology to because they have stated that they whole-heartedly support Fanfiction, and have even gone as far as to read Fanfiction about themselves in videos, write Fanfiction about themselves for their book, and perform a parody of a Fanfiction about them live on stage in front of thousands of people. So. Anyway. I learned a lot about butt sex. Do you think they teach you about lube in school? Nah. But I learned about it from gay YouTuber Fanfiction.

In Part 3 (which will be the last part of this series) I’ll discuss how websites like Tumblr and YouTube shaped my views on sexuality before I actually started having sex, and both the positive and negative impacts they had on me. In the meantime, have you ever read an extremely sexual Fanfiction that lowkey traumatized you? Did you get the most of your sex education from a probably-not-reliable-source like I did? Tell me your stories in the comments, or feel free to message me on Instagram @daggerandsheath

I love you all and thank you so much for reading!

- Dagger and Sheath

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jimlingss · 6 years ago

Text

Chess of Ice 2

Read the Original

Read the Final Instalment

➜ Words: 14.4k

➜ Genres: 97% Fluff, 3% Angst, Sports!AU

➜ Summary: Jeon Jungkook used to be a rising star, aka. hockey captain of— you know what? It doesn’t matter anymore because now he’s holding a broomstick in his hand, sweeping the ice and throwing stones towards a target. And it’s great. He genuinely means it. Curling is his life now and this is his family. The only problem that seems to exist is YOU. You who can’t seem to see him at all!!!!

➜ Warnings: Swearing.

➜ Notes: Finally, the sequel is here! Enjoy this fluffy mess, y’all.

You keep him going. The ice is cold beneath Jungkook’s feet. He’s never felt closer, toes on the slippery surface, heels rooted to the sheet, breath seen each time he exhales. The tips of his fingers tingle, mind tickling pleasantly. He lives and thrives on the ice, like this is the only place he’s meant to exist. But it’s not always fun and games. The atmosphere is tense and sweat drips from his hairline to his chin, doe eyes narrowed into the target at the very end. The two of them are waiting at the end of the sheet, knees bent, brooms in hand and ready. Jungkook inhales a sharp breath and looks to you for guidance, the rightful leader of the team. You’re the one who steadies his doubts. “Where should I throw? I’m thinking a guard.” You shake your head. “No, do a takeout shot.” He knows better than to second guess your strategy, so he pushes his weight forward, trailing leg extended behind him, sliding foot flat on the ice. Jungkook calculates carefully, breath halted in his throat. And with careful precision practiced over the past year, he throws the stone and releases, letting it curve on the ice. The young man rises and stands beside you as you’re shouting, “Yes! Yes! Go! Harder! Lots of line!” He watches with an intense gaze, nodding and muttering, “Yes….yes...” “Harder, Taehyung,” Yoonji gasps at him. “It’s heavy,” he pants, hands working hard. You shout at the two of them. “Where is it?!” “Top of house!” “OFF!!!” you scream at the top of your lungs, startling Jungkook and nearly causing his eardrums to explode. Immediately, Taehyung and Yoonji halt their movements, stepping back. You and Jungkook are huddled up, nearly having your cheeks pressed together as you focus your vision, squinting and watching. The stone slows and hits the opponent’s stone. As it gets knocked off the button, it collides with another of theirs, sweeping it off the house completely. Jungkook’s perfectly thrown shot stops, taking the opponent’s spot, center of the target. It’s a flawless double takeout. Cheers erupt from the stands. Namjoon and Adora are giving a standing ovation, clapping furiously over their mittens. Taehyung and Yoonji are shrieking in glee, arms in the air. Even the opponents sigh with a smile, admitting that it was a good one. Impulsively and instinctively, Jungkook pulls you in for a hug. His arms wrap around your shoulders and he pulls you close with a grin, cheering like a little kid who can’t contain his excitement in his body. You giggle, patting his back. “It’s not over yet!” From starting with nothing, the four of you have worked your way up and developed into one of the best curling teams the country has. Not just in mixed, but all across the board. All of you have been picking up championships without needing to blink. It’s proven by the sheer amount of awards, certificates, plaques and certificates that the team has won. While building teamwork and skill took time, harnessing and growing it at a gradual pace, the effort was worth it. With the Olympics emerging in the next year, Jungkook wouldn’t have it any other way. As he looks around, down at Yoonji and Taehyung, the members of the men’s team and women’s team on the bench coming to watch, the two coaches, he is relishes in the fact that this is his family now. Jungkook’s eyes stray off towards you. His gaze softens with endearment when you smile at him and he’s forced to swallow down the thick lump forming in his throat, making him speechless at how brilliant you are. “Ready?” “Always.” // It’s taken some getting used to, but Jungkook likes to think that he’s gotten the hang of things. It’s not every single day that he has to force himself onto the ice, practice until he can’t stand up anymore or work out until he feels his arms shaking. The dietary restrictions and practice schedules are a lot less strict as well, at least compared to what he was used to growing up. Though it’s not like he’s completely laid back — Namjoon and Adora would never allow such a thing. He still has to go to the gym and do full body workouts, keep in shape despite Yoonji and Taehyung always grumbling when they have to pick up any weights heavier than chip bags. But everyone knows it’s necessary. You’ve been playing all your life and it's taken a toll on your body, giving you an imbalance in your hip flexors and knees...not like he’s personally observed...you told him, of course. Anyways….wait…..what was he thinking about again? “You know,” Yoonji smacks her lips together, releasing the straw between her mouth. “You’re not half bad these days.” The corner of his mouth pulls into a smirk. “Thanks.” All four of you are walking on your way to the stadium, drinking frothy smoothies that are probably double the calorie intake, but if the coaches aren’t around, no one particularly cares. “Taehyung’s the slacker now.” “Um, excuse me? I’m standing right here.” The male in question blinks hard in shock, outright offended by the statement. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “You heard me. You’re bad.” “B-B-Bad?!” “That’s not true,” you pipe up beside Jungkook, giving a slight glare towards the female. “Okay, you’re not horrible. But if we had to rank all our skills, you’re at the bottom now.” Taehyung gasps over dramatically, hand pressing over his chest where his heart is. “What’s your rank then?” “Second best,” she scoffs out like it’s entirely obvious. “Y/N is the best. Jungkook is third. So don’t drag us down, Kim.” Jungkook grins while you sigh hopelessly. The male on the chopping block opens his mouth again, about to defend himself, but before he can say anything, he’s interrupted by a sharp— “Hey!” Yoonji doesn’t turn around. Her body jolts at the rumbling voice and she quickens her pace while the three of you stop in your spots. Jungkook’s eyes grow wide as a spitting image of Yoonji comes closer. Both you and Taehyung seem to freeze up as well, but for different reasons. The individual in question has dark hair, sleepy eyes, a baby face with chubby cheeks and clear skin, but he looks aged at the same time. The man grins, hands in his black hoodie pocket, wearing a smile that shows all his gums. “Yoonji!” “Leave me alone!” she shouts and when she realizes no one’s following her, she groans audibly and marches back with hands on her hips to ward him off. Yoonji has her smoothie at her side and she secures the duffel bag strap over her shoulder, eyes narrowing in on him. “What the hell are you doing here?” “Is that a way to greet your older brother?” “Shut it, Yoongi.” He shrugs. “I thought I’d come by to watch a game.” “You have nothing better to do?” “Precisely.” He grins again to her dismay. Jungkook is bewildered, looking between them, mind boggled. It’s like Yoonji is talking to a mirror, but this reflection of her is slightly taller and has shorter hair. As Jungkook stares, Yoonji’s duplicate looks over with a reserved smile. “Taehyung! How are you? It’s been a while.” “I...uh...I’ve been fine.” The brunette swallows hard and steps back, intimidated despite being larger in size. Yoongi turns his head and acknowledges you with a smile. You don’t speak a single word or make any changes with your blank expression, standing completely still like a stone statue. Jungkook’s taken back, lifting a brow. Your behaviour reminds him of the first time he met you. The older male’s eyes finally stray off onto Jungkook as he’s busy gazing at you. “You must be…?” “O-oh. Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook.” They shake hands. “I’m new...kind of.” “He’s been around for more than a year.” Yoonji rolls her eyes. “Are you done here?” “I’m allowed to be here, aren’t I?” “There aren’t spectators allowed during the game. Sorry. Members only. “Really? Cause I checked the website and it says differently.” There’s a pause. “...I hate you.” Yoonji spits it out, left eye twitching when her brother wears a gummy grin in victory, and she goes stomping off. “Don’t get in our way, Yoongi.” “What’s there to get in the way of?” As she disappears, Taehyung also takes the opportunity to escape and Jungkook follows suit, leaning in and dropping his voice. “That’s Yoonji’s older brother?” “Yeah, I told you about him once, remember?” Taehyung’s whispering at a low volume and he takes a glance behind his shoulder while sweating bullets. “He scares me.” Jungkook takes a glimpse as well and Yoongi’s innocently strolling and admiring the architecture of the building they were all approaching with pouty lips similar to his sister’s. “He seems friendly enough.” “He swore me out once. I thought I was going to piss myself.” “What did you do?” He shoots his teammate a skeptical look. Taehyung got on everyone’s nerves at some point with how obnoxious his personality could get sometimes. Jungkook wouldn’t be all that surprised if it was his fault for angering a Min family member. “Dumped too many creams into his coffee.” Jungkook lets out an ‘oh’ while wondering if Taehyung was sent on a coffee run at some point or how that whole ordeal would’ve even happened. “He must be on his break. He goes to school at a different place...I wonder how long he’s going to stay for.” It piques Jungkook’s curiosity and he can’t help turning towards you, the way your steps have slowed down and you’re lagging behind the rest of the team entering the stadium. Yoongi seems to quicken his pace and catches up to you. “So, everything’s been good, Y/N?” “Uh-huh.” You’re ghosting Yoongi in real life, giving him the cold shoulder and acting like your tongue’s been cut off. The conversation dies right then and there. It shouldn’t be all that shocking to Jungkook since he knows you’re reserved around strangers. But there’s something deeper in the pits of his stomach, his intuition that says it’s not so simple. He just knows that the way you’re acting is odd. But every unimportant thought is pushed aside as you all head into the rink. The opposing team is already there, decked out in their gear and practicing on the ice. Jungkook quickly recognizes them, having watched tapes and clips of other teams to assess the competition. Their seriousness and sincerity to the sport is slightly intimidating, but it also acts to fire everyone else up. “Nice to meet you.” The skip, Sujin, moves down the line and shakes each person’s hand. “We’ve heard a lot about you guys. You’re one of the most talented and young teams out there.” “It’s really nothing,” Taehyung replies sheepishly while Yoonji basks openly in the title. After introductions are done and all the coaches meet each other, Adora also confiscating Yoonji’s smoothie, the friendly match begins. It’s only a game that was arranged for fun and to practice, nothing formal like a competition. But that doesn’t mean anyone’s less competitive. “Would you like to start first?” you ask in a small voice, coming across as timid and weak. Jungkook has long recognized it’s an advantage considering most opponents tend to underestimate your abilities — Yoonji considers it the ultimate secret weapon. The captain of the other team smiles softly, falling right into the trap. “No, it’s alright. You can start first.” “Alright.” You shake hands and the team splits. Jungkook and Taehyung walk towards the middle, brushes in hand as you and Yoonji stride to the other end, the latter female preparing her first throw. Namjoon shouts a few encouragements from the bench. A few members have come out to support the mixed-team as well, including Minsik who’s drinking his herb-essence red ginger tea from his thermostat. Yoongi’s also casually leaning back, watching the whole ordeal in mild interest. Yoonji doesn’t seem to be all that bothered, but Jungkook catches you glancing at the male every so often. Still, the game continues and you discuss setting up a guard shot. Yoonji nods, getting into position without any more time to waste. The first stone is thrown and both Jungkook and Taehyung don’t sweep much. It ends up short of the house, but in the direct line of the button. The opposing team compliments her, but their own shot is nothing less of being impressive. It goes back and forth for a while. Yoonji throws the first two, Taehyung throws the two after that and then it’s Jungkook’s turn to set down the brush and head over. While you’d usually greet him with a bright smile, this time there’s a grimace gracing your features. “What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks in a hushed tone. You huddle up with him, discussing strategies while the opposing team does the same. “Nothing.” You shake your head, albeit the worried frown mars your features. “They’re really good, that’s all.” He’s surprised by your comment. The opponent team didn’t seem all that special, nothing out of the ordinary actually. He was fairly relaxed, as was Taehyung and Yoonji, but then again, it might be too early to tell. He trusts your judgment above all and stays wary. Jungkook throws his two draw shots, setting it up for you. It’s well done, but when the opposing team goes on, they do a smooth takeout on all your team’s shots, shooting both your stones out of the house in a single throw of their own. The end concludes with the opponents gaining three whole points. After fifteen minutes, another eight stones are thrown, two from each team member. It’s another loss on your end. And after that, the failure repeats. On the fourth round, Jungkook’s turn comes again and he notices how both Namjoon and Adora have gotten quiet on the bench. Yoonji’s hands are shaking in anger, looking like she’s about to snap her broom in half and Taehyung is blindly confident as usual. “I think we’re going to lose.” You frown and he can’t help agreeing with your sentiment. “They’ve been playing conservatively and then aggressively. We haven’t been defending as well as we should’ve and my last shot ends up useless.” “They’ve aced their hit and rolls,” he acknowledges and you nod. “It’s too late to change tactics now. We would need to get nine points in the next four rounds and that’s just…” “You think we should forfeit?” Jungkook reads your expression and he sighs, giving up. “Okay.” You look to him, valuing his opinion and trying not to doubt your own. “What do you think?” “No, I agree.” All the points you’ve made are valid, he can see it as clear as day now and the team morale has severely fallen. It’s not fun anymore and that defeats the purpose of the game. All four of you gather again and there’s a ripple of murmurs, the referee calling for a short break. “We’re not doing well,” Yoonji admits and rolls her shoulders, acting like everything’s recoverable. “Probably because fucking Yoongi’s here. Knew he should’ve left. He’s bad luck.” “Yeah well…” Jungkook clears his throat, knowing the news is not going to be taken well. “Y/N and I think we should forfeit.” Immediately, she scoffs and Taehyung frowns in confusion. “Wait, what? Why?” “We’re not going to win. They have nine points.” “We can catch up and get a draw.” She crosses her arms, brow quirking. “This team has never forfeited before and we’re not starting now.” “Yoonji, there’s nothing wrong with forfeiting.” You are firm, unwavering in the face of her oncoming rage. “We’re not going to score nine points. You and I both know that.” “Alright, I get this is a tight match, but we can set up a corner guard in the next end and we can direct play towards the center of the sheet,” her voice moves up a pitch, almost pleading desperately. “Jungkook could do a come around,” Taehyung suggests, but you shake your head. “They’ve mastered hit and stays. It’s just not possible for us to get nine shots in the next four ends. It’s unlikely.” “I agree,” Jungkook voices his own opinion, backing you up and showing his support. “We’ll just waste time if we keep playing. We can always do a rematch with them later after practicing more. Now we know one of their strategies, so we can be better next time.” Yoonji is at wit’s end, gritting her teeth and hissing, “We can still win.” “You’re being irrational and your pride is getting in the way,” you chide back. “Taehyung say something!” She turns to him and he’s surprisingly composed, all traces of playful Taehyung missing and replaced with someone focused and serious. “I agree with Yoonji. I don’t think we should forfeit just yet when there’s still a slight chance. If we play conservatively, then aggressively and switch back, I think we have a solid chance or at least we can get a draw.” “See? There!” “No, we’re not going to play anymore.” You are stubborn, more than the two of them. “They know we’re going to lose, so we should just do the right thing and forfeit.” The tall brunette scoffs. “Who cares about what they think?” “You two never like to forfeit.” “Why would we?!” Yoonji furrows her brows so deep that it might leave potential creases in her skin. “I want to play until the very end. If I lose, then I fucking lose, but I don’t want to give up halfway like this.” “You’re too competitive,” you scold her in a stern tone. “It’s not fun anymore and you’re acting irrationally.” She steps closer, getting in your face and childishly biting back, “You’re the one acting irrationally.” Immediately, Jungkook intervenes, physically stepping in front of you. “Hey, hey. Get back.” “Fuck you, Jeon. Don’t you dare touch me.” Taehyung steps closer as well. “You don’t have to push her.” Jungkook’s palms are lifted and he defends himself. “I didn’t.” “I am the skip.” You bring the argument back to focus, finger pointed directly to the ground. “I am the captain of this team and we're going to forfeit whether you like it or not and I’m to go over there and offer the opposing team drinks because that’s what the spirit of curling is. This isn’t a competitive sport. It’s a cooperative. Get used to it.” It’s the most domineering you’ve ever been, contrasting your usual wishy-washy personality and even Jungkook is reeling from it. But Yoonji isn’t impressed in the least bit. “Are you fucking kidding me?” She throws off her curling gloves and marches off the sheet without a moment to waste. Jungkook follows after you, showing his support as his position of third. The two others turn slightly to watch the way you shake hands with the opposing team, delivering the news of your forfeit with a hug while complimenting their skills. They shoot you and Jungkook traitorous looks, and Yoonji storms off with Taehyung following behind her. Namjoon and Adora quickly gather to see what’s going on and Yoongi’s brow quirks in interest at the obvious spat. Electricity tinges the air. The heat is enough to melt the ice. // The pair of you walk down the street on your day off, casually sharing fries out of a brown bag with grease stains coming from all corners, leftovers from having lunch together. “Have they said anything to you yet?” “No.” You sigh, stuffing your cheeks with two salty fries. “It’s been radio silence.” “I haven’t been getting any texts from Taehyung either.” Usually Jungkook would be bothered every few hours, like he has a needy girlfriend. But it’s just Taehyung who wants to hang out or play video games together, unable to handle being bored for more than a minute. This is the first time when Jungkook’s phone isn’t being blown up and he’s not sure how he feels exactly. He just misses his friend. “Has this ever happened before? How long does it usually take to blow over?” “I don't know.” You shrug. “Yoonji’s good at keeping grudges. I know Taehyung tends to forget quicker, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s telling him not to talk to us. They’re just too competitive. It’s not good for the team.” He can sense your distraught and comforts you, “They’ll get over it when they realize our teamwork is more important than any game.” “Hopefully.” You dip your hand into the bag, accidentally grazing your skin with Jungkook’s. He withdraws, swallowing hard, but you’re completely unfazed, probably not even registering it happened. You grab a fry, throwing it into your mouth and chewing. The two of you are on your way to catch a movie at the theater. It’s a peaceful Sunday afternoon and outings like this were frequent. Jungkook enjoys your company, very much so, and you enjoy his. The mere thought of that and being in your presence is enough to make his cheeks ache from smiling so hard. “Yoonji and Yoongi are really similar. I was kind of surprised.” He brings up the topic carefully, curiosity getting the better of him. Jungkook knew a lot about you — he made an effort to, but you always had surprises in store for him that would make his curiosity insatiable. Yoongi seemed to be the new topic of conversation that he wanted to know more about. “Yeah, I guess,” you brush it off, looking straight ahead. “How long have you known him for?” Jungkook cringes at the invasive question, sounding more like a jealous boyfriend, but he’s inquiring genuinely out of interest. Your odd behaviour keeps lingering on the back of his mind and he can’t shake off the strange feeling he’s got. “As long as I’ve known Yoonji.” You try to think, bringing out your hand and counting on your fingers, but the timeline gets scrambled in your head and you settle on, “years.” “Wow. So, he goes to university in a different city?” You nod. “I don’t know if he’s still in architecture or not. Yoonji doesn’t talk about him much.” “Did you two ever….” He gives up on trying to be discreet. “...go out together?” “What do you mean?” You frown, turning to him. Jungkook chews on a fry, buying time to think. “It’s just...I couldn’t help, but notice you were really quiet around him.” There’s a long silence. Your arm falls to your side. Jungkook watches you carefully and in one simple second, one blink of his eyes, heat has risen on your face and you’ve become sheepish and shy, downcasting your head to the sidewalk. “Was...I….really that obvious?” “Ummmm….not really…?” He’s clueless, not understanding. “Wait, what do you mean?” “It’s...nothing.” You sigh, continuing forward and sparing Jungkook a glance with a gentle smile. “I don’t want to bother you with my problems.” “No, it’s okay. It doesn't bother me.” The boy remains open and honest, doe eyes fluttering as he stares at you. “Unless you don’t want to tell me. That’s fine. That’s cool. I’m fine with anything as long as you’re fine with anything.” God, he’s so whipped. It’s pathetic. A soft laugh tinkles in the air between your bodies and he relishes in the sound. It’s nice and pretty — you’re nice and pretty, he mulls. The thoughts only intensify when you look at him, locking your gaze together. Jungkook can see the gears turning in your head and he sees the moment you make the decision to confide in him, that you trust him enough. “Don’t tell anyone, but I...I kind of...really...l-like Yoongi.” “Oh.” Jungkook dies inside. “You do?” Your head nods and you fiddle with your fingers, coy smile playing at your lips. “I have for a long while. It’s just a stupid, dumb crush, but I get so nervous sometimes.” You’re hopeless and it’s so entirely cute, but Jungkook can’t savour your expression or the way the words stumble off your tongue. His soul is busy leaving his body. “I’m not good with feelings and I’ve been trying to get rid of them. I don’t want to make it obvious and most of the time, I don’t even know what to say, so I end up ignoring him and pretending he doesn’t exist.” “I….see..” Jungkook is made speechless. “I know it’s bad to ignore him and be silent, but I just don’t know what to do with myself sometimes, Jungkook.” The fries are cold. It’s stale on his tongue. The salt is too strong, making it hard to swallow down. He doesn’t feel like watching a movie anymore. Instead, Jungkook kind of wants to just slowly crawl home and into bed, and curl up underneath his blanket for the rest of his life. “D-do…” He chokes. “Do you want to date him?” “I don’t know. I don’t know what I want.” There’s a difference between ignoring someone because you want the feeling to go away or pinning from afar and doing it because you’re shy. Jungkook wants to know which one it is. “It’s not like he likes me or anything. Plus, it’s weird that he’s Yoonji’s older brother.” “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind...that much.” It’s weird to be in this position, being your friend and having girl talk. Jungkook doesn’t know how to comfort you or what advice to give. It’s awkward and he feels out of his element, but he tries his best even though he’s shrivelling up internally. “Yeah...but….Yoongi would never like someone like me.” “Why not? You’re…………….awesome.” It’s an enormous understatement. You’re beautiful and passionate, and also really funny. He could spend all day staring at you and talking to you and just spending time with you even if you’re both doing nothing. Sometimes, Jungkook’s own mind is blown that he’s actually here with you and his brain breaks and he can’t get a single word out properly and he becomes an idiot in front of you. He just….thinks you’re so great. You laugh, oblivious to all these facts. “Thanks, Kook.” He scratches the back of his neck, mumbling, “I’m serious though.” Suddenly, your senses return and you quicken your walking pace. “What time is the movie again?” “It’s starting in….five minutes!” He begins speed walking, beelining past people. “We haven’t finished the fries yet.” “I’ll stuff it in my jacket, don’t worry,” he says and you turn around, throwing a grin over your shoulder. You end up walking faster than Jungkook despite having shorter legs. He struggles to keep up with you, literally and metaphorically, and as he cries inside, Jungkook realizes he can’t even confide in Taehyung. // The tension is tangible. “What the hell is going on here?” Namjoon holds his coffee, grip tight around the paper cup. While the four of you are like peas in a pod or sardines in a can, constantly bickering or joking around with one another and giving him a headache, today there is a rift in the group. Literally. Yoonji and Taehyung are standing ten meters away from you and Jungkook. No one is talking to each other. It’s silent for once. Namjoon isn’t sure if this is a miracle or absolute disaster. “Nothing’s going on,” Yoonji mutters with her crossed arms. Adora brushes past. Her feet halt for a moment and she gets a good look at the four of you before she sighs, deciding she doesn’t want to deal and she walks towards the female team. “I don’t know what’s going on, but this better not interfere with practice.” “It won’t,” Taehyung chimes. They’re being so petty, muttering, making snide comments, and all you do is sigh. While everyone agrees not to let it affect practice, it does anyhow. Teamwork takes a massive hit and coordination is severely affected. Numerous shots are missed, strategy goes out of the window and it’s no longer fun for anyone. It’s undoubtedly one of the worst practice sessions and Namjoon’s at wits end. He’s pissed enough to scrap all the plans and calls the four of you to do drills instead as punishment. In the next ten minutes, each of you have worked up a sweat. “This is all your fault,” Yoonji spits at him while she slides past on the ice. “Excuse me?” His brows lift and for once, it gets to Jungkook and he’s irritated beyond belief. “Leave her be.” You slow momentarily, murmuring to him and giving her a sharp stare. “She’s just being childish. No one can argue with her because she has to be the one who’s always right.” Taehyung gathers as well, not wanting to miss out on the showdown. “What’s going on?” Yoonji glares at him. “Don’t but in.” His jaw goes slack and he defends himself. “I’m trying to help!” Namjoon blows a whistle. The sound is shrill and earsplitting, causing everyone to wince and turn around, disrupting the game going between the women’s and men’s team briefly. Yet, he continues to pace around the rink with his arms behind his back and Adora continues the game going on, ignoring the chaos that’s going on in mixed. “What are you doing? Are we having a tea party?!” Namjoon is stern, a stark contrast to his usual bumbling and bubbly self. “Less talking! Go, go! If you have energy to argue and fight, then you have energy to do twenty more rounds!” There are groans from each person and even you don’t look impressed. Jungkook runs to the end of the sheet and gets down into position, sliding on the ice as he would in any game, but without throwing any stone. It’s stupid, but one killer workout for the thighs and legs. At the end, everyone’s too tired to say anything. Each person lurches to a different corner towards their bag. As Jungkook grabs his water bottle, he notices someone sitting right there. Yoongi is leaning forward, arms on his knees, wearing an amused expression. “Did something happen?” Jungkook knocks his bottle back, quenching his thirst and then wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He gives him a small smile, remaining civilized and friendly to the best of his abilities. “Kind of. Does Yoonji know you’re here?” “No. I snuck in. I was around the area and I thought I’d drop by and watch practice. My sister’s so involved with the sport and she never tells me anything, so it makes me curious, you know?” He leans back. “But it seems like there’s a bit of trouble in paradise.” “It’s just a stupid thing from the other day.” He nods. “Yeah, Yoonji can be stubborn. Just give her some time. She’s weak for Y/N.” Speaking of which — Jungkook hears steps behind him and when he turns, you’re staring straight at him with an impassive expression. “Are we going, Jungkook?” “Yeah.” He nods and you strut away, actively ghosting and ignoring Yoongi like you used to do to Jungkook, except it’s for an entirely different reason. An outsider would think that you hate Yoongi. Jungkook wishes that were the case, but he knows the truth and his blood runs cold, mouth dry again at the very thought. Yoongi doesn’t seem to ask any questions as if used to your ‘shy’ behaviour. “I’ll get going.” The older man stands on his feet, hands casually digging into his jacket pocket. A tiny smirk graces his features. “Before Yoonji finds out I’m here and throws another tantrum.” “Okay.” “See you around, Jungkook.” He waves and strolls out of the rink. Jungkook hates to admit it, but he’s cool. Really cool. Yoongi is nonchalant in personality and he has calm vibes like nothing can ever affect him and everything rolls off his shoulders like water. There’s a mysterious air about him that intrigues Jungkook and he’s reeling with admiration before he joins you. You’re standing with Yoongi and Taehyung, but there’s no conversation going on. The closer he approaches, the louder he can hear the bickering. “—ridiculous!” “You can’t call me ridiculous. I care about the sport, okay? I take it seriously.” Yoonji points to herself. “And as skip, you should’ve listened to my opinion and Taehyung’s. We didn’t want to stop the game.” “I’m sorry, alright? But it’s over.” You’re as exasperated as she is. “I listened to what you had to say. It’s not like I didn’t, but as the skip, I had to go with my own decision this time. It was in the best interest of our team. It’s okay to lose, Yoonji.” “It’s not.” She withdraws harshly when you try to take her arm, throwing your grip off of her. “How are we supposed to go to the Olympics if we keep losing or we keep forfeiting? How is that supposed to look for us?” “It was only once,” Jungkook adds. The female with the bob haircut sighs. “Once is enough.” “Curling is supposed to be enjoyable.” You stand your ground. “You’re not making it enjoyable anymore.” “Well not everything in life is fun. Everything requires work. You have to put effort in everything you do. Curling isn’t supposed to be enjoyable all the goddamn time!” “Fine. You know what? Let’s play it out on the ice.” Taehyung’s brow raises and the corner of his mouth tugs upwards. “A battle?” You nod. If words couldn’t be exchanged anymore then there’s only one means of deciding who’s right and who’s wrong — the one thing that the four of you can do — curling. “Fine. Have it your way” Yoonji smirks with Taehyung, the two of them cocky in their own way. “You’re on.” // The both of them are on one side versus you and Jungkook. None of you have ever played in pairs. Curling isn’t exactly a sport where two people can just play, but this is the exception to the rule. It’s not like anyone could protest that the guidelines of curling were being overlooked either. There was no one around in the small stadium this time of night. It’s private, between you four, and no one else. “Can one person really sweep?” “You’ll be fine,” you reassure Jungkook and he trusts you, moving on to ask about strategy and how you want to go about this. “I’m going to focus on guard shots,” you tell him. “We both should.” “Guard shots?” It’s a defensive play. Yoonji starts first and she’s unsurprisingly aggressive from the start. Her shots are bold and the strategy suits both their personality types. They make it to the house perfectly, right on the button where it should be. On the other hand, when it’s your turn, you throw guard shots. Jungkook doesn’t even need to sweep that much. The stone ends up short of the house, not quite making it. The throw causes Yoonji and Taehyung to smirk, already detecting your plans. “I’m not sure playing so conservatively will help you later on.” Her snide comment comes out as she passes by casually. “We’ll see about that.” The pair of them end up ahead by a lot, scoring one after another like it’s a walk in the park. They end up crowding the entire house with their stones. “Harder, Taehyung! Harder! God! Harder!” “I’m going!” He moans, breaking a sweat. “Is this hard enough for you?!” “No, you idiot! Keep going!” Jungkook’s breath hitches in his throat as their stone comes around, going over your guard shot and curving so that your side protects theirs. They automatically break out into cheers, Yoonji grinning and Taehyung throwing both arms in the air. “Fuck yeah!” “Are you sure you want to do another guard shot?” He approaches you, murmuring under his breath in worry. “We should start doing takeouts.” But you shake your head, insisting on sticking to it and to keep going. Taehyung and Yoonji end up cheering again when they go through a port, stone passing straight through the path of two narrow guards you’ve set up. But as the game progresses, Jungkook remains confident, trusting you wholeheartedly. Halfway through the game, you huddle with him. “We’re switching strategies now.” The fire ignited in your eyes is enough to make him smile. One of the things he loved most about curling was that it wasn’t dependent solely on skill or brute strength or how many hours have been practiced. It’s a game of chess on ice. It requires strategy and the mind. Brains over brawns. “Okay.” You manage a draw raise shot, hitting your guard stone straight into the house. After a switch, Jungkook takes over and does a raise takeout, hitting another guard shot that collides with Taehyung and Yoonji’s stone, sending it straight out the house. In the change of pace, Taehyung begins to focus on takeouts. But he can’t keep up when you do raise shot after raise shot, all the guard shots you had set up being hurled into the house. Their cheering severely diminishes and Jungkook notices the sweat built at their foreheads, the slight panic in their expressions. The tables have turned by a complete landslide. “Is there something wrong, Taehyung?” Jungkook smiles innocently, egging his best friend on and enjoying every second of it. “N-no….we’re doing fine.” Despite his words, he and Yoonji gather together, bickering and arguing in hushed whispers. Whether they want to acknowledge it or not, everyone knows you and Jungkook are going to win. Still, Jungkook remains concentrated. His lips are parted, tongue peeking out slightly and his muscle memory operates without him needing to think twice — he’s mastered the art of double takeouts. And indeed, as the stone glides out of his hand, thrown off onto the ice and he shouts at you to sweep, the move is flawless. His stone takes out two of theirs, bumping into each other and pushing it off. Yoonji and Taehyung’s face pales. All of their stones have been hit off except for two. “Do a peel on the one by the tee-line,” you direct him and he grins, liking your sneaky play. “Yes, ma’am.” Jungkook salutes you playfully and he does yet another takeout shot, but hard enough that his own stone rolls out too. There’s only one of theirs left on the house. “Jungkook.” You’re whispering his name softly, leaning in close to not let them hear. But from your proximity, he can count all your lashes, notices the way the cold has made the tip of your nose red and your eyes watery. He swallows hard, feeling heat rise on his face, but he frowns, forcing himself to focus on your words and not how pretty you look. “Avoid that one.” “What? Avoid it?” He could do a takeout and they’d be done for. But you shake your head, insisting on it. “Just throw the stone right through.” He gives a firm nod and follows through. Jungkook hurls the stone without looking. You sweep for about halfway before stopping and the other two are bewildered, laughing aloud. “Tripped there, Jeon?” Yoonji’s brow is lifted and she has a smug expression, a glimmer of hope appearing in the game for her. He mumbles incoherently, not saying anything explicit. They takeout your team’s stone mercilessly, but you don’t flinch and Jungkook keeps going. He hurls it blindly, completely avoiding their only stone on the house. Taehyung frowns, unable to understand what the new strategy is. “What are you doing?” “Nothing.” He shrugs. “I messed up.” But the tall brunette doesn’t buy it. The round repeats, Taehyung taking out your stone from the house while Jungkook chucks his like he’s bowling and aiming straight for the gutter. It’s kind of funny. He’s never tried so hard to fail before and the new game is making him a lot more relaxed than earlier. You don’t bother sweeping either. The heavy stone flies right past your feet and when you exchange a look with Jungkook from the other end of the sheet, the two of you nearly burst out into laughter. “You’re letting us win.” The realization hits Yoonji and she’s both shocked and appalled at once. “T-that’s not fair.” “I never said I was letting you win.” You smile at your friend. “It’s just a tactic and it seems to be working.” “That the hell tactic is this?!” “We’re trying something new out. It’s your turn, by the way.” Yet, it repeats again. This time, Jungkook screams deep in his chest as he hurls the stone as far as it can go. It hits against the backboard of the sheet, something that would probably make both Adora and Namjoon horrified, but it bounces back. It’s air hockey at this point and he falls on his butt after the force of the throw, laughing his ass off. Even Taehyung grins. But Yoonji is in distress. “Is this a joke to you?” “I don’t care who the winner is today,” you tell her bluntly. “What matters to me the most is that I have fun. That’s why I’m here doing this sport.” “I...I don’t want to play if you’re not going to take it seriously. You’re acting like this is a joke.” “This isn’t a joke to me. I care about the sport, but I care more about the experience that I have. If you don’t want to play anymore then that’s fine with me.” The last thing she wants is to forfeit when she’s so against the entire notion of it. But before she can even get in another word or tell Taehyung to stop, he takes his turn and messes up on purpose. Except, Taehyung doesn’t have the exact strength it takes to hurl forty four pounds across one hundred fifty meters and it unintentionally ends up close to the house. When there’s no more to throw, they’ve won. “Yay! We win!” Taehyung is cheering, jumping up and down and nearly slipping on the ice. But while he wears a ginormous boxy smile, Yoonji is muttering incoherently. It’s not a proper victory and she’s unsatisfied. Though none of you are able to reconvene for another argument to occur when there’s a sharp voice near the front doors— “Dear god, what are you kids doing here at this time of night?!” Adora is exasperated, clad from head to toe in pajamas with a jacket thrown haphazardly on to cover herself up. “We had a match,” Taehyung announces happily. The older woman sighs and walks off into the office. The lights flicker on and in the next three seconds, it turns off and she comes out. “I forgot my damn phone.” She stops before walking out, blank expression directed towards you four. “You guys sure have a lot of energy, don’t you? Are you that passionate about going to the Olympics that you’re practicing at this ungodly hour?” “...yeah...sure…” Yoonji is defeated, exhausted and ready to hold up the white flag. The coach’s eyes stray off to the sheet, looking at the final placement of the stones. “Who won?” “Taehyung and Yoonji did,” you say with a smile and she nods slowly. “That’s surprising.” Coach has always been an honest brute, knowing full well that you’re the best and Jungkook is also unrivaled with — the combination could beat anyone, including Yoonji and Taehyung. Before the girl with the bob haircut can protest her little comment and demand why she thinks it’s ‘surprising’, Adora lazily waves farewell. “Don’t overwork yourselves or we’re going to have trouble. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.” As the door slams shut, sound echoing throughout the place, silence overtakes it. Yoonji releases a long exhale, walking closer with pouty lips. She grabs the broom from the ground and then glances up at you. The corner of her mouth moves as she grumbles, “Well...you should help clean up…or something….” “Okay.” You grin, helping her put away the equipment. They’ve won. Yet, Jungkook is in awe at your intelligence. By giving up this victory, you’ve made an overall victory — letting them know that you had the perfect capacity to overtake them in strategy, showing them what the purpose of the sport is, and asserting your dominance as the skip while reconciling with them. They might’ve won the battle, but you’ve won the war. You’re a true genius, a strategist that goes beyond the game and to say Jungkook is impressed is an understatement. He’s yet again blown away and caught off guard by you. Now only if you were smart enough to see him... // The fight quickly blows over and is forgotten. By the next day, all of you are out together as usual, having dinner at a barbecue restaurant that Taehyung read good reviews about. It’s normal with you chatting happily, sitting beside Yoonji as he’s seated across from you. Though the conversation gets interrupted when you take off your jacket and Taehyung stares. “That sweater looks familiar.” He points out the dark hoodie that you’re wearing, slightly oversized and sleeves going past your fingertips. “Oh, it’s Jungkook’s. I borrowed it and forgot to give it back.” You look at him sheepishly, pinching the soft, cotton fabric. “Sorry.” “It’s okay. You can keep it.” “Thanks.” You grin, looking all too cozy, and then you glance around the restaurant. “I’m going to the washroom. You want to come with?” you ask the female beside you. “Nah.” Yoonji waves you off. “I already went earlier. I’m good.” You walk off by yourself and the table suddenly simmers down into silence, letting the surrounding tables create the noise, the sizzling of meat and grills heard. Yoonji is especially quiet, playing with the silver spoon on the table. Though when you’ve disappeared completely, she pipes up… “You should really step up your game, Jungkook.” “Pardon?” Yoonji drops the utensil, coming to prop her arm on the table and rest her cheek in her hand, staring at him lazily. “If you don’t make a move soon, my brother might sweep her off her feet. Not that he’s ever successfully swept up anyone on their feet, but Y/N’s a sucker for those kinds of things. She’d easily fall into his trap.” Jungkook is shocked and mortified. He leans closer, volume dropping into a whisper like he’s telling a secret. “You...know?” Taehyung smiles and chirps, “Course we know.” “We know Y/N longer than you do,” Yoonji states impassively. “It’s obvious how she feels. I’m just surprised that she told you directly. Must mean she trusts you a lot.” She leans back into the plush booth seat. “Thing is, I love my brother, but he’s an asshat. At least if you break Y/N’s heart, I can torment and torture you without feeling any remorse. It’s harder to do that to someone when they live with you during the summer and who I’ll have to see at family reunions.” “I...see…” “So step up your game, Jeon. That girl can be oblivious sometimes. Channel in your bold side!” There’s only one problem. “I don’t have a bold side.” “Then get a bold side. Aren’t the ‘hangouts’ you’re going on with her already technically dates?” “Not really….” Yoonji rolls her eyes and scoffs. “You’re going out every other day together, eating and watching movies and walking around the city. You even pay sometimes and you take her to her damn doorstep. If that’s not a date, then what is it?” The words are bitter on his tongue. “We’re...friends..” “Then call one of the outings these days a date. Tell her you don’t want to be friends anymore.” But that’s easier said than done. If Jungkook’s rejected, not only will his pride and life just crumble into ashes, but it could ruin the team atmosphere. He could ruin everything. It’s risky and he cares about curling as much as he cares about you. It’s his home now and he doesn’t want to remove himself from the team to make you feel less uncomfortable if you were to reject him. “Can I interrupt?” Taehyung raises a finger and both he and Yoonji turn. “Personally, I’m on Team Yoongi.” The girl across from him is disgusted. “Excuse me?” “Hear me out. No offense, you’re my best bud, Jungkook. And I want to support you too, but it’s just too much fun pissing Yoonji off.” “Okay, fuck you. You really think my brother would be good for Y/N?!” He shrugs. “He’s a scary dude, but he’s nice. Didn’t he pick us up from a game once and buy us hamburgers too? Also he’s really cool and he’s got this mysterious vibe going on.” Jungkook sits straighter, eyes lighting up. “Yeah! I know what you mean!” “Do you guys have a hard on for my brother?! Ugh!” She looks like she ate an entire lemon, face scrunched up in distaste, unable to understand the appeal. “Yoongi isn’t cool. An idiot is what he is. At least Jungkook knows a thing or two.” Taehyung’s palms are up in the air like he’s asking for mercy. “Listen, you can be Team Jungkook all you want, but don’t put hate on Team Yoongi.” “Fuck you,” she hisses with narrowed eyes. “Oh look at that!” Taehyung’s voice moves up two octaves and fifty decibels as you approach, like a warning siren. “Welcome back, Y/N!” You laugh, glancing at each of them as you settle down. “What’s going on?” “Oh nothing. Yoonji was just talking about how great and sweet and humble her brother is.” “No.” She sighs, dragging a hand over her face. “I was talking about how great Jungkook is.” Her arm extends diagonally over the table and she visibly struggles to compliment him, brain gears turning extra hard. “Kid’s….somewhat handsome. Right, Y/N? What do you think?” Each of them wait for your opinion, breaths held in their throats, eyes glued on your features. You smile. “I think everyone’s nice.” All of them almost facepalm themselves. // Even if you never figure out how he feels, it doesn’t change the fact that he likes your company, that he enjoys hanging out with you, that you’re quickly becoming his favourite person and best friend — a fact that would leave Taehyung sobbing. But Jungkook still likes being your buddy as painful as it can be sometimes and he doesn’t want to put that relationship at stake. So, he can’t exactly muster up courage and be less of a ‘pussy’, as Yoonji would say. He values your friendship with him too much. “What do you think of this, Kook?” You’re holding up a bright red duffel bag. “It’s your favourite colour, right? And the strap looks more durable.” He grins. “Isn’t it too bright?” “Makes you easier to spot in a crowd.” You set it down and go for the next one. “This one’s less bright.” The shade is a deep maroon, still red but more bearable on the eyes. Jungkook hums as he considers it. It’s not like he needed a new bag, but the one he had was worn out. You noticed the strap was hanging by a few threads and while he was just going to duct tape it, you dragged him to the store and he happily went if it meant spending more time with you. He catches the tag in his hand. “It’s pricey, huh?” “Guess I got expensive tastes.” You smile, but before any more can be said, the teenage clerk comes up to you two in the midst of scratching his scalp. “Hi, do you need any help?” “No, we’re okay for now. Thank you.” He nods, but before he can leave, he’s obligated to give a whole spiel — “There’s a sale on curling gloves and the new shipment of curling shoes is buy one, get one fifteen percent off.” Your brow quirks. “Actually, do you guys have any curling brushes?” “They’re right over here.” The teenager ushers you towards the back, eyes brighter at the potential commission. There are only two other customers inside the store, not a lot of traffic and even fewer sales. “Why is this one so expensive?” Jungkook slides a brush off the shelf, marveling at it from all angles. Before the clerk can say anything, you approach, fingers playing with the bristles. “It’s made from real horsehair and...the handle is fiberglass,” you say and his eyes are wide, gripping it and letting out a sound of amazement. “Usually synthetic brushes are most popular and they’re made with nylon fabric. Take a look at this one, Kook.” “It’s got a grip handle, huh?” He clutches it, finding his fingers falling in the grooves perfectly. Jungkook pretends to sweep the ground and you inspect another brush with as much concentration, staring at it an inch away from your eyes. The clerk is taken back. The pair of you are absolutely nerds about curling, knowing more than he does and he becomes lost in the conversation. You’re in your own world and he slinks away, returning back to the counter after giving one last reminder of the sales and to get him if you have any questions. Jungkook looks at the brushes and equipment with you, gaping at a set of eight curling stones that cost fifteen thousand dollars. You’re huddled down together, feeling the smooth surfaces of all the stones. He glances at you, finding you close. His eyes trace against the slope of your nose, the dip in your cupid’s bow, every lash batting as you blink. It’s a private and intimate moment, just you and him behind some shelves at the very back, huddled together. He swallows hard, resisting the urge to brush away the strand of hair that falls in front of your eyes. “So….have you always just ignored Yoongi?” “What?” You’re alarmed at the sudden topic. “Did Yoonji say something? Did he say something?!” “No, no. I’m just...curious, that’s all.” A sigh of relief releases from your lungs, muscles relaxing. “I’ve always ignored him cause I don’t know what to do with myself, Kook.” You’re frustrated with yourself and he watches the way your expression crumples into shyness and disappointment. “I get so nervous and it’s so awkward. I can’t even get a word out. I wouldn't be surprised if he hated me.” “He doesn’t hate you,” Jungkook assures without needing to think twice. “You’re….unhateable.” You smile meekly at him. “Thanks.” “You should...talk to him.” He doesn’t know what he’s saying. Jungkook is pushing his own feelings away and approaching it from a friend standpoint, what he would tell Taehyung too if he felt this way. You consider Jungkook a friend and he owes it to you to honour that and not hold you back. “Talk to him?” He nods and looks away, standing and rifling through the tracksuit jackets and sweatpants rack and keeping himself preoccupied. “Even if it’s just a few words. You don’t know if he hates you till you talk to him, right? Talking is a good start. Being friends is a good start.” “What would we even talk about?” “The weather or...curling...or Yoonji.” The boy smiles, bunny teeth on display, trying his best to be genuine and give you gentle encouragements. “That’s one thing you have in common.” A shy smile graces your features and you twiddle with your fingers. “I’ll...think about it.” He wants to cheer you on, or at least he should — so he’ll do it, even if he has to grit his teeth. You agree to consider the idea, and yet, the opportunity comes too swiftly that it rubs salts all over Jungkook’s fresh wounds. By the next practice session, Yoongi’s strolling in with his sister, bothering her and interested in watching how practice goes. He can see the way you brace yourself, inhaling deep breaths and internally psyching yourself up. When you glance at him for support, Jungkook nods and pushes you forward to talk to him. Taehyung is still changing with the other team members, Namjoon and Adora are in their office and Yoonji has moved to set up equipment. There’s no better time than now, so you approach Yoongi slowly as he sits himself on the bench. “Hey…” “Hey, chipmunk.” The nickname comes from nowhere and Yoongi immediately pockets his phone, giving you full attention when you’ve finally talked to him. No sooner are the pair of you laughing with one another. Jungkook knew you could do it. He watches from afar, not noticing that Yoonji’s walked over beside him. She’s observing as well, but without softened eyes and with crossed arms and an unimpressed look on her face. “You’re an idiot, you know that?” His voice comes out weaker than he intends. “I know….” The dark-haired boy looks away and towards his teammate. “I don’t want to be selfish. I was thinking about it and...I don’t want to fight for her. I want her to choose me.” A sad expression comes across his face and Yoonji grows quiet, looking off to nowhere in particular and when she breaks the silence, her voice is unusually soft. “Y/N’s cruel. You know you’re practically dating her already? You’re basically doing boyfriend things for her, but it isn’t official.” “No. We’re friends. And it’s not her fault for not liking me like that.” The corners of his mouth tug, hopeless and yet having reached acceptance. “She doesn't owe me anything for her friendship.” “You’re an idiot...but you’re a good guy, Jungkook.” Yoonji strolls off on the ice, mumbling about his kind personality and how she’s definitely on Team Jungkook now and Taehyung can suck it. // Jungkook wants to be put out of his misery. It’s unfortunate that the piece of advice he offers you open the entire flood gates. He knows you don’t want to bother him with your issues, you’re even apprehensive and careful, but there’s no one else to talk to. No one else you have. So, you end up consulting Jungkook for help. Not that he minds—……………...who is he kidding? You’re killing him over and over again. Having a crush on you is unbearable. He would’ve rather gotten a crush on Taehyung since at least that guy is a lot simpler to deal with and at worst, he’s only annoying. “I can’t ask Yoonji,” you grieve, sitting on his floor and leaning on the couch. “It’s her older brother and she’s not good at this sort of thing.” “I get that. She’s...brutally honest sometimes that it’s not very encouraging.” You bob your head with a pout, glad that he understands. “And Taehyung would just tease me and make it super obvious.” That only leaves him left. He’s happy that you trust him so much. But goddamn is it excruciating sometimes. You gush over Yoongi and every little thing that he does. “He’s so cute, Jungkook,” you say as you’ve looped your arm around Jungkook’s, leaning on him as you walk down the street like a couple. It doesn’t mean anything. You’re just naturally affectionate. But when he holds your hand so you don’t get lost in the crowd, the only thing you can say is, “I got his phone number and we texted back and forth for about an hour. It turns out he really likes music.” “That’s nice.” Your love story with Yoongi is unraveling right in front of his eyes. He feels like the second male lead in a drama, the one that harbours a huge crush for the female protagonist, and the one that ends up being forgotten by episode fifteen. Jungkook swore that’s not gonna be one of those guys and complain about it….but he’s human too and he ends up whining about the emotional pain internally. “I ran into him at the grocery store and he held my bags and walked me home. My mom asked about him too and said he seemed pretty nice. He was going to have dinner with us, but he already made plans with other friends.” “That’s a step forward though. It’s progress and...I-I’m glad your mom likes him.” “I know right.” You flash a ginormous smile and Jungkook realizes he can’t hate you — everything you do just makes him like you more. God. He has terrible taste in girls— No. That’s not true either. You’re amazing. It’s just that he has terrible timing. It doesn’t help that Yoonji and Taehyung are also treating him like a terminally ill patient. “Are you doing alright, Jungkook?” Taehyung speaks slowly, enunciating every syllable. It’s insulting. “Hey.” Yoonji’s hand plops onto his shoulder, oddly gentle. “Let me clean up, bud. Why don’t you go sit down?” Their sympathy doesn’t help. It does the opposite effect. And at some point, even Namjoon and Adora go easy on him during practice. Every so often, they give him these pitiful stares, using especially soft words and he doesn’t even want to ask how they know. “Oh my god, you won’t believe it!” You come to Jungkook all giddy and infectiously eager, making him excited too. “I’m going out with him!” “Really?” It’s becoming easier to smile sincerely, slowly but surely. It might take a long while for Jungkook to get rid of the feelings that he has for you, but if this is what you want, he’ll support it wholeheartedly. He wants you to be happy — even if it’s not with him. “It’s not a date or anything, he just asked me to help pick out a gift for Yoonji’s upcoming birthday and he has no idea what to get her, but oh my god, Jungkook! I wasn't prepared for this! What should I wear?!” You’re nervous, hands shaking, but also hyperactive like you’re on sugar high and ready to jump off the walls. “You’ll look fine in anything.” “What should I say?! What happens if I mess it up?!” “You won’t.” His hands secure on your shoulders, eyes locking in yours, reassuring you in a comforting voice. “You’ll be fine and if Yoongi doesn’t like you afterwards then he’s a blind man who doesn’t deserve you.” You become sheepish under his praise. “You’re so nice to me, Jungkook.” “Nah. I’m just saying how it is.” On the day of the ‘date’, Jungkook decides not to wallow by himself. He invites Taehyung over who drags Yoonji in tow; the three of them lounging on the couch together. Yoonji eats chips by the handful, digging them into her face before tearing his fridge apart, emptying it like her mouth is a vacuum while Taehyung fires up his competitive spirit huddled around the television playing video games. But as many distractions as there are and with how many friends he can surround himself with, he still can’t completely forget about you. You will always be on the back of Jungkook’s mind. “—so I wonder what it would’ve been like if I did skating instead. Sometimes I think about it.” “That’s really cute,” Yoongi notes after listening to your story and you almost combust with the way he smiles at you. “I wanted to play drums, but my parents insisted on piano, so sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened if I did that instead too. Probably wouldn’t have amounted to anything.” “We never know what could happen,” you agree. He sips on his ice americano and looks over across the street. “Oh, isn’t that a curling store?” “Yeah. You don’t see many stores that just sells curling gear.” “You want to go in and take a look? Maybe we can find something for Yoonji there.” “Sure.” The two of you walk across the street and he holds the door open for you to enter the shop. You both stroll around, browsing the selection on the shelves, but not much has changed since you’ve last been in here with Jungkook two weeks ago. But despite that fact, you find your legs moving towards the corner where the maroon duffel bag is. “Are you going to get that?” Yoongi asks, noticing the way you’re staring at it carefully. You hum. “Jungkook was looking at it last week. It’s on sale right now too. I’ll probably get it for him.” Yoongi’s sleepy eyes are introspective, thoughtful, and he comments, “You and Jungkook must be really close. You talk about him a lot.” “Do I?” You didn’t notice. “Jungkook’s just really important to me, that’s all. When he first came, I didn’t talk to him at all since I thought he didn’t take curling seriously. But I was wrong. He’s been through a lot and I feel sort of guilty for judging him so quickly. He’s really sweet and don’t tell him I said this, but I was secretly a fan of him when he played hockey. He doesn’t know.” Yoongi smiles, nodding and he walks with you to the front counter. But speaking about Jungkook….you realize you kind of miss him… // He’s not sure if he wants to know or not. If the outing with Yoongi didn’t go well, he’s not sure if he would be able to hold back his delight. He might just let a grin slip and fist pump the air without thinking twice. But if it went well, Jungkook’s not sure if he can completely hide his disappointment either. He was already dead inside and now you’d just be cooking his loins. But whatever the outcome is, he knows you’ll tell him anyways. Jungkook will have to face the music one way or another whether he likes it or not. Though he is pleasantly surprised when you call him and say you don’t want to tell him over the phone, and you even admit you kind of miss hanging out with him. It’s only been a few days since you’ve seen him, but the declaration makes him feel fuzzy inside. It’s a little pathetic. But that’s just how he is these days. “Where do you want to meet then?” “I was thinking……..” “Thinking what?” he persists, wanting to know what’s going on in your mind. “If you wanted to go rollerblading. I keep passing by this rink, but it’s under construction right now, so we can’t. Never mind. It’s dumb and stupid,” you brush off. “I wouldn’t be able to do anything there. I can’t skate anyways.” “Wait.” Jungkook pauses, letting the static on the other line fill the quiet. He can’t remember the last time he talked to someone on the phone properly and not through text — but he likes it better this way. He likes hearing your voice. “You don’t know how to skate? Like at all?” “I thought you knew.” “No. I thought you could skate at least a little.” Jungkook is shocked and he laughs. “I have to teach you. You can’t play an ice sport without knowing how to skate. That’s….an abomination!” You stutter, nervous and scared, and he relishes in the cute sounds, pressing his phone closer to his ear as a smile spreads into his face. “I-I don’t know how.” “I can teach you.” “B-but is that really okay? You...can’t.” “It’s fine. Doesn’t mean I can’t teach you.” “Are you sure?” Jungkook grins, having too much fun teasing you, “You’re not getting out of this, Y/N.” His immense hockey knowledge finally comes in handy. He knows just the place to bring you where you’ll be undisturbed and you don’t have to be embarrassed by eight year old experts doing backwards figure eights and showing off. … The arena is quiet, lights only shining on the ice, the smooth surface shimmering. The ice rink has a smooth texture, unlike the curling sheet, and instead of being narrow, its oval with plenty of space to skate freely. It has yet to be marred by blades lacing patterns made by skates. Jungkook swallows hard, the cool air tingling his cheeks pink. The air is crisper here and as he takes a deep breath, he looks around at the area for an extended moment, taking in the memories. The heavy thoughts are interrupted with steps approaching behind him. The boy turns and laughs, his trance shattered by your appearance. You pout, whining at him. “Don’t laugh!” You’re decked out from head to toe in protective gear — helmet on your head, knee pads and shin pads he’s sure is meant for volleyball and you even have wrist guards. “Don’t you know how important it is for me not to be injured? I’m a valuable member that can’t be hurt.” “I know. Our precious skip shouldn’t be injured. But you know you’re not going to be hurt learning how to skate, right? You’re not playing hockey or going snowboarding.” “You don’t know that,” you mutter in weak defense. “Come on.” He shows you to the bench where the rented skates in your size are. You sit down and he eases your foot in, starting to do up the laces. Jungkook’s fingers are nimble and quick, weaving the laces together and tugging without a moment to waste. It’s all in his muscle memory and despite feeling your intent stare, he continues to pull. “Is this too tight?” “No, it’s okay.” In the next two minutes, it’s done and he steps back. “What now?” Jungkook smiles. “You stand up.” “S-stand up? What if I fall?” “You won’t. You just walk to the ice normally. Here.” His arms are out, palms facing upwards and you hold his hands tightly. Jungkook’s grip is secure and steady, keeping you grounded and he guides you forward with encouragements pouring out. “See? It won’t be that much different on ice. Just a bit more slippery.” He shows you to the white, glossy surface. One of your hands holds his and the other grips the railing. “Jungkook! Jungkook!” “It’s okay. I’m right here.” He holds you, on the ice too without realizing it. You shuffle awkwardly forward, moving your other hand to hold onto him, trusting the boy more than the railing. He won’t tell you that he’s more unstable now and might slip with his normal shoes on the ice. “Bend your knees a bit more. That’s it. Push your weight forward. Look! You’re going.” “It kind of hurts my foot.” Immediately, he is alarmed. “Are the laces too tight?!” “No, no. It’s fine. It’s just...weird, that’s it.” “Tell me if it starts being painful. We’ll stop. But try relaxing. You’re stiff.” He reassures you with every inch that you progress forward. You slip once, but he catches you in a hug, arms around your torso and thick jacket. When you flail and fall fully, your knee guards protect you and you’re ready to give up, pouting at him. You remind him of a baby giraffe or deer learning how to walk. It makes Jungkook giggle, eyes seeming brighter with the fluorescent lights overhead, irises holding stars, and he helps you stand up. You get better slowly but surely. Though you’re still not sure how this is fun. “How do figure skaters do this?” “A lot of years of practice.” He smiles, appearing more mischievous. “You want to try twirling? Or I can throw you into the air.” “No!” “You know, I can always be your figure skater partner. We’d be a killer duo.” “No! Jungkook! Don’t throw me! Please.” He laughs, all bunny teeth and crinkled eyes exposed, tinkling sound streaming from his chest. “I’m just kidding. I won’t.” “Thank you,” you whimper and he almost bursts out laughing again. He’s supportive, holding both your hands, moving carefully backwards as you skate forward. You’re cute in your helmet and when you have that concentrated expression. “You’re doing well, you know.” “I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to be like this, Kook. I’m barely moving.” “Nah, it’s good as a start.” He squeezes your hands comfortingly. “So tell me about it. How was the date?” “It...wasn’t a date,” you mumble. “But it was good. I think. We talked and went out and looked for a present for Yoonji. Oh! Speaking of which, I have a present for you.” “For me? Is it in that huge shopping bag you were carrying? I was wondering what that was.” “I’ll give it to you later.” “You bought it on your date? What are you doing thinking about me when you’re with another guy?” Jungkook teases you, joking around with only a hint of purposeful flirting, and when you become shy, he savours your expression. “I don’t know. I just saw it and thought of you.” He smiles, all too happy that his cheeks could burst. “But you had a good date with Yoongi?” “Yeah. It was fun and you were right, I didn’t mess up.” “Are there any plans to go on another one?” “I’m not sure.” You’re skating faster than before, gliding fluidly across the ice. Your eyes glance down, realizing how cold his toes must be and how miraculous it is that he hasn’t slipped even once. It occurs to you that you’re the one holding him and not the other way around. But still, Jungkook’s hands clutch yours tightly, making you feel warm as sweat builds at your hairline. You like him very much — and even then, that remark is an enormous understatement to you. Jungkook is thoughtful and kind, and also really funny. You could spend all day talking to him or being with him, even if you’re both doing nothing. “You know, you didn't have to do this for me.” You’re aware that it must be hard for him to be out here. He hasn’t been skating since his accident or even been to an arena like this. “It’s okay.” Jungkook smiles softly, making your chest feel strangely fuzzy. “To be honest, I just wanted a reason to be with you, that’s all…” His words are spoken sincerely and your eyes widen, seeing him for the first time. His deep brown eyes are glimmering in the lights, skin glowing and features youthful yet mischievous. He stares at you with a smile and as you’re distracted looking back at him, speechless, your right foot goes over your left. For a mere moment, you forget you’re on skates and your left foot catches on the other, making your weight shift. You lose balance, tripping, and Jungkook’s caught off guard by the sudden movement. There’s a sharp gasp that rips from your lungs, an inhale that squeezes from his throat and you collide together. But Jungkook catches you before you hit the ground, reflexes quick and he rolls with you to absorb the impact. Everything is delayed. Your eyes flutter open slowly, realizing that you are indeed still alive and not hurt or aching anywhere. The world slowly comes into focus as you blink, vision registering again. The light above you should pierce your eyes, but instead there’s a shadow over you. Despite wearing a helmet and protecting your skull from any impact, Jungkook has his hand on the back of your neck, shielding you from the ice. He’s over you, bodies pressed together, a mere inch away. He’s about to ask you if you’re okay, but the words get jumbled in his mouth when he realizes he could count all your lashes from the mere proximity you are to him. His hot breath pulls from his parted lips, skimming over your warm cheeks. You stare at those reddened lips — how small and delicate they are, how the cutest and tiniest mole dots beneath them — before your pupils flick up to meet his. Except Jungkook’s eyes have strayed off elsewhere, directly on your mouth. He swallows hard, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. You don’t waste another second. No thoughts are present in your mind, purely instinct and you move upwards. Jungkook tilts his head at an angle and leans down, meeting you halfway. It’s velvet, only slightly chapped at the corners from the cold. He exhales, lips parted ever so slightly, hesitant to deepen the kiss. His half-lidded eyes drink in your pleasured expression, the slight furrow of your brows as you concentrate on kissing him back, the way your eyes are shut tight. And he closes his own lids to relish in the feeling alone. He kisses you gently, softly, but like he’s been starved for affection — eager. You’re pliant beneath him, molded against his body and it’s better than what he could’ve daydreamed about. You smell like fresh linen and gentle laundry detergent, his favourite. But what surprises Jungkook is that your lips taste like peppermint chapstick, or maybe it’s a candy cane flavour. He pushes against you harder, trying to pinpoint the exact taste, only knowing that it’s making his own mouth tingle. Unintentionally, Jungkook draws a squeak out of you, the slightest of whines and it snaps him out of it, enough to pull away. The two of you are catching your breaths, staring at each other, unable to utter a single word to one another. Speechless. Dumbfounded. Jungkook’s own mind is blank. He’s dazed, not sure what just happened. It’s surreal and he’s reeling. The little person who’s supposed to run his brain activity is instead sprinting in circles, caught on fire and screaming. ….What? It was out of nowhere and now the atmosphere is tinged with awkwardness. Jungkook has a strong urge to kiss you again, but before he can do so, he’s interrupted when you squirm beneath him, hands lightly pushing at his chest. “Y-you’re heavy, Kook.” “S-sorry.” He rolls off and directly onto the ice. It’s cold, but it still can’t bring down his body temperature. Jungkook mumbles apologies as he gets up. Every movement of his is delayed and he realizes you need help after three beats. He holds your hand, helping you stand onto your skates, still dizzy from what just happened. “It’s okay,” you reply shyly after he mumbles his tenth apology. You kissed him back. You met him halfway. You wanted it just as much as he did. “I….liked it.” Jungkook combusts. Almost. Does this mean you like him? Or was that just a friendly kiss? Like you did it on accident and spontaneously and it just marks your friendship with him?! Like ‘hey! Jungkook! You’re my best friend and we kissed once...ha..ha….’ Were friendly kisses even a thing? What WAS that?! Now Jungkook feels like the clueless, dumb one. The single cell in his brain is having a difficult time operating. He’s not thinking. But the one thing he is doing is trying not to grin and look like an idiot in front of you. The pair of you skate a bit more. You squeeze his hand. Not much is spoken except for mumbles. But nothing else needs to be said. // There’s a curling match in two weeks time. It’s business as usual. The men’s and women’s team are warming up together, Namjoon conducting their practice while Adora is scribbling on her clipboard, having designed a special routine for mixed. The practice sessions schedule continues without any more trouble. It’s finally normal, no more fights or underlying grudges, zero interruptions….or so Jungkook thought. “—village next year. So, there’s still a lot we have to prepare for.” You’re strolling in with Yoongi, talking to him without holding back. It’s a casual conversation and from the outside, it looks like you’re the talkative one. There isn’t any trace of shyness in your features, unfazed like it’s completely normal. And that’s enough to shake Yoonji to her core. She frowns, coming to stand by Jungkook and watching this monstrosity unfold. “Did something happen?” Before he can come up with a response, Taehyung runs up to the two of them, throwing his arms around their shoulders. “What’s going on now? I always feel like you’re leaving me out of the loop. What are we staring at today?” He pouts, looking between the female and male’s profiles before his eyes stray off. “Oh. You got a new bag?” The maroon duffel bag is slung onto Jungkook’s shoulder by his side, brand new with just the tag cut off. “Oh yeah. Y/N bought it for me.” “Team Jungkook going strong, huh?” he comments. You quickly notice that everyone’s gathered and you bid farewell to Yoongi. The entire walk towards them, Jungkook’s pupils are pinpointed on your face, openly gawking at you like you’re the most magnificent painting while you’re diverting your vision elsewhere. Involuntarily, you draw into yourself, having a hard time looking him in the eyes, face feeling particularly hot. You face Yoonji, outright ignoring Jungkook. “Ummm...I..I think we should talk about strategy for the upcoming match.” “Yeah. That’s a good idea.” “I’ll let coach know.” You walk over to Adora who’s still scribbling things down furiously. Taehyung turns to Jungkook, lost, and repeating the exact same thing as Yoonji, “What happened?” “I don’t know.” Jungkook is genuinely bewildered and confused why you’re ghosting him. It reminds him of when he first met you, except worse. Was it really that bad? Was it a mistake after all? “I win,” Yoonji declares with a smirk. The two males gape at her, still not getting it, and she rolls her eyes with a sigh. “I’m surrounded by idiots…” The end of practice comes quicker than expected. Time moves faster when things are going well and are equally enjoyable. It’s not too shabby and it’s evident in the way Adora is screaming less these days. Everyone is standing outside, waiting for one another and whoever is left in the change room. It’s become tradition between the four of you to eat somewhere together after practice — a custom that is beginning to burn a few holes through some wallets, but no one particularly minds when they can just spend less on groceries. “Hey.” Yoongi strolls up to Jungkook. The both of them acquaintances on the verge of some sort of friendship. The younger boy accepts it with open arms, enjoying chats with him. He finds him the more bearable Min sibling after all — though he’ll never let Yoonji know that. “—yeah, probably head back in like a weak or so. Another semester.” A long sigh squeezes out of Yoongi. “I should just jump off a bridge now.” “I feel like Yoonji would be pissed if you did that.” Jungkook grins. “Funerals are expensive.” He scoffs. “You’re right. She’d rather drop my body into the ocean and let me sink to the bottom than spend money on a coffin.” The younger male laughs. “There’s no point in spending money on a corpse.” A grin draws on Yoongi’s face, gums shown in his smile. “That’s exactly what she would say. Jeez. She’s going to give me an aneurysm.” “I wouldn’t doubt it,” he agrees. “The only person that can handle her is Y/N.” Yoongi’s reminded of something and he hums a low note. “Speaking of which, she talks about you a lot.” “Who? Y/N? She does?” “Yeah. She’s a nice girl and you seem to have a good head on your shoulders.” Yoongi’s arm lifts to the height of his chest and his hand curls into a fist. He gives a subtle fist pump of encouragement while flashing a grin, conveying he’s supporting Team Jungkook too.

In the meanwhile, you finally get outside, finding Yoonji and Taehyung huddled together by the doors. “Where’s Jungkook? Is he coming with us?” Yoonji playfully shrugs, lips pouty. “He’s over there talking to my dumbass brother. I don’t want to talk to him. He’s been following me everywhere and I’m sick and tired of him. You go get Jeon.” “But—” “Go, hurry!” She complains and pushes you forward. “Taehyung and I are going first!” He blinks, eyes wide. “We are?” “It’s too goddamn cold.” Yoonji’s hands are dug in her pockets, shoulders up and tense, trying to conserve heat. The female skedaddles away before anyone can get another word in and Taehyung is forced to catch up to her. You swallow hard, bracing yourself before approaching with slow steps. The two males quiet down when they see you and you nonchalantly greet the older. “Hey, Yoongi. Have you packed yet?” “In the process of it. I should probably go home and do it before I procrastinate again.” You nod, looking away before your hand comes up, fingers shyly grabbing Jungkook’s sleeve. “It’s….time to go.” “Oh, okay.” The both of you walk off after Yoongi bids farewell and you answer him back in mumbles. He watches with an approving smile before turning to walk his own way home. The pair of you walk beside each other in silence. Jungkook steals a glance at you and at the exact same time as he whips his head back to face forward, you’re the one to glance at him. No one says anything. But each of your arms are straight by your side and with how close he’s walking next to you, steps synchronized together, the back of his hand brushes yours. Your skin skims against one another, sending a sea of goosebumps up the arm, hair standing on end, heartbeat thundering next to your rib cage. Jungkook inhales a sharp breath and takes a leap of faith, channeling his courage. He is cautious and hesitant, hand slipping into yours. A part of him is afraid that you’ll withdraw your arm, cower away, but you open your palm, letting him. The two of you hold each other’s hands, delicately and softly, somehow different from all the times before. There’s nothing necessary to say when subtle touches and obvious feelings are loud enough. “Your takeout shots are good,” you whisper, bringing up curling. It’s one of the things that you and Jungkook have the most in common — and he smiles, both from your praise and realizing you’re using his advice right back at him. “Thanks. I’ve been working on it.” You hum, losing tension in your muscles. “I think your guard shots are a bit strong.” “Really?” “I just noticed….as the skip.” “Well, if you think so as the skip, then I’ll have to work harder on it.” Jungkook’s smile widens, and he takes yet another glimpse of your face before looking away. “But...can you help me?” You nod, squeezing his hand tenderly. “We’ll do it together.” “Together.” It sounds pleasant to the ears and he savours the word on his tongue, chest blooming in warmth by the second. He feels at ease. If you’re here together with him, Jungkook’s sure he could take on anything.

#bts fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook fanfic #bts scenario #jungkook scenario #Jungkook as a curling player who harbours A NOT SO SECRET CRUSH #OC who also happens to harbour a not so secret crush looool #what a coincidence huuuuh?#but there might be a smol issue with that

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amnachil · 5 years ago

Text

The College Society Chapter 4 Part 6

The next part!

Some feelings ;)

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey Thursday April 4

"You should have tell me sooner."

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey rolled his eyes. As if it would have change anything.

"Archie and I have this shit under control. There isn't much you can do."

Even through the phone, he guessed she was annoyed. D.R didn't like to be kept in the dark. Especially on that matter. Archie had insisted : they had to warn her about Nate. And I guess he's right.

"The victim isn't from our college anyway." he continued. "You can't make further investigations."

"I get that." she sighed. "But I'm a specialist with a diploma. I know Archie must've been a good support, but he isn't trained. What if he reawken his own traumas ? You remember as well as me how hard healing him had been the first time... I never had a case like his before... And by judging his ever expanding pack, we can tell he isn't completely cured."

"Yeah but until now, he's fine. And I think he can learn from this experience. For fucksake, I'm not stupid."

Seriously it was so annoying. He knew how to help people, he wasn't some heartless jerk ! D.R was the kind of person to worry anyway.

"Let's say I'll trust you on this for now." she decided. "I'll send a girl to watch discreetly over him when he goes out anyway. Sadly, I don't have any boy working for me. And once he's ready to be seen, you bring him to me. Now let's talk about our second... matter. My team didn't manage to get to the root of the website. Our prankster is good and we can't do much as long as he remains anonymous."

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey gnashed his teeth. Damnit this is so fucking frustrating.

"This hunt is totally unethical." he grumbled. "There is nothing you can do ?"

"Well, I agree with you. A bounty for a prey isn't something I can tolerate." she replied. "But what do you want me to do ? I can order all the hunters to stop coming close to him but that's include you. There's no way I will treat you differently."

But this baboon is mine ! I'm his fucking boyfriend god damnit ! It made him think about what Zack had told him. I'm not ready to admit it yet. Not that he wasn't happy with the baboon but... He could already imagine the reaction of the community. The laughs and the teasing. They would never let him go away with that. Everything he had built so far would be wrecked.

"Forget it." he mumbled. "Let them try to catch the prey and fail miserably. It'll be fun to watch."

After all, many of them had already tried. And nobody had succeeded.

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey tasted his pancake. They were delicious. Of course they're... I'm the best. But still, he was a bit worried. It was their first date since Liam had discovered the truth about Nate, and the Dean's grandson couldn't help but be stressed. What if his baboon held a grudge against him for having lied ? Liam was probably too concerned about the midget to truly enjoy a date with his newly boyfriend anyway. They weren't that close and... Stop. Wait a fuckin second. What the hell ?! Was he, the best hunter, seriously thinking like a weakling ? This is... Man I just don't get it. Why am I stressing over something like that ? Is it because... It was so hard to admit it. The baboon wasn't any boyfriend. He was nothing like his precedent relationships. It was the reason Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey couldn't resolve himself to reveal the truth to the community. Because in barely five month, Liam became an important part of his life...

"Hey Dami, you okay ?"

Speaking of the devil, the baboon had arrived. Albeit against his will, the Dean's grandson ogled him. Damnit. Not only he had a great and unique (very unique) personnality, but he was hot for crying out loud ! Was it these strong arms ? Or maybe these thick thighs ? Or the eighth wonder of the world that was his ass ? It could've been these insane pecs or the little portliness of his belly... Anyway SOMETHING was attracting Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey like hell. He wanted to cuddle Liam like... forever. At least feel his strong yet soft body against his. And his damn hands. Big and warm ! Okay. Let's breath and stop being such a shame for myself.

"Dami ? Are you talking with the alien forces ?" asked the baboon, who suddenly stroke his cheek.

"What the... No. No." he stammered, now more than flustered. "I was just thinking about some stuff."

His boyfriend smiled. What a smile. Damn I hate him so much.

"Nate and I talked a bit." he suddenly revealed. "It's kind of clearer for me. He doesn't want to tell me for now, he doesn't felt ready and I respect thtat. He assured me I'm important for him and this is why it's so hard for him to talk... At least thanks to Archie, I know what I have to do now. I was so lost and pissed... I owe you an apology for my behavior this night."

The junior looked at him with amazment. This dummy was apologising ? Seriously ? Baboon, when I'll be used to all your cuteness and not affected by it anymore, I'll teach you how to be a little less sweet.

"You owe me shit." he retorted. "Nate is your bestfriend for a lifespan. After what happened to him, you have the right to be mad or whatever. And I'm the one sorry for having lied to you like that. I know we ain't dating for long and I'm already failing... I told you I suck at being a boyfriend so I guess it's also your fault for..."

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey was so busy talking, he didn't notice the baboon move. Liam embraced him with both arms and kissed him softly.

"Trust me Dami, you are wonderful and I'm not asking for anything more than you being yourself. You're doing an amazing job at this boyfriend's stuff and that's pretty normal because you're the best."

Okay. I wasn't expecting that at all. The blond lad buried his red face on his boyfriend's chest. What should I do ? This is so nice and so corny ! He needed a way to regain composure. To take the lead again ! Because there was no way, absolutely none that the baboon was consoling him !

"I'm sure you're sayin' that only for the pancakes." he finally whispered, not convincing at all.

It made Liam laugh.

"I'm not." he stated. "But the pancake definitely help your case babe."

Liam Saturday April 6

Nate grunted. Well, he was grunting a lot since the... The rape. According to him, it was because he wasn't feeling like talking. Anyway, so he grunted. Liam had learnt how to distinguish a frustrasted grunt from a scared one. Or, although it sheldom happen, an amused grunt. This one belonged to the last category. Well, the situation was kind of amusing to be fair. At first, they had head out only to go to the stadium, were the football team was gonna play soon. It was the only event Nate had agreed to come because Archibald was playing and Liam had insisted. So they were casually walking to join Nick, Colton and Dami when they encountered the witch. Which was why they were now hiding behind a low wall.

"How long are we supposed to stay here ?" asked Nate.

"Not so loud bro !" replied (not so discreetly) his bestfriend. "I swear, she'll kill us if she find us. Let's crawl over there."

The shortest lad rolled his eyes but obeyed nonetheless. He certainly didn't want to be killed by the witch. She's very persistent. But I'm getting used to her tricks now. They managed to move for ten meter at least before she decided to come in their direction. Liam froze, and held Nate next to him. First, I protect Nate. Then I run. (Sure he was taller and way beefier than her but she had magical powers, remember ?!).

"Do you need help ?" asked someone.

The chestnut lad raised his head and looked at the newcomer. She was a tall but thin girl. Her pale skin planted an idea in Liam's head.

"We're trying to enter the stadium." explained Nate before he could speak. "But we need to avoid this woman."

The stranger looked at the witch and smiled. These teeth... That's no good.

"It's manageable." she assured. "Come with me. I'm Jolenne by the way."

Liam was very wary but well, they followed her anyway. She led them in a dark path, apparently to enter the stadium by the staff's door. I can't let Nate alone with her. There is no way I let him alone with a woman anyway. His bestfriend had tensed up quickly. She was isolating them from the crowd, and he didn't like it at all. Neither did Liam of course. (He wasn't brave but for Nate, he would be ready to fight and get his blood sucked.) (Because yeah, she was certainly a vampire.)

"Here we are." she finally announced. "The back door, as you asked."

The two boys sighed, relieved. She doesn't want our blood for now. We have a lucky escape...

"Well have a nice evening." Jolenne continued. "I'm looking fowards to our next meeting."

They politely thanked her and went inside. There is something fishy about her, I'm sure of it. And it wasn't only because Dami asked him to be prudent around girls !

Their team won the game. Liam enjoyed it. He was with his friends and they all seemed fine. Even Nate. Besides, his boyfriend was there too. Sure, it didn't show much affection because they were in public but it was nice anyway. Dami had surely opened his heart to the chestnut lad since their trip in France. Now, Liam knew what kind of person he truly was. And yeah, because he's a succubus he's still sleeping around but it doesn't matter that much. (Liam is very open-minded). They didn't attend to the party after, because Nate wasn't feeling ready for it. So they ended up at Dami's place to spend the evening. The hero had already cooked diner beforehand, and Liam thanked him a lot for that. He enjoyed himself. He's so good. The food is so good.

"I know I made too much." Dami stated. "But I also know you eat a lot."

He was right. Liam and Nick dug in pretty fast. Everything tasted so terrific. The chestnut lad went for second, thrid and fourth. He would've eat more if only there were some leftover, but it appeared they had emptied everything. Liam found himself cozily sat in the sofa, his boyfriend curled up next to him. He was pleasantly full and happy. (Honestly ? Yeah his inner desire asked for more food until he was about to burst !). (The idea of a swollen stomach made him kind of excited.). The group played games until Liam started to feel dozy. The young lad didn't want to ruin the fun but he was falling asleep. His filling diner wasn't helping.

"Do you want to sleep here with me ?" asked Dami when he noticed.

Hmhmh... The tone was hopeful.

"We won't do anything of course..." he continued while blushing. "Just... you know... it would be nice if you stayed for the night and all."

"I would love to stay." assured Liam.

He liked this part of his boyfriend. The one unconfident and shy. I think it's super cute.

The chestnut lad woke up because someone was hammering on the door. At 10 am. Who was nasty enough to do that ? Even the forces of evil wouldn't be that mean ! The lad yawned and spawled. Not only he's a hero with amazing cooking skills, but he's so nice to sleep with... Dami had a soft skin that Liam loved. Not to mention, his little plumpness made him very attractive.

"Open the fuckin' door you dam brat !" a voice shouted. "I know you're in there idiot !"

The junior swore from the kitchen. He was probably awake for awhile now and cooking breakfast. Anyway, he arrived in the bedroom kind of... stressed ?

"My father arrived baboon." he mumbled. "You need to get out of here before he sees you."

Liam frowned. Wasn't he supposed to meet him ? Then he remembered how unkempt he looked. His messy hair, his loose sweatpants and his dazed expression weren't appropriate to meet Dami's father.

"Go by the window." this one ordered. "I'll see you later okay ?"

"Sure. Love you."

Liam didn't care that they were on the first floor. Leaving by the balcony what somehow very fun !

Nicolas Sunday April 7 – Monday April 8

< Imagenius : Late mb !! Very sorry Sav pls don't yell. >

< Abeautifulwomen : it happens a lot lately dude ! Was it ur hunter thing again ? >

< TheSavior : and here we go. >

< Imagenius : well yeah it was and it sucked !!! I tried to catch a prey but u know what he said to me ?! That I am too fat !!!! looool >

< Abeautifulwomen : he ? So a man ? Gays >

< Imagenius : Shut up fke girl. I still think u're an ass becuz u don't wanna tell me what the big hunt is about. I know the reward is huge !! >

< Abeautifulwomen : Maybe one day you'll understand i do this for your own good you idiot !! This big hunt is only troubles i swear >

< Imagenius : as if i would trust ya ! You lie abut being a girl so... >

< TheSavior : Okay now you guys will shut the fuck up with this hunt thing or god be my witness i'll blow a fuse ! >

< Imagenius : sorry boss... I'm just so frustrated... >

< Abeautifulwomen : sorry too... let's play to calm you ok ? >

< TheSavior : at least you're coming back to your senses. Let's go. >

Monday lessons were easy and Nick didn't pay attention. Honestly, his mind was drifting towards Nate and things related to him. The feeling of being powerless wasn't gone yet. Liam and I talked with him but it's obvious he doesn't want us to know everything... He probably doesn't want us to think less of him. Anyway, truth must be told, Nick was getting paranoid. They knew it was a girl who did this. And now, the dark haired lad was seeing shady girls everywhere. There was this "witch" Liam had talked about. She was following them most of the time. And I'm pretty sure she's trying to seduce at least one of us... She wasn't the only one. There were girls at every corner of this damn college. Nick was certain he had noticed Leila, Colton's sister, watching them from afar. But he did not know what they wanted exactly. I'm just turning crazy that's it. His own experience with the girls here didn't gave him a reason to trust them either. Their professor announced the end of the lecture. Nick was about to stood up but Colton held him.

"Dude maybe we should wait a bit before leaving." he smiled.

Liam was slowly waking up. If he wasn't sleeping most of the time, the man would've been one of the three top students around here, no doubts.

"Why ?" asked Nick. "Is there a problem ?"

He knew his friend : he was probably trying to avoid a conflict or something like that.

"Well... your trousers hum... split on your back." revealed Colton. "I don't want anyone to embarrass you by seeing it you know ?"

It led to a blank. Nick felt his cheeks burn. Well this is awkward. But it explains why I felt relieved... It was time to go shopping again...

Colton decided to come with him after their last class. Liam was heading back at the flat to see Nate and his boyfriend. The duo ended in a specialized shop at the mall. I didn't know this kind of shop were real. A lot of things were plus-sized here.

"You're not really that huge, but since you like loose clothes this shop will be nice." explained Colton. "Here, let's try these pants."

Nick looked at him, surprised.

"If I was smart, I would say you are a regular... " he teased. "Oh wait. I'm smart ! Dude how the hell do you know your way around a plus-sized shop ?!"

His friend smiled softly.

"My step-brother is on the heavy side too and we used to go buy clothes together because my parents wouldn't come wih him." he replied. "So yeah, I'm used to it."

To prove his point, he started to show Nick many trousers and shirts which suited him just fine. More than used to it, he loves shopping... He's boyfriend material. The dark haired genius would've been interested himself if he didn't knew Colton was hetero. Well, it didn't prevent him from coveting this hot stuff. Once they had finished, the two boys decided to grab a quick meal for diner. Nick thought it would be nice before meeting with his virtual friends who were annoying lately. But they bumped into Rebecca and Barbara right after they had bought their hotdogs. The petite blonde tried to ignore them, but her tall friend didn't.

"Hey neighbour !" she smirked. "Enjoying a snack I see ? I'm not sure you need it tho."

Nick rolled his eyes. Why was she so mean ? What was her problem ?

"I have something to tell you bro." she continued. "For the old times sakes. If you ever want a girlfriend, you should really lose that gut. You're so fat, that's disgusting."

She pinched his belly.

"I mean, Liam's padding looks kind of hot but you... This is just pure blubber. What a..."

"I think we got your point Rebecca." intervened Colton. "You and Barbara despise chubby people, it's your choice and we respect that. Now we're leaving."

He took Nick by the wrist and led him outside the mall. The poor lad watched the two girls laugh. Seriously... But deep down, he couldn't help but wonder. Was she right ? Maybe it was the reason why Theo had stopped their affair ? Maybe he was just too fat after all...

To be continued

Well, well, well... Dami has feelings. Cute :D

Liam is dealing with the truth now, and do is best to follow Archie’s advice. Each person suffering from this kind of trauma will deal with it differently, Nate has his own way to do. A professionnal like D.R is what they need to find these ways.

It’s the turning point for Nick. Maybe it wasn’t clear enough before, but he’s a bit of a social inept, and the opinion of others matter to him. So yeah, with time, he started to doubt his body, and now, he wants to change back.

#the college society #cs #Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey #Liam #Nick #talks #Liam is worried but happy #Dami has feelings #Nick doesn't know what to think #Even geniuses have doubts #The big hunt continue #Chapter 4 #Part 6

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rheyninwrites · 6 years ago

Text

In From the Storm Part 9

When you arrived home Friday night, expecting to take Arthur out again, you opened the door to the smell of cooking food. In the kitchen, Arthur was hunched over the stove, humming happily to himself. You smiled. It was a picture of domestic bliss.

“What’s going on in here?” You asked, making him look up with a start.

“Hey! Just thought I’d make some dinner for tonight, so you don’t have to spend no more of your money on me.” You rolled your eyes, ready to reassure him again, but he stopped you. “I know you say you don’t mind, but the truth is, I feel like a damn fool, sitting around here doing so little. I feel like no matter what I’ll never be able to repay you for all you done for me, so I thought I’d do this, at least. Now sit down and eat, before it gets cold.”

After a few minutes of eating, you finally told him what was on your mind.

“You know, I wish you wouldn’t worry so much about doing enough to repay me. Honestly, just having you around for company is enough for me.”

“Well, I ain’t much company.”

“Sure you are. We get along, we like a lot of the same things. You make me laugh. You’re a good friend.”

“Friends, huh?” You couldn’t help but notice the slight scowl as he said that, and you rushed to reassure him that you meant it.

“Yeah. I haven’t had a lot of friends. Not real friends. Mostly my friends have all been people who I just happened to see often, but didn’t really have a lot in common with, or who used me for whatever they could, but never gave anything back. I . . .” You swallowed hard. “I guess I’ve had a pretty lonely life. Kinda pathetic, I guess.”

He looked at you sadly. “I don’t think you’re pathetic.”

You tried to shovel in a few more mouthfuls of food, to get your thoughts off of the way he was staring at you, but somehow you’d managed to scare away your appetite. After a minute, instead of forcing yourself to eat anyway, you headed to put it away, sorry you wouldn’t get to eat it fresh. He got up from the table, following you.

“I’m sorry, Arthur. It’s delicious, I just- I can’t eat it right now.”

You turned to him, half expecting him to be angry, but instead, he was still looking at you with those deep, sad eyes. You tried to hold back, be strong and not let it get to you, but seeing him look at you that way was too much. Tears stung in your eyes and were soon trailing down your cheeks.

When you tried to turn away so he wouldn’t see, he grabbed your shoulders, turning you back around and wrapping his arms around you. Soon you were sobbing into his chest while he stroked your back, resting his chin on your head. Unable to help yourself, you put your arms around his waist and soaked up the comfort he gave like your life depended on it.

When your sobs had settled down some, you leaned back, wiping your eyes.

“You know, it wouldn’t be so bad if it was just a few friends, but . . ,” you inhaled deeply, sterling yourself for the confession you were about to make, “it’s everything. Everyone. I haven’t had a single relationship with anyone that wasn’t all about the other person’s needs. If I dared want anything, I was in the wrong. No matter how much I gave, it was never enough. I was never good enough.”

A dry chuckle from Arthur. “I guess I know what you mean there.” He stroked your hair while you leaned in against his chest, enjoying his warmth. “ But I think anybody that doesn’t get how amazing you are is a goddamn idiot.”

You laugh, completely devoid of humor. “ You realize that would be literally every person I’ve ever met, right?” You lean back to look in his eyes. “I’m serious. All I’ve ever heard my whole damn life is how awful I am. How I’m horrible, ugly, and never good enough at anything to be useful. Hell, my goddamn parents told me that. So, thanks for trying, but I doubt the whole world is wrong.”

“If that’s what the whole world says, then maybe it is wrong. Cause I don’t think that at all. You’re wonderful. You’re gentle, and kind, and,”he pauses for a moment to tuck some hair behind your ear, “you’re so goddamn beautiful.”

Panic rose in his chest as he realized what he’d said, but he knew it was too late to take it back. His eyes chased out yours, trying to see how big of a mistake he’d just made, and if he would be able to fix it, but he couldn’t read anything in your sad smile, or the way you thanked him and turned away.

Though you’d moved to face away from him, he let his hands linger around your waist, not quite able to face letting you go just yet. You tried to thank him again, to tell him he was being an incredible friend in putting up with you through this, but something about the look in his eyes when you faced him again stopped you. Your thoughts turned back to what he’d just said.

He’d called you beautiful, ‘so goddamn beautiful’. But that didn’t mean anything, right? Why would it? This was a man who, despite the dismal view he seemed to have of himself, could have his choice if women here, in your world. Once he understood that, he’d never even think about you again, even as a friend.

It had to happen eventually. You pulled him over to the sofa, taking out your laptop. Soon, you had website after website up, each one filled with people talking about how attractive he was, and how much they wished he was real. You showed him, watching the confusion filter across his face.

“You see what you mean to people? How many people think you’re absolutely incredible, and would give anything to be with you?”

He shook his head. “I ain’t nothing special. Why would anyone want me?”

“Because you ARE special, Arthur, no matter what you think of yourself. As soon as I can figure out some way to get you legal, in the system, and able to cope on your own, you can have anybody you want, Arthur. Anyone.”

He reached over, carefully closing the laptop. “I don’t want just anybody. I only want one person, more than I’ve ever wanted anything before. But I know I can’t have ‘em, cause there’s no way someone like them could want someone like me. Except as a friend?” His hand slid over the top of yours as he looked in your eyes.

“Arthur- you don’t want me. I know you don’t. Give it time. I’m disgusting, unloveable. I’m probably the least desirable person on the planet.” Tears spilled from your eyes. It hurt to say it to him, but you knew it was true. There’s no way he could be happy with you, not when he could do so much better.

He moved his hand. “If you ain’t interested, you can just say so. It won’t be the first time I made a goddamn fool of myself.”

“Dammit, it’s not that! I do want you. You’re fucking amazing, Arthur, and if I thought you could be happy with me . . . .” You look down into your lap. “I’m broken. I think I always will be.”

He shifted positions, kneeling in the floor in front of you to look in your eyes. “I’m broke too. But you make me feel like I ain’t. If you’d let me, I’ll try my best to do the same for you.”

The two of you sat there, stomachs in knots, for what felt like ages. Finally, you spoke in a quiet voice. “You sure? Really sure?”

He put his forehead against yours, wrapping a hand against the back of your neck. “First time I saw your face, that night I showed up? I knew I had to be dead, because I figured nothing that beautiful could exist in the world. You looked like an angel to me. Still do.”

#rdr2 #rdr2 fandom #red dead redemption #red dead redemption 2 #reddeadredemption #rdr #rdr 2 #arthur morgan #arthurmorgan #rdr arthur #arthur morgan/reader #arthur morgan fic #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan fanfic #modern arthur morgan #in from the storm

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hollandsmoose · 5 years ago

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Okay well I’m kind of on the younger side of shawnblur I’m 16 and a half and I’ve been going through a lot these past few months really ever since November. I got into this relationship with this guy who’s 4 years older than me and everything and I’m our religion/culture we don’t really do relationships so me and him got engaged after 2 weeks of talking he was a good guy in the beginning and he was kind and he cared for me and everything up until maybe January (1)

In January he started treating me like shit. He wouldn’t check up on me, he wouldn’t call me, he wouldn’t pay attention to me or anything and he would be too busy hanging out with his friends and smoking hukkah and then he forced me to send him nudes because if I didn’t he would be pissed at me and I was scared so I sent him a few pictures and ever since that I just distanced myself from Him and I started to not be able to stand him and I stopped talking to him and everything (2)

He turned my own dad against me he would call my dad and complain to him about how I’m not speaking to him and everything and my dad would come and yell at me and make me talk to him and anyway he screwed up a few times with me and my dad found out and everything time my dad wants to end our relationship and this whole engagement thing he starts to feel bad for him and he makes me give him another chance when I cry and beg him not to make me stay he still forces me to and I can’t say no (3?)

I talked to my dad about it again last week and he was like okay it’s over you know and j swear i never felt more happy and relaxed and I felt like my old self but then he calls my dad and begs him for another chnace “because he love me” and my dad forces me to give another chance by yelling at me and I do and I talked to him and I told him I’ll give him another chance for my dad yet again but if I can’t love him within a few months I’m gonna end it with him because (4)

I’m not gonna force myself to be in a relationship that I don’t want and can’t stand and that ruins me mentally and then he starts threatening me and manipulating me he told me that if I leave him he’s gonna leave his house and he’s gonna start drinking and smoking and go and be with all sorts of girls and that’s all gonna be on me and now I don’t know what to do. I’m lost and tired and exhausted and just physically and mentally drained because I can’t keep doing this (5)

my love, there are so many things that i need to comment on so i'm just gonna list them

i need you to get out of this ASAP. i understand that it can be hard to stand up to your dad, but if you feel it's safe, then i beg of you to stand up to him. if your dad wants you to give that guy another chance, i need you to say no. your dad needs to understand how horrible this is for you, and you just really need to get out of this. if you don't feel safe standing up to your dad, then i hope you can reach out to some sort of authority, like child protective services or the like, because under no circumstances should a father be forcing his daughter (who is btw a minor) to marry anyone

about the nudes and your age gap: now i don't know which country you live in and therefore i don't know the age of consent either. BUT in most countries, being in possession of nudes that feature someone under the age of 18 is considered illegal as it is child porn. there are often hotlines and websites that tell you what you can do when someone else is in possession of your nudes, and if you can, please reach out to them. as you are under the age of 18, i think you can reach out to organizations that are a bit like childline (if you don't know what that is, it's basically a hotline for children). finally, i would say that if you have a teacher you trust, you might be able to confide in them. it's not their job as such but i know a lot of teachers would do a lot to help their students

if he wants to go out and do all kinds of stupid shit, you know who's to blame? HIM and no one else but HIM, and certainly not you. you are not to blame for that at all, do you understand? i will not have you feeling guilty about this because ZERO percent of the blame is yours

that man is horrible and a manipulative piece of shit, and you need to get rid of him. i swear to you, if i could, i would do anything to help you. for now, i can't do much else but to give you the advice above and just hope and pray that you get out of this situation because you deserve to be happy and you deserve to be free. love you 💗

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carmintros · 6 years ago

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@rowanfelixgreen / ❛ ｡ ✩ ﾟ my eyes are probably playing tricks on me again, but is that really brianna hildebrand? oh, wait, it’s just rowan felix green. yes, that seventeen year old shop attendant & computer repair person, who i am pretty sure is a local. according to the talk of the town, he is incredibly wild & always ready for a fight, yet undeniably smart & unafraid to be different. that is precisely why leather jackets, the haze of alcohol just starting to set in, bloody knuckles, stuffed animals pouring out of every space & the clack of noisy keys on an old laptop remind me of them so much, but then again you know what they say about aquarius, we’ll see how that one turns out ! penned by kit / mst & they / them

ooc note: rowan is non-binary/transmasculine. He uses he/him pronouns because he says they/them is confusing and neo-pronouns are never going to be taken seriously, he also likes the fact that he often looks femiminine in his dress but acts masculine and uses he/him pronouns.

introduction post . TW: self harm, abuse, rape, substance use ooc information: kit, mst, they/them. ic information: Rowan Felix Green Age: 17 Gender: Transmasculine, he/him [Boxcar - Jawbreakers] - ”Uhhh, shit, I guess if I had to pick a theme song it’d be Boxcar. I like the whole vibe of it, like, calling out punk purists. Punk should have no room for purism. If you say you’re a punk and you’re not a nazi, cause in the words of Dead Kennedys ‘nazi punks fuck off,’ you’re welcome. That’s what the whole point of punk was, dude. It’s the ultimate counter culture movement ‘cause it welcomes fucking everyone unlike mainstream culture.”

D.O.B: February 14

“Why the name Rowan?” “So, like, originally I was named Hannah. Which is totally a bullshit name and when I met my forever family I decided to give myself a new name and I wanted it to be all nature-y because they all had nature names. They like helped me look and I found Rowan and read this folklore about how a rowan tree was where the devil hanged his mother and I knew right then. That was my name.”

Ethnicity: Half white, half mestizo

Relationship Status: single “Single and definitely not ready to mingle. If it happens it happens but I sure as hell ain’t seeking it out and I don’t think it’s gonna happen anyways so it don’t fucking matter.”

Sexual Orientation: Unsure “Yeah, I don’t really wanna think about sexy shit. I was raped as a kid, I’m not especially into remembering it. And all this sexual orientation shit makes me remember it.”

Appearance:

Height: 5’0 Build: Smaller than he looks from far away. He’s actually really tiny. And he hates it.

If he wasn’t so intimidating he could be cute. With a small stature, high cheekbones, a cocky swagger and big brown eyes he is definitely attractive. But the scowl that takes over his features whenever he’s around someone he doesn’t trust and the aggression that seemed to exude from every pore disguises that attractiveness pretty well.

Ripped flannels and fishnets under cropped tops and t-shirts are among Rowan’s signature looks. There’s something decidedly sexual about how he dresses but he doesn’t seem to register that. He just wears what he likes and hopes will scare people. He displays his self harm scars like a badge of honor – or insanity. They seem to warn: I AM UNSTABLE, DON’T FUCKING TALK TO ME.

Look at Rowan the wrong way and at the very least he’ll gnash his teeth at you. At the most he’ll pull a knife on you and threaten to gouge out your eyes if you ever look at him again. He claims he tried to once but that’s unlikely. He would be in jail if that was the case. …right? Better not to risk it.

History:

Rowan was born to a teenage mother in an abusive household.

When Melissa Webber got pregnant at only age 15 she knew she would be in trouble. Her father, Frank, wouldn’t approve. Melissa kept it from the man as long as she could. Eventually, of course, he found out. Frank was livid. Melissa was banned from leaving their little trailer, she was banned from seeing her friends, and she was even banned from seeing her boyfriend of just over a year and the father of her baby. She was to be homeschooled for the rest of her high school career so, in the words of Frank, she could no longer “be a slut.”

Her baby was born on Valentine’s Day in a house with no love left. Melissa’s mother had died of suicide when Melissa was only 11, and it often felt like she took any warmth and care that had been lingering in the corners of rooms, hidden among the shadows with her. How funny then that Rowan, initially named Hannah Jane, was born on Valentine’s day.

Frank’s anger and the isolation he forced on Melissa eventually pushed the girl to suicide. Rowan was only 6 months old. Before Melissa’s death, Rowan had been largely ignored by Frank. Now, however, he became the scapegoat. Melissa hadn’t killed herself because she was isolated from the world. Nor had she killed herself because the mental illness that ran in her family was untreated. Instead, according to Frank, she had killed herself because the baby had ruined her life.

Frank turned this rage on the baby. Rowan’s earliest memories involve him being tied onto a tiny children’s chair for hours because Frank didn’t want him to make a mess in the house; Frank coming into the bedroom at night to ‘visit’ with him in a way that, to this day has left Rowan, extremely anxious about sex and sex repulsed; Frank holding his hand against a hot burner to ‘teach [him] a lesson’ (Rowan was never told what the lesson was); having his face pushed under water in the bath to stop him from crying; and other acts that could only be described as torture. Rowan lead an extremely isolated life for the first several years of his life. He was homeschooled, like his mother, and besides Frank and a handful of Frank’s friends he was largely alone. Most of his socialization came from the television. Frank justified this by saying school was how Melissa got pregnant so he wouldn’t “make the mistake of sending another one there to be a slut.” Instead rowan was kept inside the house during school hours.

It had been noted that Frank was capable of abuse and neglect when Melissa was little (she had spent several months in the system when she’d come to school with visibly bruises as a child), however, for the first 7.5 years of Rowan’s life, overworked and under competent social workers consistently overlooked the abuse in the Webber household. Eventually one of the social workers noticed and cared enough to go through the proper procedures to get Rowan out of that living situation. She reported it to her supervisor and a full scale investigation was launched. The abuse was soon discovered through talking to and examining Rowan and Rowan was removed from the situation. For the first time in his life, he was safe – though Rowan did not know what ‘safe’ meant or felt like yet.

Rowan was placed into the Green household temporarily, as at the time the Greens were acting as an emergency house for children who had just been taken away from their parents. He was only supposed to be with them a week but the Green adults fell in love with the skittish, self reliant child they had taken in. They asked for him to stay with them and began the process of adopting him soon after. It took a long time for Rowan to realize he was safe and he was loved. For months he put up with people touching him because he was afraid that if he spoke out he would face some sort of punishment. For months he distrusted everyone in the Green household despite how much they loved him. He was always wary, always waiting for the other shoe to drop and for him to be hurt again. He was placed into therapy when he was young and has gone off and on since.

The greens were a stereotypical homeschool family. Rowan was kid number 15, they owned their own business and baked their own bread. Mr. Green was a carpenter and Mrs. Green ran the little gift shop + bakery. There were so many siblings that the older ones had to help care for the little ones To this day the entire family is very close knit and the older siblings constantly rely on the younger ones to watch their children.

The Greens practice a form of schooling called unschooling. It is a child-led education where children get to decide what they study and when. Additionally, they’re what’s called whole-life unschoolers and the green parents take a stance on parenting where they don’t give their children orders. They talk to them and treat them as if they are capable of making their own choices and decisions, except when it is something that puts their health at risk.

Rowan thrives with that educational setting. He learned to read so he could use his brother’s computer, he learned math while cooking and found it fascinating so he learned it more in depth, he learned how to build robots and how to break into the coding of popular websites well enough that he even figured out how to monetize it when he was 12 (he tests websites for weaknesses and when he finds them he points it out and gets paid to do so). He learned how to play keyboard and guitar and began recording and publishing his music on Soundcloud and Youtube.

Within a few months of living with his new family, his new dad built him a beautiful, fully enclosed, treehouse in the large tree in their backyard. Rowan loved it so much he lived in it for almost a year only coming in to use the bathroom or on the most sweltering days when his family insisted he stay cool inside. He took his baths in the kiddie pool since he lived “outside in [his] own house now.”

Around this time he got a pirate costume and a knight costume. He changed his name to Rowan and began to trade off between wearing those two costumes. When he was in the knight costume he insisted on being called Brave Sir Rowan. When he was a pirate he insisted he was Cap’n Ro.

For a period of Rowan’s life you wouldn’t know he went through the abuse he went through. He seemed happy, healthy, well adjusted.

And then puberty hit.

With puberty came deep gender dysphoria. Suddenly his body was changing in ways he hated. He was developing curves and stopped growing. All the mental illness his family thought they had under control resurfaced along with a large new helping of self-loathing triggered by dysphoria.

Rowan began to self harm. It started small. He would lie in bed and fantasize about cutting off the parts of him that didn’t look right when he saw himself in the mirror. One night, he crawled out of bed and grabbed a kitchen knife and tried cutting his breasts just to see if it was possible. The scratch was so small it didn’t bleed. But, relief flooded through him. He was able to breathe and the crushing weight of dread had let up just a bit. He stopped crying and crawled back into bed and slept well for the first time in weeks.

Whenever he was upset he began to run to the sharp sting of a blade. He stole a pocket knife and a pack of razors and hid them in his treehouse. His family discovered the harm almost a year after he started. By then the little scratches had turned into proper injuries. He was immediately sent back to therapy and was diagnosed with gender dysphoria soon after. Rowan socially transitioned. It helped a little bit but pandora’s box was open. His brain had tasted self destruction and it was hooked.

The last several years have been a slow but steady spiral downwards. He made friends with other sad, breaking kids and they broke together. They began to experiment with alcohol and substance use young, Rowan would swear he’s fine but whenever you put alcohol in his hands he binge drinks to get as drunk as possible as quickly as possible. Whenever there’s a chance for him to get high off something new he takes it, barring only the most stigmatized of drugs.

Somewhere during this spiral he realized the easiest way to make people leave him alone was to scare them. So he began dressing in ways he thought would scare them and carrying himself like at any moment he could snap.

Personality:

“Sometimes I wonder what his life could have been if he had come to us as a baby and if we had known about his gender. You should have seen him when he was little. He was such a cute kid and was so passionate about, well, everything. And he’s so smart it’s intimidating. But then he hit puberty and we all lost what little stability he had. Last time I talked to mom, I heard he set a trashcan in the park on fire while he was drunk or high or both and it breaks my heart because I know he’s a good kid underneath it all. He’s just a good kid who’s really struggling right now. I hate it because I can’t even trust him to be alone with my kids anymore. What if that comes out around them and he hurts my crew?” – Clay Green, older brother.

“Rowan likes to act like he’s tough shit but he’s not. He can’t sleep unless he has his favorite stuffed animal with him and once I saw him crying over the sounds sloths make. The tough guy act is just that. An act. I mean, look at his cat. He only has the thing because he saw it was scared and got gentle with it. And now he’s the only person that cat tolerates and he has it perched in his tree house half the time so you can’t even go up there if you’re not him. Which, like, not cool when your little brother is practically sprinting to a drug addicted future and you really should be making sure he doesn’t have the worst of it in your parents house.” – Rosemary Green, older sister.

At first interaction it’s easy to think Rowan is all rough and ready to fight. And that’s exactly what he wants you to think. His fighter persona is designed to scare anyone who would hurt him away. Give him some time and a little patience and it becomes obvious that Rowan is much more complex than that. Rowan is confusing. There are so many elements to him that it’s hard for any one person to get a full picture of him.

There’s his brash fighter side – the part of him that stabbed a child for being mean to his sister once. There’s the sweet side of him that takes lost animals and lost people under his wing and cares for them when they can’t seem to care for themselves.

There’s the engineer part of him that builds useless robots constantly just because he’s bored. There’s the witch part of him that has an altar in his bedroom and that celebrates every pagan holiday he knows about so none of the gods feel left out.

There’s still a childlike part of him that hangs out in the treefort his dad made him as a kid and still holds conversations between his stuffed animals. There’s the teenage part of him that’s looking for any substance to numb the pain of becoming an adult coupled with the pain of his past.

There’s the creative part of him that comes up with bizarre ideas for robots, off the wall pranks (like leaving loaves of homemade bread all over someone’s living space) and interprets almost every song he likes into his own version. And then there’s the part of him that named his cat “Cat.”

Rowan is nothing if not complicated and confusing. He doesn’t mind that though. He’s used to being the smartest person in any room he’s in but he doesn’t make it a big deal. He just watches everyone else and works on mentally figuring out how to fix the coding of whatever website he’s working on at the moment.

He doesn’t love easily but when he loves he loves deeply and unconditionally. If you find yourself lucky enough to be one of Rowan’s chosen few know you will have him on your side for life. He’s ride or die with everyone he cares about.

Hobbies: Robotics Singing (he actually has a really good voice) Collecting stuffed animals Programming Baking (he works at a bakery but he also just enjoys it) Sloths. They’re his favorite thing in this world and he is almost obsessive in his quest to see sloths, collect sloth momentos, and learn sloth facts. Trivia: Rowan has a car named Bloody Mary. It’s an old fashioned VW Beetle he spray painted black and red. He got a beetle because he “wanted to inspire violence in children.” He’s really good with anything that uses his hands. Baking, playing guitar, building robots, etc. If it’s a hands-on, kinesthetic task Rowan excels at it. He is terrified of butterflies and giraffes. He collects stuffed animals so intensely that it can be hard to walk in his bedroom because there are so many stuffed animals lying around. He sleeps with a little stuffed dinosaur every night who he’s named Kelvin and a stuffed animal of the Peanuts character Woodstock (who he has named Franklin).

Health - Rowan downplays how he’s feeling most of the time. The intense physical abuse and neglect he faced as a child left him with chronic pain. He doesn’t mention it very often. He doesn’t want to admit to any weaknesses. If you watch him closely enough you’ll notice him rubbing his joints or squirming in his seat. Those are his biggest tells with his pain. At 8 he was diagnosed with dyslexia and he still struggles to read and code (coding is worth the struggle, reading is not). At 13 he was diagnosed with gender dysphoria. Besides changing his pronouns he doesn’t seem too interested in transitioning (he’ll tell you he doesn’t see a point but in reality he’s afraid of the medical procedures involved). At 15 he was diagnosed with mood disorder not otherwise specified. He was given medication that he promptly threw out but he still attends weekly therapy sessions to try and help. He doesn’t think it’s doing anything but sometimes it’s just easier to go along with things.

wanted connections . Band members. Rowan is cool with being a singer or a guitarist but he needs music in his life. Names are open for discussion but the genre should be reminiscent of either riot grrrl or post punk. His biological dad. I love the idea that his dad has been in his life from the sidelines since he was adopted and would love to explore that relationship.

#carm:intro

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rowxngreen · 6 years ago

Text

18 years old from tucker, atlanta and has lived in atlanta for 18 years . currently working as a computer repair person/staff at his family’s store in marietta [ kit , 25 , mst ] | @atlanta-rpg

tw: self harm, depression, sexual assault, substance use

Age: 18

Gender: Transmasculine, he/him

[Boxcar - Jawbreakers] - “Uhhh, shit, I guess if I had to pick a theme song it’d be Boxcar. I like the whole vibe of it, like, calling out punk purists. Punk should have no room for purism. If you say you’re a punk and you’re not a nazi, cause in the words of Dead Kennedys ‘nazi punks fuck off,’ you’re welcome. That’s what the whole point of punk was, dude. It’s the ultimate counter culture movement ‘cause it welcomes fucking everyone unlike mainstream culture.”

D.O.B: February 14, 2001

“Why the name Rowan?”

“So, like, originally I was named Hannah. Which is totally a bullshit name and when I met my forever family I decided to give myself a new name and I wanted it to be all nature-y because they all had nature names. They like helped me look and I found Rowan and read this folklore about how a rowan tree was where the devil hanged his mother and I knew right then. That was my name.”

Ethnicity: Half white, half mestizo

Enneagram: 8

Relationship Status: single - “Single and definitely not ready to mingle. If it happens it happens but I sure as hell ain’t seeking it out and I don’t think it’s gonna happen anyways so it don’t fucking matter.”

Appearance:

Height: 5’0

Build: Smaller than he looks from far away. He’s actually really tiny. And he hates it.

If he wasn’t so intimidating he could be cute. With a small stature, high cheekbones, a cocky swagger and big brown eyes he is definitely attractive. But the scowl that takes over his features whenever he’s around someone he doesn’t trust and the aggression that seems to exude from every pore disguises that attractiveness pretty well.

Ripped flannels paired with crop tops and t-shirts layered with fishnets are among Rowan’s signature looks. There’s something decidedly sexual about how he dresses but he doesn’t seem to register that. He just wears what he likes and hopes will scare people. He displays his self harm scars like a badge of honor – or insanity. They seem to warn: I AM UNSTABLE, DON’T FUCKING TALK TO ME.

History:

Rowan was born to a teenage mother in an abusive household.

Her baby was born on Valentine’s Day in a house with no love left. Melissa’s mother had died when Melissa was only 11, and it often felt like she took any warmth and care that had been lingering in the corners of rooms, hidden among the shadows with her. How funny then that Rowan, initially named Hannah Jane, was born on Valentine’s day.

Frank’s anger and the isolation he forced on Melissa eventually pushed the girl to run away. Rowan was only 6 months old. She initially swore she would be back for her baby when she had a safe place to stay. She never came back. Before Melissa left, Rowan had been largely ignored by Frank. Now, however, he became the scapegoat. Melissa hadn’t left because she was isolated from the world. Nor, apparently, had she left because of the intense abuse she faced. Instead, according to Frank, she had left because the baby had ruined her life.

Frank turned this rage on the baby. Rowan’s earliest memories involve him being tied onto a tiny children’s chair for hours because Frank didn’t want him to make a mess in the house; Frank coming into the bedroom at night to ‘visit’ with him in a way that, to this day, has left Rowan extremely anxious about sex and sex repulsed; Frank holding his hand against a hot burner to 'teach [him] a lesson’ (Rowan was never told what the lesson was); having his face pushed under water in the bath to stop him from crying; and other acts that could only be described as torture. Rowan lead an extremely isolated life for the first several years of his life. He was homeschooled, like his mother, and besides Frank and a handful of Frank’s friends he was largely alone. Most of his socialization came from the television. Frank justified this by saying school was how Melissa got pregnant so he wouldn’t “make the mistake of sending another one there to be a slut.” Instead rowan was kept inside the house during school hours.

It had been noted that Frank was capable of abuse and neglect when Melissa was little (she had spent several months in the system when she’d come to school with visible bruises as a child), however, for the first 7.5 years of Rowan’s life, overworked and under-competent social workers consistently overlooked the abuse in the Webber household. Eventually one of the social workers noticed and cared enough to go through the proper procedures to get Rowan out of that living situation. She reported it to her supervisor and a full scale investigation was launched. The abuse was soon discovered through talking to and examining Rowan and Rowan was removed from the situation. For the first time in his life, he was safe – though Rowan did not know what ‘safe’ meant or felt like yet.

Rowan was given a temporary placement in the Green household, because, at the time, the Greens were acting as an emergency house for children who had just been taken away from their parents. He was only supposed to be with them a week but the Green adults fell in love with the skittish, self reliant child they had taken in. They asked for him to stay with them and began the process of adopting him soon after. It took a long time for Rowan to realize he was safe and he was loved. For months he put up with people touching him because he was afraid that if he spoke out he would face some sort of punishment. For months he distrusted everyone in the Green household despite how much they loved him. He was always wary, always waiting for the other shoe to drop and for him to be hurt again. He was placed into therapy when he was young and has gone off and on since.

The Greens are a stereotypical homeschool family. Rowan was kid number 11, they own their own business and they bake their own bread. Mr. Green is a carpenter and Mrs. Green runs the little gift shop + bakery in Marietta. There were so many siblings that the older ones had to help care for the little ones when the younger ones were little. To this day the entire family is very close knit and the older siblings constantly rely on the younger ones to watch their children.

For a period of Rowan’s life you wouldn’t know he went through the abuse he went through. He seemed happy, healthy, well adjusted.

And then puberty hit.

Rowan socially transitioned. It helped a little bit but pandora’s box was open. His brain had tasted self destruction and it was hooked.

Personality:

There’s still a childlike part of him that hangs out in the tree fort his dad made him as a kid and still holds conversations between his stuffed animals. There’s the teenage part of him that’s looking for any substance to numb the pain of becoming an adult coupled with the pain of his past.

Hobbies:

Robotics

Singing (he actually has a really good voice)

Collecting stuffed animals

Programming

Baking (he works at a bakery but he also just enjoys it)

Sloths. They’re his favorite thing in this world and he is almost obsessive in his quest to see sloths, collect sloth mementos, and learn sloth facts.

Trivia:

Rowan has a car named Bloody Mary. It’s an old fashioned VW Beetle he spray painted black and red. He got a beetle because he “wanted to inspire violence in children.”

He’s really good with anything that uses his hands. Baking, playing guitar, building robots, etc. If it’s a hands-on, kinesthetic task Rowan excels at it.

He is terrified of butterflies and giraffes.

He collects stuffed animals so intensely that it can be hard to walk in his bedroom because there are so many stuffed animals lying around. He sleeps with a build-a-bear every night who he’s named Floyd and a stuffed animal of the Peanuts character Woodstock (who he has named Oscar).

Health:

Rowan downplays how he’s feeling most of the time. The physical abuse and neglect he faced as a child left him with chronic pain. He doesn’t mention it very often. He doesn’t want to admit to any weaknesses. If you watch him closely enough you’ll notice him rubbing his joints or squirming in his seat. Those are his biggest tells with his pain.

At 7 he was diagnosed with dyslexia and he still struggles to read and code (coding is worth the struggle, reading is not). At 13 he was diagnosed with gender dysphoria. Besides changing his pronouns he doesn’t seem too interested in transitioning (he’ll tell you he doesn’t see a point but in reality he’s afraid of the medical procedures involved). At 15 he was diagnosed with mood disorder not otherwise specified. He was given medication that he promptly threw out but he still attends weekly therapy sessions to try and help.

He doesn’t think it’s doing anything but sometimes it’s just easier to go along with the things expected of you.

Connections:

Bandmates: Rowan can either be the lead singer, guitar or bass/keyboards but the band should definitely be punk/post-punk influenced. I’m super broad within that. Want a sound closer to Pale Waves? Cool, sounds good. You into The Smiths and want that dance depression? kk, you got it. you into old school punk and want melvins vibe? coolcoolcool, love to live hard dude

Friends: Rowan might be a little shit but he’s a little shit who has a handful of friends. Because he’s the youngest sibling in his household, he gets along with older people really well.

Mentors: This lost teen needs people to look up to. It takes a lot to break through to him but he needs someone who’ll try.

Adversaries: These are people who rowan Does Not get along with. This can be for personality reasons or just simply because they try to keep him out of trouble and he wants very much to be in trouble.

Biological Dad: I love the idea of Rowan’s dad watching from the sidelines and watching Rowan grow up but not being able to legally reach out until Rowan is an adult. NOTE: Rowan’s dad needs to be hispanic. Rowan himself is half hispanic and it’s not on his mom’s side bc I wasn’t about to make the brown people abusive and add to that stigma.

Reluctant Romance: Rowan doesn’t want to date. He really doesn’t. BUT! I love the idea of him falling for someone and someone falling for him. I’m even down for an uncomfortable age difference so long as that’s acknowledged in plot. ;)

#atgaintro #atgaooc

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