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cattewife · 11 days ago

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AND THEY WERE MUTUALS

a h/ua/lian online au snzfic

ok so first off! the premise of this one is literally "what if h/ual/ian were mutuals on snzblr" so it may hit as too self-referential for some who may want to give this a miss, sorry!

it is however overall a much more self-contained au than the OTHER modern au i've been writing (in that it is a get-together and not a postcanon style established relationship) so if you're not in the fandom but interested in the premise you may have an ok time! (i guarantee nothing tho, i am VERY deep in this fandom and my book references are many haha)

shoutout to lycheeehehe for pitching a specific au to me ages ago that WASN'T this one but in discussing it like the heavens opened shining brightly and i started shaking as a bunch of disparate elements of au's i have wanted to write all melded themselves together into one (and i wrote 10k words in 4 days) and HERE WE ARE! and also for coming up with the screenname for hc which i have stolen wholesale :3c

fandom: m/xtx t/gcf rating: E word count: ~22,700 contains: identity porn, t4t h/ual/ian, online au, fet!x/ie l/ian, kink!h/ua c/heng, allergic! h/ua c/heng, seasonal/pollen allergies, hiding allergies, sneezing on livestream, wav-making, masturbation, inducing, sex while sneezing, sneezing during oral, general mess cw, youtube behavior cw

wuming-wavs was a fairly recent name, only a couple years if that. He has bad seasonal allergies and posts both just big fits and sometimes caught-sneeze compilations. Occasionally he will open requests. X/ie L/ian had found him irresistible. // ScrapCollector was different. ScrapCollector seemed determined to collect H/ua C/heng like one of his scraps, maybe. He just had a way of gentle praise and enthusiasm for everything he reblogged that reminded H/ua C/heng of. Well.

[ PLS DO NOT REBLOG TO NON SNZ/KINK BLOGS, TY! ] fic under the cut, or [ direct link to read on my blog ]

foreword: this is a story where they are trans but not ABOUT them being trans u get me. anyway this means i couldn't find a way to slip all of this possibly relevant info in. feel free to skip this if ur not interested. --hua cheng: he/him genderqueer, transitioned in late teens. (used to "pretend" to be a boy online.) top surgery/hormone therapy since then. more comfortable with being more femme the more he passed as masc. (uses dick/clit interchangeably and pussy/cunt for genitals) --xie lian: he/him masc, transitioned in early teens/tweens. not particularly dysphoric anymore but used to be when younger. has medical trauma and a horror of someone else changing his body that dissuades him from wanting any surgical intervention. lapsed hormones repeatedly while he was homeless in his 20s and only recently started on T again. (uses clit/hole for genitals)

---

It's raining out, which means more people want rides, but it's way more annoying, because they're all short and cheap, so he has to keep accepting new passengers and finding them. Xie Lian tries not to mind. It is what it is! At least he's keeping people dry and safe, especially as it gets late and a lot of them are coming out of bars.

His current passenger is waiting as he pulls up to the curb; a tall, slim person in a long coat with a bright red umbrella. They check the license plate, then politely open the back door and Xie Lian hurries to say,

"Oh, you can sit in the front if you'd prefer! There's more leg room." Xie Lian has winced at taller passengers in the back seat of Ruoye, his sedan-- their knees were practically at their chests. And seeing this person move, they're all leg.

They hesitate, then move up. When they swing their legs into the car, Xie Lian sees that they're wearing elaborately belted and chained platform boots that jingle as they get settled. Their long, deep-black hair is up in a high ponytail, bangs shading their face attractively tousled with the damp. Xie Lian admires this idly. He always fancies himself more like a drowned rat in this weather, himself!

Xie Lian repeats the address he was given on the ride, just in case. Sometimes people change their mind! Sometimes they add a stop.

"Yes," this passenger confirms, voice pleasantly deep with a little rasp, fiddling with the controls on the seat until it shifts to its fully pulled-back position. Xie Lian imagines someone trying to get those legs and those boots into his busted up old car (Ruoye 1), the tiny two-door he'd had since he was sweet sixteen (and crashed at least twice), and almost laughs. He'd only been able to run delivery gigs in that car, it was way too old and run-down for ride-share services to accept. Xie Lian was lucky to get this one that barely squeaked by the requirements.

The address is actually a fair ways away from here! Xie Lian pulls out from the curb carefully and tries to strike up conversation, but his passenger is reticent about the occasion that brought them out to the bars, acerbic about the topic of the rain, and unopinionated about the traffic. Xie Lian gives up and ticks up the radio volume a little to cover up the silence.

Until they pull out onto the freeway and the lights flood the cabin, and the passenger leans forward to inspect Xie Lian's photos tacked up to the back of the dashboard and the sun flaps.

"Did gege take these?" they ask.

"Oh! Yes, a long time ago!" Xie Lian says, relieved to have a topic to talk about. The traffic is slowing to a crawl in front of him, which would have been slightly awkward to wait through in silence! "An old hobby of mine. I like to keep them around to look at, though! Like a little gallery." A gallery of kinder memories, little moments to think about instead of the ones that hurt.

"Gege is very talented," they say. "I like the cat."

"Oh, yes! With the mismatched eyes? He was a stray in my neighborhood. I used to take pictures of him for a kid i knew on this site, where a bunch of young artists posted? And said look, it's just like you! Because he said kids were bullying him about having heterochromia. Super silly, looking back on it, very embarrassing! To compare someone to a cat! I hope he's all right," Xie Lian babbles. The passenger listens patiently, though, and when Xie Lian glances over, is staring at him, intent. Xie Lian startles and looks back at the road.

Conversation moves easily from there, though.

The passenger ("You can call me San Lang, gege.") (Xie Lian had thought his profile said "Hua," but the nickname is sweet!) is very charming, once he opens up, and knowledgeable on a wide variety of topics. They inch through the traffic jam bit by bit. At one point San Lang's breath catches in a distinctive way that draws Xie Lian's half-hopeful, half-apprehensive notice-- is he going to sneeze? But he goes on like nothing has happened; only later he presses a casual knuckle to the side of his nose. Xie Lian looks back to the rear lights in front of him fixedly.

They're passing the source of the slowdown, finally. Two cars are pulled off to the shoulder, sides crumpled, surrounded by emergency vehicles with lights flashing.

"Oh, they must have merged into each other," Xie Lian says woefully. "I hope everyone's okay."

"Gege has a good eye, I hadn't caught what happened," San Lang says.

"It's only that a similar thing happened to me-- when I was much younger!" Xie Lian interjects himself, "I'm a much safer driver now, ha ha, they don't let you do this without a good record-- I was. In a bad place, then."

"I'm sorry gege had to go through that," San Lang says. He sounds sincerely sympathetic, which is a rarity. Xie Lian warms with affection for his strange passenger, who apparently likes photography enough to open up doors that were shut so tight before.

Unfortunately even nice rides must end. Xie Lian drops off San Lang at a lovely apartment building (with a little courtyard and everything!) and wishes him good night.

"I wish-- hope gege will stay safe," San Lang says, with a strange falter like he was going to say something else. Xie Lian waits a while, watching San Lang trudge almost reluctantly towards the building under his umbrella, soles of his platform boots dragging.

(Later, he sees the tip San Lang gave him and falters, himself. San Lang! That's more than the price of the ride!)

===

Hua Cheng curses himself in his head all the way to his apartment. Stupid! Idiotic! Imbecile! That was Xie Lian! Flower-Crowned-Prince Xie Lian! The person who Hua Cheng had thought he'd never see or hear from again! And he's failed to figure out any way to ever see him again!

But it was-- too creepy, right, to ask your rideshare driver for any contact information. That was. Invasive. Alarming. Hua Cheng didn't want to alarm him. But oh, he wanted to see him again. He couldn't believe it. Xie Lian! He hadn't realized at first, in the dark, but he still recognized him from the self-portrait photos he used to post, very occasionally between the still life and the landscapes and the animals.

Hua Cheng barely resists the urge to throw his platform boots across the room. He has a lot of very delicate streaming equipment set up over there, after all. He leaves boots and damp coat in a petulant heap on the floor instead in a small sop to his feelings and throws himself on the couch for a while to sniffle and drown in regrets and self-admonition. After a while even this loses its charm and he has to get up to go wash his face. Ugh, it's so late and he's still slightly unpleasantly drunk, but with his bad skin he can't afford to skip even one night.

The next day Hua Cheng gets up, slightly hungover, but bolstered by the memory-- he saw gege yesterday! In real life! Even if he never does again, it was worth it to see him again just this once. To know that the man who saved him when he was just a stupid kid posting on deviantArt-- was still alive. Still remembered him, even, kept photos of that stupid cat that Hua Cheng loved to see (loved to see because gege loved it, so he could probably love a similarly deformed monster like Hong-er). A lump in his throat aches and aches. He has to blow his nose, desperately. He wishes it weren't just the once. Xie Lian in the flesh is so funny, so talkative-- Hua Cheng could just listen to him forever.

He gets up to go put on coffee and then do skincare and shave instead of crying. Takes his pills. It was raining yesterday so the pollen isn't too bad. (As soon as he thinks this, he has to sneeze suddenly. Fuuckk-- "eH'txCHIEw!! iXSCHHiuu! hah- ah! hAH'EETXSCHHiew!!" Oh, great, and he's still stuck sneezing high pitched and girlish today, apparently.) He drinks his coffee. Eats half a protein bar and calls that breakfast. Sneezes some more before the pills kick in.

There's nothing to eat in the apartment (thus the acquiescence to go drinking with Black Water yesterday, and the half-a-protein-bar today). Hua Cheng has to go shopping. No more ordering take out and ignoring that he has a body.

He drags himself back to the bathroom. Turns on the ring light. A simple face today, nothing glam. Concealer to color correct, sheer foundation to cover up the current dark spots and past healed acne scars, contour to sharpen his jaw and soften his cheekbones, smooth out his nose, define his brow. Powder to set. Brow mascara to tame his wild eyebrows, and then a touch of eyeshadow to enhance the lid shape, barely-there dark brown eyeliner, and just curl and mascara today, no false lashes. Contacts, dark grey today, to cover up the mismatch of ruddy, too-red amber and black eyes in right and left.

Hua Cheng sniffs and has to blow his nose again after doing his eyes. Ugh, even today he's like this. Right, he forgot-- just enough blush to make him look like a living person. Middle of the cheeks today, right under the pupils; a cute look, younger. He adds a brush under his chin and carefully to his nose-- at least if he rubs all the makeup off blowing it later, it won't be as noticeable if the look doesn't change, right? Right.

Hua Cheng is not an early riser by any means, but it's before lunchtime so the store isn't too crowded yet. He's glaring down at his list trying to decipher his own handwriting when someone turns the corner and fully collides with him. Hua Cheng staggers a step back and manages to catch himself before he goes into a display; the other person exclaims in dismay.

"I'm so sorry, clumsy me, I was checking my list and didn't notice--"

It's Xie Lian. Hua Cheng is staring, tongue tied, unable to believe the miracle that is occurring to him. He gave up his chance and he's getting another.

"Are you okay?" Xie Lian asks, leaning in over the basket on his arm.

"Gege?" Hua Cheng says, stupidly.

"Wha-- oh!" Xie Lian squints at his face. "...San Lang?" he checks. Hua Cheng nods. "I didn't even recognize you! Sorry, my memory for faces is not so great."

"No, I'm... It was dark, and I was wearing a different face. It's no surprise if gege didn't recognize me."

"A different--?"

"Makeup, gege."

"Oh! Ha ha ha, San Lang, it's so silly, for a moment I was thinking about body snatching? Or faces like in that movie with the surgery."

"Zydrate comes in a little glass vial," Hua Cheng quotes. Xie Lian twitters in excitement, so apparently Hua Cheng guessed his very loose reference correctly.

Oh. Hua Cheng loves him. He looked up to him so so much as a child, missed him when he was gone and deactivated, dedicated so much art to him in a nameless longing, and now, in real life-- he loves him.

"What is gege shopping for?" Hua Cheng asks to cover up this shining, vulnerable moment. Xie Lian tells him. They wander around the shop together, taking twice as long as they would individually.

"Let me take you out for lunch," Hua Cheng says as they head to checkout.

"Oh, that sounds lovely, but..." Xie Lian glances at the perishables and frozen groceries among his eclectic collection of produce. Oh. Right.

"Then you can come over, you can put your groceries in the fridge while I make us something?" Hua Cheng begs, a little desperate. God, fuck, he's being weird. Can he stop?

"Really? Would that be okay? I wouldn't want to impose," is what Xie Lian says, though.

"Not at all, gege already knows where I live anyway," Hua Cheng says. Very smoothly for someone currently experiencing what are probably the beginning symptoms of a stroke, he would like to add.

"San Lang! If I remember where that is it's only because I haven't taken any rides since!"

"I'm happy to show gege how to get there this time," Hua Cheng says.

Xie Lian has also walked, which means he must live so close that Hua Cheng's head spins. They head briskly back to Hua Cheng's apartment loaded with their groceries, and Hua Cheng lets them in and doesn't even have to clear a space for Xie Lian to put the cold things in the fridge because it was practically empty to begin with.

Hua Cheng puts rice on and starts washing vegetables. Xie Lian asks to help until Hua Cheng relents and puts him to work chopping and grating, then they have a moment to wait while the rice is still cooking.

"This is so nice," Xie Lian sighs. "It's been a long time since I shared a home-cooked meal with someone."

"I'd be happy to cook for gege whenever," Hua Cheng says, probing. "Since we apparently live so close."

"Oh, or San Lang can come over and I can return the favor!" Xie Lian exclaims. Hua Cheng swoons a little. Eating food made by Xie Lian's hands? Just having him help here had made him a little dizzy.

"San Lang, if it's all right to ask, I've been wondering what's all this?" Xie Lian asks, gesturing at the corner where Hua Cheng's rig is set up.

"I do art and gaming livestreams for a living," he says. "That's my computer and tablet."

"Wow, it's so fancy!" Xie Lian says. "You have so many screens, it looks like something out of a sci fi! I just have an old laptop. I wouldn't know how to keep track of all that."

"It's nice to be able to keep an eye on things while I'm streaming," Hua Cheng says. "And one of them is the tablet, you draw on the screen. Just a moment, gege, I'll be right back."

His nose is about to drip, Hua Cheng could feel it collecting cool and wet at the tip. If that happened in front of Xie Lian he would die. It was filling and threatening to run while they were chopping vegetables, and he had to try to sniffle it back as quietly as possible, not wanting to be gross or annoying. He ducks into the bathroom to blow his nose quickly. Then he has to do it again and wash his hands after he misjudged exactly how much would come out, fuck. Come the fuck on, allergies. This is not the time.

Luckily, today really is a good day, because Hua Cheng gets through the whole lunch with Xie Lian and only has to sneeze once (Well. He sneezes like four times in a row, he can never sneeze just once, but he stifles them all ruthlessly, and it only happens once). Xie Lian is a very polite, if distant, blesser. Hua Cheng tries not to read anything like dazed repression into that.

By the end of the afternoon when Xie Lian has to collect his groceries and go ("It's about to be the dinner shift for delivery!"), they've exchanged phone numbers. Hua Cheng is so giddy and relieved he just slumps against the door after it closes and breathes for a while so he doesn't scream.

Then he has to go draw. He's been drawing Xie Lian (or, the character based on Xie Lian) since he was a young teen, and it was drawn from Xie Lian then-- nineteen, maybe twenty. He's older now, more mature; his dark brown hair is cropped messily short, just long enough to pull back into a tiny ponytail at the top, and his jaw has softened some. His curves show through his worn out binder. His biceps are works of art when he flexes. There are crows feet at the corners of his eyes when he smiles. He's so, so, so beautiful.

===

San Lang.

Xie Lian turns the name, the face, the person, over in his head. He keeps getting distracted waiting for rides or deliveries, just sitting in his car and thinking about those wonderful hours he spent with San Lang. Tall (not quite so much as the platform shoes made it seem, but certainly taller than Xie Lian, half a head or more!), and a little lanky, with silver pierced all up his ears and long messy black hair. His face, strong nose and sharp chin and elegantly upturned phoenix eyes, too beautiful to be believed.

But more-- San Lang listened to Xie Lian chatter, about books, movies, passengers he'd had, experiences he'd had. San Lang contributed, asked questions. They had a conversation. No one has in such a long time-- not in real life, anyway. The closest there's been is...

Wu Ming.

Xie Lian should check on Wu Ming, he thinks. Make sure he's doing okay. (See if he's posted anything new.) He's guiltily repressing the memory of Hua Cheng sneezing (four!! Four times in a row! The cutest little fit in the world! Xie Lian had tried not to watch but he kept peeking despite himself).

It's the end of the next day by the time Xie Lian manages to drag out his ancient old laptop. There are neighbors to help with the children and the roof garden to tend and dinner to burn! And then there's dance class and more work and an awkward check in from his old friends Feng Xin and Mu Qing, where they ask him if he's doing okay but seem more awkward when he answers and Xie Lian thinks exasperatedly that they're sweet, but he doesn't know what they expect from him. For him to be the perfect premier danseur that he was setting up to be in college? No, now he has a real job (Yes, it is a real job, Mu Qing! It pays him real money, after all! Kind of. If people tip at all) and does dance for fun and to keep in shape.

The laptop takes nearly a full minute to boot, whirring loudly. Xie Lian affectionately refers to it as "taking off," like an airplane.

Xie Lian found the community on the blogging site by chance, reading someone's comment on the videos he'd found on YouTube. He likes that it feels more personal there, that people talk and post interesting things.

The thing. The thing they're all talking about is.

Okay, so you have to understand! Xie Lian was raised to be virtuous and kind and chaste. (It was expected in his family that daughters remain a virgin for marriage, although early revelations about his gender did complicate that a bit). He didn't know anything about sex! People didn't talk about it with his equipment-- it was always dicks, dicks, dicks. He didn't know that the thing that happened to him when he thought about certain things and ground against his hands in certain ways was orgasm. It was just that really nice-feeling thing he could do!

How was he supposed to know that was masturbation? After all, he was never thinking about sex when he did it.

He was thinking about sneezing.

And it took so long for him to realize! It's really embarrassing, okay? Only then he'd figured out that other people liked it, too, because if you searched certain terms online, you eventually got very specific videos.

Which leads back to the blogging.

Which was where he had met Wu Ming.

wuming-wavs was a fairly recent name, only a couple years if that. He has bad seasonal allergies and posts both just big fits and sometimes caught-sneeze compilations. Occasionally he will open requests. Xie Lian (under the username ScrapCollector) had found him irresistible. He reblogged every audio by Wu Ming as he'd listened to them, wondering and worrying in the comments if he was okay, oh, that one sounded rough, is he getting enough water? He had to be losing so much moisture blowing his nose that much.

Xie Lian never really expected anything of it. He just likes to comment nice things. Other creators have appreciated it before.

Wu Ming eats it up. Wu Ming answered all his comments and responded with more little recordings, made just for Xie Lian-- "pov i can't stop sneezing and u are taking care of me," that kind of thing. Only then they started actually talking and.

Xie Lian thinks he may be a little bit in love with him? Oh, but he feels so shallow like that, loving someone for responding to his every whim. Wu Ming is so good though, and so sweet, and he reacts to Xie Lian telling him so like he's never been praised in his life, but also.

Also he sneezes and sneezes and sneezes in a way that drives Xie Lian up a wall.

There is a new wav up, posted just hours ago. Xie Lian settles into bed, untangles the laptop cord and finds the jack to plug in his headphones, then presses play.

"Fuck," Wu Ming's voice hisses immediately, familiar and frustrated. "Two days ago it was raining, so then and yesterday it was okay, but today the pollen-- hhh-- the pollen is-- ihhs-- ah, ah! hii'tSXHH! hhISSH! HAESCHh!! is out to get me-eehhh-? tCHiew!! hAETchiew!! Ugh!! And you fuckers have me girly sneezing still since that fucking -- fuck-- ah hah ahh AHH?! HAAESCCHhiew!! Oh, wow-- HUH'ESSCHIEW! ESSCHUuh! That's better. Since that last fucking request. Oh, god-- eh-heh? eh-heh? ehh! haHh'esSSCHHHIewwh!! See, it's been like this all day. Ugh, I'm dyin'gd. If I was dead I wouldn't have to sneeze. *snrkk* Where did I put those..."

There's rustling, then the sound of a very damp noseblow.

Poor thing, Xie Lian types mindlessly. You sound so runny today! Both kinds of sneezes are cute.

Wu Ming's voice is normally fairly deep, albeit sometimes with a little higher whining rasp, but he gets so cute and high pitched when he gasps, when the sneezes have him really helpless. The request he is referring to where he made his sneezes extra cute and girly had definitely been good-- but there's something to it when he isn't trying to adjust anything, but just sneezing naturally, uncontrolled, that gets to Xie Lian the most.

The wav goes on like that for a while; five minutes and change, not a particularly long one, for Wu Ming. But he clearly just gets bored with recording and stops, as evidenced further by the caption mentioning that he is "still sneezing as i type."

Xie Lian reluctantly takes his hand away from where he'd been grinding the heel of his palm into his clit, breathing out hard at the cessation of pleasure. He needs both hands to type to Wu Ming.

Everything must be growing because of the rain! He adds to his comment. It's really beautiful out where I am. I'm sorry it's making you suffer, though, poor boy.

everything would be better if u were here, Wu Ming sends back. if gege let me lay in his lap and pet my hair during it wouldn't be so bad sneezing.

WU MING, AAHH, Xie Lian screams in his head, squirming. That's so--! How does Wu Ming always come up with fantasies Xie Lian would barely have dared to dream?

The faceless figure of Wu Ming (vaguely influenced by his smiling mask icon), laying out in the bed with Xie Lian... Head pillowed on Xie Lian's thigh, sneezes jerking his entire body into it, wet and a little tired by now... Xie Lian melts. He would pet Wu Ming's hair. For some reason he pictures it a little long, fluffy and silky, nice to sift his fingers through. He could wipe Wu Ming's runny nose with his sleeve, his shirt tail, his fingers-- Oh, that's so, maybe Wu Ming wouldn't like that. He could get him tissues, though, and maybe let him blow without having to do anything about it...

Xie Lian's clit throbs. His hole clenches. There's nothing for it, he's too horny to talk normally. He scrolls and pulls up one of Wu Ming's old wavs, the one from when he said he met a neighbor's cat in the hall who had gotten out and had to bring them back. It's an old favorite.

"haAH'EZSCHH- IDSXCHH!-ISCHH-IESSXCH!! ihh, iehH, EH-- ih'dgKCHhiew!! iEH'TCHIEW!! Oh my-- hHrRIZSSCH! god! IEASCHH-EXSSCH-EKXSSHH-EHH'IXSSCHhuhh!! Fuck, I am so- ahh! hHh'iGDSSCHHiew!! ahhh igd'TCHHh! allergiiihh-- kHh'CXHHhh!! aH! hh'IYEHSCHH!! allergic-- to cats-- eh, heh, eHh, hEH'EHH--"

And so on and so forth. It's a long one, too; Xie Lian always melts for this poor man trying to do the right thing and suffering for it. His cat allergy sneezes sound slightly different from the usual pollen; deeper and rougher, more thick and desperate instead of tickly and teasing. Xie Lian drops his hand to his clit again and then, after a moment, squirms his hand down his pants to slide over his hole. Oh, he's-- so wet, his fingers slip right in with a bright shock of sensation. Xie Lian bucks his hips into his hand and presses over his clit until the pleasure mounts and clenches down on his fingers over and over and over-- ahhhhh, fuck, it feels so good.

The familiar little swamp of embarrassment waits for him after, like it always does once he found out what he was doing was coming. Xie Lian extracts his wet fingers with a wince, and pauses Wu Ming (he didn't even make it to the end of this one, wow). He has to go to the bathroom to rinse off, but then he's clear-headed enough to actually talk to Wu Ming without getting totally distracted by invasive fantasies. It's okay if Wu Ming was the one to suggest them, right?

I would love to let you rest, sweet boy, Xie Lian writes. My lap would be yours if you wanted it!

And so on and so forth. Wu Ming responds in direct messages instead of reblogging again. Xie Lian spends a while just asking about his day, telling Wu Ming about what he's been up to-- oh, he met a new friend (He thinks. He hopes)! It feels like so long since he met San Lang but it was only yesterday, and the day before, technically! The rush of talking to someone in real life is so much the same and yet different from online like this, where he has to consider and worry over tone and word choice.

that's so exciting, gege, i'm glad! Wu Ming responds. Then, i actually just reconnected with the love of my life who i thought i would never see again.

Xie Lian stares at this message, shocked and somehow cold. O-oh. Wu Ming... likes someone? Loves them, even. Of course, of course he might have someone in real life.This is just a silly little blogging site where a bunch of people talk about their shared niche interests. Xie Lian-- is glad for him. Right?

He finds something appropriately congratulatory to say. Types it in with numb fingers.

i just wouldn't know how to tell him about the kink, though, Wu Ming writes. at least scrap-gege isn't disgusted by my allergies.

Ah. This, Xie Lian can respond to.

If he doesn't accept you for something you can't help he's not worth it, Xie Lian types. You deserve so much more.

Yes, Wu Ming deserves more. Probably more than an old guy with a strange fetish lusting after him online. Xie Lian makes an excuse-- it's late! And logs off.

---

Apart from his little, uhm, freakout moment, over Wu Ming, Xie Lian's life continues. San Lang texts him all the time, once Xie Lian assured him he didn't mind. They talk about everything, and nothing. Xie Lian does manage to invite him over for dinner, and San Lang somehow doesn't mind Xie Lian's cooking at all. He stops just short of licking the plate and makes puppy dog eyes at Xie Lian for more. His eyes seem darker that day, and it makes it even more effective. He's so ethereally beautiful it's kind of hard to look at him, honestly!

Once before and after dinner, San Lang stops talking for a long moment and presses his hand delicately under his nose, then stifles almost soundlessly into it. Xie Lian warms all over even though he tries to ignore it. It's just that San Lang sneezes once, then looks like he's going to go on, then abruptly sneezes three more times, then hovers in waiting anticipation for another. So it's very hard to just ignore.

After dinner San Lang excuses himself.

"I hate to eat and run, but I have a stream scheduled," he says, apologetic. "It would be better to cancel and just hang out with gege, though."

"No, San Lang, you can't do that!" Xie Lian laughs. "What are you streaming?"

"It's a fantasy mmorpg, we're doing a raid," San Lang says. Wow! Those sure were some words. Xie Lian is vaguely aware of what an "mmorpg" is (role-playing game is part of it? But he was never quite clear on the first set of letters).

"A raid?"

"Sorry, a big fight with a lot of people, against an advanced monster," San Lang explains, somehow not condescendingly at all. He's so nice! "...Gege can come if he'd like," he adds, a little hesitant. "I'll be posting the link on my socials."

"Oh! I'd love to!" Xie Lian says. He's never been to a stream before. He has no idea what it's like. He's seen clips (of certain occurrences) on YouTube, but that's all.

"The chat can get a little overwhelming, just to warn you. Sorry in advance," San Lang says. "My username is crimson-rain on twitter and instagram."

Xie Lian carefully writes this down on his fridge notepad (usually used for grocery lists).

He's excited! It's so nice that San Lang is willing to let Xie Lian into this part of his life, too. Even though they just met on a rideshare, they seem to click so well. It's especially nice since Xie Lian hasn't been able to be quite normal with Wu Ming since he found out about the love-of-his-life.

He has to make an account to find San Lang's. Xie Lian resists the urge to type in ScrapCollector and in a fit of nostalgia, goes back to his old username from the deviantArt days, "Flower-Crowned-Prince." Then he feels a little silly and deletes the "Prince" part, but then just Flower-Crowned is taken, so he sighs and adds it back on.

San Lang's display name is Hua Cheng. Like the Hua from his rideshare account. It's written next in simplified Chinese; 花城. A city of flowers. How pretty! Did he choose it himself? Xie Lian smiles to himself, thinking that San Lang-- Hua Cheng? is the kind of stubborn who puts his family name into the western first name field just to keep it in the right order.

Xie Lian busies himself cleaning up the kitchen a little more (San Lang-- Hua Cheng! had insisted on helping clean up after, but the clean dishes can be put away now, and the floor needs swept). He keeps going back to check for updates, though, until finally one refresh shows a new post-- a beautiful digital art graphic of a character that looks a lot like Hua Cheng, but with a patch over one eye and in fantastical xianxia-style hanfu, a maple-red round-collar robe and elaborate silver belt and jewelry. The words "NOW STREAMING" are stamped in the open space created by the character's pose. Wow, is that Hua Cheng's art? He's so talented!

Xie Lian settles in on the desk with his laptop, clicking on the link and watching an unfamiliar site interface load itself. It takes him a while to get the hang of it-- he accidentally clicks out of the stream, he has to make an account to use the chat, he can't figure out why it's so quiet until he finds out it's muted by default (why??). By the time Xie Lian is actually attending the stream, it's in full swing with fantastical bursts of light and little scurrying figures in dazzlingly over-rendered costumes.

There's a square in the bottom left where the real Hua Cheng is shown, from about the waist-up, still in the same clothes he was wearing at dinner. The only difference is now he has little black-and-silver-framed glasses on and headphones. The glasses emphasize the perfect wings of his eyeliner. Xie Lian experiences an odd rush of possessiveness-- he's seen that look in real life! Hua Cheng put it on for him! Only no, he probably had it on because he was streaming later. It's a work look.

Xie Lian has no actual idea what is happening. The chat-- he assumes that's the messages stacking up at the side-- goes so fast sometimes that Xie Lian doesn't get to read more than two messages in ten. There's so much going on onscreen that he doesn't know how Hua Cheng is keeping track of that and talking to what seems to be the other players and even replying to the chat sometimes.

Xie Lian just kind of zones out and takes it all in.

Maybe ten minutes in that changes abruptly.

Hua Cheng scrunches his nose, the little screen of him glaring back slightly off from the audience (likely at his screen). "uh-oh," someone says in the chat.

Xie Lian watches intently, not sure-- but two seconds later Hua Cheng's nose flares and his eyebrows pull together, mouth opening just a bit-- and then he leans off-camera and pitches aside a little in an unmistakable sneeze, although there's no sound.

IT BEGINS Bless you! bless you bles s u!!!!!!!

The chat fills up with these messages. Xie Lian feels his whole face combust. Is this!! Really happening?! In real life??!!!!

"Fuck, shut up, I'm not-- hh'eTSH--" The sneeze is cut off the mic halfway through and hidden in his shoulder, very briefly. Hua Cheng looks back up at the screen, squinting through a panting, open-mouthed buildup even as Xie Lian is pretty sure he's somehow still controlling his character. He sneezes mutely again, face snapped aside but mostly in view this time. Xie Lian pants through his nose and bites his lip, not able to take his eyes off the screen for a second.

Bless you! bets on if he dies this time gesundheit double bless!!

Apparently. This happens. A lot? Xie Lian cannot believe the nonchalant audacity happening in front of him. He watches Hua Cheng stare intently at the screen with a snarled glare that really just-- just looks like he's trying not to sneeze again? Is that assuming too much? Surely not.

But sure enough, a break in the fight seems to occur and as everything goes still on screen, Hua Cheng turns aside from the camera again and pitches over one, two, three, four, five-- leans back into view a little more and then snaps aside into a down -down -down triple.

The chat fills up with blessings in all different languages. Xie Lian feels a little faint. Hua Cheng resumes play with a little shake of his head to get his hair back into order around the headphones.

Belatedly, as though possessed, Xie Lian also types in, "Bless you! I hope you're okay!" because he can't help himself. It's habit, to respond to sneezing that way! Even if he didn't get to hear most of that, it was still-- wow. Xie Lian doesn't think he's ever seen a fit like that in real time.

He doesn't expect Hua Cheng to recognize him-- how would he know this username from any other-- but when his message pops up on the screen, embarrassingly separate from the rest of the blesses, Hua Cheng's eyes light up and he says, "Gege! You came!"

Xie Lian flusters even further, not sure how to respond to this. The chat fills up with

GEGE?!!! what's guhguh? It means older brother. it's 哥哥 WHOSE GEGE?

Oh dear.

"That's 'your highness,' to all of you," Hua Cheng snaps. The chat goes even more wild in a new manner. Dianxia used to be his jokey nickname on deviantArt. Where did Hua Cheng get that? Just from the Prince in the name?

"Waning Moon, make sure they're polite."

A new chat name with a fancy icon appears with a salute emoji.

we'll be so good Your Highness! who was it!

"Um, hello everyone," Xie Lian types in, more than a little intimidated.

Everyone turns out friendly, though, if very enthusiastic and far too numerous to keep track of. Xie Lian is too busy trying to respond to the chat to really watch Hua Cheng, which means he misses it until another "bless u!" appears on screen. Then there is another round of sneezing (mostly) offscreen, and the chat blessing and blessing.

"I keep telling you trash to knock it off, there's no point spamming the chat every time," Hua Cheng growls at the camera.

Oh god. Does this happen all the time? Xie Lian gulps and clenches his thighs around the hot, swollen feeling burgeoning there.

He may not survive many of San Lang's streams, then.

But what a way to go, huh?

===

Hua Cheng didn't set out to become a streamer.

He did it at first because it seemed like a good way to motivate himself to finish his comic. Only then people started showing up. Apparently Hua Cheng's shitty personality, earning him mostly enemies in real life, gave a certain kind of person a thrill to watch on stream. (Some of them have some kind of false impression of him as a "softie" because he doesn't tolerate bullying in the chat, but that's obviously preposterous.)

Then he just didn't want to work on art one day so he started playing games, and that brought even more people, and then he was monetizing it because why not, right? Designing the channel and the brand was fun, and it sold the by-then completed comic by popularity proxy. More eyes on the page meant more clicks to the checkout, after all.

By year two Hua Cheng had abandoned his drudge work job to babysit a bunch of neurotic ne'er-do-wells online for four days out of the week and sometimes twice a day on Sunday. Being on camera has only made him maybe more self conscious about his face, but then he'd made a v-tuber for when he didn't want to do his makeup and also for really bad allergy days when no one needed to be able to watch him sneeze that much in detail.

Especially because that was about when he found the compilation of sneezing clips from his streams-- the earlier ones, when he was just taking off, before he got really good at the press-to-talk game. It was horrifically embarrassing, at first-- Hua Cheng had gone ice-cold with furious humiliation and gotten the video taken down. But not before he'd noticed the kind of comments on the video.

"1:41 oh my god so cute! I want him >so do i Sooo many sneezes how does he do it? Bless you x43! Wow! 0:07, 0:08, 0:09, 0:11, 0:15, 0:20, 0:22, 0:29, 0:36, 0:37...."

Scattered among an otherwise predictable slew of comedy and mockery. It was like high school all over again, fuck.

After a couple of weeks the anger and embarrassment cooled and Hua Cheng, curious, searched "sneezing video," just to see if this happened to anyone else.

Among those, and "funny sneezing animal!" videos, he had found the... specialized content.

He'd browsed a little, listened a bit to people sneezing both more harshly and a lot smaller and softer than he did, read comments ranging from sweet and respectful to disgusting to genuinely baffling. Then Hua Cheng had gone to bed and just percolated.

Did this mean that there's a whole thing, a kink, a fetish even, specifically for people who sneeze a lot? Fuck, and Hua Cheng had been out here just doing it non-stop for no reason and no appreciation?

So the next time the pollen was really high and he found himself sneezing and not stopping, he pulled out his phone and just hit record.

Which is the story of how wuming-wavs was born.

He did a bit of research before he posted it. Knowledge was power after all. If there was anywhere to post that wasn't the cesspit that was YouTube. How to format the title, the description, what people liked.

What people like, it turns out, is him.

This is.

New.

And empowering.

Listening back to his own audio through the lens of people's comments and other posts he'd browsed through, Hua Cheng could see it. The buildup, the lack of control, the involuntary release, like orgasm. The helplessness and humiliation, like bondage. There were some of the scenarios he listened to for ideas that he found himself reacting to. The whole thing became just. Very interesting.

And Hua Cheng was a star here in a very different way from streaming. Playing up how soggy and miserable he was got him endless (horny) sympathy. It's not like it's hard, when ragweed season hits. All it takes is one slightly-too-long trip outside and Hua Cheng is runny-nosed and sneezing the rest of the day. He likes that posting about it makes him feel cute and a little tragic instead of just gross and run-down. But he was still disconnected from the whole thing, building an empire of kink based on the power of his allergies just like the one from his art skills.

ScrapCollector was different. ScrapCollector seemed determined to collect Hua Cheng like one of his scraps, maybe. He just had a way of gentle praise and enthusiasm for everything he reblogged that reminded Hua Cheng of. Well. Of Flower-Crowned-Prince, telling him that he loved his art (and here, I took this photo for you, even if no one else cares if you die, live for me). When he asked if Hua Cheng (well, Wu Ming) was okay, Hua Cheng just had to test if he really meant it or if he was just trying to get horny roleplay.

ScrapCollector (Scrap-gege, Hua Cheng starts calling him in a fit of nostalgia that still somehow feels a little bit like a betrayal) doesn't ever escalate things that way, though. The most he ever does is say that a particular wav was really hot! And then check on Wu Ming, make sure he had everything he needed, bless him in a way that... well it's not like the words are that much different? It just hits different from ScrapCollector. He likes to comment on certain sneezes, a level of attention to detail that Hua Cheng isn't used to having turned on himself.

After meeting Xie Lian again for real, though, it feels weird talking to ScrapCollector. Hua Cheng hadn't realized how much he really liked him until he'd compared the feelings to how he felt talking to Xie Lian and found them frightfully similar. He feels like he's running a double-life, one where he's known physically but in an idealized presentation, and one disconnected but openly vulnerable.

Normally Hua Cheng considers himself a very singlemindedly devoted person. It should be easy to abandon his online pursuits now that he's met Xie Lian and realized how strong his love for him is. But Hua Cheng must be weaker than he knew, because he just can't forget ScrapCollector. The thought of going back to just suffering allergies instead of showing them off for sympathy (and, ahem, baser reactions)... It grates.

For instance, streaming. Sneezing on stream had been awkward and embarrassing at first, although Hua Cheng had been determined even then never to show it. After the incident with the clips video, he had considered never speaking or actually appearing on stream ever again. If not stopping altogether!

Since developing his interests a little bit, though... It's kind of fun, to watch the lines of blesses roll in, and wonder if any of those viewers are also his wuming-wavs viewers.

During art streams like today's, Hua Cheng has more time to watch the chat, and way less pressure to stay focused through any allergic distractions. He gets a little thrill every time his nose starts to itch. Especially when it teases him and promises a sneeze, but takes so long to pick up the momentum to get there that he's still interacting through it, telling the Ghost City regulars that they need to fucking fix their lives (Have they heard of drinking water? They are all so useless?). He likes to think of how wild it would drive a hypothetical viewer with the kink to know how he's struggling toward a sneeze. Sometimes it's hard to resist getting a little dramatic about it.

But no, best to save that for the wavs. Hua Cheng resists the urge to wrinkle and rub his nose, or to hitch a little to try to encourage the tickle out. It should be easy; he's spent more of his life trying to hide these symptoms than show them off.

u haven't read cave of 10000 gods??? Flower-Crowned-Prince: No, what is it?

"Don't tell gege about that shit," Hua Cheng growls, knowing that the stream delay means it's going to be much too late.

it's crimson rain's comic thats how i found this channel! u haaaaave to read it it's so sweet!

"It's old as fuck and embarrassing," Hua Cheng snaps. Oh, but then the sneeze finally arrives, just when he needs to be moderating these assholes the most, ugh --

He lets go of the talk button and leans over to be out of frame as he hitches, "huh- eh-- EHH-- hIIEET'chhiew!! HEH'SCHHiew!! Fuck." He looks back up to check the chat and sees they're sending links now, fuck them, isn't Yin Yu good for anything. Then he has to duck right back out of frame because he's not done sneezing yet. Typical.

"hiiESSHHiew!! eH'tSSCHHiuh!! ah, huh, ahh-- h- h- h- nKt'gCHHhhuh!" God damn it.

bless u x5?? Salud! Flower-Crowned-Prince: Bless you, San Lang!

"Thanks, gege," Hua Cheng says, ignoring the rest of the blesses. It's embarrassing how sometimes it makes him a little hard when he's thinking too much about it. It's so much worse when it's from Xie Lian, though. He has to clench his thighs and resist the urge to hitch his hips up, warmth spreading up from his cunt. Down, boy. This isn't ScrapCollector.

After he closes down the stream, though, Hua Cheng can't resist opening up his direct message history with ScrapCollector, reading through his messages of concern and encouragement and appreciation with hungry eyes. He bites his lip and teases a finger down the seam of his jeans, groaning when his dick sparks fireworks through him at just that simple rough pressure. He fidgets the seam back and forth over the shaft and nearly sobs at how good that is.

He can't help but imagine Xie Lian saying some of the things ScrapCollector does.

"Sweet boy, I'm sorry you're not feeling well! I wish I was there to get you tissues."

"Wu Ming! Those were so fast, are you all right? I hope it calms down and you can catch your breath. Would rubbing your back help? It used to calm me down..."

"Oh, you got so desperate in the middle there... Poor itchy boy, I am sending my love and care!"

"When you built up and lost it in the end I felt so sorry for you, that must be so disappointing! It was kind of my favorite though. Sorry!"

Oh, fuck, now Hua Cheng wants to sneeze, so of course the allergies for once are not cooperating. He sorts through the collection of things on his desk to find the single clothing tag he knew was there, left over from a recording. Even inserting it gently makes him jump with the scratchy little tickle of it against the delicate septum walls, and then it takes just a little jostling further in before he's-- he's--

"aAEH'SSXCHhiew!! Mng!!" Induced sneezes are always a little harsher, jolting through him and scraping in the back of his throat. Another follows on the first one's back without even needing to tease more with the tag. "huh! ha-eh!! hUh'EZSSCHHHuhh!! Oh, fuck, ungh."

Hua Cheng opens his jeans and licks his fingers before sliding two to press on either side of his dick, stroking up to pinch around the head and shuddering. His pussy clenches pleasurably around nothing. His nose itches and tickles in lingering irritation from the tag but it won't, quite... Hua Cheng returns it to the sensitive inner membranes high up in his nose and immediately has to sneeze before he can even take it out.

"hAAH'EDTSSCHHIEWw!! hih-ih! hHHRRESSCHHiuhhh!! Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck." He reaches down to swipe through where he's finally gotten a little wet and picks up pace on his poor clit with the additional lubrication.

It really doesn't take much after that. A little stroking, a little rubbing, a couple more sneezes... Hua Cheng has always been sensitive, especially since starting testosterone. He throws his head back against the chair and arches hard, feeling his dick jump up in throbbing waves that echo the ones clenching through his cunt. Ohhhh, oh, ohhh fuck that's good. He settles back down, panting, and has to sneeze four more times, unexpected, rapid, and all over himself. Ugh.

Hua Cheng reaches for tissues and wipes up his hand, pulls his shirt down over the mist on his lower belly, then blows his nose luxuriously. The relief after the first blow when he really needs it is a feeling he only learned to appreciate lately-- ScrapCollector (of course) praised the sound in one of his wavs. He goes through two tissues before he can breathe enough to sniffle and then another sorting that out. He hides the plastic tag back where he got it and zips his pants carefully back up over his still-swollen clit.

God, Hua Cheng thinks with the sudden recall of post-nut clarity. He hopes Xie Lian doesn't actually read The Cave of 10000 Gods. Maybe he wouldn't recognize himself. It's all in xianxia fashion and the art is old and bad anyway.

The thought of Xie Lian realizing Hua Cheng used to be useless HongHong-er from deviantArt haunts him the rest of the day and the next morning. At least the crashing thunderstorm that night feels appropriate.

===

San Lang, do you have power? Xie Lian texts after the sun has lit up all the spaces in his apartment where electricity has failed. His laptop won't turn on without being plugged in, and his phone is at ten percent battery after the power must have gone out at the beginning of the night.

Wait, haha, how silly of me, you live right there.

no, gege, i do have power. it looks like the grid switches over at the grocery store yours must just still be wrecked. oh, it looks like someone ran into a line post, there was a big accident last night

Hua Cheng texts in quick succession. He's so good at multitasking!

I'm very sorry to ask, but could I come over? It's just that it's the tax deadline and my laptop doesn't hold a charge and my phone is about to die.

Xie Lian explains.

of course, gege! you are welcome to stay as long as you want!

'Careful, San Lang will never be rid of me,' Xie Lian types, and then deletes.

Thank you so much, you're a lifesaver!

he sends instead.

gege can come over whenever, i'll get ready

You don't have to prepare anything for me! I'm a leech, not a guest.

you could never be anything less than the most honored guest

Hua Cheng sends back.

So insincere.

i am always sincere for gege

Xie Lian muffles a little screech in his throat and pockets his phone to go collect his laptop and records folder. Hopefully by the time he gets to Hua Cheng's apartment he will have calmed down!

The sidewalks are wet and bedraggled with fallen twigs and battered leaves and catkins of the live oaks. Xie Lian wonders if that keeps the pollen down or stirs it up? Then he makes himself stop thinking about that because if he's thinking about it and Hua Cheng sneezes-- after getting all wound up over his streams-- Xie Lian will start reacting inappropriately. He's never been like this with a real person before! It's very inconvenient.

"Gege!" Hua Cheng greets him at the door. He's in a simple, sharp look, pale and matte with sweeping contours and red eyeliner dashing up from under the eyes, which are a soft warm brown similar to Xie Lian's own today. His hair is up in a messy high ponytail, and his outfit looks like something Xie Lian remembers the 'emo' high school kids wearing while he was in college. Red and black stripes and too many zippers.

"Hello, San Lang! Thank you for saving me. You look very cute today," Xie Lian says.

"A-ah? it's nothing, gege. And I just threw on whatever when I heard you were coming over."

"San Lang would be very cute in his pajamas, too," Xie Lian says.

"Not if I wasn't made up," Hua Cheng scoffs. "What if gege died of fright seeing my face?"

"San Lang! So dramatic. I wouldn't mind seeing you without makeup. It... would be kind of nice, actually."

"You don't like this face?" Hua Cheng pouts, mugging.

Xie Lian laughs at him as he sets his laptop down and searches for an outlet. "All of San Lang's faces are very good, very skilled! But to me, if we are friends, we're friends, you know? So poor or rich, pretty or ugly, or whatever, it doesn't matter. I'd just like to know the real you."

"...Oh," Hua Cheng says.

"Did I say too much?" Xie Lian asks.

"No, what gege said is very good. I wouldn't mind showing him someday."

"I'll look forward to it!" Xie Lian says, relieved. Then, "Ah," dismayed, as his laptop refuses to respond to the power button. He checks the connections and tries again.

"Gege?" Hua Cheng asks from the kitchen, while the sound and smell of percolating coffee starts up.

"This outlet isn't on a switch, is it?" Xie Lian checks.

"No, the one behind the TV is on the switch," Hua Cheng says. "Why?'

"My laptop may have gotten fried when the power went out... Oh, drat. I'll have to see if I can do it on my phone."

"Gege can use my computer," Hua Cheng says.

"Really?" Xie Lian asks. He gazes at the array of screens that surrounds Hua Cheng's desk and the ominously red-lit chrome box underneath that is the computer, slightly intimidated. "I'm sorry to intrude, it's my fault for forgetting about it until the deadline."

"I don't mind at all, gege. It's yours as long as you need it."

Hua Cheng is really much too good! Too helpful! Xie Lian is so grateful. He'll have to do something nice in return.

Hua Cheng tells him the password to wake up the computer, and offers him coffee, then tea when Xie Lian declines that, then asks if he's had breakfast (do cold pop tarts count?).

"I'll make us something," Hua Cheng declares. Xie Lian sighs fondly at this as clattering proceeds in the kitchen.

Then he sighs less fondly at the computer as he finds out he has misremembered his password to the tax filing account, has to go get his phone off the charger again to get into his email to reset it, and then loses the mouse cursor somewhere over the expanse of three screens when he sits back down. Three! How does Hua Cheng do this?

In recovering the cursor, Xie Lian accidentally clicks into another internet window. Oh, it's Hua Cheng's pinterest, he thinks at first. He's got it open to a moodboard called 'cave of 10000 gods.' Like his comic! Xie Lian read a little, when it was linked to him, before he had to go make dinner after the livestream and then briefly emergency babysit again and then going to bed and the storm. One of the characters kind of reminded Xie Lian of himself, younger. That was probably kind of self-centered to think, though, huh?

He scrolls down the board impulsively. Oh, that photo looks familiar. So does that one. Xie Lian squints at the house behind the tree, before his eye catches on the tip of one of the next row. He scrolls down with a sense of doing something forbidden--

It's him. It's Xie Lian. The self-timered shoot he'd done in... freshman, sophomore year? of college. In his ballet costume, dressed as a gallant prince of the marley, in an elaborate jacket and with white tights accentuating every muscle in his legs. Where did Hua Cheng find--? The source says deviantArt. The link goes nowhere; Xie Lian deactivated that account years ago. He would have had to have pinned this... almost as long ago as pinterest started!

Xie Lian scrolls back up and minimizes the window again hurriedly.

The character in The Cave of 10000 Gods is Xie Lian.

"Here, gege, I made-- are you okay?" Hua Cheng asks when Xie Lian jumps hard enough to rattle the keyboard tray with his knees.

"Fine! Ha ha ha! Everything's fine, San Lang! I just-- I just got a little bit lost, your mouse moves so fast!"

"Oh, here, I can turn the sensitivity down for you," Hua Cheng says, putting down a plate with a breakfast burrito of some kind that smells amazing.

"You didn't have to make me anything," Xie Lian says.

"I can't eat unless gege is," Hua Cheng returns. He waits until Xie Lian has tried his to take a bite of his own. The egg is full of aromatic scallions and spread with something spicy, garlicky, and a little sweet inside its fried tortilla wrapper, and there's thin crispy rice crackers in there; the combination tastes familiar and strange all at once.

"It's good," Xie Lian says, surprised by how hungry he is.

"I'm glad," Hua Cheng says, "If I were to name it like gege does, it would be 'Western Bastard Jian Bing.'"

Xie Lian snorts through a mouthful of egg and then coughs a little as chili sauce burns at the back of his throat. Hua Cheng whisks back to the kitchen and appears again with a cup of tea for Xie Lian.

In all the commotion, the unexpected photos of himself gets put aside until later, when Xie Lian goes home to find his electricity back on (He didn't even need to bother Hua Cheng! But then, his laptop still is fried, power or no power). He plugs his poor phone back in and looks up Hua Cheng's comic again.

Hua Cheng had protested that it was old and the art was bad, but it looks beautiful to Xie Lian. Not as polished as what's posted currently on Hua Cheng's socials, but with clear senses of detail and composition.

...And the character in white Daoist robes is now clearly identifiable as a baby-faced Xie Lian. He doesn't know how he convinced himself otherwise before. Coincidence? Stylization?

The main character, E'ming, starts off beaten, miserable and downtrodden in the way of fantasy protagonists everywhere, but the violence portrayed is a little too visceral, too specific, like it's not just being generically inspired. E'ming sets out to curse the world and is only dissuaded by the rescue of his prince and god, referred to only as the flower-crowned martial god, Taizi Dianxia.

Taizi Dianxia disappears and E'ming goes on a quest to find him, and in the process make himself worthy. Many of the side characters he encounters are nothing but caricatures, even the style they're drawn with completely different from the mains and each other in a very funny and engaging way.

Xie Lian can't finish it all in one night. He spends every moment in his shift that he doesn't actively have a ride or an order sitting in his car and reading more.

The passion of E'ming's eternal search moves him. But the ending....

Well, Xie Lian thinks, settling into bed that night. It's just too sad, that E'ming should find his prince, only to watch him from afar for eternity.

A wretched fate, indeed.

===

Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are building a comfortable tradition of swapping dinner cooking at each other's places. They live so close together, Hua Cheng would be haunting Xie Lian's all the time if they weren't both so busy. The intermittent meetings do mean that so far Hua Cheng has been able to put on a good face for Xie Lian. Do his makeup, stay inside before they meet, drive to Xie Lian's even though it's less than a mile away, keep the allergy disruption to a minimum.

He had to go out this morning, though, and it was just to the post office around the block, he didn't think it was worth driving. Walking is good for you and all, right? Wrong. In late April this is apparently enough to destroy him for the rest of the day.

Hua Cheng has already posted the recording from right after he got back inside (with his stupid fucking package that the post office was hoarding). Walking down the street, he could tell who had been parked there for a while because of the pale yellow limning every surface. Hua Cheng is looking forward to ScrapCollector's response to that wav.

Hua Cheng is not looking forward to having to cancel on Xie Lian, but he's a wreck. He washed all his makeup off while he was rinsing the pollen off, his eyes are too swollen and irritated for contacts, and he's so congested his voice sounds weird and blunt. Plus he absolutely cannot stop sneezing for the life of him, apparently.

sorry, gege, i don't think i can do dinner today.

Oh, no worries! Did something come up?

no, i'm just not fit for company

San Lang! Are you okay? Are you sick?

He's so sweet, augh.

it's nothing, gege. just allergies.

As though to spite his words, his breath catches and he barely avoids sneezing all over his phone. His upper arm is soaked when he's done, and he reaches for a tissue to wipe up with a groan.

That's like being sick if they're so bad you can't go out! I can come over instead? I'll still make dinner this time!

you don't have to it's not pretty, gege

I don't care about pretty, I care about San Lang! Let me take care of you.

Hua Cheng's breath catches in a very different way, an aching lump in his throat. That's. That sounds just like something ScrapCollector would say. No wonder Hua Cheng found himself liking them both, they really are too similar.

okay. if gege insists.

Only if San Lang doesn't mind. I don't want to intrude.

gege is never intruding. my place is his anytime he wants.

Gege insists, then!

Ah. He's too cute. Hua Cheng is dying.

"ehh- heH- eHH- haH'ETKSCHHHIew!!" Ugh, fuck! In more than one way. Hua Cheng would never pass up time with Xie Lian, but in a way, it would be nice if ScrapCollector was the one coming over instead. At least Hua Cheng knows he wouldn't mind the constant mess of sneezing.

===

Xie Lian can't believe his own audacity. To ask to come over and take care of Hua Cheng!! When he's already been agonizing over how titillated he was by the half-hidden, muted sneezes on stream! When he's not telling him it's a kink thing for him!

... When it kind of feels like a betrayal of Wu Ming, who Xie Lian has often wished (secretly) he could actually take care of in real life.

Still, none of these things are going to stop him, are they? No, Xie Lian, you always make a decision and then you're so stubborn-- but sometimes there isn't a second cup. It's okay. Hua Cheng is actually here (while Wu Ming isn't) and he needs help, and Xie Lian can provide it! He will just have to... be normal! He can be normal. He's managed to be fine every time Hua Cheng sneezed around him before!

Only the Hua Cheng who opens the door isn't the Hua Cheng who Xie Lian has gotten to know. His face is clean and bare, showing variances in skin tone and the prominent, gentle arch of his nose swollen and red all the way out to the sinuses. And his eyes are different-- at first Xie Lian thinks a blood vessel might have burst, they are lined in pink-- but no, the right iris is actually a vivid reddish amber color, contrasting with the dark almost-black of the left eye, extremely striking. Even inflamed with allergies and ringed with a smudge of eyeliner or mascara remnant.

"Oh, San Lang," Xie Lian says, reaching out and checking the urge to cup his face by grasping his shoulder instead.

"Hi, gege. Sorry, I know it's awful to look at without any makeup on."

"What? San Lang, there's nothing wrong with your face."

"... Gege thinks so?"

"Mmn, I like it, you actually look like a real person for once, instead of, I don't know, a beautiful doll or a painting. I was just thinking that your eyes are so pretty, they reminded me of someone I used to know-- remember I told you when we met, with the cat photos?"

"Oh," Hua Cheng says, swallowing. Xie Lian watches the bob of his adam's apple with fascination. "Yes, I remember, gege. Here, come in," he says, and steps back abruptly to let Xie Lian through the door.

Xie Lian sets the special ingredients he'd brought on the counter and watches Hua Cheng out of the corner of his eye-- he's rubbing a knuckle back and forth underneath his nose, urgent and furtive while he thinks he's unobserved. Something must be bothering him. Is it okay to ask what he's allergic to? That's normal, right? No, no, he couldn't possibly.

"hh-mpt'chuhh!!" Oh! Wow, he's sneezing already. "hh'NGkh! hH!iH'dSCHhuh! Fuck, sorry."

"Bless you," Xie Lian tries, tentatively. It's too dangerous to look at Hua Cheng like this, but he can imagine the look, a little, from the streams.

The streams don't show the little noises of Hua Cheng building up again, eh! heh, hEhh-- noises that are practically built to drive Xie Lian crazy. All right. Get it together, man.

He busies himself putting the tofu in the fridge, both of them familiar enough with each other's kitchen by now.

"hh'nKtt-- nxKHt-- hh, hih-- hH'mMGT'CHHhh!!! Fugck! snf snf sNFf! Fuck, sorry, I warned you I was a mess."

"I don't mind, San Lang. Bless. You shouldn't stifle like that, that last one sounded like it hurt," Xie Lian can't help but add.

--- (He is looking away, and so does not see the stunned, slightly confused look of wonder Hua Cheng gives him.) ---

"I'll make tea," Xie Lian decides, to cover up his slip. He can't talk to real life friends like he would to Wu Ming! "You can rest, just go back to whatever you were doing before I got here!"

"I was just-- snf! failing to draw-- snf snkk-- Ugh, sorry, I have to," Hua Cheng cuts off and goes over to his desk to pull several (several!) tissues from the box and blow his nose. Xie Lian watches the hunched lines of his shoulders raptly, entranced by just how wet that sounds. The electric kettle he is filling overflows and water runs over his hands. Xie Lian startles and pours some back out before he puts it on to boil.

"San Lang is pretty shy in real life, huh?" Xie Lian says. It's cute, he's so confident usually! "You never apologize like this on stream."

"I don't care what those sycophants think," Hua Cheng says dismissively. "And most of all this," he sniffles demonstratively, still wet and surprisingly thick for having just blown his nose. "Is muted there. Sorry, that was probably gross."

"It's fine, San Lang," Xie Lian says helplessly. What is he supposed to say? I don't mind? He really doesn't! I think it's cute? That would be weird, right?! Oh, this is much harder than he thought it would be!

"Gege says that now," Hua Cheng says like it's a warning. He scrunches his nose up and then his face drops into an almost agonized pre-sneeze moue, mouth a little open and eyebrows high and knitted. "ah~h-- hih! aH! cCHIEW! EH! TSSCHIUH!! Fuck, see, it never -- ahh-- never-- stdoaaHH! HUH'ESSHHIEWh!! Never stops, you'll get... you'll-- eh-! eh! eh! EHH-! hhEH'tCHHIew!! HA'ISSHhiew! It'll get annoying soon."

Oh. Oh, wow. That's-- that was. Something straight out of a wav, is this actually real life? Xie Lian's whole pelvis tingles, concentrated at his clit. Oh god, oh no.

"Bless you! It's not annoying," Xie Lian says, after a moment of recovery that feels too long. "It's only sad that San Lang is suffering."

"Gege is very benevolent," Hua Cheng deflects. "It feels so stupid, I just went out to the post office, but the fucking pollen was-- did gege see those cars outside?"

Xie Lian is literally going to combust. The cars covered in nearly an actual measurably thick coating of pollen?! Yes, he saw them!

"Fuck, this is so embarrassing-- sorry, I'm gonna-- ihh, hihh, IH-H! IIEXSSHHieew!! hA'ETSShiuu!! God. Fuck."

Ohh, he really can't stop, can he? "Bless you," Xie Lian says, trying to stay casual. This is seriously-- doesn't this feel almost familiar?

The kettle clicks off and Xie Lian searches for the nice jasmine green he knows Hua Cheng has in here to distract himself from Hua Cheng sneezing again-- and then again, building up in a desperate itchy rush and sneezing in a huge breathy spray that makes Xie Lian tense up all over.

Maybe jasmine will be too delicate though, will Hua Cheng be able to taste it if he's too congested? Well, can Hua Cheng ever taste tea with the way he sweetens it? Oh! He has candied ginger! That would be lovely, probably. Xie Lian sets the leaves to steep with the ginger so they'll pick up plenty of the flavor.

Xie Lian turns around and jumps when he finds that Hua Cheng has ghosted up behind him to peer over his shoulder.

"What is gege making?"

"J- jasmine green and ginger," Xie Lian stammers. He's so close! Ahh, he still smells like his conditioner and body wash, woody and a little floral; he must have showered recently. Dressed in a slouchy soft t-shirt and long silky red plaid pajama pants instead of fashionable clothes with sharp angles and chains, face bare and real (and flushed with allergic irritation), Hua Cheng looks. Touchable.

"Gege is so creative," Hua Cheng praises.

"And I brought lemongrass and tofu for dinner," Xie Lian babbles, flustered. "Lemongrass is good for colds and respiratory ailments, so!"

"Ah," Hua Cheng says, with an odd choked tone. Is he going to sneeze again? Right there? Xie Lian might die. "Gege is so thoughtful, too. You didn't have to trouble yourself for this one."

"San Lang is my friend," Xie Lian argues. "It's no trouble to take care of him. I don't often get to really... help people out like this, to maybe make a difference."

"You've always made a difference to me," Hua Cheng says softly. The past tense catches Xie Lian's attention.

"San Lang, what," he starts, ready to just ask about the comic, about Hong-er-- but it's cut off when Hua Cheng steps back abruptly and his hands fly up to cover his face before;

"hHh'EDTCHHhiuh!! ah, huh, ha'AH-- d'dtCCHHiew!! haH'EXSCHH! --ETSCHh! --EsSHHHhieww!!!" The fit bends him over a little more with each sneeze, until he's hunched halfway over towards the floor. He straightens right back up after, sniffling and-- is he blushing?

"San Lang, that was so cute," Xie Lian says, thoroughly distracted and too struck dumb to think better of it in time. Hua Cheng's face actually goes pink all over, the flush obvious on his pale, uncovered skin. Xie Lian heaves an internal sigh of relief that apparently that wasn't too weird. It's just. He's never seen someone sneeze like this in real life before. It's just like Wu Ming!

"I," Hua Cheng says, and stops. "Gege," he tries again. "Oh, for fuck's sake-- hh! huh! hHH'IZZSCHHhhiew!!" He jerks forward into the cover of tented hands again, then starts hitching in little in-and-out bursts. "ih-heh-- ih-heh-- hih! hiH!! hHh'ItCCHH-ITXCHH-ITSXCHhiew!! God, sorry, I can't-- HAHH! EH'tSSSXHHiuuh!! Oh, ugh, sorry, I need-- I need a tissue," he says, and hurries off with his hands still over his nose.

Xie Lian stands stock-still, frozen, clit pulsing a little. It's. It's really. Just like Wu Ming. But there's no way. Right. But doesn't that sound just like "sneezing endlessly and apologizing to you about it"? But that's too-- for him to be both Hong-er and Wu Ming, there's no way.

He keeps listening now, though, analyzing. The whole time he's making dinner and Hua Cheng is trying to help, but he keeps having to break away to sneeze or blow his nose again; isn't it like listening to a Wu Ming "bad allergy day" compilation? The same assortment of messy, desperate sneezes, the same half-vocal buildups; aren't their voices similar? Are they the same?

Except in real life, the breaks in between haven't been edited out, and they're full of little snuffly breaths and subvocal throat clears and false starts and nose rubbing-- god, the nose rubbing. Xie Lian feels faint. He's doing it so carefully, trying to be subtle, but it's clearly not doing anything against the allergic reaction having its way with him. Xie Lian isn't used to being this turned on in the presence of another person. It's making him jittery and anxious.

Dinner turns out distressingly normal, with how distracted Xie Lian is. He doesn't even have a chance to get creative. The tofu is a little burned and crumbly, and it's a little too spicy, but Hua Cheng doesn't complain even when it makes him sneeze and have to keep pressing a tissue to his nose the whole meal.

"Not gege's usual, but still very good," he says. Oh, Xie Lian likes him so much. How is he real. Is he really also Wu Ming? Shy, needy, teasing Wu Ming?

...Put that way, is that so far from how he's been acting today?

But if Wu Ming is Hua Cheng, and Hua Cheng has a whole comic story dedicated to Xie Lian-- then wouldn't that make Wu Ming's "love of his life"...?

Hua Cheng excuses himself to the bathroom after they finish, and Xie Lian makes himself useful tidying up the kitchen. His heart is beating so fast. His face is normally so thick but even so the idea of just asking-- "Hey, San Lang, are you perhaps familiar with a certain website? How about the username 'Wu Ming'?" is impossible. He'll have to find another way. === A confession: when Xie Lian spoke about remembering his younger self to him again, Hua Cheng nearly broke. He could feel the words on the tip of his tongue, caught in his throat (That was me, I remember you, I can't believe you remember me!). But he was so awful back then, a burden; he doesn't want that to taint his chances with Xie Lian.

In the bathroom after dinner Hua Cheng finishes urgently blowing his nose again and comes back out in time to stop Xie Lian from doing all the dishes.

("I'll do those later, gege, you cooked, after all.")

Xie Lian suggests a movie so Hua Cheng can rest, which is not usually his style but. Honestly, his head kind of hurts and his chest and throat are sore from sneezing all day, and the running nose and congestion hasn't gotten any less constant. He might as well save himself from having to clean sneeze off his tablet again.

"Here," Xie Lian says, once they've gotten settled on the couch and chosen something appropriately mindless (Hua Cheng knows he probably won't get through this without interrupting at least once). "San Lang can lay down if he wants, you look tired."

Hua Cheng is surprised when Xie Lian indicates his lap. He's not good enough to resist it, though.

Xie Lian's lap is exactly as comfortable as Hua Cheng had ever dared to imagine it would be, firm muscle under worn-soft denim and the warmth of him seeping into Hua Cheng's cheek (and neck, and shoulder, where they're curved around each other). One hand comes down to rest on Hua Cheng's shoulder, another point of heat-- is this really happening? Or did Hua Cheng sneeze himself unconscious earlier and all of this has been some kind of oxygen deprived fever dream?

The dastardly tickle in his nose proves that it is real life, because Hua Cheng wouldn't quite dare to dream of that being okay. That's the scenario he teased with ScrapCollector. He sniffles and pinches the tip of his nose with his free hand, willing it to go away.

It does not go away.

The pinpoint tickle morphs into a flickering itch running up one nostril and then spreading to both. Hua Cheng struggles to sit back up, and Xie Lian's hand presses him gently back down.

"You don't have to get up," he says with a strangely strangled diffidence.

"Gege, I have to-- I'm going to-- ahh, hah, ehH-!" Oh god, he can't hold it back anymore. "hh'iHdgSSHiiuuh!!" He curls to sneeze into his hand and his own chest instead of Xie Lian's thigh.

"Oh!" Xie Lian says. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"ihh-- hNGK'chhuu-- huhh. ih, iH, hIIH-- hh'nNNgd'chuhh!! Fuck, sorry, I'm," Hua Cheng starts to say, cut off by the buzzing in his nose getting the better of him again. "HH- nNgk, nGkh, nn'gk, ngdt, nGkt, nN'gGtt--!!dhuhh..." The stifles jerk him into himself and against Xie Lian's leg, pounding against his sinuses and making the itch more inescapable with each one.

This time Xie Lian relents and lets him up, handing over a tissue before Hua Cheng can scramble for one.

"San Lang, you don't have to stifle," Xie Lian says, tone partially admonishing but more worried.

Hua Cheng blows his nose briefly and has to sneeze-- "haAEEt'SSCHHhhiuuh!!" Oh, ugh, embarrassingly loudly and wetly into the wet tissue-- and then again-- again-- fuck, will he ever stop? Oh, fuck, his nose. "haHH'ESSHHiew-EXSCCHiew-EZSSCHiew!! Oh, ah, fuck, hahh," he pants after that dramatic triple finally feels like it finishes the unexpected fit.

"Here," Xie Lian says, offering him several more tissues at once this time. Hua Cheng takes them carefully without uncovering his nose. He can't look at Xie Lian. If he finds surprise, alarm, and disgust on that beloved face, he'll just have to go dig a hole into the earth and lie down forever.

"Oh, San Lang, I'm sorry," is what Xie Lian says, mournfully. "Didn't you say you wanted to lay on my lap while you were sneezy? You didn't have to hold back like that."

Hua Cheng freezes.

That's.

He never said that.

...To Xie Lian. He said that to ScrapCollector.

Slowly he raises his gaze from the sodden tissues to meet Xie Lian's eyes.

They are soft and crinkled with worry, but unerringly fixed on the tissues over Hua Cheng's nose, and surrounded by a bright pink blush that gets darker the longer Hua Cheng looks at him. Hua Cheng doesn't quite dare to say it.

"Didn't you? Wu Ming?" Xie Lian says.

"...Scrap-gege?" Hua Cheng asks. His voice sounds tiny, raspy with sneezing and still a little stuffy. There's a sense of looming unreality over him; can this really be happening?

"Oh, it is you! I was beginning to worry I had it wrong," Xie Lian laughs. The cloud lifts a little; that was too real. Too silly. Hua Cheng would never fabricate that himself.

... Xie Lian. Is ScrapCollector. They're the same person. Xie Lian, Flower-Crowned-Prince, the only person who ever cared, who saved him-- is also the same person Hua Cheng has been exchanging borderline erotic kink messages with for the past couple of years. He can only think: no wonder he liked ScrapCollector so much. And then: oh god. Xie Lian has listened to all his recordings.

"Oh my god," Hua Cheng says. "How did--"

Xie Lian goes even brighter red somehow. "San Lang... I've listened to a lot of your wavs."

It's Hua Cheng's turn to flush, for some reason. "You recognized my sneezing?" Why is that so mortifying?

"Mmn," Xie Lian hums, high pitched and no longer meeting Hua Cheng's eyes. "I-- uhm! Ha ha ha. It's just. Wu Ming is my favorite. Is that weird to say?"

If it is, Hua Cheng doesn't care. He's filled with a fierce and roaring satisfaction at that. He is Xie Lian's favorite!! He thought ScrapCollector favored him, but he said nice, caretaking things to other creators, too. But that shy admission means it was real.

"I didn't put it together until now-- San Lang kept stifling and holding back-- and he hides it so much on streams-- Oh, no, San Lang, I'm so sorry, I liked it so much on stream-- But then today, it sounded just like one of your compilations," Xie Lian babbles.

"Gege," Hua Cheng says, dreamy, tossing aside his tissues to lean in closer to Xie Lian. "Just how many times did you listen to my wavs?"

"UM! HA HA HA, SAN LANG--!" Xie Lian yelps. He really liked them, then.

"And to think, I was thinking that it would be nice if Scrap-gege could come over, since he wouldn't mind me being such a mess," Hua Cheng says, with an appropriately timed sniffle. He lets himself pinch and rub his nose, plagued by a buzzing itchiness that hasn't gone away since he sneezed last. Xie Lian darts his eyes back and forth from his own lap to Hua Cheng's thumb describing squelchy little circles pressing one nostril in.

"E- en," Xie Lian agrees. "I don't mind at all! I didn't-- oh, I hope I don't make San Lang uncomfortable! It's just that seeing you like this in real life is really--"

"Grosser and less dignified?" Hua Cheng supplies, wincing as the nose touching just rubs something in more and makes the irritation stronger.

"No! It's just-- it's just that it's even hotter in person!" Xie Lian bursts out. "I don't know..."

"Sorry-- eHh! iH'DtSSCHHieww!! ah! nGtt'cCHhiuuhh!" Ugh, it just won't go away!

"Sweet boy, I told you you don't have to stifle for me."

"Ah-! Ss-hh!! sorryyy'iiIYEH'SSCHHhhiew!! Sorry, gege," Hua Cheng says, grimacing into his wet hands after that one.

Xie Lian hands him another tissue. "You don't have to apologize, either. I..." he trails off as Hua Cheng starts hitching into another inexorable sneeze ("ih, iH, iHh, iH-hEH-!! ah! hIIETCHhhiuuuh!!"). "I like listening to you."

"ah! hah! huh-!" Of course. Of course, if Xie Lian is Scrap-gege, if he's listened to Hua Cheng's recordings so many times he recognized him by his sneezing-- of course he would like listening. The thought fills Hua Cheng with heat, makes him feel daring. "hih-hih-iH! hEH! HIIESSHHHUuhh!!" he sneezes at the tissue, letting himself hold it a little away from his mouth and curling over, giving in to it. Of course this is when it would get messy, forcing him to wipe up where his nose has dripped down his lip after.

But when Hua Cheng glances up to check, Xie Lian is still blushing and staring with a look that even Hua Cheng can't misinterpret as more disgusted than enamored.

"Ah, snf, mm, snNf! Gege, can I lay down again?"

"Of course! Here," Xie Lian says, offering him another tissue. Normally it's embarrassing going through so many in front of somebody, but Xie Lian's attentiveness makes him go all warm and shivery inside. He blows his nose in a hurry, still sniffing a little when he settles back in on Xie Lian's thigh-- tenser, now, a subtle hint of trembling under Hua Cheng's cheek.

"Can I-- Is it all right if I?" Xie Lian asks; when Hua Cheng glances up he's hovering his hand over Hua Cheng's head.

Hua Cheng barely stops himself from begging, yes, gege, please, and says, "Gege is welcome to do whatever he wants with this one," as smoothly as he can instead. He can just catch sight of Xie Lian biting his lip again, and then Xie Lian's hand is sifting through his hair, petting over his scalp, and Hua Cheng's brain short-circuits.

The movie is still playing in the background, totally ignored until now. Hua Cheng has no idea what's going on. He stares at the characters on screen without seeing them, letting dialogue wash over him. His nose keeps running and he tries to sniffle discreetly, not wanting to break the moment. Ugh, he's been getting slightly better throughout the afternoon, why now?

The first sneeze is inevitable, once again curled up to catch it in his hands. Xie Lian's hands pause and then go even more tender, somehow, fingertips rubbing into Hua Cheng's scalp softly. The attention and touch combined with the blooming tingle of more sneezes in his nose is intoxicating. Hua Cheng shifts his hips into the couch a little and has to forcibly still them, though he can't resist clenching around the growing arousal. Sneezes two and three come out as a drenching double, leaving him groaning over his wet hands and shirt. He can barely hear the catch in Xie Lian's breath before he's sneezing again. Xie Lian passes him a tissue and presses him down again until Hua Cheng gives up and blows his nose right there in Xie Lian's lap.

After that it's every couple of minutes, his stupid oversensitive nose tickling and tickling until Hua Cheng loses his mind and starts actually shaking his head into the itch a little, scrubbing his nose against Xie Lian's thigh and then sneezing helplessly into the worn denim of his jeans. Oh, fuck--

But Xie Lian's hands clench in his hair and his thigh tenses to iron under Hua Cheng's shoulders, and then when Hua Cheng can't help but sneeze again he does it openly, fully dampening Xie Lian's leg, and Xie Lian doesn't push him away or exclaim in disgust.

"Oh, San Lang," Xie Lian... moans? Was that a moan? Is this sexy? It felt good to Hua Cheng but he wasn't sure-- Xie Lian pushes his hips up a little and squirms his thighs back and forth under Hua Cheng, though. Liquid heat blooms out from Hua Cheng's dick at the thought that he might be affecting Xie Lian.

"I'm sorry," Xie Lian says immediately after, though. "Ahh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't, it's inappropriate of me--"

"Gege, it's okay," Hua Cheng tries to assure him, turning over to look up at Xie Lian hiding his face in his hands. "aHh-- hIIH'IXSSHHh!!" He instinctively turns his head aside and only succeeds in sneezing directly into Xie Lian's hip. "Ah, fuck, I'm --hh'EDTCHHh'uhh!! I wa-hh, ahh! wanted t-to-- hhEESSCHHhuh! God, fuck, can I no-uhh!! nh'tCCHHhiew! Can I fucking stop?" He sits up and holds off the tickle with his knuckles pressed hard under his nose to say, "I wanted to turn gege on."

"Ha-ah! Ah, ahh!" Xie Lian moans, muffled into his hands. "San Lang is-- certainly achieving that then!"

Hua Cheng has always been more turned on by the thought of people being turned on by his sneezes than the actual sneezing itself. It was a warm glow whenever his allergies started acting up. When it's Xie Lian being turned on by his sneezes, though, that glow is kindled into a blaze.

"hiih- ieh-- iiiH!! iEtCCHi'eHTCChi'iEtxSCCHIew!!" The rapid triple escapes his attempts to hold it back. "Fuck! I don't know why I'm- so-- ah-hh-H!! iIIESSCHHIEWwh!!"

"Oh, no," Xie Lian says in tones of dawning dread. Hua Cheng peeks up at him with eyes that are starting to sting and itch a little, making him squint. "San Lang! Could it-- I'm still wearing what I walked over in. The pollen-!"

"eh! haESCHHh! Oh," Hua Cheng says dumbly. That. Would definitely explain it. "Y--hah! iYSSXHhh! ah- aH- AH! --hhh, fuck!"

"I'm so sorry," Xie Lian says, crestfallen. "I wanted to do something nice for San Lang and I made it worse, how typical of me."

"Gege didn't --fugckhhIGt'CcHIew!! Gege did nothing wrong, it's not like you did it on purpose." Hua Cheng pauses, sure that he's going to sneeze again, but it just itches and burns and makes him screw up his face and hitch in great, open-mouthed pants for a while. The kind of thing that would have been really, awfully embarrassing before finding out that it drove certain people absolutely wild.

"Ah-hhh," he groans after the false start leaves him hanging. "And if you did, that would be kind of hot," he tests his luck by adding. It's what Wu Ming would say. (Well, not to just anyone. But for ScrapCollector-- for Xie Lian! it would be.)

Xie Lian makes the most adorable overwhelmed squeaking sound in existence. His thighs are visibly shivering. Oh, it really is driving him wild. Hua Cheng throbs harder at the thought.

"Gege, can I, please," Hua Cheng stammers over the intensity of his desire and sudden fear over his next thought. So much for being smooth! "Can I-- hA-EH!! iiETXSSCHhhiuuhh!!" He's cut off by the sudden return of the lost sneeze, barely caught on his upper arm. "Oh my god! Fuck, never mind-- etSCHHhuu!! hiIESSHHuhh!!"

"What? San Lang, what is it?" Xie Lian asks, leaning in and putting a comforting hand on his thigh.

"I just wanted-- ih-hih! ih-! eH!'SSHHIiew!! Ugh! But gege wouldn't want to kiss me when I'm like this," Hua Cheng mumbles.

Xie Lian's face goes all determined, and he shifts over to snug his legs right up next to Hua Cheng's, face swooping in close and placing a fleeting peck on the side of Hua Cheng's mouth. Hua Cheng sits there, stunned, for a full second while Xie Lian jerks back and blushes even hotter than before, until another sneeze comes upon him suddenly, "hah-EtSXHhhhiuh!" catching him all down his shoulder. Then Xie Lian looks so uncertain he has to fix that, so Hua Cheng gives in to the urge to kiss him for real, lips against Xie Lian's, warm and slightly swollen from all the lip biting he's been doing, while Hua Cheng becomes abruptly aware of the slick wetness around his own mouth from all the sneezing.

Xie Lian opens his mouth readily for Hua Cheng's tongue, albeit shy and uncertain in the face of Hua Cheng's passion.

Hua Cheng only gets a short while to experience the warm taste and silky texture of Xie Lian's mouth before he has to pull back to get air, nose much too stuffed to breathe through. He pants, sniffles uselessly, hesitating. ...Oh, no. Xie Lian doesn't know the other half of it-- he can't know just how obsessed Hua Cheng is about him, for how long, he'd surely be gone by now.

"What's wrong?" Xie Lian asks, "I'm sorry, was it bad? Do you need a tissue?"

"No! Yes, but-- gege should-- gege should know," Hua Cheng stumbles. Oh, this is hard, his voice is choked up like it's breaking again. He can't do this. "...Did gege read..."

"Oh! Is this about The Cave of 10,000 Gods?" Xie Lian asks. "I thought it was lovely! Hong-er, so talented. I'm so glad you're still here."

Hua Cheng had been pretty sure, but hearing confirmation still chokes him, throat aching and nose clogging up even more than the allergies already had it. Fuck, why is he such a mess. "I couldn't disappoint dianxia," he manages, thready and congested. "But then-- Gege knows I-- about him--" Oh no oh no oh no.

"It was a little obvious, yes," Xie Lian says gently. Hua Cheng feels sick. This is somehow worse than getting found out as Wu Ming.

"My San Lang," Xie Lian follows up, though, voice warm and fond, not at all like he's dubious of Hua Cheng's intentions. "Don't you know by now how I feel about that?"

What? No, Hua Cheng could never-- surely Xie Lian (ScrapCollector) likes him for his sneezing, but--

Xie Lian kisses him this time, tentative licks into Hua Cheng's slack mouth and petting over his tongue. Hua Cheng barely gets a moment to light up, to believe this is real. Then he has to break the kiss again with a barest moment to spare before he sneezes to the side, misting both of their shoulders.

"Fuck, sorry," he says, sniffling hard, at the same time as Xie Lian giggles,

"That was so cute!"

Wow. Xie Lian really likes this, huh? Hua Cheng supposes that if it were Xie Lian doing it, a desperate turn away to gasp and lose control-- it would be cute, actually. He feels giddy with relief.

Xie Lian reaches away and hands him a couple of tissues, before Hua Cheng can even think to ask for it.

"Do you know how long I've wanted to take care of my Wu Ming?" he says softly, watching Hua Cheng take them and raise them to his streaming nose. God, he's so perfect. It's so exactly like when Hua Cheng was imagining Xie Lian doing the things ScrapCollector talked about that he still almost can't believe it's real. That Xie Lian would accept his feelings on top of that makes Hua Cheng feel drunk.

"Still, I'm sorry, San Lang," Xie Lian says after he's done blowing his nose. "I should have remembered about the pollen."

"It's really okay, gege. It's way more fun to sneeze for you than to just be frustrated on my own." Although he really should go rinse his face, because the eye irritation is starting to make them well with tears, which is deeply annoying.

"Oh, sweetheart," Xie Lian breathes, reaching to wipe tears from the corner of his eyes with a gentle thumb. "I just feel so bad, you were already having such a hard time."

"Gege could make it up to me," Hua Cheng says, mischief surfacing. Xie Lian visibly perks up at the idea, so he's not overstepping. "I should get to make gege sneeze, too, since he made me."

"O-oh!" Xie Lian says. "I-- uhm, I've never tried before, I don't know what would...?"

"I have things," Hua Cheng promises.

Hua Cheng has a couple of options, acquired after he started making wavs (not that he needed them very often, but sometimes there was a request, and sometimes there was curiosity. He takes Xie Lian to see (after a quick detour to rinse his eyes). Spices from the kitchen, physical inducing tools, and the single open thing of chhinkni that he still hasn't gone through because uh, wow. That was a sometimes experience.

"What does gege want to try?" he asks.

"Shouldn't San Lang choose? Since I'm making it up to him," Xie Lian says. His gaze keeps flicking back to the chhinkni with furtive intrigue, though. Hua Cheng likes the idea of manual stimulation, the careful act of tickling sensitive parts until they can't help but react-- but seeing Xie Lian helpless to the effect of the sneezing powder has its appeal, too. He is rewarded by watching Xie Lian's face light up with anticipation and trepidation when Hua Cheng picks up the tiny bottle.

"You may want to sit down, gege."

"Oh, but-- my clothes-- your bed," Xie Lian stammers.

"Gege is welcome to take them off," Hua Cheng can't help but tease. "I can--" get you something else to wear; but Xie Lian comes over all determined again and starts pulling his shirt over his head. Oh. Hua Cheng is caught, entranced by Xie Lian's soft golden skin emerging from under the plain white t-shirt. The dingy, fraying binder does not detract from his beauty, though Hua Cheng has immediate fantasies of buying him a new one, more comfortable-- oh god he's taking it off.

"You don't have to," Hua Cheng tries.

"I don't mind," Xie Lian says, struggling it over his head and losing his tiny half-ponytail with it. Hua Cheng's mouth waters at the sight of his dark nipples, the pink lines pressed into his skin from the compression of the binder. Tender and vulnerable. Xie Lian's arm comes up over them, hiding his chest from sight despite his words.

"Ah," he says a moment later, and drops his arm. "Sorry, I'm nervous, I've never--"

"Me either, gege," Hua Cheng says gently. He swallows thickly, partly nerves and partly post-nasal drip.

"Really? But San Lang is so popular," Xie Lian says wonderingly.

Hua Cheng scoffs. "Online, sure. But I don't actually like very many people."

Xie Lian smiles at him. It feels like the sun coming out.

"I did notice that about San Lang."

"Gege, we still don't have to-- I can get you something--"

"What if... what if I wanted to? I don't want to pressure San Lang, though!"

"Gege," Hua Cheng says dazedly. The impact of Xie Lian saying "I want" to the implication of sex has him so excited it's hard to speak. "You couldn't possibly pressure me into something I wouldn't already want."

Xie Lian's arms come up around him and Hua Cheng folds down into his embrace. He's so much shorter than Hua Cheng. He never quite knew to imagine it that way, knowing him online. Fuck, Hua Cheng is still holding onto that stupid little chhinkni bottle.

"This is so ridiculous," he giggles into Xie Lian's hair, sniffling uncontrollably, oh god, right into his ear probably.

"Ah, San Lang, oh-- that happens to me a lot," Xie Lian says. "Ridiculous situations, that is. Sorry."

"I don't mind if gege doesn't."

Xie Lian hugs him tighter, the press of his breasts into Hua Cheng's ribs through only the thin barrier of Hua Cheng's shirt intoxicating. Hua Cheng wants him so bad. He wants to kiss him again, but he's going to suffocate if he doesn't blow his nose asap. Xie Lian must intuit this, because he lets him go and just turns to watch as Hua Cheng sets the little bottle on the bedside table and hurries to pull a couple tissues-- and then another, when those are thoroughly soaked.

"Ugh," he groans after, still sniffling but no longer drowning. "Sorry, that's probably less than charming."

"Mn-nn," Xie Lian denies. "I think it's cute, San Lang's nose is bothering him so much. Sorry, that feels mean."

Wow. He's really too perfect, isn't he? "No, it's nice. To know that gege isn't grossed out. I know some people don't like it."

"A-ah, well. It's not usually my favorite thing but... San Lang does it so nicely-- is that weird to say?"

Hua Cheng can't help it; he's laughing out loud. Is it weird? Maybe. But it's so quintessentially ScrapCollector. "Gege, gege, I like you so much. I'm so glad I found you again."

Xie Lian softens, and comes to sit on the side of Hua Cheng's bed. He's shucked his pants, tossing everything by the door, and Xie Lian sitting there on Hua Cheng's bed in only his underwear makes Hua Cheng want to devour him.

"Move up, gege, here," Hua Cheng says, directing him up by the pillows so Hua Cheng can climb onto the bed by him.

"San Lang, no fair," Xie Lian says, plucking at Hua Cheng's shirt. Oh, god, he's pouting. That's so cute. Hua Cheng wrestles out of the shirt in a completely undignified rush, tousling his stupid too-long hair all over. He watches Xie Lian's eyes trace over the surgery scars, the tattoos, his too-visible ribs and down to his hips. Does he like what he's seeing? Hua Cheng fidgets nervously until Xie Lian meets his eyes again and smiles.

"San Lang must know he's handsome," he says. Hua Cheng shakes with relief. He knows people like him when he's dressed up and made up. Just him, though, bare and rumpled and still sniffling as his nose starts to itch ominously again-- no.

"Is gege ready to try?" he changes the subject, grabbing the little bottle from the nightstand and unscrewing it. The menthol-like smell hits him immediately and his nose twinges. "You can take a little on your finger, or-- ah-- on the- back of your- oh, hh, fuck-- h- h- h- hh! iiEXXKSschhiew!!! Oh my god."

Xie Lian is watching him with huge, intent eyes, a smile spreading across his face. "San Lang is really sensitive, huh? I didn't expect it to smell that strong!"

"Yeah, I don't use it often-- it gets me... Well, gege probably remembers."

"Mm," Xie Lian squeaks.

"Here," Hua Cheng shakes out a little onto a fingertip, more than he would use for himself, feeling weirdly excited as he offers it to Xie Lian. Ah, it's still tickling his nose with the bottle open though-- "Gege, hurry, I'm going to--"

Xie Lian takes Hua Cheng's hand and brings it to his face instead of taking the powder, miraculously not spilling any of it, and sniffs hard a couple of times, a barely-there cool sensation. Xie Lian leans back, but holds on to his hand so Hua Cheng is forced to sneeze uncovered to the side, "haH-ESSXHHh!!" jolting him over and then hurrying to put the open bottle aside as his nose decides it's not done. "hh! hh! hUHH-EXSSHHhiew!! hah'eSSCHhiew- hAh'ESSXCHiew!!"

"Ah, San Lang," Xie Lian says, "Bless you! Oh, it tickles so much-- kind of burns? But I don't know if it's going to-- AH! HAH'ESSCHHOoh!!! Oh, wow!"

Hua Cheng doesn't think he's ever heard Xie Lian sneeze-- it's a little harsh, maybe louder than Hua Cheng usually is. It snaps his head aside suddenly to sneeze all down his shoulder and front, just barely misting Hua Cheng's captive hand too. He doesn't mind, if it's Xie Lian. He feels like he just got it.

"Oh, wow," Xie Lian says again, "That's-- ah, hah-AH! HA'EXkSSCHHuUu!! ah, ah--! uH! heH'EHXSSCHHHUu!!" He flashes a hand in front of his mouth for these ones, but he's still squeezing Hua Cheng's in the other. Hua Cheng watches the almost pained expressions crumpling Xie Lian's face with a hunger that surprises himself, dick pulsing faintly.

"Bless you, gege," he purrs, as Xie Lian blinks rapidly and shakes his head against what must be an entirely unfamiliar itch.

"Auhh, I've never aHh! hAH'ESSCHHOoo! sn- sneezed like this-- oh! ah, nnn, oh, wow, it just... AH! HAaHHH'EXSSCHhuu!! "

Never? Hua Cheng doesn't know whether to be amazed or envious. But he gets to see the first time Xie Lian experiences this.

"Ohh, nnn, it still? Itches? But it doesn't feel like..." Xie Lian sniffs a couple times, then rubs the side of his nose with his thumb, wrinkling it. Adorable. Oh, this is making Hua Cheng feel better, actually. It really is cuter than he'd imagined it could be, when it's someone special. He shuffles closer until he's practically in Xie Lian's lap, and Xie Lian moves his legs apart to welcome him in.

"Ahh, I think I might need more, it- ugh, it doesn't feel like I'm going to sneeze again. snf! Oooh, that's-- feels weird in your throat."

"More? Gege is so powerful," Hua Cheng says. "If I took that much I would still be sneezing non-stop."

Xie Lian gets a funny little dazed look on his face at that-- his thighs flex around Hua Cheng's and he realizes that's arousal. Xie Lian is getting turned on to just the thought of Hua Cheng being lost to a sneezing fit. Oh, how is he so perfect?

"Do I really get to have this?" Hua Cheng murmurs to himself, wondering.

"snbf, mm, sdf! San Lang, that's my line," Xie Lian says. Hua Cheng kisses him, wet and messy and short, because neither of them can breathe, now. He laughs to himself when he pulls back and Xie Lian is left panting, too.

"Here." It's his turn to grab them tissues from the side table. There's something weirdly intimate and domestic about blowing their noses together at the same time. Like it's a relationship step that should be much further along the line, but it's been shortcutted in by kink. Even with the chhinkni irritation, Xie Lian is done before Hua Cheng is.

"Wow," he says, "I can still smell it, haha, I didn't expect that. Was that okay?"

"Mmn, snf, gege, it was great. You're so cute. Ahhh, I'm really--" Hua Cheng cuts himself off before he says too much-- horny, turned on, hard; they're all true. His hips betray it for him at the thought, rolling up as though to press his dick into something, anything.

"Ah, San Lang, do you want to--?" Xie Lian asks, flushing back to bright pink. He sets his hands on Hua Cheng's thighs and strokes up and down, seeming too shy to go further. Well. If he wants to go further...

"Mmn, gege," Hua Cheng says, and takes Xie Lian's wrist to guide his hand to cover Hua Cheng's dick through his pants. He jerks into it, not expecting just how good that would feel. Xie Lian's fingers stiffen, then curl curiously up the underside of him, pressing into the give of the folds below. "Oh, fuck," Hua Cheng coughs out.

"San Lang is sensitive here, too," Xie Lian says, sounding mesmerized.

"Gege, can I?" Hua Cheng reaches for Xie Lian's underwear and hooks a finger in the waistband, illustrating.

"Only if San Lang does too," Xie Lian says, taking his hand away with a loss of warmth that Hua Cheng feels in his soul. He scrambles out of his depression-day pants and watches as Xie Lian rolls over and pulls his undies down his lifted legs, then kicks them off his feet, flailing a little. Hua Cheng is impossibly charmed.

He's also going to start goddamn sneezing again soon, fuck-- he can feel it, one nostril filling up with itch, then fading, then switching sides. The allergies never really stop plaguing him on a day like today, and the re-exposure probably didn't help.

Xie Lian is staring at him, pink tongue slipping out to wet his lip and then biting it.

"Ahh, gege, I'm going to-- I have to sneeze again," Hua Cheng warns, channeling everything he's learned from wav requests. It's different, being observed and not hiding it. Xie Lian's eyes go even darker and he spreads his legs just a little, like it was unconscious.

Hua Cheng has never felt so powerful.

"Can you-- I really liked it, before, when San Lang-- s-sneezed on my lap," Xie Lian says, nervous and stuttering, like he's unused to saying it out loud.

"Gege wants me to sneeze on him?" Hua Cheng teases, rubbing his nose back and forth and wincing when it's more tender than he expected.

"San Lang," Xie Lian whines. "Don't tease."

Hua Cheng relents, partially because how could he do anything other than climb into Xie Lian's lap and regard all of him laid out: the modest rise of his breasts spilling to the side with soft, dusky nipples begging to be sucked and bitten, stomach lifting as he breathes, and the dark, damp curls of hair between his legs slicked together and spreading to reveal the swollen, ruddy rise of his cock barely peeking out of its hood and the dark, crinkle-petaled lips below. Hua Cheng doesn't know where to start.

His hands decide for him, bracing himself on Xie Lian's thighs and sliding up-- Xie Lian's hips rise into the touch and fall with a soft "haah," of disappointment when Hua Cheng passes the core of him and keeps going. He traces the still-fading lines from the binder up to the soft undersides of his breasts-- means to ask, "Is this okay?" but the irritation in his nose finally flares up to life and he only gets out, "Is-- a-ah!!hA-ETCCHhhiew!!" the sneeze cutting him off abruptly and instinctively turned aside into his arm. "ehh! hh- h-! hH'ITCHHHhiuu!!"

Xie Lian's strong arms come up and grab Hua Cheng under the arms then, like lifting a kitten, and pull him down over Xie Lian like a blanket. Hua Cheng squirms a little in surprise, nose itching frantically as the next sneeze is lost.

"huh-uh-uhh- UHH-! eh-hh, eh-hh, eH-HHh? eh-hh," he hitches in fast in-and-outs, making Xie Lian shudder and shiver and grind up against Hua Cheng's thigh that has landed between his legs. He arches up hard and keens when the sneezes finally come and Hua Cheng lets them go into his shoulder. "EH? HH! EEIITSsSCCHHIEW!! eeITSSCHiew! hAH-EHTCHshiuew!!"

"Ah! Oh! Oh, please, please, San Lang, I can't," Xie Lian babbles. He's grinding his core up against Hua Cheng's hip in little frantic circles and Hua Cheng can feel the wet squish of him, the hot press of the little firmness at the apex-- his own dick pulses frantically and he wonders if he's going to come just from this.

"Gege, what can I--? What do you need?"

"In me," Xie Lian gasps. "In me, in me, your fingers, or-- San Lang is big enough, right? You could be in me?"

Nevermind! Now Hua Cheng is so worked up he doesn't even realize the breaths he's gasping for are going to be another sneeze until it's rushing out of him.

"huH'ESScHhiew!! Ahhh, fuck, gege, maybe? Give me twenty minutes with a pump-- eh-heh-eh-- huh!ngxsht!! Fuck, can I-- oh. Gege would prefer if I didn't stop, huh?"

"Mm, San Lang," Xie Lian confirms, clutching him closer. "Don't stop. Feeling you do it for real is so--"

"uh-hH! nNxTschhhiuu!!" Hua Cheng can't help the sneeze that interrupts him, aware now of how it rocks him against Xie Lian. Oh, that must be good for him--

"Yeah," Xie Lian moans.

Hua Cheng sits up and lifts Xie Lian's leg, exulting in the softness of the skin and heaviness of the muscle under his hands, and presses it up towards Xie Lian's shoulders, surprised and impressed when he takes the stretch easily, without seeming to notice. Of course, Xie Lian was a dancer, so.

"Mmm, gege is so-- huh-uh! uH-- hHii'ISSHHhiew!! Fuck, that was--" All over Xie Lian's leg and stomach and chest, and Xie Lian is crying out sharply and arching up into Hua Cheng's hands for it. Right. "...Gege is so beautiful," Hua Cheng finishes instead of the instinctual apology. The next sneeze comes on too fast to contain and he bends over to direct it shamelessly over Xie Lian's ribs. "hih! hiiAESSCHHHiuu!!"

"San Lang San Lang San Lang ohhh bless you sweet boy please, please please," Xie Lian says in a heated rush.

Hua Cheng sobs with arousal and artlessly crushes himself against Xie Lian, slipping against the jut of his little hardness in a blinding shock of pleasure. Both of them tilt their hips toward each other until Hua Cheng's dick slides down in between Xie Lian's folds (oh god oh god he's so wet, and hot around Hua Cheng and against him,) and then he pushes a little further and rocks up and he can just barely feel Xie Lian clenching against him, trying to draw him further in. It's so good, Hua Cheng is hypersensitive and overwhelmed with all the sneezing and the reality of Xie Lian is ScrapCollector and knows he's in love with him, he doesn't have to choose or change--

"Gege, gege, I'm-- I'm--"

"Mmmn!" Xie Lian noises in answer, thrusting up hard against him in a way that pushes Hua Cheng deeper inside him, where he can really feel the slick opening clench down around him-- he can't, he can't, he can't, he's moaning embarrassingly loud and coming in a hard clenching rush, jerking and trembling and eventually falling and catching himself over Xie Lian's torso, bending him back into (that's a mating press, that's what that position is).

"Ohhh, I can feel you, ahhhh, you're coming so much," Xie Lian breathes, half a whine. Hua Cheng whimpers back in return, scrambling to find the pieces of his mind in the wake of overwhelming pleasure.

"Mmnh, would gege-- would gege like it if I could fill him up?" There are toys for that. Hua Cheng has never had a particular interest in them for himself, but he could acquire them.

"San Lang!" Xie Lian says, and blushes again. He's just going pink over and over tonight. It's so cute. The insistent, needy squirming against Hua Cheng is also cute, but in a maddening way. Hua Cheng tries to grind back into him and flinches, oversensitive. Once again the twinging from his nose catches him off guard and he can only be so thankful that Xie Lian enjoys this, asked for it, before he's sneezing helplessly into the softness of Xie Lian's chest.

"ah! 'tSSCCHhiiuuhhh!! hh- h- hih- uH-- it'SCCHHIEW! IISSCHhiew!! Ugh, fuck, that came out of nowhere--"

"mmMMN!!" Xie Lian groans, arching and twisting his hips to rub back into the soft, squishing warmth of Hua Cheng's pussy. Hua Cheng has a brief fantasy of Xie Lian pushing in there that makes him throb and clench. Ohh, he's going to have to get Xie Lian in a strap.

"Ah, hah, please," Xie Lian chants again. His hands clench and pull in the bedsheets. Hua Cheng straightens back up to shove a hand between their sexes, middle finger sliding down and into Xie Lian so easily, god he gets wet-- that went in so smoothly he adds another. Hua Cheng can feel Xie Lian straining into his hand, clenching hard around his fingers.

"Gege," he begs, "how-- eh-hH! eH-- eh, hehH, hiH? ahH--! aH! ha-EH!!" Oh, nevermind that question, the answer is obvious in Xie Lian trembling and twitching up into him with every hitch. "hAHh'eSSZCCHHhhiUhh!!" Fuck, auhgh, he just sprayed that all down between them, he could feel the cool mist hitting his own stomach and wrist. Xie Lian cries out sharply and throws his head back, clenching around Hua Cheng's fingers in a huge cresting throb. He's still trembling and clenching down in pulses as Hua Cheng fights through another hitching ticklish buildup and wrenches another huge sneeze off to the side this time.

"Nnh, bless you, San Lang," Xie Lian says, sweetly dazed and lax. Hua Cheng shudders a little and grinds against his knuckles, surprised at how intensely he felt that blessing hit.

"Was that good, gege?" Hua Cheng asks, sniffling, stroking a little with his fingers to feel the slick give of Xie Lian inside.

"So good," Xie Lian coos. "Ahh, I want-- I wish I could go again."

"Do you want me to stop?" Hua Cheng asks, stilling his hand.

"No, it feels good, you can keep going! I just usually can't, umm... come, again."

Well. Hua Cheng considers that a challenge.

"Gege hasn't had me before," he says. "I can suck your pretty little cock, or I have toys we can try."

"Oh! Ha ha, ah, I usually just call it my clit," Xie Lian says.

"Sorry, does gege prefer that?"

"If San Lang wants to call it my cock while he sucks it he certainly can!" Then Xie Lian smacks a hand over his eyes and groans. "I can't believe-- I keep saying these things out loud!"

"Keep saying it, gege, it's so hot, you have no idea," Hua Cheng pants, sliding his dick up against his knuckles again as his fingers shove hard into Xie Lian. It takes a monumental effort of will to separate them so he can get himself properly down between Xie Lian's legs.

Xie Lian moans and yelps when Hua Cheng kisses his clit, breathes a whimper when Hua Cheng noses down to taste where his fingers are spreading Xie Lian open. He's so warm down here, and wet, his clit standing hard and swollen from the recent orgasm. He tastes so good, creamy and a little salty-tangy, that Hua Cheng half thinks he's ascended.

Hua Cheng slides his tongue up the folds until he reaches the hard nub of his clit, nudging back the hood to fully expose him. Ooohhh, fuck. He repeats the motion again, again, enchanted by the sensation of that in his mouth. He huffs a panting breath through his mouth, nose utterly blocked, and closes his lips around it and sucks, tongue pressed flat.

He runs out of breath disappointingly fast.

"Ahh-ah, San LANG!!" Xie Lian cries as Hua Cheng gasps for air and sniffles hard against his clit, belatedly making his fingers twist and stroke to make up for it. "Ohh, that felt-- that felt-- ahh, poor boy, you can't breathe, here,"

Xie Lian tilts Hua Cheng's head back with a hand petting through his hair, cups a tissue around his nose, clumsy with the angle. Hua Cheng doesn't mind. He's going hazy with suffocating himself on Xie Lian and the sweet control of the gesture. He nuzzles into the tissue and blows his nose, between the two of them making a mess of his face that Xie Lian has to wipe up with a little giggle.

Hua Cheng licks his lips, tasting Xie Lian and a little extra salt of his own mess. His nose still doesn't feel clear at all, but he dives back in regardless. Xie Lian arches up and his hand clenches in Hua Cheng's hair with a bright pull of near-pain as Hua Cheng's lips and tongue find his clit again in a messy kiss. He experiments with coordinating his mouth and fingers, sucking and stroking up in that curving petting gesture that is surprisingly tricky at first on someone else-- he has to rotate his wrist and re-angle his chin to get it right. The readjustment sends his nose nuzzling into the nest of wiry hair surrounding Xie Lian's clit and folds, tickling around it and threatening to make him-- god, he's not actually this sensitive, is he?

...Is he?

Oh...

Fuck,

"hh! h'nFSSCHHhh!!" He is. Hua Cheng redoubles his efforts, trying to suck harder to hold off any more sneezing--

"huh'eH'ntCHhiuuh!" Fails.

"hh'mMsSCHHhhh!!" Xie Lian clenches down, hard, on his fingers, thighs coming up to clench around his head, so probably he's all right with this-- "Oh, oh, ah-- huh-HH! HH--HAH'NxXtSCHHiiew!! Fuck!" Why is his nose so overdramatic!

"San Lang," Xie Lian practically sobs. He's fucking himself on Hua Cheng's fingers in short, clumsy jerks while Hua Cheng hovers, trying to catch his breath again and distracted by a lingering tickle in the tip of his nose. He rubs it hard against the root of Xie Lian's clit, licking and then sucking again with fluttering flicks of his tongue over the head. Xie Lian squeaks and sighs and pushes up for more, but he lets his thighs fall aside and lets Hua Cheng up for air when he can't take it anymore. He doesn't know what fluids on his face are from Xie Lian or his own nose running.

"Sorry, sorry, this one-- is so useless," Hua Cheng pants messily, sniffing in an awful compacted sNnhrrRkk sound that moves nothing.

"Not at all, sweetheart, it felt-- so good. When you sneezed in there--! But I told you it's hard for me to come again."

"Has gege ever tried a vibrator?" Hua Cheng asks.

"N-no," Xie Lian says. "I was too embarrassed to ever buy one. Where do you even go for that?"

"Oh, gege," Hua Cheng says. Xie Lian pouts when Hua Cheng takes his fingers out of him and leaves him on the bed, but Hua Cheng isn't going far-- the box of his toys is on the shelf next to the bed. He sorts through it with his clean hand until he finds the one he has in mind.

"Here," he says, "I think this might do the trick."

Xie Lian watches with big eyes as Hua Cheng licks around and inside the slightly-textured cavity of the toy and turns it on. He slides it gently over Xie Lian's folds and down from the root of his clit to get him used to the sensation (although this one's lowest setting is pretty mild). When he reaches the exposed head of his clit, Xie Lian shudders all over like he's been shocked. When Hua Cheng wiggles it into a better placement his mouth opens into a perfect 'O'. Hua Cheng turns it up a notch, and then again, and Xie Lian breathes an "Ah!" like a whispered shout.

"Ahh-hh-hhh, San Lang," Xie Lian groans. "That's-- so much."

"Good or bad?"

"Good! So good!"

"Mmn, I'm glad. This one used to be a favorite, but then I got too big for it."

"Ooh, I can, nnh! I can see why--" Xie Lian says, twisting and humping his hips up a little. Hua Cheng aches with arousal, watching him writhe. He reaches finally for a breast that has been tantalizing him, cupping it and catching the nipple between two fingers to rub back and forth. Xie Lian squeaks "Oh!" and his hips jump up again, forcing Hua Cheng to readjust the vibe to keep him inside.

Ugh, he doesn't have enough hands! His nose is starting to drip again, too, a tickly little stream that's going to... going to make him...

"a-ehh-- ehH-- hih? ihh? h-h-h-hih-- iiETXCHHhhieww!!" Oh, no-- "hAEDTXCHHhiuuhh!!" Yep, that's-- ugh, a huge mess splattered all down his own chest. Hua Cheng is so glad he didn't try sneezing on Xie Lian for that one, fuck.

Xie Lian makes a sound like he's been struck, and when Hua Cheng peeks at him for the brief instant before his nose decides it's definitely not done, he sees him staring at Hua Cheng's face and chest with open mouth and wide, ravenous eyes.

"Here, gege, --uh, huHh-- can you-- hhhold it? I, ah, hah, hAH--"

Xie Lian takes the vibrator from him just in time for Hua Cheng to curl over into his hands with the fit of sneezing that takes him.

"aaAETDCHHhhuh- eKXSCCHHhuh- eDTSSCHHhuh- iESXCHHh!! Oh, fu-uhh-hih! uh-HIH! hAH'EDXXSSCHhiewh!!" He surfaces, panting, from his hands, with a fucking string of snot still connecting from his nose to the mess in his hand. Before he can do anything about that his nose seizes again, STILL not done, and sends him right back down. "haH'EgXTCHHhiew-! hH'eDTJCHHhhiew! ah, ha-ah, eH! hEHH! hHHRRISSXCHHhhiuhhh!!"

"Fuck, oh my god," Hua Cheng groans, before he's distracted by Xie Lian's huffing breaths as he collapses down to the bed and drops the vibrator, still buzzing, to the side. "Gege, did you come?" he asks, much more avid, and also dismayed to have missed it.

Xie Lian covers his face with both hands. "San Lang!" he protests. "It sounds just like your wavs but now I get to see it and it's-- it's so intense, you're such a mess-- oh no, I'm so sorry," he babbles.

Hua Cheng pinches as much of said mess off his lip and nose as he can and laughs a little wetly.

"It's fine so long as gege liked it," he declares. It sounds thick and soggy instead of as suave as he would like. Xie Lian comes to life again to scramble to get him tissues, dragging Hua Cheng's hands down and looking, oh god-- but he doesn't seem disgusted by that, either, just avidly interested.

"I didn't know gege liked mess," Hua Cheng says.

Xie Lian starts and mops up his hands with the tissue. "It's just! San Lang is usually so put together and in charge... It's sweet to see you so..."

"Dripping like a faucet," Hua Cheng fills in for him.

"No! --I mean, yes, but it's cute!" Xie Lian huffs. "San Lang is so sensitive, all it takes is a little pollen, huh?"

Hua Cheng stops with another tissue halfway to his nose. "I wouldn't call what's out there right now a little pollen. More like a fucking plant orgy."

He blows his nose until the pressure blissfully lessens, and swipes under his nostrils when it threatens to start trickling down his lip again immediately. Xie Lian sets his hand on his thigh and watches him the whole time, making Hua Cheng feel somehow both warmly appreciated and exposed.

"Can I... can I try what you did to me?" Xie Lian asks.

"What, sucking me off? Gege doesn't have to."

"I'd like to. Unless San Lang doesn't want to go again?"

Hua Cheng shivers and tosses the damp tissues aside, to be placed in the wastebasket properly later.

"If gege is sure," he says, to hide how the idea makes him tremble and go weak with arousal. Xie Lian crows happily and rolls over to put Hua Cheng against the pillows where he just was, then crawls between his legs and traces gentle fingers up the inside of Hua Cheng's thighs.

"Tell me if I'm not doing it right?" Xie Lian says.

"Just do it like I did to you, gege, it's fine," Hua Cheng says.

Then, Oh, fuck, he thinks as Xie Lian goes from tentative licking that sends stars through Hua Cheng's crotch to sealing his mouth over his dick and sucking-- he should have mentioned that he seems to be a lot more sensitive than Xie Lian, fu-u-u-uuck!

"Fuck, gege, ah!" is all he can manage to say through the overwhelming pleasure making him stupid. He arches up into it involuntarily, but Xie Lian holds him down and licks through the folds up the underside of him-- takes just the head between his lips and sucks, gentle then hard once he figures it out--

Hua Cheng throws his head back and yells, shuddering and pulsing through a mind-melting orgasm.

"Mmmn, San Lang," Xie Lian hums blissfully. "This is fun. Can I keep going?"

"Of course," Hua Cheng says, dazed and awestruck. "Dianxia can do whatever he wants with this lowly subject--"

"San Lang!" Xie Lian laughs, slapping his hip. Hua Cheng is not ashamed of the moan this startles out of him. Xie Lian blushes faintly and goes back down between his legs. Hua Cheng catches a quick glimpse of his own cock standing so red and swollen the hood is retracted naturally-- and then Xie Lian's beautiful plush lips engulfing it. He throws his head back again and groans, loud.

"Dianxia will be the death of me," he says. Xie Lian sucks at his whole clit in retaliation for that, teeth pressing into the mound at the top and tongue flattened down into his pussy, god. He's a natural, Hua Cheng surely didn't teach him that.

For a while Xie Lian just explores, tongue dipping into Hua Cheng's pussy lightly and then stretching in as far as it can when Hua Cheng tilts his hips up in encouragement. He traces Hua Cheng's folds with his lips and nuzzles the top of his nose against the underside of Hua Cheng's dick while it twitches and twitches. Hua Cheng tries his best to stay still and keep the embarrassing noises escaping him to a minimum.

That goes out the window when Xie Lian returns to his dick with a vengeance, teeth teasing across the head (perhaps an accident, he stops when Hua Cheng yelps, but it was good, the intensity was good) and then lips pursed tight around it and tongue flicking like Hua Cheng had tried on Xie Lian.

"Ah, ah, AH, oh god, I'm-- AH, gege!" Hua Cheng pants. "So good so good so good--" He's pressing up, up, up but Xie Lian is too strong, he's not getting anywhere. Hua Cheng sobs, overcome, and coming.

Xie Lian doesn't stop this time. He teases a finger inside and now Hua Cheng can feel himself clench around that. He grits his teeth and whines when Xie Lian opens up and sucks harder, unbelievably sensitive. Every draw of Xie Lian's mouth pulses white hot through his dick, kicks up into his stomach, clenches his cunt in a shivering rush; ohhh, he can't-- Hua Cheng isn't even sure if it's a new orgasm or still the aftershocks of the first one.

All he knows is his thighs are tight enough to cramp and Xie Lian is flattening the bar of just one arm over his hips and leaning a little more of his weight into it to hold him down. His whole pussy feels swollen and actually dripping. Xie Lian starts pumping that finger in and out and Hua Cheng thrashes against his hold, "Ah, AH, AAH, HAAAAAH," coming out higher and higher as his dick goes blindingly overstimulated. He's straining, pressure rising, leg kicking out, and then shuddering and coming again in a huge, wracking pulse into Xie Lian's merciless mouth. It goes on and on with Xie Lian still suckling like he's reluctant to let go.

Finally Xie Lian lets up and Hua Cheng is left panting in harsh gasps, clit still twitching up with aftershocks.

"Ohhhhh.... oh god.... Fuck, I didn't know I could still hit that pitch," Hua Cheng mumbles, dazed. His nose sears with a tickle he'd noticed but not been able to pay attention to with how hard Xie Lian was working him over, and after a long moment of it holding him hostage, he's sneezing in a sloppy "iiH'dxKChhHieww!!" down his own chest with absolutely no control over it.

"hh'itXCHHh! hh'ISSCHh! hih'ISHhhiew!!" follow, pressed into the pillow to avoid spraying himself again.

"Mmm, bless you," Xie Lian purrs into his clit, and Hua Cheng whimpers and sneezes again, "hiiISHHh!!"

"Oh, bless! Aww, they're so tiny and cute now! Did I wear you out?"

"Gege, I'm dead," Hua Cheng insists. He can't feel his legs. His dick feels raw, almost sore. His pussy is still clenching convulsively every now and then. He pants inelegantly for a while and sniffles while Xie Lian props his chin on his arm over Hua Cheng's hips and watches him.

Surely Hua Cheng has truly died. Surely this is heaven. Xie Lian, in his bed even after seeing Hua Cheng on a bad day, sated and having just made Hua Cheng come all over himself four times in a row-- god, five times total.

"I like this," Xie Lian says. "I always worried I wouldn't, since sneezing was all that really interested me. But making San Lang come is very... Is that saying too much?"

"Not at all," Hua Cheng says, touched by Xie Lian's trust in confiding to him. "It's nice for me, too. I always thought I'd have to be so careful and try not to sneeze in bed, but gege wants me to. Ugh, I was such a mess trying to do oral, though."

"San Lang! I was just worried that you couldn't breathe. I really-- When you sneezed down there I nearly came. Sorry it takes so much for me."

Hua Cheng immediately resolves to let himself suffocate between Xie Lian's legs next time. Hell, just a tiny bit of chhinkni. He'd be fine. Probably.

"That's not gege's fault, so he has nothing to apologize for," Hua Cheng says. "Didn't he come twice when he didn't think he could? This San Lang is very smug."

"San Lang! The vibrator was amazing! I didn't know they could do that-- I thought they were like, bullet-shaped?"

"I have one of those, too, gege," Hua Cheng laughs. "That wasn't even the vibration setting on that one, technically, it was the air pulse."

"Really? What's the difference?"

"We can try it later, if you want. If you can stay. I'm probably gonna get even worse in about an hour unless I take a benadryl to sleep," Hua Cheng says.

"Oh no, San Lang," Xie Lian says, looking worried.

"It's just the meds from the morning starting to wear off, gege, don't worry. They hit peak efficacy eight hours in and wear off from there."

"Does that mean they should've been working best this afternoon?" Xie Lian says, frowning. "San Lang, I think you might need something stronger."

"But gege! What about all my loyal fans?" Hua Cheng whines. "Didn't you see the wav I put up earlier?"

"What! Today? No!" Xie Lian says, sitting up abruptly and making a motion like he's going for his phone. "Wu Mi-- San Lang!! Stop laughing."

"I can't help it, gege, that was so cute!" ===

A week later Xie Lian lies prone on Hua Cheng's couch with a cushion under his shoulders and chest while he scrolls on his beleaguered, barely revived laptop. Hua Cheng is working on something on his computer behind him. The heating pad under Xie Lian's hips is nicer here, where Hua Cheng keeps the thermostat turned way lower than Xie Lian can afford to, but he's not sure if it's helping anymore. It's very unfortunate that he can still be cramping when he doesn't even bleed anymore! Such misfortune characterizes Xie Lian's adult life, though.

The exception, of course, being Hua Cheng. Hua Cheng was a very fortunate occurrence.

Xie Lian scrolls further and stops short after getting two sentences in to the next post.

"San Lang, you didn't!" he says.

Hua Cheng peers over his screens and then cranes around to see what Xie Lian is looking at. He bursts into laughter so immediately he's clearly not had time to do more than notice the color of the website.

"Ahhh, gege finally found it?"

"San Lang!!! 'All future wavs will be posted only with the permission of ScrapCollector,' really?"

"I wanted everyone to know I belong to gege," Hua Cheng says, smug.

Xie Lian can't help but feel a tingle of gratification for that, though. As much as Hua Cheng can, it turns out, even get jealous of a recording of himself, Xie Lian now sometimes feels that it's intolerable for anyone else to so much as see or hear Hua Cheng sneeze. This is ridiculous, of course; for one, it's not like Hua Cheng can help it. He certainly tries! But the protectiveness is hard to tame.

There are a bunch of comments and reblogs under the post.

OMG!! Congratulations?! what do u mean u weren't dating before????? I thought ScrapCollector was totally already your boyfriend? You two are so sweet in reblogs together all the time? noooooo pls @/scrapcollector release the wavs! we r starving!

O-oh. Well. Xie Lian knew that Wu Ming was popular, of course, but feeling the weight of it himself is... He remembers what it's like to have fans to not let down.

"What if... What if you only posted inducing, for now?" Xie Lian suggests. That way the vulnerability of Hua Cheng's uncontrollable allergy attacks is just Xie Lian's. For now.

"Gege won't miss listening to my allergy comp's?" Hua Cheng purrs.

Xie Lian buries his face in his pillow until he has to come up to breathe. He rolls over and rips the heating pad out from under himself.

"San Lang would still send me those, wouldn't he? But they can be just for me." He braves eye contact with Hua Cheng at the end, and is rewarded by seeing Hua Cheng's beautiful mismatched eyes go wide and his pale cheeks color brilliantly. "Plus, it's not like I wouldn't be hearing them in real life, because San Lang said come over anytime, so now he's never going to get rid of me."

"Gege," Hua Cheng says, strangled. "You can't just say things like that to me, my heart can't take it."

~fin~

===

bonus hua cheng makeup/bareface comparison art:

notes:

the vibrator being described in this is a satisfyer pro 3 x,D (those are pretty wide-mouthed, too, compared to other clit toys of my acquaintance, so hc is a big boy (⁠◠ω⁠ㆁ⁠) ) xie lian later gets strap-on euphoria like "oh no, this is my cock, that can stay my clit. i can have both like san lang :)" (u can look forward to THAT extra ;D ) didn't want to extend the sex scene EVEN MORE but do know that the rest of that first night is xie lian bullying hua cheng into taking that benadryl and then listening to the wav from earlier while hua cheng introduces him to ALL the settings on that toy (referenced. in the hc getting jealous of recordings of himself >:3c ) this one is nebulously set as a "different first meeting- pre-third ascension" style au so i was going for more of that unestablished ghost king or even wulian vibes :) but of course it's a modern au so everything is pretty wishy-washy on that front no matter what x'D

#snz fic #snz kink #snz fet #sneeze kink #i've optimized my blog theme for reading text btw if u were wondering what that link is for!#me stroking this fic tenderly: “the vanillas would have loved you”#“but alas you reveal too much of the sf community for me to be sure about posting u where they could see”#(i have been vowed upon pain of death to give it to my in-the-know bestie tho x'D)#(do let me know if you agree with this choice or think it would be ok on ao3.... the formatting would benefit so greatly D'''x )#catte snz fic #catte snz art #(none of the art is actually snz but that's my tag whoops ^^;; )#and they were mutuals fic

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