#askanempath

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Help for Empaths: Cleansing Your Energy

Here are a few things other than meditation/visualization which will help you to center yourself and cleanse your energy of negative influences: Water- Our bodies are made of water, thrive on water. The water we drink helps to naturally flush toxins from our bodies- and that goes for negative energies as well. Being in water also can help to cleanse your energy. Taking a hot shower, washing your hands (up to the elbows), taking a dip in the ocean, wading in a clean river, and soaking in a sea-salt bath are great ways to refresh and relax.

(***In my personal experiences, I have found water to be very effective for emotional/spiritual cleansing. I have also found, however, that if I spend too much time in water, I begin to feel physically drained. I imagine this has something to do with washing out my own energies too much, so always be mindful of what your body is telling you. As with most things, moderation is important.***)

Eating- You have to be careful with this one. Eating in and of itself is not a cure and overdoing it can lead to serious health problems. Keeping a healthy & balanced diet will keep your physical form in top condition, which helps to better serve your spirit.

Proper Sleep- If your empathy is uncontrolled, you may find it hard to fall asleep at night- or even get yourself into bed- regardless of how tired you may feel. These feelings of restlessness should dissipate over time as you keep up your practice of cleansing yourself of residual energies, and training your mind through meditation. Setting a schedule for when you will lie down for the night and when you will wake up will give your body a pattern to follow. (You may also want to avoid using technological devices right before bedtime, as the energies of these may unsettle you.) By getting the recommended amount of sleep for your age group, you will be better strengthened for the coming day.

Walking in nature- This is a great way to let your stress melt away. Being close to nature will remind you of the natural beauty of the universe, and spending time outdoors on your own allows you to distance yourself from the energies of others (which helps you to notice how *you* feel, so that you can better differentiate between *your* energy and the energy of others). A healthy amount of sun exposure also helps to boost positive chemicals in your body.

Exercise (especially yoga or tai chi)- Exercising also keeps your body healthy, and your sweat flushes toxins from your body (be sure to stay hydrated). When you exercise, your body naturally releases chemicals which help you to feel good. Getting away from technological devices, which emit disruptive energies and can negatively affect you over long periods of exposure, gives your mind and your energy a rest. Yoga and tai chi are great because they put emphasis on centering and clearing the mind through breathing techniques.

Animals- Spending time with a pet or volunteering at a shelter can boost your spirits. Dogs, for example, are naturally loving and many of them are highly empathic. Be sure that you keep your own energy clean and positive not just for you but also for the sake of your animal friend. (You might also choose to look into the practice of healing animals.)

Smudging- Smudging is the process of burning herbs (such as white sage or lavender), then blowing out the flame and wafting the smoke around one’s body or throughout a space (such as a bedroom or living space). If you live with others, you may want to smudge when they are not around (if they do not like the smell). Be cautious of blowing embers and setting off smoke detectors (you shouldn’t be creating a blaze). Airing out your living space- Air becomes stagnant in a closed space, and energy can get trapped and build up over time. It is important to air out your living space by opening the windows and smudging from time to time so that fresh air and flowing energy may move throughout your living space. Keeping live plants- Placing healthy, living plants in the corners of rooms helps to absorb some negative energies. Be sure to cleanse your plants as well- take them outside or open the window to give them fresh air and direct sun every once in a while. Music- Uplifting, calming music is a great help in clearing away any negative energies you may be retaining. Put on a song that really makes you feel good, and feel free to dance! Singing is also an excellent method of healing for impaired empaths, who often feel as if their own voice is drowned or suppressed by their concerns for the emotions of others (don’t worry about what you sound like, just do what feels right). Singing exercises your throat chakra, which will help you to speak up against those who might try to use you.

(***Toning- Using toning implements such as a tuning fork, prayer bells, or Tibetan singing bowls to create sound also cleanses negative energy with positive vibrations.***)

Crystals and sea salt- I am still looking into the use of crystals for energy cleansing and protection. I am currently reading a book called “Healing with Crystals and Chakra Energies” by Sue and Simon Lilly, so I hope to put up some more information on this soon. In the meantime, you may find some useful sources online.

Symbolically breaking toxic ties- If you have experienced toxic relationships (I will discuss these in a later post) in the past, or are currently struggling with them, then it is time for you to “cut the cord.” Once you have broken ties with the ‘toxic’ person in real life (let’s hope it ended amiably, but even if this is not the case, it is time to forgive and let live), you can use visualization to sever any lingering ties between your energy and theirs.

One way to do this is the “Bridge Visualization,” during which you imagine yourself and the other person meeting halfway on a bridge. This is a peaceful meeting, a time for forgiveness, not blame or anger. On this bridge, tell the other person your feelings about the relationship, and apologize for all you may have done to hurt them. Tell them that you forgive them for all they have done to you, that you are letting go of the relationship, and that you hope they will be happy and healed. Then, turn from them and walk off of the bridge. Do not worry if you imagine them still waiting for you on the bridge as you leave; this means that they simply need time to adjust to the change that has taken place. You may now move forward in peace.

Another thing I like to do is clear my living space of any objects which might remind me of the harmful person. By letting go of these objects, it is easier for me to accept that I am releasing my ties with that person.

(***Cleaning- Cleaning living/work spaces is a great way for empaths to feel cleansed and in-control. When objects are put into ordered places and the space is aired out to allow fresh air to replace dusty/stale air, fresh energy is allowed to flow freely. While cleaning, you may come across many objects that will give you a chance to reflect on past relationships and choices, and to evaluate how you might choose differently in the future.)

Praying/Asking for guidance- You may choose to ask the universe- or whichever source of light, goodness, and positive energy you associate with- for protection, healing, strength, and guidance. You may do this at a specific time, following any traditions or rituals that resonate with you, or anytime, but particularly when you feel you need help the most. I always find it helpful to remember not only to ask for what I need, but to express my gratitude with the confidence that my requests will be answered as long as they are for the highest good of all involved, and to remember that all will be as it is meant to be, regardless of whether I can see the benefits clearly at the moment.

And of course,

Be open to healing! : )

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Help for Empaths: Shielding

Shielding is an empath's way of keeping out invasive energies. It is the next best thing to spending time alone when you feel you are losing yourself to the problems and emotions of the people around you. With practice, you will be able to shield anywhere at anytime, and feel your defenses getting stronger and stronger as you encounter new energies.

Often empaths feel compelled to help others who are experiencing pain, and do so (consciously or unconsciously) by taking on that person's pain as their own. It is dangerous to do this in an attempt to better relate to, or comfort, others, because it involves the empath much too closely with the negative and foreign energies, putting the empath's health (mental, physical, emotional, and even spiritual) at risk. By taking on the pain of another person, you are severely injuring yourself but also forcing that person to become dependent on you, enabling them to continue to conjure up such negative energies again and again. (See my post: Toxic Relationships.)

One way to shield is to get comfortable in a place where you can be alone and undisturbed, close your eyes, and imagine a brilliant, radiant light hovering over you (it may be white, gold, or whichever color comes to mind and feels right). Be in this light- is it warm? Smooth? How does it feel to you? Know that this light is pure love and positive energy. It is comforting and healing. Breathe it in and let it wash over you. Imagine that the light surrounds your body to form a shield which flows and moves freely, but is closed, like a bubble. This shield serves to protect you by allowing only positive energies to pass through, blocking everything else. From now on, you choose to live in this light and let in only what serves you for the highest good of all. Once your shield is in place, snap your fingers to 'set' it.

(picture from: silently anonymous)

I recommend shielding at least once every morning when you first wake up, as you're less likely to have been influenced by any foreign energies (you will also probably not be disturbed or distracted), and following up at night, before bed, by doing a chakra cleanse meditation to purge your energy of any residual negativity or tension. As you practice, shielding and grounding meditations will become easier to do anywhere and at anytime (don't be discouraged if it is hard to visualize or concentrate on them at first). Over time, they will better center and protect you. The more often you can do these throughout the day, the better you will feel.

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Smudging

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"Smudging is the burning of certain herbs to create a cleansing smoke bath, which is used to purify people, ceremonial and ritual space, and ceremonial tools and objects.There are different ceremonies and rituals that can be done.

The burning of herbs or incense is a practice held sacred by many indigenous cultures. It is a ritual for cleansing, purifying and protecting the physical and spiritual bodies. The effect of the smoke is to banish negative energies.

Many differing cultures and peoples have their own methods and herbal mixtures for this purpose. Smudging, done correctly, can bring physical, spiritual and emotional balance.

The principle herbs used are sage, cedar or juniper, lavender and sweet grass. 

Rooms and psychic tools, such as crystals and other objects that hold energy, are often smudged/cleansed on a regular basis.

The initial smudging is for the purpose of purifying the space and participants and for banishing any unwanted energies. Cleansing the ceremonial or ritual space before and after the event is an essential part of spiritual hygiene. The final smudge is to cleanse any negative vibrations and energies attracted or created during the proceedings.

It is also a good thing to do on a regular basis for both one's self and one's living space, to maintain individual and domestic harmony.

Smudging itself takes many forms. Sometimes herbs are tied in a bundle called a 'smudge stick' and allowed to dry. Some herbs lend themselves to braiding. In olden times, the end of the smudge stick or braid was lit from the central or cooking fire. Today a candle is recommended as it takes some time to get the stick smoking. Loose dried herbs may also be placed directly onto the burning wood in an indoor fireplace or crumbled between the fingers over a piece of charcoal. The container used for the charcoal and herbs needs to be fireproof.

Ceramic or glass bowls with a layer of sand or salt work well. Especially nice is an abalone shell with a layer of colored sand in the bottom. Remember that the container may be come warm enough to scorch a surface or burn your hand.

The idea behind burning herbs is to release their energy and fragrance, not to fill the room or your lungs with smoke. Make sure the bowl/vessel you use can support the heat that will be produced so it will not crack. Burning excessive amounts can lead to respiratory distress or problems. Avoid smudging in the room when infants, pregnant persons, asthmatic or allergy-prone people are present. Never leave your smudge sticks, candles or charcoal unattended to avoid fire hazards. Blowing into the mixture is not encouraged as it is seen as blowing one's own negativity into the mixture. The mixture is then wafted around one's self like a smoke bath. When burning a smudge stick or braid, they will eventually go out on their own, but should you need to put them out quickly, you can tamp the end out in sand or soil, shaking off the excess. Using water is messy and not generally recommended."

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Help for Empaths: Adjusting to a New Environment

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When you come into a new environment, or return to one you've been away from for a while, you may find that your energetic body wants to ‘settle in’ by mimicking the energy of that environment. This means that, as an impaired empath, you will naturally take on the energies of the people/animals/plants living there, or the residual energy that the place holds. Even if you have reached the level of functioning empath through daily focus, you may need to re-balance yourself upon shifting environments, as large shifts in your surroundings and strong energies can still pose a challenge to you if you stop practicing your grounding/clearing/self-healing activities.

I received a bit of a wake-up call after returning to my parent’s home recently. Distracted, ironically, by my attempts to readjust to the environment, I kept putting off my meditation. I acknowledged that the energy in that place was different, but it didn't occur to me that I was being directly affected until I realized that my family members were experiencing the same symptoms as me. Aside from subtle emotional energies, I was taking on extreme hormonal fluctuations because of my sisters’ menstrual cycles (this is actually a common phenomenon among non-empathic women as well) and my father’s recently-developed nighttime cold-sweats. It just goes to show that there’s always more work to be done! :)

Keep yourself grounded. Bless you!

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Taking a short break

Hello, everyone! :) I will be taking a short break from answering requests (I am not sure how long this will be for but I will keep you posted). The healing sessions I worked on recently reminded me that I have been needing to take more time to heal myself before I focus on healing others. I tend to ignore my body’s persistent signs because I am easily distracted by what is going on around me, so I am going to address that by finally setting time aside to tackle the physical manifestations of some ignored stresses and possibly genetically-passed negativity that I have internalized. Thank you for your loving thoughts and good vibes at this time. I’m looking forward to returning to the blog renewed and full of excitement. Take care!

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Remember Yourself

Take time to remember yourself- who you are at your core, your pure soul, energetic form. For an empathic person, it can be easy to let your anxieties, frustrations, and other negativities become exaggerated by those around you, without your notice. You may have spent a long while living with these exaggerated energies that it will take a while to adjust to the feeling of your own energy becoming more recognizable and strong as you cleanse. Take time to cleanse yourself and any space you feel like (in whatever ways work best for you) and come into your center of knowing who you are and how you feel.

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Being Judgmental

Being judgmental is a habit that I developed without thinking about it. I've never harbored bad intentions towards others, or desired to see them in a negative light, but over time my sensitivity to the 'bad things' happening around me, and my fears of being vulnerable, have developed into a state of anxiously judging everything in my world (including myself). This is something that I am guessing a great deal of empaths might struggle with (even if they're not currently conscious of it). I am going to attempt to explain the difference between judgment and awareness.

When you're an empath, you may be more prone to analyzing others, and yourself, than the average person. Sometimes, we become so overwhelmed by the pain we feel when others make choices that are harmful and negative, that we start to focus an incredible amount of attention on these negative behaviors. We may let these judgments keep us from loving, forgiving, and accepting others, and ourselves. We may push others away from us by calling them out on these so-called mistakes (thinking that we want to help them and that we can see the solution clearly). If your loved ones have been kind enough to point out to you that you are sometimes "too judgmental," then it is time to stop being defensive and start paying attention to how you are directing your thoughts.

There is a difference between having spiritual awareness, and being judgmental. Being judgmental stems from our fears- our insecurities, our past experiences, and the challenges that our soul would like to overcome. ((If you would like to know how to begin recognizing your fears, I would recommend watching the AskTeal video, "What is Shadow Work? How do I do Shadow Work?")) Fear comes from within us, from the mind, and can be erased with mindful practice. Awareness, on the other hand, comes from the spirit, from the Source. It is devoid of fear and full of peaceful, empowered knowing. We can achieve a state of loving awareness by consciously practicing our connection to Source/God/Love and releasing our fears, which impede our happiness as well as our gifts.

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A video on some ways to cleanse the home with salt, sweeping, sage, positive affirmations, crystals, and prayer.

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My friend says she has an empath flu.... what the hell is that?

I suppose your friend could be referring to a number of things; for example, they may have caught the flu and allowed their energy to sink to a lower vibration, making them more vulnerable to the energy/emotions of others, or they may have become so wrapped up in the affairs of another person that they have invited in low energies that do not belong to them or practiced matching their own energy to that other person’s for so long that they have finally become overwhelmed and acknowledge a need to take better care of themselves.

Either way, your friend needs some time to heal and refocus on their own self and what makes *them* happy. If your friend requests some space to be alone during this time, give it to them, as it will help them to be centered again. If you spend time together, be supportive of your friend’s healing process- it may take time. I hope this answers your question! :)

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The Goal

Remember that feeling the emotions of others is not a useful skill for you (although you may have grown accustomed to its difficulties); it is a hindrance to your ability to read others with clarity. When you adjust your focus and make the choice to let go of this hindrance, you will find a flood of peace, confidence, and intuitiveness without the unwanted baggage. Bless you!

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"Video Series- Empaths: Keepers of the Heartlight- Sensitives" by momcalzmesheri

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There Are Many Kinds of Love

There are family members, who we love even though we sometimes wish we didn’t. We learn how to live and how not to live from them. There are friends, who we choose and who change as we change. Some come and go and some become our family. There are people we love from afar because we have to let them go. They help us learn to heal. There are lovers who help us learn to love more meaningfully. They help us to discover ourselves. There are soul-mates we wait for eagerly, or else just someone who will understand us. We can share our most intimate joys with them. There are people we share a powerful connection with who are not our soul-mates. These are very special people who simply ‘click’ with us. There are animals, plants, and all sorts of beautiful things around us that remind us of selfless love and the joys of being. There is pure energy. There is Source.

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“What is Shadow Work? How do I do Shadow Work?”

Beautifully-spoken, as always. Teal talks about releasing negative vibrations and patterns that hold us back from the "light," or "God"/"Source."

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How did you discover you were an empath? Or rather, when did you learn that there was a word for it?

Hi! : )

I first discovered what empathy was after watching an episode of Psychic Kids on A&E (which is funny, because I'd always got a laugh out of certain ghost/paranormal shows in the past, but this time I found some really helpful information). After watching the episode, I couldn't get the term "empath" out of my head, so I began researching empathy online and found that it perfectly explained what I had been experiencing all of my life.

Since empathy can be a lot more subtle than, say, a spirit talking in your ear (I still sometimes have difficulty determining the source of a feeling/energy), for a long time in my life I mistook the energy of others for my own experiences. And since I'd always been told that psychic abilities, etc. were just make-believe, it took me a lot longer to explore and accept my own abilities.

Looking back, certain memories make a lot more sense to me now that I am aware. For example, when I was younger and my pet rabbit, Cottontail, passed away, I literally felt the animal's soul leave its body (it was comforting, rather than upsetting, but it startled me because I could not adequately explain the experience to my family). I know that empathy has probably been with me since birth, but it wasn't until high school that I actually became aware of why I felt certain things in certain situations. (Ironically, my experiences with a few "toxic" relationships finally forced me to acknowledge that my empathy was real, and that I needed to start understanding and taking care of myself).

Thanks for the question!

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Hi! I have just ended a 6 year relationship - recently realised it was quite toxic. We have a young child together, I am her main carer. I am a really emotional person, which makes it extremely difficult to deal with what I am going through right now & also be a good parent/co-parent. I feel so lost, I don't know who I am, unlovable, ugly, and feel if I have stuck by That person for so long and through SO much but they didn't truly love me how will I ever be able to share my life with another?

Hi! I am happy that you were able to recognize that the relationship wasn't benefiting you- sometimes it can be really hard to see that when you're very close to someone, and especially after 6 years. The beautiful gift of your daughter is truly a blessing you can celebrate- something amazing that came out of your union with this person. You can remember this beautiful gift when times feel hard. It might take a while to heal your feelings towards this relationship, and that's okay. Let yourself experience the journey of moving into better things with every single day. Let yourself experience the emotions as they come, and know that the end result will be your full and total healing. If this person is going to remain a positive part of your child's life, you will want to keep your interactions with them as positive as possible. Know that how you treat them, so will your child learn to treat them, and others, as she grows.Most of us really want to find someone with whom we can intimately share our lives, but when it doesn't happen right away, we become afraid of being alone forever (especially when we feel as if our trust and our feelings have been betrayed). The important thing to remember is: if you want to attract a person whom you can share a happy life, you must first practice loving yourself. Your previous relationship did not work simply because it was not the one that would bring you the most joy- it simply was not what you were looking for. This does not speak to any failure on your part. You are a success for learning what you do not want from a relationship, and for bringing a beautiful new life into this world. Take some time to healthily indulge in the things that make you happy, and care for yourself and your daughter. When you take a break from worrying about relationships for the time being, you can return your focus to being happy with yourself, and your existence in this world. You are a beautiful creature of the same source which unites us all, and your feelings of self-love will reverberate throughout this connection. Your special someone will find you at the exact moment you are ready to meet them. Think of all the things you want to experience with this special person (who is already out there, somewhere, on their path to you), and think about how you can create those happy feelings right now, in your own life. You are special and strong and you know exactly how to move forward from this experience. You are already doing it! : )

 God bless you in every moment of your life. I am sending you my most sincere love with this message to help you on your journey. 

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Another great video on relationships. :)