#basically it was sort of like a combination of Halloween and Christmas

[makotoscoffee]

had another nightmare about Art the Clown😔

[radiant-flutterbun]

Lair review for Kesten

@heckling-hydrena​

Thank you for the food you get 20 dragons reviewed!

I read your profile bio first so without even looking at your lair I made a beeline for this dragon because HOLLYLEAF! It’s been a long time since I’ve read warrior cats, but with it being my first fandom it holds a special place in my heart. Hollyleaf was my all time favorite (With Jayfeather being a close second). She did not deserve all the pain she suffered. But your dragon does her justice. She looks great and a gaoler was an excellent choice for her! i also appreciate the green bean toes.

Thomas REAL!!!! Ok I promise I’ll get to your actual lore dragons now

“Clan founder who abandoned her clan” Is this your custom progen? Progen or not she’s a very pretty genone! It’s a shame her tert is basic, There’s a lot you can do with purple! I think okapi would look really neat on her. But also basic can be good too!

And I’m going to guess that this is you random progen? If so his colors are pretty nice! Even coral (my least favorite FR color) looks good on him. Probably because it’s mostly covered by his apparel, but what little that shows is balanced out by his rust secondary. And I love the layering you’ve done with his apparel. The mix and match of the different apparel sets looks very cohesive on him!

Omen is another really well dressed dragon! He has a lot of apparel on, but he doesn’t look cluttered at all. He has a nice Western vibe to him.

For being a Wind dragon Tempest sure does have the Shadow dragon vibe. She would blend right in with the glow shrooms. I just love the blend of bright blue and darker purple.

Cicada! I love Cicada for her name alone. She’s covered head to toe in apparel, but that’s ok because the apparel you gave her is perfect. I like how the plague doctor mask resembles the sparrow skull on her shoulder, and then again the vulture skull of the Hazebeacon.

“A jeweler drowning in anger and wine” Mood. Joking, joking. Vendetta is a very lovely dragon. I love how python and morph brings out blues in him. He really looks like a living flame. The familiar matching with the phoenix familair is on point too.

I want to go to the Memento library. I’d probably die reading something I shouldn’t, but ii would be worth it. Now onto Shrike, why is there a wraith in the library? Is that allowed? Are they the reason you shouldn’t read certain books there? Well anyway they’re a neat looking dragon. I like how their accent gives them horns.

Cecilia 100% succeeds at looking like a rich widow. I love her. She’s so elegant. What’s the story behind her being widowed though? Did she kill her partner?

Estelle is elegant AND vibrant. She gives off royalty vibes. The starsilk was a perfect choice for her, and the accent literal makes her glow.

Rye  gives me Halloween vibes. I think it’s mostly the fire swirl eyes. The accent too. They’re a very pretty, though slightly spooky lad.

I like the general aesthetic of your tunnel tab. Moira has to be my favorite dragon of yours in that tab. I really like the cobwebs layered underneath the wingplates. It gives her a look of some ware and tear. She’s ready for a fight, and she will win. I also love that her spider’s name is Charlotte.

Catfish’s eyes are the main reason I chose to review them. They’re just so spooky, I know it’s from the mysterious cowl that you layered under the garb, but I didn’t realize it at first. It’s a clever way of layering to give your dragon a really unique look!

Did somebody say ghost? hello yes any type of undead dragon automatically holds my attention. I like how the skull from Sandstone’s accent is half hidden by his hat. It makes him look very mysterious and spooky!

Egg! Ok I’ll admit what drew me to this dragon was primarily the name. The creature of the deep part is what really hooked me to this dragon. I’m just a sucker for any sort of ‘monster’ or spooky dragon if you havn’t caught on yet. As for what I think of the dragon itself, I like how well the skulking wings blend in, as well as its fins!

Oracle dragons are cool too! Is Eurydice hiding her eyes because her element is Plague and not Water? She’d be a nice fit for a water dragon. Everything else about her is very water-y. I love the mix of the brighter blues such as the lanterns and will o wisp with her darker abyss coloration.

As a retired adventurer Dodola must have a lot of interesting stories! I can imagine hatchlings gathering around her as she weaves and tells tales of her adventures. She has a very serene look about her. As a weaver, her being covered in silk fits.

I love deity dragons! Being the deity of the breeze and harvest sounds pretty cool. But maybe that’s just because i love the fall season. He definitely has a unique look to him. I don’t often see non Christmas themed dragons with red and green,and I rarely see the warrior face masks being used. I like the balance of the red and greens. I just really like the usage of apparel sets not usually used together!

Svirep: A see a Shade creature and I must look. Everything about them is just so GOOD. First of all wine/wine/pink is a great color combo. Second ghost is the best tert. Third the combination of Arcane fest items, the wolf pelt AND the grasp? A perfect combination of eldritch Arcane vibes. I’m digging it.

[discovisiondreams]

Top 15 First Watches of 2020

I’ve never been good at staying current on pop culture, and that became especially pronounced in 2020. A year where most of the anticipated theatrical releases were pushed to VOD (and the price nearly tripled) meant that a lot of flicks I was excited for got added to the end of the “Maybe Someday” watchlist. 

But in this strange year, I did manage to watch 245 movies- and 195 of those were first-time watches. Some were new, only available on the (virtual) festival circuit. Some were Criterion mainstays, films I’m horrified to admit I hadn’t seen before. But this year, when movies cemented themself as my biggest joy, I began to really track what I watched- including a “top 5 first watches of the month” roundup for every month. These top 5s weren’t ranked, and weren’t even based on technical ability, strength of dialogue, or critical acclaim. They were just the 5 I loved the best. 

So without further ado, here are my top 15 of the year- one selected from the top 5 of each month, with some bonus entries thrown in as well. As a general rule, I only included features on this list- I was fortunate enough to catch shorts that streamed at Chattanooga Film Fest, Celebration of Fantastic Fest, and more, but to add them to the running would have made writing this listicle absolutely impossible. 

HONORABLE Honorable Mention: The Holiday. Inspired by the fine folks at Super Yaki, I finally watched this Nancy Meyers classic. Why is it two and a half hours long?! Why is that two and a half hours so significantly lacking in Jack Black?! The scenes that Black is in, though, really shine. This one is going to be a Christmas mainstay in the Disco household (and not just because I spent money on the DVD).

15: The Love Witch (Honorable Mention, April). This one came highly recommended to me by friends of all sorts, and like most of my 2020 first watches, I’m deeply embarrassed that it took me this long to get to it. Upon finally watching it, on a rainy Sunday, I described the movie in general (and the color palette, specifically) as “sumptuous,” which is one of the most complimentary visual descriptors I can bestow upon a movie. The plot felt a little convoluted at times, but I still found The Love Witch incredibly enjoyable and am hoping to explore more of writer-director Anna Biller’s filmography in 2021.

14: The Guest (Honorable Mention, October). The Guest is one of the few movies I watched multiple times this year- and the only one I watched twice in one week. From the sultry industrial soundtrack selections to the numerous visual nods to Halloween III: Season of the Witch, The guest was Extremely My Shit. The casting here is truly tremendous- especially Maika Monroe, who was similarly brilliant in It Follows. Also of note: Lance Reddick, one of my current favourite character actors. 

13: The Fast and The Furious (Honorable Mention, May). 2 Fast 2 Furious (and its bespoke theme song, Act A Fool, by Ludacris) came out when I was in the 6th grade. Do you remember the music and movies that entered the world when you were in 6th grade? Do you have an inexplicable zealous love for them? 2F2F was the only film in the Fast Cinematic Universe I had seen for a long, long time. Then I saw Fate of the Furious. Then I bought the series box set, as a joke?? And then, slowly but then also all at once, I genuinely started to love this franchise. Some of them are truly ridiculous. Some of them are genuinely bad. But the first one? The Fast and The Furious (2001)? Timeless. Point Break updated and adapted for the early-aughts, The Fast and the Furious walked so The Italian Job (2003) could run. Without The Fast and The Furious, Paul Walker would just be “the guy from Tammy and The T-Rex” to millions of casual cinemagoers. The cultural impact of The Fast and The Furious simply cannot be denied!! 

12: Come to Daddy (Top 5, July). Honestly, this is the exact flavor of bonkers bullshit I’ve grown to expect from Elijah Wood, and that is not an indictment. Wood’s genuine love for genre film is evident here, in what can only be described as an uncomfortable film of family, reunion, and redemption. The tense and abrasive first half gives way to a surprisingly relieving wave of violence and exposition in this critically-acclaimed flick. 

11: The Stylist (Top 5, September). The feature-length debut of writer-director Jill Gevargizian, based off her short of the same name, is female-led horror that pays homage to genre mainstays like Maniac and Psycho while still being decidedly singular. Not only shot in Kansas City, but set in Kansas City, The Stylist made my midwestern heart happy. This is one that I really, really would have loved to see in a crowded theater auditorium, were this year a different one. 

10: In The Mouth of Madness (Top 5, March). Despite being the beginning of pandemic awareness, March was a slow month for me, movie-wise (even though it’s not like I had anything else going on??). But I finally made time for this Carpenter classic, and I’m so happy I did. I’ve long been fascinated by stories about stories, and the people who find themselves trapped within those stories, and this one is truly, in the most basic sense of the word, horrifying. Sam Neill proves that he belongs in horror here, making his role in Event Horizon seem like a natural fit. Also a highlight: noted character actor David Warner, best known (to me) as “Billy Zane’s bodyguard guy in Titanic,” who never ever fails to be unsettling. 

9: Profondo Rosso (Top 5, April). Before this year, my only Argento exposure was Suspiria (which is phenomenal), but Deep Red goes off the deep end in all the best ways. The score (by frequent Argento collaborators Goblin) is truly groovy. The number of twists and turns the plot takes is kind of mind-boggling, but also delightful. Daria Nicolodi (RIP)  is at the top of her acting game here. This quickly became one of my beloved background movies- if I opened Shudder and Profondo Rosso was playing on one of their live-streaming channels, it stayed on while I was cleaning or cooking or paying bills. Profondo Rosso is a must-watch for those hoping to get into giallo.

8: Crimson Peak (Top 5, November). This one was definitely not what I was expecting, but it was GORGEOUS. I loved the world immediately (a Del Toro trademark, to be honest). As a longtime Pacific Rim stan, it made my heart happy to see Charlie Hunnam and Burn Gorman reunited under Guillermo Del Toro’s vision. 

7: Palm Springs (Top 5, August). I am not typically a time-travel movie enthusiast- but I am a sucker for witty repartee and Andy Samberg. This one made me ugly-cry, which I should probably be a bit more ashamed to admit. August had a lot of really great first watches, but the Hulu exclusive takes the cake due to its novel premise, some truly heart-wrenching reveals, and the amazing casting (is there anything JK Simmons cant do?). 

6: Scare Package (Top 5, May). Is there any format I love more than the horror anthology? While there have been so many over the years (Creepshow, All the Creatures Were Stirring), Scare Package might be my favourite of them all. A variety of fun and inventive stories combined with a genre-lovers dream of an overarching narrative make this one a must-see- in fact, it was the whole reason I bought a pass to this year’s online version of Chattanooga Film Fest. There’s a cameo here that absolutely knocked my socks off (and continued to do so even on repeat viewings). While the scares here are honestly minimal, Scare Package is a great love letter to the genre at large.

5: Do The Right Thing (Top 5, June). Yes, it took me until 2020 to watch Do The Right Thing for the first time. The palpable tension, the interwoven stories of Bed-Stuy’s residents, all seem timeless. Giancarlo Esposito is, as always, a joy to watch. 

4: Knives Out (Top 5, February). “It’s a Rian Johnson whodunnit, duh,” states the SuperYaki! T-shirt famously worn by Jamie Lee Curtis, star of Knives Out (2019). This one has received worlds of critical acclaim, I truly do not know what I could even hope to add to the conversation. I want more old-school murder mystery cinema.

3: The VelociPastor (Top 5, January). It should be testimonial enough that The VelociPastor beat out Miss Americana, Netflix’s Taylor Swift documentary, as the top pick for January- but in case it isn’t, let me end 2020 the way I began it; by evangelizing the HECK out of this movie. Written and directed by up-and-coming triple-threat (Director/songwriter/prolific cat-photo-poster) Brendan Steere, The VelociPastor is a true love letter to genre cinema, complete with a big wink to the criminally underloved Miami Connection. Alyssa Kempinski shines as Carol, a doctor/lawyer/hooker with a heart of gold. The VelociPastor premiered in 2019 but gained tons of attention in 2020 (thanks in part to YouTube sensation Cody Ko)- attention that it truly deserves. A sequel is rumored to be in the works, but mark my words, anything to come from the imagination of Brendan Steere will be worth a watch. 

2: Dinner in America (Top 5, October). I genuinely feel sorry for the other movies I watched in October (there were a lot) (they were all SO GOOD). Dinner in America, which I caught during the Nightstream hybrid festival, was not at all what I was expecting. While the other features were all very solidly genre flicks, this was…. A comedy? A modern love story?? I’mn honestly still not exactly sure, but I do know I loved every second of it. I laughed. I cried. I threw my hands up in the air exuberantly (in front of my laptop, looking like a true fool). I did not shut up about this movie online for weeks. I told anyone and everyone that Kyle Gallner is the most underrated actor of my generation and I still believe it! Dinner in America, the story of a punk band frontman who unwittingly takes refuge from the police in the home of his biggest fan, was an unexpectedly heartwarming tale of family, young love, and arson. Watch it as soon as you can. 

1: Promising Young Woman (Top 5, December). This last-minute debut from Emerald Fennell, originally scheduled to hit theaters in April of this year, finally made its way to the big screen on Christmas Day, and became the 2020 entry on my annual “Christmas Day Trip to the Theater” list.* Carey Mulligan is an icon and deserves all of the awards for this. The soundtrack is sublime. The casting choices are truly incredible. While I have no doubt that the general themes of the movie will be polarizing, I absolutely loved this one- I sat in my car in the theater parking lot for a WHILE, considering just buying a ticket for the next showtime- that’s how badly I felt like I needed to see it again immediately. I look forward to writing its inevitable Criterion essay.

*Nobody else in rural iowa was interested in seeing this movie at noon on Christmas Day. I’m shocked.

[shadowofthelamp]

Fandom Trades: Tips and Tricks

I’ve been running a secret santa for five years now, and a few people expressed interest in a sort of ‘guide’. It does take some elbow grease to get things up and running, but it’s very rewarding and gets easier as you go. Click the ‘read more’ for some stuff I’ve picked up over the years! It’s a bit general to try and cover anything, but if you have any questions, you can ask! (And if you’ve run one yourself, feel free to add on!)

FAQ: Something that’s a really good idea to have. Here’s the most important stuff on it that would probably be applicable to most trades:

-Basic summary of what the trade will be- some could be fic-only or art-only, or even specific-ship-only. Mine’s general to ‘all sonic sfw content’, but setting guidelines so people know what they’re getting into is a good idea so you won’t have to answer the same question over and over.

-Deadlines. Make them clear. Mine’s easy (Christmas Eve) but depending on what size the gift is expected to be, the time frame can be adjusted. 

-Related, set up rules for if people need to drop out. It happens, so be prepared. (This is why I ask now if people are alright giving a second gift.)

-Any particular rules for your trade- is it sfw or is nsfw acceptable? (In that case, set age limits.) Are there ships that will or won’t be allowed? Is there a punishment for violating the rules or turning things in late, like not being allowed to participate in the trade again?

PROMOTION:

A promo image is a good idea! I’ve been using the same one for a few years that was put together by a friend no longer on tumblr, but images catch people’s eyes faster than a text dump. Make something that’s easy to understand but gets the point across, and the text below should have enough information without overwhelming the casual scroller. 

Space paragraphs often to make it less intimidating. Include links to the FAQ, the sample entry, and the submit box right in the post, as well as a way to contact you- you want things to be as easy as possible for anyone interested. Here’s my promo post.

You also want to start promotion early- I start posting and reblogging my promo a full month before the entry deadline, to give as many people the chance to see it as possible. Any earlier, and they might not care- (who wants to see a Christmas trade post in October when you’re hyped for Halloween?) and any later and you might not get as many participants as you could have. A month-ish is a good time frame. (I also have a tag for the promo post, so people can blacklist it if they aren’t interested and don’t want to see it 15 times.)

SAMPLE ENTRIES:

Also something that’s good to have. Having a template for what you want entries to look like will make sorting easier for you. Here’s mine. It’s a good idea to scout around for other trades to find out what would work for you.

MAKING ASSIGNMENTS:

Next, setting up how to arrange who gets assigned to who. I personally use google spreadsheets. These are the categories I use, feel free to steal them: Username, medium (art, writing, amvs, ect), whether they’ll work with fan characters, what they’d like to receive, what they won’t do (one year I even added ‘if there’s anyone you won’t work with’ so if it’s a fandom with drama, that one might be good), who they’re gifting to, who they’re receiving from, if they’ve submitted their piece yet, if their piece is in the queue, and if they’re alright with doing backup.

I also had a category for if they’ve confirmed they’re still in once assignments were sent out. (Boy, was that one nerve-wracking during the whole tumblr purge debacle of last year- I didn’t know if anybody had just quit tumblr mid-month.)

You will run into people who only want two or three things nobody else wrote on their sheet. If you can’t find even one match, then just put them with someone who had a wide variety on theirs, or who doesn’t have anything on their ‘won’t do’ list. Trying to match with multiple likes is a better bet, though, so encouraging longer lists of what people want makes things easier for you in the long run!

I personally just went in a line- I picked one person, found who they would give a gift to, and then found who THAT person would give a gift to. Rinse and repeat down the list, and it’ll end with everyone paired. I ended up making a closed loop and then sorting the last 8 or so, which was fine. An easy way to check that you didn’t double-classify anyone is control-f and searching names. If their name pops up 3 times, you did it right.

SENDING OUT ASSIGNMENTS:

Just copy-pasting the part of the entry that includes the person’s name and their likes makes this way easier for you over trying to type them out individually. Ask for confirmation that people got their assignments so you don’t have to worry if they missed it.

HOW TO KEEP THINGS ORGANIZED:

My system is this: I’ve mentioned it before, but I utilize a combination of my spreadsheet and the queue function. Let’s say Sally’s making a gift for Jake, Jake’s making a gift for Taylor, and Taylor’s making a gift for Sally. Sally submits her piece of art for Jake. I mark that off on the sheet, so when Taylor submits the gift for Sally, that gift will go in the queue to be posted whenever the deadline is up because she turned hers in already.

This keeps people motivated to complete their parts of the trade, since they won’t get their gifts until they do. If someone drops out, tell the person making the gift for them- if you’re lucky, they can rework what they have for the person that the drop-out was supposed to make something for, but if not, bring in someone who didn’t mind making a second gift. Person making the gift for the dropout can choose if they want to continue making it or not- if it’s mostly done and not a fan-character, they can just post it on their own blog unrelated to the trade. 

It’s also a good idea to have a ‘hub’ where things are posted. If it’s a fic trade, ao3 has a function specifically for this, but I’ve found having things submitted directly to you makes it a million times easier to keep track of who’s finished their pieces, as well as keeping things ‘secret’ until the big day. (People have gotten confused or excited and posted early before.)

If people want to post elsewhere after it’s posted on the main hub, set your own rules- I say it’s fine as long as it links back to the blog and links the giftee, particularly if it involves fancharacters. You make your own judgement.  

BE PATIENT:

This is one that’s very important. Some people don’t check the FAQ, and some people are going to be new, asking questions that you swear you’ve answered before or thought would be obvious. They generally just want to know, so take a deep breath. They don’t know they’re the fifth person to ask that question. Answer politely, or steer them towards the FAQ. (Running the same event year after year, you run into this a lot- they’re just new, be nice!)

Don’t start an event that you expect to have plenty of people participating if you aren’t prepared to hear the same questions a couple of times. Things might get a little annoying- take a step back for a few minutes, cool off, but try to remain professional. You signed up for this. For me, it’s always worth it to see how happy people are about their gifts, but know yourself and your limits- running a themed week where people post art at their own pace is less hassle, so you could try that if you don’t feel up to organizing a full trade! 

If you can have a friend to bounce things off of, that can help too, but don’t use them as just a dumping ground. Tumblr allows multiple ‘mods’ on a blogs, so splitting work can make things easier, particularly if it’s your first run doing something like this. I had a friend who helped me the first few years before leaving tumblr. Be sure you trust the person, though! They’ll be able to edit posts and delete submissions, so if any drama happens, beware. (This never happened to me, but it doesn’t hurt to be careful.)

TAGGING:

Add tags to the submission box. I don’t know why this took me four years to think of, but it saved me a lot of time last year. If it’s a trade that covers an entire fandom and dozens of ships, you can add the shipping tags as they come in, but adding the ten or so most popular character tags helps a lot. If it’s going to involve potentially triggering content, common trigger tags are a good idea too. (A Halloween trade might need this, for example, or one that involves nsfw content.)

PEOPLE TURNING THINGS IN LAST MINUTE:

It’s going to happen. I think one year I was panicking on the 23rd because I only had half the gifts, and all but one had been turned in by the time I went to bed on the 24th. People procrastinate- if you get in most of the gifts ahead of time, you can thank your lucky stars. Try not to stress over it, but feel free to post reminders in the week before/days leading up to the deadline. My family travels around the holidays a lot, and I managed to get everything queued up properly through airport and hotel wifi more than one year, so you’ll be just fine if you try and stay calm.

OTHER/GENERAL:

It’s absolutely worth it, in my opinion- I’ve been doing this for years for a reason. My favorite thing is knowing I’ve done something that made others happy. Going through all the excited responses Christmas morning is equal or above getting presents from my family, because I know it’s on some level because of me facilitating the trade in the first place. I hear over and over this is something people look forward to, and it genuinely warms my heart. 

It might take a few years to get established, but if you find a niche (there was a blog called sonic secret santa, but it hadn’t been updated in years) you might be surprised how fast you can gather people! I like seeing people show up year after year, it’s how I know I’m doing something right.

It is definitely work, and there is stress involved, (especially if people drop out or don’t send in their gifts on time) but the benefits outweigh the negatives, I say. People are generally understanding if there’s a problem, as long as you make it known you’re working on it.

You have to commit to the responsibility if you do this- people who are making gifts are putting their trust in you that you’ll keep things organized and they’ll get something for the gift they’re giving. You can’t guarantee everything will run exactly as planned, but you can be as transparent as possible when you hit a bump- ‘I’m sorry, but your person said they’ll be late because they were having internet problems/personal life issues and is doing their best’ is going to get a lot better of a response than radio silence. Be sympathetic, but be firm on the rules if need be.

I hope this helped a bit, and thanks for reading!

[bucketogrubsarchive]

Quick Fire Facts about the muses!

(Editor Beezie here aka the mun: I will be doing small quick fires of the muses of this blog. This will include upcoming ones too. Just a few four headcanon facts about the guys.These are the official headcanon of the fantrolls in this blog. There is more facts about the trolls but these are the only facts I can tell you without spoiling their whole backstories. If you wish to know more about the mueses please send in a ask and find out. )

Calice Wahron 

.Calice makes her own paints at home by mixing flowers,precious stones and clay hence the name dirt paintings or rivercolors.

 Calice is highly allergic to salt water, because of her genetic mutation of an olive with sea dweller gills and fins.

 Her horns are based off the clovers of the bermuda buttercup or the buttercup oxalis that grow in winter months in the state I’m in and they’re my favorite flower.  While her design is slightly based on the book Winds in the willow. 

 Calice’s sign is the mun’s homestuck zodiac sign. 

Eponia Hompis 

 Eponia was originally a ship baby between two canon characters that the mun no longer ships. But still show a little bit of the ship what she was formally was once in a while whenever interacting with others or in rps.

 Yes the mun is fully aware she’s been writing Eponia’s name like this ‘Epoina’ she’s just too lazy to fix it now. 

Eponia’s current  design was originally adopt  for a flower theme of  trolls. Her flower  being irises. But I fell in love with her design and kept her. 

Eponia can make extremely fluffy jiggly  grubcakes aka pancakes which she often sees as a failure. 

Kimaoi Midria

Like Eponia Kimaoi was going to be a grubling adoption, her design was a bronze grub with vitiligo and rabbit tail. But I decided to scrap the bunny tail and keep Kimaoi for myself.

 Kimaoi’s name is the combination of kimo kawaii meaning and please correct me if I am wrong in the comments. It looks a little creepy but cute.

 If you guys hadn’t noticed Kimaoi had a few scars on her legs, meaning she had self harmed herself in the past, due to having dealt with depression and had trauma with abuse. And still recovering at her own pace to self love again.

Like the words for her name, Kimaoi loves everything spooky and scary. Basically halloween is her Christmas. She loves it and finds what we see as big scary monsters to Kimi she sees puppy. ( The mun is no better if facing monsters or dinosaurs and willing to call them puppies)

Kotton Poplus

Kotton is at this moment is one of two  out of the ask group that has their pale quadrant filled.

Kotton was suppose to be a ship baby from two canon characters but got scrapped and the mun doesn’t ship anymore. But like Epoina, it's hinted who they were who turned Kotton into a clown loving puffball who doesn’t know too much of the rules between limes and purples.

 Kotton’s name is the combination of Kitten and Cotton Candy, Hence why she appears to be extremely hyper and overly positive to some situations. 

Kotton and her morial are the youngest of the adults trolls, both being 8.77 aka 19 years old. And yes she is the party girl of the cast.

Mariot Lotora

Mariot is the only one out of the group at this moment who has their red quadrant filled and is the mama of Macleo.

 Mariot’s name is the combination of two Agatha Christie's characters miss Marple and Hercules Poirot.

Mariot had gone through probably the most design changes out of the group currently. 

Is the main mom friend of the group to make sure the younger jades in the caverns are not sneaking off or bringing something back to the caverns. This goes double with the ask cast too.

Mairuz Panais 

 Mairzu is one of my oldest oc characters, not by age but who came first in the large group when being created. he, Nefiri and Rafina were the big ogs before everyone else was created.  And went through a massive design and character change before making his appearance on the blog. 

Mairzu’s name is a play on words of the italian almond  candy marzipan.

Whenever Mairzu becomes scared or excited he would start to smell like someone’s favorite candy for the whole day. This is from an inside joke me and a friend have about Mairzu due to his namesake.  

Whenever Mairzu becomes flustered or has a crush on someone will do the goofy’s very loudly hyuck. He is very embarrassed about it.

Nefiri Bastia

Nefiri is from a very long line of huntresses/tribe leaders. Where her traditions is where both eggs from blackrom and redrom are at risk from the other mate in the chief's black and red quadrant. Nefiri’s egg is the only known recorded redrom egg in the bloodline.  

Nefiri is the old lost friend of @ask-swagger-dagger-trolls’s oc Jamari, she is not part of his quadrant. She did had  two of her quadrants filled before losing them to a rival tribe forcing her into exile.  Making her quadrants empty.

 If she really likes you, Nefiri will lick your cheek or rub her head against you much like how a big cat greets their keeper. Or full on big cat hug which she tends to forget how strong she is at times. And if Nef has red feelings to someone she will bring dead animals and extremely affectionate to them. 

Nefiri does not know how modern society works at all. If you put her in a city setting, she will become extremely tense and nervous about it. Hell she is kinda the reason if someone has some sort of new tech and its someone she’s close to. Yeah.. She’ll see it as a threat and will destroy it. 

Nixiie Apilon 

 Nixiie has a babyface, meaning she is easily mistaken to be younger than her actual age. She is 10.62 aka 23 in human years at this moment since her wiggling day is in the spring.

To Nixiie she sees any jade in caverns she’s in as family/teachers. For example @princeofdoomrps Viktor, Nixiie calls him a teacher if she knows he is not part of her cavern while with @faithlines ‘s Lacuna she is not sure in that department so big sister teacher. And feels extremely guilty if a higher authority jade sees her and she thinks she’s in trouble like anyone of us would towards our own family,teachers or bosses fearing we will be punished or be a disappointment to them.

Nixiie’s name is the combination of Pixie and Nymph two magical creatures of folklore and her horns and wings are based off of the lunar moth. But went through a lot of design changes before taking in another grub adopt and turn it into Nixiie today. And like a moth to a flame if Nixiie sees something new or is extremely excited she will go after it.  

Nixiie doesn't eat meat, she will drink troll blood but will not touch anything that is made from an animal. She’s pretty much the vegan girl of the group.

Pohkin Boines 

Pohkin wears a corset under her clothes and will deny it if someone asks if she does wear it. This goes double for the weave. And bust size. 

Pohkin was held to a high standard by her lusus when being raised  to become a regel and lady of high blood society  and look down at her fellow low caste even in her own. 

Pohkin carries around a very sharp and large syringe and will use it on anyone she either deems as a riff raff or a threat. However she’s not that strong. Cunning yes, but has no muscles. 

Pohkin is at this moment tends to scare the mun and bullies me often whenever something silly comes her way. For example being put in an outfit like idk a chicken suit or something that shows way too much skin.

Rafina Uymumi

 Rafina is a run away troll, to get away from her overly controlling lusus. She ran away and joined the circus sort of speak.

She is extremely flexible, able to bend and  walk on her hands with ease and stay that way for a while before standing on her feet again. 

Originally Rafina was going to be a shut in underwater  writer for her blog for fantasy stories, but I didn’t think that would be a good fit for her. I wanted to give her the little mermaid story where Ariel wanted to go to the human world for her own means and not for a prince. But, still writes just for herself and refuse to show it to anyone.

 Rafina’s performances either contains  acrobatics gymnastics,belly dances or pole dances. Depending what’s on the line up or who’s the audience for the evening.

[heamarvel]

Holiday Movie Challenge FAQ

(This is a mirror post of our blog’s page, kept so mobile users can access the info much more readily. Mod juuls is working on getting this ready, so give her some time to get the links up and running.)

Take a look at these pages! They may have the answer you’re looking for: Event Info Page | Prompts and Badges List

If not, this page may have the answer! We are constantly adding to it, we promise.

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Q: Can we write about a holiday that is not Christmas-related, or even not winter-related? (ex: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, Yule, Easter, Passover, many other holidays both religious and secular.)

A: Absolutely! The prompts are mostly Christmas-themed because holiday movies have a bit of a niche, but we do not! Feel free to write about any holiday you wish.

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Q: What does ‘no underage’ mean?

A: No explicit scenes between two underage (18, in this case) characters. No relationship at all between an underage character and an adult. If your character(s) are underage, however, feel free to age them up!

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Q: I would like to write Rollins/Rumlow (or other Hydra characters) but you say no Nazis… can I write their ship as long as they’re not Nazis in it?

A: Short answer, yes. Slightly longer is that as long as there’s no Hydra Trash Party themes, and they’re not Nazis or Hydra in the fic, and as long as it is in keeping with the holiday movie and Happily Ever After themes, then yeah we’re okay with that!

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Q: Does this event include Marvel _____?

A: Yup! All Marvel! X-Men, MCU, Ultimates, 616, 3490, Deadpool, any Spider-Man movies, Marvel TV of all sorts, uh…. you name it and it’s Marvel, have at it!

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Q: How will the mods know which badges to award? Are you guys reading all of them?!

A: Well, our Pepper (@betheflame) plans on doing just that, but we have a back-up plan just in case we find her “off” button. There will be a Google Form made available to you once the collection opens - you’ll tell us what badges your work qualifies for.

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Q: Can I write more than one prompt?

A: You can create as many works as you want! We discourage combining prompts, but use the badges to get as creative as you want with each and every prompt. Remember the minimums exist for each category.

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Q: I really love a movie on Netflix/Lifetime/Hulu/Amazon/A Hallmark One Not Listed. Can I write that instead?

A: No. Not for this challenge for this year. We’ll open it up a bit more broadly next year - but this year? The 15 prompts are the prompts that qualify you for the challenge.

Take the prompts, use the badges, get as creative as you possibly can and we can’t wait to see the fruits of your labor. But please stick with the prompts provided.

(Also, as one of our mods said, all we’re passing out is badges and an Ao3 collection, so please don’t let us stifle your creativity. If your muse is demanding you take a Netflix movie and re-write it with Clint and Phil - have at it!)

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Q: Can I write OT3 or more?

A: Yes! Please, the mod team especially loves poly!

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Q: Can I write Reader Insert?

A: Totally! Just make sure at least one of the main characters in the pair/poly is a Marvel character and you’re golden! We have a mod who loves Reader fic.

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Q: Do I have to use a prompt? Can it just be Happily Ever After-inspired?

A: Yep, I’m afraid so. We decided on a set prompt list to challenge the community, and to see how different the fics will end up written by different authors, written for different ships, with different badges for different fic elements drawing them even further apart in similarity. But that doesn’t mean you can’t interpret the prompt however you wish, and/or make it a small element of the bigger plot. These are our mischievous Marvel characters, after all!

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Q: Should we wait until November 1st to start posting?

A: Yep! We’d like to hold back the content until the posting period (Nov 1 to Dec 24) so that no one feels like they’re behind.

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Q: What are the ‘Mod Requests’ badges?

A: The mod requests are basically the “mod’s choice” badges. Each mod picked an item they really wanted to see in fics, and we’re giving out badges for people doing those things! Basically, they’re more tropes that can earn badges (and a way to give a little love to our hard-working mods).

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Q: Can I write more than one fic/use more than one prompt?

A: You can write more than one fic, but we ask you to keep it one prompt per fic, no mixing and merging.

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Q: Can I write this as a chaptered fic or fic in a series?

A: It can be multiple chapters or a series (though one work, multiple chapters is best for the Happily Ever After resolution) just as long as a complete story with a HEA is posted before December 24th. There can be sequels after that time, as long as we get a complete story before the due date. :)

Please, though, message us if there might be issues with this! We’re willing to work with you, if you’re willing to work with us! :D

~*~

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #212

“counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums.”

Have you ever fired a gun? No. Have you ever tried archery? No. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? A day or so. Do you have any scars? Whew, a lot. I scar easily tbh, though me being so so pale probably contributes to making them more noticeable. Are you a good judge of character? I don't really know. I think so, but then again I'm very very paranoid when meeting new people and look TOO deep into how I expect someone to be. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Just British. What is your favorite accent? British generally, but I find French sooo pretty with girls, then Scottish is cool. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? I have no clue. Probably my leather boots. Can you curl your tongue? Yes, surprisingly... I just tried and I can with the slight curve in my tongue ring. Most used phrased? Probably "what a mood" or something like that lmao. Most used word? Besides the words in most sentences, I'm sure it's probably "fuck." How long does it take for you to get ready? Am I taking a shower? Then just like... less than 20 minutes. Without a shower, it's like less than ten minutes. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Both. Can you name all 50 states of America? No. I'm a sad American. Have you ever started a rumor? No. How fast can you type? I took a test awhile back for a job application purpose and it's 72 or so wpm. How fast can you run? I can tell you NOT FAST without even trying. Color of your bedspread? Navy and black. Have you ever had a really bad haircut? I don't think so. What brand, color, and type is your favorite eyeliner? I don't have one. Do you wear eyeliner? If I ever wear makeup, that's the one thing I will wear. Was there ever a time in your life when you couldn’t cry? Yes, probably early 2017. I was so numb until I started to "feel" recovery. Even as I got better, I had a hard time crying. Last year was a pretty "I can't cry"-type time, too. What’s your favorite type of yogurt? Not a fan of yogurt. What are your favorite type of calendars? I don't have one? Do you have a full-length mirror? Yes. Do you have a piggy bank? No. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? No. What’s your favorite DIY crafts YouTube channel? I don't watch DIY crafts. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? At my current age, bottom. What kind of popcorn is your favorite? Probably caramel corn. But buttery and salty is great too. Does your town have a big fountain in it? No. What is your town known for? Probably nothing. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? If yes, what is it? Hm. That's a long ways off, idk. All I know is it'd be great if Sara was here. And then there's the yearly urge to get a tattoo that day lmao. What is the last new thing you discovered that was really good? I think The Shining. Watched it for the first time and loved it. What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? Hey could I have money right now. Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? If so, what? English/Language Arts. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. What is the best hairstyle you’ve ever had? I love what I currently have. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? Dyed hair. Do you think your look better with curly hair or straight hair? Straight. Do you have bangs? No. What’s your favorite rock band? I'd say Marilyn Manson. (I'm excluding metal, 'cuz that's a different story.) Who’s your favorite country singer? I don't mind Tim McGraw. Did you try the unicorn frappuccino, and if yes, were you a fan? I didn't. When you look at your baby pictures, do you recognize yourself? Actual baby pictures, usually no. Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? Yes; I was born dirty blonde. Do you wear matching socks? Yeah. Do you decorate for Halloween? We don't really anymore. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Just swim around, relax. Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? I think so. What color(s) eyeshadow do you wear the most? Only ever black. Do you see yourself as a sensitive person? I'm extremely sensitive. Do you still leave/receive voicemails? Yes. Are you a festive person? Do you enjoy holidays? I'm not very festive, no. The only holidays that really excite me are Halloween and Christmas. What is your favorite subject to learn about? Meerkats. You’re feeling down - do you listen to sad music or happy? Sad. It usually comforts me/makes me feel less alone. Even though I might cry. Is there a song or artist that you secretly enjoy, but don’t want to enjoy? I like a decent number of Blood On The Dancefloor songs. Has your parents' taste in music in any way affected what you like? Yes. When I started getting into rock naturally, I began listening to my mom's CDs, and that's when metal stole my heart. You’re looking for some new music - what’s your preferred way to discover? YouTube recommendations. Do you still own any CD’s/records/tapes? Mom has CDs. She may or may not have tapes from when my sisters and I were really young for memory's sake; we had a lot of kid ones, like Raffi. Do you ever hear a new song on TV that you like and find it? When I watched TV, yeah, rarely. Do you watch the news? No. What about the weather channel? No. What’s your favorite holiday movie? Maybe Hocus Pocus. How do you feel about adult cartoons? I don't have an opinion. Do you still watch shows that you grew up watching? No. What about movies that you grew up with? Yeah. Do you identify with any organized religion? No. If so - is it how you were raised, or have you found your own? I was raised Catholic, grew to simply a Christian, then left that behind a year or more ago. Have you ever protested or been on strike? Does not eating at Chick-fil-a count as some kind of "protest?" That place was hard to let go of, but nah man, I'm not supporting your business when your higher-ups contribute to anti-LGBT efforts and such. Is gun control necessary or no? Some degree of control absolutely is. Are you happy with the political state where you reside? HAHA no. Should abstinence or sex education be taught in schools? Education, but I do believe in heavily advising smart sexual decisions such as not just doing it with just anyone. Have you read the book 13 Reasons Why or watched the show? I read the book. Should shows like this be available to everyone or could it be a trigger? Fuck the show. Do you like animals? Of course. What is your absolute favorite food? Probably pizza. Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? You don't know the half of it. I literally cried the first and last day of my last job because I couldn't find the gloves when I needed to. So yeah, I take meds, but I don't think either do very much, honestly. Who was the last person you felt you were wasting your time on? A former best friend. I cared when she didn't. One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have? I never in a million years thought I was going to have a bad - traumatic - breakup when I was kid because I "knew who to pick." I was so sure. What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head? The guy who helped in basic training with me saying "well that was a waste of my time" when my co-worker told him what was going on with me. Literally, it won't get out of my head. If a random person were to look through the photos on your phone, is there anything you’d be embarrassed about? lmao I have Mark wallpapers stored, my friend. Don't find my collection. How often do you have late nights out? Never. Ever. Do you currently have any mixed feelings about someone? As far as friendships go, yes. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? No no no no no. I want a job to get OUT of my house. I know I'd be less productive, too. What were you like in middle school? Weird and probably annoying. If you could give one charity a million dollars, what charity would you donate money to? I'm not sure. I'd have to look more into ones with causes I'm passionate about. Most likely something about conservation. Would you ever be an organ donor? I am. Which do you think is harder: realizing you haven’t changed or realizing you have? The former. Is there something that you really need to do, but can’t seem to get motivated to do it? Plenty of things. Have you ever won some sort of prize or prize package from a contest? What did you win? Yeah, a few. I don't remember most; I only really remember the Silent Hill one I've mentioned before. What is something you’re surprised hasn’t been invented yet? A cure for cancer, I guess? I dunno. Most disturbing movie you have ever seen? Probably The Entity. Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it? lol by golly do I wish. I don't fucking know if I'll achieve any. What one thing has always bothered you, but seems to bother no one else? I get legitimately bothered by people going in/out the wrong door. Do you still own a VCR and VHS tapes? No. What’s your favorite color gummy bear? I don't care. What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex’s body? Shoulder blades why do I love shoulder blades????? Where do you sing the most, in the car or the shower? I dunno. Ever hurt yourself playing Wii? Probably. Do you have freckles? Not on my face. I did as a kid though. Weird. How many languages can you say “Hello” in? Three. What’s the last video game you played? So not computer? I believe... The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon? Or Shadow of the Colossus. I don't remember. Can you do the alphabet in sign language? No. Do you like your feet? I don't like feet to begin with, and I don't like mine. My feet are so dry and callused to HELL from when I used to walk all the time. I need to see a doctor to get rid of the worst ones on my toes honestly because they annoy the fuck out of me because ugly. Candles or incense? Incense. Reason behind the last time you laughed until you cried? I don't remember. Are you one who brags a lot? I don't have anything to brag about. Do you face your problems head on or do you run away from them? Depends on the problem, I guess... What is the latest you’ve stayed out before? I remember there was one night in particular with Jason where he dropped me off like... really late. Around 3 or later in the morning. I don't remember why I got home so late. Are you confrontational? AVOID! AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! COSTS! Do you stand your ground? Usually. Who do you know without a doubt cares about you? Mom, Sara, and Dad. Have you ever caught yourself talking in your sleep? For the past year and more, I've started sleep talking frequently... and yeah, I've woken up in the middle of doing it plenty of times. Did you do anything stupid/anything you regret today? I probably do something stupid every day. Little things like procrastinate on everything are certainties. Have you ever switched primary care doctors? Do not. Get me FUCKING started. On the doctor who kept me on a medication that resulted in gaining like 150 pounds and blaming it all on me. Yeah, I switched. If yes, what was the reason? lol see above. Do you ever sleep on your bedroom floor just for fun? God no. Sleeping on the floor is a last resort. Are you worried about your current financial situation? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Do you know anyone who’s had a stillbirth? Probably. Who was the last person you know (or that you know of) that died? Uhhh I'm not sure. Possibly the old lady Mom watched. Do you need a new phone? Desperately. Would you rather get a big tattoo or small tattoo? A big one. Do you identify as a supernatural being..i.e., unicorn, alien, goddess…? Uh no. What’s one thing you are tired of seeing or hearing about on Facebook? Guys I don't understand the "me and the boys" meme laskdfjalwier make it go away. What theme do you want for your wedding? Halloween-ish. What theme would you choose for a baby’s nursery? Idk. I don't want kids, so this isn't something I think about. What color would you paint a baby girl’s nursery? Pastel pink. Not for stereotypical reasons, my favorite color just happens to be pink and I think it's cute for a baby. Does your first crush know that he/she was your first crush? No. Which family member did you get your height from? Mom and I are pretty much the same height. Do you like your butt? NO I have a pancake ass. Who was the last friend of yours to have a baby, and what’s the baby’s name? An old high school friend recently had a baby named Jaspen. Are all of your friends having babies right now? I think most of my old friends have at least one kid by now. Do you know anyone who’s given birth to twins? Yes. Growing up, did you listen to country music? Yes, when my older sister started controlling the radio. Do you have a gazebo at your house? No. Where were you going the first time you rode a plane? Ohio or Michigan. Do you like tomatoes? Not really, no. The only time I ever have was fresh ones with bacon and light mayo on a sandwich. What’s your favorite brand of bottled water? Essentia. Do you have any ceramic animals in your house or outside? Why is there a small dolphin in the corner of our back yard?????? What annoys you more: slow talkers or slow walkers? Slow walkers. Have you ever been to a night club? No. If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Something about being prone to anxiety, I guess. Do you believe in reincarnation? No. Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? Not in the slightest. What is your MBTI personality type? INFP Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No. Is the ocean or sky prettier? Sky. Are you androgynous? No. Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? No. Well I kiss my niece's and nephew's cheeks when telling them bye, but they're the only ones. What is the youngest age you can remember back to? I have at least one memory from when I was two. Did you wear your hair in a ponytail today? It's too short for that. What job would you NEVER take, even as a last resort? Slaughterhouse worker was the first thing to come to mind. If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it on your own? No. What was the shittiest hotel you’ve ever stayed at and why? I don't think I've stayed in a bad one... What was the first kind of alcohol you ever tasted? A daiquiri. Do you use any styling products on your hair? No. Do you have a favorite local band? Who are they? No. What’s the most confusing book you ever read? Even though it's my favorite book, Johnny Got His Gun takes the cake here. The way it's written is very confusing, though I think I get why Trumbo chose such a style. Do you like your personality? I like some things, hate others. Are your legs long or short? I'd say they're proportional to the rest of my body. How many phobias do you have? A lot. Where do you think your last ex is right now? He's probably sleeping since he works 3rd shift. What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve seen in the last week? I don't know. Probably the sky during a car ride or something. Who was the last person to comfort you as you cried? My mom. When was the last time you felt like throwing up? A week ago or so when I had an anxiety attack the night before my first day of work. I got myself so worked up. Have you ever had to wear a hairnet? For the two fucking hours I lasted at my last job lmao. Do you use the Facebook chat often? No. Do you own a robe? What color is it? Nope. Who ended your last relationship? Me. Do you still remember your first kiss? Yeah. Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now? Yeah, other than being long-distance. How many kids do you want to have? None. Have you ever purposely given someone the wrong number? No. Who’s the last person you smoked weed with? I haven't. Though by this point in my life, I wish NC would catch up with the times and legalize it medicinally because I've given up enough to turn to that for my anxiety. Who was the last person you talked to, other than family? My old VR coach. When was the last time you flew in a plane? Last December. Is there a girl you absolutely can not stand? No. At least not off the top of my head. Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? No, I was that person lmao. Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? Yes. Say your last ex walks up to you and hugs you, what do you say? We're still friends, so. At the current time, a random hug from him would probably make me cry though because he's not very affectionate and I haven't been stable for days. I need the comfort alsdjfakljwer Who was the last baby you held? It's probably been like a year since I've held a baby when I was still friends with Colleen. But y'all my sister is pregnant & next year GUESS WHO I'M HOLDING. Do you have any siblings that moved away to college? She did, but she's long since graduated. Who was the last person who cried around you? I'm sure it was Mom. What was the last thing you cried about? My life. Who’s the last guy to give you roses? Tyler. Would you rather have nice eyes or nice lips/smile? Smile, I suppose. Do you have a common first name? Yes. Do you like your middle name or your first name more? My first, I guess. Do you wear more rings or necklaces? I always have a ring on. Have you ever been engaged? No. Can you see your veins through your skin? In some areas. Did your parents let you have pets when you were a kid? Yes. Do you like spicy chips? Yes. What band was on the last band t-shirt you wore? Metallica. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Yes. Have you ever owned or known someone who owned a black cat? Both. Who scheduled your last doctor visit? My mom. I don't drive, so she drives me around, and so things have to fit into her busy schedule. So she just does it. Do you have any holiday themed socks? True shit, I think most of mine are, lmao... Like you know, socks are a common gift on Christmas. What’s the last funny movie you watched? Idr. Can you remember your parents’ birthdays? Yes. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? I'd say it depends on the person, but in general, I suppose snakebites? What brand of hair dye do you prefer to use? Splat is the only brand that has ever stuck to my hair. Lasted months. Did/do you ride the bus to and from school? Only Jason's junior and senior years sometimes to go to his house. Are you any good at applying make up? No. I have tremors in my hands, and it makes it an absolute nightmare. Are you someone who likes to make simple things difficult? I certainly don't try to, but I somehow always end up doing it. What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? Rolls and honey ham. And that is /literally/ it. I don't like Thanksgiving food. Do you like Techno music? Yeah. Is your second toe longer than your big toe? They're like the exact same length. Do you say "merry Christmas" or "happy holidays?" The former. Who do you talk to on the phone most often? Mom. What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to? I've only ever been to Alice Cooper, but it was great. I'm supposed to be seeing Ozzy plus supposedly Judas Priest and Megadeth (you're not allowed to die, Dave) next year, and that. That will be. My preview into Heaven. I will sob. How did you meet your best friend? Over YouTube via the meerkat RP community. Do you need money to be happy? Try living really poor and come back to me claiming money can't ever buy happiness. What is something you do well? Dig way, way too deep into absolutely anything and everything. What’s a good idea you’ve had recently? I've started to count calories on top of fasting. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Ahhhhh, cinnamon rolls. How far in advance do you prefer to plan? For most things, a few days or a week. Bigger things, maybe like a month+? How many slices of pizza do you usually eat? 2-3, depending on my appetite. Would you like to live in a different country? If so which one? I wouldn't move there, not with all my family and such here, but I think living in Canada would be better sometimes. Do you prefer the aisle, middle, or window seat on a plane? I strongly prefer the window seat; I've found that if I'm not looking out the window and the plane changes altitude or direction (takeoff is the worst), I get VERY dizzy. I usually always wind up in the middle seat, and there and in the aisle seat, I have to close my eyes at times like those. What’s your favorite song from a movie? As far as original songs, probably "Be Prepared" from The Lion King. A goddamn beat. What’s your favorite city? I haven't been to many. Idk. Who was the last person to ask you to hang out? Did you agree to hang out with them? Hell, I have no idea. Is there a food that you eat basically every day? What food is that? I usually have a granola bar as a snack or even just a meal in place of breakfast or lunch. Is there a food you eat that others find weird or gross? I grew up sometimes eating waffles with peanut butter and syrup as Dad loved it. It's definitely different, but it's absolutely delicious. What was the last fast food restaurant you went to? Did you get anything? If so, what? I think Sonic? I got a double bacon cheeseburger. I fell in love with their burgers. Can you remember the first video game you ever played? What about your first video gaming system? I'm not sure, but it was probably Spyro The Dragon. My first gaming system was a PS1. The last video game you played - did you play alone or with someone else? Alone. If there is a disc in your computer, what disc is it? There isn't one. Do you shut down your computer every time after you use it, or do you leave it on? I leave it on. Do you know anyone who has ever been in a movie? Who and what movie were they in? What was their part? No. Describe the last shirt you saw that you really liked. Where did you see it? Omg I saw this shirt online of a really cool demonic pig that said something like "Save the animals, eat humans." It was actually a vegan shirt, but I nevertheless wanted it, lol. I support veganism, but yeah... I could never do it. But anyway, it was too expensive. Do you live in a very diverse community? Not really, no. Do you know anyone who has had salmonella? Did you ever have it yourself? What about e-coli? No; no; no. When was the last time you brought a pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? Sigh. We put Cali down. Something ruptured in her abdomen and there was also a mass on her liver or gallbladder, and her abdomen was filling with blood. It compressed her lungs so much she could barely breathe. Surgery was extremely expensive, but more importantly, we were told it likely wouldn't save her. Do you get motion sick easily? If so, does it prevent you from going on any rides at amusement parks? I've never gotten motion sickness, but I don't risk that shit with amusement park rides or boats out at sea. I'm terrified of vomiting. Do you have any bug bites on you right now? If so, where? No. Have you ever made your way through a corn maze? No. Name something that you used to do with your family that you no longer do with them or at all? Easter egg painting. Have you seen Inception yet? Thoughts on that movie? I never saw it.

[signutai]

stinger/max for the ship ask? thx

Who hogs the duvet: Max. Stinger lets him; he gets warm really easily and prefers to sprawl out without a blanket.

Who texts/rings to check how their day is going: Neither of them, really. If something urgent comes up, they’ll call/text the other to let them know, or if one of them is going through a rough patch they’ll check in with each other just to be sure they’re doing alright, but on the average day they prefer to save that stuff for when they can talk face-to-face.

Who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts: Stinger. Being a farm boy with limited money and also a whole slew of siblings to get gifts for, he’s perfected the art of thoughtful, creative gifting.

Who gets up first in the morning: Stinger. He grew up on a farm where getting up early was just how things were done, and he also needs the extra time to get into his hero outfit. Max gets up shortly after, though.

Who suggests new things in bed: Stinger never stops suggesting new things to try in bed…

Who cries at movies: They both do.

Who gives unprompted messages: Stinger. If something pops into his head, he has to share it with someone, and that someone is usually his boyfriend.

How they are when they’re sick: Max, for the most part, handles illness with grace and a stiff upper lip. Stinger flops around the house and carries on like he’s dying over a simple cold.

Who gets jealous easiest: Neither of them are especially jealous people. Max has just seen too much shit for anything to bother him anymore, and Stinger is a firm believer in open and honest communication, so they rarely run into issues like that.

Who collects something unusual: Stinger collects his own merchandise. And collects “adopted” family members. His poor parents don’t even know which of their children they did and didn’t actually give birth to at this point.

Who takes the longest to get ready: Stinger. Have you seen what he wears? Have you seen his hair? It takes a long time for him to make his signature look perfect every morning. (Though, Max’s hair also takes a fair amount of time to get it to do…that.)

Who is the tidiest and organized: Both! They keep their belongings and living spaces very tidy without even needing to nag each other about it. If the occasional mess is made (i.e. them coming home after a long day of work and just throwing their stuff wherever before collapsing in bed), it gets cleaned up as soon as possible. They also tend to have a lot of guests (and “guests”) over, so keeping the place looking nice is important to them.

Who gets most excited about the holidays: Stinger, for sure, though Max edges him out of that spot when it comes to Halloween and Christmas.

Who is the big spoon/little spoon: Max isn’t big on snuggling, but when he’s in the mood for it, he likes to be the big spoon.

Who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports: They’re both fairly competitive, and they sort of egg each other on once they get going.

Who starts the most arguments: Their arguments are rare, though when they do happen, both parties share some of the blame. Max has a temper and Stinger will double down on his position even if he’s dead wrong, and that’s a combination for trouble under the right circumstances. Thankfully, these squabbles never last for more than a day or so before they talk it out.

What are their nicknames for each other: They cycle through so many of them, but none have really stuck yet.

Who suggests that they buy a pet: Max wants very badly to suggest that, but the kinds of animals Stinger finds cute are completely different from ones he likes. Max wants a dog. Stinger thinks dogs are boring and wants another scorpion instead.

What couple traditions they have: On weekends they sleep in and have a long bath together and a home-made breakfast (assuming an emergency doesn’t come up). When the weather starts getting cold, they’ll each buy the other a nice new scarf, and when it starts to warm up in the spring, they take some time off from hero work to enjoy the weather and shake off their cabin fever. Christmas is spent with just each other–no exceptions–and Valentine’s Day is the same way. Basically, they make time for just the two of them, to make sure the other knows how important they are, even if life keeps them too busy for much privacy.

What tv shows they watch together: A lot of anime (Max prefers sports anime and Stinger likes lighthearted adventure/fantasy ones). Max is also a fan of police procedurals and medical dramas, though Stinger doesn’t really see the point of them. He prefers more comedic stuff.

Another couple they hang out with: The question should be what couples they don’t hang out with. Double dates are in, babey! (Spring Moustachio and Golden Ball are probably the couple they pal around with the most, if only because they get a nice discount at Spring Moustachio’s place.)

How they spend time together as a couple: Doing anything and everything they’d do by themselves or with friends. They’re busy people and it’s tiring trying to find special couple things to do all the time, so they just…do normal things, only together.

Who made the first move: Stinger. He actually made, like, the first two dozen moves, but Max was so busy being oblivious and surly that it didn’t sink in for at least a month.

Who brings flowers home: Neither of them are flower people. They tend to surprise each other with either sweets (Stinger prefers chocolates and Max is partial to pastries) or with high-quality meats to make for dinner.

Who is the best cook: They’re about equal in terms of cooking skill, though Stinger is better with more traditional dishes. Given his area of patrol, Stinger often comes home with fish and fresh produce given to him by the vendors of City J farmer’s market, so they cook their own dinners most nights. It’s given them a lot of practice in the kitchen.

Who snores: Stinger. Loudly. So, so loudly. (Though, Max is guilty as well when he’s really tired.)

[benjaminernando97-blog]

How to Choose The Sims 4

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[worldwalkernovel]

The dynamic duo: What is their favorite book/poem/song of earth? Of Alleirat? Can they sing? What are some instruments of Alleirat? What are they made of? How are they made? Are they widely available? Of earth's instruments, what is their sound similar to? Are there major festivals/holidays? Any strange ones (like the city in Spain that has an annual tomato fight)? What are Alleirai beds like (raised on four legs/futons/hammocks)? Are there sleeping bags or does everyone just suffer on the road?

Hey, y’all, sorry I just...fucking vanished there!  Real life obligations caught up with me.  Ironically this is a long term positive--I’m much more productive in writing when I have a job, because it leaves me less time to second guess myself.  Point is, I’m going to try and actually Do Things on this blog again.  Also the last one about holidays got pretty long so I put it under a cut.

What is their favorite book/poem/song of Earth?  Of Alleirat?

Oh my God, listen, I’m not gonna get to most of this question because I got overexcited, but let’s talk about these two and Earth poetry, yeah?

Crispin discovers Emily Dickinson in seventh grade English class, and the first poem of hers he ever reads is, of course, Because I could not stop for Death.  He traces his fingers over the words “Since then – ‘tis Centuries – and yet//Feels shorter than the Day//I first surmised the Horses’ Heads//Were toward Eternity –” and for some reason he can’t quite put his finger on, his throat closes up tight and his voice breaks when he’s asked to read aloud.  Some indiscernable something about her words ring in his head like English hasn’t rung in years, and he checks a collection out of the library the same day.  His favorite poem of hers is--it’s not really his favorite, but the poem of hers he knows by heart and can’t seem to peel out of the beat of his pulse is I measure every Grief I meet.  Some days he loves it, for how cleanly and purely it seems to scribe him into neat four-line stanzas.  Some days he can’t read it without crying, or throwing the book across the room.

The only Dickinson poem Brenneth likes is Tell all the Truth, and sometimes when she looks at Crispin she thinks it was written for him.

Brenneth doesn’t like poetry much, she mostly prefers songs--they’re easier to remember and she knows what to do with them, she doesn’t really know what to do with poetry (can’t sing it, doesn’t have a narrative, can’t even go see it performed) and she doesn’t like not knowing what to do with a thing.  But once she read Goblin Market, by Christina Rossetti.  She started it by accident, and there was a story, a narrative threading through the ramble, and she kept reading, and--

Brenneth has dreams for a week, dizzy uneasy dreams of Crispin biting into strange foreign fruits and letting juice as thick and red as blood stain his mouth, and of hands--his hands, strong and crackling with lightning--pressing the fruit against her mouth and saying eat, eat, and of a mouth on her jaw and neck and collarbones, drinking the juice from her skin.

What are Alleirai beds/travel beds like?

The basic structure of Alleirai beds is “four legs, some kind of pad, sheets/blanket, maybe a pillow” but there’s a lot of scope there and it’s not unheard of for people to have a different arrangement based on what they’re used to--sailors are used to hammock-style bunks on ships, travelers used to sleeping rough are most familiar with bedrolls that consist of little more than two blankets and possibly a very thin pad.  At the end of the day, though, since a large portion of the continent is arable, elevated beds have the practical advantage of being easier to keep relatively clean of dirt, water, and creepy crawlies.  As such, a cot-style arrangement is considered the bare minimum, with a base of taut cloth and no mattress at all. The rich might have a four-poster bed with a down mattress.  Most people are somewhere in the middle with plain frames and horsehair or straw ticks that get exchanged on a semi-regular basis.

Can they sing?

Yes!  Brenneth has a nice folksy low alto, it’s nothing special but she used to sing shanties and ballads while she worked in her forge, especially while she was hammering or doing anything else that required a rhythm.  Sometimes she gave people a discount on their work if they were willing to teach her a new song instead, and people made jokes about the singing smith.  Crispin has a beautiful mid-range tenor, sweet and clear as glass when he was a child and deepening to something warm and full as he got older.  He has formal voice training, which was part of his education--singing is a good way to learn to project your voice, which is a desirable trait in a hero of legend.  However, he hates to sing alone, which is where all his training lies, so he taught himself to sing harmony to Brenneth’s melodies and that’s the only way he sings anymore.

What are some instruments of Alleirat/what are they like?

They hit a lot of the same major categories as we do--they have necked and non-necked string instruments (things like guitars or fiddles and lyres or harps, respectively), drums and other percussion instruments, wind instruments.  They lack the finesse to make out modern instruments, and most wind instruments are made of wood rather than metals, whereas they have a lot more metal drums than hide-and-wood drums, so playing the drum in Alleirat is equally about knowing how to stop a sound as start it.  You know that dome-shaped hang drum thing?  Something similar to that with only a few tones (like four total) is pretty common on ships and is used to keep time for sea shanties, and more complex versions are popular during festivals, in combination with strings and singing.  Vocalists are prized in Alleirat, so wind instruments are less common than things that allow singing and playing simultaneously.

Are there major holidays/festivals?  Any weird ones?

I’d have sworn on my life I answered this already, but apparently not.  The Alleirai seasons each have a festival at the height and one at the end of the year, four religious festivals and one political.  The political festival is Unification Day, the commemoration of the unification of the continent of Alleirat and the formal truce of the lengthy wars that threatened to kill everyone on it, and takes place in the early days of summer.  How seriously and/or cheerfully people take Unification Day depends on how they’re feeling about the Unified Council at that moment, and whether or not their protectorate state is on the verge of civil war with a neighbor.  

The religious festivals are:

the Feast of the Wanderer, which takes place at midsummer and is a festival of plenty and warmth and alcohol--the Wanderer is the god of life and fire, and the festival is encouraged to embrace and embody joy and revelry.  There are also ritual fights, which are largely in fun and more like friendly bar brawls than formalized gladiator matches, and both participants are usually quite drunk.  Agreeing to be the on-call flesh workers standing ringside on the Feast makes you an obscene amount of money, but you have to be sober.  Gifts are also exchanged at this festival--material gifts, specifically.

the Lady’s Night, or the Night of Stars, which takes place at midwinter and is very much a festival of...keeping out the dark, I suppose, would be the way I’ll put it.  The festival is about remembering that We Are Alive And Life Is Short, as well as remembering the dead, with a lot of candles lit in memorial and just for light--traditionally, you stay up from dusk until dawn, and if your candles and fire go out, you’ll have bad luck all year.  There’s still drinking and feasting and general celebration, but it’s more intimate and less raucous than the Feast.  You exchange stories and sing and hold your breath whenever the flames flicker.  (Cheating with magical glowglasses is considered bad luck as well.)  There are people who learn a single story or song all year in preparation for the Night of Stars, and you display them as a gift for the people you’re celebrating with.

the Landing, the first day of the new year at mid-spring, which marks the day that tradition and lore say the gods first came to Alleirat.  It’s probably not the right day, sort of like Christmas was moved around a bunch, but no one but the very well educated or very pedantic care.  You leave offerings at the temples or shrines at dawn, and then you go out and celebrate.  All day if you can, more often just from “whenever you get off work” to “whenever you collapse.”  The large cities and sometimes smaller towns and villages hold a parade, and crown young people, a boy and a girl in their mid to late teens or early twenties, as the Lady and the Wanderer for the day.  The crowns assigned to each of the two (generally flower crowns, rather than anything valuable) is supposed to be handed around over the course of the day, as a sort of village-wide game of Tag with the crowned people as “it”, and whoever holds the crowns at sundown has the responsibility of leading the town in the service of the Landing, which is a whole thing.  It’s sort of like religious hot potato with drinking.

the Eve of Dead Gods, which is pretty much what it says on the tin.  In terms of the feel of the Eve, it’s sort of somewhere between old celebrations of Halloween and Yom Kippur, with an emphasis on considering your own actions of the past year and serious reflection, as well as a  day when...well, they’re pretty serious about the dead gods.  Gods can’t be ghosts, of course, don’t be foolish, but--but when you worship the last two of a mighty pantheon, it doesn’t hurt to do honor to those who went before.  On the Eve, you lock your doors and windows at dusk and don’t go outside again until the sun is shining, and you remember that everything dies.  Even gods.

Some people--those whose ancestors escaped the sinking of the western continent--hold a quiet holiday for the Chained Lord, the god who didn’t answer when they called for salvation and whose death throes killed thousands.  It’s a small thing of fasting and candles and salt scattered on the floor, observed by most as little more than a cursory tradition and not even a shadow of a shadow of what his festivals must have once been.

[lausscribbles]

‘I’m a cute psycho killer, isn’t it obvious?’ x Dan Howell

yes, this is a halloween one shot, YES I KNOW IT’S ONLY SEPTEMBER LEAVE ME ALONE. anyway, enjoy xx (side note : Y/F/N = your friend’s name)

You never were a big fan of dress up parties, especially when they were Halloween themed. All the fake blood, open gushing wounds and other way too explicit make-up just made you nauseous. And all the people who decided to be an absolute douche and dress up as a killer clown, didn’t make it any better. But, you never had a choice when it came to whether you’d go or not go to a party. Your best friend, [Y/F/N], just knocked on your door, basically threw an outfit in your face, and dragged you along. (That was one of the reasons you always made sure your phone was on full battery in the evening in the weekends.) Tonight was yet another one of those nights. [Y/F/N] had texted you, saying she would be at your apartment in ten minutes to pick you up for some Halloween party somewhere on the other side of London. And now you had to improvise some sort of Halloween attire. Something that wasn’t too obvious, since you weren’t really about going all out with costumes. So you decided on wearing simple jeans, some boots and a shirt that had an embroidered text on it, saying ‘cute but psycho’. A small bow clip in your hair and some plastic knife with red stains made your outfit complete. But when you saw [Y/F/N]’s outfit, you immediately felt quit underdressed. ‘Oh, c’mon, [Y/N],’ she sighed, rolling her eyes that looked plain white because of the contacts she was wearing. ‘Couldn’t you try a little harder?’ I raised the knife I was holding in my hands, grinning sheepishly. ‘You know I’m not that into Halloween.’ I shrugged, and then looked, a bit disturbed, at the fake blood that covered half of [Y/F/N]’s face. ‘The only thing I like about it is that I can watch ‘Nightmare before Christmas’.’ ‘I really don’t get why we are friends,’ [Y/F/N] sighed, but then smiled, which looked really upsetting because of her ripped mouth. ‘Let’s just go, maybe I can convince you to get some fake blood here and there.’ ‘Not going to happen.’ You smiled at her, taking your phone and keys, and following her outside. You had no clue how someone got away with a house party in a London suburb, but they had made it happen. Loads of people were dressed from head to toe, fake blood was seen on almost every visible body part, and there was a wide range of creepy masks. And, of course, those damn killer clowns. You suddenly wished you had brought a real knife, just to feel a bit safer around the pale faced and red painted lips demons. And the pounding music that seemed to raise your heartbeat even more, didn’t quit help with the whole situation. So, you quickly followed [Y/F/N] inside, avoiding eye contact with everyone while clinging tightly onto your plastic knife, that felt really stupid compared to the really realistic looking torture instruments. Why couldn’t people just dress up as cats and pumpkins like in the good old days? The music only got louder as you got closer to the house, and it seemed almost unbearable once you were inside. But you couldn’t tell if it was really the music, or the nauseous making smell and creepy faces staring at you. (Or that was what they did in your imagination. In reality, they were all laughing, drinking, and dancing. An odd combination with the masks and make-up.) [Y/F/N] handed you a blue cup, smiling. ‘Drink up, I know how nervous you are. And don’t worry, I’m not drinking so we’ll get home safely.’ You smiled thankfully at her and took a careful sip, glad that it was one of your favorite drinks. ‘I’m going to say hi to some people, you’ll be okay?’ You just nodded and smiled again. You’d became pretty good at being alone at parties this big. But this was better than to tag alone with [Y/F/N] and have to go through all the awkward introductions. And she knew you preferred staying behind. With a quick wave, she disappeared in the crowd of dancing costumes. You found a good spot in the kitchen, right next to the snack table, where the music wasn’t too loud. And you didn’t seem to be the only person that was searching for company in food. He was awkwardly shoving a handful of crisps into his mouth, when you made eye contact. He looked to say at least horrified that I had ‘busted’ him, and wanted to say something, but when he opened up his mouth, half of the crisps fell out his mouth again. You tried really hard to not laugh at him, but it was kinda hard not to. ‘I’m sorry,’ you said, apologizing for laughing at his awkward moment. He quickly munched away at the remaining crisps, while walking over to you. ‘That’s okay. Guess we’re in this together huh?’ He grinned, pointing at his ‘outfit’. He was wearing a black jeans, along with a black, long sleeved shirt. ‘Are you dressed as an emo kid?’ You frowned, looking at his hair that clearly once used to be a fringe. ‘I guess,’ he shrugged. ‘And you are?’ ‘A cute psycho killer, duh.’ You said, dangerously swinging your plastic knife around, while pointing at your bow in your hair. ‘Obviously,’ he chuckled. ‘Hi, I’m Dan, the emo kid. And what is your name, cute psycho killer?’ ‘[Y/N],’ you smiled. ‘What’s your excuse for not wearing a costume?’ ‘Partly didn’t get the memo it was supposed to be a dress up kinda thing. Kinda played video games until the last minute and got too lazy to put on something else. You?’ Dan smiled, rolling up his sleeves ‘till they reached his elbows, leaving some left over crumbs of the crisps on his sleeves. ‘I don’t really like Halloween.’ ‘What?!’ Dan said, gasping dramatically. ‘But the Spooky Season is the best season! I’m sorry, but we really can’t be friends.’ ‘Spooky Season?’ You laughed. ‘That sounds way cuter than Halloween really is. I mean, look at the people around you. They all look like they are murdered, or are about to murder someone. That’s not spooky anymore. That’s straight up psycho.’ ‘Says the girl dressed as a ‘cute psycho’.’ Dan grinned, pointing at my bow. ‘Damn, you got me there.’ You laughed. ‘Anyway, if you hate Halloween, why are you here?’ ‘Because my best friend basically drags me to every party. I know what you’re thinking, what a cruel friend, but otherwise she’d go alone, so I’d rather go with her so at least I’m here if she does something stupid.’ ‘That’s actually really nice of you, … For a psycho killer.’ Dan added, laughing. You just roll your eyes and take a big sip of your drink. ‘It doesn’t look like you’re having the best time either.’ You raised an eyebrow at him, and quickly glanced at the dancing crowd, to see if [Y/F/N] had returned yet. ‘Once again, kinda in the same situation.’ Dan smiled, and then looked behind him when someone shouted his name. ‘It looks like my friend is ready to go. But hey, give me your number. Maybe I could convince you that Spooky Season in fact is very fun.’ ‘I’d doubt you could do that, Dan, but I’m willing to give you a chance.’ You laughed, motioning him to give you his phone so you could add your number. ‘I’ll text you,’ Dan said, winking and snapping his fingers at you, in an obvious ironically way, making you laugh. ‘Don’t kill to many people, cute psycho.’ ‘And you don’t cry too much over My Chemical Romance. Watch out, or I will play that one note.’ ‘Nice one,’ Dan laughed, going for another grab in the crisps bowl, waving with his other hand, while walking away. And of course, he stumbled against someone, spilling all the crisps on the floor. You chuckled, while he looked back at you, hoping as if you wouldn’t have seen it. He shrugged and then quickly walked out of the house. ‘Hey! You okay?’ [Y/F/N] stood suddenly in front of you, smiling. ‘Yeah, I’m okay.’ You smiled back at her. ‘What happened?’ She asked, looking suspiciously at you. ‘Nothing special.’ But you couldn’t stop smiling for some silly reason. And when you felt your phone violently vibrating in your pocket, that smile was there to stay. Maybe ‘Spooky Season’ wasn’t that bad after all. If you’d count out the creepy clowns, bloody make-up and masks, and kept in the awkward, tall, emo guys.

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior October 30, 2020 – COME PLAY, THE CRAFT: LEGACY, HIS HOUSE, SPELL, HOLIDATE and More!

Boy, it was really nice having a week off last week, and honestly, I’m thinking of legitimately cutting back the number of movies I review for this column every week, since trying to review ten to twelve movies in any week is just too much, especially if I’m ever gonna get back to the box office stuff. I don’t expect that to be any time soon since movie theaters are still shut in NYC and any major release is either getting shuffled to next year or onto streaming.

Because Halloween is this Saturday, we can expect a lot of horror movies but a few other things as well. Thankfully, this is also a relatively quieter week as is next week before things absolutely EXLODE once again. Who knows? Maybe movie theaters will be reopened in New York City by then, too.

The highest profile movie of the week (and the one getting the widest theatrical release) might be Jacob Chase’s COME PLAY (Focus), a horror movie that he expanded from his earlier short film “Larry.” The feature stars young Azhy Robertson as Oliver, an autistic boy who discovers a book called “The Misunderstood Monster” on his phone, which awakens a monster called “Larry.” As Oliver’s parents (John Gallagher, Jr and Gillian Jacobs) try to understand what is going on with the boy, Larry continues to wreak havoc on everyone around the boy.

I was generally mixed on this highly high-concept horror movie, maybe because it seemed like a fairly cheesy concept that completely over-utilizes the concept of a monster that inhabits technology to the point where you immediately think of Lights Out. That was also based on a short film expanded into feature, but that was also directed by David F. Sandberg. Chase is a perfectly capable filmmaker, and he has two great actors in Gallagher and Jacobs, the latter playing a far more dramatic role than we’ve seen from her in quite some time.

The problem is that the first hour or so isn’t particularly scary, it actually feels kind of dull and derivative. It’s not really until the last half hour when we get to see Larry in a far scarier physical form than just inhabiting and controlling technology, where things pick up and that last act of the movie does sort of make up for the earlier part of the film.  Come Play isn’t terrible, and I’ve definitely seen far worse, but it’s also no Babadook in terms of doing something original or innovative within the horror realm.

As if we didn’t have enough remakes going on right now, Sony and Blumhouse decided to dump their THE CRAFT: LEGACY, declared as a “continuation” of the beloved 1997 movie, to PVOD this week. I never was a huge fan of the original Craft, but it’s as much a beloved cult movie as any other out there. I truly believe that for any Millennial woman who was in her teens in 1997, this is probably her favorite movie, or maybe it’s just the women I tend to meet.  Anyway, this one is written and directed by Zoe Lister-Jones, who made that wonderful Sundance movie Band-Aid, and it stars Cailee Spaeny as teenager Lilly, who arrives in town with her mother (the wonderful Michelle Monaghan) to live with her mother’s new boyfriend (David Duchovny) and his three sons. Lilly is immediately picked on at school until she falls in with a trio of fellow girls (Gideon Adlon, Lovie Simone, Zoey Luna) who notices Lilly’s ability and wants her to become the fourth in their mini-coven they’ve created to explore their witchy powers.

Even though I know plenty of women who absolutely love the original 1997 movie, and there’s nothing wrong with that, The Craft never really connected with me, so I went into this without any real emotion about the movie being remade… I mean… continued. Oh, let’s cut the crap. There’s almost nothing that connects this movie to the earlier movie other than it’s another group of teenage girls getting into witchcraft. Maybe there’s some easter eggs in there that didn’t jump out at me, but any actual connection with the first movie seems so tacked-on to a movie that just isn’t very good otherwise. (Lister-Jones leans so heavily on her movie’s soundtrack to keep any sort of momentum going.)

As much as I love the cast Lister-Jones put together, particularly Spaeny and Monaghan, her movie is so disjointed starting with all the silly giggly girly stuff at the beginning, to all the Y.A. lovey-dovey Twilight crap (mostly dealing with Lilly’s hunky love interest of sorts played by Nichoas Galitzine) to about an hour into the movie when things finally get darker but then immediately starts falling apart.

I won’t go into further details to avoid spoilers, but it takes almost an hour to get to anything even remotely resembling an actual plot.  If you’ve seen the original movie, you’ll already know the basic arc except that like last year’s Black Christmas remake -- also by Blumhouse – the movie transforms into a big female empowerment fight against the evil man, who you can figure out quite easily who that might be. I generally felt that Spaeny was really misused and the visual effects to show the girls’ powers are so lame I’m wondering how they got past the Blumhouse quality control standards.

This is a silly and mostly obnoxious girls’ movie that made me feel old AF as it chose to deal more with feelings than anything even remotely resembling scares. After watching it, I was far less surprised The Craft: Legacy was being dumped to VOD rather than getting a theatrical release.

Streaming on Netflix this week is Remi Weeke’s feature debut HIS HOUSE about a refugee couple (played by Ṣọpẹ Dìrísù and Wunmi Mosaku) who escape from war-torn South Sudan to try to create a new life for themselves in a small English town when they start experiencing all sorts of weird and nefarious occurrences in their new home.

His House is a bonafide horror movie, but one that’s so entirely unique to the genre by adding the fish-out-of-water experience of two immigrants into the mix. It also seemingly uses authentic African mythology and lore to make the supernatural aspect of the story feel much more relevant to the couple at the movie’s core, while at the same time showing the xenophobia experienced by immigrants in the UK.  That last part is something we doesn’t have many opportunities to experience so much in the U.S., but between this and Steve McQueen’s upcoming “Small Axe Anthology” we get to see how racism in the UK shows its ugly face in a different way than it does here.

Weekes’ clearly has a solid handle on the material for his feature debut, which even includes a small role for former Doctor Who Matt Smith, but I was more impressed with the strong performances by the two leads combined with how Weekes worked with his team to create actual scares in new and intriguing ways.

More importantly, Weekes’ film shows how important it is to establish strong core characters before throwing them into any sort of supernatural horrors, which is why this ultimately works better than some of the other horror films of the week including Spell (see below).

Significantly creepy but tying that into a strong narrative about the immigration situation in the UK, His House delivers on both aspects to create a strong and impressive debut from Weekes. This is a genuinely scary movie that thrives on offering original ideas vs. retread.

Premiering on Premium VOD and Digital (and maybe in a drive-in or two? Who knows?) is Mark Tonderai’s supernatural thriller SPELL (Paramount Home Entertainment), starring Omari Hardwick and Loretta Devine. Hardwick plays Marquis T. Woods, a successful lawyer on his way to his father’s funeral in Appalachia with his family when the plane he’s flying gets hit by a storm. Marquis wakes up trapped in an attic by a Ms. Eloise (Devine) who claims she has complete control over him using a Hoodoo talisman known as a “Boogity.”  Marquis urgently has to escape her dark magic and save his family.

I tried hard to avoid going into this semi-cynically since “horror noir” is now a huge thing thanks to the success of Jordan Peele’s Get Out and Us. Every single horror film with a black lead has tried to combine the same amount of Peele’s socially-aware relevance with typical horror scares. Spell definitely has that despite being written and produced by Kurt Wimmer, best known for the 2002 sci-fi film Equilibrium.

Spell doesn’t take too long getting Hardwick’s family man Marquis out of his comfort zone and back to his Appalachian home where, as a kid, he was abused by his religiously-devout father who believed in the area’s Hoodoo customs. Like classic horror movies like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and even Hills Have Eyes, Spell is fashioned as people from a different background coming upon strange and deadly Southerners, here represented mainly by Devine’s character but also by almost everyone Marquis and his family meet once they get down to the Appalachia area.

The movie only really gets going once Marquis is trapped by Devine’s Ms. Eloise, and that’s where it turns into a supernatural-tinged version of Misery as he repeatedly tries to escape. I generally love Devine and glad she was able to get more of a lead role that may have normally gone to Octavia Spencer, but Devine has an even harder time getting past her likeable nature, and honestly? By the third or fourth time she has used the term “Boogity” – it’s used a lot – it become even harder to take the movie very seriously.  In general, the movie feels like the filmmakers were trying to throw in too many ideas and only some of them work.

What Tonderai has going for this movie is that he has made a sharp and stylish movie that ably builds the tension as it goes along. It even throws in some deeply disturbing gory movies as it builds to a bit of a revenge action-thriller by its crazy last act. Because of that, Spell finds a way to get past its derivate roots to deliver a thriller that’s likely to keep the audience’s rapt attention despite its issues.

Just in time for Halloween, Netflix releases HOLIDATE, starring Emma Roberts and Luke Bracey as Sloane and Jackson, two people who hate being single on holidays and facing judgment from their families. When they meet, they pledge to be each other’s “holidate” for any festival occasion for the next year.

High-concept R-rated Rom-Com warning!  Not that I’m NOT a fan of this genre when done right, and actually, director John Whitesell (of the “Big Momma” sequels) does a pretty good job getting a lot of laughs out of his amazing cast that includes Kristin Chenoweth (two weeks in a row!), Jessica Capshaw and more.

It’s a little weird seeing Emma Roberts, who I’ve met and interviewed since she was a teenager, in such a racy R-rated role that includes a lot of humor that would not seem out of place in Bridesmaids or an Amy Schumer movie. I’m sure she hates being compared to her famous rom-com star aunt, but Roberts really has mastered the comedy aspect of the genre that’s just as any meet-cute romance. It reminds me a little of two of my favorite rom-coms of 2019, Last Christmas and Plus One, and even if it doesn’t try to be particularly deep or thought provoking, it sure as hell is entertaining.

Despite there being quite a bit of silliness and even some low-brow humor in Holidate, it’s definitely going to be a lot of people’s guilty pleasure, because Roberts and Bracey are so absolutely adorable together. (This movie was so obviously made before COVID because there’s so much partying and Christmas merriment unlike anything we’re likely to see this year.)

Martin Krejci’s THE TRUE ADVENTURES OF WOLF BOY (Vertical) stars Jaden Martell from the “IT” movies as hairy-faced soon-to-be-13-year-old Paul Harker, who lives an isolated life with his garbageman father (Chris Messina). Frustrated by his secluded life, Paul runs away in an effort to find the mother he never met, making a few similarly odd friends along the way.

This is another movie that could have gone either way depending very much on the tone, but its tone is so all over the place that I never quite figured out if this was supposed to be a kids’ movie, something for young adults or just some sort of tax write-off that managed to convince a number of serious players like John Turturro (who has an exec. producer credit) and Chloë Sevigny to get involved.

Martell is generally no slouch himself, having had a number of starring roles, but it seems like this might have been filmed years ago because he looks and sounds like a 10-year-old. You don’t have to get too far into the movie before you see Martell with his hairy make-up, clearly inspired by The Wolfman, as he’s picked on by other kids and eventually decides to run away from home. First, he returns to the carnival where Turturro’s Mr. Silk puts Paul to work as a sideshow freak. That doesn’t work out so Paul runs off and encounters two wild outcast girls, played by Sophie Giannamore and Eve Hewson. That whole time, Paul is being pursued by a detective who wants to bring him home to his worried father.

Sadly, Chris Messina, who has been taking on so many more interesting roles recently, just doesn’t have a ton to do here, and others like Turturro, are so badly overacting it takes you completely out of the movie. The movie does get a little better once Giannamore and Hewson’s characters are introduced into the mix, but Paul’s story never does much to win over the viewer’s interest, so the movie never finds its footing. Even the sentimental final act that introduces characters played by Sevigny and the always great Stephen McKinley Henderson barely makes up for all the earlier silliness. It will be available On Demand and Digitally this Friday.

The movie above has absolutely nothing to do with Andre Gower’s doc Wolfman’s Got Nards (Gravitas Ventures), which is available via VOD right now. It’s a look at the 1987 movie The Monster Squad, which I never really was that into but there’s no denying that it’s the definition of a cult film, because I know so many people who are obsessed with this movie. (Some of are actually in this doc! Germain Lussier and Jen Yamato, I miss you guys!) Gower’s doc covers how the movie got made with Shane Black co-writing it with director Fred Dekker, who basically went on to make…um… Robocop 3. This isn’t quite as fun as the recent You Don’t Nomi in terms of a doc about one specific movie, although there’s a lot of great behind-the-scenes footage, and horror fans will love all the nerdy talk about making the creatures and physical effects for the movie. Maybe it’s because I haven’t seen Monster Squad in so long that I just couldn’t get quite as excited about this doc as others might. I think if you love The Monster Squad, this movie will make you plotz!

Another, possibly higher-profile doc is Frederick Wiseman’s CITY HALL , which will debut exclusively at venerable New York arthouse Film Forum’s Virtual Cinema today. It’s a four and a half-hour documentary that follows the day-to-day of Boston’s City Hall and Mayor Marty Walsh as they deal with situations both mundane and extraordinary (like the Red Sox’s 2018 World Series win) over the course of a few months. At 90 years young, Wiseman is a veritable documentary legend who has been working in that medium since the mid-60s with something like 45 or 50 films under his belt. (Some of those films have been and will continue to be streaming as part of Film Forum’s “Wednesdays with Wiseman,” many of them including Q&As with Wiseman and other Oscar-winning documentaries.) Surprisingly, I only first heard of Wiseman when he won two awards from the New York Film Critics Circle a few years back for In Jackson Heights (just over three hours long), and there’s no question he’s a master of what he does, which is cinema verité documentary that does exactly that… documents. I honestly couldn’t get past two hours of watching this stuff, but maybe that’s just me.

Also streaming at Film Forum beginning Friday is King (A Touch of Zen) Hu’s 1979 martial arts drama Raining in the Mountain, starring Hsu Feng, which should be worth a view.

Another interesting doc out this week is Julie Sokolow’s Barefoot: The Mark Baumer Story (1091) about a writer and activist from Providence, Rhode Island named… well, you can figure that out… who decided to walk across the country barefoot over 100 days in order to protest people (including a certain POTUS) ignoring climate change.  It’s a pretty amusing and quirky movie, and if you didn’t know better, you might think it’s a spoof ala the amazing IFC series Documentary Now, but no, it’s real, and Sokolow does a great job keeping this quirky average joe interesting through the film’s 85-minute runtime, although he does get a little annoying, because he’s one of those friends who will just not shut up while complaining about Trump… and this is during a walk that took place before Trump’s inauguration! It’s definitely a very unique and different political doc from others we’ve seen this year maybe because Baumer does seem so down-to-earth despite his kookiness. I liked this doc almost but not quite as much as My Name is Pedro from earlier in the year because it does show that weirdos CAN make a difference! It’s available pretty extensively right now on VOD and digital on most platforms including iTunes, Amazon, and more. You can watch the trailer below and find out viewing options HERE:

After a few months of offering Digital Live Screenings, Metrograph is adding “Ticketed Screenings” for those who don’t want to commit the insanely reasonable $5 a month for a membership. First up this Friday is Olivier Laxe’s doc Fire Will Come (KimStim) which follows Amador Coro, a man accused of starting a fire who returns home from prison to live with his mother in Galicia (the director’s ancestral home), an area for having a high number of wildfires. The film, which won the Un Certain regard Jury Prize at Cannes last year, will have a weeklong run, and it includes a conversation between Laxe and cinematographer Ed Lachman, and a collection of Laxe’s short films will also be available.

A few of the movies still available this week (at least through Wednesday) as part of Metrograph’s Live Screenings include Red Squad, The Werewolf of Washington: Director’s Cut, The Edge (as part of the Robert Kramer retrospective), and Roni Moore and James Blagden’s Midnight in Paris. You can learn more about all of these and joining the Metrograph with a digital membership at the Official Site.

Other movies out this week that I wasn’t able to get to:

US KIDS As an Act of Protest (Speller Street Films) Attack of the Demons (Dark Star Pictures) Madre (Strand Releasing)

Probably the most exciting news for those planning to keep Disney+ past the first free year they got through Verizon, is that The Mandalorian Season 2 debuts on Friday! Also, Parasite director Bong Joon-ho’s Memories of Murder is now available On Demand, so if you haven’t seen it yet… do it now! (Also, The Hostis on Hulu, so no excuse not to watch some of Director Bong’s pre-Parasite films.)

[revelingrexan]

Tags and stuuuufff

‘Eyo! Making a quick start to listing tags for my own reference, but making the post public so anyone can use ‘em to navigate my blogs. <3 (Adding links a bit at a time, too.) It’s late rn, so this’ll start (very) incomplete and I’ll add more in the future.

Also, some tags may not currently have any posts associated with them because the associated post is currently on queue, and I wanted to make a special tag for it and similar posts I may make or reblog in the future.

Sorted alphabetically. Tags may get removed or combined if I ever decide I’ve just got way too many and can’t reasonably keep track of them.

(Quick note to self: DON’T use bullet points for this extended list. They look clustered and gross with my blog theme, and using a double enter to space them out just spaces them out too much.)

* arthropod friends (reblogs) - Bugs and such! Good cuties. Or at least neato creatures. (More should be public in this tag eventually; there’s only two right now. My reblog queue stretches a couple months haha.) I’m actually a total insect/arthropod noob/newb so there may be some mis-categorized animals.

* art tips (reblogs) - Yeeup. Art tuts.

* ask answered - Peeps answer something I asked.

* beaitufl (main blog) (reblogs) - No typos here. Posts that are beautiful in a meme-like manner. I pronounce it “bay-aw-i-tuff-ull.” One of my fave tags tbh

* body horror or gore (reblogs) - As it says. NOT a trigger warning tag, though; it’s just for me, the posts that I think look especially cool with these themes. So, there may be some posts not tagged as such ‘cause, yes, I like them (I wouldn’t reblog them otherwise), but they don’t match the aesthetic I like with gore or body horror.

* christmas (reblogs) - Yeh

* cool art (reblogs)

* cool design (reblogs)

* cool fax (reblogs) - Cool facts.

* cussing (reblogs) - My only “warning” tag of any sort (at the moment?). I grew up in a weird family that was INCREDIBLY strict about swearing but lax on gore and violence and stuff, and I know other families that are similar, too, so this tag appeases myself, made for hypothetical younger-me and similar peeps looking at my blogs. But I use it way less than I should so

* cute (reblogs)

* cute buggies (reblogs) - Added much later than “cute” because gOOOSH @onenicebugperday is too wonderful and wholesome and also there are lots of cute insects anyway but I know a lot of people don’t find bugs cute so aaaaaaa

* [fandom] notable - Currently just have one “villainous notable” post (in my reblog queue while I’m making this post, iirc) but I’ll probably add more. Things that I think are especially neat or head canon-worthy.

-- villainous notable (reblogs) -- dracula notable

* faves (reblogs) - Self-explanatory <3

* funny (reblogs) - For tagging memes or funny fandom posts for fandoms I don’t post for often. If I post regularly for a fandom, the jokes and stuff won’t be labeled ‘cause I’d like the “funny” tag to be enjoyable to anyone, no matter their fandoms.

* halloween (reblogs)

* hand slipped (reblogs) - When someone says basically “whoops my hand slipped” on an art post because I love that energy. Posts with similar energy can get tagged with this, too, if I remember to do so.

* history (reblogs) - Old timey things and history-learning things. Only remembered this tag fairly recently so there’s not much on it.

* i answer

* keeper (reblogs) - Catch-all “I wanna find this later ‘cause it’s got cool or good info” post. Doesn’t fit with “reminder” ‘cause it’s not necessarily a reminder for myself on how to think or act or consider the world. Very possible there will still be quite a few posts with both “keeper” and “reminder” tags, to raise the chance I see the respective posts again. (I think I have one in my queue while making this post. Or I just like the idea and am adding it to the list for the future. Who knows lol)

* mood (reblogs) - Combined “relatable” and “relate” into this one tag. Yee.

* note (main blog) (reblogs) - I intend to have this tag usually be empty. Or at least not have much in it. It’s a “to-do” tag of sorts, but I’m casual about it and don’t worry if I don’t get to something. Might separate from “redraw possibility,” but who knows.

* note 2 (main blog) (reblogs) - For redraws or things I may want to animate in the future and similar. For sure not holding myself to anything, though. I just would like “note” to stay mostly empty. Removed “redraw possibility” as a tag and combined it with this.

* note done :3 (reblogs) - Finished a note task! I’m happy when I’m able to see I actually did stuff, like see task lists with things crossed off, so this is my equivalent. I’ve done at least a few more than what’s here ‘cause this was a tag I thought of probably a year+ after adding the “note” tags.

(Also!!! Holey MOLEY I know myself so well LOL. I forgot what my “I finished a note task” tag was, and my FIRST GUESSING SEARCH WAS CORRECT, LITTLE “:3″ EMOTICON AND ALL. I ONLY HAD ONE POST AT THE TIME TAGGED AS SUCH, AND I’D PROBABLY TAGGED IT MORE THAN A MONTH BEFORE. INCREDIBLE. I LOVE ME.)

* oh so they like like them (reblogs) - All ship stuff or stuff with people being together non-platonically. This is new (as of June 2021), so I gotta go back and tag stuff. Probably won’t find everything but that’s a’ight.

* oh that’s gay (reblogs) - GAE <3

* reblog (main blog) - For this blog since I don’t reblog much here anymore, other than gifs. Idk why I have it, exactly, but I like having it.

* reminder (main blog) (reblogs) - Reminders of things like “Hey, self, remember to not be a jerk,” “Oh crap, yeah, remember the world’s messed up about this,” or other similar things. (Different from “keeper”; “keeper” is more of a “misc. but notable” tag)

* sneks (reblogs) - snaaakes <3

* typos and stuff (reblogs) - Just to point out when I make mistakes, specifically mistakes I didn’t notice while submitting. I describe myself as a “recovering perfectionist,” so this is a silly “Heyo, reminder that mistakes get made. It’s all right <3” tag. (Usually there’s at least one mistake or aspect I’m unhappy with on each upload, but those are such a common part of life, they don’t need to be noted lol)

* villanos / villainous (main blog) (reblogs) - That exact tag, not #villainous or #villanos, but specifically “#villanos / villainous”: bilingual posts or posts where I translate Spanish Villainous content to English. (There might be some bilingual posts by other people tho :3)

Easter egg tags I only want to use impulsively and not with any particular organization:

* love love love (reblogs)

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

Ah, October, a month where the internet becomes obsessed with ghosts and goblins in preparation for Halloween. And really, can I fault the people for that? The dark, macabre, and spooky make for great entertainment! Plenty of great scary movies out there for the adults to enjoy to get into the spirit, but what about kids? Well, there’s Goosebumps and all those other shows like it, but what about a dark, macabre cartoon filled with spooky shit?

Enter The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, one of the best Cartoon Network cartoons ever made. Released in August of 2001, it came just in time for that year’s Halloween, and lasted six years, with seven seasons under its belt. During that time, the show endeared itself to audiences with its combination of dark comedy, grossout humor, and just plain weird situations…though weirdness is par for the course when you’re pals with the Grim Reaper, I suppose.

So what is the plot of this cartoon? Well, one day a hamster owned by a stupid boy named Billy was about to die, and the Grim Reaper came to take him. Billy’s cunning, evil best friend Mandy decided to make a bet with the Grim Reaper; they have a game of limbo, and if he wins he gets the hamster… but if THEY win, he has too be their best friend forever. Of course, he loses, and then he becomes the put-upon pal of these two kids as they boss him around and force him to entertain them. Much hilarity (and chaos) ensues.

This show’s greatest asset was its variety. With Grim onboard, any sort of plot could be possible, from sci-fi stories where the gang fought aliens or mutant chickens to more horrifying stores where they fought demons, monsters, and other denizens of the underworld. And sometimes they would do something really weird, like the episode-long dream sequence in which Billy imagines he’s in the Wild West confronting the cowboy Tooth Fairy. This helps most of the episodes feel fresh, because going in you don’t know if you’re gonna get a story about a killer tricycle or an episode-long reference to Suspiria. Speaking of which, the show is pretty clever in its references, slipping in TONS of content for adult fans, from numerous dirty jokes that will fly over kid’s heads to references to movies no kid would see, such as the aforementioned Suspiria or Hellraiser. As there’s not much continuity here, this show is super easy to jump into at any episode and just watch and have a good experience, which is another plus; sometimes it’s nice to have a simple show driven only by its desire to tell jokes rather than tell an overarching story. And thankfully, the jokes here are mostly good, and have as much variety as the episodes themselves. One memorable episode is just an episode-long series of fart jokes, while another episode gets its laughs from giant mutant chickens and cannibalism. It’s THAT kind of show.

Now, none of these situations would be quite as good if the protagonists weren’t entertaining, so how are they? Let’s start with the guy whose name comes first in the title (technically speaking): Grim. Grim, the personification of Death with an inexplicable Jamaican accent, is bizarrely the straight man in this show… well, usually. When he has to deal with Billy, he plays the role with ease, but with Mandy, Grim can sometimes get a bit silly, though rarely to Billy’s level. As he is typically what allows the strange and supernatural hijinks of the show to occur, be it on purpose or inadvertently, he’s easily the coolest main character, and due to his put-upon nature and how sympathetic he ends up being due to the shit Billy and Mandy put him through, he’s also the most likable.

Billy is up next, and he is the stereotypical idiot comic relief character cranked up to 11. He’s stupid to the point it is stated by his principal in one episode that a shovel and two candy bracelets actually scored higher on an IQ test than he did (they got a positive 17; he got -5). Think Ed from fellow Cartoon Network cartoon Ed, Edd n Eddy, only with a bigger nose and voiced by Richard Steven Horvitz of Invader Zim and Psychonauts fame. Unlike Ed, though, the dangerous and supernatural experiences they faced combined with an occasional lack of empathy and his tendency to be a jerk can make Billy a bit of a divisive character; I tend to enjoy him quite a bit, but there are a few episodes where even he tried my patience. Still, overall he’s an enjoyable dope.

Then we have… Mandy. I’m just gonna say it: by the time the show came to an end, Mandy was easily the worst main character, maybe even the worst character on the show period. She’s typically portrayed as the Ultimate Evil, this epic child chess master who always comes out on top and never faces any sort of consequence for what she does. It’s a rare episode that sees her punished for her actions. However, in episodes where she’s not trying to pull off some evil scheme and is just reacting to the madness around her, she’s a solid character. The fact she’s voiced by Grey DeLisle does help things a bit.

As I said, there is very little continuity between episodes, but there is some, mostly in the form of reoccurring characters. In a show like this, the ensemble cast as well as one-shot characters really need to be on point, and boy oh boy are they ever in this show! This show may have one of the best and most enjoyable ensemble casts in a cartoon ever. The big standouts are Hoss Delgado, the buff monster hunter who is basically a combination of Ash Williams and Snake Plissken, with all that badassery that implies; Eris, the sexy and tricky goddess of chaos; Jeff, a gigantic spider (voiced by Maxwell Atoms, the show’s creator) who is Billy’s ‘son’ and just wants his spider-hating father’s love; General Skarr, a character from Evil Con Carne who is a cunning evil man who wants to usurp power and rule the world… or he used to be, now he just wants to tend his garden in peace; and, last but definitely not least, motherfuckin’ Dracula, voiced by Phil LaMarr and based visually on Blackula, who is basically a nonstop fountain of hilarity. Each of these characters is fantastic, funny, and able to fit into a variety of weird situations the show pops out. And this brilliance and hilarity extends to one-shot characters as well, such as the much-loved singing evil meteor and Jack O’Lantern, characters who had one appearance each but easily endeared themselves with fans. If there’s a weak link in any of the ensemble cast, it would probably be Fred Fredburger; while he’s not devoid of funny moments, his schtick was really overplayed and he ended up becoming an unofficial mascot for the series in the ads, which led to overexposure. It leads people to think he had a bigger part in the show than he did, when he had a few episodes and then appeared in a few of the specials.

Interestingly, Billy & Mandy is probably one of the few shows that really benefited from getting wackier as the show went on. The first season, when the show was Grim & Evil, is, for lack of a better word, a bit grim. The episodes still have comedy, but a lot of them just aren’t as funny as later episodes, and not many of the series mainstays pop up here, aside from Nergal, Eris, and Hoss. That’s not to say there’s nothing memorable here – “Little Rock of Horrors” is in the first season, after all – but the first season just doesn’t stack up quite as well to later ones. Season 2 introduces Jeff and Nigel Planter and has the legendary Halloween special, while season 3 has classics like “Here Thar Be Dwarves” and brings in Grim’s school bully Boogie. They only get better from here, save for season 7, which is easily the least memorable season of them all (though it does have its exceptions, particularly “Wrath of the Spider Queen"). 

 Now, normally this is where I would wrap up, but first, I want to do something a little different. I’m going to list the 25 episodes I think are essential viewing for the best Billy & Mandy experience. I’m not going to review each episode or even detail them, because it would basically be me explaining jokes and how they’re funny. These are just the episodes I think anyone getting in should see. So without further ado…

25. Attack of the Clowns

24. One Crazy Summoner

23. The Loser from the Earth’s Core

22. Toadblatt’s School of Sorcery

21. Wrath of the Spider Queen

20. Home of the Ancients

19. Nursery Crimes

18. Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

17. Giant Billy and Mandy All-Out Attack

16. Nigel Planter and the Chamber Pot of Secrets

15. Modern Primitives

14. Prank Call of Cthulhu

13. Duck!

12. The Secret Snake Club

11. Jeffy’s Web

10. Fear and Loathing in Endsville

9. Here Thar Be Dwarves

8. Goodbling and the Hip-hop-opotamus

7. Billy and Mandy Moon the Moon

6. My Fair Mandy

5. Keeper of the Reaper

4. Little Rock of Horrors

3. Wishbones

2. Billy and Mandy’s Jacked-Up Halloween

1. Billy and Mandy Save Christmas

Now this is by no means a definitive list (though I certainly believe the Halloween and Christmas episode are the two best episodes of the show), but I do certainly think that these are some of the funniest, most memorable, and most enjoyable episodes the series produced.

This show is unarguably a classic. Funny, dark, witty, and filled with jokes for people of any ages to enjoy, this is the sort of cartoon that helped Cartoon Network be truly great in the early to mid-2000s, prior to their descent into madness with live action shows. It actually spawned a pretty solid TV movie, an incredibly bizarre crossover with Codename: Kids Next Door, and a failed spinoff movie called Underfist; I’d go into more detail, but honestly, that stuff is worthy of their own reviews, so I’ll save it.

Needless to say though, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy is one of the best cartoons of the 2000s, a real gem and definitely worth watching, especially its holiday specials which are among the best holiday specials, if not THE best (that Christmas episode is a strong contender). I kinda wish this show would get a revival of some kind, because even with the glut of comedy shows we have these days, as long as Maxwell Atoms is at the helm, I can’t see this show failing to stand out in the crowd… no show with such ballsy dark comedy and radar-dodging innuendos could ever be unwelcome.

[britonell]

Bit more about Japanese culture and anime...

There was some interest after this Inuyasha post. Thought it would be cool to go more in-depth and relate it to anime, so next time you watch something you can go, “Oh yeah. That happens over there.”

No, THAT doesn’t happen in Japan.

As a word of caution: I grew up near Tokyo in the 90′s, when the economic bubble had burst but your average family didn’t feel the effects until later. Culture may have shifted slightly after the economic downturn (I know there’s a more nationalistic undertone now, like most of Asia), and everything I say will not apply to all of Japan. Places like Sapporo and Ōsaka have their own distinct cultures, like how New York and Texas are uniquely different.

But since most anime are set in or are geared towards the Tokyo crowd, I have a good idea of the cultural influences. Especially when relating it to Inuyasha, which was published and set in the 90′s (at least in Kagome’s modern time).

Memories~

Also, what I’m about to say below is about Japan (Tokyo). Please don’t start applying it to other countries in Asia, or you will be laughably misled.

Additionally, I’m not some researcher who did extensive study on my own culture. I’m just relating to y’all my background, experiences, and the little bit of knowledge I’ve gleaned from my memories of living there as a little girl, as well as from stories shared by my parents.

Suffice it to say, you should not cite me for your research paper.

You’re on your own, suckers!

I didn’t want to bother making multiple posts, so this is gonna be looooong. It’s not all roses either. If you have this fantastic, perfect vision of Japan, turn back now! You hear me?

Now then.

Are you ready, kids?

HERE. WE. GOOOOO!!!

When I was in Japan, public elementary schools still ran 6 days a week (half-days on Saturdays, when we did nothing productive). Now only some private schools run for 6 days. But what I remember is the nutritious lunches. They were definitely healthier than pizza. And we had to drink all. That. Damn. Milk.

Whoa. The bottle I had to finish was a little smaller than that.

Note: I know most Asians are lactose intolerant, but no classmate of mine ever got a stomachache. We definitely weren’t drinking soy milk. It could’ve been processed/long-life milk. I’ve heard people with lactose intolerance in Japan drinking milk just fine, but traveling to the US and symptoms showing up. Dunno what’s different between our milk supplies.

You’ll find teachers pushing kids to drink their milk. You got mocked by your classmates if you failed to finish your bottle or carton. Reason is, we just don’t get a lot of calcium in out diet, not like other countries. Osteoporosis is sort of accepted as an inevitability -- that’s why you see so many old men in anime who’re tiny or have a terrible hunchback. It’s an exaggeration of the truth.

Look at that little fella.

Moving on... Boundaries are EVERYTHING: Thanks to movies and shows, Japanese people are aware how people abroad like being physically close to one another in a public setting.

THAT SAID, if you and your spouse greet each other with a chaste kiss in front of a young Japanese woman, you’re gonna hear a high-pitched squeal or a giggle -- not out of disapproval, mind you. It’s just not something you see everyday in Japan. Older folks and men who’re too cool to care will just avert their gaze. Or laugh awkwardly.

Awkward laughing is our thing.

A possible reaction to public kissing, along with awkward laughing. Not for the hip and cool kids, though. They might whistle at you.

Japan has some clear social rules about what can be done in specific situations. At least, it’s clear to us. People visiting might get a serious whiplash.

Example: I remember there being a channel that ran news programs during the day. What I didn’t know at the time was that after 10 pm -- BAM, topless host of an erotic game show. It was the parents’ responsibility to make sure kids stayed away from certain channels at night.

Same for certain streets. Host club workers will entice young women on these streets to drink at their clubs, and they can do that because kids and families don’t use those streets.

Don’t let the anime fool you. A lot of host clubs are shady, like drugs-sex-yakuza-type shady...

However... there was that one time my dad thought it would be funny to bring my mom and I to take a walk down a certain street because he’s a cheeky bastard (I was like 4 years old). According to my dad, there was utter silence as host club workers immediately clammed up and averted their gaze. One person went up to my dad and asked him if we were lost.

Hilarious talking about it now. Highly questionable back then.

My dad has a strange sense of humor.

Oh, after-work drinking culture for office workers is another accepted oddity. Spouses are NOT invited. Some companies are strict about married couples not working in the same building. Bizarre, I know, but they really want to keep marital issues away from company grounds. Some private schools even have strict rules about dating, but I went to public school so I’ve got no personal stories about that.

Drinking with coworkers really is about networking and strengthening ties with coworkers, like in other countries, but in Japan you can easily find a CEO getting drunk and wearing his tie around his forehead and dancing with his shirt unbuttoned. Not joking.

Exaggeration of the truth. I say exaggeration because most office workers aren’t gonna be that good looking. Heh.

Despite most Japanese people suffering from alcohol flush reaction, drinking after work is part of the work culture. In the 90′s, if they missed the last train (trains don’t run 24/7) you used to see office workers sleeping in parks.

Note: Pickpocketing is still virtually nonexistent in most of Japan. There’s even a whole fashion trend of young men showing off the latest wallet design by letting it hang from their back pocket with a fancy chain.

I’ll be honest. I couldn’t find an appropriate gif.

Nowadays, there’s capsule hotels (pod hotels). They seem like a novelty to tourists, but in reality are used by office workers that stayed out too long and don’t want to spend money on taxis, because that shit is expensive...

...for a reason: Japanese taxis are really nice. The doors slightly swing open for you when the driver pushes a button.

Anyway, morning comes and the office workers take meds for the hangover and they’ll be back to their serious selves come workday.

Nothing to see here, get back to work.

Next, Japanese language: We’ve got a shit-ton of loanwords. Like, off the top of my head, I don’t know the Japanese word for bread. I always say “pan,” which is from Portuguese. Being an island nation, you can clearly track which word came from which traders and missionaries.

I was on the phone with my dad while writing this. He assured me there’s a Japanese word for bread. He couldn’t remember. Then told me to stop playing around, before saying he’s going back to his sitcom...thanks, dad.

“Cosplay,” coined in Japan during the 80′s, is the combination of the words “costume” and “play.” Even the word “anime” is from “animation,” and in Japan it means just that. I remember watching a movie review when I was a kid and the reviewer calling the foreign movie “a great anime.” It wasn’t a 2-D movie. I think it might’ve been A Bug’s Life, but I wasn’t interested so meh.

And the big anime eyes have Western influences too! The great Osamu Tezuka, the father of manga, was influenced by Disney and Betty Boop.

A modern version of Tezuka-sensei’s iconic Astro Boy.

We’ve been using words and phrases from other countries for ages. We literally say “Merry Christmas,” because wishing someone to have a good foreign holiday in Japanese is just a waste of time -- unless you’re really nationalistic and don’t want to use English words. There are people like that, some of them politicians. Ugh.

Sushi on Christmas? Eh, why not? Holidays like Valentine’s Day, Christmas, and Halloween were all introduced to Japan by corporations, anyway.

I was talking to an old Japanese friend, and she exclaimed “Sweet” in the middle of conversation, which made me pause (she never moved out of Japan). More English words have come into casual Japanese conversations since I left the country, and they’ve been sort of molded and melded to form new terms. Terms I find weird...and make me feel old.

Oh, another thing that seems to surprise a lot of people I’ve met: Japanese people sing Happy Birthday in English. No one I personally knew sang it in Japanese...I guess we collectively decided it sounded better in English? All I know is that, as a little girl, every time I went to a birthday party we sang it in English.

Asked my dad why we sing it in English. His response was basically, “Who cares?” Also, is anyone else getting a little hungry?

It’s not that weird of an idea...because of reasons. The first being birthdays weren’t that big of a deal for commoners until a certain time period (I want to say Edo period). People just kept track of the years, so it was as if everyone’s birthday was the first day of the new year/springtime.

Secondly, English is a mandatory class beginning as early as kindergarten. Don’t think we’re all bilingual, though. It’s English meant to pass tests. I will be the first to admit, we’re not linguists. We learn enough to say certain phrases.

Heh. Sleeping in class is an international trope.

Onto couples and what’s acceptable: If you spot your girlfriend holding another boy’s hand in public, even if it was to get up some slippery stairs, it would be understandable to get a tiny bit defensive. So all those anime guys with jealousy issues? Perhaps context would say they’re being reasonably miffed. Or not, it depends.

Is it an upstanding citizen helping your girlfriend? Relax, man. Is it a romantic rival who wants a chance to be physically close? CODE RED! CODE RED! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! BOUNDARIES HAVE BEEN CROSSED! I REPEAT!

BOUNDARIES. HAVE. BEEN. CROSSED.

Inuyasha’s half dog. He’s just being territorial! :P (Respecting boundaries was a bigger deal in the past, anyway.)

Other than couples-only events or somewhere only young adults roam, hand-holding is really the only way to publicly show your affection. Kissing a friend on the cheek? Unless you did that with every friend and you grew up in a different country, you’ll get some raised eyebrows.

Back pocket butt squeeze? Y-Y-YOU DEVIANT!

That’s pretty much fool-around-in-the-alleyway territory.

One of the few times boundaries can be crossed? The arts. Once you get into the entertainment industry, or become a TV personality or a comedian, suddenly there’s this invitation to do crazy shit.

The arts is where you let go and do all sorts of strange and wild things.

Laws have tightened since the 90′s--the comedians were REALLY out there back then--but even to this day our manga, anime, and TV shows can push the limits of our sensitivities. Movies can be crazy violent. Video games can be crazy perverted. Prank shows can be crazy outrageous.

It’s sort of our outlet.

Our insane, dirty, naughty outlet.

Japanese people aren’t that religious (yes, we’re transitioning from booty to faith): A lot of us put down Shinto or Buddhism or whatever on paper if asked, but only out of respect for our elders who really were practicing. These days, people will go ahead and have a Christian wedding and then have a Buddhist funeral.

I’m not kidding here.

Cardcaptor Sakura!? ...I’ve actually seen weirder.

Despite the up to date youth, past beliefs and ideas are still deeply rooted in our culture (like saying “See you in the next life,” even if you don’t really care about the validity of reincarnation), so people can still be superstitious without belonging to a religious organization...and discrimination against females at the workplace and homophobia can be worse than in other developed countries.

The truth is our culture isn’t perfect.

I’m sorry, but it’s true.

So it’s understandable that people would be confused by the conservative behavior of Japanese people, because our media would suggest the complete opposite. In public, we keep to our boundaries, from combination of culture and lack of physical space.

You know those face masks people in Asia seem to wear all the time? In Japan, the ill wear those out of necessity in the city. Grueling work culture demands we work even while sick (unless you physically can’t get up). Cities are crowded, we’re stacked on top of one another in tiny apartments, but most jobs are in cities so we’ve got no choice but to cover our sneezes and coughs with masks as we squeeze into really, really crowded trains.

Good luck getting a seat during rush hour! You know what, good luck getting room to breathe.

Speaking of work culture: Customer service...best in the world, even the government employees are polite and prompt. I’ve lived in a couple of countries, and there’s no comparison. Pay for these Japanese workers isn’t that great and there’s no incentives like tips, it’s just that their standards are way higher. To a fault. “The customer is always right” is taken to a ridiculous level.  

My dad remembers a news story about a waiter that politely quit after he was verbally skewered to tears by a customer, patiently waited outside until the customer exited, and then ambushed him with a bat. The typical reaction to the news story? "About time.”

Yay, violence!

I know working in customer service in the US can be brutal. The difference that makes it worse in Japan is there’s this widespread cultural expectation for workers to bow and apologize for everything no matter what, because service workers must be humble first and foremost, which is as humiliating and emotionally taxing as you can imagine.

The waiters of a typical restaurant in Japan aren’t even allowed to be sarcastic or cheeky to a rude customer, like snidely say, “I hope your day is as pleasant as you are,” because that could get them in trouble. They could even get in trouble for not smiling enough, or not being as eloquent as possible, or not wearing their uniform perfectly...

And these are considered “reasonable” demands from the manager!

“Grin and bear it” takes on a whole new meaning in Japan.

Our petty crimes are infrequent. Since our housewives are such busybodies, police get plenty of tattletales. But, like in a lot of countries, there’s under-reporting of certain crimes--sexual assaults--due to shame and whatnot. Stuff like train groping? Probably a combination of repressed desires, predators taking advantage of the under-reporting, and the submissive personalities commonly found in Japanese women.

We’re really good about returning lost property, however. It’s like our pride forces us to do so. Giving change someone left in a vending machine to the neighborhood police station as lost property is pretty much the first thing we learn in kindergarten, along with proper hand-washing.

My dad went back to visit Japan in 2015, and saw a man pick up and pocket currency someone ahead of him dropped at a bus stop. Dad’s reaction to this: “Society has fallen.” I tend to agree.

The few homicides that occur aren’t brought on by something like road rage, but more along the lines of crimes committed by repressed people with long-held, festering grudges that snapped, like the abused waiter. Or something really elaborate, like a yakuza cover-up. Either way, it can get really heinous.

Don’t let Detective Conan fool you. Ours murders aren’t that numerous. Or fun to solve.

Why do we snap? We have this culture of holding things in; gaman, which means to endure. It’s supposed to make you patient and persevere, thus negating entitlement, but I can say with certainty there’s too much of it (except in our politics), and it’s bad for our mental and physical health, e.g. our ridiculously grueling work culture and possibly snapping like that waiter.

Our subcultures (cosplay, anime) can be fun and neat. Our main culture, not so much. It’s only in specific events and areas of Japan, like cons and Harajuku, where you won’t be judged for being out there and letting loose.

I mean, we’ve got problems with shut-ins for a reason.

On a more lighter note...hot springs!

There used to be a lot more volcanic activity in Japan (smoke used to spew out of Mt. Fuji).

Natural hot springs birthed a particular bathing habit that we follow to this day, even at our own homes -- we prepare first by showering and cleansing ourselves, and then get into our boiling bathtub to relax our muscles.

In the past, travelers were essentially sharing the natural hot springs, so it was a no-brainer that they would try to get clean before getting in. Habits stuck, I guess. Of course, it’s less true for those living in tiny apartments without bathtubs. A modern travesty, really.

Even our monkeys love ‘em!

...if you’re curious about the monkeys: We have wild snow monkeys all over Japan that bathe in natural hot springs. There’s a national park famous for them. Japan also has islands full of cats, an island full of rabbits, and a public park full of deer too.

Something neat to end the post: It can be fun shopping at their flea markets and bazaars (we really call them that, yay loanwords). Japanese people are really, really great at taking care of their belongings, as evidenced by their temples and shrines. Hand-me-downs and used objects may be resold in their original packaging--that’s how well cared for they are.

Most of the city streets are clean too. Unless it’s festival time~

Went ahead and asked my dad why so many in Japan keep the original packaging. “Dunno. Habit?” he said. Then he went to eat some sunflower seeds. Helpful, dad. Helpful.

[meadowhilley]

what’s wrong with this picture

Part I: A Walk in the (Upside-Down) Park

I’ve always wanted people to like me. As far back as I can remember, though, I was never convinced they did.

Don’t worry, I’ll spare you the self-tortured speculation bit where I delve into the possible origins of my persistent insecurity. All I want to say now is that, however strong or self-assured or even arrogant I may have appeared to you over the years, what I most wanted, always, was for you to understand me, to accept me, to tell me that the person that I am is alright by you.

Then one day you did. It was three years ago. On October 30, 2014, actually, the eve of what could have been the scariest Halloween of my life. This invigorating shot in the arm came just hours before Chris and I would sit down with a team of medical experts who claimed to have discovered a relatively successful protocol for dealing with the zombie apocalypse. Little did any of us know at the time that you, my friends, had slipped me a powerful antidote the day before, one whose real effects would manifest and multiply over the months and years to come.

On that Halloween eve, in my shock at having been abruptly relegated to the ranks of the undead, I turned to Facebook. As one does. And there you were, my imagined community, ready to inoculate me against the looming horror. A motley group of friends that reflected better than anything else the complex composition of my character—character and friends I would need now more than ever. Looking to you, I realized, was the best way of looking at me. The converse, I understood, was equally true. Mirror, mirror, I began. A weird approach to fighting cancer, admittedly. An indication I’d spent too long in fairytale land as a kid. As wild-eyed Joyce Byers of Stranger Things has repeatedly insisted, “I know what this looks like!” By that, of course, she means BATSHIT CRAZY. Unless you happen to be the one who has found a way to talk with your missing son via Christmas lights. Or who feels you’ve discovered a “cure” for your disease in regularly confiding your deepest fears and greatest foibles in the world’s most public forum.

Self-reflection, I quickly discovered, can look an awful lot like an exercise in vanity, its mirror-image and near enemy.

Just as poison can serve as medicine.

Patriotism can resemble treason.

Standing up can involve taking a knee.

Abuse can masquerade as tough love.

And, if you should find yourself suddenly separated from everything you hold dear by the thin wall concealing an eerie dimension you never suspected could exist, then your frantic effort to break down that space-time barrier with an axe or whatever goddamn tool you happen to have on hand will likely appear to many concerned onlookers as the textbook sign of a nervous breakdown.

(Note my weapons of choice: a pen, a child’s fork, a pair of scissors, needle-nose pliers, lip gloss, and a few fake bullets.)

If any of my soul-searching exploits of the past three years ever struck you as exhibitionist—just the sort of self-absorbed, navel-gazing, attention-seeking, ego-driven kind of behavior that gives social media its bad name (well, that and the whole selling-out-to-the-Russians thing)—you are not alone. On many occasions, I myself came to question the methods I’d adopted and to ask what hidden motivations my sneaky subconscious might be cleverly concealing.

My closest friends and family shared these concerns, but whenever they voiced them I justified my Facebooking and blogging and memoir writing as so many means to achieving a noble and necessary end: healing.

Of course, even as I emphatically defended myself against charges of look-at-me narcissism, I was fully and uncomfortably aware of the fact that how we arrive at our destination is bound to change the very nature and outcome of the journey itself.

Social media can have a terrifically corrosive power. We know this. Evidence that these platforms can fracture and divide our community more than they unite us is everywhere apparent. Many social scientists have taken to the soapbox of late, screaming that our devices have made zombies of us all, preaching that the end of the world is nigh, and offering statistics to back their claims.

Showing up regularly in such a fraught virtual environment was a risky proposition, I knew, being all too aware of our susceptibility as humans to the lure of likes, the intoxicating effects of flattery, and the tendency to get greedy and hoard the sort of social capital such attention bestows. Hip to all this, I was a bit like Will Byers, understanding that, even if my initial intention was to use my insight to spy on the Shadow Monster in the hope of defeating it, I could easily end up a double agent in the employ of pure evil.

But whatever. It didn’t seem to matter how often I flipped the perspective switch during those internal debates about the advisability of “performative self-examination,” as I’d come to think of it. I always found myself coming back here, to this massive virtual theater, and awkwardly uttering “Ahem” to get your attention.

Driving my actions was something far more powerful than what the visible world was willing to reveal. Like Joyce, I felt what I felt. I knew what I knew. This was a salvage operation; at stake was not only the rebuilding of my body but the redemption of my soul. To hell with what it looked like. Just sell me the fucking Christmas lights, Donald. And yes, I mean on credit.

There’s something seriously wrong with me, I began by admitting to us all three years ago. And to the public confession that I was harboring a horrifying thing at my core, you responded with 162 likes, 146 comments, and 24 shares, which combined told me what I’d always secretly hoped to hear: that you liked me anyway, that some of you even loved me, and that you cared whether I lived or died.

It was a glorious and strange occasion, like attending my own funeral. Announcing my diagnosis helped us all dump our inhibitions in a screw it, let’s hug sort of way. Within the space of an instant I received this rare and beautiful gift: learning how you felt about me without having to die first.

Everyone should be so lucky. Seriously.

You and I wanted to have a moment, right then and there, while it was still possible. We felt compelled and instinctively driven to enact a basic human transaction at the brink, for our mutual benefit. What we had to figure out were the terms of our trade.

Conventional wisdom says cancer patients need casseroles. While my kids thank those of you who cooked to show you cared over the six-month period when I found even the taste of water overpowering and insufferable, what I most wanted for myself was something very different, and really hard to ask for: an audience.

Hard because, if asking for pretty much anything is awkward, it can be downright mortifying to walk up to the mic and announce, “May I have your attention, please? I have something very worthwhile and important to say.”

Especially for a 5’2” female who indulges in self-doubt the way that others devour a pint of ice cream (ok, I do that, too). Inviting you to read along as I muddled through some early responses to The Big Questions, I was always excruciatingly aware of the bigness of my ask. Time is precious, after all, and far greater voices than mine constantly compete for your attention. But there was so much I wanted to tell you. So much, in fact, that I was dying to tell you.

However lovely the intentions behind donated comfort food, forcing myself to enjoy it in the context of my cancer felt a lot like roasting marshmallows while my house was burning, to be perfectly honest. Every one of my instincts was fully engaged in the all-consuming survival effort, and there was a clear consensus among those deep and shrill interior voices that, if my existence was to mean anything at all to this world, I needed to express myself 1.) immediately and continuously, 2.) to the exclusion of many other worthy pursuits, 3.) within hearing range of an audience, 4.) without any hope of reward beyond simply being heard.

Here’s something you may have figured out about me by now: I am no good at playing the part of Helpless Cancer Victim. No more than I can pull off the role of Classroom Party Mom. “Don’t count on me for cupcakes,” I recently explained to my daughter’s first-grade teacher. “But hey, if you’re open to some curriculum enhancement, I’ll bake you up a big batch.”

Please understand: this is not me acting all smarty-pants, holier-than-thou, self-righteous, proud-to-a-fault, or ungrateful for your concrete aid when I was at my lowest. This is not me judging all of those compromised folks who legitimately need casseroles, or even those who are getting on just fine but would like to enjoy a steaming bowl of consolation without a side dish of complicated, thank you very much. Nor is this me looking down my nose at the phenomenal cupcake bakers of this world who brighten our kids’ days (I love you ladies for all you do—and yes, it’s almost exclusively ladies who do this very important work). It is simply a matter of me knowing me. Of me understanding that the best of what I have to offer is something far less comforting than casseroles or cupcakes, but just as important.

For the better part of my life, most folks haven’t known what to make of me. Like Carla Bruni, “je suis excessive” by nature. I was always too much for people. Too intense. Too far out there. Too eclectic. Too intimidating. Too earnest. Too touche-à-tout (all-over-the-place). Too outspoken. The proof? I just compared myself to Carla Bruni, France’s perfectly bilingual supermodel, actress, singer songwriter, and former First Lady. Who does that?

I’ll tell you who: the sort of person who has been looked at askance, questioned, criticized, and reined in all her life for expressing this brand of intolerable excess.

Someone should really take you down a peg or two, I’ve heard more than once.

You think you’re so great.

On whose authority do you make such claims?

Goody-goody!

Who do you think you are?

Can’t you just focus on one thing at a time?

Stop pointing your finger at me!

What makes you think you have something worthwhile to share?

How about you just shut up already and give someone else a chance to talk?

None of which felt good. If those voices had it right, I’d be forced to conclude there was something seriously wrong with me. The prospect of approaching life in a fundamentally different way would necessarily mean fighting the wild nature even my name told me I was meant to embody.

But still the voices persisted. Which is likely what led to my most valiant effort at shutting myself up: a 13-year relationship in which I was actively discouraged from expressing myself in almost every way imaginable.

Then the most amazing thing happened: I got cancer!

Again, an admittedly excessive thing to do. Not something I’d exactly gone and signed up for. But I’ll be damned if this illness wasn’t the perfect antidote to my lifelong alienation problem.

Suddenly, nobody begrudged me my excesses. No one wanted to be in my shoes. Nobody envied my lot in life. People pretty much stopped telling me to be more this and less that. My body was not a source of jealousy or desire. My manic antics didn’t grate on people’s nerves, or at least not the way they used to. That old, persistent claim that the deck had been stacked in my favor was abruptly dropped. And just like that, after a lifetime of curbing my natural élan so as not to make people uncomfortable, after decades carrying guilt over what I’d been given and wearing shame because my very being could often seem an unwelcome excess, I was finally free to just be me.

The jig was up. My cancer had outed me, revealed what I’d long been concealing. And the only way to spare folks discomfort was to hide the fact that I was sick… which of course could only make me sicker. Repressing, stifling, conforming to expectations—this cautious approach had clearly been unhealthy. Besides which, following all the rules had failed to keep me safe from mortal danger.

Call me crazy, what others saw as a tragedy I experienced as a liberation.

In the Upside-Down, I felt quite suddenly well-liked. Welcome. Just right. The sensation Alice must have felt when she finally stopped growing either too big or too small. Or the comfort Goldilocks found in tasting Baby Bear’s porridge, sitting in his chair, and sleeping in his bed.

The natural bravado and intensity I’d carried into many of my earlier endeavors and that had often struck observers as problematic were instantaneously recast in a heroic light. Whereas in the past I’d been accused of overreach and gaudy showmanship, now the very same gestures were perceived as acts of “incredible bravery” and “kick-ass determination.”

Thanks… I guess? I stammered, totally baffled, knowing that this “amazing courage” people spoke of was nothing more than me being me, only the context had shifted dramatically. The extreme nature of my circumstances finally seemed a good fit for my own radical character. My fearlessness finally had a proper outlet. This is going to sound weird, I know. Offensive, even. But I immediately knew that cancer was going to be easy compared to feeling unliked. That had been excruciating. This would be a walk in the park.

I’ve got this, I assured everyone.

But what I was really thinking was: Holy crap, I was made for this shit.

Ever hear the story about how Br’er Fox wanted to kill Br’er Rabbit in the worst possible way? “Hang me from the highest tree!” pleaded Br’er Rabbit. “Drown me in the deepest lake!” he implored. But please, PLEASE, p-l-e-a-s-e don’t throw me in that there briar patch!” Which is precisely what Br’er Fox proceeded to do, letting predatory spite blind him to the fact that his prey had royally played him.

Like the tricky rabbit, I was born and bred in this here briar patch, my friends. Born and bred.

(to be continued)