#bob hale

[battle-of-the-bobs]

Finals / Match 62

[phicicle]

Bobsee

hhhhhhhhhh more gifs… eat up everybody.

[overyonder]

Me and my friends are doing a PowerPoint night... there's no way I'm not introducing it like bob hale. You can't stop me.

(Also the PowerPoint is on yonderland, 100%)

[templetv]

feeling eughhh !

[photo-of-larry-everyday]

[skullmakesmelaugh]

-and then they find the source and the ghost disappears and they all go home to have tea and donuts and everything’s going well….

[captain-rickbond]

Bob W. Hale

[nortism]

he’s done so much for the children with undiagnosed adhd community

[natequarter]

bob hale 🤝 philomena cunk

"edward vi died of old age at fifteen"

[lazbotronence]

[tea-puf]

They’re training him lol.

Bonus

A very disappointed bobsey

[battle-of-the-bobs]

Winner of the 2023 Bob tournament:

BOB HALE FROM HORRIBLE HISTORIES!!!!

Thank you all so much for the votes and participation! I’ve had so much fun running this tournament

[devilish-parrot]

i love bob hale i wish weather was real

[tuff3artstuff]

[photo-of-larry-everyday]

[doueverwonder]

Heam is enabling me; (i lied i can't remember Sam's part 😭)

warning now long post

WELL SAM it's 400 AD and that right there is Britain! and here comes the king! in a bedsheet! Haha no really that's the roman emperor because Britain is under Roman rule as it has been for over 350 years! But all that is about to change because in 410 the unthinkable happens!

so unthinkable I can't think of it now what was it hmmmmmmmm OH

THE ROMAN EMPIRE CRUMBLES! And the romans leave Britain with the immortal line

"don't forget to put out the cat"

or something like that

and that's when the problems really start! with the Romans gone the picts from up in Scotland invade england, so Vortigern king of the Britons hires a load of warriors from Germany & Denmark--places over there--and with them come two chaps named Hengist and Horsa, and they like Britain so much they'd quite like to keep a piece of it. Luckily for them Hengist has a beautiful daughter and in the weirdest deals in the whole of history he gives Vortigern his daughters hand in marriage for Kent!

yep Kent.

And that's just the start of it. Soon seeing how easy it is to get your hands on English lands there are Danes and Germans everywhere! German invaders from the district of Angle take over the east and the midlands while invaders from Saxony take over large chunks of the south, yes that's right England is now overrun with ANGLES and SAXONS making it officially ANGLO-SAXON.

and u thought we just made that term up

And there you have it that's it

end of the story

end of the line

end of the pier

last dance

last chance

lights off

cats out

done.

BUT NOT FOR LONG

under anglo-saxon rule Britain changes shape entirely, though obviously not around the edges. Inside though it's all different as the invaders shape their new lands into seven major kingdoms; places like

Essex

Wessex

Sussex

and so on

But it's not all playing fairly for the Anglo-Saxons because they can't conquer Scotland for toffee!

which is a shame because Scotland's got great toffee

Meanwhile on the other side they aren't too happy about the new neighbors, so much so that king arthur of Mercia

an Anglo-Saxon kingdom shown here in puce whatever color that is

digs a trench separating the west of Britain from the rest of Britain, creating the border for what we now call Wales! Sounds fair! we now have Scotland, Wales, Anglo-Saxon England all living in perfect harmony bar a little name calling and the odd local war.

BUT NOT FOR LONG

YES FOLKS IT'S 865 AND LOCK UP YOUR MONOSTARY BECAUSE

HERE COME THE VIKINGS

In no time at all they take over every major anglo-saxon kingdom except for this one, Wessex, home of Alfred the great

who clearly has a high opinion of himself

And for good reason, because Alfie and his family manage to hold off the vikings!

BUT NOT FOR LONG--well, actually it's for quite awhile but that's not the point. No Eventually Æthelred the unready becomes king and gets so sick of the constant viking attacks

that he's presumably never ready for

that he decides to kill every viking in England, including the king of Norway's sister; which unsurprisingly doesn't go down too well with the king of Norway. Who prompltly Invades England, takes Æthelred's crown and is the first in the line of viking kings!

There's Cnut!

There's Harthacnut!

There's a quarter of a Cnut!

Though not that last one!

and this goes on until 1042 when an englishman gets the crown again

WHOO it's

Edward the Confessor

and then he goes and dies BOO

and three differnt people try to claim the thrown, an Englishman, a Norman, and a Viking

which sounds like the beginning of a joke but really isnt.

Especially when the englishman, Harald Godwinson, takes the throne and is immediatly set upon by the other two! While holding off the viking one up here, the norman one--a certain William the bastard conqueror invades down here

yes folks it's 1066 and the battle of hastings! Which signals not only the end of Harald but also the end of the Anglo-Saxon Era all together

THE END OF THE PIER

THE END OF THE LINE

THE END OF THE ROAD

THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT

and unless i calm down soon it might as well be

THE END OF DEAR OLD BOB HALE

OH IT'S TOO LATE IT'S HAPPENED

It's just heartburn, false alarm, it's just heartburn.

back to you Sam.