#avoidance antics
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Self-saboteur
I spend so much time in my mind.
Things are okay, I am okay, I am loved.
I am growing, learning but have a purpose.
Then, here it comes.
Self-saboteur; Criticising, putting myself down.
Convincing myself that others see me the exact same way I see myself.
The snowball effect of overthinking and catastrophising the ‘what if’s’.
It’s a never ending cycle.
Rinse and repeat - why?
But no matter what.
Since from when I can remember.
My flame has never completely dimmed, my family taught me resilience, to be humble.
Thank you.
Because, in the darkest of times, when the negatively around me is inescapable.
It’s overwhelming, I’m scared.. but.
That flame still burns.
It’s ironic that when things are going well, my mind is consumed by what will bring it all crashing down,
and when things do get a little tough, my mind.. eventually.
But always reminds me, that
“you’re okay”
-UR
#addictionarchives#avoidance antics#almostgrowth#relapseandrepeat#traumadumptruck#selfsabotagesquad#healingishard#copingmechanismchronicals#feelingsareoverrated#emotionaldamageinc#spiralingwithstyle#denialden#humourandhurt#snarkysobriety#punchlinesandpain#cynicalconfessions#therapythoughts#mindfulmeltdowns#recoveyramblings#mentalhealthmusings#sobrietystruggles#anxietyaffirmations#depressiondiaries#healinghumour
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whenever people talk about who John Constantine would take in as an apprentice and they bring up characters like Jason Todd or Xanthe Zhou because they've been re-animated from the dead or whatever I think these are foolish options. As an anti-legacy character, Johnstantine is supposed to lose his friends and loved ones so these non-committal nerds are out of the question. But you know who actually commits to the bit? Of being dead? And would be a perfect Johnstantine companion???
yeah that's right. He's so good at being dead that he was dead before he was even born. Which is to say he was never born. Goldie's not even an apprentice he just hangs out and haunts the guy. This is the only correct answer.
#ramblings#noah ikumelo is the other correct answer but not as an apprentice but a travel companion- his origin is smartly in tune with hellblazer#a lot can be said to how fandom (and even dc comics) reduces a complex character into comfortable stereotypical tropes#that's how we get “grumpy magic user detective needs a sassy kid to take care of” instead of “constantine purposefully avoids kids-#-because he doesn't want them to get sucked into his antics. and whenever he tries to let a kid in his life he regrets it" og hellblazer#but why would I say all that when I could direct you to goldie wiggling into the rocks again?#jesncin dc meta#lmao
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#tgwk episode#clangen#clangen art#warrior cats#btw rainpool is a sweetheart heatherdash was just being DUMB and she was tired of his antics lol#both were pining hard and heatherdash was being avoidant and nervous#and rainpool said enough was enough
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this week on CoS: our intrepid adventurers are reunited after being scattered to the winds outside vellaki. also ismark is there for some reason
#curse of strahd#ireena kolyana#ismark kolyanovich#ill probably keep drawing for this group. we're having a lot of fun doing quality barovian suffering (tm)#i'll try to keep it to fun character stuff and avoid module spoilers because it's good!! everyone go play CoS!!!#dont!!! give me spoilers tho!!! we're not all that far in and i dont want any metagame info!!! i want to fuck up on my own terms!!!#krem scribbles#krem's CoS game#krem's session antics
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ngl it sort of pisses me off the way adults regard Gojo in Jujutsu Kaisen at times. Which could be a very interesting and poignant point in a good way if well written, but as it is it becomes mainly just frustrating and sad in a negative way.
Nanami saying Gojo never cared about anything or anyone other than himself crashes interestingly with Kusakabe saying the whole situation was just all his fault because he refused to kill Itadori. The students are very aware of those aspects of Gojo's personality, but overall they seem to regard him with way more kindness and fondness even when at their rudest, not truly coinciding with either Nanami's or Kusakabe's views.
#Kusakabe's words are harsh and negative but there's some true and some logic to them#but in beholding the entire story and the whole context‚ especially with the flashbacks in mind‚ in getting to know the sweet kid Yuuji is‚#the reader is made to find Kusakabe's words a bit outrageous and cruel and Gojo's position becomes the obvious one like Nanami's was#Like Kusakabe's is too in a way since he too says no matter what it's always the adults' fault whatever the cause was#And following the story we see Gojo cared a lot about those kids and them keeping their youthful cheerfulness if in his very flippant way#That's basically his main constant thread. We see it at the very beginning in what he did for Yuta and how Yuta is so fond of him#We see him at the very end in a way too with the letters he left#And his entire motivation was changing the very messed up society to avoid the kids going through what he and his friends went through#and to prevent them from being lonely the way he felt he was. Ontologically alienated. Entirely othered#And of course it's in part him keeping people away like Shoko. Or even Yuta (though here again it's at the core of his action his attempt#at protecting the kids and trying to prevent them from growing too fast)#And of course this is motivated by his own experiences and in that sense not entirely a selfless act#But those things still don't negate that his goal was for the future kids to be... in a better situation than what he and his friends lived#So Nanami's words are very cruel and... blind. Of course it's possible that Gojo's way of approaching the problem is still something#Nanami would regard as selfish (but it could be argued that so is Nanami's)‚ or that Gojo's perception of Nanami's way of thinking#about him would be this negative. But what we see through the story absolutely contradict Nanami's words in that airport#And though both Nanami's words and Kusakabe's are negative in regards to Gojo‚ they in a way contradict each other#The kids' words and way of seeing Gojo is most of the time more... accurate? If also diverse among them#They see him like an idiot. They trust him. They think he's childish and annoying. They love him#They find him flippant. They know he cares about them. In a way they see both what Kusakabe and Nanami say about him#The negative. And the ultimate positive aspect at the core of it all. That Gojo did care and that Gojo did take care#and that Gojo risked and sacrificed a lot for them and that Gojo was doing this in great part because of his own past#Yuta perhaps is the one who sees it best but it's so interesting too the dynamic Maki‚ Yuuji and Megumi have with Gojo‚ his acts and antics#And this whole thing‚ this frivolous and even... cruel way most adults seem to regard Gojo and how it clashes with the kids' deep feelings#about him (beyond the initial 'he's an untrustworthy idiot' though those as well!') is super interesting and super sad and super juicy#OR IT COULD BE bc in the end all that happens is that Nanami says that and Gojo pouts comically or that Kusakabe makes that offhand comment#as if it held no weight‚ as if Yuji weren't present and had never agonised over it‚ as if Gojo hadn't lost his life trying to save the kid#And yes he risked more than his life but he was trying to save a kid bc another kid (bc Megumi!) asked. But maybe it didn't matter if no one#asked. He saved Yuta too. Of course he would have risked it all. In his mix of selfishness and selflessness. Everything is so juicy#yet the writing feels so dry and lame. There's no pondering. There's talk of guilt and grief without any true sense of grieving or loss
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I'm a Porter shifter confirmed
#i am infact avoidant i fear#gimme a gift card to therapy for christmas#redacted audio#karmic antics#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted fandom#redacted porter#redacted treasure
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Im about to make so many OCs for HSR, and Genshin because I am so FASCINATED by the stories, the lore, the designs, the characters, so even though I know I can't feasibly play the games (I will become broke and I know this from playing Hogwarts Mystery I BLEW THROUGH MY SAVINGS LMAO), I am and have always been the queen of OCs.
IM TRYING TO BRANCH INTO OTHER INTERESTS!!!
Also, I think I'm going to adjust my expectancy for AbiDan-Pril, and DAbiTou-ber. They are personal projects and I deserve to take my time on them!!!! Both will go into May/June, and Nov/Dec respectively 💙💙
This is also because I am part of a Pokemon group that I want to do more for, so I need to allow myself some breathing room.
#Im gonna adjust my lists too#air's antics#i want to work on other things and I am stressing myself out over fun projects#for no good goddamn reason#i deserve to have fun and work on other projects too#and this will hopefully help me avoid burn out
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I started an honor mode playthrough with probably the cutest tiefling in bg3 and I fuckn got killed during the Phase Spider Matriarch, so I decided to continue my save with dishonor because my character was just so damn cute. Well for some reason or another the game didn't?? Switch it to custom mode?? It's still honor mode??
So I'm either going to get those golden dice in the most dishonorable way possible or the game is just pulling on my leg and It's just honor mode without the reward.
#simon says#the character btw is a pink tiefling fae warlock/bard named Poetry#she's wearing purple and yellow clothes until I find pink dye#and she's wearing the volo bard reward clothes which make her look absolutely adorable??#i just gotta draw her soon#she's also a Wyll romance. because I have yet to romance Wyll and I think warlock/bard is a GREAT combination to romance him with#it's funny because so far Astarion has been my main romance (i think 3 times now)#and he fuckin HATES her#Poetry is a little goodie two shoes who is not using those Illithid powers so everyone else loves her kindness and whimsy#and Astarion thinks she's the world's biggest pinkest killjoy#legit got angry at her and asked if it's her life purpose to ruin his fun#it's gonna take him a while and a lot of silly responses to get him to warm up to her#and i dont think the mild annoyance at her goody goody antics will go away#but yeah i just... love her so much#the other playthrough is another goody goody no illithid playthrough but he's a half-drow druid saving himself for Halsin#it's pretty funny as Poetry though because Shadowheart is already ready to start something together and Gale has started flirting#but she's only got eyes on the blade of Frontiers baby#oh and Poetry is also a dark urge playthrough who is avoiding her urges as much as possible#unless it's an unavoidable event she is surpressing that#Bhaal somehow spawned the world's cutest murder machine#anyways im gonna keep playing today because im tired (i drank last night) but I gotta draw poetry soon she's so cute
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thought an anime would be about a prince deciding to move to the countryside to properly court his bethrothed, possibly leaving the royal family, and letting her be herself, and them falling in love
got so disappointed that no its about the bethrothed 10000% not wanting to marry into royal life, constantly trying to escape and being caught, being framed as at least somewhat selfish because HE loves her and shes hurting his feelings despite her putting up with this for a decade only to get a TASTE of freedom
#at least the people in the manga comment section seem to agree with me that its just fucking sad#a bit of cat and mouse? push and pull? tsundere antics? sure#but this just isnt it#they even showed how happy she was in her hometown and how everybody there loved her#HE saw that#acknowledged it#and still forced her back to the castle#its called “i want to escape princess lessons” in case anyone reading this far wants to avoid (or watch) it#pet talks#more like rants
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#*PLEASE* DON'T TELL ME I'M GOING TO HAVE AN INFLUX OF CLOWN RELIGIOUS FANATICS ON THIS BLOG#ONE IN MY LIFE IS ENOUGH!#CAN'T THE NONEXISTANT FESTIVE ASSHOLE CLOWNGOD GRANT ME AT LEAST THIS ONE TINY MERCY?#I AM FUCKING *PRAYING* AT THIS POINT. I'M BEING *CONVERTED* AT THIS POINT IN MY FUCKING LIFE JUST TO AVOID#HAVING TO DEAL WITH MORE SHITTY CLOWN ANTICS THAN I ALREADY DO.#karkat vantas#homestuck#homestuck ask blog#askshoutyasshole
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heated debate in the sibling chat about whether I’m more of an aerith or a cloud. it has been agreed that my younger brothers are Vincent and nanaki, and my older sister is sort of a reeve type, but there is discussion of whether my sense of whimsy and zest for life is too strong for me to be cloud and whether my pathological avoidance coping is too strong for me to be anyone but cloud. I’m the one who brought this up but I’m swiftly regretting it :/
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coughs this
#ANtics#wip tag NOW#Something New#obligatory 'i am still alive' post once again#there's something about this that's contradictory... not that yn knows. the bartender certainly didn't tell them#chapter progress is actually speeding along pretty well now i've kind of like. been experimenting with different ways of writing things-#out to avoid any BIG blocks/hangups and it's actually working out pretty well!#advice to other new writers out there: if you're having trouble getting conversations from fic outlines then you need to start outlining-#the conversations too. get more granular. my conversation bullets used to be “x and y character talk about z” then when it came down to it-#i'd always get stuck on it bc there's so little elaboration in the outline. so elaborate more!
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I try to ghost people who lie for fun. They're like if AI slop was a person.
"lying is wrong" what evangelical nonsense is this???
#what are you a car salesman?#its almost funny coworkers ive had who are like this because#you just nod and smile when you catch them they get so pleased with themselves#and ramp up the antics#like ok Alicia im casualty avoiding you so have fun doing chores by youreself ill be on the other side of the store talking to someone else
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✿ - @smilesadistique
@smilesadistique
send me a ✿ and i’ll fill out the template below. bold for things i could definitely see or want, italics for things i could see or am unsure of
FRIENDSHIP. childhood friends / work buddies or coworkers / family friends / friends with benefits / smoking buddies / adventure buddies / fake friends / recently friends / party buddies / friendship of need / dying friendship / circumstantial friendship / partners in crime / old friendship / [ your muse ] is the good influence / [ your muse ] is the bad influence / [ my muse ] is the good influence / [ my muse ] is the bad influence (no one is a good influence here lol) / opposites attract / ride or die / frenemies / roommates or flatmates / penpals / exes to friends / enemies to friends / other
ANTAGONISTIC. dangerous to each other / dangerous to others / unpredictable / rivals / petty / developing into sexual or romantic tension / based off family matters / based of off circumstance / based of professional matters / based off misunderstanding or lies / conflict of ideology / betrayal (I could see it in either direction) / hero - villain dynamic / enemies / fight club / friends turned enemies / lovers turned enemies / exes turned enemies / other
#smilesadistique#the only way i see riley as bek g a “good influence” is trying to avoid doing anything that might draw attention to their antics#whether or not she succeeds well...... she tries
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Also feel free to be disappointed in me for forgetting the following, important details about Dante:
hat.
wears chaps like they're actual fashion (unless he's at work)
#air's antics#I can't believe I've done this to him HAHAHA#TO BE FAIR#I'M PROBABLY AVOIDING DRAWING HIM IN A COWBOY HAT ALL THE TIME BECAUSE#I CANNOT DRAW COWBOY HATS VERY WELL KNGNGAGKHDSFH
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stream madness pt. 2
Lando Norris x Reader
Summary: Lando Norris embraced his now-public relationship as a chance to openly and unapologetically adore his girlfriend. Fans saw it as a win—though it came at the cost of Max F constantly getting roped into their antics.
Words: 4.8k
Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, suggestive dialogue
part 1 | part 3 | part 4


Protect Max
Fans were absolutely loving how Y/N had become a bigger part of Max’s streams. They got to see a side of her they’d never caught on social media and beyond the glimpses from the paddock with Lando.
It was just another day of chatting and gaming for the two during a break between races, the pair sat in an ever familiar room in Lando's place in Monaco, but with him absent as Max had mentioned he went out for training.
"We just agreed on not using grenades you cheat! Lando's rubbing off on you way too much. I don't like it" Max exclaims as his character on Counterstrike once again, gets killed by Y/N less than a minute into the round.
"Oh go cry about it Max, just admit I'm better than you" Y/N smirks as she grabs her water bottle to take a sip
"You cheated! I got absolutely knocked by that"
"Fine! You big baby, no grenades this time, promise" Y/N groans as they start another round
"they're so sibling coded" "not bob getting dethroned from being Max's gaming partner" "she's so gonna beat Max again this round"
“Okay, chat, no need to rub salt in the wound—by the way, I was the one who taught you how to play, you should be grateful—shit!”
Max was mid-sentence when Y/N sniped him, knocking him out of the game and securing yet another win—this time, fair and square.
“The student becomes the master,” she smirked, leaning back in her chair, clearly enjoying the moment.
"What's going on here?" the mic picks up Lando's voice before he even enters the frame.
"I'm absolutely dominating on counterstrike—did you just get back?" A playful smile spreads across Y/N's face as Lando walks into the room, standing behind her chair and gently massaging her shoulders.
"I've already showered and everything. Been here the past 30 minutes, you two were too busy bickering—I could hear you all the way down the hall," Lando chuckles, looking down at her with a cheeky grin.
He leans in, but Y/N quickly shifts away, avoiding the kiss.
"You're avoiding my kisses now?" Lando teases, his mouth hanging open in mock surprise.
"The stream, Lan..." Y/N mutters, a little pout on her lips, making Lando laugh softly.
"Alright baby, for our eyes only, yeah?" Lando smirks, leaning back down while reaching for the camera, his hand covering it just in time to hide their kiss.
"Hello?! My eyes! My eyes! What about Max’s eyes?!" Max's shout makes the two burst into laughter as Lando pulls his hand away, revealing Max’s face, twisted in utter disgust.
"lol poor max" "bet he misses P a lil extra today" "i think im going to cardiac arrest they're so cute"
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Snitches get stiches
The night before testing in Bahrain, Lando hopped onto Max’s stream for a few rounds, confident as ever. After absolutely schooling Max, he decided it was time to call it a night, shutting down his setup and stepping away.
What he didn’t step away from, however, was the chat.
Curled up in bed, phone in hand, Lando lurked—dropping smug messages every few minutes. No matter how much Max tried to ignore him, chat was loving it, egging Lando on as he tormented his friend from the shadows.
" 'Just take the L—' Mate, I did take the L. You’re the one still lurking in chat," Max laughed, shaking his head as yet another message from Lando popped up. "You have testing tomorrow, by the way."
Then, a new message appeared.
"Ed said he let you win this morning."
Max smirked, grabbing his phone. Without a word, he held up a finger to the camera and pressed dial. The stream went quiet as he waited. After a few rings, a familiar voice came through the speaker.
"Hey, Y/N, you alright? Sorry if I woke you. You’re in Bahrain with Lando, yeah?" Max finally said, his grin growing wider at the thought of absolutely snitching on his best friend.
"Hey, Maxie. No you're good, just in the other room catching up on work. Lando went to bed about an hour ago. Everything okay? Do I need to wake him up?" Y/N sounded concerned.
"Yeah, 'bout that... he’s wide awake, actually—just finished streaming golf with me. Wouldn’t leave my chat."
The pause on the other end was almost too satisfying. Max leaned back, waiting patiently, his smirk never fading. The sound of rustling and soft footsteps had him turning up the volume, bringing his phone closer to the mic. He even covered his mouth, stifling his laughter, determined to catch this golden moment in all its glory.
"bro is cooked" "oh no she's mad" "not max snitching on lando AGAIN"
"You’ve got testing tomorrow, Lan." "Fucking snitch, Max! Grow up!" Lando’s voice barely made it through, muffled. "You said you were going to bed an hour ago," Y/N said, clearly not amused. "Baby, I am in bed," Lando mumbled, his tone defensive. "You were just playing with Max—" "—For one round, my love. I’m in bed now, aren’t I?" "Don’t play me, Norris. Go to sleep, or I’m taking your phone away." “How am I supposed to sleep without you next to me, huh?” Lando’s voice was full of fake desperation, stretching the words out like he was pleading for a lifeline.
“Right, well, now I’m about to throw up,” Max interrupted, cutting through the conversation with his dry humour.
"Fewtrell, you knew better. shouldn't have entertained him when he asked you to play." "yeah that's right! you get him baby" "Didn't I say go to sleep? I'm telling Jon about this tomorrow" "This isn't over Max!" Lando manages to shout before the line cuts.
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Taking her back
Lando, Max, and Y/N had been best friends long before Lando and Y/N started dating, and though Lando loved how well his girlfriend and best mate got along, there were times when his jealousy got the best of him.
"Baby, come on. You've been playing with Max forever!" Lando whined, his voice dripping with playful frustration. Both Y/N and Max paused their game, turning to see Lando dramatically sprawled out in the chair behind them, looking all sorts of pouty.
"Lan, you’ve been glued to your phone for the past two hours," Y/N teased with a laugh. "We’ve asked you to join us, like, a million times"
"That’s different!" Lando huffed. "I need you. Did you not miss me? It’s the first time we’ve seen each other in a week!" He gave them a puppy-dog look, and Y/N couldn’t help but smile at his adorable pout.
"A week’s not that long, mate," Max teased, unable to resist poking fun.
"Shut up, you dickhead. I wasn’t talking to you," Lando snapped back, a grin playing at the corners of his mouth. "You're only saying that because P’s been with you the whole time."
"Y/N is literally 6 feet away from you—" Max shot back, raising an eyebrow.
"—Yeah? And you’re about 6 feet away from getting punched," Lando retorted, his playful threat making everyone laugh.
"You’re so easy to wind up," Max said, shaking his head in amusement, clearly enjoying Lando's reaction.
"Very mature, you two," Y/N spoke up, watching the back-and-forth between Lando and Max with an amused smile.
"Baby, please, can we kick Max out? I need some me and you time," Lando groaned, rolling his chair closer to Y/N, his eyes full of exaggerated desperation.
"Lando, chat asked her to join my stream today," Max protested, raising an eyebrow. "You’re really gonna steal her away from them?"
"They’re stealing her away from me right now," Lando shot back, narrowing his eyes playfully at the camera.
"Alright, you big baby, one more round, then we'll leave Max alone," Y/N chuckled, turning to face Lando and gently running her hand through his hair.
"No. Now," Lando pouted, shamelessly showing just how needy he was, making Y/N laugh as she gave him a soft, teasing look.
"I'm about this close to bleaching my eyes and ears, mate," Max teased, smirking at the chaos unfolding.
"I'm about this close to kicking you out of my flat—" Lando leaned forward, narrowing his eyes at Max.
"—OKAY. Chat, my kids are throwing tantrums now, I think it’s time for me to go," Y/N sighed in defeat, sitting up straight with a playful roll of her eyes. "You two are impossible." She gave both of them an exasperated but affectionate look, knowing she’d have to be the voice of reason.
"boooo! not bob stealing y/n from us" "NOOO don't leave Y/N" "LN being selfish lol" "hes neeeedy"
Max let out a laugh as he read through the chat, clearly enjoying the chaos. "They're booing you, mate—yeah, chat! That's right! He’s stealing Y/N from us!" Max egged them on, his voice full of mischief.
Just as Y/N stood up from her seat, ready to leave, Lando grabbed her arm, pulling her back down onto his lap. He held her firmly by the waist, giving her a quick kiss.
Y/N gently shoved him, standing up again with a soft laugh, trying to hide the flustered look that had crept onto her face from his sudden move. Lando, now sporting a proud smirk, looked straight at the camera. "Gotta take my girl back now, chat," he said with a playful wink. "We’ll see you guys next time."
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Look at my girl
"Did you get the code? I sent it to you on WhatsApp," Lando said, setting his phone down and turning his attention back to his screen as he finished setting up the game.
"Yep, got it. We're using in-game mics, yeah?" Max replied, joining the lobby.
Before Lando could answer, a soft knock echoed through the room. He instinctively pulled off one side of his headphones, swiveling his chair to find Y/N standing by the door.
"I'm heading out now, bub" her voice carried through the mic, chat flooded with messages about how soft Lando’s gaze had just turned.
"Look at you all dressed up—where are you headed, my pretty girl?" Lando smirked, leaning back in his chair, eyes shamelessly trailing over his girlfriend.
A blush crept up Y/N’s cheeks as she shifted on her feet, slightly embarrassed by her boyfriend’s proud declaration. "I’m having lunch with Alex today, remember?"
"You look beautiful, my love," Lando murmured, his grin widening before turning back to his stream. "Chat, doesn’t Y/N look absolutely stunning?"
"Maate, start the bloody game!" Max groaned, dragging out the words in frustration.
Y/N chuckled softly, shaking her head. "Alright, Lan, I gotta go—they're arriving soon."
"Alex is picking you up?" Lando asked, tilting his head as he kept his eyes on her.
Y/N nodded. "Charles offered to drop us off at the restaurant. I'll bring you home food, and I’ll send you the menu when I get there."
Lando’s expression softened. "Have fun, my love. Text me if you need anything."
"Got it. Bye, chat—" Y/N smiled, giving a small wave as she stepped out the door.
"—What?! Hey, hey, no! Come back—baby, my kiss!" Lando whined, nearly pushing himself out of his seat, watching her leave with a dramatic pout.
She let out a playful groan but stepped back into the room, making her way toward Lando.
"Look at her, everyone—stunning," Lando grinned, taking her hand in his. "Alright, bye, gorgeous. Have a great time."
Y/N smirked, holding her hand up to the camera—mimicking the way Lando had covered it on a previous stream—before leaning down to press a soft kiss to his lips.
"Thanks for that, Y/N, really appreciate the modesty," Max's voice rang through Lando's headphones, dripping with sarcasm. "Hope you do that to my eyes next time, yeah?"
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Don't look at my girl
Lando had been on Twitch for a good hour now, casually playing UNO with Max and a few other friends on who were on Discord. It was all easygoing banter, a way to kill time before diving into a more intense Tarkov session.
Y/N walked in not too long after, carefully balancing plates of food in her hands. Without looking up from his screen, Lando muttered a quick, “Thanks, love,” too focused on his cards to even glance her way.
It wasn’t until the chat suddenly exploded with rapid messages that his attention flickered toward the comments. His brows furrowed, eyes scanning the screen.
"hi Y/N" "okay hot mama!" "Y/N you look stunning babe" "can Lando fight?"
“‘Can Lando fight’—chat, what the fuck?” he scoffed, finally turning his head toward his girlfriend.
And then he saw it.
The slightly cropped, low-necklined tank top hugging her in all the right places, a sight he was very much happy to see, just not so happy to share with the rest of the world.
His reaction was instant. “Baby… where’s the rest of your shirt?” Lando whined, reaching out to tug at the hem of her top as if he could magically make it longer.
Y/N only laughed, swatting his hands away. “It’s literally just a tank top, Lando.”
“Yeah, and apparently, it’s starting fights in my chat.” He shot a glare at the screen before narrowing his eyes at her playfully.
As Y/N stood up, completely unaware of the way the camera was angled, she leaned forward slightly to grab something from behind the monitor.
Lando, ever vigilant with his quick reflexes, moved faster than ever, one hand darting out to cover her chest while the other reached for the mouse, ready to slam the stream off if necessary.
“Woah, woah—baby! Careful, please,” he blurted out, eyes wide as he practically shielded her from the world.
Connor’s laughter echoed through the call. “LN’s about to have a heart attack, mate.”
Y/N, finally realizing what had just happened, let out a soft laugh as she sat back down, napkins now in hand. “I was just grabbing these, bub. Calm down.”
Lando let out a dramatic sigh, clutching his chest like he’d just lived through a near-death experience. “Baby, please, I’m begging—could you put on a hoodie or something?” His voice was almost desperate, eyes flicking between her and the chat that was going absolutely feral.
Y/N raised a brow, arms crossing over her chest. “You’re overreacting.”
“Yeah, well, they’re not getting a free show,” Lando huffed, shooting a glare at the screen before rolling his eyes. With one last grumble, he finally turned his attention back to his game, picking up his fork to dig into dinner—all while side-eyeing the chat every few seconds.
Meanwhile, Max was wheezing through his mic. “I swear you just aged five years.”
Connor chuckled. “Bro’s fighting battles no one else can see.”
"still cant believe he was able to pull her" "Y/N leave him be with me" "she looks unreal" "lando better know how to fight"
Lando didn’t say a word, just stood up abruptly and rushed out of the room, leaving his friends confused as his turn in UNO was about to run out.
“Where’s he gone now?” Max muttered, clicking onto Lando’s stream, only to see Y/N sitting there, casually eating and playing in his place.
She simply shrugged, unfazed, taking Lando’s turn for him as she popped another bite of food into her mouth. A few seconds later, Lando reappeared, arms full, determination set on his face.
“Pick.”
“Huh?” Y/N blinked up at him, mid-chew.
“Pick one. Shirt, hoodie, or blanket?” He stood in front of her, dead serious, holding up the options like this was a life-or-death decision.
Y/N let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Baby, pick.” Lando repeated, unwavering.
“Lan, it’s really not that—”
Before she could even finish, he had already tossed the clothes onto the floor and made the executive decision himself, unfolding the blanket and draping it over her shoulders. “Right, blanket it is.”
Y/N sat there, wrapped up like a burrito, staring at him in amused disbelief.
Max was howling through the mic. “Mate, she’s looks like she's about to go to bed”
Lando glanced over at her, a proud grin spreading across his face as he admired his work. “There. Better,” he said, his tone smug but warm, clearly pleased with himself for making sure she was all cozy and covered up.
Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at how serious he was about it, “You’re ridiculous, you know that?” she teased, tugging the blanket a little lower, enough to free her hands.
“I’m just making sure you’re comfy,” he replied, his grin only widening. “Don’t want you catching a chill, do I?”
She shook her head, playfully rolling her eyes, but the smile she gave him was all warmth. “You’re something else, Lan.”
Lando only winked, clearly pleased with his efforts. “I try.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Rumour has it
It had only been a couple of weeks since Lando and Y/N had last been seen together in public, but the internet had exploded. Breakup rumors, theories about a fallout, and even claims of a “divorce era” started circulating among fans. Of course, Lando and Y/N found it all utterly ridiculous. But why not have a bit of fun with it?
Tonight, Max was streaming, and Lando was, as usual, by his side. The chat was absolutely flooded with questions and speculations, with fans wondering where Y/N had gone, why they hadn’t seen them together lately, and if they were still a couple. Usually, they wouldn't entertain it, but Lando couldn’t help but grin at the chaos as Max glanced at him, his face filled with mischief.
“Mate, you’ve been dodging questions for weeks now. People are asking if you and Y/N are okay. What's going on? Is it true? Are you in the ‘divorce era’ now?” Max teased, his voice full of drama.
Lando leaned back in his chair, groaning. “Oh don't even say her name around me. We're happily separated,” he said with exaggerated seriousness. He watched as the chat went wild, fans speculating whether he was joking or not.
"this is NOT funny im fighting for my life over here" "i honestly cant tell if hes serious pls" "stop asking ab their personal lives guys" "theyre clearly fine, look at him" "oh theyre fine lol"
Max laughed, clearly enjoying it. “Heard it here first chat, there you go”
Lando shrugged dramatically. “Sometimes, I still hear her voice"
Before Max could respond, the door behind Lando opened. Y/N walked in casually, wearing one of Lando’s hoodies, hair up in a messy bun. She stopped when she saw the camera, raising an eyebrow at Lando’s ridiculous grin.
“Hey, guys,” she said, giving the camera a casual wave.
"See! it's like she's still here” Lando pretends to wipe a tear
Max burst into laughter, while Y/N, confused as ever, attempts to read the chat. "Why are you guys talking about me like I've died?"
Lando looked at her with all seriousness. “Baby please. We're broken up remember, gosh keep up will 'ya"
Y/N nods, the expression on her face immediately switching from confused to locked in. "Oh— guys, being in this room right now pains me. I can't even look at him"
Max, lounging back in his chair with a smirk, couldn't help but shake his head. "You two were definitely eating up this breakup rumour stuff, huh?"
Lando and Y/N couldn't help but break, letting out small laughs at the comment. “Oh fuck yeah, we’ve been lying in bed, giggling like idiots, reading threads and watching tiktoks about it,” Lando said, acting like it was the most normal thing in the world.
“We purposely stopped liking each other’s posts and hid from the public" Y/N grinned, “And had so much fun doing it,” she added, sticking her tongue out at the camera.
Max threw his hands up. “You lot deserve an Oscar for this shit”
Lando, still grinning, nodded enthusiastically. “Oh, mate, you’re telling me— I had Carlos knocking at my hotel room at three in the fucking morning after reading some random breakup article online.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Not so subtle
It was well past 1 AM, but Lando was still wide awake, glued to his Twitch stream, deep into another round of Tarkov with his friends. The chat was slowly saying their goodnights, viewers logging off one by one—but Lando? He and the guys were more awake than ever, already planning a few more rounds like the night had just begun.
Y/N was not one to stop Lando from enjoying his alone time, but it was getting late. She had just finished yet another episode of her go-to comfort show—but sleep still hadn’t come. With a glance at the clock and a sigh, she finally got up, padding toward the other room. Maybe she could convince Lando to get some rest… or at least come fill the cold, empty space beside her.
“Baby… it’s late, come to bed.”
Y/N’s soft voice barely stood a chance against Lando’s, drowned out by his rapid-fire strategy talk and the sharp bursts of gunfire from his game. He didn’t even flinch, too locked in, too focused.
It wasn’t until she stepped closer, bathed in the soft glow of his monitors, that the chat began to stir, messages flooding in at the sight of her. Only then did Lando pull off one side of his headset, glancing up at her with a lazy smile.
“Hi, gorgeous. Thought you were asleep already,” he murmured, seamlessly giving out directions to his teammates in the same breath.
“Couldn’t sleep… You should come to bed now. It’s late.”
“I know, baby. Just give me ten minutes, alright?”
“Bedtime for little Lando?” Connor teased, earning a chuckle from Max and an eye roll from Lando.
“Shut up, Connor."
Instead of leaving, Y/N plopped down in the free chair beside him, mindlessly scrolling through her phone. She barely noticed how time slipped by—until she glanced at the clock. Fifteen minutes had passed since Lando promised he’d be done.
“Lan, it’s been 15.”
“10 more minutes, baby. Just a little longer,” he mumbled, eyes still glued to the screen.
"he's so stubborn lol" "poor y/n" "listen to ur gf pls lando, im sleepy but i have fomo"
Another 15 minutes passed, and Y/N, now visibly annoyed, let out a sigh. “Lando.” No pet name. Just his name. Max chuckled on the other end.
“Mate, I’d log off now if I were you. Y/N is scary when she’s tired and cranky.”
Lando glanced over, taking in her tired expression. “Baby, go to bed, you look exhausted… I’ll be there soon, okay? C’mere, gimme a kiss.”
Smooth. A clear attempt to buy himself a little more time.
Y/N gave him a blank stare, then simply nodded before standing up. No protest, no further attempts to drag him to bed. Instead, she turned to the stream with a small smile.
“Okay… goodnight, guys. Have fun playing with Lan. Goodnight, baby.”
Lando blinked, a little surprised that his plan actually worked. He grinned up at her, feeling triumphant, until she leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, her lips barely brushing his ear as she whispered.
“I was gonna let you have me any way you wanted tonight… your loss.”
His smirk vanished instantly, his head following Y/N's trail, now exiting the room.
"WHAT DID SHE SAY OMG" "look at his face she definitely said something" "bro is cooked lmao" "lando fumbled baaad"
Beyond distracted by what his girlfriend just whispered in his ear, he misses an opponent causing Max to get killed in game earning a battering of complaints
"Gotta log off now guys, goodnight" Lando, without saying a proper goodbye, had managed turn everything off, leaving both the game and his stream in record breaking time.
Max, watching Lando vanish without a word, quickly put the pieces together as the chat exploded with teasing. Realizing he could save his friend from some serious trouble, Max cleared his throat and leaned into the microphone.
“Bet she’s got him in trouble now. He’s probably getting an earful for keeping her waiting.” Max grinned, adding, “Man’s gonna need a serious apology when he gets off. You know how it is—no escaping when she’s upset.”
Even the chat could pick-up how he's working extra hard to save the his best friends from a PR nightmare.
"Max working extra hard tonight" "LN and Y/N got Max sweating bullets lol his face" "Max being the bigger man, respect" "Theyre bout to hear an earful from max too after this"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Shameless
Chat was going wild. It was a random Friday night, no announcements, yet, somehow, Lando had appeared with his own stream. Even Max, mid-game, was caught off guard when the messages started rolling in, asking him to play with Lando.
Lando, sitting in his chair, still looked like he had just stepped out of the shower, his hair damp, he wore a matching grey sweatsuit and hoodie.
“What’s going on, mate? You’re back early. Thought you two were out for dinner?” Max’s unmistakable voice crackled through the speakers as he joined the group Discord, clearly catching onto the sudden shift in the vibe.
“Aye chat, Max is here! Yeah, mate, we were, but got back home and decided to hop on,” Lando cheered, clearly stoked to hear his friend's voice.
“Loving the enthusiasm, man. You seem happy tonight. You up for some golf?” Max chuckled, amused by the energy radiating off Lando.
“We can play whatever you want, Max. Feeling really lucky tonight,” Lando replied, a grin spreading across his face.
Max raised an eyebrow, eyeing him with a teasing smirk. “You’re worrying me a bit, mate. You sick or somethin’? Bit too happy for my liking.”
Lando just kept dancing and singing along to his music, looking even more upbeat, and Max couldn't help but laugh. “Alright, what’s going on with you, seriously?”
It was as if the universe had perfectly timed it—Y/N walked into the room, completely unaware that her boyfriend had already started his stream. She was wearing nothing but the white long-sleeved button-up shirt he had worn during their date earlier that night, the one fans had captured in photos. Her hair was slightly messy, giving her a carefree, just-rolled-out-of-bed look as she casually walked in.
"Lan, did you see my cleanser by any chance? It’s not in the bathroom." Y/N stood just by the door, just enough to be in frame of Lando’s camera.
As soon as she appeared, the chat went wild, and Max couldn’t help but laugh, not even attempting to rescue them this time. “Hey Y/N, my chat's saying Lando’s shirt looks better on you than it did on him.”
Y/N froze for a few seconds, her face turning bright red before she quickly dashed out of the room, her voice still audible through the mic as she shouted, “Lando Norris, you little shit!”
Lando, in too good of a mood to keep it together, couldn’t help but laugh. “Alright, chat, calm down—we’re all adults here.” He leaned back in his chair, a grin spreading across his face as he wiped away a few tears of laughter.
After a beat, he stood up, still chuckling to himself. “I’ll be back in a minute, guys.”
He left the room, probably heading off to help Y/N find her cleanser, maybe even consoling her after the little reveal. The chat was buzzing with teasing comments, but it was clear Lando wasn’t too worried—he’d be back soon, and the situation was already too funny to be mad about.
"post sex stream is insaaane" "man was glowing, no wonder" "PR team fighting for their life after this" "Landos phone bout to blow up" "meeting being set up as we speak"
Lando returned, a smirk still tugging at his lips as he casually sat back down, as if nothing had happened. “Right, Max, what are we playing tonight?”
Max raised an eyebrow, eyeing his friend with a grin. “Look at him, so smug. Had a great night, didn’t you?”
Lando let out a laugh, shrugging nonchalantly. “Told you, mate, we went and had dinner.” He paused for a second, then winked at the camera, his smirk widening. “Just had to head home early to have some dessert.”
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