#baking without dairy

[therealcoolfooddude]

(via Dark Chocolate Tart) Dark Chocolate Tart like you’ve never had it. Silky tofu ganache meets tangy berry sauce for a bold, plant-based twist on a classic. 

[cicadabooks]

2024 Olympic Muffins: Gluten-free and dairy-free option version (with gram and ml conversions)

(Recipe transcript originally from this post above by @norabee)

(Edits: I baked the muffins and I have been rewriting this post with recipe changes!)

Muffins I baked (Gluten/Dairy free version)

Notes:

Makes about 12 standard muffins. Maybe 6 jumbo muffins?

I added gram and ml equivalents based on some websites for converting US measurements. I think 1 teaspoon is same-ish everywhere, it's about 5ml.

The muffins taste VERY chocolatey to me! A friend thinks they have a nice balance of not too much sugar and good chocolate flavor. Either way, it may be nice to pair the muffins with coconut ice cream or coconut whipped cream. Especially if (like me) you baked the muffins with soy milk instead of cow milk - adding back in some cream may complement the chocolate flavors.

FYI, I used decaf instant coffee.

Muffin ingredients:

¾ cup milk (175 ml) (sub in: soymilk or non-dairy milk of choice.)

¼ cup water (60 ml)

2 tsp instant coffee (10 ml)

½ cup cocoa powder (about 40 grams) (Dutch cocoa recommended*)

½ cup chocolate chunks to melt (about 70 grams) (sub in: non-dairy chocolate chunks)

8 TBSP butter (1 stick, or ½ cup, or 113 grams) (sub in: non-dairy butter)

2 cups flour (between 240 grams - 280 grams?) (sub in: gluten-free 1-to-1 mix flour)

1 TBSP baking powder (15 ml)

¼ tsp salt (sea salt or kosher salt) (1 ml?)

½ cup dark brown sugar, packed (about 110 grams)

½ cup granulated sugar (about 100 grams)

¼ cup vegetable oil (about 60 ml)

2 eggs, room temperature

1 tsp vanilla extract (5 ml)

Additional ⅓ cup of chocolate chunks (about 47 grams)

Filling ingredients:

½ cup heavy cream (125 ml) (sub in: coconut cream - scoop out the top cream from a can of full-fat coconut milk.**)

¼ cup chocolate chunks (about 35 grams)

pinch of salt (use sea salt or kosher salt)

Cooking instructions:

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 C).

Add milk, water, and instant coffee to a saucepan, bring to a simmer. (I turned off the heat once it simmered.) Add cocoa powder, mix well, then add chocolate chunks and butter. Stir until melted, transfer to a bowl, and allow to cool.

In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking powder, and salt.

Once the chocolate mixture is cooled - add brown sugar, granulated sugar, oil, eggs, and vanilla. Mix thoroughly.

Add a third of the flour mixture to chocolate mixture and combine. Then add remaining flour mixture, folding in gently. Take care to not over-mix. Then add chocolate chunks (video says to fold in these choco chunks, but it also looks like choco chunks were added on top before baking).

Spoon batter into muffin tins. (Spoon about 1/2 cup or 120ml of batter, or just know that the muffin will poof up.) This might be when to add some chocolate chunks on top of the batter.

Bake for 24 minutes. (Baking time may differ with GF and DF substitutes, often takes longer.)

While waiting - For the filling: add heavy cream, chocolate chunks, and salt to a saucepan, heat until melted, taking care not to come to a boil.

After baking, fill muffins with filling (spoon filling into a ziploc bag, cut corner of bag, cut out a bit of the muffin center with a knife, squeeze filling into muffins)***

Serve.

More Notes:

* Dutch Cocoa suggestion is based on a tumblr tag I saw and also this article. “[....] Dutch-process cocoa powder is usually used for batters containing baking powder.”

** Coconut cream substitution as suggested on this recipe page. (One can had a little more than 1/2 cup cream, when I opened it.)

*** Muffin filling tips from @picturesque-about-it from this post:

"[....] But you could definitely just use a knife to cut out the middle and use a ziploc bag with the corner cut off to fill it." And more ideas -

#honestly…….. it would turn out a bit different but i feel like you could put the filling in before you bake it

#that’s how we made chocolate chip muffins at my old job

#scoop of ganache that would sink as it baked and chocolate chips on top

#they were soooooooo good

if you’re craving chocolate muffins after the olympic muffin man videos, jordan the stallion on tiktok has the recipe for you

[seasonal-bakes-rated]

Marks and Spencer - Made Without Wheat Hot Cross Buns

Gluten free and dairy free, but worth noting they are not Vegan because they contain egg.

I’m fortunate enough to not have any issues with wheat/gluten, which means I’m able to enjoy and compare against a regular traditional hot cross bun.

To be honest, they have a lovely texture for wheat free and although a little smaller and drier, they have a good rise and an almost spongy light texture. They don’t give you the bloat that you get from wheat and shape up as a decent alternative.

8/10

[mixingandmelting]

Hey! So kinda new here but I LOVED your take on how they would react to their s/o thinking Damian's adorable. Everytime he comes up I get in full protective older sister mode and it is so hard to find fics like that (kinda thinking about writing it myself). But I would really love to see how do you think it would be for Damian to meet his brothers' partners and actually get along with them.

All his life he's been mostly surrounded by terribly traumatized people who seem to be allergic to express their feelings (most of the times at least), it's always been hard for him to actually be a kid. So I think that maybe meeting a person he can trust, is kind of mentally stable and just fun to talk to would actually allow him to let his guard down a bit. Not saying he would act fully like a child bc you know ✨️trauma✨️ but idk I guess it would be interesting to see him feeling safe and not needing to prove himself or put on the whole "I'm not a kid" act

Anyway, english is not my first language so I do apologize if that paragraph is just a big mess and hopefully you could actually understand my rambling, sorry about that too.

A/N: treating it as a prequel to the aforementioned post here!

w/ Dick:

He heard about you. From Oracle, Steph, Tim, even Jon. Yet despite what they told him, he held no expectations for you. Just with Starfire, he saw you as temporary, a flame soon to be put out like his brother’s other exes. 

And he made sure to let you, meeting you for the first time in the Manor when the two of you coincidentally are left alone to chill in the living room on your day visiting the place. 

“I hope you realize you’re not Richard’s first nor will you be his last.” The teen states. His eyes never leave the page he’s currently on regarding the etiology of cows as he sits on the couch across from you. 

“And?” 

…And? 

He continues to insult you, questioning if you were truly unable to comprehend what he’s trying to get at only to suddenly find himself debating with you about what Batcow’s breed could possibly be. 

“You can’t rule out all dairy cattle when certain breeds are also brought to the slaughter house.” 

“That’s true but considering her size, she would be leaning towards beef cattle. Also there are certain breeds that have the red and white coat like hers.” 

How it happens, he doesn’t know. Especially when his goal was to exert his superiority, doing everything he can to get under your skin to show he’s above you. But you don’t bat an eyelash to anything he says. Rather, you’re wanting to know more about him, responding to him how you would respond to anyone else who is similar age as you. 

And it seems like he isn’t the only one to have realized how quickly he’s gotten comfortable with you once you got dragged out for a “girls talk” by the girls. Whatever that is. 

“I thought you didn’t want to get along?” Dick asks, entering the room and plopping himself right next to the youngest Bat. 

“More like your s/o is either non-human or can manipulate the mind.” Damian scowls and swats at the offending hand that attempts to ruffle his hair. 

But even without the knowing smirk the eldest shoots at him, he knows that isn’t the case. 

So when you promise you’d bake sweets whenever the two of you meet, he takes you up for it. Now he uses it to his advantage to annoy his older sibling whenever he comes over to visit, enjoying how the eldest son of the family miserably sulks for having your attention taken away from him. 

w/ Jason:

It’s either you’re a saint or lacking a brain. That’s what he assumes when the eldest of the family yells to everyone in the Batcave that their second oldest brother, the trouble-maker and black sheep of the family, had finally found himself a significant other.

He most definitely didn’t expect you to be… collected and reserved when he casually breaks into Todd’s unit to demand for assistance (it’s not him needing help), only for his eyes to meet wide and surprise yours. 

“Who are you?”

“Uh, I should be the one to say that to you.  Not the other way around buddy.”

Shots are fired, both sides fully suspicious of each other with him trying to exert dominance while you manage to counter and land hits of your own in the battle of words. And to the bitter end, he will never admit how he’s thrown off guard and has his pride extremely hurt at the very start, your eyes’ glint and your voice vocalizing recognition as whom, what Todd apparently refers to him as, “the pain in the ass” before he was able to realize you’re the s/o Richard had been talking about (the argument he gives later on after gloating to family how he was the first to actually to meet you was how he didn’t think Todd would be dating someone normal considering all his history with others and hook-ups). 

As it should be known when putting two stubborn people in the same room, it’s either go big or go home. That’s why he sits down at the table and drinks the cup of tea you place in front of him. The one that you made in the midst of the verbal argument which “only” you refuse to back down despite there already being a winner. Not because you give him snacks and you’re decent with steeping tea with loose leaf tea. 

The argument shifts to gossiping, and soon, Jason arrives while the two of you spill the tea with each other regarding the latest Batfamily’s love-drama. 

“Oh, you’re back!” 

The way Damian nearly does a double take at the sight of the man genuinely smiling with joy, captivation, and enamor though it only lasts for a second at him noticing who else was sitting at the table with you. He’s glad to say the least he’s able to find someone he could gossip about his family’s dilemma with romance while gleefully able to get at the man for all the times his buttons were pushed. 

w/ Tim:

Trust Drake to keep you hidden for this long, successfully in completely masking your presence from the whole family. He didn’t even know you existed, nonetheless Drake having a significant other in general,  leaving him to quite literally not have an opinion on you. 

The only way he finds out is the person in question kissing who he now knows is you purely by accident where the two of you were in the middle of a date and he was subbing in for patrol. He had the biggest grin when witnessing all this as he realized he just got his hand on his nemesis’ biggest weakness (he does make a face at the public display of affection though). And what better way to cement it by finding out more about you. 

As per tradition, the first thing he does is follow you to where you live. Then proceed to break in and wait for you to come home the following week. 

“You’re Drake’s significant other?” 

“What the fuc-fudge, why is there a kid in my apartment?!” 

He gets fed up and presses harder with the interrogation as you won’t stop calling him kid, kiddo, bud, and worst of all: sport. He’ll give it to you how you don’t easily bend to peer-pressure, keeping the playing field even and leveled where you ask him back questions of your own. But he doesn’t fall for your tactics to sidetrack him when offering refreshments and beverages. 

What’s your relation with Timothy Jackson Drake, how long have you known him, where did you meet him. The strange part is how you answer them truthfully. Sure you keep to the barebones, which he would ask a follow up if he deems as “important” but now he’s questioning Drake’s tastes in people, wondering if the latter is into those without awareness. 

“You do realize you’re giving out information to someone you just met, right?” He crosses his arms, an eyebrow raised. It’s not out of concern for the two of you, he’s merely mocking how weak the relationship seems to be. He tilts his head when you suddenly look sheepish, almost bashful. 

“Well…about that…” 

It’s starting then things don’t go as planned. One, you had already known about him as the “demon spawn” who had taken the position of Robin.  And two, the two of you start bonding over knowing your BF’s most humiliating moments.

It gives Damian the greatest satisfaction to see how his sibling’s facial expression falls into horror as he slams the door open only to see him in the middle of writing notes on the one story of how he attempted to skate through the rain to impress you and fail.

[wileys-russo]

Not sure if you’re taking requests but I’m a sad and anxious American who could use a bit of happiness rn. Thank you in advance but also no worries if this doesn’t spark anything.

Just a little fluffy something with Leah or Alessia at home, “there’s no way these are vegan” after surprising them with homemade brownies

special brownies II l.williamson, a.russo

"less you can't eat brownies, we have a match tomorrow." leah reminded sternly as you carded your fingers through the moody strikers hair, her head resting in your lap as she groaned loudly at your other girlfriends words.

"yeah leah a match i have to play on my period! at least let me eat some sort of warm chocolate if i can't curl into a ball and die." alessia mumbled miserably, rolling over and pushing her face into your hoodie covered stomach.

"don't!" you mouthed at the older girl who scoffed and was clearly ready to say something that absolutely would not help the situation. "i'll make you brownies for after the game tomorrow baby, i promise." you assured alessia, rubbing her back gently as she huffed, clearly not happy but somewhat accepting of the offer.

"with ice cream?" "with ice cream." "that vanilla bean ice cream in the blue container?" "yes lessi, i will make sure to buy that exact ice cream just for you."

"you're going to bake brownies from scratch?" leah snickered, lifting your shared girlfriends legs and settling herself onto the sofa, alessia digging her heels into leahs thigh mumbling about a foot massage, making the defender roll her eyes but oblige none the less.

"yes i am. are you going to try and tell me i can't? little miss 'childrens menu'." you narrowed your eyes skeptically, feeling alessia chuckle lightly before leah squeezed her foot too hard and her head popped up to shoot her a glare.

"well babe i think we all remember the last time you tried to bake. i, at least, can admit that i am not a good cook. which is why i'm dating one and a half of them!" leah grinned, quickly assuring the grumpy striker that she was the one and you were the half.

"half!" you protested, a little pinch to your thigh meaning you resumed scratching alessia's back where you'd paused momentarily, glaring daggers at the other girl a few cushions down.

"you do your best baby, and your best is good. but maybe you could just buy some brownies? that little cafe leah loves does them with the chocolate chips, we can grab a coffee and then heat them up later after the game." alessia mumbled into your chest, patting your thigh in an attempt to show support.

"do you both really think i'm that incapable of making brownies?" you asked in disbelief, the silence in response practically deafening. "wow! well the truth comes out." you scoffed in offense, both blondes heads snapping toward you as you attempted to wiggle out from alessias grip.

"no come on love don't be like that! baking just isn't for everyone. same as football isn't for everyone or maths isn't for everyone, its fine!" alessia held on tightly, tugging you back down and shuffling her body to lay on you more as you crossed your arms.

"everyone has their own special skill set baby girl, yours just doesn't include baking. more like...burning? hey i bet if we were ever stranded on a desert island you'd be able to get a fire going!" leah was clearly trying to be on the same supportive track as your other girlfriend but failing miserably as even alessia cringed at the attempt.

"no baby she didn't mean that don't-" but this time you managed to pull yourself free and roll out from beneath alessia, shooting up to your feet and taking turns glaring at the two blondes still laid up on the sofa.

"tomorrow i will not be coming to your game. i am going to spend the afternoon here baking and you will both come home to the best fucking brownies you've ever tasted-no actually the best vegan brownies you've ever tasted because i am that confident that i can do it. even without dairy!" you announced, stomping off to go sulk by yourself and look up some recipes.

"wait but babe you're still going to get regular ice cream right? not vegan ice cream? right? babe!"

~

you'd been so confident, you really had, which had made the fall from grace and back into reality a difficult one.

the reality that your girlfriends doubts weren't so far fetched and you might not actually be capable of baking, all the more prickly an acceptance to swallow.

which is what had lead to this disgustingly sneaky switch, the evidence of your previous three attempts scattered strategically around the kitchen for your lovers to see, and the evidence of the store bought brownies you'd rushed out to buy instead well hidden at the very bottom of the trash bins.

you'd just taken them out of the microwave to warm them up, very carefully stacking them up on a plate when you heard alessia's car in the driveway, leah playing passenger princess today.

they'd done their best this morning to grovel and sweet talk and try their very hardest to change your mind about coming to the game but you were stubborn by nature and once it was made up there wasn't much to be done to change it.

so they'd trudged off to the match like kicked puppies and you'd spent your afternoon burning chocolate and yelling at the oven trying to shift the blame before inevitably accepting your fate.

however you'd made such a fuss and a point both last night and this morning about your abilities that you may have accepted your fate, but you had no intent on letting your girlfriends do the same, the art of deception hopefully saving you the further embarrassment of eating your words with an audience.

"you did it!" alessias eyes lit up as she entered the kitchen first, hair damp and scraped up into a bun. "congratulations on the hat trick baby." you smiled, pecking her lips a few times before her loving gaze dropped down to the sweet treats on the counter.

"i think she plays better on her period." leah mused as she wandered in, the younger blonde shooting her a dirty look in response as leah kissed her cheek apologetically and wrapped you in a hug.

"you're so much prettier when you don't talk." you teased, squeezing her face in your hand with a wink as leah pulled a face and blew a raspberry on your cheek.

"less!" you laughed, turning around a few seconds later and already finding the striker with a mouthful of brownie, crumbs down the front of her hoodie and a blissed out look on her face.

"what? i was promised these!" she defended still with a mouthful of food making you wince and push her lightly. "yes you were babe and you more than earned them." you chuckled, leah reaching around you to take one for herself.

"babe there's no way these are vegan!" the milton keynes local scoffed after a mere sniff causing your eyes to roll as she took a cautious bite. "are too." you gestured your arms around to the plethora of substitutes piled around the kitchen as leah hummed skeptically.

"just tell her she did a good job, shut up, and stuff your face with chocolate leah." alessia defended, hugging you from behind as you smiled gratefully and kissed her jaw, pushing away from her as she shoved the other half of the baked good into her mouth and sent crumbs showering down on you.

"well i need a quick shower but ice creams in the freezer-" you kissed alessia's cheek since her lips were preoccupied making out with a brownie.

"-whipped creams in the fridge." you pecked leahs lips knowingly. "oi!" the defender grabbed at you as your hand collected with her ass with a wink, escaping to the bathroom for a shower and leaving them to their brownies.

which may have been a mistake.

when you returned it was to a welcomingly quiet living room, both of your blondes laid on the lounge watching a film, which judging by the bored look on leahs face and the concentrated one on alessia's, the film had been the strikers choice.

offering them both a cup of tea which was met with a resoundingly quick yes from each you disapeared to the kitchen, not hearing leah get up to follow you much to alessia's grumpy protests at being left alone.

"you know babe i noticed something very interesting about your brownies." leah hummed causing you to jump a little not having thought anyone was with you, flicking the kettle on to boil and raising an eyebrow at her questioningly.

"well you know i love a good jigsaw, yeah?" leah questioned, grabbing the plate of brownies which was remarkably untouched given alessia's desire to inhale the lot of them just moments before you ducked off for a shower.

"but with a jigsaw, all the pieces...have to match up." leah nodded down as your eyes dropped, leah having lined up the brownies which sure enough weren't even close to matching up together the way they would if you'd baked them in the tray you'd claimed to.

"well thats because-" "oh no no my girl, i wasn't asking." leah interrupted with a shake of her head and a finger pressed to your lips. "i know you didn't bake those, and they sure as shit aren't vegan." leah smirked knowingly, pulling your body closer into hers as she leaned down, lips ghosting your own as right as you tried to kiss her she pulled away, smirk growing wider as her hands slipped up your hoodie.

"the only question i want the answer to is, how are you going to make it up to us for lying baby?"

[goldie90]

And to add some more options:

And there's of course much more.🙂

[inkdrinkerworld]

Inn Love

cw: friends to lovers, cowboy!james, innkeeper!reader, pet names, fluff, scene setting really

wc: 2.6k

“Please Jamie? I just need a couple pounds of butter.” You bat your eyes at him, all sweet and innocent but James knows you.

“If I give you what I have left I won’t have any to sell in the market this weekend.” He’s trying to stand firm. He really really is.

For all your sweetness and innocence, you’re like a viper to James’ strength of will.

“I’ll pay you more than the market.” You’ll definitely try, but James can never charge you full price.

“I’m sorry, darling. Go to Malloy, he sells butter too.”

You wrinkle your nose. “No one sells butter that’s as good as yours, Jamie.” You’re trying as hard as you can, James seems unmoved. So you up the ante. “I’ll bring you one of the pound cakes on top of payment.”

James falters a bit then. You bake the best in the entire town. At your inn, The Secret Garden, that’s one of the best reviews after the impeccable mattresses. You also know James has the softest, sweetest spot for pound cake- especially the blood orange pound cake you make.

He groans and you squeal, your boots clicking on the cobble. James gestures for you to come into his house.

“You’re so fucking evil.” he mumbles, reaching into his second fridge and handing you three pounds of butter. You take a quick peek and find his fridge stocked with pre packaged butter wrapped pretty in parchment, cheese in there too. There’s even milk. James is the best damn dairy farmer this town has ever seen and it’s a wonder how he ever has enough butter.

“You are an angel, James Potter.” you wrap your arms around his neck, and James’ hands automatically wrap around your back.

He’s big and warm, smells like leather and blood oranges and for all his muscles James is surprisingly soft.

James can’t fight the smile on his lips when you let go of him. You really are sweet. “You’re lucky I made more butter today.”

You gasp, not at all surprised. “You playing hard ball with me, Jamie?”

He nods, setting his hat on the counter. “Maybe I wanted a pound cake for free.” he teases but James would never take anything from you without paying you no matter how much you try to get him to. He doesn’t really care that you’re friends, he’s paying you for everything.

“You’re losing angel status, Potter. I gotta go, gotta bake for breakfast tomorrow and for the market this weekend.”

“See ya’, darling.”

James spots you while you’re closing up your booth at the market and hands off the empty crates he was hauling to his friends, Sirius and Remus.

He jogs over to you, and places his hands on your shoulders. You startle and almost swing a punch at him but he catches your fist.

“Okay Rocky,” he chuckles when you put your hand to your chest, breathing heavily like you’d just run a mile.

“You scared me, James! How don’t you make noise when you walk?”

James rolls his eyes, taking your crates from you. You move to packing bags.

“I make lots of noise, you’re just in your head.” He says, you shrug with a smile.

“Did they buy all of your butter?” you ask as you start walking towards your truck, James close behind.

“And the milk and the cheese.” You roll your eyes at his cocky tone.

You know James better than most here. You went to school together, you used to ranch with him when you were younger and when his mom and dad still owned the ranch.

Then you’d both had to grow up, you going to business school and James having to take over the ranch after his mom and dad had gotten sick.

You’d come back for the funeral and been there when James couldn’t get out of bed to deal with the ranch and all the shit that came with that and stayed till he got better and could do it himself.

Then James helped you with the construction of The Secret Garden, your inn that became your baby.

All this to say is, you know James Potter and he’s not as cocky as he pretends to be.

Sure he’s any woman’s dream. With his inky curls always peeking out under his hat, his muscle tees that show off tan, muscled arms, his pretty brown eyes that remind you so much of browned butter and his fucking dimples.

But James is a sweetheart.

“I told you about that tone, Jamie. Makes you sound too sure of yourself.”

James only chuckles, placing the crates in your tray and the rest of your stuff.

“I’m sorry weren’t you telling me the other day that my butter’s the best?”

You wave him off, laughing as you open the back door.

“Do I give you your loaf now or at family dinner tonight?”

James smiles, this is the one routine you and James still have from when you were kids. You go over on Sunday night for family dinner and then you go to the inn and try to get to sleep before your three am alarm.

“I just spent all day in the hot sun and you’re gonna deprive me? You’re cruel, darling.”

You laugh, handing him the loaf and then reaching in your cooler for a bottle of water. “Here Jamie.”

James’ mouth is already stained pink with the icing from your cake. Crumbs clinging to his shirt and chin.

“James! Have some dignity.” your words are broken up with your laugh, James smiles when you hand him the open water bottle.

“Thanks, darling.” Half the loaf cake is gone, and James guzzles the water like he’s been dying of thirst the whole day.

You watch James drink, aware that you’ve been staring a little longer than necessary and James knows it too because he winks at you.

“What are we having for dinner, James?”

James smiles, “Beef, you wanted that last time when we had chicken.”

You smile, giddy as ever. If it’s one thing James can do is roast beef; it’s always tender and perfect.

“Do you need me to come over early and do the potatoes? With the rosemary and thyme?” James nods, breaking off another little bite of the cake.

“Meet me there in an hour? I know you gotta do dinner at the inn.”

You shake your head, “I got Mary doing dinner tonight, and I wanna check on Snowglobe.”

James’ hand falls over his heart, a look of mock offense on his face. “Do you not believe me when I tell you he’s okay?”

You roll your eyes, “Can’t I want to take my best boy for a little leg stretch?”

James grumbles, “Best boy? Snowglobe took two years to train when we were kids.”

You smile as you remember all the days you’d sleep in James’ room complaining about how Snowglobe hated you and would never warm up to you.

“And now he’s the best horse a girl could have.You’re just jealous Jamie.”

He says nothing, just takes his loaf cake and presses a kiss to your forehead.

“I’ll follow behind you. Try not to drive like you’re on a race track, yeah?” You nod, getting into your truck and letting James close the door for you.

You don’t listen to James’ words and speed towards his ranch, foot to the pedal even as you swing into the grocery for chocolate for dessert- lest you and James pass away without a sweet treat after dinner.

At his place, in the Big House, you and James work side by side prepping dinner. He seasons the beef, you season the potatoes and put them to roast and then start on a chocolate cake.

It’s not a fancy one, but it’s occasion enough for a chocolate cake.

“How long till everything is finished?” Sirius asks, hat on his chest as he walks in holding a six pack.

“About an hour.” You and James say at the same time. Remus rolls his eyes as he steps in behind his boyfriend.

“I got your fruit, you didn’t stop by.” He holds out three bowls of cut fruit and you smile.

“Thanks Rem, I swear everyone came for bread today! I sold out of it so fast I really contemplated going back to the inn and baking more.”

The boys hum, smiling when James opens a beer and slides it to you. You take it with a nod and a smile. Quickly, you uncover the bowl of watermelon, taking a few pieces and smiling at the sweetness.

“It’s cos it’s fucking amazing bread. Lasts the whole fucking week too.” A compliment from Sirius is always genuine- as long as you’d known him, about two years, you can count on one hand how many sweet words the man says.

Conversation lulls, James talks about his plans for the week, Sirius talks about how there’s too many people trying to build big condos in your town- he’s in real estate and Remus talks of how much simpler life had gotten since he’d started raising chickens again.

You shoot out of your seat, James watches you curiously. You pull the cake from the oven and turn to all three of them stern as can be, “Those potatoes have ten minutes. I’m going to see my horse, do not let them burn.”

You rush out of the Big House without another word, boots clicking against the wooden floors and then crunching on the gravel path as you make your way to the stables.

“Snowglobe, baby.” You call, passing each stall till you find your baby’s.

Snowglobe is an old boy, almost twenty four, but he’s always been perfect. He’s all white, a pretty shiny sort of white on his coat that makes him look like fresh fallen snow. Hence his name.

He raises his head as he sees you, tail flicking as you reach a hand into his stall.

“I missed you, old boy.” You kiss his nose, stepping into the stall and getting a brush. You’re sure the farm hands James hired keep him well groomed, but he likes a bit of pampering and he deserves it too.

You brush through his mane, talking to him and sneaking a couple apples to him.

There’s a knock on the stable doors and you startle, you hear James’ deep chuckle before you see him. “Dinner’s ready,”

You kiss Snowglobe on his nose again. “I’ll come by tomorrow and we’ll go riding, baby.”

James rolls his eyes when Snowglobe puts his face on your shoulder, stopping you from moving.

You grin wide, “I promise, old boy. We’ll go riding all evening.”

Snowglobe seems pleased because he lifts his head and lets you go.

“He’s as clingy as you are,” James says as you walk out beside him.

“He’s not clingy! He’s the best and I don’t come see him nearly enough.”

James scoffs, “The four times a week you ride him up and down the ranch isn’t enough?” He bumps your hips with his.

You shrug your shoulders with a smile, “He likes the exercise and your boys still saddle him. He doesn’t like it.”

James is well aware, Snowglobe tosses saddles off him if he’s feeling particularly annoyed with the weight of them some days.

James pushes open the door to the Big House. You walk past him, taking your seat on the table and groaning.

“This is gonna be fucking great.” Sirius laughs at your swear, and loads up your plate- roast potatoes, roast beef and salad.

By the time you’re all finished dinner, you and James have had two slices of cake each and you’re both sprawled on his sofa.

Remus is laying on Sirius with his hat on his stomach and Sirius’ is pulled low on his face.

“I gotta get going,” you say, breaking the silence. Your words are groggy, sleep close in your reaches the longer you lay beside James.

James sits up, “What time is your alarm?”

“Three thirty.”

James tries pulling you down beside him, but you don’t budge. “I’ll drop you back in the morning.”

You huff, a little amused. “What time do you usually wake up, James?”

“Four. I gotta check the fences though, so three thirty ain’t bad.”

There’s no use arguing with him, and you don’t really want to. He stretches out on the sofa,

Sirius and Remus are out cold, James doesn’t even move them. He just throws a blanket over them.

“C’mon, the guest room is always ready for you.” James sounds just as tired as you feel, his eyes look a little glassy too.

“Thanks Jamie,” you push open the door and smell the lavender spray you use at night strong as if you’d just sprayed it.

“Course darling, your blanket’s there too. Come get me when your alarm goes off, yeah?” James kisses your forehead, you smile.

“Yeah Jamie. Go get some sleep.”

You climb under your blankets, grinning when you smell the linen detergent James uses. Sleep comes quick, your eyes heavier than they’ve been all day now that you’re laying down.

-

Someone is shaking your shoulder and you don’t like it.

“Stop,” you groan, pushing the hand off you and pulling your blanket over your head.

“Darling it’s nearly three thirty. Come get some coffee.”

You groan, twisting in protest under the covers. “No. I’ll be down at three thirty.”

James rolls his eyes. “Don’t make me use advanced waking up tactics.”

Your head pops out of the covers, hair a little messed up. “You are not tugging this cover off me James. I swear to god.”

James smiles, “You’re so pleasant in the morning. C’mon, we’ll have coffee and one of those breakfast sandwiches and I’ll drop you off.”

The grumble you let out makes James laugh some more.

“Give me five minutes.” James nods, leaving the room and letting you go about your morning routine.

You find James pulling two sandwiches from his oven, setting yours on a plate and biting into his immediately.

“Thanks Jamie, where’s my coffee?”

James tilts his head to the pot, your favourite cup sitting right beside it.

“Your creamer’s in the fridge.”

You frown, “Where did you get sugar free creme brûlée creamer in the middle of summer?”

James shrugs, “Not telling. But it’s there.” James takes a sip of his own coffee, black with just a touch of sugar. “It’s turkey in the sandwich too.”

You smile, fixing your cup and then shuffling towards James to kiss his cheek.

“You’re cute, thank you Jamie.”

His cheeks redden without meaning too. “Eat so we can go darling. You got scones to bake and what is it today? Eggs and bacon with toasted sourdough?”

You nod, biting into your sandwich. “Yeah and I gotta do cookies today, want me to bring any over?”

James frowns, “Today?” You nod, taking the last bite of your sandwich and finishing off your coffee.

“Taking Snowglobe out after I finish up dinner at the inn.”

James rolls his eyes playfully. Since the moment Snowglobe stopped fighting you, the pair of you had been inseparable. “Yeah, you can bring a couple. Make sure and eat lunch.”

“Left overs?” Your eyes are wide and hopeful as you look at James. He feels his chest constrict a little.

He opens the fridge and pulls out a bowl, “Got everything here for you.”

“Angel status has been restored Jamie,” James grins, dimples poking out. Truly, he’d never been worried, you’re never actually upset with him ever. Angel status is always applied, but he can’t deny the way it makes him feel when you tell him that it is.

“You’re so gracious!” James bows, making you giggle and slap his shoulder. “Ready?” He asks as he rights himself. James opens the fridge again, pulling out the bowls of fruit Remus had brought over and setting them on your lunch.

“Ready, Jamie.”

[foldingfittedsheets]

My chronic illnesses took five different doctors to diagnose. I was fainting and exhausted to the point I couldn’t get off the couch, but my blood work all looked normal so I kept being told I was fine.

One doctor slapped me with a full elimination diet trying to fix me. Eggs, dairy, gluten, and sesame all had to be cut for three months. There was no support or menu suggestions, just ordered to drop all of them cold turkey. I sobbed in the car afterward because I didn’t know how I could even survive that. I have so many food hang ups it was like having to climb a mountain.

My beloved was a champion about it and I couldn’t have survived it without them. We struggled together through three months of creative menus and privation. At the end of it I was still sick.

Now three years later I’ve worked through the chronic EBV, my thyroid hormones are in check, I’m so much better than I could have imagined when I was so fatigued I was forced into a wheelchair. But my current doctor who I love asked if I could survive a month without gluten again.

Gluten causes irritation and could be contributing to my thyroids unhappiness. I asked her about making all our bread products at home- US wheat is all sprayed with pesticides directly before harvest and the US has the highest rate of issues with gluten sensitivities. Many people speculate it’s because of the pesticides. There’s places you can buy French flour in bulk and French flour is significantly cleaner but also uses a different strain of wheat for their flour that is less inflammatory.

My doctors request not an order was if I could cut gluten for a month and see how I feel, then the month after reintroduce baked goods with the French flour and see how that goes.

My beloved is reluctantly on board, they’ve struggled with gluten sensitivity in the past. Neither of us is looking forward to it and there’s bread products we need to get through until we can fully cut it but I guess it’s Gluten Free Round Two.

[bbystark]

toxic!ghost x soft!reader

summary: ghost meets a soft little thing and quickly makes her his and his alone. (based on a request from @catoncrack59!)

a/n: tysm for the request, i'm sorry if it's not exactly what you wanted i did get carried away haha. enjoy!!

mdni mature themes

first sees you when he's freshly home from deployment, stalking the aisles of his local grocery store to fill his empty fridge.

there you are, politely tapping the shoulder of an elderly clerk and asking him where something is. you're in the cutest little sundress, eyes big as you point to an item on your list to show the employee.

he finds himself immediately enthralled. you laugh he gets a glint of your pearly teeth, your canine glinting in the florescent lights, and he's completely done for.

he forgets his quest for frozen tv dinners and finds himself trailing you throughout the grocery store, at one point pretending to be interested in tortilla chips when you glance his way.

you finally stop in the dairy section, quietly browsing the options while you chew on your lip. he briefly wonders what your lips feel like- soft no doubt- and why you needed help finding something so simple.

his question is answered when he's in line at checkout, one person behind you. you make small talk with the cashier, and he learns you just moved here for work, managing a new woman's shelter downtown. what a sweet thing, he thinks, so selfless.

it continues like that for weeks, simon tailing you all around town just to get a glimpse of your sweet smile and calming demeanor. he doesn't know what it is about you, maybe it's how polar opposite the two of you are.

simon thinks you would never be with someone so opposing of what your entire life radiated, but it only fuels the fire he has to claim you.

then he gets deployed. almost goes insane, can't stop thinking about your curves and sickly soft features.

more than once angrily fists his cock in the showers thinking of you beneath him, innocent eyes beckoning him closer.

he almost never feels satisfied after, watching his spend circle the drain feeling mildly disgusted with himself and the fact that you literally weren't even aware of his existence.

finally gets back after months and once again sees you at the grocery store and simply decides that life is too short and you're going to be his one way or the other

decides to grow a pair and ask you where something is, and oh! look at that, sweet little you even guides him to the exact aisle and shelf it's on. he makes up some bullshit about trying to bake and not knowing where to begin, knowing you'll eat the lie up.

ends up getting your number for, you know, baking advice and soon thereafter he's in your little house baking cookies with you

you fall for him almost immediately, big soft man who bakes. simon barely tells you anything about himself, omitting details and changing subjects whenever anything personal comes up. but you don't even notice, too dumb and in the middle of falling in love

simon begins to subtly change after the first two dates

he's already obsessed, and the man hasn't even gotten a kiss on the cheek. but your obvious budding adoration for him just isn't cutting it. no, he wants you to himself.

it's the least he deserves right? a soft, kind, sweet little thing just for fucked up, damaged him. his own personal angel.

He starts with subtle manipulation, getting into your head when you have small tiffs with family and friends and saying they aren't good for you. "you're better off without 'em luv. forget it and come gimmie a hug."

then he's purposefully sabotaging your work, deleting important files and changing things in your calendar so you'll be late or miss things completely. it sends you in a tailspin, and soon you start messing up on your own, completely overwhelmed.

he's always there though, wiping tears off your cheek with calloused thumbs and comforting words.

asks you to move in with him before he even asks you to be his girlfriend, but obviously in this economy you say yes

living in domestic bliss, ignorant bliss, in your case, but bliss nonetheless

then he pushes it a little too far and says he doesn't want you to go to a family dinner back in your home city

you snap at him for the first time ever, and simon would never admit that he chubbed up a little at the sight of your irritated and upset face- it was a sight really, his little princess throwing a tantrum

you tell him that he's being ridiculous, that it's holiday season and you haven't seen your family in forever. simon throws it back in your face with a "aren't I your family luv? gonna leave me all alone here?" and a carefully timed voice crack.

you concur and cancel your flights, and simon apologizes by fucking you so raw you honestly forget what had you so upset when you wake up the next morning.

continues to slowly cut off contact with the outside world. your phone breaks and he replace it with a flip phone like his, saying social media was rotting your brain and this would be good for you. you listen to him, of course.

nearly goes insane when he gets the call that he has to ship out soon. thinks about locking you in the apartment, hiring one of his old buddies to drop groceries off every once in a while.

while tempting, he knows he has to tread lightly with you. he needed to take his time, so he settles with getting you a pretty necklace with a gps tracker in it and wiring his apartment and your car with cameras. crazy? no! he just wants to make sure you're safe and also not interacting with anyone but him and him alone

besides, with his great manipulation guidance, you had basically cut off all your friends and family. the ones who stuck around eventually left (simon threatened them)

so he wasn't worried. however, he does grow worried when he's lonely one night on deployment and pulls up the footage of his apartment, and watches as you find one camera by accident, and go on a rampage throughout his apartment and find the rest. oops, simon really shouldn't have rushed putting those things up.

doesn't really stress, knows he'll just have to wait and go find you again. at least now he won't have to hide just how much he loves you.

enjoy your freedom now and good luck when that man finds you

request more

[mariacallous]

These bourekas are a mix of New York Jewish and Middle Eastern Israeli food cultures. It sounds a little crazy, but it’s incredibly good: the flavorful seasoning blend, slightly sweet from the dried onion and garlic, balances out the salty, briny feta interior, and the cream and cottage cheese in the filling. A little bit of spinach (a personal must for me in cheese bourekas) adds color and flavor. Best part? These bourekas, made with store-bought puff pastry, are relatively quick to throw together.

I plan on serving these for the holiday of Shavuot when it’s common to eat dairy foods, but they are really perfect for anytime: a Middle Eastern brunch spread with shakshuka and dips, or served at a cocktail party or as an appetizer for a dinner party. No matter when you choose to serve them, I know you’ll have people clamoring for seconds and thirds, as well as the recipe, so be prepared to make lots and keep this recipe on hand.

Note: These bourekas freeze beautifully unbaked. Simply freeze them filled and shaped but without the egg wash and bagel spice topping, and apply the egg wash and spice when you’re ready to bake them, adding 5-10 minutes to the baking time.

[chocodile]

Thought it would be fun to illustrate some Amaranthine cuisine from various regions (and time periods). Long writeups under the cut!

Western Kingdom Cuisine: Northern Upper Class

The cultural cuisine of the northern part of the Western Kingdom is shaped by the region's harsh, snowy climate. The cold meant that it was easier to keep food from spoiling, but hard to find it in the first place. During the warmer spring and summer months, food would be collected and then salted, dried, pickled, or otherwise preserved in order to last through the winter. Red meat is their primary dietary staple, and is served in a wide variety of ways, including raw and engastrated. Dairy is also common in all forms -- cheese, butter, milk, and as a component of common sauces and chowders (another cultural favorite, and great way to use up leftovers). Alcohol is also common, with a favorite cultural drink being a spiced, warmed fermented milk with a flavor similar to eggnog.

Northern dishes prioritize making use of all parts of the animal, especially nutrient-rich organ meats and fat. As a landlocked region with few rivers, fish is somewhat uncommon, but not unheard of, especially salted or pickled fish shipped in from the south. Also, as mentioned before, eating animals, including "one's own kind", is not taboo at all in this region. In such harsh climates, turning one's nose up at a filling meal is seen as ridiculous.

When good meat is available, though, presentation can get a little… creative. Or, as some might describe it, obscene. Feasts for nobles often involve whole roast hogs stuffed with turkeys stuffed with game birds stuffed with exotic, imported pickled fish, ground meat sculpted into strange and creative shapes, and other ostentatious displays. If a nobleman's chefs can do something artistic with the meat that his guests have never seen before, it's considered very impressive. Of course, to foreigners, a western kingdom noble's banquet can look rather nightmarish and grotesque. Such displays of excess are generally the realm of the wealthy, but most families will still celebrate with a "turducken" or similar engastrated roast once a year during winter feast.

Fresh fruits and vegetables make up only a small component of northern dishes. Berry preserves and pickled vegetables are prepared during the summer months, but the only "fresh" vegetables accessible during colder months are hardy root vegetables and tubers harvested from geothermal caves. Mushrooms, also harvested from the caves, are eaten in many forms.

Bread made in this region is typically very hard and dense. This "thickbread" is intended to be soaked in gravy, milk, or soup to soften it and make it more palatable. Attempting to eat the bread without softening it is a clear indicator that someone is a foreigner, or perhaps so poor that they can't afford a proper meal. Some "thinbread" is baked slightly softer and intended to be eaten in slices, but culturally, it's still expected that you put some sort of gravy or spread on it so that you don't look like a confused foreigner or destitute peasant.

For dessert, northerners often eat dessert breads soaked in sweetened, spiced cream and topped with berry preserves and candied mushrooms. Berry tarts are also made with preserves during colder months and fresh fruit during summer months, and are associated with spring, celebration, and hardship ending. These berry tarts are often eaten at celebratory dinners at the end of winter and given to students after finishing exams.

Many residents of other territories find traditional northerner food a little overwhelming due to how rich and dense it is. It can certainly take some getting used to. Eastern Kingdom residents tend to find northern cuisine especially nightmarishly grotesque and barbaric due to their cultural views around meat. However, with increased trade and travel over the last few decades, northerner food is beginning to look more like the food from the rest of the Western Kingdom, and some of the more offputting cultural practices like the ostentatious engastrated meatcraft and inedible-unless-softened bread are becoming somewhat less popular.

Eastern Kingdom Cuisine: Coastal Citydweller

The Eastern Kingdom's cuisine is similarly influenced by their climate. The desert that spans much of the region meant that, aside from its sparkling oasis cities and rim of fishing towns along the coast and major river, many residents traditionally lived a nomadic lifestyle. Additionally, unlike the Western Kingdom, they absolutely do view "eating your own kind" as tantamount to cannibalism, which meant that most red meat was only consumed during times of desperation or occasionally during holidays/rituals, though the latter is mostly seen as a weird unsavory rural thing.

The Eastern Kingdom's meat taboo generally does not extend to fish, shellfish, and insects. Fresh fish and shellfish are routinely consumed near the coast, often seared in olive oil and spices and served over a couscous-like grain base, and a salty paste made of fermented fish is smeared on bread in interior regions. Beetles coated in chopped nuts and chili powder and dried, and honeyed crickets are also popular snacks.

Eastern Kingdom cuisine also involves a lot of nuts, beans, and seeds as major dietary staples. These foods are long-lasting, spoilage-resistant, nutrient-rich, and grew easily along the banks of the kingdom's major waterway and oases even before cities settled there. These three food groups are found in nearly all of their cooking. Nuts and seeds are baked into bread and desserts but also mixed into stir fry-type dishes to add protein. A common dessert and trail snack consists of dried dates mixed with walnuts. Dates and figs are also made into jams and eaten spread over bread or as a component in sauces.

Vegetables and fruits, as well as olives, were grown in grand, sprawling, aqueduct-fed gardens in oasis cities and on riverbanks. Cacti, once cultivated extensively by ancient nomads, are served chopped and glazed with honey, another dietary staple.

Dairy, derived from pack animals used by nomads, is also somewhat common, though difficult to transport without spoilage. It is paradoxically seen as a practical, basic food by nomads and farmers, who can milk it directly from its source, something of a luxury by city-dwellers.

Additionally, the Eastern Kingdom's sprawling coastlines mean an extensive seafaring presence. As a result, they have brought back many novel plants from far afield to be cultivated in the Eastern Sultan's personal palace garden. Among these: cocoa beans, which are refined into a spicy energizing herbal drink similar to coffee. "Chocolate houses" serving this drink can be found throughout larger cites, sometimes mixing the cocoa drink with more familiar sweetened cactus juice to stretch the expensive cocoa powder further.

Post-Fall Cuisine: Ironfrost Middle Class

The society that eventually emerged after the fall of the Old Kingdoms was quite different from what came before. Though discovery of ironworking led to the rise of industrialization--processed food and automated canning, among other innovations-- the harsh, permanent winter that eventually consumed most of the continent meant that cuisine never reached the levels of decadence it had in the Old Kingdoms. This is especially true of the working class in Ironfrost, whose rather dreary cuisine is shown here.

Limited accessibility of fresh fruits and vegetables--grown in engineered greenhouses or shipped in from the far south over increasingly long distances as the cold spread southward--meant that nearly all vegetables are eaten canned. Many, especially those in rural northern towns that lacked greenhouses, may have never even seen a fresh tomato or head of lettuce before. (The City of the Sun produces fresh fruit and vegetables for the far north--including exotic apples in nigh-extinct Old Kingdom varieties--but cutting a trade deal with the reclusive city-state can be difficult due to the whims of its elusive cultish leader.)

The one exception? Mushrooms. Like the Western Kingdom northerners that lived there before them, Post-Fall societies came to rely heavily on harvesting edible mushrooms from the geothermal caves below the tundra. Mushrooms are a crucial dietary staple and can be roasted, pickled, fried, pureed, or even candied. Many of the more specialized cooking styles such as candying were passed down by survivors of the fallen Western Kingdom, thought the passage of time and changing availability of spices and other ingredients have rendered many recipes quite different from their ancestors.

Fresh meat is easier to access and easier to preserve with minimal loss of taste or texture thanks to the frigid weather providing easy "refrigeration" by way of outdoor iceboxes. However, a whole, freshly-cooked roast is still considered a rare treat for most, especially for the mine and factory workers living within the dense industrial labyrinths of Ironfrost. Canned and dried meats are popular due to being less sensitive to spoilage when kept indoors or transported across different climates.

Overall, the heavy reliance on dried and canned food means that most available ingredients are ugly, mushy, and lacking in natural taste due to the extensive preservation process. As a result, stews, loafs, and casseroles are common, as well as jellied aspic dishes. Any manner of preparation that can hide the appearance of limp, shriveled vegetables or disguise the taste of eating the same salted meat every day is useful. Creative meat presentation, such as sculpting ground meat into fun shapes, decorated meatloaf, and ornate aspic molds is another cultural holdover passed on by Western Kingdom survivors, though in the current day it's associated more with the middle or lower middle class rather than nobility. It is now more of a way to make the most out of poor circumstances than to impress fellow nobles at parties.

(Side note, not pictured: Modern day Ironfrost elite tend to favor very plain dishes made out of fresh food, garnished with sliced fruit--the mere fact that they can access such exotic fare makes their wealth self-evident! An aspiring elite with limited funds can choose to rent a bowl of Sun City apples or even an elusive pineapple to impress party guests instead.)

One of the few pieces of Eastern Kingdom food culture that survived to the present day is chocolate, though like Western Kingdom dishes, it is now quite different from its original form. These days, cocoa is blended with fat and sugar and eaten as a dessert: chocolate. This has caused its popularity to explode. Chocolate bars are incredibly popular for their delicious taste and portability, and cakes and cookies made with chocolate are coveted by the poor and wealthy alike. Of course, the cold climate means that cocoa beans can only be grown in specialized greenhouses, and the owners of these greenhouses are keen to charge a premium for access. Ironfrost and The City of the Sun are the two major cocoa producers and it's not unheard of for Ironfrost soldiers to bully smaller cocoa growers out of business to maintain their near-monopoly. Still, hidden cocoa grows scattered around the tundra ensure that a large supply of "bootleg" chocolate remains on the menu--just don't get caught with it in Ironfrost territory.

[nathandrakeisabottom]

⋆ Nathan Drake: Domestic Headcanons ⋆

The long-awaited, completely unasked for companion piece to @durrtydawg's Sam domestic headcanons piece. Revel in my self-indulgent, self-absorbed, and grotesquely specific fantasies of getting to call Nathan Drake my house husband. A house husband who jumps off speeding trains with a handgun on the occasional Thursday.

Not only does our pretty boy Nathan Morgan need someone who grounds him— (though that can mean many things; Nate is anything but a one type man)

But for someone who he genuinely believes won’t judge him for who he is

With them, every morning is peaceful and slow 

Will come up from behind before breakfast with a slow grasp at their waist, a delicate kiss he doesn’t break for a good few seconds against his partner's cheek or neck (will literally sigh into it)

And he fucking loves if they do the same for him

Everything is slow and silence and sighs

(He’s rarely so fucking quiet, and he appreciates someone who he feels comfortable finally letting everything go for. His voice gets hoarse with how much he’s always screaming and snarking)

Will shudder more from morning intimacy than straight up sex; if he’s surprised by kisses up his back as he makes some (admittedly, pretty runny) eggs, he'll accidentally drop and shatter dishes like nobody’s business

Speaking of which, only ever gets the cheapest plates/cups because he’s always fucking breaking them (thrift store, preferably)

James Taylor, Norah Jones, Michael Buble, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and (oddly enough) Barbra Streisand for relaxing morning music 

And will white man boogie with a comically bit lip if they quietly, affectionately look at him for long enough 

Speaking of: despite his best efforts, as he starts to wake up, he’ll grow increasingly jokey and self-aware (but soft lil’ earnest boy always comes back eventually)

Will take all the trash and recycling out in one clean go, tucking shit between his bent elbows and under his chin; He’s not afraid of a challenge yes he can fucking do it by himself NO SHUT UP HE’S GOT IT

His partner hears the clang of soda cans falling on the pavement twelve seconds later

A Trader Joe’s BITCH

As much as he loves some sensory overload and a bajillion snack options, big supermarkets kinda overwhelm him

Also they’re always more expensive and this boy is a complainer (and if he can make his partner laugh while he’s dramatically whining, even better)

Literally the man who ACTIVELY LAUGHS at the names of products 

“A Blueberry WALKS Into A Bar? Do you get that? BAR? Oh, that’s goddamn hilarious.”

And then will laugh for a good minute in the aisle; fuck the old people side-eyeing him from the dairy section 

Overbuys groceries rather than underbuys; there’s a lot of food he doesn’t realize has gone bad until it’s actively going into his mouth

Expect to be investing in a good broom, because he constantly needs one

Will open a bag of frozen peas from the wrong side and all of a sudden he’s spilling the entire thing onto the hardwood floor

He just hangs his head with a long, forlorn sigh

God fucking dammit

And huffs before power-walking to the closet

But at least he’s used to it; he’s got a broom in every place he can hide one now 

LOVES to cook, but that doesn’t mean he’s good at it

Probably just likes the theatrics: catch him in double oven mitts and a dozen hand towels at the ready and a novelty apron that says “spooned with love”, “rubs his own meat”, “mister good-lookin’ is cookin’”, or “license to grill”

King of wearing an apron and nothing else without telling; loves surprises and loves giving them almost as much; and will absolutely play coy about it (“I’m just baking out here!! What are you screaming about?”) 

Relatedly, loves stealing his partner’s shirts without telling, especially if they’re too small

“Baby tees are for big, strong babies like me.” “But you’re gonna stretch mine out!” “Heh-heh. Nice.”

Is a fucking sucker for any sort of gender role switch, but also can’t help the flutter in his heart when he sees his partner doing his laundry 

It’s the intimacy of another person touching his clothes and wanting them to be soft for him; loves if they have to reach kinda high to hang them up in his closet, too

Fucking loves to make love to his partner— and yes he loves the phrase “make love”, leave him alone— or hell, do anything to them while the washer is going on heavy duty wash cycle 

Somehow related, but is a hippie at the best of times. Women got off using washing machines before there was anything else and it’s a part of history and now they are too and isn’t it beautiful we’re not all so different isn’t life and history beautiful

Loves smoking weed once there’s a lengthy enough break with his partner, coughs and needs water every time (“nah, I don’t need it” — starts hacking to fucking death)

Loves a local mall trip: J Crew, Abercrombie & Fitch, and REI are his go-tos; he always needs an excuse to go out

“Jeez, is this what the kids are wearing these days?” in any store that isn’t those three

Every time there’s a big ad of a hot guy in a canoe or a girl smiling so hard it looks like her teeth are gonna pop out, he loves to outlandishly mimic their expression to make his partner laugh

Touchy, clingy, whiney 🥺; uses a body pillow and weighted blankets when he has to spend the night by himself

Needs to be the small spoon (at minimum) once a week, otherwise he gets sad and grumpy but isn't quite sure why

“Let’s get some new furniture.” “What? We have Ikea right next door! I can just make it!”

Drills a hole too big or loses the most important screw and has to go buy new furniture anyway 

Adores above all else impromptu massages: whether it’s on the couch or in the bedroom when he’s on his belly watching TV; moans more shamelessly during those than he even does during sex

Those massages often turn into him begging his partner to ride him… or he just fucking falls asleep

By the way, will fall asleep in any position or location you could possibly think of; a habit from his childhood when he didn't have a bed to sleep in

Snores and drools, but not loud or wet enough to be too annoying

2 in 1 shampoo. One bar of soap.

Unless of course he’s all out or… curious about what delicious-smelling shit his partner has; maybe it’s like the reverse of when a dog pees on something to claim it. Something like that.  

Get. him. flowers. His favorites are daffodils.

Really into helping out in his community: soup kitchen, pet shelters, planting trees or veggie seeds for community gardens— and then will abruptly stop because he’s tired and doesn’t feel like doing it anymore 

Until the next summer when he sporadically goes — “You know what we should do?!”

King of late-night karaoke bars (especially if he gets wasted and busts into a weepy song that totally kills the mood)

On the same note, a big musical theatre lover. Wine and dine him!

Loves a dog, wants a dog, needs a dog

Never fucking trains or reprimands the dog but whatcha gonna do

Gets both super shy and vulnerable and horny when he's actively referred to as a “husband” ; loves a good big business partner/house husband roleplay (whether horny or just a joke)

Please, oh god please, do shortform improv with him every time he starts doing a bit

Living with Nathan isn’t always easy, or frankly cheap, but is so fucking gentle and so fucking happy, that you can no longer imagine a world where your life was anything but 🌼💙🗺️

If you hurt him, OP (and Sully) are out for BLOOD.

[velourfrog]

BIRTHDAY CAKE ICE CREAM PIE

(Or gainer shake and a cookie.)

1 roll (16.5 oz) refrigerated Sugar Cookie Dough (easy cheat! Grocery stores have this in the dairy isle.)

1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon multicolored candy sprinkles

2 1/4 cups heavy whipping cream

1/4 cup evaporated milk (from 5-oz can)

1/8 teaspoon salt

1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated)

2 teaspoons vanilla

1 tablespoon powdered sugar

INSTRUCTIONS

Step 1

Heat oven to 350°F. Spray 9-inch glass pie plate with cooking spray; lightly flour.

Step 2

In medium bowl, break up cookie dough. Stir in 1/4 cup of the candy sprinkles. Press dough evenly in bottom and up side of pie plate.

Step 3

Bake 15 to 19 minutes or until golden brown. Place pie plate on cooling rack. Using flat bottom of drinking glass, gently press center of crust to flatten slightly. Cool completely, about 1 hour 30 minutes.

Step 4

In large bowl, mix 1 3/4 cups of the whipping cream, the evaporated milk and salt. Beat with electric mixer on high speed 2 to 3 minutes or until mixture thickens. On low speed, slowly add sweetened condensed milk and vanilla; beat on high speed 3 to 4 minutes or until soft peaks form. Fold in 1/4 cup of the candy sprinkles. Pour whipped cream mixture over cookie crust in pie plate; spread evenly.

Step 5

In small bowl, using clean beaters, beat remaining 1/2 cup whipping cream and the powdered sugar with electric mixer on high speed until stiff peaks form. Place whipped cream mixture in decorating bag fitted with star tip. Pipe whipped cream decoratively around edges and in center of pie. Sprinkle with remaining 1 tablespoon candy sprinkles. Freeze at least 8 hours or overnight.

Step 6

Remove from freezer 20 to 30 minutes before serving.

Gainer shake: Just make the recipe without the dough, add whatever liquid you like.

NUTRITION

Serving Size: 1 Serving

Calories 470

Calories from Fat 250

Total Fat 28g

Cholesterol 70mg

Total Carbohydrate 50g

Sugars 38g

Protein 5g

[shootingstar3]

In a relationship with max caulfield (fluff, SFW)

At first, she's very shy and too scared to initiate anything ex: cuddles, kisses. slowly she became very comfortable around you and would always want to cuddle and kiss you. GETS VERY FLUSTERED.

She liked you for a while but was too scared to say anything in fear of rejection, but one day she built up the courage and confessed to you. it was VERY awkward and she blushing a lot. she so giddy and happy when you accepted her confession, wrote about it in her dairy, ranted to chloe, warren, ecctttt

Often plays the guitar for you. claims her skills are poor but ends up coming up with a stunning melodic piece to express her love as much as she can since words do her no justice.

Takes photos of you religiously and hangs them up on her wall even has you has her lock screen. LOVES to take silly cute pictures of the both of you. Takes gorgeous pictures of you without noticing.

Loves to sit next to you on quiet nights gazing at the stars while listening to music

Constantly rants your ear off with photography facts and all her geeky interest (you find it extremely interesting and adorable) shows you all the pictures she took while wandering around and can't wait to share the idea behind every single one of them.

Loves to have movie nights every single friday cuddle up with you and watch her favorite movies or series.

hand crafts many gifts for you sits down and patiently does everything even though she isn't very good at it.

extremely introverted. whenever you guys go out she stays close and turns off her brain since she trusts you. OR you turn off your brain and she guides you around like a lost puppy...depending on the day of the week ig...hehehe

LOVES to play indie games often gets you to join her and grind terraria on weekends

Adores having long conversations with you and always loves to hear your opinions

Amazing listener and great communicator

Treasures every single moment with you . Somehow a professional baker. Bakes mouth-watering treats and doesn't allow you to touch anything only wash the dishes.

Whenever you have a stressful day she gives you endless cuddles and kisses and makes sure you feel better. gives you your space if needed but checks up on you and is super clingy and touchy

Breakfast in bed

Loves to cook with you and try out new food from different cultures

Lies down next to you on the bed and aimlessly scrolls through her feed complaining to you whenever she falls for ragebait or when she sees something mind bogglingly stupid.

Messages you throughout the day updating you about every single small detail happening in her life.

Whenever it's cold she cuddles close to u burring her face into your neck

thats it!! i have more in my mind but for now im done. THIS IS my first ever post if you liked it say so and drop some requests about other characters (they dont have to be from LIS i am involved in loads of fandoms) thank you for reading lovely people

[the-habitat-ring]

For Christmas I got most of my family members a pack of heirloom seeds picked out just for them. They’re the classic kind of gardeners — they grow their peas, zucchini, tomatoes, etc. pretty much the same way as my great-great-grandparents did, with seeds bought from the same store. I’ve always been the one to branch out, and it was a lot of fun picking out seeds that would be fun for them without freaking them out too much. So I got things like Holstein cowpeas for my brother who works in dairy farming, turkey craw beans for my brother who’s a hunting enthusiast working on his turkey super slam, and giant rattle poppies for my sister-in-law who enjoys baking and flower arranging. For my niblings I got fun variations on things they already grew, like dragon tongue beans and pineapple squash.

I also gave out seeds I saved from my garden, and I’m proud of how the seed packets I made turned out!

The okra and rats tail radishes are new to them, but I think they can handle it. And I think I’ve convinced some of my family to try the love of my life next year, Swiss chard

To top it all off, all of the seed packets were “wrapped” by putting them in the envelopes from our leftover wedding invitations (from years and years ago, and printed with an old address so they’d be a pain to use for anything else)

[audible-smiles]

eating salmon: an explanation

lox: thin cuts of salmon (traditionally the fatty belly meat) dry cured with salt, but not smoked. this results in a delicate texture and a very salty taste. lox originated in Scandinavia as a method of preserving fish prior to refrigeration, but the American English word is derived from Yiddish because Jewish delis in New York first popularized it as a bagel topping. since lox is a type of uncooked fish, it is not recommended for pregnant people, immunocompromised people, or seniors, due to the risk of contamination with listeria.

cold-smoked salmon: thin cuts of salmon brined (with less salt than lox) and then smoked below 90 degrees Fahrenheit. results in the same silky texture but a milder, more palatable taste. often called "Nova lox", referring to Nova Scotia but denoting a method of preparation rather than the fish's origin. this is usually what modern Americans are referring to when they use the term "lox". cold-smoking reduces but does not eliminate the risk of listeria.

hot-smoked salmon: salmon brined quickly and then smoked above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. results in a flaky, jerky-liked texture, a hard shiny surface, and a smoky flavor. (as a West-coaster, this is my preferred style!) hot-smoking eliminates listeria during the cooking process, but salmon can be recontaminated during the processing/packaging process if the facility is not sanitary. (really, this is true of all foods- vegetables, dairy products, etc).

salmon candy: a traditional Pacific Northwest hot-smoked salmon recipe where the brine is sweetened with brown sugar, and the smoked fish is glazed with a sauce containing birch or maple syrup.

salmon jerky: cured salmon hot-smoked for longer than usual or processed in a dehydrator until it is tough and chewy.

gravlax: a traditional Scandinavian raw salmon recipe where the brine contains sugar and dill. historically buried in the ground and lightly fermented. sometimes it is still pressed to give it a dense texture.

kippered salmon: thicker cuts of brined salmon hot-smoked above 150 degrees Fahrenheit. results in a texture similar to baked salmon.

salmon sushi/sashimi: completely raw fresh salmon. this didn't exist in traditional Japanese cuisine, where salmon was always cooked, possibly because the local wild salmon had a high burden of parasitic worms (anasakis nematodes). Norwegian fish sellers convinced them to try farmed Atlantic salmon raw in the 80s, and it really took off.

poached salmon: salmon cooked on the stove while submerged in liquid (often white wine with lemon). results in a moist, soft, cooked fish with a pale color. can be bland without sauce.

baked salmon: salmon cooked in an oven, often wrapped in aluminum foil with seasonings to retain moisture and flavor. can result in perfect, flaky fish (as long as you don't overcook it).

dishwasher salmon: look, sometimes white people wrap salmon in aluminum foil like they're going to bake it and then poach it in their dishwasher instead. this can work but is stupid because the temperature dishwashers run at isn't standardized, so you have no control over the process and it's easy to over or undercook.

pan-fried salmon: salmon cooked in oil on a stovetop. I've never done this and frankly it sounds wrong, but I bet it makes the skin crunchy.

broiled salmon: salmon cooked under a broiler. as with all broiled foods, you will have to stare at it the whole time or it will burn to a crisp while your back is turned. results in a caramelized exterior.

grilled salmon: to grill salmon people often put it on a Western redcedar plank pre-soaked in water, which supposedly infuses the salmon with a smoky, aromatic flavor while it cooks. I've seen the technique variously credited to the Haida, the Salish, and the Chinook. it seems to be a modern variation of the traditional "salmon on a stick" style of slow-cooking salmon by spearing it on branches and leaning it over the coals of an above-ground pit fire.

deep-fried salmon: this sounds absolutely awful but I simply cannot stop thinking about it