#bifobia for ts

[thecaffeinebookwarrior]

idk if you would be the best to ask, but would it be offensive to characterize a lesbian character as very flirty? I know the whole “promiscuous bisexual” is a trope to steer clear of, but does it extend to lesbians as well? I’ve only recently realized my own bisexuality, and this is going to be my first attempt actually writing characters who are explicitly not-straight, so I apologize if this sounds silly and ignorant ;; (Also, lesbian love triangle-yay or nay?)

This is a broad statement, but if you’re queer, I don’t think you need to worry about stereotypical portrayals of queer characters.  I’ll explain what I mean.  

In straight media, stereotypes are harmful because they dehumanize us.  

Male homosexuality was once synonymous with pedophilia, violence, and deviancy.  Modern portrayals of gay men, though defanged, are often degrading, showing them as sassy fashion accessories for heterosexual women.

Bisexuals were, and are, depicted as promiscuous disease-spreaders, a stereotype dating back to the AIDS academic when bisexual men were blamed for spreading the disease to innocent straight girls.

Lesbians are either hypersexualized or completely undesirable, pillow-lipped succubi who exist for male enjoyment or androgynous brutes who couldn’t get a man to begin with.  

Trans women are depicted as perverted men in women’s clothing, like Buffalo Bill or Norman Bates.  

These stereotypes are cruel caricatures of real queer people.  But the thing is, “stereotypical” queer people exist and deserve to be represented.  

Feminine, flamboyant gay men, who survived persecution from their own loved ones and proudly broadcast themselves as a form of rebellion.  

Flirtatious lesbians who play with your hair and always smell nice (oh, God, yes), butch lesbians with crew cut hair and leather jackets and motorcycles (also YES.)

Promiscuous bisexuals who love the intimacy of sex and use it as a means of bonding, or who use it to cope with past trauma.  

Trans girls who try on their mother’s clothes, an innocent act that harms no one and should be as normalized as it is for cis girls.

All these people exist, and deserve to be depicted.  They just deserve to be depicted as complex, benevolent, and human.

Going back to promiscuous bisexuals, you mentioned in your ask that they should be avoided.  For straight authors, yes, I’d personally advise against it.  For queer authors, I would beg to differ.

In my most recently completed novel, for example, one of the main characters is a polyamorous, bisexual male stripper.  In most novels, a character like this would be a punchline, so I decided I wanted to present him with as much empathy, complexity, and humanity as possible.  

Not only was he probably the most popular character among my beta readers, but many of them told me how much they could relate to him – and I don’t think any of them were polyamorous strippers.  

So going back to your flirty lesbian, it doesn’t really matter if she’s flirtatious, but HOW that flirtation is depicted.  If it’s depicted as beguiling, sweet, and charming, hell yes.  It’s only when stereotypes rob a character of their humanity that they become dangerous.

As to love triangles, this is a tough one, because I personally can’t stand love triangles.  That said, I could definitely stomach a love triangle if the lesbian gets the girl in the end.  I would recommend against it if the girl in question ends up with a guy.

In closing, if you’re queer, you already know you’re human.  Even if you only recently realized you’re bi, you’ve unknowingly suffered from the aforementioned stereotypes and dehumanization your entire life.  This means that you’re best suited to depict your characters with the humanity they deserve.  

Here’s a link to my masterpost to get you started.

I hope this helps, and happy writing!  <3