#as if this world has a bunch of different hughs from other aus

[nachotrash]

hi!!

have some yummy beach hugh

Beach Hugh pictures will never not be funny to me because it’s this larger than life man being observed in his natural habitat like he’s under a microscope

[samanthadalton]

Star crossed lovers (au)

pairings: poppy x mc (bea) 

warnings: throughout this fic (there will be a bunch of parts to it) there will be mentions of substance abuse, homophobia, sexual abuse, violence, NSFW, mentions of abandonment, depression and death including suicide 

reader discretion is advised

(this chapter is more about setting up the basis of the story so is more context than anything else, part 2 will be more interesting I swear 😭, also it’s like 4am so if there’s any gramatical mistakes I’ll fix it later) 

taglist: @somewillwin @save-me-the-last-dance @baexpoppy @cloud9in @simpforpoppy @ognenniyvolk (I’m pretty sure this is my tag list if you wanna be added or taken off for future chapters just ask 😊) 

word count: 3.6k 

Part 1: The introduction

As the sun began to set, the houses along the street began to bask in its warm glow. The neighbourhood is quiet, like always, excluding the occasional car engine rumbling through the roads until they disappear into the distance and once again the silence is deafening. This neighbourhood was your typical suburban type, their structures stood tall and bold. Looking from an aerial point of view, one could argue that it’s almost like the houses have been copied and pasted along the street, they almost look perfect. One theory is that they were purposely made to look like they're perfect because they don’t want anyone to find out their secrets. It’s harder to catch a true glimpse when everything looks flawless.

If you compare the northside and the southside of Greensburg, it makes it seem like they’re living in two different worlds and maybe they are. The polarisation between the rich and the poor only becomes bigger, demonstrated by the high socio-economic backgrounds of those who lived in the north who go to the best schools, have the best jobs and sometimes own more than one house. Compared to those in a low socio economic background in the south, who usually have to work two jobs just to feel some sort of financial stability in their lives or have no choice but to indulge in illegal jobs just so they can feel some sort of power and superiority and have money of course. Only a few in the south are able to lead a straight and narrow life and successfully do it without having to engage in the culture of illegal activities. 

Bea Hughes, a girl who lives in Greensburg is someone who managed to immerse herself in both worlds. She used to be part of the upper class lifestyle but after life fucked her and her family over at the tender age of 8 years old, she was pulled into another world, one that she quickly had to acquaint herself with, because in the south, survival matters. The luxuries she once knew as a kid had disappeared and she constantly lived in a fight or flight situation. Now as her senior year of high school looms ahead, she finds herself still living in a similar situation, but instead of dealing with gangs or her addict of a mother, she had to deal with stuck up rich kids in Greensburg’s most prestigious school, Belvoire, which may have been her toughest obstacle of all. Against all odds, Bea managed to earn a scholarship at this private school when she was 15, and in order to keep her place, she has to maintain a 4.0 GPA, join at least one extra curricular activity and immerse herself into the culture of the school (whatever that meant). 

Even though life managed to be shitty most of the time, there was one constant, one thing that made life worth living, one thing that made her the happiest…

“Crap”, the brunette clung onto the branch of the tree trying to regain her footing after narrowly avoiding her death (or more likely a trip to the hospital). After recovering from her mild slip, she rapped on the window beside her and a few seconds later the window slides open and as she enters the room she trips up on her own feet landing face down on the floor. 

“Real smooth”

Bea chuckles at the snark comment as she looks up and as the sunlight shines through the window, it highlights all the features of the other girl. She was shorter than Bea (although not in this moment since Bea was practically laying on the floor), her facial features were sharp and her strawberry blonde hair fell perfectly around her shoulders. Her plush pink lips were curled up in a small smile as she offered a hand to the girl to help her up. 

“I totally meant to do that” Bea takes her hand and lifts herself off the floor, and after she quickly dusts herself off and grabs the blonde’s wrist pulling her towards her while her other hand settles on her waist. “So how much time do we have?”

The petite girl wounds her arms around the taller girl’s neck and slightly tip toes to whisper, “my dad has dinner with a bunch of investors so he’s not going to be back until midnight”. A huge smile appears on her face as she leans back slightly taking in the appraising look of the brunette. 

“Perfect”. 

Bea moves in to kiss the blonde, passion already igniting as their tongues tangle in a fight for dominance until Bea suddenly pulls away, foreheads touching, eyes blazing with desire as she whispers against the other girl’s lips, “I missed you Pops”. 

The other girl rolls her eyes and unwinds her arms from Bea’s neck, slightly pushing her back and while maintaining eye contact she walks backwards towards the bed and sits on the edge, “shuttup, you literally saw me yesterday” her tone attempting to come across as catty but instead comes out in a more playful manner. 

Bea raises an eyebrow as she saunters to where the girl is sitting and places two fingers under the girl’s chin lifting her face until their eyes meet, “so? I’m suddenly not allowed to miss my girlfriend?” She leans in, her lips ghosts around the blonde’s lips. 

“You talk too much, come on we’re wasting daylight” the blonde grabs Bea’s shirt and pulls her down onto the bed with her as they tussle in the sheets, lips crashing against one another reigniting the same passion from the kiss before. 

“Poppy..” Bea all but moans when Poppy places wet kisses along her jawline and begins biting at her neck. Not wanting her to have all the fun, Bea suddenly flips Poppy over pressing her deeper into the mattress as she ravenously kisses her, as if Poppy is the only one who can satiate her desire, and honestly speaking? She probably is. 

“No more foreplay, I want you now” Poppy breathlessly says, breaking the heated kiss. Bea sits up to straddle Poppy, intertwining both hands with hers and places it above the blonde’s head and grinds on her hips earning a low groan from Poppy. 

“Ask and you shall receive my queen”

In response, Poppy rolls her eyes and her tongue darts out of her mouth, teasingly moving against her own soft lips and as Bea leans in for another kiss her slender fingers move lightly above Poppy’s inner thigh, touching everywhere except where Poppy wanted her the most. After a few pleads from the blonde, Bea finally indulges her desires and they moved in perfect syncopation. 

….. 

After a while, Bea and Poppy collapse into each other’s arms, exhausted but satisfied recovering from their physically demanding rendezvous. Bea lays on her back with one arm behind her head and one arm wrapped around the petite girl who fit perfectly in her larger frame. Poppy relaxes her head on Bea’s chest, feeling lulled by her heartbeat which brings her a sense of calm and security. Bea softly kisses her forehead and looks down at the girl, entranced by her beauty, enrapturing the way her breaths are slightly longer and deeper than usual, the way her hair falls around her face and how her fingers subconsciously ghost around Bea’s stomach drawing lazy shapes. 

Poppy Min Sinclair, a 5’2 blonde beauty who is Bea’s entire world. Everything about her screams perfection in Bea’s eyes. She’s a straight A student, captain of the cheerleading team, and likes to spend time volunteering at her local animal shelter and is secretly an amazing artist. Though her family was one of the richest families in Greensburg, Poppy wasn’t your average highschool rich girl. Though she would often go on regular shopping sprees and refuse to wear anything that wasn’t designer (unless it was Bea’s clothes), she never treated Bea any differently than how others would. She was a bright girl, who was loving, friendly, fierce when she needed to be and extremely loyal. When it was just her and Bea she could show her true self, not pretend to be someone she’s not or play a certain role, she could just simply be Poppy instead of Poppy Min Sinclair. Poppy often felt the gravity that came with her name, especially since that’s all her father pressured her to be, a Min Sinclair. 

Hayden Min Sinclair, Poppy’s father, owned an entire empire of companies, differentiating from technology based businesses to architecture and finance. To say he was a businessman was putting it lightly, he was almost like a god or at least someone who was highly worshipped by business moguls. He built up his family’s name and within a decade he was a force to be reckoned with. Hayden Min Sinclair worked his ass off to lift his companies off the ground because as a person of colour he knew he would have to work 10x harder to get what he wanted. All he ever wants is life for his daughter to be easy, the irony is, that he’s one of the main reasons why it’s so hard. 

He’s a man of honour and pride and has never expected anything less from his daughter, hoping she would keep the dignity attached to the Min Sinclair name and bring it to new heights. So his traditionalist and conservative views means that he’s expecting Poppy to marry a man, who’s also an aristocrat, in which Bea is 0 for 2 for Poppy’s father’s expectations. Hence, Bea and Poppy have to keep their relationship a secret, a way to protect both Poppy and her future but also Bea from Mr Min Sinclair’s wrath. Reputation means everything to the Min Sinclairs and to Mr Min Sinclair specifically, especially after Poppy’s mother passed away when Poppy was 10 after an unfortunate incident of a drunken hit and run which left Poppy permanently broken from the loss of her mother but had all the socialites gossiping about the tragedy for months. To this day Poppy and her father still mourn her loss and Poppy often turns to Bea for comfort, for her companionship could provide the means of making her forget the empty presence of her mother that was left behind. 

They’d known each other since they were 7, when Bea used to live in the very same neighbourhood after the Min Sinclair’s moved into the neighbourhood, and they spent almost every waking hour together, attached by the hip. They were the best of friends and almost nothing could get in their way. Emphasis on the ‘almost’. 

When Bea’s father left Bea’s mother, Isabella when Bea was 8 and her sister Aria was 2, after finding out that Aria wasn’t his child as a result of a one night stand Isabella had, Bea’s family struggled to afford to live in the neighborhood especially since Bea’s father was the breadwinner of the house and their main source of income. After a series of bad decisions resulting in Bea’s mother losing her job as a banker, the 3 girls were forced to move to the south of Greensburg since it was the only thing they could afford. 

Bea and Poppy were still inseparable at this point, either Bea would take 2 buses to go to Poppy’s house or Poppy would call the family’s driver so she could go over the Bea’s. The breaking point for their friendship was the day when Bea’s mother once took the girls to the park when they were 11 and after she had gotten so intoxicated to the point she threw up in front of all the children, and Poppy’s father prohibited Poppy from seeing Bea again. 

“That girl and her family will bring shame to our family’s name, imagine what your mother would say” Poppy can still hear her father’s words ringing in her head from time to time, but everytime she looks at Bea, all her expectations would disappear and she would just simply be happy.

They began dating when they were 14, after Poppy had managed to scrounge up all her courage to kiss Bea on valentine’s day, after the two girls had snuck away to a diner to hang out like they would usually do. Poppy looked as if she was going to pass out from embarrassment when Bea didn’t reciprocate the kiss at first, however in Bea’s defence she was more startled than anything else. When Poppy was about to apologise Bea moved in and gave Poppy a sweet and chaste kiss on the lips and from then they decided they would be together. Bea couldn’t believe her luck when she was able to call Poppy hers, she felt like she didn’t have much to offer Poppy as she had yet to have earned the scholarship to Belvoire, the same school that Poppy had been attending. As well as coming from a troubled family life she didn’t want to implicate Poppy in any way but staying away from her had proven to be too difficult. 

The consequences of their forbidden love was much harder on her than it was on Poppy, still nevertheless she would do anything for Poppy, which was proven time and time again when they have to act like strangers at school. In spite of that, the stolen glances, the stolen moments, the stolen kisses, it made it all worth it. 

“Are you ready for school tomorrow” Poppy’s soft voice vibrated against Bea’s chest. 

Bea lets out a soft chuckle, “What do you think Pops? I’m the school’s lonely girl”

Bea’s reputation at Belvoire could not be worse, in a school filled with entitled brats, it was difficult for her to make any friends considering her economic background. She also couldn’t rely on Poppy and her popularity since she couldn’t be within any vicinity of the girl she loves. Bea and Poppy’s friends had a history of not getting along, and since Poppy couldn’t allow the true nature of her relationship with Bea to come to light, Bea had to deal with all sorts of harassment and bullying from them. Bea often had to remind herself that she was only a target because with money comes a lot of entitlement, especially from snobby teenagers. Moreover, the consequences of her mother’s actions also didn’t help Bea as the stories followed her everywhere, causing all sorts of rumours to spread like wildfire. 

Poppy lifted her head slightly to look into Bea’s eyes, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant it’s the last year of highschool, that means one last chance for us to win nationals and for you to come on top for volleyball.”

As mentioned beforehand, the extra curricular Bea chose to partake in was volleyball, not only did being part of a winning sports team look good on a college application, it also helped Bea with releasing her pent up anger and dominating her competition. Her favourite thing in particular was the smaller group of cheerleaders, including Poppy, who were at every game after Poppy made a compelling argument to the principle about the importance of raising school spirit in all sport related inquiries. Bea would often steal a glimpse at Poppy, who always came up with extra dance moves and cheers, sending secret messages that she was rooting for her girlfriend. 

“One more year of highschool, do you know what that means Pops?” Bea smiled devilishly at Poppy who returned the smile and leaned her face in, lips ghosting around Bea’s. 

“Why don’t you remind me?”

Bea grabbed the blonde’s waist and stole a quick kiss, “One more year means that next year we’ll both be in New York, and we can finally be together for real”. 

“I can’t wait to live off campus with you, we should start looking at places now so we can get ahead and find a good place sin-” Bea cuts her off with a kiss while Poppy smiles, “I hate when you interrupt me with kisses”

“No you don’t”

“You’re right I don’t, but you better not slack this year Bea Hughes otherwise I’ll beat your ass if you don’t get into Columbia”

“I would never, I’m literally a better student than you babe. I would say you shouldn’t slack either but we all know daddy’s going to help you get into NYU.”

Poppy playfully slaps Bea on the arm who just laughs, “hey, no way in hell am I going to use the Min Sinclair name like that, when” (she made sure to put extra emphasis as she spoke) “I get into NYU it will be because of how amazing and talented I am” 

“Not to mention damn right gorgeous and smart and incredibly flexible”

Poppy moves to straddle Bea, hands on either side of her head and she leans in, “hmm, you think the admission office will be looking at those particular things?” her tone teasing and inviting. 

Bea attempts to move her head up only for Poppy to quickly place her perfectly manicured hand around her neck and push her down, Bea’s eyes flash as her voice pulsates with desire, “well I’ll definitely be looking, for educational reasons of course”

Poppy breaks out into a wide grin as the girls share a passionate kiss, tongues tangled together as they fight for dominance, Bea tries to envelop Poppy’s entire mouth with her kiss but Poppy’s unrelenting perseverance pushes through as she tightens the grip around Bea’s neck, pushing her deeper into the mattress. Bea succumbs to Poppy’s kisses and allows the blonde’s tongue to explore the inside of her mouth, getting lost in the wave of pleasure that emanates from Poppy’s lips. 

After a few more kisses, Bea looks at the digital clock sitting on top of Poppy’s dresser, “damn it’s getting late I should go”

“Wha- it’s barely 10 o’clock”, Poppy pouts as her eyebrows furrow slightly. 

“I know” Bea places a hand on Poppy’s face gently brushing against her cheekbone, “but you need your 8 hours of sleep and I gotta make sure everything is ready for Aria tomorrow”. 

Poppy sighs defeatedly as she knows how important Bea’s half sister is to her, she’s practically an older sister to Aria and is also incredibly protective of her too. “Well tell Aria I said hi”

Bea moves to stand and Poppy grabs her hand, “wait, you didn’t tell me, how’s your mom?”

Bea nonchalantly shrugged and gazed at the floor, “same old, same old, she drinks herself into oblivion not giving a shit about the rest of us” 

Poppy rubbed comforting circles on Bea’s hand, “don’t worry Bea one day it will get better” 

Bea lets out a humourless laugh, “I’ve been saying that for almost 10 years”

She stalks over to the window and lets half of her body hang out ready to reach out to the tree, Poppy moves over and gives Bea one last lingering kiss, “You know you can use the front door, my dad’s not here”

“Yeah I know but it’s always so awkward when I run into Rita at this time because she knows that I’m screwing you”, Bea smiles while Poppy raises an eyebrow

“Screwing me?”

“Sorry I meant making love to you” she gives Poppy a quick kiss 

“Much better, and anyways Rita doesn’t care, she’s been rooting for us this entire time”

“It’s okay, don’t worry P, I’ve been climbing in and out of these windows and over that gate for years, how else do you think I got these muscles”, she flexes her toned arms while Poppy runs a hand over them, “I love you”

“I love you too”, Poppy watches as Bea moves out of the window, gripping the tree and making her descent, “wait” she shouts down, “where did you leave your bike?”

Bea smiles up at her, “I parked it a couple of blocks away from here it’s fine, I’ll text you when I get home” she blows a kiss to Poppy and begins making her way over the gate and into the street which shone bright from the lampposts. Poppy sighs and closes her window and begins getting ready for bed until a knock at her door catches her attention. Rita, her nanny and keeper enters the room and looks at Poppy with a knowing glance, ‘Bea didn’t want to stay for dinner?’ 

Poppy laughs slightly and shakes her head, “no she had to get home to make sure her sister is okay”

Rita leaves a plate with a few cucumber and cheese sandwiches on the dresser, “don’t stay up too late Miss Min Sinclair,” and with that she gives a little wave and leaves the room closing the door behind her. After eating half of her sandwich and going through her extensive nighttime routine, she receives a text from Bea

💖 B

Just got home now 

Love you and goodnight my love

Poppy smiles at her phone and then sets her phone on her dresser, not before putting it on charge, and drifts off to sleep. 

Bea on the other hand was wide awake. When she safely parked her motorbike near her house and texted Poppy as she entered the house. She looked up from her phone into the dark room to see the tv quietly playing while her mother was passed out on the couch with a half drunk bottle of vodka on the table. She moved towards the couch covering her mom with a blanket and then went into her bedroom to check on her sister who was soundly sleeping in her bed. Bea headed into the kitchen took some cold pizza from the fridge and did some last minutes checks to make sure both her and her sister were equipped and ready for school tomorrow. She settled in her bed, her mind racing with thoughts about school and how challenging the first day back will be. 

read part 2: 

[jackalgirl]

Come Join my Cult

So I was chatting with @kourumi the other day and I made a point that I think everyone might enjoy. If you're already familiar with quantum mechanics, just skip to The Upshot.

The Background

The Everett, or Many-Worlds formulation of quantum mechanics, is an answer to the classical paradox of quantum mechanics according to Schrödinger's equation about the state of a quantum system, which boils down to this: if you just use the equation to try to figure out what the state of a system is, what you get is probabilities, not a definite answer. It's not until you actually measure the system that you get that definite answer, and once you've done the measurement, that's the only answer you get.

Schrödinger himself was uneasy about this -- feeling, like many scientists (and Scienticians) who were familiar with classical Newtonian physics, that there should be some definite way to predict the outcome and be correct 100% of the time. Hence his thought-experiment about the cat in the box, whose state you cannot determine until you look in the box.

The Copenhagen (and OSI) formulation of this states that the cat (or particle) is in a state of being both things at the same time (e.g., alive and dead), until you, through observation (you open the box) "collapse the waveform (probabilities)" into a definite answer. This is what "quantum superposition" is -- the idea that a quantum system could be in multiple states simultaneously.

This, still being pretty unsatisfactory to a lot of people, has led to a feeling that somehow Schrödinger's equation is incomplete. There is something that is missing, maybe a hidden variable or something, that if we only figure it out, we'll be able to use a modified version of the equation to know, 100% of the time, what the outcome will be in advance.

(The other implication, which you'll see in a lot of places on the Internet, is the assumption that there is something magical or divine about human consciousness -- that we, as the observer, are somehow responsible for the outcome.)

The idea that Schrödinger's equation is incomplete is, in my fic, the position of OSI. For most people (including Max), they don't go that far into quantum mechanics. In fact, they ignore quantum mechanics for most people -- it's only the most devoted, most fanatical inner core that would be trusted with this information. Max is a smart guy who's gotten it around the edges.

Along comes Hugh Everett, who essentially said "No, Schrödinger's equation is absolutely complete. There is no superposition. What happens is that the universe splits into two different universes, each in a specific state. What you get from the observation is the identification of which one you're in."

In my fic, Aethel's corporation (SEPA) has a culty inner circle, and for them, Schrödinger's equation is The Grand Equation. It drives what they call Yggdrasil, but for them Yggdrasil is not the "world tree" of Norse myth -- it's the Worlds-Tree of Everett's Many Worlds formulation. It is what the Max in The Journeyman sees when he goes on his drug-fueled vision quest on Scylla (and that almost kills him).

The Culty Upshot

Here's where I get extra culty: for me, the ultimate expression of this is that everything we know and experience is the Worlds-Tree.

Let me back up a minute: think about what you're doing when you think about how a situation that could go a bunch of different ways. You could hold separate models of those situations in your mind and be comparing and evaluating them. But how much processing power would that take? How much hardware (i.e., brain material) would it take to hold several competing models of the world in your head for you to compare and evaluate?

What I'm saying is that the hack of human consciousness is that instead of having to maintain that enormous amount of wetware do it, that what we do instead is span branches of the Worlds-Tree with our minds: we can observe those other worlds in which those other situations are actually occurring, and we know that they are out there because of Everett's Many Worlds.

And by extension (warning: about to get super woo-y here): all your Outer Worlds, Fallout, whatever AUs and worlds are real. They are out there, in the Worlds-Tree, and your special superpower is that you can perceive them. Have you ever gotten the feeling that you're peeking in on something when you're thinking about your characters in a particular scene? You are! Or that you're waiting for your characters to tell you something about themselves? You are! Or that you have a special friend in some other place whom you understand, and who understands you like no one else does? You do!

So, to me, there's no reason to get upset about someone else's characterization of a particular character or their interpretation of the motives of a character or group or whatever. They're just seeing a different branch of the Tree. It doesn't invalidate the branch that you're seeing -- that's your branch. And if someone gets upset at you, you can safely ignore it. They just don't know about the Worlds-Tree yet.

By the way, if you think this is all bullshit, that's fine too. It's probably bullshit somewhere. ; )

Recommended Reading for the Cult of the Worlds-Tree:

Something Deeply Hidden, by Scott Carroll

Anathem, by Neal Stephenson

(links to directly to the authors' websites)

The former is a very accessible explanation of the Many Worlds formulation of quantum mechanics. The latter is -- well, I can't really describe it without giving away the plot. But that idea about the consciousness hack is all Neal's. It is a life-changing book and you should read it.

[zetalial]

FMA fanfiction recs!

Hey, so in my recent fma survey, I asked people for FMA fanfiction! And they delivered, yay! Thank you. I decided to make them into a nice list for all to see.

You’re very sweet, Anon but I’m afraid it’s already too late. This ended up quite, quite long. And I’m amazed at how long some of these stories are - if you’re looking for stuff to read, hopefully this list will occupy you for a while, (especially if you check some of the author’s other works). 

Most of these I have not read, but hey, they were recced so they’ve got to be good, right? Range of ships and stories from both canons. I’ve included the ships but haven’t included ratings so be warned that some of these may be explicit. (The author will probably indicate it themselves though.)

Full list under cut!

-Fullmetal’s Company by Roseveare | 18434 words | Gen, takes place pre-series. | Ed should have never flashed the silver pocketwatch in a warzone.

-A Wicked Game by Tierfal | 59921 words | RoyEd, Modern!AU |  Roy has lucked into the all-expenses-paid vacation of his dreams – all he has to do is convince a bunch of happy couples that he's head-over-heels in love with Ed Elric. What could possibly go wrong?

-Be light from now on by Merel | 2363 words | GreedLing, Modern!AU |  “Let’s go inside, sweetheart.” Cat café

-Number 28 by Sevlow | 63347 words | Gen, Parental RoyEd, divergence |  As of today, Edward Elric had been missing for four months, two weeks, and five days. Warnings for angst, some gore, and Chimera!Ed.

-In the Gaslight by UnorthodoxCreativity |13542 words | RoyEd |  Ed hates military parties. This is no surprise. But when a certain bastard of a colonel takes it into his head to make Ed's night a happier one, well. Ed's not complaining.

-Through the Gate by PreelikesWriting | 3 part series totalling  252736 words | Harry Potter crossover with BH Ed Pre-promised day covering books 5-7 of the HP books. Last part is still incomplete. |  Edward is transported to the Wizarding world and must fight his way back home.

-Playing God by the Flamel Cult | 44445 words | Harry Potter crossover  |  I thought the dull aching was something other than my demise. As it turned out, I was sorely mistaken. Perhaps I should listen to Alphonse more; maybe then there wouldn't be another bloody tragedy that would, inevitably, end it all. For good.

-snipers solve 99% of all problems by silentwalrus | 134066 words | Harry Potter crossover, incomplete post-Promised day | Ed had thought, after the whole Promised Day, homunculus, entire country harvested for alchemical batteries thing, the batshit quotient of his life would have settled down some. He really ought to have topped out the meter with that one. But no. The bullshit is just getting started.“Are you fucking kidding me,” Ed demands. “The wizards?”

-Harry Potter and the Eastern Sage by LiteratureWork | 141609 words | Harry Potter Crossover Brotherhood incomplete |  Nicholas Flamel was famous for creating the philosopher's stone, but like Lockhart's smile it was all a lie. Flamel stole a part of the stone and it took Edward 642 years to get it back along with the souls inside of it, one which was his brother. But after traveling to Hogwarts to retrieve it, Dumbledore has other plans for the ancient hero.

-Reversed by Autzulfrost | 162206 words | Harry Potter crossover post 03 anime |  At the end of the first anime, Ed is sent back to London. But he's a kid again and through a twist of fate gets involved with the wizarding world. Will the alchemist help save wizarding Britain? Will he find a way to return to his home and true family?

-Stray Hayate by Famousfault | 3436 words| Harry Potter crossover |  Hayate had no idea how he had ended up there, but he had no other choice but to accept the situation. Harry at the other hand is not quite as satisfied with it.

-Demon Alchemist by Metisket | Series, 88462 words | Brotherhood divergence covers whole series | Al died in the transmutation. In which Ed becomes Central's local vigilante, thereby becoming Maes's problem. Roy finds something poetic in this.

-No Crueler Punishment by Gomboc123 | 2504 words | Post-promised day humour |  Instead of taking away Roy's vision, Truth decides to take something much more precious from Roy, and defaces him in the worst way possible.

-The Bond we Share by DiaHonkers | 23750 words | What if Brotherhood where Ed and Al share a body incomplete |  The Fullmetal Alchemist was a weird person. He joined the military at only 12 years old. But the weirder thing about him was that he changed personalities in the blink of an eye. One moment he could be screaming his head off at you and the other he would be profusely apologizing. He would constantly talk to himself, and his commanding officer didn't bat an eye. But what they didn't know that it wasn't just one person. It was two.

-Another Journey by Isil'zha BLZ | 254486 words | Whole series rewrite. |  The Elric brothers embark on another journey, but this time it's different than the ones they've been through before. A reimagining of the FMA story that combines elements from both anime to create what is (hopefully) the best of both worlds.

-A boy named Ed by BelloftheSea | 302732 words | Post-canon but Ed is young again without memories of his old life. Incomplete |  Ed knew he was different. It wasn't just that he was smarter than the other kids or even that he had automail. No, it had more to do with the way people would occasionally look at him, like they were expecting somebody else. It was the way his mechanic cried the day she met him. It was the way his dad would sometimes slip – and call him Fullmetal.

-Nothing Gold by Rydia Highwind | 23230 words | EdLing Post-canon, AU ending |  Ling has gained immortality. Ed has not.

-Unto the Shores of Acheron by LAXgirl | 99904 words | Gen, post 03 AU |  Everyone thought Edward was dead. But when someone tries to resurrect him, no one's prepared to deal with the soulless look alike that's created instead, or its hurt and anger when his original half unexpectedly returns from the other side of the Gate.

-Nequitia Est Manus by Azei | 103304 words | Divergence story incomplete | Madame Christmas meets a blonde brat with a fondness for drinking all her whiskey and giving her more headaches than Roy ever did. AU in which Ed fakes his death at the end of episode 26 and uses it as a means to stop Father's plans from the sidelines.

-Beast of a Burden by Shoulderpads | 66416 words | Diverges Pre-canon, BH incomplete |  Alternate universe where Ed and Al don't get the chance to try and bring their mom back before they're taken to the labs as subjects for chimera experimentation.

-The Colours of the World by MaiKusakabe | 114228 words | Harry Potter crossover Post Promised day, incomplete |  When Roy Mustang went to retrieve his eyesight from Truth, he wasn’t expecting to end up doing a job in exchange. It couldn’t even be an easy job, of course, because Edward’s assessment of Truth was a pretty accurate one.

-Confirmation Bias by Cryogenia | 3327 words | RoyEd vague timeline. | (No summary) 

-Phylactery by Shade40 | 250666 words | Post-Promised day AU, incomplete |  Six years after the Promised Day, Selim is Homunculus and child. As he studies alchemy, Selim realizes it is possible to resurrect his family. The Homunculi deserve the same second chance that he was given, but while they struggle to embrace their newfound humanity, an unknown player comes with a deal that divides them. Post-FMAB with bits from 2003 series.

-Inhuman Beings by wllw | 3173 words | Mid BH, Pride + Kimblee centric |  At the edges of his vision, the shadows followed him.

-The Twelve Days of Disaster by  MEOW-I'm-A-Dog | 47932 words |  A series of oneshots about Christmas that go from crack to full cocaine. Written on a whim, not to be taken seriously unless you want to. Characters: Breda, Ed, Al, Havoc, Fuery, Hawkeye, Falman, Mustang, Hughes and the occasional Armstrong

-At Gate’s Edge by Winds of Water | 455478 words | RoyEd 03 AU where human transmutation went awry and Ed is a ghost. Incomplete |  Love's never easy as it is, but it's twice as hard when you're separated by life and death.

-Grand Arcanum by The-Immortal-Moon | 343781 words | Series AU and roleswap blending 03 and BH. Incomplete |  Brothers Edward and Alphonse tragically lose their bodies in a failed attempt at human transmutation. Now, they partner with their childhood friend, Winry, and scour Amestris in search of the Philosopher’s Stone.

-Abandon All Hope, Ye who enter here by Anonymous | 17171 words | Dark! Au from end of 03. Ed being held by Dante. NonCon. |  Everything went wrong. Al is gone, Dante has the Stone, and Ed is a prisoner to the fanciful whims of his new captor.

-Love Can Melt the Ice by Winryofresembool | 63640 words | EdWin Modern!Au |  Edward Elric, a hockey player from Amestris, participates in his first ever Olympics. The only thing he's planning to get from there is a gold medal. However, when he accidentally bumps into a childhood friend, a talented figure skater Winry Rockbell, he learns there are things bigger than hockey.

-Our Embalmed hearts, our desolate kingdoms by spooky_bee | 155853 words | Neon Genesis Evangelion fusion with FMAB RoyAi | "He leans back, palms connecting with the concrete, and looks up over their city, their desolate kingdom. In the rain, Central City might as well be the ruins of Xerxes, empty and grey, and he and she may as well be the last two people on earth."Or, Love in the Time of Giant Robots

-Talking With Ghosts by em-witchwood | 2801 words | EdRiza, Post FMA 03 |  Out of all of them, she was probably the only one that didn’t regret all the things she had never said to him, because she’d said all that she wanted.

-We That Are Young by Stoplight Delight | 277131 words | Pre-canon |  It's a well-known fact that innocents make poor soldiers. Fortunately, Riza Hawkeye's childhood was not entirely innocent. She had to grow up fast... though she wasn't the only one. The early years of the Colonel and his First Lieutenant.

-Tempest by Bookwrm389 | 16810 words | Gen, vaguely mid-series Parental RoyEd |  Ed is adamant that he doesn't need a father. And it's only when he's about to lose the closest thing he has to one that he understands how very wrong he is.

-Flames of Consequence by EnviousMonster | 67018 words | Gen, Envy lives AU post BH. Incomplete |  Where Envy survives and is given a second chance to become something more than they were made to be. Will contain depictions of violence, emotional and mental duress, etc.

-Stock Market Crash by VIKAN | 29301 words | Gen, vaguely canon timeline |  Stranded in the middle of the Eastern Desert, Roy Mustang must try to get himself and a concussed Edward across it safely before he completely loses his mind.

-Mendacium by ChaoticClueless | 15558 words | My Hero Academia crossover with BH Ed. Incomplete | Edward didn't want to help Truth. He didn't want to go to a different world to defeat yet another Father. He didn't want to become a vigilante there.He also wanted his brother back. The choice was obvious, even if Truth is a massive asshole.

-Reverti Ad Praeteritum by Batsutousai | 288908 words | EdRoy Timetravel story, BH |  Unwillingly forced to serve as a human trial for a crazy alchemist experimenting with time travel, Edward Elric finds himself standing across from Truth in the moment it takes his leg from him. Armed with the knowledge of what's to come and burdened with guilt for the choices he'd made as an adult, Ed sets out to fix every mistake he ever made and save every life they ever lost, no matter what it takes.

-Best Kept Secret by MoonStarDutchess | 523815 words | RoyAi BH canon-compliant incomplete |  What if Roy and Riza were secretly married through the entire series? This story tells you that.

-Ash Like Snow by Laora | 6723 words | Harry Potter Crossover |  His sanity is crumbling away, but then, so is the entire wizarding world.

-Penance by Laora | 125965 words | Harry Potter Crossover around Promised Day |  The Gate was opening; the black arms stretched toward him and Pride. Ed knew he had no say in the matter. He would be pulled to this parallel dimension, alternate universe—whatever it was—and Amestris would be left to die. Truth merely grinned.

-Jiǔ by agentcalliope | 3131 words | Roy-centric piece, RoyAi |  the nine steps Roy Mustang takes towards acceptance

-Homefront by hlwim | 50895 words | BH AU, some RoyAi |  Miss Riza's arrival in Resembool has the potential to ruin everything.

-Infernia by mitsys | 3899 words | Royai, Pacific Rim AU |  Some stories aren't told in headlines or newspapers, but in the touch of hands and minds. They linger together in the Drift, lines melting together into the seams, and they don't mourn the lost letters. They've been writing their story long enough to do it without words.

-Wooden by tobu_ishi | 1928 words | Gen, Post 03 anime, Ed in other world |  He never realized how useful automail could be until he was an entire world away from it, or what a pain simple daily tasks could become.

-Mirrorworld by Tramontana Keeper | 305134 words | EdHei, Pre-CoS AU |  Ed managed to prove that he was truly from a different world, and Alfons finds himself captive in Ed's dream of opening the Gate. 

-Fragile Worlds by The Prettiest Frog in the Pond | 5635 words | Gen, 03 anime AU |  He'd been stuck in this place for months now, but no matter what he says, nothing changes. He's Edward Elric. He's been Edward Elric all his life. So why won't they believe him?

-One Foot in by Firewind | 7008 words | Gen, 03 anime AU |  Envy shows Ed why it's unwise to break a deal with homunculi.

-The Circle by Elfpen | 3007 words | Gen, promised day |  Edward Elric teaches alchemy at Central University. A particularly horrible student leads them down a path of dark discussion, which somehow, leads Edward back full circle.

-Ignis Fatuus by Mikkeneko | 5787 words | Gen. |  Edward attempts to break apart a chimera made from an animal and a child.

-Abstention by Asidian | 11117 words | Vague timeline |  An assignment to snow country under Colonel Mustang is bad enough for the damper it puts on the Elrics' search for the Stone, but downed supply lines lead to cut rations, and Ed discovers that he can't take the deprivation as well as he'd like to pretend.

-Never break the chain by haganenobeato | 4199 words | RoyAi BH, vague timeline | The nights were not kind to Riza Hawkeye. Sleep felt elusive following the failed operative to capture a homunculus after Gluttony swallowed the Colonel whole with Edward alongside him. Before she could gather her bearings and make sense of what was happening, Mustang’s men were transferred at different cardinal points in Amestris with herself at the center as Bradley’s assistant.As for him… he had been changed.

-Men and Angels by Laora | 56333 words | Timetravel AU |  Trisha can't understand; she's terrified, but she has to stay calm. Her boys are gone, replaced by her sons from the future...and something, she knows, is terribly wrong.

-The Really Ridiculously Good Looking Summer Festival by VerboseWordsmith | 45594 words | Modern!Band!AU RoyEd |  Quasi-indie newcomers, Fullmetal Alchemist, just hit number one with their second single on the Amestris Hot 100 Rock chart and they've been added to the lineup of this summer's Transmuted Tour.

-To Love is to Sacrifice by Konfessor2U | 6372 words | Edvy, BH |  Edward is held captive as a human sacrifice and Envy is set to watch over him.

-Not in His Job Description by alightintheshadows | 1331 words | Gen, BH Post-promised day, Parental Roy |  General Mustang receives visitor much too early on a Sunday morning, but he doesn't mind in the slightest.

-Aftermath by Asidian | 32148 words | Elricest, vaguely post-series |  Not even a year after Al receives his new body, Ed requests a mission that will take him far from his brother's side. When things go terribly wrong, they must pick up the pieces together.

-Ignis Aurum Probat by writing_addict | 34827 words | How to train your dragon AU, FMAB, incomplete | Edward Elric is born early into the dead of winter, on an island twelve days North of Hopeless and a few degrees south of Freezing-To-Death. He comes into the world sickly and small--and endlessly defiant, burning with the kind of rage that can shake the foundations of the universe. The gods themselves hear that scream, that roar of fury and thunder promising to remake the world as they know it, and wonder. Fifteen years later, Ed brings down the Night Fury that's been plaguing his people for generations, stands over it with the perfect opportunity to make the kill...and spares it.

-Satellite by SpicyReyes | 103170 words | EdRoy, Timetravel, BH incomplete |  A rogue alchemist, desperate to restore the alchemy of the famous Fullmetal Alchemist, pushes Truth into playing a new game - one that has Edward Elric waking up on the floor of his house where a transmuted abomination should have been, just in time to save his younger self and brother. He might have a chance to do everything again, now, though...He would never hold anything but bitterness for the title of 'dad,' but maybe an older brother could make things better.

-With Eyes Anew by Rider_of_Spades | 500 words | LustScar FMA 03 | "She’s not your second chance– she’s your first." On the implications of being in love with a Homunculus.

-Son of the Desert by ShanaStoryteller | 10445 words | Ishvalan!Ed AU, BH EdRoy | Every time Edward sees the circle on the back Mustang's hand, he wants to scream, wants to reach across the desk and shake him, wants to wrap his hands around the older man's throat and ask if it was worth it, if this desk and his rank is worth the screaming, crying, writhing, burning bodies of his people-

-Tears and Rain by BeautifulFiction_FMA | 196772 words | RoyEd FMA 03 vague timeline |  When Ed stops an assassination attempt on Roy's life, he foils one of the opening moves in a massive military intrigue. Can he and Roy stay one step ahead of those who want them dead, or will they both lose the fight to survive?

-The Lost Language of Swans by Mirabella | 2258 words | Elricest, Wingfic Post-series |  They smuggled Al out of Central and back to Rizembul, where they rented a small house with room for Ed's books and Al's wings.

-For the night has been unkind by CoolJellyBean25 | 159980 words | RoyEd PostBH AU, Incomplete |  Even with the straitjacket off, Ed never feels like it's really gone.

-conflicted by the very air i breathe by writing_addict | 149707 words | some RoyAi, BH AU, incomplete |  Edward Elric vanishes after what was supposed to be an ordinary mission. A year later, Roy Mustang gets a call that changes everything.

-World without Roy by Manalfedz | 41482 words | Gen, BH AU, incomplete |  Wherein...Roy tries not to freak out in an alternate world where everything has gone horribly wrong.

-A sudden alchemy by LadyMerlin | 5388 words | RoyEd Modern!Au |  The one in which Roy is a Knight in Shining Armour

-A Pyramid Scheme by PhantomRose96 | 1662 words | Gen, immediately Post!BH | “Why didn’t you run?”   “Sorry?”  “Why didn’t you run away, Fullmetal?”

-From Ashes by JordannaMorgan | 22864 words | Gen, canon-compliant set right after the human transmutation attempt. |  Edward and Alphonse had a long journey to make before they ever left home.

-Babylon by BeautifulFiction_FMA | 261096 words | RoyEd, post FMA 03 AU |  Two years after retrieving his brother's body from the Gate of Truth Edward Elric is still paying the price. Will his debt ever be repaid, or will it finally cost him everything?

-Havoc’s Foolproof Plan by 1stTimeCaller | 9187 words | vague timeline, some RoyAi shiptease. |  Havoc's love life is constantly interrupted by his womanizing boss. So he decides to try it on with the one woman who is immune to Mustang's charm.

-The Ordeal of Being Known by budgeWrites | 20254 words | FMA 03 AU LustScar Lust and Scar both live, Incomplete |  On conquering demons, remembering how to live, and coming home.

-Focus by Sevlow | 37665 words | Gen, vague timeline |  Mustang, Edward, and all the other Alchemists of fair Amestris are starting to lose their grip on their own minds and bodies. The Amestrian military is in chaos as dozens of its higher-ranking officers start losing their minds to an unknown sickness.

[beanmaster-pika]

I ended up getting encouraged to talk about my aus so thank you all for enabling my self-indulgence

Swan Prince AU

This one’s the first one? And it’s more of a royalty AU, actually. Licht vacations in the Servamp kingdom every summer but one day he gets cursed by an evil magician (Touma) to turn into a swan. Hyde, who’s the same age as him and therefore his designated playmate when they were kids, recognizes it’s him and freaks out because if the Jekylland kingdom finds out they let this happen then there could be a war and no one wants that thank you very much.

I’m actually more interested in worldbuilding than the plot so :/ For reasons I have not thought up, there’s the ‘older bunch’ of Servamps (Kuro to Freya) and the ‘younger bunch’ (Hyde to Lily) and there’s like a ten-year age gap between the olders and the youngers, and then there’s Tsubaki, who’s twelve and illegitimate. Kuro inherited the throne at 17 when their dad disappeared and by the time Tsubaki’s mother showed up a couple years after with a baby that had the last king’s eyes, the kingdom had stagnated. However, a baker named Mahiru starts showing up at the castle to petition the king, and he appears so frequently and his words are so sensible (”He’s got to have studied statecraft,” Hugh declared. “There’s no way he hasn’t.”) that Kuro’s siblings up and offer him a job as the king’s advisor. After many arguments and finally a heart-to-heart where Mahiru learns that the last king once allowed Kuro to make a decision that almost led the whole country to war, they start to work towards understanding each other and cooperating and it’s tough, but by the time the present story rolls around the kingdom is flourishing. 

The older bunch all hold a place in court; Hugh is a minister of internal affairs, and he, Kuro, and Mahiru are at the heart of the kingdom’s laws; Jeje is the most knowledgeable about magic, especially curses, and works as both a consultant and investigator, though he’s sent to the Alicein kingdom along with Lily (16 at the time of the story, two years younger than Hyde) to serve as ambassadors and tutors to the king’s sons; and Freya’s the head of the army and the most terrifying person in the kingdom. The people love her. There’s a more even distribution of power than there was before Kuro inherited the throne - Mahiru’s influence and Kuro’s reluctance to be in charge of literally everything see to that - and provincial courts have juries put in place so that people are no longer solely at the mercy of sometimes corrupt judges.

On a different note, Hyde starts out as a sweet kid, but when his friend-and-maybe-crush Princess Ophelia two kingdoms over dies when he’s sixteen he goes wild in his grief and takes up with a group of bandits and starts hurting people. When confronted by his siblings, he declares that if the world is so cruel as to take Ophelia’s life, then his actions are just a drop in the bucket. Now, this is very much wrong and a problem, so Kuro manages to seal him temporarily into hedgehog form for a month (EDIT: yes he can normally transform into a hedgehog, no Licht doesn’t know at first, yes animal transformation is a common ability in their kingdom, and no the sealing is not a common or easy practice. It’s legitimate grounds for Kuro to self-prescribe absolute bed rest in order to recover from the drain on his energy, and he’s stronger than normal mages and had assistance to boot; a month is the very limit he can achieve with that) saying that if he’s lost his grasp on his humanity, then perhaps he’ll find it again in an inhuman form, and then they drop him off at the summer villa reserved for Prince Licht with Guildenstern as a caretaker. Now, unbeknownst to everyone, Licht arrived for vacation even though it’s midwinter, and he is absolutely taken with the hedgehog that’s wandering through the villa (”Oh Shit,” Guildenstern said. Hyde agreed. This was very much an Oh Shit situation.). It turns out that while he hadn’t known Princess Ophelia personally, he’d had mad respect for her for stepping up to enact a change in her kingdom’s politics even though it had ended in her assassination. He and Hyde end up having furious arguments over ideology (Licht still doesn’t know that Hyde’s there, and he doesn’t connect the voice with the hedgehog) and in the end, he helps Hyde regain his humanity - to be human is to desire, to desire is to dream, and to dream is to push your imagination past its very limits and work for it. That ends up breaking the seal prematurely, much to everyone but Licht’s relief. Licht’s pissed that the hedgehog turned out to be Hyde. And when Licht is cursed to be a swan, well, Hyde’s worried about it affecting relations with the Jekylland kingdom, yeah, but he also wants to do for Licht what Licht did for him: make him human again.

ANYWAY HERE’S THE DOODLES

Teacher AU

Because now they’re teachers.

This one has basically nothing in it yet aside from it being fun to consider what subjects they’d teach (Mahiru’s home ec; Kuro’s phys ed; Hugh’s history; Jeje’s art; Freya’s a counselor; Hyde’s literature; World End’s either a history or foreign language teacher; Lily’s a student teacher; Licht’s a piano instructor now; Otogiri’s the school’s doctor) and what everyone else would be (Tsurugi and squad are bodyguards; Iduna’s an engineer; Tsuyuki’s with the government; Sham’s with the government; Higan’s a wandering artist; Sakuya’s a psychologist; Ryuusei and Koyuki haven’t factored in at all oops; everyone else either has their canon profession or they’re college or high school students). One of the tidbits I actually spared thought to is that Kuro took a couple gap years and ended up in the same freshman Psych 101 class as Sakuya (who at present shares an apartment with Mahiru) and they somehow bonded and even after the class ended they became texting buddies (usually of memes) and hung out from time to time, but then Mahiru (after getting fired from his first school for some sort of reckless behavior) gets hired to the school all the Servamps are gathered at and starts out pretty argumentative with Kuro but eventually they gain a mutual understanding and maybe the beginnings of a relationship and Sakuya puts two and two together from conversations with Mahiru and texting with Kuro that the man he’s in love with might be in love with his texting buddy and he doesn’t know how to deal with that and so stops texting Kuro, and Kuro finds out about it from talking to Mahiru and then this happens

Kuro, throwing a chicken nugget at Sakuya’s window: why are u ghosting me Sakuya, opening the window: can u throw another

And they talk and all is well again. A poly ending is absolutely in the stars because Mahiru loves them both and they agree to it.

Also the other thing is this

Pokemon AU

This is the one I like the most right now! I actually have a couple of chapters written for it that I haven’t posted yet but basically the whole Servamp thing remains, but the pokemon that they transform into actually have their own personalities - rather than a transformation, it’s a shared body thing, and the human form is a manifestation of the vampire (formerly human) soul. I haven’t ironed out all the details of why this is happening, but I like the idea of them never being alone, though I haven’t figured out quite how this will change them. Hyde’s gonna be fun and also painful to figure out.

Fate AU

LET’S GET THIS HOLY GRAIL BREAD

Mahiru’s uncle was going to take part in the holy grail war but Mahiru accidentally summoned instead and what he summoned was Kuro, a Lancer. Add to that that Sakuya is still his best friend, was meant to be a pawn of Touma’s but ended up being Master-napped by the Saber he summoned (Tsubaki), and Tsubaki wants vengeance on Kuro, and we’ve got another round of heartbreaks on our hands because Fate is nothing but heartbreaks. The Alicein brothers are also there, summoning the same Servants (Caster and Archer) that their grandfather and Mikuni’s mom summoned, and they know that the Grail is tainted so they’re out to destroy it. Their backstory is a little tweaked with Mikuni just stealing his mom’s command seals to protect Misono instead of killing her, and he grabs Misono and absconds to the Church where they stay until Mikage ensures that Mikuni’s mom can never hurt Misono again after the War. Misono goes home, but Mikuni goes to study at the Clock Tower and comes back just in time for the next war. (There’s more under the pictures)

Tetsu summons Rider, but his sisters are the masterminds of the operation; they’re doing their best to restore their family in an age of declining mana, and Tetsu’s got the best Magic Circuits among them so he’s tasked with summoning, but they’re operating under the strict principle that if any of their lives are endangered, especially Tetsu’s, then they halt the project immediately and seek refuge with the Church. Hugh’s hyped about the whole ‘restoring the family’s magic’ thing.

Licht, on the other hand, comes from a family that’s at the very height of their magical power. He doesn’t believe in an omnipotent wish granter because he feels that it’s cheating, but to win the Grail is the goal of every mage out there so he’s in it for the glory. For a summoning catalyst he uses a bracelet that was supposed to belong to a martyr princess of old (”She gave her life for her goals,” Licht said in awe. “Yep, it’s very impressive. Please do not do the same,” Licht’s mother said.), but it turned out to belong to the other person connected to her legend, a man who was terrible and cruel, uncaring of others after he was driven mad in grief, and so Licht summons a demon of an assassin and Crantz (regular human) is left babysitting these goons while Licht’s parents hold down the fort in Austria.

Now, the Berserker team. I just want you all to know that the ones I was most excited about is the Berserker team. Tsurugi carried out the summoning here, Touma’s other pawn, and he added a madness enhancement, changing Freya’s class from Shielder to Berserker. Tsurugi, unlike Sakuya, is a highly trained operative and adult and one of the Church’s Executors, and he’s also completely under Touma’s thumb so he’s an ideal proxy even though Touma couldn’t snatch Sakuya’s command seals like he intended to. Unfortunately, Freya’s madness has just released her inhibitions and she’s this fucking close to pulling a Tsubaki and Master-napping Tsurugi. She does her best - in her limited capacity - to get Tsurugi away from Touma and it all culminates in Touma deciding she’s too much of a loose cannon and trying to take Tsurugi’s command seals away, but the seals instead go to Iduna somehow (haven’t figured that out yet) and Iduna and Freya spirit Tsurugi away to help him recover. Shortly after Iduna develops a magic item that’ll dampen the effect of the madness enhancement, more or less reverting Freya to her original class.

Now, this Grail War is an absolute clusterfuck by this point, mostly because all the summoned Servants are siblings, so a Ruler comes in - drum roll please - World End! Because who better to solve a sibling squabble than another sibling, even if he is the third youngest. This is mostly because I want World End to be included in stuff. World End’s in my Pokemon AU. I failed to elaborate on that but since that’s the AU I’m actually writing it’s all good. Anyway they’re all gathered in a sort of war council at a family restaurant to work out their intense family issues and then World barges in ‘WHAT’S UP THIS IS A PRETTY AWKWARD REUNION.’

This actually might be one of my favorites on account of being able to have them all be different physical ages but keeping their age hierarchy since Heroic Spirits can be summoned at whichever point of their lives was significant, and also this means that I can just make up lore for them. In ten, twenty years I’m probably going to look back on this and groan but for now I’m going to have fun with it.

For Kuro, he took down an entire army on his own at age eighteen and then retreated from the world. Hugh stopped a war when he was small (this threat of war surfaced again when he was older; this was when Kuro took down a whole army). Jeje became a famous outlaw. Freya overthrew a government in order to protect her soldiers. Hyde served a princess, but she gave her life for peace, and shortly afterwards his older brother killed their father; Hyde turned cold and cruel after that. World End inherited his sister’s kingdom after she died in battle and stood strong against threats from other kingdoms, displaying sharp wisdom despite his brash personality. Snow Lily used his illusions to carry out a large scale rescue operation on a child trafficking ring. And Tsubaki? Tsubaki was but a man who inherited a sword from his father, then vanished into the night when that same father was killed. He could have - should have - been summoned as an avenger, but for the sake of story convenience and keeping the war to the traditional seven classes, I chose saber for him.

[harpers-tartarus]

question!! i never watched(??) fullmetal alchemist so is there stuff i need to know before i start reading TGS bc i’m very curious :)

LETS DO A LESSON ON THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW GOING IN:

*warning this is long

Fantasy Germany

All right, the biggest thing to know about FMA is that it basically takes place in Fantasy Germany aka Amestris and there’s a lot of references about Amestrians being blond haired and blue eyed as well as being ruled by a Fuhrer

The Ishvalan Civil War

Before FMA began and before the events in TGS there was a war called the Ishvalan War, this war is very important to know about because its why characters are the way that they are. 

Ishval was a region within Amestris that had a very different culture from Amestris (racism and xenophobia was a big thing in FMA regarding the Ishvalans) and Ishvalans are easy to spot, being darker-skinned, having red eyes, and white hair (this is important).

The war between the two began when an Amestrian soldier shot an Ishvalan child, which in turn exploded into riots and protests that eventually led into a war

Several of the main characters were involved in the war, and Roy Mustang is known in Amestris as the Hero of Ishval for his abilities in decimating the Ishvalans forces with a single snap. No one involved in that war was happy about it, and in the fic, Roy is a bit more blatant with his PTSD than Hawkeye or Hughes

Alchemy

In Amestris there is alchemy that is a bit similar to magic, if magic required certain seals to cause certain effects (not to say that it doesn’t, but in this context), these are called Transmutation Circles and are usually drawn on the ground, wall, wherever, with chalk

Alchemy is very important to the story, because it can cause very good things and very bad things, depending on what you’re into

Two 11 and 10 year olds just wanted to bring their mom back from the dead, aka on of Alchemy’s taboos, Human Transmutation

The effects of attempting Human Transmutation are very serious and important to the direction of where those two characters go

for having trespassed in God’s domain with Human Transmutation, the initiating alchemists are essentially called into The Gate of Truth to face Truth/God/The World/The Universe itself. Being pulled through the gate grants alchemists great alchemical and universal knowledge - in exchange for paying a physical toll which usually takes the shape of the body parts “taken” by the rebound - and the ability to perform transmutations without a circle.

Edward and Alphonse Elric

these kids are the main characters and the poor kids go through the Gate of Truth in the worst way. Ed comes out losing a leg and Al loses his whole body, so, of course Ed goes back in, drags out Al’s soul and binds it to a hulking suit of armor

In this world there exists a kind of prosthetic called automail, and its essentially limbs made of steel that connect to the nerves so Ed’s got two of those

Mustang and Hawkeye happened to be in the area when they find the HT circle at the Elrics and its after they meet them that Mustang suggests that Ed become a State Alchemist (what Roy is and what allowed him to skip several ranks in the war effort) because that would give him access to research materials that could help them find the way to get their bodies back.

Ed is an angry spitfire who happens to be a genius at alchemy on top of having a bad temper, and even though Al looks the most imposing as a suit of armor, he’s much sweeter and a lover of cats

Xing

Xing is basically Fantasy China and its across the desert from Amestris and where several later characters are from

The biggest thing you need to know is that Xing is ruled by an emperor and is made up of 50 clans. It takes a few weeks to get from one country to the other

Two of the characters Ling Yao and Mei Chang are half-siblings vying for the same throne and want the secret to immortality, the Philosopher’s Stone, which gets Ling into a spot of trouble with the Elrics in FMA

The Philosopher’s Stone

this is a bit different from HP, and initially there’s not much known about the stone, other than the fact that it destroyed the kingdom of Xerxes in a single night

how the Elrics saw that and thought ‘hey this’ll get our bodies back’ idk

Xerxes

this ancient civilization is where Ed and Al’s dad is from, the ruins are located in the desert between Amestris and Xing

no one really knows all that much about what happened to Xerxes, just that everyone was wiped out

its kinda like Troy in that aspect

idk what else is important for you to know

Major differences in TGS:

Ed, Al, and their dad Hohenheim are all poc because there is no way you can tell me that a civilization in the middle of the freaking desert is full of white people, no, sir, the sun allusions are many in this fic, from their skin, to the golden hair and eyes

Roy Mustang is a bit more parental (a bit, I say, A LOT) in the fic than in canon, while making jokes about Ed’s height, he’s ruffling his hair affectionately

Ed’s probably going to go up a rank in TGS tbh

Ed’s gay, like, very gay, him and Winry (the childhood friend and mechanic) are super gay

SOULMATESSSS

soulmates exist in this au and are platonic or romantic

Roy and Hughes = platonic

Ed and Ling = romantic

ITS EDLING AND THEYRE SO GAY

Lanfan is probably ace tbh and over them both

Marks fade when the other person dies, so if the mark lightens they’re probably dying

The Emperor is a dick

Ling and Mei’s dad used to have 50 kids, but people are prone to assassination in Xing, particularly when one heir wants to end up on top

I’m not lying, I have a list of 50 clans and the names of all the heirs and which ones are currently dead and alive

The Emperor also has the soulmates of his children killed which is why ninja keep trying to kill Ed and he’s confused/annoyed about it

The overall plot?

idk, I don’t think its going to be the same as canon, but there’s probably going to be some parallelism with the storylines, so their alike but not quite

omg and they were roommates!

Eventually Ed and Al are getting a place of their own in Central (to shove their books, Mustang, obviously, god, don’t be a dick) and I need Ling and Lanfan and Fu all living with them, making Ed’s life hell (between Ling kissing him senseless)

you’ll probably see them going on a bunch of missions in the fic while trying to figure out how to get their bodies back

Ed’s hatred of his dad is a thing, but he’s been seriously neglectful of his sons and Ed’s been raising Al since he was freaking five, he’s defensive of him…he’s a bit better in canon, but this is my playground

ED KISSING LING WILL HAPPEN EVENTUALLY 

I don’t know if this helps, but here you go

[secretradiobrooklyn]

SECRET RADIO | 11.14.20

Secret Radio | 11.14.20 | Hear it here.

Artwork by Paige, liner notes by Evan except * for Paige

1. The Wizard of Oz - “Ding Dong” Suite

We were looking for a proper song to get this party started, and damned if it didn’t involve a bunch of delighted munchkins! As much as our hopes for the coming years are muted, the relief at not having to contend with a headlong dictator enjoying full-on democratic support just cannot be overstated. DING DONG Y’ALL!

2. David Bowie - “Look Back in Anger”

I’ve been practicing drums a ton during the pandemic, and I just realized that I’m going to have to spend some time trying to get at this pattern. It’s some of my favorite drumming ever, from one of my top 20 albums ever. In fact, this comes from a very special edition of Lodger, via Brian McClelland, wherein Tony Visconti took the original tapes and completely remixed the album as he always felt it should have been mixed if they weren’t be rushed. To someone who has listened to that record many many times, it sounds like I’ve been next door the album all this time, and I’m finally allowed into the room where it’s playing. So clear and focused and modern!

3. Frank Alamo - “Ma Biche”

A “biche” is a doe, we believe. “It’s something about ‘pretty eyes,’” Paige says, “which would make sense.” Further research, though, reveals that the song is about how much he likes her pretty dark eyeliner. I know the feeling!

4. (Not) Rom JongVak - “Monkey”

Well, this has been a learning process. There’s this great song that I thought was called “Twist (Dance Twist)” by Rom Jong Vak, that we played like a month ago — and then tonight I thought I was playing “Monkey,” by Rom JongVak. Buuut, as I look further, I’m learning that the first song was “Rom Jong Vak Twist,” by Pan Ron… And the song here is I guess called “Rom Jong Vak Monkey,” and I have no idea who it’s by! All of the text on the page is in just boxes where Cambodian text would go, so it’s bound to remain lost. Whoever it is, I sure do enjoy that first aggressive drum fill and the whole weird texture of this recording.

5. Luiz Visconde - “Chofer de Praça”

Paige: “The first times that I listened to this Angolan collection, I really just listened to Os Kiezos, because they did “Muxima.” But then I eventually spread out and found this song. It’s from Angola, between ’65 and ’75.”

6. The Velvet Underground - “European Son”

P: We would go to the Beechwood a little bar around the corner from us in Wicker Park, down the street off Milwaukee Avenue. They had a real jukebox, not a TuneBlast or whatever. It was just a great little dive. They had this record in the jukebox, and we would always put on this song. I suppose that could have been read as an aggressive thing to do, but we’d put on other songs too! It was a good way to stretch your quarters, and it loosens the bar up. And I figured, if they didn’t like this song they wouldn’t put it in the jukebox.

     Once when we were there on a busy weekend night, something was wrong with the jukebox. It was broken. And the bartender opened it up and put like a hundred bucks on it and said, “Everybody play whatever you want, three songs each. It was awesome. Everybody did take turns too, three songs each, all around the bar. It was a really cool night.

7. Fred Astaire - “No Strings (I’m Fancy Free)”

What a lovely piano intro! This song is from the 1935 film “Top Hat.” It’s one of those movies where the clever protagonist pursues a girl he has a crush on — or terrorizes a stranger until she submits to his will, depending on whose perspective you take. There are a lot of those — “An American in Paris” is another — and they’re fascinating to watch just by flipping that switch back and forth in your own head. Meanwhile, both movies are chock full of beautiful shots, fabulous scenes, gorgeous songs, and glowing stars. 

     Something about the quality of this recording — a new master or something? — makes it sound like it was JUST recorded. It feels so alive and contemporary, with a lovely little vibrophone solo in the middle. I just 

Martial Solal, “Breathless” soundtrack - “L’amour, la mort”

Note: I remember this story in the reverse, where the truckers announced this gleefully to each other as they marched merrily OUT the door and into the late afternoon, headed towards… what? Whatever it is, I hope they found it and everyone had a great time.

8. Johnny Hallyday - “Nous quand on s’embrasse”

Have you seen “The Wild One”? Can’t you see how much trouble could have been avoided if those leathered-up motorcycle dudes were able to rock out to songs like this one instead of trying to jazz their way forward? They should have been twisting the night away! Alas, instead they had to tear up bars and beat people up to get their kicks. Tough break, kid.

9. Lokassa Ya M’bongo - “Bonne année”

I found this while searching for something else, but it was labeled “l’Instant Vinyl” in the same format as our Assa-Cica record, so had to check it out. M’bongo is a Congolese guitarist — a rhythm guitarist specifically, which doesn’t normally get the love that lead guitar gets in this soukous form. Lokassa Ya M’bongo means “Lokassa the money man,” and he became a session man in demand. He was a big part of the “Congolo-Paris sound,” a phrase I just read that I’m going to have to look more into.

    Bonne année indeed! Still feeling that relief about hopefully getting out from under the thumb of that giant dummy.

10. Velly Joonas - “Stopp, Seisku Aeg!”

The image of Velly Joonas is pretty heart-stopping: she’s absolutely beautiful, in giant glasses and a striped shirt. The song is so confident and strange in its instrumentation, with keys, organ, fiddle, and a super-tight bass/drum combo. I feel like this could have been a big US underground hit in the ‘90s.

11. Eko Roosevelt - “Kilimandjaro”

Such a sincere song! Eko Roosevelt is kind of hit and miss with me, but when they hit, they get completely stuck in my head! The horn parts on “Me To a De Try My Own” do that to me, and so does the eternal chorus of this song. I love the notes in the bridge as they drop further and further down the scale like they’re descending from the mountaintop. And when he gets to the declarations of love at the end — “I love you, my home! I really do, I really do!” — that’s it, that’s the best.

12. Tonetta - “Yummy Yummy Pizza”

I warn you: look up this video (after you listen to the “broadcast” of course) at your own peril. Not because it’s terrible, but because it is fascinating, and it is just one of SO many. They tease you with tiny shreds of information about this Tonetta person, but never enough that you can get a sense of what the hell is going on with… him? Them? Maybe ask Matt and Brian from Tok about it — they got obsessed enough to record an EP of Tonetta songs, which is how I heard about this all in the first place.

13. Prewar Yardsale - “AU Base”

Paige: I was loading a five-disc changer at Jeffrey’s and something about the cover, the name sounded interesting. I put it on and it’s pretty freakin rad. It stood up to my blind listen expectations. I think this is produced by our friend Matt Mason. 

14. Eugenius - “Mary Queen of Scots”

Matt Mason and Jeffrey Lewis make me think of Schwervon!, which makes me think of the Vaselines who they toured with several times, and that brings me to Eugenius, headed by Eugene Kelly. This was a mainstay in Sean’s room when we all lived together, singing the harmonies and air-drumming along. It remains as satisfying as ever, I’m happy to say.

15. Wednesday Campanella - “Aladdin”

This song is sung in Japanese, not that you’d know from context clues. Tim Gebauer introduced us to this strange Japanese shapeshifter. It was hard to tell if I liked her music or was just amazed by her videos (which you should totally check out). Now I believe it’s safe to say we dig this song. I like how many elements of ‘70s international disco it has, while still sounding super modern. What is weirder to me is that I cannot tell if I would like this song if it was sung in English.

Breathless soundtrack

16. Letti Mbulu - “Mahlalela”

Originally South African, Mbulu managed to escape to the US in 1965 and had a hell of a career. She worked with Cannonball Adderley, Hugh Masakela, Harry Belafonte and Michael Jackson. Quincy Jones said this amazing thing about her: “Mbulu is the roots lady, projecting a sophistication and warmth which stirs hope for attaining pure love, beauty, and unity in the world.” Um, that’s really impressive.

17. Christophe - “Aline”

*Really dig this song, partially I think because it’s in a decent range for me to sing along. I love his desperate delivery and tone of voice. We just learned tonight that Christophe passed away this year at 74 after complications with COVID-19. 

18. Zap Mama - “Brrlak!”

Credit to my dad, Larry Sult, for bringing Zap Mama to our attention. He’s been heavily into marimba music, and played in a marimba band in Bellingham for many years; in fact, he spent many years making the instruments for the band in his woodshop in the basement of their home. Zap Mama is adjacent to that music, though certainly very different. This band comes from all over the world. The main gal was born in &&&&& but found herself in a Pygmy society for awhile, which seems to be where she developed some of those low-high yodels. We saw some footage of her playing, and she did this awesome thing where she held empty airplane bottles just below her lips as she sang, creating a resonance that you can hear here. I love that this whole composition is a cappella.

19. The Buzzards - “High Society”

Years ago, I was whiling away my time in Seattle and stopped into Orpheum Records, right there at the corner where Broadway turns into 10th Ave E. After a half hour of flipping through records I had to know what all the killer albums were that had been playing overhead. Turns out they were all from “The Sympathetic Sounds of Detroit,” a collection of Detroit bands put out by Sympathy for the Record Industry. It was recorded by Jack White and Jim Diamond and it’s full of topshelf tracks, but after all the years, this is the one that we turn out to actually enjoy, and quote, the most. 

    As far as I could tell, there isn’t a version of this song anywhere online, which I personally find disGRACEful!

20. Sleepy Kitty - “Buzzards & Dreadful Crows”

My favorite part of this recording is that I got to sing a couple of guitar parts that I reflexively sing along to on the original.

*This was from a 20th anniversary of “Bee Thousand” tribute show, and we made this recording with Jason Hutto at this studio off Cherokee Street and we recorded a couple others that we did that night. A small run of screenprinted downloads were made. 

Teddy Afro, “Mar Eske Tuwa” credit music

21. Ata Kak - “Moma Yendodo”

Some corrections to what I said in the broadcast: Ata Kak is indeed Ghanian, but I think he might have recorded this in Germany. His is a fascinating little story of determination. This recording comes from a tape that he made about 50 copies of total. It was found by Brian from Awesome Tapes From Africa at a roadside stand in Ghana. He loved it so much that he spent years trying to track Ata Kak down. When he finally did, they found that the original master tapes were all ruined, and Brian’s copy was the only one that they could make a new version from! So that’s what you’re hearing here. 

22. Spoon - “30 Gallon Tank”

Early Spoon is some of my favorite music ever. This is from “A Series of Sneaks,” an album that changed my life pretty much as soon as I heard it. Harvey Danger stopped at a lot of record stores on tour, and at one of them I managed to stumble upon both “A Series of Sneaks” and (I think) Guv’ner’s “Spectral Worship” — what a day! I put this album on in headphones in the van and just listened over and over and over again. Eventually, when our manager announced that we should spend a few weeks between radio festivals headlining a tour with a couple of support acts and asked if we had any ideas, I had a list with Spoon on top and Creeper Lagoon right below that. The tour that resulted was rough for Spoon — they’d just been dropped by their label and were having an understandably rough time — but a fucking thrill for me, because I got to see one of my favorite bands each night. That still stands as one of the absolute highlights of my time in Harvey Danger. Jim Eno is one of the top drummers in my pantheon because he’s such a great composer for the song, and Britt Daniels plays guitar the way I truly wish I did — which he did at the time all on distorted acoustic guitar! 

23. Patrick Coutin - “Fais-moi jouir”

*I meant to put on a different Patrick Coutin song but put this one on by accident and I was like, this is cool, and then I was like “I think he’s saying. . .I think this is pretty. . . explicit. Like Serge and Jane cranked.” As far as I can tell, it definitely is. They don’t teach you these words on Duolingo though. Ha! 

24. Dur Dur Band - “Yabaal”

I mean no disrespect to Dur Dur Band when I say that we didn’t dig the first several songs we heard by them, but this song is undeniable. The groove just digs in and doesn’t stop for anything.

25. Mel Brooks - “High Anxiety”

We’re stepping out on a mixed emotional note, but: we’re not out of the woods yet. I hope we can get through the next couple of months as a nation peacefully and productively, but Paige and I are both in a state of high anxiety about what still seems to be happening daily. Stay safe!

*yet staying optimistic! ’Cause we gotta. À plus tard!

[hawkeyedflame]

tag, i’m it!

RULES: Always post the rules. Answer the questions asked, then write 11 new ones. Tag 11 people to answer your questions, as well as the person who tagged you.

I got tagged for a fullmetally thing by @ladywiltshire​ ~ thanks!!

[readmore because this got really long .-. ]

Do you remember your first time watching or reading Fullmetal Alchemist? What was your first impression? I watched it just this past December (i know, i know) and the second episode made me cry. I proceeded to scream about it to Robyn for the next week and a half. At first I was like “this is kinda weird but it’s cool,” and then by episode 19 I was like “this is the best thing I’ve ever watched and I can’t believe I didn’t listen when my ex tried to make me watch it three years ago.”

Tell us about The Fave™. Do you mean my queen Riza Hawkeye? *deep breath* I...I just...I love her so much. Her strength of character, her commitment to making the world a better place, her realistic attitude, her motherly attitude towards the kids. She’s such a good goddamn person and it physically pains me to know how much blood she has on her hands and how it eats away at her soul. She is so kind and gentle in spite of all the things she’s been through, all the unforeseen and unintended consequences of her choices. Christ, this girl permanently wore one of the most dangerous secrets in the world on her back by the time she was ~16/17. She grew up lonely and estranged from her relatives, had to care for a rapidly deteriorating father, had to find her own path after he died, entrusted her tattoo to Roy in hopes of helping him achieve his dreams (an incredibly serious decision for someone so young), joined the military hoping to make a positive difference, was sent to the front lines of a war by the time she was ~20 to participate in a mass genocide, had to live with the fact that she killed hundreds with her sniper rifle and thousands more indirectly because she gave the deadliest alchemy in the world to a dog of the military. She had to live with all of this pain and suffering that the world forced upon her and she still chose to be by Roy’s side as he made the climb to the top, protecting his back and ensuring that he remained virtuous. She still chose to work every day to make the world a better place. When everything she went through showed her that the world was an ugly, unforgiving place, she chose to make it better instead of laying down and accepting the abuse. I cannot find words to express how much I love and respect Riza Hawkeye. She’s honestly such an inspiring person and if I could have an ounce of the backbone that she possesses, I would feel accomplished.

Do you have a favorite fan work? Fanfics? Comics? Oh god fucking Here Dead We Lie by mebh will haunt me for the rest of my life and probably beyond the grave too. No other work of fiction I’ve read has come close to how badly that fanfic fucked me up. I love anything super angsty, especially with Royai. God I have way too many fics I loved to even begin to list them. I also love literally everything that the artists on here draw.. Everyone is so talented and I am so thankful and inspired. I don’t want to call out specific people because I don’t want anyone I forgot to mention feel bad so suffice to say I LOVE ALL OF THE ART AND FICS.

Hit me with an analysis/opinion you have on the series or characters! Ooh I have one criticism that still irks me! I love volume 15 of the manga, okay? Love it. I wish more than anything that Brotherhood had focused more on Ishval because holy shit that volume made me cry so many times. But Brotherhood did do something I like better than what Arakawa did in the manga, and that’s scattering a few of the scenes from V15 into other episodes of the anime. The scene that really sticks out to me is the one where Riza asks Roy to burn her back. It’s in Volume 15 of the manga but episode 54 of Brotherhood. The reason I prefer Brotherhood’s version is implied audience. Volume 15 is a flashback to Ishval as told by Riza, to Edward. That means that everything we read in that volume is assumed to have also been told to Edward. And I simply cannot believe, not even for a second, that Riza would have told Ed about her tattoo. She may be a realistic and honest person (ex. she told Ed and Al straight up about Shou/Nina Tucker being murdered, while Roy and Armstrong lied about Hughes), but the flame alchemy secret is highly confidential for many reasons, not the least of which it suggests a potential for fraternization. I just really cannot see a situation in which Riza would willingly tell anyone, most especially a volatile teenager, about the array on her back. Brotherhood excised that scene (where she asks Roy to burn her) and transplanted it into episode 54, where there is nobody else around except the viewer to bear witness to that intimate (and frankly, chilling) moment. Placing the scene there, right before That One Big Scene between her and Roy really drives home how deep and complicated their past together is and puts all these emotions fresh in the viewer’s mind, and if you ask me it made That One Big Scene all the more raw and devastatingly powerful.

Tell us about a project you have going on! Or if you don’t have one, maybe something you’ve always wanted to write or draw? Oh god. Well I’m trying to teach myself how to draw and it’s...well it’s stop and go, mostly. As far as writing goes, I have a few one-shots kicking around and I’m now playing with the idea of an AU where Envy impersonated Riza instead of Maria Ross when he murdered Hughes. I don’t know if I can commit to that, but talking with a few friends has really opened up some crazy possibilities. I’d certainly like to write a longfic for FMA but my life is kind of hectic right now.

Favorite opening/ending number and why? My favorite opener is easily Rain (season 5). Even before I knew the English translation, the colors and imagery of it coupled with the singing successfully made me feel unsettled and nervous. SID is an incredibly talented singer and the lyrics, even in Japanese, just give me chills every time. I remember saying to Robyn the first time I saw this opener that the little snippet of Roy spiraling down/Riza hugging Hayate and crying made me feel this overwhelming surge of dread. It’s a very visceral opener and sometimes I watch it on its own because I just like it so much.

Tell me about a scene that really touched you or made you realize something about yourself. One of the scenes that still gets me every time is in episode 5 when Al punches Ed and then grabs him by his shirtfront and gives him that speech: “Survival is the only way, Ed. Live on, learn more about alchemy. You can find a way to get our bodies back and help people like Nina. You can’t do that by dying! I won’t allow you to abandon the possibility of hope and choose a meaningless death!” It chokes me up every single time. I mean there are a bunch of scenes that make me feel things but I’ve talked so much about Roy and Riza that I thought I should give Ed and Al a chance. ;)

OTPs! Who are they? Why are you WEAK FOR THEM?? ROYAI FUCKING RUINED ALL OTHER PAIRINGS FOR ME. I am so weak for how much they love and support one another and god the tragedy of their circumstances. It’s just devastating and it makes me feel so many things. I am so weak. I honest to god don’t have any other OTPs in FMA that I care about as much as Royai. I’m not even joking when I say they r u i n e d other pairings for me.

Funniest headcanon you’ve ever seen. Go! I rarely have the privilege of seeing a lighthearted FMA headcanon but if anyone has some I’d love to hear ‘em!!! 

What spurred you to join the fandom? My friend Maddy finally convinced me to watch the show (she was the fifth person to insist that I needed to see it and I finally caved) and then Robyn found out I had started watching it and asked me to talk to her about it as I watched and I sorta ended up in the fandom through her, which is honestly one of the greatest gifts anyone has ever given me. This fandom is absolutely incredible and I am very happy with the friends I’ve made in my short time here.

Definitely the same question… have a fandom meltdown here and tell me why you love your fandom or show/comic so much! I pretty much had like four meltdowns already in this post so I feel like anything more is like...really extra lmao. Although I noticed I baaarely talked about Roy in this and I just want to make it clear that I love Roy just as much as Riza. It was impossible for me to decide which of them to talk about for question number 2 and I ended up flipping a coin.

I don’t know who to tag because pretty much everyone has already been tagged! But if anyone reading this wants to do it too then feel free to recycle these questions (which are honestly really good ones and I definitely couldn’t come up with any this good) and consider yourself tagged.

[weneedtherooks]

War Letters AU: Introductions

Wow, this one is my longest yet!

Okay, so this is an AU in which Clara never actually got sent back in time. Here, she’s still April Hughes. It’s the year 2000 and she’s 17 years old.  With this AU comes some new tags! I’ll still be using #my ocs and #shitty dialogue, but in this case you’ll see #april and friedrich as well as #april hughes. I’ll also be tagging this as #war letters au.

Since they aren’t actually speaking, this is just the conversation in German. Thinking to themselves is still the same. 

“April Hughes: World War One, Germany.”

April blinked a couple times. “Germany…? Really? So I have to write to the bad guys?”

The teacher got a chuckle out of that. “Well, it’s not often that someone in this class is able to handle a second language. And, as it just so happens, you’re that person.” April shrugged. “Alrighty then. Well, I hope they’re ready to get the best letter EVER.”

Ever since the Voyager Project started, tons of people had been writing letters to people in the past. They still weren’t super comfortable with the idea of sending whole groups back, but letters and presents seemed to be okay. April’s school just happened to be one of the lucky picks for a special program they were doing: War Letters. A few schools were given a different war and a side with which to write to. Apparently, they managed to convince each country that they had a special delivery system approved by the government so that they could send letters back and forth every day, if they chose. April scoffed to herself quietly. Government approved. What kind of money do you gotta have to pull off just saying “government approved”?

“So, what’re you gonna write?”

April looked over to see the overly curious face of her best friend, Nancy Rogers. “I don’t know. I’m not entirely sure some soldier in 1916 Germany wants to be talking to a random seventeen year old kid. Nancy rolled her eyes. “Well, then write something that will make them want to! You’re a creative kid, and if anyone can pull it off…”

She sighed. “Alright, lemme see what I can do…”

“Here. Letter for you.”

The soldier sat up, bunching his eyebrows in confusion. “I have not sent any letters. How could I possibly have one addressed to me?” “It is not addressed to anyone, sir. They simply said to give it to you.”

He sighed. Of course. Why not give it to me? I have nothing better to do but answer some anonymous…

He opened the letter.

“Hello,

I was wondering if maybe you and I could write to each other? After all, I am sure a little friendly conversation will help to pass the time! How are you doing? Are the days very difficult for you right now? I hope you are doing well, even under the current circumstances.

I am looking forward to your reply,

A. H.”

“A. H.?” he muttered out loud. He scratched the back of his neck. Oh, why not? He grabbed his writing supplies. “Let us see what sort of person you are, A. H.” 

“I’m fine. I don’t see how small talk could hurt. If you want to continue, please send me a clipping of your hair, what color lipstick you wear, and whatever else you feel like. Just to get to know you, of course. Signed, F.R.” April stared at the reply letter. What the hell kind of response is that?

“He has to be joking, right?” Nancy asked, looking somewhat annoyed at the written request. April tapped the table she was sitting at, contemplating.

Alright then. I’ll play along.

“Nancy, I need you to come with me!” Her friend stuttered. “Where are we going?” “Cafeteria! I need to use the shop for some things!”

Inside the cafeteria was a small shop of sorts. It could get you whatever little odds and ends you wanted, no matter what time period you asked for. Even pictures, should you need or want one...and April was in need of one.

“I want to take a picture with you! And I’ll also need to grab a couple of my flowers from Mrs. Baker’s classroom...and I need you to cut my hair a bit.” Nancy looked at her, a little shocked. “You’re really gonna go through with it?” April put her hands on her hips. “Who says I’m not gonna ask for the same in return?”

After running about the school for ten minutes, she scribbled down a reply and put the items she’d gathered into the envelope. Okay, F.R. Your move. 

He chuckled, holding the lock of wavy blonde hair in front of him. She actually did it…

“Dear F. R.,

I do not like wearing lipstick all that much, and I hope his lock of hair is to your satisfaction. The flowers inside are clover and lilac. They are my favorites! I also left a paint smear on this, in case you wanted to know my favorite color was purple-like the lilacs. I like Hershey’s chocolate kisses and Chiclets! I enjoy listening to the rain and running outside with no shoes on!

What about you? Do you think you could send me a few things in return?

Signed,

April Hughes, age 17”

“April, huh…?” He smiled. Such a simple girl. He called one of the other soldiers over. Well, let’s give the young lady what she asked for. 

She took the letter from her teacher, walking over to her desk. It seemed a little bulky...Did he really send me stuff as well? When she opened the envelope, she noticed the lock of dirty blond hair sitting at the bottom. There was also a dirt-covered playing card, a couple small poppies, and a single bullet casing.

“Miss April Hughes, age 17,

Thank you for the items in your previous letter. They did brighten my day a bit. I was not expecting you to actually send me your hair, so I applaud you for that. It only seems fair that I send my own, if you can pardon how dirty it is. It is nice to see flowers other than the poppies, but I imagined you would like to see them, so I sent a couple. I do not have any kind of paint with me, but I rather like the color copper. You had asked how my days were a couple letters back, and the only way I could describe that was to send the casing. It is dull usually, an endless loop of cleaning guns and shooting them. I do not really like candies, but I am fond of desserts. Rote grütze is a particular favorite. I enjoy listening to the rain as well, but in my position, it is better to keep my footwear on.

Until your next letter,

Friedrich Rosenthal, age 20”

April smiled. Nancy scooted her chair closer, peeking at the letter. “So, his name is Friedrich, huh? Sounds pretty interesting. You gonna keep writing to him?”

“You know...I think I will.”

[one-of-us-blog]

Casino Royale (1967)

As a second special bonus post, today Drew is watching and recapping 1967’s Casino Royale, the first non-canonical James Bond film. The original James Bond is called out of retirement in order to foil the evil machinations of SMERSH, but to do that he has to put together a crack team of James Bonds. Can the true 007 come out of this one unscathed? How many James Bonds can fit into one movie? And can this movie’s plot possibly be more confusing?

Keep reading to find out…

Screenplay by Wolf Mankowitz, John Law & Michael Sayers, film directed by Ken Hughes, John Huston, Joseph McGrath, Robert Parrish, Val Guest & Richard Talmadge

James Bond is chilling with his dick out at a public urinal in France when he’s approached by Lieutenant Mathis (Duncan Macrae), who shows off his ‘credentials’ at the urinal. The two head off, presumably to beat each other off in the bushes, and we head to an opening credit sequence that feels like something out of Monty Python.

Following this we jump to a caravan of cars making their way through the English countryside. A group of men, including M (John Huston) carpool down a road lined with twelve zoos-worth of lions. They eventually arrive at the home of Sir James Bond (David Niven). Wait, this guy is James Bond? Who was that guy with his dick out earlier? I’m confused already! The men with M are representatives of various intelligence organizations, and we learn that this James Bond is the true, original James Bond, while MI6 gave his name and number – 007 – to a younger, hyper-sexualized killing machine when he left the spy game 20 years ago. Bond isn’t interested in the world of espionage anymore, and only wants to focus on his garden (and presumably his harem of pet lions). M explains that things have gotten very, very bad lately and he’s lost numerous agents, including, maybe Bond’s hypersexual successor. The other intelligence heads report similar losses, which is why they’re willing to overlook their differences and come together to stop this menace to their organizations.

M begs Bond to return to the field, even producing a letter from the Queen asking him to return to action, but Bond refuses. So M has a bunch of soldiers blow up Bond’s house, presumably with his old butler still inside. Looks like Bond is back in action, baby! SMERSH finds out Bond is back in the game and resolves to destroy the aged spy. Oh, by the way, M straight up died in that mortar attack on Bond estate. Yeah, you heard me, M is dead as a doornail. Bond delivers his former boss’ remains to his widow, but it turns out that SMERSH has replaced M’s widow with one of its agents, Agent Mimi (Deborah Kerr). We get an absolute cavalcade of Scottish jokes as the McTarry clan prepares to mourn M.

Bond retires to his suite and two SMERSH agents posing as M’s daughters begin the difficult task of seducing him. Unlike his replacement, who can’t keep his pants on to save his life, the original Bond is famously chaste and SMERSH thinks the best way to destroy him is to break his pure image. Bond is bathed by one of M’s fake daughters, who makes a gross point to mention that she’s 17. Later, at the bacchanalia which passes for a funeral celebration all of the SMERSH agents get so shitfaced that they can’t seduce Bond, so he just goes to bed after they all pass out. Agent Mimi quickly recovers, though, and makes her way into Bond’s bedroom and demands he comfort her in her grief. This is an affront to Mimi’s fake Scottish honor, so she says Bond will have to face off against a gaggle of Scotsmen in a game involving carrying very large stones.

Bond succeeds, mainly because all of the Scotsmen injure themselves trying to lift the stones, and Mimi is so turned on by his prowess that she drops her Scottish act and genuinely falls in love with Sir James. The bevy of beauties posing as her fake Scottish daughters are not happy about their fake mother deviating from their mission and lock her in her room while they and James go out to shoot birds the next day. Agent Mimi’s love won’t be denied, though, and she eventually manages to sneak out of her room while her fake daughters launch explosive ducks toward Bond. The ducks are attracted to a magnetic button that had been covertly sewn into Bond’s pants, and Bond and Mimi take turns throwing it back and forth with the fake McTarry girls. Bond eventually succeeds in blowing up the van the McTarrys arrived in, and Mimi, after sharing a kiss with Bond, goes off to join a convent.

Bond finally escapes Scotland, only to be led into a highspeed chase with another SMERSH agent. That’s right, this isn’t even a canonical Bond film but by golly we’re still going to sit through a chase scene. Bond eventually gets the better of the SMERSH agent and she’s killed by the explosive truck that was meant to kill him. Bond arrives at MI6 and gives a big old smooch to Miss Moneypenny (Barbara Bouchet), who explains to him that she’s the daughter of the original Miss Moneypenny. The new head of MI6 lets Bond know about the sheer number of spies who have been killed lately, though he points out that the hypersexual, murderous agent who replaced Bond as 007 is no longer in the field and is now working in television. MI6 has, however, lost track of Bond’s nephew, Jimmy Bond (played by avid statutory rapist and all around piece of shit Woody Allen). Aware of SMERSH’s preference for female spies, Bond says they need to find an agent who can withstand feminine whiles. Moneypenny is forced to make out with a bunch of dudes because that’s all she is to these people, and finally settles on Coop (Terence Cooper). Bond says that he’s going to put together an elite squad of agents and call them all James Bond to confuse SMERSH, so Coop is now James Bond. Bond is put through rigorous anti-horniness training that involves body slamming beautiful women who try to seduce him. One of the women is known only as The Detainer (Dalilah Lavi), who’s so impressive that she’s brought into the James Bond squad and is now James Bond also.

Bond next seeks out Vesper Lynd (Ursula Andress, whom you might remember as Honey Ryder from a little flick called Dr. No), a retired spy who was presumed to have been eaten by sharks. Lynd isn’t interested in taking a mission, but it turns out she’s in trouble for tax problems and Bond is willing to make those issues go away if she helps him. That’s right, Vesper Lynd is now also James Bond. Bond goes to meet with Evelyn Tremble (Peter Sellers), a master of baccarat (wait a second, could we actually be getting close to the plot?) and gets him hot under the collar with her feminine charm. Tremble joins Bond in her decadent home and the two bang while Bond makes sure Tremble really is unbeatable at baccarat. Bond has Tremble put on a series of costumes, including an honest to god Hitler costume which prompts Tremble to do a Nazi salute, and eventually Bond asks Tremble if he’s heard of a baccarat player named Le Chiffre (Orson Welles). Bond tells Tremble she wants Tremble to go head to head against Le Chiffre; she’ll put up the money if he’ll play and then they’ll split the profits. Tremble’s quickly convinced, but there’s a problem: Le Chiffre will never agree to play against him, because he’s read Tremble’s book and will recognize his name. Not a problem, says Bond, as she’s got a new name for him: James Bond.

Bond arrives James Bond 007 training and is greeted by Q (Geoffrey Bayldon) and his gay-for-laughs assistant (John Wells). Bond is given a two-way television/radio wristwatch and a super gadget suit. Meanwhile, Bond gets a lead and finds out SMERSH has a cover organization called International Mothers’ Help which pairs nannies and au pairs with wealthy families. Bond decides to send his daughter, Mata Bond (Joanna Pettet), the result of his union with his one true love, Mata Hari, under cover. Mata isn’t a spy, but Bond thinks she has potential. Bond heads to some vaguely Asian country and watches his daughter put on a dance so rich in cultural appropriation that an unborn Scarlett Johansson is already green with envy.

Despite being estranged for pretty much all of Mata’s life, the two are happily reunited and Mata admits that she’d totally bang Bond if he weren’t her dad. Mata’s totally down to be a spy like her late mother and is instantly on board with infiltrating International Mothers’ Help. That’s right, Bond’s little girl is in the game and she herself is now James Bond. The SMERSH agent running MHH loves the idea of Bond joining their ranks and she’s instantly accepted and told about an upcoming visit by Le Chiffre. We find out that Le Chiffre is a compulsive gambler and has been using SMERSH funds to fund his habit, and if he doesn’t come up with some dough to make up for his losses he’s going to be liquidated. He plans on selling off his fancy art collection to raise the dough, but Bond quickly realizes that the art collection is actually comprises of compromising photos of important world leaders that various intelligence agencies want to buy to use for blackmail. Bond is told she can’t let Le Chiffre raise the money he needs through the sale of his collection, so she quickly snatches them and makes a break for it. She dispatches legions of agents in the goofiest ways possible and eventually escapes with a cabdriver who actually works for MI6.

Le Chiffre is informed of the failed auction, and resolves to raise the money through gambling. He was probably planning on gambling soon anyway, so what the hell. Bond heads off for his game with Le Chiffre, but Bond wonders if he might be a double agent. He contacts Bond to ask her, but she assures him that Bond is having enough trouble being a single agent. In France, Bond is seduced by a SMERSH agent named Miss Goodthighs (Jacqueline Bisset), who drugs him and sends him off on a colorful hallucination until he’s shaken awake by Bond with barely enough time to make his game with Le Chiffre. At the titular Casino Royale, Le Chiffre is on a winning streak and also putting on a magic show for his fellow players. Bond escorts Bond to Casino Royale and Bond quickly deduces that Le Chiffre is cheating by using infrared sunglasses which allow him to see every card on the table. Bond tells Bond she’ll take care of Le Chiffre’s cheat-glasses and tells him to just focus on baccarat. Bond manages to snatch Le Chiffre’s glasses while he’s not looking, and Le Chiffre delights Bond with another magic show.

With the preamble out of the way the game gets underfoot. Le Chiffre has the upper hand for a while, but then Bond raises the stakes and quickly wipes the floor with Le Chiffre. Bond is kidnapped by two men, so Bond steals a racecar and gives chase. Suddenly Bond wakes up in Le Chiffre’s clutches and Le Chiffre begins to psychologically torture Bond in an attempt to make Bond give up the check for his casino winnings. Bond rescues Bond from his hallucinatory nightmare, only to turn around and kill him herself. SMERSH agents arrive and execute Le Chiffre.

Meanwhile, Bond wants Bond to let her into MI6 so she can see her father at work, but he refuses and sends her on her way. She wanders around, only to be kidnapped by a man on a horse and taken aboard a SMERSH flying saucer. Bond is instantly aware of his daughter’s kidnapping, and while trying to make plans for her rescue he’s interrupted by the arrival of a nun seeking donations. Turns out it’s actually Agent Mimi, who passes Bond a note telling him Bond has been taken to Casino Royale. Bond and Moneypenny head to the casino and are immediately ambushed by SMERSH agents. They’re taken deep underground to the lair of Dr. Noah (get it? like Dr. No? get it?), the head of SMERSH.

Dr. Noah taunts Bond and Moneypenny as they flee through his lair, and soon they’re brought face-to-face with a robotic James Bond double that Dr. Noah is planning to use to take over the world. It’s soon revealed that Dr. Noah is, in fact, Jimmy Bond, James Bond’s awful nephew. Jimmy reveals that his plan is to release a biological weapon that will kill all men taller than himself and make all women beautiful. Fun. Bond and Moneypenny are taken away by SMERSH agents and Jimmy goes to taunt Bond (whom we haven’t seen since she and Bond were wrestling way back at the start of the movie), who’s been captured, stripped and bound to a table. Bond taunts Jimmy for being such a grotesque little goblin of a man, and we have to watch him dance around and make an ass of himself while trying to impress Bond. He shows off a pill disguised as an aspirin but is actually a million little bombs.

Bond tells Jimmy she’ll be his co-ruler of the world so he’ll untie her, but she grabs the bomb pills while he’s not looking. Meanwhile, Bond, Bond, Bond and Moneypenny make preparations to escape. Jimmy shows off his room of robot doubles and we find out every world ruler is actually under his control. Bond slips the bomb pill into Jimmy’s drink and he begins to explode as she flees. Bond, Bond, Bond and Moneypenny escape and avoid being shot by SMERSH agents long enough to reunite with Bond. The four Bonds and a Moneypenny head for the surface and emerge into Casino Royale. Bond prepares to call for help, but he’s confronted by the treacherous Bond, who reveals she went through a lot of trouble to get him here so she could kill him.

The American cavalry arrive on horseback to do battle with the SMERSH agents, and an absolutely bonkers fight breaks out. The bombs inside of Jimmy finally go off and Casino Royale explodes, killing everyone inside. All of the Bonds and Moneypenny are seen in Heaven, while Jimmy is sent down to roast in hell where he belongs.

The End

~~~~~

Jeez louise, I need a nap after all of that. To be fair, there were actually a lot of genuinely funny jokes in this movie and I laughed out loud several times while watching it, but man alive was it ever goofy. The plot was maybe one of the most convoluted I’ve ever seen, and I have no idea why Coop or The Detainer needed to be in the movie at all. Everyone involved seemed to be giving it there all and I can tell this movie was a lot of fun to watch, but it’s so long that it really was exhausting to get through. Toward the end it got so incoherent and chaotic that I honestly wasn’t sure what was going on at times, and I had to consult the movie’s Wikipedia page more than once to keep track of what was happening. I don’t know that this movie fully succeeded as a Bond parody, or even as a coherent comedy, but I’m still glad to have checked it out and it’s got me very excited to check out the canonical Casino Royale next!