#bare with me you guys my brain is a mess and i cannot for the life of me write through anything from start to finish properly | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

seeyouonsaturn · 4 months ago

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nooo I forgor to send some of these last time. hands you asks !!! for whoever is on the brain !!!

Who makes the other blush all the time and who finds it adorable?

Who curses, and who reprimands the other for it?

Who's adorable when they're sleepy, and who gets grumpy and irritable?

Where would they go on a 3am adventure?

Which one wears the "I'm with stupid" t-shirt?

ask game

Who makes the other blush all the time and who finds it adorable?

Skyline: Especially in the early stages of their relationship, D-16 is so incredibly awkward and shy around Skyline, and she thinks it's the cutest thing. She genuinely can't get enough of it, he's too adorable, she's constantly overwhelmed by cuteness aggression towards her tiny boyfriend.

Then, once he eventually grows more confident in their relationship, he's pulling a uno reverse on her, because at that point Skyline is so hopelessly down bad for him that even the slightest flirty comment or perhaps even suggestive line has her dying. And D-16 can't get enough of it either; he still can't believe he has that kind of power over her. They're just both blushing messes by the end of it. Once again I am reminded of just how young these two are, they're so precious, I hope nothing bad ever happens to them.

Bluescreen: Once LugnutClobber finally (finally) gets her shit together and starts going out with Bluescreen, and finally realizes the power she has over that poor girl, it's all over. Bluescreen's barely even blushing, she's just straight up passing out every time. But it's fine, it's normal, she's had it checked out by a medic and had it cleared, it's just... a thing that happens. And oh Primus it's adorable. Clobber feels bad about making Bluescreen's processor crash so often but it's also so darn cute, she can't help it. You really like me that much?? Clobber's going all heart eyes (eye) over it every time. She keeps telling everyone she knows about it because it makes her feel so darn happy and loved she just has to share it. Meanwhile everyone else is so done with her idiocy because yes Clobber, you've been having that effect on Bluescreen for centuries, how have you JUST noticed???

Crux Stratos: I haven't even released this guy to the public yet but they FIT so shhhh.. BOTH they take turns. You'd think Stratos would be the one constantly making Swerve's faceplates overheat, showing up at the bar just to openly flirt with him, or even just by showing him genuine affection. And you wouldn't be wrong, they do do that, but oh, the other way around it's so much worse. Stratos is weak for that little man. Flirt back at them once and they're a blushing mess. Please stop doing it in front of everyone they've got a reputation to uphold. They're trying so hard to keep it together. In private though? They're on their hands and knees begging for mercy.

Who curses, and who reprimands the other for it?

TfP!Ultra Magnus and Nightpurr oh my god.

Livewire: Livewire physically cannot say more than two sentences without cussing. It's so bad. And once she picks up human expressions it gets even worse. Ratchet wouldn't care if it was just once in a while (I think Ratchet also deserves to say fuck) but girl you need to calm tf down. Please. He's too old for this shit. How is she using words he's never even heard of. Livewire I am going to weld your intake shut. At least she's trying to swear less in front of Sari but the improvement is minimal.

Who's adorable when they're sleepy, and who gets grumpy and irritable?

Trixie: Sleepy Trixie is surprisingly agreeable and almost docile at times. Unless you piss it off, in which case she is BITING. But overall she's just grumpy and complaining about everything, but looks so cute while she's doing it, probably with ruffled fur and a blep. She's just a sleepy little creature. Just pick it up and let her sleep in your arms, Senny.

Sentinel meanwhile gets SO annoyed by everyone and everything if he's not getting enough sleep. Of course he can fake being nice and all that if the situation calls for it, but god forbid you have to deal with him in private, you will not be having a good time. Sometimes even Trixie has to tell him to take a fucking chill pill and get his ass to bed if he's gonna act like a pissy toddler who stayed up too late.

Havoc: Havoc is trying so hard to keep it together, she Has To Be Nice, she can't let her angry side show, but people won't give her a break and she's been awake for days, please save her. She's constantly running on fumes because she refuses to sleep a normal amount, so she's used to it, but even Havoc has her limits. Sleep-deprived Whirl probably has his own emergency code level.

Bluescreen: Sleepy Bluescreen is just adorable. Please pick her up and put her to bed. Tuck her in. Give her a lil kissy.

Where would they go on a 3am adventure?

Ash: Outside. Please take them outside at night oh my god. They'll drive far out into the forest where they can actually see the stars, and watch nocturnal animals go about their business. Ash could never do this before because it just isn't safe to do alone for a small human, but with Prowl there for protection they're finally living their best life.

Wildside: Where don't they go? Wildside prefers the daytime where people are awake and available to be bothered, but the night life of the city has got its own charm too. And the dark's not scary when you've got headlights. The time of day doesn't matter - it's always time for adventure. If those two dumbasses aren't keeping the citizens of Detroit awake with their antics, they're probably back home in their garbage dump harassing the local raccoons (they're playing dress up with old baby clothes they found!)

Which one wears the "I'm with stupid" t-shirt?

Havoc: This feels like such a Whirl thing I need to make it Whoc. Except I don't think Whirl would actually wear the shirt because (unfortunately) Havoc just isn't stupid. But hear me out. Havoc wears the shirt. She got it as a joke gift from someone and thought it was hilarious so she's wearing it. Whirl also thinks it's hilarious, you know he wouldn't be offended if it's funny af. He's standing next to the arrow and posing.

Trixie: They're both wearing the shirt. TfA!Sentrix especially oh my god.

Bonus: TripTrick. They INVENTED those shirts.

#two talks #maccadam #two's ocs #transformers oc #answered asks #oc ask game #oc: i'll be your animal #iacon's finest | nhg #oc: living on the wild side #bluescreen temp tag #oc: summer silence #oc: like a pulse #oc: under the surface #triptrick #oc: salt in the wound #oc: to be quiet #🐈‍⬛💜#iacon's finest | tripwire #iacon's finest | trickshot

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paperstreetlocal · 11 months ago

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Please expand on your Narrator neurodivergency hcs too if you're willing!! I love the ones you did for Tyler.

this isn't just neurodivergent shit its also like other issues sorry i cant stay on topic

autism wise i dont think he really gets overstimulated ? not the type to have a sensory meltdown or something i feel like he just kinda blocks out everything around him if its too loud or whaetever.disassociates a bit.Textures though……thats a whole other thing i think he ust wears simple somewhat tight clothes.half the reason cuz hes boring and has no fashion sense the other half is he just cant stand having anything excessive on him

ithink he stims in more subtle ways cuz he masks a lot Mostly just taps his foot or bites his nails or fidgets with pens/longer objects and flings them around on accident.i feel like he would touch his hair a lot and always keeps it short and tidy cause he cant stand it eing longer.scratches his forearms Generic stuff like that

his ocd gets really bad tho his brain runs literally 24/7 which pairs w his insomnia and the guy just thinks about bullshit constantly.intrusive thoughts galore I dont think hes a perfectionist by any means but he has to keep certain things tidy/closed or it drives him up the wall.specifically his work cubicle which is a mess but organized to nobody but himself n i think he gets extremely paranoid at times especially right around when he moves in w tyler cuz of the lack of lock on the front door and tht stuff

also when it comes to compulsions i think he bites (previously mentioned) and eats his nails and completely decimates them for several reasons and picks at his skin/scalp/teeth/eyes a lot and not in a hygienic way (do i even need to put this in here? nothing about their house or them is hygienic) and having to move into tylers house fucked up with his routine super badly hedidNotlike it in the slightest

e strikes me as the type to be anemic and always be freezing cold (unlike tyler whos a radiator) and overdresses while outside (him in his silly puffy jackets) and i think he sweats waaay ay too much bad eyesight had glasses at one point but switched to contacts and then got his apartment blown up now he gets eye infections cuz he doesnt have any neww ones

for the schizophrenia stuff i mean. somebody hcs him as schizophrenic somebody as a did system .. . personally im either not sure or he has both but i mostly go w the notion that the whole runtime of fight club was the narrator having a schizophrenic episode and i do think tyler may have appeared earlier on in his life in a different form and he just forgot or wasn't aware it was him.i dont think chuck did his best repping either of the disorders so whatever goes honestly lol (my main issue is you can have alters and be schizophrenic but having an alter AS a hallucination is incredibly odd to me? is that even a thing /genq) neeway dont have any special hcs just whatever happens in the book/movie u know abt that already

also extra stuff for tyler i forgot b4 i think he likes sniffing him.his mind cannot comprehend Not Smelling Like Fucking Shit 24/7 (narrator is somewhat cleaner and thus smells ok sometimes. mostly like sweat though) CONTRARY to that id card (ifykyk) i think his handwriting is AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! his ass does NOT write in perfect cursive ik his shit is barely legible Fuck You and he cannot spell longer words like Wednesday what do you think this is ? Spelling bee ?

#sorry for taking so long i forgor #tekstic #might add moe if i remember

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krispdreemurr · 1 year ago

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I'm not sure if you're still doing fic requests, but maybe you could write one about Kris meeting (or experiencing might be a better term) Gaster? I can only imagine the properties of a man who exists both beyond and interweaved into the fabric of reality would also bend reality itself. I wanna know how messed up it would feel to be in proximity to this guy. Like a warning aura.

[i've done first meetings a few times before so this is a second one lol, hope that's ok]

The first thing they notice is always the words.

IT HAS BEEN

SOME TIME.

He doesn't speak. There is little sound here; the distant howl of wind, the pulse of their own heart. His words cut through that all and leave behind a silence deeper than is possible, a silence that their brain struggles to fill back up with noise, with words, with anything at all but the aching empty spaces.

They open their eyes.

They're standing on level ground in the dark. They have to remind themselves of that, because somehow they feel a sick lurch in their stomach like the ground has given out under them, like the wind is rushing past them, like they're falling on and on without end--

They're standing.

He's facing them.

Bone white against black, a shape defined by cracks and emptiness. Hands - more than make sense, more than they can keep track of. Eyes. A smile.

He was smiling the last time, too.

Their heart pounds in their chest, setting its own time, and they want to turn and run but they know the ground would give out, they know there is nowhere, there cannot be anywhere, they are lost they are gone they are drowning falling falling forever forever forever forever forever

One of the hands lands on their shoulder. It's shockingly cold, and it is burning hot, and it is burning bleeding melting dying, and they yelp and pull away.

"Don't," they hiss.

APOLOGIES

BUT THIS MATTER IS CRITICAL

I REQUIRE YOUR ATTENTION.

"I don't care about--" They shake their head, force themself to step closer on shaking legs. They can feel nothing beneath their feet, sharp and solid. "You've... Where's Dess?"

A pause.

With a thunderous crack that makes no sound at all, the smile splits wider.

YOU ARE TRULY

TRULY

CARING.

SHE IS SAFE. SHE IS PROTECTED.

ESCAPED FROM THE GAZE OF THE ANGEL

Another hand outstretches. It is lightyears away. It is directly in front of them.

WHICH IS WHAT I ALSO

OFFER TO YOU.

They stare for a moment, then manage a bare, "What?"

The shape--the man--straightens. Fingers tap aimlessly on dark air, with sharp clinks coming with each motion.

THERE IS A STORY YOU ARE CALLED TO SERVE.

THERE IS A ROLE YOU ARE CALLED TO FILL.

YOU CANNOT FILL IT.

He looks at them for a moment, cold light shining in broken eyes, and his gaze smells like bone and rust and feels like something cutting through their chest.

THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU ARE AN EXCELLENT CHILD.

THIS IS JUST SOMETHING YOU CANNOT DO.

I SOUGHT TO ASSIST YOU

AND HAVE BEEN TRYING TO ACCUSTOM YOU

BUT IT IS CLEAR MY AID

IS UNWELCOME.

They remember. Finding themself at the bunker again and again, with only dazed half-there memories. People remembering conversations they'd never had. Hours, days, weeks slipping into a gray haze.

The growing weight on their chest, until one night they'd awoken and caught hold and pulled--

Their hand goes to their chest now. Feels a hole cut through, leeching away warmth. Feels something damp and clinging, blood through their fingers. Feels an alien pulse. Feels something that burns them. Feels everything and nothing at all.

"Why me?" they mumble.

BECAUSE IN A WORLD THAT WAS NOT

AND NOW WILL NOT BE

I WAS A FOOL.

They're back in the dark of the bunker, watching with wide eyes as hands in the dark grip the hilt of a blade and tell them to watch closely, because this is something only they can do, and--

They're dressed in armor they've never seen before, blue and silver, his hand firm and real on their shoulder as he gestures at the sky and talks about reaching to heaven, and--

They're holding out their hand, offering mercy, forgiveness, trust, and his own hand pushes it away and he drives a blade into the earth and nothing pours out and nothing happens and nothing and nothing and nothing and--

They shake their head, trying to clear out memories, to sort out what fits in their head and what is something alien to them.

I CANNOT CHANGE THE PATH.

THE KNIGHT

GIFTED KNOWLEDGE OF THE DARK

WILL OPEN THE FOUNTAINS

SEEKING FREEDOM

SEEKING ESCAPE.

THIS IS SET.

BUT.

YOU CANNOT BE THE KNIGHT.

"Because I'm a failure?" they croak, too overwhelmed to try and hide the truth.

BECAUSE YOU ARE KIND.

He gestures with many hands, and--

There's a window, or a door, or a warp in space, or they have been somewhere else all along. There's a body wrapped in gray, floating empty, hair shifting lengths, face missingabsentgonelost. There's more of those soundless words, but they're not meant for Kris, and they cannot make sense of them.

COME WITH ME

I WILL KEEP YOU SAFE IN THE DARK

FOR A TIME.

ANOTHER WILL CARRY THE BURDEN YOU CANNOT.

AND YOU WILL RETURN SAFE AND WELL.

They hesitate, looking at the stark white shape of the hand. It holds itself steady, a fixed point against the ever-falling ever-rising dark.

They don't want to.

But--

But they know. If there's a need for a hero. For someone who can save the world. It can't be them. Not Kris, tired lonely Kris messaging a brother who won't answer again and again, passing through the days in silence. Not Kris, who no one has even noticed as they slowly vanished.

Maybe it would be better to be gone.

Just for a little while, after all.

They're so afraid. They hate it here. They hate the man and his promises and his demands and his conviction that everything is set for them. They hate the dark and the way it clings to them and drips down them and weighs down their feet without touching them at all. They want to wake up tomorrow and eat breakfast with their mom and go to school like normal and live their life like normal and just keep on through the endless days and pretend.

But in the end--

They're so tired.

They reach across the distance, preparing to grab hold

and that's when red light cuts through the world blade-sharp and someone is yelling something at them in a voice they can almost hear and they feel something hooked in their chest snag taut like the other end has caught hold of something far distant and the man reaches across the infinite distance between them but they are

rising

"Kris!"

Something opens their eyes.

#krisp fic #this is probably the most detailed layout ive done of a LOT of my headcanons

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clazberryk · 11 months ago

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The Threads that Bind Us.

Oh my days guys, this just flowed out of my brain and onto the page. I have been perculating this for a while, and it is something that I cannot get enough of. Envisioning our Taveleigha as a Redeemed Dark Urge.

Please let me know what you think, if you like it at all. I just yea this thought which jsut started as a thought of how i did not like the reactions of the campanions in the game when you redeem yourself and it kinda grew from there.

The Threads that Bind Us.

The group precariously trudged through the undercity of Baldur’s Gate, the sewers. The smell alone was enough to make anyone grimace and bring up their mornings breakfast food. Astarion was hot, irritated and wanted this day finished. The sooner they finished the better for them.

Last night they had gone against the Bhaal Tribunal, and with a strength that even Astarion had not have guessed Taveleigha possessed, they had destroyed the three sisters and Saverok himself. It was no easy feat him, Karlach, Shadowheart and Taveleigha had suffered several wounds that could not be fully recovered by Shadowheart, not that she always healed everyone fully, throughout their months of travels Shadowheart was getting better with her healing, but still it was never completely full.

Astarion watched as their sorcerer leader walked forward, not needing to look at the map they had gathered from Jaheria, when they rescued the ridiculously large Rashemi Ranger, something was clearly leading Taveleigha, and ever since Figaro’s she had been unusually quiet. He knew she was tackling her memories and her past head on, and he admired it, still marvelled at how that after everything that their group needed, she put her needs to the very last. Fighting the urge, fighting the nightmares, fighting the constant war inside her mind, so that himself, Shadowheart, Wyll, Halsin, Gale and even Jaheria’s issues were tackled and sorted first. He felt a sharp stab of guilt in his chest, whilst he and everyone else had been sorting out their complications in Lower Gate Taveleigha had been steadfast and dealing with her own issues, and yet she still put everyone before her. If only she was a little bit more selfish, they could have dealt with this before Yenna was kidnapped by the changeling, which was Taveleigha’s sister, in a weird blood family situation, a broken and messed up family tree that even Astarion still did not understand. Nevertheless, if Taveleigha was a bit more selfish it would not have mattered because she would not have been the Taveleigha he had fallen in love with. The one that he would sacrifice and burn the world to the ground for.

Just last week they had rescued Wyll’s father from The Iron Throne, a day he would not like to repeat, nearly losing her to a sinking prison, she had barely made it back in time for the nautical submarine had to leave.

“We do not leave until Tavi is back” Astarion growled at the pilot of the submersible.

“If we do not leave now, we all will perish” The dwarf snapped back, and Astarion growled showcasing all his teeth, fangs included, he was unsure if it was the sheer desperation and fear in his eyes, or the growl and his teeth combined but the Dwarf had stumbled back in his seat and looked at Karlach and Wyll who just shrugged their shoulders. Astarion reached out with the tadpole, Taveleigha’s was always the easiest to find, due to the number of times they had communicated that way when words failed them. They were intertwined even through their predicament. He felt her, felt her worry, her fear, and her resolve. She would get Duke Ravenguard on this submersible even if she perished. She would not allow Wyll to lose his father regardless of how tumultuous their relationship was. At the last minute, as Astarion watched as the room below filled with more and more water, quickly gaining at the entrance of the submarine, he saw two figures, desperately swimming to the entrance, the flash of red hair told him who it was, and she they broke the surface of the rapidly approaching water, gasping for air, Taveleigha still pushed the Duke up the ladder before her as they quickly ascended. They collapsed into the submersible and Astarion slammed the airtight door shut, before grabbing Taveleigha in his arms and hugging her, even as she was soaked and gasping for much needed air, her lungs deprived for too long. Her sheer stubbornness, keeping her alive, and pushing her forward long after she had lost all breath in her lungs.

“This way” Taveleigha mumbled, her voice quiet and they turned more confusing twists and turns, eventually walking over a broken bridge and through some wooden doors.

After several hours of miles and walking under their feet, they came across a door with no lock nothing, that communicated with Taveleigha. She sighed, and moved her hand to produce the Bhaal amulet, before she could fully remove it from her pack, Astarion stopped her with a hand to her wrist.

“My love, maybe we rest and continue in the morning. You want to be fresh, as we are unsure what waits for us beyond that door” He gently squeezed her wrist, and she looked like she was questioning him, before glancing over to Shadowheart and Karlach, and then back to him, her ever expressive eyes, showcasing her worry and concern over everyone, including him.

“Okay” She whispered stepping away from the door and coming further into the central area of the room. She wrapped her arms around herself her right hand rubbing her left upper arm, in comfort, it was a sign he had quickly learnt that she did when she was trying to self soothe. It was what she did when she was feeling unsure and vulnerable and did not want the others to see.

Astarion started setting up their tent further away from the others, and deeper into the room, opposite the lockless door, with their friends in between her and that door. It was a tactical decision on his part as he was worried that she may disappear in the night, and if she had to sneak past him and the other members of the party, she was more than likely awaken someone in the rare instance he did not wake up when she was not near him. Her selflessness and altruism of ensuring the others would not get hurt by her past and her inevitable choices which lead them directly to this point in their travels. He had recognised the spark of guilt he saw in her eyes, and he also knew he could not lessen that guilt, but just be a constant for her. He himself was unsure if what he was doing was right, the novelty of their relationship taking him by surprise all over again. He was doing what he thought felt right and natural, following her lead when she was by his side when he confronted Cazador, his old tormentor. It was a no brainer, to support her as well, there was no hesitation when she mentioned that she was going after Orin, the shapeshifter, he would be by her side no matter what tomorrow morning brought.

Astarion watched as she wandered around the room, not standing still for more than five seconds, he had never seen her so lost, so set adrift. He was used to seeing her unflappable, she was able to push everything aside for her friends, her companions but when it came to her difficulties she was just as scared and as confused as everyone else. More so, he knew of her lost memories, knew she craved for them back but was also scared of those memories. What would they bring? Taveleigha was smart enough to know that she had not been a good person in the past, and had murdered multiple people, hundreds of people more. He was not sure if he wanted her to remember. That trauma and damage could irrevocably break her mind. He was aware that she had a tenuous grasp on her mind as it was, forcing herself to deal with tasks and missions she could control, or see a clear picture but this. This was something she could not see passed her own nose, which scared even him. Who had been blinded by his confrontation with his master, but in the moment, he had chosen the right path, managing to see a spark of hope for his future, which consisted of multicoloured eyes and red curly hair. He could not force her down a specific road, but he could support and guide her to her own conclusion.

The fight had been brutal, it had been painful, scary at some points especially when Taveleigha was thrown to the floor by Orin, and she shredded Taveleigha’s robes, leaving them in tatters, however eventually they managed to subdue Orin in Slayer form, and Astarion watched from behind Taveleigha’s heaving shoulders as Orin started slithering across the floor to the sorcerers feet, the slayer form melting away until nothing of Orin was left but a pile of bones and a puddle of blood and viscera. Astarion was barely aware of Karlach and Shadowheart finishing the rest of the Bhaalists, he was solely focused on his partner, she had not moved her head from staring at the puddle of blood.

“Master, you are the chosen one” Astarion looked over to The Butler, Sceleritias Fel, he was unsure of what being The Butler was, but he truly did not like the way he said Master, it caused a shiver to run up his spine. Sceleritias was stood over Yenna on the dais in the middle of the platform, the fight between Orin and his love had taken place. Sceleritias looked at Taveleigha with a reverence, with an undeniable feeling of love. The Butler was made to serve, Taveleigha and he did it with a song in his heart. That unnerved Astarion, what unnerved him more was Taveleigha still had not said anything since the beginning of the fight. She turned to face Sceleritias Fel, an unreadable expression on her bloodied and beautiful face.

“Tavi” He reached out to her, and she looked up at him, her eyes looking so very lost. Astarion was taken aback by how much she resembled a lost little child, a lost lamb, looking for guidance, for love. That is when he realised, she genuinely thought she was alone in this. She did not see a future past this room. He gripped her hand “I’ve got you” She shuddered and dragged air into her lungs.

That is when he felt it, a stillness fell through the temple of Bhaal, he knew the others had felt it as well, as they stopped mid action. They all looked to The Butler

“He is here…. He comes for you” Sceleritias was almost giddy, finally he was going to watch his master ascend and he was going to be The Chosen Butler to Bhaal’s Chosen. He bent his body leaning up towards the ceiling, arms spread wide, as if accepting an unseeing embrace.

Astarion and Tavi stepped back as Sceleritias started floating into the air, unseen blades pierced The Butler, several times.

Once through the heart from behind the force lifting him further into the air.

Another through his right lower stomach, through the kidney, from behind again, Taveleigha felt Astarion pull her back, but a macabre sense pulled her forward, she watched as Sceleritias’ blood made a distinctive splatter against the stone floor, she was mesmerised as the blood formed a large puddle underneath The Butler’s floating broken, dying body.

A third thrust of an unseeing blade, a fourth, a five, a sixth all in quick succession,

Then finally a seventh, straight through Sceleritias neck, taking The Butler’s life with it.

The blood continued pooling, Taveleigha barely acknowledged the glowing red eyes in the large skull opposite them, she was too focused on the reflection in the blood, which was still dripping into the pool on the platform. The reflection of Sceleritias’ body bent unnaturally to a standing position, however Sceleritias physical body remained suspended in air. She could not pull away from the avatar.

“I expected the other one” Sceleritias voice came through gravelly and low, it demanded attention and attention it got. Taveleigha could not pull away even if she wanted, she did not feel Astarion or her companions move closer to her, she was held in position staring into the bottomless pool of red.

“Nonetheless, you live, and her blood is returned to me. You are my chosen.” Taveleigha viscerally reacted to the title Chosen, her whole body reacting and refusing the title, she felt sick to her stomach, how could she refuse a god? She was a mere mortal, a lost little elf girl. With a broken mind. She could not go against Bhaal, she whimpered, pure terror coursing through her veins. “I have a gift for you, Child. You will use it to lacerate this world” Bhaal’s avatar continued either choosing to ignore her physical reaction or not seeing it. In the far reaches of her terror, she thought she felt a cool hand grasp hers, but she was not sure. She thought she felt a thumb rubbing against her palm, trying to soothe her but she could not pull away from the avatar. What was real? And what was not?

A gift from your father, an offering and confirmation of his ownership of you. Are you more than what your father made you? Were you worthy of being more? Could you deny your father? His blood runs through your veins. But surely these past several months proved that you were more than your father, more than the Dark Urge that used to fuel you, more than what your father wanted from you. But Alfira…. Taveleigha shuddered again, feeling the tug of her blood, the pull of her father demanding conform. Demanding the bend. The transformation, the change. Taveleigha saw the vision of Alfira on that fateful night so many months ago, the pure terror of what she had done.

She then saw vision of Karlach hugging Dammon after her second upgrade, visions of Shadowheart turning her back on Lady Shar, freeing Dame Aylin, destroying Ketheric. Demanding the Emperor to protect Minsc, the joy on Jaheria’s face when she was reunited with her longtime friend, and then finally on The Pale Elf, she had grown to love these past six months. Vision of him smiling at her, the two of them walking down a dirt path sniping at each other, her wit finally matched with someone else. Her defending him against that vile Drow Abaj. Astarion’s confession. Astarion holding her hand. Astarion gently kissing her. Astarion passionately kissing her, pulling her flush against his body. Astarion smiling up at the sun. Astarion stabbing Cazador over and repeatedly. His grave, his marker of the new life he chose to take. Astarion taking her hand and then guiding her threw the throes of passion. She could be better. She did not have to choose this. Her birth did not mean she was inherently bad. NO! Taveleigha screamed in her head, the word ripping through her throat and out of her mouth reverberating through the temple. She stepped back, finally fully aware of her surroundings, of her companions, of Bhaal’s avatar. Of Astarion’s hand in her hers.

Taveleigha looked to the skull and back down to the puddle of blood.

“I refuse. I will be free of you!” She snapped her voice was hoarse either through lack of use or overuse she was unsure, either way she felt herself tittering on a precipice.

“You refuse me?” Everyone heard this now, Karlach, Shadowheart and Astarion looked around the chamber back at Taveleigha “Your veins course with my unholy blood. Your life is mine accept your inheritance, or I will reclaim it.”

Astarion felt a sharp tug in his chest, it was painful, and he recognised it as fear. He had felt it for himself over the past two hundred years and this was not the first time he had felt it for Taveleigha this time. Nonetheless that pain was not alone, for alongside it there was a warmth, a fluttering Taveleigha was choosing the path he always knew she would take, he was proud of her. However, what was the cost? He reached out with the tadpole, there was a delicate fluttering of her tadpole accepting his connection and all he felt was unadulterated fear. Taveleigha was terrified, of her past, of this Avatar that he could now clearly see what she was seeing, however there was no regret of her choice. Just pure fear. It was choking, consuming, all encompassing. He felt his hand squeeze hers. Reassurance. He forced all his love for her to flow through the connection, but it did not make a dent in her fear coursing through her veins. She truly did not know what was going to happen to her and she was terrified. She still however found her voice.

“I would rather die” Astarion felt his heart rip in two, Taveleigha’s beautiful defiant voice rang clear, her tadpole shuttered the connection, and he was just staring at her face. She was not showing any outward displays of fear, but he had learnt to read her body well, she was leant forward, curling slightly in on herself, but her jaw was set, her mind was made up. She had accepted whatever her decision and her fate be.

“Then it will be so” Bhaal’s voice screamed in all their heads, Astarion gripped the sides of his head the pain too much, as if the very essence of Bhaal was too much for the room in his skull “You were made to conquer. Made to Devour” Astarion glanced at Taveleigha who was grasping her head as well, he noticed that her nose had started bleeding, she glanced at him and he was rocked by the pure terror, even though she had made her decision it did not mean she wanted to die, and it was in that moment both knew. She was not coming out of this temple alive. He tried to fight against the pain tried to reach for her, but he could only watch, broken, frozen, as if compelled to watch, and not intervene, like all his other companions.

Astarion watched unable to stop what was happening, as Taveleigha started to convulse, her gasps and whimpers slammed into his chest, causing his heart to break at every convulsion, every whimper, every gasp. He watched frozen, as she fell to her knees, her ears, nose, and eyes bleeding.

“You reject my blood. So, I will reclaim it” Bhaal’s voice echoed throughout the chamber, but he hardly reacted he was too consumed on Taveleigha’s convulsing form.Watching in horror, as she started to bend backwards, her body contorting in an unnatural form, lifting into the air, her arms and legs falling limp as a ragdoll. He watched in horror as her chest pulled up as if connected to a string to a puppeteer, like a marionette. He screamed her name, but she did not react, to lost in the throes of pain. His Tadpole slammed against hers and he felt her life essence being syphoned away, he felt her heart stutter, and race desperately trying to stop the blood from seeping out of ever pour of her body. Desperately trying to keep her on this mortal coil. However, he knew that fight was futile her body had taken a severe battering from Orin, she was too weak to fight for long, too tired, too broken, her words of herself echoing and mirroring what was happenign in front of him.

“I will make another who is worthy” Bhaal’s final words, where also Taveleigha’s final breath.

Silence fell over the temple, Taveleigha was suspended in the air as if a mockery of her pain, it was contorted on her face, she fell to the floor with a sickening crunch of her bones and spine. Astarion was frozen, he numbly watched as Shadowheart ran over to Taveleigha and cast revivify, but it did not work. He knew it would not. He started crying, tears streaming down his face, he crawled to Taveleigha’s body, and cradled her in his arms. She was limp so very limp. Too limp. She was starting to cool.

“No, no, no, no” He whimpered. This was not supposed to happen, this was not supposed to be the outcome. The good guys always won. They were the good guys!

“Astarion...” Shadowheart whispered, and placed a hand on his shoulder,

“NO!” He screamed.

“Astarion, please” Shadowheart tried again, he moved Taveleigha’s body away from the cleric, he had to protect her. He had to save her.

“She made her choice. She was supposed to live” His voice cracked; he did not understand. This was not supposed to happen.

The good guys always won.

Didn't they?

Several things happened at once, Karlach started crying so did Shadowheart, Astarion pulled Taveleigha’s body closer to him, not letting anyone near her, hot salty tears streaming down his face and into her chest as he screamed, not unsimilar to when he killed Cazador into the temple.

“Thou hast defied Bhaal, thy liege and father and in doing so has earned a place amongst champions and heroes” Withers walked past the adventuring group, past Astarion who was on the ground Taveleigha protectively circled in his arms, and they all looked at the older than time mage, skeleton, person? No one still was not sure what or who Withers was, but they could not deny that he exuded old, ancient power, and even showcased it a handful times during their travels reviving, Shadowheart at one point as well as Wyll and Karlach, usually when the party does not have access to Revivify scrolls or when Shadowheart has been drained of her divine magic. But what was he doing here?

Withers stood opposite Taveleigha and Astarion, ignoring everyone else and only looking at Taveleigha, reminiscent of the way Taveleigha had only focused on the pool of blood moments ago, when she was communicating with Bhaal’s avatar. It was as if nobody else existed in the temple.

“But, alas, thy courage was in opposition to the divine cosmology that bound thee to the Lord of Murder” Withers continued the conversation, as though Taveleigha was communicating back and not a corpse. Astarion shuddered a breath, what did this mean? Was Taveleigha supposed to live as the Chosen of Bhaal? Surely not this was Tavi, she was kind, caring, courteous, selfless. She was the kindest person he knew.

He really found himself cursing all the gods, did the divine see all mortals as puppets, as toys they could play with and discard at moment’s notice. Taveleigha did not deserve that. She deserved to be acknowledged and protected her for monumental decision, a decision if he were given, he would be unsure he could do. She had defied her father and had died because of it. She however met that death with grace, only he knew how terrified she was, but she never showed it. She had paid that ultimate price because she wanted to the world to be better. Seeing that the world was better without a Bhaal chosen in it. Astarion hated and loved her for that moment decision, his heart wrenching again.

“Thou art now faithless, godless, and doomed to wander the Fuge Plane for eternity” Withers droned on. Astarion gasped, no she could not. Not his Tavi, no please not purgatory, a lost wandering soul for all of eternity, which was not her end. She should be in the heavens for her sacrifice.

“Do, some…” Astarion was cut of with a raised hand from Withers, the ancient being did not use magic on him, just the raise of the hand, held enough authority, and hidden meaning that Astarion realised that Withers was here for a reason.

I am always at the time of where fate is at a crossroads. Where fate is eternally changed.

Withers started circling them, he thought he heard Karlach say something, but he was unsure he was solely focused on Withers and Taveleigha weight in his arms.

“I will not permit that” Withers voice did not raise however there was a defiance to him, one would argue that he was impressed by Taveleigha decision, although he would not mention it.

What?! How many times had Withers droned on about keeping the balance and he was going to defy that balance. Could Astarion begin to hope again.

“Though all the powers of life and death dictate that it should be so” Withers’ voice took on an ethereal presence, highlighting to everyone in the temple he still held power, that he too was a significant individual in the weave, and strings in the tapestry that was the universe. “I, too, still hold some power, and I invest a portion of it in thee, who hath challenged the gods and now liveth to tell it” Withers raised his right hand glowing a greenish blue colour, Withers continued speaking the Taveleigha, Astarion wondered if maybe Taveleigha, wandering in Purgatory, could hear what Withers was saying. “Thy fight is not yet over, and it is thy fight, for one who can look upon Bhaal and oppose him can survive any crisis” Withers glanced at the skull across the temple, the carving of Bhaal into the stone wall, a look of glee? Defiance? Smugness? Astarion was unsure. “So, rise, Challenger of the Gods, and prepare for battle once more. Death will not claim thee whilst I endure” Withers pointed to Taveleigha’s chest, hand glowing with the divine power, and Astarion felt Taveleigha’s body shudder and convulse, as she took a gasping breath. Her heartbeat thundered in his ears, her blood song sang a beautiful melody, as she took one breath, two, three, four and continued. She is alive!

Taveleigha sat up, shooting out of Astarion’s arms, gasping, pulling in large lungful’s of breath, gasping as if she had been drowning.

“Wh…. What are you?” Taveleigha looked at Withers with awe.

“A scribe, a seneschal, a keeper of records. And now, thine advocate, both here and in the city of the Dead.” Withers bowed his head, recognising Taveleigha worth. Taveleigha was confused, she was just a lost little elf girl. A Nobody, unworthy.

“I deserve to die for all the things I have done” Taveleigha’s voice was small and dripped in guilt, Astarion’s heart gripped again. Please do not take her away again? Please?

“The sole way to atone for thine actions is to do better, in a new dawn. That dawn has come” Withers disagreed. “Bhaal tried to extinguish thee, but his wrath was imprecise. He only succeeded in killing the part of thee he knew. The urge that drove thee to terrible acts. The spark of brutality that made thee his” Astarion could only agree with what Withers was saying.

Taveleigha had grown so much in their travels, from an amnesiac to a fearless leader. Someone who took their challenges and threw them back into the enemies faces, tenfold. She had grown in power and in person. She was more than her urge, more than her lost memories, or impulses. More than her past. Astarion smirked the two of them really were remarkably similar, two sides of the same coin. Both striving to be better than their past deeds.

“There is a new part of you that has grown during thy travels” Withers continued, putting into words what Astarion was thinking and clearly what Withers had witnessed. “That part Bhaal, could not extinguish. As so instead of destroying thee, he has made thee anew.”

“He’s right” Astarion spoke up, interrupting, please believe us! His eyes pleaded for Taveleigha to believe what everyone was thinking and what Withers was putting into words. “You are no monster. You have saved me more times than I can count. My little sorcerer. My strong, immoveable, passionate sorcerer. My love. My heart” he implored, his feelings seeping into his words, and he saw the tears spring into Taveleigha’s eyes, still unbelieving that she was worthy. Gods this maddening woman. Astarion placed his hands on her cheeks and chose to let his eyes tell Taveleigha the love that he felt for her. The passion, the pride. Everything. He titled her head so that he could place his lips on her temple. The universal sign of love.

“The heart of a saviour has overshadowed the mind of a murderer” Withers continued, letting Astarion speak “thou have vanquished thine Urge” Withers looked, happy? Enamoured? In awe? It took someone of great strength to be able to succeed in what Taveleigha had accomplished today. Her body was showing the fight, Astarion could feel her energy waning the longer they were knelt on this cold stone platform, and he was starting to wish they could return to The Elfsong now that this fight was over. The outcome what he expected ALL of them walking out of this temple alive. However, the path not what he had envisioned.

“This intervention, the reclamation of thy soul, is beyond mine ordinary remit. But thou art extraordinary, and so are these times” Withers declared. What did this mean for Taveleigha? “Today thou are born anew” Taveleigha saw the unsaid in Withers words, she was reborn, she had a new path ahead of her and one that she could see, many futures birthed again, because of a decision she made.

Taveleigha staggered to her feet, strengthened by what Withers and Astarion had said, their friends smiling, grateful for Withers but also happy to see Taveleigha alive again. She stumbled under her own weight and Astarion caught her, with an unrelenting arm around her waist, and her gripping his armour.

“Greet the bloodless dawn child of none” Withers gestured to the temple entrance and Taveleigha nodded imperceptibly. “For you life has just begun” And with that Withers disappeared, slowly turning incorporeal and then with a greenish blue flash was gone. Astarion had a feeling he would be at The Elfsong, like normal stood next the Dumbbell, near an unused bed.

Taveleigha glanced around the temple, she was feeling incredibly delicate, like blown glass that would shatter at any moment. She was still unsure what this meant, but she was sure she understood Withers hidden meaning, the power interweaved in his words. Death will not reclaim thee whilst I endure. There was more to those words that what she was sure the others thought. She had a feeling her life truly had just begun, and her old life as the daughter of Bhaal, had died when she herself succumbed to the endless stretch of black, of nothingness a void of no vision, no feeling, just sporadic sounds here and there. No concept of time, she had a feeling that concept of time, those weaves and threads that bound her to the mortal coil did not interweave with her as they previously had. She was sure, her long elven life had just become significantly longer. Whilst I endure.

Challenger of the Gods.

What had Withers seen, what was required of her. Was this beyond the present crisis. Either way she felt her life certainly had just changed dramatically, and she was scared, but determined. She felt like a newborn, but a new adult all rolled into one. There was one thing she was sure of though; she would face it head on.

I, too, still hold some power, and I invest a portion of it in thee.

Taveleigha was irrevocably changed. She was unsure if this was a gift or a burden right now, but she knew she was grateful to be able to walk out of this temple and never look back.

She stepped forward, with the help of Astarion.

Into her new path.

No pressure tagging (I ahve tagged the people who loved my taster tuesday as this is the finished product from that taster): @shewhowas39 @roguishcat @beepersteeper @fleetstreet78 @ouchiemyeyeballs @slothquisitor @eldathsgrove

#astarion #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 astarion #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 tav #astarion x tav #protective astarion #taveleigha #the dark urge #redeemed dark urge #soft astarion #astarion x female tav #elf tav #Immortal tav?

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riverwithoutbanks · 1 year ago

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Since we’re doing s16 wish lists, here’s what I wanna see (in no particular order except for the first one):

Reunion episode(s). Can take up to three episodes because I’m okay with suffering. There are several ways this could go and I have a couple fics on the back burner about it so I won’t elaborate.

Beach episode: they planned to spend a few days near the sea, but a case falls on their laps. Dean is in denial and just wants to chill. The universe seems to be on his side as every time something supernatural happens, he barely misses it (think Linda from Phineas and Ferb). Cas, Sam, and Eileen are slowly losing it, being bullied by a giant squid. Dean is in a long chair, reading Vogue, and sipping Piña Coladas. Jack pops by and goes ‘wow, you guys look like shit!!�� (Dean fell asleep and got a massive sunburn).

Weekend at Bobby’s but Cas, and more comedic. I want this one to expose the shit out of the brothers. Have them be in a middle of a tiff and make it everyone’s problem. Point of the episode being, Cas loves them (especially Dean) a lot. But sometimes he wants to throttle them.

Bittersweet episode about aging. I’m thinking parallels with a monster/human relationship and hunters who got out. Saileen talking about having/adopting children question mark. Potentially dismissed after hearing Dean and Claire having a row whilst Cas tries to defuse the situation (he makes it worse).

Theee Destiel episode (they’re all more or less destiel but this is the big one. Can take place during the reunion arc). They talk about it ™️. It can last the whole season as long as they end up in a relationship by the end. I’m not particularly into domestic portrayals (nothing against them, just not my cuppa tea) so you can make the drama last. Especially if it’s getting on everyone’s nerves.

Oblivious Sam. ‘He meant as a friend, right? 😀🌸’. Would be especially funny if Dean is trying to talk about it but Sam is just not computing. Especially especially funny if he tries to defend their friendship being all like ‘yeah they’re weird but you’re an arsehole for assuming that there’s something more!!’. Dean and Cas look like they were dragged through a hedge backward and mugged by a pack of clowns. Turns out Sam’s right in the end, they weren’t doing anything YET. But now that he has contemplated the possibility, he can’t unsee it. To be continued

Continuation of the previous episode. Sam is looking for a memory erasing spell because he just CANNOT with those star crossed losers. He find Naomi’s… what the fuck was her lobotomy stuck, anyway? Some kind of sonic screwdriver? Moving on, he realises it’s been used recently (traces of grace or whatever, pick your poison. The magic system doesn’t make any sense anyway). Oops :) looks like someone has been messing with them. Wait. Wasn’t there someone else? Where’s Eileen?

The Big Bad. I love me some Chuck won and possessed Jack so it would go in that direction. The sonic screwdriver was in the bunker because Eileen caught Chuck!Jack’s new creation fucking with their brains. I wish it could be a cool uncanny monster, but let’s be real it will probably be just some dude ™️. She walked in on it lobotomising Cas (because it’s iconic<3) and tries to fight the thing off. Epic and terrifying chase scene through the bunker, especially since Eileen can’t hear the creature. She hides in a room where they keep spell ingredients and finds Sam’s conveniently placed recipe for calling Rowena. You can figure out the rest.

[end of part 1]

#might add to this post later #I have to study now #spn #destiel #supernatural #spn s16 ideas #for later

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crowscacophony · 7 months ago

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its freak-frackin 2017 boi ^-^

I need to write something but mouthwashing has me in a state of shock still I feel like curly’s barely conscious body bruh he’s literally me. (Not a spoiler this is literally revealed in the first five minutes I promise) I need some kohls brainrot but unlike Jimmy I CAN TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY ACTIONS fuck Jimmy all my homies hate Jimmy mouthwashing

I was going to do some historical fangstitch but despite my favorite fanfic I’ve ever read being about wwii and fleeing nazism I cannot bring myself to actually write anything even though I have some really cool (I have to keep telling myself that it’s okay for things to be historically accurate even though the vocabulary used *specifically for Crow and his Romani heritage* would be entirely different and it’s better to be tasteful) ideas

So instead. We’re embracing the cringe.

WELCOME TO THE YEAR 2017 BITCHES

Mid to late 2010s fandom was an insane mess. No one knew how to act. No one was anywhere near normal. I was there. I remember it all too well. The era of flower crowns and cell shaded big eyes and Hamilton animatics. Good God it was like being on crack with a bunch of closeted queers

And I keep seeing the “mouthwashing if it was released in 2016 posts” where people are drawing the characters in flower crowns and big sweaters and “smol beans” and “cinnamon rolls :3” and it’s like a bullet to the brain. And I LOVE it. Give me more.

So. The Dalseum Duet if it was released in 2017. Let’s fuckin pretend.

The people of 2017 fandom would be cancelled left and right today and I’m going to revel in that for a minute.

An entire cast of characters of color is not really ideal. Because we saw what happened to Hamilton. Here are my predictions for the most cancellable race offenses:

People just cannot draw Sara. They can’t fathom that her skin is dark. They keep coloring her this weird ashy mid-toned color and squishing her face to make her look “cuter.”

Marie gets whitewashed to high hell. She’s supposed to be cutesy and feminine and the people of 2017 could not fathom that she has darker skin than Crow

Same with Adam. He would 100% get “smol bean” woobified. Someone literally just does not realize that he’s black. Art of him but white (out of pure ignorance, not malice) is posted on a prominent artist’s tumblr and never mentioned until someone digs it back up in 2020

I would say something abt Noeul but people act even worse abt “”morally gray”” East Asian men in 2024 so just go looking yourself if you’re desperate for people saying weird shit. Dw we get to him later

Multiple people come forward saying they didn’t know Cambodia was even a country before reading Heartstrings

still an issue but people just don’t know how to draw Asian features. they all look white for some reason.

crow always has straight hair. for some reason.

Other related offenses

Gale is always drawn either too skinny or something is evidently proportionally incorrect

Where. Where are Crow’s mobility aids guys

The Charlie hate posts. “she’s so annoying omg she thinks everything revolves around her! terrible main character” when she’s just a woman trying to escape an unsafe situation

People are just not normal about crow being trans (to be expected no matter what year tbh)

“my smol trans bb 🥺 my little bean protecc him *GUYS DID YOU CATCH THAT I SAID HIM!! HIM NOT SHE I’M AN ALLY* at all costs”

your smol bb just watched someone get decapitated and didn’t flinch but. okay

people exaggerate sonnet’s proportions so ridiculously. is this transphobic or are you just numb to the furry proportions of animation memes bc their hips cannot possibly be that large

A LOOK AT THE FANDOM

So many theatre kids who can’t communicate to anyone effectively. So many. Think Percy Jackson of eras bygone meets the Heathers animatic era.

The most viewed video is an animatic of Sara telling off Noeul after the trial set to “Congratulations” from Hamilton.

And now. Just know that this hurts me to say bc this album is my guilty pleasure but not a pleasure bc it hurts me to listen to some of these songs. Sigh.

Panic! at the Disco’s album “Death of a Bachelor” released in 2016, shifting the edgy fandom space forever.

The Council fanart. The animatics. Were edits a thing at this time? Fuckin PMVs? Idk. BUT GOOD GOD. EVERY SINGLE SONG ON THAT ALBUM. THERE WILL BE 100 COUNCIL ANIMATICS AT THE LEAST FOR EACH ONE. ALL IN THE SAME EXACT ARTSTYLE YOU KNOW THE ONE

THE FANART EDITS. GOD. NOEUL WITH HIS EYES BLACKED OUT WITH A BAR WITH LIKE “Fifty words for murder and I’m every single one of them” WRITTEN ACROSS IT HAHAHAHAAAAA his touch is black and poisonous guys. eyes like broken Christmas lights fr

PEOPLE GET SO CORNY OVER THIS MAN. SO CORNY. LIKE. HE MIGHT AS WELL BE TORD. THAT IS THE EXACT TREATMENT HE GETS

oh yeah and Jason Dean too. the comparisons of costco to JD and Veronica. dead girl walking animatics galore

people made JD’s entire personality slushies even though he committed so many crimes. Noeul’s personality is reduced to bulgogi but no one can pronounce it so it just keeps getting worse

people woobify the fuck out of Sonnet. drawing them in big sweaters and flower crowns and sh scars on comically “thicccc” thighs bc they were “suicidal 🥺” (because they were “depwessed” not bc their marriage was fucking loveless and they no longer recognize who they are) and they have pretty pink hair. they tried to murder an innocent woman folks

unironic sams club shippers. “they should have gotten back together after the end! they did!! here is my fanart of Adam (ace mlm who has been severely traumatized by sonnet’s actions) and Sonnet (body has been borderline botched by “gender affirming surgery” and just watched their husband get slaughtered by their daughter in front of their own eyes. cannot form a cohesive sentence due to addiction to a variety of substances)

I’m. I’m going to bed but I will add on to this. Because I find it really funny.

Anyway. Just throwing the image of smol bean-ified Kai in your brain. @svwhssftr Big eyelashes and big blue sweater. Shark plushie. His eyes are blue and suspiciously round. Why does he have visible tits guys this isn’t… He doesn’t even have a face anymore. Bitch is built like captain curly. He is a fucking menace with an undiagnosed personality disorder. But yeah. Yeah smol trans bean (white..?) Kai. Perfect. Exactly. Sorry for that attack of psychological warfare. Thank you 2017 for your service in fandom history

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velvvetcat09 · 6 months ago

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it’s been a while since i just pour out my personal stuff so imma ramble for a bit

my way of coping with irl stuff has always been to indulge in side activities. either playing games, drawing, writing, going online, or watching vids/shows. it’s text book definition of having hobbies.

my creative hobbies need, surprise surprise, my creative drive; something that fluctuates between periods of time. my main source of creative drive is media obsession, i can’t really just draw something out of nowhere, which is why i’m not really into doing original art. while my hoarding mentality will never let me thrash any obsession that i’ve ever acquired, eventually it’ll simmer down. i guess to point out the process of me acquiring an obsession is: 1) consume a new media, 2) enjoy it to the point of consuming the fandom side, 3) create fanworks 4) buy merchs (official or not)

step 4 is not a necessity but step 3 is a pivotal point for me as a creative person. the moment i create something for it, that kind of seals the deal in a way. it becomes personal for me to the point of wanting to create for it. this fire, varies in sizes, whill eventually simmer down to step 2. at that point i return to lurking while focusing on my main tasks. the main thing that p much push me to this burnout is irls, at the end of the day, that’s still my main priority, and it definitely supersedes over my online presence. my sense of responsibility will always make me sacrifice my personal time, i’m not the kind of person who can selfishly enjoy my own things when there’s more important things to do, my own body won’t allow it, in a sense.

hence my sudden absence and then return on the internet. i try to maintain presense (mainly twitter bc for the past years, i’ve gained quite a significant amount of followers from the gintama fandom and kind of still have to maintain my status there), but to be honest, i’m mostly in my step 2 level of fandom engagement these days, i only have enough energy to lurk, i barely have enough braincells to come up with an answer of an ask.

my main comfort during this time is playing games while watching videos. i think multitasking is both a blessing and curse. it’s great being able to do multiple things at the same time but that also pushes your brain to not be satisfied doing one task alone. (though as i’m typing this, thinking maybe the culprit is my commitment issue, i think the main reason is my deep down feeling of not enough time, i cannot waste my time only doing one thing when i can do two things at the same time, i have to make the most of my leisure time; this is probably an unhealthy way of thinking but that’s another can of worm for another day)

this is a long ramble on how i haven’t been able to draw anything lately. not an excuse, but a way inside my mind and how it operates.

rambling like this is my form of therapy. this is p much my personal diary, in a lot of ways. tumblr really is a special place for me. i feel like i can truly be anonymous here, no ties to irls whatsoever. i can truly be open with my mind and heart. writing in here helps me sort out my tangled mess of a brain. i think writing out your ideas, thoughts, feelings, is always beneficial to anyone. you realize a lot of things with writing since for your writing to be able to be read by other, you need to make it presentable, cohesive enough as an essay for anyone to read out in the open. in the process you will have to correct your writing on the fly, you will definitely realize more things along the way. sometimes finding the answer to the question you didn’t even realize asking. this is a good exercise regardless.

anyway if you guys have any fuel to reignite my obsession back, feel free to send me those

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squish36-writes-and-draws · 8 months ago

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12 November: Unraveling

Word count: 579

TW: Swearing, (hyperbolic) self-harm and/or gore, Keefe being allosexual

General Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @faggot-friday @kamikothe1and0nly @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously

@poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @corruption-exe @rusted-phone-calls

@when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes

@callum-hunt-is-bisexual @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @sillyguy-supreme

@void-kill @thefoxysnake

Unraveling Project Specific Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed/upgraded): @cutebisexualmess @crippling-pages @daizythegreat @sophiefostersno1stan @iggydancebreak

@theleopardstalker @you-will-meet-your-downfall @multi-fandom-lunatic

On Ao3 or below the cut!

First (3 November) / Previous / Next

Keefe Sencen's Journal

I had a surprisingly not shit day. I mean, I did get threatened by a guy with a pair of very dangerous looking garden shears, but, honestly, that’s nothing compared to the last few days. I’m trying to not think about those last few days and it really isn’t working, so I’ve taken to hyperfocusing on the previously mentioned garden shears incident.

Apparently I scared him by hiding in the bushes trying not to get found because it’s hard to hide when you didn’t bring an obscurer and, as discussed many times before, I don’t have any fucking money.

So, you know, like any rational person, he started yelling at me and I thought for a second that my polyglot thing was broken but it just turns out that it’s a processing speed limitation as a result of barely sleeping for the past week and a half.

As I was blinking away the exhaustion, I found myself looking at his eyebrows, the angry crease accentuated as they move up and down while ye yells at me and —

Fuck.

It’s kind of a great wonder of the world that I hadn't figured this out yet. I am a buffoon of the highest order. No one has ever or will ever buffoon more than I have. It’s almost like a world record, except bad.

Get me a shamkniv. I need to remove my eyeballs. I’m not doing this again.

If you haven’t guessed, dear journal, I may have gotten deeply distracted by another person’s existence once again, and, as such, I cannot fucking deal with this anymore. All logical options point to me just fucking off to another city, but I’m just going to do it again, aren’t I?

This is the neverending cycle that I’m going to throw myself into. Not even a full forty-eight hours in a new city and I’m already doodling in the margins about a guy who, statistically, I’m never going to see again. And even if I do, that’s not happening. I’m not dragging anyone else into this mess.

Who am I fucking kidding? Either I’m going to leave or I’m going to fuck up. Those are the two options. There is no secret third choice where no one gets hurt.

Later: I should probably also muse poetic about the fact that he’s, you know, a guy and how the elves try to pretend like that whole thing doesn’t exist, but we all know what’s going on behind closed doors with the councillors. Also Alden and Quinlin. They think they’re so clever, but, dear stars, they are so completely and absolutely wrong. I don’t think Fitz knows though. That’s going to be a bit of a revelation if he ever finds that one out.

While we’re talking about Fitz, of course I have to reflect on how our friendship has existed over the last insert-number-of-years-here. And, uh, well, shit. Fitz is hot. How dare he? If I ever go back to the Lost Cities and then get rejected by Sophie, I’ll gladly get rejected to the oort cloud by Fitz.

He’d totally fucking murder me while directly quoting the laws governing the Matchmakers. Although, that does sound kinda hot too.

Who said that—?

Maybe I need to turn off my brain for a bit. That sounds nice. Just give it a nice little bath in cerebrospinal fluid. I’m going to try to get some sleep. It’s not going to work, but it’s worth trying, right?

#kotlc #kotlc keefe #keefe sencen #kotlc fanfic #character: keefe #series: unraveling

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fallenangellinwonderland · 2 years ago

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Call me crazy, but I've been working all day and my brain just went off to a far away land and got this prompt idea while I was listening to get away car.

Don't pretend it's such a mystery, Clyde. Reader is dating this guy, he is perfect to everyone! He is so caring, sweet, such a lovely boyfriend (let's call him Emil). One day a neighbor, from their building sees the door open sensing something bad happened. This neighbor sees Emil unconscious on the floor while reader is slowly getting off the floor in panic, the neighbor calls Scotland yard telling them the situation he believes took place. Lestrade calls the ambulance and Sherlock because he is confused and it doesn't make sense. Emil is taken to the hospital and he's in comma. Reader is in shock, shaking, panicking and doesn't really give any useful information, they cannot take much evidence since the neighbor messed up some evidence by trying to be helpful. Here is where the songs takes place. It was the worst of crimes the best of times, the lies where white. The shades of grey in candle light, she wanted to leave him, she needed a reason. Sherlock tries to analyze her but there's so much panic in her, he can barely read her, he thinks she has something to do with it, but if it too obvious, it's too easy, it cannot be. Possible . In order to try to solve this crime they spend more time together. They were riding in the get away car, there were sirens in the beat of his heart, he knew something was off. She was starting to feel alive again, the light of freedom in her face. Lestrade is pressing Sherlock to solve all this, the guy isn't waking up yet and Emil's family want answers.

This was becoming a circus, reader and Sherlock are both sorry, because she can't give him answers and he can't solve the case for them. After a few weeks he starts analyzing the case again and her attitude, he finally can read her, she is not the same girl he met back then, she is readable now, he sees everything. It hits him like a shotgun shot to the heart. He should have known from the first time they met. She was guilty. Emil was waking up and he would probably speak up. "Don't pretend it's such a mystery. Think about the place where you first met me" She left Sherlock that night, she didn't want to get him in trouble, and she didn't want to go to jail, and she didn't want to face Emil ever again. But Sherlock knew, he knew she wasn't the one to blame, she was just a victim who made a mistake. It had been an accident, to leave him unconscious, she was just trying to survive.

Emil was actually an abusive boyfriend and she had developed some kind of Stockholm syndrome until she got tired of it and tried to get away.

This is too long to be a prompt... let's say it's a summary of the story my brain made up. Cause John it's also there telling Sherlock why he was so blind to see it before. He had developed a chemical defect, he had fallen for her.

@asherloki @astudyinlaura it was too long to share it through your ask boxes.

#sherlock x reader #sherlock #sherlock bbc #bbc sherlock holmes #sherlock holmes #sherlock holmes x reader #sherlock x y/n #sherlock x you #bbc sherlock #Sherlock fluff #sherlock prompts

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winderlylandchime · 2 years ago

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2/2 Mikey is now at Brian’s loft: ‘mike, fix the mess you made. Poor Bri Bri, he looks so bad (he now paused the episode to laugh at Brian’s Chernobyl line. He is so easily impressed with Brian) mike..i doubt he will ever eat chicken soup, he barely eats. FOR FUCKS SAKE BRIAN STOP BEING A BITCH AND ACCEPT SOME HELP. *lets out an actual gasp* IS MIKEY GONNA STAND UP FOR JUSTIN?! TELL HIM MIKE! YES HE IS HIS LOVER! YES! FINALLY MIKE, THAT WAS A SHITTY WAY TO TREAT HIM! I cannot believe im about to say this but mikey..you might have officially made it off my shit list forever.’ Brian says Justin wouldve left anyway ‘what the fuck? Says who? He wouldnt leave you! I cant decide if this is his anger over cancer or what but dudeeeeee stop it! Go back to Justin, if not for you, do it for me’ And we are at Drew’s party ‘im sorry what did he just say? What a piece of shit. Spit in his food. Oooor talk to him..i guess that’s more mature. Yeah, tell this little bitch that he’s a little bitch!’ ‘Im sorry but i just doubt that Lindsay would miss these classes! I mean come on she was all insane over being a mom in the beginning? What is this bullshit? Its giving straight men vibe, you know what I mean?’ And we are at Mikey and Justins scene ‘COME ON BLONDIE STOP BEING STUBBORN AND GO TO OUR MAN! There is no way he’d just let him go like that when Brian is sick. This is bullshit. MIKE DO SOMETHING. (Justin says brian being sick doesnt concern him anymore and he pauses tv) what the fuck is this bullshit?! Nah. Maybe if something horrible happened, id get this. Id even get this during the *makes a grossed out face* ethan era but now? Fuck no. Our boyfriend has cancer and he’s just chill? After he cried and held him the way he did?! Who the fuck wrote this shit? *clicks play* TELL HIM MIKE! fucks sake Justin! Use your big brain! Exactly Mike! GO TO HIM JUSTIN, OH COME ON!!!’ And we are at lindsay and sam scene ‘oh for fucks sake. What is this bullshit and why do I have to suffer it? My baby Bri Bri is sick, my baby Blondie is being stubborn and not listening to me and they think I care about whatever this is.’ He just fake gagged and made a grossed out face to sam and lindsay hugging. And we are at Ben/Mike scene ‘you know what? I never thought id say this but Mike deserves better. He’s been so supportive of Ben and even kept quiet about his own success only for this dick to be a dick to him. I now like mike so he deserves better.’ And we are at Drew/Em scene!! ‘Ugh him again. Fuck you dude bro. Emmett be careful! Something is off about this guy. (Drew makes a move on Emmett) um..what is going on? THIS IS WHAT THAT JUSTIN AND BRIAN FIGHT SCENE WAS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE! Wait..what the fuck dude? I thought he was straight? Okay get it em..i think’ and back to Ben and his student ‘i dont like this shit. What the fuck is this shit? Why is everyone acting so fucking weird and stupid?’ ‘BRIAN! You’re supposed to be resting. He looks like shit. Bri, go home please and call Justin. *he giggled like a little kid* i like how Ted and I both call him Bri. Yes, go home and call JUSTIN FOR FUCKS SAKE! (Brian walks in his loft to Justin cooking) JUSTIN! BLONDIE IS HERE!!! HE MADE HIM SOUP! Brian stop being a bitch! YES BLONDIE TELL HIM. (justin snapped at Brian) OH MY GOD! TELL HIM BABY! YOU GO GIRL! EXACTLY HE CANT HANDLE THIS ON HIS OWN! YOU GO BABY! YEAH BRIAN WHY WOULD YOU THINK HED LEAVE! Babies, before this goes bad, how about none of us leave? *stands up and literally puts his hands in the air and claps* YES GET YOUR ASS BACK IN BED AND EAT CHICKEN SOUP! I guess he will eat soup. HA! Remember when Debbie said he met his match?’ He then paused on Britin in bed at the end and walked to the tv and pointed at it while looking at me and went ‘THIS! THIS IS ALL I WANT! Is that too much to ask for? Now give me the next episode!’

I cannot believe im about to say this but mikey..you might have officially made it off my shit list forever.

Forever is a long long time, I’m curious how he’s going to react to S5 Mikey…

Lindsay would absolutely not miss the birthing classes. That was so out of character. CowLip really did not care what they did with their lesbian representation.

Ben is such a shit in this whole storyline. Michael has the bad luck to be with men who seemingly like him partially because his career is less impressive than their (Dr. David I’m looking at you.) Toxic masculinity, you even infect the queer men.

Okay his entire reaction to the chicken soup line (YOU GO GIRL) just made my night.

Brian did meet his match in Justin. That’s why they are OTP.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

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vivvstrome · 7 months ago

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Chapter 2: The Beach House Disaster

So, things started to take a turn for the worst when my friend group—who, at the time, apparently had a death wish—decided it was a great idea to hit the beach during our midterm break. And of course, who was there? He was. The main ingredient in the disaster stew, just waiting to happen. We rented a villa with six bedrooms and a pool. Naturally, I was planning to crash with my girlies, as one does. But the universe, in its infinite cruelty, decided that fate had other plans for me.

The girls locked the bedroom door. Yeah, locked me out. So, with no other choice, I decided to sleep on the sofa on the first floor. At least it was quiet, right? Wrong. Dead wrong.

There he was, drunk off his ass, screaming and singing karaoke like it was his personal concert. And then—then—he starts screeching about the childish-looking girl in the music video, who apparently had the “best smile” and made him melt. I’m sorry, but what the actual f*ck?!? The dude had issues, and I could already feel my brain slowly shutting down.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed the nearest bottle of Vodka(the stuff that we all secretly love) and chugged it like my life depended on it. Seconds later? I was passed out.

The next thing I know, I wake up in his bedroom—and guess what? He’s not even there. I was alone in the room, half-drunk, with no clue how I ended up there.

So, I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling like my brain had been run over by a truck. There he was again—still singing like it was his personal karaoke battle. But this time, he

carried me up to his room. I don’t even know how, but somehow, I ended up in his bed. I was half-drunk, completely out of it, and my first thought was, “What the hell just happened?”

But then? My body said, “Hell no,” and I hauled my half-sleeping self out of his bed. I wasn’t about to sleep next to him—absolutely not. I had better options, like… the sofa. The beloved sofa in the living room, away from all of his cheap-ass weed smoke and karaoke delusions. So, I stumbled down the stairs like a drunken mess, dragging my half-conscious self to the first floor.

Meanwhile, he’s down there, high as a kite on whatever garbage weed he had, singing at the top of his lungs about that childish-looking girl—and I’m just over here, praying for the sweet relief of being as far away from that mess as possible.

So, there I was, barely alive from the vodka, and I crawled down the stairs like a wounded animal just trying to find comfort on the damn sofa. I passed out immediately, completely unaware of the disaster that was unfolding.

Then, the next morning (or, really, noon?), my friends burst into the room, and guess what they find? Me, fully clothed—thank God—lying next to him in bed. Not even sure how I ended up there, but they immediately started shipping us like we were some rom-com couple.

I cannot with these people.

So there I am, trying to recover from my night of bad decisions, and this guy has the nerve to scream, “EW!!? EW!? Excuse me?!” Like he didn’t just carry my drunk ass up to his room in the first place. The audacity. But, I was trying to be a nice person, you know? I didn’t want to start drama in front of everyone, especially since I barely knew most of these people. I kept my mouth shut—figured I’d just leave it. But then, he had to take it a step further.

#girlblogging #relationship #crazy ex bf #dating disaster #spilled ink #it gets worse

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canonisdead · 1 year ago

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My own character headcanons of BOY THESE CHARACTERS NEED GODDAMN THEARPY Part 1

I was inspired by a post and at first I was going to do a reblog but it was getting REALLY long

Guardian: In the timelines where he kills three people. *I'm not fully sure if Dipsy counts* Shadow doesn't stop tormenting him about it *Shadow my bro I know you're angry that the banana you adopted was killed by Guardian but that's not a good reason to heavily bully Guardian* and lets four shadow versions of the four to torment him further and I don't know if him being one of the products of his parents in the White Coat's captive breeding program counts-

Po: In my AUs Guardian damaged her antenna and so it effected her brain since the antenna is connected to the skull and the brain is in the skull. So if she got cured in those AUs where Guardian does that, it can't reverse the effect it had on her brain. I have two categories where Po gets hung and where she hangs herself. The second sounds a bit more scary to me because the infection is making her do that, imagine losing that amount of control over your body and cannot stop yourself from killing yourself. And she's usually 13 in my AUs. Her father stepped out of the picture, not wanting to do anything with Naa-Naa after Po was seemingly born with any kind of fear gene nor common sense.

Laa-Laa: Oh WhERE do we begin, is tormented by the shadow versions of her friends *luckily when Shadow checks how Laa-Laa is doing because he's not a helicopter father figure, he shoos them away* her best friend is killed by her normally very nice friend, she has the misfortune of meeting Guardian, barely survived when she ran into a monster, finds out her every move was being watched. And can get killed by the same guy with a rock. *I must remind you Guardian doesn't have much muscle strength so realistically he would have to hit her repeatedly with the rock and she would see who killed her* And other times gets killed by the only guy that seemed to genuinely care about her feelings. And gets trapped under a pillar and either is stuck there or gets killed by a rock again. Laa-Laa isn't having a fun time. Forgot to mention the events before her life as a test subject, *her biological father sold her and her siblings out to the government without telling her mother* when the White Coats came to take them away for the experiment, she tried to fight them with a sharp weapon but of course what is a 7 year old girl gonna do against grown men?

Tinky Winky: He had no control over his body and could only watch as he killed his friends. He has foggy memories of seeing his mom's dead body but her face is always blurry and of course he doesn't remember having a mom nor remember that Noo-Noo is his dad. He had a good family life before Luna and her parents were killed. He has to face the horror of his dad starting this whole mess and how controlling Noo-Noo is.

Dipsy: Uh he gets strangled by Tinky Winky and it's like "Is this because of the sexual advances, okay I'll stop, just let go of my neck, only Laa-Laa is allowed to give me near death experiences" And his leg gets burnt by the laser. And I wanted him to have more trauma so I had Guardian dig the chainsaw into his leg to make sure Dipsy wouldn't try to get up and chase him down. Oh wait Dipsy is also a product of the breeding program except that his mother was just forcibly impregnated with a sample of Rep DNA.

Dutch: My boy very upset at his whole family deciding to give up on Finn, so he did his very best to try to get him the treatment he needed and to take care of them both. He stole some money from his dad's safe until he found out and kicked him in the stomach, cracking his screen a bit. He also has some scars from the abuse. So it's a bit of child forced to grow up fast situation. And then has to deal with the whole his brother being dead and in timelines where he escapes being killed by Richard, he's blaming the whole situation on Richard because he believes he left Finn to die. 'I was supposed to trust that every time you two were on a mission together, you would always bring him back alive'. And there's the whole break up arc where Miles refuses to believe Richard tried to kill Dutch and it makes Dutch even more angry. Honestly my Dutch wouldn't really be upset about being killed by Richard because I must put extra emphasis when I say that Finn was Dutch's reason to live and get up everyday and now Finn is dead. I forgot to mention Dutch wears a 'mask' to the world. The mask of outgoing, flirty behavior and egoist behavior. But usually only lets down his mask around Finn. He hasn't put it down for Miles yet, he's worried that Miles loves the mask he puts up and wouldn't love the real him.

Finn: This freaky weirdo had compilations in his birth which is why he's younger than Dutch. (This is my worldbuilding and I don't care if that's accurate or not) He needed treatment for his weak body but when his parents realized Finn couldn't recover without it, they decided they rather let him die. The oldest brother constantly misgenders him. I think he finally got the treatment (thanks to Dutch's efforts and Ninja's parents) when he was 7 maybe? But he basically needed a lot of help walking. I need you to understand that he was younger that every movement hurt so he didn't bother doing anything that hurt. So he had to be taught to do things he didn't bother trying to do when he was younger. Like walking. But he recovered and now can kick harder than anyone on the planet. But then I made him get blackmailed by the General. This mf controlled this 18 year old with "I have the power to control what ranks anyone you're associated with has, so give me oral sex and they will rise higher rather than lower" While Finn usually shares all of his problems with his brother, he's truly scared if Dutch finds out, he'll think he's a whore and disown him. Dutch is basically the only family he has. He doesn't want to ruin Dutch's reptation with this problem.

#slendytubbies #Finn you need therapy not sex #Dutch please Miles will love you for who you are #You have to deal with Dipsy being sexually attracted to Tinky. Siblings is your headcanons.#Tinky internally screaming as he doesn't want to admit Noo-Noo is a bad person #Laa-Laa isn't okay #Po isn't okay either but she's oblivious #Of course I know Guardian has trauma who do you take me for

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