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how to free yourself from people pleasing permanently⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🍨🎀


if ur done living for the approval of others, feeling the pressure of always having to make everyone else happy while neglecting yourself then this post is for you…💬🎀
BE SELF AWARE ;
the first step to change is becoming aware of ur behavior. do u say yes even when u really wanna say no? do u constantly walk on eggshells in the fear of being misunderstood? do you water urself down to be digestible to people? if u answered yes to any of these questions, chances are u have people pleasing tendencies.
WHY DO WE PEOPLE PLEASE? ;
a lot of us learnt people pleasing as a survival mechanism. we started people pleasing to fit in, or maybe we were taught from an early age that being a "good person" meant keeping everyone happy but yourself, and that love was conditional.
THE STEPS TO TAKE ;
change ur environment - if u cannot change ur environment drastically u can always change little things about it, for example changing the people you talk with everyday, taking new routes, putting yourself in new environments and planning ur next big moves
reconnect with ur authentic self - journal, reflect, be alone. figure out what you like, want, need. people pleasing disconnects you from your own identity, learn who you are WITHOUT the people pleasing performing tendencies
STAND ON BUSINESS ;
to finish off, ur not here to be liked by everyone, some people might get uncomfortable when you stop over-explaining yourself or putting them first, but that’s not your burden to carry anymore. its ur life so why shouldn't u put urself first?
im not telling u to go out and be a terrible person im telling u to listen to yourself for once. think "what does (insert ur name) want?" instead of what u should do to appease to others. dont overextend urself for crumbs girls. choose you always 💕
#honeytonedhottie⭐️#advice#it girl#becoming that girl#that girl#it girl energy#self concept#self care#blogthoughts#girlyblogpost#dearjournal#bloggerbabes#digitaldiary#myhealingjourney#justgirlythings#bloggingbaddie#glambywords#softandselfaware#people pleasing#self awareness#self improvement#self development#self improvement tips#girly#girl blog#girl blogging#dream girl#dream girl tips#dream life#fabulous
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iirc in the canon, it's not a thing -- there are hints, but it's against the Themes so it doesn't make sense to include.
in the fandom, it's frequently touched upon (impression is great for having the human reflect on their place in the world!) but people generally don't go whole hog with it. because of human bias, because mind horror isn't that fun in rp, idk.
pardon me while i find my blogthoughts on it
Everyone clap for non consensual body modification everybody loves a character whose body has been altered against their will
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random blog for blogthoughts. no sense nonsense and run on sentences. likely will go through periods of self imposed exile before short bursts of activity. chronic lurker. more active at night CST. i like discourse. abrasive at best offensive at worst. extremely mentally ill and make no effort to disguise or hide this. prone to random fits of anger + dissociation and other various issues. no im not giving you my diagnoses this is the internet. extremely private and paranoid about internet safety.
dont send me gofundmes dono posts or ebegging i am poor dont have the time to vet shit and i dont care.
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I just found my old weheartit blog ! Realizing how much a blog can be a snapshot of the thoughts i had throughout the years, stoping time by creating a way to go back to old paradigms I was in. It feels like i was a total different person, and at the same time i can recognize some constants. I wonder why we have such a need for eternity, even when it’s illusory. I think that’s why i named my blog “ameretat” : the allegory of immortality in ancient Zoroastrianism. I’m looking at the past just because it’s December 30th I guess...
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Thoughts:
Should I change this blog into a general fandom blog once more so I can include Owl House or should I just make a second blog so my Librarians and Star Trek Fans can find this one? Cause like Multi-Fandom blogs though?
#Blogthoughts#Gonna start to be more active on here again I think#Maybe#Feeling the creative urge jumping up and I miss interacting with other fans#and I wanna get in on the Owl House Discourse#because I have strong feelings about something#TOH#The Librarians#Star Trek#Multi-Fandom Blog
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Bigger Sudoku Puzzle Picture?
After all of the day to day she felt empty. Through the middle of the day to day she felt nothing but distractions. Distractions from the bigger picture. She sat down and pondered the meaning of life as if it was a sudoku or logic puzzle in one of her books. What is the point of the medial day to day trivial things? Everything seems trivial. Why is the goal to get an education and work all day everyday at a job just to pay to live?
What’s the point? When everything comes back around to how to pay for this and how to do this, everything circulates around money. Why when you hear about someone getting into college or someone getting a new job or someone getting married isn’t the first and only question we ask, “Are you happy?” Also, why do we never take someone’s answer for what it is. As if we could never believe that someone’s answer to being happy would be, “Yes, I am.” The manifestations of everything being good and evil is preposterous. The naïve notion that one must have faith to be happy or bad things will happen and we will then go into the fiery depths of hell, how do you know what the logical path is and what is the “fake” path. The path that most everyone on this earth follows and leads into only to be heartbroken by faith in a person who is not even real. Why is it that we are taught to question everything except one man in the sky? Jesus. God. The Holy Spirit. It is as if I am saying something as forbidden as Lord Voldemort. Why can things of this nature not be discussed with something other than “faith.” What happened to curiosity and research? Is the catholic faith, Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Muslim, beyond research? I was born into a Roman Catholic family who when I was younger took their faith, like most other things, semi-seriously. Sunday Saints, if you will. Growing up, my parents let me go the way I wanted, and I never really had a foundation built other than my own innate foundation that was to question all things. So, to find answers, what or who do we rely on? Everything is built on some random belief system that everyone falls prey to. Or is it all just one big pointless mess? Maybe I’m rambling. Well, let’s face it, I probably am. However, it’s something that I feel I must look into. The myths, the facts, the stories of it all. Of everything, the daily grind, the once in a blue moon stuff, everything. For myself, for my kids, and for my own wellbeing and peace of mind.
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Day Two
How easy it would be to fall a part today, into all the pieces that I’ve been fighting so hard to keep together.
I was reminded of them all today. Three different instances, the world (in my head) tried to pull me back. Back into the sadness. Back into the curiosity of where they are, how they are and where I am in their minds.
The fact is, I pulled myself up this morning. Sick and following a night of tossing and turning. Partial sleep and when I did fall, full of nightmares. I pulled myself up and I washed my face. I put something on that I know would make me laugh. I forced myself into the kitchen to cook an overzealous and healthy breakfast, that I had no appetite for. I showered and put just enough make up on to appear human. I struggled with shorts. Convincing myself that watching my diet and working out everyday was actually making me fat. I ignored that mean thought while taking them off, and pulled a pair of forgiving dark pants on instead. I told myself “It’s just in your mind,”
I stuck with the plans I committed to and had lunch with family and friends of. They eased my conscience a bit when they told me how much they loved the wedding photos I'd finally sent to them. I was so paranoid they’d hate them.
I stuck with a salad and a small bowl of soup, as everyone got up for seconds and thirds, for bread and then finally ice cream. I told myself by avoiding it all and sticking to my guns, that I’m giving myself what I want later. And what I really want is to have the confidence to wear those shorts the next time I tug them on. To ignore the voice telling me a bite won’t hurt. And so I did.
After that we played a group game--like life-size Clue, called Escapology. And I told myself I would forget about how sick I felt, and concentrate on teamwork and winning. We won.
The ride home was a dark one. It was here in the hollow tunnel view of the road, that I found how easy today would be, as one to unravel. See, it’s his sisters birthday today. And I fought so hard a week ago, not to wish him a happy one on his. The first in six years. I decided after long deliberation that he didn’t deserve it because he’d pushed me away. I wouldn't be giving my care so freely ever again, because giving it to him would be giving something that I needed. And next time, if there ever was one, I’d need him to me instead.
But it was her (his sisters) birthday today. And I still love her. I won’t think too much about that. Or the fact that she has my dog. So I wished her a happy birthday, and when she responded with I miss you, I told her I missed her a million. And I didn’t follow the hope that maybe if she missed me a million, he would too.
It was just after that I saw two more reasons to set my phone down on the counter and put my heart to bed tonight. I will not fall a part. I choose to be strong today. Even if I’m sick at the same time. I will not follow the places where my heart finds sadness and begins to ache. I will not linger on the curiosities of where you are, and where I am in your lives.
Today, at its end, we made an impromptu stop and I made an impulse purchase. My sister told me about something called a “thankful jar.” It’s where you write on a piece of paper everyday, something that you’re thankful for and the following New Years, you read all the reasons you have to be grateful. I bought a jar. I wrote down what I was thankful for, for yesterday, the first of the year. And what I’m thankful for today. I gave myself permission to write on the notes, if it was a day that I struggled to find the good. I have to believe that as I read them next New Years Eve, I’ll find them more and more light hearted. Less serious and more resembling the person I am trying to become. Even here, on this blog, I struggle to recognize myself in the seriousness of the words I type. That girl isn’t me. Yet somehow, here is the evidence.
Why is it, that sadness...the most painful thing, is actually the easiest emotion to feel?
How easy it would be, to fall a part today. It’s much more difficult to find reasons to be happy.
I need to see them. They are far more important to remember and far less elusive, if I’m forced to write them down.
And so I bought a jar.
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Two things define you: Your patience when you have nothing, and your attitude when you have everything. 😇😉 #BlogThoughts
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#Repost @wheres_websters ・・・ holy sunset // because one isn't enough & the blog is up. // He is the same yesterday, today, and forever, but His whimsy is ever evolving. // link in profile // #goodnightpost #latenightthoughts #bloggerlife #blogthoughts #upperroom #upsideofflorida #sunshinestate #saltlife #saltyhumans #saltlifeoptics #sunsetsofinstagram #sunsetchaser #pensagram #sunsetsbyloesch http://ift.tt/2nUh9Pr
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Opinion on me: the-roguee?
I totally love your blog. it’s perfect!
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I would change my url to something spooky but I'm terribly attached to this one that I've had for a year and never changed.
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i can't find my blogthoughts :( maybe i didn't blog them. maybe they were just thoughts. i've cobbled together here some notes from personal correspondence on the topic:
i think dragons and whers need a certain type of mind to be sane, to keep from instinctively going between in some kind of existential pain that's unimaginable and i think they are [in canon] beasts, animals, who can't reason and look for what they need... especially when they're newborn. so they just look for something close. and they grab onto the mind they find and they dig their little claws in and change it all in one go. that's what the joy of impression is for. it's flooding you with dopamine and serotonin to help ease your brain into accepting its new existence which has sheared half of it off an replaced with with a dragon. that's why you can make broad generalizations about, say, greenriders. greenriders at like that because half their brain is green dragon, they literally cannot be different. that's why bronzers all act like they have 12 inch dicks. that's why goldriders are always about madonna/whore and maiden/matron.
and additional thought that i remember thinking but can't find where/if i wrote it: this is horrifying for the bystanders moreso than the riders. having a friend or family member, someone you know intimately, turn into something else... something that's not them, something that you can see copied over everyone who shares their color impression... they use the same words to describe their bonded. their laugh changes; the way they hug changes. it reminds you of others of their rank. they're distracted -- unable to relate to you anymore. half of them has been paved over and replaced and they don't even seem to know it -- they describe the event as joyful, overwhelming, a blessing.
wild.
i think this is a great thing to think about because it's really truly fully 100% canon-compliant. it works because it's a watsonian analogue to the "true" doylist explanation of why certain colorriders act the way they do -- ex. bronzeriders fill a certain narrative role including tropes of headship, masculine ideation, etc., and, even in the cases where they aren't 'model' bronzers, they have to respond to that narrative role.
machismo comes for free with the bronze. you might also forget how to smile that way that your mama taught you, but you'll never know you did.
Everyone clap for non consensual body modification everybody loves a character whose body has been altered against their will
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