#atychiphobia

[encoffinedletters]

⟢　　in honor of subspace’s ost drop +++ my interpretation of the meaning of it as a little bonus because everyone’s takes are very fascinating

atychiphobia is subspace’s theme song meaning ; fear of failure.

most, if not all, of subspace’s scenes are shown as a statue. this typically depicts glorification of achievements and immortalization of remembrance for the individual it belongs to. i interpret this into his need of wanting to make a mark on the world. he wants to be remembered, and he fears the idea of not being enough. he fears the mere thought of being seen as someone inferior because he thinks of this as failure. which then correlates straight back towards the song title, atychiphobia.

there are several instances of clocks or rhythmic dings relating towards clocks that appear throughout and most notably at the start of the video. i can see this as the clock ticking down until his inevitable death due to his rot and the fact that it’s continuously eating away at his own life-form. aside this, the song does gradually get more intense or loud after the dings at the start. i like to see this as his descent to insanity as he attempts to preserve his own life with however means necessary, even if that isn’t his specialty. he was made for death and destruction, so him trying to treat himself with life and prosperity is a complete 180° from what his abilities are meant to do. he continuously gets more adamant or desperate for a cure to the point it becomes the thought of, “WHATEVER IT TAKES.” he fears death because it is the opposite of what he wishes, and that is to be glorified or remembered for all of eternity. this, to him, is failure.

rather than a prideful or remarkable title, he’s instead referred to as the doomed potential. doomed could mean several different things depending on how you wish to see it, however, i look at this in the way that he’s doomed because everything he had done in regards to his death, was due to himself. he is the reason why he’s dying. his constant exposure to his own poison causes his biological form to rot to a fatal degree. the reason of his death will more than likely be because of that fact, and if not then greatly assisted by it. he’s a doomed potential because he truly does have the potential to make a difference. albeit being one of suffering, it’s a difference nonetheless, however he doesn’t have the resources nor time to complete that. hence, why he’s doomed.

on another note; medkit is the only one he can think of that could solve remotely every single part of this. every part that he deems as a scenario for failure, can be solved if he had that piece of medkit’s own abilities. medkit was made to completely rival or cancel out his own abilities due to it being one of healing rather than one of corrosion. he views medkit as a necessity for success because he thinks that medkit would be able to heal his rot to a degree that it no longer secures his demise. aside the fact that medkit is quite literally his main objective assigned by blackrock, he’s adamant on keeping him alive rather than executing him for his ‘betrayal’ because he’s aware of medkit’s healing aid and if medkit were to die, then he would follow suit soon after.

it seems like this helps in his descent towards insanity because instead of any other character relating to subspace’s lore, it’s only medkit who continuously has an appearance. of course, he may be so caught up in himself and his ego considering all the statues +++ how much he badly wants to be remembered, but it also seems like aside his obsession with himself—medkit is the only other one that makes a vague appearance in his thoughts. i think a lot of the visuals of this video can also resemble subspace’s personal obsessions asides everything else. these visuals are his desires and medkit is one of them solely due to being a means to success.

on the topic regarding a general basis on atychiphobia and what could have caused this for subspace; i would inevitably pin the blame onto blackrock. it’s well known that blackrock is unforgiving especially to those who wrong, defy, or fail it and i believe that plays a huge role into the effect this has on subspace. also not to mention that blackrock is the only thing subspace has and just barely similar to what he has as a family, so it’s not surprising he doesn’t want to disappoint them. subspace seems to be the face of blackrock in terms of advancements, and also looks like he’s held up to the highest regards. if he fails them, it will result into devastating consequences that he knows he will not be able to handle psychologically because he’s so used to doing everything right in their eyes to the point that if it changes, it would completely shatter him. that’s if, he wasn’t already discarded and expended before he had that time to run through the emotional turmoil.

i interpret subspace into the idea that he is a complete mirror image of what blackrock truly is in terms of how the faction seems to portray itself. though, i believe it was stated somewhere that he would have always ended to be an awful person, i think blackrock is one of the worst scenarios in regards to it. because now, he’s the worst version of himself that he could ever be. so terrible to the point he is no longer himself, and instead a personification of what blackrock truly is. and with that idea since he sees every single one of his coworkers as expendable, what’s to say that his superiors do not view that way of him as well? he’s only there because of his potential to the faction and how intelligent he seems to be with technological advancement towards destruction. blackrock wants power because of what it had lost, and subspace poses as something they could use to get it. should subspace fail, then he is no longer of use to blackrock’s desires.

he wants to be praised and acknowledged because to him, that is power. that is fulfillment. yet, in every possibility and in every conceivable outcome, he will never EVER be truly loved by anyone. that’s what i think really drives him deep into himself because the only one who truly thinks highly of him, is himself. however, he will take any bait of attention from blackrock because that is all he knows and his self-destructiveness demonstrates how far he’s willing to go to make sure he keeps succeeding in their eyes.

he’s doomed potential rather than remarkable history because in the end, his own demise was forever sealed to be caused by himself. he doesn’t know when to stop, yet he has all the knowledge of how to drive it further. his goal is to live so he could continue his succession for blackrock, while his death in any given outcome (succumbing to his rot, discarded by blackrock, or any other means of death) would represent his failure.

thus, is his atychiphobia.

[gremlinmodetweeker]

König's Serious Phobias

I'm pretty stressed out because I'm moving, so I decided to write about König stressing out too! Yay! Anyways, let's go.

König has a complicated past. His childhood was filled with bullying, his adult life has been filled with bullets and bombs. He's been through too much for one man, honestly. The fact that he hasn't either become a hikikomori or a homicidal maniac is a miracle. I think the only reason we're safe is because he has a good family and he found good friends when he joined the military. However, he has scars. Not all of them are painted on his skin.

I've collected phobias that I think he might have into a list, however some of these fears are fears that though they impact him seriously, he can live with them and won't have a panic attack upon facing them. Fears that genuinely terrify him identified. His fears are ranked 1 through 5, with 1 being a fear that just makes him a bit wary/on edge, but he's not going to have a meltdown unless pushed or 5, a fear that can cripple him with just a brush.

Phobias are listed under the cut (also I got the fears from a list online, hence why they're mostly alphabetical)

1 Scopophobia: Fear of being watched

König grew up in a small, rural village surrounded by monsters in all shapes and sizes. Adults were cruel, children were monsters. He grew up being afraid of going out because he knew that everyone in the village saw him as the socially outcast freak. Every time he looked at people, he saw them looking at him with disdain. I think a lot of this is due to developing social anxiety, and so thus he became paranoid, but he did develop a fear of people watching him, judging him, following him with their eyes. He hates going out into the civilian world because of this.

1 Agorophobia: Fear of open spaces or crowds

König is scared of going out into crowds. Why? See phobia above. He can't stand being outside of a place he considers safe. Not in a 'I can't go on missions' way, but in a 'I don't want to go to a shopping mall' sort of way. On a mission, he's either alone or in combat. When he's in civilian life, he doesn't know how to turn the military brain off. He can't get it through his reptilian brain that he's safe, and he's okay, and no that person carrying a duffle bag is not actually carrying a hidden rifle, and no that person with a thick coat does not have a bomb under their clothes, and no that person who's walking towards him does not have a knife in their belt. He is safe. He knows this logically, but he can't stop his heart from racing. It's too loud, too hectic, too many things can go wrong too quickly.

5 Atychiphobia: Fear of failure

Do you know what failure means when you're on a mission infiltrating a cartel base? Failure means watching your teammates get blown apart by a bomb. Failure is watching your best friend fall down into a puddle of their own blood. Failure is getting a bullet between the ears. Failure is not an option in his world. When people make mistakes, don't check their surroundings properly, when someone dares to light up a cigarette at night in an open area, that's when people die. Remember this phrase when you go to smoke on a battlefield. The first light catches the sniper's attention, the second light he lines his sights, the third light he pulls the trigger. Mistakes cost lives when on the field.

1 Catagelophobia:Fear of being ridiculed

This one is pretty self explanatory. He's been bullied his whole life. He's pretty sick of it.

3 Cynophobia: Fear of dogs

König, due to working in missions that target gangs and domestic terrorist groups, has had the misfortune of seeing dogs being used against his own people. He's been attacked by a dog before himself. In combat, dogs are tools of terror. He's seen his own team use dogs, and he knows what they're capable of. You might see a fluffy German shepherd. He sees a dog that's torn peoples hands off. However! He does also like dogs when he meets them in public. He is not going to assume your dog is a killer, but if your dog growls, he won't dare touch that dog. He won't even get close. He's seen what dogs can do.

As mentioned before in this post, König's first reaction to fears he can see is to lash out. He will punch or kick without thinking. He doesn't even yell or gasp when he does it. It's just what he does. If you go to sneak up on him, you'd best be ready to dodge. He feels really bad about it, and he's been banned from 10 different haunted houses around the world.

For fears he can't physically lash out at, he will just keep an eye on things. OODA loop, you know? Observe, Orient, Decide, Act. That's going on in his head over and over again. If he's out in public, that's going on in the back of his head. If he sees a dog, he's going through multiple different scenarios and evaluating the likelihood of each possibility. Normally he's a quiet man, but he goes deathly quiet when he's afraid. If you notice him freaking out like this, it might be nice to ground him by getting his attention and then taking his hand, or distracting him from what he's thinking about. He might not say it until later, but he'll be thankful.

[alice-the-kittycat-yt]

[fraise8910]

When you want home but your home isn't safe

Heres the background, non blurry version and one without the letters

[ii-strange-confessions]

Atychiphobia Part 1 - Lily of the Valley

[NOTE: Minor blood warning!]

7 YEARS AGO

Upon a dark sunrise, Lily stood on top of a concrete bridge across a giant, lifeless crater. This was the Strange and Alternative Matter research facility. Their home. Granted, it wasn’t a very nice home. They didn’t have many friends here. But that didn’t matter, as they had a purpose. Here they could help everyone. In the world. As the proton entered the building, an electron approached.

“Ah, hey Lily,” the electron said. “You’re going to, uh, project mindbreaker, right?” “Nobody has ever used that name except for you, Delta.”

“Well, I’m not gonna call it some boring ‘brain-modification-of-long-term-memory’ or something like that.” “Short-term memory.” Delta wasn’t the most professional, but they were nice to be around. Beneath the surface, they worked hard.

“Hm, how strange. I could have sworn there were 3 scientists here.” Ah. Rho. They were probably the smartest out of everyone here, but they berated Delta on everything they did.

“Rho, I will-” Lily blocked Delta with their arm.

“Rho,” Lily said, “we’re trying to get to work. Please do yours.” “Hm. Hypocritical, but whatever.” The neutron walked away.

“my GOD i hate that guy.” Delta said under their breath as they walked away.

The day passed relatively quickly. They were out of test subjects for their project, so they mostly just ran calculations, getting barely anything done. As she left, Rho appeared again.

“Well, look how your project went. The only person that did less than you was Delta.” 

“Cmon, Rho. You’re a genius. You’re better than this.” “I’m a genius who cares about other people. Maybe you should start caring for yourself.” Rho paused. “Look at Lambda. She almost died for science.”

“Don’t bring her up. It’s... dedicated.”

“More dedicated than YOU.” Lily’s PDA rang. “Ah, speaking of. Have fun with your meeting.”

Speaking of? What could that mean? Lily checked their PDA. As he said, it was a meeting, and as always, it was with the vice president, a proton who knew nothing about science but acted like he did.

She sat at the vice president’s desk. “So, Lily,” The proton said. “We’ve been noticing some changes in your efficiency-” “What do you mean? Nothing has changed, it’s just been a slow day.”

“I’m going to be blunt here, we’re running out of test subjects and the government won’t allow us to get more.”

“I’m pretty sure the government is too weak to do anything.”

“Don’t be rude, we’re owned by them. But what I’m saying is maybe, in this situation... we need dedicated test subjects. Like Lambda.”

There was a moment of silence. “You don't mean-”

“We’ll need you to be part of the charm project.”

“You’re joking,” Lily said, stuttering. “Charm quarks are much more unstable than strange ones. Theres no way I’d survive.”

“Which is why it’s a test. Anyways, you’ll have the night here to create something so you wont, as you said, die. If you do deserve to be here, then you’d survive.”

Lily was shook. “The night? Alone?” 

“Yes, thats what I just said. Either way, this conversation is over. Goodbye.”

“Wait, but-” But the door was closed.

“The door will unlock in a minute,” he said, his voice muffled through the window. “I’m sure you can do this. Probably.”

They were left alone in the night. Even when the door unlocked they could barely move. But after a minute or ten, she snapped out of it. She had worked on a blueprint a year back, they just had to find it, somewhere on the servers.

[USER: “lily_s_admin”]

[PASS: “⬤⬤⬤⬤⬤⬤⬤⬤⬤”]

[INCORRECT PASSWORD]

[USER: “_”]

Oh right. They changed the passwords. Lily hadn’t touched the computers for a long time, she hated using them, but now she had to find the password. They paced around, unable to find anything, until they saw a post-it behind the computer. The password was admin.

[USER: “lily_s_admin”]

[PASS: “⬤⬤⬤⬤⬤”]

[USER ACCEPTED]

[“programOpen fileManager”]

[COMMAND “programOpen” NOT FOUND]

[“help”]

[COMMAND “help” NOT FOUND]

There had to be a list of commands somewhere. They wandered the facility, and they found one. In the CEO’s room. Which was locked. Ugh, if only Delta was here. They were good at picking locks. Now that they thought about it, that was strange... but it didn’t matter. Lily grabbed a paperclip, luckily straightened for them, and attempted to open the lock. Somehow, it worked. Thankfully, there were no security cameras due to budget cuts, which was a thought Lily never expected to think. With the guide, she walked back down to the computers.

[USER: “lily_d_admin”]

[PASS: “⬤⬤⬤⬤⬤”]

[INCORRECT PASSWORD]

[USER: “lily_s_admin”]

[PASS: “⬤⬤⬤⬤⬤”]

[USER ACCEPTED]

[“execute_file: filemanager.exe”]

[PLEASE SELECT A FILE OR FOLDER]

[computer]

[trashbin]

[trackmaniaunitedf.exe]

[7zip.exe]

[misc info] <

[firefox.exe]

[finances.txt]

[backups]

[projects]

[FOLDER “misc_info” OPENED]

[PLEASE SELECT A FILE OR FOLDER]

[how to be really cool.txt]

[Strange matter psychological effects]

[why inanimate insanity is the best object show.txt]

[LambdaBaryons]

[why ii is the worst object show.txt]

[how to stop white screen glitch tmnf.txt]

[strange matter energy waveforms.wav]

[every one of delta’s rule infractions]

[disappearances related to group of neutrons]

[possible ways we could get more funding.txt]

[Rho’s Achievements.doc]

[electron blood samples]

[really cool hockolicious run.gbx]

[delta what the hell is this trackmania thing youre talking about nobody cares]

[I CARE.gbx]

[energy stored in electrons graph.jpeg]

[particle anti-decay machine (HYPOTHETICAL).png] <

[how to properly remove energy from electrons.txt]

[electron blood immunity to strange matter]

[using photons as energy sources (note: do not).doc]

[using unstable matter as energy sources.txt]

[the release date for obs 7b.txt]

[employee list.doc]

[easy creation of fuuitleba (possible way of getting money?).txt]

[FILE “particle anti-decay machine (HYPOTHETICAL).png” OPENED]

Finally. They had the blueprint. Now they just had to start building it. It was only now that Lily saw the flaws in the design but they wouldn’t have enough time to revise it. It was enough to keep them from dying. Now, to make the machine- first off, the shell. She entered the basement of the facility- more specifically the third basement, where there were some abandoned servers here with a shell that could work. When they found one they somewhat carefully took the servers out and took the shell upstairs- it was surprisingly lightweight, but bringing it up the stairs nullified that. Next up, electron blood. She was scared for half a second before they realized that the facility had a storage room for this. For science, of course. A quick in and out, she grabbed 2 blood bags and some tubes and managed to stuff them in the server. The next ingredient was strange matter; all of the plastic in SaAM was imbued with electron blood to stop strange matter from spreading. They grabbed a packet from a strange matter testing room and plugged it into the wires, also bringing a battery from the room. All they had to do now was connect the blood and strange matter to a gallon of water, easily takable from a water fountain. The bottles went missing every month, nobody would mind. Except that one employee that died of dehydration. She missed him.

There was just one last thing that she needed to add. The wires connecting herself to the machine. They had been so focused on building it that they forgot what it was. These were really just hyped up tubes, but they had needles at the end, which needed to go in their skull. She grabbed them in terror. One in her back. They paused for a moment but they knew it was worth nothing. She stabbed it, not really aiming for anything. For a second, she felt nothing- until it hit her. It was so much worse than they thought it would be, and they could barely think. After almost throwing up, they had 2 more wires to go through. Second one, through the arm. Blood seeped down from their torso. But they could at least think this time. But the wires had to go to her skull, and the easiest way to it? The eye.

After that rollercoaster of one singular emotion, the sun was rising again. Blood was still dripping, but it was at least slower. She didn’t worry about the blood on the floor, things like that were surprisingly common at the facility. The government sure as hell didn’t care. But Lily forgot one thing; to turn on the machine. Well, it couldn’t have been worse than what she had been through, right? Just a simple button pre-E-E-E-E------

They woke up in a barren room, on some sort of medical bed.

“Lily. Lilllly. Lily!”

“whu- huh..?”

“Ah, yes, great that you’re here!” A ray was pointed at her head. This was the vice president. “I don’t know what that weird thing connected to you is, but your body does not seem to want to get rid of it,” He said joyfully.

“You... you told me to build it.” They looked around. There was one other scientist in the room, a neutron she’d barely seen before.

“Well, that’s called a joke. This’ll go perfectly fine! Emerald, turn it on.”

The ray started lighting up. “Wait, wait please no! Can’t you just- give the-” It was no use talking. she was going to die.

A plastic barrier started surrounding Lily, but even without it she could barely move. “Shoot it now.”

“Wait, PLEAS-” Lily dropped on the floor, unconscious, their body turning blue.

“Hm. Disappointing.”

[oldcoyote]

i just realised that i only ever post about my life here when it's falling apart so this is just to say that a few days ago, i pushed through my absolutely crippling fear of failure (which had me struggling to try to do anything creative or otherwise) and finished a story, and posted it

i felt sick the entire time, felt my chest hurting, but i did it anyway and i got through it. even afterwards, when i should have been proud of myself for the achievement, i felt awful because i think i was still coming down from the physical side effects of the terror

but the story is up, and overnight it's received such an incredible response for what i was wholly convinced was my worst work. the joy it's given so many readers already and their incredible comments have made me realise that i am no reliable judge of my own work at any point, and most especially at my worst

it's not much, but it's progress. i'm still afraid. i had hoped that pushing through and achieving something like this would erase the fear and show me i don't have to be scared, but i'm still sick to the stomach thinking of possibly failing everything i try to do

but now at least i know that i'm strong enough to do it anyway

[gender-darling]

(⠀🎀⠀) : ❝ Phobia flags (Part 3) ❞

[Image IDs: 3 flags: The first flag is a rectangular flag with eleven equally sized horizontal stripes. The colors from top to bottom are as follows, and are mirrored after the last mentioned color: Sandy yellow, gold, dark orange, navy blue, darker navy blue, and darkest magenta.

The second flag is a rectangular flag with eleven equally sized horizontal stripes. The colors from top to bottom are as follows, and are mirrored after the last mentioned color: Pale indigo, lavender, pale lavender, almost white sky blue, pale cyan green, an pastel mint green.

The third flag is a rectangular flag with eleven equally sized horizontal stripes. The colors from top to bottom are as follows, and are mirrored after the last mentioned color: Darkest gray, dark red-brown, caramel brown, light brown, beige, and white. /IDs end.]

— ❝ Atychiphobia(link), odontophobia(link), and zoophobia(link) flags ❞

　　���　Tagging @mousesquared and @mad-pride. This is not a gender , do not tag it as such

Please read my rentry before interacting ! Don't repost ! ♡

Like what i do ? Consider donating to my Ko-Fi !

[xansaysthing]

me: “i have a phobia of failure”

anyone: “omg me too! Like, if i get a C on a test I get soo sad”

me: “i have genuine panic attacks over just considering the fact i could get a B on a test I haven’t even taken.”

[tomesmithpress]

THE FEAR OF... (FREE for all Patrons!) Trigger Warnings: claustrophobia, atychiphobia, nosophobia, aerophobia, trypophobia.

The pitter patter of creepy crawlies. The shiver up your spine. Ice in your veins and the heavy beat of your heart. The Fear comes in many forms, a master composer with dread as their masterpiece. You want to survive them? First tell me this… Are you ready to face your Fear?

Included

PDF

Fear of Enclosed Spaces

Fear of Failure

Fear of Disease

Fear of Flying

The First Night

Servant of the First Night

[diabeticasshat]

hi guys ! since twitter isn't doing my reach well i'll have to resort uploading on tumblr, anyways, here's some au stuff ^u^

[powerlesshero]

PHOBIAS!!!

Everyone has at least 1-2 phobias. My Main characters for my YouTube series The Powerless Hero have their own phobias. Some of these have to do with it's lore and some is for plot purposes. But that doesn't mean these phobias are not real. Phobias are caused by traumatic events that lead to having a constant fear of an object or occurrence. What is your phobia??

[madewithonerib]

quote via thehopefulquotes | Evan Abrahamson via itsloriel

[ii-strange-confessions]

Atychiphobia Part 4 - Greed and Lust

[NOTE: Minor blood warning!]

Delta hated the rain. Delta hated being right next to some boring city next to some boring forest. The grasslands were dangerous, but they were comforting. Right, Delta? It’s not that you could have lived a normal life here. It’s not that you want some twisted reality you could never have. Where you could change something. The thoughts echoed in their head. They still hated the city. But the grasslands. But the facility. Too many thoughts were flooding their brain. Why did this all go wrong. Why did this all go so, SO-

14 YEARS AGO

“Delta, I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Oh, come on Lustre! It’ll be fine.” The electron was hanging onto a wire fence.

“It’s just... this might be a bit too much? This is owned by a big organization, and if we get caught, then we could, or would go to jail.”

“Look, we’re not gonna get caught.” Delta climbed across the fence. “See? Easy. Now, to climb the fence, all you have to do is-” The photon flied across the fence. “Oh. That too.”

“Well, that was boring.” Delta said.

The bat-like photon looked at them. “You understand my point now, right?”

“Yeah, I guesssss. But still, it could’ve been fun!”

“Fun isn’t what I’m trying to explain here.”

“Cheer up. What’s the point of life if you can’t do anything fun?”

“...Maybe you have a point there.”

“Now THATS the Lustre I know!” Delta knew Lustre wasn’t as sad as he looked. But why would he act that way, Delta thought. He wasn’t an electron.

“Shouldn’t you be working on your studies right now?”

“Chill out, I’m fine,” The electron said. “I’ve got this test in the bag.”

“The test was a week ago. They don’t make up all your grades.”

“But do I care?”

“You never have, really.”

“Yeah, ‘cause it doesn’t matter!”

“Eh. Lets agree to disagree.” The photon paused. “You could be really good at this thing.”

“Meh, whatever.”

“End of the school year, I guess.”

“Yeah.” Lustre muttered.

“...So. I’m presuming you’ve done great on your grades, right?”

“Yeah. sorta.”

“That’s good. But, uh, I’ve actually been working more on this school thing. I’m sure you’d like that. You know, I’ve actually been researching, and there’s this big science company near us, and it researches strange matter, which is surprisingly interesting, you see-”

Lustre had left them.

“Aw sweet, I got accepted to Rosewood! That’s the best alt-particle college in the state!” Delta looked around. “Lustre?”

“Oh. Hi.”

“What did you get?”

“...Thomson.”

“Thomson!?” Delta was shocked. “Surely you’re better than that!”

“Whatever, as you say.” Lustre looked apathetic. “Guess we won’t be together anymore.”

The electron panicked. “Woah, woah. Don’t worry! I’ll go to Thomson with you.”

“Of course you wont. This is too good of an opportunity. Why would you give up now.”

“...I guess. But I can visit you! It’ll be fine. I know it’ll be fine.” Delta tried to keep Lustre calm. Their mind scrambled for things to say. “Don’t get sad. It, uh, spreads all over you, like that... strange matter thing I showed you! You remember that, right?”

“Sure. Whatever you say.”

Delta. Of course. Delta, you idiot! You’ve been too soft, and now they’re going to ghost you, sooner or later. Just. Please come now, Lustre.

To Delta’s relief, the photon came out from behind a building. “Oh. Hi.” They didn’t smile, but they never smiled. This was normal. How were they even supposed to fix this now...

“Hi, Lustre!” Delta tried to look positive.

“Why are you... acting like that?”

“What? What do you mean? I’m not acting strange. In fact, thats quite rude of you to say.”

The photon didn’t seem to listen. “You know, Delta... there’s this group of people, photons, mainly, that I’ve been seeing, and they’re pretty nice.”

“...What do you mean.”

“Oh, uh, they’re a group. Dedicated to the sun. A-and theres electrons there too! You could join!”

“Lustre. You don’t mean-”

“Delta,” The photon said somewhat sadly, “I’m just gonna. Talk to these people more. Branch out a bit.” Delta wasn’t saying anything. “Sorry.” Lustre floated away.

6 YEARS AGO

“Woah. Lily.”

“Char-arm.”

“Charm.” Delta still wasn’t used to the new name. “What have you done with the place?”

“o-Oh, the floor isN’t real wood. It’s JusTTT a pattern plaster-ERed on.”

“Huh. I’m just confused how you could add all of that.”

“W-ELl. I’m not useless.”

They were still curious. How could they ask this... maybe this could be positive? People liked positivity, right? Delta wondered why they were struggling with such easy conversations again. “Well, I meant it was impressive that you could do that.”

“yEah, yeah, whate-E-verrr.” Charm paused. “Have you been. Ge-ETTIng food? A-After you got FIRed and all that-t.”

“Oh. That’s not important, I still have money.” Delta couldn’t tell Charm that they were stealing food.

“wEll. good for you.”

“...Oh- Wait, how have YOU been getting food?”

“I... havE-E-EN’t, really. The machine kEEps me alive, but I-I’ve been starving fo-Or the past few... I can’t kEep track of the ti-time.

“Oh. Damn. I’m... sorry. Are you alright?”

“N-O???? I’ve been just sitting he-ERE for who knOWS how long.” Charm glanced at Delta after a brief pause. “Don’t think thAAAAAt being jobless makes Y-Our situa-T-Tion any better.”

“Oh, that wasn’t what I was saying. Just. It’s hard for both of us. Equally. Or, I mean-”

“E-E-Equally? what DO you Me-An equally???”

“N-No, I meant-”

“How-ow many times do I hA-A-Ave to say I’ve been here for A-AGES, and if I stay here for ONE M-OR-ORE SECOND I’m going to-”

“...Charm.”

“Ge-et out.”

2 MONTHS AGO

They had barely been surviving for the past 5 years. They could get some minor jobs, but as a broke electron, they really had nowhere to go. It was a miracle they hadn’t rebirthed, but perhaps that’s just a habit their parents put in them. They had always wondered if they should go back to Charm, but they had fought off the urge. But. It couldn’t hurt, could it? All they had to do was just open the door. It had been 5 years, sure things have chang-

“Delta?” Delta jumped. There was a photon behind them, grey, sort of bat-like, and...

“Lustre?”

“Delta. It’s you. It’s really you! A-a lot of amazing things have happened and, in the past 7ish, whatever years and-”

“Hey, heyheyhey, slow down.” Delta paused. They couldn’t find any major differences in their appearance other than tattoos on them, which seemed to be reminiscent of the...

“o-Oh, are you wondering what happened? Because. A lot of stuff happened. A lot of good stuff!” Delta knew where this was going. “So that. Sun group I showed you! I know you might not completely like it, but it’s really cool! I mean, it’s really nice to have people who can help you with... I can’t really explain it but it’s really good!”

“Lustre... I’m. Glad to see you, but...” Delta didn’t know how to talk through this. Maybe they just had to be less... sensitive. That was the word. “It’s been a long time. It’s hard to remember stuff.”

“Oh. Well. That’s fine! The past doesn't really matter now... I can tell you all about what’s happened.”

“Hah. Yeah. It’s. Not been good for me.”

“Oh. Well... You know. Joining is always an option.”

“Lustre, I... appreciate. The offer. But. Maybe we could take this slower. Or something.”

“Oh. o-Okay. That’s alright.”

“Yeah. This’ll be fine.” Delta tried to convince themselves this. They had nowhere else to go, and this was their friend, nothing about the sun would hurt it-

Another photon flew in from behind the corner. “Oh, Lustre? Did you find a new recruit?” It was yellow, with butterfly wings...

Delta stood silently. Lustre jumped in shock. “Oh, uh, not right now, Syzygy. Just a normal civilian-”

“Well, you know the rules. It’s best to... eliminate those who have came into contact. Or whatever.” Syzygy pushed Lustre away. “Hey, This one looks familiar!”

“What- really? You know Delta?” Delta was praying to whatever stupid god was in the heavens.

“Delta,” The words seemed to slither out of the photon’s mouth. “I know that name...” In a split second, Syzygy unsheathed her claws and lunged at Delta, scarring their face. “Ugh. Unlucky aim.”

“What- Syzygy, what are you doing!?”

“LUSTRE THIS IS WHAT I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT CULT AND NOW WE’RE- I’M GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF IT.” Their mind scrambled for something to say. “YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS.” The photon seemed to be frozen.

“Aw, come on, Lustre. Where is a damn knife when a girl needs one... Don’t listen to some electron. Now. Do your little wing thing.”

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, WING THING??????”

“I... It’s...”

“Oh, Lustre here just got a special thing when they joined us. Their wings can empower others! Or, photons. Something to do with light rays, I don’t care. Anyways, c’mon, we’re waiting for you.” Delta knew that Lustre had probably gone insane, but they wouldn’t do this. Right?

“...Fine.” The photon whipped their wings out, shining light onto Syzygy.

“Eh, whatever.” The photon seemed to be reverberating with energy. “I’ll make this quick.”

Energy. The last time Delta saw her, the photon was crippled when attacked by energy. All they needed was a spark- which they were horrible at creating. Delta tried reaching for something. Anything.

“Oh, feel free to escape,” Syzygy said, surprisingly quietly. “I love chasing scared prey.” Lustre’s wings faltered.

Delta found a matchstick. Twitching, they rubbed it against their tail, setting both on fire. Their tail would become damaged and the pain quite literally burned, but this was their only way to create energy.

“No running. Okay. Whatever.” She lunged at Delta, and they attempted to hold their burning tail up to the photon, praying that they wouldn’t die, praying that they had a reason not to die, praying that-

Delta woke up on the ground, their arms bleeding and tail burnt. They stood up. The photons were gone, with a minor trail of blood going the opposite direction. Maybe they left. At least Lustre wasn’t that horrible. It didn’t matter to them either way, they were dead to Delta. Their body still hurt. Maybe they’d get a drink, there was a good electron bar somewhere around here... While walking towards it, they saw a proton and some other cultish photon. Eh, they’d worry about them later.

[a-rand0m-bl0g]

I just realized I have atychiphobia

[zmbiegng]

helpp

[diabeticasshat]

have albino ramona and half japenese todd <3 !!! i like how i rendered this lol