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cursed-elo-images · 2 years ago

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HEY EVERYONE I NEED TO POST ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA INCORRECT QUOTES ON HERE BECAUSE THE WORLD NEEDS THEM!!!

The website I generate these from are none other than the lovely https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator, whose quotes come from user suggestions, Tumblr, Twitter, and bash.org (the sources that aren’t user suggestions were pretty early and they take quotes from user suggestions now just to clarify) and I’ve been having the time of my life making them.

Also, as a heads up I’m only posting SFW ones.

And so I’ll edit this post whenever i generate new ones and copy and paste them into my documents and choose the ones I want to post. I know that with incorrect quotes from any fandom, people like to post multiple posts of one quote or a handful of them wherever they post them from and I’d like to do that, it’s not a bad idea, I just like to collect them all in a large mega post.

UPDATE: this no longer applies to this post. I’m not making it a mega post anymore, because it’s too confusing for me and I’ll be like “okay so if this the original mega post or is this the first reblog or the third reblog or the tenth reblog—“ and it just looks better with multiple posts of a collection of different quotes.

SO WITH THAT BEING SAID—here they are!!!

Melvyn, talking to Mik: Well Mik, whenever I’m about to do something, I think ‘would Hugh do that?’ and if he would, I do not do that thing.

Mik: …

Hugh, from the distance: He’s not wrong though!

Melvyn: The first time I ever got upset in front of Hugh, he put his arms around me and it was so awkward that I had to ask him if he was hugging me or reaching for something on the shelf behind me.

Hugh: I was doing both, for your information.

Mik: The first time Hugh hugged me, it was such a disaster we didn’t make eye contact for, like, a week after.

Melvyn: When I was a kid, Hugh told me that the paper strip that’s in the chocolate kisses were edible and I ate them with the chocolate for a year.

Mik: They are!

Melvyn: FOR REAL?

Mik: No! Why did you fall for it again?

Mik: They made Melvyn cry!

Hugh: Melvyn always cries!

Melvyn: That's not true! *cries*

Richard, setting down a card: Ace of spades.

Jeff, pulling out an Uno card: +4.

Kelly, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!

Bev, trembling: What are we playing?!

Richard: Are you laughing at that video of Bev and Jeff fighting?

Kelly: No.

Kelly: I'm laughing at the comments.

*The Squad is at Jeff’s house*

Melvyn : Ohhhh we each get our own oven?

Jeff: …N-No…

Jeff, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Melvyn , motioning to the kitchen: Three, I thought!

Richard: I see a-

Jeff, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Melvyn : Oh, well I-

Jeff: Hey, wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Jeff, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Hugh: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Bev: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Jeff: Now I’ve discovered more ovens than I thought, we don’t have to roshambo nothin’!

Jeff: I am someone who owns four ovens…

Jeff, louder and way too happy: I am someone… who owns FOUR OVENS…

Mik, pointing to another appliance: Also, the toaster oven!

Jeff:

Melvyn : Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!

Jeff:

Jeff, ecstatic: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS.

Bev: Today, Kelly took my phone, and in five minutes, he sent high resolution close-up photos of Richard to the following people: Jeff, Hugh, Mik, the neighbors, the bank, my accountant, San Diego Blood Bank, and Shake Shack's text bot.

Bev: So, did everyone learn their lesson?

Kelly: No.

Richard: I did not.

Melvyn : I may have actually forgotten one.

Jeff: Also no.

Bev: Oh good, neither did I.

Hugh: *Exhausted sigh*

Hugh: We’re kind of missing something guys.

Kelly: Cohesion?

Richard: Teamwork?

Bev: A general sense of what we’re doing?

Mik: And Jeff is not here.

Kelly: Oh, and that, yeah.

*The Squad is playing Chess*

Hugh: *easily beats everyone because he knows how to play*

Kelly: *doesn’t know the rules, but wins anyway*

Bev: *doesn’t know the rules, and loses*

Mik: *knows the rules, but still loses to those who don’t*

Jeff: Actually, you can’t do that, because I said so.

Melvyn : They named a board game after cheese?

*the Squad at Disneyland, in the teacups*

Richard, Bev, and Melvyn : *spinning a little and talking*

Jeff, Hugh, and Kelly: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

Richard: Did you bring Jeff?

Kelly, gesturing to Hugh: No, but I brought the next best thing.

Richard: Hugh? The next best thing would be Bev.

Hugh: I would be offended, but Bev is freakishly strong.

Melvyn: Hugh, I have a question.

Hugh: What is it, Melvyn?

Melvyn: What color is an orange?

Hugh: Melvyn, you bonehead! Its color is the same as its name. Just like a lemon.

Hugh: Do you take constructive criticism?

Melvyn: Not without crying

Hugh, entering the room: *Sees Melvyn and leaves*

Melvyn, watching Hugh leave: There’s my monthly dose of Hugh…

Hugh: PEASANT. I REQUIRE SUSTENANCE.

Melvyn: You know there are other ways to say you want McDonalds.

Hugh: FOUL PLEBEIAN. YOU DARE SPEAK AGAINST ME—

Melvyn: *sigh* What do you want?

Hugh: Chicken nuggets please.

Hugh: Okay happy campers! If you were a fruit what would you be and why?

Melvyn: I'd be a tomato because no one accepts me as part of the group.

Hugh: ...

Melvyn: ...

Hugh: OKAY HAPPY CAMPERS-

Melvyn: Hugh, how could you possibly have gotten into this much trouble in one day?

Hugh: It... It didn't take me the whole day…

Melvyn, dashing into the room: WHY AREN’T THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?!

Hugh: …What does that even mean?!

Jeff: When you work at lush and a customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese... this happens way more frequently than you think.

Richard: If you stopped literally presenting soap as deli food this wouldn't happen.

Jeff: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese?

Bev: Who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese?

Bev: Jeff, gather the others. We need to have another Hugh-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-him-before-he-hurts-someone convention.

Melvyn: What’s your name?

Jeff, whispering to Bev: Can I tell him my real name?

Bev: No!

Jeff: I’m… Bev.

Bev, whispering to himself: The ONE TIME he gets my name right…

Melvyn: Are pigeons drones?

Hugh: What? No, I'm trying to sleep.

Melvyn: Think about it. How come you've never seen a baby pigeon? And why do you never actually see a pigeon nest? Because they're DRONES!

Hugh: *Crying* Please let me sleep…

Hugh: Do you know the best way to respond to disagreement?

Melvyn: With tears?

Hugh: No.

Melvyn: *tears up*

*The gang when they drop food on the floor*

Jeff : Aw man. *Throws it away*

Bev: Five second rule!

Hugh: Foolish germs, thinking they can stop me!? *Eats it off the floor*

Richard: *Sobs on the floor*

*when a child starts crying in public*

Mik: *tries to make the child laugh*

Kelly: *tries to play a game with the child to make them calm down*

Bev: *gives detailed instructions to the parents*

Melvyn: *cries with the child*

Richard: *ignores the child*

Hugh: *is the reason why the child is crying*

Melvyn: While I'm gone, you're in charge Richard.

Richard: Yes!

Melvyn, whispering to Hugh: You're secretly in charge, but I don't want him to feel bad.

Hugh: Obviously.

Richard: You know what bothers me? Bats. Why can bats fly?

Hugh: Not again!

Richard: No. Seriously, who gave them the right? They're mammals! Mammals walk on land, no exceptions.

Melvyn: Just wait until you hear about whales.

Richard: What now?

Hugh: I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here.

Richard: Melvyn is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Hugh.

Melvyn: I feel like Hugh is the more responsible one of us two though.

Hugh: We are both 70% of each others' impulse control.

Melvyn: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.

Melvyn: Hey, check out my Spongebob umbrella!

*Melvyn opens their umbrella while indoors*

Richard: Melvyn, that’s bad luck…

Melvyn: Chill out, Richard !

Hugh, kicking down the door: WHO SUMMONED ME?!?!

Melvyn and Richard: *screams*

Richard: Hugh isn’t answering my messages.

Melvyn: Allow me.

Richard: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi-

Hugh: *replying to message* Hello.

Melvyn: How did you even get in here?

Hugh: Richard's window! Or, as I like to call it, "Hugh's door"!

Richard: I’m closing the window.

Hugh: If you water water, it grows.

Richard: ...What.

Melvyn: He’s got a point.

Melvyn & Hugh: *Playing video games*

Richard: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning just to play games?

Melvyn: *silence*

Hugh: *silence*

Richard, finally figuring it out: ...You two never went to sleep, did you?

Melvyn & Hugh in shame: Yeah…

Melvyn: Richard won’t come out of his room!

Hugh: Just tell them I said something.

Melvyn: Like what?

Hugh: Anything factually incorrect.

Melvyn, shrugging: If you say so.

Richard, arriving moments later: Did you just say the sun is a PLANET?

Hugh: *Talking to Richard* Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. Welcome to my abode. I'm glad you could join me.

Melvyn: But this is my abode.

Hugh: ...

Hugh: Welcome to my abode, I'm so happy to have you, guest.

Melvyn: Why is Hugh crying?

Richard: He saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-

Hugh: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!

Melvyn: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say-

Hugh: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!

Melvyn: NO, NOT THAT!

Richard: Melvyn learned how to fold origami penguins from Hugh the other day. I told him, “I feel a little bad for the penguins, it’s hot here”, and the next day he put them in the fridge.

Richard: Define “dream”.

Hugh: Dream - the first thing people abandon when they learn how the world works.

Melvyn: That’s too dark!

Richard: Melvyn, I’m afraid.

Melvyn: Just stay close to Hugh.

Richard: That's why I’m afraid.

Melvyn: I’m telling you, my team is competent.

Richard: Melvyn learned how to fold origami penguins from Hugh the other day. I told him, “I feel a little bad for the penguins, it’s hot here”, and the next day he put them in the fridge.

Richard: What are you two arguing about this time?

Melvyn: They’re always using common phrases incorrectly!

Hugh: Cry me a table, Melvyn.

Melvyn: Ladies, gentlemen and Hugh, I want to show you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld!

Richard: A llama?

Melvyn: No.

Richard: A baby llama?

Melvyn: No!

Richard: A baby llama with a little hat on?

Melvyn: NO!

Richard: Melvyn, what are you doing?

Melvyn: Making chocolate pudding.

Richard: It's four in the morning, why are you making chocolate pudding?

Melvyn: Because I've lost control of my life.

Melvyn: Here's your pudding, Hugh.

Hugh: Oh that's okay, I'm not hungry anymore.

Richard: Yesterday, I overheard Melvyn saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Hugh replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

Melvyn: You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.."

Richard: I saw you.

Melvyn: Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Hugh in a turkey costume.

Melvyn: *lifting weights*

Hugh: Wow… He’s so intense!

Richard: I wonder what drives him.

Melvyn, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.

Richard to Melvyn: First rule of battle, little one... don’t ever let them know where you are.

Hugh, shooting out of frame: WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!

Richard: 'Course, there’re other schools of thought.

Hugh: *sneaking in through his window*

Richard: *turning in his chair and flicking the light one* You want to tell me where you've been all night?

Hugh: I was with Melvyn?

Melvyn: *turning in his chair* Wanna try again?

Melvyn: Three of the four elements are represented as types of hockey. Air hockey, ice hockey, and field hockey. Fire hockey needs to be a thing.

Richard: Fire hockey absolutely does NOT need to be a thing.

Hugh: Do you care NOTHING for the balance of the four elements?!

Richard, trying to impress Melvyn: I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all programmed abilities but deleting the supplementary preference architecture.

Hugh: He turned it off and back on again.

Hugh: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Richard?

Richard: No.

Melvyn: I do!

Hugh: I know, Melvyn.

Melvyn: I’m sad.

Hugh: I know, Melvyn.

Hugh: Go ahead, Melvyn. Let it out, cry. If you don't, your tear ducts will get blocked up, and then when you get old, you won't be able to cry.

Richard: Just when we thought it was safe to let you back into the conversation.

Melvyn: Last night I found out Hugh is a sleep talker.

Richard: Oh, really?

Melvyn: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.