#bc...cuba. okay.

[the-everqueen]

i read crit theory for fun, i write rabbit-hole analyses of miniscule moments in performance, i care about my first-years so much--and i'm starting to think that maybe academia does not love me back. maybe there's nothing i could give it that would be Enough. maybe the academy would rather i ground myself to dust than give me one (1) thing. maybe i should start looking at non-ac jobs.

[cool-and-grizzled]

okay so!!!! i am super super super stoked to introduce you to @altean-mouse and i's klance x f1 au that was born from me posting my og idea, Kaye reblogging it with like legit 3 tags and me dming her almost immediately bc i was just simply excited to have someone get ✨the vision✨

we've been working on this since march(!!!) and we decided to stop gatekeeping it. so. here we go!!

Lance

so Lance races for Altea Racing, that is the oldest and most famous team in the championship, however they haven't won a WDC in years

his current teammate is Lotor

the waves on his helmet are a nod to Cuba and its beaches, and he included the flag in his number

he'd usually try to branch out from team kits when arriving to the track and at least have some fun pants

Kaye did a fucking amazing job with the Altea logo, im still in awe

in case you can't read my chicken scratch notes next to the suit:

he has a lot of personal sponsors beside the team sponsors

he was the one to ask the design team for the lines on the waist

he's very smug that he pulls off the team colors better than Lotor

usually wears team hat backwards

blue fireproofs

Keith

Keith races for Blade Formula 1 Team, a younger team than Altea Racing but it quickly established itself into a top 3-4 team, has been the constructor champions and had their drivers win the WDC for the past years

his current teammate is Pidge

he has a star for his WDC win, and a 'Thanks, Dad' on the back of his helmet

he races with the number 6 despite winning the WDC the year before, he chose to keep it instead of switching to the number 1

he prefers a more minimalistic design for his helmet

he always arrives to the track in team kit. no exceptions. the only thing he may change is his hair. usually down but sometimes it's half up or fully up

doesn't wear his cap unless he absolutely has to (interviews/podium ceremony)

notes on the suit again in case you can't read my chicken scratch:

lots of personal sponsors

usually wears it tied around his waist outside the car

fans went rabid when it dropped (i am fans. i did it to myself.)

black fireproofs

waist and shoulder design for accentuating -> Lance "hates" it with a passion

went the Mercedes route of minimalism

bonus:

bonus 1: Pidge helmet

you know i had to do a Rover design with Pidge. i really had to. and i'm really, really fucking proud how it turned out

bonus 2: a Badly Edited Keith In The Suit

to which Kaye's reaction was, and i quote: BYEEEEEEEEE ILL BE PASSING AWAY

[vixenihy]

Late Night Guilt

Summary: A few months after the Cuban Missile Crisis, Jack is still facing the stressful aftermath and his survivors guilt from the war certainly isn’t helping either. Just when he feels he’s out of luck, someone he loves dearly is there to help.

Tags/Notes + Pairing: jfk x jackie kennedy, hurt/comfort?, swearing, mentions of past infidelity, antiquated beliefs about emotions, stress, anxiety.

Word Count: 1.1k

A/N: this is my first fic! i’m not super experienced with writing jackie, i fear. but i noticed that there aren’t any jfk x jackie fics so i wanted to change that. i love these two, lol. the indents may be a bit off bc i wrote this on my phone and used the spacebar as substitutes for indents… sorry lol. the banner was made by me, and the border below belongs to @/menschenopfer !

God Damnit…

Jack lets out a quiet groan of frustration, biting his cheek and hoping that the interviewer didn’t hear him. He’d forgotten to take the medication for managing his nerves. Not like he can remember what it’s called, though. There's too many names to even begin to remember what the Hell it’s called.

The past few months have been nothing but stress; Paper after paper and interview after interview. It’s a total mess, and it’s his fault. The Cuban Missile Crisis was the closest the world came to ending; but who started this beginning to the end? Well, Jack blames no one but himself. He can barely resist the urge to tap his teeth with his fingers in front of the camera focusing on his face.

“Mr. President, after the close call with the Soviet Union and Cuba, a handful of Americans are curious about your story that led to you earning your Purple Heart. We know there is a movie coming out later this year, but would you care to give a little of your own personal perspective?” The interviewer asks. Jack clenches his jaw and tightly interlocks his fingers as a heavy pang hits his heart. The last thing Jack wants to be reminded of is the people who he failed to protect, the two people who died because of him. He can feel the guilt eating away at him as he speaks, his voice just as calm as his face.

“Oh, there isn’t much to say. They sank my boat, and we were stranded for a while. Then with the help of some of the natives, the Navy came and saved me and my crew.” Jack explains calmly, ignoring the burning hot fire, hours of pulling men to the boat, screaming the names of the men he’d lost till daybreak. The swimming, vomiting, starvation, the close calls with death, and the terrible guilt he faces to this day. He left out all of it. No one will know how he felt that day, because Kennedys don’t show how they feel. A real Kennedy never cracks.

Jack snaps back to reality just as the interviewer finishes scribbling his notes.

“Thank you Mr. President.”

—————

“Bunny, it’s okay if you want to talk…You know I'm here for you, don’t you?” Jackie presses as she helps to massage her husband's back. Usually, she wouldn’t press too much into his day and his issues as she believed it wasn’t right to bring up the stress of the day right after it had ended, but Jackie noticed how stressed he looked and how upset he seemed to be when she saw a glimpse of him when he was alone. It worries her. And though he had hurt her in the past with his philandering behavior, she knows why he acts the way he does and how he’s doing his best to change. So, she decides to focus on the future rather than the past.

“I know, Jackie…But I'm fine. It’s just that work is stressful. That’s all.” Jack sighs, laying his head in his arms and closing his eyes as Jackie helps to work the stress out of his body. He wishes that he could tell Jackie all about his day and vent his frustrations, but he finds himself biting his tongue. Men don’t talk about their feelings, especially not a Kennedy man. He can hear his parents chastising him in the back of his mind for even having such a thought. So, he just decides to let it go and switch the conversation.

“Thank you for helping me with my back, Kid…It’s been killing me for the past month. I think picking up Caroline at Christmas really aggravated it.” He continues, turning his head back ever so slightly to look at her. Jackie looks so beautiful with the dim lamp shining behind her, illuminating her figure like an angel. He doesn’t deserve her, how did he get so lucky?

“It’s alright, Jack. You certainly made her day.” She whispers with a chuckle, glancing into his faded green eyes and watching them spark with life, the Jack Kennedy she knows and loves seems to finally come to life.

——

The crackle of fire and the smell of oil taints the air as Jack slowly opens his eyes, groaning in agony as his back spasms. He goes to grab the nightstand, but only finds a cold metal surface beneath his hand. He stumbles as he pulls himself into a standing position, opening his eyes at last. His heart drops as he realizes where he is. He’s over a thousand miles from home, he’s in the same place he fought like Hell to escape from, he’s back.

The South Pacific.

Following the same routine he’s done a hundred times before, Jack leaps off the side of the creaking bow and swims out towards the voices of his crew. They scream and cry out for their skipper and their mothers, a haunting sound he’s listened to too many times before. Just as he’s about to reach one man, he sees a head disappear below the waves. Gasping with fear, Jack dives below the waves and claws his way downwards, the darkness of the sea making it impossible for Jack to see the face of the man he’s trying to save. But just as he reaches out, he slips out of his reach. And he helplessly watches the figure disappear into the dark abyss.

Jack awakes with a start, jolting to find himself back in the luxurious bedroom he’s lived in for the past few years. He sits up gently, bringing himself back to the present with a deep sigh. Attempting to alleviate his back pain, Jack brings his knees to his chest and lies his head on his arms. A tightness settles in his heart as guilt festers in his mind. He forces back a few tears as he remembers one of the hardest experiences of his life. Just before any tears begin to break through, he feels a hand on his shoulder.

“Jack?” Jackie asks groggily, confused to see her husband awake so late. “What’s the matter, Bunny?” Wiping his eyes with his hand, Jack lies down onto his back.

“It’s nothing, Jackie. Just a bad dream is all…” He sighs, turning over onto his side.

“Go back to sleep, Kid. It’s alright..” Jack mutters. But before he can allow himself to drift off, he feels Jackie's arms wrap around him and hold him close to her body. At first, he seems uncomfortable by the touch his wife is giving him. It feels so foreign and uncomfortable. But as the seconds pass, he finds himself warming up to it…

“Maybe we can get away to Hyannis Port on Saturday. No press, no people, no work…Just us. It’ll be cold, but I think you need a break.” Jackie suggests, placing a kiss on her husband's neck and rubbing her thumb over his hand.

“I love you, Bunny.” She sighs, cuddling closer to Jack.

“I love you too, Jackie.” Jack smiles, shutting his eyes and slowly drifting off to sleep.

[mapofyourstars]

@uniquecellest replied to your post:

They're switches but Charles tops more Despite coming from wealth he and Raven have shopped from like Dollar Tree/ .99 cent and similar stores for food, it's a trait they've carried over with their romantic interests as well Charles's love languages is gift giving and words of affirmation Erik's love languages are baking/cooking (i think that counts as gift giving idk) and acts of service (jm so bad with describing love languages lol)

In mafia aus Charles should be the head boss not bc of wealth but bc he does things differently and he and his crew are so discreet no one knows what they really look like. Most people confuse Erik for being the head when really hes Charles's right hand and/or civilian partner that knows about the mafia In pregnancy aus (at least the ones that follow the 2010 movies) I don't think either would a) know they're pregnant if jt happens right before cuba (we can talk if it's like months before) but even then they wouldn't use the pregnancy to get the other on their side. They'd let bygones be bygones (Hank runs the school, Raven the brotherhood, these two fucked off to the countryside somewhere to raise their kids) Hank and Darwin are more Charles's kids, Angel and Alex more Erik's, Sean was the kid that would've kept them together I think Shaw should've caused more angst for them by meeting Charles earlier. Maybe bringing stuff about Erik where Charles would've punched him (Erik: I'd hate to be on the side of Charles's right hook. *Erik 11 yrs later) Alpha Charles Omega Erik Moira knew about them. She did. And she kept it secret bc 60s. They would've been at the frontlines at Stonewall Nina and Peter love Charles to a point Erik thinks they favor Charles over him (it's okay. Jean does the same thing makes Charles think she prefers Erik over Charles) They're audhd4audhd Bad guys need to learn if you want to take over the world you kidnap them both but keep them separate. Real good torture. (Also you're dead in like 5min if you kidnap one and leave the other roaming around) Charles reintroduced Erik to some of his Jewish heritage by doing small things with him (i forget the name but I know there's one thing where Jewish people don't eat or drink from sundown Friday until sundown Saturday) eventually Erik reached out to a rabi (idk how it's spelt) and they start celebrating every Jewish holiday together Bc of his upbringing Charles has a complicated relationship with religion via his parents. He'll celebrate Christmas and Easter but not much else. (He mainly just celebrates Christmas the more he gets older) Theyd run the US for 16 yrs (2 terms Charles 2 terms Erik while the other is vp/first gentleman) Erik thinks Charles has fine china, and tries to make any metal plates form back together if broken (Charles doesn't care.) Living together outside the Xavier estate they have a small cottage that looks like it's at most two bed on the outside but it's super spacious inside and hosts all of their kids and friends in their own rooms Scalp massages help Charles with any headaches (regular or chronic) Erik is more than happy to give

I have things to say because you fed me with these head canons. in order are my responses:

agreed. both switch, but yeah, charles tops more.

raven, in my mind, would be more prone to shop at places like that, and over time, charles just gets used to it because his sister drags him there enough for random snacks and drinks. and honestly, who wants to pay loads of money for basic essentials.

charles dotes on erik, it's disgusting.

erik helps charles out whenever he knows he needs it most without having to be told, and charles fawns over it.

love that. it's because erik is scary to most upon meeting them, but charles running things is great.

so what you're saying is that once charles/erik tells the other of their pregnancy, both would cave and just give up their goals to raise their babies together? I'm soft, I love that.

ooooh, spicy thought. always thought of alex as charles' kid, very interesting. though sean definitely would have kept them together - he's like the baby.

in what way do you think charles would have met shaw? just sometime before cuba? or entirely different circumstances? (I imagine you're keeping to the movie-verse, so I assume before cuba.) charles would have taken one look in that man's mind and severely debilitated him.

praise alpha!charles and omega!erik. (I'm going to get around to writing a fic with that, I swear.)

agreed, and love the concept of it. moira really is a great friend.

YES. with raven alongside as well, I feel.

ooooh, you think jean has a very strong relationship with erik, nice. I feel like that's not common, but maybe I'm just a jean-hater from time to time. I'm learning to love her and her relationship with her dads though.

yeah, I think erik definitely has some neurodivergency there, but charles is definitely autistic in my mind. his telepathy alleviates his autistic tendencies, but when he's without it, he's fully unmasked and unable to gather the social cues he gained by his telepathy. though, it does make me wonder if he has relied on his telepathy for so long that he naturally is unable to do x, y, and z without it, and his mannerisms, actions, and thoughts appear to align with autism. kind of like what came first, y'know?

oh, yeah - erik can hear charles' getting tortured in the other room and vice versa. definitely affects them psychologically and emotionally.

sabbath and rabbi, right? and yeah, I love the idea of reclamation of erik's ethnicity and religion. however, I also feel that erik might have difficulty doing so and tends to abstain from jewish tradition because he feels slighted by whatever higher power might be out that there chose to do those atrocities to his people. I've seen both sides from older jewish people who survived the holocaust, and I think both ideas could apply to erik. the first one is beautiful though.

agreed. I just tend to look at charles as an agnostic atheist. I see him too involved with science to believe in anything else other than the absence of a god.

could you imagine charles and erik as presidents? the things they'd get done? the stark differences between how they run the country? oof, incredible.

lol, kind of love erik just not knowing but thinking it's important to charles.

yeah, them having an alternate house is definitely a big head canon of mine. the house will be a little cottage or cabin with tons of books and two chess tables and barely any metal around, and they go there whenever they just need to get away or spend time away from technologically advanced world. after all, they are old men.

erik giving charles a scalp massage is the cutest thought ever. he'd do anything for his man.

[magneticallyyours]

Okay, I have a lot of future fic ideas. Let me know which of these excite y'all the most:

1) Erik x Xavier!Reader, Fluff. Maybe writing about Charles and Erik meeting, reader meeting erik, where it goes from there etc etc. Overall just meaningful Erik stuff

2) Erik x Xavier!Reader, Angst. The other side of the coin this time, where reader turns Erik down in Cuba. Just both of them malding and seething through the years, and then it fucking explodes during DoFP's prison break + plane scene (inspo: Charles bitch slapping Erik)

3) Erik x X-men!Reader, Injured scenario? Exactly what it says. Classic brotherhood v x-men, I'll make up a reason for this ofc. But the reader gets in the way and is gravely injured. Angry Erik ensues

4) Erik x Metal-controlling reader, rivals ish. I'm thinking the reader also has metal controlling powers. Rival shenanigans with this one.

I also have ideas of writing for Charles. Another thing on my agenda is that I wanna write stuff like Raven x F!reader, because I don't think I've seen many wlw fics for X-Men. A tragedy, bc ppl like Emma, Jean, Rogue, Raven and Psylocke exist. Thoughts?

[redfish-blu]

The difference between how Pacho comes off depending on whose perspective you’re seeing him from is really funny to me. In the first 2 seasons of og he’s this mean girl/trickster/schemer who just shows up to get in your way and look good while doing it. In Mexico he’s there first and foremost to torment Félix but he also has an aura of like, intimidation around him. You could be reasonably scared of this guy because he seems to not be afraid of anything and is always in control of the situation, even if you don’t know it. Overall he’s characterized as dangerous and powerful because everyone who doesn’t know him is scared shitless of him.

But in s3 of og you’re seeing Pacho from his own perspective as well as the other godfathers, and I’m sorry but the little brother allegations are not getting beat any time soon. The whole thing with Salazar was basically just

Pacho: Can I please kill that guy

Gilberto: Why

Pacho: He’s homophobic ☹️

Gilberto: Ask Miguel, I have other shit to worry about

Pacho: Miguel if you let me kill that guy you can date his wife like you always wanted to. Please 🥺???

Miguel: Alright, but don’t make a scene

*Pacho makes a scene*

Gilberto: Okay you’re in fucking time out.

Interestingly enough you also see the less refined side of him in s3 of Mexico when he’s dealing with Amado (probably because he’s one of the only people Pacho doesn’t hate ☠️). That scene of him, Chepe, Gilberto, and Amado in Cuba where he was sweating bullets because Gilberto cottoned on to him and Amado’s little scheme had me LOLing. Literally like two kids trying to trick their mom into letting them have a sleepover. Also him telling Amado not to bring it up again if Gilberto doesn’t go for it, Pacho got lucky bc he probably thought he was about to get folded like a plastic chair. Definitely got a tongue lashing the second they got back to the car though, because the side-eye from Gilberto was wild.

[ikram1909]

The video of gavi talking to the ref after the game kills me bc you have szczesny who was retired a month ago like "okay i’ll just pull him out of this ☺️" and then 17 yo cuba just carrying gavi out like a toddler 😭😭

That was genuinely my favourite video from last night 😭😭 they knew they had to interfere as soon as possible and the fact the Szczesny has only been here for some weeks and he already developed "get Gavi out of trouble" instincts kills me 😭😭

[rahleeyah]

Saucy anon from last week here! Okay since the US election is in 2 weeks (dear God help us) I was curious about something:

Which SVU/OC is voting for who or even just what political party do you think they would be?

This is extremely saucy lmao they're all right of center. I mean. Look at em. Liv hates tr*mp bc she likes to believe she's a progressive (hates the military, all the rbg stuff) but she's actually fairly conservative (actively torpedoes other women's attempts to get abortions, ultimately kinda fine with fin kidnapping a dude from Cuba, countless civil rights violations to her name, etc) so she's excited to vote for Harris but might've gone R if they had a real candidate. Elliot's much the same - he's right of center but he thinks tr*mp is a douche. Fin has straight up said he's Republican before and he might vote for tr*mp but he's not gonna tell anyone bc. Why would he. It's documented that Rollins listens to their universe's version of Rush Limbaugh and she's run her mouth on issues before, she's about to vote for tr*mp a third time. Carisi is probably actually the farthest left of all of them and he figures his vote just cancels Amanda's out. Munch is voting for RFK jr.

[hideousvampire]

okay so bc of your posts I’m now really curious about Cuba and his teddy bear, but I can’t really find anything, so if you wanna talk about it…

RHGRRHHRGTGRGRRRRR I DEFINITELY WANNA TALK ABOUT IT IVE TOLD THE SAME 3 PEOPLE WHAT HAPPENS IN IR LIKE A BAJILLION TIMES!!!1;;#;#!1!!;$!$?"?!!!!!!';;!

I DONR WANNA SPOIL IT THOUGH😞😞😞(i do)

its basically about some guy(teddy) and his dad(cuba) and also jackie

they poor and stuff and since cubas criminal record is like huge or whatevs hes just a drug dealer !!!&!!&!4!!2!1!!! cuba wants teddy to be something good when hes older and all that (he goes about this like all the wrong ways)(he goes about parenting all the wrong ways) chaos happens odd shit happens nothing goes right 😝😣😣🥰🥰😭😭😢😭😁😁😈😈😝😝😁👿😢😁😢😁😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

its easier to just read it 😁

TEEHEE

[drmellking]

ngl can't believe ppl still care about the met gala and what these people are wearing when ppl are dying in gaza or starving in sudan or going through literal hell in cuba. like i get there's only so much one can do but like???? idk, it feels icky to me. (especially bc some of the people i see talking and analyzing and making video after video about the gala, has said shit about palestine but okay.)

[gaybd1]

hey i just need to make this post so i can link to it as like an about me/faq

just so i can have some info about me that's not like all up in your face bc who cares honestly but also so that dummies can read about who i am before sending "dont post about autism if youre not autistic!!" messages, u feel?

not that i get them a lot but i would def get them a lot LESS if there was a post like this to refer to

okay hi lets see

i am gay

actually im on the ace spectrum if u must know, thank u so much antidepressants ive taken since i was 7 years old...

i am trans (ftm)

speaking of trans i am legally male but am not able to change my name and have not yet transitioned medically in any way despite having socially transitioned almost a decade ago

ive known i was a boy my whole life because thats another question people asked i just got Very Good at repressing it

i am white!

yes i am a whitey who lives in taiwan, that is because i am an immigrant!

i have lived in east asia since 2018 and plan to be in taiwan forever

i AM... originally... from the US.... ughhhh fuckkkk i know righttttt

i do not identify as american lolololol

actually i dont identify with american culture in general because i wasnt there for covid and life kind of carried on as normal over here during covid so there's like this huge cultural divide between me and other americans now

i mean i dont identify as taiwanese either lol bc that would be... wild...

ok anyway

i am autistic

what else have i been diagnosed with lol astigmatism i guess

i have clinical depression and anxiety lol love that for me

i am colorblind

i have fibromyalgia and occasionally use a cane

i have a bunch of other learning disabilities and a bleeding disorder but jesus christ you dont need my whole life story

ive had ARFID my whole life and it gets dangerously bad sometimes and im also recently "recovered" from anorexia lets hope it stays that way

i was raised evangelical christian but now i have Trauma about it

im still spiritual and am somewhat involved in buddhism

i have trauma about family issues like a shitty dad and fucked up siblings and parentification, all that jazz

i am fluent in english and spanish but my mandarin is actually not that good (like enough to get around obviously but i cant read and write like at all)

oh im a teacher and im trying to finish my masters #privilege

idk what else is interesting

i travel a lot ive been to 15 countries

i grew up between the US and guatemala, i lived for a bit in cuba as a student, and I lived a year in china before i came to Taiwan

ok bye have the day u deserve

[harrowharkwife]

You did nuke drills?? That's crazy to me they stopped doing those here in the early 90s and we're spitting distance from Cuba lol

well okay so i wasn't sure if i should include the nuke drills or not, bc they were like? way less serious than the other drills? like we did them every single year for some reason but it always felt like it was more about the history of it all than any actual attempt to prepare for a legitimate nuclear event, if that makes sense? they'd show us the old black and white bert the turtle duck and cover PSA video that students used to watch back in the day and they made us practice the duck and cover part, but it was always way more lighthearted than the other kinds of drills, and the teacher would usually always throw in a "we're supposed to practice this but just so y'all know, this wouldn't help at all in an actual nuclear emergency" so. ???? dunno what that was about. the earthquake/fire/active shooter/lockdown drills were always wayyyy more serious. the building our school was in was really prone to gas leaks for some reason so we had to use the fire evac protocol a few times due to gas leaks, and i think we had a small earthquake at one point. i remember we had a lockdown cause they found a weapon in the building one time, and then we had to lockdown for an active shooter/etc type situation a couple times bc sth was going down at a hospital that was close enough to our building that we got pulled into the lockdown radius just to be safe. this was in NV between 2009 and 2016 for context

[mcneyhoney]

i just had this memory come back to me of a summer time fling w this beautiful brazillian girl we met in dublin she was a bar lady n me and her hit it off so we exchanged instas and she was going home in three weeks so i came up to visit her and she came down to my town to visit me and we went on lil dates n the day before she went home we did a goodbye zoom n got drunk n promised each other we’d always remember each other and oops girly i do remember u but not constantly 

[brainzz]

Netflix not renewing ODAT?

Bullshit.

That show has thought me so fucking much. I cried a lot, I laughted a lot, and i enjoyed a lot. It covers all the bases, from comedy, to talking and showing homophobia, mental health issues, inmigration, drugs, and many other things. I have just finished it and i am bawling my eyes out. This Is, not exaggerating, the best show in all Netflix.

Watch it

[jongupmoons]

Happy birthday angel!

So where does one begin with a simple birthday message to a very dear friend. I thought about it a lot, I still am, so lets get through this together. I love you very much, I always say too much, you know crushes, but besides that, I think you really can’t love someone too much, thats what my family taught me. Some days I think you hate me and deserve better, or I will purposely say the wrong thing to make you think twice about me, but you see through that. Send me a Kehlani tweet to make me feel better but I honestly got more mad, but I don’t have people who care about me like you do, it annoys ME, it frustrates me, but in a good way. You always keep me thinking, thats why this had to be said or rather posted. I just want to be better, to be your friend, for a long time, I don’t have many friends around my age and sometimes it scares me, it makes me think i’m doing something wrong. Please know this if I was hiding something from you, would I be up this late to write this, honestly? Would I spend my days thinking about you and how your day went? You don’t know the feeling I get when I get a message from you, I literally jump up to get the phone, the computer, whatever it is. There is so much of you that I love (so cheesy). You are so pretty, I heard your voice once, but I wanted to hear it again and again, I don’t like seeing you sad. I want to make you laugh by saying dumb things. I don’t even think i’m funny to tell you the truth, but the more you say it, the better I feel. You know I said I’m taking a break which is so fucking dumb considering the fact how much I talk to you. Like how the hell can I go a day without you, its so hard, so fucking hard. You ramble about the things you like, its so cute but i’m like why do I care so much. I like hearing about the places you go, it makes me want to travel too. I say oh you are too much, but in reality, I can’t get enough, I like the attention, I like it and want more. You think of me, its so flattering and kind, you are so sweet, funny, and you deserve everything you want out of life. Internet friends are something different, new, refreshing, and just amazing. Imagine me never messaging you, would I be sad still? I can’t even think about it, I never want to feel the way I felt when I wasn’t your friend. Happy Birthday Mary, and many more happy days will come your way, that is what you deserve and WILL get, don’t tell me i’m wrong, because I am not. Enjoy the day, think of what makes you happy and I haven’t said this in awhile but guess what??? I’m proud of you, I love you. And I am so sorry for pushing you away, its not what I want to do, but its easy and painful, its something this fool is used too. @shouldbehere

[cockdestroyer32]

all mine

tangerine x fem!reader

word count: 2304

summary: after the events in the bullet train in tokyo, you and ladybug have a new job in a new place, unfortunately, you're not alone.

a/n: okay so in this reader's codename is sarin. and you're besties w ladybug bc I lov him. title is from brent faiyaz's 'all mine' which has nothing to do with this fic but I didn't know what to name this and I rlly love that song so. also no smut in this.

When I grow up, I wanna be famous I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies, when I grow up I wanna see the world, drive nice cars, I wanna have groupies.

The song blew out of the car’s speakers, and both you and Ladybug sang each word perfectly (and very obnoxiously, you were practically yelling out the lyrics.) He drove and you sat in the passenger seat, you both swinging your arms around dancing tirelessly as the citizens of Greece who were able to spy inside the moving car judged your shameless partying. You hadn’t seen Ladybug in months, so when you found out you were finally going to be assigned to a mission together again, you both beamed, and got together to plan your entire trip from the cities of New York to the city of Larissa. You went from cackling a little too loudly at comedy movies on the plane, to endless chatter at the airport, to listening to your iconic super duper awesome 2000s hits playlist on a rented Jeep (the playlist title was Ladybug’s decision.) There’s no one you’d rather work with. Except…you weren’t working alone tonight. 

This hit wasn’t just any hit, it was a stakeout. So, Lemon and Tangerine were called. 

You had walked into Tangerine a few times before; New Zealand, Cuba, Romania, and Tokyo, of course. You’d been the longest with him while in Tokyo, when you had to team up because of a lost briefcase. He was incredibly irritating and the different ways you both did your job clashed immensely, but by the end of the night you two had worked frustratingly well together. 

You’d never met Lemon before though, you hoped to God he wasn’t just a Tangerine 2. 

“Oh, boo!” Ladybug starts and you join him when you look up.

“Booo!” You yell out at the warehouse as if it’s just told some awful joke at a stand-up show.

The building has the same architectural creativity as a cardboard box. Except that instead of brown, it’s grey and dirty, and instead of holding a gift you just spent the last days waiting anxiously to arrive at your home, it just holds the next gruesome hours you’ll spend planning your hit.

You and Ladybug allow The Pussycat Dolls to finish the last few seconds of their song and turn off BlueTooth before you can be sad about not singing Britney.

You sigh and say, “It’s gonna be a long night.”

“Yep, but the sooner we do it sooner we’re done. Come on, let’s meet the fruit duet.” You chuckle.

The warehouse acted as a lighthouse, the nighttime a sea of nothingness. You can spot the remnants of the trucks that passed by in this area marked in the muddy ground. Tonight smells of wet grass and fancy dinner parties, the ones you should be in right now.

You enter the warehouse, the night’s cold air vanishes and it shifts to a warm, still atmosphere. You take off your coat. Tangerine and two other men are already in the room. Even at such a dead spot in town, Tangerine is still dressed elegantly, sporting a blue striped suit that fitted him perfectly, and smelling of rich men’s perfume. You often wondered if he could fight in those suits. Although you loved a good luxurious suit—God knows your blood money could buy one, your closet was full of Versace, Vivienne Westwood, Dolce & Gabbana and Burberry—you preferred to wear more tactical outfits for the job, you know, in case someone fucked something up and everything went to shit.

“That’s Lemon, by the way.” Ladybug whispers to you, while pointing his head to the man standing in front of Tangerine.

“What? I thought they were supposed to be twins,” Ladybug shrugs.

“Um, I hope we’re not late…you’re Lemon I suppose?” You pretend like Ladybug didn’t just tell you and offer a handshake. He takes it.

“That’s right, and you’re...”

“Sarin.”

You look over to his brother.

“Tangerine.” A nod, no handshake.

“Sarin.”

“You’ve met Ladybug.” You say to the two brothers.

“Yes, we had the pleasure.” The taller man doesn’t hide the sarcasm.

“Accommodating as always, Tangerine.”

“So, shall we?” Says the other man in the room, the one who was managing this whole thing, and you all follow him.

He takes you to a desk where there lie multiple files on different workers and a big map layout of the warehouse. The man shows all of you the place, discussing what approach the team should take for the mission, at what time each one should arrive at the building, the shift times of each warehouse worker, the spots each one should be in…and so on and so forth. Time passes relatively quickly, demanding you and Ladybug a secret high-five, and you all turn to look at the man who’d organized this.

“Yeah. That’s it.” The man repeats.

“Yeah.” You agree, still looking at him.

“You can go home now.” He practically demands.

“Uhh, I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to get paid now,” Lemon adds.

“You’ll get paid after you get the job done.”

“Did you not get the memo lad? We get first half now and second half after the job is done.” Tangerine said.

“Yeah, we’re supposed to get paid now, didn’t our handler message you?” You asked honestly.

“Well I didn’t bring the money, so what do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know, but we’re getting paid.” Tangerine insisted.

“There are lots of ATMs in Larissa…” Ladybug spoke. The man mutters some curse word under his breath,

“Fine. I’ll get you your fucking money, but you’re gonna have to wait.” He disappears from sight, making his way up the stairs in the corner of the building.

“Damn, what a Gordon.” Lemon remarks.

“Thomas the Tank Engine?” You ask.

“Yeah.”

“Nah, I think he’s more of a James, just super cocky.”

“Oh my God, there’s two of them.” Tangerine sighs.

“I’m gonna go get some air.” You say.

With your coat in hand, you make your way to a backdoor on the side of the warehouse. Slipping the garment on as soon as you open it, the chilly air cutting through your skin. You slide your hand into one of the coat pockets, finding a small rectangular box and a smooth metallic item. You fish one of the cigarettes out of the box and light it, inhaling the nicotine, warming your body while letting yourself freeze in the moment. You were so far out of town that you couldn’t hear any of the cars, any of the people in Larissa, your team also seemed to be particularly quiet inside the building. Here, it was silent, save for crickets chirping in the vast nothingness that was the field at nighttime. Tomorrow it’d be full of people, receiving and delivering new packages, trucks coming and going and workers arguing amongst each other, all their chatter overlapping, sounds of life, until you all arrive and the sounds of an active workplace morph into that of an action movie, slashing and yelling (no guns, this was supposed to be a somewhat subtle and more practical job) and then, nothing. The building once again ghost quiet, but this time painted red. 

It didn’t bother you. You’d been in this business for way too long to be perturbed by the sounds of the dead now. You knew what you were getting yourself into from the beginning, this is no bombshell. Although the still of a city that’s beginning to fall asleep is much better than one that had its commotion ripped away from it. So you took these quiet moments you had to yourself and held them tightly in your hand, like some old trinket gifted to you by someone special. And for a few moments, as you exhaled the smoke out of your body, you felt outside of space and time, frozen in the moment, your feet planted on the ground, scared that if you move even an inch, you’ll fall off the face of the earth. You melt off the moment when you feel a pair of eyes on you.

Tangerine stands by the back door on your right, looking at you. You’re not sure how long he’s been there, but he has a calm look on his face, a smile on his eyes but not on his lips, by far much different than all of the ticked-off facial expressions you’d seen on him before.

“The fuck are you looking at?” You tease.

“Geez. I’ve just come to get some air.” He walks in your direction. You offer him your cigarette, he takes it. You two breathe together for a while before you ask,

“Do you like this?”

“What? Jobs in the middle of nowhere handled by some fucking dickhead who can’t even pay us right?”

“No. This.” You look around, motioning slightly to your surroundings, “The quiet. We don’t get a lot of it in our job.”

“I suppose we don’t,” He passes the cigarette back to you. “It is kinda nice, I can hear my thoughts for once, don’t have to listen to Lemon yapping about.”

You snort. “He’s nice. I was scared he was gonna be like you.”

“What? I’m nice.”

You stare at him.

“How am I not nice?” He continues.

“How are you not nice? Okay let’s see, you’re impatient, you’re always irritated, you look like you’re constantly on the edge of throwing a fit, you’re always cursing people out and you always got that look on your face of a teen girl who just got her phone taken away by her parents.”

He takes this in for a second, surprised at the speed of your answer, as if you’d been waiting for this moment for a while, and maybe you were.

“Hm…still think I’m nice.” He adds, you smile to yourself, nodding your head in fake disbelief.

You can feel his eyes on you, even as you take another puff on your cigarette and stare at the darkness. You don’t look back, refusing to give him the satisfaction.

“S, Fruit, guy’s back.” Ladybug pops out of the door, and you follow him back into the building, followed then by Tangerine. 

The man now holds bags of money, one for you and Ladybug, and one for Lemon and Tangerine. You finally leave the warehouse, each of you making your way to your hotel rooms. And you would’ve been able to wash the night off your body and rest on the hotel’s comfy bed, if it wasn’t for the misplaced amounts of money. See, your bag and Ladybug’s held only his share, not yours. Thankfully, it wasn’t some scam, your money was placed along with Lemon and Tangerine’s. So, now you’re going up an elevator to Tangerine’s room to get your share. You knock on 215 and he opens the door.

“Hey.”

“Hey, come in.” You walk into the room, but only close the door slightly, not shutting it, and you stand next to it, ready to just get your money and leave, not expecting to stay here any longer than you have to. He goes to the back of the room and brings back a bag, “Here.”

“Thanks,” You spy inside the room, the place is quiet, most of the lights are off and it holds only one bed. “Is Lemon not here?”

“No, different hotel, leave no trail and such.”

“Oh.” You’re genuinely surprised. Shit, that’s smart, perhaps you and Ladybug aren’t as great professionals as you thought you were—even if the bar when you two worked together was already pretty low.

“What? Is me delivering your money instead that bad?”

You snort. “No, no, that I don’t mind.”

You look at each other for a second, perhaps you should be on your way-

“Are you staying in Greece after the job?”

“Uh, no. Me and Ladybug are going back to New York right after.”

“Oh.” He looks down, the expression on his face something you can’t quite read. “Are you and Ladybug…”

“No! God, no!” You almost yell. “No, he’s my best friend.”

“Oh, right.”

“Why?”

“Just…curious.”

Hm. Curious. 

You stare at each other again, a smile on your eyes but not on your lips.

“Okay, I should get going.” You start opening the door to leave.

“Wait,” He says, grabbing your arm. “I think…you should stay here the night.” 

The smile reaches your lips, amused. “Why?”

“You know, you could just stay here the night, if you want…”

“Okay but, why?” You tease. He furrows his brows. “I’m sorry Tangerine, I just don’t know what you’re telling me.” Your words are of someone genuinely confused, but your face and tone tell a different story. He catches on and sighs.

“I’m just saying…you could spend the night here, with me.”

You click your tongue, “Tangerine…you have to speak clearly.”

He squeezes your arm, and approaches his face to yours, changing his tone, “Sarin. I want you to stay. I want you.”

You let your lips fully curve up this time, pleased.

You put both your hands on his face, and close the space between you, only placing a light kiss on his lips, then pulling away to see his reaction. He keeps his eyes shut for a moment, as if still in the moment. Then, he opens his eyes, staring at you for a second, and pulls you in for a stronger kiss. His hands at first cupping your face, then one makes his way towards you back, pulling you in closer, even though you were already as close as you could possibly be right now. You shut the door with your foot behind you, not letting each other go for even one second. Tonight your own bed’s gonna have to wait for you.