#brain damage representation

[cripplecharacters]

Hi, I love the blog and everything you guys do. In my WIP, one of my characters experiences hearing loss in one ear thanks to a head injury. I was wondering how this might effect him going on and what are some difficulties he might face with this new situation.

Hello,

This is pretty broad, and I'm going to explain why

So, one thing you might want to consider is how small the auditory cortex is;

Most of it is actually inside of the brain- the red bit in the diagram, the secondary auditory cortex, is the only part of the auditory cortex on the surface of the brain. Here's a diagram of how deep the auditory cortex goes;

So, damaging that in the right way to cause permanent complete hearing loss would require a decently deep concussion, and that would probably also impact the surrounding temporal lobe unless the injury was sharp-force, penetrating trauma (a stab to the side of the head) rather than blunt-force and/or nonpenetrating trauma (a knock to the head that didn't cause laceration in his brain.) If the impact is deep enough to affect the red region, that's a severe traumatic brain injury and it can very easily be enough to kill him. For exactly how an injury to any part of the auditory cortex would impact hearing, I would need to refer you to the Wikipedia page, because you're getting into neuroscience.

Actually, considering where the auditory cortex is, right in the middle of the temporal, frontal, and parietal lobe, a blunt-force brain injury could lead to a complex traumatic brain injury, one that could very easily affect three of the four major lobes of the brain. Based on the surface size, depth, severity, and type of traumatic injury, there are hundreds of possible complications. I would recommend also looking into the areas that surround the auditory cortex and the symptoms caused by injuries to those areas, unless you're going to go with sharp-force penetrating trauma.

Deafness from brain injury is extremely rare due to how small the auditory cortex is and how little of it is on the surface of the brain. Unless you plan on having them stabbed in the side of the head and miraculously surviving with only damage to the auditory cortex, I'd advise going with an injury to the inner ear, such as a burst eardrum. or a bad injury to the hammer, anvil, stirrup, or cochlea.

Mod Aaron

[sheila--e]

Girl who is discovering she likes women

[barbreypilled]

anyway now I want to make one of these

ugly ass things for my novel I think that would be so funny

[fill-me-with-dirt]

Saw some old postal promotion on tiktok and literally started fucking stimming I love that game so much. Need to play it soon

[notcruvusmemes]

I need more people in the world to have listened to the Five-Minute Sherlock audiobooks. They are absolute gems, with hilarious and heartfelt writing, complex characters, and a fantastic audiobook narrator, but I can't find any posts about them on Tumblr, and they don't even have any fanworks on AO3 (and long story short, I've lost a lot of my capability to write anything longer than a few paragraphs in the past couple years, so idk if I can contribute). Then again, maybe I'll take that as a challenge to write a one-shot. Maybe it's time to get out my crochet project and put on The Case of the Damaged Detective in the background...

[websitestar]

hey sorry ik this is such a random thing to say rn and this isnt directed at anyone bc it hasnt happened, but if i see a disabled character (ie: mituna, tavros, etc) and hes specifically being written to be able bodied? im not following you

[splatfest]

18, 20, 23 (Music asks) <3

from the year that you were born (2002):

+ headfirst for halos - my chemical romance + the fix is in - ok go

that has many meanings to you:

+ cable through your heart - bryan scary

that you think everyone should listen to:

+ sad boys - dazey and the scouts + saturdays for the boys (saturdays for the boys) - 1 trait danger

[oceantornadoo]

sex pollen f!reader with ex-husband john price

it was your last mission with him. the ink on the divorce papers had dried, been filed away and fully set. his things out of your shared house, shipped off to an apartment address you tried not to memorize. unfortunately, the mission required both of your unique skillsets, and although kate promised she'd try to separate the two of you, the mission came first. it always did.

"clear." you finished exploring the abandoned lab for hostiles, now focusing on finding the hard drive you'd been sent for. "should be on bottom drawer of-" "i know, john." it was completely inappropriate to address him like that, ignorant of any call sign, but he'd put on his nagging tone and really, you couldn't be bothered. that's what you told yourself later on, why you missed the blinking red sensor as you tugged the hard drive out of its hiding spot - too preoccupied with your ex-husband, the whole reason you didn't want to be on a mission with him. it was only when you heard the click, unnoticeable to the untrained ear, you realized you'd gone wrong.

"shi-" you were cut off with a blast of yellow powder to the face, the force of it knocking you to the ground. you fumbled for your comms, hands unsteady in the face of your lack of attention. "im hit, some sort of powder. bioweapon? in the control room." john was there in seconds, craddling your head like you were something precious and not a representation of his failed marriage. "'s it hurt, love? c'mere, let's get you up." he pulled you into a sitting position, wiping the powder off your eyes with gloved hands. miraculously, you felt fine, more embarrassed than anything. the powder clogged your airways but you didn't feel any damage, no signs of poison. "she's fine, bit woozy. can y' check wha' it was, watcher? sendin' a picture of the cannister over." he helped you stand, hands checking you over with too much familiarity. you almost flinched at it before remembering he was helping you. his touch was warm and unyielding, like it used to be. it sent an unusual tingle down your spine, which you smartly ignored.

"let's get ya t' the safehouse. need a shower, sweetheart." he was being overly nice as he escorted you there, nothing like the cold captain you were used to. his voice dripped like honey down your throat and an unfamiliar rush of something ran through your body. his presence was all-consuming and you needed to get away. you entered the nearby house - a one bedroom modern cabin, surprisingly nice - and immediately headed towards the bathroom, locking yourself inside. you quickly stripped down out of your gear, washing the powder off your face and clearing your vision. you took a look at yourself in the mirror: face flushed, pupils wide, beads of sweat forming on your forehead. unbelievably, the sight sent a spark to your core. you looked downwards, noting the wet spot on your underwear. it happened sometime in between john's hands checking you over and his gruff voice in your ear. two fingers dipped down between your folds, and you withdrew them to see gleaming wetness, the type you only got when you were ovulating.

shaking it off, you decided to take a shower. the water was thankfully warm as you stepped into it, letting the remaining powder and grime of the mission wash off you. you turned to face the water stream and sighed as it hit your tits almost perfectly. despite the heat, your nipples were hard and achy, the water stimulating them more and more. you weren't usually this sensitive, most times needing a while to get this horny. as if guided by a mysterious force, you detached the showerhead and ran it along your body. it was warm and comforting and hot, temporarily relieving you of your bodily ache. you brought it down towards your aching cunt, other hand grabbing your breast harshly. your core tightened quickly, your brain sending an image of john's concerned hands on your waist, the gentleness of his touch. it was the quickest orgasm of your life - two minutes and you were whining into your fist. of course, the ears of john price missed nothing.

john swore he didn't mean to. he'd been trying to obey these walls you put up, this divorce you made him agree to, your coldness on missions. anything to keep you in his life somehow, to show that he could be good. but really, moaning in the bathroom attached to the bedroom he was currently pacing in? remembering the way your pupils blow wide when you come, the frazzled expression you give on the come down. it was starting to fuck with his head, especially as he heard the shower turn off. suddenly, john remembered all you had were your pollen-dusted clothes and there wasn't anything in the safehouse, all moth-bitten and dusty fabric. without thinking, john took off his tac vest and the shirt underneath it. he approached the door with caution, knocking hesitantly. "love? got you a shirt if y' need it?"

the bathroom door opened with a blast of hot air, the steam beading on your forehead and dripping down your extremely naked body. one he hadn't seen in months since you started keeping yourself from him. "sweetheart." you shook your head wordlessly. "it hurts, john." it came out in a whine as you walked closer to him, eyes scanning his naked torso. "what hurts, baby?" you almost whimpered at his tone, the yearning behind him. in a move that was uncharacteristic of your usual dynamic, you backed him into the bed, letting his knees hit the mattress until he was sitting, a wide-open lap for you. "everything. 'm so sensitive." you practically moaned the last part as you stepped up to straddle him, naked cunt settling directly on the rough fabric of his cargos. you were seeping wetness, could feel it staining his pants as you held john's confused gaze.

"'s the drug, sweetheart. y' don't really want this." you shook your head again. he wasn't getting it, this deep-rooted need for him in your bones. john's hands, shaking by the looks of it, came to rest on your waist, which simply wouldn't do. quickly, you snatched a calloused paw and dragged it down to your slick, moving his fingers through your folds for him. he let out a content growl, pressing his palm against your clit harshly. your body was on fire, flames licking everywhere. just so sensitive, every touch amplified tenfold. he was all you could think, smell, see: strong, capable, wanting. your hips bucked against his palm, moving with ease through your wetness. "been wanting you for ages, john. 's not the drug."

sometimes, john wished he was a better man. this was not one of those times. a better man would take you off his lap and lock himself in another room. instead, john followed the rhythm of your hips, letting you grind your puffy clit against his weathered palm. your pants were loud, unbidden, and he could feel your orgasm approaching, the fastest it had ever come. "gonna come so fast, wife?" you nodded, closing your hands as you rode him faster, sounds of your slick growing louder. "not your wife, john." suddenly, just as you felt the start of your orgasm, he took his palm away, fiery eyes lit with contention. "only my wife gets to come." you frowned at that. "you won't help me?" he didn't answer, instead tugging down his stained cargos and pulling out his cock. you bit your lip at the sight - it had been so long since you'd seen it. girthy and veined, perfect to fill the aching inside of you. john gave it a few pumps with the hand that had been getting you off, your residue wetness the perfect lube for him. "say it and i'll let you sit on my lap."

that's when you noticed, conveniently, that he still had his wedding ring on. it had been gliding through your folds but you'd been too fucked out to notice. your orgasm was still fluttering in your stomach, sustained by the sight of him fucking his fist. "c'mere, wife. say it." john's brows were furrowed, eyes a dark blue you'd only seen in the times after kitchen arguments and messy fights. something about the rawness of his expression hit your heart where it ached. a lonely gap only he could fill. "fine." you stalked over from where you'd been standing. he moved further back on the bed, shucking off his pants so he could move his hips better. "fuck me, husband." straddling him again, this time with your hands on his shoulder, you sheathed yourself on his cock in one swift movement, sliding down easily. your clit was so sensitive, inner walls begging for friction, that the moment you gave him an experimental grind, you came, harder than you ever had in your life.

"cunny so needy, huh baby?" john took to your hips, fucking you on his lap as rode out your orgasm. you nodded, pushing closer until your hardened nipples scrapped his chest hair, your head tucked into the crook of his neck. "john, they hurt." one hand left you to cup your breast, his fingers squeezing and pulling. any other time and the movement would have left you pushing him off, but you could only moan loudly, pleading for him to continue. he knew the perfect angle, knew to move somewhere between a grind back and forth while fucking you up and down, perfectly hitting your clit every time. a coil grew in your stomach, emboldened by the manly scent of his musk, the grunts pouring out of his mouth. "john, john. need to come." he tweaked your nipple harder, like he was experimenting with how far he could go, how much pain the drug would cover. "beg me, wife."

the world spun as he flipped you on your back, gathering your wrists in a strong grip as his other hand made his way to your neck, squeezing softly. his thrusts were more controlled now, his weight pushing you into the mattress, like you couldn't ever leave. "go'on. you know what to say." his possessiveness bled through his words, his grip bruising and definitely marking you. you couldn't seem to care, too wrapped up in the way he immediately took charge of your needs. "please, husband. john. need to come." his grin was disarming, charming beard counteracting his feral smirk. the hand left your jaw to squeeze your nipples, then moved to your clit, puffy and needy. he rubbed it once, twice, three times, whispering "then come, sweetheart," as the coil in your belly finally snapped. he came undone at the feeling, your walls clenching to hold his cock in as he pumped more cum into you.

you'd missed exfil, actually. two days, forty-eight hours, of nonstop fucking the drug out of you. bent over the arm of the singular couch in the living room. bruises on your ass when you got bratty about his recovery time. hickies on your neck, tits, thighs. pretty sure you'd left the cabin devoid of water when john used the detachable shower head for an hour until your poor cunny was raw and overstimulated. then he put you on your knees and well, that was the only break you needed.

in between mandatory naps, you felt the drug wear off. that confidence draining slightly, your slick dying down. you turned to john, naked and knocked out next to you, and ran your hands through his beard until he woke. blue eyes fluttering, trying to figure out if you wanted another round. "let's go home, john." the sultry tone was gone from your voice but somehow, you looked at him with just the same amount of affection. "alrigh' sweetheart, let's go home."

--

MORE JOHN PRICE

sex pollen solves all marital problems! sorry this took so long, i was too sad to write smut.

[cellar-whales]

[ID: Tags saying "# not to project # but have we considered Siffrin thinking he's zoning out # when he's just having. prolonged absence seizures. End ID.]

i think more people should consider seizure-prone/epileptic post-canon siffrin

[cripplecharacters]

Hi! I'm writing a character who experienced a severe TBI in the past. Her main character arc is about learning that people who will support and accomodate her are out there. I based it on my own disability journey of finally finding people who accepted me and took my needs seriously.

However, I don't personally have a TBI - I am disabled in other ways. I wanted to ask - are there any notable tropes or writing pitfalls I should be aware of with a character like this? I want to be careful with this subject matter.

Hello,

The biggest pitfall is the people who don't do research on the brain and wind up giving their character symptoms that make no sense. The brain is an extremely complex organ made of a bunch of tiny parts that all do different things. Damage to one thing causes one symptom, damage to another thing causes another symptom. Usually, with a brain injury, those two things that were damaged are right next to each other or, if the brain got jarred particularly bad, on opposite-ish sides of the brain (though that second option will lead to far more than two damaged cortexi.) I'm going to get into something called neuroanatomy, the study of the structure of the brain and what little areas control what plus where everything is positioned.

Let's say we have damage to the auditory cortex on the left side of the brain. This would usually also come with damage to the limbic system region, Wiernicke's Area, the superior temporal gyrus, and possibly the middle temporal gyrus, which are all immediately next to the auditory cortex at least on the left side of the brain. But the character won't have symptoms that indicate damage to those areas, they'll have symptoms that indicate damage to the very front of the frontal lobe. And there will be no symptoms associated with damage to the areas around the area they damaged. Getting hurt like this, damage to these two general areas, is possible if you get hit in the right way, but there would be damage to the areas around the area they've affected, even if they managed to get stabbed through the head and create sharp-force trauma to these two areas (an injury that would probably be lethal unless you're going for Phineas Gage.) That's one of the biggest pitfalls here- not doing research. Is the average reader going to notice this? No, probably not. But it's still poorly-thought-out representation even if no one catches it. I know this research is going to be complicated because the brain is extremely complicated, but at the very least learn the general lobe where the damage is located and stick to symptoms related to injuries to that lobe. Do not WebMD this, WebMD has symptoms associated with damage to a bunch of different areas to the brain and if you give the characters all of those symptoms, unless they managed to get hit so that their brain literally rolled across the inside of their skull (I've no idea if that could be surviveable,) that's super unrealistic.

The evil person who becomes evil for TBI reasons is another trope that's frustratingly prevalent. They get knocked on the head and now they're evil and start doing villain things they never would have done before the knock on the head. Look, massive personality changes and mood swings can be part of a TBI, but doing them in the way this trope does is both insensitive to the few cases that are this extreme and often unrealistic, as a pacifist getting hit on the head and suddenly becoming a spree killer is almost always (I want to say 97% at least but there's no actually research there so take my opinion with a grain of salt) unrealistic and harmful to people who actually have TBIs. At least it's definitely always harmful.

The grief trope, which has been discussed ad nauseam on this blog for all kinds of disabilities, is also something to be avoided. Is this something that happens? Yes, absolutely, it'll happen for pretty much everyone who remembers the "before" time, the time before their injury (not everyone can, either due to the trauma or because they, like me, were too young to remember the time before their TBI,) but it's hard to do respectfully and gently and I'd prefer if this topic was only approached by people who've actually been through this process. If you absolutely need to include the aftermath of the TBI and you can't avoid writing the grief, get a sensitivity reader with a TBI, maybe a few, read our experiences, ask us a lot of questions, and be open to critique from people who've actually gone through this. Usually, writers approaching the TBI grief plot don't bother. Please, please bother.

Please do not treat our existence as a tragedy. You have no idea how many times people have told me they would rather die than live like me the second I say I have a TBI, and the tragedy trope plays a significant part in that. Yes, our lives can be hard. Often, our lives are definitely hard. But our lives are not tragic and should not be treated as such. They're our lives. We have sorrows and joy as everyone does, the fact that we have a TBI does not mean that our sorrows are a tragedy. Yes, there are people with TBIs who do feel that their lives are a tragedy. That does not mean this trope is something that should be done by someone without a TBI.

And please just make sure to write Character with a TBI, not TBI. You are not writing the traumatic brain injury, you are writing a character with a traumatic brain injury. She should have likes, dislikes, hobbies, interests, friends, enemies, a personality- don't get so wrapped up in writing the TBI that you forget to make her an actual character. People with TBIs are more than just our brain injury, we are people. That's a surprisingly big pitfall, people taking the person part out of disabled person. Don't do that.

Mod Aaron

[mossy-rainfrog]

[ID: Several drawings of John Doe as a human in various poses, alongside his original form. More detailed ID in ALT text.]

HELLO TUMBLR COMMUNITY I have finally been bitten by human John Doe malevolent and yeah ok. I understand the fever. this is my boy. Please enjoy John Doe in the flesh💛💛

OK, now to explain my choices for his hair/scarf:

IRL I have a very gnarly case of trichotillomania, an OCD-adjacent disorder that results in compulsive hair-pulling and (with enough time) can give you some very noticeable bald spots. Recently I've been getting really into veiling and scarves because not only do they help hide such spots, but they prevent me from doing any further damage as well.

Initially I was just giving John the scarf because it mimics the cloak well (and also @orderforbrian 's John rocks a similar one), but because trich, balding, and etc are all such under-represented and stigmatized traits, I started really getting emotionally connected to the idea of giving a John hair like mine. This now means the world to me.

So, when John's horns came in, and his scalp split to admit them, he was itching and picking at it for days until it became what you see here. I dunno if his hair stays like that forever, but hey, I love a self destructive baddie, and it's disability pride month, so I am owed one (1) trich representation for myself as a treat. Whoops, all self-indulgence!

anyways SOOO excited for this to be out of my brain so I can start sharing Yellow next 🥰🥰stay tuned for their grand fistfight at the movies

[michi-chelle]

the way i knew ikuina would sweep lmaoooo as he should tho

ok now that i finished the game, i gotta ask!

[juicedaloe]

Mithrun and brain damage

I'm not sure if anyone is interested in this, but I wanted to make a post talking about why I think that Mithrun has brain damage from a traumatic brain injury instead of him being a representation of other neurological disorders or mental illness. I'm not that involved in the dunmesh fandom so I don't know how common this headcanon is, though I've seen a few people mention it here and there.

This is just my own opinion so if you disagree then that's fine. Some of this is just speculation and I can't say what Kui's intentions were. This post isn't meant to be that serious. I just wanted to talk about it and hopefully inform about how brain damage can affect some people in a way that I hope is interesting and relevant.

This will be kind of long because I like to talk so it will be under the cut. Apologies for the length and how much I ramble. Feel free to give input especially if I got anything wrong or if this is too confusing.

Okay let's go

Traumatic brain injury (TBI) is incredibly complex. The long-term effects of a TBI include a wide array of symptoms. Each injury is different, and some people can completely recover rather quickly while others can become permanently disabled, even for seemingly "minor" injuries. What I'll cover here isn't a definitive representation of the experiences of all those who have long-term effects from TBI, nor do I speak for everyone with brain damage.

Here are some long term symptoms relevant to this post:

Alexithymia (inability to process and name emotions)

Inability to process and name physical perceptions

Mood swings and emotional regulation difficulties

Communication difficulties

Social impairment

Apathy about caring for oneself

Lack of motivation

Alexithymia and inability to process physical perceptions

This one is rather obvious. While Mithrun is shown to feel emotions and have physical sensations (for instance, describing his location when he gets lost in the dungeon as "a cold place"), he is also apathetic to how this affects him. This means that his physical and emotional perceptions are reduced in some way. He says that becoming lord of the dungeon will leave someone "empty", showing he is aware of his dulled emotional state.

A good example of this is can be seen here in a bonus comic where he doesn't give much of a reaction to burning his mouth on hot food.

(I love these two a lot, by the way. Pattadol is really under appreciated.)

He is also not able to recognize bodily signals, such as hunger or when he is tired. Despite collapsing from exhaustion and not eating for long periods of time, he still insists he is not tired or hungry.

Mood swings

Mood swings in combination with alexithymia can be an especially disorientating experience. Those who struggle to perceive their own emotions can still feel them even if they don't know how to recognize it.

Individuals with brain injuries often experience drastic mood swings, particularly anger. To those around them, they can appear to go from 0 to 100 in an instant.

This is more speculation/headcanon on my part, as the strongest emotion Mithrun has for most of his appearances is anger. However one could interpret this as being unrelated as he is seeking revenge for a traumatic experience.

Communication difficulties and social impairment

Not only can naming personal experiences be incredibly difficult with a brain injury, but other areas of communication are often affected as well.

Mithrun is not able to set boundaries for himself even if someone is doing something he would not actually want them to do, which can leave him in a vulnerable position.

People with brain injuries can sometimes have a paradoxical experience when it comes to communicating with others. They can go from being very quiet to speaking at length about one topic, seemingly without regard for the importance of each bit of information. (I see it like Newton's first law of motion. It is hard to start speaking and it can be just as hard to stop.)

I really like this aspect of Mithrun's characterization. Usually, he is very quiet because he has no reason to speak. However, once he starts talking he is shown to be overly specific and goes on for long periods of time. Kabru has to spend multiple days figuring out his story.

In a side comic, Kabru tells Mithrun he should condense some of the personal details that Kabru finds irrelevant to the topic of the dungeon.

Mithrun shares many details about himself because his desire not to do so is gone. This mirrors the experience of many people who have brain damage to overshare and not understand how their words will come across to others. Sometimes they say or do things that are insensitive or inappropriate for the situation.

Caring for oneself and motivation

In the dungeon, Mithrun becomes reliant on others for self care. He also seems especially incapable of motivating himself to take care of his body when he is particularly focused on his goals.

In these panels, thus far he had been fairly receptive of Kabru trying to take care of him. However, he could sense that the demon was close and was too focused on that to care to eat.

Refusal of care and treatment is often an effect of traumatic brain injury. This can be for seemingly no reason, even if the person knows that this will help them. Sometimes people will lie about receiving treatment or doing things to take care of themselves, either so they can avoid it or avoid having someone take care of them.

He knows that eating regularly and not pushing himself too much will help him - he's been told multiple times on-screen - but he still has to be continuously told by others to give him that motivation to take care of himself. He's very apathetic to his physical state, even if it seems his only desire is for revenge and he should be doing anything he can to achieve that.

Other things of note

I wasn't sure where to put this, but while Mithrun's sense of direction is speculated by Kabru to be left over from his time as lord of an ever-changing, confusing dungeon, having poor sense of direction in the way he does could also be indicative of brain injury as well.

While the dungeon is confusing and illogical, he is known to have a poor sense of direction and to get frequently lost by those around him, even trying to exit an entrance he just came through. He is shown to be very intelligent, but memory is greatly impacted by brain injuries which affects a person's sense of direction and location.

Something that really stands out to me about Mithrun is how much the things that help him are particularly helpful to those with brain damage. He is physically capable of performing tasks, but he needs an outside source to remind him and get him started. He relies entirely on routine, and when that regularity is taken away he shows extreme difficulty taking care of himself.

Sometimes, the care that some people need is simply someone else to encourage them or to tell them when to do things. The care that he needs is pretty consistent with a person with a brain injury who does not need a full time caretaker and would prefer to have some independence.

Also, healing magic is specified to not work with brain injury unless the person is killed and revived. Mithrun had not been revived after his injuries, so it is entirely possible for him to have sustained a TBI. I don't think this matters that much because one is still allowed to have headcanons even if there is a magical explanation or isn't really possible in canon, but I thought it was an interesting detail.

In conclusion

Because of all this I don't believe that his lack of self care is due solely to mental illness. While mental illnesses like depression or PTSD can cause a decline in self care, the reasons why the affected individual is avoidant of these tasks differs. These disorders can also cause cognitive difficulties and emotional regulation issues, but not to the same extent or in the same way that brain damage would. I think that he does have both depression and PTSD (both are common after a TBI) but those are not his only disabilities.

And on a personal note, I just think that having a character with brain damage is really cool. Most of the time I've seen it the characters are not given very much respect and they are treated as comic relief and a joke. Regardless of whether you agree with this post or not, it is still nice to see a character with a disability like this.

Thank you if you read all of this. I hope it was easy to understand and I did not ramble too much. I don't have anything else to say but I've been wanting to write this out for a while.

Okay bye

[kawhh]

https://www.tumblr.com/kawhh/789787260496363521/hand-porn-for-us-everyone-say-thank-you-bauer?source=share

Not me imagining him using that tape on me... 🥵

Thoughts about Quinn Hughes and tape are very dangerous to my brain.

Thinking about him having full control of you— having you under him, the familiarity of his game tape job, the safe space leaking into your relationship.

The confidence in his skills, the hand motions he's honed for years. This habit ingrained in him, a daze of affection clouding his face at you meshing his two worlds together, his obsessions.

He stares at you like you're a work of art. He'd commit sins to have you. His touch soft against your skin like he's touching a fragile canvas. The pads of his fingers tracing up your legs— a vaguely vulnerable look in his eyes when you spread for him. Final consent. Trusting him with your body.

Your ankle in his hand, his thumb lightly tracing the sensitive skin, eyes flickering up at you when you shiver, clear goosebumps on your flesh. So delicate in his hold. So responsive to his touch.

The sudden sound of tape making you startle, his lips resting against the skin of your ankle, easing you closer to him. His lips against you skin, worshipping at your altar. His shushing words murmured against you. Soft apologies for frightening you. His thumb pressing against the tape to lessen the stickiness, not wanting to damage your perfect skin. Pupils blown at the first contact on your skin, the tape stark against you.

His lips tracing the tape's path around your ankle, a kiss pressed against where both ends meet.

Impatience burning through his veins after his first taste of control, his first taste of restraint. His once soft touch turning firm as he scrambles up your body, a pure desperation in his eyes, a sharp edge you haven't seen before. Forehead against yours, his breath hot against you, his eyes narrowing in an almost challenge— a groan at the acceptance in your eyes, how open you are for him in every way.

His eyes rolling back in his head as a singular hand covers both of your wrists, pulling them above your head. Wrapping your taped ankle around his body, needing the contact. Making to raise the tape to your trapped wrists. Linking your hands together above you, a display of how connected he feels to you, how much this means to him.

He wants the tape wrapped around both him and you, a physical representation of his adoration of you, his partnership with you.

[bikenesmith]

Despite [Xavier’s] previous insistence that he is only whole when able-bodied, he comes to terms very quickly with his return to disability: “My back is shattered, a parting gift from the Shadow King… It appears… if I am ever to achieve my dream… I will need all of you… to walk me there” (Nicieza 23). In the span of a single panel, Xavier acknowledges that he is once again disabled, accepts it, and asks his teammates for help. Due to his previous elation at becoming able-bodied, one would think he would require more time to adjust, to shift his identity once more from “able-bodied” to “differently-abled.” The ease in which Professor X resumes his disabled identity lends itself to the notion that being able-bodied, not disabled, is a plot device. He takes more time to adjust to using his legs than he does to losing them, a pattern generally reversed when other characters become disabled. This smooth transition back to disability implies that his truest identity is as a disabled man.

crippled crusaders: disability representation in the superhero genre by cassandra nicol is a central inspiration to my reading of charles xavier's disability (as is the text itself). is charles ever "re-abled”, or is his disability a chronic illness that dramatically waxes + wanes?

(this is a rewrite/expansion of a previous post that includes many more textual examples + visual aides! also posted on twitter here)

(also check out this amazing xxplastic--cubexx commission ouchpotatoex gifted me that is related to this concept 🥹)

the dominant, most objective[?] read is that charles becomes abled, is disabled, + becomes abled again ad nauseam. yet this narrative trend has also licensed a reading where charles’ disability is, functionally, a chronic illness that flares due to outward stimuli.

whether charles’ paraplegia is due to physical injury or a brain/astral issue isn’t clear, having been complicated over the years by the many ways the text chooses to able + re-disable him. in any case, his paraplegia began after his spine was crushed by a giant rock.

what makes the most sense to me is leaning into that ambiguity. its both — either mental or physical injury/ailment can cause him disablement. the back + forth of charles’ paraplegia signifies he’s uniquely in danger of that specific symptom — paraplegia/spine issues.

like injury or damage to the spine, injury or damage to the brain can lead to quadriplegia or paraplegia. the brain + the spine, the central nervous system, they’re basically extensions of each other, and are some of the most important parts of your body.

from this one can extrapolate that charles has a particularly “weak” spine, and it’s likely to give out if he experiences intense physical OR psionic injury. and as an x-man, he risks that quite often.

before i go further, here's a list of all of charles xavier's ablements + disablements & how they happened. 😭 yes that's an ELEVEN POINT LIST. re: resurrections i counted both his x-force + inferno resurrections as one item. let me know if i missed anything.

methods of disablement + re-ablement

disabled by spinal injury

abled* from new body cloned from tissue

disabled by spinal injury

very briefly abled by contraction of techno-organic virus

disabled by fading of techno-organic virus

briefly abled** by xorn's healing

disabled by xorn removing healing

reabled by wanda's depowering

killed by cyclops

transfers soul into fantomex's abled body

resurrected into abled clone bodies

*: unable to walk for a time due to psychic disablement

**: requires cane to walk

the strongest evidence for charles’ disability as psychic/neurological AND physical chronic illness exists in his story beats post-brood saga, during which his body is destroyed and his soul is transferred into an abled clone-body made from his tissue samples.

however, charles finds that he is not able to walk/walk consistently, despite the fact that there is nothing "wrong" with this new body. in these panels (and in the ones in the coming tweets), charles + lilandra discuss the mental/neurological element of his disability at length.

charles goes through an arduous physical therapy process trying to circumvent the mental barrier, which causes him excruciating pain, and experiences sharp fluctuations in ambulatory ability. it’s basically outright said that his disability is not just in his body, but his brain.

(interestingly, soon after, his health is a central subject once again, after he survives a violent hate crime & hides the injury + resulting health issues. those health issues are then exacerbated by another severe injury at the hands of the strucker twins. thus headmaster mags)

i also think the “ease” with which charles moves from ability one state to another that nicol mentions is important to this. to be clear: we have seen charles agonize over his disability, and especially losing his ability. it’s undeniable that it impacts him emotionally.

but charles doesn’t go through the intense “grieving” process many newly disabled ppl do — the kind he went through himself while recovering from his first spinal injury (see uncanny x-men #309). as nicol points out:

In Xavier's next appearance two issues later, he is seated in a golden wheelchair and seems insistent that his disability not hinder his participation in X-Men adventures. Instead he emphasizes his usefulness with his telepathic powers, declaring, "I too shall be coming. Though I am crippled once again, my particular talents may be needed there" (Portacio and Byrne 6). His disabled status is stressed through a visual weight of the word "crippled," both bolded and italicized in the comic panel, similar to how "whole" was stressed when he became able-bodied in 1983. But here, "crippled" is not laden with judgment. It is merely an acknowledgement of Xavier's condition. This smooth transition back to disability in some ways rectifies his description of "able-bodied" as "whole," as Charles insists that even paraplegic once more, he is still more than capable of being an X-Man, and he is still the most powerful mutant in the world. Regardless of the state of his physical body, Charles knows that his disability need not impose limitations on his actions; he harnesses his role as leader of the X-Men and his disability is, effectively, relegated to background information.

of course, this is in part because charles had already been paraplegic for years, but it can also be read as him just being ready for it. seeing it as an eventuality, a familiar state that he will return to throughout his life. a chronic disability that exists whether or not he can walk.

There is one more major instance in which Professor X becomes able-bodied. In 2002, a mutant named Xorn restores Xavier's ability to walk (Morrison, "All Hell" 32). This is the most short-lived instance of Xavier being able-bodied. Only a year later, Xorn is revealed to be Magneto in disguise, one of Professor X's oldest enemies; Xorn removes the nano-sentinels that had been holding Xavier's spine together, crippling him again (Morrison, "Planet X" 19). Later, once freed from captivity, Xavier reappears in a chair with alien-like legs, giving him 21 autonomous movement (Morrison, "Phoenix Invictus" 27). This time, he makes no mention of his return to paraplegia. He is in full command of the X-Men, and has again made a smooth identity transition from "able-bodied" to "differently-abled." The fact that this occurs once more stresses that to be disabled is part of Charles Xavier's truest identity, and that being able-bodied is a temporary plot point rather than a character trait.

so what does this mean in the krakoan age, the most recent and recognizable instance of charles' "abling"? we've already been shown that a newly grown physical body doesn't necessarily mean that it does not come without his disability.

is the disability a “symptom” of charles' telepathy? is it imprinted in his mind/soul/whatever you want to call what cerebro catalogues, or the form charles takes when transferring into new bodies? is a krakoan-made body uniquely "stronger" than past ones? (R-LDS notwithstanding)

throughout all of krakoa era, there’s never been any mention of what charles feels about making his bodies ambulatory. the closest thing we have to that is the knowledge that he brought his own wheelchairs with him to krakoa (which somewhat supports a "chronic illness" reading, at least).

the fact that charles brought his wheelchairs with him to krakoa.....in a paradise allegedly free of death or sickness he still prepares for his needs to change, as if its an immutable part of him that could resist miracle drugs + literal resurrection.

(but isn't it SO classic x-men bullshit that we only get that insight in the backdrop of an ableist plot where a villain is punished and humiliated.....by being dis-abled? lmfao. in duggan's marauders, disability is considered a punishment worse than death.)

via xuân’s resurrection in new mutants, we know that its possible to have your physical disability preserved when you’re resurrected. so it must have been an active choice of charles' to be resurrected into an abled body.

personally, i find charles' choice to be resurrected in an abled body to be in-character. he's done it before, he frequently mourns his ability to walk, & has always enjoyed running + abled sports. the lack of discussion and attention to this choice is the problem.

imo the best outcome for charles, an iconic disabled character w/ a long complex history w/ his disability, is to canonize this complexity by revisiting the aforementioned story beats and reframing his disability as an intrinsic part of him that he experiences whether he is ambulatory or not.

understanding charles xavier's disability as a chronic disability that simply has fluctuating presentations + support needs is a far more compelling idea than continuing with this on-off-switch thing that only serves to trivialize + erase disability.

some last points:

beyond charles' specific issues, telepathy can by itself already be seen as a disability as it causes issues that are similar to neurological disorders (migraines, fatigue, fainting, pain, visions/hallucinations, etc).

the serum plotline in xmdofp (2014) is clowned on for not making sense but i guess this lowkey works as an argument that it does??? charles' physical disability being connected to his telepathy has precedent. "well in the comics — ☝️🤓"

end of post! if you want to read cassandra nicol's paper check it out here! (if you don't have access to it through a library or institution, message me for a pdf!)

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

I know that you headcanon Sabo in the original OP universe to have schizophrenia, but does your sabo in the wittb au also have schizophrenia? If so, how does it affect his daily life?

Im not too big on the sabo schizophrenia headcanon, like beyond just a headcanon i sometimes think of i dont have a lot of ideas for it, but i dont think modern au Sabo would have it like canon universe Sabo does.

I think it would be spurred on in canon by brain damage from the blast from his childhood and also the insane amounts of trauma that he has went through since.

My modern au Sabo has had a traumatic injury to his head but it was more of a severe scrape and a concussion than canon’s Hit With A Fucking Cannon Ball Blast, know what i mean?

Sorry i just dont have many thoughts on it, and admittedly i dont know The Most about schizophrenia besides the baseline, but i do think he is a strong contender for Schizophrenia Representation In Media/Headcanons.

Thanks for the ask!