#blah blah to delete later
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#i really want to start being kinder to myself like i intentionally try to but#its so hard when there is so much rage towards my actions and i've come to the point that i do not see myself getting better long term bc#each time one thing turns out good it doesnt lead to any visible improvement and im back to square one#but still im telling myself 'despite all that despite everything and anything you have to be more understanding towards yourself'#because fr if being hard on myself had any potential to work out it would have worked out by now#another month is passing me by and i cant catch the days#i have to try to be more present. lets start from here and i have to not look at ppl my age and their life pace. i just have to be#here and now and believe i am doing ok#literally i will have to keep this mr groff's note xfhxj that went like i am here i am good and am learning to be a better person#blah blah to delete later#or not#mine
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I've had Nell for a good long while now 😗
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Came across this post the other day and realized I relate to it a bit more than I initially thought....
doomed siblings... save me doomed siblings...
#HELP#THERES DEF MORE THESE ARE JUST THE FIRST ONES I THOUGHT OF#<3 <3 <3#blah blah blah#tmnt#asl brothers#havent thought about them in a minute but I still felt like I should add them hehe#batfam#I USED TO BE FUCKING OBSESSED WITH THEM#ragbros#house of hearth#lyney lynette and freminet#maybe delete later#a random thought I drew and then posted so u guys know im still alive#:D#k bye bye#Im leaving to get milk again-
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"but he's still a little boy to me!" "how do yall find him attractive he's still 7 years old to me" it's called he grew up, now it's time for you to do the same, bethany
#I'm feeling mean today oops#if you can't handle the fact that someone was a child once I got bad news for the guy you like stacy#might delete this later who knows#but I'm sick of yall#I can't enjoy seeing posts about my favorite duology without hearing some toddling bitch complain abt how he's all grown up#or his goat legs or how they didn't get enough jurdan in a book that's not about them or how they'll never be jurdan or BLAH BLAH BLAAH#oak greenbriar#oak tfota#the folk of the air#tfota#the stolen heir#the prisoners throne
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#I CANT WRITE HELPPPPPPPP#everything i do manage to get down on the page is telling not showing I’ve lost my FLOOOOOWWWWWW#arguhhasdlkhaf#blah blah#delete later
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Sometimes I think about how c!Tommy literally stole the axe of peace for no fucking reason despite c!Techno asking for it back in an honestly rather civil way right after Tommy literally turned his back on Techno to be murdered by an angry mob (a mob that Techno minutes before said he'd fight for Tommy's safety if needed) which is just like... a jackass thing to do... and then I think about that one c!Techno hating inniter who tried to justify that because 'Techno didn't deserve the ax' LMAO
#delete later#like this is not c!tommy negative bc I don't think tommy is a terrible person for doing that and nuance and blah blah blah#but more so illustrative of how some inniters want to justify EVERYTHING cTommy did and can't accept that he did bad things or jerk things#like you can't steal something because you decide somebody else doesn't deserve it that's so fucking funny#me walking into your house like “hello I don't think you deserve this wallet”
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Ranting below!!!
Men PISS ME OFF RAAAAAAAAGH
Nothing grinds my gears more than a man treating you like nothing because he doesn't wanna fuck you. The absolute gall some men have to think that because I'm queer I may be interested in them. Fuck right AWF like NO! Some men really got nothing better to do than be stupid fucking assholes. But if I were a woman they were attracted to they'd behave!? Fucked up!!!! Do better PLEASE. And I know this is nothing new or whatever but i've just about had it 😭😭😭. Straight men are truly just afraid to be treated the same way they treat women. Ooh they PISS ME OFF!!! I hate straight men throw em AWAY!!!!! FUCK
And and and, I was told not to post the ask but I got permission to highlight it. The homophobia here is so fucking bad. Like hello! If you are not interested in talking to the same sex/gender/whatever fucking rule/boundary you have say it up front! People on here for the most part mean well but assuming someone wants to get in your pants because of their orientation is bonkers. You are conceited and full of yourself and I hope you step on a lego.
It's fine to only want to speak to certain people about this kink/interest/whatever tickling is to you. It's *not* okay to be passive aggressive or borderline rude to people who are just trying to make friends on here, especially when they haven't purposely crossed your not very clear boundaries. It's obviously a diff story if they knew about it and disregarded it ofc, but just be mindful. Anyways
:)
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rl bestie texting me about a great idea she had and the great idea is. talking to chatgpt in order to improve her language skills bc she's too scared to talk to actual people. what if we all killed ourselves actually
#i actually feel physically sick lmaoooooo ✌️#personal blah#remind me to delete this later#i'm like girl the ethics. girl the energy and water waste. girl your own personal growth#and she's like oh i was actually planning to use it for help with my writing right now! :)#killing myself killing myself killing myself i can't TAKE this#im at work rn but i genuinely feel so so so bad i can't focus on shit now 😭
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the real trouble I have when writing Eleven/Rose stuff is that if it's gonna be believable to canon, he cannot just be randomly traveling with her. I did Lost and Rewritten. I already did that. and that's the closest thing I feel like getting to human AUs and domestic AUs etc. like oh it's fine with the Tenth Doctor, with him they can be doing anything, but with Eleven/Rose the circumstances have to be so specific. I don't want to write "Dimension Hopping Rose Runs Into Eleven" because that bores me personally. I don't want to write toughened lonely soldier Rose. I already did that. I want to write the Eleventh Doctor not with Clara and not necessarily dragging the Ponds along behind him, with Rose, but also not any kind of AU. which boxes me in QUITE A LOT-
#rant#elevenrose#11rose#timepetals#doverstar writes#eleventh doctor#rose tyler#I may delete this later because tumblr is not my space for puzzling out writing problems#I abuse and reuse Word for that#but I just. blah. I don't WANT to write fanfiction right now in life but when I DO I don't want this to stop me#when I want to write for fun I don't want this getting in the way but it DOES#OH. and if his marriage to River is real marriage - even on Gallifrey -#then I DO NOT WANT to write the Doctor committing ADULTERY EITHER? because he would NEVER? EVER. AND RIVER HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH#doverstar's thoughts#eleven#rose#bad wholf#doctor who#dw#doctorrose#doctor/rose#tenth doctor#tenrose#ten#writing#ff#ao3#archiveofourown#LAR#lost and rewritten
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sorry i keep seeing chappell roan’s situation compared to britney spears and amanda bynes…. pretty distasteful to compare someone struggling to cope with the invasiveness of newfound fame with two women who were. groomed and abused by all adults around them from the time they were literally barely old enough to go to school lolz. who by all accounts had fame thrust upon them when they were not of an age to make an informed decision about being a public figure. idk read the room on that one maybe
#disclaimer that i obviously sympathize with her#esp regarding the constant harassment i’m sure any out lesbian celebrity would get#but also i feel like so much of the discourse surrounding this has been sooooo weirdly infantilizing & parasocial#and oblivious lol#EYE am a true fan and know her so well so EYE would never treat her like this#blah blah blah but it all circles back around to parasociality in the end lol#delete later
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I love my friends (they are so strange)
(Also I am not British I just lived in London for a bit...)
#blah blah blah#maybe delete later#just a fun little warm up hehe#tw swearing#like a lot#and these aren't even the strangest things they've said#... im just as bad as them tbh#sleepy art
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#delete later#sorry havinga day#can you see me as a person and an equal please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🫶🫶🫶🫶👍👍👍👍👍#blah blah
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when i see "tasteful art of blah blah" communities it gives me a very specific feeling

#gated community feeling#or a feeling of “the right way to enjoy this”#or neutering#making something squeaky clean#“we dont want those kinds of ppl here” who do u mean.#the PERVERTS?#SHOW US SOME PERVERTS!!!!!!!#phuz drabbles#idk ill prob delete later or ill forget to who knows#its v much a no kink at pride feeling to me#when it was kinky ppl who got u pride in the first place blah blah
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i love my life lmao. waking up extra early today so i can finish updating a new chapter so i have something to read to my girlfriend on the drive home today. idk how i got this lucky 🥹🥹
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*slams hand on desk* the Cecil tag always leaves me feeling inadequate and incapable of being loved by Cecil
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Finally made a new doctors appointment after 4+ years of just giving up on finding out what’s wrong with me, hopefully this will go somewhat well XD
#I’m pretty damn sure I have hypothyroidism#I’m so fucking tired all the time and losing hair dry skin blah blah CANNOT LOSE WEIGHT#my brother is a professional athlete and he watches my fdiet and is so confused why I can’t get under 200#like I’m an active person active job barely eat still 210 like wtf#not writing#to delete later
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