#blum motion tip-on

[nerdgal-dorkski]

A mid-sized minimalist open concept kitchen design with a concrete floor, flat-panel cabinets, quartz countertops, a black backsplash, white appliances, and an island is an example.

Munster Table Tennis

[gunillamixtapes]

Modern Kitchen - Kitchen

A mid-sized minimalist open concept kitchen design with a concrete floor, flat-panel cabinets, quartz countertops, a black backsplash, white appliances, and an island is an example.

[ill-written-god]

G | 916 | m/m vampire/werewolf finally some monster on monster action | fantasy | drugged flirting, pre relationship, d/s dynamics hinted

It's embarrassing. What kind of respectable vampire chips his fucking fangs? He lies to himself that maybe no one will notice, that it's not that bad. But fangs were a vamp's most noticeable feature, they were their pride and any blemish was commented on by his so-called best friends constantly.

So he sucked it up and went to the only dentist in the state who specialized in monster teeth. 

The business was in no way illegal but also wasn’t regulated in any way, so he found himself under the ground level of some back alley building, greeted by a bulky half-orc and an ‘interspecies peace zone’ sign. 

Inside there is a fairly insane-looking guy with thick glasses, scribbling something down. In front of him, sitting sideways on the dentist chair, is a werewolf, holding his cheek. His nose moves and he turns towards him, instantly twisting his face into a scowl. 

It quickly drops, the wolf letting out a pained whimper instead. 

“Awww, somebody got a cavity?” he cooed meanly. The wolf glared.

“Ah, Mr. Lee. Haven’t you chipped your fang opening a wine bottle?”

If there was any blood in him, he would go pink with embarrassment. 

“What about doctor confidentiality?!” he asks, while the wolf snickers. 

“There’s none,” the dentist shrugs. “I work on the fringes of law, so I make my own rules. One of them being my patients acting civil to each other. Respect that or find another doctor.”

He doesn’t answer, he just sits down on a vacant chair and waits for the two to finish their transaction. After the wolf pays though, he doesn’t leave. He sits down next to him, while the dentist motions him to take his place. 

“Is he gonna watch?”

“Yep. Gotta wait for the anaesthesia to wear down.”

“But-!” he cuts himself off under the doctor’s murderous gaze. He should have gone to medical school himself. To be a vampire and be overpowered by a medical professional. Unthinkable. 

He lets the mortal put his fingers in his mouth while a werewolf watches. The most mortifying time of his life.

The doctor hums as he studies his fangs. 

“I’ll give you a temporary filling but after taking a cast of your teeth. Until we fix your teeth with proper acrylic, no biting because the filling isn’t strong enough for that. It should be ready in a couple of days though, so no worries.”

The vampire hums an affirmative, mouth still full of dental tools.

After that, even more weird stuff gets placed there, like some artificially smelling pink cream, used for the cast. After that, a piece of clay to form the missing tip of his fang. 

He pays a lot, but he can afford it, and it’s worth not listening to his friends laugh anymore.

“Do you remember what to do?”

“No biting, brush gently, be back in two days.”

“Great. Now please take Mr. Blum on your way out, I’m closing up.”

“What?!” his head whips to the chair in the corner, where the werewolf is still sitting.

“He told me he reacts badly to anaesthesia but I didn’t expect it to be this bad,” the man explains with a shrug. “Just call him a taxi or something,” he waves his hand dismissively.

Lee gapes. But the doctor doesn’t seem to give him any attention, and the half-orc enters the room, giving him the stink-eye, so he grabs the werewolve’s elbow and drags him outside.

“Okay, Mr. Blum, where do you live?” he asks, straightening him up since he’s a bit wobbly on his legs. He looks around to see the nearest place to grab a taxi, but when he doesn’t get an answer, he looks down. A pair of puppy dog eyes is looking up at him, big and sparkly. The waning moon is reflected in them.

Dumbass probably was too drained after the full moon to fight the chemical haze.

“Dude?” 

The werewolf sighs.

“You vampires are so pretty…” 

For a second he’s so taken aback he’s frozen speechless. Then, he scoffs. 

“Okay, if you don’t tell me where you live, I’m just going to drop you here.”

The wolf seems to be deciphering his words for a very long time, and he’s about to drop him here and there, when he finally gets an answer, along with a giggle.

“16 Mirkwood Lane,” he says, slurring just a bit. “Will you come in?” 

The question was bad, but the eyebrow waggle was too much. He drops the werewolf on the pavement, letting him wobble against the nearest lamp pole.

He makes only a couple steps away when the night is pierced by a howl.

“Shit, fuck, fuck, shit!” he hurries back to the werewolf, covering his mouth with his hands. “Shut up!”

“Give me your number.”

He blinks.

“What?”

The werewolf inhales again.

“Fine, fine!” he hurries to cover his mouth again. “Whatever, just, shut up!”

He whips out his business card (of course he has one, he’s cultured) and hands it to the werewolf. “Here. Now, you’re gonna get in the cab, I’ll see you walk into your house, and you can call me when you sober up, no sooner,” he instructs, dragging him forward and waving to a taxi driver who stopped for a smoke.

“Yes, sir.” 

The voice is smaller than before, and when he looks down the puppy eyes are even bigger, shinier. Guess he let his dominant side out too much.

This is what he gets for drinking alcohol. 

[latestfashiontrendsandtips]

TANDEM by Blum: The Hidden Hero of Smooth Kitchen Drawers

When it comes to building a modular kitchen that runs like clockwork, it’s not just about how it looks but how it feels every time you open a drawer. That’s where Blum’s TANDEM runner system shines. Elegant on the outside and powerful inside, TANDEM brings silent movement, high load capacity, and incredible durability to your kitchen drawers.

Let’s explore what TANDEM is, how it works, and why it’s a smart choice for any kitchen especially in India, where modular design and reliable performance go hand-in-hand.

What Is TANDEM?

TANDEM is Blum’s concealed runner system designed for wooden drawers. It provides smooth, full-extension drawer motion while staying completely hidden beneath the drawer base.

It’s the go-to solution when you want your kitchen to retain a classic wood look on the outside but benefit from modern engineering on the inside.

Key Features of TANDEM

Smooth, Feather-Light Glide

With Blum’s precise ball bearing mechanism, drawers glide open effortlessly—even when fully loaded.

Soft-Close BLUMOTION Technology

Every TANDEM runner is compatible with BLUMOTION, which ensures drawers close softly and silently, no matter how hard you push them.

High Load Capacity

Handles up to 30–50 kg, making it perfect for deep drawers storing heavy pots, groceries, or utensils.

Full Extension Option

Lets you access every inch of the drawer—from front to back—without digging or reaching.

Tool-Free Assembly

Easy installation with integrated height, side, and tilt adjustments—even after the drawer is installed.

Durability for Daily Use

Tested for 100,000 open-close cycles, making it ideal for Indian households with heavy kitchen use.

Variants of TANDEM

Blum offers TANDEM runners in different configurations to suit your design and usage needs:

TANDEM with BLUMOTION: Integrated soft-close for silent closing.

TANDEM with TIP-ON: A push-to-open system ideal for handle-less drawers.

TANDEM Inside Space Tower: Used in Blum’s tall pantry solution where every drawer pulls out individually.

Where TANDEM Fits in Your Kitchen

TANDEM runners can be used across various types of drawers in a modular kitchen:

Cutlery drawers beneath the countertop

Deep drawers for pots, plates, and bulk items

Inner drawers hidden behind a single panel

Pantry drawers in tall cabinets

Under-sink drawers with custom cutouts for plumbing

Why Choose TANDEM in India?

Indian kitchens demand:

Heavy-duty performance

Consistent motion despite weight

Resistance to humidity and wear

Long-term reliability

TANDEM delivers on all fronts, making it an excellent choice for Indian homes that see frequent cooking, high temperatures, and daily wear.

Combine with Blum’s Organizers

TANDEM drawers can be enhanced with AMBIA-LINE or ORGA-LINE organizers from Blum—customizable trays, dividers, and holders that make your storage clean and clutter-free.

Final Word

TANDEM by Blum is more than just a drawer runner it’s an experience of comfort, quality, and elegance that elevates every movement in your kitchen. If you're aiming for a modular kitchen that balances beauty with performance, TANDEM is a fitting foundation.

[lifestyleguidetrends]

The Rise of Modular Kitchens: Function Meets Style in Modern Indian Homes

In today’s fast-paced world, the kitchen has evolved from a utilitarian space to the heart of the home—a place where functionality meets design, and where families cook, connect, and create memories. One of the most significant innovations in modern home design is the modular kitchen—a sleek, efficient, and customizable solution that has redefined the Indian cooking space.

What Is a Modular Kitchen?

A modular kitchen is a contemporary kitchen layout that consists of pre-manufactured cabinet parts or "modules" that can be assembled and customized according to the homeowner's space and requirements. These modules typically include cabinets, drawers, countertops, and storage units that are made using materials such as wood, plywood, MDF, and stainless steel.

The primary appeal of a modular kitchen lies in its organized structure, efficient space utilization, and the ability to personalize every element—from layout to finish. Whether you’re dealing with a compact apartment in Mumbai or a spacious villa in Bengaluru, a modular kitchen can be tailored to suit both space and style.

Key Features and Benefits

1. Space Optimization

Modular kitchens are designed with ergonomics in mind. Every inch is utilized efficiently, with corner units, pull-out cabinets, tall units, and overhead storage providing a smart solution to clutter. This is particularly advantageous in Indian homes where space is often a constraint.

2. Customizability

From U-shaped and L-shaped layouts to island kitchens and galley styles, modular kitchens offer immense flexibility in design. You can choose colors, textures, finishes, and accessories to match your overall home aesthetic.

3. Ease of Maintenance and Repair

Unlike traditional kitchens where repair work can be time-consuming and messy, modular kitchens are easy to maintain. Since components are pre-fabricated, individual parts can be replaced or repaired without disturbing the rest of the structure.

4. Modern Aesthetics

Modular kitchens offer sleek and minimalistic designs that are in sync with modern interior trends. Soft-close drawers, handle-less cabinets, integrated appliances, and intelligent lighting systems all contribute to a sophisticated look.

5. Time-Saving Installation

Since all components are pre-engineered in factories, on-site installation is quick and hassle-free, typically taking only a few days compared to weeks with traditional kitchens.

Modular Kitchens and Indian Homes

The Indian kitchen has unique demands. From storing heavy utensils and cooking spices to accommodating traditional appliances like pressure cookers and tandoors, Indian kitchens are high-traffic zones that require durability and intelligent design.

This is where international brands like Blum play a crucial role. Known for their precision-engineered furniture fittings and motion technologies, Blum has seamlessly adapted its offerings to suit Indian kitchen needs.

Blum: Engineering the Heart of the Kitchen

Blum, an Austrian brand with over 70 years of experience, has been a game changer in the Indian modular kitchen space. By combining European design excellence with Indian functional requirements, Blum’s products enhance not just the look of your kitchen but also its performance and longevity.

Their AVENTOS lift systems, LEGRABOX drawers, and CLIP top BLUMOTION hinges are particularly popular in Indian kitchens. These components ensure effortless movement, soft-closing doors, and optimized storage—crucial for households that deal with heavy usage and diverse cooking routines.

Moreover, Blum’s motion technologies such as TIP-ON (for handle-less designs) and SERVO-DRIVE (for electric opening support) bring a level of automation and convenience that is typically seen in high-end kitchens. With a 15-year product warranty and a growing presence through experience centers across India, Blum offers a reliable and future-ready solution for homeowners investing in modular kitchens.

Key Components in a Modular Kitchen

1. Cabinetry

Cabinets form the backbone of any kitchen. In modular setups, base cabinets, wall units, and tall pantry units are pre-fabricated and customized to your layout.

2. Drawers and Organizers

Deep drawers with inner dividers are a hallmark of modern kitchens. Systems like Blum’s TANDEMBOX or MERIVOBOX offer excellent load-bearing capacity and internal organization—ideal for storing pots, pans, and grocery items.

3. Countertops

Modular kitchens allow you to choose from a variety of materials like granite, quartz, Corian, and stainless steel. The surface needs to be durable, stain-resistant, and easy to clean.

4. Hardware and Fittings

The quality of hinges, slides, and mechanisms defines the longevity of your kitchen. Investing in branded hardware—like that offered by Blum—ensures years of trouble-free usage.

5. Appliances Integration

A good modular kitchen design incorporates built-in appliances like ovens, microwaves, and chimneys to maintain a seamless appearance and maximize functionality.

Trends in Modular Kitchens

As urban homeowners become more design-conscious, modular kitchens are evolving to include bold color schemes, matte finishes, smart storage solutions, and integrated lighting. Open shelving, biophilic elements (like indoor herb gardens), and multifunctional islands are also gaining popularity.

Additionally, sustainable design choices—like using eco-friendly boards and energy-efficient appliances—are becoming an integral part of modern kitchen planning.

Final Thoughts

A well-designed modular kitchen is an investment that enhances daily living, increases home value, and brings a sense of joy to cooking. Whether you’re building a new home or renovating an old space, choosing high-quality fittings and a thoughtful layout can make a significant difference.

[informativearticlesforyou]

Transform Your Home with a Modular Kitchen: Efficiency Meets Elegance with Blum

In today’s fast-paced lifestyle, the kitchen has evolved from a purely functional area into a versatile and aesthetic space that defines the heart of every modern home. A modular kitchen—with its sleek design, space optimization, and intelligent layout—has become the preferred choice for homeowners seeking a balance of form and function. Among the many brands leading this transformation, Blum stands out for its precision-engineered hardware and solutions tailored to the demands of contemporary living.

What is a Modular Kitchen?

A modular kitchen is a term used for a modern kitchen layout that comprises pre-made cabinet parts or “modules.” These modules are designed to fit together neatly, making installation faster and maintenance simpler. Each module is crafted to accommodate specific functions—be it cooking, cleaning, or storage—ensuring optimum utilization of available space.

Unlike traditional kitchens, which are built on-site and often lack uniformity, modular kitchens offer a clean, organized, and ergonomic environment. The design possibilities are endless, catering to diverse interior styles, from minimalistic to luxurious.

Why Choose a Modular Kitchen?

Customization and Flexibility: Modular kitchens are highly customizable. You can select the materials, finishes, colors, and layouts according to your space and style preferences.

Efficient Space Management: With cleverly designed pull-outs, corner units, and overhead cabinets, modular kitchens maximize storage without cluttering the space.

Ease of Installation and Maintenance: Pre-fabricated units are easy to install, dismantle, or replace, making it convenient for renovations and relocations.

Aesthetics and Functionality: Blending design with utility, modular kitchens offer a seamless and contemporary look while ensuring everything has its place.

Blum: Elevating the Modular Kitchen Experience

When it comes to enhancing the efficiency and durability of a modular kitchen, Blum is a name that resonates with quality, innovation, and smart engineering. Headquartered in Austria and known globally, Blum designs and manufactures furniture fittings that ensure smooth motion, user comfort, and long-lasting performance.

Here’s how Blum integrates into the modular kitchen space:

1. Seamless Motion with Blum Hinges and Lift Systems

Blum’s hinge systems, such as the CLIP top BLUMOTION, provide soft-close technology that ensures cabinet doors close gently and silently, even with a firm push. This not only enhances durability but also reduces noise—a small touch that makes a big difference in daily use.

For overhead storage, Blum’s AVENTOS lift systems (HF, HS, HL, HK) are a game-changer. These systems allow wall cabinets to swing open upward, staying out of the way and providing easy access without obstruction. Ideal for compact kitchens, they improve convenience and aesthetics alike.

2. Efficient Storage with LEGRABOX and TANDEMBOX

Storage is the backbone of a modular kitchen. Blum’s LEGRABOX and TANDEMBOX drawer systems are designed for elegance and optimal use of space. LEGRABOX, with its slim design and premium finishes, is perfect for minimalist or high-end kitchen interiors.

These drawers run on MOVENTO and TANDEM runner systems, offering synchronized, silent motion and a high load-bearing capacity. With customizable depths and heights, they accommodate utensils, crockery, and pantry items with ease.

3. Innovative Motion Technologies

Blum revolutionizes kitchen ergonomics with its motion technologies.

BLUMOTION ensures soft and quiet closing.

TIP-ON provides a push-to-open feature for handle-less cabinets, ideal for modern kitchens.

TIP-ON BLUMOTION combines the best of both: a push-to-open system with a soft-close mechanism.

SERVO-DRIVE, Blum’s electric motion support system, enables touch-activated opening for drawers and lift systems—adding a luxurious, high-tech edge to your modular kitchen.

4. Smart Planning and Installation Support

To assist homeowners, designers, and carpenters, Blum offers digital planning tools like the Product Configurator and DYNALOG. The EASY ASSEMBLY app ensures flawless installation through step-by-step guides and videos. These services reflect Blum’s commitment to not just selling hardware, but delivering a complete, hassle-free experience.

Sustainability in Kitchen Design

Blum’s approach to sustainability aligns with the long-term value modular kitchens offer. Their fittings are tested for 20+ years of daily use and are manufactured with eco-conscious processes. A modular kitchen with Blum hardware is not just built for today—it’s built for a future of reliable performance and minimal environmental impact.

Final Thoughts

A modular kitchen is more than just a trend—it's a smart lifestyle choice for the modern homeowner. With the right design and components, it transforms your culinary space into a hub of comfort, efficiency, and beauty.

[seowhisperer]

Top 8 Reasons to Invest in TANDEMBOX for Your Furniture  

When it comes to modern furniture, the right storage solutions can transform both the functionality and style of your home. TANDEMBOX, a high-quality drawer system from Blum, is an investment that enhances the performance and aesthetic of any living space. Whether you’re designing a kitchen, office, or living room, here are the top five reasons why you should consider investing in TANDEMBOX for your furniture.  

1. Durability and Stability  

TANDEMBOX is known for its exceptional durability. Made from high-quality materials, it offers superior strength and stability, capable of supporting heavy loads without compromising on smooth operation. Whether used in a kitchen for storing pots and pans or in an office for filing documents, this drawer system is built to last. With its robust construction, you can rely on TANDEMBOX to handle everyday wear and tear while maintaining its functionality for years.  

2. Smooth and Quiet Operation  

One of the standout features of TANDEMBOX is its advanced motion technology. Equipped with Blum’s renowned BLUMOTION soft-close mechanism, the drawers glide smoothly and silently, providing a premium user experience. No more slamming drawers or noisy disruptions—each drawer gently closes, making it perfect for both residential and professional spaces. Additionally, TANDEMBOX offers options like SERVO-DRIVE for electric opening and TIP-ON for push-to-open functionality, enhancing convenience and making it ideal for those who want a hands-free experience.  

3. Customization to Fit Your Style  

TANDEMBOX is not just about function; it’s also about style. The system comes in a variety of finishes, colours, and side designs, allowing you to customize your furniture to suit your interior design preferences. Whether you prefer a sleek, modern look or something more traditional, TANDEMBOX offers a range of aesthetic choices to match your home’s décor. The flexibility in design ensures that the system can seamlessly integrate into any space, adding both beauty and practicality to your furniture.  

4. Efficient Organization  

One of the primary benefits of TANDEMBOX is its ability to help you stay organized. The drawer system supports customizable inner dividers, making it easy to create dedicated spaces for different items. Whether you need to organize kitchen utensils, office supplies, or personal belongings, TANDEMBOX offers the flexibility to tailor your storage solution. This efficient organization reduces clutter and ensures that everything has its place, making it easier to find what you need when you need it. For those who value a clean and tidy space, this feature is a game-changer.  

5. Ease of Assembly and Maintenance  

Another reason to invest in TANDEMBOX is the ease of installation and maintenance. The system is designed for simple, tool-free assembly, which means you can set it up quickly without the need for professional help. Its modular design ensures compatibility with a wide range of furniture, allowing for versatile applications across different rooms in your home. 

Additionally, the materials used in TANDEMBOX are easy to clean and maintain, ensuring that your furniture continues to look pristine with minimal effort. This makes it a practical choice for busy households or offices where maintenance time needs to be kept to a minimum.  

6. Eco-Friendly Design  

As sustainability becomes increasingly important, TANDEMBOX stands out as an eco-friendly choice. Blum is committed to using environmentally responsible materials and processes in the production of its products. By investing in TANDEMBOX, you’re not only choosing a high-quality, durable product but also supporting a brand that prioritizes sustainability. This makes it an excellent option for those who want to reduce their environmental impact while still enjoying top-tier functionality and design.  

7. Versatility for Any Room  

While TANDEMBOX is often associated with kitchen and office furniture, its versatility makes it suitable for almost any room in the house. Whether you’re outfitting a living room, bathroom, or bedroom, TANDEMBOX can be customized to fit the needs of the space. From large drawers for bulky items to smaller compartments for delicate objects, the system’s flexibility allows it to be used in a wide variety of furniture pieces, including cabinets, sideboards, and storage units. This adaptability ensures that you get the most out of your investment, no matter where you use it.  

8. Long-Term Investment  

Finally, investing in TANDEMBOX is a long-term decision. Its durability, combined with its timeless design, means that you won’t need to replace your drawer system for many years. Unlike cheaper alternatives, which may wear out or lose their functionality over time, TANDEMBOX is designed to withstand the test of time. Its high-quality construction and advanced features make it a smart choice for anyone looking to invest in furniture that offers both style and longevity.  

Conclusion  

TANDEMBOX by Blum is more than just a drawer system—it’s a solution that enhances the functionality, organization, and aesthetic of your furniture. With its durability, smooth motion technology, customizable design options, and ease of maintenance, it’s a smart investment for any home or office. Whether you’re upgrading your current furniture or designing a new space, TANDEMBOX provides the perfect balance of form and function. Choose TANDEMBOX today and experience the difference in quality and convenience.  

Investing in TANDEMBOX means investing in a future of efficient, stylish, and sustainable furniture.  

[amrinaalshaikh]

What's a Pull-Out Shelf Lock and How Is It Useful For You?

The furniture industry has witnessed steady evolution over the last few decades. Gone are the days of utilitarian or purely ornamental furniture pieces. Today, most households prefer furniture that is a blend of form and functionality. At the same time, there is more focus on accessories or elements that enable better ease of use and overall convenience. Safety is also an aspect that influences most furniture-buying decisions today.

When it comes to useful hardware for homes, pull-out shelf locks have steadily attained immense popularity in recent times. Here’s learning more about whether they are useful for you or not.

Knowing More about Pull-Out Shelf Locks

Pull-out shelf locks have several applications and enable a more secure hold for pull-out shelves. This makes them necessary for every home today. Convenience is what shapes the quality of life in recent times and hence lock-open stops make for practical choices for shelves in this category. For instance, Blum is one of the top brands offering pull-out shelf locks for its TANDEM and MOVENTO range of pull-out shelves. The biggest advantage in this case is that the unique mechanism holds the open pull-out shelf securely in position without any worries.

Pull-out shelves are widely used in several areas of the home including utility areas, living rooms, bathrooms, and kitchens. With pull-out shelf locks, these shelves can be held securely while open. The lock-open stop is thus a major boon for all households in the current scenario. If you are choosing this technology from Blum, then you can integrate more advanced features such as TIP-ON BLUMOTION, BLUMOTION and TIP-ON. These premier motion technologies enhance the overall usage experience greatly, to say the least.

The locking system can safely engage on both the sides whenever you fully extend the pull-out shelf and will firmly hold in place alongside. You can easily release the same with just one hand, with its synchronization linkage feature. You have to lift the lever in order to unlock. You can complement this pull-out shelf lock with a runner system. The synchronization linkage may be cut as per the width of the pull-out shelf. At the same time, any pull-out shelf can be upgraded with the lock with a few easy steps. The locking units can be seamlessly attached to the synchronization linkage. Units may also be positioned flush against the shelf with the screw on and positioning guide. Latching elements may also be attached to the runners using chipboard or system screws.

Signing Off

Pull-out shelf locks play a vital role in enabling greater security and convenience across modern homes. This is suitable for applications throughout the laundry and kitchen zones while it can take loading weight of 40, 60, or even 70 kg if you are using the Blum MOVENTO runner system.

BLUMOTION may also come as standard in this case along with optional TIP-ON BLUMOTION and variable width up to 1200 mm. The scope of usage also encompasses entertainment units, vanities in the bathroom, wardrobes, commercial spaces, offices, hospitality units, universities, interior cabinetry, and shop fit-outs. Soft-closing systems enhance the experience greatly and are highly recommended if you want a gentler and noise-free environment. Considering all the above-mentioned advantages, pull-out shelf locks are certainly value additions to any home.

[cgtaxpe]

Modern Kitchen Inspiration for a mid-sized, modern, l-shaped, open-concept kitchen remodel with a concrete floor and features like an island, flat-panel cabinets, quartz countertops, a black backsplash, and white appliances.

[toomanyf4ndoms7]

Enter the Kombat Kids OC’s: Not everyone, just ones that I feel will show up more often.

This’ll probably be a long one.

Students and staff.

Kimberly Lane: Resident IT expert and the one with all the info on the latest drama and gossip. Acts as the unofficial relay point for Cassie and the gang whenever they need a refresher on high school drama. She has a feeling that there’s something up with them, but as long as they keep their deal she can move past the quirks. Has a habit of referring to people by last names. Considers herself and Jacqui to be “Acquaintances.”

Quote: “Information has a price Briggs, and so do I.”

Matthew Key: Top of the mathematics class, much to his chagrin. Has a habit of appearing in places you wouldn’t expect him to. Attracts pigeons somehow and visitors are afraid he’s attained a psychic link. Normally quite standoffish, he’s more respectful towards people who actually try to engage with him instead of just pigeonholing him (haha) into “Math whiz.”

Quote: “Just ignore the birds, they’re not too bad.”

Daniel Blum: Once one of Chris’s bullying cronies, Daniel split away from the group in tenth grade and started working to become a person he wants to be instead of blindly taking orders. He’s not perfect, taking anger management classes and sometimes struggles with saying the right thing at the right time, but there’s no doubt he’s mellowed out. Likes astrology and is always ready for a friendly competition with newfound friends.

Quote: “Look, people change. That’s all I’m saying. I mean, look at me.”

Teachers:

Mr Vogel: The school history teacher. A tough grader who appreciates when students put in extra effort. Isn’t fond of idle chatter/distractions. Is low key interested in the old Outworld and netherrealm invasions and wishes there was more real information.

Quote: “Those who failed know who you are and what you must do.”

Mrs Burch: One of the physical education instructors who can be either your favourite teacher, or make your PE class into a living hell. Cassie is one of her favourite students, just ahead of Jacqui, who impressed her with the goal kick of the century.

Quote: “So, any volunteers? Or am I going to pick one?”

Mr Forden: A music teacher. Usually easygoing and chilled, unless you clearly disrespect him. His class has a bit of running joke with him saying “Toasty!” in response to a students talent show performance, but he rolls with it.

Quote: “I don’t expect you all to make masterpieces, but I expect at least a little effort on your part.”

Soldiers:

Colonel Flagg: The “delivery driver” for the Kombat Kids missions. Cool headed and friendly, he’s one of the few soldiers who treats the team with respect instead of just tag along kids. Has a scar over his left eye from a BD mission.

Quote: “You four have fun. Bring back a souvenir if you can.”

Sargent Blake: A long standing member of the SF and one of the more vocal opposers to the “Next gen strike force.” Will refer to them as rookies but knows when to let his personal issues stand aside for a mission. Has tried arguing against the team, but lost.

Quote: “You’d best let the professional’s handle this.”

Colonel Chard: The fill in for Flagg whenever he’s off duty. He’s more bitter, especially in regards to Sonya, but is largely professional and respectful.

Quote: “She’s a hard person to please, but give it a whirl.”

Gemini: Another long standing member of the SF, Gemini prides herself on her technical expertise. Nowadays, she’s more than happy to see what Jacqui tinkers up to in the lab. More details on how I write her here.

Quote: “Knock yourself out.”

General adults:

Charleston Pesina: Owner of the “Mokap Mocha” coffee shop. Used to be a motion capture guy in Johnny’s films, now he lives the quiet life of coffee and teaching a karate class to kids who need it.

Quote: “It’s a boring life, but who says that a bad thing?”

Lily Price: Waitress at the “Grub Club” diner and the personal favourite of Cassie and friends. Gets extra tips by Cassie, even when she says it’s alright. Owns a pet frog, loves him with her entire heart and soul.

Quote: “What can I get for you four this fine afternoon? And, no, we are not hosting the nacho challenge anymore after last time.”

I hope you enjoyed? Keep in mind that there will most likely be more characters, these are just the ones I believe have the most prominence/necessary to be aware of.

[eddieeatsass]

The Truth Is That I Think I've Had Enough

Summary: For the first time since Stan developed feelings for his best friend, Richie was finally single on Valentine’s Day, and Stan was fully planning on taking advantage of it. He invited Richie on a camping trip, just wanting one night where he could pretend, but Richie had different plans. Pairing: Stozier Rating: E Warnings: Eventual smut, explicit language

Read on AO3

When it came to the list of things Richie wanted to be doing on Valentine’s Day, Stan knew camping was not high up on the register. Richie was a city boy through and through, but he was also a loyal friend, so when Stan suggested they go camping for the weekend, Richie had gone along with it.

They were both single, after all, and it’s not like they didn’t hang out every other day of the year… so why should Valentine’s Day be any different?

Well, as far as Richie was concerned, it wasn’t. But Stan may have been indulging in his yearning just a little bit. For the first time since Stan developed feelings for his best friend, Richie was finally single on Valentine’s Day, and Stan was going to take advantage of it. So sue him if he wanted to pretend for one night that things were different.

But the truth still stood that Richie knew nothing of Stan’s pining, and nothing about camping, which made the trip a little tricky. They’d gone camping a few times when they’d been kids, tagging along with Stan’s parents who had done most of the handy work. All Richie and Stan had worried about was how toasted to make their marshmallows in pursuit of the perfect smore.

But now Richie was standing before him, gazing between the crumpled tent on the ground, and Stan’s awaiting expression, clear confusion boggling his mind.

“You gonna help or am I doing this all on my own?” Stan asked with light laughter.

“Uhhhhhhhhhh…” Richie drawled, unsure of how to proceed. “I mean yeah, of course, I just don’t quite... know... how.”

Richie picked up one of the objects sitting atop the tarp-like material. He jumped back when what started as a small bundle of sticks suddenly snapped out into a series of rods.

“Careful Rich! I didn’t plan on losing an eye today. We don’t have the medical equipment for that.” Stan warned, making sure to keep an ease to his tone so Richie knew he was teasing.

Richie nodded earnestly, taking more precaution as he began to snap the sticks into one long rod.

Stan knew what he was doing well enough to not need instructions, but Richie’s every move was a gamble between helping, or causing the whole tent to deflate. Stan finally took pity on him and assigned Richie the easy task of getting their blow up mattress out of the car, figuring it would be easier to finish the tent without Richie’s helping hands.

Their tent was generously sized, large enough for a twin person air mattress, and then a little extra room for their cooler and bags. Stan assured Richie that there were no bears in the area, so it was safe to sleep with their food alongside them, but Richie was still hesitant. He soothed himself by insisting that Stan sleep on the side closest to the cooler. If a bear attacked, it would be Stanley’s job to keep Richie safe. Stan’s heart fluttered a bit at the trust Richie instilled in him, no matter how hypothetical, or how unlikely he’d be to actually win a fight against a bear. Stan chose to keep both of those hypotheticals to himself and let Richie think him brave.

When Richie trekked back from the car, heavy box in one hand and air pump in the other, Stan was all done setting up the tent.

“God, why is this so heavy!?” Richie complained, plunking the box with the air mattress at their feet.

“It’s the price we pay for comfort.” Stan said, amused.

“At least we don’t have to blow this thing up with our mouths.” Richie conceded, giving the box a swift kick in retaliation for making his arms hurt.

“Psh, you don’t have enough air in your lungs.” Stan teased, taking the pump from Richie’s outstretched hand.

“But I have the blowjob lips to make up for it. One wrap of these puppies around that nozzle and it would blow itself up.” Richie made obnoxious kissing noises, too distracted by his obscenity to notice the way Stan’s cheeks heated up. His pulse pounded in his ears as thoughts of Richie’s lips wrapped around something else crept into his mind.

“Richie, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but blowjobs don’t involve any actual blowing.”

“And how would you know that, Stanley?”

“I’m a virgin, not an idiot.” Stan deadpanned.

Truth be told, Stan wasn’t as much of a virgin as his friends thought he was. He hadn’t done much, but because of his religion and strict parents, they’d all assumed Stanley hadn’t even kissed anyone yet. Low and behold it was at Jewish summer camp that he had experienced his first kiss, and his second, and so on. He’d even gotten to second base on the very last day of camp with good ol’ Patricia Blum.

But Stanley was a private man, and as respect for Patty, he hadn’t gone around spreading word of their affairs, even though he was secretly dying to tell Richie and see how far his jaw dropped when he found out Stan had gotten more action than he had. Trashmouth never shut up about sex, but they all knew he’d never had any. Stan wondered if Richie would ask Stan for tips, or ask him to demonstrate how he’d groped Patty down by the lake that day. He could show Richie a thing or two, teach him how to be soft and gentle with his fingers.

“Looks like the sun is already starting to go down.” Richie noted, peering off towards the cliff that overlooked the valley. They’d gotten prime real estate thanks to Stan’s knowledge of the woods. He knew exactly where to go where they wouldn’t be disturbed by other campers.

“We should start a fire.” Stan decided. He’d had enough training in the boy scouts to know it was always better to start your fire before the sun went down. It saved you a lot of annoyance, frozen fingertips, and a much harder time finding resources by flashlight.

“Rich, can you gather some twigs for me? About this big,” Stan picked one up that was by his foot. “and make sure they’re dry.” He handed the stick to Richie, who immediately brought it to his forehead in a fake salute.

“Aye aye captain!” Richie stiffened his limbs, swiveling around and doing his best army march impression as he wandered off in search of sticks.

While Richie was away, Stan got to work on setting up a makeshift pit for the fire to be contained in. He gathered as many rocks as he could find nearby and set them up in a neat little circle. Once Stan was satisfied with his work, he moved on to blowing up the air mattress inside their tent.

As he connected the pump to the mattress and began the repetitive motion that would surely leave his arms aching, he let his mind wander.

In hindsight, there was probably a much subtler way Stan could have found to spend Valentine’s Day with Richie. He’s sure if he’d offered up their usual Chinese food and ‘The Princess Bride’ (Richie’s all time favorite movie no matter what he says to the contrary), Richie would have pounced on the idea. So why had Stan felt the need to make it into a whole thing?

Well, he knew why, but he didn’t want to admit it. The knowledge was coated in shame and guilt, but it was still buzzing in the back of his head like a bug he couldn’t squish. Stan wanted this to be a date. Maybe he even liked pretending it was. He knew that wasn’t fair, but he didn’t have much control over it. If they’d done the same thing they always did, it wouldn’t have felt special.

Once the air mattress was completely inflated, and the pump tucked back into its box, Stan let himself fall forward on to the air filled PVC with an auditory oof.

Face down in the uncomfortable fabric, Stan felt like it was where he deserved to be. Lovesick, lying, dirty little-

“Yo, Stanny, I got your sticks!”

Stan steeled himself, tucking away his intrusive thoughts in favor of less intimate ones.

When Stan exited the tent, he wasn’t expecting to come face to face with a mountain of sticks. Standing before him, Richie was covered in dirt, twigs sticking out from his bush of hair, and arms full of branches towering high enough to shield half his face.

“Get in a fight with a tree?” Stan teased, hurrying forward so he could take half the stack from Richie’s shaking arms.

“Yeah, the tree won.” Richie answered with a matching tone, causing Stan’s heart to flutter traitorously.

“We didn’t need this many, you know.”

“I know, but I figured better safe than sorry, right? What if we suddenly need to build two fires? Or three? Or maybe even a fourth? What if we get stuck out here forever and need to provide heat to the village we create to survive. Our children deserve fires too, don’t they Stan? Don’t they?”

“We’re having children?” Stan questioned, beginning to place the sticks in the small fire pit he’d made.

“Yes.” Richie answered definitively as he plopped down beside Stan.

“I’m not sure that’s anatomically possible, but sure, I’ll play along.” Stan delighted.

“Okay, so we’re gonna have two kids. Twins.”

“Of course.” Stan nodded seriously, entertaining Richie’s wild imagination.

“One girl and one boy, or, you know, whatever gender they wanna be. We ain’t gonna be those kind of parents.”

That roused a laugh from Stan, knowing too well how strongly Richie’s opinions on parenting styles were. Richie had thought long and hard on what kind of parent he wanted to be in the future. You wouldn’t think Richie Tozier was a sap when it came to children, but tiny tots had him wrapped around their fingers. Richie had been dreaming about starting a family since they were kids, and Stan was no stranger to being ‘the wife’ in the equation. Richie had organized many imaginary weddings for them when they were young. They’d been married seven times in total, and had played house more times than Stan could count. It was almost enough to fuel Stan’s late night thoughts that Richie might actually reciprocate his feelings.

“We’ll name them Pizza and Macaroni.” Richie declared.

“Why in hell’s name would we do that?” Stan scoffed, grabbing the box of matches from his pocket. He ignited one and flicked it into the center of the pit.

“We’re creating a new society, Stan. There are no rules, no norms. Pizza and Macaroni could be the new standard for names. Imagine.”

“I don’t want to.”

Richie wrapped an arm around Stan’s shoulder and pulled him in close, leaving little room between their faces for Stan to breathe.

“Imagine.” Richie repeated with extra vigor.

“Fine.” Stan closed his eyes and paused for a moment. “I’m imagining it.”

“And? It’s beautiful, right?” Richie asked excitedly.

“Oh, oh god, Macaroni just stabbed Pizza with a fork. He’s bleeding everywhere! There’s no paramedics around, the town consists of just us and we never got any medical training. I’m holding our son, Richie. I’m holding him in my arms, oh god, his blood tastes like tomato sauce Richie-”

“Shut the fuck up!” Richie laughed, wrestling Stan to the ground and pinning him in place. “Take it back! Do not eat our son, Staniel!”

“But he tastes so good.” Stan giggled, his eyes still squeezed shut.

“Spit him out! Spit him out or we’re getting a divorce!”

Stan finally peeked one eye open, seeing Richie’s bright smile hovering over him and dark curls falling into his eyes.

“You’ll have to divorce me seven times then.” Stan challenged with a quirk to his eyebrow.

“Huh?” Richie’s face contorted as he tried to pinpoint Stan’s line of thought.

A piece of Stan’s heart detached from itself and fell into the pit of his stomach. Of course he didn’t remember, why would he?

“Nothing, never mind.” Stan laughed shallowly, shrugging Richie off and rolling back on to his feet. He stopped to check that the fire was successfully catching and was moderately pleased with the small flames he saw licking at the sticks. It should continue to grow if they left it.

“Are you hungry?” Stan asked over his shoulder, using it as an excuse to detach himself from what had just happened.

“Uh, yeah, I could go for some food.” Richie answered, mild confusion still evident in his voice.

“Cool, I brought hot dogs and beans-”

“I think I want smores.” Richie’s voice suddenly rang from beside Stan, causing him to jolt. Richie just laughed at the reaction, cutting in front of Stan and jogging towards their tent.

“You can’t have smores for dinner, Richie.” Stan chastised.

“You’re not my mom!”

Stan once again found himself fighting back a smile as Richie’s figure disappeared into the tent.

An hour later Stan found himself sitting on a log they’d rolled over from a nearby fallen tree. He was holding a stick over the fire, a marshmallow precariously hanging from the end of it. The sky had darkened to a navy blue, pin pricked with stars and constellations they had yet to discover.

Stan moved the marshmallow a little farther above the flames, keeping it from getting charred like Richie’s own marshmallow, which was engulfed in flames.

“I can hear you judging me.” Richie quipped, keeping his eyes on his marshmallow as he brought the flaming gelatin towards himself and began erratically blowing it out.

Stan kept his laughter locked behind his lips.

“It’s just… so unnecessary.” Stan responded.

“It’s not unnecessary! It’s fully necessary! This is the only way to get the perfect marshmallow!” Richie defended.

Stan looked over at the gooey black orb Richie was shoving between two graham crackers. He made a fake gagging noise while sticking out his tongue, finally letting his laughter free when Richie punched him playfully in the arm.

“The perfect marshmallow will never include scorch marks.”

“Boo, you’re no fun.” Richie took a stubborn bite of his smore, reaching out with his free hand and tapping Stan’s stick.

Stan watched in horror as his flawlessly roasted marshmallow disappeared into the flames of the fire, immediately disintegrating into nothing but sticky residue.

“Saboteur!” Stan yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Richie’s chocolate covered face.

“Moi!?” Richie gasped, throwing a hand to his chest dramatically. “I would never! But, I am not a heartless man. Please, as condolences for your loss, will you accept the other half of my smore, monsieur?”

Stan wanted to cringe at the terrible french accent Richie adorned, but his cuteness won over and Stan was just left smiling.

“I suppose I’ll eat your ash-cookie.”

“I’d rather you eat my ass, cookie.” Richie shot back without pause, winking slyly as he scooted closer to Stan on the log.

The air around Stan began thickening, heating him up from the inside out and causing his brain to melt just slightly. He watched in slow motion as Richie’s fingers brought the half eaten smore up to Stan’s lips. It should have been gross; Richie’s face and fingers had remnants of chocolate on them, the smore was falling apart and showcasing the awfully burnt marshmallow, and Stan had a strict ‘no-sharing-food’ policy because he didn’t like sharing germs. But regardless of all of those reasons to pull away, Stan found himself leaning in closer.

As soon as Richie’s fingers brushed Stan’s lips it was like something inside him took over. Stan raised his hands to hold Richie’s wrist, and then cocking his head so he had a better angle, he raked his tongue over Richie’s fingers as he gathered all the chocolate he could. It was a lewd gesture, one Stan would never imagine doing any other time, but something about the flickering campfire and the stillness of the wind made him feel like he wasn’t in this world anymore. He was in a world where he could make Richie want him.

“Uhm…” Richie’s shaky breath brought Stan hurtling back to reality fast enough to leave him dizzy.

Stan quickly let go of Richie’s arm, pulling away both physically and emotionally as he chewed his smore with vigor.

“You’re right.” Stan said through a mouthful of goo. “It’s not as bad as I thought it’d be.”

Richie just stared in awe as Stan tried to swallow past the sticky chocolate and marshmallow that stuck to his teeth in defiance.

Once the residue of his humiliation was all swallowed down, Stan stood abruptly, stretching his arms high above his head and producing a fake yawn.

“Jeez, I’m tired already.” Stan lied, hoping Richie would go along with it.

“Makes sense, we did have a long day of travelling.” Richie answered towards Stan’s turned back.

Stan let out a sigh of relief he hadn’t been aware he’d been holding. As he let his arms drop, so did his shoulders, and some of his tension along with it.

“I’m gonna go change into my pajamas.” Stan stated, leaving hurriedly before Richie could respond.

Once in the tent, and hidden behind its nylon walls, Stan was finally able to process what he’d just done. As he slowly changed into his pajamas he went over the course of events in his head, wincing as he recalled the way he’d indulged so passionately in such a platonic touch. It had felt so good in the moment, convincing himself he saw lust in Richie’s eyes, but the remorse he felt now settled over him like a blanket. He didn’t want to ruin his friendship with Richie, he couldn’t, he had to keep himself together.

Stan was startled out of his stupor as the zipper of the tent began to open. Stan quickly pulled his sleep shirt the rest of the way down, hiding away his body and his thoughts alike.

“You decent?” Richie asked teasingly before opening the zipper any wider.

“Yeah.” Stan responded, warmth already licking back up his chest.

Richie opened the tent the rest of the way and as he climbed in Stan could see that he’d put out the fire. He felt a weird swell of pride that Richie had remembered at least some of the camping basics Stan had taught him.

He’d averted his eyes as Richie changed, had curled in on himself as Richie leaned over him to reach their stuff, but now he was laying next to Richie’s warm body with no way to escape. Their proximity seared into him like a burn that he was far too aware of.

“You know, this was way more fun than my usual Valentine’s Day.” Richie offered into the silence, gazing up through the skylight that allowed them to see the stars.

Stan’s heart threatened to break out of his chest.

“The past few years I’ve usually spent it with some equally lonely one-night-stand. The sex was never good enough to make the next day worth it.” Richie admitted.

“Why not?” Stan piped in.

Richie thought for a moment, allowing the silence to lull them a little bit deeper into the comfort of night.

“I’d wake up feeling disappointed because the person next to me was never who I wanted it to be.”

Stan’s ears perked up. He angled his body towards Richie, cushioning his head in the crook of his bent elbow as he contemplated his friend’s profile. This was the first time Richie had ever alluded to having a crush.

“Who did you want it to be?” Stan asked shakily.

Richie turned his head towards Stan, locking eyes with him and seeming to search for something.

“What about you?” Richie asked, flipping the question around without answering it.

“What do you mean?”

“Who would you choose to wake up to every day?”

The question leered above their heads, threatening to fall and crush the thin veil of tension that had formed between them.

Stan gulped audibly, wanting nothing more than to shy away from Richie’s gaze, but he held strong.

“It doesn’t matter, they don’t want the same thing I do.”

“How can you be sure?” Richie murmured challengingly.

Stan’s mouth gaped open and closed like a fish out of water as he tried to wade through the chaos in his head.

“All I know is I’m glad I’m waking up next to you tomorrow.” Richie said, turning his head back to the sky.

Blood pounded in Stan’s ears as he tried to decode Richie’s words. Was he saying what he thought he was saying? Or was Stan just reading into things, spurred on by his unrequited feelings and juvenile hope?

“I’m glad too.” Stan breathed out.

Richie didn’t miss a beat before answering.

“Glad enough to kiss me?”

Stan’s entire body froze, something inside him shattering as the butterflies finally escaped his stomach, filling up their tent until Stan couldn’t see anything but Richie.

Slowly, as if scared one wrong move would make Richie run, Stan propped himself up on his elbow, peering down at Richie’s expectant face. He kept his pace steady as he slowly dipped down and braved a single kiss.

It wasn’t much of anything, just a chaste peck, a quick dip into the pool to test the water. But that one kiss was enough to erase all of Stan’s trepidation, leaving him as bare and open and vulnerable as Richie was. And it felt liberating.

The next few minutes passed by in a flurry. Richie surged up to reclaim Stan’s lips, no longer just a peck but now a full-blown kiss that left Stan’s legs shaking. Richie flipped them over so he was hovering above Stan, using his leverage to kiss up Stan’s neck, the line of his jaw, and back to his lips. It was quick to turn feral, their teeth clanking against each other as desperation took over. Stan had never felt so terrified and turned on at the same time, his hand trembling as it fisted into Richie’s lush curls and pulled him closer.

Stan’s breathing was labored, his swallows dry as he tried to steady his quickening pulse. Richie was everywhere, blanketing all of Stan’s senses. The smell of Richie’s laundry detergent swirled around them, melding with the lingerings of their campfire. His tongue tasted sweet like the chocolate they’d eaten, and the sound of Stan’s own meek noises were swallowed up by Richie’s own deep growls. If all that wasn’t already over-stimulation enough, Richie’s was consistently rutting himself against Stan, causing his arousal to become less and less subtle with every passing moment.

Stan broke away with a heaving breath, peering up at Richie through hooded eyes.

“I’m a virgin.” Stan blurted.

Richie stared deeply into Stan’s eyes, churning his gut with intensity until what felt like several minutes had passed. When Richie finally spoke again, the sound nearly startled Stan.

“Me too.”

Stan smiled, thankful that Richie felt safe enough to be honest with him. He reached a hand up and gently cupped Richie’s cheek, who immediately leaned into the touch.

“We don’t have to, uh, do anything.” Richie stuttered out, his eyes gently closing as he relaxed into Stan’s hold.

“I know. But if you wanted to…” Stan trailed off, leaving the offer open-ended.

Richie’s eyes popped back open, searching Stan’s face for further explanation.

“I brought stuff… uh… just in case. I guess I was kinda hopeful about tonight.” Stan admitted, averting eye contact. “Can I make a confession?” Richie whispered, his voice going a bit rough at the end. “I was kind of hopeful myself…”

“What do you mean, exactly?” Stan asked.

“I sort of fantasized about the way tonight might play out. I’ve had some… personal experience with receiving, so I made sure to clean myself in case my wildest dreams suddenly came to fruition. But I can also top! Uhm, if that’s your preference.” Richie rushed in addition.

“Personal experience? I thought you were a virgin?” Stan’s tone held a lick of jealousy, which he tried to cover up by clearing his throat.

In response Richie held up his hand and wiggled his fingers, hoping that Stan got the message.

“Fuck that’s so hot.” Stan groaned, letting his head fall back against his pillow. He felt open mouth kisses being peppered down the column of his neck and keened embarrassingly loud.

“I’ll be honest, the thought of splitting you open on my cock does sound appealing.” Stan murmured.

Richie’s head shot up, his eyes wide like a deer in headlights. Stan thought he’d said something wrong until Richie was suddenly shucking his clothes as quickly as possible, dizzying Stan with his pace.

“Slow down! Rich- Richie- there’s not that much room in the tent!” Stan laughed, trying (and failing) to get Richie to sit still. When he finally stopped moving, Richie was stripped down to his underwear.

It’s not like Stan and Richie had never seen each other in their underwear before, but apparently context did a lot, and in this context Stan’s whole body was thrumming at the sight.

“Fuck, we’re really doing this, huh?” Stan whispered, trailing his gaze down Richie’s lean torso.

“Only if you want to.” Richie assured.

Stan wanted to. He wanted it more than anything. But words were failing him as he took in this brand new Richie, bathed in moonlight from the tent’s open skylight, eyes wide and vulnerable with lust.

So instead of talking, Stan took action. He locked eyes with Richie as he began stripping off his own clothes, doing so much slower than Richie had. It was purposeful, a confirmation that he was all in. Their gaze didn’t break until Stan was bared to the same degree as Richie, his navy blue boxer briefs a stark contrast to Richie’s hot pink flamingo print.

Stan was the one to surge forward when their tension peaked, knocking Richie on to his back and giving himself room to straddle him. Richie’s hands were slow burning coils against Stan’s skin, lighting him up everywhere they touched. Stan rolled his hips down experimentally, feeling Richie’s responding twitch between the thin fabric that separated them.

“Off.” Stan demanded, pawing at the waist of Richie’s offending boxers.

Richie complied, but did one better. In the same fail swoop, Richie hooked his thumbs under both of their waistbands and pulled them down in conjunction.

The action resulted in a collective moan as their oversensitive cocks finally broke free and rubbed against each other.

It didn’t take long for Richie's hands to slither back up their thighs and in between them, grabbing them both in one hand. Stan hissed at the contact, clenching his teeth in an attempt to hold back the wave that already threatened to crash over.

“Fuck, Stanny. Who knew you were packing?”

The comment was so un-sexy it made Stan puddle into laughter, his head falling to Richie’s shoulder as the chest underneath him rumbled in tandem.

“Sorry, I don’t think I’m very good at this whole dirty talk thing.” Richie admitted between giggles.

“I don’t want dirty talk.” Stan murmured, placing a gentle kiss on Richie's temple. “I just want you.”

Richie nodded, evidently calmed by the notion that he didn’t have to perform, he just needed to be.

Richie experimented with another flick of his wrist, causing Stan to jerk away instinctively.

“Rich- if you keep doing that I’m not gonna last.” Stan admitted.

“Damn, I’m that good?”

“Shut up and teach me how to finger you.” Stan smirked as he wiped the smile right off Richie’s face.

“It might be better if I just… show you.” Richie shifted out from under Stan and got to his knees.

“You said you have lube…?” “Oh!” Stan exclaimed, bouncing up and reaching for his backpack. He immediately procured the lube and condoms he’d brought.

“Thanks babe.” Richie said casually, missing the way Stan spluttered at the pet name.

Richie reached for the lube as Stan tried to recover, but he didn’t have much time to do so as he watched Richie squeeze a little bit of lube on to his fingers and immediately reached behind himself.

Stan’s heart went mad, bouncing against its confines like it was a prison. He couldn’t help but stare at the way Richie’s face contorted into an all new type of expression, one Stan had never seen on anyone’s face before.

His eyes trailed down Richie’s torso, stopping to admire the way his thin body strained around muscle, how his pale chest flushed pink with arousal, and the delicious way his cock stood to attention just begging for praise. But it was the space between Richie’s spread thighs that mesmerized him, where he could see his hand moving behind him.

Without thought, Stan’s hand drifted to his own cock, acting on instinct as his mind went hazy. He held it gently, not stroking it so much as just giving it the pressure it craved. He watched as Richie’s index finger disappeared inside himself, making Richie moan lewdly.

Richie didn’t take long to get all three fingers inside himself, getting more and more into it as the minutes ticked on. Richie now had his eyes shut and his head thrown back as he fucked himself down on his digits. Stan almost didn’t want to stop him, wanted to see how long Richie could ride himself until he made himself cum, but even more than that, he wanted to feel Richie’s tight heat constricting around his shaft. “So are you gonna let me fuck you or what?” Stan’s voice seemed to jostle Richie out of whatever place his mind had gone to, causing him to look around the tent for the culprit of his ceased pleasure.

“Stanny, fuck, please-” Richie’s voice was completely hoarse as he crawled towards Stan eagerly. “Come here, let me take care of you.” Stan ushered Richie forward, pulling him flush against his chest and kissing him as passionately as possible.

“I want you to ride me.” Stan whispered against Richie’s lips.

“Yes, please.”

Stan laid back down, pulling Richie on top of him for the second time that night.

They kissed for a while longer, grinding into each other as Stan’s cock teased at Richie’s entrance. Keeping their lips locked, Stan reached for his condom, tearing it open expertly and bringing the latex down between their bodies.

Richie sat up on his knees, giving Stan room to roll the condom down over his dick, but as soon as it was situated snug against Stan’s pelvis, Richie wasted no time coating it in lube. He threw the bottle behind him, moving impatiently as he fumbled to line Stan’s cock up with his hole.

“Rich...” Stan reached for Richie’s free hand and entwined their fingers. The gesture gave Richie pause and he finally let out a sigh.

“Sorry, I’m just… I’ve wanted this for a long time.” Richie said quietly.

Stan’s heart swelled. He squeezed Richie’s hand in reassurance.

“Me too, but that doesn’t mean we have to rush. I’m not going to suddenly change my mind, we can take our time with this.”

Richie bowed his head, a shy smile flashing pearly teeth. Stan took the opportunity to slink his own hand around his cock, joining Richie’s. Together, they held it still as Richie slowly sank down until the head popped past his rim.

They both gasped as the new sensation washed over them.

Richie started cursing under his breath, sinking down a little bit lower every few seconds until he was fully seated in Stan’s lap.

Stan held an iron grip on Richie’s hips as he tried to ground himself, the feeling of Richie clenching around him almost too much to bare.

“Why haven’t we been doing this all these years.” Richie whined, pulling himself up until the head of Stan’s cock threatened to slip out, before pushing back down at a satisfyingly slow pace.

“Because we’re idiots.” Stan answered, raising his hips to meet Richie as he came down.

“H-huge idiots.” Richie agreed, nodding along with his thrusts.

“We have a lot of - hnnnng fuck - a lot of time to make up for.”

“Is that a promise?”

“Rich, I would literally stay in this moment for a lifetime if I could- ahhhh.”

“Your dick might shrivel up.” Richie noted, speeding up his rhythm upon hearing Stan’s moans.

“Worth it.” Stan swallowed thickly, getting lost in the sight of Richie’s cock bouncing against his stomach.

“I wanna suck you off.” Stan blurted, no longer able to filter his thoughts through the haze in his brain.

“Fuck, Stanny- you’re so perfect- nnnnggggg ohmygod-” Richie’s entire body tensed up as he reached his peak. Stan watched as his cock twitched, releasing strings of cum that shot impressively far. The feeling of Richie clenching around him paired with the sight of him completely unraveling tipped Stan over the edge along with him.

His orgasm felt like it lasted a lifetime, draining every ounce of energy out of him and leaving Stan completely boneless by the end. He vaguely processed Richie slipping off him, heard the sound of the tent unzip, and then felt the warmth of Richie’s body saddling back up beside him.

“You okay there?” Richie’s voice drifted through the tent, but it still felt light years away. Stan nodded meekly, his bearings just starting to come back.

Stan peered down at his spent cock, giving it a small nod in appreciation for its performance.

“Where’s the condom?” Stan asked drearily.

“I put it outside the tent.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Would you rather we sleep with it next to us?” Richie asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Mmmmm- shut up and spoon me.” Stan grumbled, turning to his side and pulling Richie’s arm over him.

“As you wish.” Richie whispered.

[loserslibrary]

pairing: Stanley Uris/Patricia Blum/Richie Tozier [Stanpatchie] written by: Vega rating: Explicit  word count: 2,711 prompt: “Not sure if anyone is willing, but due to lack of content, would love to see some Richie/Stan/Patty. Love this so much and would love to see some college aged shenanigans with them. Something sexy would be great. Maybe a first time all together. But if not up for that, maybe something with the three just being fluffy and domestic together. Just would love to see more content with them. Thanks!”

Richie stopped in front of Stan and Patty’s apartment door, his knuckles hovering in the air. He’s been here more times than he can count. Mostly because there were so many times he wouldn’t even remember going to their apartment – he would just wake up there with a killer hangover. And there would be Stan, drinking his coffee at the table like a goddamn dad of four, while Patty hummed to herself and made some breakfast. They were a bunch of college kids, but Patty and Stan seemed to have everything together.

Richie remembered when Stan first introduced him to Patty. Well, “introduced” isn’t the right word, since Richie already knew Patty. He was the one who told her to go after Stan.

A small smirk appeared on his face at the memory, before his phone buzzed in his back pocket.

Stanley the Manley: Almost here?

Shit. Why was he so damn nervous about this? Patty probably just needed to tell him something that “couldn’t wait,” even though it absolutely could. He wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans before taking a deep breath and knocking.

He heard Patty giggle – a soft and bubbly sound – behind the door before she was shushed by Stan. The door opened and Richie saw Patty hide a smile behind her hand before she turned around and practically skipped to the couch in their living room.

“Don’t mind her,” Stan waved his hand. “She’s just excited.” Was Richie seeing things, or did Stanley just wink at Patty?

“Uh, yeah. Okay.” Richie walked through the door, his body lightly brushing against Stan’s. “So what’s up?” Patty giggled again.

“Oh, you know… we just missed you.”

“Missed me?” Richie glanced at Stan, his eyebrows knitting in confusion before he composed himself and turned back toward Patty. “I mean, I know I’m amazing but c’mon. Stanley? Missing me? Seriously, what’s this about?” Stan rolled his eyes and placed a hand on Richie’s shoulder, leading him over to the couch.

“Just sit down and watch a movie with us.” Richie was sat in between the two of them, not upset in the slightest. After all, they are his best friends, but mostly he’s just confused by the action. Patty had her legs draped over Richie’s, her feet on Stan’s lap. It’s not like it wasn’t normal, hell, Richie has kissed Patty numerous times during games of spin the bottle. He was used to her physical affection. No, what he was confused about were the glances between Stan and Patty, the ones that led to Stan smirking and Patty having to hide her laugh behind her hand.

What the hell was going on?

The credits barely even started before Stan spoke up, and yup – that was definitely a wink.

“So, Patty had an idea…” Patty reached across Richie to playfully slap Stan.

“Oh, don’t pretend we both didn’t have the idea.” She turned to Richie, her hand on his upper arm, squeezing lightly. “You know how he is, always playing innocent.” A wicked smile spread on her lips, her eyes glinting in the yellow light of the room. Richie swallowed thickly, shifting in his seat uncomfortably, blood rushing to his crotch.

Why was he getting so turned on by this?

Stan’s fingers danced across Richie’s shoulder and a chill ran down Richie’s spine. “We were thinking,” his voice was low and husky. “What if you joined us?” Richie’s mouth went dry.

“W-What?” Richie’s eyes grew wide behind his glasses. Patty squeezed his arm again, this time more reassuringly.

“If you want to, of course.” Her voice was softer and warmer than Stan's.

“Yeah!” He whipped his head around to face her so quickly and she giggled again. “I mean, I thought you guys were like… perfect together?” He always thought they were happy with each other. Was their sex life really that bad that they needed him of all people? Stan laughed softly.

“It’s not what you’re thinking. We love each other and we are happy. It’s just…” He looked to Patty for help, not quite sure how to word what he wanted to say.

“We feel happier with you.” She said simply. “It’s like you complete us in a way we didn’t know was possible.” Richie let the words sink in. He… completes them? Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier completes picture perfect couple Stanley Uris and Patty Blum? He must be dreaming.

“Rich?” Stan tried gently, noticing the distant look in his eyes.

“Are you guys fucking with me?” He looked at Stan, trying to see if he’d crack and laugh at Richie for actually believing this. When he didn’t, Richie turned towards Patty, knowing she was never able to keep a secret. There were countless times when Richie’s pranks failed because Patty couldn’t keep a straight face. “I know I’ve joked about being fucked by you guys, so if this is payback for going too far–”

“Richie,” Patty moved her hand to his shoulder. “We’re serious.”

“Oh my God.” Stan rolled his eyes and grabbed Richie’s face, turning it toward him. He tilted his head slightly before pressing their lips together. Stan worked their mouths together for a moment until Richie processed what was happening and started kissing back. He felt Stan smirk against his lips before he pulled back. “Is that proof enough we’re serious?”

“Uh huh,” Richie said dumbly. Patty leaned forward, the word she whispered in Richie’s ear giving him goosebumps.

“Good.” She moved to straddle Richie’s lap, grinding down on him slightly to elicit a hungry moan from him. She captured his lips with her own, moving them together, slowly at first, until she swiped her tongue across his bottom lip. He readily opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, his hands instinctively going to rest on her hips. Stan got up from where he was sitting, moving to stand behind Patty. He leaned down to kiss the spot just behind her ear that made her go crazy. Pulling her hair away, Stan made his way down Patty’s neck, kissing and nipping at the skin gently. She broke the kiss with Richie to lean back into Stan’s touch, a small whine leaving her mouth. Stan rubbed his hands up and down her sides, his touch light.

Richie stared wide-eyed at the view in front of him, his mouth slightly agape. Patty’s face was flushed, accentuating her delicate features, while Stan looked at him with hungry, half-lidded eyes. Stan grabbed one of Richie’s hands, guiding and giving him permission to touch Patty. He hesitated for a moment before slipping his hand under Patty’s thin shirt. Her skin was smooth, almost burning to the touch, as he slid further and further up, cupping her breast. Patty’s eyes fluttered closed, a small smirk appearing on her lips as Richie realized she wasn’t wearing a bra. He opened his mouth to say something, but Stan beat him to it.

“Bedroom. Now.” He practically growled out. Patty let out a small whine when Stan withdrew his hands from her, but she obliged, sliding off Richie’s lap.

“I’m assuming you wanna be in charge tonight?” She had a sly smile on her lips and he hummed in response.

“Wait,” Richie spoke up, very intrigued. “I want her to be in charge.”

“Beep beep, Rich.” Stan said with a roll of his eyes. Patty giggled again, and gently patted Richie’s cheek.

“Next time, baby.” She made her way to the bedroom, stripping off her shirt and throwing it on the floor. Richie watched her as she walked away, entranced by the whole situation. He had to be dreaming.

“C’mon, Richie.” Stan’s voice brought him back to reality. “We shouldn’t keep her waiting.” He winked at him, motioning him to follow, and Richie did, eagerly on Stan’s heels for the short walk to the bedroom.

Patty was lounging on the bed, naked except for white, lacy panties, dragging her fingers on the sheet while she waited for them. She perked up when they entered the room, scrambling to sit up on her knees. Stan walked up to her, capturing her lips in a sweet and tender kiss.

“Couldn’t wait for us, huh, babylove?” Stan teased, his voice soft. She laughed against his mouth and Richie felt his heart swell with love for his friends before he moved toward them.

“So can I get in on this or what?” Stan laughed softly, breaking away from Patty to turn to face Richie. He grabbed the back of Richie’s neck, bringing him into a passionate kiss. This time, Richie noticed how soft Stan’s lips felt against his, noticed the strong grip Stan had on him. Stan bit his lower lip, causing Richie to moan and allowing Stan to deepen the kiss. Richie heard Patty get off the bed, and stand behind him. Her hands wrapped around his waist, first sliding up his shirt before she started palming his growing erection over his underwear.

Stan moved away from Richie’s mouth, leaving sloppy and wet kisses and gently, but firmly, biting along his neck and shoulders.

“Stan,” Patty breathed against Richie’s ear, sending a shiver down his spine. “Help me out.” Her hands were fumbling with his belt, trying to get it at least loosened enough to slide Richie’s pants down. Stan smirked, but wordlessly obliged. Richie’s pants fell to the ground and Patty turned him around, getting on her knees in front of him. She hooked her fingers under his underwear, sliding them down his legs until they hit the floor. She licked her lips as she stared at Richie’s hard cock, eyes wide and hungry.

“Didn’t think all those jokes were true, Tozier,” Patty teased before she put her lips around him, her hand at his base. She swirled her tongue around his tip, earning a soft groan from Richie. She slowly worked her hand in rhythm with the short bobs of her head. With his eyes fluttering closed, Richie grabbed onto Patty’s hair, pulling slightly. He heard a rustle and a drawer closing behind him.

Suddenly, Patty pulled her mouth off of him, smirking up at him, before she stood up and made her way back to the bed. She sat back, leaning against the headboard. Richie was still processing what just happened when he felt a strong hand on his shoulder, guiding him to the bed as well. He was gently pushed forward, falling onto the soft mattress underneath him and landing on his hands and knees.

“Being a little rough, Stanny?” Richie looked back, smiling at him. Stan, stripped down to his underwear, rolled his eyes, squeezing lube onto his fingers. He nudged Richie’s legs further apart. He teased his fingers around Richie’s rim before he pushed one in. Richie moaned while Stan slowly pumped his finger, waiting for Richie to get accustomed to it before adding another one.

Richie faced forward, seeing Patty’s hand slide underneath her panties, her hand moving in rhythm with Stan’s fingers. Her face was flushed, the blush spreading to her chest, accentuating the faint freckles she had on her body.

“Holy shit,” Richie breathed out. Stan began scissoring his fingers, stretching Richie out, adding a third finger in. A groan left Richie’s mouth, if it felt this good, he could only imagine how Stan would make him feel. Still keeping a brutally slow pace, Stan continued to work his fingers, long fingers brushing against Richie’s prostate with each thrust. “Stan, please.” Stan hummed, wanting Richie to say it. “Please fuck me.”

Stan glanced at Patty, watching the way her chest rose and fell with each jagged breath, her pleasure growing. He caught her eyes and quirked an eyebrow, an unspoken question on his lips and she nodded in response.

“Richie, baby,” Stan leaned forward to whisper in Richie’s ear, breath hot as he withdrew his fingers, and Richie whined at the loss. “I’ll fuck you hard,” he grabbed Richie’s hips and ground them against his clothed hard cock for emphasis, causing him to groan. “But you have to be a good boy and help Patty out, okay?”

“Yesyesyes.” The words tumbled out of his mouth immediately. Patty lifted her hips off of the bed, sliding her underwear off and tossing it on the floor. She scooted closer to Richie, and he hooked his arms under her legs, placing soft kisses against her inner thighs, before moving to her pussy.

Stan hooked his fingers under the band of his underwear, letting the fabric fall to the ground. He took his length into his hand, rolling the condom on and moaning slightly, applying the cool lube to himself. He watched Richie and Patty for a moment – with Richie gently sucking at her clit and folds, before pushing his tongue inside. She moaned loudly and grasped at the bedsheet underneath her, knuckles turning white.

“Richie,” Patty screamed out at the same time Stan lined himself up to Richie’s entrance, gripping his hips with enough pressure to bruise. He pushed in, burying himself to his base, both Richie and Stan groaning at the feeling. He let Richie adjust for a moment before he started moving, thrusting slowly and shallowly into him. Richie moaned with the movement, trying to focus on helping Patty through her orgasm. She rode out her high, bucking her hips forward and gripping at Richie’s hair. Stan slammed Richie’s hips back to meet his, and Richie let out a muffled cry.

“You feel so good, Rich,” Stan growled, earning another moan from him. His pace quickened, the room filled with sounds of groans and pants and skin on skin contact. “Fuck her in time with me, baby.” Richie obliged, his tongue darting in and out of Patty at the same brutal pace, his hand snaking around to rub at her clit, until she was nothing but a mumbling mess, screaming out “yes” and profanities.

Patty’s thighs started to tremble, the pressure in her stomach building up again. She held Richie’s face to her pussy as she orgasmed. One of Stan’s hands left Richie’s hips, moving to grab onto his leaking dick. He spread the precum around the head with his thumb before he started to work at the same rate as his thrusts. Patty let go of of Richie’s hair, her head falling back against the pillows in bliss. He licked around Patty’s folds before kissing her thighs again, leaving the occasional bite. Richie moaned against her skin, Stan’s pace becoming rougher and more chaotic as he chased his orgasm.

“Fuck, Stan I’m gonna–” The words died on his lips as Richie came all over Stan’s hand, his head falling to rest on Patty’s stomach. Stan continued to fuck into him, wiping his hand on Richie’s thigh before placing it on his hip again. He slammed into him, their hips meeting as he spilled into the condom. He held onto Richie while he rode out his high, fingernails digging into his skin, leaving crescent shaped marks. Stan pulled out, Richie whining a little even in his tired state. Patty gently ran her fingers through Richie’s hair, telling him how good he did in hushed whispers. Stan smiled at them before falling onto the bed next to them, arm slung around Richie’s body.

“You know, Richie,” Stan spoke softly. “We do want you to be with us. Not just for sex.”

“I know,” he mumbled against Patty’s skin, tickling her and causing her to giggle. “And you know I love you guys, right?” He lifted his head and rested his chin on top of her stomach, looking at the two of them with vulnerable eyes.

“We know” Patty’s voice cracked a little as she placed her hand against his cheek, looking at him softly. “We know.” 

[thescholarlystrumpet]

The One Where Blum Doesn't Exactly Get What He Wants

Rated Explicit

A/N: I’m TRASH and needed Roland Blum porn so I gave him an OC to square off against. Please enjoy!

On AO3 HERE

Blum took a step forward and Madeline took a step back. They repeated this dance until she felt the wall at her back. He grinned triumphantly, raising one arm just past her shoulder, boxing her in on one side.

“Really? This is your big move? Cornering me in an empty office after a couple drinks?”

“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” he shrugged, leaning in toward her.

Madeline turned her head to the side, denying him contact, but she didn’t move away. Her heartbeat was thudding in her ears, pulse thrumming hot and centering between her legs. She’d tried so hard to ignore it, to keep it at bay. Some part of her still hated him, hated everything he stood for. Hated the way he used people and tossed them aside.

Hated the way he could still affect her, even knowing all his demons as she did.

Blum wet his lips with a swipe of his tongue. “I’m not keeping you here against your will. You came back up with me.”

“I was drunk when I said yes.” Madeline rolled her eyes for emphasis.

“So was I. I'm drunk right now.”

“You’re always drunk, Roland.” She gave a half-hearted laugh.

“Mm, I like it when you say my name, Maddy.” He lifted his other hand to her cheek, trailing his fingertips across her jaw and over her lips. She parted them without thinking and he dipped a single digit inside. “Sweet, beautiful clever little mouth you have,” he crooned.

Maddy flicked her tongue against his finger before catching it with her teeth, smiling around it as Blum’s eyes widened.

“Oh, baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me,” he sang, slightly off key.

She tilted her head away and he withdrew his finger. “You said you had something for me,” she reminded him, trying to regulate her breathing.

Don’t do this, she reminded herself. You’ve outlasted so many others because you’re smart, you’re talented, and you won’t fuck him. Gotta keep him hungry or he’ll lose interest and you could lose the most interesting job you’ve had since graduating law school.

“What did you think I was talking about?” He cupped himself through his pants and waggled both eyebrows.

“You’re disgusting.”

“You’ve always known that.” His eyes searched her face. “Come on, Maddy, I heard what you said at the fundraiser tonight.” His gaze raked a burning path down her body and she felt naked despite the heavy satin of her dress. “Looking like that, hanging on my arm all night…”

She huffed a protest. “We were working. Networking. I was talking you up to a prospective client, like I always do. Like you pay me to do.”

He pursed his lips and dropped his arms back down, fiddling with his cuffs. She tried not to feel it as a loss when the warmth of his body shifted away.

“Who are you trying to fool here, kid?”

She closed her eyes and shook her head. “It’s been two years. Two… complicated but ultimately successful years, need I remind you? I’ve outlasted three other associates and God knows how many members of your damn entourage. Why now? Why tonight?”

Blum met her question with an inscrutable look. “Why not tonight? We’re riding high, I’m feeling good.” He cha-cha’d toward her, hips gyrating, before leaning in to whisper in her ear. “And I haven’t been able to take my eyes off of you all night.”

A shiver ran down her spine as his hot breath tickled her hairline.

“Roland,” she breathed, flushing scarlet in a flood of desire and shame.

He nosed along her neck, one hand shaping her waist. “That’s right, baby, say it again. Say it like you mean it.”

“I’m not your baby,” she grit out through clenched teeth, even as her traitorous body responded to his ministrations.

“Fine, Ma’am. Mistress. Whatever you wanna be called,” he muttered into the crook of her shoulder before nipping at her pulse point.

An exclamation escaped her and she clenched her thighs together as the throb between them grew.

Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him.

Not like that.

Exactly like that.

Fuck.

His hands were beginning to roam as his mouth continued to work its magic along her neck and collarbones. She’d have expected him to be sloppy, uncouth and selfish but apparently seduction was the only area outside of creative truth-telling to which Roland Blum could bring any serious focus.

Throwing the last reserve of her willpower into her hands, she grabbed his lapels and pushed his face away from her neck.

He gave her a frank look of surprise. “And here I thought we were starting to enjoy ourselves.” He added an exaggerated pout. “Go on, tell me that pussy’s not a little wet…”

“Jesus… read the room, Blum.” She tried and failed to steady her voice, to sound like her breathing hadn’t gone ragged and shallow.

“I am and you know I am.”  A sly smile spread across his face as he sunk to his knees. “In fact, I’d put good money on it. If I lifted this skirt and pulled down your panties right now…” he toyed with her hemline, eyes never leaving her face.

Maybe it was the alcohol still in her veins. Maybe it was the tension that had been building much longer than she cared to acknowledge. Maybe it was just the sight of him on his knees, wild-eyed and wanting.

Whatever the reason, Madeline finally let go.

“Ok. Ok. You know what? Just. Just… oh, fuck it.”

“Music to my ears,” he chuckled.

She glared at him. “You just down there to beg or what?”

His eyes lit with gleeful anticipation. “Oh, I can do so much better than that, Maddy.”

Permission now clearly granted, he didn’t waste another second. His hands wrapped around her calves, kneading the muscles there. As he moved upward, he bunched the fabric of her skirt and ducked his head beneath.

Madeline swore aloud as she felt his breath ghost over her sex, his beard scratching at her upper thighs. He nudged her legs further apart and she grabbed the edge of a nearby table to help stay upright. She could feel him trailing open-mouthed kisses from her knees to the crease of each thigh, just glancing past the place she was neediest. She made an impatient sound and he laughed, muffled by her flesh and the fabric.

Still, he took the hint. The next thing she felt was a hot, wet lapping against her thong. She spread her legs just to the point where she could still stand, inviting him in. The tip of his tongue traced the edges of the skimpy mesh lace before returning to press into the center. He licked a stripe upward, hitting the underside of her clit and her hips bucked involuntarily.

“Oh yes,” he groaned and repeated the motion.

One hand emerged from under her skirt to hold her hips in place as the other hand pulled the sodden undergarment aside. His tongue lashed against her directly and Madeline hissed her pleasure. He slid his tongue the length of her slit, teasing at her entrance and withdrawing. She reached down and found a handful of his wild curls, her nails scratching against his scalp as she directed him forward.

The hand not holding her hip lifted one of her legs and flung it over his shoulder. She flexed her foot and shunted her hips toward him.

“Yeah, just like that,” he muttered before driving his tongue inside her.

Madeline ground against his face, whimpering shamelessly as she sought more sensation. She could feel her climax just beginning to build, a tenseness in her abdomen, fizziness at the base of her spine. But it wasn’t enough.

She pulled his face away from her pussy and he looked up at her, panting.

“What?”

“Use your fingers. I like it rougher than that.”

“Oh fuck baby - sorry, Mistress Maddy - I’m gonna come in my pants, you keep talking like that.”

Madeline shrugged one shoulder. “Not my problem.” She guided the hand that had been holding her hip down between her legs.

Blum fixed her with an expression of unfathomable hunger. “Ask and ye shall receive.”

He watched her face as his fingers played over her heated flesh, one finger sinking in easily to be joined quickly by a second. He pumped them slowly in and out of her, his lips parted and eyes half lidded.

Madeline rolled her hips, urging him deeper, faster. He picked up the pace, setting a brutal rhythm but she met him thrust for thrust, chasing that exquisite friction. He slowed just enough to ease in a third finger, crooking them just so, hitting that most sensitive spot over and over until she was nearly mindless with pure sensation. Her entire focus narrowed to the delicious fullness, the spark that flared higher and higher each moment until it engulfed her. She shouted inarticulately at her peak, inner muscles clenching around his digits.

He pet her gently through the aftershocks, planting little kisses on the insides of her thighs once more.

Madeline adjusted her thong to provide what little coverage it could and lowered her leg from his shoulder. She found herself wanting to giggle but she swallowed the feeling down. There’d been quite enough indulgence for one evening.

Blum got to his feet, rubbing his knees as he did so. His erection was bulging obscenely against his fly. He gave her a smug smile.

She returned it with her best ‘cat that ate the canary’ impression and pushed past him, striding toward the door as best she could on wobbly legs. “Well. Thanks for that.”

“Wait. Wait, Madeline,” he called after her.

She turned halfway, looking back over one shoulder. “Hmm?”

He gestured emphatically to his hard-on. “What about this?”

Madeline smiled, saccharine sweet. “Told you, Roland, not my problem.” She turned back to the door with a tepid wave of one hand. “See you Monday, boss.”

She could still hear him swearing as the elevator doors closed. Oh, there’d be hell to pay but she could weather that storm when she had to. For now, she needed to go home and unwind in the fading afterglow of both orgasm and getting one up on Blum.

[bibhabmishra]

8 movies that really got science wrong

Science has been a dependable companion to Hollywood, giving the hereditary enchantment that breathed life into dinosaurs back, the errant medication that gave our planet to the gorillas, and the radiation that helped man become bug.

In any case, has Hollywood regarded science consequently?

In the tallness of summer blockbuster season, we asked everybody from George Church to Dr. Richard Besser to specialists went government officials to certainty check the big-screen science behind some paramount films and detail the scenes that made them squirm in the theater.

What's more, we'd prefer to give a cap tip to @TheSciBabe otherwise known as Yvette d'Entremont, a previous systematic scientific expert, for rousing this rundown. Her own pick is 2012's "The Avengers."

"Jurassic Park" (1993)

Featuring

Sam Neill, Jeff Goldblum, and Laura Dern

IMDB plot rundown

During a review visit, an amusement park endures a significant force breakdown that permits its cloned dinosaur displays to go crazy.

Master truth check

One of my preferred bloopers was "Jurassic Park" utilizing "Lysine Contingency" for biocontainment. [Editor's note: Lysine Contingency was a presented hereditary change that made the dinosaurs reliant on lysine supplements from the staff so they couldn't get by outside the recreation center, as indicated by Jurassic Wiki.] But lysine is available in all nourishments on the planet.

— George Church, geneticist and manufactured scientist who instructs at Harvard Medical School and helped found the Wyss Institute for Biologically Inspired Engineering. Among his many research activities, Church and his associates at Harvard effectively put wooly mammoth qualities into the genome of an Asian elephant.

I love the special visualizations. I went to see it with my then beau (presently spouse) on the big screen and it truly caught my creative mind. However, even in those days, I realized eradication isn't reversible!

— Dr. Reshma Kewalramani, official VP and boss medicinal official at Vertex Pharmaceuticals

"Star Trek: The Motion Picture" (1979)

Featuring

William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, and DeForest Kelley

IMDB plot outline

At the point when an outsider shuttle of tremendous force is spotted moving toward Earth, Admiral James T. Kirk resumes direction of the upgraded USS Enterprise so as to capture it.

Master reality check

In the old "Star Trek" motion pictures, it used to trouble me a great deal when a character was shot with a phaser. The individual was killed down to their shoes however it left the ground underneath totally immaculate.

— Rep. Bill Foster (D-Ill.), previous physicist

"Episode" (1995)

Featuring

Dustin Hoffman, Rene Russo, and Morgan Freeman

IMDB plot synopsis

Armed force specialists battle to discover a solution for a dangerous infection spreading all through a California town that was brought to America by an African monkey.

Master certainty check

"Episode" was dreadful. How on the planet did they get enough plasma from a solitary monkey to spare a great many individuals from a destructive Ebola-like infection? How is it conceivable the first flare-up in an African town slaughtered, obviously, 100 percent of the populace, but then there were survivors when it arrived at white people in the U.S.A.? … Some fear inspired notions asserting HIV was "made in a CIA lab" refer to that film. It has demonstrated unthinkable, on account of Hollywood, to get the world to comprehend that Richard Nixon shut down the U.S. hostile bioweapons program during the 1970s, and there is no CIA bioengineering mystery lab.

— Laurie Garrett, Pulitzer-prize-winning columnist, creator of "The Coming Plague," and specialist on Steven Soderbergh's 2011 film, "Infection"

The revealed motivation for Dustin Hoffman's character in the motion picture additionally had a few musings.

In all the time I was in the Army or at CDC, we never "nuked" an African town to contain a flare-up. The monkey that carried the sickness from Africa to the U.S. was a capuchin or Cebus monkey, which is a South American animal categories. To spare a town passing on from the illness, they plasmapheresed [Editor's note: removed antibodies from the blood of] said monkey and this around 20-pound monkey yielded a unit of plasma for each inhabitant of the town — a serious accomplishment. The monkey more likely than not been drained a while later.

— Dr. C. J. Subsides, a virologist who took a shot at Ebola and other lethal pathogens at the U.S. Armed force Medical Research Institute of Infectious Diseases and at the CDC

"Frenzy" (2018)

Featuring

Dwayne Johnson, Naomie Harris, Malin Akerman

IMDB plot rundown

At the point when three unique creatures become contaminated with a perilous pathogen, a primatologist and a geneticist collaborate to prevent them from decimating Chicago.

Master certainty check

"Frenzy" messes around with CRISPR quality altering, however makes large, George-sized errors en route. CRISPR could speculatively be utilized to attempt to give animals new highlights like wings, however you'd almost certainly need to begin with one-cell undeveloped organisms. Additionally, even in some popular, weaponized structure making an infectious quality drive, CRISPR couldn't influence the genomes of a sufficiently high level of cells to cause changes in an entire existing creature and it'd to be too moderate a procedure for Hollywood. You'd presumably get a great deal of asymmetry, as well, with the end goal that that wolf beast in the film, for example, could simply have made them wing and flew around and around, or developed that wing out of its nose or butt. An animal growing up mixes of inconsequential attributes like wings and a porcupine tail from CRISPR is much harder to clarify. At long last, the possibility of a cure or on-off switch for quality alters is less absolutely outlandish and the last is really being investigated in the lab, however most likely couldn't influence only one characteristic like hostility and wouldn't take 10 minutes.

— Paul Knoepfler, immature microorganism researchers at the University of California, Davis

Two STAT correspondents additionally went out to see the films to check whether "Frenzy" got the study of CRISPR right. Peruse our audit.

"Skyfall" (2012)

Featuring

Daniel Craig, Javier Bardem, and Naomie Harris

IMDB plot rundown

Bond's dependability to M is tried when her past causes issues down the road for her. When MI6 goes under assault, 007 must find and pulverize the risk, regardless of how close to home the expense.

Master actuality check

The scoundrel in the James Bond motion picture "Skyfall" is a disenthralled previous government agent whose jaw was as far as anyone knows liquefied away by a hydrogen cyanide suicide pill turned sour. With the exception of … hydrogen cyanide is most popular as a toxic gas and hydrocyanic corrosive, from which it very well may be inferred, is less destructive than lemon juice. On the off chance that it was that destructive, it would have liquefied the container itself some time before. I was irritated to such an extent that my child later said he could never go with me to a decent government agent film again.

— Deborah Blum, chief of the Knight Science Journalism program at MIT, writer of "The Poisoner's Handbook" and the up and coming "The Poison Squad"

"Excursion to the Center of the Earth" (1959)

Featuring

James Mason, Pat Boone, Arlene Dahl

IMDB plot outline

An Edinburgh teacher and arranged partners follow an adventurer's path down a wiped out Icelandic fountain of liquid magma to the world's inside.

Master truth check

I still can't seem to experience any individual who has visited the focal point of the earth, cruised an underground ocean in a mushroom vessel, or wellbeing drifted on of magma — or all the more precisely, magma.

— Rep. Michael Burgess (R-Texas), previous specialist

"Disease" (2011)

Featuring

Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, and Jude Law

IMDB plot rundown

Medicinal services experts, government authorities, and ordinary individuals wind up amidst an overall plague as the CDC attempts to discover a fix.

Master Fact-check

From multiple points of view it gets the science right, yet I was struck by the speed by which they made another antibody and spared the world. That is deluding. As we've seen with HIV, Ebola, Zika, jungle fever … making immunizations that are protected and compelling can take quite a while and can be slippery. The quick making of an immunization in "Infection" can add to the bogus desire for what science can do during a general wellbeing emergency.

— Dr. Richard Besser, president and CEO of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and previous acting chief (during the beginning of the H1N1 flu pandemic) of the CDC

"Prometheus" (2012)

Featuring

Noomi Rapace, Logan Marshall-Green, and Michael Fassbender

IMDB plot outline

Following hints to the starting point of humanity, a group finds a structure on a removed moon, yet they before long acknowledge they are not the only one.

Master truth check

I need to state the film that truly irritated me was "Prometheus." The cartographer gets lost promptly, and when the scholar sees an outsider creature he needs to snuggle with it. At that point the entire team just keeps on doing numbskull things to place everybody in harm's way.

[screechinggardenerfire]

ULTIMATE GUIDE: BEST SOFT CLOSE DRAWER SLIDES

The best soft close drawer slides will open easily, close smoothly and be certified for durability. But unfortunately finding a brand name slide that works properly isn’t easy. And, since soft close slides require precision installation, there are a few tools you MUST purchase for proper installation. In this article learn what the best drawer slides are for your projects – and what you need to install them.

First, after building and installing over a thousand drawers, I know drawer slides must be durable and reliable.

First up is understanding what a soft close drawer slide is – and isn’t.

So, as you’d expect, a soft close drawer slide does two things. First, it prevents drawers from slamming through use of a damper that catches the drawer and slows the closing force. Then second, using (preferably) two large springs the soft close mechanism gently pulls the drawer closed.

Is it the same as self closing? No.

But will a quality soft close drawer slide keep most drawers closed? Yes.

BEST DRAWER SLIDES FOR CABINETS AND FURNITURE

As with a lot of hardware, there just isn’t a great variety of choices.

While some top brands like Accuride dominate in self closing under mount slides(that are not soft closing!), they just didn’t perform as well as others.

So, based on my reviews and use, here are the top three choices for your next project.

There’s a reason most cabinets offer undermounts as upgrades: they simply perform better.

Because an undermount drawer slide places the weight of the drawer on horizontal rollers (versus steel ball bearings) the drawer action is SMOOTHER.

For example, the Blum 563H won’t require the hard pull to open like you’d find in a low quality side mount soft close slide. And, since they aren’t metal-on-metal, you’ll find they are quieter as well.

So what’s the catch? You’ll need to make a few custom measurements as these slides don’t use a standard 1/2″ side clearance. Instead, you’ll have a slightly wider drawer and require an extra 1/4″ or so clearance under the drawer to fit the slide.

I was surprised with this drawer slide.

First, they come individually or in packs of 2, 6 and 10 at half the price of most other drawer slides.

And, while they what I consider a “generic” slide as they aren’t from one of the established manufacturers, their construction was TOP NOTCH when stacked up against the other slides.

And, in a brand test, I’ve put these ahead of the well known Accuride as they simply performed better and were surprisingly quieter when opened and closed. As you know, or don’t, that will matter when you first open and close the door as a “clicking and clacking” sound is one of the hallmarks of poor performing ball bearing slides (soft close or standard).

Lastly, with their great bundled price, I’ve also installed these in a recent garage workshop makeover. And after loading one drawer (~15″ x 22″) to capacity with heavy screw boxes it has performed fantastic. I’ve even attempted to slam the drawer and it’s damper has worked each time.

And the Accuride C-3832 drawer slide is a strong competitor.

However, due to price and noise it falls to #4 on the list as it’s performance doesn’t stand out from the competitors to justify it’s hefty price tag.

Curiously, this slide had the #1 issue with side mount ball bearing slides: it opened loud. While most high quality slides have extra “bumpers” to ensure 3 tracks don’t do this my test showed a louder than average click.

However, if you’re an Accuride fan, and want to purchase slides from an industry name, then these slides are something to consider.

For a brand name drawer slide with an industry reputation the Knape & Vogt are an option to the Vadania drawer slides but fall short on closing force. Due to a thinner design (7/16″), single spring design, shorter rail, and among the lowest closing force of all slides I don’t recommend this slide.

Unfortunately, this slide attempted a different soft closing mechanism with a single spring and it just didn’t compare head-to-head to the other slides. For that reason, when searching for the best soft close drawer slides I’d pass on the 8400P.

I am a fan, however, of the Knape and Vogt TruTrac slides for standard duty ball bearing without soft close.

I was expecting great things from these slides but was disappointed. Due to a sloppy rail when opening and the loudest closing noise these slides just didn’t measure up to the others on this list.

The Promark rear mounting brackets, however, were excellent and worked on all the slides I tested. And I particularly liked the extra wide rear width for easy screw hole access.

I know you want to get to the drawer slides.

But, before we do I want to share a few tips on what else to buy.

Or, no matter how good the slide is won’t operate correctly, it might fail later, or you may possibly break it during installation:

Drawer slide jigs are a must to properly align your drawers during installation. Most cost less than 1-2 pairs of slides and the Kreg KHI-SLIDE is most popular.

Rear mount brackets are a must for face frame applications as they make installation faster and improve drawer performance with infinite adjustment. I’ve used the ProMark and Lontan and prefer the ProMark as it has a larger rear screw plate.

Drawer screws sent by most manufacturers are inadequate. So, I use Rok #8 truss head screws in both drawer European slides and soft close cabinet hinges as they have a superior hold.

So, add these 3 to your shopping list and you’ll experience a MUCH SMOOTHER installation.

Don’t want hardware on the front of your drawers?

Well, you’re in luck if you have a frameless design to your cabinets. By adding push to close to an undermount soft close drawer slide you can gently push the drawer front and the drawer will glide partly open.

While these aren’t cheap, you can factor in the savings of not having to purchase additional hardware (and install them).

Who makes these? A few options:

King under mount push to open slides that have this feature built-in

Blum TIP-ON is an accessory to their TANDEM slides that can be added to any compatible drawer to upgrade to push to open.

Heavy Duty Undermount Soft Close Drawer Slides

While heavy duty drawer slides, for me, start around 150 pounds there are a few options for soft close drawer slides at 125 pounds:

Blum heavy duty under mount with 125 pound capacity

SOFT CLOSE DRAWER SLIDE RATINGS

We’ll go through each drawer slide in detail, but after my testing I ranked the slides as follows. A few aren’t easy to find, so I’ve included links for buying now – and most are most economical in a 6 or 10-pack (just divide by quantity to get per unit).

Lastly, don’t forget rear mounting brackets, screws and a drawer slide jig when installing these soft close drawer slides

Drawer slides can be as easy or as hard as you allow them, and it all depends on what type of slide you choose. In this guide we are going to cover the many different types of Drawer slides on the market, the many different ways a slide can be fitted into a cabinet, and then some help tips for you to decide which is the ideal type you need for your application.   This is allot to cover especially when you consider that a drawer slide should be a very simple device to buy and install, but the reality is there are allot of external factors you must consider.

Different types of Drawer Slide

Drawer slides, or as they are sometimes called a drawer rollers, are a type of mechanism that allows smooth linear motion in one axis. They are most commonly used in pairs and found in a huge range of applications, mostly kitchen cabinets. Drawer slides generally work by having one component to slide over a slightly larger or smaller component of equal shape with roller bearings between them to create the smooth rolling function, which allows the entire mechanism to extend or retract. Drawer slides are not motorized but can be if  a linear actuator is attached to provide the hands free motion for you. Generally, you will use drawer slides on their own and will likely encounter only two main types: Ball-Bearing Slides & Roller Slides.

Roller slides consists of two components, the sliding main member strut and the fixed cabinet drawer strut. These types of slides are not fixed together until after you have attached them to both the drawer and the fixed cabinet.  Only then can you slide the drawer into position and they then slide in and out freely.

Each strut having one wheel attached at each end is what allows the slides to run freely but it has its limitations.  Having only onw wheel to carry the load is a huge disadvantage. This means that the load carried by the entire drawer and its contents is all focused onto the one wheel at either side of the cabinet drawer. This point load can be large for cabinets that need to carry more load and will eventually result in failure.   Another thing to note is that the plastic wheels are not mounted onto bearings, they are simply plastic wheels on a metal axel that will eventually cause noise or wear problems at some point during its lifetime. One main advantage of these is that they are very cheap to purchase from any hardware store.

17mm ball bearing slides as you can see from the image above are completely different to Roller slides. These make use of ball bearings encased in a bearing cage so they don't fall out, and some models offer a telescopic motion. By telescopic we mean that the Rails have 3 or more members that once combined together are able to extend the same distance or more than their total closed length. This great use of space is what gives them such a great appeal because the drawers are then able to slide out 100% of the drawers depth in a cabinet, where-as using a roller slide you can typically only achieve around 75% opening.

These types of slide rails offer extreme rigidity of the draw when fully opened or closed and allows them to carry a significant amount of weight. Plus the are easy to install as they have many hole patterns pre drilled along the length of each member for attaching them to both the fixed cabinet and the cabinet drawer. To open the the slides so that they can be installed simply press the lever down to unlock the full extended opening. Please view the video further down this article to see how to do that. Please note however not all Drawer slides come with the lever feature to take apart the drawer slides, all FIRGELLI drawer slides do have this feature however.

Ball-bearing drawer slides provide a huge durability life span and have much larger load rating compared to roller slides. Within our range of Ball Bearing slides we do even offer a very heavy duty type. Click here to view them.  Heavy duty versions of ball-bearing slides

[aion-rsa]

2020: The Year That Changed How We Watch Movies

https://ift.tt/2ZATEMv

Under normal circumstances, it’s easy to get lost in the grind of daily living, missing the forest for the trees. Under normal circumstances, one can be too busy to notice that history is occurring all around them. 2020 was not a normal year.

After nearly 12 months of pandemic and shutdown, social unrest and political upheaval, we are only beginning to understand the ramifications from the year that was. There hasn’t been one facet of our culture that wasn’t dramatically altered by the effects of COVID-19 and the world it wrought. And yes, that includes movies.

When the year began, moviegoers were still going to the last Star Wars movie in theaters to the tune of a billion dollars and looking forward to summer spectacle like Wonder Woman 1984. As 2020 ends, many of those same people are resigned to watch Wonder Woman on HBO Max. What occurred between marks a significant sea change for movies and the audiences who adore them. One that perhaps has changed this relationship forever. Here is a reminder of how.

When Movie Theaters Went Dark

March 17. That was the day movie theaters across the U.S., like European markets before them, began shutting their doors. Regal Cinemas, the second largest movie theater chain in the U.S., and which is owned by the world’s biggest, Cineworld, was the first to announce it would close all North American locations until further notice. Within 24 hours, AMC Theatres and most competitors joined them, with AMC having a particularly rosy outlook when it announced it would only be a 12-week “pause.”

With these events occurring nine months and a lifetime ago, it’s easy to forget how different the motion picture landscape was at the time. The New Year’s moviegoing season had only begun in earnest a few months earlier, with the surprise haul of Will Smith and Martin Lawrence’s Bad Boys for Life in January exceeding all expectations. It grossed $206 million in the U.S. alone.

Indeed, early months saw several blockbusters, as well as excellent smaller films, that are now ending up on end of year lists at an unusually high volume. Jason Blum’s horror factory of Blumhouse Productions released a Universal Monsters reboot that was better than likely anyone could anticipate in The Invisible Man, with Elisabeth Moss delivering a brutal performance that felt rooted in our post-#MeToo world.

Margot Robbie launched her passion project, Birds of Prey (and the rest of its title). And even with its R rating, the Harley Quinn film will ironically remain the highest grossing superhero movie of the year. And first-time director Autumn de Wilde and her star Anya Taylor-Joy found new, pastel-colored life in Jane Austen’s final novel, Emma, by pinpointing the humor and subversive brilliance of the author’s desire to “take a heroine whom no one but myself will much like.” It’s the best period adaptation of that tale to date. Meanwhile in the indie world, Kelly Reichardt delivered another critical darling with the A24 released First Cow.

Those are a few of the early critical successes at the cinemas in 2020—and they remain so, as they were also among the only line-up of movies to be in theaters before the full extent of the pandemic was realized. But even before the stampede to video on demand, there had been a steady drip of movies being delayed as the full danger of the coronavirus pandemic became apparent. First Eon Productions moved the next James Bond picture, No Time to Die, from its nearby April release date to November. Then Universal Pictures followed, delaying F9 a full year.

The drip, drip, drip of delays soon became a flood, with the real tipping point being Paramount Pictures delaying A Quiet Place Part II, indefinitely at first. This was one week from its premiere. In fact, the studio had already done press for the movie, with the film being the last I saw in theaters, as well as the last film I did in-person interviews for (and the first where it was made clear no one would shake hands and there was a bottle of Purell available on every surface). The film was supposed to open on March 18. Instead most movie theaters were closed en masse during that weekend.

VOD Experimentation… and Revolution?

The films already in theaters in mid-March, such as Pixar’s Onward or Warner Brothers’ The Way Back, became the earliest to break the theatrical window and immediately go to VOD. Universal Pictures cracked that glass first with The Invisible Man, Emma., and The Hunt, but that was nothing compared to what they announced next: Trolls World Tour would have an alleged day-and-date release in theaters and on Premium Video on Demand (PVOD). But as theaters were essentially closed, this meant Trolls was the first movie to dismiss its obligations to theatrical exhibitors.

It was not received well within the exhibition industry then, and was treated worse still after NBCUniversal CEO Jeff Shell boasted about the success of pushing the Trolls sequel essentially straight to VOD—where studios keep about 80 percent of grosses, as opposed to somewhere between 40 to 60 percent from a theatrical release. Shell told The Wall Street Journal, “As soon as theaters reopen, we expect to release movies in both formats.”

The news was treated as a threat by AMC Theatres head Adam Aron, who said the largest theater chain in North America was effectively banning Universal Pictures releases in light of Shell’s comments, plus the still sour feelings about Universal putting Trolls 2 on PVOD without consultation with exhibition partners. This was the first public conflict between movie theater owners in dire need of new theatrical content as the pandemic wore on, and the theaters who were wary to provide it. It would not be the last.

Universal and AMC eventually patched things up, agreeing to create a historic model where Universal would keep new releases in AMC Theatres for 17 days (so about three weekend cycles), and then decide afterward whether it made better sense to leave new releases in theaters or to move them straight to PVOD, where AMC would earn an undisclosed portion of the revenue. Where this left AMC Theatres’ competitors is still an open question, but the compromise would look quaint with what was to come.

For while the Universal-AMC drama unfurled, more and more films, both studio efforts and independent releases, were jumping to PVOD or alternative forms of streaming. Universal tested the waters again with the Pete Davidson-led The King of Staten Island while Warner Bros. also gave PVOD a try with a major release via Scoob!

Read more

Movies

Hamilton: The Real History of the Burr-Hamilton Duel

By David Crow

Movies

What Hamilton Doesn’t Say About His Real History with Slavery

By David Crow

Perhaps most presciently though was Disney releasing Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton movie straight to Disney+ for the Fourth of July. Technically an edited together version of several 2016 performances of the original Hamilton cast on Broadway, the “movie” was intended to be a special theatrical event released in theaters by Disney in October 2021. And the Mouse House paid a staggering $75 million for the distribution rights to the film.

With its early streaming release, Disney was now effectively using Hamilton as a loss leader for its fledgling streaming service in need of new content. It was a massive success for the Mouse, and Hamilton became one of the most talked about cultural cinematic events of the year, even if it was technically a piece of theater released to streaming. According to Variety and ScreenEngine/ASI, Hamilton was the most watched movie streaming event of the year.

As a harbinger of things to come, Disney continued to build its streaming service’s reputation, and the loyalty of its hastily growing subscriber base by releasing one of the most anticipated theatrical projects for next year.

As such, Disney (plus Miranda’s genius) dominated the cultural landscape in July with a reawakened interest in the legacy of a musical written in the Obama era about the Founding Fathers, but cast with diverse, multicultural talent. Premiering last summer when statues of Founding Fathers (among more deserving historic figures) were being torn down, Hamilton put Disney in the center of the “discourse” occurring in the zeitgeist. The company wouldn’t soon leave.

Tenet and Mulan: A Tale of Two Release Models

As a shutdown spring dragged into a grim summer, and U.S. Congressional leadership balked at the urgent need for a second round of stimulus in a desperate economy, questions began to arise about just how long movie theaters would be closed. In April alone, S&P downgraded AMC Theatres’ credit rating and suggested the theater chain was unlikely to survive if its doors remained shuttered past June.

While AMC and others did, in fact, struggle on, survival was not easy. As infection rates slowly descended in the summer, and more folks began dining inside and outside of restaurants, many in the exhibition industry took it as a sign moviegoers could also return to theaters with proper safety precautions. And at least one major filmmaker and studio agreed with them: Christopher Nolan at WB. The singular filmmaker behind The Dark Knight trilogy and Inception had a new sci-fi action movie epic slated for July 17, 2020, and while all of its competitors abandoned the summer, Tenet would not.

Viewing cinemas as “a vital part of our social life,” Nolan wagered audiences would return in smaller but steady numbers if studios would just give movie theaters content to release again. And after reluctantly agreeing with WB to delay Tenet several times, first a few weeks in July and then more weeks in August, he convinced WB to experiment with bringing movie theaters back: Tenet would open in European and Asian markets on Aug. 26, and then open in “select” U.S. cities on Sept. 3, ahead of the U.S. Labor Day weekend.

It was a monumental gamble intended to give refuge to movie theater owners, and the rest of the industry looked on. Even several other films kept adjusting their release dates around Tenet’s moves, from the B-thriller Unhinged with Russell Crowe, to Disney dumping The New Mutants into theaters a week before Tenet’s U.S. debut. Those movies floundered, but Tenet would be different, right?

Well one competitor who moved in unison with Tenet didn’t think so… Disney’s own controversial blockbuster, Mulan, was scheduled to open in theaters one week after Tenet in July—having moved off its original March 2020 release date due to the pandemic—and then was taken off the release calendar again following Tenet’s delay to August. Then Disney offered an alternative: they would release Mulan as a PVOD on Disney+ one day after Tenet’s U.S. opening.

That’s right, Disney was asking people already paying to subscribe to Disney+ to pay an added premium of $30 to access Mulan—about $10 more than all the other PVOD experiments by competitors earlier in the summer and spring. They also were offering a dueling vision for how to handle the pandemic on the same holiday weekend as Tenet.

It turned out to be a disappointing holiday, indeed. After the weekend was over, WB curtly announced the movie grossed $20 million during its opening weekend. However, that number turned out to include up to $10 million worth of preview screenings throughout the country from the previous weekend, as well as its earlier release in Canada.

Read more

Movies

Tenet Ending Explained

By Chris Farnell

Movies

The Many Obstacles of Mulan

By Gene Ching

It was a meager debut for a movie that would go on to do okay business in Europe and Asia, but gross only an anemic $57.8 million in the U.S. Its failure was due in part to the United States’ biggest markets, New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and more, remaining closed for its entire run. It also was a result of theaters’ health precautions only allowing most auditoriums to run at a third capacity or less.

More importantly, it was a result of audiences still by and large balking at going back to movie theaters in the midst of a pandemic. Shocking, eh? Even before Tenet’s second weekend, the rest of Hollywood was flinching, delaying its fall schedule into 2021. Black Widow moved again, as did Candyman, and No Time to Die… and WB delayed Wonder Woman 1984 for the second time, from October to Christmas Day.

Meanwhile as a benefit of relying on their own streaming service, Disney has not disclosed its grosses from Mulan’s “Premier Access” experiment. The movie seemed to have a muted reception, perhaps because of the film’s exclusionary price tag for many consumers, and perhaps because of the many problems dogging that production. But Disney was clearly happy enough with the result, as they’ve announced they’re trying Premier Access again next year with the rare thing: an original movie titled Raya and the Last Dragon.

The Awards Season Push

As 2020 concludes, it’s left what once was the height of awards season in a strange, muted place. As early as June, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences began facing the new reality by delaying next year’s ceremony from February to April 25, 2021. Additionally, instead of needing to open in 2020, films released as late as Feb. 28, 2021 are eligible for consideration in all categories.

Perhaps more significantly though, the Academy’s Board of Governors ruled films initially intended for theatrical release but released on VOD, streaming, or other means, including drive-ins, will now be eligible for consideration. Tellingly, this rule is intended to only pertain to 2020 (and early 2021), but it’ll be interesting to see if the Academy can put that genie back in its bottle. Firstly, because with a few notable exceptions, like Searchlight Pictures and Chloé Zhao’s beautiful Nomadland, many of the “big” studio awards contenders, like Steven Spielberg’s remake of West Side Story, have abandoned 2020. As a consequence, what’s left of 2020’s movie calendar was dominated, both in the public and critics’ imagination, by streaming services.

Indeed, Netflix has developed a murderer’s row of awards friendly contenders, including Aaron Sorkin’s The Trial of the Chicago 7, David Fincher’s Mank, Spike Lee’s Da 5 Bloods, and Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, the latter of which features the final performance of Chadwick Boseman, which unto itself has generated awards chatter.

Read more

Movies

Mank and Amanda Seyfried’s Quest to Save Marion Davies from Citizen Kane

By David Crow

Movies

Toronto International Film Festival 2020 Movie Round-Up

By David Crow

Amazon, meanwhile, is releasing Regina King’s stirring directorial debut, One Night in Miami, and previously dropped the underrated little character study, Uncle Frank. And even Amazon’s Borat 2 is an award contender for the supporting performance of Maria Bakalova. To put that into perspective for a moment, a sequel to one of the raunchiest comedies of the 2000s had its premiere on streaming… and is now an Oscar contender.

The times they are a-changin’.

The Next Wave of Movies

But even as the future of 2021’s film slate—much of it composed of movies originally intended for 2020—remains ambiguous, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel as the industry resumes production on films big and small.

Not surprisingly, it was a major studio tentpole, the type that underwrites the rest of a studio’s fiscal year, which was the first to go back to work. Universal Pictures led the way again with Jurassic World: Dominion, the third film in the Jurassic World trilogy, and sixth Jurassic Park movie. Universal is bringing back major cast members from the recent movies and the original, and as director Colin Trevorrow started filming again, the company released detailed safety guidelines for how to keep the cast and crew safe. They’ve since opened the production up to the gaze of the New York Times. “We are the guinea pigs,” star Bryce Dallas Howard told the paper of record.

They would not be the last. Ridley Scott resumed production on his medieval epic The Last Duel, with Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, and Adam Driver; Guillermo del Toro finally got to finish his Nightmare Alley with Bradley Cooper and Cate Blanchett; and Robert Eggers traded in lighthouses for Vikings with The Northman. But it hasn’t been perfect.

Infamously, WB’s The Batman had to shut down production again (for the second time after a spring pause) when star Robert Pattinson tested positive for COVID-19. And Anthony Mackie got candid about filming during a pandemic with Entertainment Tonight.

Talking about the safety measures on the resumed production of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Mackie said, “Everybody’s very afraid of each other. The food is bad because they have to pack it up somewhere else and bring it to us in Ziploc bags. Yeah, it’s awful. You’re literally living in quarantine.”

Read more

Movies

Jurassic World 3 Story Being Adapted to Reflect Post-2020 Landscape

By Kirsten Howard

Movies

The Batman: Robert Pattinson Returns to Set in New Images

By Kirsten Howard

But it’s keeping folks employed and the industry rearing up for a post-pandemic life. It’s maybe for that reason Tom Cruise made headlines when audio leaked of him chastising crew members on the currently filming Mission: Impossible 7.

“I’m on the phone with every fucking studio at night, insurance companies, producers, and they’re looking at us and using us to make their movies.” The show must go on, even if it hardly sounds like an opening night gala….

Did HBO Max Change the Game or Forfeit It?

When Warner Bros. announced in November that Wonder Woman 1984 was going to premiere day-and-date in theaters and on HBO Max, everyone in the industry took a deep breath. Obviously, this wasn’t a unique development. Disney tested these waters with Hamilton and Mulan, and this month’s Soul on Disney+. The more the merrier, right?

… And yet, it was the first time a studio placed its biggest tentpole of the year on streaming. Universal might’ve been the first to break the theatrical window, but that studio likewise made sure to move F9 a full year to hopefully keep its theatrical window safe. Still, director Patty Jenkins and star Gal Gadot accepted the Wonder Woman arrangement (as well as a rumored $10 million each, a consolation prize for losing gains from profit participation backend deals), and exhibitors were notified about WarnerMedia’s decision.

They were not on the next one. WarnerMedia’s bold choice to release WB’s entire film slate of 17 movies on HBO Max went off in the industry like an atom bomb. More troubling still, no one who worked on those movies, from talent to producing partners, were notified about a decision that could have unforeseen and extensive economic ramifications.

Nolan, the filmmaker who convinced WB to release Tenet in theaters, was shockingly blunt and uncharitable to the studio that was loyal to him for nearly 20 years. He called HBO Max “the worst streaming service,” which is flatly untrue to any cinephile who’s ever used it. However, the auteur made a better point about the hidden economic problems in the move.

In a more recent interview with NPR, Nolan better articulated, “The economics of it are unsound unless you’re purely looking at movements in share price, number of eyeballs on the new streaming service. Theatrical is really only one part of what we’re talking about here. You’re talking about home video window, your secondary, tertiary windows. These are things very important to the economics of the business and the people who work in the business.”

This is in line with what director Judd Apatow said separately to Variety, highlighting how the decision hurts people below the line, and just not stars and filmmakers with profit participation deals.

“It creates a financial nightmare, because most people are paid residuals – they’re paid back-end points,” Apatow said. “What they get out of it for years and years of hard work is usually based on the success of their films. And so now what does it mean to have a movie go straight to streaming? How do they decide what to pay you? Do you even have a contract that allows you to negotiate, or is it really just up to them at this point? It raises thousands of questions, which I’m sure are very complicated.”

It’s also why Denis Villeneuve, director of one of WB’s most anticipated new movies, Dune, penned a passionate essay in Variety, saying AT&T “hijacked” WB, and has no love for cinema or audiences. He outright states AT&T CEO John Stankey has led the horse (Dune) to “the slaughterhouse.”

Is that sound and fury against the inevitable changing realities of the industry, or justified anger at a panicked reaction to the COVID-19 pandemic—and more acutely HBO Max’s poor streaming launch?

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Movies

What Alejandro Jodorowsky Thinks of the New Dune Trailer

By Mike Cecchini and 1 other

Movies

How Patty Jenkins Steered the Wonder Woman 1984 Ship

By Delia Harrington and 1 other

It’s hard to say at the moment, but it’s clear that WB’s fire sale approach of all or nothing to subsidize HBO Max’s poor performance is burning bridges in the industry, with Wonder Woman director Jenkins moving to Disney for the next Star Wars movie, Rogue Squadron, while entertaining the idea in the press of starting a United Artists-like studio with other filmmakers who still believe in the theatrical experience. And most persuasively, Disney, the Big Five studio best positioned to go all-in on streaming, is leaving its biggest 2021 blockbuster, Black Widow, slated for theaters even as it moves smaller efforts to Disney+.

The future isn’t written, and while the theatrical window apparently has been shattered, it may not be beyond some state of repair, even if it never quite resembles what it once was. These will also be lingering questions that will hang over cinema as 2020’s cold grip is finally shaken off.

Will 2021 be that different, for motion pictures and the world at large, from the chaotic upheaval of 2020? Only time will tell, but it’s worth remembering that if 2020 changed the future of moviemaking, at least 2021 promises a chance to embrace that future by turning the page on all the anxiety and uncertainty that defined this year’s biggest changes to the cinema.

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