#bc it serves so true
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ningtual · 10 months ago
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NINGNING | WHIPLASH TEASER IMAGES: UNBEATABLE BEAT
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nighthuntingclato · 3 months ago
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i actually loved the original movie casting of the careers because those were really good actors (Isabelle fuhrman's clove, as we know, basically raised me and shaped my thg experience) but I will say there should've been more people of color in the career pack for many reasons including how the whole model minority experience of being raised in a culture that has high expectations on you to perform well and make the family proud/their sacrifices worth it pairs amazingly with the entire concept of career district culture.
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mikakuna · 2 years ago
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dc scoring in the 80s by creating a robin with a poverty-stricken home life, addict stepmom, complicated father, followed up by said mom's death and father's jailing causing the kid to be homeless, and overall making a robin who was very relatable to lower class dc fans, simultaneously upgrading their diverse character rep game.... just to turn around and kill off said robin and make the next two robins back to being rich as fuck and having those robins talk the most shit about a dead child who came from the worst streets in gotham.... is just soooo.....
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akkivee · 3 months ago
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colours do play their part in hypmic’s character design imo, like you can interpret tdd ramuda’s lack of colours to his current fit as an emptiness and growing into a life full of colour and fun, and the way ichiro and kuukou have similar colour palettes is maybe to symbolise their similar ideals
so i’ve always wondered why are ichiro’s headphones purple lol, and idk!!!!! lately, between arb’s retrospective cards and hyppotter event, the anime and the movie, it kinda feels like we’re being shown how much ichiro relies on kuukou???? so i’ve been kinda of the opinion that it might symbolise ichiro keeping kuukou’s words at heart 🤔
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hauntingblue · 8 months ago
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Rewatching act 2.... yeah ISHA WATCH OUT FOR THE CYCLE ISHA!!!!! NOOOOO
#ambessa setting up the logs on a fireplace while literally adding fuel to the fire with cailtyn... subtelty#silco spent his whole life trying to rile the undercity together STUPID JOKE THAT IT IS you have the chance to pull it off#isha is the true revolutionary after all... jinx get up to her level#was jinx scared of having hallucinations when the girl she released was gonna touch her shoulder??? and then she didn't#what i find really funny is that warwick knows how to use elevators and that funicular to the prison#also there is a lot of blood when he appears in the prison.... it was surprising#vander recognizing jinx with the name of powder after she complained about it eariler its just crazy crazy crazy#people commenting that its unrealistic how caitlyn bests vi when they meet in episode 6 as if there wasn't a montage about how she lost her#edge because of alcohol and living like shit.... she's not like jinx lmao....#rewatching so recently is so weird i imagine it is as close as being dr manhattan as i can get it is literally happening all at once#also the people of piltover are so dumb... lets let the government implement martial law and put this 20 something with 0 political#experience on charge with the army of this outsider agent. alright. i can tell you guys dont vote in this oligarchy you know fuck all#well i guess in that case it isnt the people of piltovers fault... just the important families that contribute in this oligarchy...#putting count fagula in charge.... salo is speciallt dumb but we all knew that#katie leung needs awards btw.... and interviews#“do not test this or you will yearn for caitlyn's dungeons” be careful singed my friend vi fell for that and look at her... her dungeons...#vander reaching for isha not jinx.... OR VI.... she just stopped him#“hes gonna kill you” and vi fighting vander to protect jinx.... yeah#and then she trusts jinx and the beast turns into vander... he serves as a recognizing tool for their true selves...#their mom being so worried about how to name vi and then names the second one POWDER kahdksjsk never not funny... also the barber of zaun#when vi joins with jayce she unlocks this loser flop aspect of her mother's inheritance.... two losers joining to maximize their joint flop#also vander kinda giving up this promise to protect the girls instead of bettering zaun... how it puts him in a standstill bc it's either or#like damn there is nothing as undoing as a daughter for reals. she didnt experience that bc she died so now vander has to and here we are#episide 6 starts with the end of the episode when viktor drops that metal piece..... hello..... is this anything#“do you think this place could work” underground utopia.... DYNASTIES AND DYSTOPIA FEAR IS NEVER AN OPTION SO DYING'S NOT A REAL PROBLEM#didnt ambessa suspect anything when they spent loke a full minite staring at each other 😭😭 she's lost her edge...#just like when she clocked sevika but not jinx... when there's a strong butch in the area her radar gets jammed up#and caitlyn leaving her weapon behind... ambessa thought she was gonna fistfight warwick or something#the metal thing falling when viktor dies repeats THREE TIMES WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#watching arcane season 2
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satoruxx · 2 days ago
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LIKEEEE ARE WE KIDDING?????
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Wang LingJiao used the chance to scramble out. She took out a cylinder of fire-light from her lapels and shook it a few times. A light shot out of the cylinder. Along with a sharp whistle, it rushed out of the wooden window and exploded in the sky outside. Then, she fumbled out a second one, a third one. Hair tangled, she mumbled, “Come… Come… Come here… Everyone, come here!” Through the pain, Wei WuXian pushed Jiang Cheng, “Stop her from sending any more signals!” Jiang Cheng let go of Wei WuXian and lunged in the direction of Wang LingJiao. Yet, at the same time, Wen ZhuLiu was closing in on Madam Yu. He looked as if he was about to knock her down. Jiang Cheng hurried, “Mom!” He immediately gave up on Wang LingJiao and threw himself over. Wen ZhuLiu didn’t even turn his head as he struck, “Not even close!” Jiang Cheng’s shoulder suffered the attack. Blood immediately burst from his mouth. Wang LingJiao had already let out all of the signal fire-lights. Sharp whistles and bright sparks filled the entire grey-blue sky. - Chapter 58, EXR
It's quite interesting how, in this moment, Jiang Cheng does exactly what he's always criticised Wei Wuxian of doing: endangering the Yunmeng Jiang sect by 'playing the hero'. That's not what either of them are doing, of course – it isn't a motivation for Jiang Cheng here, it's not a motivation for Wei Wuxian anytime else, and the motivations they have definitely make sense – but it's exactly the sort of behaviour Jiang Cheng would criticise Wei Wuxian for, with those exact words.
Yet, no character ever criticises him for this – Wei Wuxian doesn't, even when it was his (necessary) advice that was disregarded; Madam Yu doesn't, even when her sect suffered as a consequence. Even when it very likely played a role in Lotus Pier's downfall (at least in getting a lot of Wen sect cultivators to get there very fast), it's never brought up by any character ever again... whereas Wei Wuxian's action of saving Lan Wangji, Jin Zixuan and Mianmian in the Xuanwu cave constantly is, even when the Wen sect was pretty certainly going to attack Lotus Pier anyway*. That's not to say Jiang Cheng should be blamed for the fall of Lotus Pier, either – that's on the Wen sect, and regardless of both of their actions, the attack was probably going to be a success. And can we blame someone for making a panicked decision protect his mother? – but one's action is definitely more direct than the other, and it's not the one that's constantly blamed.
The aim, though, isn't to compare the actions so much as the attitudes of the people involved, and this is another little detail that shows the imbalance in Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng's dynamic. Again, Wei Wuxian doesn't say anything about this afterwards, and doesn't seem to blame him, even when it's his words that were disregarded, and when the Jiang sect and Lotus Pier were undoubtedly very important to him as well. Which is good! That's a good thing and definitely the healthier option for both of them! If the roles were flipped, and Wei Wuxian saved a(n admittedly non-Yu Ziyuan) person, disregarding Jiang Cheng's orders while leading to more danger falling on Lotus Pier? Jiang Cheng would never stop blaming him or bringing it up. Even after the many years that passed between then and Wei Wuxian's resurrection, he still blames Wei Wuxian for the fall of Lotus Pier due to his actions in the Xuanwu cave** – once again, a much less direct scenario.
--
*Very strategic location (trade hub etc), they attacked the Cloud Recesses already, Jiang Cheng's internal narration literally admits this:
In his heart, Jiang Cheng knew clearly that back in the cave of the Xuanwu of Slaughter at Dusk-Creek Mountain, even if Wei WuXian hadn’t saved Lan WangJi, the Wen Sect would have found some reason to come over sooner or later. But he had always felt that, if the whole thing with Wei WuXian didn’t happen, maybe it wouldn’t have been so soon, maybe there would’ve been some way to turn things around - Chapter 59, EXR
Yet there was some time between the end of the Wen indoctrination and the Fall of Lotus Pier, and we never even saw attempts at security adjustments!
**As we see in the Ancestral Hall:
Jiang Cheng mocked, “Look how forgetful you are. What does unwelcome people mean? Then let me remind you. It was because you played the hero and saved Second Young Master Lan, who’s standing beside you right now, that the entire Lotus Pier and my parents went down with you." - Chapter 87, EXR
#also when i do the chapter-by-chapter analysis reread i do want to count how many times jc responds to wlj vs how many times wwx responds#because from not counting it seems jc might have done it more? and that obviously would serve to anger her as well#(and yet she only glares at wwx when he says something – in her case probably more due to her grudge bc of xuanwu cave?#-as although she DOES talk about the place of servants etc i'm pretty sure the wen sect views *everyone* as below them#and they have the power to kill the jiang clan and get away with it - there isn't fear due to power/status there#plus it's not like she cares about/is very informed about talking derogatorily to/about members of the non-wen gentry (or even wzl)#(see: how she talks to Madam Yu)#BUT that being said she still is very classist (despite her position – both things can be true) and wwx's background probably played-#a role in how bad the grudge was? bc someone so low (non-wen and not even part of the gentry) did that to her... though it *definitely*-#would've existed regardless and i don't think it would've changed anything on her end had it been someone else/had wwx BEEN part of it)#(also yzy did play a major role in this as well but that's not the point of discussion in this post)#mdzs#mdzs meta#my meta#mo dao zu shi#魔道祖师#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#gdc#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#poisons 3#i guess this is jiang cheng critical even though my intention really isn't to bash him#just... power imbalance class imbalance and insecurities fun times
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cerealmonster15 · 1 month ago
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Every time I want to complain that I live close to a hobby lobby as opposed to Michael’s (kind of far) or joann (gone, was a little closer than Michael’s but still a Trip) I have 2 remember it is a blessing in disguise to keep me from making more trips and purchases than I should be 🙏
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sixsamefacez · 5 months ago
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( rambly post + rambly tags )
Ya know ... a fairly common complaint / critique I have seen thrown at the first osmt san movie is that it didn't show the 18matsus enough -- which i definitely agree to, to some extent -- but specifically complaints about kara being shown the least always baffles me a teeny bit.
I personally think it makes like. a LOT of sense if you think about where the movie's coming from -- the whole point of it is to show how much they used to suppress, but also, how much Karamatsu was talked over and ignored as a youth. I think his absence really nails home how little regard the others had spared for him at the time and how he often went forgotten and ignored ( and also plays into why, aside from red roses, forget me nots are his most common flower association ).
I would say it comes off as a more deliberate choice to feature him as little as possible because even the other brothers barely --or not at all -- remembered how Karamatsu was supposed to be back then. And yes, it's his memory world -- but doesn't that also emphasize the fact? The fact that he felt so isolated and forgotten from his siblings he's barely even present in the world made from HIM???? Like ... ouch, man. That shows you so much without telling you to your face, and makes a pretty good case for Karamatsu trying to suppress that aspect of himself and his personality more than anything; hard to find, hard to talk to, glossed over by all...
Then there was the lying to himself, and that only really made things worse for him in the future. Now he's more fascinatingly closed off than ever ... and only now does it seem like the brothers (at least as of the pizza skit) are realizing how little they do. I'm also of the camp that I believe his season 3 characterization makes a lot of sense post movie, though I know that's a pretty divisive opinion in the fanbase -- but whats clear to me is that he's very much about to burn out similar to ichimatsu's burn out, and he can't keep pretending he's fine and dandy forever.
#🍒 txt#unrelated rant but i don't feel like making its own post:#really hate when people say karamatsu is a narcissist because No The Fuck He Is Not#I see it in yt comments all the time and shit and it makes me mad#some people should really not be allowed to talk about narcissism at all until they actually understand what it means#then again the marketing also misuses and HAS been misusing the term narcissist to mean what people have reduced it down to#being “shallow and full of yourself”#that couldn't be the furthest case for karamatsu.#if anything i'd say he's more quiet bpd#and if anyone is a true narcissist / npd haver it'd 100 percent be totty#karamatsu's mask is very clearly that; just a mask. he doesnt actually have that actual self confidence#nor is he actually that full of himself or shallow#none of the criteria of narcissism fits him whatsoever#he has extremely low self esteem that he hides behind bravado because if he just ACTS cooler#itll make him cooler!#or so he thinks.#but people hate his mask juuuust as badly. if not worse than his true personality#karamatsu at heart is super meek introverted shy spineless and closed off#the way he pretends to act and is legit shown PRACTICING acting like this in s3?#i think it could not be ANY clearer tht he's NOT full of himself. he tries to hype himself up in a very similar way totty does for himself#does he do stuff to get praised and be seen as nicer than he is? yes#he is so desperate for even a shred of positive attention he'll do anything to get it. at least earlier on#bc of the way he was treated#but that doesn't make him a self serving narcissist or whatever#morally ambiguous perhaps. desperate for kindess? AAABSOLUTELY#i could rant about this all day lol
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guiltyonsundays · 7 months ago
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Incredible sequence of posts on the dash just now
#to be clear bc i know im swinging a bat at a hornets nest i think both of these posts make decent points#i am a socialist but i do not believe that revolutionary and reformist politics are necessarily mutually exclusive#multiple things can be true at once#capitalism is a fundamentally exploitative and violent system which must be swiftly dismantled for the sake of all life on the planet#and those who enter parliamentary politics in hopes of enacting reform often end up serving the interests of capital and western imperialis#but at the same time#we must not abrogate responsibility by refusing to exercise our hard-won democratic right to participate in elections#its an insult to the millions of people around the world living under authoritarian regimes for one thing and its fucking stupid for anothe#we must be realistic about the state of class consciousness in most western societies and work pragmatically with the tools available to us#we must also try to minimise harm and suffering as best we can and produce the best outcome for the greatest number of people#while also not leaving behind those who are marginalised#at times both reform and revolution seem impossible tasks and yet we must continue to work towards them both as best we can#on the topic of voting - i live in australia where its compulsory and where we also have preferential voting#which means that its impossible to “waste your vote” by voting for a minor party#i typically vote for our greens party - who are the largest minor party in the country and the most progressive on most issues#for example they're basically the only ones consistently condemning our (labour) government's support of israel#so to be clear for the americans reading these tags#if i lived in the USA i would vote in every election#i might sometimes vote for democratic candidates if they had genuinely progressive policies#but no i would not “vote blue no matter who”#okay i'm finished tilting at windmills now im just paranoid about being misinterpreted asdgfhjklk#voting#elections#the trolley problem#reform#revolution#leftist#socialism#marxist
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Simon: *being treated with anything less than optimal love, happiness, care, kindness, adoration, protection*
Me: 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
@anonfromtheflight: 🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓
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phanomenology · 1 year ago
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ramble ahead about time, tatinof, 2015 and changing one's life
tatinof is very special and im so happy they did this video to acknowledge that its not cringe at all and that theyre proud of their past selves !! there's sth genuinely healing about that !! ive had a hard time in 2015 and even tho i was 12/13 and just discovered that online fan communities of things i was into were a thing and was nowhere close to the phandom (i joined after BIG), this is the fandom internet that i joined back then. thats why its so poetic that they sing 'the internet is here', because to me this is the time it started to be there for me. it wasnt always kind to me and instagram was not a great platform to start on if your bullies and other ppl from school were also on it, but it was also when for the first time ever i realised that there were not only people who liked what i liked but that those ppl also have created their own culture and community online !! i was not totally alone !! there is a life outside of school !! i would never chose to go back to that time ever like it was horrible (that applies to any time in the past tho, i hate the idea of 'going back in time' with a passion) but im glad that the internet was there for me because no one else really was if im being real with you.
more below the cut because im an insufferable yapper (dan is a terrible influence haha tit joke)
this all is maybe why i find it hard to go back to watch dnps older content and also the stuff from the tatinof era. dan's sarcastic self-hating persona and phils innocent nerd persona are both hitting a bit too close to home and i want to both cry for them and for myself. we knew nothing back then. we were lost and yet did sth we were proud of. yet here we are almost 10 years later and how the fuck did we end up here but oh my god im so proud of us. all it took for me was to watch dan's coming out video. all it took for them was to be embraced and loved by their audience (us). dan also needed a break which is something that at the time it happend was really hard for me but then i found my wonderful lovely phannie discord friends here. we really all got here together and if i ever see any single person say that dnp hate us or dan hates it or that dnp are cringe or that we are cringe etc etc i will block you so hard because what are you even doing bringing up drama when in reality dan and phil and the phandom have developed the most remarkable symbiotic relationship between artist adn fans ever. they are our dads and i honestly just want to say how fucking proud i am of them for how far theyve come and what theyve done since 2015. dan really did the whole mental health and gay thing but then he did the mental health again!! and i think ywgttn and wad need to be given more credit here because idk if you remember pre-wad dan but he wasnt anything like post wad dan. every since wad he seems so happy and genuinely authetic and in peace. (im ignoring dystopia daily here because that was filmed before wad and his dd persona also reminds me too much of 2015 depressed dan than whatever high concept he was going for lol, im just not a dd fan). like wad changed his relationship with us and its warming my entire heart when i see dan smile so much now. he deserves to be happy and proud. and if dan deserved it after going through so much and coming out on top (literally), then i deserve it too. and phil? i love how he's just so confident now. fuck. (literally). he is not the innocent nerd anymore like he actually is fully really himself now and feels comfortable in his body (crop top, phlonde, etc) and openly expressing his sexuality ! even compare this phil to phil from the beginning of the hiatus!! he got so much more confident and relaxed since then!! like fully, really, if he can do it, if he can strip himself of the persona that ppl have attributed to him because of his anxiety, then i can do that too. im so proud of phil. he is an inspiration and the more he's being himself publically with no shame, the more an autistic phannie will feel hopeful for their future. im so proud of both of them.
like its crazy you go through your life thinking you're going nowhere and never making any progress and will never reach your goals but then you stop and look back what you were like 6 months ago and realise how many lives you have lived since then. it always goes back to BIG when dan said this:
[...] I thought I was trapped in a situation forever when in reality, the entire world I lived in and my life changed completely. I thought it was hopeless when in reality there was so much to hope for and that's it. Time changes everything. With the lives that we have, we can try anything we've dreamed of. I want anyone that's ever felt like this to realize you are never trapped. There is always hope. You just need to believe in yourself and get to the other side.
this everyone, changed my life. and i will never be able to thank dan enough for it, no matter how much i pay for tour tickets, how often i watch their videos or share my love for them on here. i just want to mention this because its never just 'light entertainment', it means the world to many of us and we have build a wonderful and loving community despite the hardships of the past and pointless discourses of the present. like, we can change shit for ourselves because we see these gay idiots do it who have done soooo fucking much in the last 15 years like they were on radio 1 and on a hollywood billboard and hosted various big big events. and yet, they decided they want to use their time to do things for themselves and their community. they have said many times that they havent made a profit from (parts of) their tours but they do it regardless. they do really love us and i dont think ive ever really felt loved by people who i was in a fandom for like that. its really not as parasocial as it might seem anymore. we got here together and we should be proud of that. i love dnp and i love you phannies so much !! 💕💕💕💕💕
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okayprairie · 23 days ago
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still haunted by a dream i had years ago where i was in the arms of someone i didn't recognize but i knew instinctively they were the capital L Love of my Life and both of us were crying and in my entire fucking time on earth I've never felt the chest-bursting certainty and peace and radiance of that moment. and he was saying i found you i found you we don't have much time and i understood that what was happening was real and everything else i remembered about my life was one of infinite simultaneous dreams we had been slogging through to get to one another. and then i woke up and had to go to work like any other thursday. i never even saw his face
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comradecowplant · 8 months ago
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training a mischief of rats to lurk outside his home and chew through his internet cables any time hasanabi brings up korea 🙄🙄🙄
#'dprk was devastated by the war and is constantly smeared via state department claims that are obvious fabrications. but also heres some#unverified state department claims that like are actually true tho! see im one of the good lefties not a TANKIE please keep subscribing' 🙄#or anything AES related. bc western leftists always need to bravely assert their CRITICAL support (which funnily is always all criticism &#no actual support hm hm hmmmmmm!) 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄#i pop my head into his streams every so often and its always the most milquetoast dsa analysis with irony poisoned chauvinist jokes 😒#something something compatible left influencer industrial complex something something.......#the problem with these 'entry to leftism' pontificaters is that wow everyone sure gets comfortable in the foyer instead of continuing to le#learn#im really tired of having to hold up people like hasan as 'the left' just because the bar is so low in this country that he's considered to#be in any way radical or invested in revolutionary education/journalism. i know we cant have WitBD convos on twitch but its no excuse for#straight up disseminating anticommunist propaganda. you can just not speak on certain topics for the low low cost of free#yeah i have cRiTiCiSms of many china/dprk/ussr/etc policies but guess what? my opinion- nor ANYONE's in this shithole county!- doesnt#matter!!! and i keep them to myself because publicly poo-pooing them does literally nothing besides serve my own ego.#anyway didnt intend the tag rant portion of the post to be so long but here we are lol
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elftwink · 1 year ago
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it boggles my mind that I still see reminder type posts about not consuming Harry Potter content, not because I expected everyone to agree to stop engaging but because I did sort of expect that the people engaging with hp in 2024 would at least have the decency to not grovel on the internet for random transgender bloggers to validate that they're still a good person and not transphobic for liking hp still. like these posts are not redundant they are FILLED with defensive responses and excuses for why actually its fine and its like not only can you not stop engaging with Harry Potter but you also want to be able to post about doing so non-stop and you never ever want to even see a transgender person point out that JKR is actively funding and directly influencing transphobic organizations and legislation. to the point that when someone does you are incapable of simply scrolling by because you need so badly to be reassured that this internet rando doesn't think you specifically are a bad person for doing the thing they said is bad. unreal main character syndrome. if you have committed to being an hp fan fine i am not a cop or your mom and I cannot make you do anything at all. but I am not, nor is any other trans person, going to give you 'permission' or absolve you of your own guilt for doing so. that is your problem to reconcile yourself and is not the job of random trans people. like jesus christ enough already
#good idea generator#this isnt exclusive to hp fans this is a pretty pervasive issue on this site#where someone will be like well i think x action is bad and harmful#and 10000 people will come out of the woodwork to be like well i do x action am i bad 🥺 am i a bad person 🥺#oh i have to do x action because of [extenuating circumstance obviously not intended by the op] you think im bad you think i should die???#like. ok you know when any big social movement is getting traction#you suddenly see 100 posts about how actually its okay to not do anything or say anything tumblr is escapism!!!#even though for the VAST majority of users. they are not expected to say or do anything by the ppl who follow them on tumblr#so really the purpose those posts serve is to justify legitmize and spread around the idea that you can do literally nothing ever#and still be a 'good person'. it is to assuage your own guilt#and it serves ZERO purpose other than to detract from ongoing conversations#bc if you were really serious about supporting something but being unable to help in xyz ways for various reasons#you would shut the fuck up!!!! and not post about not being able to do anything!!!#the same way that you shouldnt say that you cant donate to a fundraiser when you share it even if its true and reasonable#bc it makes other people who read that less likely to donate themselves even if they DO have the means#these tags are getting incoherent but hopefully my point gets across idk#i just feel in general we should stop begging internet strangers for absolution. youre not going to get it from there.
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halfdeadwallfly · 1 year ago
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i was just sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast, having greek yogurt with grape nuts - which i thought was perfectly normal - and my mom cam in and with complete sincerity told me that i needed to have some fruit with it because otherwise i was basically eating plain sugar. am i going insane here
#boink#i went grocery shopping for her the other day and apparently i got the wrong yogurt bc it has too much sugar and fat in it#idk#anyway she got mad at me for eating yogurt the other day too#i had had one spoon of it after stirring it up out of the fridge#and she got all prickly and asked if i ever check the serving size on food#and that i should pay attention to how much i was eating and put it in a bowl instead of eating it out of the container#which i was notable not doing#anyway#she also got upset when she noticed it was the wrong kind and said that i needed to be careful eating it because it's basically candy#and THEN when i got upset abt this she said not to get mad at her for caring#which#ok#but i just#god#i dont know#im the fattest person in my family#when i was a kid one of the traits that i sort of adopted bc people said it abt me was that i was 'always hungry'#even though that wasnt true#that im not picky and ill eat anything which /again/ is not true#and now that im older i can just tell. that people look at me and think i'm gluttonous. like it's a sin right#and i know especially with my family that that's what theyre thinking about me#i already have so much guilt about wanting things and enjoying things#like this year at school i feel like i was doing so well with that kind of thing#and i gained weight of course i did of course#and thats shitty and whatever the fuck but also i didnt hate myself for it a lot of the time?#and now im back in my house and its just like. i dont know#i need to work through things one step at a time#and i just cant#i mean not with everyone watching
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