#ardablacksurvival

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Shoichi:The game is, I'm gonna give you three numbers and you're gonna have to use those numbers to guess the price of these monkey toys.

Shoichi:We've got eight, we've got two, we've got six.

Eleven:I don't want to say he's two pounds...

Shoichi:You're playing to win, don't flatter him. He won't care.

Eleven:Six pounds, eighty-two?

Shoichi:You're wrong. You fool.

Shoichi:Your turn. I got three numbers for you. In reverse numerical order, we got a nine, we got an eight, we got a three. How much is this fucked up fish?

Arda:Two ninety-nine.

Shoichi:Where'd you get the two from?

Shoichi:Where'd you get the ninety-nine from?

Shoichi:You make me sick. I hate being around you, every day I know you're coming in is a day that is full of dread. I don't sleep well knowing I have to be around you.

Eleven:I'm just happy to be here!

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Arda:Two sticks of unsalted butter.

Eleven:They're pretty dang cold.

Arda:Oh, shoot, they're cold?

Eleven:I can put them in my pockets for a while!

Arda:Don't put them in your pockets.

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

(while they're fishing with their bare hands)

Arda:You know the one image of the woman exiting the water with a fish in her mouth?

Jenny:....No?

Arda:Pfft. Well. It exists.

Eleven:Well then you ain't living, brother!

Jenny:I'm not here to baby you, Jenny, you have to find it in your own time and experience it yourself!

Eleven:Educate yourself, Jenny!

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Luke:Do you have any paper?

Arda:I used to have paper all the time, to take pictures of...

Luke:Oh.

Luke:Do you want to go over to the bar? Have some drinks with me and the kid? We've been just talking, having a good time.

Arda:Sure, I think I'm in a stable place where I can start drinking.

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Arda:Shy people always end up hearing that one damn question.

Arda:"You're shy, right?"

Arda:And then you have two options.

Arda:"Just a bit!". Or.

Arda:"I'm shy? What do you think I am a fucking politician to be nice to everybody-"

Arda:You don't have to be that agressive, of course. Guns? Probably not. Knives, switchblades? I always take one out. But just in case.

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Arda:Behind the scenes of Godzilla, 1998.

JP:Man, why didn’t they just have this guy fight him off, he’s huge!

William:I wouldn’t fight Godzilla if I was this dude’s size, for roughly the same reason I wouldn’t fight a komodo dragon at the size I currently am.

Leon:Not even to save New York?

William:What has New York ever done for me?

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Arda:Never ask a woman her age, never ask a man his salary, and never ask Jerry what he was doing in Europe, 1346.

Eleven:But what was Jerry doing in there?

JP:Isn’t that when the Black Death hit?

Eleven:Ohhhh! Right! How did you figure that out?

JP:Rat.

Arda:How do you know when the Black Death started, yet can’t keep up with most conversations?

Eleven:Didn’t he say that Facebook was created by “infojobs” once?

Arda:Mysterious guy.

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Arda:(stirring a pot of macaroni, calmly puts down the spoon)

Eleven:(sitting inside a box as though she is a delivered good, bites into a styrofoam ball)

Arda:Don’t eat the packing peanuts.

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

History TV show:“The Trojan Horse was one of the movements that was most accepted by the public outside-”

Arda:Aside from the trojan people, presumably?

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Luke:”At age ten, Michael Kearney graduated college. Michael completed high school at age six and started college at age eight, obtaining a bachelor of anthropology from the University of South Alabama.”

Arda:....he took a two-year sabbatical. Must’ve been tired.

Luke:Can you imagine looking at the chair near you and seeing an eight-year-old? Who’s acing all the questions?

Shoichi:Think about this, though. Even if we feel bad because we couldn’t be the ten-year-old who graduated college, imagine how the people in his class felt. That would be infinitely worse.

Luke:”Hey, teacher, your son’s sitting in my chair.” “That’s not my son.”

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

“You know what’s two cups? A can of monster!”

Arda:This tiktok is a PSA on the perils of energy drinks. I’ve been there. I’ve been to college. Coke was once my drug of choice.

Arda:

Arda:No. Sorry. Coca-cola.

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Arda:Food. People eat it, they join certain elements of it together in other foods, certain traditions, certain cultures, advancing the food technology more and more, and people now have invented a way to classify different foods under the same umbrelllas. The cube rule of food classification. For when you need to discuss whether hot dogs are sandwiches.

Arda:If it’s loose, it’s salad. If there’s only something at the base, it’s toast. Under and over, it’s a sandwich. Sides and under, it’s a taco. All around, it’s sushi. If it’s only not covered at the top, it’s a quiche. Closed entirely, calzone. Three layers, it’s cake. So hotdogs are tacos.

Arda:A few more examples. Lasagna is classified under cake. Jelly rolls are sushi. Here we have a website giving out more examples, cuberule dot com. Under toast, the popular examples are pizza, nigiri sushi, and pumpkin pie, which is bent toast.

Adela:Surely pizzas are quiches?

Arda:No, it’s not surrounded by dough. There’s crust, but it’s not considered as a quiche.

Rozzi:Bean stews are salad.

Arda:Could be.

Adela:Now are salad wraps sushi?

Rozzi:Yes. And burritos.

Arda:Rozzi, who’s wrapping your burritos?

Luke:Sushi in a cup!

Arda:No.

Luke:Soup?

Arda:Hmmm. I think soup is a salad. Wet salad. Unless it’s in a bread bowl, then it’s quiche.

Rozzi:Are cookies toast?

Arda:I’m not sure. Cookies are usually a single base with things over it, so... most cookies would be toast. Popcorn is salad.

Rozzi:Sandwich cookies are sandwiches. At least something matches up.

Arda:Good segueway, next is sandwiches. Quesadilla, this... toast..... and this cake with a single layer of filling.

Nadine:What would a kibbeh be?

Luke:It doesn’t technically have filling, it’s all one whole thing. Would it be a salad? Or a calzone?

Arda:I believe it’s a salad, if it doesn’t have filling. But if you put something over it, it’s toast.

Rozzi:With the cheese filling it’s a calzone.

Adela:Are pipes sushi?

Arda:Yes, but we’re classifying food. Unless you’re eating the pipes, I suppose.

Sua:What would a popsicle be?

Luke:If it doesn’t have a filling.... I think it’s salad! Saying that felt so weird!

Arda:And here, bonus round of salad... Flan. I think that one’s debatable. With the syrup, I think it’s toast.

Nadine:Water.

Adela:That’s salad.

Arda:Oh, how interesting. They have nachos as a category in the website. A base enveloped in something?

Rozzi:That just sounds like a difficult calzone.

Arda:And under the examples, we have... salad. With crouton. Otherwise salad is salad. Lucky charms are also labeled as nachos. So popcorn isn’t salad.

Sua:What would be the difference between juice and soup?

Arda:According to the rules, they are one and the same.

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Jan:Guys, my dog is bisexual.... She humps her cousin and also my arm...

Lenox:Ohh, my friend’s dog is like that. She gets Murphy, she gets the plushies, even other female dogs.

Jan:Well, good for her. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Lenox:Haha, yeah. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Jan:Apply apple apple apply apple.

Lenox:Appleppleply apple. You like apples?

(Jan’s booming laughter echoes through the room.)

Lenox:That’s how i segueway into flirting!

Jan:Really good segueway! Let’s pretend we’re on a date? I’m going to be Abraham.

Lenox:All right, Abraham.

Jan:But I think Abraham is an old-fashioned name, so my pals call me Vinny. Don’t ask why. Also, I’m a tiktoker. I do tiktok dances.

Arda:Oh, god.

JP:Yay, lore!

Lenox:All right. I’m gonna be an actress. But my name is still Lenox, you’ve got two names already, covering for both of us.

Arda:I’d like to be the waiter.

William:I’m the plant on the corner.

Jan:Cool. Hey, how’s it going!

Lenox:Hiya, how’s it going!

Jan:D’you pick a table already?

Lenox:Yeah, we can do the one I’m sitting on.

JP:I wanna be the kid crying on the background.

Jan:Sure, yeah, this one’s good. (JP starts fake-wailing like a baby) Is that your kid?

Lenox:Oh, no, god forbid. Are you interested in kids?

Jan:Oh, hell no.

Lenox:Agreed.

Jan:I’m a tiktoker.

Lenox:Yeah, ‘s why I wanted to go out with out. I love tiktok dances.

(Camilo goes to enter the room, but stands at the doorway.)

Lenox:I noticed you paint your nails, got long hair...

Jan:Yeah, yeah. Lemme ask, if it’s not too forward, I opened your tiktok profile, noticed you followed Victor Moglia. Are you interested in him?

Lenox:No, no. Been there, done that.

(Camilo starts looking increasingly more confused.)

Jan:Hey, wanna do a tiktok dance?

Lenox:Sure, sure! Now, while we wait for our food? (Arda mouths “what food” towards JP, who shrugs.)

Jan:Yeah, we can go on that corner! Which dance do you like?

Lenox:How about the WAP challenge?

Jan:Sounds good!

Silvia:(passes by) Hey, JP, send over the thing!

JP:Will do!

Camilo:Okay, I came back in the middle of this conversation. I’m so confused.

William:I’ve been confused for most of it.

Lenox:Why’re you guys confused?

Camilo:I went to the bathroom, and when I came back you started talking about tiktok and a guy with long hair who paints his nails! So I was confused!

Jan:I was a tiktoker.

William:Ah.

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Arda:There have been over eight hundred different experiments. Eight hundred different versions of us. How do I know the best version of me wasn’t version 85, or 322, or 558?

Li Dailin:Or 69 or 420?

(Silvia high-fives her.)

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Silvia:Man, Dailin is really not into the class. Right now I’m the best student. I could be the velociraptor!

Arda:...valedictorian?

Silvia:No! Velociraptor.

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Arda:The first college i went to was an old castle, so it was extremely haunted. I had a couple choice encounters, but the funniest story by far is the dude who haunted one of the men’s bathrooms. He would walk up to the stall I was taking a piss in, and just stand there... Sometimes you would see apparition loafers from like the 1800s, which was fun.

Nathapon:What??

Arda:He didn’t do anything else, he just liked to watch people do their business. I don’t know what was up with that one bathroom, he just liked it.

Nathapon:That just sounds like a guy.

Arda:He could just be a creep. I wouldn’t rule it out, every single college has one of those dudes who walks up dressed like he’s from the 1950s.