#between a bomb being triggered and it exploding

[frigidlyauthorial]

someone stop me from rewatching the first two seasons of cw the flash it’s getting scary out here

[lieslab]

I wanna cry and I wanna love, but all my tears have been used up

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Hyunjin X gn reader

Summary: After pushing away the only person you love, your therapist reminds you that a bright future still exists.

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Word Count: 3.5K

Domestic abuse and anxiety resources

Trigger warning: Child abuse and neglect, post-traumatic-stress-disorder, trauma from verbal and physical abuse, and anxiety.

A/N: You could go to therapy, or you could just write fanfic about your bias. Guess which one I did 🥲 Anyway, let this remind you that one day we will overcome scary things and it might not happen right away, growth is not linear, but it's better when we're open with the people we love <3

_ _ _

“When are you going to stop pushing me away and let me properly love you?” 

Hyunjin’s words dropped like a nuclear bomb. Your brain exploded and you were blinded by the harsh reality of what you’d always carried around. The past shackled you and you’d known it for a long time. You outran it like a criminal running from the law. 

You couldn’t respond to his words, not right away. Instead, you kept your eyes on the bedroom window. Raindrops hit and glided down like the tears you couldn’t produce. The steady drizzle of rain hit the tin roof with soft plinks. Behind you, Hyunjin’s eyes narrowed at your back. He waited for a response, but you didn’t know what to say. 

How do you make someone understand something when they’ve never lived through it? How do you tell someone all the tender touches from your parents turned violent? You were carved from violence and neglect. The smooth edges of your heart turned jagged and bloody. You destroyed those who got too close. 

When you agreed to go out with Hyunjin, you thought you could conquer your past. For once, you thought you’d have the relationship you dreamed about, the fairytale with a happy ending. You found yourself trapped in a nightmare. 

None of it was Hyunjin’s fault, it was your own. Your own brain sent off screeching alarms. Every time he touched you, you tensed up. Your breath caught in your throat and you waited for the impact. The verbal abuse that’d take you right back to childhood; degradation and damnation, but it never came. 

He knew something was wrong, you’d hinted at things being off. He sensed it in your touch. Every time his hand curled within yours, you stiffened. The only time he reached up to brush an eyelash from beneath your eye, you flinched and smacked his hand away. 

He jerked back in shock. His wide eyes met your own. As you stared at him with a gaze of terror, your throat tightened. You looked away, murmuring a faint apology. You finally let him brush the eyelash away, but something built between the two of you. Your walls heightened. You slathered more mortar on the bricks and let it stack up. 

Hyunjin tried to get through to you. He kept his voice soft and sweet, reminding you that he wasn’t like whoever hurt you. When you went out, he stretched his hand out to you and waited for you to take it. When you sat together, he kept a few inches of space between your bodies. He let you be the one to initiate the contact. 

You struggled with it. How do you put your trust in someone when your trust has been broken since birth? How do you hand someone the broken shards of your heart? Every time he stretched his hand out, you stared at it longingly.

Love turned into a loaded gun. You loved Hyunjin, you swore you did, but when it came to physical touch, you couldn’t. Your kisses were cold. When your lips connected, you longed to be anywhere else. So unnatural, you couldn’t get your body to move properly. Your hands curled up into fists, or you dug them into the fabric of your clothes. 

He wasn’t hurting you, but your brain hurt. You should have been focused on him. The softness of his lips, the scent of sandalwood and sage, the warmth he provided. He wanted to be your safe haven, but in your head, he created a prison. You grew terrified and paralyzed, afraid to fuck it up, afraid to do it all wrong.

You wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t his fault you were shackled by the past, but your terror grew. You picked up on the signs of his frustration. The way he looked away after he kissed you, the brief narrowed eyes, and inhale through his nose. Flared nostrils and the cold shoulder he gave you when he walked away. 

Why couldn’t he be enough? What was he doing wrong? He sat with the unanswered questions late at night. In the bed, you rolled over as far away from him as possible. He thought asking you to move in was for the best. He thought it’d help you open up, but you were so stubborn. You kept your demons housed in the depth of your soul. 

He sat, he waited, and he hoped. He silently prayed that something would happen between the two of you. Maybe your walls would crumble and you’d finally let him in. He really did love you. He liked the way you looked when your face fitted with a smile. 

Your laughter bubbled his heart and he found himself smiling every time it happened. Just when he thought he was getting through to you, you shut down again. That brought you to tonight. Everything built up and he was tired. 

Four months, sixteen weeks, and you still kept your heart guarded. He dreamed about love all the time. He knew the way it was supposed to make him feel, but it wasn’t like this. He shouldn’t have to feel like he was voicing his thoughts and opinions to the wall. You were timid and cold. When he spoke about certain things, you shut down. 

Like right now, he voiced his question and you didn’t respond. You watched the rain soak the outdoor streets of Seoul without a response. Your arms tucked around you and a blanket wrapped around your body. He spent all evening trying to figure out how to bring it up gently, but he couldn’t, so he blurted it out. 

Cars roared outside. Living downtown usually brought him joy. The sound of cars, the honking horns, and whirling engines. Right now, growing puddles splashed sidewalks. Most people were indoors, besides the night crowds. They filtered into bars and enjoyed the highlights of Seoul’s nights. 

Neon glows, the flowing alcohol, and the steady streams of cigarette smoke. Bass-thumping music, drunken laughter, and regrets that’d be blurry in the morning. Bartenders mixed drinks, friends celebrated milestones, and Seoul buzzed with the thrum of quickened heartbeats. 

You closed yourself off. On the bed, you remained silent. He couldn’t tell what you were thinking. Maybe you wished you could wash down the sidewalk drains like the rain. Maybe you weren’t listening at all. Whatever it was, it hurt his heart. Why wouldn’t you speak up? 

When your fear appeared, it swaddled you. Your vocal chords numbed and you crumbled. Paralyzed by fear, you couldn’t get out the words you wanted to say. You didn’t know how to string them together and push them out in a way he’d understand. You knew you were hurting him, but you didn’t know how to stop it. 

A silent hand squeezed his heart. He nodded and spun around, trying not to let your resistance bother him. “When you figure it out and you want to talk, let me know. I’m going to go stay with Changbin for a while. If you want to talk to me, you have my number.” 

You listened as his voice trailed off and his steps faded. Your head hung in defeat and you became one with the downpouring rain. As much as you wanted to cry, you couldn’t. You’d cried so much in the past, you weren’t sure you could cry. People say it’s healthy, but it stopped working for you a long time ago. 

You couldn’t pull yourself out of your rut. You didn’t know how to separate yourself from the past. You knew you weren’t in danger, but your nervous system had been shot for years. It misfired, the brain sent the wrong signals, and you fucked it up. 

You loved Hyunjin, you swore you did, but at the same time, you didn’t know how to convey your love. It never came out properly. Being in love felt like being stalked by a wolf and you were the lamb. 

All you could do was play innocent and wait for the bite. 

~ ~ ~ 

“What would your life look like if you didn’t harbor that fear within you?” 

“I…” You trailed off, trying to find the words to respond to your therapist. “I don’t know.” 

You waited for her guidance, but she didn’t give it to you. She stared down at you with a clipboard and a pen. Time marched on again. Curled up on a suede chair, you felt like a ten year old child, waiting to be instructed on what to do. 

Your fingers shifted together and you pulled your gaze to the floor. Beneath her gaze, your body burned from her intense green eyes. She watched you squirm in silence and slowly sat back. 

“I think you know what you want deep down. You love Hyunjin, but you’re afraid of it all going wrong. The wall is easier. Keeping your distance is easier because you’re always afraid it’ll end catastrophically.” 

You took in her words and nodded. “I don’t mean to treat him like he doesn’t matter, but I don’t know how to escape the past. He deserves someone better than me.” 

“But he loves you.” 

“What’s there to love?” You scoffed, shaking your head. “I can’t tell him I love him properly. I’m too afraid to speak up. He just left me the other night and he hates me. I’m not good enough for him.” 

She pulled her papers from her clipboard and started to flip through them again. You raised an eyebrow, but she didn’t respond. Long nails flickered through more and more papers, until she finally stopped. 

“You started to date Hyunjin four months ago.” 

“And your point?” 

“Sweetheart, if Hyunjin hated you, he wouldn’t have stuck around this long. Four months is an awfully long time to stick with someone you hate. Has he made you do anything that makes you think he hates you?” 

The tears came on so quickly, you weren’t expecting them. Hot and fast, they pricked and rapidly slipped down your cheeks. Her lips quipped up in a half smile because she knew you knew. You sniffled and quickly wiped them away, but they wouldn’t stop. 

She leaned over, picking up a box of tissues, and handed them in your direction. “Loving someone is a big thing when you haven’t had that before. You’re allowed to feel scared, sweetheart. It’s new and it’s terrifying.” 

You took a few and wiped at your teary eyes. “I-I just-” Your bottom lip quivered. You bit down on your lip and looked away, trying to find the right words. “I don’t know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel utterly broken and he’s Hyunjin.” 

“He’s so talented and smart. Charming, authentic, and the list goes on and on. Who am I? I don’t bring anything to a relationship. I’m a ticking time bomb.” 

“When you’re in a romantic relationship, it’s not about who’s better. It’s a partnership, you’re both equal here.” 

“I feel like a kid!” You blurted out. “I-I don’t know how to explain it other than that. I freeze up and I freak out. There’s fight and flight. I freeze. I fawn. I feel stuck in a bubble and I can’t do anything. I’m an adult and yet, I can’t shake that helpless feeling.” 

“I’m not around that life anymore. Hyunjin doesn’t hurt me. Actually, I’d go as far to say I feel safe around him, but there’s something within me that’s shattered. I’m terrified.” 

Golden hoop earrings caught a glimpse of sunlight through the window. Your therapist reached forward for your hands. You hesitated, but leaned out and took them. 

“How does this feel?” 

“It’s weird and oddly comforting.” 

“Would I ever hurt you?” 

Your head shook rapidly. 

“Why?”

“Because I trust you. I’ve been coming here for a while now and you’ve never hurt me. You offer me advice and support.” 

“Now when it comes to Hyunjin?” 

Your face softened as you kept hold of her hands. “Oh…” 

“What is he like?” 

“Supportive and sweet.” 

She nodded, reassuring you to go on. 

“He’s kind and he makes me laugh.” You sniffled and continued. “He knows I’m not fully comfortable with physical touch, so he waits for me to initiate contact.” 

“Uh-huh, keep going.” 

“And I think I really, really like him.” 

She beamed and lightly tightened her grip on your hands. “This is what I want to hear! You’re going to do scary things in life, but you’ve known Hyunjin for four months and-” 

“Six,” you corrected her. “I’ve known him for six, but we started dating four months ago.” 

“Six months is half a year. That’s an awfully long time to get to know a person. See? You know how you feel deep down. I bet you’ve been holding all this back and never talking to me about it in our sessions, but this is the stuff I’m here for.” 

You nodded, taking in her words. “I always want to see you win. That’s what I’m here for. I’m here to celebrate your wins with you. We can work through your past. We can focus on building a future.” 

She gave your hands a final squeeze and leaned back in her seat. She grabbed her clipboard, rearranged her golden bangles, and shifted in her chair. “So how do you feel now?” 

“I think I need to go home and talk to my boyfriend.” 

~ ~ ~ 

Back home, Hyunjin stared longingly at your shared bed. He came back here after work, hoping the two of you could work something out, but you weren’t home. You made the bed this morning, but you abandoned the apartment. He forced himself back to the task of folding up clothes from the closet. 

He didn’t want to fight with you and he didn’t want to cause problems. He didn’t want to take a break in your relationship, but he was starting to think the two of you needed one. Along the way, he’d be able to decide if he wanted to stick around, or not. 

He folded a t-shirt in half and flipped the bottom half up, neatly folding it into a square. He grabbed a pair of jeans to fold, but he stopped at the sound of a knock behind him. He whirled around to find you leaning against the bedroom door. 

“Hi,” you said. 

“Hey…” He shifted his gaze away from you, trying not to let you see his puffy eyes. The previous night, he fell apart on Changbin’s couch. Devastated and with a broken heart, he cried himself to sleep. “I didn’t know where you went. I won’t be here long.” 

“Hyunjin?” 

“Hm?” 

“Can we um…” You forced yourself to take a deep breath. You were safe here. Hyunjin wouldn’t hurt you, he was Hyunjin. “Can we talk for a few minutes?” 

He paused and slowly looked up at you. “Talk?” 

You nodded. 

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” He spun around, shoving his folded shirt and jeans to the side. “We can talk about whatever you want.” A creak came from the old bed frame. You needed a new one, but neither of you placed it on a top priority list. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Huh?” 

“I push you away a lot and it’s not fair.” Your hands curled together. Instead of looking directly at him, you looked above his head. “You’ve been a wonderful boyfriend and how I treat you, it’s not right.” 

“I-I’ve just-” You reached up, letting your fingers wrap around the back of your neck. You felt yourself panicking again, but you forced yourself to fight it. Hearing your voice this much felt strange, but you kept going.

“I’ve been through a lot of stuff in my life. I wasn’t treated great by my family. This romantic relationship thing is still pretty new to me. I’m trying to figure it out, but I’m scared and I’m not very good at communicating.” 

“You never said it out loud, but yeah, I kind of figured it was something. That’s okay. We all have our silent battles that we internally fight. Thank you for telling me about it.” 

“Why do you stick around?” 

His eyes widened slightly, but you couldn’t stop yourself. “I mean, really, I-I’m not that great of a person and yet, you’re still here. You hang around and you try to be understanding. You’ve given me the leniency that I don’t think I deserve. Why do you stay?” 

“Why do I stay?” He echoed softly. His eyes searched the room and his shoulders relaxed. “Because I love you. I think some people need time to sort things out internally. I stay because I want to. I have faith that no matter what you’re dealing with, I can help you figure it out.” 

“The heart is a wild and vulnerable thing. To be loved is to be known and I don’t think I want to be known by anyone more than I want to be known by you.” 

“But why?” 

His nose scrunched and he tipped his head. A distant memory unraveled in the back of his head. “I think the first time I realized it, we were strolling down the path by the Han River. The sun hit you just right and you were the most breathtaking thing.” 

“The Han River is such a beautiful thing. There’s nature and people everywhere, but I couldn’t stop staring at you. You draw my soul to yours like a magnet. The sun hit your eyes in such a way, I think about it all the time. We had our first kiss right there.” 

“And during that kiss, you kissed me back. Perhaps, I was mistaken, but I think you were in love with me as much as I was in love with you right there.” He reached up, letting his fingers run along his bottom lip, as he experienced the moment again. 

“My soul ignited and I felt alive. My heart burst into a swarm of butterflies. You kissed me back and I don’t know if you remember, but you grabbed my t-shirt and tugged me closer. I realized you liked me as much as I liked you. We became a single entity and the rest of the world went silent.” 

You knew exactly what he was talking about. The chattering voices and honking geese halted. You walked over and sat beside him, letting your thigh touch his. The water stilled and your fear dissolved. You were swallowed by passion and you never wanted it to stop. 

“I think it was then, I realized you loved me, but you needed time. I wasn’t going to force you into something you didn’t want to do. How could I do that to someone I love?” 

He looked over, letting your eyes meet. Your heart skipped a beat and your eyes found his lips. Nothing else mattered for a moment. You shed the fear and your wings sprouted. You were doing it. Your hand slowly reached out and cupped his cheek. “Hyunjin?” You whispered. 

“Yes, darling?” 

“Can I kiss you?” 

“Always.” 

You reached up with a cautious hand. Your eyes caught his, your hand cupped the warmth of his cheek, and then you melted. Honey-sweetened lips met yours. Your eyes fluttered shut and you couldn’t breathe. His chapstick sank into your lips. You didn’t hesitate this time, you picked love over fear. 

Worries melted away and his hands cupped your hips. Your breath hitched, but you didn’t pull away. Shared air funneled between you and you moved closer. He leaned back and slowly tugged you with him. Pinned to the bed, he never once stopped you. 

Beneath you, his heart fluttered. Thumbs moved against the warmth of your hips, but he let you take the lead. Whether you wanted to pull away, or do this forever, he didn’t care. 

Picking love over fear, it was the most exhilarating thing. How courageous it is to stop surviving and start living. Your lips moved in sync and you didn’t want to stop. Outside, the city of Seoul kept on with its dwindling evening, but in your bedroom, something new appeared. 

Hope blossomed and you unveiled yourself into someone stronger. Bird wings are hollow, but they still take birds high into bright blue skies. You floated among cotton-candy clouds and drifted back down. When you placed a few inches between you and Hyunjin, you sucked in a deep breath. 

“That was-” 

“Beautiful?” He finished for you. A blush filled in the tops of your cheeks. He chuckled and his own smile grew. “That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.” 

“Should we do it again?” 

“As long as you want to.” 

You moved closer, but stopped when he reached up to your face. Slowly, he reached toward your eye. You didn’t move, allowing him to carefully pluck the dark eyelash from beneath your eye. “Sorry, I didn’t want you to get poked.” He maneuvered his hand, showing you the eyelash. 

You glanced down without a word. When you didn’t speak, he looked back at you. “I’ve heard if you wish upon an eyelash, whatever your wish for will come true.” 

“I don’t need to wish upon an eyelash, Hyunjin, I already have you.” 

Before he could respond, your lips met his again and, for the first time in a long time, everything felt somewhat right in the world. 

| ♡.��﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

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Ko-fi

[thatswhywelovegermany]

November 9, the fateful day of the Germans in history

Nov 9, 1313: Battle of Gammelsdorf - Louis IV defeats his cousin Frederick the Fair marking the beginning of a series of disputes over supremacy between the House of Wittelsbach and the House of Habsburg in the Holy Roman Empire

Nov 9, 1848: Execution of Robert Blum (a german politician) - this event is said to mark the beginning of the end of the March Revolution in 1848/49, the first attempt of establishing a democracy in Germany

Nov 9, 1914: Sinking of the SMS Emden, the most successful German ship in world war I in the indo-pacific, its name is still used as a word in Tamil and Sinhala for a cheeky troublemaker

Nov 9, 1918: German Revolution of 1918/19 in Berlin. Chancellor Max von Baden unilaterally announces the abdication of Kaiser Wilhelm II and entrusts Friedrich Ebert with the official duties. At around 2 p.m., the Social Democrat Philipp Scheidemann proclaims the "German Republic" from the Reichstag building. Two hours later, the Spartacist Karl Liebknecht proclaims the "German Soviet Republic" from the Berlin City Palace.

Nov. 9, 1923: The Hitler-Ludendorff Putsch (Munich Beer Hall Putsch) is bloodily suppressed by the Bavarian State Police in front of the Feldherrnhalle in Munich after the Bavarian Prime Minister Gustav Ritter von Kahr announces on the radio that he has withdrawn his support for the putsch and that the NSDAP is being dissolved.

Nov 9, 1925: Hitler imposes the formation of the Schutzstaffel (SS).

Nov 9, 1936: National Socialists remove the memorial of composer Felix Mendelssohn Bartholdy in front of the Gewandhaus concert hall in Leipzig.

Nov 9, 1938: November Pogrom / Pogrom Night ("Night of Broken Glass") organized by the Nazi state against the Jewish population of Germany.

Nov 9, 1939: The abduction of two british officiers from the Secret Intelligence Service by the SS in Venlo, Netherlands, renders the British spy network in continental Europe useless and provides Hitler with the pretext to invade the Netherlands in 1940.

Nov 9, 1948: Berlin Blockade Speech - West Berlin mayor Ernst Reuter delivers a speech with the famous words "Peoples of the world, look at this city and recognize that you cannot, that you must not abandon this city".

Nov 9, 1955: Federal Constitutional Court decision: all Austrians who have acquired german citizenship through annexation in 1938, automatically lost it after Austria became sovereign again.

Nov 9, 1967: Students protest against former Nazi professors still teaching at German universities, showing the banner ”Unter den Talaren – Muff von 1000 Jahren” ("Under the gowns – mustiness of 1000 years", referring to the self-designation of Nazi Germany as the 'Empire of 1000 Years') and it becomes one of the main symbols of the Movement of 1968 (the German Student  Movement).

Nov 9, 1969: Anti-Semitic bomb attack - the radical left-winged pro-palestinian organization “Tupamaros West-Berlin” hides a bomb in the jewish community house in Berlin. It never exploded though.

Nov 9, 1974: death of Holger Meins - the member of the left-radical terrorist group Red Army Faction (RAF) financed in part by the GDR that eventually killed 30 people, dies after 58 days of hunger strike, triggering a second wave of terrorism.

Nov 9, 1989: Fall of the Berlin Wall - After months of unrest, demonstrations and tens of thousands escaping to West Germany, poorly briefed spokesman of the newly formed GDR government Günter Schabowski announces that private trips to non-socialist foreign countries are allowed from now on. Tens of thousands of East Berliners flock to the border crossings and overwhelm the border guards who had not received any instructions yet because the hastily implemented new travel regulations were supposed to be effective only the following day and involved the application for exit visas at a police office. Subsequently, crossing the border between both German states became possible vitrually everywhere.

[memezs-corner-of-the-osc]

Memezs theory analysis ramble #3:

SPOILERS FOR PENCIL RELATED THINGS AND THE ENTIRETY OF TPOT 17.

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For this post as we went over another one of my favourite characters last time (One) were going to go over another of my favourites: Pencil!

I’ll go over this in chronological order as so so much happened in terms of her here.

Immediately upon starting the episode we can again see how stressed she is around eliminations due to her association she was with them to the exit, the part I want to focus on is what comes next:

Pencil got the most votes this episode and while that’s a great thing due to her time around the vote to elimination system and the fact it’s what got yer trapped in the first place her trauma immediately makes her assume she’s out.

In my unprofessional opinion I’d diagnose this as a heavy case of a combination of Depression and PTSD from the combination of losing her close friends leading to her constantly trying to rectify her past actions, getting out first in BFB and being stuck in the exit combined with the new stresses of being in a season.

I’d also like to draw light to Golf Ball and Doughnut’s reaction to this.

Golf Ball seems concerned for her (as she probably knows object psychology better than any other contestant) while Doughnut seems genuinely scared for her well being.

While I’m not going to dive too deep into either of their reasonings as I have other things I want to focus on here it’s just nice to know Pencil has good people around her who could potentially help her work through some of her trauma overtime.

She immediately reels back from what she perceives in this in this moment as someone who’s going to send her back to the root of a lot of her trauma much to Bottle’s immediate confused concern.

Not thinking clearly she goes back to what she thinks about most: her past.

“Quick Match- I mean Golfball! Activate the elimination prevention plan!”

I’d like to add a small theory here: I theorise that Pencil has autophobia (the fear of being alone) due to characteristics she’s shown throughout the series.

She’s the only contestant in history to have made a system to prevent her friends from being taken away from her and has constantly tried to make alliances to constantly have people around her.

She also seems terrified of losing her old connections for good which is why she was seen chasing after Book and Ice Cube in past episodes.

And if we take this theory as hypothetically true it makes the fact that she was the first person out in BFB semi horrifying as she was fully alone in there for a good while with just her thoughts.

I theorise that gap between BFB 2 and 3 17th of November to the 19th of December back in 2017 caused severe damage to her mental health on it’s own which is the most likely pinpoint of what started her downwards spiral.

That would mean she’s been sitting on that trauma seemingly without talking to anyone about it for 7 years straight which has left her to become more closed off and abrasive to the world around her.

With this in mind let’s continue talking about her actions in the episode:

Doughnut proceeds to reassure to the in this moment due to fear currently extremely vulnerable that it’s a vote to save and she’s safe in a landslide.

Proceeding this she goes back to her current common state of closed off depressed self deprecation scrunching up Bottles drawing.

Next I’m going to talk about one of my favourite scenes from the entire episode: Book and Pencils confrontation.

Book and Pencil stuck together on a horse was always a ticking time bomb of emotion that was going to inevitably explode, Fanny just pushed the first domino over by asking them why they wouldn’t fall off.

This domino falling over triggers Pencils trauma response linked to the exit leading her back to her “I can’t lose again” selfish mindset she uses to cope.

Book pretty much immediately assumes this is simply just a case of her being selfish for no reason and finally after the internal emotions of years of mistreatment boils to the surface she finally fully calls her out on it due to their long and storied history in terms of their relationship.

Pencil snaps back with her mindset of trying to fix her past mistakes by trying desperately getting Book to join her alliance again due to her depreciating herself as the reason for why all her old relationships fell apart.

This leads to one of the most important scenes (and my personal favourite shot by far) of this episode.

How it’s posed, the facial expressions, the setting and the tone all blend perfectly to make the climax of this scene hit even harder.

Book after all these years of keeping it to herself finally says to Pencils face that “I will never be in an alliance with you again!”.

Pencil metaphorically and literally scuffling to try to get her past back asks “Why not?” wondering why she can’t go back, why things are so different now, why she can’t mend her relationship with her.

……and with 3 small stabbing words Book tells Pencil exactly why.

“I hate you!”

3 small words, 3 words in this moment hurt more then any death she’s been through right here.

(Also just want to mention that following this immidiately up with a part of the scene with One and Doughnut is some of the most enthralling pacing I’ve seen from any show.)

The following scene she responds with genuine confusion and concern at why which Book obliges in answering laying it all out for her.

“You don’t listen to me Pencil!”

After all these years Book finally stands up to Pencil with words that have been brewing since BFB 1.

“I know how it feels to get obsessive and you have to learn to just let others live!”

“I gave Ice cube the distance she needed, so why can’t you give me the distance I need?!”

And so with this Pencil cracks under the built up pressure and just for a moment lets her exterior slip.

”Because you’re all I have here!”

“Book it’s just that-“

“Match is who knows where-“

“Needle’s already gone-“

“I have no idea where Ruby and Bubble are-“

“Ice Cube hates me and now you do too-“

“It’s not fair!”

“I just want things to go back to the way they were…”

“I WAS TRAPPED IN FOUR FOR YEARS!”

“YEARS!!! AND THIS IS HOW I’M WELCOMED BACK?!”

“YOU NEARLY DESTROYED THE UNIVERSE PENCIL FOR YOUR OWN SELFISHNESS.”

“You didn’t come back asking to be friends, you wanted an alliance, TO GET YOU FURTHER IN THE GAME!”

“That’s all you want, that’s all you’ve ever wanted!”

“So no I will NOT work with you, I will NOT join your alliance-“

“AND I WILL NOT BE YOUR FRIEND!”

“….then what good are you.”

This right here is probably one of my favourite scenes of any object show because it caps off everything that makes this arc as good as it is.

The way it’s animated, posed and the setting of them being forced to finally confront each other from being stuck on horseback adds so much to this.

My favourite aspect of all though is how it’s realistic to a real life argument as there’s no black and white right and wrong party here.

Each side has good arguments for them.

Pencil acted like she did out of desperation to get her past back due to years of isolation and entrapment only to come back to a world that seemingly forgot her changing without her and is now grasping for the last strands of her old life unable to let go of her friends.

However this doesn’t excuse how she pressured Book and Ice Cube, how she lashed out at them or how she almost ended the entire timeline (which I’m pretty sure is why one did what she did to the timeline right after the rejoin, so Pencil could cause problems).

On the other side all Book is seeing here Pencil trying to force her back into an alliance after everything she’s done and after the fact she’s moved on from the alliance.

All she sees is her being selfish.

However this doesn’t excuse the fact Book doesn’t realise the main reason she wanted the alliance back is because she sees it as a good way to reconnect with them as it’s seemingly the only way she knows how to reconnect in her current state of mind.

Not even mentioning that Book doesn’t see that Pencil has fundamentally changed on the inside as a person, she’s not acting selfish out of selfishness, she’s acting like that out of a trauma response.

That’s what makes this scene as good as it is, neither side is fully right or wrong here which is what made me want to analyse it.

It allows the viewer to think about who they agree with more which personally for me makes it one of the most thought provoking scenes in TPOT.

This can’t be covered in a term as simple as “crash out” as is as of the time this is written the commonly used term, this is a breakdown on both sides.

Now due to Tumblrs 30 image per post limit I’m running out of space here to write, before I close this off though I want to bring up another of my favourite sequences:

After being tossed off the ferris wheel Pen notices Pencil walking past.

Distraught and dejected she walks back to the clubhouse on her own.

“Hates me, Hates me?!”

“Fine, who needs her? Who needs them?!”

“…..I can do this all by myself, Freesmart means nothing to me.”

And after a quick chat with Marker, Pen follows her in.

…..this scene is just beautiful and so perfectly bittersweet.

Pencil and Pen have had similar experiences with their friendships so to see this scene cap off such a pivotal episode for Pencil is perfect.

I could talk more about how I love how Pen comes to talk to her, how realistic it is she doesn’t respond and how the rejoin was utilised so well but for this specific scene I don’t want to.

I’m going to close this off with some personal thoughts instead.

I won’t specify but a few years ago I went through traumatic events that lead me to closing up completely for the longest time and I was able to open up again a while ago due to some people around me in my IRL life.

As someone who’s gone through the wringer and experienced trauma first hand this is personally so powerful to me specifically and this scene sent shivers down my spine and still makes me tear up when I watch it.

The reason I love Pencil so much as of recent is how realistically she portrays how trauma can affect someone.

You can get irrational, you can get depressed, you can get snappy and you can hurt others close to you who care due to no fault of their own because of external emotion you’re struggling to let out.

All things that I went through and I don’t think I’ve related to a character this much in a while, Pencil is why I wanted to analyse TPOT in the first place.

…..I heavily doubt anyone from the writers team will ever see this but I’d just thank J&J for the representation honestly, this is one of the most realistic depictions I’ve seen in a while of what it feels like.

Thanks for reading this all the way through, I have the post on a few miscellaneous things I liked in the episode in the works and it will be out when it’s ready.

Have a good day or night ^^.

[astrophileous]

Happy birth month to you, Zara!! 🎉

I'd like to request a Derek Morgan x BAU!reader fic (angst, maybe leading to smut) where they are on a bombing case and as usual Derek, being our ever loving and stubborn explosives expert, stays with a target who activated the bomb trigger. Maybe reader is as stubborn as Derek and stays with him and it becomes a thing and all that pent up adrenaline and tension just 🤌🏼🫴🏼 😅

maybe some fluff after too 🥹

Thank you so much love!! Thanks for requesting as well ❤️ I hope you like how this turned out 💕

Warning(s): fem!reader, explosives, profanities, verbal altercation, 18+ nsfw content minors dni, handjob, angry sex (starts out that way at least), unprotected sex (p in v), creampie, lmk if I missed anything

This blurb was written as a part of the "Zara's Birthday Bash and Road to 1K" celebration.

Zara's Birthday Bash and Road to 1K Masterlist / Criminal Minds Masterlist

Derek was beginning to think that the universe was out to get him. It was the only logical explanation he could come up with for the situation he found himself stuck in: standing next to a minivan with an activated bomb underneath its driver's seat. The owner of the car, a woman by the name Pansy, was gripping his hand like a vice, cutting off circulation to it completely, but he couldn't care less about that. Getting blood into his hand was the least of Derek's worries right now.

"How's my baby?" Pansy suddenly asked amidst her tears.

Derek glanced at you, who had been trying to unbuckle the infant from his car seat for the past couple of minutes. One wrong move and the car would explode in the blink of an eye, obliterating everything in its immediate vicinity. This knowledge loomed at the back of your head as you languidly lifted the baby into your arms.

"Got him," you breathed out. You dashed away to take Pansy's son to safety, and despite her not being out of harm's way yet, Derek could feel the tightness of her grip around his hand loosening even if just for the tiniest bit.

Not three minutes later, you came back with a box of tools in your hand. Derek didn't like the grim expression on your face as your gaze flitted his way.

"The bomb squad isn't coming," you muttered.

"What?" Pansy exlclaimed. Even quiet as you were, there was no way you could say anything to Derek without Pansy hearing about it. The woman panicked as her eyes scampered repeatedly between you and Derek. "What are you talking about?"

"Pansy." Derek's voice came with a reassuring squeeze, a silent request for her to calm down. He turned to you again immediately, "What do you mean, they're not coming?"

"Land access is out since the bridge collapsed during the last bombing. They're sending in aerial support, but with everything that's been going on, it'll take at least 30 minutes, which is a time we don't have," you lamented, extending your hand to present the toolbox to Derek's face. "Hotch gave you the go-ahead."

With a curse under his breath, Derek accepted the box with his free hand. You slid in next to him so you could peek into the car.

"Pansy?" Frightened blue eyes scuttered towards your face. Despite the current predicament, you managed to offer her a somewhat genuine smile. "Hey, how are we holding up there? My name's Agent (Y/L/N), I work with Agent Morgan in the FBI. I wanted to let you know that your son is safe. He's with the rest of our team right now."

Pansy hiccuped around a sob. "He's safe?"

"One hundred percent." You nodded. "Listen, Agent Morgan here used to work with the bomb squad. He's gonna defuse the bomb so all of us can get out of here safely. But in order to do that, you need to let go of his hand, okay? Here, you can hold mine instead."

Your last statement caused Derek to turn his head around so fast, you were sure he would have gotten a whiplash. The incredulity was thick in his voice as he asked, "Sweet girl, what are you doing?"

You didn't look at him once. In fact, your eyes were still glued to Pansy's face when you said, "I'm not leaving you."

But Derek knew better.

You weren't saying that sentence to Pansy.

You were saying it to him.

In any other situation, Derek would have admonished you for your stupid decision. But right in that moment, in front of Pansy who was this close to spiraling, and with time completely against his side, Derek couldn't do anything else but relent. Reluctantly, he let go of Pansy's hand and allowed you to take his place. With another deep breath, Derek kneeled next to the car and began to work.

11 minutes and 16 seconds; that was how long it took for Derek to carefully disarm the explosive. Pansy sank into your embrace as soon as Derek removed the device from her seat, bringing it as far away from the crowd as possible as you took the young mother to see her infant son.

After neutralizing the threat, you received word from the rest of your team about the identity of the UnSub. Following a strenuous chase, you eventually closed the day with an arrest, ending the nightmare of the case once and for all. You marked it as a win in your book.

Back at the hotel, everyone scurried to their respective rooms in no time, eager to wash away the residual horror of the case with a cold shower and slept the exhaustion off before the team had to catch an early flight back to Virginia the next morning. You, too, had been dreaming about the plush mattress waiting for your arrival back at your room. But before you could reach the familiar door to your hotel room, your steps halted when warm fingers suddenly encircled your wrist.

"We need to talk," Derek said sharply. He didn't give you a chance to say anything before leading you towards his hotel room.

"What's this about, Derek?" you questioned once the door shut behind Derek's back.

"I can't believe you'd do something reckless like that, (Y/N)."

You frowned at him in confusion. "What? What do you mean?"

"You know what I'm talking about. You stayed back knowing there was a bomb! You knew what could've happened. You didn't have to be there, but you stayed anyway. What the fuck, (Y/N)?!"

"That's what this is about?" You scoffed incredulously. "You're mad at me because I did my job?"

"That wasn't part of the job and you know it, sweetheart. You could've been killed."

"I know that! God, you don't think I know that?!"

"You knew? Oh, good! So you knew about the chances of you getting killed in that situation, but you still went ahead and did it anyway. What the fuck were you thinking?!"

"I don't need to fucking explain myself to you, Derek." You stepped further into the room, trying to draw as much distance from the man whom you considered your best friend for the past two years of you working with the BAU. His hostility was foreign. You mourned the absence of his usual warmth as you wrapped your arms defensively around your torso. "What about you, anyway?"

"Me?"

"You act as if I was the only one putting themselves in danger, but you were there, too. You could've been killed as well. A little bit hypocritical, isn't it?!"

"That's different."

You rolled your eyes. "Of course it is. Why? Because your hero complex wouldn't allow you to share the stage with anyone else?"

"(Y/N)—"

"Or is it your trust issues that force you to do anything on your own?"

"Stop it—"

"Oh, I get it! Maybe you're no different than those other alpha males out there! Is that it? You want me to leave all the dangerous and scary jobs to the big, strong men—"

"I said, stop it."

A gasp stumbled past your lips when you suddenly found your back connecting with the wall, trapped between the concrete surface and Derek's muscular chest. There was no way to run. Derek's stare was sweltering as it pierced right through your soul.

"Have you always been this insufferable?" Derek growled.

"I don't know. Have you always been this chauvinistic?"

"You never know when to shut the hell up, do you?"

"Well—" you puffed your chest out, leveling your own stare with his unyielding one, "—why don't you make me?"

The atmosphere thickened inside the room.

Before you could process what was happening, Derek had suddenly lunged forward, claiming your lips in a kiss so heated unlike any other you had ever known.

Derek domineered every single one of your senses. Your body only knew his touch as his palms roamed your curves and edges. The kiss was a battle of desperation, a mess of tongue and heaving breaths that span your world off its axis.

When Derek's mouth strayed to your neck, nipping around the spot right below your ear, you swore your bones melted into liquid inside of your body.

"So goddamn aggravating," Derek griped against your ear. "You drive me fucking crazy, you know that?"

"You're just gonna keep talking? Or are you finally gonna put that mouth to a good use?"

The smirk on your lips was wiped away instantly when Derek kissed you again. He maneuvered the two of you towards the bed, where Derek laid you down with a gentleness that contradicted the spite he had shown so far. Clothes were being shed at an inhumane speed, and before long, you found yourself sprawled naked underneath Derek's impressive frame.

Your hand wandered southward as Derek peppered kisses across your chest. The moment your fingers wrapped around his length, Derek's whole body shivered in response.

"Fuck. What are you doing to me?" he muttered.

You continued to pump his shaft, enjoying the melodic sounds Derek was making as your pace grew faster with each second. Mere moments later, however, your movement was halted when Derek's fingers tugged at your wrist.

"Slow down, pretty girl. I wanna be inside of you when I cum."

His declaration was sealed with a kiss.

Using an unbelievable display of strength, Derek then manhandled you to your front, forcing you to rest on all fours as he settled on his knees right behind the sensual curves of your ass.

"Shit. Look at this pussy," Derek remarked crudely. You moaned into the bedsheets when his fingers rubbed up and down your slit, collecting the wetness without ever grazing the number one spot where you needed him the most. "Beautiful, sweetheart. You're so fucking gorgeous."

"You can tell me about how gorgeous you think I am later, Derek. Just shut up and fuck me already."

"Impatient girl." Derek chuckled.

You yelped when his palm landed a harsh slap to each one of your ass cheeks. The sting was chased away instantly by the feeling of Derek's cock prodding around your entrance. The two of you moaned in unison once his length went in, filling every inch of your channel until he was sheathed to the hilt.

As Derek started to move, the lump of arousal in the pit of your stomach increased in size. The drag of his cock felt delicious against your throbbing walls. Derek moved inside of you at a sedulous pace. The grip he had on either side of your hips felt like a promise of fresh bruises that you couldn't wait to wake up to once morning arrived.

With a particularly harsh thrust into your soaking pussy, Derek sent your brain gyrating into the stars.

"Derek, please—ohhh. Feels so good."

"I know, pretty girl. Fuck. Gripping my cock so well, sweetheart. You hear that? Hear how wet you sound?"

You nodded wordlessly, your ears assaulted by the squelching sound of your combined arousal as you pressed your face against the mattress. Derek drove into you even faster, hitting the same spot every single time that had you blabbering incoherently into the sheets.

"D-Derek? I'm—mmpphhh, I'm so close. S-So close... oh fuck."

"Yeah? You're close, sweet girl?"

Derek's arm went around your torso, then, holding you up beneath your breast without ever relenting his movement. His breath tickled your ear in this new position, and you held onto the muscular arm holding you up in fear of collapsing from the continuous strike of pleasure.

"Do you wanna cum, sweetheart? Wanna cum for me?"

"Y-Yes! Please, please, please, Derek. Please, wanna cum so bad."

"Okay." Derek's other hand slid down your abdomen, all the way past your navel, until the rough pad of his fingers found your swolen clit. He began to rub it aggressively, earning a loud cry as you writhed in rapture. "Go on, then, pretty girl. Cum for me. Just let it go, sweetheart."

Your whole body convulsed as you slammed head first into your climax. Derek held you close through it all, stroking your damp skin and whispering sweet nothings as you came down from your high. Not long afterward, his own release caught up to him, pushing Derek to empty everything he had into the warmth of your tender hole.

Once minutes had passed, Derek carefully pulled out from you before gently laying you down on the bed. You were lost too deeply in the post-orgasmic bliss to notice that Derek had disappeared into the bathroom. The fog in your brain only started lifting when Derek returned and spread your thighs apart, using a damp wash cloth to clean up the mess that the two of you made on your upper thighs.

"How are you feeling?" Derek asked after he tossed away the cloth, squeezing your thigh affectionately.

"Tired. But good," you answered with a smile. "So... we should probably talk about what just happened, huh?"

Your question caused Derek's shoulders to tense, but he relaxed them again when your fingers reached out for his hand.

"Sorry I yelled at you," he offered sincerely. "You don't know this, pretty girl, but I made a vow to myself a long time ago to protect you. You're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, I know that. But as long as there's air in my lungs, I will spend every day of my life trying to keep you safe. Do you understand?"

You nodded meekly as your heart constricted in its cage. Derek left a kiss to your knuckles before settling down to lie beside you.

"You're not the only one who made such a vow, Derek," you revealed quietly. "I also made one to myself that I would never drop your hand in the face of danger. I would never abandon you like that. I'd rather give my life than live in a world where you no longer exist."

"Don't say that. You don't mean it."

"But I do. I mean it with all my heart." You stroked Derek's cheek with the tip of your fingers, admiring his handsome face as his eyes stared at you intensely. "Wherever you go, I go, Derek."

"Wherever you go, I go as well," Derek promised, tightening the sanctity of the words with a kiss. "What you did was still stupid, though, so you better never do that again in the future."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can we please pause this conversation 'till morning? I'm literally about to pass out right now."

Derek grinned upon hearing your statement. "I fucked you real good, didn't I?"

You punched him on the shoulder. "Asshole."

Derek laughed wholeheartedly before pecking your pouting lips. "Only for you, pretty girl."

[descendantsramblings]

Hi :)) idk if you’re accepting requests but I was just thinking…

I remembered that Hook canonically went to Eaton College, which is a pretty prestigious university, so he must actually be really fricking smart. I wish I knew what he studied tho :/ So anyway, I was hoping maybe you would write something (preferably x reader?) where he surprises everyone with his intelligence? I feel like the other VKs probably don’t actually know just how clever he is and would be taken off guard to realise it. I don’t have any specific situations in mind but I’d really like to see maybe reader acknowledge and recognise him as more than the pretty rebel he lets everyone see him as

I’m always accepting requests, it’s so fun getting to make things for someone, and it’s great writing practice. I’m almost done with all the ones I have, keep them coming 🩵

I love secretly smart characters, making a right old Evie out of him right now. I love him. (I had so many tabs open to get this right, so so many. I did Chemistry for the gag but it wasn’t worth the gag.)

Studious

James Hook x VK!Reader

Pronouns used: they/them/theirs

Summary: If it means that much to his partner, Hook can be a bit of a tutor

Warnings: pet names, swearing, sexual references, high school chemistry (Like the actual class that made me cry when I was a student), does sword fighting need a trigger warning?, Or fake moaning? Hook's partner making a joke about him having a thing for Morgie, Uliana almost makes a potion explode

Word Count: 3.5K

      Nervous fingers are shuffling through flashcards as the pirate walks into their dorm. His smirk being accompanied by raised eyebrows as he leans on the door frame, taking in the sight. They have their textbook and notebook spread out across the floor, sitting cross legged between the two. Pens and highlighters strewn around them and an empty notebook and study guide directly before them. (Y/n) is staring at them with a pout and wide eyes, huffing as they drop the flash cards beside them. “This is fucking ridiculous,” the words are barely a mumble, popping the knuckles on stressed hands as they say it. They stretch their shoulders back as well before reaching back down for the collection of brightly colored cardstock. 

   “Since when do you have to study, wizkid?” The words make their head shoot up, staring at the boy they hadn’t noticed had entered. “Since Chemistry is kicking my ass, I have to pass this exam or I’m going to fail the class again. If I fail it twice this year I won’t have enough credits to be a senior next year,” their voice is far too fast, rambling on as they reach back down for their study guide. “I thought you exempted all your exams,” he tilts his head as he speaks, watching them shuffle their cards for the third time since he made his way into the room. “Yeah, well I bombed my last two tests -like fifty-two and thirty-five level bombed- and all the As and Bs I have on experiments can’t save me there. So either I make an A on this exam or I fail the entire class for the second time. I am so royally screwed.” With a sigh, Hook makes his way over to the villain on the floor, falling to sit before them with crossed legs and an outstretched hand. “Give me the cards.” “No, I seriously need to study, James. I cannot go do whatever Uli sent you in here  for right now.” 

   He scoffs, leaning forward to snatch the cards from their loose grip on them. “I can come see my partner just because I want to be around them, you know. I don’t always have to be doing something for the group. I do enjoy your company, wouldn't be your boyfriend otherwise.” Dark eyes widen mockingly with raised brows as he finished the sentiment, head shaking in a near-bratty manner. He flips through the cards, letting his eyes ghost over the words and formulas. This was basic chemistry. He did this his sophomore year, he could probably do it in his sleep. “Even then, James, I really need to study. I cannot fail this again.” He lets his eyes cut up to them, a smirk still present across his pouty lips. “Oh of course you do, I can’t have my partner as a super senior. That’s just embarrassing for us both,” he drops the cards into his lap, reaching over for their study guide. He flips it over a time or two, barely reading it. 

  “Okay,” they draw out the word, reaching out to snatch their cards back from where they rest on his thigh, “Then let me study. Really, Honey, can’t you go harass Morgie or Bridget or something?” “Why harass them when my favorite person is right here struggling with the easiest subject ever? That’s much better material.”  (Y/n) scoffs, looking up at him from their flashcards. James is too busy looking over the back of their study guide to give them so much as a second glance, but his face holds this cocky expression. As if the boy is challenging them to snap back. “The easiest subject ever? As if. I bet you got a B in there at absolute best. I need more than a B on this to pass.” “I actually finished Chemistry One with a perfect score and finished AP Chemistry Two with a ninety-nine percent, since you’re asking.” He drops the papers into his lap, raising an eyebrow with the same challenging look in his eye as when he’s sparring against them. His hand shoots out for the cards again, flipping it from the one that they had been looking at and giving it a sparing glance. Eyes cutting back up to his partner just as quickly as they cut down, “Now, what is the definition of an intensive property?” 

    So they’re really doing this? (Y/n) guesses they shouldn’t argue, they do need the help. And if James is anywhere near as good as he says, this might be their best bet. “An intensive property is,” they let their eyes dart around the room, as if the decor on their walls would hold the answer. “Come on now, Love. Don’t draw it out. What’s an intensive property?” They bite their lip, looking down to their empty lap, “An intensive property is a property which does not rely on the amount of matter present.” A golden hook comes into their line of sight, tucking under their chin to lift their head up. When they look at Hook, he’s inches away from them, “Okay, and what are examples of an intensive property?” The hook beneath their chin moves, the sharp edge barely hovering below their skin. No looking away this time, that was a silent command for their eyes on him. “Boiling and melting points, density, and,” they snap their fingers, dragging out the one syllable word as they think. “And? Come on now, you know this.” “And,” they lock eyes with him, by god those brown eyes were captivating. It was like they were electric, sparking with some sense of excitement and pride that they couldn’t understand. Electric, that��s something right? Electricity isn’t a property of something though, but it seemed right. Why does it seem right? What did electricity have to do with intensive properties? “Conductivity,” they subconsciously cross the fingers on their right hand, staring into their boyfriend’s eyes with a longing to be correct. He nods, pulling them forward slightly. James kisses them with a feather light touch, smiling against their lips as they attempt to draw him closer. “See, I knew you knew it.” 

   They don’t get to respond before he’s drawing back, completely withdrawing his touch as he flips to the next card, dropping “intensive properties” to his lap. “What’s an atomic number?”  “What? No, what was that? You barely kissed me,” they’re pouting, reaching out for a jaw that’s pulling away from them. “What’s an atomic number?” He raises his eyebrows as he speaks, pulling further away as they get on their knees to chase his fleeting lips, “If you want to kiss me you have to answer the question.” “The number of neutrons in an atom's nucleus. Now kiss me again,” they’re fully perched on their knees now, leaning over him as he leans back to get away. James makes a loud noise similar to the sound of a buzzer going off, dropping the card in his hand and using them to cover his mouth. “What is an isotope?” (Y/n) falls back with a huff, completely discouraged as they stare with gaped lips, “What? Where’s my kiss?” 

     He pulls the cards down to smirk over the neon green paper, “I don’t reward wrong answers.” “I wasn’t wrong!” “You were, it’s not the neutrons in the nucleus but what?” A frown crosses the villain’s lips, shoulders slumping as they realize what they’d done. “Protons.” He nods, humming as he raises his brows, “Okay, new question, what’s an isotope?” “You’re awful, this is awful.”  “What’s an isotope?” They rise back up on their knees with a smirk, “What about, one kiss when I correct myself, two kisses when I’m right the first time?” He shakes his head, rolling his eyes as he does, “How about you tell me what an isotope is?” “Oh come on,” they’re whining, a hand wrapping around his hook. “Come on and answer the question.” His brows are raised, watching them pout. With wide eyes and batted lashes they let a hand trail up from metal to leather, slowly making its way up to his shoulder. “Captain, won’t you please give me a kiss? I want one so bad. I need your lips.” In any other circumstance that would work, it always worked. But James was already glowing as he looked over notecards, shaking his head with his smirk far more of a smile than normal. “That’s not going to work this time, Love. Now answer the question.” This might just be his new torture method, and by god is it working. (Y/n) was going to go crazy if they didn’t get what they wanted soon. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

   As a pirate, Hook was no stranger to drawing out torture, but he couldn’t stand to sit still for long. His love of chemistry and watching the gorgeous villain in front of him squirm could only keep him bound to one place for so long until he felt as if he might be going stir crazy. Which is how they ended up in a clearing in the woods, standing in a wide stance with swords balanced in their hands. Iron making a sharp “X” between them as they press against one another.  The ravenous look in (Y/n)’s eyes surely matched the crazed look in his, smirks present on either villain’s lips. They made one hell of a sparring partner, he’d learned that the day they met. Never took much to get the two of them alone like this either, the boy longed for the other villain’s sportsmanship. A worthy opponent was hard to come by outside of Neverland, and his lover looked so good while sword fighting that he struggled to focus. Now though, as he spits out questions they struggle to follow, it seems like they knew how he normally felt. 

    They might have quick feet and strong arms, but their pretty mind is making them lag behind. Each time their swords would cross, he’d spurt out a new question, holding them hostage until they could find an answer he saw as fitting. Each wrong answer was met with a strike to their left, correct answers with a strike to their right. They’d start a new battle, clashing metal and devious laughter until one of them could find the other pinned once again. It was the most fun he’d had in years, that annoyed little pout on their face with each new question seemed to only make the game all the more fun. “What’s the atomic number of gold?” “Hook,” despite their tense body language, the name comes out on a whine, pout growing more than the boy thought was possible. “It is gold, yes, now what would its atomic number be?” He’s chuckling to himself and he awaits their response. Their eyes flicker around him, lip between their teeth. “Seventy-nine.” He jumps back from them, sword striking out at their right side. The motion is caught by their own sword while (Y/n) lets out a giggle. 

   “I got it right!” They use their sword to force the tip of his away, turning their body to the left as they strike out above his left shoulder. “That you did, Love,” he swings to the right with a smile, bringing his sword up to push against theirs. He twists his body, gaining the upper hand as he pushes against them. (Y/n) is cringing, realizing how close they were to being cornered by him again. How could they let themself get so distracted? He’s pushing them back, and though they push forward, their sword slides down again, both villains ending up eye to eye with a new iron cross section between them. “You made that too easy,” James smirks, looking them up and down. “I didn’t, you just, that question threw me off. I don’t even know how I knew the answer.” He shakes his head, “You can’t let yourself get thrown off in a sword fight love. Your other opponents might not be as forgiving as me.” He leans over the swords for a moment, pecking their lips before he squares his shoulders back. 

   Hook’s resistance was always strong and unforgiving in a fight, even when he allowed himself a moment of calm in the storm he created. The boy pushes harder on their swords, smirking at his lover as he raises an eyebrow. “What’s a homogeneous mixture?” There’s this flicker of something in his partner’s eyes. A giggle escaping their lips as they smile at him, head tilting to the side. “Isn’t that what you and Morgie are?” He pushes rougher against them, feeling the way their laughter shakes the sword in their iron grip. “Very funny, Darling. Now answer the question, unless you want to walk the plank,” he’s stepping closer, their swords sliding ever so slightly straighter against each other. “You wouldn’t dare, you love me too much.” He hums, shaking his head, “Positive? According to you, I love Morgie, so which is it?” 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

     “You two are late,” she doesn’t look up from her cauldron as she speaks, Uliana automatically knows who’s wandering in by their footsteps. The sounds are perfectly in sync, heavy pairs of boots falling in time as if they moved as one. When the two become visible in the hideout, their faces are red with a sweat sheen across their foreheads. Hook’s arm adoringly around (Y/n)’s waist as they lean against him,  the clothing of both teens ruffled from the movements they’d made while jousting. It’s cozy, needy, and the couple’s appearance quickly attracts the attention of Morgie and Hades. Both boys look to their friends with a smirk, cutting each other a sparing glance before turning back. “What have you two been up to?” Hades gives them a once over taking in how Hook’s shirt had come untucked and the wrinkles in the hem of (Y/n)’s top. “Been helping (Y/n) study for chemistry,” Hook shrugs, falling into a chair and pulling his partner down into his lap. Warm arms encapsulate the villain as they lean into his touch, smiling as his head settles on their left shoulder. A kiss being pressed to the shell of their ear earning the boy a hum.

     The sound of Hades laughing fills the room, his eyes rolling in their sockets, “Yeah, I’m sure you have been.” Hook can tell where this is going from a mile away, especially with the gorgeous look of exhaustion taking over his lover’s face. Relaxed muscles that are hidden behind heat blushed flesh. Sweat shines on their forehead and neck while their eyelids hang lower than normal. (Y/n) always looked tired and blissed out after a good duel, smiling lazily as they cling to him. He knew how they looked, and with the genuine topic at hand it definitely seemed like Hook had done nothing more than making an innuendo. If he was honest, part of him hoped that the boys thought it was an innuendo, tutoring just wasn’t his style. “We were, Hades. Excellent study session, actually. Of course, (Y/n) has always been the smartest person I know.” The god raises his brows, smirk growing as he turns to Morgie, “You don’t say. Morgie, I bet you overhear a lot of those study sessions, don’t you?” The sorcerer smirks right back, an evil glint resting in his eyes, “Oh yeah, I think the last one was English though. Studying a poem maybe?” 

    (Y/n) feels Hook’s hand sneak onto their thigh as the boys talk, an amused smirk resting on their face. He lets his fingers spread, taking up as much of the plush part of their leg as he can. “Really, Morgie? Why would you say that?” Hades is letting his eyes flicker between the overly cozy couple and Morgie as he speaks, watching for tell-tale signs that the villains were flustered. “Oh you know, I just recognized the opening line,” his finger taps his chin as he speaks, “What was it again? Oh yeah!” Morgie’s face falls to mimic a blissed out expression, hand gripping on his chest as he speaks on a nearly pornographic moan, “Oh Captain, my Captain!” Hades and Morgie fall into each other’s sides laughing, the noise they’re making earning an annoyed scoff from a preoccupied Uliana. “If you two idiots could make yourself useful, that would be great,” she’s turning, grabbing a vial of rattlesnake venom from a shelf. 

   “Study session isn’t over, Love,” Hook’s voice is soft, plush lips moving against the shell of their ear as he whispers. His words lead to them whining, head falling back against his shoulder as they pout. “My head is too full, Baby. I’ve had enough.” He chuckles, kissing their cheek as his finger moves across their thigh in an “S” shape. “Tell me the element,” he whispers, repeating the shape across their leg. “Sulfur,” they mumble, eyes focusing in on the way Uliana moves. He kisses their shoulder, “Good job.” He draws a circle next. “Oxygen.” Another kiss falls on their shoulder. It becomes a pattern. He’d draw the symbol of an element on their thigh, they would tell him the name of it. The shape repeats until they get it right, ones they got correct on the first try lead to them being rewarded with a kiss to the shoulder or neck. 

    Somewhere, though it’s partially tuned out by the pirate and his lover, Morgie is explaining what Uliana is up to.  Something about making a potion to sneak into Charming’s food, apparently he spilt Uliana’s drink all over her when she was leaving a coffee shop. Some sort of spell to make the boy clumsy enough to spill everything on himself for twenty four hours. (Y/n) can’t focus on that, not with the way that James is tracing a “Y” on their inner thigh. What element’s symbol was “Y”? “You’re making that up,” they mumble and he shakes his head against them in response. “Think harder.” “It’s too hard to think when you’re doing it there,” the words come out in a hiss, eyes cutting over their shoulder to see the smirk on his face. “Try harder then, Love.” 

   Maleficent makes her way past them, holding a little vial of something as she does. “It took forever to find this shit in the AP Chem room, just so you know. Better be worth the trouble.” Uliana scoffs, reaching an arm out for it, “It will be.” Hades and Morgie stand up to follow the dark pixie, the god cutting James and (Y/n) a look. His eyes zero in on Hook’s hand, laughing softly, “God, Hook, you are just insatiable.” The pirate winks at him over (Y/n)’s shoulder, kissing their shoulder as they softly mumble, “Yttrium.” “Good job,” he coos, letting his eyes follow the other villains. Maleficent said she’d taken something from the chem room, what is it?     “What you got there, Mali?” She turns to smirk at Hook, “Finishing ingredient to the potion. Though, it looks like we could have just got it off of (Y/n). What have you been doing to them to have them sweating like that, Hook?” His brows furrow, looking at the vial of powder in Uliana’s hand as she stands dangerously close to the fire-heated cauldron. They could get it from (Y/n)’s sweat? What could she be- his blood runs cold as Uliana goes to pull the stopper out of the bottle.

  “Uliana, don’t!” He’s throwing a very startled (Y/n) off of his lap as he jumps up, running towards the group. “What, you have a soft spot for Charming now?” He’s shaking his head furiously as he reaches out for the vial. “You can’t put that in there right now. It needs to cool.” Her  arms cross, holding the vial away from his panicked hand. “What are you talking about?”  Dark eyes stay trained on the vial, shaking his head as he speaks, “That’s sodium, right? That’s what the joke about the sweat means?” She nods, a brow raised as she waves a hand for him to hurry up and explain himself. “So, you cannot add heat to sodium.” “People add heat to salt all the time, Hook. We’ll be fine.”  She’s not listening, she never listens.

   “It’s not salt, Uli. Sodium is only half of salt.” “The other half is chlorine,” (Y/n) calls out from the other side of the room. And Hook smiles slightly, giving them a thumbs up behind his back. “So what, you’re saying that I can’t use it?” Uliana is obviously growing tired of him, but there seems to be a gear turning in Maleficent's head. “Not with heat, unless you don’t like having eyebrows,” Hook shakes his head, an arm once again reaching out for the vial. “Are you threatening me?” He groans, dragging his hand down his face, “Fine Uliana, add heat to Sodium and make it explode. Explode with it for all I care. It’s your funeral.”  Hades looks between the two, watching Hook storm away from them as he extinguishes the fire under the cauldron. “Uliana, just let it cool. Hook, you two were actually studying chemistry?” He scoffs, waving him off, “I am more than a pretty face, Hades.” “But, you were all tired and sweaty?” “Made me answer questions while we were sword fighting,” (Y/n) shrugs. “But, his hand moving on your inner thigh?” “Tracing atomic symbols on their thigh,” Hook shrugs, reaching out for his partner who walks into his arms with a giggle. They were actually studying? Who in their right mind studies like that? Not that Hades has ever thought the couple were in their right mind.

[bidonica]

So yeah about what I was saying in the tags to @metalgearstranding's post about Ocelot's parentage here. I finished the TPP side quest involving Paz and I have Thoughts on the topic of character development being pushed to the periphery of the Metal Gear games, which also include BIG BIG SPOILERS about the endgame of MGSV so if you've managed to get into metal gear unspoiled about that and wish to remain so, don't read beyond the cut. And if you decide to read, content warning for discussion of sexual violence.

So I've basically finished the main storyline of TPP -- reached the "Truth" mission, lost Quiet (I also got her back btw. Yes you can. Love wins) and now I'm two repeat missions away from finishing the main list, while I still have a few side ops to unlock. One of the side op series I finished first is the "find the wandering Mother Base soldiers" one, where you have to capture lost soldiers from the old Mother Base and collect memento photos in the process. The "mementos" are scenes you can trace back to Paz's diaries in Peace Walker, and I thought they were some side material whose purpose was to nod at the players who actually played PW without making it integral to the game. As a matter of fact, a lot of people skipped on Peace Walker, being a portable game and all -- even my brother who is a lifelong fan of the series and introduced me to it never played it, which I like to hold over his head because I am now Doing Metal Gear Better.

Then I recently ended up on this article and found out there was a whole side plot involving those mementos and the unexpected reappearance of Paz at Mother Base. If you played Ground Zeroes, you'd know Paz died a gruesome, gross death, with two bombs planted into her body by Skull Face -- one that had to be surgically removed from her abdomen without anaesthesia and the other in, well, her vagina, that exploded when she threw herself off the flying chopper Big Boss was carrying her on, causing or at least exacerbating the incident where BB and the Medic ended up in their nine year coma.

So in TPP there's this door on the third floor at the main Medical Platform. You can open it and find a room with Paz in it - alive, but with a V-shaped scar on her abdomen and her mind stuck in 1974. Ocelot and Miller will explain that the Medic was able to extract the second bomb at the last minute(*) and save her, never mind that she looks like she barely aged.

(*)I reiterate: from her vagina. Not sure how I feel about how sexual violence is used in this game, because on the one hand it is true that it disproportionately affects women POW and it would probably be disingenuous to not address it altogether, but at the same time these aren't the games most suited to handle this topic because they tend to be very, uh, adolescent when it comes to women and their bodies even when the context is rather dramatic. You also see it in the lingering shot on Quiet's breasts during her attempted onscreen rape (then there's also, of course, the implied offscreen ones) and don't get me started on whatever is going on when you defeat the Beauty & Beast unit in MGS4.

This triggers a flashback from Venom, where he basically overwrites the scene as you experienced it in Ground Zeroes with the scene as recounted to him by Kaz and Ocelot, and his point of view shifts between Big Boss and the Medic. Which is honestly pretty clever if you're playing this unspoiled, because if you unlock this early on in the game the point of view shift foreshadows the twist from the "Truth" mission. And if you, like me, play it after, you get to be like "aha!" at it.

The twist being, of course, that Venom isn't Big Boss but rather the Medic, brainwashed into becoming Big Boss' Phantom.

Again, there are hints -- when you start bringing Paz the memento photos, she will comment on them with a nostalgic, sugar coated version of what she said in her Peace Walker diary entries, because if you look at those, her tone is a lot more critical and at times snarky, because Paz was a double agent. Sure, she eventually had a change of heart and 1984 Paz might be reflecting that. But her phrasing, combined with her repating "I'm a student... I'm an angel of peace..." the whole time, points at this being the Medic piecing together a version of Paz that he knew; it's unlikely he got the full intel on her at the time of her rescue in GZ, and what with Ocelot not being there at the time of Peace Walker, it might be he also didn't include it in his mental conditioning at all.

The Paz side plot is possibly the only one that fully engages with Venom as his own character and not as a Big Boss proxy. It's about the Medic's trauma and guilt for not having been able to save Paz, who in his eyes was just an innocent girl. Which was a lie, but isn't at the same time because she certainly didn't deserve what happened to her. The last picture you find is called "Morpho butterfly" and Morpho was the name of Pequod's predecessor as the chopper pilot. It's all about Venom's mind struggling to deal with the loss of his old comrades, not to mention his own identity.

It's also the most effective demonstration you get of his brainwashing, because you see him being unable to trust his own memories, rewriting them in real time.

Paz, of course, isn't real. Venom hallucinated her the whole time. Her words in the audio files are actually his thoughts, which has some interesting repercussions, like was it actually the Medic who witnessed this?

Me finding a way to make this about Kaz aside, what I'm getting at is: this whole subplot is the only one that tackles Venom's situation as a PTSD ridden, brain damaged, brainwashed person head-on. It also highlights his compassionate nature by making his guilt towards Paz be the only thing that resurfaces from his old life.

The mental and neurological issues, the seizures, memory loss are all things that are established with Venom's introduction; when you rescue Kaz, Venom asks him to talk to him and help him remember, but in reality the mission support Kaz gives you is merely about logistics, and in most cutscenes he and Venom talk of the matters at hand, or of Kaz's desire to get back at Skull Face and Cipher. Venom's brain issues don't really factor significantly in the story segments or the gameplay (except for the color blindness that was meant to be a sort of Checkhov's Gun in the unfinished Kingdom of the Flies mission. My Roman Empire). Yeah they couldn't pay Kiefer Sutherland for more than three line readings or whatever yadda yadda, but this very Paz subplot proves that you can give him character development without him saying much.

It's that, in order to do it, you have to (casually?) find that one door that you can open at Mother Base, and go through a whole side quest that is entirely optional. You could technically finish the game -- or at least what we have of the game -- and never have to contend with the protagonist's specific trauma and actual personality.

You could argue that it works on a meta level, because Venom is the player and the player themsef is Big Boss' phantom, his impersonator. Metal Gear rarely misses with this sort of metanarrative, fourth wall breaking stuff. So keeping Venom the actual character to the periphery to center Venom the avatar of Big Boss, who is the avatar of the player, makes sense in that context.

But it becomes frustrating when you engage with Metal Gear as a story, which isn't just plot, but also the personal, emotional motivations for the characters to make a choice rather than the other. Which is... what drives the plot. It's something that happens again and again throughout the games -- character development as something that is, essentially, happening in another room. It's not that it doesn't exist, but it's stored away elsewhere and you don't get to see it. Which is made even more frustrating by how bits and pieces of it randomly emerge, and they are compelling -- I'm thinking of Kaz recounting his personal history in the Peace Walker tapes, or Strangelove's dying monologue (kudos to the voice actors on both accounts though, because they definitely contributed in delivering the emotional punch of those scripts). But it's always just flashes and rarely something you get to experience in full.

(the frustration is magnified in TPP when you have the main storyline just. Ending at a certain point -- because it's unfinished et cetera -- and then find all this arguably juicier material at the periphery of the game.)

[badmojotroll]

Potion Docs: Troll Alchemy Reimagined

In the depths of steamy jungles, war-torn battlefields, a strange figure stands behind the frontlines. Vials clink at his side, steam hisses from his satchel, and wild-eyed focus gleams beneath his brow. He is the Potion Doc—and he is no ordinary alchemist. Unlike the traditional alchemist or witch doctor, the potion doc walks a line few dare to tread: the volatile edge between science and sorcery. Where others follow recipes or rituals, he feels his craft—instinctively understanding what should fizz, what should bubble, and what, with a careful flick of his finger, might just explode.

The potion doc doesn't merely brew potions—he engineers them, mid-battle if necessary, pulling ingredients from his dozens of mysterious pouches and crushed herbs tucked in hidden pockets. Need a healing draught, a corrosive acid, or a smoke bomb? He’ll whip it up in seconds, likely with a beetle leg, some jungle mold, and a splash of unidentifiable fluid from his coat.

Bombs, Brews, and Alchemical Brilliance

Potion docs are perhaps most famous for their potion bombs. Forget sipping potions in the middle of a skirmish—these vials are tossed, shattered, and detonated with magical force. Some of his brews come with delayed effects, timed to detonate or activate minutes after being thrown or drunk. Others are keyed to specific commands, allowing clever timing and tactical surprises. It’s all part of the potion doc’s strange arsenal. A potion doc is more than just a brewer, the seasoned potion doc is the lab. Through years of experimentation, his very blood carries latent spells and brews, waiting to be activated. He drinks small, harmless vials that trigger these effects—preloaded spells ready at a moment’s notice. No need for casting incantations or drawing sigils; his magic is already bubbling inside him.

This unusual biological adaptation makes the potion doc a true oddity—part spellcaster, part alchemist, part walking experiment.

[pinturas-sgm-marina]

1939 11 24 First defusing of a magnetic mine - Wilf Hardy

In November 1939 Britain faced the prospect of capitulation to Nazi Germany. Huge numbers of ships bringing essential supplies like food and fuel were being sunk and nobody had a clue what weaponry was sinking them.

The lifeline to the British troops still fighting in France, before the evacuation of Dunkirk, was being cut off.

Winston Churchill who was First Lord of the Admiralty at the time faced his first major crisis of what became known as the "phoney war".

Churchill described how the events could have been the "compass of our ruin".

On the 21st November HMS Belfast was rocked by a huge explosion. The back of the ship was broken and the damage put her out of action for three years.

The Germans stepped up the programme of deploying their "secret weapon" which was in fact a magnetic mine. As ships passed over the mine, the steel hull triggered a magnetic field exploding the mine.

In the middle of the night the following day a German sea-plane flew low over the Thames Estuary just offshore from Shoeburyness, Essex.

Military spotters reported what looked like a sailor's kit-bag being dropped into the sea. The Admiralty was immediately informed.

Part of the elite naval bomb disposal unit he was immediately driven from Whitehall to Shoeburyness. Commander Ouvry arrived at 3.30 in the morning.

With a small team of men Ouvry stood ankle deep in the mud and water over the following twelve hours trying to work out how to disable the torpedo shaped object.

It was unknown to them and as fellow bomb disposal officer, Lt Noel Cashford observes, "he didn't have a clue what he was dealing with, he was taking a risk, a huge risk".

It was a risk that he was instructed to take "at all costs" so high were the stakes. It was agreed between Ouvry's team that whilst he attempted to disable the mine, with Chief Petty Officer Charles Baldwin to assist, the remainder of the team would observe from a distance.

In his report of the incident, which has only recently come to light, Ouvry wrote; "we fixed on a definite sequence of events, which he (his fellow bomb disposal officer, Lt Cmdr Lewis) could clearly observe from the distance, in case of a mistake upon my part".

Of course the mistake would have blown Ouvry and Baldwin to smithereens and reflects the temperament of the men needed to do such dangerous work.

In the event of failure, his colleague could at least then attempt to disable a second mine they had discovered further along the same beach.

It was of course critical they discovered if this was the secret weapon and how it worked so counter-measures could be devised.

After 12 painstaking hours Ouvry described the feeling of being "on top of the world" as he successfully disarmed the mine. The mine was taken away for analysis and within a week countermeasures were introduced to protect shipping from that particular danger. Britain survived to fight on.

[scarletsaphire]

Chapter 3 of EI for @pokkeshii and beta'd by @pricklenettle. No art for this chapter, but the next one...

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Trigger warnings for this chapter: Loss of control, implied/suspected drug use

Danny wasn't at school for the next three days.

Not that Dash paid any real attention to the comings and goings of that dweeb. The only reason he noticed was because he'd bombed a particularly important math test, and his resident stress reliever wasn't anywhere to be seen. Danny may have gotten better at flying under the radar since freshman year, but he wasn't that good. Dash had to make do with beating up some sophomore nerd he didn't even know the name of instead.

When Danny did finally show his face again, Dash nearly started laughing then and there. The boy looked rough. He'd never looked good, of course, but he looked especially bad now, even worse than he had before, which was bad. His hair was soaked with sweat, he kept his eyes firmly on the ground, and worst of all, he was shaking like a leaf.

Dash elbowed Kwan, who was busy chatting up some girl Dash didn't recognize. He looked over at where Dash gestured, before rolling his eyes. "You have fun with that, dude. I think I'm gonna keep enjoying myself over here."

The girl giggled.

Dash left Kwan to it, pushing his way through the crowd towards where Danny stood, hunched up against the lockers. 

"Ah, did the last ghost fight scare you that much?" 

Danny didn't reply. 

"What, you had to go run and hide from the big scary ghosts? And you still come back looking like you’re about to piss yourself!"

Still no reply.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you, Fenturd," Dash said, grabbing Danny by the shoulder. He intended to turn Danny's face towards him, maybe get a good look at his sniveling face while he cried for some extra material. It shouldn't have been hard; Fenton had always been a pushover, at least physically. Dash had roughed Danny up plenty of times before.

Instead of being met with Danny's face, Dash was looking directly at the floor and his arm was screaming in pain. He couldn't see Fenton at all, but he could feel one cold hand on his head, forcing him down, and the other twisting his arm behind his back. It was more than just the pain; wherever Fenton touched Dash, his skin crawled in an assimilation of pins and needles. 

"Do you want to say that again, Dash?" Danny said. His voice was off somehow. He didn't sound different, but Dash knew there was something wrong. He could feel it in the way his heart started to pound in his chest and the blood rushed in his ears, how his thoughts seemed to scatter in a silent mantra of run run run run run run- "I said," Danny twisted his arm further, forcing Dash lower to the ground. "Do you want to say that again?"

"What the fuck, dude?" Dash hissed between gritted teeth. "I was just playing around!"

Danny twisted his arm further, and Dash did not start tearing up. He didn't. "Then it's only fair that I play back, right?"

Dash knew what breaking a bone felt like. He'd broken several over his quarterback career. He wouldn't go so far as to say he was used to it, but he was familiar with it. This wasn't a broken bone. There was a popping sound, and then pain exploded down his arm, so much sharper than it had been only moments ago. Dash couldn't suppress the cry of pain as he tried to wrench himself free to no avail. Fenton's grip was cold and strong, holding him tight like a vice. Even as Dash's arm went limp, Fenton just pushed harder.

He didn't know how long Fenton held him there for. Long enough that he’d given up on convincing himself that he wasn’t crying. Fenton might’ve decided to keep Dash there forever, if Mr. Lancer hadn't stepped in, wrenching the two of them apart. Dash fell to the floor, trying to clutch his injured arm to his chest. It wouldn't cooperate. He couldn't move it, couldn't feel it outside of the electric pain shooting out from his shoulder. 

Sure, maybe Dash did cry. He could admit it to himself, if not to anyone else. It wasn't his fault though. Fenton was a thousand times more freaky than he'd ever imagined, even freakier than the ghosts. He couldn't blame himself for breaking down when getting so close to someone- no, some thing as unnatural as that.

---

Maddie tried to make a habit of not setting expectations for the day. She made plans and goals, of course, but she never set out with an expectation. It was a recipe for a bad day, in her opinion, and she tried to avoid those. Which is why saying she did not expect a call from the school did not come lightly.

She knew that Danny wasn't a good student. It would've been impossible for her to miss his less than stellar grades and positively horrendous attendance record. Jack and her had spent all of his freshman year and most of his sophomore trying to encourage him to try harder, but when it didn't work, they accepted it. He just wasn't as academically inclined as the rest of his family was, and there was nothing wrong with that. Or maybe it was just high school; Jack had been held back because he couldn't pay attention, so it wasn't out of the question.

The school had come to the same results for all the wrong reasons. Maddie knew they'd given up on Danny and were just funneling him through the system, and while she was incredibly disappointed, she did understand. Danny simply wasn't motivated, and there wasn't anything they could do to change that.

With all of that said, Danny had never been a bad kid. Even when he was little, he'd always been such a sweet child, always following her around in the lab to try and help, or carrying down plates of food bigger than he was whenever Maddie or Jack forgot to eat. He'd always been kind and caring and sweet and gentle. 

And yes, he'd been different lately, even more so than normal. He refused to talk about what had him so jumpy, but Jazz had told her that he'd gotten into a fight with his friends. It was unfortunate, and surprising. The three of them had been nearly inseparable since freshman year, maybe even before that. But he wasn't aggressive or lashing out, just quiet and drawn back. The past few days had been even worse, with him refusing to come out of his room at all.

He'd said he was sick, with a messy note passed under the door. Maddie didn't quite believe him, but he was clearly not feeling well, so she left trays of food outside the door for him and let him rest. She believed him a lot more when he'd finally emerged that morning, looking like he hadn't slept at all in his self inflicted quarantine, sweaty and shaking. She'd tried to convince him to stay home and keep resting, but he'd insisted that he needed to go to school.

All of that was why the call from the school, that he had not only gotten into but had started a fight? To say that it was a shock was to put it lightly.

Maddie expected for him to be even worse looking than he had been. Danny knew how to fight, or at least did when he was younger. She'd spent most of his elementary school years teaching him and Jazz what she knew. If he had been in good health, then she'd have more faith in him, but when he'd left the house this morning he'd nearly been blown over by the wind. Maddie doubted he'd be able to win a fight against a paperclip, let alone a football player.

Instead, when she ran into the school office she found him sitting in one of the uncomfortable chairs, staring at the wall, sitting perfectly still. He didn't have any bruises on his face or skin that she could see, no blood or scratches or anything that indicated that he was any worse for wear. If anything, Danny looked better than he had this morning. 

His teacher, Mr. Lancer, stood next to him, his arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed. Maddie approached, but he didn't seem to notice her. He was standing next to Danny, tapping his foot on the ground rapidly.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Lancer," she said with a practiced smile on her face.

He visibly startled before clearing his throat and fixing his posture. "Oh, you're here," he said, wearing his own, clearly forced smile.

"I am," she said. She turned to face Danny. "Are you hurt?" Maddie asked softly. If what she had been told was true, she would lecture him later. It was more important to make sure he was okay. She continued when she didn't get a reply. "Mr. Lancer called and said you got into a fight...?"

Danny still didn't answer. He didn't so much as blink or turn his eyes to look at her. If Maddie didn't know any better, she'd say he wasn't breathing.

Mr. Lancer cleared his throat, and she looked up at him. "He isn't physically injured, as far as we could tell. Despite this, he hasn't been responding."

"And you took that to mean that he wasn't injured?" she asked, trying very hard to keep the anger out of her voice. "What if he'd been hit on the head? He should be in the hospital!"

"We did," Mr. Lancer replied drily. "It would've been nearly impossible for him to have been hit like that. There were a number of student witnesses, and Dash Baxter, the boy Danny instigated the fight with, was hardly given the chance to lift a finger. In contrast, Dash is currently in the hospital with a dislocated shoulder and a pinched nerve. I wonder where he learned to react in such a way." The last sentence was whispered, clearly intended to be for Mr. Lancer only.

Maddie pretended she didn't hear him. "Eye witness reports are all well and good, but did you at least have the school nurse look him over?"

"As much as we could," Mr. Lancer replied slowly.

"And what does that mean?" Maddie asked.

Mr. Lancer cleared his throat. "The nurse had some trouble getting close.”

"I'm sorry, I thought you said he wasn't responsive?" she asked incredulously.

"He isn’t," Mr. Lancer said. " Mostly. He didn’t react well when she tried to touch him. If you'd like to try and see for yourself, you're more than welcome to, but if I might be frank, I am up to here with your families escapades today. Daniel is going to be suspended for a week, and the Baxter's have decided to not press charges. Something that you should be very grateful for. Now, if you'll excuse me." Mr. Lancer walked briskly from the room, leaving Maddie and Danny more or less alone.

She turned back to him. He still sat just as he had before, as if he was part of the room's decoration. "I want you to know that you are in trouble," Maddie started. "But I want to make sure you're safe first, and then we can talk about punishment. Do you understand?"

She still got no response.

"Danny, I need you to talk to me. Or at least give me some kind of sign, it doesn't have to be words," she continued. "A head nod. Two blinks. A loud exhale."

Maddie got none of that. She sighed, and straightened. "Okay. I don't know what is wrong right now, but we're going to get you home, and then we are talking about this. Come on." She let her hand fall on his shoulder, intending to guide him out  the door to the car. She didn't have the GAV today; Jack was buys with some kind of ghost snakes report across town.

Half of her expected to get some reaction when she touched his shoulder. Mr. Lancer had certainly made it seem like she should, but the only thing that happened was Danny standing up,  and following her out to the car. He walked as if on autopilot, stumbling over the slight step down to the sidewalk below. If Maddie hadn't been there to catch him, it looked like he would have just face planted.

She pursed her lips. She didn't care what the teachers or nurses might say, something was wrong with her baby. That was clear as day. It was just going to have to fall to her to figure out what.

Maddie had to guide Danny into the backseat, had to buckle him in like she hadn't done since he was five. Her concern only grew as she went through the motions, having to raise his limp arm to get the seat belt under it. It took longer than she'd care to admit, and it wasn't for another good few minutes before she was climbing behind the driver's wheel. She let her eyes wander to Danny again in the rear view mirror before she started driving.

He was staring directly down at his lap, where his hands lay. She noticed then that they were clenched, the only part of his body that wasn't limp, gripped into fists so tight that she could see how his knuckles paled from the tension.

Maddie put the car in drive and tore her eyes away. She needed to get home, and she needed to think. She needed to figure out what was wrong. 

Her first instinct was, unsurprisingly, overshadowing. Or maybe some other kind of possession. It would've explained the sudden difference in attitude recently. If Danny was trying to fight against it, it may also explain his not quite catatonic state, focusing all his energy inward to try and kick the ghost out. It would explain a lot, and it would be an easy enough fix. Maddie hoped it was just that.

She forced herself to think of other possibilities too. While possession would've been nice, she also knew that it was wishful thinking. Possession would mean her baby boy was just as sweet and kind and unbothered as ever, and that he was nothing more than a victim. It would've been terrible, that she couldn't keep him safe, but it would've been an easy fix. Maddie couldn't let her wishful thinking get in the way if it ended up being something else.

He could be sick, like he said, but that wouldn't explain why he was better now. He could have just been acting out, as the school seemed to think he was, but that wouldn't explain the sickness. Unless...

Amity Park didn't have the most alive drug culture. Maddie knew more about that than she'd care to admit. It wasn’t unusual for either her or Jack to be called to plenty of peoples bad trips for false ghost reports before they opened the portal, and it was always to the same couple places. It had been annoying of course, but educational. After the portal had opened, the false reports dropped substantially. Maddie didn't know if it was because the people stopped using when the real world was crazier than any drug trip they might have, or because now they could differentiate between the ghosts they saw and the real ghosts.

Either way, just because it wasn't as thriving as it was in other areas, didn't mean it wasn't a possibility. And the more Maddie thought of it, the more it seemed to fit. The shaking and sweating, the sudden sickness, the insistence that he needed to go to school... If he had managed to take something, it could describe his current state too.

Maddie took a deep breath through her nose. She wasn't going to panic yet. She just needed to make a plan. They were going to get home, and she was going to run tests for a possible possession. If they came back positive, she'd know exactly how to get whatever sorry excuse for a spirit that’d decided to target her baby out. She would make sure that it never happened again. If it came back negative, well...

Her eyes drifted to the mirror again for just a second, just enough to see Danny in the backseat, exactly as he had been when she started this drive. If her tests came back negative she'd figure something else out. He was her son, and she wasn't going to let him face whatever this was alone, no matter what.

—

They came back negative. Every test that Maddie did was negative, or as negative as they always did for Danny. Possession, overshadowing, excess ectocontaimination that might interfere with brain activity, everything. Negative across the board. 

Maddie had hoped that it would be easy, but it was clear it wasn't. Danny still sat on the table in the lab, just as still as he had been for the past hour, his hands still clenched in his lap. He still wouldn't reply to anything. The good news was, if this was some kind of drug trip (and Maddie was almost certain it was at this point) he'd long since passed the risk of any kind of overdose. All that they could really do was wait it out.

Maddie hoisted herself up on the table and sat next to Danny. Even though he didn't look like he was going to do much of anything, she didn't feel comfortable leaving him unattended, especially in the lab. "You know that I love you, Danny," Maddie said, more to fill the silence than anything else. She wasn't even certain he was able to hear her, or would remember anything she said. "I'm always going to love you. But I'm worried."

She sighed, propping her hands on her knees and letting her face fall into them. "I don't know where I went wrong. You were such a bright young boy. You still are, in some ways. But in others, things like this happen, and... Sometimes I wonder what happened to my baby boy."

"I died." Maddie raised her head sharply, looking over to where Danny sat. He was looking at her with eyes the same color as the portal behind him. Her hand went to her waist instinctively to grab the blaster she always had, but nothing was there. She'd taken it off so it didn't disrupt the tests.

Whatever was pretending to be Danny didn't seem to care about her panic, even as she stumbled off the table to go get it. It just kept talking in an echoing bastardization of her son's voice. "But I decided to keep playing at human, to keep pretending that nothing was wrong, that everything was fine. For years."

It was laughing by the time Maddie's hand found the blaster, a laugh that sent shivers down her spine. "It's a miracle it took me this long to figure it out." Maddie raised the gun at the creature as it jumped down from the table, its feet never touching the ground. "But I'm done pretending." It a blink of the eye, her Danny was gone, replaced with the ghost she'd been hunting for as long as the portal had been opened. Phantom.

"I'll see you around, Mom," it said, its voice still not changing. Still Danny's. But it was Phantom's too, her mind connected. And it was Phantom's eyes on Danny's face, with a suit that matched the one on the wall behind him with the colors flipped.

He disappeared before she could decide whether to shoot or not. The blaster fell out of her hand as she fell to the floor, shaking.

[w33nies]

Qué Maravilla CH.8 - 'The Point of No Return'

Previous Chapter

Miguel O'hara x SpiderReader rating: E for Everyone bby warnings: none? lots of angst tbh summary: the adventures of Spiderman and the Prowler art is not mine !!! @yunkaan on twitter!!!

------------ Ch.8 - The Point of No Return ---------------

As Miles followed closely behind his doppelganger through the city, he couldn't help but be fascinated with his suit. The engineering feats it displayed seemed to surpass even that of his own Uncle Aaron’ suit. He was blown away by his sneakers, which seemed to possess some kind of jet propulsion mechanism which allowed him to leap unprecedented heights, the robotic neon-lit helmet he was able to control seemingly like it was just another muscle in his own body. And of course, those steel claws which were incredibly versatile in combat and travel. He thought back to their fight moments ago. How he blindsided him with that spray paint bomb. Were there any other features of his suit he hadn't seen yet?

“I like your shoes,” Miles blurts out, “Are they pneumatic?” 

The Prowler pauses for a moment on the corner edge of a skyscraper, posed in a low squat next to a gargoyle. If he had been in a better mood, Miles would have joked about the resemblance in demeanor between the two. ‘Now probably isn’t the time to poke fun at him.’ He told himself, ‘Doubt this is the type of guy that can take a joke.’

“Yeah.. And?” His voice is nothing like his own. The glowing mask obscuring his face was designed to distort it. It was lower, almost machine-like, in a way that was entirely unnerving.

“That’s sick. They look pretty dope too. Better than the one Uncle Aaron used to wear,haha. ” Prowler doesn’t respond, instead blankly staring through him with that intimidating mask.

“Or..I guess my Uncle Aaron…I've neer seen…I mean…I'm sure your Unc’s shoes are dope too..”

Silence. 

Miles clears his throat in an awkward attempt to ease the tension. “Oh and those paint bombs you threw earlier. Are they activated based on a standard timer fuse or do you use an explode-on-impact type of trigger because-” 

 “-Do you ever shut up?”

‘Ouch.’

“Um okay then…”  Miles raises his palms defensively, slowing his pace so that Prowler was ahead of him. “....I’m sorry I guess?” Miles couldn’t help the disgusted expression creeping in on his face. ‘Bet he’s a real hit at parties.’ 

“Also-” 

“-What,” Prowler responds curtly.

“...Your shoe is untied.” Miles said with a grin, attempting to feign innocence for intentionally pestering him.

“I’m aware.” Somehow the robotic tone seemed to emphasize his annoyance. Then he leaped off the building, almost like he was trying to get as far away from Miles as he could.

Miles shrugged, “Just thought you should know,” he jested before following after him. 

It was not long after when they reached the subway underneath Fitz Tower. Miles found the layout of this subway to be similar to his own Brooklyn. All the tracks, tunnel, the stairs, the overhead lights, even the benches. The difference was in the small details like the colors of the terminal signs or the horde of unfamiliar graffiti tags littering the walls. The advertisements (also covered in graffiti) were almost exclusively names that he recognized. Some of them being for villains he had defeated in his own dimension. Vulture Telecom? Rhino had a casino? Kraven was running for city mayor? The thought of these kinds of individuals holding substantial power made his blood run cold. It was like his own personal hell.

After what felt like ages (though probably only minutes) they reached a locked metal gate that wore a giant sign on the front that read, “RESTRICTED AREA AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY”. Immediately Prowler breaks toward it.  With the added momentum of his sneakers, he leaps in the air, grabs the top of the gate and pulls himself up and over the fence in one fell swoop. Upon landing with a thud, he turns around with a grimace of impatience that makes the unspoken message clear, ‘You coming or not?’ 

Miles casually walks up to the gate. Sticking his palms and feet onto the wired fence, he climbs its side with ease. Upon reaching the top, he jumps off landing right next to the Prowler. The other boy let out a peeved ‘tsk’ before he continued forward.

When they reach the end of the dark corridor Prowler pulls down on a lever. The lights stagger on and reveal to them is a dome shaped, high ceiling room with several arches leading to who-knows-where. In the center of this room a certain mural stopped Miles in his tracks. “No expectations” it read in yellow and blue spray paint with a black, shadowy figure in its center surrounded by a background of pink and orange geometric shapes and bubbles. He and his Uncle Aaron had made this same mural, in this same spot, in his Brooklyn. He remembers that day so clearly. It was here where he got bitten. Ever since then his life has never been the same. It was the day his destiny changed for good. For better or for worse that was the point of no return. 

 Miles took a few cautious steps toward the painting. His stomach dropped. Yes, it was the same exact piece. Well…except for the silhouetted figure in the center. Instead of a blank, shadowy figure this one had a giant white dot in the center of his head and a myriad of smaller white specks on his body. It was similar to - no- it was exactly how he looked when he last saw him back in Mumbattan. The man who had threatened to take away everything he had ever cared about. The man destined to kill his father. 

For a moment he could feel his heart beating in his ears. His hands began to tremble. Every breath he took was like a blow to his lungs. ‘See you back home, spider man.’ His last words to him echoed over and over again in his head. He was all he could hear. He was all he could see. For a moment, which felt like hours, Miles remained glued to the mural with a kind of tunnel vision born only out of panic.

“Hey, cabrón…” The Prowler was about to chastise him but paused upon seeing Miles' fearful face.

 “Aye, muchacho.” Nothing. 

“Chacho!”

Miles is startled from his trance. 

“¿Estás bien?” 

“Yeah…Yeah… I’m good.” He spoke distractedly.

“...Then let’s go,” The Prowler whirls around and begins walking away before-

“-Did you make this?” 

“What?” Prowler turns to see Miles pointing at the piece, “Yeah, with my Uncle Aaron ¿Porque?”

“…Me and Uncle Aaron painted a mural just like this.”

Prowler sighed, he could practically feel the patience slipping from his body. 

“Cool, now can we-”

Out of nowhere a large blast rips through the air, startling both boys. The ground begins trembling under their feet. A blinding glare emits from one of the tunnels on their right.

“Is that-” 

“-COME ON!” Prowler books it toward the tunnel motioning for him to follow. Just looking down the passageway, Miles had to squint his eyes. The more he ventured in, the more his eyes watered from the intense onslaught. Shielding his face with his hands, he frantically tried to scan his surroundings. Eventually, he’s able to make out a tiny figure in the distance.

“HELP!” The individual screams were muffled as was their banging on the force field surrounding them. “SOMEBODY! HELP ME! PLEASE!” The figure begins the glitch violently while various pieces of debris and wreckage around behind them. 

Miles webs forward without a second. He finds difficulty due to the pushback from the ongoing, well, whatever the hell was going on.  

“DUDE, WAIT!” The Prowler shouts but Miles ignores him, leaving him exasperatingly rushing after him.

Miles fights the current, inching closer and closer until he’s finally able to place his hands on the shield (and it’s taking all of his strength to even keep them on there). Now he’s face to face with the trapped man, “PLEASE!” he begged, “PLEASE! GET ME OUT OF HERE!” 

Miles musters all the electricity he possibly can into breaking the force field, the impact sending in flying backwards. Then…darkness.  After a few seconds, a few of the lights flicker back on, just managing to dimly light the room. Miles slowly brings his aching body to his feet. As he looks around he realizes he was blasted through the observation window of the collider wall, smashing several desks, monitors, computers, and other various tech. ‘Whoops. Hope that wasn’t important.’ He then makes his way to the unknown man, laying at the bottom of the spherical room which houses the collider. ‘I really hope he isn’t dead.’

Miles kneeled down and lightly shook the man by his shoulders, “Sir, are you alright?”

Nothing.

“Sir?...”. He checked the man’s pulse, it was faint. 

Miles rubs his hands together, generating a slight amount of electricity in his palms. He saw people do this in movies all the time, though he had never had to do it himself before. ‘Please don’t have me kill this man,’ he prayed silently. Warily, he puts his palms to the man's chest, shocking him. 

“Oh my god!” he ye;[ with a start, his outburst startling Miles. As he began painfully scrambling to his feet, Miles followed suit. The man opened his mouth to speak before holding a finger in the air then subsequently bending down to support himself with his hands on his knees, loudly wheezing.

“Are you alright?” Miles asked, hands held out ready to support him in case he were to collapse.

“Thanks to you I am,” The man grabs Miles's shoulder, stabilizing himself. “I thought I was going to die in there,” he continued to gasp through deep breaths. “Thank you. Truly. Thank you.” Once he finally regained his breath he scanned the masked vigilante up and down, bewildered. “To whom do I owe the pleasure of saving my life?” 

Miles studied the man before him, the spitting image of a scientist. He’s pretty tall, taller than him, with a lanky build. His dark hair was a wavy and unkept mess atop his head, except for the sides which were completely shaved. He wore an oversized lab coat that reached all the way down to his knees with tan khakis and a baby blue button up underneath. As well as a soft, welcoming smile that crinkled his eyes, showing sincerity. He wore large square glasses which rested on the bump of his aquiline nose.  Behind them sat heavy-lidded brown eyes with deep set bags. His hand was extended for him to shake, Miles took it. 

“I’m spider-”

“- Jonathon. Ohnn.'' The Prowler’s booming voice cut through the air, making himself known before he was visible to the two men. The menacing sound of debris crunching under his feet follows as his large shadow creeps on the wall. 

“Oh, no.” Ohnn shields himself behind Miles.

“What the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to blow up my city?” 

“No! No, no, no, no, no. You’ve got it all wrong.” Ohnn frantically waved his hands in the air, “I-I was just, uh, running some tests!” 

“Running tests my ass. If our last talk didn’t get it through your thick skull,” The prowler flashed his clawed gloves, taking menacing strides towards Miles and the man, “I guess I’ll have to knock some sense into you.”

“Woah, woah, woah. Easy now.” Miles attempts to mediate, but Prowler practically ignores him. 

“I have a perfectly reasonable explanation for this.” Jonathan speaks, still cowering  behind the boy.

“Which is?”

“Um…Well, heh, it’s a looooong story… ,” Jonathan rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

“We got time,” Prowler crosses his arms impatiently, “Say your piece.”

“Um, I-” Jonathan tries to get up, slipping on the floors of the cylindrical room. 

“Here.” Miles shoots a web towards the broken observation window embedded in the wall. 

“What the-”  

Before Jonathon can finish Miles grabs him and slings both of them through the window, and into the wrecked lab behind it.

“Wha-What the… I mean, thank you young man.”Ohnn musters, completely frazzled. 

“Don’t mention it.”

Before Ohnn could ask any of his burning questions, Prowler lands next to them with a thud, “Spill,” he says, “Before I make you.” 

“Well, uh, I can put on a kettle!” Jonathan makes his way to a ruined desk to a ruined desk pulling out a portable electric stove along with a now heavily dented kettle. “Do you like tea?I have Chai!”

An amused smile tugged on the The Prowlers lips “Do you have anything… stronger?” 

“Like…Oolong?” Ohnn asked sheepishly, holding up another box of tea.

“Like whiskey.”

“Um, well, I work here so…no.” Jonathan spoke through nervous laughter, “I like to keep my brain sharp! ”

“WHAT? YOU DRINK?” Miles interjected. He put his hand to his chest, borderline offended, “Aren’t we 16!”

“Ugh, let's just get this over with”, In a swift movement Prowler snatches Ohnn and slings him over his shoulder and begins to walk away.

“AH- WOAH MY GOD!”

“What are you doing!?” Miles runs after him. 

 “I'm just gonna ask him some questions,” Miles-42 plops Jonathon into a nearby wobbly office chair and begins to duct tape him. 

“You don’t have to tie him up to do that! He was cooperating! He was just about to tell us what happened!” 

“What do you mean we?” the boy scoffed, “Our deal is done man. There's the collider right there. Just zip-zap-zop it back on, or whatever, and leave. Go home.” 

“Oh no, no, no, no. I wouldn’t do that.” Jonathan leaned forward as far as he could given his whole bottom half now taped

“Why not?” the boys asked in unison.

“Ha, well, you see….uh…,” Jonathan sighed, “Okay…Full disclosure…I wasn’t just running tests earlier.” 

“Go figure,” Prowler said sarcastically.

“I was going to destroy it.” 

“Huh?” 

“The collider?” Miles asked in disbelief. 

“ Yes..” the man said ashamedly, “Well, I was trying to corrupt the files but then I got distracted when this random signal appeared on my radar … from another dimension. Earth-50101 I remember it said.  Location was a place I had never heard of… ManMumb? MamBatt?”

“Mumbattan?” Miles asked worriedly.

“Yes! It was something like that. Anyways, when I investigated the signal the strangest thing happened. This…,” Jonathan paused with a deep breath, “...I don’t know what it was- computer virus or a major malfunction or ghost of sorts took hold of everything. All the computers turned on by themselves, screeching and glitching horribly. Showing nothing but white screens. I tried to reboot the system, but none of the computers would, corporate… So I went to investigate the collider itself. Out of nowhere it too began to power on by itself.” The scientist shuddered, “For hours, I was stuck in here while that thing turned glitched on and off. Matter from that 50101 dimension even began merging with our own…” Jonathan motioned with his head for the boys to turn around. Scattered around were miscellaneous items fused together , violently glitching in and out. 

“Yeah…” Prowler concurred grimly, “Some of that stuff was randomly happening around the city. That’s why the boss called.”  

“While I was trapped…I even  began hallucinating. These black dots clouded my vision. I even saw a figure covered…It was like he was talking to me…”.

“What did he say?” Mile’s asked, his voice was laced with anxiety.

“Most of it was a garbled mess, um…” Jonathan shuts his eyes in concentration, “...Something along the lines of… ‘Won’t they be sorry?’... Well, he was very upset, that's for sure.”

“Yeah,” Miles mumbled to himself, “Like you wouldn’t believe.”

“Look, I’m not a spiritual man, but that has to be an omen of sorts. We can’t turn that thing back on.” Jonathan pleaded, “Even if it hasn’t somehow been fried in the blast, who knows what we’d be risking. If our dimensions keep merging and trading matter…”

A foreboding silence takes hold. Miles feels his body run cold. “Black dots…” he recalled, “You said you saw black dots everywhere?” 

“Yes.”

‘Shoot.’  Miles cursed under his breath. Spot did this. He’s the reason why there was that black hole swallowing Mumbattan. He thought about Pavitir, the shame of failing to stop Spot back then hitting him full force. It was all his fault, and now he had inadvertently ruined his own chances of getting home.

‘Wait a minute.’ Miles thought, ‘If Spot is responsible for the chaos in Mumbattan, then… it wasn’t because I disrupted the canon.’ Miles found himself with a renewed sense of hope, ‘Canon’s really can be broken. As long as I can figure out a way home, I can save my father.’ 

He straightened his posture and gave a deep exhale. “My name is Miles… Miles Morales. I crashed here by accident-” suddenly the boy glitches violently. This one left him gasping for air, holding his stomach on the floor.

 "-From another dimension,” he finished with a strained voice. Prowler, stunned for a moment, helps him up, awkwardly pats him on the back.

“Thanks,” Miles huffs

“Yeah. Whatever.” Prowler mumbles dismissively 

“...Those dots you saw. I know who’s responsible,” Miles continued holding his side despite himself, “His name is Spot. He’s dangerous. The spots you saw can open a portal to anywhere, dimensions included, and this guy is covered in them. If I don't leave, a lot of people including my father will be in danger.”

“Another dimension…,” Jonthon is fascinated, attempting to take in all this newfound information all at once, “I want to help you young man, I really do but…” Jonathan shoots a nervous glance at the collider just ahead of him, “It’s too risky. I’m sorry…”

“...Let me look,” Miles pleaded “I’m sure I can figure out something.” 

“Ummm-” 

“-I got an A in Physics and Auto-Robotics. Oh, and I can do this,” Miles generated some electricity from his fingertips, putting on an impressive display of blue lighting,“I’m sure that can help somehow.”

“...I don't know.”

Prowler steps forward and cracks his neck from side to side, “I’ll take it from here.”

“I know you want the collider, but please understand what's at stake-,”

Jonathon tries to protest, but to no avail. The Prowler smashes down on a big red button. A loud grating sound pierces the air as a walkway stemming from the observation deck to the collider inches forward at an agonizingly slow speed. Once finished, The Prowler simply just picks him up and wheels him down the path giving him a front row view to the machine.

 “-I wasn’t asking.” Miles-42 simply strolls up to the contraption and starts tinkering away. 

As Miles steps foot onto the metal walkway, he’s finally able to take in the surroundings of the lab. It was a lot more rudimentary than his own in brooklyn. It was an odd mix of retro and futuristic elements. The desk he had been flown into possessed a lot of older equipment, those blocky computer monitors and chunky keyboards. And yet there were also damaged, futuristic holograms flickering on and off as well as some more recent looking laptops and tablets. He looked out onto the collider itself. It was a lot bigger than the one in his own dimension, more intimidating. It took up most of the space in the room, its massive and intricate metal casings covered in various wires and panels residing on the flat walls of the cylindrical room.  If he had to guess, this collider was probably more powerful than the one at home. He thought back to Jonathon and what would’ve happened if he hadn’t saved him in time. He shuddered at the thought, ‘No wonder they had to make an emergency shield for this thing.’

“Cabrón!” Prowler shouts, “Are you helping or what?” 

“Yeah. Sorry.” Miles quickly webs over to the opposite side of the machine and begins probing at the machine. 

 “Amazing…,” Jonathan watches Miles with bated breath, “Your suit young man, is that what’s responsible for your powers?”

“Nah, I was bitten by a radioactive spider, which gave me powers,” Miles walks along the side of the machine, parallel to the ground, to further prove his point. “But the spider that bit me was a spider from this dimension, so when the machine that was to send me home scanned my DNA-”

“-It brought you here instead.”

“Exactly.” Miles squats down and lowers himself into the tunnel leading inside the collider. 

“Unprecedented. Hence the webs and…electricity?

“I can also turn invisible!” Miles yells, his voice echoing from inside the tunnel.

“Oh…my…If you don’t mind, I have a ton of questions. Are you half-spider? Do you have heightened senses? Do you excrete webs from your posterior as well?”

“No. Yes. And no, but I did have a dream about that one time and it was very… unsettling,” Miles recounted with a shudder

“Tell. Me. Everything.”  Jonathan says eyes wide through his glasses

“Please don’t!” Miles-42 speaks up, finally poking his head out from the inside of the machine. 

Jonathon turns his attention to The Prowler. He attempts to swivel his body in a chair, rolling forward using the tip of his shoes,  “And you,” he gasped slightly.  “Your weaponry is amazing. Pneumonic shoes, steel claws and a full automated retractable helmet-”

“-Not steel,” Prowler corrects, “Titanium-alloy, actually.”

“And you made it yourself?”

“Some of it. The blueprints already existed. I just… made it my own,” The Prowler shrugged halfheartedly, his interest being with the machine in front of him. He pulls out various tech parts in large clawed handfuls, “The generator Is completely fried and the motherboards are burnt to a crisp. They’ll need to be replaced completely.” He continues looking inside, “The vacuum seal and conducting coils are also out of alignment, but it shouldn't be impossible to fix.”

“Same over here!” Miles concurred, “The blast was probably what did ‘em in!”

Jonathon tries, in vain, to get a good look inside the machine from his chair. “I’d have to see it myself but if what you say is true then…yeah. It should be an easy fix.”

Prowler leaps back on the platform landing next to Jonathon. “¡Chico Araña!

Miles pops his head out the contraption “Yeah?”

“You focus on the seals, and I’ll fix the generator. Capiche?”

“Why are you helping me?” 

“I’m not. There’s a lot of money riding on this job. I’m Not quitting now.”

“Right…” Miles says clearly unconvinced

“You don’t know anything about me.”

“I think I know a bit about you. We have the same face, same age, same birthmarks probably-”

“-How do you two know each other exactly,” Jonathon cocked his head to the side “What are you…twins?...Clones?,” 

“Not exactly. I’m him from another dimension,'' Miles clarified. 

Jonathan looks back and forth, fear slowly turning to fascination. “Wha-WHa-What!? Well…This is…Miraculous! Unprecedented. Could I- May I please study you?”

“Um,I don’t know....” 

“...No.” Prowler immediately declines.

“No?” 

The boy gestures to the collider, “We got work to do, bobo.” 

“I can assure you there is valuable information, in studying the two of you-” \

“-It’s a waste of our time.” The Prowler shoved a thumb towards the inside of the machine, “We don’t need to study. We just need to fix this el hijo de puta so he can leave and I can get my money.”

“OH PLEASE! PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE!” Ohnn thrashes around excitedly, his chair to wobbly bounce  up and down, “It would only take just a few seconds. This-is-a-once-a-lifetime-opportunity-I-would-be-absolutely-HONORED-if-you-allowed-me-even-an-IOTA-of-your-valuable-time-I-”  

“-Alright. ALRIGHT!” The Prowler relents, “Before you go and give yourself a hernia.” He jumps to the deck and grabs one end of the tape and begins spinning Jonathon around at a furious speed, all the way until the tape is unraveled. 

“Thank…you,’ Jonathan dizzily wobbles off the chair before falling at Prowler's feet, “Your shoe is untied…by the way.”

“I know,” he spoke curtly, “it's a choice.” 

Once sober, Jonathon runs over the metal walkway, climbing through the broken glass window to get to the lab. 

“Careful puto!” The Prowler tsked after him loudly. 

Jonathan continues forward nonetheless, rushing to his lab with reckless abandon. “Thank god this still works, just gotta…” the scientist smacks the large monitor with his fist, “There we go.” He then hastily goes to one of the few working computers, “Alright. Now I just need DNA from the both of you.” 

The two boys look at one another with pause. 

“OH. I could turn around if you-”

Before he could say another word, the Prowler’s mask began to recede into his suit. Miles watches in bewilderment as the stone-faced boy nonchalantly pulls a strand of hair out and hands it to the man. 

“Thank y-”

Prowler places a stiff hand on his shoulder, “-You tell anyone what I look like and I will kill you.” 

Jonathon gulps and nods in response “You have my word.” Swayed, Miles peels off his mask and plucks a hair as well.

Jonathan takes both hair strands and lays them on a machine that resembles an office scanner. “Do you guys mind if I just…,” Jonathon grabs a large handheld scanner tool (Miles giggled at how it just looked like a supermarket tool) and scans both the boy's faces and then their entire persons. “Thank yooou.” He says in a sing-songy voice, giddy with glee as he ran to his computers to input more data.

 After some back and forth between typing into the chunky keyboard and eyeing the projection screens, he finally speaks. “Incredible,” the scientist mumbled under his breath, standing in marvel at the data on his huge monitors. The everchanging calculations and numbers reflecting at light speed against his glasses. 

Ohnn clears his throat “Physiological speaking, you guys are essentially 100% carbon copies of one another. Except for specimen-1610 who possesses interdimensional DNA.” 

“No shit,” Miles-42 chided.

Just then a notification pops on the screen. “Wait a minute.” Jonathan examines further, typing diligently, “I guess not. It says here that specimens from Earth-42, that’s you,” Jonathan points a sassy finger at the Prowler, “has…5 cavities.”

Miles giggles, “Really Miles?” 

Miles-42 pouts and elbows him in the side, “Shut up, Miles.” 

“Miles and Miles?”  Jonathan shakes his head like a dog, slightly disoriented his glasses, “This is going to get confusing,” He readjusted his lenses.  “How do you guys differentiate between each other?”

“Um, we don’t,” Miles said with chuckle 

“We literally just met soo…” 

“I see,” Jonathan thinks hard with his pointer finger on his chin, "How about…One of you is Miles… and the other one can be Wiles.” 

“UM-”

“-Absolutely not.”

“We’ll workshop it,” Jonathan says with a wave of his hand. Jonathan sees Prowler’s confused face through the holographic screen, making eye contact. 

“Can I ask you a question?”

“What is it, young man?”

“Why didn’t you just sell the collider? You would’ve been set for life. Easy.”

The scientist exhaled softly, “There are some things more important than money…” Jonathan stares off into space before coming to, “...Now may I ask you a question Miles?”

Both boys point at one another in confusion.

“Um…Miles of Earth 42.”

The boy snorts, “Shoot.”

“Did they…” Jonathon absentmindedly fiddles with his glasses, “...Were you sent here to kill me?”

Prowler’s eyes widen with surprise, but then he quickly composes himself. “...I’m sure you know the answer to that. You really pissed ‘em off,” he chuckled grimly, “Calling ‘em fascists and what-not.” 

“I see.” Jonathon gave a dejected laugh, “...Can I ask you another question?”

The Prowler nods. 

“Why do you do it?”

“I’m sorry?”

“You have engineering skills that can rival some of my colleagues. You possess a technical prowess that would have any major tech company begging to recruit you, yet you use those skills to do some… questionable things.” Jonathan sighs, “You are, truly, a brilliant human being, Miles. So why?... Why do you do it? ” 

 Prowler’s usual scowl softens, just for a moment, before shortly resuming his tough exterior, “Because it puts food on the table.” Prowler shifts his attention to his untied laces, “It’s not lost on me ya know, the kinds of people I work for…The less I know the easier it is to do the job.”  Miles-42 meets Jonathon’s gaze through the translucent, blue toned holograms “Never had anything against you Ohnn, but you know how it is. It’s every man for himself.” 

“You don’t know?” The scientist stumbled backwards in aghast, “You don’t know what they want to do with this?”

“No? That’s why I said-” 

“-Miles…” Jonathan scans the boy’s face in disbelief.

“...What?”

“You really have no idea?” 

“What is it?” Spiderman Morales speaks up, “What are they gonna-

“-It doesn’t matter,” Prowler interjects. “That’s none of my business.”

“Tell us,” Miles insists. However, Prowler has already begun walking away, “Well I'm not listening.”

“Bro are you serious right now-”

“-Deadass.” 

“ don’t you think it would be-

“-NEEDLESS TO SAY I KEEP HER IN CHECK, SHE WAS A BAD-BAD NEVERTHELESS” Miles-42 begin to sing noisily, hands covering his ears like a child.

“I think you’d really want to know this Miles,” Jonathan tries to reason. Undeterred, Prowler continues his tone deaf belting, mumbling over some of the lyrics before skipping to singing the few he actually knew, “OOOOOOO SOMETHINGS SHE JUST CAN'T REFUSE. SHE WANNA RIDE ME LIKE A CRUISE-”

“-Miles please-”

“-AND THEN YOU’RE LEFT IN THE DUST, UNLESS I STUCK BY YAAAH-” 

“-What are you so scared of?” \

“...Excuse me?” The Prowler finally unplugs his ears, shooting daggers into Miles’ direction. 

‘Damn, hit a nerve,’ the boy thought to himself. “I just think that maybe you’re a bit afraid to-”

“I’m not scared of anything, pendejo,” Prowler steps up to Miles instinctively straightening his back, sneering into his face. Miles puffs his chest and stands his ground. 

“Too scared to listen apparently.”

“Don’t try to psychoanalyze me, cabrón,”  "You wanna play hero in your own Brooklyn? Good for you. You go do that, but don’t come here on your fucking high horse talking some shit about boy scout-good samaritan crap.” The Prowler puts a claw to Miles' chest, “You’re in my city, boy. We play by a different set of rules here.”

Miles tried to hide the grimace on his face. He hated being called kid or boy on any given day, but this especially grinded his gear. This boy was the exact same age as him and he was still being looked down on. He still saw him as naive. Miles really couldn’t catch a break, not even from himself. 

“Then why don't you want to know? Will it kill you? Or is it because you don’t want to see how badly your actions are affecting the city you pretend to care so much about-”

“-Watch your mouth.” Prowler sneers, face dangerously close to Miles. The boy was preparing for a fight.

 “You have a choice. I know you want to be good-”

Prowler cuts him off with a violent shove, “-YOU. DON'T. KNOW. ME.”

“You know what...Fine.” Miles relents. He straightens his posture forcing Prowler to step backwards. “You know what? You’re right about one thing, I don’t know you. Maybe you don’t have a choice. Maybe this,” Miles says with a gesture to the Prowler’s suit, “is all you have. I’m not trying to tell you how to feel when you got the short end of the stick. But what I do know is that people need you Miles. Mom, Uncle Aaron, hell even Jonathon.” Miles points to the scientist, who gives a sheepish wave to his doppelganger. “

“So maybe you’re not a good guy, but I can tell you're not heartless. At least not as much as you like to pretend to be. So please man, for them… Just, hear him out. Please” 

Prowler takes a moment to mull over his words. After a prolonged silence he annoyedly clicks his tongue. “Fine… Since Softy here wants to hear a story so bad...” Prowler crosses his arms and turns to face Jonathon, “...What’s the deal with this collider?” 

“Alright…Well…” Jonathan takes a large gulp, hands placed on his desk to steady himself. “I’m sure you’re familiar with rapture.” 

“...Yes.” Prowler responded grimly

“Um, no I don’t.” 

“It’s a highly addictive drug,” Jonathon pulls up various monitors with diagrams and pictures, “Most commonly injected, but it can be ingested in any form. Smoked, snorted, you name it.”

“Symptoms include anything from hallucinations, feelings of euphoria, anxiety, paranoia.” Miles-42 adds, “Withdrawal symptoms are even worse��Half the patients my mom treats are on it.” - Prowler

“Your boss or shall I say bosses are behind it.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“They've been distributing it all around Brooklyn. They’ve been bribing the police and the mayor to turn a blind eye.”

“Yeah I’m aware.” Prowler scoffed, “But there’s an antidote If more people could afford-”

“-They make that too. That’s their whole scheme. By making the poison and the cure…’-

 “...They’re making lambs for slaughter” 

“Exactly. Unless, of course, they can pay their way out.”

“I see.” Prowler clicks his teeth, stoic face.“What’s this got to do with the collider?” 

“Everything. If the Sinister Six get this collider they’re going to distribute the drug into every multiverse they can get their hands on. And they won’t just stop there. Internet, casinos, technology, politics even. They want to monopolize every industry they can get their hands on and they won’t stop until they have complete and total control. Once they take Brooklyn… No one is safe.

 “Mierda…” Prowler mumbled under his breath

“Scorpio Pharmaceutical has even made a new, more addictive batch. Who knows how long before that strain hits the streets-”

Prowler interrupts with a loud sharp inhale. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he paces around for a few moments, eyes scanning the ground like a vulture looking for scraps. 

“FUCK!” Miles-42 shouts, brutally kicking a piece of glitching material

“Dude-”

”-FUCK! FUCK! FUCKING! FUCK!¡MALDITA SEA!”

Prowler has angry tears, hiding his face in his clawed hands  “I don’t want to deal with this shit again”. 

Jonathon and Miles concerned glances, “Again?” Jonathan says. 

Prowler doesn’t budge. Instead, he just looks at the two with red teary eyes and a despondent frown

“Whatever you say here will stay between us.” Miles assures “Promise.”

Prowler takes a deep breath, speaking with his eyes glued to the ground “My dad used to investigate the rapture cartel. He was incredibly passionate about it, said it was the main reason he joined the force."He gave a somber chuckle, “I wanted to be just like him. I would sneak out in my own homemade Prowler suit and steal medicine, dropping it off at my mom’s hospital. Everyone was telling him to lay off it . Even my Uncle Aaron. One time these big scary guys came to the house with these suitcases full of money trying to bribe him. You wanna know what he said, he told them to fuck right off,” Miles-42 recalled with a bitter laugh. “Man, nothing could get that man down…One day during a haul I messed up. Big time. The police were called and he got caught in the crossfire and…” 

“I’m sorry. That must’ve been hard… I-I know what it feels like to lose someone you love, Just know it’s not your fault.”

“...I know” .

“It doesn't have to be this way man. I’m sure we can figure out another way to do things. And I'll do whatever I can to help. I promise.”

“It’s too late for me...I’ve given up too much to stop now..” 

    “Just…” Miles pats him on the shoulder reassuringly “Sigue adelante hermano.”

Miles-42 chuckled, “You know, you talk like a gringo.” 

Miles shrugs embarrassedly “Well, I did get a B in Spanish.” 

 “Aye Dios Mio,” Prowler cringes, “If my mom found out she would tear me a new one.”  

“Nearly killed mine,” Miles chuckled, “Long story short, I’m grounded…For a month”

“Aye.” Prowler shook his head, “Sounds like ma. ”

“At least she’s stopped using the chancla.” 

Prowler shuddered at the thought, “On the culito?’

“Yep.” Miles instinctively rubbed his backside at the thought. It had been years since he was spanked by his parents out of discipline. Luckily, they grew out of the practice. They got more results out of him just by talking to one another as opposed to hitting him. Though, that’s probably not how they felt right now. His heart ached at the reminder of his last conversation with his parents. How he left without saying a word. They were probably worried sick about him. He definitely deserved the chancla from them, that was if he ever saw them again…

“She would alway say ‘I’m doing this because I love you.” Miles recalled out loud with a shake of his head, 

“Or when they would be like, ‘This hurts me more than it hurts you.”

“YES!” Miles exclaimed, “What was with that? As they're literally whooping my ass, like, UGH!” 

“Damn,” Prowler chuckled, “Never thought I would have anyone to talk to about this.”

“Good to know that some things stay the same across the multiverse.” 

 Prowler looked stunned, his demeanor softened “Yeah… Yeah. Of course.” 

   “Okay, so I’m not usually supposed to tell people this buuut, Scorpo sends a lot of their products to Alchemex for…,” Jonathan bit his lip, “...Testing. If you catch my drift. I’d bet money that there’s a batch sitting in the medical laboratory on the bottom floor.” Jonathon gave an innocent, yet knowing shrug. “Soooo, do with that what you will…”

“I’ll get it,” both boys spoke up in unison. 

“No way man.” Prowler refuses.

“I can turn invisible, it’ll be a lot safer.” Miles refutes, “Plus you’re probably the smarter one out of us two. I'm sure Jonathon can use your help here. ”

Prowler shook his head “Yeah but this is my problem, not yours.” He pointed towards the collider behind them, “Don’t you want to make sure this goes off without a hitch? That it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.

 “I trust you.” Miles spoke amicably with a shrug and a smile, “I promised to do whatever I can to help you out. And I meant it.” he playfully patted his arm. “See you in a bit, man.” 

As Miles turns to pull on his mask, it hits him.The spider senses. Not the usual kind. This one was more rare. It felt like…family. Community. It was similar to when he first met Peter Parker, the spider predecessor of his own Brooklyn. What would usually be a comforting feeling instead sent his heart into overdrive. 

‘They found me.’ 

“I need you guys to listen to me very carefully.” Miles' carefree attitude has been swapped for a more frantic disposition.

“What is it?”

“Que?” 

“There’s these people, this interdimensional spider cult, and they’re trying to keep me some saving my dad-”

“-What? Why?”

“Because of this weird algorithm they follow. They believe if I save him, it'll be the end of the world. If they find me they’ll lock me up.” 

Prowler and Jonathon looked stunned and at loss for words. They share a look of disbelief amongst themselves before returning their gaze back at Miles. 

“Interdimensonal cult?” Jonathan asked. 

“They’re gonna lock you up?” Prowler inquired amused.

“Just tell them that you haven’t seen me. Whoever comes here looking for me, they can't be trusted.”

“...Okey dokey...” 

“...Whatever you say man...”

“Thank you guys.” Miles pulls them all into a quick hug which Jonathon willingly returns. Prowler, whoever is completely caught off guard, his arms remain stiffly at his sides. 

“You guys are the best!” Miles shouts before shooting a web and 

“Yeah, whatever,” Prowler mumbles to himself  before he resumes working. Feeling watched, he turns to Jonathan who, low and behold, is looking at him, beaming with delight.

What?”

“It’s just- When you first came here you came with the intention to do god-knows-what to me. Now look at you, spoiling the Sinister Six’s plans and helping that young man find his way home. Forgive me for saying this, but you’re a lot nicer than you let on.”

“I’m just returning the favor,” he spoke dismissively, intentionally avoiding the gaze of the man next to him. 

“Which means you’re a decent man.”

“You say that when I was sent here to kill you.”

“And you didn’t! Even when I saw your face. You may put on a tough act but deep down you’re like a cute little cinnamon roll!”

Miles wrinkled his nose, “Call me that again and I just might.”

Jonathan let out a boisterous laugh, “You’re funny.”

“Yeah…You too I guess… Maybe there's another you on Earth-1610.”

“Perhaps, given the two of you boys exist.” Jonathan begins filling a kettle with water, “I wonder what I’m like. OOH! What if I have super powers too? And I’m like a superhero-super scientist.” He readjusts his glasses, running a hand through his hair, “I bet I’m really handsome.” 

“Really?” 

  Jonathon chuckles, “Not to brag, but I’ve been told I’m pretty handsome by scientist standards.” 

Miles snorts, “I’m sure you are, Ohn.”  Jonathan beams and resumes his work. ‘What an interesting turn of events’, the scientist thought to himself. Not too long ago, he was sure he was going to be murdered, noe; he felt endeared to the young man and his identical counterpart. Plus the new found discovery of new dimensions and… multiversal cults? The man shook his head at the thought, it was all definitely a first for him.  ‘Nonetheless, it's a new dawn.’ He assured himself,‘Good things are coming, I can feel it.’

sorry for the long wait. new chapter soon. happy new year :)

[saskiacornelli]

Quotes that made me feel shit

“Our love wasn’t the kind of love that was written in the cards… it was the kind of love that burned them.”

“Do villains have hearts baby?”

“Always a rebel, forever a soldier, one as a lover, the other don’t bother.”

“Always a rebel forever soldier, one as a lover, the other forever

“I fed them chaos… …so they swallowed me whole. “

“I prefer the men who lurk in dark, dusty corners. After all, that’s where all the secrets lie.”

“You only think I’m perfect because you haven’t seen my soul”. 

“The thing about the people who know how to ignite your rage are usually the only people who also know how to put it out”.

“A smile is strong enough to conceal sadness, because it’s easier for people to acknowledge that someone is happy, rather than offer sympathy for another’s desolation.”

“She wasn’t pretty or attractive. She was damn right lethal and she fucking knew it.”

“I was a Doll, but I wasn’t made of plastic. I was constructed of the names of all those who’d wronged me…” 

“All three of us lived with damage. None of it made sense, the pieces didn’t fit; until we met each other.”

“Love will never die if it exists on the lips of death.”

“Once you’ve tasted the bitter tang of sin on the tip of your tongue, you’ll do everything you can to drink from its poison for the rest of your life.”

“I live for chaos. I bathe in it, dance in it, and fuck in it”

“People who know too much are walking time bombs, ready to explode and exploit at any moment. They have too much control.”

“You are brutally beautiful in your own way”

“Knock knock, bitch now let the devil in”

“Stuck between a rock and a hard place, so I dug her fucking grave screaming, this bitch can’t be saved”

“Fuck love, but it’ll fuck you too…”

“I’ll take away your sadness with my deranged madness.”

“The most beautiful faces hide the darkest souls.”

“Could the same hands that end lives be the same ones to make mine come alive”

“In the dark is where wilted flowers grow, they get watered with the blood of his enemies and the fluid from my broken heart.”

“A wish is just a sentence that’s said aloud in the hopes of it coming true.”

“You’re not just a switch for my humanity, you’re a goal trigger for my rage too.”

“I’d much rather sleep in darkness. It’s where my thoughts reside.”

“My knight was darkness, fighting fire with fire- I fought darkness with darkness.”

“In our world of shattered reflections that look back at us, I’m the girl who wants to dance with the devil.”

“I was light, and I was pure until I wasn’t.”

“Your mind is like your very own diary, locked and sealed between the gushing of blood that is being courted through the fibers of your cranium.”

“The devil should run.”

“I was made for war, not for love. I don’t want to break people. I want them to be broken already. I don’t want to feel that way, but I can’t help myself.”

“Love is savage, love is blind, love is something they may not find…”

“The most crippling pain

That comes isn’t from losing your lover, it’s from losing something that was so precious that you didn’t deserve it to begin with.”

“Some angels have the devil on their side…”

“Love doesn’t care who it destroys to get what it wants.”

“His eyes were the entrance to Hell, and every time he looked at you, he would draw you in closer to the burning iron gates.”

“Lost can be whole again once it has been found.”

“To rare for earth, too doomed for heaven.”

“If he wants a show I’ll give him mayhem.”

“I don’t care if I will fall in love with a devil, as long as that devil will love me the way he loves hell.”

“He set fire to the world, but never let a flame touch her.”

“His love is aphotic, but she’s willing to drown in it.” 

“He held a darkness that could never be touched. She carried a light that could never be seen.”

“A dream is just a nightmare wearing makeup.”

“There’s no price to power; there’s just blood.”

“He told me he loved me. And that may be true, but the only thing left between us, is broken and strewed.”

“Till death we don’t part because even if we do die, our souls still continue to find each other.”

“This world was all fun and games right up until the finally came.”

“I’ve always been one that would prefer to dance with danger than walk with the mundane.”

“To all the fuckers who said I would never amount to anything.

*grins*

Sup.”

The devil furnishes his darkest souls with the prettiest smiles.

And as I was in the darkness so darkness I became.

Most people want to be the sun that lights up your life, but I’d rather be the moon that shines don on you in your darkest hours

Our love tore everything apart… including each other 

Tricksters don’t have hearts. They just pretend they do.

Trouble never looked so fine

She knows who she is. She just forgot it for a little while.

Tell the wolves I’m home

Family ain’t who your born with. It’s who you die for. 

What if the same hands that soothe me are the same hands that harm me

I kind of want to eat u rn

Later. I want to play first

My karma may be a bitch, damn that bitch is beautiful

I was the trick that they could never play. 

She was the greatest game of all…

There was elegance that comes from being carved from the ashes of all the darkness that surrounds you in the world. 

You start as dust, and you end as dust. At least that’s what I always thought. 

I wasn’t someone who needed protecting… they were. 

People whispered his name in fear. I screamed it when he was in between my thighs. 

You may be a princess on the streets and people may fall to their knees in your presence, but in here? You’re my little fucking toy, and the only one kneeling will be you. 

I was her weapon but she forgot to protect her heart.

She wore a thousand faces all to hide her own

Who needs enemies when you have memories that torture you all the time

They say drowning is the most peaceful death, I can imagine why.

To protect a monster, one must be a monster 

The darkness has always lingered inside me, I’ve just subdued it by feeding it my fears 

When you’ve been raised by monsters, they teach you how to exist with them

A killer’s love is as violent as the art in which they take lives.”

Cheers to more bodies dropping. As the old saying goes, may they all rest in pieces.

He exists within darkness so that I can be the light to guide him home

She can see through people. Their lies, their secrets, and the decayed skeletons they try to hide in their closet 

In or messed-up way, the Cherry will always symbolize our bond. We grew as a pair from the earth and shared the same flesh and blood. When one is disconnected from the other, we rot and die. I rot…. And die

Betrayal is a poison , and once you taste it, you can’t get it out

My life is full of messy people who don’t always make the right choices 

Before he was the Devil’s pet… He was mine. 

They killed lots of people, but they would hug me if I’m crying 

She was fearless, and crazier than him. She was his queen. And god help anyone who disrespected his Queen

I’ve seen the devil more than I’ve seen god

The prettiest smiles hide the darkest secrets 

The prettiest eyes have cried the most 

The kindest hearts have felt the most pain

You thought you could live like a saint but forgot that you’re claimed by am Antichrist

Beauty is the deadliest curse of all because it tricks you into thinking you’re attracted to it

People don’t just disappear, other people just stop looking for them

There was a women who also sought the light but it burned her and she fell into darkness 

I’ve always loved messing with people who try to hard at life

They wanted to own me… I just wanted to survive them

He wasn’t cold to be cruel. He was cold out of necessity to survive a brutal world.

I think I scare him as much as he scares me

The foe, the weapon, the ruse, the liar 

Not all soulmates are lovers

Bloodied and broken with the kind of torment that breeds, but never dies. 

A story about two souls destined to be together, but who are trapped in bodies that hate each other 

The stories would never die… not until the real one at least has been told. 

It all started with a game. The kind of trickery that poisons your heart because it knows the mind is week

A daughter, a friend… a liar 

To the people that fuck red flags. Saddle up. 

Hades hollow has a secret, and like the bones of our ancestors that live beneath the waters here, it should stay dead. 

He had eyes that matched the gates of hell and an air about him that made all the warning bells inside my head go off 

I have to know what freedom tastes like on the tip of my tongue 

The worst part about regret is the fact that you do t know when it’s going to hit you. 

The only people who get killed are those ignoring the signs. 

Diavoli dell’oceano (The devils of the ocean)

Who you are today will not be who you’re going to be tomorrow 

He was everything bad that no one should ever want, much less a Queen

There are whispers that go through the streets, and all of them begin and end with us

Bloodied and broken with the kind of torment that breeds, but never dies

Make the high and mighty low arrogant creatures down you go

If I can't have you, my love, I'll destroy you!

if he loves another and gives his heart, then magic will appear and everything he loves will die

Sleeping flame, I summon thee / To your form return / Make the night as bright as day / And burn, baby, burn!

Break my heart. Break it a thousand times if you like. It was only ever yours to break. 

When it comes to the high seas. Not all monsters lurk beneath the surface 

Never break in somewhere unless you know the way out

The only ones that aren’t afraid are the monsters

It’s always the prettiest girls who think they’re ugly

"If it's death that I've chosen, then so be it. Let it flow through my veins."

Sometimes you think you want to disappear but all you really want is to be found

I was so lost in hatred and revenge. You stole what was left of my heart 

You think no one loves you, and yet you attracted the devil babygirl 

Evil queens are just princesses that were never saved 

If you treat me like a game, then I’ll show you how it’s played 

If I can’t have you my love, I’ll destroy you.

Beautiful boy, you don’t even realize that some people look at your madness and see nothing but grace and brilliance 

Why should I apologize for the monster I’ve become? No one ever apologized for making me this way

If I can still breathe I’m fucking fine

Didn’t your mother ever tell you to never shake hands with a demon

Never hide your bad side to make someone stay, show your bad side and see who will stay

People don’t change. They reveal who they really are 

Someday someone will break you so badly that you will become unbreakable 

I’ll never be that me again

Fuck death till us part. Hell better lock its gates if I ever loose you. 

To the girls who think that the grim reaper will fuck like a god

When we’re young we’re taught the distinction between a hero and a villain, good and evil, a savior and a lost cause. But what if the only real difference is who’s telling the story

I found my own light when you left me in the darkness 

Hell is empty and all the devils are here 

The people that are the most broken and the saddest are the ones that would do absolutely anything for anyone else. 

Sweet as sugar cold as ice hurt me once, I’ll break you twice

She wanted to feel loved without feeling like she was begging for it

She’s fading away slowly and not noticing 

She passed her hardest moments alone when everyone thought she was fine 

He’s not gods disciple he’s Lucifer’s little bitch

Don’t enter the den of wolves and ask not to be bitten 

You’re my heaven and I’m your hell

I want toxic. I want madness. I want someone who makes me question my sanity 

They say even monsters have weaknesses

Yeah, he is a liar. But he’s a liar that loves you

To the girls who fall for villains… Their hearts are only black until you tear them out 

He was always there to take my hand… even if it was to lead me straight to hell.

Every time you fall, I’ll catch you. Even with blood on my hands  

You’d lose your mind trying to understand mine 

And suddenly, sadness turns to anger 

My mother didn’t raise a fool. A psychotic cold-hearted bitch, but not a fool

Some children are simply born with tragedy in their blood 

Quietly she fell apart 

I wanted to feel love without feeling like I was begging for it 

Personally I’m both fucked-up and misunderstood 

But it made you stronger

I was a child

I didn’t need to be stronger 

I needed to be safe 

I feel like it’s my anger that has helped keep me alive 

Being raised by cold eyes taught me not to cry

Run, and when you come back burn this place to the ground 

So heartless yet so full of feelings 

I have slit throats far more beautiful then yours 

A part of me always knew you weren’t villain in my story

They were the product of every nightmare you were told as a child, only now, they don’t go bump in the night. 

They throw parties to conceal your morbid games, and leave behind the chaos that can never be tamed. 

My biggest fear is that you see me the way I see myself

Abuse can feel like love. 

We are all born beautiful. The greatest tragedy is being convinced we are not.

The problem with trauma is it leaves its scars behind, so it knows exactly where to find them again when it comes back. And it does, it always comes back. 

Yeah I’ve done some pretty horrible things to survive but unlike you poor, delicate, (insert there name) I deal with my shit. You wouldn’t last one day without everyone fawning over you.

I am the object of his art, his desire, and his depthless scorn 

When you make someone fall in love with the darkest parts of you, there’s nothing you can do that will scare them away.

This shadow ruined every expectation I had of seeing the light

I fell so deeply that I’ve found myself in the devils lair being feasted on from the dark god himself

Humans don’t need to decorate themselves in gory make-up and fake blood to be scary. It’s the insides of us- the darkness that lurks beneath the surface that’s what truly fucking terrifying. 

The fun has only just begun little mouse.

When he walks through the room, it’s like the darkness cringes to him. He is darkness.

They’ll soon realize that I sit on the fucking throne, and their nightmares, bow to me.

You might be a psycho, but you’re my psycho, and I’m yours 

To the world, she is formidable. 

To me?

She is the world.

I was certain I would never love him. And now that the rain has calmed, my resolve has shattered, and I’m left with a screaming heart and a silenced world 

For centuries. Both of us wearing different faces, inhabiting different bodies. But the same souls, colliding over and over, until this planet decides to crumble and our souls have nowhere else to go 

Parsons Manor will always be destined to be the house that burns and takes lives 

I always thought I would be protected. Untouchable. I thought I was unbreakable, but I’m the right hands, anyone can be fragile. 

When love grows where have was planted, you don’t get flowers. Just thorns.

Pretending your demons don’t exist doesn’t make them stop chasing you… only slows the race. 

He saw the devil in her beauty, she saw the beauty in his darkness

Life was nothing more than a mask used to forgive someone for all the wrong they did. Love didn’t exist. Obsession did. 

In darkness, even the violent burn of hatred could lead you home

Cunning. Unexpected. Not to be fucked with. Gentle but not soft. 

Forgiveness wasn’t a currency I’d ever spend. If you crossed me I’d simply make you pay.

People don’t tell you their lies. They show them.

In sin, and until the last drop, long live the EKC until our hearts stop

I’d felt the thunder of her dark side over the years, but I was yet to taste its rain. 

The weight of love can be trained to straighten you, or it will be the anchor that drowns you.

Love is like cocaine. Easy to snort, hits fast, but then you realize it’s not worth it.

Betrayal is a wound that most girls cannot forget, it cuts deeper than love itself. That’s why it lingers in our blood as a reminder to us that men like (name) exist, and why at the end of the day, they’ll only ever be some guy you thought you loved 

To love a beast, you must be a best. 

They say you could feel the shadow of death before it took you. And tonight, that shadow was here

If I wasn’t so tired, all I’d be able to feel are the new wounds over my heart.

The hardest part about sharing any kind of trauma with people is sometimes, we don’t want to give the ones we love the pain that we’ve held on to

What’s your favorite food? 

If you let me taste you, it might just be you

I am strong. I am wild. I am a survivor 

Are you still a survivor if you can’t remember the darkest part of your memories

Hit him hard and hit him deep. Strike the heart and make him weep. 

Mater et luna voco, redde unde exierunt, Cinis cinerem. Pulvis sunt pariter 

This women came straight from the pits of hell. She’s strong, smart, and cunning. 

I heard true love never dies, but your love killed me.

She was wild but loyal

She was like the moon, part of her was always hidden away. 

She was wild but loyal 

She was the type to fall in love with the stars  and everything that was beautifully unreachable 

Her angel eyes saw the good in many devils

The devil furnishes his darkest souls with the prettiest smiles

He came into this alley as the predator. He’ll die as the prey 

To defeat a monster, you have to be twice as monstrous. To love a monster, you have to share your soul

They took too much. Left too little. I had nothing to lose, until him. 

My mind is whole, even if my soul is not. 

She’s resistive and unattainable. She has everyone yearning for her attention, only to feed them crumbs

I’ll pain the town red just like they painted the streets with our blood

The time for secrets is over. Tell my story. Save your soul. 

I thought love would rip my heart out. 

I thought it would set me on fire. 

Instead, it turned me to ice. 

I’m still the twisted monster in the night while your the honest hero in the light

Mentally, I was a slut. Physically, I was terrified of intimacy. Spiritually, I didn’t like men. 

You walk a fine line between macabre and uncharacteristically psychotic 

Seduce and destroy

You can play hard to get all you like. I fucking love the chase.

And I like to run

Let the games begin baby

With the fallen, I rise

With the broken, I cry

With the lost, I find my own 

With the outcasts, I am home 

With the forgotten, I remember

With the chaos, I am centered 

With the wrong, I find the right

With the exiled, I will fight

To all the book sluts who go feral over masked strangers that fuck like they kill… I got you

She was the sea. Calm but so deep

She was like the moon, part of her was always hidden away

Take my hand, take my whole life too and dance with me in the dark

The Devil and I get along just fine

Divine violence

A Prophecy of Secrets & Poison

Secrets are cancer, so here’s a truth. I know yours. They were never meant for you!

It’s crazy how trauma makes you push people away when all you want is love

If they tried to take her from him, he’d rip the world apart with his bare hands. And for some reason that didn’t scare him

She’ll know all my secrets except one: that I’m in love with her 

In the trauma of my death, I became the Aglaeca. Those who died by the monster's hand had already been warned. They made their choice. Just as you did.

They say I’m emotionless. I’m not. Because I hated her.

It’s giving little red riding hood if she loved the wolf

They created a monster and asked why I bite

He wanted to play games… but forgot who he was playing with 

Love is a theme park, so let’s burn this bitch down.

They say true love never dies. But they never cut deep enough

She tried to hide her demons… so I ripped her apart to get them. Wonder if they tasted the same way they did all those years ago 

They had the kind of love…that should never exist

[intheshadows66623]

SPOILER ALERT!!!

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE SEASON 2 EPISODE 5:

I'm being so, so honest when I say that after Interview with the Vampire season 2 episode 5, Armand is fucking scary. I don't think I have ever been so triggered and shaky and emotional after an episode in my life.

I can't even imagine how Louis is going to feel or is even currently feeling. That's years of important moments of Louis' life that have been messed with or taken. "Memory is a monster. We forget. It doesn't." Dude, his subconscious knows, and he's been sitting here trying to make sense of why he did things, why he reacted certain ways. He hasn't been able to trust himself. The list goes on and on about how fucked up this shit is and was. What in the ever living fuck?! At this point, has any choice he's made been consensual? Pieces of him and what make him him have been gone and have been taken from him. There's not enough to make a fully formed choice. Choices were taken away from him.

Now, Louis has all of these controversial traits and personalities he has to come to terms with, accept, and figure out how they go with each other. He has to bring them all together and figure out how to mesh all these pieces together, all while having to deal with the fact that this was done to him. That's not even mentioning the fact that he is now and will likely continue to be bombarded with all of these suppressed traumas and emotions at once. Can you imagine how fucking overwhelming that has to be?! He's got to feel like a ticking time bomb, man. This man is going to explode. His head is probably a huge fucking mess right now. I'm struggling to even put it into words right now.

And watching as he started to get pieces of his memory in a flashback and immediately set out to kill himself by sunlight and burning alive?! I don't even know what to say outside of the fact that my heart fucking hurt.

Anyways, point is, Armand fucking scares me. Between what he did to Louis and Daniel..... No, just no. Don't get me wrong, I understand to a certain degree certain aspects of his character and why he felt the need to go to such extremes, but just the thought of what he's done to these two alone in this episode, the things that he's said. No, just no. He absolutely scares me.

The actor who plays him, Assad, did a phenomenal job! All of the actors did! The episode was amazing! Wow!!!

Also, I'm sorry if it's a little jumbled or scattered or not well explained or thought out! It's five in the morning, I'm tired, but my thoughts would not let me sleep!

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 Divine Rivals Book Review 🦇

Find my review below.

❝ I think we all wear armor. I think those who don’t are fools, risking the pain of being wounded by the sharp edges of the world, over and over again. But if I’ve learned anything from those fools, it’s that to be vulnerable is a strength most of us fear. It takes courage to let down your armor, to welcome people to see you as you are. ❞

❓ #QOTD Have you ever had a pen pal OR what book do you want to read before the end of the year? ❓

❝ Perhaps it begins with one person. Someone you trust. You remove a piece of armor for them; you let the light stream in, even if it makes you wince. Perhaps that is how you learn to be soft yet strong, even in fear and uncertainty. One person, one piece of steel. ❞ 🦇 For centuries the gods have slept, only to drag mortals into their feud upon waking. After her brother leaves to fight, 18-year-old Iris Winnow strives to support herself and her mother. She'll need to win the columnist position at the Oath Gazette to do so. Only one problem: her rival, Roman Kitt, who seems to have everything handed to him. In her brother's absence, Iris drafts letters to him on her nan's old typewriter. After slipping them under her wardrobe door, they vanish―unknowingly, into the hands of Kitt. As they write back and forth to one another, they forge a connection stronger than any war. Can the kindled hope between them survive this world?

💜 The mingled scents of black tea and smeared ink, the clatter of an old typewriter, and the vulnerable longing left by loss. Add a dash of magic, wailing sirens, the echoes of bombs exploding...it all seems like a recipe for disaster, not an enemies-to-lovers romantasy novel, and yet, these key ingredients set Divine Rivals apart as one of the must-read novels of the year. Rebecca Ross has crafted a clever, enthralling love story that perfectly balances whimsy, fear, longing, and mystery with this deeply emotional, spellcasting first installment. The shared heartache for those they miss and lost unites Iris and Roman in ways they don't even realize from the start. The magic of their typewriters and the vague mythology behind the war mix well with the historical setting. It's the almost-lyrical, poetic prose of their love letters that is perhaps most striking. With each letter, they both shed a bit of the armor they hide behind, revealing scars and vulnerabilities underneath. What starts as an enemies-to-lovers romance full of sass, wit, and charm becomes so much more. By the last few chapters, this story will take grasp of your heart, seep into your bones, and trigger intense feelings of longing until the second novel is in your hands.

💜 Iris is a heroine you can stand behind and root for from the first page, but it's Roman who holds the cards in the first half of the novel. Watching him fall first (initially through the love letters), while struggling with guilt, grief, and his familial debt was a beautifully painful experience. I've experienced part of Iris' journey, falling for someone through pen and page; Ross captures that enamorment perfectly. For the most part, the story is more historical fiction than fantasy. The magic seeps into the roots of the story, adding bewitching elements without stealing from the star of the show: the growing feelings between Iris and Roman. They find love in the dark, a spark of happiness in moments of fear and despair. Iris experiences so much loss, only to gain a found family (also, sapphic ship alert!). I rarely, rarely say this, but this is the type of story I'd love to see on screen.

🦇 Since this is a slow-burn romance, the pacing does drag at times, especially in the first half. While Ross' choice to sprinkle hints of the mythology and magic throughout the story leaves readers to focus on the character development and romance, it does keep us entirely in the dark. Though the rivalry between the gods started centuries ago, it seems strange that there's little known about its origins. Even the snippets Roman finds (which paint Darce and Enva like Hades and Persephone) feel incomplete. The world-building holds us at arm's length from the fantasy side of the novel until the very end, causing the final chapter to feel nearly out of place. It seems the mythology was restricted only for the shock value of that final chapter.

🦇 Recommended to fans of VE Schwab, Sarah J Maas, Jennifer L Armentrout, Lore, and Fourth Wing.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 🖋️ Rivals to Lovers/Dual POV 💌 Found Family 🖋️ Love Letters/Witty Banter 💌 Historical Fiction/Fantasy/Romantasy 🖋️ War Setting 💌 Magic, Myths, and Gods 🖋️ He Falls First 💌 Slow Burn

[fallsky-19]

lone wanderer oc vs courier six oc

lore down below, if youre interested:

so im on unoriginal bitch but my lone wanderer and courier six are one person, CourierSix!Fall being 29 years old (i am following the canon timeline of the game as well as the age of the player character, so LW!Fall is 19 when she left the vault)

her lore is based on my first playthrough of the 3d fallout games (my Sole Survivor is related to Fall, being a distant, distant, DISTANT relative 200 years up in the family tree), so here's a rundown.

LW!Fall takes after her father, being studious and looking up to him. she grows up to be smart and was slated to be the next vault doctor under her father's guidance when the events of the start of fallout 3 happen. thrust out into the unforgiving wasteland and forced to learn so much in such a short time, she meets burke in megaton and, after trying so hard to keep her cool with moira and her endless perilous errands, LW!Fall rigs the atomic bomb in the heart of the small town to explode. she blew it up due to burke's offer as well but shh

shes proficient with energy weapons and is surprisingly agile for someone who's led a barely active lifestyle the past 19 years in a vault, sticking to the books and all. she's traipsing between good and evil morals that both the regulators and the talon company constantly jump at bounties put on her head because she can really just flip the switch between being an angel solving all your problems and overall someone you could rely when you need to know something/get something done, to downright apathetic trigger-happy marksman who can clear the entire room in seconds (GRIM REAPER'S SPRINT BABY).

storyline follows the game, as usual, she finds her dad, helps him with the project, everything goes downhill, LW!Fall meets President Eden and fucking short circuits the AI in their first meeting and runs out of the Enclave HQ as its destroying itself as payback for General Autumn killing James after LW!Fall swore she was going to kill the man and made sure he heard it. then she finishes project purity, elects to contain the radiation in the heart of the purifier rather than sentinel lyons, gets radiation poisoning and is saved by the brotherhood, goes to the pitt, kicks ashur's ass and takes the baby for the greater good yada yada.

being an honorary member of the brotherhood and with things looking up for the DC area, LW!Fall really has nothing else to do other than to wait for her to be called on by the Brotherhood for guidance or special missions. there's nothing really left for her there since her dad is already dead and both the organization and the man who killed him are dead. on top of that, she feels EXTREMELY guilty about what she did to megaton, though she never told anyone else she did it other than James who sussed her out from the start.

she left for the Mojave, starting over and working as a courier, where life is quiet and she never had to pick up a gun ever again, though clean water is hard to find, but she gets by.

then the events of new vegas happens and thus starts Fall's emergence to be Courier Six. albeit this time, with experience from her Lone Wanderer days, she's a calmer, more rational, still trigger-happy but at least the energy is now focused on using it for the greater good, loves hacking terminals and snooping around, learning about the old world more and more, being chill with yes man and actually talking it out with people rather than shooting first.

tl;dr: local retired vaultie just wanted to rest only to get bopped in the head. proceeds to let the mojave find out that the person who changed DC has been with them for the past 10 years

[screenmaven]

Films I’ve Loved This Year

I have already written reviews on some of them (not seen in this post), that you can already read here. So make sure to also do that.

I’m completely laid out in bed extremely sick, I thought between the delusional fevers, bomb exploding headaches, and literally feeling like I’m dying, I’d share the other films I’ve absolutely enjoyed watching this year.

I started up a separate account via Instagram to just post film, but having multiples is beginning to be too much, so from now on any other film content aside from the blog here will be on @ starrymayx.

So to start off the list here we go…

These 90s “Noir” films started my whole new movie Escapades, and I’m so glad they did -

Bad Influence, Guilty As Sin, Pacific Heights, Whispers in The Dark, Dream Lover, Untamed Heart, White Palace

Here are the others…

Thrashin - 1986

Starring: Josh Brolin, Pamela Gidley

Brooke McCarter (RIP homie), Sherilyn Fenn, Robert Rusler, & Josh Richman

Anthony Kiedis + RHCP

Tony Hawk, Kevin Staab, Mike McGill, Jimmy Star

What I liked: There was so much awesomeness in this film and a feel good story of triumph. Basically it’s about two skateboarding gangs, having beef, mix in lots of skating, graffiti, punk rock aesthetics, and a love story, and you have yourself a pretty badass film. Plus they overcome their rivalry in the LA Massacre challenge, and there’s even several rat tails. 🤣 Definitely worth a watch!

I really wish I could skateboard. I would have been so rad. To all my skater friends and Bo’s over the years, mad respect. 🤘🏻

The House on Sorority Row - 1983

Director: Mark Rosman

I swear Scream Queens was influenced by this film.

I really liked it. Loved the lighting, still had a seventies type feel, storyline was really good. Definitely a film to check out if you like really good horror, without all the super special effects.

*For any strobe light sensitive people* like myself out there, there is a scene where it’s wild,

Pump Up The Volume ✊🏻 1990

Director Allan Moyle

This movie is 🔥 Definitely a pioneer for all things talk radio but from a non-narrative perspective. Films like this and indie radio programs paved the way for our now podcasts. I loved the way it was written, the development of the characters personal selves, and breaking the rules.

I love me some Christian Slater 💓

The soundtrack is also amazing!

From Richard Hell, Leonard Cohen, Beastie Boys, Ice T, & more! I’ll link the soundtrack in my stories.

*trigger warning: there is a scene that deals with suicide and those scenes always get me. So I wanted to mention that.

Out of Bounds - 1986

Director- Richard Tuggle

Cinematography - Bruce Surtees

Starring: Anthony Michael Hall

Siouxsie and the Banshees 🤘🏻💓

& Meatloaf (in like 3 scenes)

What I liked: The cinematography of downtown LA & Venice Beach California, (actually the whole film is beautifully done). The 80’s colors, Dizz’s home, her style. The fact that Anthony Michael Hall was a badass hero, taking down a heroin drug man with his knife throwing skills. Really good film.

2 Days in The Valley - 1996

Written and Directed by: John Herzfeld.

Starring: James Spader, Eric Stolz & Charlize Theron

Synopsis: 48 hours of intersecting lives and crimes in The Valley of Los Angeles.

Why I liked it: Artsy Cinematography, James Spader obviously, and the correlation of numerous parties all being connected, going through individual stuff but being thrown into the mix of chaos. Plus sunglasses just seem to add viable cred to it. Why are sunglasses so cool yet mysterious?

Shampoo - 1975

Director: Hal Ashby

Starting Julie Christie, Goldie Hawn, & Warren Beatty

I throughly enjoyed this film mainly due to the Jim Morrison/Sharon Tate style vibes it gave off throughout, and all the stylish decor/fashion. The Morrison looking guy played by (Warren Beatty) is basically a lover to many of his women hair clients (he does hair).

I really appreciate the 70’s swank and aesthetic appeal in this film. I’m also obsessed with Julie Christie’s glam Tate starlet look and I wish I could pull off bangs! Goldie Hawn is also in here and a younger Carrie Fisher.

From the 70s eye shadow, purple outfit I want, the main girls style, glamorous hair, river grotto, la house party with body paint and strobe lights (which that part I had to turn away - sensitive), it still rocked.

Based in the LA canyon/hills it’s definitely worth a watch to see the web of desire and aesthetic unfold. Keep your eye out for the creepy art in one of the scenes that just didn’t quite belong. 😳

Additionally there was some dialogue between two parties in the kitchen about questioning the lead male’s (hairstylist) orientation, and the f word was used a couple times. Didn’t like that part.

Really glad we’ve evolved on how we should identify people and what’s right to say and not to. A person can be gay or even not, but using derogatory terminology to hurt them is very low par. If you still do that. Stop.

Chopping Mall - 1986

Director: Jim Wynorski

Mall Location: Sherman Oaks Galleria

I loved this film. For reals.

Nothing better than a mall unleashing new technology security robots, only to go horribly wrong. Which I already knew where it was going as soon as it started 😂

Anyways a group of mall employee friends and two others throw a party in a bedding home store and get freaky - typical 80s horror, which I love. Then basically the robots go crazy and savage, hunting down all of them in a terminator/stranger things vibe kind of way. The aesthetic, 80s style, and scenery are very appealing, all the way down to even the playboy underwear from Miss Virgina Slims herself. Camel ciggs just won’t cut it. 😂

Lots of greats here, and I hope you check them out if you haven’t seen them.

Happy Filming 😘