#be normal about introjects challenge go

[ghost-jester-sys]

RIGHT

so because lots of people cant understand that introjects arent equivalent to their source and generalising them like that is gross and ableist..

heres a list of some of our "cringe" or "problematic" sources cus fuck u!!

- Invader Zim: Gir

- Rick and Morty: Rick, Morty

- MCYT: (not disclosing), Slmccl, Quackity

- Tokyo Ghoul: Kaneki (x3)

- The Bear: Carm

- Jujutsu Kaisen: Mimiko, Nanako, Inumaki

- Bluey: Bingo

- FNAF: Sun

- MHA: Aizawa, Bakugo, Eri

- Killing Stalking: (not disclosing)

- Neon Genesis Evangeleon: Rei, Shinji, Tabris

if u cant be normal about introjects, DNI.

Note: I have asked for these alters permission to post their sources and/or names. any hate or fakeclaiming will promptly be deleted and blocked.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Do you have any advice for systems who recently had a massive influx of new members? Especially when these members present as their own system (essentially like a sidesystem I guess?) We're trying to work together, but it feels like two strangers were suddenly thrown into a living situation together and we're struggling to connect and work with each other (it's a lot of "us vs. them" right now)

We're also confused and somewhat struggling because the main system (A) is non-disordered, but the introjected system (B) has a lot of really awful trauma from exomemories and this exotrauma still affects them (one of them was in front recently and was getting flashbacks of something that happened within their exo/source life) and because of this and exomemories, system B describes their plurality as being disordered.

How do we go about all this? Any advice is useful

hey, so your situation sounds kind of complex - we’re sorry in advance if this response gets a bit long!

first of all, strangers quite often do get thrown into living situations together. this is something that happens quite regularly in real life. it can certainly be uncomfortable and a bit intimidating, but there are things you all can do to slowly start getting to know one another. perhaps try to set aside some time every day to try and get to know each other. you can ask each other questions, or try to find some kind of activity y’all can do together that could help y’all bond and learn a bit more about each other.

maybe try passing around this headmate form created by a part in our system for everyone to fill out as they wish:

getting to know everyone may take some time and energy, but that is absolutely normal and something to be expected. also, if not all headmates are able to click and jive well together, that’s okay. not every system member has to have familial or friendly relationships. maybe viewing each other as roommates, acquaintances, or coworkers could help tone down relationship expectations and help everyone feel a bit more comfortable with each other.

and, as y’all go along, as conflicts and arguments do arise, we also have a post on dealing with these sorts of things which may help you:

regarding dealing with trauma from exomemories, we truly feel that healing from events that the body did not physically experience may look incredibly similar to healing from real world trauma. so getting therapy, learning grounding and coping techniques, journaling, creating art, and allowing yourselves time to process at your own pace are all good things to consider.

often with exotrauma, there very well may be real-world trauma at the root of it, so be careful and ready to help each other if and when a memory of a real-world event surfaces. maybe come together to create a safety plan to keep your whole system safe in the event of certain headmate struggling to cope with a traumatic exomemory. be open and honest with each other, and try to provide support to the best of each of your abilities.

disordered vs. nondisordered does not have to be a black and white experience. it’s possible for systems to be complex, with varying levels of impairments caused by their plurality, and even to have headmates who may find their plurality disordered while others do not. it also doesn’t have to be set in stone - it is possible for a disordered system to become nondisordered later in life and vice versa. we understand that this may be a difficult new thing to come to terms with, and we hope that, as your new side system is able to access healing and recovery, life may become easier for all of you. again, things like therapy and healing/recovery tools may be beneficial here.

we hope something we’ve said here will prove useful for you. rest assured, with more time spent together, you all will start to feel less and less like strangers. good luck to you folks with dealing with this in the future though.

[problematicfactive]

I actually see a lot of fictives and systems with fictives making these passive aggressive little "challenge" posts directed at singlets, and after thinking about it, it really doesn't make that much sense to me. "Singlets treat fictives like normal people challenge (impossible)" but most singlets either don't really know better or they're already trying to be respectful to fictives. Either they know or they don't, and being greeted with passive aggression isn't going to make them want to learn.

What I find funny, though, is that the basic respect fictives expect (and know they should be giving), they don't give to factives. And since fictives already understand introject respect, here are some LEVEL: IMPOSSIBLE!!! Basic respect challenges for fictives and systems with fictives.

Fictives stop judging factives for their source challenge!!

Fictives stop excluding other introjects for no reason challenge!!

Problematic fictives stop being hypocrites challenge!!

Fictives stop making everything about you challenge!!

Understand that introject does not inherently mean fictive challenge!!

Treat factives with respect even if you don't like their source challenge!!

Fictives give factives the respect you're demanding from people who don't even know what a fictive is callenge

It should be noted here that fictives can be read as fictives and systems with fictives for most if not all of these. Feelnfree to add your own super hard challenges for fictives and systems with fictives to try out! If you are a fictive, try them out and let me know if you could do it!

[multiplicity-positivity]

hey i hope this isn't weirdbut i hate our host and i want to. not. do that

i feel like he took my chance of life away from me, of being normal, of having a nice life with my brothers (<- introject) and it's really hard to get along. i don't know what to do. im so frustrated i could cry

Our response got quite long, so it’s going under a cut to spare others from having to scroll a bunch - hope that’s okay!

Hi! This is definitely not weird to ask. We have some members in our system who are in a very similar situation! They’re still working through this and trying to process their feelings, but we can share what we’ve learned from our therapist and other systems and through communicating with each other!

(Note: We come from a DID perspective. Most of our advice we’ve learned through treatment and from fellow DID/OSDD systems. We’re not sure what kind of system y’all are, but this advice may be more applicable for traumagenic systems than nontraumagenic ones. We’ll try to include a few notes on what may help a system without trauma, but that’s not our experience! So sorry!)

Okay so for systems with dissociative disorders, it’s important for all parts/alters/headmates to remember that there is no “original,” no “core,” and no “main headmate.” The host is a system member just like everyone else. In many systems, a host cannot help that they front the most and it is usually outside of their control.

If your system has roles, it may be good to remember that each of you was formed with a purpose that was assigned by your brain. It’s not your host’s fault that they were chosen or formed to be the host.

We’ll also remind y’all about the nature of dissociative disorders. They function by hiding trauma and signs of the disorder from the headmates who front every day and handle daily functioning. So your host may have gone most of their life without ever knowing the rest of your system existed! And it’s not fair to hold something against your host that they were never aware of until y’all’s syscovery.

Additionally, many systems are unable to control switches, at least not at first. So even if your host was aware of y’all, it’s asking a lot to expect them to instantly know how to switch out and manage time so that all headmates who want to front are able to. We’ve heard of systems that are able to control switches, but we haven’t met one personally! So your host likely isn’t actually taking away your chance at life. Until y’all have made progress in building trust and communication, it may be challenging for anyone in your system to control a switch, let alone the host!

It’s great that you recognize your dislike for the host and want to change! We’re also wondering if you can verbalize (to yourself, your therapist, or a trusted loved one/headmate) what feelings exactly are making up the hate. Is it jealousy? Resentment? Disappointment? Frustration? Understanding the specifics of your emotions and what you’re feeling can help you learn how to properly process and regulate them.

If you’re comfortable, perhaps try letting the host know your feelings. If switching isn’t an issue for y’all, maybe you can express how you feel like you aren’t able to front as often as you’d like, and ask if it would be possible for you to spend a bit more time in control of the body. This can allow you to invest in your interests and learn to enjoy experiencing life!

You mentioned you’re an introject - you also may benefit from examining your source and how it relates to you. If connecting with your source is causing you more pain and distress, it may be worth it to attempt some sort of source separation. The painful fact of the matter is that you exist here and now, within the system you belong to. Shifting your focus to what you can control and caring about those who are close to you may help mitigate harm and resentment towards other members of your system.

Perhaps this advice may help you regardless of your origins, or it may not. We’re sorry if these words haven’t been encouraging or helpful!

We will say this:

If you are a created headmate, it may be worth it to remind your host that you are here, breathing, sentient and alive. You deserve agency and autonomy. You are not an imaginary friend, you are not simply a “silly brain friend,” even if you were created consciously or unconsciously without trauma. Your life has value and is not inherently worth less than another member of your system’s. Agency means you should be able to have some power over your situation and choose what happens to you. Autonomy means you should have the freedom of making your own decisions that impact your life. Both of these are important for members of any system of any sort!

A therapist may be able to help you navigate these difficult feelings much better than we can. So if you’re in therapy, this may be an excellent topic to bring up!

Basically:

1) being open and honest,

2) standing up for yourself,

3) not assuming the worst in each other,

4) recognizing that being in a system can be complicated and difficult for everyone, and

5) learning emotional regulation

combined, these things may be able to help you reach a better understanding of yourself and your host, and help you deal with some of your negative feelings as a result!

Sorry this got so long… best of luck to you with everything!!

🌸 Margo and 🐢 Kip